Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:33,867 --> 00:00:35,129
Domo Tokyo!
2
00:00:35,202 --> 00:00:36,692
I loves you Tokyo!
3
00:00:36,770 --> 00:00:39,568
I loves each and
every ones of- yyyyyy.
4
00:00:42,075 --> 00:00:43,872
Where's ams l?
5
00:00:43,944 --> 00:00:45,809
Ams I beens kidnappeds?
Im's worth lots of monies!
6
00:00:45,879 --> 00:00:47,005
I'll gives to yous
whatsever you wants!
7
00:00:47,080 --> 00:00:48,138
Please don'ts kills me!
8
00:00:48,215 --> 00:00:49,773
I dos anythings.
9
00:00:49,850 --> 00:00:51,147
Nobody can help you.
10
00:00:51,218 --> 00:00:53,152
Oh gods no.
Whys me?
11
00:00:53,220 --> 00:00:54,915
Why don't you kills
Dethkloks insteads?
12
00:00:55,055 --> 00:00:55,919
I'll leads you to thems!
13
00:00:55,989 --> 00:00:57,013
They're rich!
14
00:00:57,090 --> 00:00:58,648
I hardlys has any
publishings anyways!
15
00:00:58,725 --> 00:01:01,216
Oh, why does Tokis always
gets de bads luck?
16
00:01:01,495 --> 00:01:04,123
I just have one thing to
say to you before I kill you.
17
00:01:04,198 --> 00:01:05,165
(sobbing)
18
00:01:05,232 --> 00:01:06,130
Whats.
19
00:01:06,233 --> 00:01:08,064
Haaaaaaappy Birthday!!!
20
00:01:08,135 --> 00:01:11,161
Surprise!
21
00:01:11,238 --> 00:01:13,172
Oh wowee...
22
00:01:13,240 --> 00:01:14,764
Happy Birthday
Motherfucker!!
23
00:01:14,842 --> 00:01:16,139
Ha! Yous!
24
00:01:16,243 --> 00:01:17,642
We tricked you!
25
00:01:17,711 --> 00:01:19,508
Yous tricked me!
26
00:01:19,580 --> 00:01:20,569
We tricked you!
27
00:01:20,647 --> 00:01:22,706
Ohh the look on
your fucking face!
28
00:01:22,783 --> 00:01:25,183
I thoughts- I was goings
to be murdereds.
29
00:01:25,252 --> 00:01:27,117
That's the ideas.
You know?
30
00:01:27,187 --> 00:01:28,950
Seriouslys though Tokis.
31
00:01:29,022 --> 00:01:30,887
Happys Birthdays.
32
00:01:30,958 --> 00:01:33,119
I really really thoughts
I was going to die...
33
00:01:33,193 --> 00:01:34,683
Welp.
Go get cleaned up.
34
00:01:34,761 --> 00:01:36,160
We got tons of fun
planned tonight.
35
00:01:36,263 --> 00:01:38,561
And dude. There's about
a hundred sluts
36
00:01:38,632 --> 00:01:41,931
out there came over to
fuck your brains out.
37
00:01:42,002 --> 00:01:44,869
Oh wondersfuls.
Just what I needs.
38
00:01:44,938 --> 00:01:45,927
More sluts.
39
00:01:46,139 --> 00:01:47,163
? Doodily ding dong
tick-tock ?
40
00:01:47,274 --> 00:01:48,263
? Doodily ding dong
tick-tock ?
41
00:01:48,542 --> 00:01:49,736
? Doodily ding dong
tick-tock ?
42
00:01:49,810 --> 00:01:51,004
? Doodily ding dong
tick-tock ?
43
00:01:51,078 --> 00:01:52,204
? Doodily ding dong
tick-tock ?
44
00:01:52,279 --> 00:01:53,940
? Dethklok!
Dethklok! Dethklok!
45
00:01:54,014 --> 00:01:54,981
Dethklok! ?
46
00:01:55,048 --> 00:01:57,209
? I'll...teach you...
47
00:01:57,284 --> 00:01:59,980
to...rock... ?
48
00:02:00,053 --> 00:02:01,213
? Dethklok, Dethklok ?
49
00:02:01,288 --> 00:02:03,984
? Skwisgaar Skwigelf,
taller than a tree ?
50
00:02:04,057 --> 00:02:06,218
? Toki Wartooth,
not a bumblebee ?
51
00:02:06,293 --> 00:02:08,818
? William Murderface
Murderface Murderface ?
52
00:02:08,896 --> 00:02:09,920
? Pickles the drummer
doodily doo ?
53
00:02:09,997 --> 00:02:11,589
ding dong doodily
doodily doo ?
54
00:02:11,665 --> 00:02:13,599
? Nathan Explosion ?
55
00:02:13,667 --> 00:02:17,296
? ?
56
00:02:19,239 --> 00:02:22,970
Toki Wartooth multimillionaire,
no wedding ring, no girlfriend,
57
00:02:23,043 --> 00:02:24,943
Iong flowing hair.
58
00:02:25,012 --> 00:02:28,243
One of the most beautiful
pre-op trannies I've ever seen.
59
00:02:28,315 --> 00:02:29,247
(laughing)
60
00:02:29,316 --> 00:02:30,943
Oh no you didn't!
61
00:02:31,018 --> 00:02:32,076
Get another drink
in me and l
62
00:02:32,152 --> 00:02:34,313
might take a crack
at you myself.
63
00:02:35,722 --> 00:02:36,620
What do we have here!
64
00:02:36,690 --> 00:02:38,021
The rest of Dethklok
just hanging out.
65
00:02:38,091 --> 00:02:38,921
What a treat!
66
00:02:38,992 --> 00:02:40,084
Pickles the drummer.
67
00:02:40,160 --> 00:02:41,559
You know he's so high right now
he thinks he's watching this on
68
00:02:41,628 --> 00:02:42,686
Youtube.
