All language subtitles for For the Love of Mary (1948) REMUX.eng

I'm sorry, Your Excellency.

I'll have to verify
your appointment

before I can pass you through.

You'll have to pull over.

- Hi, Mac.
- Morning, Mary.

Did you save me a parking space?

Right at the head
of the line.

Thanks.

- Good morning, officer.
- Just a moment.

Where do you think you're going?

To work. Here's my pass.

Employees use the West
Executive Avenue entrance.

Oh, but I always
come in this way.

Yes, but beginning today,
you're an employee

and employees use
the employees' entrance.

You know, officer,
I have a lot of influence.

My father's quite a big shot
around here.

Young lady, rules are rules.

- And no exceptions.
- And no exceptions.

- Good morning, Mary.
- Oh, good morning, Harkey.

- Having trouble, Tim?
- A little.

I wish you'd give the new girls
in your department

a rundown on the rules
around here.

With you for a father, I'm sure
this one knows them backwards.

Dad, you're in a rut. What
you need is a change of climate.

Now why don't you try a few
weeks at the south entrance?

- Young lady, I...
- Bye, Tim.

See you for dinner, dad.

Mary, my new girls usually get
an indoctrination speech

almost as long as
a congressional record.

- Must we, Harkey?
- Glory be, no.

After a couple of years
at the Supreme Court,

I'm sure you know the duties
and responsibilities of the job.

There's one thing
I must stress though.

That's the need
for absolute secrecy.

Anything you might overhear
is a solemn trust.

- I understand.
- I'll wire them for you...

- I'm sorry, sir, he hasn't...
- I haven't...

Well, here she is, girls.

The ex-voice
of the Supreme Court.

- Hi.
- Welcome to the family.

Hello, Mary.

Pull up a switchboard
and sit down.

- Thanks.
- White House, please.

I don't think
I'll have much trouble, Harkey.

The boards are the same
general type I've been using.

Except that here,
more is expected of you

than merely handling
the switchboards.

Besides memorizing
hundreds of numbers,

you've got to be a combination
of diplomat and detective.

Ready to decide instantly
which calls

are legitimate
and which of 'em cranks.

Senator Downs
is in Istanbul.

Shall I try to get him
for you, sir?

You have to locate people
in all parts of the world.

Some who haven't been
heard from in years

and often under
almost impossible conditions.

White House.

One moment, sir.

- It's him again.
- Old faithful, on the dot.

What'll I tell him this time?

I've run out of polite phrases
for go jump in the lake.

Tell him... no.

Mary, you might as well
start now as later.

There's a Mr. Paxton
on the line.

He's been pestering us for days

trying to get through
to the president.

We've instructions
to kill his call

at the board, but he takes
a lot of killing.

- Well, I... I'd...
- Now go ahead now.

Let's see what sort
of a diplomat you are.

- It's all yours.
- White House. Thank you.

May I help you, please?

Well, isn't there someone
besides the president

who can take care of it?

Uh, may I enquire
the nature of your business?

Fish?

Oh, but I'm sure
that they have a fish market

where they trade, Mr. Paxton.

My dear lady, I don't sell fish.
I study them.

I'm an ichthyologist.

Oh, an ichthyologist.

Uh, may I suggest
that you communicate

with the Fish and Wildlife
section

of the Department
of the Interior.

Now why would a man
get so upset about fish?

Maybe they're spoiling.

White House.

No, Mr. Paxton,
I did not cut you off.

Look, miss, every year,
like a clock, I pay my taxes.

I'm a citizen in good standing.

And the president is supposed
to be a servant of the people.

Oh, I know that the president
is the servant of the people.

And if he's a servant
of the people,

he's supposed to be available
when the people need him.

Well, I'm one of the people.

Now will you, please,
put my call through?

Well, um, why don't you try
writing to your congressman?

Well, t... there must be someone

who can help you
without bothering the president.

Well?

He says he has more nickels
than a slot machine

and he's going to get through
to the president

if he goes broke trying.

I think he should be reported
to the Secret Service.

There's no law
against phoning the president.

I'll get rid of that
guppy grower once and for all.

- Mary, no. Not that one.
- Why not?

Listen.

Good morning, Mr. President.

Yes, Mr. President.
London will call back at 10:15.

You're welcome, Mr. President.

This is the president's
private extension.

Of course, he may call
on anyone of the other 185.

But when that little light
goes on,

it's always the president.

I see.

Call for you, Mary, on trunk 5.

Justice Hastings
at the Supreme Court.

Uh-oh, here comes
a dissenting opinion.

Hello, Justice Hastings.

Mary, what's my daughter's
phone number in Texas?

What time do I take my pills?

And what the devil
are you doing over there?

Thackerville 318, ring 2.

The white pills at 11:00,
the brown pills at 4:00.

And I'm working
on the switchboard.

That's what I heard,
and it doesn't make much sense.

You walked out on the
switchboard to marry Phillip.

Now I learn you've walked out
on marrying Phillip

to go back to a switchboard.

That's idiotic
even for young people.

Uh, w... well, uh,
can't we talk about it later?

I can meet you at Gustav's.

Dad and I
are having dinner there.

Goodbye, Justice Hastings.

Uh, wasn't that sweet of him?

He just wanted to call
and wish me luck.

Mary, you did give them notice
when you left the Supreme Court.

I wouldn't want them to think
I lured you away.

Oh, it's nothing like that.

Mary, for you.
Justice Peabody on 5.

- White House. Yes, please.
- One moment, please.

Yes, I'll take care
of it right away.

Hello, Justice Peabody.

Mary, your decision
not to marry Phillip.

Is your own business

and I'd be the last one
to interfere.

Thank you, Justice Peabody.

It was very nice of you
to call to tell me so.

But clarification
with a misunderstanding

is not interference.

And I happen to know
that Phillip's explanation

of what happened the other
evening is the absolute truth.

It's no use, Your Honor,
I've been through all that...

Now just let me handle this,
Phillip.

That Wentworth girl is a witness
in an important government case

and Phillip was out with her
strictly in his capacity

as an attorney
for the Justice Department.

Justice Peabody,
the fact that Phillip was out

with Miss Wentworth
is immaterial, irrelevant

and has no bearing on the case.
I'm still not getting married.

I... I know, but...

Y... yes, but...

Mr. Justice, can't we discuss it
some other time?

Tonight at Gustav's. Goodbye.

Mary, I'm afraid
there's one point I overlooked.

White House operators
are always on call.

Therefore
as a matter of practice,

we never hire
young married women.

So if there's any possibility

of your getting married
in the near future...

Oh, but there isn't.

I'm sure everyone's convinced
of that by now.

Well, it didn't sound that way.

Believe me, Harkey, that's
the last we'll hear of it.

Mary, for you.
Justice Van Sloan.

Rules are rules, and we're not

supposed to receive
any personal calls.

That's all I received all day.

It's a wonder my first day at
the White House wasn't my last.

Oh, fine.

Now we're back
to the hiccups again.

I thought
you were all calmed down.

I'm perfectly calm.

And when we get inside,
I'll be even calmer.

Sure, you will.

- Oh, hold it, dad.
- Hm?

See if Phillip's in there,
will you?

He's there. Now what?

Mm, let's just wait
a few seconds

to be sure
there are no more stray hiccups.

Phillip knows I only get them
when I'm emotionally upset

and I don't want him to think
I'm upset on account of him.

Stop worrying, Gustav.

The examination is quite simple.

Thousands of people
have passed it.

And you've still got four days.

I know, Your Honorship,
but just to answer

the questions,
that's not enough for me.

I... I would like to know
everything

about becoming a citizen.
It's my ambition.

- Uh, where are we?
- Uh, Section 7, Article 2.

Oh, when the bill
shall have passed the Senate

and the House
of Representatives,

it shall,
before it becomes a law,

be presented to...

The president
of the United States,

Justice Peabody.

And if he approves it,
he shall, uh...

Sign it, Justice Williams.

But if not,
he shall...

- Return it, Justice Hastings.
- With what?

With his objections,
Justice Van Sloan.

Where to?

To the house where
it originated, Justice Mannings,

I mean, Justice Phillip,
I mean, Phillip.

A perfect score, Gustav.

Would you like
to track the devil?

- Mary.
- Oh, please, don't get up.

Well, how's my favorite
future citizen this evening?

And my favorite four knights
of the Supreme Court?

- Splendid, Mary.
- Don't I rate a hello?

Of course, Phillip.
How are you?

Mary,
after you've had your dinner,

we'd like to have
that little talk with you.

Oh, Mr. Justice,
I know what you want to say

and I know it's because
you want to help me.

You've always helped me.

All of you.

But this time
I have to make my own decision

and I'm not going
to marry Phillip.

- But, Mary...
- Mary...

Mm, something smells good.
What is it, Gustav?

Hasenpfeffer a la Gustav.
My specialty.

I think I'll go and see if
it looks as good as it smells.

Well, Phillip, you might as well
tear up the license.

Oh, no, I'm going in there

and get this straightened out
right now.

Wait, Phillip. First,
she must be in the right mood.

