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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:00,001 --> 00:00:03,906 - Subtitles by explosiveskull - www.elsubtitle.com 2 00:00:10,543 --> 00:00:11,809 Wake up! 3 00:00:11,811 --> 00:00:14,519 I said wake up you good for nothings. 4 00:00:14,521 --> 00:00:17,575 Wake up and get out! 5 00:00:17,577 --> 00:00:18,660 We're doomed! 6 00:00:21,037 --> 00:00:23,618 Every bleedin' morning. 7 00:00:23,620 --> 00:00:25,528 We're all gonna die! 8 00:00:25,530 --> 00:00:27,028 Very cheery. 9 00:00:27,030 --> 00:00:28,390 - Doomed! - Morning Doctor. 10 00:00:28,392 --> 00:00:29,788 - Is it? - Lovely day. 11 00:00:29,790 --> 00:00:31,367 We'll see. 12 00:00:32,452 --> 00:00:37,452 A life of misery! 13 00:00:37,455 --> 00:00:38,288 Doomed! 14 00:00:42,484 --> 00:00:47,275 Doomed! 15 00:00:47,277 --> 00:00:48,110 Shut up! 16 00:00:49,832 --> 00:00:51,223 I'm going to kill you! 17 00:00:51,225 --> 00:00:52,167 Please Captain. 18 00:00:52,169 --> 00:00:53,000 - You're all going to die! - I'll talk to him. 19 00:00:53,002 --> 00:00:54,478 Every bloody morning it's the same. 20 00:00:54,480 --> 00:00:57,548 My poor Henrietta can't get any bloody sleep. 21 00:00:57,550 --> 00:00:59,585 Please Captain, let me talk to him. 22 00:00:59,587 --> 00:01:00,890 We're all gonna die. 23 00:01:01,725 --> 00:01:02,679 I think this one is dog food. 24 00:01:02,681 --> 00:01:03,512 Dog food. 25 00:01:03,514 --> 00:01:04,990 Meat. 26 00:01:04,992 --> 00:01:06,248 Things will end in death. 27 00:01:06,250 --> 00:01:09,118 Mr. Thompson, please open the door. 28 00:01:09,120 --> 00:01:11,028 Please Mr. Thompson can you try to keep it down 29 00:01:11,030 --> 00:01:12,629 for the sake of the other guests. 30 00:01:12,631 --> 00:01:13,464 Doomed! 31 00:01:18,060 --> 00:01:20,973 We had a name in the army for people like you. 32 00:01:22,120 --> 00:01:22,998 Cannon fodder. 33 00:01:23,000 --> 00:01:24,038 I tried. 34 00:01:24,040 --> 00:01:25,768 I know you try. 35 00:01:25,770 --> 00:01:28,278 Why don't you try being less weak. 36 00:01:28,280 --> 00:01:30,690 And this is stewed prunes. 37 00:01:34,633 --> 00:01:37,133 Never any meat, always prunes. 38 00:03:01,064 --> 00:03:01,897 Doomed! 39 00:04:47,826 --> 00:04:49,969 For crying out loud. 40 00:04:52,826 --> 00:04:55,004 Whatever it is we ain't buying. 41 00:04:57,504 --> 00:05:00,177 No no, no we're not selling anything. 42 00:05:01,760 --> 00:05:02,948 Who are ya? 43 00:05:02,950 --> 00:05:05,193 I said we'd like a room. 44 00:05:06,334 --> 00:05:07,668 You're not making no sense. 45 00:05:07,670 --> 00:05:09,795 Give it here dear. 46 00:05:09,797 --> 00:05:13,130 We're the Fishers and we'd like a room. 47 00:05:14,068 --> 00:05:15,183 A room. 48 00:05:15,185 --> 00:05:16,018 Guests? 49 00:05:17,288 --> 00:05:18,684 Guests! 50 00:05:21,190 --> 00:05:23,740 Just wait a moment please, we'll be right with you. 51 00:05:25,033 --> 00:05:25,866 Bernard! 52 00:05:27,126 --> 00:05:27,959 Bernard! 53 00:05:29,325 --> 00:05:30,787 Bernard! 54 00:05:33,265 --> 00:05:34,766 Bernard! 55 00:05:35,601 --> 00:05:36,903 Bernard! 56 00:05:36,905 --> 00:05:38,370 Bernard. 57 00:05:38,372 --> 00:05:41,609 - Bernard! - Bernard! 58 00:05:41,611 --> 00:05:43,948 Bernard! 59 00:05:43,950 --> 00:05:44,808 Mommy? 60 00:05:44,810 --> 00:05:45,694 Mommy? 61 00:05:45,696 --> 00:05:47,973 I'm not your mommy. 62 00:05:47,975 --> 00:05:49,609 Guests! 63 00:05:49,611 --> 00:05:50,444 Guests? 64 00:05:51,505 --> 00:05:52,891 Bernard! 65 00:05:54,277 --> 00:05:55,120 I'm coming. 66 00:05:55,122 --> 00:05:56,757 - There's no room. - I'm on it. 67 00:05:56,759 --> 00:05:57,590 Bernard! 68 00:05:57,592 --> 00:05:58,700 Hurry up you lazy sod. 69 00:05:58,702 --> 00:06:00,802 They'll be dead by the time you get there. 70 00:06:03,927 --> 00:06:05,010 Ahoy there! 71 00:06:06,181 --> 00:06:07,789 Oh dear. 72 00:06:08,624 --> 00:06:09,455 Curries. 73 00:06:09,457 --> 00:06:10,864 We've got guests. 74 00:06:10,866 --> 00:06:11,923 _ Guests? 75 00:06:11,925 --> 00:06:14,748 One moment be right there. 76 00:06:14,750 --> 00:06:16,333 Look, a boat man. 77 00:06:17,556 --> 00:06:18,558 Boat man. 78 00:06:18,560 --> 00:06:20,110 No, no don't look over there. 79 00:06:21,086 --> 00:06:21,917 Damn it. 80 00:06:21,919 --> 00:06:23,624 She's seen them. 81 00:06:23,626 --> 00:06:24,823 Not again. 82 00:06:24,825 --> 00:06:26,763 Please do not panic. 83 00:06:26,765 --> 00:06:28,764 Our bellboy will be right with you. 84 00:06:31,427 --> 00:06:32,260 Yoo hoo! 85 00:06:34,452 --> 00:06:37,223 Back on the boat sir, don't worry about her. 86 00:06:37,225 --> 00:06:38,543 Mind yourselves in the boat now. 87 00:06:39,488 --> 00:06:40,577 Stay back. 88 00:06:40,579 --> 00:06:42,000 Mean boat man! 89 00:06:42,002 --> 00:06:43,510 You know what Cecil said you have to stay here 90 00:06:43,512 --> 00:06:44,741 until you can behave. 91 00:06:44,743 --> 00:06:47,441 Bad boat man, you bad. 92 00:06:49,330 --> 00:06:50,163 I'll be good. 93 00:06:52,360 --> 00:06:53,853 Please take me. 94 00:06:53,855 --> 00:06:54,855 I'm sorry. 95 00:07:05,800 --> 00:07:07,698 Welcome to The Fitzroy. 96 00:07:07,700 --> 00:07:09,848 You can take your gas masks off now. 97 00:07:09,850 --> 00:07:12,195 I'm Bernard, pleased to meet you. 98 00:07:12,197 --> 00:07:13,298 And you are? 99 00:07:13,300 --> 00:07:15,363 Mr. S. Fisher from London. 100 00:07:16,330 --> 00:07:18,648 We're on our honeymoon, aren't we schnookums. 101 00:07:18,650 --> 00:07:20,751 That's right sweet pea. 102 00:07:21,981 --> 00:07:23,308 You haven't had many guests? 103 00:07:23,310 --> 00:07:26,373 No, not since the uh, event. 104 00:07:27,420 --> 00:07:29,488 We have a fair few permanent guests though. 105 00:07:29,490 --> 00:07:31,588 They keep us ticking over. 106 00:07:31,590 --> 00:07:34,388 Three nights in the Honeymoon Suite. 107 00:07:34,390 --> 00:07:38,618 That'll be, six ounces. 108 00:07:38,620 --> 00:07:42,971 I presume Darjeeling will be adequate. 109 00:07:42,973 --> 00:07:44,331 Wonderful. 110 00:07:45,186 --> 00:07:47,036 Darjeeling for my darling. 111 00:07:48,010 --> 00:07:49,824 Ooh that's nice. 112 00:07:49,826 --> 00:07:51,458 Ain't that nice Bernard? 113 00:07:51,460 --> 00:07:52,293 Yeah. 114 00:07:54,249 --> 00:07:56,893 Is there much to do round here? 115 00:07:57,810 --> 00:07:59,218 Well you've got the beach. 116 00:07:59,220 --> 00:08:01,171 Bit cold this time of year but still nice. 117 00:08:01,173 --> 00:08:03,238 Just stay away from the sewage outlet. 118 00:08:03,240 --> 00:08:06,198 No, I meant entertainment. 119 00:08:06,200 --> 00:08:08,338 Theater, excitement. 120 00:08:08,340 --> 00:08:10,788 Oh no, it's the off-season. 121 00:08:10,790 --> 00:08:13,308 I don't know what he's talking about. 122 00:08:13,310 --> 00:08:14,568 Staff. 123 00:08:14,570 --> 00:08:16,638 Of course there's entertainment. 124 00:08:16,640 --> 00:08:20,878 Why just tomorrow night we have our annual um, 125 00:08:20,880 --> 00:08:22,868 annual uh... 126 00:08:22,870 --> 00:08:24,274 Big talent show. 127 00:08:24,276 --> 00:08:26,733 Yes, big talent show. 128 00:08:26,735 --> 00:08:27,703 We do? 129 00:08:27,705 --> 00:08:28,536 We do. 130 00:08:28,538 --> 00:08:31,918 Of course there's a small ticket price. 131 00:08:31,920 --> 00:08:33,958 Your room is down the corridor, 132 00:08:33,960 --> 00:08:36,498 Bernard will bring your bags. 133 00:08:36,500 --> 00:08:41,500 No sea view but uh, you can sure hear it. 134 00:08:45,974 --> 00:08:47,218 And this is your room. 135 00:08:47,220 --> 00:08:48,463 Finest in the hotel. 136 00:08:51,340 --> 00:08:54,268 No, no, no, this, this will not do. 137 00:08:54,270 --> 00:08:55,497 It's the best we've got. 138 00:08:55,499 --> 00:08:56,330 I'm sure we'll be fine dear. 139 00:08:56,332 --> 00:08:59,652 As long as I have you I'll be happy. 140 00:08:59,654 --> 00:09:00,487 Oh. 141 00:09:10,370 --> 00:09:11,808 Um , sorry, 142 00:09:11,810 --> 00:09:14,993 we just need a little bit more light. 143 00:09:18,360 --> 00:09:19,803 There we go, much better. 144 00:09:24,630 --> 00:09:25,930 Right well, I'll get that. 145 00:09:27,927 --> 00:09:30,547 Doesn't really match the ambience anyway. 146 00:09:31,590 --> 00:09:33,117 I'll get you a new one. 147 00:09:34,989 --> 00:09:35,822 Uh. 148 00:09:36,734 --> 00:09:37,735 Just get by. 149 00:09:37,737 --> 00:09:38,568 Yeah. 150 00:09:38,570 --> 00:09:39,401 Excuse me. 151 00:09:41,069 --> 00:09:41,900 - I am so... - You idiot! 152 00:09:41,902 --> 00:09:42,733 - I'm sorry. - Get out. 153 00:09:42,735 --> 00:09:44,090 I'm sorry. 154 00:09:51,290 --> 00:09:52,278 Yes? 155 00:09:52,280 --> 00:09:53,838 Rent. 156 00:09:53,840 --> 00:09:57,258 Always after your pound of flesh aren't you? 157 00:09:57,260 --> 00:09:59,143 Rent or the beach room. 158 00:10:00,973 --> 00:10:01,806 Hmm. 159 00:10:09,677 --> 00:10:11,588 Precisely. 160 00:10:11,590 --> 00:10:12,953 Precisely. 161 00:10:22,020 --> 00:10:23,959 Just get out and leave us alone. 162 00:10:23,961 --> 00:10:26,811 So sorry about that, I'll get you some ice for it okay. 163 00:10:28,102 --> 00:10:29,548 Bernard, take the washing. 164 00:10:29,550 --> 00:10:32,518 We'll need it for the talent show. 165 00:10:59,283 --> 00:11:00,883 What do you think you're doing? 166 00:11:01,809 --> 00:11:03,498 I'm, just collecting the empties. 167 00:11:03,500 --> 00:11:05,467 You stay well away from her. 168 00:11:06,550 --> 00:11:08,903 She's too special for the likes of you. 169 00:11:09,740 --> 00:11:12,890 Just make sure our guests are comfortable. 170 00:11:16,428 --> 00:11:17,948 What is all the racket about boys? 171 00:11:17,950 --> 00:11:19,058 Sonya. 172 00:11:19,060 --> 00:11:19,893 Nothing. 173 00:11:20,980 --> 00:11:25,718 Just having a little chat, isn't that right Bernard. 174 00:11:25,720 --> 00:11:27,673 Yeah, that's right. 175 00:11:29,060 --> 00:11:30,238 Hi Sonya. 176 00:11:30,240 --> 00:11:31,073 Hello Bernard. 177 00:11:32,350 --> 00:11:33,928 We have a talent show tomorrow night, 178 00:11:33,930 --> 00:11:35,588 for the new guests. 179 00:11:35,590 --> 00:11:36,540 You should perform. 180 00:11:37,585 --> 00:11:39,368 Oh, I don't know. 181 00:11:39,370 --> 00:11:42,948 It's been too long, ain't it? 182 00:11:42,950 --> 00:11:44,568 I suppose so. 183 00:11:44,570 --> 00:11:45,933 But you've got a beautiful voice. 184 00:11:47,250 --> 00:11:49,193 Isn't this lovely? 185 00:11:50,096 --> 00:11:53,108 Bernard, isn't there a toilet 186 00:11:53,110 --> 00:11:55,153 that needs unblocking or something? 187 00:11:56,260 --> 00:11:57,093 Yeah. 188 00:11:59,570 --> 00:12:00,468 Bye Sonya. 189 00:12:00,470 --> 00:12:01,583 Bye Bernard. 190 00:12:03,460 --> 00:12:04,363 What an idiot. 191 00:12:05,371 --> 00:12:06,808 He ain't so bad. 192 00:12:06,810 --> 00:12:08,770 Your rent is overdue. 193 00:12:22,430 --> 00:12:26,333 Don't worry dear, it never works out in the beginning. 194 00:12:27,880 --> 00:12:30,075 Mrs. Ellis, you scared me half to. 195 00:12:30,077 --> 00:12:31,873 I mean I didn't see you there. 196 00:12:32,827 --> 00:12:36,108 Of course you didn't, you weren't looking at me. 197 00:12:36,110 --> 00:12:38,001 It's just she's so... 198 00:12:38,003 --> 00:12:40,503 I do need the help of a strong young man though. 199 00:12:42,770 --> 00:12:43,603 Who me? 200 00:12:46,518 --> 00:12:50,248 Oh, it is nice to have a honeymoon couple on board 201 00:12:50,250 --> 00:12:51,698 isn't it Bernard? 202 00:12:51,700 --> 00:12:53,058 Yeah. 203 00:12:53,060 --> 00:12:55,478 I was in love once. 204 00:12:55,480 --> 00:12:56,863 Those were the days. 205 00:12:58,760 --> 00:13:00,748 Have you ever been in love Bernard? 