69
00:02:42,763 --> 00:02:45,061
Ha!!!!!
I actually do!
70
00:02:45,132 --> 00:02:46,622
And William Murderface.
71
00:02:46,700 --> 00:02:48,258
What's it like spending all
day hanging out with
72
00:02:48,335 --> 00:02:50,098
actual musicians?
73
00:02:50,170 --> 00:02:51,262
( laughs )
74
00:02:51,338 --> 00:02:53,329
All these years and
nothing's rubbed off?
75
00:02:53,607 --> 00:02:54,835
Yeah!
76
00:02:54,908 --> 00:02:56,205
Seriously folks, what do you
77
00:02:56,276 --> 00:02:58,210
throw a drowning
Bass Player?
78
00:02:58,278 --> 00:02:59,267
His amp.
79
00:02:59,346 --> 00:03:00,608
( laughs )
80
00:03:00,681 --> 00:03:02,273
And Skwisgaar Skwigelf,
81
00:03:02,349 --> 00:03:04,078
we got him right here.
82
00:03:04,151 --> 00:03:06,278
You fuck more women
than breast cancer.
83
00:03:06,353 --> 00:03:07,820
( laughs )
84
00:03:07,888 --> 00:03:09,651
I'm kidding of course.
85
00:03:09,723 --> 00:03:13,716
But back to Murderface, after
selling Krillions of records
86
00:03:13,794 --> 00:03:15,261
it's refreshing to see that
87
00:03:15,362 --> 00:03:17,887
women still won't fuck you.
88
00:03:17,965 --> 00:03:19,125
( laughs )
89
00:03:19,199 --> 00:03:22,066
Skanky Crack
whores who need the money,
90
00:03:22,135 --> 00:03:24,695
they're like,
"no thanks".
91
00:03:24,771 --> 00:03:26,136
That's not true.
92
00:03:26,206 --> 00:03:27,298
How about
you over there?
93
00:03:27,374 --> 00:03:29,899
We've got Tonto
in the building.
94
00:03:29,977 --> 00:03:32,036
Why can't you
use your magical
95
00:03:32,112 --> 00:03:33,841
Indian tracking
skills to find
96
00:03:33,914 --> 00:03:35,814
some soap and water?
97
00:03:35,882 --> 00:03:37,315
( laughs )
98
00:03:37,384 --> 00:03:38,282
I can't tell if you haven't
99
00:03:38,352 --> 00:03:39,876
showered or if
somebody's opening
100
00:03:39,953 --> 00:03:42,114
up a factory
where they produce
101
00:03:42,189 --> 00:03:44,384
things that
smell like shit.
102
00:03:44,625 --> 00:03:46,217
( crowd gasps )
103
00:03:47,327 --> 00:03:48,316
Give him a
round of applause.
104
00:03:48,395 --> 00:03:49,384
He's good.
105
00:03:53,400 --> 00:03:54,765
Dude, Toki,
there you are.
106
00:03:54,835 --> 00:03:56,325
We've been looking
all over for you.
107
00:03:56,403 --> 00:03:58,166
Hi...
108
00:03:58,238 --> 00:04:00,103
Oh, takes them away
please Pickle.
109
00:04:00,173 --> 00:04:01,765
(beat) Please.
110
00:04:01,842 --> 00:04:04,675
You heard him girls.
111
00:04:04,745 --> 00:04:06,076
Hey, why'd you do that?
112
00:04:06,146 --> 00:04:07,636
They were all going to
fuck your brains out.
113
00:04:07,714 --> 00:04:09,341
I don't wants no
more hots sluts.
114
00:04:09,416 --> 00:04:10,781
Don'ts you gets it?
115
00:04:10,851 --> 00:04:12,910
They only wants us
becuase we ams famous!
116
00:04:12,986 --> 00:04:14,817
Alls of this
ams bullshits.
117
00:04:14,888 --> 00:04:18,119
Surroundeds by skankies golds
diggers and sluts all day!
118
00:04:18,191 --> 00:04:21,354
How dare you say that about
skanky gold diggers and sluts.
119
00:04:21,428 --> 00:04:23,055
That is offensive.
120
00:04:23,130 --> 00:04:24,324
Shame on you.
121
00:04:24,398 --> 00:04:27,333
Can'ts you see?
I wants a real woman.
122
00:04:27,434 --> 00:04:28,662
What are you talking about?
123
00:04:28,735 --> 00:04:31,966
I wants a womans Pickle.
A reals womans.
124
00:04:32,039 --> 00:04:34,337
A womans whats can
bears my childrens.
125
00:04:34,441 --> 00:04:37,433
And I will does anythings
I needs to finds her.
126
00:04:40,347 --> 00:04:42,144
Women around the world have
lined up to for a chance to meet
127
00:04:42,215 --> 00:04:43,876
and hopefully marry
Toki Wartooth.
128
00:04:43,950 --> 00:04:45,850
The lines are big and
it's getting violent.
129
00:04:45,919 --> 00:04:47,819
But do they even
have a chance?
130
00:04:47,888 --> 00:04:50,152
And that's the
Dethklok minute.
131
00:04:50,223 --> 00:04:52,919
Hey Toki,
that's pretty cool.
132
00:04:52,993 --> 00:04:54,893
You got mentioned in
the Dethklok Minute.
133
00:04:54,961 --> 00:04:56,394
Thanks Nathans!
But guys.
134
00:04:56,463 --> 00:04:58,931
I'm nervous. I don't even knows
how to go abouts dis findings a
135
00:04:58,999 --> 00:05:00,466
Iady business.
136
00:05:00,701 --> 00:05:02,726
Oh Toki, that's cute.
137
00:05:02,803 --> 00:05:03,861
That's precious.
138
00:05:03,937 --> 00:05:05,871
You need some dating
advice from your pals.
139
00:05:05,939 --> 00:05:07,930
Dats would be very
helpsful Pickle.