Let me handle it.
I know Mary.

Well, looks like
Mary, Gustav, and I

will make a very happy couple.

Igor, give me some music,
something romantic.

- How 'bout "The Charter?"
- Oh, that's happy romantic.

Something sad romantic.

I want the violin to cry and...

- What's that?
- Gansebraten with spaetzle.

Extra good today, Miss Mary.

- I put a lotta love into it.
- That's for dad and me.

You're not going to have
the hasenpfeffer a la Gustav?

I made it especially
for the judges and you.

Oh, well, I was...

You better stick
to my gansebraten, Miss Mary.

He put too much pfeffer
in the hasenpfeffer.

Too much pfeffer?
Just enough pfeffer.

- Too much!
- I say, just enough!

Now, listen, Bertha,
who is Viennese here? You or I?

Gustav, we'll have
a little of each, huh?

- Oh, that's beautiful.
- Yeah.

That's for Justice Peabody's
birthday party tomorrow night.

But never mind the party.

Mary, I can't stand
to see you so unhappy.

What are you talking about? I've
never been happier in my life.

A lover's quarrel.
Ah, such a sad thing.

Especially when the lovers
are in love.

But there wasn't
any lover's quarrel.

From Gustav you can't hide.

Usually, my Mary's so happy,
so gay.

Believe me...

Ah, so that's the reason
for the weeping fiddles.

Gustav, if it'll convince
anyone how happy I am,

I'll dance, sing
or even stand on my head.

Alright, now, Igor,
we've all had a good cry.

Play something cheerful.

Phillip, now is the time.

Tactful but firm, my boy.

Hasenpfeffer a la Gustav,
gansebraten a la Bertha.

And we better like both of them.

- Mind if I join you?
- Of course not.

Oh, excuse me.

I... I just remembered something
I've got to tell Gustav.

The subtle touch.

In case you don't get it,
he wants us to be alone.

Mary, I'm sorry
about all those phone calls...

Let's forget it, Phillip.

There is too much pepper.

I merely mentioned the situation

to the justices this morning.

I didn't want them
to call you, but...

Well, your attitude
is so ridiculous.

It's not ridiculous.

Jealousy is always ridiculous.

For three days,
I've been trying to tell you

the reason
we're not getting married

is because I wasn't jealous.

- That's even more ridiculous.
- No, it isn't.

Look, Phillip, when
people have known each other

for a long time and have had
a lot of dates together,

they're apt to become
a habit with each other.

I didn't realize
that's what had happened to us

until I saw you
with Miss Wentworth

and discovered I wasn't
the least bit annoyed.

What's that supposed to prove?

Just this.
A woman shouldn't marry a man.

If she isn't at least
a little bit upset

when he breaks a date with her
and goes out

with another woman,
a beautiful woman.

And at the time, I didn't even
know it was a business date.

Mary,
that's a defense mechanism.

An unconscious manifestation
of your jealousy.

Please, Phillip.
I've had a rough day.

The justices,
Gustav, you, Paxton...

Paxton? I didn't talk to anyone
named Paxton.

Well, I did, 23 times.

He insisted upon speaking
to the president.

All day long it was,
"Yes, Mr. Paxton.

No, Mr. Paxton.
I'm sorry, Mr. Paxton.

No, you may not speak to him,
Mr. Paxton."

I was dying to say you are
a pain in the neck, Mr. Paxton.

If it were up to me, I...

Young lady, do you know the
meaning of the word bumbledom?

Bumbledom, young lady, is the
pomposity of petty officials.

Little people in little jobs

who think the world will stop
turning without them.

I... I beg your pardon?

You at your switchboard

thinking that you have the right
to decide

who may or may not speak
to the president.

The fish peddler?

For the tenth time, miss,

I am not a fish peddler.

And for the tenth time,
Mr. Paxton,

the president
of the United States

is not interested in fish.

- Paxton?
- How do you do?

The president is interested
in his navy, isn't he?

Well, what's the navy
got to do with it?

- Now look here...
- Quiet, please.

It's his navy
that won't let me get

near Cocopango Atoll
to study my fish.

Is what you just said
intelligible to you, Mr. Paxton?

Of course, it is.

Well, then there's someone
who can help you

a lot more than the president.

- Who?
- A psychiatrist.

Uh, miss, as an ardent admirer

of the female sex,
may I say, without a doubt,

that you are
the most insufferable specimen

it has ever been my misfortune
to encounter?

- You've said just about enough.
- That's all I intend to say.

Except for one more thing,
Miss Number Please.

I'll get through
to the president

in spite of you
and your bumbledom.

Mary, who was that?

That's a man who's gonna spend

the rest of his life
in a telephone booth.

- Hi, Mac.
- Morning, Mary.

- How's the parking situation?
- Pretty good.

You won't have any trouble
this early.

Hello.

If you're selling mackerel,
I don't want any.

I've been waiting around
to tell you

how sorry I am about last night.

Alright, you're sorry.
Now, if you'll pardon me...

My behavior was inexcusable.

I couldn't sleep all night
thinking about it.

Perhaps you better go home now
and try to get some sleep.

This is to tell you
how sorry I am

and, uh, this is to ask you
to forgive me.

Oh, Mr. Paxton,
you didn't have to do this.

Oh, I insist.
I'll feel much better

if you accept these slight
tokens of my genuine repentance.

Well, alright
and thank you.

- Uh, forgiven?
- Forgiven.

I feel
much better already.

Now, miss, uh, if you could...

- Friends?
- Friends.

Then couldn't you, just once,

put my call through
to the president?

Mr. Paxton, I have never been
an admirer of the male sex,

but may I say, without a doubt,
you are the most underhanded,

presumptuous specimen
it has ever been

my misfortune to encounter.

- Good morning, Mary.
- Hello, Hilda.

- I know that isn't a hangover.
- No.

I'm just a little upset about
something. I'll be alright.

Do you think you could handle
the board for a few minutes?

Oh, I think so.

There won't be
any action.

It's much too early.
I'll be right back.

White House.

Well, I'm sorry, madam,

but the egg rolling
is only on Easter Sunday.

You're welcome.

Good morning, Mr. President.

Oh, oh, I... I'm terribly sorry,
sir.

They started
about ten minutes ago.

Thank you, Mr. President,
I'll try that.

Right now?

Alright, sir.

Gesundheit, Mr. President.

Now don't you worry about me.
I'll be alright.

Gesundheit again, Mr. President.

Dr. Andrews?
Yes, right away, sir.

Will you, please, tell
Dr. Andrews

the president wants to see him
immediately?

Dr. Andrews?
Is the president sick?

- Oh, it's nothing serious.
- Just a cold.

Did you ever try
standing on your head?

Only in slacks.

Hilda, did you just take

the president's call
to Dr. Andrews?

No, sir. It was our new girl,
Miss Peppertree.

- Tim's daughter?
- Yes, Sir.

Fine. I'm Harvey Elwood,
secretary to the president.

Yes, I know, Mr. Elwood.

I've seen you many times.

With the president's
compliments.

It's for your hiccups.

You just breathe into the bag
a couple of times.

The president says
when everything else fails,

this is absolutely surefire.

Oh, thank you, Mr. Elwood.

Please
thank the president.

Tell him I think
it's awfully sweet of him.

Sweet?

Oh, yes, of course.

And I'll give him
your exact words.

Awfully sweet.

Morning, Marge. Morning, Hilda.

Mary, what in the world
are you doing?

Oh, it's a hiccup cure.

It worked.

For you, Mary.
It's the president.

Yes, Mr. President.

Oh, they're all gone now.
Thank you.

How's your cold?

Oh, that's a shame.

If I were you, I'd take
some Irish moss and aspirin.

That's right, Mr. President.

My grandmother
always made us take it

and it worked like a charm.

Don't mention it, Mr. President.

Senator Ellis? Yes, right away.

- Gee, the president's nice.
- Irish moss?

Mary, I've been working
that board for 15 years

and I never got that chummy
with the vice president.

You can stay on the board.
Your probation's over.

Oh, thanks, Harkey.
That's wonderful.

White House.

Phillip, you promised
not to call me here.

I know, Mary,
but I have to find out

what time to pick you up
for Justice Peabody's party.

I don't want you to call for me.

I know you take me every year,
but if I go with you tonight,

we'll be right back
where we started.

Hold the line a minute, Phillip.

White House.

I beg your pardon, sir?

This is
Monsieur LaHave

of the French Embassy.

You will permit me, please,
to speak with the president?

- No?
- No, Mr. Paxton, I will not.

Phillip?

Oh, I thought
I disconnected you.

Now, look, Phillip,
if we show up together tonight,

everybody is gonna start playing
the "Wedding March" again.

I... Hold it, Phillip.

White House.

General who of what army?

Mr. Paxton, I said no.

Phillip? Now you know I wanna go
to Justice Peabody's party.

I've been to every one
since I was a baby.

But under the circumstances,
I can't go with you

and I'd rather not go alone,
so I'm afraid

I'll just have to stay home.

I haven't time to argue
with you now. Goodbye.

Mary, have you been talking
to the president again?