206 00:13:00,750 --> 00:13:01,583 Um. 207 00:13:03,060 --> 00:13:04,087 I think so. 208 00:13:04,089 --> 00:13:04,978 You think so? 209 00:13:04,980 --> 00:13:06,388 What kind of an answer's that? 210 00:13:06,390 --> 00:13:08,818 Mrs. Ellis, what was it you wanted me to look at? 211 00:13:08,820 --> 00:13:11,233 Oh it's Tweety, he's gone all quiet. 212 00:13:12,190 --> 00:13:13,823 Well let's see what's up with him. 213 00:13:15,040 --> 00:13:16,123 Hello Tweety. 214 00:13:16,980 --> 00:13:18,280 What's wrong little fella? 215 00:13:23,040 --> 00:13:25,073 I think he's moved on Mrs. Ellis. 216 00:13:25,907 --> 00:13:27,591 He's flown away? 217 00:13:27,593 --> 00:13:28,426 No, no. 218 00:13:29,861 --> 00:13:30,694 He's dead. 219 00:13:31,835 --> 00:13:34,727 Why didn't you bleedin' say so, scaring me like that. 220 00:13:36,003 --> 00:13:37,123 Poor Tweety. 221 00:13:39,132 --> 00:13:43,388 He was fine a few minutes ago, happily tweeting away. 222 00:13:43,390 --> 00:13:44,518 How long ago? 223 00:13:44,520 --> 00:13:46,447 Oh, just a few minutes ago. 224 00:13:50,287 --> 00:13:51,120 Leak. 225 00:13:52,954 --> 00:13:53,787 Leak. 226 00:14:06,518 --> 00:14:07,351 Rust! 227 00:14:24,970 --> 00:14:25,970 Sorry old girl. 228 00:14:29,456 --> 00:14:30,563 You had a leak Mrs. Ellis. 229 00:14:31,980 --> 00:14:33,339 Really? 230 00:14:33,341 --> 00:14:34,174 Poor Tweety. 231 00:14:37,170 --> 00:14:39,138 I've patched it up for now, 232 00:14:39,140 --> 00:14:41,740 but stay away from it until I do a better job, okay? 233 00:14:43,222 --> 00:14:44,448 Hmm. 234 00:14:44,450 --> 00:14:48,407 Mrs. Ellis, just get some rest okay. 235 00:14:48,409 --> 00:14:49,700 Oh, thank you Bernard. 236 00:14:50,743 --> 00:14:55,738 And Bernard, some birds weren't meant to be caged. 237 00:14:55,740 --> 00:15:00,413 If you want to win her heart, you need to set her free. 238 00:15:03,749 --> 00:15:04,583 Alright there Tweety? 239 00:15:10,961 --> 00:15:13,986 ♪ Inside your dreams ♪ 240 00:15:13,988 --> 00:15:17,222 ♪ Those gray skies I will love ♪ 241 00:15:17,224 --> 00:15:18,057 Free. 242 00:15:20,685 --> 00:15:24,564 ♪ If the heavens rain down upon us ♪ 243 00:15:24,566 --> 00:15:28,858 ♪ We'll just admire the pretty colors ♪ 244 00:15:28,860 --> 00:15:31,943 ♪ A toast to us both ♪ 245 00:15:33,855 --> 00:15:37,566 ♪ And as my voice spins round the record ♪ 246 00:15:37,568 --> 00:15:41,256 ♪ Like my head around my heart ♪ 247 00:15:41,258 --> 00:15:46,258 ♪ I'm in my part all on my own ♪ 248 00:15:46,573 --> 00:15:49,406 ♪ Singing for you ♪ 249 00:15:57,333 --> 00:15:58,333 Goodnight. 250 00:16:08,680 --> 00:16:09,961 Get out! 251 00:16:09,963 --> 00:16:11,235 Doomed! 252 00:16:11,237 --> 00:16:12,678 I hate that man! 253 00:16:13,535 --> 00:16:15,498 And where have you been all night? 254 00:16:15,500 --> 00:16:16,658 Good morning. 255 00:16:16,660 --> 00:16:17,608 You're late again. 256 00:16:17,610 --> 00:16:19,087 Lots to do. 257 00:16:20,268 --> 00:16:21,216 Doomed! 258 00:16:21,218 --> 00:16:24,108 You dirty little civvy. 259 00:16:24,110 --> 00:16:25,428 Good morning Captain. 260 00:16:25,430 --> 00:16:26,919 What's good about it? 261 00:16:26,921 --> 00:16:28,168 It's a new day, anything can happen. 262 00:16:28,170 --> 00:16:29,578 No it can't. 263 00:16:29,580 --> 00:16:31,846 I can't grow a second bladder can I? 264 00:16:31,848 --> 00:16:32,813 Doomed! 265 00:16:32,815 --> 00:16:33,965 Shut up you old fool. 266 00:16:36,892 --> 00:16:38,313 Eh um. 267 00:16:38,315 --> 00:16:39,718 Morning. 268 00:16:39,720 --> 00:16:40,551 Breakfast? 269 00:16:40,553 --> 00:16:42,178 No thanks, we're gonna be heading out. 270 00:16:42,180 --> 00:16:44,148 We're going to have a picnic on the beach. 271 00:16:44,150 --> 00:16:46,428 - Sounds lovely. - Doomed to die! 272 00:16:46,430 --> 00:16:49,200 Please Mr. Thompson we have guests. 273 00:16:49,202 --> 00:16:50,890 They're gonna die. 274 00:16:50,892 --> 00:16:51,842 You sure you don't want breakfast? 275 00:16:51,844 --> 00:16:52,675 No. 276 00:16:52,677 --> 00:16:53,508 I'll have theirs. 277 00:16:53,510 --> 00:16:56,168 You can have yours in a minute Captain. 278 00:16:56,170 --> 00:16:58,221 - Jumped up young brats. - Let's go. 279 00:16:58,223 --> 00:16:59,782 Yes please. 280 00:16:59,784 --> 00:17:00,617 Doomed. 281 00:17:03,629 --> 00:17:05,046 Coo-hoo, hello! 282 00:17:16,176 --> 00:17:17,009 Hmm. 283 00:17:20,310 --> 00:17:21,143 Hmm. 284 00:19:08,241 --> 00:19:09,668 Wonderful. 285 00:19:09,670 --> 00:19:10,618 Just mopping. 286 00:19:10,620 --> 00:19:11,948 He is good isn't he? 287 00:19:11,950 --> 00:19:13,098 He is rather. 288 00:19:13,100 --> 00:19:16,458 Oh reminds me of my younger days. 289 00:19:16,460 --> 00:19:18,523 If only I were your age. 290 00:19:19,625 --> 00:19:23,429 ♪ La la la, da da da ♪ 291 00:19:26,346 --> 00:19:29,478 I don't pay you to dance twinkle toes. 292 00:19:29,480 --> 00:19:30,311 You don't pay me at all. 293 00:19:30,313 --> 00:19:32,253 Leave him alone, it was nice. 294 00:19:34,100 --> 00:19:35,574 Be quiet, sweet cheeks. 295 00:19:36,409 --> 00:19:37,242 Leave her alone. 296 00:19:39,220 --> 00:19:40,651 What? 297 00:19:41,700 --> 00:19:42,833 Precisely. 298 00:19:46,195 --> 00:19:47,028 Women. 299 00:19:55,143 --> 00:19:56,750 Oh. 300 00:19:56,752 --> 00:19:59,002 New couple, I'm good now. 301 00:19:59,850 --> 00:20:01,071 I'm good. 302 00:20:01,073 --> 00:20:02,861 No touching. 303 00:20:06,234 --> 00:20:07,067 Go. 304 00:20:09,750 --> 00:20:10,581 Come on. 305 00:20:10,583 --> 00:20:13,443 You can do this. 306 00:20:15,546 --> 00:20:17,146 I can't. 307 00:20:17,148 --> 00:20:18,481 Come on Bernard. 308 00:20:20,683 --> 00:20:22,183 Come on, dear god. 309 00:20:24,480 --> 00:20:25,530 What is it? 310 00:20:27,629 --> 00:20:29,237 Bernard? 311 00:20:29,239 --> 00:20:30,070 I thought um. 312 00:20:30,072 --> 00:20:31,883 I mean, I was worried. 313 00:20:33,280 --> 00:20:34,680 Would you like to come in? 314 00:20:46,820 --> 00:20:49,648 I'm, I'm sorry about Cecil. 315 00:20:49,650 --> 00:20:53,818 Oh, please don't apologize for him. 316 00:20:53,820 --> 00:20:54,653 Sorry. 317 00:20:55,520 --> 00:20:57,913 I just wish I could do something, you know, but. 318 00:21:00,080 --> 00:21:02,363 Well maybe you could. 319 00:21:03,260 --> 00:21:04,833 No, I couldn't. 320 00:21:05,910 --> 00:21:07,808 I'm not strong enough and besides it's not my place. 321 00:21:07,810 --> 00:21:09,803 I mean, he's my boss. 322 00:21:12,294 --> 00:21:13,127 Come. 323 00:21:14,410 --> 00:21:15,453 Sit by me. 324 00:21:57,144 --> 00:21:57,977 I um. 325 00:22:04,423 --> 00:22:05,498 - Someone should... - So. 326 00:22:05,500 --> 00:22:06,848 - Sorry. - Sorry. 327 00:22:06,850 --> 00:22:08,768 - What were you... - You go first. 328 00:22:08,770 --> 00:22:10,143 Please go ahead. 329 00:22:11,850 --> 00:22:13,408 I was just gonna ask if you'd change your mind 330 00:22:13,410 --> 00:22:15,210 about performing at the talent show? 331 00:22:17,030 --> 00:22:19,548 Those days, they're in the past. 332 00:22:19,550 --> 00:22:21,523 But you've got such a wonderful voice. 333 00:22:23,560 --> 00:22:24,393 Sorry. 334 00:22:26,060 --> 00:22:27,243 What were you gonna say? 335 00:22:28,800 --> 00:22:30,308 Oh it was nothing really. 336 00:22:30,310 --> 00:22:31,678 Please. 337 00:22:31,680 --> 00:22:33,013 Well, it's just. 338 00:22:35,350 --> 00:22:38,863 You should be running the hotel, not Cecil. 339 00:22:41,240 --> 00:22:44,203 Me, running the hotel? 340 00:22:44,205 --> 00:22:46,008 Well you do all the hard work around here. 341 00:22:46,010 --> 00:22:48,490 And you're the one that keeps this place ticking over. 342 00:22:49,400 --> 00:22:50,668 What about checking in the guests? 343 00:22:50,670 --> 00:22:52,961 Doing the books, the accounts, collecting the rent, not to... 344 00:22:52,963 --> 00:22:53,796 Shh. 345 00:22:55,420 --> 00:22:56,770 You could collect the rent. 346 00:22:59,100 --> 00:23:00,561 No, I. 347 00:23:00,563 --> 00:23:01,793 Sure you could. 348 00:23:02,700 --> 00:23:03,953 If you had a partner. 349 00:23:05,060 --> 00:23:05,893 Partner? 350 00:23:07,070 --> 00:23:08,243 A business partner. 351 00:23:09,720 --> 00:23:10,943 A co-owner. 352 00:23:14,880 --> 00:23:15,713 A lover. 353 00:23:17,580 --> 00:23:19,123 Or whatever you wanna call me. 354 00:23:21,572 --> 00:23:26,572 Oh Bernard, all you would have to do is get rid of him. 355 00:23:28,360 --> 00:23:31,178 It would be so easy. 356 00:23:31,180 --> 00:23:33,623 I mean accidents happen all the time right. 357 00:23:35,450 --> 00:23:39,313 And then, you would have everything Bernard. 358 00:23:40,960 --> 00:23:42,053 You'd have the hotel. 359 00:23:43,876 --> 00:23:44,709 You'd have me. 360 00:23:46,060 --> 00:23:51,060 Oh Bernard, you would save us both. 361 00:23:52,490 --> 00:23:53,962 Murder. 362 00:23:53,964 --> 00:23:55,825 You're talking about murder. 363 00:23:55,827 --> 00:23:57,585 Yes of course, murder. 364 00:23:57,587 --> 00:23:59,218 Murder. 365 00:23:59,220 --> 00:24:00,237 Murder. 366 00:24:00,239 --> 00:24:01,088 You just say it like it's nothing. 367 00:24:01,090 --> 00:24:02,518 Would you keep your voice down. 368 00:24:02,520 --> 00:24:05,550 No, I could never do it. 369 00:24:05,552 --> 00:24:07,719 Bernard, think about it. 370 00:24:11,456 --> 00:24:14,173 Think about everything you could have. 371 00:24:15,200 --> 00:24:16,033 It's wrong. 372 00:24:17,050 --> 00:24:17,883 I couldn't. 373 00:24:19,090 --> 00:24:19,923 Bernard. 374 00:24:22,660 --> 00:24:23,783 Take the empties. 375 00:24:49,149 --> 00:24:49,980 Hell guv'nor. 376 00:24:49,982 --> 00:24:51,289 What can I do for you? 377 00:24:52,148 --> 00:24:53,746 Mercy me, bed for the night. 378 00:24:53,748 --> 00:24:55,331 Not good, not good. 379 00:24:58,947 --> 00:25:01,838 How many times do I have to tell you? 380 00:25:01,840 --> 00:25:05,788 The walls in my room are too thin. 381 00:25:05,790 --> 00:25:08,473 I can hear the fish swimming in my ear. 382 00:25:09,330 --> 00:25:10,728 Mr. Thompson they're fine. 383 00:25:10,730 --> 00:25:12,518 I've checked them, they're the same thickness 384 00:25:12,520 --> 00:25:13,458 as the rest of the hotel. 385 00:25:13,460 --> 00:25:15,283 They're too thin. 386 00:25:17,372 --> 00:25:18,205 They must be done for the day. 387 00:25:19,700 --> 00:25:20,881 I'm coming. 388 00:25:21,716 --> 00:25:22,716 Hmm, what? 389 00:25:24,240 --> 00:25:25,157 Who's this? 390 00:25:27,398 --> 00:25:29,383 We're doomed! 391 00:25:29,385 --> 00:25:32,833 According to official reports we're too die. 392 00:25:35,612 --> 00:25:37,945 Beware before it's too late. 393 00:25:48,225 --> 00:25:49,196 Good morning sir. 394 00:25:49,198 --> 00:25:50,029 What? 395 00:25:50,031 --> 00:25:52,192 No wait, you're on the wrong side. 396 00:25:52,194 --> 00:25:53,334 I'm on the right side. 397 00:25:53,336 --> 00:25:54,807 You need to be on the other side. 398 00:25:54,809 --> 00:25:56,058 There's only one side. 399 00:25:56,060 --> 00:25:57,054 No. 400 00:25:57,056 --> 00:25:58,388 No, no, no, no, no. 401 00:25:58,390 --> 00:25:59,671 You're the customer see. 402 00:25:59,673 --> 00:26:01,054 You can't be on that side. 403 00:26:01,056 --> 00:26:02,823 Don't tell me what to do. 404 00:26:02,825 --> 00:26:04,375 I'm not telling you what to do 405 00:26:04,377 --> 00:26:07,331 but I can only serve you if you're on this side. 406 00:26:07,333 --> 00:26:08,250 Oh, fine. 407 00:26:10,014 --> 00:26:11,421 Happy? 408 00:26:11,423 --> 00:26:13,048 There, that's better. 