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Previously, onYoung Sheldon...
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I've been corresponding
with Dr. John Sturgis
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00:00:04,787 --> 00:00:06,049
at East Texas Tech.
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00:00:06,093 --> 00:00:08,051
He said I could audit
his course.
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00:00:08,095 --> 00:00:10,010
Connie, I would like
to see you again.
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00:00:10,053 --> 00:00:11,968
Perhaps we could have
dinner sometime.
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00:00:12,012 --> 00:00:14,057
Yes, we would love that.
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00:00:14,101 --> 00:00:15,580
We would?
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00:00:15,624 --> 00:00:17,582
If they get married,
we immediately double
10
00:00:17,626 --> 00:00:19,802
the number of smart people
in our family.
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00:00:19,845 --> 00:00:21,717
Hello, Dr. Sturgis.
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00:00:21,760 --> 00:00:23,153
Hello, Sheldon.
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00:00:23,197 --> 00:00:26,635
Can you see yourself
living here? I can.
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00:00:27,723 --> 00:00:31,031
♪
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00:00:31,074 --> 00:00:34,295
Mmm. Good ratio of hot dog
chunks to spaghetti.
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00:00:34,338 --> 00:00:36,949
I've been experimenting.
Glad you noticed. Kids!
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00:00:36,993 --> 00:00:38,951
Wash up for dinner!
18
00:00:38,995 --> 00:00:41,128
Now, who on earth is that?
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00:00:42,303 --> 00:00:44,783
And don't be picking out
all the chunks.
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00:00:44,827 --> 00:00:46,133
Aw.
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00:00:51,138 --> 00:00:53,009
Sorry I'm a little late.
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00:00:53,053 --> 00:00:56,621
: My pant leg
got stuck in the chain.
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00:00:56,665 --> 00:00:57,970
Who are you?
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00:00:58,014 --> 00:00:59,842
I'm John Sturgis.
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Sheldon invited me to dinner.
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Aha.
27
00:01:04,368 --> 00:01:07,458
Okay. Um, come in, I guess.
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00:01:07,502 --> 00:01:08,764
Sheldon?
29
00:01:08,807 --> 00:01:10,113
SHELDON:
Coming!
30
00:01:10,157 --> 00:01:12,202
This is for you.
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00:01:12,246 --> 00:01:15,162
It's cheese and
summer sausages.
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00:01:15,205 --> 00:01:16,815
Thank you.
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00:01:16,859 --> 00:01:19,862
Summer sausage means it
doesn't need to be refrigerated.
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00:01:19,905 --> 00:01:21,124
Is that so?
35
00:01:21,168 --> 00:01:22,299
It is.
36
00:01:22,343 --> 00:01:24,040
Okay. Sheldon?
37
00:01:24,084 --> 00:01:25,694
Dr. Sturgis, welcome.
38
00:01:25,737 --> 00:01:27,087
Thank you, Sheldon.
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00:01:27,130 --> 00:01:29,089
Sheldon, you think
you might've let me know
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00:01:29,132 --> 00:01:30,873
you invited company
over for dinner?
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00:01:30,916 --> 00:01:34,006
I did think about it, but
I was afraid you might say no.
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00:01:34,050 --> 00:01:35,356
Come see my train set.
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00:01:35,399 --> 00:01:36,487
All right!
44
00:01:38,794 --> 00:01:41,666
♪ Nobody else
is stronger than I am ♪
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00:01:41,710 --> 00:01:44,495
♪ Yesterday I moved a mountain
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♪ I bet I could be your hero
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♪ I am a mighty little man
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♪ I am a mighty little man.♪
49
00:02:01,382 --> 00:02:03,166
Good Lord.
50
00:02:03,210 --> 00:02:05,516
You mean he just showed up
out of nowhere?
51
00:02:05,560 --> 00:02:08,432
Yep. He's out in the garage
playing trains with Sheldon.
52
00:02:09,390 --> 00:02:10,739
Why's your hair wet?
53
00:02:10,782 --> 00:02:13,002
If you must know,
I was doing my water aerobics,
54
00:02:13,045 --> 00:02:14,699
and my swimming cap fell off.
55
00:02:14,743 --> 00:02:16,919
This Sturgis fella didn't
say a word to you?
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00:02:16,962 --> 00:02:19,182
If he did, do you think I would
have been doing frog kicks
57
00:02:19,226 --> 00:02:21,228
at the YMCA?
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00:02:21,271 --> 00:02:22,925
You look great.
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00:02:26,233 --> 00:02:29,845
O gauge trains
are definitely the best.
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00:02:29,888 --> 00:02:32,804
Oh,yes, they are.
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00:02:34,110 --> 00:02:36,199
Oh, well,
what a pleasant surprise.