No. Why?

Well, you're still cut in
on his line.

Listen, young fella,
if you as much as make

one move
towards the president's car,

you'll be up to your ears
in Secret Service men.

Look, I only wanna talk to him.

Ever try using a telephone?

Oh, that's all
I've been doing for days.

Miss, will you, please,
tell this man

how many times I've tried
to call the president?

You know this man,
Miss Peppertree?

I guess so, in a way.
I mean, I've met him, but I...

Well, if he's a friend of yours,
you better get him outta here.

- Come on now, take it easy...
- I'm about to get home...

Now get him away
before he winds up in trouble.

You can get out here,
Mr. Paxton.

You think I'm a little crack,
don't you?

If I could talk to you
for just five minutes,

I'd convince you
I have a legitimate reason

for seeing the president.

Look, Mr. Paxton,
what I think of you

or your complaint
is of absolutely no importance.

If you're on
that White House switchboard,

you must know your way around.

Maybe you can tell me how I go
about getting to the president.

I...

Maybe I can.

How would you like to talk
to the president's secretary?

No soap.
I've already talked to three.

Oh, this is Mr. Elwood.

His executive
administrative assistant.

Why, he can arrange for you
to speak to the president...

like that.

Well, that's great.

How soon can you arrange for him
to do... like that?

Like that. But first,
you have to do me a favor.

I might have known.

- What kind of a favor?
- Oh, it's nothing much.

All you have to do is
take me to a party tonight.

- What kind of a party?
- It's a very nice party.

You don't have to act as if
you're getting a tooth pulled.

- Well...
- Well, don't rush me.

I've gotta figure out
all the angles.

There are no angles.

Okay.

What time do I pick you up
and where?

8:30.327 Walnut.

Now where do you live?
I'll drop you off.

Hotel Puriton,
but don't bother. I'll walk.

According to our agreement,

our date doesn't begin
until 8:30.

Come in, dad.

There is a young man downstairs.

He says he's taking you
to the party.

- That's good. I'm all ready.
- But it's not Phillip.

Since when is Phillip the only
living member of the male sex?

Goodnight, dad.
Don't wait up for me.

- Miss Peppertree?
- Yes.

I'm Lieutenant
Thomas Farrington.

I'm escorting you
to Justice Peabody's party.

Oh, but there must be
some mistake.

No, Miss Peppertree.

I'm a naval aide
at the White House

and I'm here
at the president's request.

I don't understand.

Oh, yes, I do.

Oh, I'm afraid there's been
a misunderstanding, lieutenant.

You see, I got on the
president's phone by mistake

and he thinks I'm staying home
alone tonight.

But I've already made
other arrangements.

Well, Miss Peppertree,
in my position,

A presidential request
is an order

and I've been ordered
to take you to the party.

Am I to inform the president
that you refused?

Oh, no, no,
that would be terrible.

I mean, I'm not refusing it...

Well, to tell you
the truth, lieutenant,

I was going to the party tonight
to prove something.

This just spoils everything.

Well, as long as I'm on orders,
miss, you just order

and I'll help you
prove anything you want.

Oh, dad, I'd like to have you
meet Lieutenant Farrington.

I thought you looked familiar,
lieutenant.

Farrington, Thomas J.

Pass number H-347942.

Assigned to the White House
three weeks ago.

Dad, there will be a Mr. Paxton
calling for me.

Just tell him I'm awfully sorry,

but that I had to leave
for the party without him.

- Goodnight, sir.
- Goodnight.

Age, 30. Born in Virginia.

Height, 5'11".

Not bad, Timothy. Not bad.

Next question.

In how many ways
do bills become laws?

In three ways.
Salami, baloney, chopped liver.

By majority vote of both houses

and the signature
of the president.

Turkey, mustard.
By a two-third majority vote

over the president's veto.

Chicken, marinated herring.

By the president
keeping the bill for ten days.

- And liverwurst.
- Good.

Now who is... Gustav.

Gustav, that's me.

Good evening.

- Who's that with Mary?
- I don't know.

I know every one of her friends,
but this friend is a stranger.

Many happy returns, Mr. Justice.

- Thank you, Mary.
- Good evening, Mrs. Peabody.

Uh, Justice Peabody,
Mrs. Peabody,

may I present
Lieutenant Farrington.

- How do you do?
- How do you do, Mr. Justice?

I'm sure you'll excuse us,
but there are so many people

I want Tom to meet.

Certainly.

Well, I never saw him before.

Justice Hastings,
Justice Van Sloan,

may I present a very dear
friend, Lieutenant Farrington.

- How do you do, Mr. Justice?
- How do you do?

- Mr. Justice.
- Lieutenant Farrington.

Isn't it
a simply wonderful party?

- Delightful.
- Why, yes.

I've got a hunch there's going
to be an emergency session

of the Supreme Court
at any minute.

How am I doing,
Miss Peppertree?

Fine, but you better start
calling me Mary.

Okay, Mary.

Say, uh, which one is Phillip?

Over there
in front of the buffet table.

Mm. Little on the heavy side,
isn't he?

Don't be funny. That's Gustav.

Never mind Mary.
What's the next question?

Never mind the next question.

On your toes, Tom. Here comes
the fact-finding committee.

Hello, Phillip.

I'm glad you changed your mind
about coming, Mary.

So am I.
It's a very nice party.

Yes, it is.

Everyone seems to be
having so much fun.

Yes, they do.

Uh, it's even nicer
than last year.

Yes, it is.

Oh, oh, I'm sorry.
You haven't met Tom, have you?

Lieutenant Farrington,
this is Mr. Manning.

- How are you?
- How do you do, lieutenant?

- Nice party, isn't it?
- Yes, it is.

Everyone seems to be
having so much fun.

Yes, they do.

It's even nicer than last year.

Yes, it is.

Warm, isn't it?

Oh, may I get you a cold drink?

Would you get me one, too,
Manning?

My, uh, trick knee
is bothering me.

What is this about a trick knee?

Oh, just a little something
I whipped up

in the spur of the moment.

How 'bout changing
to a more comfortable seat?

Thank you.

Excellent maneuvering,
lieutenant.

One of the first things
I learned in the navy.

- Elementary navigation.
- Here we are, Mary.

Very considerate of you,
Manning.

Very clever of you, lieutenant.

Nice fella, that Manning.

Nice fellow, that lieutenant.

- Real smart.
- Not so smart.

- Mr. Justice?
- Yes?

Isn't it about time our music
depreciation group got rolling?

Son, we were just beginning
to get a mite worried

that nobody would ask us.

I hope you brought
your guitar, colonel.

You know I did, sir.

That guitar has been
my campaign weapon for years.

I'd feel mighty naked
without it.

And by an odd coincident,

I had my accordion tuned
this afternoon.

- Mrs. Peabody.
- Sure.

Mary, this is the nicest chore
I've had

since I've been in the navy.

First thing tomorrow, I'm gonna
thank the president personally.

- Well, you tell him from me...
- Justice Williams?

Justice Van Sloan?

Bet I get an invitation
to sing in ten seconds.

- Oh, Mary?
- Two seconds flat.

Lieutenant, I'm on.

Sorry to drag you away
from the navy,

but I reckon we need a soprano
more than he does.

Are you sure you did
the reckoning, colonel?

Now, Olivia, no hot licks.

This accordion isn't as young
as it used to be.

What'll it be, the same thing
we always start with?

Alright. One, two...

Uh, wait a minute, Mary.
Let's do, uh, "Kathleen."

That was great.

And, Manning, you've got
an excellent voice.

Oh, thank you, lieutenant.

Say, how about, uh,
"Let Me Call You Sweetheart?"

And Mr. Manning
can take the lead.

- No, I'd rather not.
- Oh, sure.

- Why not?
- After all, this is a quartet...

Oh, come on, son.
We're just getting started.

There's a lot more
I'd like to find out about you.

Let's get back to our loveseat.

- Mr. Litchfield.
- Good evening, Thomas.

I didn't know
you were going to be here, sir.

That's quite obvious.

Oh, uh, Miss Peppertree,

may I present
Mr. Samuel Litchfield.

It's a great pleasure, sir.

I read your newspaper
every morning.

I'm delighted to hear it.

Doris is quite disturbed
that you couldn't keep

your date this evening.

An errand for the president,
I understand?

Well, that's quite true,
Mr. Litchfield. You see, I...

Mary, will you excuse us
for a moment?

I had every intention
of keeping the date, sir.

Mary, everyone here
is talking about you

and that, that sailor.

- Are they really, Phillip?
- You know they are.

Who is he, anyway?

Oh, well,
he's at the White House.

And you know how we are
at the White House.

Just one big happy family.

Well, I don't like him.

Then I'll tell you
what to do, Phillip.

Don't go out with him.

Mary, would you mind terribly
if we left?

But it's so early, Tom.

I know,
but it's very important.

Oh, well, in that case, I'm sure
the Peabodys will forgive...

And I'm sure
Mr. Manning will too.

Wasn't this a stroke
of genius, Mary?

I wonder if Mr. Litchfield
would think so.