140
00:05:08,008 --> 00:05:11,136
Ok. Well, here's what you do
to meet a lady, alright:
141
00:05:11,211 --> 00:05:14,044
you get your tour manager to
find some chick and then
142
00:05:14,114 --> 00:05:17,083
when he brings her backstage
you pull out your dick.
143
00:05:17,150 --> 00:05:19,084
Yeah. You pulls out your dicks.
144
00:05:19,152 --> 00:05:20,414
Pulls out your- Guys.
I'm talkings
145
00:05:20,487 --> 00:05:22,318
about a real dates here.
146
00:05:22,389 --> 00:05:23,788
How is that not a real date?
147
00:05:23,857 --> 00:05:25,415
Yeah. How is that not
a real date Toki?
148
00:05:25,492 --> 00:05:28,427
A date--Wheres you actuallys
talks to a girl...
149
00:05:28,495 --> 00:05:30,895
And she says stuffs and you
ask each other questions...
150
00:05:30,964 --> 00:05:32,261
and she talks
backs to yous...
151
00:05:32,332 --> 00:05:33,890
Questions?
Wait a minute-- questions?
152
00:05:33,967 --> 00:05:36,492
Like when we're in
court questions?
153
00:05:36,737 --> 00:05:40,730
Toki. Look. You need some lady
advice, you've come to the right
154
00:05:40,807 --> 00:05:42,775
place...
In my experience-
155
00:05:42,843 --> 00:05:44,208
Pfft (laughs)
156
00:05:44,277 --> 00:05:48,111
I'm sorry.
Are you scoffing at me?
157
00:05:48,181 --> 00:05:49,443
Nopes (laughs)
158
00:05:49,516 --> 00:05:51,074
Okay. Look.
159
00:05:51,151 --> 00:05:52,175
I'm a little sick of this.
160
00:05:52,252 --> 00:05:53,116
Sick of what?
161
00:05:53,186 --> 00:05:55,086
Of people thinking l
don't get any action.
162
00:05:55,155 --> 00:05:57,453
That fucking comic
talking all that shit!
163
00:05:57,524 --> 00:05:59,788
Well I'll have you all
know that I do get laid.
164
00:05:59,860 --> 00:06:01,418
Constantly.
165
00:06:01,495 --> 00:06:03,520
Why are yous directings
that at me?
166
00:06:03,797 --> 00:06:05,094
I didn't even says nothing.
167
00:06:05,165 --> 00:06:06,257
Because I know
what you think.
168
00:06:06,333 --> 00:06:07,459
You think you're the king.
169
00:06:07,534 --> 00:06:09,229
And you fucking aren't!
170
00:06:09,302 --> 00:06:11,793
I am.
King of getting laid!
171
00:06:11,872 --> 00:06:12,839
Murderface.
172
00:06:12,906 --> 00:06:15,170
Ok. Please, you don't
have to prove things to us.
173
00:06:15,242 --> 00:06:16,266
It's fine.
Just-
174
00:06:16,343 --> 00:06:17,776
No. Fuck you pickles
you smug asshole.
175
00:06:17,844 --> 00:06:20,108
I can get any girl
Skwisgaar gets.
176
00:06:20,180 --> 00:06:23,479
Any girl!
You dicks doubt me? Huh?
177
00:06:23,550 --> 00:06:24,448
Yes.
178
00:06:24,551 --> 00:06:26,485
Then I'll
fucking prove it.
179
00:06:26,553 --> 00:06:31,422
Starting now I will sleep with
as many girls as Skwisgaar does.
180
00:06:31,491 --> 00:06:33,049
Alright, fine.
You're on.
181
00:06:33,126 --> 00:06:34,491
What are we going
to do for proof?
182
00:06:34,561 --> 00:06:37,462
How about lady
underpants and or
183
00:06:37,531 --> 00:06:40,796
recorded video and
or audio testimonial.
184
00:06:40,867 --> 00:06:42,494
Ok. Fine.
It's a bet!
185
00:06:42,569 --> 00:06:44,264
Alright.
Well, I'll gets out of heres.
186
00:06:44,337 --> 00:06:46,464
I thinks I'll gets a head
starts on humiliating yous.
187
00:06:46,540 --> 00:06:47,507
Alright?
188
00:06:47,574 --> 00:06:49,872
Yeah. Right.
I'm gonna get so much pussy that
189
00:06:49,943 --> 00:06:52,503
I might choke.
On it.
190
00:06:52,579 --> 00:06:54,945
On the pussy.
On all that pussy.
191
00:06:55,015 --> 00:06:56,004
I'm going to choke.
192
00:06:56,082 --> 00:06:57,515
Yous guys makes
me fuckings sick.
193
00:06:57,584 --> 00:06:59,313
You're so
revoltinglys shallows.
194
00:06:59,386 --> 00:07:01,047
Alls of you.
I gots to go meets
195
00:07:01,121 --> 00:07:02,850
some peoples
at a dating agency.
196
00:07:02,923 --> 00:07:04,447
I'll see you laters pals!!
197
00:07:05,959 --> 00:07:08,450
Mr Wartooth, our company is very
serious about finding their
198
00:07:08,528 --> 00:07:10,496
clients a life lady-mate
partner.
199
00:07:10,564 --> 00:07:12,395
Life Lady-mates partner?
200
00:07:12,465 --> 00:07:15,525
Yes. We're confident that our
matching system is so solid that
201
00:07:15,602 --> 00:07:17,536
we give a one hundred
percent guarantee.
202
00:07:17,604 --> 00:07:19,504
Well, dat ams somes
impressive numbers
203
00:07:19,606 --> 00:07:21,972
buts I'm looking not
onlys for a friends
204
00:07:22,042 --> 00:07:23,270
but alsos
a companion ands
205
00:07:23,343 --> 00:07:25,140
a mothers to my childrens.