409 00:26:13,050 --> 00:26:14,828 What can I do for you sir? 410 00:26:14,830 --> 00:26:16,340 You're on the wrong side. 411 00:26:17,386 --> 00:26:18,217 Huh? 412 00:26:18,219 --> 00:26:19,473 Now you're on the wrong side. 413 00:26:20,960 --> 00:26:21,793 Oh god. 414 00:26:24,051 --> 00:26:26,968 Hello sir, what can I do for you? 415 00:26:26,970 --> 00:26:28,608 I'd like a room for two nights. 416 00:26:28,610 --> 00:26:30,128 Your most average. 417 00:26:30,130 --> 00:26:31,938 We've only average left sir. 418 00:26:31,940 --> 00:26:33,306 Name? 419 00:26:33,308 --> 00:26:34,173 Inspector. 420 00:26:34,175 --> 00:26:35,023 Inspector? 421 00:26:35,025 --> 00:26:38,020 The Inspector from the Council. 422 00:26:39,420 --> 00:26:42,270 Here to inspect the hotel, make sure it meets regulation. 423 00:26:43,120 --> 00:26:44,278 We're regular sir. 424 00:26:44,280 --> 00:26:46,398 It's anchored, not going nowhere. 425 00:26:46,400 --> 00:26:48,283 How many guests do you have? 426 00:26:49,906 --> 00:26:50,761 Two. 427 00:26:50,763 --> 00:26:52,018 Two? 428 00:26:52,020 --> 00:26:53,828 Yes but 13 permanent guests. 429 00:26:53,830 --> 00:26:55,618 No wait 12. 430 00:26:55,620 --> 00:26:57,811 Chris died last week, broken air filter. 431 00:26:57,813 --> 00:27:01,858 I mean old age, he died a peaceful death of broken old age. 432 00:27:01,860 --> 00:27:02,693 12 guests? 433 00:27:03,610 --> 00:27:04,651 That's quite a little earner. 434 00:27:04,653 --> 00:27:06,448 Tell me about the hotel. 435 00:27:06,450 --> 00:27:09,175 Well The Fitzroy of course used to be a regular hotel 436 00:27:09,177 --> 00:27:10,529 up on the promenade. 437 00:27:10,531 --> 00:27:15,395 Then after the event, the sub just popped straight up. 438 00:27:15,397 --> 00:27:18,014 I loved her the moment I saw her. 439 00:27:18,016 --> 00:27:21,459 Took for ages to get the contents on board. 440 00:27:21,461 --> 00:27:22,561 Oh. 441 00:27:22,563 --> 00:27:26,073 Lost a ship trying to get the bathtubs across. 442 00:27:26,075 --> 00:27:29,067 There are drawbacks to having a hotel in a submarine. 443 00:27:29,069 --> 00:27:30,905 We could sink at any time. 444 00:27:30,907 --> 00:27:33,109 But it's okay though. 445 00:27:33,111 --> 00:27:33,942 Oh. 446 00:27:33,944 --> 00:27:38,138 I used to clean a lot of windows, not anymore. 447 00:27:38,140 --> 00:27:39,938 So that's pretty much all there is to the Fitzroy. 448 00:27:39,940 --> 00:27:41,378 Bernard, you idiot. 449 00:27:41,380 --> 00:27:43,448 What are you doing here? 450 00:27:43,450 --> 00:27:45,518 Shouldn't you be fixing something on this rust bucket? 451 00:27:45,520 --> 00:27:46,738 Or attending to our guests. 452 00:27:46,740 --> 00:27:49,188 - This is the... - We told you to smooch them. 453 00:27:49,190 --> 00:27:51,348 You can't do that down here can you? 454 00:27:51,350 --> 00:27:52,718 Wow them. 455 00:27:52,720 --> 00:27:53,948 Takers remember. 456 00:27:53,950 --> 00:27:55,901 This is The Inspector. 457 00:27:58,764 --> 00:27:59,597 Madam. 458 00:28:02,880 --> 00:28:04,365 The owner, I presume. 459 00:28:04,367 --> 00:28:06,798 The Hotel Inspector. 460 00:28:06,800 --> 00:28:07,750 From the Council. 461 00:28:08,660 --> 00:28:12,528 Inspector, how nice for you to visit. 462 00:28:12,530 --> 00:28:15,874 Yes I am the owner, co-owner really. 463 00:28:15,876 --> 00:28:19,098 Sorry about before. 464 00:28:19,100 --> 00:28:22,428 I get so passionate about good service. 465 00:28:22,430 --> 00:28:24,830 Passion is what separates us from the animals. 466 00:28:27,660 --> 00:28:29,373 That's what I always say. 467 00:28:30,230 --> 00:28:32,458 Ain't that what I always say Bernard. 468 00:28:32,460 --> 00:28:35,058 Um, yes. 469 00:28:35,060 --> 00:28:39,063 Why don't I show you to your room Inspector. 470 00:28:43,570 --> 00:28:45,438 Room 24, it's on the left. 471 00:28:45,440 --> 00:28:46,963 Thank you Bernard, I know. 472 00:28:49,120 --> 00:28:50,318 Follow me Inspector. 473 00:28:50,320 --> 00:28:52,139 Have you traveled far? 474 00:28:56,516 --> 00:28:57,718 Hello Bernard. 475 00:28:57,720 --> 00:28:58,553 You scared me. 476 00:28:59,780 --> 00:29:00,611 We have an Inspect... 477 00:29:00,613 --> 00:29:02,488 I hear you went into room 23. 478 00:29:02,490 --> 00:29:05,488 I was, collecting empties. 479 00:29:05,490 --> 00:29:07,206 Don't lie to me. 480 00:29:07,208 --> 00:29:09,523 I know why you went in there. 481 00:29:10,550 --> 00:29:11,708 Ah shit. 482 00:29:11,710 --> 00:29:12,678 You okay? 483 00:29:12,680 --> 00:29:13,699 - Wrap this around... - Get off. 484 00:29:13,701 --> 00:29:15,268 Let me look at it. 485 00:29:15,270 --> 00:29:16,768 It's fine. 486 00:29:16,770 --> 00:29:18,783 It's fine. 487 00:29:19,980 --> 00:29:22,277 Just stay away from her. 488 00:29:23,600 --> 00:29:24,433 You hear me. 489 00:29:34,777 --> 00:29:36,277 And tidy those up. 490 00:29:44,910 --> 00:29:45,960 Stay away from her. 491 00:29:47,050 --> 00:29:48,413 Tidy those up. 492 00:29:50,530 --> 00:29:51,363 No. 493 00:30:05,270 --> 00:30:06,124 Oh. 494 00:30:07,848 --> 00:30:09,501 Get up. 495 00:30:09,503 --> 00:30:11,003 Blasted minstrels. 496 00:30:17,979 --> 00:30:18,812 Hmm. 497 00:30:21,030 --> 00:30:21,863 Loose pipe. 498 00:30:25,190 --> 00:30:26,023 Ah. 499 00:30:30,587 --> 00:30:32,018 Loose pipe. 500 00:30:36,343 --> 00:30:41,263 Uh huh. 501 00:30:41,265 --> 00:30:42,098 Hmm-mm. 502 00:30:47,102 --> 00:30:48,108 Huh. 503 00:31:03,940 --> 00:31:05,355 No. 504 00:31:05,357 --> 00:31:06,190 No. 505 00:31:09,844 --> 00:31:11,238 What are you writing down? 506 00:31:11,240 --> 00:31:12,538 Notes. 507 00:31:12,540 --> 00:31:14,088 The structural integrity of the hotel 508 00:31:14,090 --> 00:31:15,458 is very important to the report. 509 00:31:15,460 --> 00:31:18,921 She's as solid as the day she was built. 510 00:31:22,870 --> 00:31:24,028 Stop writing things down. 511 00:31:24,030 --> 00:31:25,888 It is part of the report. 512 00:31:25,890 --> 00:31:28,178 Either the hotel is stable or it is not. 513 00:31:28,180 --> 00:31:29,953 I myself will be the judge. 514 00:31:30,850 --> 00:31:33,358 And may I suggest that you do not antagonize me. 515 00:31:33,360 --> 00:31:36,121 Or need I remind you I have the full support of the Council 516 00:31:36,123 --> 00:31:38,473 and all the power that that entails. 517 00:31:42,196 --> 00:31:43,863 Ooh, hello boys. 518 00:31:45,095 --> 00:31:46,245 Don't let me interrupt. 519 00:31:47,140 --> 00:31:48,463 Who's your new friend Bernard? 520 00:31:50,127 --> 00:31:51,177 It's The Inspector. 521 00:31:52,535 --> 00:31:54,923 The Hotel Inspector, from the Council. 522 00:31:56,487 --> 00:31:57,887 What a pleasure it is, Mrs.? 523 00:31:59,335 --> 00:32:00,748 - Miss. - Miss. 524 00:32:00,750 --> 00:32:02,957 Sonya Beatrice. 525 00:32:02,959 --> 00:32:05,490 How wonderful it is to have a man of power around here. 526 00:32:07,760 --> 00:32:10,318 Have you seen to my proposition yet Bernard? 527 00:32:10,320 --> 00:32:12,858 Um, a bit. 528 00:32:12,860 --> 00:32:14,010 Well see that you do. 529 00:32:15,056 --> 00:32:16,868 Well I must be getting along now. 530 00:32:16,870 --> 00:32:18,563 It's my bath time Inspector. 531 00:32:19,660 --> 00:32:21,773 I do hope we'll be seeing more of you around. 532 00:32:31,440 --> 00:32:33,418 I'm watching you. 533 00:32:33,420 --> 00:32:34,765 Brian. 534 00:32:34,767 --> 00:32:37,417 - Bernard. - Bernard, whatever. 535 00:32:37,419 --> 00:32:39,019 I'm keeping a close on you, hmm. 536 00:32:44,900 --> 00:32:46,458 Hello Sonya. 537 00:32:46,460 --> 00:32:47,848 Come to wash me Bernard? 538 00:32:47,850 --> 00:32:48,888 What was all that about? 539 00:32:48,890 --> 00:32:50,878 He doesn't know we're talking about murder. 540 00:32:50,880 --> 00:32:53,103 Stop using that word. 541 00:32:54,920 --> 00:32:59,358 He's an Inspector, he can sniff these things out. 542 00:32:59,360 --> 00:33:02,753 Oh don't you see, that plays into our hands, it's perfect. 543 00:33:04,940 --> 00:33:06,790 Look we only have to kill one person. 544 00:33:07,670 --> 00:33:11,238 Kill Cecil and make it look like Mildred did it. 545 00:33:11,240 --> 00:33:13,498 She has enough motives. 546 00:33:13,500 --> 00:33:14,760 The Inspector arrests her 547 00:33:15,603 --> 00:33:17,903 and with them both gone the hotel goes to you. 548 00:33:19,153 --> 00:33:20,558 What? 549 00:33:20,560 --> 00:33:21,391 Goes to me? 550 00:33:21,393 --> 00:33:22,728 Why? 551 00:33:22,730 --> 00:33:23,950 Chain of command. 552 00:33:25,090 --> 00:33:27,533 This is a submarine as well as a hotel right? 553 00:33:28,610 --> 00:33:29,443 Well yeah. 554 00:33:30,473 --> 00:33:33,462 And what happens when the Captain dies? 555 00:33:33,464 --> 00:33:35,888 The First Officer takes command. 556 00:33:35,890 --> 00:33:37,873 And if there is no First Officer? 557 00:33:38,830 --> 00:33:41,153 Then the next in command. 558 00:33:42,140 --> 00:33:42,973 Right. 559 00:33:45,300 --> 00:33:46,133 The bellboy. 560 00:33:47,200 --> 00:33:48,033 Takes command. 561 00:33:50,480 --> 00:33:52,100 The chain of command. 562 00:33:54,487 --> 00:33:55,927 Exactly. 563 00:34:01,046 --> 00:34:02,629 Chain of command. 564 00:34:09,338 --> 00:34:10,483 Right. 565 00:35:09,780 --> 00:35:11,947 Mr. Thompson are you okay? 566 00:35:13,778 --> 00:35:14,695 Don't move. 567 00:35:18,558 --> 00:35:19,391 Leak! 568 00:35:21,284 --> 00:35:22,960 - Mine. - Mine. 569 00:35:22,962 --> 00:35:24,159 - Mine. - Mine. 570 00:35:24,161 --> 00:35:25,443 Excuse me. 571 00:35:25,445 --> 00:35:27,398 Fix it Bernard. 572 00:35:27,400 --> 00:35:30,227 It's all under control. 573 00:35:30,229 --> 00:35:31,873 What's all this blasted racket about? 574 00:35:31,875 --> 00:35:32,706 Leak! 575 00:35:32,708 --> 00:35:33,539 Ah. 576 00:35:33,541 --> 00:35:34,595 Abandon ship. 577 00:35:39,239 --> 00:35:40,070 What's going on here? 578 00:35:40,072 --> 00:35:42,188 Inspector, no need to panic. 579 00:35:42,190 --> 00:35:43,748 Routine maintenance. 580 00:35:43,750 --> 00:35:45,226 Who's this ponce? 581 00:35:45,228 --> 00:35:46,667 - Ponce? - He's The Inspector. 582 00:35:46,669 --> 00:35:48,738 The Hotel Inspector from the Council. 583 00:35:48,740 --> 00:35:50,748 I thought I heard someone shout leak. 584 00:35:50,750 --> 00:35:51,608 Hotel inspector? 585 00:35:51,610 --> 00:35:53,216 Leak, no. 586 00:35:53,218 --> 00:35:57,748 Oh, leak, no, no, of course not. 587 00:35:57,750 --> 00:35:59,588 Not in our hotel. 588 00:35:59,590 --> 00:36:02,484 It's as my dear wife says, it's just maintenance. 589 00:36:02,486 --> 00:36:04,319 We've sprung a leak. 590 00:36:05,371 --> 00:36:07,978 Everyone abandon ship! 591 00:36:07,980 --> 00:36:09,230 Mr. Thompson. 592 00:36:10,484 --> 00:36:11,817 Oh dear oh dear. 593 00:36:13,009 --> 00:36:14,538 Don't worry Mr. Thompson. 594 00:36:14,540 --> 00:36:17,374 I'll soon fix it Mr. Thompson. 595 00:36:17,376 --> 00:36:20,112 Nothing to worry about. 596 00:36:20,114 --> 00:36:21,447 Just stay there. 597 00:36:24,372 --> 00:36:27,876 Come on Mr. Thompson, let's get you out of here. 598 00:36:27,878 --> 00:36:28,711 Come on. 599 00:36:33,988 --> 00:36:35,487 Mr. Thompson. 600 00:36:42,618 --> 00:36:44,535 Get off me you idiot! 601 00:36:46,228 --> 00:36:47,061 Brr, you. 602 00:36:49,816 --> 00:36:51,290 ♪ Going to sink ♪ 603 00:36:51,292 --> 00:36:52,993 ♪ You're going to sink ♪ 604 00:36:52,995 --> 00:36:54,814 ♪ You're going to sink ♪ 605 00:36:54,816 --> 00:36:58,149 ♪ You're going to below ♪ 606 00:36:59,852 --> 00:37:00,683 How do I look dear? 607 00:37:00,685 --> 00:37:01,516 Fine dear. 608 00:37:01,518 --> 00:37:03,118 Dine. 609 00:37:03,120 --> 00:37:05,529 It better be good, this talent show. 610 00:37:10,930 --> 00:37:12,358 Great. 