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00:02:36,243 --> 00:02:38,027
Oh, good. You're here, too.
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00:02:38,070 --> 00:02:39,855
I am.
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00:02:39,898 --> 00:02:40,943
Are y'all about ready
for dinner?
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00:02:40,986 --> 00:02:42,205
I am.
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00:02:42,249 --> 00:02:44,076
Well, then, let's go.
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00:02:44,120 --> 00:02:45,774
Meemaw, you smell like chlorine.
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00:02:45,817 --> 00:02:48,298
Why say it?Hmm.
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00:02:51,345 --> 00:02:52,868
You weren't kidding.
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00:02:52,911 --> 00:02:56,132
Spaghetti and hot dogs
is delightful.
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00:02:56,176 --> 00:02:57,394
SHELDON:
Even better
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00:02:57,438 --> 00:02:59,135
since Mom perfected
the chunk ratio.
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00:02:59,179 --> 00:03:01,964
So, Dr. Sturgis,
Sheldon tells us
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00:03:02,007 --> 00:03:03,879
you're a guest professor
at the university.
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00:03:03,922 --> 00:03:05,315
I am.Hmm.
76
00:03:05,359 --> 00:03:07,317
Does that mean that
you're only here temporarily?
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00:03:07,361 --> 00:03:09,319
Well, that's the plan for now.
78
00:03:10,712 --> 00:03:14,498
But I could be enticed to stay.
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00:03:15,586 --> 00:03:17,588
Meemaw, I do believe
there was subtext there.
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00:03:17,632 --> 00:03:18,894
Did you pick up on it?
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00:03:18,937 --> 00:03:20,200
Yeah.
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00:03:20,243 --> 00:03:22,506
Was I correct to infer
there was subtext there?
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00:03:22,550 --> 00:03:23,594
You were.
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00:03:23,638 --> 00:03:25,640
Okay, we're all good.
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00:03:26,858 --> 00:03:28,556
I can't believe
they're making me sit and eat
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00:03:28,599 --> 00:03:29,905
at the kiddie table.
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00:03:29,948 --> 00:03:31,428
It's better here.
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00:03:31,472 --> 00:03:32,690
How?
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00:03:32,734 --> 00:03:34,257
We don't have to pray,
eat our vegetables,
90
00:03:34,301 --> 00:03:35,693
and we can curse.
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00:03:35,737 --> 00:03:37,521
Hmm. Maybe you're right.
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00:03:37,565 --> 00:03:40,350
Course I am, you ass-face.
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00:03:41,656 --> 00:03:43,440
SHELDON: Dr. Sturgis,
do you think
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00:03:43,484 --> 00:03:45,094
we're ever going
to unify gravity
95
00:03:45,137 --> 00:03:47,270
with the other three
fundamental forces?
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00:03:47,314 --> 00:03:50,447
I have a sticky note
on my refrigerator
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00:03:50,491 --> 00:03:53,363
which reminds me every day
to do just that.
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00:03:53,407 --> 00:03:56,018
When did you decide
to focus your research
99
00:03:56,061 --> 00:03:57,280
on quantum...Um, Sheldon, I think
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00:03:57,324 --> 00:03:59,717
you're kind of dominating
the conversation.
101
00:03:59,761 --> 00:04:02,329
Why don't you let your
meemaw talk to Dr. Sturgis.
102
00:04:03,243 --> 00:04:05,027
Oh, I'm sorry. By all means.
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00:04:05,070 --> 00:04:06,115
Thank you.
104
00:04:06,158 --> 00:04:08,944
Connie?Yes, John.
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00:04:08,987 --> 00:04:12,861
Do you smell like chlorine
on purpose?
106
00:04:16,343 --> 00:04:17,779
You sure I can't give you
a ride home?
107
00:04:17,822 --> 00:04:19,563
I can throw your bike
in the back of my pickup truck.
108
00:04:19,607 --> 00:04:22,653
Thank you, no.
I-I enjoy the night air.
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00:04:22,697 --> 00:04:23,741
Plus,
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00:04:23,785 --> 00:04:24,873
hot dogs and spaghetti
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00:04:24,916 --> 00:04:26,570
is a highly caloric event
112
00:04:26,614 --> 00:04:29,747
that demands an aerobic
effort on my part.
113
00:04:29,791 --> 00:04:32,315
Well, it was a pleasure
spending the evening with you.
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00:04:32,359 --> 00:04:33,925
We should do it again sometime.
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00:04:33,969 --> 00:04:35,318
Great. When?
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00:04:35,362 --> 00:04:36,580
How about tomorrow?
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00:04:36,624 --> 00:04:38,365
You know what,
we'll figure it out.