Ah, moonlight
and cherry blossoms.

- Tom, who's Doris?
- Doris?

Oh, an old coal miner
I met in a mineshaft.

- There we were...
- Blond or brunette?

It varies.

Tom, did you have a date
with her this evening?

Ah, moonlight
and cherry blossoms.

You did have a date with her.

Oh, now, Mary, you know
how it is in a town like this.

You go out with a girl
a few times,

everybody starts building it
into a big romance.

Is that how it is
with you and Doris?

That's how it is.

Only I didn't catch on
until Mr. Five Star

finally asked me
how I'd like to quit the navy

and go
into the newspaper business.

And the lieutenant no like, huh?

No like. I'm allergic
to permanent shore duty.

I wanna get back to sea.

I don't care whether it's on
a battle wagon or a war canoe.

Then how did you happen
to wind up at the White House?

Mr. Litchfield. He wanted
to make sure I'd be around.

The worst part of it is
it's a full year's assignment

and I've still got
11 months to go.

Oh, that is a long time.

Depends on whose company
I spend it in.

Must be getting close
to 19 bells, admiral,

or whatever you call it
in the navy,

when it's time for a working
girl to be going home.

It's been
a wonderful evening, Tom.

Thanks for everything.

What are you grinning about?

I was thinking how I tried

to get out of this assignment

and how swell
it turned out to be.

Tom, do me a favor, will you?

Name it.

Kiss me goodnight.

Okay, I'm still on orders.

Kissing her
right under our noses.

I've got to find out
more about that young man.

Wait till I get me shoes.

- Why, thank you.
- And I thank you.

I thank the president.
And I thank you.

Very smart, Mary,
that ought to prove to them

that Phillip's a dead duck.

- Thanks again, Tom. Goodnight.
- Goodnight.

Mary, you proved
something to me too.

I'll be around tomorrow
to pick up where we left off.

Strictly on a personal basis.

Hi.

What are you doing here?

I thought you two
would never break it up.

Well, I hope you got an earful,
you, you peeping Tom.

Oh, look, Miss Peppertree,

I didn't come here
for the floor show.

We had a date tonight, remember?

Oh, well, I'm sorry about that,
but it couldn't be helped.

I know, the navy came along.

Well, that's not so,
Mr. Paxton.

You see, originally,
I was supposed

to go out with somebody else.

That's right, me.

No, not you, somebody else.

Well, good going.

You stood up somebody else
to make a date with me,

then stood me up
to go out with a sailor.

A double double-cross.

If you'll stop jumping
at conclusions,

I'll try to tell you
what happened.

Don't bother. The date
doesn't interest me at all.

I merely waited to show you
that I was living up

to my part of the bargain.

And I'm willing
to live up to mine.

We can get together
sometime tomorrow.

Skip it.
Judging from past performances,

I don't think
you're the dependable type.

Between now and tomorrow,

you're liable to run
into a marine.

I insist that you let me
tell you what happened.

It's perfectly obvious.

You just figured
that you could do better.

And, uh,
while we're on the subject,

you could have done
just as well with me.

It's a different one.

Goodnight, Miss Peppertree.

The general is in Alaska,

but I can put you through
to his aide.

Your appointment has been
changed to 3 o'clock, sir.

Call for you, Mary.
The president on 1.

Good morning, Mr. President.

Oh, yes, I had a lovely time.
Thank you.

Oh, he was very nice
and considerate.

It was most thoughtful of you,
Mr. President.

Thank you very much.

I'll give him your message.

Listen, girls,
if Mr. Paxton calls,

let me take it, will you?

I was wondering
what was missing.

Eleven o'clock and
Brother Paxton hasn't called.

Eleven o'clock.
Time for coffee relief.

Right away, sir.

Oh, if Mr. Paxton calls
while I'm out,

ask him to call back.

Ask him to call back.
Is she kidding?

Oh, Miss Peppertree, I was just
on my way over to see you.

The president has an idea
something went wrong last night.

You didn't sound very convincing
over the phone.

Well, to tell you the truth,
Mr. Elwood,

I had another date
and I had to stand him up.

Oh, that is serious.

Yes, it wasn't
a very nice thing to do.

And he thinks
I'm a pretty awful person.

He does, eh?

Well, Mary, if the president
got you into this situation,

it's up to him to get you out.
That's what presidents are for.

Oh, no, Mr. Elwood,
I wouldn't think

of bothering the president.

But if you have a spare moment,
his name is David Paxton

and he lives
at the Puriton Hotel.

Oh, that's probably
for you, miss.

Nobody in this town
would be calling me.

Hello?

Yes, sir.

It is for you, sir.
It's the president.

I don't know any president.

The president? Oh, no.

No, no, no, no. Just a minute.

Hello.

Mr. President?

Yes, this is David Paxton.

Who?

Oh, her?

Why, I didn't give it a thought,
Mr. President.

Oh, believe me, sir,
it's very unimportant.

What I wanna discuss is my fish.

No. F-I-S-H.

Yes, that's right,
Mr. President, fish. Now...

Well, yes, she's probably
a very nice girl, but I, I...

Oh, yes, I... I'm sure she is,
Mr. President, but...

But what about my fish?

I can't get near them
on account of the navy.

Mr. President, don't hang up.

Mr. President!

He hung up.

Oh, Mary.

I didn't want to discuss this
in front of the other girls.

That's why I asked you
to come here.

Yes, Mr. Elwood.

I don't know the exact situation
between you and Mr. Paxton,

but if you're entertaining
any serious thoughts about him,

I'm afraid
he doesn't return them.

Oh, but I'm not, Mr. Elwood.
Why, I hardly know him.

The president will be glad
to hear it.

Frankly, he wasn't
very impressed with Mr. Paxton.

The young man doesn't seem
to be entirely, uh, rational.

Oh, no, he didn't talk
to the president about fish?

Every time
your name was mentioned.

Oh, please, thank the president
for me, Mr. Elwood,

and tell him I don't ever expect
to see Mr. Paxton again.

I'm sure the president
will be pleased.

Uh, you see, Mary,
just between you and me,

it's the president's
unofficial opinion

that Mr. Paxton
is more or less of a square.

Well, keep the country running
until I get back.

I'll try, Mary.

Hi.

Thanks for the assist with
the president, Miss Peppertree.

It was a good try even though
I didn't get any place.

Did you ever try talking about
anything besides fish?

Oh, but that's why
I came to Washington.

You see, years ago, my...

I don't wanna seem rude,
Mr. Paxton,

and I'm sure
it's a fascinating story,

but I only get one hour
for lunch.

If I skim over the details

of my early childhood,
I can just make it.

- No, thank you.
- Oh, please.

Let me take you to lunch.

I promise I won't tell you
the story of my life.

You promise not to mention fish?

Fish? Never heard of it.

Which way
are we headed?

Well, I have a very special
place for nice spring days.

No minimum, no cover.

Are they all ham?

They only had ham
and one other kind.

What other kind?

It's unmentionable.

Sardines?

Now you brought the subject up.
Don't blame me.

Well, as long as we have opened
the can of sardines,

what is all this
about fish and the navy?

Well, to begin at the beginning,

have you ever heard
of "Paxton's Encyclopedia.

Of Marine Life In The Pacific?"

- You?
- My father.

He was considered just about the
world's foremost ichthyologist.

About 40 years ago,
he came across Cocopango Atoll.

Had a crystal clear lagoon
teeming with fish.

Perfect spot
for a marine laboratory.

- So he bought it.
- The lagoon?

No, no, the whole island.

Oh, it's just a tiny place
with a handful of natives.

Anyway, when he died,
I took over.

I was doing a passable job, too,
when the war broke out.

When I got back
four years later,

I found the navy had moved in.

They wouldn't even let me
near the place.

Didn't you tell them
it was your island?

Oh, I got writer's cramps
sending letters

to every department
in Washington.

And every department
in Washington kept referring me

to every other department
in Washington.

So I finally decided
to come here

and take it up
with the headman personally.

Now is there anything
unreasonable in that?

Not at all.
Why didn't you get a lawyer?

Oh, I did, in Honolulu.

He wrote as many letters
as I did,

but it didn't do
any good either.

I know just the man
who can tell you what to do.

Phillip Manning,
the fellow I was with

at the restaurant
a couple of nights ago.

He's one
of the smartest assistants

in the Attorney General's
office.

I'll make an appointment
with him for tonight.

You pick me up at home
at 8 o'clock.

Well, that's swell.

I guess I better be
getting back to work.

You know, Miss Peppertree,

if I ever get back to my work
in Cocopango,

I'm gonna name a fish after you.

Come in, dad.

- Your date's here.
- Good. I'm all ready.

- But it isn't...
- I know it isn't Phillip again.

Now don't you read too late.
You're on early duty tomorrow.

Goodnight.

Tom, what is this?

We're going to the movies.

- Oh, no, we're not.
- Oh, yes, we are.

It's a special movie.
It's at the White House.

The president suggested
that I ask you.

But you knew
I had a date tonight.

I told you on the phone.

Yes, but you didn't tell
the president.