611 00:37:12,360 --> 00:37:14,428 Seven years bad luck. 612 00:37:14,430 --> 00:37:16,708 It is junk this hotel. 613 00:37:16,710 --> 00:37:18,018 You're junk. 614 00:37:18,020 --> 00:37:18,851 Sorry dear. 615 00:37:18,853 --> 00:37:19,686 Nothing dear. 616 00:37:24,129 --> 00:37:26,462 Oh, will you stop pushing. 617 00:37:28,190 --> 00:37:29,618 I don't want him in here. 618 00:37:29,620 --> 00:37:30,958 He smells of old sausage meat. 619 00:37:30,960 --> 00:37:33,518 How the hell do you remember 620 00:37:33,520 --> 00:37:35,618 what sausage meat smells like? 621 00:37:35,620 --> 00:37:38,705 I said old sausage meat. 622 00:37:39,564 --> 00:37:41,231 Just get in there. 623 00:37:42,630 --> 00:37:44,458 Mildred says he has to stay with you 624 00:37:44,460 --> 00:37:45,883 or he's out on the beach. 625 00:37:47,520 --> 00:37:49,008 Fine by me. 626 00:37:49,010 --> 00:37:50,888 I'd rather be dead, 627 00:37:50,890 --> 00:37:53,308 than live with this jumped up sailor. 628 00:37:53,310 --> 00:37:54,727 I sir, am a Captain. 629 00:37:56,002 --> 00:37:56,835 Ah and you think I'm mad. 630 00:37:59,749 --> 00:38:01,416 Just get in there! 631 00:38:05,518 --> 00:38:06,815 Don't touch anything. 632 00:38:06,817 --> 00:38:09,567 And keep your hands off anything. 633 00:38:11,606 --> 00:38:12,523 Honestly. 634 00:38:13,543 --> 00:38:14,543 Thank you. 635 00:38:17,400 --> 00:38:18,233 Ah. 636 00:38:20,080 --> 00:38:21,198 Program sir? 637 00:38:21,200 --> 00:38:22,228 Thank you. 638 00:38:22,230 --> 00:38:24,303 I'll add it to your tab. 639 00:38:31,580 --> 00:38:35,653 Welcome one and all to The Fitzroy Big Talent Show. 640 00:38:54,290 --> 00:38:55,873 Let the show begin. 641 00:39:01,469 --> 00:39:02,463 A note to Tweety. 642 00:39:03,310 --> 00:39:04,938 Oh dear. 643 00:39:04,940 --> 00:39:08,813 Where once bright chirrups chirped and cried. 644 00:39:09,737 --> 00:39:12,087 And lovebirds tweeted side by side. 645 00:39:13,090 --> 00:39:16,947 Now my dear departed dance and fly 646 00:39:19,440 --> 00:39:20,620 with the dead. 647 00:39:34,520 --> 00:39:36,482 Hello Dr. Lewis how are you? 648 00:39:36,484 --> 00:39:39,488 Well I'm great thank you, how are you? 649 00:39:39,490 --> 00:39:42,497 I'm great, how's the family? 650 00:39:49,600 --> 00:39:53,077 Life's not times fool. 651 00:39:53,079 --> 00:39:55,008 No rosy lips and cheeks. 652 00:39:55,010 --> 00:39:57,578 Life all does not with one we weep. 653 00:39:57,580 --> 00:40:00,977 But bears it even until the edge of doom! 654 00:40:19,257 --> 00:40:20,993 You're still a star. 655 00:40:22,320 --> 00:40:24,818 I told you never to mention Elsie. 656 00:40:24,820 --> 00:40:26,930 Now you must be punished. 657 00:40:26,932 --> 00:40:28,691 Oh please no. 658 00:40:28,693 --> 00:40:29,524 Yes. 659 00:40:29,526 --> 00:40:32,193 No, no please no, not my head. 660 00:40:47,497 --> 00:40:48,330 Get. 661 00:40:53,659 --> 00:40:54,492 Oh. 662 00:41:11,323 --> 00:41:13,411 Well, that's it folks. 663 00:41:13,413 --> 00:41:14,611 - So good. - Great. 664 00:41:17,292 --> 00:41:20,061 I'm sorry that there are no more acts. 665 00:41:20,063 --> 00:41:21,763 Thank God for that. 666 00:41:26,910 --> 00:41:28,308 Don't you think you're past it? 667 00:41:28,310 --> 00:41:29,983 Cecil, let her sing. 668 00:41:30,880 --> 00:41:32,273 You'll regret this. 669 00:41:49,667 --> 00:41:54,667 ♪ I could have followed my dear babooshka's last words ♪ 670 00:41:56,288 --> 00:42:01,288 ♪ To find a good man who could keep from my purse ♪ 671 00:42:02,426 --> 00:42:07,426 ♪ If life was soft inside a cell of victory ♪ 672 00:42:08,242 --> 00:42:13,242 ♪ But popcorn girl or seamstress I'd have been ♪ 673 00:42:14,381 --> 00:42:17,290 ♪ But ♪ 674 00:42:17,292 --> 00:42:21,377 ♪ I was entranced by lesser of evils ♪ 675 00:42:21,379 --> 00:42:26,379 ♪ Cabaret and pay to see me as you may ♪ 676 00:42:27,412 --> 00:42:32,412 ♪ A note from me to show a little skirt ♪ 677 00:42:33,153 --> 00:42:34,941 ♪ For I have played the femme fatale ♪ 678 00:42:34,943 --> 00:42:37,313 ♪ Lulu, Nano, I know them all ♪ 679 00:42:37,315 --> 00:42:42,315 ♪ But underneath this grand facade ♪ 680 00:42:43,405 --> 00:42:47,540 ♪ Is a little girl who needs a cradling arm ♪ 681 00:42:47,542 --> 00:42:51,753 ♪ And an open heart look to help her on her path ♪ 682 00:42:51,755 --> 00:42:53,934 ♪ Of this lifetime of trying ♪ 683 00:42:53,936 --> 00:42:56,629 ♪ Of trying to achieve ♪ 684 00:42:56,631 --> 00:42:59,631 ♪ Impossible dreams ♪ 685 00:43:06,753 --> 00:43:11,753 ♪ If by happenstance I meet a man of power ♪ 686 00:43:12,357 --> 00:43:17,357 ♪ I'd recommend he steal the moon of the earth ♪ 687 00:43:17,692 --> 00:43:22,692 ♪ Or else my tears are really going to drown us all ♪ 688 00:43:23,398 --> 00:43:25,153 ♪ Just grant my wish ♪ 689 00:43:25,155 --> 00:43:29,373 ♪ I'll be your girl to show ♪ 690 00:43:29,375 --> 00:43:34,375 ♪ I promise I will wash my mouth with soap ♪ 691 00:43:37,107 --> 00:43:42,107 ♪ I'd rather be a mop than mope ♪ 692 00:43:42,244 --> 00:43:47,244 ♪ 'Cause rescue me and open up this can of worms ♪ 693 00:43:48,173 --> 00:43:50,053 ♪ For I have played the femme fatale ♪ 694 00:43:50,055 --> 00:43:52,065 ♪ Lulu, Nano, I know them all ♪ 695 00:43:52,067 --> 00:43:57,067 ♪ But underneath this grand facade ♪ 696 00:43:58,408 --> 00:44:02,950 ♪ Is a little girl who needs a cradling arm ♪ 697 00:44:02,952 --> 00:44:06,786 ♪ And an open heart look to help her on her path ♪ 698 00:44:06,788 --> 00:44:08,904 ♪ Of this lifetime of trying ♪ 699 00:44:08,906 --> 00:44:11,926 ♪ Of trying to achieve ♪ 700 00:44:11,928 --> 00:44:14,928 ♪ Impossible dreams ♪ 701 00:44:29,860 --> 00:44:31,690 Thank god that's over. 702 00:44:33,335 --> 00:44:34,197 Well that was a complete waste of time. 703 00:44:36,060 --> 00:44:38,558 Mine was the best by far. 704 00:44:38,560 --> 00:44:41,178 Your chicken was a better dancer. 705 00:44:41,180 --> 00:44:43,458 Stop touching her. 706 00:44:43,460 --> 00:44:44,528 Darling we'll leave 707 00:44:44,530 --> 00:44:45,798 first thing in the morning. 708 00:44:45,800 --> 00:44:47,128 Bit late now, 709 00:44:47,130 --> 00:44:49,708 normally you're premature but not this time. 710 00:44:49,710 --> 00:44:51,668 This is the worst, most depressing hotel 711 00:44:51,670 --> 00:44:54,042 you've ever taken me too. 712 00:44:54,044 --> 00:44:56,550 Not the best night, hey old girl. 713 00:45:01,230 --> 00:45:02,063 Night everyone. 714 00:45:03,010 --> 00:45:04,778 What do you think you're playing at? 715 00:45:04,780 --> 00:45:07,198 Always making a show of yourself. 716 00:45:07,200 --> 00:45:08,658 You don't own me. 717 00:45:08,660 --> 00:45:11,151 I told you not to sing. 718 00:45:11,153 --> 00:45:12,511 I'll sing if I want. 719 00:45:18,616 --> 00:45:21,724 Please, stop your crying. 720 00:45:32,220 --> 00:45:33,320 You leave her alone. 721 00:45:34,450 --> 00:45:35,851 Sorry. 722 00:45:35,853 --> 00:45:37,705 - No, no. - What did you say? 723 00:45:37,707 --> 00:45:41,358 I said you, you leave her alone, 724 00:45:41,360 --> 00:45:44,008 you stinking bag of manure. 725 00:45:44,010 --> 00:45:46,298 So, the womb has the turned. 726 00:45:46,300 --> 00:45:47,768 No Cecil don't. 727 00:45:47,770 --> 00:45:49,194 He didn't mean it. 728 00:45:49,196 --> 00:45:50,027 Yes I do. 729 00:45:50,029 --> 00:45:52,254 You're a bully and you don't deserve her. 730 00:45:52,256 --> 00:45:53,465 I'll show you deserve. 731 00:45:53,467 --> 00:45:55,062 You little rat. 732 00:45:55,897 --> 00:45:57,053 Don't do that. 733 00:45:57,055 --> 00:45:59,684 No stop it, please, stop. 734 00:45:59,686 --> 00:46:00,517 I'm gonna hurt you. 735 00:46:00,519 --> 00:46:02,120 You ungrateful luggage monkey. 736 00:46:02,122 --> 00:46:03,578 I'm a bellhop. 737 00:46:03,580 --> 00:46:05,468 Cecil please just leave. 738 00:46:05,470 --> 00:46:06,301 You shut up. 739 00:46:07,136 --> 00:46:08,051 Leave her alone. 740 00:46:11,077 --> 00:46:12,244 Get off him. 741 00:46:13,248 --> 00:46:14,081 Stop, no. 742 00:46:32,747 --> 00:46:34,080 What happened? 743 00:46:36,966 --> 00:46:40,003 You, you've been stabbed. 744 00:46:42,303 --> 00:46:43,136 In me. 745 00:46:45,707 --> 00:46:46,777 How could you? 746 00:46:50,766 --> 00:46:52,230 What have you done? 747 00:46:52,232 --> 00:46:53,063 Me? 748 00:46:53,065 --> 00:46:53,896 You pushed him. 749 00:46:53,898 --> 00:46:55,045 You stabbed him. 750 00:46:55,047 --> 00:46:55,878 It was an accident. 751 00:46:55,880 --> 00:46:56,990 It wasn't an accident. 752 00:46:58,210 --> 00:46:59,041 It's fine. 753 00:46:59,043 --> 00:47:01,360 It clearly is not fine. 754 00:47:01,362 --> 00:47:03,216 Help me. 755 00:47:03,218 --> 00:47:05,608 Oh god, what are we gonna do? 756 00:47:05,610 --> 00:47:06,828 It's okay, I have it all figured out. 757 00:47:06,830 --> 00:47:08,392 No you don't. 758 00:47:08,394 --> 00:47:09,556 He's not even dead yet. 759 00:47:12,759 --> 00:47:14,537 Right, now he's dead. 760 00:47:15,620 --> 00:47:17,087 What about The Inspector? 761 00:47:22,176 --> 00:47:23,455 Oh no. 762 00:47:23,457 --> 00:47:26,555 Bernard, I couldn't take it anymore. 763 00:47:26,557 --> 00:47:28,307 What else could I do? 764 00:47:29,277 --> 00:47:31,179 It's okay, we'll sort it out. 765 00:47:31,181 --> 00:47:33,681 We'll be, I don't know, we'll. 766 00:47:34,711 --> 00:47:36,628 We'll do what you said. 767 00:47:37,649 --> 00:47:40,428 We'll blame it on Mildred. 768 00:47:40,430 --> 00:47:42,263 But he's in my room. 769 00:47:52,960 --> 00:47:54,543 No, it's no good. 770 00:47:58,074 --> 00:48:00,574 Okay um, here's what happened. 771 00:48:01,870 --> 00:48:05,408 Cecil is sleeping her after an argument with you. 772 00:48:05,410 --> 00:48:09,683 Mildred furious that Cecil has been sleeping with you. 773 00:48:10,559 --> 00:48:13,218 Oh and flaunting it in front of everyone at the show. 774 00:48:13,220 --> 00:48:14,958 Yep and, and that. 775 00:48:14,960 --> 00:48:19,263 Um, sneaks out and stabs him in the chest. 776 00:48:21,780 --> 00:48:22,843 With my letter opener? 777 00:48:24,639 --> 00:48:25,472 Right. 778 00:48:26,730 --> 00:48:27,630 One second then. 779 00:48:33,730 --> 00:48:34,563 Ow. 780 00:48:42,592 --> 00:48:44,092 You're a genius. 781 00:48:45,753 --> 00:48:46,586 Well. 782 00:48:48,140 --> 00:48:49,538 Do you love me Bernard? 783 00:48:49,540 --> 00:48:50,373 Yes. 784 00:48:51,220 --> 00:48:53,118 And you'll treat me kind? 785 00:48:53,120 --> 00:48:54,638 Yes I will. 786 00:48:55,497 --> 00:48:56,328 I'm alright. 787 00:49:07,566 --> 00:49:08,649 Oh Bernard. 788 00:49:15,588 --> 00:49:17,171 Oh hello big boy. 789 00:49:54,024 --> 00:49:56,606 ♪ Cha cha ha ♪ 790 00:49:57,542 --> 00:49:58,709 That's mine. 791 00:50:00,741 --> 00:50:01,861 Bernard! 792 00:50:01,863 --> 00:50:02,714 Murder. 793 00:50:02,716 --> 00:50:03,738 Bernard get the bags. 794 00:50:03,740 --> 00:50:04,612 You're talking about murder. 795 00:50:04,614 --> 00:50:07,377 Boat man. 796 00:50:07,379 --> 00:50:08,513 Help me, somebody help me. 797 00:50:10,396 --> 00:50:12,929 Stay away from us. 798 00:50:18,183 --> 00:50:20,783 They'll be finding him soon. 799 00:50:20,785 --> 00:50:22,224 Do you really think The Inspector 800 00:50:22,226 --> 00:50:23,333 will believe it was Mildred? 801 00:50:24,542 --> 00:50:25,413 I hope so. 802 00:50:26,852 --> 00:50:28,458 Not that she's smart. 803 00:50:28,460 --> 00:50:30,738 I mean there's no real evidence. 804 00:50:30,740 --> 00:50:33,040 We all have as much motive as her if not more. 805 00:50:34,620 --> 00:50:35,770 He has to believe it. 806 00:50:36,690 --> 00:50:38,373 What if she can talk him round? 807 00:50:39,280 --> 00:50:41,848 She seems to have a knack for authority. 