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00:00:01,262 --> 00:00:02,654
Previously onYoung Sheldon...
2
00:00:02,698 --> 00:00:05,396
You know that Mr. Rosenbloom
with the furniture store
3
00:00:05,440 --> 00:00:07,050
over by the steak house?
4
00:00:07,094 --> 00:00:08,660
He's asked me to dinner.
5
00:00:08,704 --> 00:00:10,097
Is he your boyfriend?
6
00:00:10,140 --> 00:00:12,490
Well, he's one of them,
so let's not bring that up.
7
00:00:12,534 --> 00:00:14,014
All right, so what can I do
for you?
8
00:00:14,057 --> 00:00:15,624
What's it like
to be Jewish?
9
00:00:15,667 --> 00:00:17,930
Oh, it's terrible.
I don't recommend it.
10
00:00:17,974 --> 00:00:20,542
Yeah?
11
00:00:20,585 --> 00:00:23,371
Connie, I would like
to have dinner with you tonight.
12
00:00:23,414 --> 00:00:25,155
This is very promising.
13
00:00:25,199 --> 00:00:27,027
SHELDON:
Dr. Sturgis and Meemaw
14
00:00:27,070 --> 00:00:28,289
had their first
sleepover.
15
00:00:28,332 --> 00:00:30,465
It's a big step
in their relationship.
16
00:00:30,508 --> 00:00:32,597
I'm going to go
congratulate them.
17
00:00:32,641 --> 00:00:35,426
Hey, put on a jacket,
it's chilly out.
18
00:00:36,732 --> 00:00:39,256
♪ You're just too good
to be true... ♪
19
00:00:39,300 --> 00:00:43,608
I have only seen you eat
vanilla ice cream for dessert.
20
00:00:43,652 --> 00:00:45,654
Why is that?Well, I've taken a page
21
00:00:45,697 --> 00:00:48,874
from the great physicist
Richard Feynman.
22
00:00:48,918 --> 00:00:50,354
In order to have
23
00:00:50,398 --> 00:00:52,008
one less decision
in his life,
24
00:00:52,052 --> 00:00:56,491
he decided that dessert would
always be chocolate ice cream.
25
00:00:56,534 --> 00:00:58,754
Sounds like it could
get kind of boring.
26
00:00:58,797 --> 00:00:59,711
Oh, it does.
27
00:00:59,755 --> 00:01:02,932
But over the
last 35 years,
28
00:01:02,975 --> 00:01:07,197
I believe I've saved
at least a day and a half.
29
00:01:07,241 --> 00:01:09,156
♪ Pardon the way
that I stare... ♪
30
00:01:12,333 --> 00:01:14,378
Well, you have to let me
cook for you sometime.
31
00:01:14,422 --> 00:01:16,424
But I enjoy cooking for you.
32
00:01:16,467 --> 00:01:18,817
It's a means of
expressing my affection.
33
00:01:18,861 --> 00:01:22,560
It also allows me to control
the amount of garlic,
34
00:01:22,604 --> 00:01:24,258
which gives me the burps.
35
00:01:24,301 --> 00:01:27,261
Well, I do make
a mean barbecue,
36
00:01:27,304 --> 00:01:30,133
and I promise I can
make it garlic-free.
37
00:01:30,177 --> 00:01:31,569
Excellent!
38
00:01:31,613 --> 00:01:35,573
Next time, you can express
your affection for me.
39
00:01:37,575 --> 00:01:39,229
Excuse me.
40
00:01:39,273 --> 00:01:42,189
I bet it's Sheldon
checking on us.
41
00:01:42,232 --> 00:01:43,320
What?
42
00:01:43,364 --> 00:01:44,974
Connie? It's Ira.
43
00:01:45,017 --> 00:01:47,281
:
Hey... Hey...
44
00:01:47,324 --> 00:01:49,152
I'm, uh...
45
00:01:49,196 --> 00:01:50,458
I-It's Sheldon.
46
00:01:50,501 --> 00:01:51,589
He... sounds a little agitated.
47
00:01:51,633 --> 00:01:53,069
I'm gonna take it
in the other room.
48
00:01:53,113 --> 00:01:54,549
Just...
49
00:02:00,076 --> 00:02:01,512
:
Hello again.
50
00:02:01,556 --> 00:02:02,992
Listen, I'm wondering what
you're doing this weekend.
51
00:02:03,035 --> 00:02:03,993
I miss you.
52
00:02:04,036 --> 00:02:06,343
Cool, cool.
53
00:02:06,387 --> 00:02:08,040
You want to go to a movie
54
00:02:08,084 --> 00:02:09,781
or bowl a few frames?
55
00:02:09,825 --> 00:02:14,046
Uh, you know, listen,
it's not a great time right now.
56
00:02:14,090 --> 00:02:15,439
Um, I have a little family over,
57
00:02:15,483 --> 00:02:17,224
and can I call you later?
