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- Synced and corrected by VitoSilans -
-- www.Addic7ed.com --
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00:00:15,432 --> 00:00:17,141
Okay, so you walked Brooklyn Bridge,
3
00:00:17,142 --> 00:00:19,185
and that was the night you met Dad.
4
00:00:19,186 --> 00:00:22,062
And then how long until
you guys got together?
5
00:00:22,064 --> 00:00:25,691
This story is about the
journey, not the destination.
6
00:00:25,692 --> 00:00:27,860
I'm going to get with
a whole bunch of dudes
7
00:00:27,861 --> 00:00:29,446
before I wind up with Dad.
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00:00:30,447 --> 00:00:33,658
You know, I'm okay with
skipping to the destination.
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00:00:33,659 --> 00:00:37,077
I'm going to need you
to live in the moment here.
10
00:00:37,079 --> 00:00:39,372
Which, back in the
day, I was terrible at.
11
00:00:40,707 --> 00:00:43,918
After my super triumphant
Brooklyn Bridge Walk,
12
00:00:43,919 --> 00:00:46,003
I backslid.
13
00:00:46,004 --> 00:00:49,715
Instead of living in the moment,
I decided to live in my phone.
14
00:00:49,716 --> 00:00:51,759
- Morning!
- Can you knock?
15
00:00:51,760 --> 00:00:54,554
Nope! Were you looking
at your old texts with Ian?
16
00:00:54,555 --> 00:00:55,763
No.
17
00:00:55,764 --> 00:00:57,796
I was looking at porn.
18
00:00:57,799 --> 00:00:59,642
Liar! You're scared of porn.
19
00:00:59,643 --> 00:01:01,602
I'm not scared of porn.
20
00:01:01,603 --> 00:01:04,564
I'm scared of the government
tracking my search history.
21
00:01:04,565 --> 00:01:06,858
Stop wallowing. Put these on.
22
00:01:06,859 --> 00:01:08,901
It's Fonda time!
23
00:01:08,902 --> 00:01:11,695
Up!
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00:01:11,697 --> 00:01:13,990
- So, what are we thinking for tonight?
- Uh,
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00:01:13,991 --> 00:01:16,826
probably just going to stay in
and organize my darkroom closet.
26
00:01:16,827 --> 00:01:19,328
You mean look at pictures of Ian
27
00:01:19,329 --> 00:01:21,122
while listening to
Drops of Jupiter on loop
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00:01:21,123 --> 00:01:23,944
like you do every time things
don't work out with a guy?
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00:01:23,947 --> 00:01:25,418
♪ Tell me... ♪
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00:01:25,419 --> 00:01:28,713
♪ Did the wind sweep you
off your feet? Did you... ♪
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It's my comfort song.
It works for everything.
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00:01:32,057 --> 00:01:34,468
You remember when the dry cleaner
shrunk my favorite sweater?
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00:01:34,469 --> 00:01:37,722
♪ Tell me, did the wind
sweep you off your feet? ♪
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00:01:37,723 --> 00:01:40,530
You think Queen Jane stays
in on a Saturday night? No!
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00:01:40,533 --> 00:01:42,894
She's out on the town, crushing dick.
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00:01:42,895 --> 00:01:46,629
Alright. I wish you'd
stop saying "crushing dick"
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00:01:46,632 --> 00:01:49,150
about feminist icons, but you're right.
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00:01:50,861 --> 00:01:53,696
Good!
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00:01:53,697 --> 00:01:57,574
' Cause I got us into FOMO tonight.
40
00:01:57,576 --> 00:01:58,811
What's FOMO?
41
00:01:58,814 --> 00:02:00,703
It stands for "fear of missing out."
42
00:02:00,704 --> 00:02:02,955
Yeah, I know what
it stands for. Thanks.
43
00:02:02,956 --> 00:02:04,248
How do we go to it?
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00:02:04,249 --> 00:02:06,000
Oh.
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00:02:06,001 --> 00:02:08,002
FOMO is the name of this new club,
46
00:02:08,003 --> 00:02:10,160
which is a total sensory overload.