808 00:50:41,850 --> 00:50:42,798 Well, we just have to make sure 809 00:50:42,800 --> 00:50:44,300 that she can't talk him round. 810 00:50:46,940 --> 00:50:47,773 You're right. 811 00:50:48,930 --> 00:50:50,728 Dead people can't talk. 812 00:50:50,730 --> 00:50:52,778 No, no, I didn't mean it like that. 813 00:50:52,780 --> 00:50:54,148 If she was to kill herself 814 00:50:54,150 --> 00:50:56,838 then she wouldn't be able to say that she didn't do it. 815 00:50:56,840 --> 00:50:59,640 And if she was to leave a suicide note then even better. 816 00:51:02,160 --> 00:51:03,098 What's this? 817 00:51:03,100 --> 00:51:04,418 Her suicide note. 818 00:51:04,420 --> 00:51:05,458 But how did you? 819 00:51:05,460 --> 00:51:07,560 Oh it doesn't matter, it's the only way. 820 00:51:08,680 --> 00:51:09,958 No. 821 00:51:09,960 --> 00:51:12,583 I can't do any more murders. 822 00:51:18,890 --> 00:51:20,253 Oh Bernard can't you see? 823 00:51:21,212 --> 00:51:24,173 What else can we do? 824 00:51:25,749 --> 00:51:26,688 You have to do it. 825 00:51:26,690 --> 00:51:29,496 Me, no, no I can't. 826 00:51:29,498 --> 00:51:30,329 Her husband's just died. 827 00:51:30,331 --> 00:51:31,443 You have to do it. 828 00:51:32,870 --> 00:51:33,873 I did him. 829 00:51:36,070 --> 00:51:40,468 Anyway, do you know what they do murderers inside? 830 00:51:40,470 --> 00:51:42,303 Oh, especially women. 831 00:51:43,340 --> 00:51:44,553 It wouldn't be fair. 832 00:51:46,500 --> 00:51:49,813 If anything, we're being kind. 833 00:51:52,120 --> 00:51:55,373 Well, if it's the kind thing. 834 00:51:55,375 --> 00:51:58,125 Oh it is Bernard, really it is. 835 00:51:59,810 --> 00:52:02,298 Here, you'll need this. 836 00:52:02,300 --> 00:52:04,368 Where did you get that? 837 00:52:04,370 --> 00:52:05,220 The kind thing. 838 00:52:19,680 --> 00:52:20,758 Okay. 839 00:52:20,760 --> 00:52:21,847 Just tiptoe in. 840 00:52:23,010 --> 00:52:26,123 Turn the handle and stab stab. 841 00:52:27,670 --> 00:52:29,248 I'll cover up for us. 842 00:52:29,250 --> 00:52:30,083 Simple. 843 00:52:31,320 --> 00:52:33,817 Just turn the handle and stab stab. 844 00:52:38,225 --> 00:52:39,056 Murder! 845 00:52:39,058 --> 00:52:39,963 What no? 846 00:52:39,965 --> 00:52:40,796 What's going on? 847 00:52:40,798 --> 00:52:41,629 Stab stab. 848 00:52:41,631 --> 00:52:42,845 I mean, um, no wait. 849 00:52:42,847 --> 00:52:44,093 There's been a murder. 850 00:52:45,640 --> 00:52:46,638 Cubbies. 851 00:52:46,640 --> 00:52:48,090 You've got one already, good. 852 00:52:50,240 --> 00:52:51,073 Follow me. 853 00:52:52,190 --> 00:52:53,023 Come on Bernard. 854 00:52:55,192 --> 00:52:57,008 Right, that's it, we're leaving. 855 00:52:57,010 --> 00:52:58,988 But we've paid for three nights. 856 00:52:58,990 --> 00:53:00,350 No we're leaving. 857 00:53:03,850 --> 00:53:06,414 Stand back you vermin. 858 00:53:06,416 --> 00:53:10,061 Have some respect for the dead. 859 00:53:10,063 --> 00:53:11,628 What the? 860 00:53:11,630 --> 00:53:13,230 You've got us all up for this. 861 00:53:14,160 --> 00:53:15,863 She's been murdered. 862 00:53:18,492 --> 00:53:20,117 He did it. 863 00:53:21,730 --> 00:53:22,621 Did not. 864 00:53:22,623 --> 00:53:24,858 He did it in the night. 865 00:53:24,860 --> 00:53:26,258 Murderer. 866 00:53:26,260 --> 00:53:28,569 Calm down, the chicken probably... 867 00:53:28,571 --> 00:53:29,405 Henrietta. 868 00:53:29,407 --> 00:53:31,828 Henrietta probably wasn't murdered. 869 00:53:31,830 --> 00:53:33,078 We'll have to investigate. 870 00:53:33,080 --> 00:53:34,413 Yes we will. 871 00:53:35,760 --> 00:53:37,248 Inspector. 872 00:53:37,250 --> 00:53:40,558 So sorry, we didn't mean to wake you. 873 00:53:40,560 --> 00:53:41,391 Not at all, 874 00:53:41,393 --> 00:53:43,548 this is a job for the Council if ever there was. 875 00:53:43,550 --> 00:53:46,032 Oh no, no, no, not at all. 876 00:53:46,034 --> 00:53:47,956 This is absolutely nothing. 877 00:53:47,958 --> 00:53:49,858 Oh contrare, this is very important. 878 00:53:51,310 --> 00:53:52,908 Besides I've been observing you all. 879 00:53:52,910 --> 00:53:55,723 Watching you, keeping an eye on you, making notes. 880 00:53:56,752 --> 00:53:57,585 Pervert. 881 00:54:00,560 --> 00:54:02,608 To find the killer we simply need to line up the suspects 882 00:54:02,610 --> 00:54:04,318 and the murderer will reveal themselves. 883 00:54:04,320 --> 00:54:06,278 Right, everyone here? 884 00:54:06,280 --> 00:54:08,037 Cecil and Sonya aren't. 885 00:54:08,039 --> 00:54:08,870 Oh typical. 886 00:54:08,872 --> 00:54:09,703 Where are they? 887 00:54:09,705 --> 00:54:11,080 Sonya's room. 888 00:54:11,082 --> 00:54:12,739 Interesting. 889 00:54:12,741 --> 00:54:13,572 Bernard go get them. 890 00:54:13,574 --> 00:54:15,768 Really, I mean we should probably just let them sleep. 891 00:54:15,770 --> 00:54:17,749 Bernard go get them. 892 00:54:22,729 --> 00:54:23,942 Ah there she is. 893 00:54:23,944 --> 00:54:25,696 There's been a murder. 894 00:54:26,531 --> 00:54:29,712 Yes we know, the um, Henrietta, the um. 895 00:54:29,714 --> 00:54:31,308 Why? 896 00:54:31,310 --> 00:54:32,458 Oh why? 897 00:54:32,460 --> 00:54:34,513 At last, someone who cares. 898 00:54:35,361 --> 00:54:37,728 Why him? 899 00:54:37,730 --> 00:54:40,068 Oh why? 900 00:54:40,070 --> 00:54:43,038 Thank you my dear but she is a she. 901 00:54:43,040 --> 00:54:44,543 You've had some of her eggs. 902 00:54:45,378 --> 00:54:46,209 What? 903 00:54:46,211 --> 00:54:47,743 Someone's murdered the chicken. 904 00:54:52,240 --> 00:54:56,766 Oh really, why? 905 00:54:56,768 --> 00:54:57,970 It wasn't me? 906 00:54:59,545 --> 00:55:01,386 It's a serial killer. 907 00:55:01,388 --> 00:55:02,221 Doom! 908 00:55:03,268 --> 00:55:05,806 Everyone calm down it's not a serial killer, it's not. 909 00:55:05,808 --> 00:55:06,641 Ah. 910 00:55:09,800 --> 00:55:10,633 Idiots. 911 00:55:16,219 --> 00:55:18,136 Cecil, my dear Cecil. 912 00:55:19,300 --> 00:55:20,131 Step aside, step aside. 913 00:55:20,133 --> 00:55:22,991 Coming through, coming through. 914 00:55:22,993 --> 00:55:23,824 I think I'm going to feint. 915 00:55:27,491 --> 00:55:28,932 Madam, step away from him, 916 00:55:28,934 --> 00:55:31,767 you're contaminating the evidence. 917 00:55:37,020 --> 00:55:38,020 Delicious. 918 00:55:40,184 --> 00:55:42,325 He's been dead for a while. 919 00:55:44,296 --> 00:55:45,479 A double killing. 920 00:55:46,904 --> 00:55:49,223 First this man, then the chicken. 921 00:55:50,270 --> 00:55:51,758 Henrietta, her name was Henrietta. 922 00:55:51,760 --> 00:55:53,260 Everyone back to your rooms. 923 00:55:54,126 --> 00:55:54,957 This is ridiculous. 924 00:55:54,959 --> 00:55:56,658 We were just leaving. 925 00:55:56,660 --> 00:55:58,558 Wait, that's it. 926 00:55:58,560 --> 00:56:00,402 You're all suspects. 927 00:56:00,404 --> 00:56:01,478 - No. - Hold on what? 928 00:56:01,480 --> 00:56:03,835 There is a serial killer on the loose 929 00:56:03,837 --> 00:56:06,578 and I said nobody leaves. 930 00:56:06,580 --> 00:56:07,858 Now everyone back to your rooms. 931 00:56:07,860 --> 00:56:10,852 I told you it was a serial killer. 932 00:56:11,868 --> 00:56:14,918 - This is ridiculous. - Don't you hit my husband. 933 00:56:20,510 --> 00:56:22,608 Not you Bernard. 934 00:56:22,610 --> 00:56:23,441 Me? 935 00:56:23,443 --> 00:56:24,443 Yes, you. 936 00:56:26,270 --> 00:56:27,888 Aren't you forgetting something? 937 00:56:27,890 --> 00:56:28,723 Sorry. 938 00:56:33,820 --> 00:56:36,413 Breakfasts, it's almost time. 939 00:56:37,298 --> 00:56:39,228 Oh, right. 940 00:56:39,230 --> 00:56:41,773 Hey, you don't run the hotel. 941 00:56:42,955 --> 00:56:44,388 I decide when the breakfasts go out. 942 00:56:44,390 --> 00:56:47,048 Bernard, do as The Inspector says. 943 00:56:47,050 --> 00:56:51,353 This is a crime scene and I am in charge now. 944 00:56:57,544 --> 00:56:59,557 This is no good. 945 00:56:59,559 --> 00:57:00,991 This is no good. 946 00:57:03,961 --> 00:57:05,344 Doom! 947 00:57:05,346 --> 00:57:06,179 Shut up! 948 00:57:07,385 --> 00:57:09,888 Bernard, tidy that up. 949 00:57:11,600 --> 00:57:14,218 Well it seems like he died from a stab wound. 950 00:57:14,220 --> 00:57:15,698 Though of course we won't know for sure 951 00:57:15,700 --> 00:57:17,988 until he's had an autopsy. 952 00:57:17,990 --> 00:57:21,878 Dr. Lewis, I presume you can conduct a thorough examination? 953 00:57:21,880 --> 00:57:23,498 Of course. 954 00:57:23,500 --> 00:57:24,983 Nice and thorough. 955 00:57:25,850 --> 00:57:27,123 Good, good. 956 00:57:28,360 --> 00:57:30,923 Well there seems to be very little evidence to go on. 957 00:57:32,280 --> 00:57:33,133 The knife? 958 00:57:34,860 --> 00:57:36,263 Yes, the knife. 959 00:57:38,370 --> 00:57:39,570 It's from the kitchen. 960 00:57:40,570 --> 00:57:43,158 Who has access to the kitchen? 961 00:57:43,160 --> 00:57:43,993 Galley. 962 00:57:45,360 --> 00:57:46,888 What? 963 00:57:46,890 --> 00:57:49,838 It's called a galley, not a kitchen. 964 00:57:49,840 --> 00:57:52,403 Right, well who has access to the galley? 965 00:57:53,590 --> 00:57:54,678 Well anyone really. 966 00:57:54,680 --> 00:57:57,648 Um, it's not like it's locked. 967 00:57:57,650 --> 00:57:59,898 But it's mainly used by you? 968 00:57:59,900 --> 00:58:00,733 And Mildred. 969 00:58:03,570 --> 00:58:05,118 Well a killer will often use a weapon 970 00:58:05,120 --> 00:58:07,158 they have easy access to. 971 00:58:07,160 --> 00:58:10,708 Unless it's someone trying to disguise their actions. 972 00:58:10,710 --> 00:58:12,333 Frame someone. 973 00:58:14,000 --> 00:58:14,831 Yes, thank you doctor, 974 00:58:14,833 --> 00:58:16,691 I'll do the investigating. 975 00:58:20,359 --> 00:58:22,887 You think it's me, don't you? 976 00:58:22,889 --> 00:58:24,188 Calm down madam. 977 00:58:24,190 --> 00:58:25,133 Poor Cecil. 978 00:58:26,832 --> 00:58:29,780 I loved that repulsive man all my life, 979 00:58:29,782 --> 00:58:31,628 and now he's dead. 980 00:58:31,630 --> 00:58:32,668 Console yourself woman. 981 00:58:32,670 --> 00:58:34,668 I'm not saying that you did do it. 982 00:58:34,670 --> 00:58:39,348 But I have to be open to the idea that you did do it. 983 00:58:39,350 --> 00:58:40,228 Why? 984 00:58:40,230 --> 00:58:43,070 Trust me madam, I will find the killer. 985 00:58:43,072 --> 00:58:44,631 Whoever it is. 986 00:58:44,633 --> 00:58:46,033 Even if it is you. 987 00:58:50,370 --> 00:58:54,683 You crept into the lobby, hungry for blood. 988 00:58:55,720 --> 00:58:58,033 And you saw him sleeping. 989 00:58:59,210 --> 00:59:01,098 Defenseless. 990 00:59:01,100 --> 00:59:04,308 And you raised your weapon and you stabbed him 991 00:59:04,310 --> 00:59:05,427 and you killed him. 992 00:59:06,278 --> 00:59:07,463 Admit it. 993 00:59:07,465 --> 00:59:08,944 Admit it! 994 00:59:08,946 --> 00:59:10,258 Admit it! 995 00:59:10,260 --> 00:59:11,673 Is this gonna take long? 996 00:59:14,170 --> 00:59:15,070 Yes madam it is. 997 00:59:16,348 --> 00:59:17,179 Oh. 998 00:59:18,014 --> 00:59:21,428 People saw Cecil go into your room after the show. 999 00:59:21,430 --> 00:59:23,148 He was angry. 1000 00:59:23,150 --> 00:59:24,768 He hit me. 1001 00:59:24,770 --> 00:59:28,223 And then we made love, just like most nights. 1002 00:59:30,665 --> 00:59:31,928 And then you went to bed? 1003 00:59:31,930 --> 00:59:34,738 Yes I did my rounds and I went straight to bed. 1004 00:59:34,740 --> 00:59:36,538 You didn't hear anything funny? 1005 00:59:36,540 --> 00:59:38,177 I hear fish. 1006 00:59:40,220 --> 00:59:41,523 You're a hard case hey? 1007 00:59:43,590 --> 00:59:45,268 Obviously I didn't do it. 1008 00:59:45,270 --> 00:59:46,478 Isn't it normally the spouse? 