58
00:02:17,267 --> 00:02:20,183
Yeah. Yeah, I'm sorry.
I-I don't want to interrupt.
59
00:02:20,227 --> 00:02:22,316
I just miss hearing your voice.
60
00:02:22,359 --> 00:02:24,709
Well... here it is,
61
00:02:24,753 --> 00:02:26,363
coming right up
out of my throat.
62
00:02:26,407 --> 00:02:28,191
Um, okay,
63
00:02:28,235 --> 00:02:30,280
so, uh, uh, bye.
64
00:02:30,324 --> 00:02:31,760
Bye-bye.
65
00:02:33,153 --> 00:02:35,024
How's Sheldon doing?
66
00:02:35,067 --> 00:02:36,504
What?
Sheldon.
67
00:02:36,547 --> 00:02:38,375
You were talking to Sheldon.
68
00:02:38,419 --> 00:02:41,813
Oh... right, yes.
69
00:02:41,857 --> 00:02:45,208
Did you know he has a picture
of that fella Feynman
70
00:02:45,252 --> 00:02:46,427
in his bedroom?
71
00:02:46,470 --> 00:02:48,342
What? So do I.
72
00:02:48,385 --> 00:02:49,778
Peas in a pod.
73
00:02:49,821 --> 00:02:51,301
Oh, darn.
74
00:02:51,345 --> 00:02:53,912
Excuse me.
75
00:02:53,956 --> 00:02:56,088
Yes?
76
00:02:56,132 --> 00:02:57,089
How's it going?
77
00:02:57,133 --> 00:02:58,439
It's Sheldon again.
78
00:02:58,482 --> 00:02:59,875
What do you mean "again"?
79
00:02:59,918 --> 00:03:01,050
Speak.
80
00:03:01,093 --> 00:03:02,182
I recently read an article
81
00:03:02,225 --> 00:03:04,401
about a superconducting
supercollider
82
00:03:04,445 --> 00:03:06,055
that might be built in Texas.
83
00:03:06,098 --> 00:03:07,796
What about it?
84
00:03:07,839 --> 00:03:09,189
Well, I thought
if there was a lull
85
00:03:09,232 --> 00:03:10,494
in your dinner conversation,
86
00:03:10,538 --> 00:03:12,757
you might casually drop it
as an icebreaker.
87
00:03:12,801 --> 00:03:15,586
Our dinner conversation
is going just fine.
88
00:03:15,630 --> 00:03:17,414
Well, now you have it
in your back pocket.
89
00:03:17,458 --> 00:03:18,763
Carry on.
90
00:03:24,900 --> 00:03:28,425
Question-- will we be engaging
in coitus tonight?
91
00:03:28,469 --> 00:03:32,037
Because I believe
I pulled a hamstring
92
00:03:32,081 --> 00:03:33,300
on the bike ride over.
93
00:03:33,343 --> 00:03:35,302
Why didn't you
say something?
94
00:03:35,345 --> 00:03:37,956
Well, I was trying
to display machismo,
95
00:03:38,000 --> 00:03:39,654
but it's becoming
more and more clear
96
00:03:39,697 --> 00:03:43,048
that there's something
askew in my groin.
97
00:03:43,092 --> 00:03:44,789
Oh, John...
98
00:03:44,833 --> 00:03:47,052
we don't have
to do anything.
99
00:03:47,096 --> 00:03:49,316
We can just be together.
100
00:03:49,359 --> 00:03:50,708
Thanks.
101
00:03:50,752 --> 00:03:52,449
But if it's all
the same to you,
102
00:03:52,493 --> 00:03:54,973
I'd like to give it
the old college try.
103
00:03:57,715 --> 00:04:00,631
♪ Nobody else
is stronger than I am ♪
104
00:04:00,675 --> 00:04:03,504
♪ Yesterday I moved a mountain
105
00:04:03,547 --> 00:04:06,028
♪ I bet I could be your hero
106
00:04:06,071 --> 00:04:08,509
♪ I am a mighty little man
107
00:04:08,552 --> 00:04:12,817
♪ I am a mighty little man.♪
108
00:04:15,385 --> 00:04:16,343
Here you go.
109
00:04:16,386 --> 00:04:18,823
Thank you.
110
00:04:18,867 --> 00:04:20,869
So, you're really
gonna go out
111
00:04:20,912 --> 00:04:22,349
with this furniture
store fella
112
00:04:22,392 --> 00:04:23,785
while seeing Dr. Sturgis?
113
00:04:23,828 --> 00:04:26,831
It's called playing the field.
114
00:04:26,875 --> 00:04:28,616
And if you'd done
some of that,
115
00:04:28,659 --> 00:04:31,096
you wouldn't be saddled
with Bluto in there.
116
00:04:31,140 --> 00:04:32,359
That's not nice.