206
00:07:25,212 --> 00:07:27,009
Oh yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah,
no no problem.
207
00:07:28,014 --> 00:07:28,844
Dats it?
208
00:07:28,915 --> 00:07:30,348
Yes sir.
209
00:07:30,417 --> 00:07:33,215
We can pinpoint your future
ladymate partner's
210
00:07:33,286 --> 00:07:34,548
fertility to the second.
211
00:07:34,621 --> 00:07:38,557
Not to brag but I can
pinpoint my fertility too.
212
00:07:38,625 --> 00:07:42,459
All I need is some lotion and a
little DSL quality internet
213
00:07:42,529 --> 00:07:43,996
and some napkins.
214
00:07:44,064 --> 00:07:47,397
I'm kidding, of course.
Keep going.
215
00:07:47,467 --> 00:07:51,301
I tolds yous you could comes in
if you didn't ruins my meeting!!
216
00:07:51,371 --> 00:07:53,271
I think I'm enhancing
the meeting.
217
00:07:53,340 --> 00:07:55,535
Look. Sir? I just want to meet
like a hundred girls and
218
00:07:55,642 --> 00:07:58,475
fuck the bajeesus
out of them.
219
00:07:58,545 --> 00:08:00,877
So, uh, can we set up an
account here or somethin?
220
00:08:00,947 --> 00:08:03,438
We don't do that here.
This is for life mates.
221
00:08:03,516 --> 00:08:05,450
Damn. This is not
going to be easy.
222
00:08:05,518 --> 00:08:07,247
Just waits in the
fuckings lobby!
223
00:08:07,320 --> 00:08:09,481
Sorry. Gaaaah!
You better find
224
00:08:09,556 --> 00:08:12,218
this guy some pussy
because he is real-
225
00:08:12,292 --> 00:08:15,489
Will you fuckings gets
outta here?!?!
226
00:08:15,562 --> 00:08:18,030
Like I was saying, Our matches
are accurate but we need
227
00:08:18,098 --> 00:08:19,190
information from you.
228
00:08:19,266 --> 00:08:22,099
First off: looks, we know
it's important that you be
229
00:08:22,168 --> 00:08:24,159
attracted to your partner so
we want to make sure we know
230
00:08:24,237 --> 00:08:27,035
First off: I don't even wants
her to knows I'm famous and
231
00:08:27,107 --> 00:08:28,597
I don't cares whats
she looks likes!
232
00:08:28,675 --> 00:08:30,540
Looks am fleetins.
233
00:08:30,610 --> 00:08:33,670
And I'm not some shallow dildos
whats only cares about tits.
234
00:08:33,947 --> 00:08:37,041
I wants a pures woman with
consfidensk and a trues heart.
235
00:08:37,117 --> 00:08:38,607
Somebodys l
cans talks to-
236
00:08:38,685 --> 00:08:39,617
I get the idea.
237
00:08:39,686 --> 00:08:41,176
I think we're done.
Thanks you so much!
238
00:08:41,254 --> 00:08:42,619
Thats ams wonderful news!
239
00:08:42,689 --> 00:08:47,683
Oh and Toki. Like I said:
we guarantee our results.
240
00:08:49,696 --> 00:08:51,323
I can do everything
that Skwisgaar,
241
00:08:51,398 --> 00:08:55,266
I can get this lady, I can make
them... okay, calm down...
242
00:08:55,335 --> 00:09:01,604
Hello everybody! Surprise
inspection! Right?
243
00:09:01,708 --> 00:09:06,702
Hi there missy. Excuse me.
Mind if I get in there and check
244
00:09:06,947 --> 00:09:08,039
my myspace account.
245
00:09:08,114 --> 00:09:09,308
I'm working actually.
246
00:09:09,382 --> 00:09:14,081
Yeah just get a little
comfortable here...
247
00:09:14,154 --> 00:09:16,122
Just approve a
couple comments.
248
00:09:16,189 --> 00:09:18,623
I get a lot of
crazy comments.
249
00:09:18,692 --> 00:09:21,058
You're, probably a little
star struck right now.
250
00:09:21,127 --> 00:09:22,651
Just relax.
251
00:09:22,729 --> 00:09:24,162
I'm trying to get
some work done.
252
00:09:24,230 --> 00:09:26,425
Relax, I'm just a
regular guy.
253
00:09:26,499 --> 00:09:30,367
I mean sure I'm a multi
billionaire and I'm your boss
254
00:09:30,437 --> 00:09:33,668
so you know what that means
...if you wanna keep your job--
255
00:09:33,740 --> 00:09:41,044
Aghhhhhhhh!!!!
Ow ow ow!!
256
00:09:41,114 --> 00:09:41,944
Hellos?
257
00:09:42,015 --> 00:09:42,845
Mr. Wartooth?
258
00:09:42,916 --> 00:09:43,746
Oh yes.
259
00:09:43,984 --> 00:09:45,315
I have some very
good news for you.
260
00:09:45,385 --> 00:09:46,579
We found your ladymate.
261
00:09:46,653 --> 00:09:48,314
Hey, they
founds my ladymates!
262
00:09:48,388 --> 00:09:49,480
We found the
lady you are going
263
00:09:49,556 --> 00:09:51,387
to spend the
rest of your life with.
264
00:09:51,458 --> 00:09:53,016
Her name is
Caroline Bsijldfjo.
265
00:09:53,093 --> 00:09:55,118
Oh wowee,
that's greats news!
266
00:09:55,195 --> 00:09:58,494
Guys, I'm going on my big
dates, wish me lucks!
267
00:09:58,565 --> 00:09:59,998
Good luck!
268
00:10:00,066 --> 00:10:08,701
? I never mets you.
But I thinks I loves you.
269
00:10:08,775 --> 00:10:16,705
You are the womans
of my dreams.
270
00:10:16,783 --> 00:10:24,713
Computers technologies
brought us together.