47
00:02:10,163 --> 00:02:12,507
There are a million different rooms.
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A rave room, a foam party room,
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00:02:14,801 --> 00:02:16,844
a topless room, a tapas room,
50
00:02:16,845 --> 00:02:19,055
a topless tapas room.
51
00:02:19,056 --> 00:02:22,934
They say there's no such thing
as having FOMO inside of FOMO.
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00:02:22,935 --> 00:02:25,353
This will be perfect for you. Plus,
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00:02:25,354 --> 00:02:27,855
I'm going to need a big night out
after I end things with Charlie.
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00:02:27,856 --> 00:02:30,483
Wait, you're ending things with Charlie?
55
00:02:30,484 --> 00:02:32,944
I gotta. He's smothering me.
56
00:02:35,864 --> 00:02:37,240
Morning, Valentina!
57
00:02:37,241 --> 00:02:41,077
I got us coffees from a
real New York bod-ega
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00:02:41,078 --> 00:02:43,287
and this chicken for
dinner. I opened the package,
59
00:02:43,288 --> 00:02:46,082
but I have no idea what happens next.
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00:02:46,083 --> 00:02:47,917
This morning,
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00:02:47,918 --> 00:02:49,460
I told him the best New York bagels
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00:02:49,461 --> 00:02:53,505
are in Jersey just to have
a little time to myself.
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00:02:53,507 --> 00:02:55,550
Anyway, I already drafted up a text.
64
00:02:55,551 --> 00:02:57,802
You cannot text break up with Charlie.
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00:02:57,803 --> 00:03:00,221
You are crazy into the guy.
You just told me yesterday
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00:03:00,222 --> 00:03:01,347
you were obsessed with him.
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00:03:01,348 --> 00:03:03,307
I did not.
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00:03:03,308 --> 00:03:05,394
I'm obsessed with him!
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00:03:07,062 --> 00:03:10,297
Fine, I'm conflicted, okay?
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00:03:10,300 --> 00:03:11,982
I mean,
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00:03:11,984 --> 00:03:14,026
he is fun...
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00:03:14,027 --> 00:03:15,278
and sweet
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00:03:15,279 --> 00:03:17,154
and hot.
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00:03:17,155 --> 00:03:19,407
Plus, he does this thing
in bed with his tongue
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00:03:19,408 --> 00:03:22,201
where he folds it into a cloverleaf.
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00:03:22,202 --> 00:03:23,953
We call it lucky charming.
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00:03:23,954 --> 00:03:26,414
Uh, breakfast!
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00:03:26,415 --> 00:03:29,250
- Most important meal of the day!
- Girl...
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00:03:29,251 --> 00:03:31,460
But he's always around.
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00:03:31,461 --> 00:03:33,796
Valentina. Of course you
think he's smothering you
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00:03:33,797 --> 00:03:35,965
because you're the only person he knows
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in the entire city.
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00:03:37,759 --> 00:03:39,635
You just have to help
him make some friends.
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00:03:39,636 --> 00:03:41,804
Ew. Sounds hard.
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00:03:41,805 --> 00:03:44,599
Yeah, well, if I have to be
mature and stop dwelling on Ian,
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00:03:44,600 --> 00:03:46,142
then you need to be mature
87
00:03:46,143 --> 00:03:48,686
and try a little harder with Charlie.
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Fine!
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00:03:51,815 --> 00:03:53,104
Wow.
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00:03:53,107 --> 00:03:54,983
I can totally feel us growing right now.
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00:03:54,985 --> 00:03:56,861
I think I finally even made good coffee.
92
00:04:02,784 --> 00:04:05,287
Mm-hmm!
93
00:04:06,330 --> 00:04:09,873
So, how do I make Charlie friends?
94
00:04:09,875 --> 00:04:11,876
Oh! I've got it.
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00:04:11,877 --> 00:04:14,754
Step one, I make him a Grindr account.
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00:04:14,755 --> 00:04:16,297
Step two, the guy shows up.
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00:04:16,298 --> 00:04:18,299
Step three, I lock the door...