118
00:04:38,408 --> 00:04:40,889
Come on, let me see you
to your Schwinn.
119
00:04:40,932 --> 00:04:42,325
Bye.
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00:04:42,369 --> 00:04:44,240
Good night.
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00:04:44,284 --> 00:04:46,634
Well, that was
the most stimulating dinner
122
00:04:46,677 --> 00:04:48,244
I've ever had in this house.
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00:04:48,288 --> 00:04:49,506
Glad you enjoyed it.
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00:04:49,550 --> 00:04:51,769
That man is a true role model.
125
00:04:51,813 --> 00:04:54,250
Well, it's nice you finally
got a man you can look up to.
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00:04:54,294 --> 00:04:56,078
Oh, believe me, I know.
127
00:05:05,217 --> 00:05:07,263
You gonna keep it
all bottled up,
128
00:05:07,307 --> 00:05:09,352
or you want to
talk about it?
What?
129
00:05:09,396 --> 00:05:11,049
I'm fine.
130
00:05:11,093 --> 00:05:12,268
There's nothing to talk about.
131
00:05:12,312 --> 00:05:14,314
You sure?Yeah.
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00:05:14,357 --> 00:05:15,924
Sweet dreams.
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00:05:22,931 --> 00:05:25,107
You know you want
to talk about it.
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00:05:25,150 --> 00:05:26,543
You saw it.
135
00:05:26,587 --> 00:05:28,893
My own son can't even imagine me
being a role model?
136
00:05:28,937 --> 00:05:30,634
How am I supposed to
be okay with that?
137
00:05:30,678 --> 00:05:32,810
You're a role
model for Georgie.
138
00:05:32,854 --> 00:05:34,072
I used to be.
139
00:05:34,116 --> 00:05:36,292
Now he wants to grow up
and be Tony Danza.
140
00:05:36,336 --> 00:05:38,599
Did you forget you
have a daughter
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00:05:38,642 --> 00:05:40,165
who would really benefit
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00:05:40,209 --> 00:05:42,559
from having a good
man to look up to?
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00:05:42,603 --> 00:05:44,387
Oh, dear Lord.
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00:05:44,431 --> 00:05:46,433
You didforget.
145
00:05:46,476 --> 00:05:48,043
I didn't forget. I just...
146
00:05:48,086 --> 00:05:50,437
I don't know how
to spend time with her.
147
00:05:50,480 --> 00:05:51,742
It ain't rocket
science, George.
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00:05:51,786 --> 00:05:52,961
She's a little girl.
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00:05:53,004 --> 00:05:54,354
Ask her what she wants to do,
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00:05:54,397 --> 00:05:55,920
and then do it with her.
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00:05:55,964 --> 00:05:58,183
Oh, yeah. I suppose.
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00:05:58,227 --> 00:06:01,404
Trust me. She'll be thrilled
to spend some time with you.
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00:06:01,448 --> 00:06:02,797
Okay.
154
00:06:02,840 --> 00:06:05,234
Yeah, I'll give it a try.
155
00:06:07,279 --> 00:06:10,108
Hey, when we do, you know,
whatever it is she likes to do,
156
00:06:10,152 --> 00:06:11,414
you're gonna be there, right?
157
00:06:11,458 --> 00:06:12,676
No.
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00:06:14,722 --> 00:06:16,419
Well, this just got harder.
159
00:06:22,469 --> 00:06:25,167
Meemaw?
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00:06:25,210 --> 00:06:27,082
Meemaw!
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00:06:27,125 --> 00:06:28,605
What?
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00:06:28,649 --> 00:06:30,433
I've been researching things
163
00:06:30,477 --> 00:06:32,435
that you and I can do
with Dr. Sturgis.
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00:06:32,479 --> 00:06:33,784
There's a lecture tonight
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00:06:33,828 --> 00:06:35,264
at Rice University called
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00:06:35,307 --> 00:06:37,353
"What's happening
at the center of our galaxy."
167
00:06:37,397 --> 00:06:38,876
Let me just stop you
right there.
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00:06:38,920 --> 00:06:40,965
Don't worry. I know
what's happening at the center,
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00:06:41,009 --> 00:06:42,967
but I would never spoil it
for you.
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00:06:43,011 --> 00:06:44,969
Look, I know you're invested
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00:06:45,013 --> 00:06:46,667
in me and John
having a relationship,
172
00:06:46,710 --> 00:06:48,320
and I'm not saying we won't.
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00:06:48,364 --> 00:06:51,454
But it ain't gonna happen
with you always underfoot.
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00:06:51,498 --> 00:06:52,977
Have I been underfoot?