- You could've told him.
- Oh, no, I'm no stool pigeon.

And, besides, the president
doesn't like Paxton.

- What do you know about Paxton?
- Not much.

Except that I heard
the president

and Mr. Elwood discussing him.

Frankly, Mary,
from what they think of him,

you'd be in much better company
with me.

I'm not so sure.

Mary, who do you think's
a better judge of character,

you or the president?

Alright.
Now you wait here.

I have to leave a message
for Mr. Paxton.

Dad?

Dad?

Oh, here we are.

The president is tied up.

He suggests
that we go ahead without him.

Good evening, Manning.
Remember me?

- Yes. Hello, Paxton.
- Hello.

- Sit down.
- Thanks.

Miss Peppertree left word for me
to meet you here.

- Where is Mary?
- She'll join us later.

- Now, here's the situation...
- Why later?

Another date.

I have here a treaty
between my father

and the native king
of Cocopango Atoll...

With whom?

The native king
of Cocopango Atoll.

No. I mean, her date.

Oh, the same fellow
as last night.

Now you'll notice that in this...

- Farrington?
- Yeah.

It's not like Mary to make
an appointment and not keep it.

Well, it's not her fault,
Manning.

Orders from the president.

On the strength of this treaty,
my father went...

What's the president
got to do with it?

Don't ask me. I only know
what her father told me.

She went out with Farrington

because the president
wanted her to.

Now you'll notice that
in the terms of this treaty...

So that's it.

Now, wait a minute, Manning.

Congress cannot tax exports,

suspend the right
of habeas corpus

except in wartime
or pass an ex post facto law

or a bill of attainder.

Now you ask me a hard one.

Gentlemen, I've just found out
what's going on

between Mary
and that naval officer.

She was ordered to go out
with him by the president.

- Oh, nonsense, Phillip.
- It's true, sir.

She's out with him again
right now.

Not because she wants to
but on account of the president.

Oh, I'm sure there's
a logical explanation, Phillip.

I'm having dinner
at the White House on Sunday

and I'll mention it
to the president.

Sunday? Anything can happen
between now and Sunday.

I'm seeing the president
on Thursday.

What can happen before Sunday
can happen before Thursday.

Well, Phillip,
if it'll make you any happier,

I'll phone Elwood right now
and find out what's going on.

Thank you, sir.

Projection room.

One moment, please.

Elwood speaking.

Oh, good evening,
Justice Peabody.

Why, yes.

Really, I had no idea.

I'm sure
the president didn't either.

Well, I'm afraid I can't discuss
it over the phone, Mr. Justice.

Where are you?

I'll come right over.

More coffee, sir?

No, thanks.
Seven cups are enough.

I have read all the books about
the rights of the president.

Bills he can sign,
bills he can veto,

the first baseball
he can throw out every season.

But not in one book it says

that he can break up
Phillip and Mary.

I... I don't like
to intrude, Manning,

but, uh, will you
be much longer?

Oh, I'm sorry, we've been
waiting for someone,

but we can get your business
straightened out

in the meantime.

Now as I said before
about this treaty,

I'm sure you'll find
it clearly establishes

my legal title
to Cocopango Atoll.

The marine laboratory
that my father...

Sorry, Paxton.
There's our man.

I'm telling you,
this fellow with Phillip,

I've seen some place.

But, Gustav, you must see
hundreds of people in here.

Yes, but this was
some place not here.

- Oh, here's Elwood.
- Oh, hello, Harvey.

- Mr. Justice.
- Sit down.

Nice of you to come
and solve this riddle for us.

What is this interest of the
president in Miss Peppertree?

Well, I'm sure
the president didn't think

it was going to become a matter
for the Supreme Court.

He merely became
acquainted with her

over the telephone
and wanted to help her.

Neither of us had any idea
that Mr. Manning was concerned.

We thought
we were protecting her

from a very disagreeable
young man named Paxton.

- David Paxton?
- Well, yes. Do you know him?

He's sitting right over there.
Excuse me.

Mr. Paxton,
I wanna speak to you.

Well, it's about time. Now if
you'll just look at this tre...

I'm not interested
in your treaty.

I'm concerned
with Mary Peppertree.

Oh, for heaven's sakes, Manning,

can't you talk about anybody
but Mary Peppertree?

I wanna know what's been
going on with you and Mary.

Look, Manning,
I've been accused

of having a one-track mind.
Fish.

But everybody I run across
in Washington

is in much worse shape
than I am.

You people are all suffering
from a Mary Peppertree fixation.

I'm getting out of this town.

Maybe in six months or so,

you'll have something
on your minds

besides Mary Peppertree.

Good work, Manning.
That was a fast exit.

And a permanent one.
He's leaving town.

Oh, well, I guess
that solves our problem.

Good luck
with, uh, Miss Peppertree.

Thanks.

Well, good evening, Sam.

Rather late to be having dinner,
isn't it?

Your office told me
I'd find you here

and I didn't come to eat.

- Something wrong?
- Plenty.

After the way my papers have
been supporting the president,

he's certainly picking a fine
way to show his gratitude.

Well, I don't follow you, Sam.

It's Farrington
and that Peppertree girl.

Oh, not you too.

Now, let's sit down
and talk this over calmly.

I am afraid I'm getting
a little old, Sam.

Just where do you fit
into the picture?

Farrington and my daughter
are practically engaged.

Now all of a sudden,
two nights in a row,

he breaks dates to go out
with that telephone operator.

And I understand it was
the president who arranged it.

Believe me, Sam,
there's no cause for concern.

Miss Peppertree
is practically married

to that young man
talking to Justice Peabody.

Then why isn't she with him
instead of Farrington?

Stop worrying, Sam,
it's bad for the liver.

There's absolutely nothing

between Farrington
and Miss Peppertree.

It doesn't look that way
from where I'm sitting.

Oh, Mr. Elwood.

We wondered
what happened to you.

- Good evening, Mr. Litchfield.
- Good evening.

Thomas, I'd like a word
with you privately.

I can take a hint.

Remember, admiral,
don't give up the ship.

Thomas?

I did alright with Paxton.
Let me handle Mary too.

- Hello, everyone.
- Good evening, Mary.

- Where's Mr. Paxton?
- He left.

Well, that's funny.
He was supposed to wait.

He couldn't very well.
I practically threw him out.

Why? Phillip, you knew this was
terribly important to him.

What I'd like to know is
why it's so important to you.

Well, for only one reason.
I thought I could help him.

If you didn't wanna, you should
have said so in the first place.

Mary, in our opinion,
you're making

a fool of yourself
over this Paxton.

If anybody's making
a fool of me, it's you.

Now you've put me
in such a ridiculous position,

I can't even try
to explain to him.

Goodnight, gentlemen.
Goodbye, Phillip.

This time she's really mad,

but I shall talk to her.

Tom, will you, please,
take me home?

- Certainly.
- Mary, please.

Oh, excuse me.
Mary, you can't go now.

I'm sorry, Gustav, but there's
no reason for me to stay.

Just a moment, Thomas,
Doris wanted me

to remind you
that we're expecting you

to go to the opera with us
tomorrow night.

I'm sorry, sir, but I've already
invited Miss Peppertree.

Harvey?

Now, Sam, I'm sure
we'll straighten this out.

You'd better.
And I wouldn't count too much

on that young man
with Justice Peabody.

Gustav, if this thing is serious
between Mary and the lieutenant,

I'm in a spot.

Last night,
I saw him kissing her.

Last night.

But when we came downstairs,

it wasn't the lieutenant
she was kissing.

It was a different one.

- That's where I saw him.
- Who?

Paxton.
He's the different one.

He is, huh?

But, Gustav, Mary strikes me

as a girl
with pretty good judgment.

There must be something
to Paxton we don't see.

At any rate, I'd rather
he didn't leave town just now.

It's not enough
I have my examination,

now I have this to worry about.

- Well?
- Phillip, I have news for you.

This fellow you threw out,

Mr. Elwood
is going to throw back.

- Well, hello, Manning.
- Mr. Paxton.

This is a surprise.

Well, I feel
I owe you an apology

and I'd like to make amends
for last night.

- Ah, forget it.
- No.

What was it you wanted me to do?

Well, that's very nice
of you, Manning,

but, uh, the situation's
well under control.

Mr. Elwood and his assistant,
Mr. Crombie, were here

just a little while ago.

They're taking care
of everything.

Oh, they are.

Oh, I see you're leaving town.

- No, no, I'm unpacking.
- Unpacking?

Yeah, according to Mr. Elwood,
it'll be about three weeks

before I can expect any action.

Nonsense. I can get
the Attorney General's office

working on it
and have the entire matter

determined in 24 hours.

Well, that's great.
Gee, I sure appreciate that.

I have all the papers
you'll need right here

including a photostatted copy
of the original treaty.

Now don't you go building up
any romances, dad.

I'm only going to the opera

with the lieutenant
to do him a favor.

He helped me with
the Phillip Manning situation

and I'm going to help him with
the Doris Litchfield situation.

- That's all there is to it.
- Well, he's a fine young man.