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00:04:18,300 --> 00:04:21,385
Or we could invite those guys
we hung out with last weekend
99
00:04:21,386 --> 00:04:24,263
to come out with us. I feel like
Charlie really hit it off with them
100
00:04:24,264 --> 00:04:25,806
playing Drunk Face Jenga.
101
00:04:25,807 --> 00:04:28,017
You have to have this. You have this.
102
00:04:30,479 --> 00:04:33,189
Oh my god! This is the
best night of my life!
103
00:04:34,441 --> 00:04:37,068
Soph, I don't think either
of those guys are on Grindr.
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00:04:37,069 --> 00:04:39,278
No! No Grindr!
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00:04:39,279 --> 00:04:41,239
I'm DM-ing Jesse.
106
00:04:41,240 --> 00:04:42,532
Yeah. I think White Dove
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00:04:42,533 --> 00:04:44,742
is going to pop way more
than Moonlight White.
108
00:04:44,743 --> 00:04:47,703
Yeah. This will definitely be
what packs them into your bar.
109
00:04:47,704 --> 00:04:50,581
Everyone's going to be like, "Hey,
you got to check out Pemberton's.
110
00:04:50,582 --> 00:04:53,282
The upper walls are crisp AF!"
111
00:04:53,285 --> 00:04:57,213
All I want is some regulars coming
in and ordering the usual, you know?
112
00:04:57,214 --> 00:04:59,841
Like when I bought this place, I
really thought I could spruce it up,
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00:04:59,842 --> 00:05:02,093
make it the perfect
blend of classic New York
114
00:05:02,094 --> 00:05:03,135
and little titty!
115
00:05:03,136 --> 00:05:04,345
- What?
- Oh,
116
00:05:04,346 --> 00:05:07,473
Jasper taught me some cool new
slang the NYU kids are saying.
117
00:05:07,474 --> 00:05:10,308
Yeah, it's, uh, "litty titty," boss.
118
00:05:10,310 --> 00:05:13,770
God, he's cool!
119
00:05:13,772 --> 00:05:17,191
Oh. I just got a DM from
Sophie from last weekend.
120
00:05:17,192 --> 00:05:19,569
Ooh!
121
00:05:19,570 --> 00:05:22,780
- Sophie likes Jesse!
- Does not.
122
00:05:22,781 --> 00:05:25,491
She's asking if we all want
to go to some club tonight.
123
00:05:25,492 --> 00:05:28,369
I'll just tell her that we
always spend Saturdays here,
124
00:05:28,370 --> 00:05:30,871
- and that I hate clubs.
- Huh? Hey...
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00:05:30,873 --> 00:05:32,999
- What?
- What are you doing?
126
00:05:33,000 --> 00:05:34,709
A hot, cool woman just
asked you on a date.
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00:05:34,710 --> 00:05:37,044
You're really going to
respond with "I hate clubs"?
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00:05:37,045 --> 00:05:38,462
She didn't ask me on a date.
129
00:05:38,463 --> 00:05:40,256
She asked if we wanted to hang out.
130
00:05:40,257 --> 00:05:41,883
And just last week, I
drove her to the airport,
131
00:05:41,884 --> 00:05:44,127
so she could tell another
guy that she loved him.
132
00:05:44,130 --> 00:05:46,427
Yeah, that was last
week. And this is this week,
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00:05:46,430 --> 00:05:49,319
and, clearly, she's looking
for a hot rebound thang.
134
00:05:49,322 --> 00:05:51,475
Ellen, you're a woman.
Tell your brother what's up.
135
00:05:51,476 --> 00:05:54,306
I don't know if being
a woman qualifies me
136
00:05:54,309 --> 00:05:57,440
to decipher the DMs of
an erratic straight lady,
137
00:05:57,441 --> 00:05:59,275
but if I had to,
138
00:05:59,276 --> 00:06:01,278
yeah. She's simping.
139
00:06:02,321 --> 00:06:03,863
Jasper. Huh?
140
00:06:03,864 --> 00:06:04,865
Bet.
141
00:06:06,200 --> 00:06:07,158
You really think so?