117
00:04:32,402 --> 00:04:34,404
And is that
really necessary?
118
00:04:34,448 --> 00:04:36,972
The Italians call it
"corretto."
119
00:04:37,015 --> 00:04:39,322
It means correcting
the drink.
120
00:04:39,366 --> 00:04:43,065
So, a drink without
alcohol in it is wrong?
121
00:04:43,108 --> 00:04:44,371
Yep.
122
00:04:44,414 --> 00:04:46,547
Italian people,
they know what's up.
123
00:04:46,590 --> 00:04:49,114
All right, one issue
at a time.
124
00:04:49,158 --> 00:04:53,641
So, you're really gonna date
two men simultaneously?
125
00:04:53,684 --> 00:04:56,557
Two that you know of.
Oh, Mom.
126
00:04:56,600 --> 00:04:58,559
Come on, don't be
such a prude.
127
00:04:58,602 --> 00:04:59,995
I'm not gonna have
any babies.
128
00:05:00,038 --> 00:05:01,866
I don't need these men
to take care of me.
129
00:05:01,910 --> 00:05:04,260
Why shouldn't I just
enjoy myself?
130
00:05:04,304 --> 00:05:06,697
Well, it isn't very
Christian of you.
131
00:05:06,741 --> 00:05:08,612
I got no argument there.
132
00:05:08,656 --> 00:05:11,572
Salute!
133
00:05:13,138 --> 00:05:15,315
Yeah, that fixed it.
134
00:05:15,358 --> 00:05:16,577
Mmm.
135
00:05:16,620 --> 00:05:18,753
♪
136
00:05:27,457 --> 00:05:30,025
Oh, Meemaw, no.
137
00:05:34,638 --> 00:05:36,336
Hey, who are you calling?
138
00:05:36,379 --> 00:05:38,207
Dr. Sturgis.
139
00:05:38,250 --> 00:05:39,034
Why?
140
00:05:39,077 --> 00:05:40,949
I saw Meemaw get in a car
141
00:05:40,992 --> 00:05:42,907
with Mr. Rosenbloom.
142
00:05:42,951 --> 00:05:46,781
:
No...
143
00:05:48,435 --> 00:05:50,915
ADULT SHELDON: I don't know if it really happened this way,
144
00:05:50,959 --> 00:05:52,830
but to my nine-year-old mind,
145
00:05:52,874 --> 00:05:54,223
my mother was flying.
146
00:06:01,883 --> 00:06:04,668
So, how's the brisket?
147
00:06:04,712 --> 00:06:06,017
It's good.
148
00:06:06,061 --> 00:06:09,194
It ain't my brisket,
but it's good.
149
00:06:09,238 --> 00:06:10,631
I should take you
to New York
150
00:06:10,674 --> 00:06:12,850
so you could taste some
authentic Jewish brisket.
151
00:06:12,894 --> 00:06:14,112
How's it different?
152
00:06:14,156 --> 00:06:15,462
Well, it's pretty much
the same except
153
00:06:15,505 --> 00:06:18,029
it's-it's a lot juicier
and you can feel the fat
154
00:06:18,073 --> 00:06:19,509
go directly to your heart.
155
00:06:20,728 --> 00:06:23,252
Oh, boy...
156
00:06:23,295 --> 00:06:24,384
I miss that laugh.
157
00:06:25,733 --> 00:06:28,083
So, uh...
158
00:06:28,126 --> 00:06:29,824
what do you think
of that idea?
159
00:06:29,867 --> 00:06:32,522
What idea?Going to New York.
160
00:06:32,566 --> 00:06:34,568
Maybe we'll catch
a couple of Broadway shows,
161
00:06:34,611 --> 00:06:36,526
uh, see some sights.
162
00:06:36,570 --> 00:06:40,965
Oh, Ira, gee...
163
00:06:41,009 --> 00:06:42,706
I don't know.
164
00:06:42,750 --> 00:06:45,317
Seems like a big step.Is it?
165
00:06:45,361 --> 00:06:47,015
I think at this time
of our lives,
166
00:06:47,058 --> 00:06:49,321
we should travel,
see the world.
167
00:06:49,365 --> 00:06:50,888
I guess.I mean,
168
00:06:50,932 --> 00:06:52,455
we're not getting
any younger.
169
00:06:52,499 --> 00:06:54,544
What's that supposed to mean?
170
00:06:56,024 --> 00:06:58,418
I mean, I mean, I'mnot
getting any younger.
171
00:06:58,461 --> 00:06:59,723
You, on the other hand,
172
00:06:59,767 --> 00:07:02,422
you are a blossoming tulip.
173
00:07:02,465 --> 00:07:03,814
Better.
174
00:07:03,858 --> 00:07:06,556
SHELDON:
But I still don't understand.
175
00:07:06,600 --> 00:07:09,341
Your grandmother's
a single lady.