And if he's okay
with the president,

he's alright with me.

There you go.

Here's your toast.

There he is.

- Goodbye.
- Bye.

Why, Mr. Paxton,
what are you doing here?

I'm taking you to the opera.

- Oh, aren't you expecting me?
- Oh, no.

I'm going to the opera
but not with you.

That's funny.

Mr. Elwood sent
this pair of tickets

to my hotel this afternoon.

Uh, along with this suit,
a government car,

uh, this corsage,

and a note saying
you were expecting me.

I don't understand.

He knew I was going
with Lieutenant Farrington.

Oh, Farrington?
Oh, well, he can't make it.

He's tied up on special duty
aboard the president's yacht.

And Mr. Elwood sent you instead?

He didn't want you
to be disappointed.

Mr. Paxton, from previous
conversations with Mr. Elwood,

I have reason
to be a little skeptical.

Oh, it's all here in the note.
Read it for yourself.

Official White House stationery.

Mr. Elwood's really
going to bat for me.

I'm finally getting some action.

He tells me
I have you to thank.

- Me?
- Yes.

Oh, good evening,
Mr. Peppertree.

Evening. Mm?

Well, let's go, Mr. Paxton.

Uh, but, Mary,
what'll I tell you-know-who?

You-know-who isn't coming.

But suppose
he calls or something?

Just refer him
to the White House, dad.

I wish the president
would make up his mind.

You don't seem very happy,
Mr. Paxton.

Miss Peppertree,
I... I have a confession to make.

- I hate opera.
- Oh, now, really, Mr. Paxton?

Why, here it is,
a beautiful spring evening,

the breaks are finally
coming my way,

I'm at peace with the world,
I love everybody,

and we're gonna go and sit
in a stuffy hall,

listen to a lot of wailing
and bellowing

about who killed whom and why.

Oh, but nobody gets killed
in "The Barber Of Seville."

If nobody gets killed,
it can't be much of an opera.

Oh, why waste our time?

Here it is,
a beautiful spring evening...

I catch, Mr. Paxton.
Where to instead?

I'm in your hands.
After all, this is your town.

Mm-hmm,
and I know it like a book.

Page 1, Lincoln Memorial.

Page 2, Jefferson Memorial.

Page 3, Arlington.

Page 11.
I think I like this the best.

That's why I saved it
until last.

Change these cherry blossoms
to gardenias,

toss in a few thousand
wild orchids,

we'd be on the beach
of Cocopango.

You're back there again,
are you?

It's the only way
I can get there.

Oh, I think your worries
are just about over

now that Mr. Elwood's in there
pitching for you.

Elwood.

Mary, what do I tell him
if he asks me about the opera?

I don't know anything about it.

W... well, it's, uh, it's about
a barber named Figaro.

He's the Mr. Fix-it of Seville.

He spends half his time

kibitzing everything
that's going on

and the other half
bragging about it.

All in a deep,
rich baritone voice.

The curtain goes up on the first
act, scene one, and the stage...

Mary, I don't have to know
all about it.

Isn't there a, uh, hit tune?

Yes. Yes, there is.

- How's your memory?
- Dynamite.

- It is, huh?
- Sure.

Then start concentrating.

Moonlight and cherry blossom.

They sure is intoxicating
to you young folks.

But you're lucky
the police didn't catch you.

There's a law against swimmin'
in that lagoon.

Bertha, you're just as bad
as my father.

Now I came here
so I wouldn't have to go home

and explain all this to him.

I told you what happened.

Please, hurry up. Mr. Paxton's
gonna get tired of waiting.

Alright, but there's one thing
you still didn't tell me.

What was Mr. Paxton doing
when that Barber Figaro

pushed you in?

- It's been a wonderful evening.
- Yes, it has.

I'm certainly glad
you-know-who couldn't make it.

It's funny the way
things work out, isn't it?

- How is that?
- Well, I...

Nothing.

I think
maybe I'd better go in now.

- Goodnight, David.
- Goodnight, Mary.

David...

there's something
I've got to find out.

I found out.

It happened again.

The same thing happened
the other night.

- Don't you feel well?
- Oh, I feel wonderful.

You see, David, every time...

- Phillip.
- I beg your pardon?

What are you doing here?

I've been waiting
for Mr. Paxton.

- For me?
- Yes.

I've checked your documents.
You've got a valid claim.

I've filed the necessary papers
in the proper court.

The case doesn't come up
for over a year,

but you'll be notified in time.

I thought
I should tell you tonight

knowing how anxious you are
to get out of Washington.

Well, I, uh, I appreciate your
speed and efficiency, Manning,

but, uh, I've changed my plans.

I'm, uh, staying around a while.

I assure you I can handle
everything for you.

Not everything.

Tom.

Is this a private sewing circle

or are you taking
in new members?

I suppose you came to discuss
business with Mr. Paxton too.

Unh-unh. I was here earlier

and I had a little chat
with your dad and left.

Mr. Elwood's note said
that you were tied up.

At 6 o'clock this evening,
Miss Peppertree,

Lieutenant Farrington
was ordered aboard

the presidential yacht
to check supplies for a trip

that won't be made
for another three months.

- That's funny.
- Not very.

It was done deliberately,
so I wouldn't be

able to keep our date.

Oh, that's ridiculous.
Who'd do a thing like that?

My friend Mr. Litchfield
and your friend Mr. Elwood.

It's a conspiracy
to keep us apart

and this guy's the patsy
they're using to do it.

What are you so smug about?

You're the patsy they picked
to split up Mary and me.

- Now, Phillip, Tom...
- I don't get it.

Who's splitting up who?
What is all this?

It's all very simple,
Mr. Paxton.

Farrington was brought in
to split up Mary and me.

Now they're using you
to split up Mary and Farrington.

Vicious little circle, isn't it?

That's an understatement.

Oh, it really isn't as bad
as it sounds...

I think
you can save your explanations

for the switchboard,
Miss Peppertree.

You know, just knowing you is
like living on a merry-go-round.

Only I'm not waiting around
to try for the brass ring.

- Won't you, please...
- No, I'm not gonna be a patsy.

For you or for anyone else.

Manning, you and the sailor
can fight it out.

The field's wide open.

- Mary...
- Mary...

Well, I hope
you both are satisfied.

I've never felt so thoroughly
cheap and ashamed.

Hey, where do you think
you're going?

To get my hat. Do you mind?

- Mary...
- He just wants to get his hat.

Mary, I'm sorry
about what happened.

You know I wouldn't do anything
to hurt you.

Oh, I know that, Phillip.
It really wasn't your fault.

Can't understand Paxton
taking that attitude.

Understanding his attitude
is a full-time job

and I've given it up.

You know, Phillip, you were
right in the first place.

I never should have gone to work
on the White House switchboard.

I was right about other things.

We're not just a habit
with each other, Mary.

We belong together.

Oh, I don't know.
Right now, I'm all mixed up.

You're really an awfully
nice person, Phillip, and...

and, well, maybe you don't
give me the hiccups,

but you don't give me
any headaches either.

I don't want to give you
anything but happiness.

You get yourself
a good night's sleep

and I'll call you
the first thing in the morning.

Goodnight, old man.

- I thought you'd gone.
- I couldn't.

Not while
I'm still in the doghouse.

Mary, I'm in love with you.

But you couldn't be.

I couldn't, I can't,
but there it is.

I want you to marry me.

Oh, Tom, we've only known
each other three days.

Well, what's the difference?
We've hit it off perfectly

from the first minute.
That's what's important.

But only yesterday it was
a battleship that was important.

Well, that was yesterday.
Today everything's different.

I don't know what to say, Tom.
I'm all mixed up.

We don't have to get married
right away.

I'm patient.
I'm willing to wait.

- Even a month, if necessary.
- Mary?

I'll phone you
in the morning... honey.

What in the world
is going on down there?

I wish I knew.

We have no record
of any such person. Sorry.

The governor is not expected
until tomorrow, sir.

You may get that information
from the State Department.

White House.

Oh, good morning, Gustav.

- Now, look...
- Phillip told me the good news.

Congratulations
to your re-engagement.

Gustav, you're the fifth person
to congratulate me this morning,

but there's nothing definite.

Oh, I'm sure Phillip and you
will be very, very happy.

And now
you can wish me luck too.

My examination,
I'm taking on 4 o'clock.

And imagine, Justice Peabody is
going to swear me in right away.

I have not to wait.

So tonight
I'll close up my place

and we'll have a party.

We'll celebrate
you and Phillip making up

and my citizenship
at the same time.

That's fine, Gustav,
but about Phillip and me...

I'm getting busy, Gustav.

Goodbye and good luck.

White House.

Oh, good morning,
Justice Peabody.

Oh, but it isn't all settled,
Mr. Justice.

Mary, a call for you on 4.

Well, I have another call,
Justice Peabody.

Well, thank you very much.

Miss Peppertree speaking.

Oh, Justice Van Sloan, now, I
know what you're going to say...

Mary, on 3.

- Tell him to wait.
- It's the president.

Oh, I'm sorry, Mr. Justice, but
I can't talk to you right now.