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00:06:53,021 --> 00:06:57,025
Honey, in order for grown-ups
to get to know each other,
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00:06:57,068 --> 00:06:59,723
they need to have
some alone time.
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00:06:59,767 --> 00:07:03,379
What if I'm around,
but I took a vow of silence?
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00:07:03,423 --> 00:07:05,076
Go home and have your breakfast.
179
00:07:06,556 --> 00:07:09,124
And then she said for grown-ups
to get to know each other,
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00:07:09,167 --> 00:07:10,995
they have to have time alone.
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00:07:11,039 --> 00:07:13,171
Makes sense. What else?
182
00:07:13,215 --> 00:07:16,827
Apparently my being underfoot
isn't conducive to romance.
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00:07:16,871 --> 00:07:18,568
This is very helpful.
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00:07:18,612 --> 00:07:19,917
Thank you.
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00:07:19,961 --> 00:07:22,137
I'm at your service.
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00:07:29,710 --> 00:07:30,624
Oh, Celeste, why do you always
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00:07:30,667 --> 00:07:31,799
fall for bad boys?
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00:07:31,842 --> 00:07:32,930
GEORGE SR.:
Hey.
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00:07:32,974 --> 00:07:34,410
Hi, Dad.
190
00:07:34,454 --> 00:07:35,803
What you doing?
191
00:07:35,846 --> 00:07:37,369
Am I in trouble?
192
00:07:37,413 --> 00:07:40,329
No, no.
Just-just checking in on you.
193
00:07:40,372 --> 00:07:41,548
Why?
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00:07:41,591 --> 00:07:44,725
'Cause you're my daughter
and I love you.
195
00:07:44,768 --> 00:07:46,378
This is getting weird.
196
00:07:46,422 --> 00:07:47,989
It is. I was just
thinking that, uh,
197
00:07:48,032 --> 00:07:49,730
you and me, you know,
198
00:07:49,773 --> 00:07:51,427
we don't spend much
time together.
199
00:07:51,471 --> 00:07:53,516
You know, we should
find something to do,
200
00:07:53,560 --> 00:07:55,213
just-just two of us.
201
00:07:55,257 --> 00:07:56,345
Like what?You tell me.
202
00:07:56,388 --> 00:07:58,782
What
203
00:08:00,828 --> 00:08:02,525
I'd like to be taken to dinner.
204
00:08:02,569 --> 00:08:05,049
Great. Where?
205
00:08:05,093 --> 00:08:08,531
To the fanciest restaurant
in all of Texas.
206
00:08:08,575 --> 00:08:09,837
Which is...?
207
00:08:09,880 --> 00:08:13,231
Red Lobster,
where the surf meets the turf.
208
00:08:14,276 --> 00:08:15,973
You got it.
209
00:08:16,017 --> 00:08:17,148
Thanks, Dad.
210
00:08:17,192 --> 00:08:19,281
Mom, you got to
take me shopping!
211
00:08:19,324 --> 00:08:21,675
I need a dress!
212
00:08:24,416 --> 00:08:26,027
Yeah?
213
00:08:26,070 --> 00:08:28,246
Connie, this is John Sturgis.
214
00:08:28,290 --> 00:08:29,857
Well, hello, John Sturgis.
215
00:08:29,900 --> 00:08:31,206
How are you?
216
00:08:31,249 --> 00:08:33,469
I chipped a tooth
on a peach pit this morning,
217
00:08:33,513 --> 00:08:35,819
but otherwise, I'm okay.
218
00:08:35,863 --> 00:08:37,342
Good. Good to hear it.
219
00:08:37,386 --> 00:08:38,822
Next order of business.
220
00:08:38,866 --> 00:08:41,216
I would like to have dinner
with you tonight,
221
00:08:41,259 --> 00:08:42,696
just the two of us.
222
00:08:42,739 --> 00:08:46,526
Oh, well, that sounds nice.
223
00:08:46,569 --> 00:08:48,223
What'd you have in mind?
224
00:08:48,266 --> 00:08:53,097
I'd like to come to your house
and cook you a Szechuan feast.
225
00:08:53,141 --> 00:08:54,577
I'm sorry, a what?
226
00:08:54,621 --> 00:08:55,796
Szechuan.
227
00:08:55,839 --> 00:08:58,581
It's a style
of Chinese cooking I learned
228
00:08:58,625 --> 00:09:00,801
when I was traveling
through China.
229
00:09:00,844 --> 00:09:03,804
Well, wonderful.
I would love that.
230
00:09:03,847 --> 00:09:05,893
Great. Do you have a wok?
231
00:09:05,936 --> 00:09:07,851
I do not.
232
00:09:07,895 --> 00:09:09,026
Not a problem.