142
00:06:07,159 --> 00:06:09,619
I do. And I'm not just saying that
143
00:06:09,620 --> 00:06:12,413
because I'm dying for my
first big New York night out.
144
00:06:12,414 --> 00:06:15,124
Come on, Jesse!
145
00:06:15,125 --> 00:06:17,710
I want to get dressed
up in a cool jumpsuit
146
00:06:17,711 --> 00:06:19,879
and pay too much for a cocktail,
147
00:06:19,880 --> 00:06:23,174
and then spill the overpriced
cocktail all over my cool jumpsuit
148
00:06:23,175 --> 00:06:26,344
because some club asshole
didn't look where he was going.
149
00:06:26,345 --> 00:06:27,720
Then be like, "Watch it!"
150
00:06:27,721 --> 00:06:30,014
But, he doesn't hear
me because I mumble,
151
00:06:30,015 --> 00:06:32,017
and the sick beats are too loud.
152
00:06:33,477 --> 00:06:36,521
Wow. That was a very specific,
153
00:06:36,522 --> 00:06:38,439
very realistic fantasy.
154
00:06:38,440 --> 00:06:40,651
And maybe, just maybe...
155
00:06:42,194 --> 00:06:45,654
I'd like to flirt with a cute
girl who isn't my ex-wife.
156
00:06:45,656 --> 00:06:47,573
Come on. Tell her yes.
157
00:06:47,574 --> 00:06:49,428
You got to get back out there sometime.
158
00:06:49,431 --> 00:06:51,784
Yeah, seriously, man. Ever
since Meredith dumped you,
159
00:06:51,787 --> 00:06:53,955
I've been spending 50
bucks a week on Kleenex.
160
00:06:53,956 --> 00:06:56,022
Wait, because you're crying
161
00:06:56,025 --> 00:06:57,834
or because you're going
to town on yourself?
162
00:06:57,835 --> 00:06:59,585
What? Ew! Crying!
163
00:06:59,586 --> 00:07:00,670
Bro...
164
00:07:00,671 --> 00:07:02,796
- Crying!
- Bro...
165
00:07:02,798 --> 00:07:04,506
Both.
166
00:07:07,302 --> 00:07:08,761
Ooh! So exciting.
167
00:07:08,762 --> 00:07:11,305
My first traditional
American friend setup.
168
00:07:11,306 --> 00:07:14,075
- Your what?
- I told him that was a thing. Be cool.
169
00:07:14,078 --> 00:07:16,310
Ooh! Almost forgot
to put my cufflinks in.
170
00:07:16,311 --> 00:07:18,604
Busted out the rubies
to impress the boys.
171
00:07:18,605 --> 00:07:21,859
Oh! Charlie, come here. Look at me.
172
00:07:22,943 --> 00:07:25,528
Sid and Jesse don't wear cufflinks.
173
00:07:25,529 --> 00:07:28,364
They're just two regular New York guys.
174
00:07:28,365 --> 00:07:30,241
And if you want them to like you,
175
00:07:30,242 --> 00:07:32,994
you're just going to have
to be a little more...
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00:07:32,995 --> 00:07:35,204
of the people. Okay?
177
00:07:35,205 --> 00:07:37,710
Of course. No problem.
178
00:07:37,713 --> 00:07:39,876
I totally know how to do that.
179
00:07:39,877 --> 00:07:40,878
Great.
180
00:07:42,045 --> 00:07:44,839
My cuffs are going to be
flapping all over the place.
181
00:07:44,840 --> 00:07:46,465
- Oh! Hey!
- Hey!
182
00:07:47,801 --> 00:07:48,885
Cool shirt.
183
00:07:48,886 --> 00:07:51,345
Oh, this old thing? Thanks.
184
00:07:51,346 --> 00:07:52,752
Alright!
185
00:07:52,755 --> 00:07:55,892
But just when I was ready for
a night of living in the moment...
186
00:07:58,478 --> 00:08:00,272
Son of a bitch.
187
00:08:04,234 --> 00:08:07,445
"My ship's deckhand
has strong Momoa vibes."