176
00:07:09,385 --> 00:07:11,300
She's not committed
to any one fella,
177
00:07:11,343 --> 00:07:13,476
and she wants to see
what her options are.
178
00:07:13,520 --> 00:07:15,739
But Dr. Sturgis is
the best option.
179
00:07:15,783 --> 00:07:17,567
Well, you might
feel that way,
180
00:07:17,611 --> 00:07:18,960
but she's not so sure.
181
00:07:19,003 --> 00:07:20,962
Then we need to tell her.
I'll make the call.
182
00:07:21,005 --> 00:07:23,051
No. We need to
mind our business
183
00:07:23,094 --> 00:07:25,967
and maybe pray for her
to make the right decision.
184
00:07:26,010 --> 00:07:28,578
We're gonna leave this
up to God?
185
00:07:28,622 --> 00:07:31,102
You think you could do
a better job than God?
186
00:07:31,146 --> 00:07:33,104
Maybe not with
creating the universe,
187
00:07:33,148 --> 00:07:34,584
but I bet
I could free the Hebrews
188
00:07:34,628 --> 00:07:36,107
with one good plague.
189
00:07:36,151 --> 00:07:38,109
IRA:
You can get lox, bagels,
190
00:07:38,153 --> 00:07:41,025
all the trimmings
at 3:30 in the morning.
191
00:07:41,069 --> 00:07:43,463
Why would I want that?
192
00:07:43,506 --> 00:07:46,204
Well, you wouldn't.
I mean, it's too heavy.
193
00:07:46,248 --> 00:07:47,510
But you could
if you wanted.
194
00:07:48,685 --> 00:07:49,817
So, what do you think?
195
00:07:49,860 --> 00:07:52,907
Oh, Ira, I don't think so.
196
00:07:52,950 --> 00:07:54,169
All right, what do you say
197
00:07:54,212 --> 00:07:56,345
to a weekend
in New Orleans, huh?
198
00:07:56,388 --> 00:07:57,999
We could do one of those
Carnival Cruise things.
199
00:07:58,042 --> 00:08:00,654
You're killing me.
200
00:08:00,697 --> 00:08:01,829
I can't do this, I...
201
00:08:01,872 --> 00:08:03,831
Can't do what?
202
00:08:03,874 --> 00:08:07,182
Ira, you're just
a wonderful man.
203
00:08:07,225 --> 00:08:09,837
Oh, boy, I don't like
where this is going.
204
00:08:09,880 --> 00:08:11,491
But to tell you the truth,
205
00:08:11,534 --> 00:08:13,493
I'm seeing somebody else.
206
00:08:13,536 --> 00:08:15,320
And we've gone there.
207
00:08:15,364 --> 00:08:18,149
I thought I could do it, uh...
you know, date both of you,
208
00:08:18,193 --> 00:08:20,761
but I-I can't, I can't,
I just...
209
00:08:20,804 --> 00:08:22,719
I'm not cut out for it.
210
00:08:22,763 --> 00:08:24,895
Okay, suggestion.
211
00:08:24,939 --> 00:08:27,245
And maybe you've already
thought of this...
212
00:08:27,289 --> 00:08:28,856
but what do you say
you break up with him
213
00:08:28,899 --> 00:08:30,379
and only see me?
214
00:08:34,731 --> 00:08:36,951
I'm sorry.
215
00:08:36,994 --> 00:08:39,562
I thought I could
handle this.
216
00:08:39,606 --> 00:08:41,129
It's okay.You know,
217
00:08:41,172 --> 00:08:44,262
you get older, and you think
your skin is thicker...
218
00:08:44,306 --> 00:08:46,264
It's okay....and your heart
is tougher.
219
00:08:46,308 --> 00:08:49,311
But it's not, it's
the other way around.
220
00:08:49,354 --> 00:08:53,750
I hope this guy knows
what a gift he has in you.
221
00:08:53,794 --> 00:08:55,578
Well, "gift" is a strong word,
222
00:08:55,622 --> 00:08:57,798
but he's enthusiastic.
223
00:08:57,841 --> 00:08:58,886
Good.
224
00:08:58,929 --> 00:09:02,367
May you both be
very happy together!
225
00:09:05,370 --> 00:09:07,590
I don't want to
celebrate too soon,
226
00:09:07,634 --> 00:09:11,942
but Meemaw and Mr. Rosenbloom
are back, and he was crying.
227
00:09:14,162 --> 00:09:17,252
There'll be more updates
as they happen.
228
00:09:25,390 --> 00:09:26,609
I'm done.
229
00:09:26,653 --> 00:09:27,871
Can I please be excused?
230
00:09:27,915 --> 00:09:29,960
Good Lord, did you
even chew it?
231
00:09:30,004 --> 00:09:31,658
Not the recommended amount, no.