233
00:09:09,070 --> 00:09:10,506
I have a travel wok.
234
00:09:11,551 --> 00:09:12,726
Okay.
235
00:09:12,769 --> 00:09:15,859
Uh, so, uh,
what do you say about 6:00?
236
00:09:15,903 --> 00:09:17,078
It's a date.
237
00:09:17,121 --> 00:09:18,383
Terrific.
238
00:09:18,427 --> 00:09:22,083
Oh, and, um, let's not
mention this to Sheldon
239
00:09:22,126 --> 00:09:24,912
so as to keep him
from being underfoot.
240
00:09:24,955 --> 00:09:27,349
Have you been talking to him?
241
00:09:27,392 --> 00:09:29,612
I have. See you later.
242
00:09:36,097 --> 00:09:39,013
Do I really need to get
dressed up to go to Red Lobster?
243
00:09:39,056 --> 00:09:40,884
You're getting dressed up
for your daughter.
244
00:09:40,928 --> 00:09:43,670
And that's a new shirt,
so be sure to ask for a bib.
245
00:09:43,713 --> 00:09:44,758
Oh!
246
00:09:48,065 --> 00:09:50,415
I'm ready.
247
00:09:50,459 --> 00:09:51,852
You're going to
dinner wearing that?
248
00:09:51,895 --> 00:09:54,637
I think you mean
she looks beautiful.
249
00:09:54,681 --> 00:09:57,118
You look beautiful.
250
00:09:57,161 --> 00:09:59,120
Why thank you, George.
251
00:09:59,163 --> 00:10:01,122
How 'bout we stick
with "Dad" tonight?
252
00:10:01,165 --> 00:10:03,254
Okay, but you call me Melissa.
253
00:10:04,995 --> 00:10:06,518
After you, Melissa.
254
00:10:06,562 --> 00:10:08,869
Thanks, George.
255
00:10:19,401 --> 00:10:21,403
♪
256
00:10:31,065 --> 00:10:32,327
:
Oh, my.
257
00:10:32,370 --> 00:10:34,111
I know, I look like
258
00:10:34,155 --> 00:10:37,245
a Teenage Mutant
Ninja Turtle.
259
00:10:37,288 --> 00:10:39,203
Well, come on in.
260
00:10:44,992 --> 00:10:46,689
Sheldon, come in the kitchen
for dinner.
261
00:10:46,733 --> 00:10:49,039
Can I eat out here
262
00:10:49,083 --> 00:10:51,955
Dr. Sturgis is having
a dinner date with Meemaw.
263
00:10:51,999 --> 00:10:53,217
I don't want to miss it.
264
00:10:53,261 --> 00:10:55,567
Fine.
265
00:10:57,308 --> 00:11:00,268
ADULT SHELTON:
During that time,
I saw three cars drive by
266
00:11:00,311 --> 00:11:03,314
and a raccoon dragging
a slice of pizza.
267
00:11:08,711 --> 00:11:11,105
["Small Town"
by John Mellencamp playing]
268
00:11:11,148 --> 00:11:13,194
♪ I was born in a small town
269
00:11:13,237 --> 00:11:15,631
Uh, table for two.
270
00:11:15,675 --> 00:11:17,241
No problem.
271
00:11:18,765 --> 00:11:20,375
♪ Probably die in a small town
272
00:11:20,418 --> 00:11:21,593
Allow me.
273
00:11:21,637 --> 00:11:24,596
You are allowed.
274
00:11:26,903 --> 00:11:28,035
Thank you.
275
00:11:28,078 --> 00:11:30,907
Yes, thank you.
276
00:11:30,951 --> 00:11:33,736
If I may.
277
00:11:33,780 --> 00:11:36,347
♪ My job is so small-town...
278
00:11:36,391 --> 00:11:38,088
So what do you think?
279
00:11:38,132 --> 00:11:41,744
I think we might
be underdressed.
280
00:11:41,788 --> 00:11:43,964
♪
281
00:11:46,270 --> 00:11:48,359
♪ Ain't no woman
like the one I've got ♪
282
00:11:48,403 --> 00:11:51,667
The trick to a successful
Szechuan dinner
283
00:11:51,711 --> 00:11:53,538
is the Szechuan pepper.
284
00:11:53,582 --> 00:11:55,410
Okay.
285
00:11:55,453 --> 00:11:57,151
Now, you may notice
286
00:11:57,194 --> 00:11:59,544
your lips and tongue
getting numb.
287
00:11:59,588 --> 00:12:01,808
Then why are we eating it?
288
00:12:01,851 --> 00:12:04,027
'Cause it's yummy.
289
00:12:04,071 --> 00:12:06,073
Sure.