1009 00:59:46,480 --> 00:59:48,966 I'll ask the questions. 1010 00:59:48,968 --> 00:59:52,291 This is the worst hotel that I have ever been in. 1011 00:59:52,293 --> 00:59:54,898 What are you going to do about him and Henrietta? 1012 00:59:54,900 --> 00:59:56,123 Why would I do it? 1013 00:59:57,660 --> 01:00:00,018 I love chicken. 1014 01:00:00,020 --> 01:00:02,568 Please, I want to talk about Cecil. 1015 01:00:02,570 --> 01:00:05,168 I don't want to bad mouth the dead but... 1016 01:00:05,170 --> 01:00:06,828 I never could stand him. 1017 01:00:06,830 --> 01:00:09,348 Always after his pound of flesh. 1018 01:00:09,350 --> 01:00:10,183 He stank. 1019 01:00:11,080 --> 01:00:15,578 If you want to question me further, I'll be in my room. 1020 01:00:15,580 --> 01:00:16,630 Cecil, um... 1021 01:00:18,930 --> 01:00:21,018 He's just not our sort of people is he. 1022 01:00:21,020 --> 01:00:25,068 Yeah he treated me badly but, he's my boss. 1023 01:00:25,070 --> 01:00:26,163 Nobody liked him. 1024 01:00:28,254 --> 01:00:30,578 It could have been anyone. 1025 01:00:30,580 --> 01:00:31,578 Yes. 1026 01:00:31,580 --> 01:00:32,873 I think it could be. 1027 01:00:36,280 --> 01:00:37,303 Who is it? 1028 01:00:38,160 --> 01:00:39,160 It's me. 1029 01:00:40,392 --> 01:00:41,593 Oh, come in. 1030 01:00:43,290 --> 01:00:44,540 Who'd you think it was? 1031 01:00:45,380 --> 01:00:46,213 No one. 1032 01:00:48,855 --> 01:00:50,498 That was intense. 1033 01:00:50,500 --> 01:00:52,758 Do you think he's onto us? 1034 01:00:52,760 --> 01:00:53,810 That's hard to say. 1035 01:00:54,700 --> 01:00:55,953 No, I don't think so. 1036 01:00:56,900 --> 01:00:58,973 I gave him enough hints that it was Mildred. 1037 01:01:00,190 --> 01:01:01,313 She's smart. 1038 01:01:02,320 --> 01:01:03,670 We'll get away with this. 1039 01:01:04,636 --> 01:01:05,736 We just need to be um. 1040 01:01:07,080 --> 01:01:10,463 More uh, well um. 1041 01:01:12,400 --> 01:01:13,233 Smarter. 1042 01:01:15,090 --> 01:01:15,923 Not now. 1043 01:01:18,372 --> 01:01:19,628 Dr. Lewis. 1044 01:01:19,630 --> 01:01:20,463 Doctor. 1045 01:01:22,440 --> 01:01:24,578 I told you he's not answering it. 1046 01:01:24,580 --> 01:01:25,413 Open it. 1047 01:01:32,370 --> 01:01:33,408 Doctor. 1048 01:01:33,410 --> 01:01:34,393 Let me through. 1049 01:01:36,598 --> 01:01:38,431 Dr. Lewis. 1050 01:01:40,053 --> 01:01:41,303 Ah the smell. 1051 01:01:42,335 --> 01:01:43,856 Dr. Lewis hello? 1052 01:01:43,858 --> 01:01:45,784 Oh yes. 1053 01:01:45,786 --> 01:01:46,856 Oh. 1054 01:01:46,858 --> 01:01:48,025 You have uh. 1055 01:01:49,730 --> 01:01:50,738 Oops. 1056 01:01:50,740 --> 01:01:51,573 Messy me. 1057 01:01:55,310 --> 01:01:56,413 Did you um. 1058 01:01:58,159 --> 01:01:59,638 What um. 1059 01:01:59,640 --> 01:02:01,358 Work out what happened? 1060 01:02:01,360 --> 01:02:02,263 Precisely. 1061 01:02:03,390 --> 01:02:04,863 What happened? 1062 01:02:06,210 --> 01:02:08,628 Murdered, that's it. 1063 01:02:08,630 --> 01:02:10,278 Murdered. 1064 01:02:10,280 --> 01:02:12,338 And left for me. 1065 01:02:12,340 --> 01:02:14,301 Yeah, no what I meant was... 1066 01:02:15,136 --> 01:02:15,969 Oh god. 1067 01:02:17,220 --> 01:02:19,138 How was he murdered? 1068 01:02:19,140 --> 01:02:20,684 Stabbed. 1069 01:02:22,660 --> 01:02:23,773 In his sleep. 1070 01:02:25,668 --> 01:02:26,860 Looky here. 1071 01:02:28,460 --> 01:02:29,413 That's a kidney. 1072 01:02:30,290 --> 01:02:34,228 Um, so no one heard him scream. 1073 01:02:34,230 --> 01:02:38,398 Precisely, he knew his murderer. 1074 01:02:38,400 --> 01:02:41,078 Everyone knows everyone here Inspector. 1075 01:02:41,080 --> 01:02:43,538 Precisely, everyone knows everyone 1076 01:02:43,540 --> 01:02:44,991 and no one knows nothing. 1077 01:02:44,993 --> 01:02:46,898 This is pointless. 1078 01:02:46,900 --> 01:02:49,148 Precisely. 1079 01:02:49,150 --> 01:02:50,621 Inspector. 1080 01:02:55,120 --> 01:02:56,773 I know who did it you know? 1081 01:02:57,627 --> 01:02:58,460 What sorry? 1082 01:02:59,350 --> 01:03:01,100 They didn't ask but I know. 1083 01:03:03,020 --> 01:03:03,853 Really? 1084 01:03:05,060 --> 01:03:08,233 Yes, you. 1085 01:03:09,450 --> 01:03:14,450 And that pretty little thing you're having a thing with. 1086 01:03:15,830 --> 01:03:16,988 This, this is ridiculous. 1087 01:03:16,990 --> 01:03:20,273 You, you are crazy. 1088 01:03:21,324 --> 01:03:23,353 We're all a little crazy. 1089 01:03:25,980 --> 01:03:26,813 Aren't we? 1090 01:03:28,909 --> 01:03:30,316 Hmm. 1091 01:03:31,543 --> 01:03:32,376 Hmm. 1092 01:03:37,988 --> 01:03:38,821 Hmm. 1093 01:04:13,812 --> 01:04:15,513 Splishy splashy, splishy splashy, splishy. 1094 01:04:17,916 --> 01:04:19,793 Oh you are so pretty. 1095 01:04:22,298 --> 01:04:25,783 Ah, not my face. 1096 01:04:27,244 --> 01:04:28,075 Hello. 1097 01:04:28,077 --> 01:04:30,353 Saved by the knock of opportunity. 1098 01:04:33,150 --> 01:04:34,850 You've come for the body have you? 1099 01:04:39,839 --> 01:04:41,218 You both came? 1100 01:04:41,220 --> 01:04:42,570 You may want to sit down. 1101 01:04:51,030 --> 01:04:52,697 So, you know do you? 1102 01:04:54,250 --> 01:04:55,208 Know? 1103 01:04:55,210 --> 01:04:56,588 Know what? 1104 01:04:56,590 --> 01:04:58,073 You said you knew. 1105 01:04:59,050 --> 01:05:00,267 I was joking. 1106 01:05:02,361 --> 01:05:03,641 What do you want? 1107 01:05:03,643 --> 01:05:04,474 What? 1108 01:05:04,476 --> 01:05:05,538 What do you want to keep quiet? 1109 01:05:05,540 --> 01:05:07,708 We're not gonna hurt you. 1110 01:05:07,710 --> 01:05:09,813 We're not cold blooded killers. 1111 01:05:11,190 --> 01:05:12,028 How about a bigger room? 1112 01:05:12,030 --> 01:05:12,861 Free rent. 1113 01:05:12,863 --> 01:05:13,694 We can do that. 1114 01:05:13,696 --> 01:05:14,913 Yes, we can do that. 1115 01:05:17,072 --> 01:05:19,428 All you have to do is keep quiet. 1116 01:05:19,430 --> 01:05:20,878 You can do that? 1117 01:05:20,880 --> 01:05:22,133 I can do that. 1118 01:05:24,990 --> 01:05:26,243 How can I trust you? 1119 01:05:27,100 --> 01:05:30,110 Now why did you have to go and say that? 1120 01:05:31,198 --> 01:05:32,318 Now hold on a second. 1121 01:05:32,320 --> 01:05:34,638 Of course you can trust us. 1122 01:05:34,640 --> 01:05:35,473 No I can't. 1123 01:05:36,390 --> 01:05:37,313 You're killers. 1124 01:05:38,544 --> 01:05:39,998 No we're not. 1125 01:05:40,000 --> 01:05:41,758 Yes you are. 1126 01:05:41,760 --> 01:05:43,291 He's right. 1127 01:05:43,293 --> 01:05:44,124 We are! 1128 01:05:44,126 --> 01:05:45,080 Ah, no! 1129 01:05:45,082 --> 01:05:46,895 Get the knife you idiot. 1130 01:05:55,710 --> 01:05:58,173 We're not murderers, we really aren't. 1131 01:05:59,785 --> 01:06:00,673 I can't reach it. 1132 01:06:00,675 --> 01:06:01,862 Just find it. 1133 01:06:04,641 --> 01:06:05,575 Sorry. 1134 01:06:05,577 --> 01:06:07,172 This really isn't us. 1135 01:06:07,174 --> 01:06:08,554 Just do it. 1136 01:06:08,556 --> 01:06:09,973 Just do it! 1137 01:06:11,190 --> 01:06:12,678 Well this is just great. 1138 01:06:12,680 --> 01:06:14,519 I couldn't do it. 1139 01:06:17,505 --> 01:06:18,888 I just froze. 1140 01:06:18,890 --> 01:06:20,123 What do we do now? 1141 01:06:21,401 --> 01:06:22,363 I'll sort it. 1142 01:06:46,844 --> 01:06:48,776 Two ounces of Darjeeling. 1143 01:06:48,778 --> 01:06:50,588 How's the investigation going? 1144 01:06:50,590 --> 01:06:52,880 It would be amiss to discuss them. 1145 01:06:54,356 --> 01:06:55,333 Are those bourbons? 1146 01:06:57,080 --> 01:06:57,913 Bourbons. 1147 01:07:00,748 --> 01:07:02,128 Chocolatey. 1148 01:07:02,130 --> 01:07:03,373 Any ideas yet? 1149 01:07:05,695 --> 01:07:07,608 Well, everyone has a reason. 1150 01:07:07,610 --> 01:07:09,983 The murderer could have been any one of you. 1151 01:07:11,538 --> 01:07:15,077 Tea? 1152 01:07:15,079 --> 01:07:18,708 Tea. 1153 01:07:18,710 --> 01:07:20,160 I haven't had tea for months. 1154 01:07:22,950 --> 01:07:24,423 But you have the power. 1155 01:07:25,840 --> 01:07:27,083 I was just thinking, 1156 01:07:27,940 --> 01:07:31,623 that if you were to make the right decision, 1157 01:07:34,190 --> 01:07:39,190 it could be very beneficial for you. 1158 01:07:39,308 --> 01:07:42,108 Financially? 1159 01:07:42,110 --> 01:07:43,693 Yes, financially. 1160 01:08:06,700 --> 01:08:09,450 I suspect you're all eager to know who the killer is? 1161 01:08:13,290 --> 01:08:14,940 Oh get on with it. 1162 01:08:15,910 --> 01:08:16,919 Ah. 1163 01:08:18,310 --> 01:08:19,143 Right. 1164 01:08:20,110 --> 01:08:20,943 The killer. 1165 01:08:21,920 --> 01:08:24,688 After a long and complex investigation, 1166 01:08:24,690 --> 01:08:26,328 I've come to the conclusion of the events 1167 01:08:26,330 --> 01:08:28,408 that transpired last night. 1168 01:08:28,410 --> 01:08:29,241 Transpired? 1169 01:08:29,243 --> 01:08:30,878 He means what happened. 1170 01:08:30,880 --> 01:08:33,354 Who killed Cecil. 1171 01:08:33,356 --> 01:08:34,712 Then why didn't he bleedin' say so. 1172 01:08:34,714 --> 01:08:35,547 Sorry can I continue. 1173 01:08:36,950 --> 01:08:41,295 So uh, if I could have a volunteer. 1174 01:08:41,297 --> 01:08:42,849 I'll do it. 1175 01:08:44,340 --> 01:08:45,173 Good. 1176 01:08:48,545 --> 01:08:49,488 Sit in the chair. 1177 01:08:49,490 --> 01:08:51,703 Oh, it's very comfy. 1178 01:09:02,310 --> 01:09:06,398 The killer waited down here in the shadows 1179 01:09:06,400 --> 01:09:08,883 until the victim was asleep. 1180 01:09:09,850 --> 01:09:12,853 The killer snuck out of his hiding place. 1181 01:09:18,719 --> 01:09:19,590 The kill... 1182 01:09:19,592 --> 01:09:20,423 Sorry could stop snoring? 1183 01:09:20,425 --> 01:09:22,868 I'm just trying to make it authentic. 1184 01:09:22,870 --> 01:09:23,703 He did snore. 1185 01:09:24,630 --> 01:09:26,603 Yes, but it's fine without the snoring. 1186 01:09:30,950 --> 01:09:33,218 The killer saw the victim, 1187 01:09:33,220 --> 01:09:34,938 he drew his weapon 1188 01:09:34,940 --> 01:09:37,528 and with a bloodthirsty glint in his eye 1189 01:09:37,530 --> 01:09:40,694 he raised his dagger and stabbed the victim in the heart. 1190 01:09:42,191 --> 01:09:44,659 I'll kill you. 1191 01:09:44,661 --> 01:09:46,003 No one tried to kill you. 1192 01:09:46,005 --> 01:09:48,118 He stabbed me. 1193 01:09:48,120 --> 01:09:50,698 Nobody stabbed you, you're fine. 1194 01:09:50,700 --> 01:09:51,873 Ah, true. 1195 01:09:54,510 --> 01:09:58,338 So as you can see the victim didn't stand a chance. 1196 01:09:58,340 --> 01:09:59,473 Who was the killer? 1197 01:10:00,570 --> 01:10:03,233 Exactly, who? 1198 01:10:08,538 --> 01:10:13,538 Someone who knew the victim. 1199 01:10:16,249 --> 01:10:21,249 Someone who knew he was a heavy sleeper. 1200 01:10:26,511 --> 01:10:28,344 Someone with a motive. 1201 01:10:38,863 --> 01:10:41,530 And someone who wanted him dead. 1202 01:10:47,240 --> 01:10:49,348 It was her, Miss Sonya Beatrice. 1203 01:10:49,350 --> 01:10:51,688 She had the motive, he was using her, bribing her 1204 01:10:51,690 --> 01:10:54,549 and she had the means. 1205 01:10:54,551 --> 01:10:55,382 Do you deny it, eh? 1206 01:10:55,384 --> 01:10:56,215 What's the matter? 1207 01:10:56,217 --> 01:10:58,240 Cat got your tongue? 1208 01:10:58,242 --> 01:10:59,094 Huh? 1209 01:10:59,096 --> 01:11:00,764 Well I didn't. 1210 01:11:00,766 --> 01:11:02,305 She didn't do it. 1211 01:11:02,307 --> 01:11:03,264 What? 1212 01:11:03,266 --> 01:11:04,128 It wasn't her. 1213 01:11:04,130 --> 01:11:05,958 Well how do you know? 1214 01:11:05,960 --> 01:11:06,960 Because it was me. 1215 01:11:09,390 --> 01:11:10,876 I killed him. 1216 01:11:10,878 --> 01:11:11,722 What? 1217 01:11:11,724 --> 01:11:12,618 I thought you said it was Sonya. 