271
00:10:24,791 --> 00:10:30,787
And I thinks you're
the ones for me.
272
00:10:31,031 --> 00:10:38,096
I am Toki.
273
00:10:39,072 --> 00:10:47,070
You ares Caroline.
274
00:10:47,147 --> 00:10:54,553
And we mets onlines.
275
00:10:54,621 --> 00:11:03,188
Because I'm gonna
makes you mine.
276
00:11:03,263 --> 00:11:06,755
And we probably
gets married.
277
00:11:06,833 --> 00:11:10,769
Probably has childrens.
278
00:11:10,837 --> 00:11:14,773
Probably lives our lives
togethers.
279
00:11:14,841 --> 00:11:19,175
Probably dies togethers.
280
00:11:19,245 --> 00:11:24,376
I am Toki. ??
281
00:11:24,451 --> 00:11:26,715
Hi.
282
00:11:26,853 --> 00:11:27,842
Hi.
283
00:11:36,563 --> 00:11:38,758
Great date. Oh.
Here's my fertility chart.
284
00:11:38,865 --> 00:11:40,799
Oh. It's uh- reallys?
285
00:11:40,867 --> 00:11:42,767
The fifteenth.
You'll have to keep it open.
286
00:11:42,836 --> 00:11:43,768
The fifteenths?
287
00:11:43,870 --> 00:11:45,337
Oh. That's when we'll have
intercourse.
288
00:11:45,405 --> 00:11:48,738
Inster-intsercourse?
I means we just barelys met-
289
00:11:48,808 --> 00:11:51,868
I like the name Wilthmore.
Or Donnington.
290
00:11:52,112 --> 00:11:53,101
For whats?
291
00:11:53,179 --> 00:11:54,703
For our baby.
I've got to go.
292
00:11:54,781 --> 00:11:57,511
Looking forward to our long
long future together life mate.
293
00:11:57,584 --> 00:11:58,516
Oh.
294
00:11:58,585 --> 00:12:00,746
Don't forget, keep the fifteenth
open so you can deposit your
295
00:12:00,820 --> 00:12:02,811
sperm into my
vagina with your penis.
296
00:12:02,889 --> 00:12:05,687
Ok.
297
00:12:05,758 --> 00:12:07,783
Murderface, there's a sexual
harassment lawsuit being filed
298
00:12:07,861 --> 00:12:08,885
against you by one of our
employees at the
299
00:12:08,962 --> 00:12:09,826
online department.
300
00:12:09,896 --> 00:12:11,295
What?
Are you kidding me?
301
00:12:11,364 --> 00:12:13,889
That is fucking bullshit.
What is the world coming to?
302
00:12:14,167 --> 00:12:16,761
I didn't even get a chance to
sexually harass her!
303
00:12:16,836 --> 00:12:18,360
Whether or not it's true
is beside the point.
304
00:12:18,438 --> 00:12:21,134
In cases like these it's best
to provide a lump payment
305
00:12:21,207 --> 00:12:23,539
(out of your pocket of course)
and settle out of court.
306
00:12:23,610 --> 00:12:24,804
Oh and you're going
to have to attend
307
00:12:24,911 --> 00:12:25,900
a sexual harassment seminar.
308
00:12:26,146 --> 00:12:27,738
A sexual harassment
seminar's
309
00:12:27,814 --> 00:12:30,374
totally gonna interfere
with me getting pussy.
310
00:12:30,450 --> 00:12:33,248
I better not lose this bet
because of this!
311
00:12:33,319 --> 00:12:36,288
I wonder if Skwisgaar's
even participating.
312
00:12:36,356 --> 00:12:38,688
Ohhh ohhh ohhh ohhh.
313
00:12:38,758 --> 00:12:41,693
Ohh ohh ohh ohhh.
314
00:12:48,301 --> 00:12:50,292
So? How was the date?
315
00:12:50,370 --> 00:12:52,668
(lying) Oh great! Great!
She's really the ones!
316
00:12:52,739 --> 00:12:54,832
Oh and what's a personality.
317
00:12:54,908 --> 00:12:56,876
That's great, man!
So when do we get to meet her?
318
00:12:56,943 --> 00:12:58,308
Nevers.
319
00:12:58,378 --> 00:12:59,504
Ooooh. I get it.
320
00:12:59,579 --> 00:13:01,672
You're afraid we'll try
to steal her away.
321
00:13:01,748 --> 00:13:05,878
She must be something, Huh?
She must be an angel huh?
322
00:13:05,952 --> 00:13:08,182
Like a gift from God.
323
00:13:08,254 --> 00:13:09,846
Yups.
324
00:13:09,923 --> 00:13:10,890
Hey, that's great.
So you really
325
00:13:10,957 --> 00:13:12,857
recommend this
dating agency, huh?
326
00:13:12,926 --> 00:13:17,488
Oh not reallys no.
It's uuuh, toos expensive.
327
00:13:17,564 --> 00:13:19,828
It's just ways toos expensives.
328
00:13:19,899 --> 00:13:21,662
Dude, but I thought they
picked awinner for you.
329
00:13:21,734 --> 00:13:22,894
Hey I gots an ideas!
330
00:13:22,969 --> 00:13:24,903
How bouts nomore
talkings about this?
331
00:13:24,971 --> 00:13:27,303
I havesto gos and meets with
demsactuallys right now.
332
00:13:27,373 --> 00:13:28,362
Good bye!
333
00:13:29,742 --> 00:13:31,403
Wow. Never seen the
kid so happy.
334
00:13:32,512 --> 00:13:34,776
Hey, folks.
It's me! FACEBONES!
335
00:13:34,847 --> 00:13:37,543
Alright, Facebones!
336
00:13:37,617 --> 00:13:39,585
I'm here to tell you about
a very serious issue:
337
00:13:39,652 --> 00:13:42,519
Sexual Harassment
in the Workplace!