232
00:09:31,701 --> 00:09:33,094
What's your hurry?
233
00:09:33,137 --> 00:09:34,965
I need to get back
to my viewing post.
234
00:09:35,009 --> 00:09:37,359
Fine, go ahead.
235
00:09:39,317 --> 00:09:41,624
What's he expect to see,
staring at Meemaw's house?
236
00:09:41,668 --> 00:09:43,800
Did you just join
this family?
237
00:09:43,844 --> 00:09:45,236
The kid's an oddball.
238
00:09:45,280 --> 00:09:47,543
He's just excited
that Meemaw's dating
239
00:09:47,587 --> 00:09:48,979
a man he looks up to.
240
00:09:49,023 --> 00:09:51,503
I wish she could date
Tony Danza-- that'd be cool.
241
00:09:51,547 --> 00:09:53,636
What is it with you
and Tony Danza?
242
00:09:53,680 --> 00:09:56,334
Well, the show doesn't
come out and say it,
243
00:09:56,378 --> 00:09:58,685
but I'm pretty sure
he's the boss.
244
00:09:59,860 --> 00:10:01,688
I think the blonde
lady's the boss.
245
00:10:01,731 --> 00:10:02,689
Angela?
246
00:10:02,732 --> 00:10:04,516
Who's the oddball now?
247
00:10:07,215 --> 00:10:08,695
I'm warning you,
248
00:10:08,738 --> 00:10:10,871
once you try my barbecue,
249
00:10:10,914 --> 00:10:13,656
it will ruin you
to all the others.
250
00:10:13,700 --> 00:10:16,833
That's what happened to me
with quilted toilet paper.
251
00:10:16,877 --> 00:10:18,530
Once I tried the good stuff,
252
00:10:18,574 --> 00:10:21,316
everything else felt
like a Brillo pad.
253
00:10:21,359 --> 00:10:24,145
You paint quite the picture,
don't you?
254
00:10:25,799 --> 00:10:27,539
Oh, gosh.
255
00:10:27,583 --> 00:10:29,150
Excuse me.
256
00:10:29,193 --> 00:10:33,067
Sheldon,
this is not cute anymore.
257
00:10:34,677 --> 00:10:35,765
Connie Tucker?
258
00:10:35,809 --> 00:10:37,158
Yes?
259
00:10:37,201 --> 00:10:38,638
I have a dinette set
from Rosenbloom's Furniture.
260
00:10:38,681 --> 00:10:39,508
Oh.
261
00:10:39,551 --> 00:10:41,075
I didn't buy any furniture.
262
00:10:41,118 --> 00:10:43,251
I think it's a gift.
263
00:10:44,121 --> 00:10:45,514
Oh, boy.
264
00:10:45,557 --> 00:10:47,124
TONY:
I bent down to pick up a book,
265
00:10:47,168 --> 00:10:50,780
and I'll be darned if she didn't
sneak a look at my derriere.
266
00:10:50,824 --> 00:10:52,739
Oh, man.
267
00:10:52,782 --> 00:10:56,525
You won't believe what's
happening at Meemaw's house.
268
00:10:56,568 --> 00:10:59,049
Is it more interesting
than Who's the Boss?
269
00:10:59,093 --> 00:11:00,921
Doubt it.
270
00:11:02,792 --> 00:11:05,229
Rosenbloom's Fine Furniture.
Ira speaking.
271
00:11:05,273 --> 00:11:07,231
Why are you sending me
furniture?
272
00:11:07,275 --> 00:11:10,234
I've decided
I can't go away quietly.
273
00:11:10,278 --> 00:11:12,280
I'm fighting for your love.
274
00:11:12,323 --> 00:11:13,934
With a dinette set?
275
00:11:13,977 --> 00:11:16,110
Oh, this isn't just any dinette
set. It's our biggest seller.
276
00:11:16,153 --> 00:11:18,460
And it's not pressed wood--
277
00:11:18,503 --> 00:11:19,940
it's oak!
278
00:11:19,983 --> 00:11:22,377
Ira, I don't like this.
279
00:11:22,420 --> 00:11:25,119
Would you prefer
a leather sectional?
280
00:11:25,162 --> 00:11:27,948
Uh, what's going on?
281
00:11:27,991 --> 00:11:29,601
Uh,
282
00:11:29,645 --> 00:11:31,125
can I call you back?
283
00:11:31,168 --> 00:11:32,822
I look forward to it.
284
00:11:32,866 --> 00:11:34,432
You shouldn't.
285
00:11:37,087 --> 00:11:38,393
Okay.
286
00:11:38,436 --> 00:11:40,351
I guess
you could say
287
00:11:40,395 --> 00:11:42,092
one of my former boyfriends
288
00:11:42,136 --> 00:11:44,747
is trying to win me back
with furniture.
289
00:11:44,791 --> 00:11:47,315
Huh. Impressive.