1218 01:11:12,620 --> 01:11:14,448 Yes, that was a clever ruse. 1219 01:11:14,450 --> 01:11:16,468 I knew the true killer would give themselves away. 1220 01:11:16,470 --> 01:11:19,078 Ah, put him in the slammer. 1221 01:11:19,080 --> 01:11:21,349 He needs to be tried first. 1222 01:11:21,351 --> 01:11:23,658 I have the power set by the Council to judge him. 1223 01:11:23,660 --> 01:11:27,450 We shall hold the trial and the sentencing right here. 1224 01:11:30,701 --> 01:11:32,034 You. 1225 01:11:42,908 --> 01:11:44,176 Captain. 1226 01:11:44,178 --> 01:11:46,258 May I have a moment with the prisoner? 1227 01:11:46,260 --> 01:11:49,018 The Inspector said I had to guard him 1228 01:11:49,020 --> 01:11:51,298 while he sets up the court proceedings. 1229 01:11:51,300 --> 01:11:53,550 But he didn't say I couldn't have visitors. 1230 01:11:54,460 --> 01:11:55,738 He said no talking. 1231 01:11:55,740 --> 01:11:56,571 Sorry. 1232 01:11:56,573 --> 01:11:57,837 That's talking. 1233 01:11:58,672 --> 01:12:00,021 Sorry. 1234 01:12:01,285 --> 01:12:03,086 Bernard, Bernard, shh. 1235 01:12:03,088 --> 01:12:05,501 Captain please, just a moment. 1236 01:12:05,503 --> 01:12:09,198 He's a dangerous criminal, I can't leave him alone. 1237 01:12:09,200 --> 01:12:11,355 I'm sure I'll be fine. 1238 01:12:11,357 --> 01:12:13,928 Besides you're not leaving him alone, 1239 01:12:13,930 --> 01:12:15,280 you're leaving him with me. 1240 01:12:18,111 --> 01:12:22,493 I, I could do with a, a toilet break. 1241 01:12:23,720 --> 01:12:25,063 You've got two minutes. 1242 01:12:27,172 --> 01:12:28,014 What was that for? 1243 01:12:28,016 --> 01:12:28,928 I didn't say anything. 1244 01:12:28,930 --> 01:12:30,753 That was for Henrietta. 1245 01:12:34,300 --> 01:12:36,418 Oh Bernie, are you okay? 1246 01:12:36,420 --> 01:12:37,567 No, not really. 1247 01:12:38,616 --> 01:12:40,688 I don't think it's gonna be a very fair trial. 1248 01:12:40,690 --> 01:12:42,440 I'm sure everything will be fine. 1249 01:12:44,100 --> 01:12:45,955 So I've spoken to Leonard. 1250 01:12:45,957 --> 01:12:46,788 Leonard? 1251 01:12:46,790 --> 01:12:47,655 The Inspector. 1252 01:12:47,657 --> 01:12:49,188 Right. 1253 01:12:49,190 --> 01:12:53,165 He's actually a very understanding man. 1254 01:12:53,167 --> 01:12:53,998 Really? 1255 01:12:54,000 --> 01:12:55,148 Yeah. 1256 01:12:55,150 --> 01:12:57,828 He thinks the hotel will pass the inspection. 1257 01:12:57,830 --> 01:12:59,818 Oh but he doesn't think Mildred is up for it. 1258 01:12:59,820 --> 01:13:00,678 What? 1259 01:13:00,680 --> 01:13:01,928 Well he doesn't think she's fit enough 1260 01:13:01,930 --> 01:13:03,248 to run the hotel on her own so... 1261 01:13:03,250 --> 01:13:06,348 No, weren't you talking to him about me. 1262 01:13:06,350 --> 01:13:08,000 Trying to make him go easy on me? 1263 01:13:09,068 --> 01:13:11,318 That's why I went to speak to him, 1264 01:13:11,320 --> 01:13:14,923 but the conversation seemed to change. 1265 01:13:16,760 --> 01:13:18,588 You are guilty. 1266 01:13:18,590 --> 01:13:20,040 I mean you did commit murder. 1267 01:13:21,097 --> 01:13:22,058 No I didn't. 1268 01:13:22,060 --> 01:13:22,891 You killed him. 1269 01:13:22,893 --> 01:13:24,703 You pushed him onto the knife. 1270 01:13:26,310 --> 01:13:27,623 Oh Bernie. 1271 01:13:28,700 --> 01:13:30,163 We had a good time. 1272 01:13:31,622 --> 01:13:32,523 But things change. 1273 01:13:34,310 --> 01:13:38,183 People grow and then you have to move on. 1274 01:13:39,280 --> 01:13:41,753 But, it's only been a day. 1275 01:13:43,617 --> 01:13:46,043 I'm sorry Bernie, truly I am. 1276 01:13:51,190 --> 01:13:52,023 Sonya. 1277 01:14:01,383 --> 01:14:02,214 Who would have thought 1278 01:14:02,216 --> 01:14:03,828 we'd get to see a trial on our honeymoon? 1279 01:14:03,830 --> 01:14:06,025 Yes, who would have thought? 1280 01:14:06,027 --> 01:14:06,958 I know you're innocent. 1281 01:14:06,960 --> 01:14:08,687 Thanks Mrs. Ellis. 1282 01:14:14,430 --> 01:14:16,933 I pronounce this trial open. 1283 01:14:18,206 --> 01:14:21,028 We are here to try one Bernard Smithen 1284 01:14:21,030 --> 01:14:25,220 to determine if he's guilty, which he clearly is, 1285 01:14:25,222 --> 01:14:29,817 of the murder of Cecil Farthing and Henrietta the chicken. 1286 01:14:30,831 --> 01:14:31,831 Thank you. 1287 01:14:32,720 --> 01:14:34,113 The accused stand. 1288 01:14:35,970 --> 01:14:38,383 How do you plead to the charge of murder? 1289 01:14:40,740 --> 01:14:41,988 Guilty. 1290 01:14:41,990 --> 01:14:44,118 The defendant has pleaded guilty. 1291 01:14:44,120 --> 01:14:45,408 Guilty of falling of love. 1292 01:14:45,410 --> 01:14:46,338 Oh god. 1293 01:14:46,340 --> 01:14:48,478 Guilty of being led astray. 1294 01:14:48,480 --> 01:14:51,278 Guilty of thinking I could make this hotel a better place. 1295 01:14:51,280 --> 01:14:52,111 Guilty of always... 1296 01:14:52,113 --> 01:14:52,946 Very good. 1297 01:14:54,300 --> 01:14:56,278 As you're quite clearly guilty. 1298 01:14:56,280 --> 01:14:59,538 It is just left for me to sentence you. 1299 01:14:59,540 --> 01:15:01,498 But before I do, is there anybody that would like 1300 01:15:01,500 --> 01:15:04,633 to speak for Bernard's character? 1301 01:15:07,430 --> 01:15:08,558 I'll speak for him. 1302 01:15:08,560 --> 01:15:10,710 Go ahead, the floor is yours. 1303 01:15:12,250 --> 01:15:13,533 Shame on you all. 1304 01:15:14,405 --> 01:15:15,236 Oh here we go. 1305 01:15:15,238 --> 01:15:17,298 This is Bernard sitting here beside us. 1306 01:15:17,300 --> 01:15:19,928 The man who's looked after us all. 1307 01:15:19,930 --> 01:15:21,478 Where's Dr. Lewis? 1308 01:15:21,480 --> 01:15:23,830 You normally have a good word to say about him. 1309 01:15:25,633 --> 01:15:28,911 Bernard is the best man amongst us. 1310 01:15:28,913 --> 01:15:31,870 Sit down and shut up you old bag. 1311 01:15:31,872 --> 01:15:32,992 - And Henrietta the chicken. - Order. 1312 01:15:32,994 --> 01:15:34,345 - He killed my Cecil. - Order. 1313 01:15:36,500 --> 01:15:37,803 I said order! 1314 01:15:39,960 --> 01:15:42,523 Thank you Mrs. Ellis, will you sit down. 1315 01:15:43,790 --> 01:15:45,668 That was, passionate. 1316 01:15:45,670 --> 01:15:48,677 Oh shut up, you pushy little man. 1317 01:15:49,512 --> 01:15:50,913 Get out of my court. 1318 01:15:51,836 --> 01:15:53,118 Sorry love, I tried. 1319 01:15:53,120 --> 01:15:55,193 Thanks Mrs. Ellis, it helped. 1320 01:15:56,700 --> 01:15:57,533 I think. 1321 01:16:01,040 --> 01:16:03,500 Right, now that that's finished 1322 01:16:04,370 --> 01:16:06,668 is there anybody that would like to speak 1323 01:16:06,670 --> 01:16:08,777 against Bernard's character? 1324 01:16:16,378 --> 01:16:18,851 Furthermore, when was the last time 1325 01:16:18,853 --> 01:16:21,353 anyone had meat for breakfast? 1326 01:16:23,474 --> 01:16:27,998 And, he killed Henrietta. 1327 01:16:28,000 --> 01:16:29,411 No I didn't. 1328 01:16:30,246 --> 01:16:31,118 Silence. 1329 01:16:31,120 --> 01:16:33,518 You've had your chance to say your piece. 1330 01:16:33,520 --> 01:16:34,351 No I haven't. 1331 01:16:34,353 --> 01:16:36,388 Silence. 1332 01:16:36,390 --> 01:16:37,618 Thank you Captain. 1333 01:16:37,620 --> 01:16:38,670 You make take a seat. 1334 01:16:40,250 --> 01:16:42,418 Right, is that it? 1335 01:16:42,420 --> 01:16:44,499 The crumpet hasn't spoken yet. 1336 01:16:44,501 --> 01:16:45,344 Huh? 1337 01:16:45,346 --> 01:16:46,606 Cuckoo. 1338 01:16:46,608 --> 01:16:48,063 Hmm, go ahead. 1339 01:16:58,837 --> 01:17:00,254 What can I say? 1340 01:17:01,320 --> 01:17:05,513 It is clear to everyone here that Bernard is a simple fool. 1341 01:17:06,700 --> 01:17:10,213 But underneath that idiotic demeanor is a manipulative man. 1342 01:17:11,870 --> 01:17:12,843 A greedy man. 1343 01:17:14,240 --> 01:17:17,413 A man who will kill to get his own way. 1344 01:17:20,092 --> 01:17:21,942 A man who doesn't have his own spine. 1345 01:17:22,900 --> 01:17:23,933 Not like a real man. 1346 01:17:28,270 --> 01:17:30,203 He is a murderous snake. 1347 01:17:35,520 --> 01:17:36,353 Well said. 1348 01:17:38,420 --> 01:17:40,653 I have made my decision. 1349 01:17:42,082 --> 01:17:43,578 In the case of Bernard Smithen 1350 01:17:43,580 --> 01:17:48,108 I hereby find you guilty of murder in the first degree. 1351 01:17:48,110 --> 01:17:50,518 You shall be taken from the place from whence you came 1352 01:17:50,520 --> 01:17:53,038 and from there to a place of execution 1353 01:17:53,040 --> 01:17:57,028 where you shall be hung until your body be dead. 1354 01:17:57,030 --> 01:17:58,372 Dead. 1355 01:17:58,374 --> 01:17:59,676 Dead. 1356 01:17:59,678 --> 01:18:00,509 Dead. 1357 01:18:00,511 --> 01:18:01,344 Hang him. 1358 01:18:02,770 --> 01:18:04,408 To the gallows! 1359 01:18:04,410 --> 01:18:05,696 Murderer. 1360 01:18:05,698 --> 01:18:07,829 - No, wait, wait, wait. - On your feet young man. 1361 01:18:07,831 --> 01:18:08,919 Just wait, no, no, no. 1362 01:18:08,921 --> 01:18:09,970 I think we can get a better view from here. 1363 01:18:09,972 --> 01:18:11,628 Please, please, I demand a retrial. 1364 01:18:11,630 --> 01:18:15,253 No point, we'll still find you guilty. 1365 01:18:15,255 --> 01:18:16,086 Down. 1366 01:18:16,088 --> 01:18:19,363 - Weren't you my friend? - Surely this is illegal? 1367 01:18:20,240 --> 01:18:22,338 I am the law. 1368 01:18:22,340 --> 01:18:23,768 I will explain everything. 1369 01:18:23,770 --> 01:18:25,038 I will, I'll explain it. 1370 01:18:25,040 --> 01:18:27,638 Sorry Bernard, you made your choice. 1371 01:18:27,640 --> 01:18:30,683 Any last words? 1372 01:18:34,600 --> 01:18:35,433 I loved you. 1373 01:18:37,666 --> 01:18:38,723 I loved this hotel. 1374 01:18:40,380 --> 01:18:41,213 Very poetic. 1375 01:18:43,086 --> 01:18:43,939 Great. 1376 01:18:43,941 --> 01:18:45,373 How are you gonna run the hotel without me? 1377 01:18:46,960 --> 01:18:48,063 We'll figure it out. 1378 01:18:57,590 --> 01:18:58,790 You never let me play. 1379 01:19:11,569 --> 01:19:13,310 Shut him up. 1380 01:19:13,312 --> 01:19:14,312 Shut him up! 1381 01:19:23,454 --> 01:19:26,204 Poor Bernard, just like Tweety. 1382 01:19:44,053 --> 01:19:46,408 Oh my god, it's a miracle. 1383 01:19:46,410 --> 01:19:48,147 It's his fault, he's ruined it now. 1384 01:19:49,313 --> 01:19:51,371 I'll just have to shoot him. 1385 01:19:51,373 --> 01:19:52,403 You can't. 1386 01:19:52,405 --> 01:19:54,008 It's a miracle. 1387 01:19:54,010 --> 01:19:56,473 It ain't a freaking miracle. 1388 01:19:58,696 --> 01:19:59,668 You did this. 1389 01:19:59,670 --> 01:20:02,588 The hotel should belong to the Council, to me. 1390 01:20:02,590 --> 01:20:04,427 We need the money. 1391 01:20:04,429 --> 01:20:06,108 I knew it, you snake. 1392 01:20:06,110 --> 01:20:07,053 Snake? 1393 01:20:09,030 --> 01:20:11,578 You bribed me into blaming Sonya. 1394 01:20:11,580 --> 01:20:14,698 Excuse me if I changed my plans halfway through 1395 01:20:14,700 --> 01:20:15,948 after he admitted to it. 1396 01:20:15,950 --> 01:20:17,423 I mean who does that? 1397 01:20:18,580 --> 01:20:20,318 What fool admits to murder? 1398 01:20:20,320 --> 01:20:21,368 Well you can't. 1399 01:20:21,370 --> 01:20:23,648 The hotel is mine by law. 1400 01:20:23,650 --> 01:20:25,271 I am the law. 1401 01:20:25,273 --> 01:20:26,913 I think you should leave. 