338
00:13:42,589 --> 00:13:44,921
But first, what
is sexual harassment?
339
00:13:44,991 --> 00:13:47,221
Well, sexual harassment
is the act of
340
00:13:49,729 --> 00:13:51,993
It takes the power away from the
person being harassed and makes
341
00:13:52,265 --> 00:13:54,324
the harasser more
powerful than ever.
342
00:13:54,400 --> 00:13:55,924
I got fucking
peppersprayed.
343
00:13:56,002 --> 00:13:57,993
How, how does that
give me power?
344
00:13:58,238 --> 00:13:59,205
Compliments in the workplace
345
00:13:59,272 --> 00:14:00,705
can easily become misconstrued
346
00:14:00,773 --> 00:14:01,933
and taken as flirtation.
347
00:14:02,008 --> 00:14:03,305
And now, a short example.
348
00:14:03,376 --> 00:14:05,640
In this example, a Klokateer
will be equipped with a
349
00:14:05,712 --> 00:14:07,942
shocking mechanism that will
help guide him into behaving
350
00:14:08,014 --> 00:14:09,003
properly at work.
351
00:14:09,282 --> 00:14:10,249
Is that a new belt?
352
00:14:10,316 --> 00:14:11,783
Yes. It is.
353
00:14:11,851 --> 00:14:13,614
It looks very good.
354
00:14:13,686 --> 00:14:14,948
Saying that your
belt looks good
355
00:14:15,021 --> 00:14:16,886
can be taken as a
sexual advance.
356
00:14:16,956 --> 00:14:18,480
Let's try that again.
357
00:14:18,558 --> 00:14:19,525
Is that a new belt?
358
00:14:19,592 --> 00:14:20,524
Yes. It is.
359
00:14:20,593 --> 00:14:21,958
That is good
information to have.
360
00:14:22,028 --> 00:14:24,963
Saying something like "that is
good information to have"
361
00:14:25,031 --> 00:14:26,965
could be kind of creepy
and make it seem like
362
00:14:27,033 --> 00:14:28,330
he's compiling information for a
363
00:14:28,935 --> 00:14:29,799
parking lot attack
364
00:14:29,869 --> 00:14:30,767
or home invasion.
365
00:14:30,837 --> 00:14:32,327
And that's harassment!
366
00:14:32,405 --> 00:14:33,963
Ahhh! Fuck!
367
00:14:34,040 --> 00:14:35,564
Cursing in the
workplace can also
368
00:14:35,642 --> 00:14:36,734
make people feel awkward.
369
00:14:36,809 --> 00:14:37,798
Now let's try that again.
370
00:14:37,877 --> 00:14:38,809
Is that a new belt?
371
00:14:38,878 --> 00:14:39,970
Yes it is.
372
00:14:40,046 --> 00:14:41,980
Best to avoid all
those compliments
373
00:14:42,048 --> 00:14:43,913
and continue working.
374
00:14:43,983 --> 00:14:47,817
Now let's watch again without
all those confusing compliments.
375
00:14:49,455 --> 00:14:51,889
Well done. But what if our
klokateer wanted to not make
376
00:14:51,958 --> 00:14:54,051
any compliments but
instead, a fun joke.
377
00:14:57,063 --> 00:14:58,587
Humor is hurtful
and can ruin lives.
378
00:14:58,665 --> 00:14:59,996
We're almost done folks.
379
00:15:00,066 --> 00:15:02,534
We're rounding the corner to
finishing up our sexual
380
00:15:02,602 --> 00:15:05,002
harassment fun marathon!
381
00:15:05,071 --> 00:15:06,698
And now some practical
information.
382
00:15:06,773 --> 00:15:08,365
Do not linger around in
restrooms.
383
00:15:08,441 --> 00:15:10,705
Keep your office door open so
that people can see that
384
00:15:10,777 --> 00:15:12,574
you're clearly not
jacking off in there.
385
00:15:12,645 --> 00:15:13,976
If you get a
boner during work,
386
00:15:14,047 --> 00:15:15,947
best to excuse yourself
and go home!
387
00:15:16,015 --> 00:15:18,006
Here's a list of things to
remember to avoid getting caught
388
00:15:18,084 --> 00:15:20,018
in a tricky
sexual harassment lawsuit.
389
00:15:20,086 --> 00:15:21,075
Here we goooo!
390
00:15:31,064 --> 00:15:33,726
Will this thing
never end?!?!?!
391
00:15:35,101 --> 00:15:37,365
So I'm hearing that the date
went really well...
392
00:15:37,437 --> 00:15:39,029
Congratulations that's 20.
393
00:15:39,105 --> 00:15:41,369
Uhh. First off thanks yous.
394
00:15:41,441 --> 00:15:44,433
Howsever I thinks I may
has been mismatched.
395
00:15:44,510 --> 00:15:47,104
Possibys a mistakes on
your behalfs?
396
00:15:48,014 --> 00:15:49,777
That is impossible Mr. Wartooth.
397
00:15:49,849 --> 00:15:52,875
Welps. I mean. I'm nots totallys
sure I has made a truly solids
398
00:15:52,952 --> 00:15:58,117
connection with hers. And wells,
physicallys-she's uuuuh-
399
00:15:58,391 --> 00:16:00,552
Ah ah ah ah Mr. Wartooth.
400
00:16:00,626 --> 00:16:03,459
You weren't concerned with her
looks it says that right
401
00:16:03,529 --> 00:16:04,860
here on your papers.
402
00:16:04,931 --> 00:16:07,866
Yes dats trues howevers. Le's
backs up a little bits:
403
00:16:07,934 --> 00:16:11,734
Hers personalities-
404
00:16:11,804 --> 00:16:15,865
Her personality is adequate for
your temperament Mr. Wartooth.
405
00:16:15,942 --> 00:16:18,069
Eladymates dot com
guarantees its results.