290
00:12:06,116 --> 00:12:08,597
So, what were you doing
wandering around China?
291
00:12:08,640 --> 00:12:12,906
Well, when I'm not doing
research or teaching,
292
00:12:12,949 --> 00:12:16,431
I enjoy taking the
path less traveled.
293
00:12:16,474 --> 00:12:19,173
I'm guessing it's a bike path.
294
00:12:19,216 --> 00:12:21,653
As a matter of
fact, it was.
295
00:12:21,697 --> 00:12:24,265
Everybody in China
rides bicycles.
296
00:12:24,308 --> 00:12:25,396
It's fantastic.
297
00:12:25,440 --> 00:12:28,138
Did you see the Great Wall?I did.
298
00:12:28,182 --> 00:12:30,097
Interesting fact:
299
00:12:30,140 --> 00:12:32,099
it's filled with
the dead bodies
300
00:12:32,142 --> 00:12:33,535
of the people
who built it.
301
00:12:33,578 --> 00:12:35,798
You don't say.
302
00:12:35,842 --> 00:12:37,800
Hundreds of thousands of them.
303
00:12:37,844 --> 00:12:39,497
Here, taste.
304
00:12:39,541 --> 00:12:40,803
♪ Can fill me up
305
00:12:43,066 --> 00:12:45,765
If it's just the two of us,
why can't I eat watching TV?
306
00:12:45,808 --> 00:12:47,897
'Cause you're having dinner
with your mother
307
00:12:47,941 --> 00:12:49,812
and it's a chance
for us to talk.
308
00:12:49,856 --> 00:12:52,293
Sheldon's having dinner and
looking out the window.
309
00:12:52,336 --> 00:12:53,947
Want me to have him join us?
310
00:12:53,990 --> 00:12:55,035
No.
311
00:12:55,078 --> 00:12:56,601
Then quit complaining.
312
00:12:58,647 --> 00:13:00,214
So what do you
want to talk about?
313
00:13:00,257 --> 00:13:01,824
Um, I don't know.
314
00:13:01,868 --> 00:13:03,304
How's school?
315
00:13:03,347 --> 00:13:05,785
It's school;
it's a turd fest.
316
00:13:05,828 --> 00:13:08,788
Charming.
317
00:13:08,831 --> 00:13:10,224
Are you dating anyone?
318
00:13:10,267 --> 00:13:12,835
Nah, nobody up to my standards.
319
00:13:12,879 --> 00:13:14,794
Sure.
320
00:13:14,837 --> 00:13:16,447
Can I ask you
a question?
321
00:13:16,491 --> 00:13:18,754
Course, you can
ask me anything.
322
00:13:18,798 --> 00:13:21,061
Were you pregnant with me
when you married Dad?
323
00:13:22,671 --> 00:13:25,326
Um... why would you ask that?
324
00:13:25,369 --> 00:13:26,762
Sheldon said so.
325
00:13:26,806 --> 00:13:27,850
How would Sheldon know?
326
00:13:27,894 --> 00:13:28,982
He did the math.
327
00:13:29,025 --> 00:13:30,070
What math?
328
00:13:30,113 --> 00:13:31,854
He said the time
between my birthday
329
00:13:31,898 --> 00:13:34,335
and your wedding day
was six months.
330
00:13:34,378 --> 00:13:37,251
Um... yeah.
331
00:13:37,294 --> 00:13:39,819
That's because you...
332
00:13:39,862 --> 00:13:42,038
were born premature.
333
00:13:42,082 --> 00:13:43,735
I've seen my birth certificate,
334
00:13:43,779 --> 00:13:45,650
it said I weighed nine pounds.
335
00:13:45,694 --> 00:13:47,957
Yes, that's true.
336
00:13:48,001 --> 00:13:52,396
You were a big fat preemie.
337
00:13:52,440 --> 00:13:54,224
Let's talk about
something else.
338
00:13:54,268 --> 00:13:55,312
Why?
339
00:13:55,356 --> 00:13:57,010
'Cause I'd very much like to.
340
00:13:59,012 --> 00:14:00,622
And then Heather B
said she didn't want
341
00:14:00,665 --> 00:14:02,189
to play tetherball
with Heather M anymore.
342
00:14:02,232 --> 00:14:04,582
Wait. Th
343
00:14:04,626 --> 00:14:05,757
Oh, yeah.
344
00:14:05,801 --> 00:14:07,020
Which one's which?
345
00:14:07,063 --> 00:14:08,195
Heather B
is stuck up.
346
00:14:08,238 --> 00:14:09,849
Heather M used
to be stuck up,
347
00:14:09,892 --> 00:14:12,025
but then she got
a scoliosis brace.