290
00:11:47,358 --> 00:11:49,273
This is real oak.
291
00:11:50,187 --> 00:11:51,754
Was that him
on the phone?
292
00:11:51,798 --> 00:11:53,582
Yes. I'm sorry.
293
00:11:54,714 --> 00:11:56,672
Interesting.
294
00:11:56,716 --> 00:11:58,152
What?
295
00:11:58,195 --> 00:12:00,589
Being challenged by another man
296
00:12:00,632 --> 00:12:04,114
is making you more
attractive to me.
297
00:12:04,158 --> 00:12:05,986
I don't follow.
298
00:12:06,029 --> 00:12:07,814
I'll have to do
some research,
299
00:12:07,857 --> 00:12:11,948
but I'm guessing
this is a genetic instinct
300
00:12:11,992 --> 00:12:15,909
that's raising my libido.
301
00:12:16,997 --> 00:12:18,563
:
I need a drink.
302
00:12:23,003 --> 00:12:24,700
Can you believe he tried to win
me back with a dinette set?
303
00:12:24,744 --> 00:12:27,311
I'd give you a dinette set
if you'd leave Texas.
304
00:12:27,355 --> 00:12:29,661
So, would you return it?
305
00:12:29,705 --> 00:12:31,272
Hell no, I'm keeping it.
306
00:12:31,315 --> 00:12:32,926
But then you'll be
beholden to him.
307
00:12:34,449 --> 00:12:36,146
Would you ever take Ira back?
308
00:12:36,190 --> 00:12:37,147
I don't know.
309
00:12:37,191 --> 00:12:40,411
He's sweet as he can be, but...
310
00:12:40,455 --> 00:12:43,284
there's just something
about John.
311
00:12:43,327 --> 00:12:46,026
He's like a cute
little teddy bear, you know?
312
00:12:46,069 --> 00:12:47,462
A brilliant,
313
00:12:47,505 --> 00:12:48,811
bicycle-riding
314
00:12:48,855 --> 00:12:50,421
teddy bear.
315
00:12:50,465 --> 00:12:52,597
I don't even understand half
of what he says.
316
00:12:52,641 --> 00:12:54,425
But...
317
00:12:54,469 --> 00:12:58,342
when he's not around,
I just miss him.
318
00:12:59,648 --> 00:13:02,172
Sounds like you're
falling in love.
319
00:13:02,216 --> 00:13:05,175
Maybe I am.
320
00:13:05,219 --> 00:13:07,612
Excellent.
I love him, too.
321
00:13:07,656 --> 00:13:08,875
Get out of here!
322
00:13:08,918 --> 00:13:10,354
If you don't understand
what Dr. Sturgis says,
323
00:13:10,398 --> 00:13:11,834
I'm happy
to explain it to you.
324
00:13:11,878 --> 00:13:13,227
Get!
325
00:13:16,970 --> 00:13:19,233
STURGIS:
Excuse me.
326
00:13:19,276 --> 00:13:20,625
I'm looking for Ira.
327
00:13:20,669 --> 00:13:22,497
At your service.
What can I do for you?
328
00:13:22,540 --> 00:13:26,066
You, sir,
have overstepped your bounds.
329
00:13:26,109 --> 00:13:27,894
I'm sorry, what?
330
00:13:27,937 --> 00:13:29,286
Miss Constance Tucker
331
00:13:29,330 --> 00:13:32,637
made it clear your courtship
was no longer welcome,
332
00:13:32,681 --> 00:13:35,466
and you responded
with six chairs,
333
00:13:35,510 --> 00:13:38,948
a table, and an expansion leaf.
334
00:13:38,992 --> 00:13:40,689
Who are you?
335
00:13:40,732 --> 00:13:42,169
John Sturgis,
336
00:13:42,212 --> 00:13:43,823
the man she chose
337
00:13:43,866 --> 00:13:45,650
and your romantic rival.
338
00:13:45,694 --> 00:13:48,436
I-I'm sorry, wait, what-what
is it you want from me?
339
00:13:48,479 --> 00:13:51,526
I want you to give up
your pursuit of Connie.
340
00:13:51,569 --> 00:13:54,268
All right, I'm gonna have
to ask you to leave my store.
341
00:13:55,182 --> 00:13:57,184
Very well.
342
00:13:57,227 --> 00:14:00,143
The line in the sand
has been drawn.
343
00:14:00,187 --> 00:14:03,190
Cross it at your own peril.
344
00:14:08,935 --> 00:14:10,240
:
Weirdo.
345
00:14:18,335 --> 00:14:19,902
What was that?
346
00:14:19,946 --> 00:14:21,164
You heard me.
347
00:14:21,208 --> 00:14:24,689
Sir, I am a man with feelings.
348
00:14:26,082 --> 00:14:28,476
And you have hurt them.