406
00:16:18,144 --> 00:16:23,548
We suggest that you go back and
concentrate on making this work.
407
00:16:23,616 --> 00:16:24,708
Well buts-
408
00:16:24,784 --> 00:16:26,411
We suggest you go.
409
00:16:26,486 --> 00:16:28,920
Fine! I'll gos and tries
to makes it work
410
00:16:28,988 --> 00:16:30,421
but you know whats?
411
00:16:30,490 --> 00:16:32,151
Dis is Bullshits!
412
00:16:33,793 --> 00:16:36,819
Follow him. And if he fails to
fulfill his end of the contract
413
00:16:36,896 --> 00:16:38,420
hurt one of his loved ones.
414
00:16:38,498 --> 00:16:40,489
And hurt his loved
one where it hurts.
415
00:16:40,566 --> 00:16:41,555
Sir?
416
00:16:41,634 --> 00:16:44,467
Hurt him in his dick.
And his balls.
417
00:16:44,537 --> 00:16:45,902
Which one?
418
00:16:45,972 --> 00:16:48,099
The guy.
419
00:16:48,174 --> 00:16:50,904
Hello, hello, Mrs. Johnson?
420
00:16:50,977 --> 00:16:54,037
Yes this is William Murderface
from Dethklok, the bass player...
421
00:16:54,113 --> 00:16:58,550
I'm offering a one time deal
here only where
422
00:16:58,618 --> 00:17:01,109
I come over and fuck you.
423
00:17:01,187 --> 00:17:03,087
Uh, interested?
424
00:17:03,156 --> 00:17:04,589
Yeah, I fuck you.
425
00:17:04,657 --> 00:17:06,022
Yeah.
426
00:17:06,092 --> 00:17:09,118
No, it's no joke. I'm not
screwing around!
427
00:17:09,195 --> 00:17:13,097
Ok well then could I purchase a
pair of your underwear?
428
00:17:13,166 --> 00:17:14,098
Williams?
429
00:17:14,200 --> 00:17:15,565
Oh, fuck you lady!
430
00:17:15,635 --> 00:17:17,034
Thanks a lot Toki.
431
00:17:17,103 --> 00:17:18,468
I was just about to get laid.
432
00:17:18,538 --> 00:17:19,630
I'm sorrys.
433
00:17:19,705 --> 00:17:22,139
Ah, it's fine. I just- ugh.
434
00:17:22,208 --> 00:17:24,972
Time is almost up with this bet
and I haven't really uh...
435
00:17:25,044 --> 00:17:26,534
(to himself)
436
00:17:26,612 --> 00:17:29,137
I gotta have sex with at least
one girl before it's over...
437
00:17:29,215 --> 00:17:32,673
Can I confides in yous abouts
somethings personals?
438
00:17:32,752 --> 00:17:34,652
Come on. You can trust me.
439
00:17:34,720 --> 00:17:37,780
Dis goils. I don't thinks it ams
workings out and I don't knows
440
00:17:37,857 --> 00:17:39,154
whats to does abouts it!
441
00:17:39,225 --> 00:17:40,556
Have you boned her?
442
00:17:40,626 --> 00:17:41,593
No. But dats de things.
443
00:17:41,661 --> 00:17:42,593
She really wants tos.
444
00:17:42,662 --> 00:17:44,061
So! What the fuck!
445
00:17:44,130 --> 00:17:45,961
I'm sitting here having
the dry spell of my life
446
00:17:46,032 --> 00:17:47,226
and the stakes are high.
447
00:17:47,500 --> 00:17:49,968
And you're just--oooh,
this girl wants to fuck me
448
00:17:50,036 --> 00:17:52,095
and I don't know what to doooo!
449
00:17:52,171 --> 00:17:53,763
I should punch you in the face!
450
00:17:53,840 --> 00:17:55,171
Get the fuck out of my office!
451
00:17:55,241 --> 00:17:56,606
( Door slams )
452
00:17:56,676 --> 00:17:59,702
Ooh! Oh!
Does she have a sister?!!!
453
00:17:59,779 --> 00:18:01,542
So this girl wants
to get it on with you.
454
00:18:01,614 --> 00:18:02,672
On de fifteenth.
455
00:18:02,748 --> 00:18:04,181
Why is that important?
456
00:18:04,250 --> 00:18:07,117
That's when she says she ams
ovulating and thats chances ams
457
00:18:07,186 --> 00:18:09,984
high for whats
to be pregnants.
458
00:18:10,056 --> 00:18:11,956
So she wants to have
planned sex with you?
459
00:18:12,024 --> 00:18:16,256
Sex designed to procreate.
Ugh. Fucking gross.
460
00:18:16,496 --> 00:18:18,191
You can't tell me
when to have a boner.
461
00:18:18,264 --> 00:18:19,925
That's MY business!
462
00:18:19,999 --> 00:18:21,557
And you know what else?
463
00:18:21,634 --> 00:18:24,102
Dis is whats she looks like.
464
00:18:24,170 --> 00:18:25,194
Oh boy.
465
00:18:25,271 --> 00:18:27,705
She looks like a gorilla
whats been shaved.
466
00:18:27,773 --> 00:18:29,172
Yeah. Well, you're
in the hot seat.
467
00:18:29,242 --> 00:18:30,903
Look, you want advice?
I got some for you.
468
00:18:30,977 --> 00:18:35,676
When the fifteenth comes you
just gotta to listen. Right?
469
00:18:35,748 --> 00:18:37,045
Listens?
470
00:18:37,116 --> 00:18:38,708
You need to listen
to your dick Toki.
471
00:18:38,784 --> 00:18:41,617
Your dick will tell you exactly
what you need to do.
472
00:18:41,687 --> 00:18:44,155
Alright?
Listen to your dick.
473
00:18:44,223 --> 00:18:45,952
Yeah.
Listen to your dick.