348
00:14:12,068 --> 00:14:13,765
Maybe she shouldn't
be playing tetherball.
349
00:14:13,809 --> 00:14:16,246
That's what Heather B said.
350
00:14:17,595 --> 00:14:19,336
This is delicious,
351
00:14:19,380 --> 00:14:22,383
but you were not kidding
about the spice.
352
00:14:22,426 --> 00:14:24,037
I'm about to break
a sweat here.
353
00:14:24,080 --> 00:14:26,430
Well, here's something
354
00:14:26,474 --> 00:14:28,215
you might find interesting.
355
00:14:28,258 --> 00:14:31,783
Spicy food is typically
found in warmer climates
356
00:14:31,827 --> 00:14:33,655
because it
induces sweating,
357
00:14:33,698 --> 00:14:35,918
which in turn,
cools people off.
358
00:14:35,962 --> 00:14:38,529
So what does the runny nose
do for me?
359
00:14:38,573 --> 00:14:41,228
It allows me to, uh,
360
00:14:41,271 --> 00:14:44,840
gallantly offer you
my handkerchief.
361
00:14:44,884 --> 00:14:46,494
You are such a gentleman.
362
00:14:46,537 --> 00:14:47,669
When I was younger,
363
00:14:47,712 --> 00:14:49,976
I read a book
on etiquette.
364
00:14:50,019 --> 00:14:51,629
That's how I know
365
00:14:51,673 --> 00:14:53,675
that if I ever have an
audience at the Vatican,
366
00:14:53,718 --> 00:14:56,547
I should wear evening
attire or a sack coat.
367
00:14:56,591 --> 00:14:59,507
I don't know
what a sack coat is,
368
00:14:59,550 --> 00:15:03,293
but I'm sure
you'd look handsome in it.
369
00:15:03,337 --> 00:15:05,905
Thank you.
370
00:15:08,646 --> 00:15:11,301
You know, it's a long
bike ride at night.
371
00:15:12,824 --> 00:15:14,826
If you want...
372
00:15:14,870 --> 00:15:17,438
you're welcome to stay.
373
00:15:17,481 --> 00:15:20,963
No, it's fine, I-I have
a headlight on my bicycle.
374
00:15:21,007 --> 00:15:23,661
Oh, sure, sure.
375
00:15:26,012 --> 00:15:27,970
Although, I hear
it might rain.
376
00:15:28,014 --> 00:15:32,192
No worries. I have
a pocket poncho.
377
00:15:32,235 --> 00:15:34,237
So you do.
378
00:15:35,586 --> 00:15:37,284
John.
379
00:15:37,327 --> 00:15:39,895
I'm inviting you
380
00:15:39,939 --> 00:15:42,593
to spend the night.
381
00:15:42,637 --> 00:15:43,812
Oh.
382
00:15:46,510 --> 00:15:48,164
No, thank you.
383
00:15:53,953 --> 00:15:55,780
Don't they make babies
that are born too soon
384
00:15:55,824 --> 00:15:56,999
stay in the hospital?
385
00:15:57,043 --> 00:16:01,134
Normally, yes, but you were born
386
00:16:01,177 --> 00:16:04,006
with such a great head
full of hair
387
00:16:04,050 --> 00:16:05,660
that they sent you home with us.
388
00:16:07,009 --> 00:16:09,446
That's the first thing you've
said that makes sense.
389
00:16:10,795 --> 00:16:12,797
I'm glad we had dinner;
this was nice.
390
00:16:12,841 --> 00:16:15,452
Yeah, fun stuff.
391
00:16:15,496 --> 00:16:18,803
Well, don't want to miss
Who's The Boss.
392
00:16:22,242 --> 00:16:24,635
Lord, forgive me for lying.
393
00:16:24,679 --> 00:16:26,507
I'll tell him the truth
when he's 30. Amen.
394
00:16:26,550 --> 00:16:28,161
[Who's The Bosstheme music
plays on TV]
395
00:16:28,204 --> 00:16:30,250
Your lobster, madam.
396
00:16:30,293 --> 00:16:31,991
Thank you.
397
00:16:33,731 --> 00:16:36,517
SERVER: Would you like me
to open it for her?
398
00:16:36,560 --> 00:16:37,909
GEORGE SR.:
Oh, I got it, thanks.
399
00:16:40,782 --> 00:16:43,263
You all right?This thing's
freaking me out.
400
00:16:43,306 --> 00:16:45,874
Here, let me help you with that.
401
00:16:47,223 --> 00:16:50,183
Here. Okay.
402
00:16:50,226 --> 00:16:52,620
The trick is not
to make eye contact.
403
00:16:52,663 --> 00:16:54,491
Tell him.