349
00:14:30,608 --> 00:14:32,697
I know you've had
a number of...
350
00:14:32,741 --> 00:14:34,482
gentleman callers,
351
00:14:34,525 --> 00:14:37,180
but I've never heard you
speak like this before.
352
00:14:37,224 --> 00:14:38,834
"Gentleman callers"?
353
00:14:38,878 --> 00:14:40,488
And we wonder where
Sheldon gets it.
354
00:14:41,619 --> 00:14:43,317
I'm sorry y'all find this funny,
355
00:14:43,360 --> 00:14:44,622
but this is the first time
356
00:14:44,666 --> 00:14:46,929
my mother's expressed
real interest in a man
357
00:14:46,973 --> 00:14:48,278
since Dad died.
358
00:14:48,322 --> 00:14:50,367
Forgive me for
wanting to know more.
359
00:14:51,281 --> 00:14:53,240
You really want to know more?
360
00:14:54,458 --> 00:14:57,722
Imagine you're getting on
in years,
361
00:14:57,766 --> 00:14:59,724
you and your husband
about to retire,
362
00:14:59,768 --> 00:15:01,944
get a little timeshare
in Sarasota,
363
00:15:01,988 --> 00:15:04,947
and... suddenly...
364
00:15:04,991 --> 00:15:06,993
he's gone,
365
00:15:07,036 --> 00:15:09,256
and you're all alone.
366
00:15:09,299 --> 00:15:11,649
You mourn, you cry,
367
00:15:11,693 --> 00:15:15,349
but eventually you move on.
368
00:15:15,392 --> 00:15:17,438
You start dating a little,
369
00:15:17,481 --> 00:15:20,180
and it's all good fun.
370
00:15:20,223 --> 00:15:22,269
But always in the back
of your mind,
371
00:15:22,312 --> 00:15:25,968
there's that question...
372
00:15:26,012 --> 00:15:30,320
"Will I be alone in the end?"
373
00:15:35,630 --> 00:15:37,980
Why y'all looking at me for?
374
00:15:40,461 --> 00:15:41,853
Haven't slept in days.
375
00:15:41,897 --> 00:15:43,681
It's like I'm
a lovesick teenager,
376
00:15:43,725 --> 00:15:47,163
except I remember the
Truman administration.
377
00:15:47,207 --> 00:15:49,557
Your feelings
are understandable.
378
00:15:49,600 --> 00:15:51,907
Connie is
a remarkable woman.
379
00:15:51,951 --> 00:15:53,517
Yes, she is.
380
00:15:53,561 --> 00:15:55,563
But, again, I'm sorry. I should
never have called you weird.
381
00:15:55,606 --> 00:15:58,000
I mean, eh, it was rude.
382
00:15:58,044 --> 00:16:00,307
I've been called
much worse.
383
00:16:00,350 --> 00:16:04,528
A professor once called me
ostrobogulous.
384
00:16:04,572 --> 00:16:06,182
I had to look that one up.
385
00:16:06,226 --> 00:16:07,488
What's it mean?
386
00:16:07,531 --> 00:16:08,924
That I'm a weirdo.
387
00:16:10,056 --> 00:16:12,493
John, you're a great guy.
388
00:16:12,536 --> 00:16:13,755
Well, you, too!
389
00:16:13,798 --> 00:16:15,975
But I hope you
understand, I just...
390
00:16:16,018 --> 00:16:17,280
I can't give up on Connie.
391
00:16:17,324 --> 00:16:18,455
That's all right.
392
00:16:18,499 --> 00:16:19,761
To tell you the truth,
393
00:16:19,804 --> 00:16:24,070
I'm finding the competition
quite exhilarating.
394
00:16:24,113 --> 00:16:25,071
You are?
395
00:16:25,114 --> 00:16:26,594
Oh, yes.
396
00:16:26,637 --> 00:16:28,770
The night
the dinette set arrived,
397
00:16:28,813 --> 00:16:32,469
I did my first push-up
in 40 years.
398
00:16:34,515 --> 00:16:36,560
I'm sorry, but I find
that to be, uh--
399
00:16:36,604 --> 00:16:39,041
what's the word--
astro
400
00:16:39,085 --> 00:16:41,435
Ostrobogulous.
401
00:16:41,478 --> 00:16:42,653
Ostrobogulous.
402
00:16:42,697 --> 00:16:44,264
Exactly.
403
00:16:44,307 --> 00:16:47,223
Now, give me your best price
404
00:16:47,267 --> 00:16:48,877
on one of these
405
00:16:48,920 --> 00:16:51,445
with a cup holder.
406
00:16:57,973 --> 00:17:00,106
John! What
a pleasant surprise.
407
00:17:00,149 --> 00:17:02,282
I have some news for you.Oh?
408
00:17:02,325 --> 00:17:04,414
Mwah. What is that?Mwah.