1402 01:20:30,130 --> 01:20:30,963 Do you? 1403 01:20:33,100 --> 01:20:34,158 Well let's not forget who 1404 01:20:34,160 --> 01:20:36,233 the Council Representative is here. 1405 01:20:37,400 --> 01:20:40,120 I condemn this property 1406 01:20:41,400 --> 01:20:43,553 and it belongs to the Council, to me. 1407 01:20:45,056 --> 01:20:46,306 Yeah, and me. 1408 01:20:50,416 --> 01:20:51,247 Leak! 1409 01:20:52,082 --> 01:20:52,913 Please be okay. 1410 01:20:52,915 --> 01:20:53,746 Where do you think you're going? 1411 01:20:53,748 --> 01:20:55,318 To fix it before it's too late. 1412 01:20:55,320 --> 01:20:57,462 No, nobody leaves. 1413 01:20:57,464 --> 01:20:58,638 It's a leak. 1414 01:20:58,640 --> 01:20:59,473 Damn it. 1415 01:21:00,400 --> 01:21:01,983 I want a divorce. 1416 01:21:02,906 --> 01:21:05,989 Down down into the deep, down down! 1417 01:21:10,170 --> 01:21:11,682 I'm trying to save the sub. 1418 01:21:11,684 --> 01:21:13,123 Let it sink. 1419 01:21:16,163 --> 01:21:17,168 Ow. 1420 01:21:22,517 --> 01:21:24,687 Oh I'm so sorry, are you okay? 1421 01:21:24,689 --> 01:21:26,330 You slapped me. 1422 01:21:28,151 --> 01:21:29,133 Ow. 1423 01:21:29,135 --> 01:21:29,968 Oh sorry. 1424 01:21:36,870 --> 01:21:37,919 Come here. 1425 01:21:40,233 --> 01:21:42,375 Why don't you just die? 1426 01:21:57,067 --> 01:21:58,418 I win. 1427 01:21:59,610 --> 01:22:01,064 Bad luck. 1428 01:22:07,470 --> 01:22:08,738 Somebody should go and help him. 1429 01:22:08,740 --> 01:22:10,042 No, I won't go. 1430 01:22:10,044 --> 01:22:11,838 You're a military man, you go. 1431 01:22:11,840 --> 01:22:13,848 Uh, no, it's not really my job. 1432 01:22:13,850 --> 01:22:16,823 And besides the man did say he was from the Council. 1433 01:22:17,928 --> 01:22:18,761 You. 1434 01:22:19,733 --> 01:22:21,393 What the hell happened to you? 1435 01:22:21,395 --> 01:22:22,808 He's killed again. 1436 01:22:22,810 --> 01:22:24,928 No I haven't, he's still alive. 1437 01:22:24,930 --> 01:22:27,158 Just incapacitated. 1438 01:22:27,160 --> 01:22:28,768 I need your help. 1439 01:22:28,770 --> 01:22:29,620 We're gonna sink. 1440 01:22:30,535 --> 01:22:31,366 Oh typical. 1441 01:22:31,368 --> 01:22:32,908 How is this my fault? 1442 01:22:32,910 --> 01:22:34,508 Doomed. 1443 01:22:34,510 --> 01:22:37,709 That's it boys, our final voyage. 1444 01:22:38,544 --> 01:22:40,224 No, wait, listen. 1445 01:22:40,226 --> 01:22:42,858 If we all work together we can save it. 1446 01:22:42,860 --> 01:22:44,733 I just need your help. 1447 01:22:45,581 --> 01:22:47,708 This hotel has supported us. 1448 01:22:47,710 --> 01:22:50,388 It's kept us warm and safe. 1449 01:22:50,390 --> 01:22:52,501 We owe it to her to try. 1450 01:22:52,503 --> 01:22:54,123 Bernard, it's okay. 1451 01:22:55,810 --> 01:22:56,643 He's right. 1452 01:22:57,504 --> 01:22:58,654 We should do something. 1453 01:22:59,694 --> 01:23:04,230 Everyone grab something useful and follow Bernard. 1454 01:23:06,347 --> 01:23:07,427 Where did she go? 1455 01:23:07,429 --> 01:23:09,297 I think she's abandoning ship. 1456 01:23:09,299 --> 01:23:10,888 Get her! 1457 01:23:10,890 --> 01:23:11,747 No, no wait. 1458 01:23:11,749 --> 01:23:12,882 Wait, no. 1459 01:23:13,797 --> 01:23:14,628 No! 1460 01:23:14,630 --> 01:23:16,602 No wait, please, please, please help me Sonya. 1461 01:23:16,604 --> 01:23:19,837 We can still rescue the hotel, we can have it all. 1462 01:23:19,839 --> 01:23:22,067 No it's too late, you have to let it go. 1463 01:23:22,960 --> 01:23:25,801 It's everyone for themselves. 1464 01:23:25,803 --> 01:23:28,135 But I used to love you. 1465 01:23:28,137 --> 01:23:32,135 Oh don't be such a fool all your life Bernard. 1466 01:23:36,844 --> 01:23:37,677 Fool. 1467 01:23:52,031 --> 01:23:52,862 Out of my way. 1468 01:23:52,864 --> 01:23:53,695 Give me one. 1469 01:23:53,697 --> 01:23:54,528 Leave us. 1470 01:23:54,530 --> 01:23:57,168 Mildred, it's women and children first. 1471 01:23:57,170 --> 01:23:58,588 We are paying guests. 1472 01:23:58,590 --> 01:24:00,739 I'm with the whore, women first. 1473 01:24:00,741 --> 01:24:01,814 Just attach yourselves. 1474 01:24:01,816 --> 01:24:03,708 Mrs. Ellis? 1475 01:24:03,710 --> 01:24:05,173 Mrs. Ellis we need to go. 1476 01:24:07,528 --> 01:24:11,639 And you thought it was all over. 1477 01:24:14,861 --> 01:24:16,688 Got him this time. 1478 01:24:16,690 --> 01:24:19,578 Come on, we need to go. 1479 01:24:19,580 --> 01:24:20,880 Oh, is it cocktail time? 1480 01:24:22,003 --> 01:24:23,299 - Out of my way. - Hurry up. 1481 01:24:27,150 --> 01:24:28,223 No one move. 1482 01:24:29,960 --> 01:24:31,868 Now I didn't want to do this. 1483 01:24:31,870 --> 01:24:33,570 But you've left me with no choice. 1484 01:24:35,520 --> 01:24:36,603 Give me the masks. 1485 01:24:37,514 --> 01:24:38,366 What? 1486 01:24:38,368 --> 01:24:40,148 You heard him give him the masks. 1487 01:24:40,150 --> 01:24:41,718 No. 1488 01:24:41,720 --> 01:24:44,774 No, your mask. 1489 01:24:44,776 --> 01:24:46,243 Now! 1490 01:24:49,320 --> 01:24:50,153 Good. 1491 01:24:51,070 --> 01:24:51,903 Now Sonya. 1492 01:24:55,820 --> 01:24:57,328 Bernard, surely you don't mean me? 1493 01:24:57,330 --> 01:24:59,633 Yes Sonya, now. 1494 01:25:02,270 --> 01:25:04,108 Told you we should've tipped him. 1495 01:25:04,110 --> 01:25:04,983 Shut up. 1496 01:25:06,883 --> 01:25:07,763 Now we're gonna leave. 1497 01:25:08,928 --> 01:25:12,148 And I'm sorry, but you're all gonna stay here. 1498 01:25:12,150 --> 01:25:13,493 You are condemning us. 1499 01:25:14,410 --> 01:25:16,413 You condemned yourselves. 1500 01:25:18,035 --> 01:25:19,618 Join me, join me. 1501 01:25:21,093 --> 01:25:22,760 We can have a party. 1502 01:25:24,550 --> 01:25:27,373 Bernard, let us out or you're fired. 1503 01:25:28,507 --> 01:25:30,098 I quit. 1504 01:25:30,100 --> 01:25:32,098 Sonya, you speak to him. 1505 01:25:32,100 --> 01:25:33,083 Make him see sense. 1506 01:25:34,599 --> 01:25:35,432 Bernard. 1507 01:25:36,673 --> 01:25:39,658 Bernard please listen to me. 1508 01:25:39,660 --> 01:25:41,208 We're sorry. 1509 01:25:41,210 --> 01:25:43,328 Oh we've been fools. 1510 01:25:43,330 --> 01:25:44,788 Bernard if we all went together 1511 01:25:44,790 --> 01:25:46,290 than we can fix this I'm sure. 1512 01:25:47,270 --> 01:25:48,493 Just help us out. 1513 01:25:49,480 --> 01:25:50,618 Did you ever love me? 1514 01:25:50,620 --> 01:25:54,767 - Yes. - Yes, say yes. 1515 01:25:54,769 --> 01:25:56,003 Or was it all to get the hotel? 1516 01:25:57,683 --> 01:25:58,514 I... 1517 01:25:58,516 --> 01:25:59,468 Because I loved you. 1518 01:25:59,470 --> 01:26:02,568 I know, just help us out. 1519 01:26:02,570 --> 01:26:04,883 But I've changed, you said it. 1520 01:26:05,750 --> 01:26:07,378 It's everyone for themselves. 1521 01:26:07,380 --> 01:26:09,607 You scummy little maggot. 1522 01:26:11,399 --> 01:26:12,232 Don't do this. 1523 01:26:13,245 --> 01:26:14,162 You fool. 1524 01:26:15,044 --> 01:26:15,875 You silly woman. 1525 01:26:15,877 --> 01:26:19,550 I think you should know, I killed your chicken. 1526 01:26:22,222 --> 01:26:24,055 Her name... 1527 01:26:31,722 --> 01:26:32,555 What? 1528 01:26:34,632 --> 01:26:35,549 What is it? 1529 01:26:38,439 --> 01:26:40,606 You're better than this. 1530 01:28:06,716 --> 01:28:07,966 That is that. 1531 01:28:13,792 --> 01:28:16,959 Where's Dr. Lewis and The Inspector? 1532 01:28:33,921 --> 01:28:35,004 Looky here. 1533 01:28:45,528 --> 01:28:46,861 Well what now? 1534 01:28:48,100 --> 01:28:49,513 We find a new hotel. 1535 01:28:58,436 --> 01:28:59,986 You've got a leak. 1536 01:29:05,720 --> 01:29:06,553 Doomed! 1537 01:29:08,387 --> 01:29:09,230 Sit down. 1538 01:29:09,232 --> 01:29:11,538 I told you there is not enough for us. 1539 01:29:11,540 --> 01:29:13,040 Shut up. 1540 01:29:14,028 --> 01:29:16,124 ♪ You can keep your bunkers ♪ 1541 01:29:16,126 --> 01:29:18,648 ♪ Your gas mask chic ♪ 1542 01:29:18,650 --> 01:29:20,958 ♪ When bombs come down ♪ 1543 01:29:20,960 --> 01:29:23,546 ♪ Buildings start to creak ♪ 1544 01:29:23,548 --> 01:29:25,604 ♪ I won't be in the square ♪ 1545 01:29:25,606 --> 01:29:28,384 ♪ Nor the place by the well ♪ 1546 01:29:28,386 --> 01:29:33,386 ♪ I'll be with my rabbits foot prepared to sail ♪ 1547 01:29:34,375 --> 01:29:38,014 ♪ Welcome to The Fitzroy Hotel ♪ 1548 01:29:38,016 --> 01:29:40,379 ♪ Please enjoy your stay ♪ 1549 01:29:40,381 --> 01:29:42,634 ♪ The Margate Riviera ♪ 1550 01:29:42,636 --> 01:29:45,221 ♪ They place to get away ♪ 1551 01:29:45,223 --> 01:29:47,503 ♪ The rooms are very cozy ♪ 1552 01:29:47,505 --> 01:29:50,035 ♪ Staff are at your call ♪ 1553 01:29:50,037 --> 01:29:51,878 ♪ Poison gas, balderdash ♪ 1554 01:29:51,880 --> 01:29:54,218 ♪ Take it in the view, it won't kill you ♪ 1555 01:29:54,220 --> 01:29:57,553 ♪ There's space for all ♪ 1556 01:30:18,936 --> 01:30:23,500 ♪ The train leaves at midnight away from poisoned air ♪ 1557 01:30:23,502 --> 01:30:28,183 ♪ From London we fly air balloon non-stop to Margate Pier ♪ 1558 01:30:28,185 --> 01:30:33,076 ♪ We're all aboard the night boat, it's a one way trip ♪ 1559 01:30:33,078 --> 01:30:38,078 ♪ All aboard the leaving party going down with the ship ♪ 1560 01:30:39,317 --> 01:30:42,869 ♪ Welcome to The Fitzroy Hotel ♪ 1561 01:30:42,871 --> 01:30:45,134 ♪ Please enjoy your stay ♪ 1562 01:30:45,136 --> 01:30:47,169 ♪ The Margate Riviera ♪ 1563 01:30:47,171 --> 01:30:49,813 ♪ It's the place to get away ♪ 1564 01:30:49,815 --> 01:30:51,849 ♪ The rooms are very cozy ♪ 1565 01:30:51,851 --> 01:30:54,616 ♪ The staff are at your call ♪ 1566 01:30:54,618 --> 01:30:56,652 ♪ Poison gas, balderdash ♪ 1567 01:30:56,654 --> 01:30:58,865 ♪ Take in the view, it won't kill you ♪ 1568 01:30:58,867 --> 01:31:02,200 ♪ There's space for all ♪ 1569 01:31:24,421 --> 01:31:26,430 ♪ Now we're on The Fitzroy ♪ 1570 01:31:26,432 --> 01:31:28,693 ♪ It's worse than death ♪ 1571 01:31:28,695 --> 01:31:33,366 ♪ Well I'd rather poison gas than sleep in that bed ♪ 1572 01:31:33,368 --> 01:31:36,311 ♪ Stewed prunes for breakfast ♪ 1573 01:31:36,313 --> 01:31:38,608 ♪ Leaks down the hull ♪ 1574 01:31:38,610 --> 01:31:43,085 ♪ Entertainment stinks like a dirty girl ♪ 1575 01:31:43,087 --> 01:31:44,802 ♪ Oh no ♪ 1576 01:31:44,804 --> 01:31:48,113 ♪ Welcome to The Fitzroy Hotel ♪ 1577 01:31:48,115 --> 01:31:50,248 ♪ Please enjoy your stay ♪ 1578 01:31:50,250 --> 01:31:52,499 ♪ The Margate Riviera ♪ 1579 01:31:52,501 --> 01:31:55,107 ♪ The place to get away ♪ 1580 01:31:55,109 --> 01:31:57,422 ♪ Rooms are very cozy ♪ 1581 01:31:57,424 --> 01:32:00,019 ♪ The staff are at your call ♪ 1582 01:32:00,021 --> 01:32:01,847 ♪ Poison gas, balderdash ♪ 1583 01:32:01,849 --> 01:32:04,220 ♪ Take in the view, it won't kill you ♪ 1584 01:32:04,222 --> 01:32:07,555 ♪ There's space for all ♪ 1585 01:32:44,676 --> 01:32:46,736 ♪ The Fitzroy Hotel ♪ 1586 01:32:46,738 --> 01:32:50,852 ♪ Please enjoy stay ♪ 1587 01:32:50,854 --> 01:32:55,854 ♪ First I was entranced lessers of evil ♪ 1588 01:32:56,913 --> 01:33:01,913 ♪ Cabaret and pay to see me as you may ♪ 1589 01:33:02,790 --> 01:33:07,790 ♪ A note from me to show a little skirt ♪ 1590 01:33:08,658 --> 01:33:10,370 ♪ For I have played the femme fatale ♪ 1591 01:33:10,372 --> 01:33:12,880 ♪ Lulu, Nano, I know them all ♪ 1592 01:33:12,882 --> 01:33:17,882 ♪ But underneath grand facade ♪ 1593 01:33:18,911 --> 01:33:22,992 ♪ Is a little girl who needs a cradling arm ♪ 1594 01:33:22,994 --> 01:33:27,284 ♪ And an open heart to help her on her path ♪ 1595 01:33:27,286 --> 01:33:29,515 ♪ Of this lifetime of trying ♪ 1596 01:33:29,517 --> 01:33:32,159 ♪ Of trying to achieve ♪ 1597 01:33:32,161 --> 01:33:35,161 ♪ Impossible dreams ♪ 1598 01:33:36,204 --> 01:33:41,204 - Subtitles by explosiveskull - www.elsubtitle.com 102227

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