Yes, it's a very happy moment.
Thank you.

Good morning, Mr. President.

Oh, thank you, sir, but there
seems to be a little misunder...

Lieutenant Farrington.
Oh, but, Mr. President...

Next month?

Oh, b... but that isn't definite,
Mr. President.

I... I mean, there's nothing...

Thank you, sir.

- Thank you very much.
- Mary.

It's no use, Harkey.

You better start looking
for another girl.

Looks like I'll just
have to marry somebody.

I'm sorry, Mr. Litchfield,
but I have no idea

where to locate Mr. Elwood.

Yes, Mr. Litchfield, he knows
about Farrington's engagement

and I assure you he is just as
disturbed about it as you are.

Yes, Mr. Litchfield,
I'll tell him when he comes in.

- Angry, huh?
- Steaming.

Crombie, I don't get it.

I'm certain that girl
is no more in love

with Farrington than I am.

Get David Paxton on the phone.

I'm sorry, sir,
but he's left Washington.

As a matter of fact,
his plane took off

just about ten minutes ago.

Oh, fine.

He's my one hope of breaking up

this Farrington thing,
now he's gone.

Probably on his way
out of the country.

Well, it's just as well, sir.
He shouldn't have been here

in the first place.

That's one
of the odd complications

I found in this case, sir.

Mr. Paxton is not a citizen.

Technically, he's guilty
of illegal entry.

- Are you sure?
- I'm positive, sir.

I checked
with the State Department.

- According to his father's...
- Skip the details.

And get me the Immigration
and Naturalization Service.

And then ask Miss Peppertree
to come here.

Get me the Immigration
Department, please.

You know, Crombie,
there's nothing like trouble

to bring young folks together.

That's why Cupid shoots them
with an arrow

instead of a feather.

You can't do this to me.
It's unconstitutional!

I've got my rights.
I'm an American citizen!

You're not an American citizen
and never were.

Well, we'll see about that.
I'll ca...

So you're behind this.

- I might have known.
- Look, Mr. Paxton...

Just tell me one thing,
young lady,

why do you plague me like this?

What did I ever do to you?

Life was so simple and easy
before you came along.

Mr. Elwood told me
you were in trouble.

I only came down here to see
if I could help you.

- What's this all about, anyway?
- Don't ask me, ask them.

You'll find out
from the deputy commissioner.

Here he is, sir, David Paxton.

Mr. Commissioner,
by what legal right

am I being deprived
of my citizenship?

You're not being deprived
of anything, Mr. Paxton.

By virtue of this treaty,

when your father accepted
ownership of Cocopango Atoll,

he became a blood brother
of the native king

and also renounced
his American citizenship.

Oh, that's ridiculous.
I've always considered

myself an American
and so did my father.

Legally, you're not.
And I'm afraid we have

no other course
but to have you deported.

- Deported? Where to?
- The place of your birth.

Cocopango Atoll.

Go right ahead.
Try and do it.

- The navy won't let me in.
- They'll have to let you in.

Well, I, I don't wanna go.
I refuse to go.

I'll fight this in every court
in the country.

You'll have
the opportunity, Mr. Paxton.

We'll set a hearing
in the near future.

And what am I supposed to do
in the meantime?

You'll have to remain
in custody.

Unless you can get somebody
to post bond for you.

I'll be glad to do it,
Mr. Commissioner.

Oh? Are you a property owner?

No, but my father...

Oh, he isn't either.

There's Gustav, Gustav Heindel.
He owns a big restaurant.

- Is he a citizen?
- No, but he will be by tonight.

Well, in that case,
he'll probably be acceptable.

But in the meantime, Mr. Paxton
will have to remain in custody.

David, I'll arrange everything

and have you out of here
as soon as possible.

Right now,
I better get back to work.

Goodbye, Mr. Commissioner.
And don't worry, David.

For your sake, Mr. Paxton,
I hope the young lady

can fix things up
as easily as she thinks.

Fix 'em up
or mix 'em up.

She's just the girl
who can do it.

I know it's irregular,
commissioner,

but if you're parole him
to Miss Peppertree for 24 hours,

I'll assume full responsibility.

He'll have a regular bond
posted by then.

- Don't forget my message.
- Oh, yes.

Tell Mr. Paxton Miss Peppertree
will meet him at Gustav's

as soon as she's off duty.

Ah, very grateful to you,
commissioner. Good day.

Well, it's all arranged.

Mr. Elwood, you're just about
the nicest person I've ever met.

If Gustav can't arrange
for a bond until tomorrow

we still wouldn't want
a fine young fellow like Paxton

staying overnight in jail,
would we?

No, we wouldn't. Well, I have
to run now, Mr. Elwood.

Harkey gave me an hour off
and I've already taken three.

Well, Crombie, the committee
reports progress.

I'm glad to hear it, sir.
Everything all cleared up?

Mm. Clearing.

Then maybe we can go
into some of these matters

for the president.

I'm sorry to barge in
like this, Harvey,

but I just received a call
from the State Department

about the deportation
of a David Paxton.

They told me
you knew something about it.

Why, yes, admiral.

Do you, by any chance, also know

that Cocopango Atoll
is now called Carlson Island?

Carlson Island? Well,
we've got a naval base there.

Yes, precisely.
300 million dollars' worth.

And I hope you realize
the significance

of the deportation proceedings
against Paxton.

If we establish him
as a foreigner,

we establish the island
as foreign soil

and not part
of the United States,

which means that
the navy is trespassing.

Great Scott, admiral.

Paxton never spoke about
anything but studying fish.

He made it sound
small and unimportant

and he certainly
never mentioned Carlson Island.

That could have been deliberate.

Harvey, I'm afraid you've been
taken in by a smart operator.

This Paxton has maneuvered
the government into a position

where we either have to make
terms with him or move.

We better take this up
with the president.

- White House. Yes, sir.
- Yes, please. Right away.

Yes, please.
Pentagon building right away.

Secretary of the navy.
Right away, sir.

Justice Peabody? Yes, sir.

White House. One moment, please.

Attorney general. Yes, sir.

Right away, sir.

I have Senator Benning for you.

I am ringing
the immigration service, sir.

Secretary of defense?
One moment, please.

Secretary of state
is on his way over, sir.

Keep alert, girls,
something big is happening.

We haven't had this
much activity since VJ Day.

David, I'm sorry I'm late,
but we had a murderous day

on the switchboard.

David, don't tell me
something went wrong.

Oh, Gustav,
you didn't refuse him.

He's got to have a citizen.

Who is a citizen?

Oh, no.

With the whole Supreme Court
coaching me, I didn't pass.

But you knew
everything perfectly.

Even better than perfectly.

I remembered every word
what Justice Peabody told me,

what Justice Williams told me,
what Justice Hastings told me,

what Justice Van Sloan told me.
It was so easy.

And the first question alone,
I talked for 45 minutes.

So this man said,
"Come to the point."

So I came to the point
another 20 minutes.

Again he asked me
to come to the point,

so I kept coming to the point.

And the second question,
I didn't even finish

what Justice Peabody told me.

All of sudden,
the examination was over.

The man said I should come back
in three months

with shorter answers.

And that, Mary, is that.

Oh, we're not licked yet.

Wait till the justices arrive.
I'll get them to help us.

Mary, they are not coming.

Right after my examination,
I called off the party

and reopened for business.

Justice Peabody promised me
he'd be here.

Him and Justice Van Sloan,
I couldn't reach.

They have an important meeting
with the president.

Yes, I know. I hope he doesn't
keep them there all night.

Well, Paxton's
in the driver's seat alright.

We'll have to make
the best deal we can.

I guess this is a matter
for our office, Manning.

Find Paxton and tell him
we want to see him.

Hey, just a moment. This is
primarily a naval affair.

Lieutenant, locate this Paxton
and bring him here.

- At once, sir.
- No, you'd both better go.

You'll find him in Gustav's
with Miss Peppertree.

Now, gentlemen, let's decide

just how we'll handle Mr. Paxton
when he gets here.

Say, Phillip,
what's the big powwow about?

Mary, in a way.

That Paxton's got her mixed up
in a bad situation.

We're on our way
to Gustav's now.

Moran, take over for a while.

Wait, fellas,
I'm going with you.

The meeting's
gotta break up sometime.

Well, it's a funny thing
about being an American.

You just take it for granted

until somebody tries
to take it away from you.

I know, Mr. Paxton.

Well, for two years,
I've been trying

to get back to Cocopango Atoll.

Now they're trying
to push me there

and I'm fighting not to go.

David, what happens if you marry
an American citizen?

Nothing. Not since
the Cable Act of 1922.

Hm, I suppose that's right.

Wait a second.
Was that a proposal?

Oh, no. I was just...

Paxton, you're wanted
at the White House.

Me? What for?

Mr. Paxton,
why didn't you tell me

that Cocopango Atoll and Carlson
Island are the same place?

- Well, you didn't ask me.
- How could I?

I didn't know
I was getting involved in a plot

against the United States.

Phillip, what on earth
are you talking about?

- Ask him.
- Look, Adam.