404
00:16:54,535 --> 00:16:56,015
Here.
405
00:16:56,058 --> 00:16:59,105
All right, now,
we just... snap her off
406
00:16:59,148 --> 00:17:01,672
like that... pop.
407
00:17:01,716 --> 00:17:04,284
Grab this guy here,
408
00:17:04,327 --> 00:17:06,199
and we crack the claw.
409
00:17:06,242 --> 00:17:09,941
And then you take out
a little meat...
410
00:17:09,985 --> 00:17:12,074
dunk it in some butter,
411
00:17:12,118 --> 00:17:13,989
and then you eat it.
412
00:17:15,991 --> 00:17:17,601
Holy moly.
413
00:17:17,645 --> 00:17:18,820
It's good, huh?
414
00:17:18,863 --> 00:17:19,908
Unbelievable.
415
00:17:19,951 --> 00:17:21,649
I'll leave you to it.
416
00:17:22,867 --> 00:17:25,261
No. Sit with me.
417
00:17:27,133 --> 00:17:28,438
Okay.
418
00:17:31,180 --> 00:17:34,314
When I grow up, I'm gonna
eat lobster every night.
419
00:17:34,357 --> 00:17:37,317
Well, hon, you better stay in
school and get a good education.
420
00:17:37,360 --> 00:17:40,146
I was thinking I'd
just marry a rich guy.
421
00:17:40,189 --> 00:17:43,149
Sure, that's a way to go.
422
00:17:43,192 --> 00:17:45,629
Or a guy who works
at Red Lobster.
423
00:17:45,673 --> 00:17:47,631
That's another way to go.
424
00:18:00,949 --> 00:18:03,517
You seem quiet.
Is everything okay?
425
00:18:03,560 --> 00:18:06,563
Are you not interested in me?
426
00:18:06,607 --> 00:18:09,218
Of course I am.
I'm very interested.
427
00:18:09,262 --> 00:18:11,264
Then how come when I...
428
00:18:11,307 --> 00:18:14,832
I invited you to spend
the night, I got rejected?
429
00:18:14,876 --> 00:18:16,921
I did do that, didn't I?
430
00:18:16,965 --> 00:18:19,010
Good Lord, yes.
431
00:18:19,054 --> 00:18:20,708
I can explain.
432
00:18:20,751 --> 00:18:22,057
Please do.
433
00:18:22,101 --> 00:18:25,582
I didn't want you
to think that I would think
434
00:18:25,626 --> 00:18:27,323
that you were
the sort of woman
435
00:18:27,367 --> 00:18:29,151
who would engage in coitus
436
00:18:29,195 --> 00:18:31,588
simply because I cooked you
a Szechuan dinner.
437
00:18:31,632 --> 00:18:33,590
It was better
before you explained.
438
00:18:33,634 --> 00:18:37,377
All right, let me try
a different tack.
439
00:18:40,293 --> 00:18:41,729
Connie.
440
00:18:41,772 --> 00:18:42,991
Oh, boy.
441
00:18:43,034 --> 00:18:44,688
Would you honor me
with an evening
442
00:18:44,732 --> 00:18:47,952
of intimate relations?
443
00:18:47,996 --> 00:18:50,259
Well, that is
a different tack.
444
00:19:10,714 --> 00:19:12,238
This is very promising.
445
00:19:12,281 --> 00:19:13,848
What's happening?
446
00:19:13,891 --> 00:19:16,851
Dr. Sturgis's bike
is still at Meemaw's.
447
00:19:16,894 --> 00:19:17,939
So?
448
00:19:17,982 --> 00:19:20,159
That means he probably is, too.
449
00:19:20,202 --> 00:19:22,291
You need to get a life.
450
00:19:22,335 --> 00:19:23,901
There he is.
451
00:19:31,257 --> 00:19:33,998
Mom, Mom, Mom.
452
00:19:34,042 --> 00:19:35,522
What's wrong
453
00:19:35,565 --> 00:19:38,264
Dr. Sturgis and Meemaw
had their first sleepover.
454
00:19:38,307 --> 00:19:40,353
It's a big step in
their relationship.
455
00:19:40,396 --> 00:19:42,659
I'm going to go
congratulate them.
456
00:19:42,703 --> 00:19:44,966
Hey, put on a jacket,
it's chilly out.
457
00:19:45,009 --> 00:19:46,576
Will do!
458
00:19:46,620 --> 00:19:48,317
Or try saying he can't go.
459
00:19:48,361 --> 00:19:50,276
Oh, never mind,
you can't go!
460
00:19:50,319 --> 00:19:52,191
SHELDON: The last thing
I heard was jacket!
461
00:19:52,234 --> 00:19:54,236
:
Oh.
30999
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