474
00:18:46,025 --> 00:18:47,856
Listens to my dick!
475
00:18:47,927 --> 00:18:51,829
And also, don't ever get into a
room you can't get out of.
476
00:19:30,770 --> 00:19:31,828
( knocks on door )
477
00:19:34,840 --> 00:19:36,239
Hi.
478
00:19:36,342 --> 00:19:37,741
Hi.
479
00:19:37,810 --> 00:19:39,334
I went ahead and purchased some
non animal lubricant in case
480
00:19:39,579 --> 00:19:41,342
my vagina refuses
to self lubricate.
481
00:19:41,581 --> 00:19:43,776
Oh. Good thinkings.
482
00:19:43,849 --> 00:19:45,840
In the bathroom you'll find some
medical penis soap.
483
00:19:45,918 --> 00:19:47,351
I'd appreciate if you scrubbed
down your penis.
484
00:19:47,587 --> 00:19:48,884
Twice.
485
00:19:48,955 --> 00:19:50,616
Oh.
486
00:19:50,690 --> 00:19:51,884
What?
487
00:19:51,958 --> 00:19:52,982
You will?
488
00:19:53,059 --> 00:19:54,253
With me?
489
00:19:54,327 --> 00:19:55,624
Yeah I know that hotel!
490
00:19:56,295 --> 00:19:59,264
You'll let me video tape it??
Fuck yeah, man!
491
00:19:59,365 --> 00:20:00,798
See you then!
492
00:20:00,866 --> 00:20:03,300
Oh fuck yes!
I'm gonna get laid.
493
00:20:03,369 --> 00:20:05,701
Oh, thank you Craigslist!!!
494
00:20:11,010 --> 00:20:14,912
Stupid medicines-smellings
penis soaps.
495
00:20:14,981 --> 00:20:16,312
It's gross.
496
00:20:16,382 --> 00:20:19,112
( chipmunk voice squeaks )
Toki...
497
00:20:19,185 --> 00:20:20,311
Who ams dis?
498
00:20:20,386 --> 00:20:22,718
It's me. Your dick.
499
00:20:22,788 --> 00:20:25,382
Pickle told me to
listens to you!
500
00:20:25,658 --> 00:20:27,387
Toki.
You must listen to me.
501
00:20:27,660 --> 00:20:30,629
We can't have sex with that
woman in the other room.
502
00:20:30,696 --> 00:20:32,926
But we has to.
Or we will gets in trouble!
503
00:20:32,999 --> 00:20:34,728
Then you may as
well chop me off.
504
00:20:34,800 --> 00:20:36,392
I'm talking about
saving your life.
505
00:20:36,669 --> 00:20:40,765
If you have sex with that woman
you will be miserable forever.
506
00:20:40,840 --> 00:20:43,331
( Echo on )
'ever.'
507
00:20:43,409 --> 00:20:45,400
Toki?
Why aren't you undressed?
508
00:20:45,678 --> 00:20:49,273
I'm gettings out of heres. I'm
listenings to my dicks this time
509
00:20:49,348 --> 00:20:51,339
and it says don'ts
gets near you!
510
00:20:51,417 --> 00:20:53,214
You get over here and engage
in intercourse with me!
511
00:20:53,285 --> 00:20:54,411
It's the fifteenth!
512
00:20:54,687 --> 00:20:58,350
I don't care what numbers it is,
I'm not going to dos it!
513
00:20:58,424 --> 00:20:59,982
I don't think so!
514
00:21:00,059 --> 00:21:03,756
Don't ever get into a room
you can't get out of.
515
00:21:09,435 --> 00:21:12,802
He didn't fulfil
his end of the deal.
516
00:21:12,872 --> 00:21:15,966
That's right,
classic date.
517
00:21:16,042 --> 00:21:19,375
Knock on the ole door...
pull out your dick!
518
00:21:19,445 --> 00:21:21,345
OWWWWW!
519
00:21:24,917 --> 00:21:27,078
I can'ts believes I wons.
520
00:21:27,153 --> 00:21:28,950
I only had sex withs
about four hundreds goils
521
00:21:29,021 --> 00:21:30,352
in likes two weeks.
522
00:21:30,423 --> 00:21:31,720
And I wasn't even trying.
523
00:21:31,791 --> 00:21:32,758
Yeah but we never
got those final
524
00:21:32,825 --> 00:21:34,383
numbers back from Murderface.
525
00:21:34,460 --> 00:21:37,122
Hey Murderface, how
many girls you sleep with?
526
00:21:37,196 --> 00:21:38,390
None.
527
00:21:38,464 --> 00:21:39,396
What's that?
528
00:21:39,465 --> 00:21:41,399
I said fucking none!
529
00:21:41,467 --> 00:21:43,367
I would've won if my
dick weren't broken
530
00:21:43,436 --> 00:21:45,165
and splayed.
531
00:21:45,237 --> 00:21:47,034
Not a level
playing field.
532
00:21:47,106 --> 00:21:48,232
Well there you go.
533
00:21:48,307 --> 00:21:49,899
Yahs.
Anybodies seens Tokis?
534
00:21:49,975 --> 00:21:52,443
I think he's finally
celebrating his birthday.
535
00:21:52,712 --> 00:21:55,180
Dis ams a
greats dates ladies.
536
00:21:55,247 --> 00:21:57,044
And nows I ams
pulls out my dick.
537
00:21:57,094 --> 00:22:01,644
Repair and Synchronization by
Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0
38479
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bengali
Bosnian
Bulgarian
Catalan
Cebuano
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Finnish
French
Frisian
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Gujarati
Haitian Creole
Hawaiian
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Khmer
Korean
Kurdish (Kurmanji)
Kyrgyz
Lao
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Polish
Portuguese
Romanian
Russian
Samoan
Serbian
Sesotho
Shona
Sinhala
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swahili
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Turkish
Ukrainian
Urdu
Uzbek
Vietnamese