409
00:17:04,458 --> 00:17:08,418
I went to the furniture
store and spoke to Ira.
410
00:17:08,462 --> 00:17:10,464
Why would you do that?To demand
411
00:17:10,507 --> 00:17:13,510
that he respect your
wish to be left alone.
412
00:17:13,554 --> 00:17:18,124
John, it was not
your place to do that.
413
00:17:18,167 --> 00:17:20,430
Well, if it helps,
414
00:17:20,474 --> 00:17:23,042
he doesn't plan on
leaving you alone.
415
00:17:29,178 --> 00:17:32,660
What the hell
were you thinking?!
416
00:17:32,703 --> 00:17:34,140
That I was being chivalrous.
417
00:17:34,183 --> 00:17:36,272
By going behind my back?
418
00:17:36,316 --> 00:17:38,666
You seem upset.
419
00:17:38,709 --> 00:17:40,320
I am upset!
420
00:17:40,363 --> 00:17:43,105
And how I handle Ira
is my business!
421
00:17:43,149 --> 00:17:45,325
Well, I hope you do it gently.
422
00:17:45,368 --> 00:17:47,066
He's very vulnerable these days.
423
00:17:47,109 --> 00:17:48,937
You're friends now?
424
00:17:48,980 --> 00:17:50,460
Well, I wouldn't say friends,
425
00:17:50,504 --> 00:17:52,767
but I could see, over time,
426
00:17:52,810 --> 00:17:53,855
you know,
we might...
427
00:17:53,898 --> 00:17:55,161
Are you two fighting?
428
00:17:56,466 --> 00:17:57,902
No.
429
00:17:57,946 --> 00:17:59,165
Oh, good.
430
00:17:59,208 --> 00:18:01,602
I was almost certain
that we were.
431
00:18:01,645 --> 00:18:02,385
We are.
432
00:18:02,429 --> 00:18:03,908
I'm confused.Me, too.
433
00:18:03,952 --> 00:18:06,172
Is this because you went
to the furniture store?
434
00:18:06,215 --> 00:18:07,434
He knows about this?
435
00:18:07,477 --> 00:18:09,044
Yes.
Yes.All right, now, listen,
436
00:18:09,088 --> 00:18:11,351
if this relationship's
gonna have any chance at all,
437
00:18:11,394 --> 00:18:13,092
we have to lay down
some ground rules.
438
00:18:13,135 --> 00:18:14,615
Great. I love rules.
439
00:18:14,658 --> 00:18:15,920
I do, too.
440
00:18:15,964 --> 00:18:18,097
I don't want you talking to him
about anything
441
00:18:18,140 --> 00:18:19,533
having to do
with anything about us.
442
00:18:19,576 --> 00:18:20,360
Same with you.
443
00:18:20,403 --> 00:18:21,578
And I want you
to stop
444
00:18:21,622 --> 00:18:23,537
spying on me
with those binoculars
445
00:18:23,580 --> 00:18:25,930
like you're on some kind
of African safari.
446
00:18:25,974 --> 00:18:27,497
And you cannot talk
447
00:18:27,541 --> 00:18:31,153
to Ira or any of my
ex-boyfriends, for that matter.
448
00:18:31,197 --> 00:18:33,068
This list is getting long.
449
00:18:33,112 --> 00:18:34,896
Maybe we should write it down.
450
00:18:34,939 --> 00:18:36,332
Hey.
451
00:18:37,420 --> 00:18:38,769
ADULT SHELDON:
In that moment,
452
00:18:38,813 --> 00:18:40,597
I had an epiphany.
453
00:18:40,641 --> 00:18:45,254
I could draw up a contract
for any social relationship.
454
00:18:46,864 --> 00:18:49,563
It was a helpful way
to remove ambiguity
455
00:18:49,606 --> 00:18:51,956
in a world that was often hard
to understand.
456
00:18:52,000 --> 00:18:53,915
Article three--
457
00:18:53,958 --> 00:18:56,135
Sheldon will not spy
458
00:18:56,178 --> 00:18:59,399
on Meemaw's house
with binoculars.
459
00:18:59,442 --> 00:19:01,052
Type that one in bold.
460
00:19:11,019 --> 00:19:13,282
Please sign and date.
461
00:19:13,326 --> 00:19:15,850
You know, Sheldon,
I'm a notary, if that helps.
462
00:19:15,893 --> 00:19:18,200
Just when I thought
you couldn't get cooler.
463
00:19:18,244 --> 00:19:20,463
ADULT SHELDON:
I would go on
464
00:19:20,507 --> 00:19:23,205
to draw up such contracts
throughout my life--
465
00:19:23,249 --> 00:19:24,989
with roommates,
466
00:19:25,033 --> 00:19:27,296
with my wife.
467
00:19:28,297 --> 00:19:30,647
Even with my own children.
31795
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