He doesn't know
what we're talking about.

Your friend here has maneuvered
the government into a spot

where it has to come to terms
with him in order to keep

one of our most strategic
naval bases.

David.

Let me get this straight,
lieutenant.

Is that, is that
what all this fuss is about?

The government thinks
I'm playing landlord?

- Well, aren't you?
- Well...

If you must know, yes.

Yes, Cocopango is my island

and since I'm not a citizen,
that makes it

a foreign sovereign state.

And your navy doesn't belong
there unless I say so.

- What did I tell you?
- David, you're not serious.

Why not?

Honey, you and I
could be mighty happy

with the kinda money
this will bring in.

Why, you... you stinker!

Oh, now that's no way to feel,
Mary. Business is business.

Paxton, if you as much as talk
to my daughter again, I...

Get him out of here
before I forget myself.

Let's go, Paxton.

Well, I'd like
to oblige you, lieutenant,

but, uh, I'm in
Miss Peppertree's custody.

I can't go any place
unless she accompanies me.

Tell Benedict Arnold
I wouldn't be seen with him.

Sorry, boys, I don't budge
without my custodian.

It, uh, looks like the meeting
will have to come here.

- Of all the presumptuous...
- Forget it, Manning.

I'll phone the White House
and deliver his message.

- Uh, won't you join me?
- Hmph.

Sit down, Gustav.

I don't sit
with Benjamin Arnold.

Sit down.

You know, Gustav,
I have a hunch

that this next chapter
is going to be very interesting.

In four more years,
I'd eligible for a pension,

but this is liable
to cost me my job.

What about me?

I had to be the one
who filed his papers for him,

in a hurry too.

I'll probably have to resign.

I'm terribly sorry, Phillip.

Well, the mountain
is coming to Muhammad.

- They're on their way over.
- It's a fine thing.

A man like that dictating
to half the president's cabinet.

What gets me is I was stupid
enough to tell the admiral

I knew Paxton.

Oh, Tom, it isn't gonna hurt
your career too?

Well, there'll probably
be a board of enquiry.

Just knowing the guy will call
for some fancy explaining.

I was dreamin" of battle wagons.

I'll be lucky if I get a sign
of a garbage scout.

Well, I can take a bow
for this mess, every bit of it.

Look at him sitting there
so smug and self-satisfied.

Come on, Manning,
here's the brass.

That's Paxton
over at that table.

Well, we may be unduly alarmed.

He couldn't be that relaxed
if he really knew

what a spot he's got us in.

I'm afraid he's gonna
be difficult to handle.

He says the navy either pays up
or gets out.

Hm, you three feel him out.
We'll wait over there.

Alright. We may as well find out
where we stand.

Paxton, we're here to negotiate
that Carlson Island situation.

Oh, good.

Just what is it you're after,
Mr. Paxton?

Well, to begin with,
I understand

your navy has several hundred
millions tied up there.

Oh, there's no cause for alarm,
gentlemen.

I don't intend
to be unreasonable.

I realize
there's been a certain amount

of depreciation
in material equipment

and I'm quite willing
to allow for it.

I'm open to offers.

Offers? We're not here
to make offers.

Well, I'm sorry, I understood
you wished to negotiate

this matter,
not merely discuss it.

Well, why should we buy
what we already own?

- It's our naval base.
- Yes, but it's on my island.

Please, Mr. Paxton,
this could be war.

Now, gentlemen,
we are approaching

the problem the wrong way.

Before we can negotiate,
Mr. Paxton,

we've got to discuss this calmly
and from every angle.

I'm perfectly willing
to discuss it, Mr. Elwood,

but, uh, first, I'd like to go
over a few of the angles

with, uh, Miss Peppertree.

- Miss Peppertree?
- Now see here, Paxton...

I don't see any harm
in that, admiral.

- I'll tell Miss Peppertree.
- Thank you.

Elwood, what in blazes
has Miss Peppertree

got to do with this?

That's a long story.

Paxton's becoming extremely
difficult, gentlemen.

He insists on discussing
the matter with Miss Peppertree.

Me? Well,
I don't wanna talk to him.

- And I don't blame her.
- I know how you feel, Mary.

But at a time like this,
you mustn't allow

your personal feelings to
overshadow your patriotic duty.

But I have nothing
to discuss with him.

He insists he has something
to discuss with you.

Please, Mary,
as a favor to me.

I don't understand it.

Well, the three of us
couldn't get anywhere.

Perhaps the situation
requires the feminine touch.

- You wanna talk to me?
- Oh, yes.

Yes, I, uh... but this place
is a little too public.

Uh, where's the kitchen, Gustav?

- The kitchen?
- Oh. This way, please.

Harvey, this is getting
more and more absurd.

Why does he have to talk to Mary
and why in the kitchen?

It's obvious
the man is slightly mad.

Maybe I'd better go in there...

Now, now, gentlemen.
There's no cause for alarm,

I'm sure.

Mr. Gustav,
Mr. Paxton wants to see you.

Me? Oh, no, I'm staying here.

I think you better go, Gustav.

Well, Harvey, explain that.

No, I'm not even
going to try, senator.

What do we do, just stand here?
Let's do something about this.

Alright. What do we do?

Well, uh... I don't know.

- What's he after, Mary?
- Have you got any...

Please, everybody,
Mr. Paxton wants to speak

to Justice Peabody
or Justice Van Sloan.

I'll go.

Well, I'm anxious
to speak to him.

Why does he want
a Supreme Court justice?

He needs a little legal help.

We wanna be absolutely sure
we've got the correct phrasing

for the proposition
we're going to submit.

- We?
- Yes, dad.

David and I talked it over
and we're in this together.

- Together? I won't have it.
- He's hypnotized her.

- That's no excuse.
- Mary, this is shocking!

Just a minute, gentlemen,
please.

Mary, you say that you
and Paxton are in this together?

Yes, and the government will
just have to meet our terms.

- Mary.
- Well, just what are the terms?

Well, they're working out
the details in the kitchen.

Oh, you gentlemen
seem a little upset.

Now there's a great deal
involved.

It's gonna take a little time.

So why don't you just relax?

How 'bout a little
relaxing music, Igor?

Mary, you're a lifesaver.
This guy's been murdering me.

Seven blitzes in a row.
Let's see, seven blitz, uh...

I owe you 14 cents. Come on.

Mary, I don't want to relax.
I want an explanation.

Now look at you, dad.
You're all excited.

Why don't you go back
to your gloomy, old table

and spread a little sunshine?
Go on.

It's hard enough
to figure out any female mind,

but when the female is your
own daughter, it's impossible.

Harvey, if the press
ever finds out about this,

they'll boil us alive.

That's nothing to what those

Sunday radio commentators
will do.

Gentlemen, I have drafted
for submission to the Senate

a treaty of annexation between
the United States of America

and Mr. David Paxton, sovereign
ruler of Cocopango Atoll.

Cession to the United States
will be made

for and in consideration of $1.

One dollar?

Well, as a member
of the Naval Affairs Committee,

I can promise immediate
ratification by the Senate.

However, gentlemen, however,

there are three conditions
demanded by Mr. Paxton.

"One: Mr. David Paxton is to be
appointed director of research

of the Fish and Wildlife
Service.

Two: Mr. Phillip Manning,
in consideration

of exceptional legal ability,

is to be given
a circuit court judgeship

in a district not less than
1500 miles from Washington, DC.

Three:
Lieutenant Thomas Farrington

is to be assigned
to immediate active sea duty

and is to be given his choice
as to the type of naval craft."

Well, gentlemen,
I think you have the authority

to act on the conditions.
What is your pleasure?

I, uh, slipped the last
two conditions in on my own.

If we're gonna live
in this town, I'm putting

plenty of space
between me and competition.

Mr. Paxton, we are certain
that your conditions can be met.

Lieutenant, you can start
packing your gear.

Thank you, sir,
and thank you, Paxton.

Nice maneuvering, Paxton.

- Well, shall we adjourn?
- Wait a minute.

Your Honorship,
tell them about me.

Oh, oh, yes, yes.
One other thing, gentlemen.

"By the terms of the treaty,

all residents
of Cocopango Atoll

shall automatically become
citizens of the United States.

As of ten minutes ago by edict
of the ruler David Paxton,

Mr. Gustav Heindel
was proclaimed

a resident of Cocopango.

Therefore, upon annexation,
Mr. Heindel

as well as Mr. Paxton
becomes an American citizen."

Mary? You should call
the president.

Let him know
everything is alright.

Alright?
Everything is wonderful.

Bertha! Bertha!

Fix hasenpfeffer a la Gustav.

We're going to have a party
after all.

Jawohl boss.

- I'm so happy for you, Gustav.
- From now on, call me Gus.

Mary, find out if the president
is doing anything tonight.

Hello, Harkey? This is Mary.

I'd like to speak
to the president.

Oh, but that's ridiculous.

I am a citizen,
he's a servant of the people.

I have every right to...

Oh, hello, Mr. President.
This is Mary Peppertree.

I wanted you to know
that everything is perfect.

Just perfect.