188
00:08:07,446 --> 00:08:09,238
Ian texted you that?
189
00:08:09,239 --> 00:08:11,364
- Son of a bitch!
- Right?
190
00:08:11,366 --> 00:08:14,452
Ian and I have this inside
joke where we sneak selfies
191
00:08:14,453 --> 00:08:16,204
and text them to each
other when we see someone
192
00:08:16,205 --> 00:08:17,955
who looks like Jason Momoa.
193
00:08:17,956 --> 00:08:20,749
There was Jason Mimosa,
194
00:08:20,751 --> 00:08:23,335
Jason Somosa,
195
00:08:23,337 --> 00:08:25,283
Jason with Boa.
196
00:08:25,286 --> 00:08:27,632
The last one was a stretch,
but I felt the pressure to text
197
00:08:27,633 --> 00:08:29,842
because he'd sent, like, three in a row.
198
00:08:29,843 --> 00:08:32,552
Yeah, I'm so glad I'm engaged.
199
00:08:32,554 --> 00:08:36,098
Ian should know that the moment
he rejected an LDR with Sophie,
200
00:08:36,099 --> 00:08:39,227
he lost inside joke texting
privileges. Sending this pic?
201
00:08:39,228 --> 00:08:42,230
Classic "have your
cake and eat it, too."
202
00:08:42,231 --> 00:08:43,941
I actually hate cake.
203
00:08:45,275 --> 00:08:47,360
Too hoity-toity.
204
00:08:47,361 --> 00:08:49,111
I'm more of a bread guy.
205
00:08:49,112 --> 00:08:51,322
Plain old bread that I rip up
206
00:08:51,323 --> 00:08:54,952
with my rough... calloused hands.
207
00:08:56,078 --> 00:08:59,120
Oh yeah. Yeah, b-bread's cool.
208
00:08:59,122 --> 00:09:00,665
This is so messed up.
209
00:09:00,666 --> 00:09:03,835
I refuse to spend another
second thinking about Ian.
210
00:09:05,909 --> 00:09:08,464
I'm just going to write back
something super witty and charming,
211
00:09:08,465 --> 00:09:10,341
just so he realizes what he's missing.
212
00:09:11,593 --> 00:09:13,148
Okay! Okay, fine.
213
00:09:13,151 --> 00:09:15,177
Next!
214
00:09:15,180 --> 00:09:18,099
No photos allowed inside of FOMO.
215
00:09:18,100 --> 00:09:20,484
Please put these
stickers on your cameras.
216
00:09:20,487 --> 00:09:22,101
I really don't think Sophie's into me.
217
00:09:22,104 --> 00:09:24,207
She's clearly still
hung up on that Ian guy.
218
00:09:24,210 --> 00:09:25,690
Nah, I don't think so.
219
00:09:25,691 --> 00:09:28,525
She just got a little
rattled by his text is all.
220
00:09:28,527 --> 00:09:31,070
Give me the best table you
got, okay? Tonight's a setup,
221
00:09:31,071 --> 00:09:34,990
and I'm gonna need it to be
as fun as humanly possible.
222
00:09:34,992 --> 00:09:38,660
This is a trial-size vitamin
C brightening serum.
223
00:09:38,662 --> 00:09:42,207
Take care of us, and mama's got
more where that came from, daddio.
224
00:09:43,250 --> 00:09:45,585
Did you hear that? Tonight's a setup.
225
00:09:45,586 --> 00:09:47,712
Valentina's trying to help her girl
226
00:09:47,713 --> 00:09:49,546
get with my boy.
227
00:09:49,548 --> 00:09:51,257
Sophie did say my shirt was cool.
228
00:09:51,258 --> 00:09:53,467
She compliments the
shirt to get into the pants.
229
00:09:53,468 --> 00:09:56,669
This is going to be the worst place ever.
230
00:09:56,672 --> 00:09:58,181
This is the best place ever!
231
00:09:58,182 --> 00:10:00,433
I wanted to hate the
nostalgic candy room.
232
00:10:00,434 --> 00:10:02,351
Mm-mmm! Look at me now!
233
00:10:05,105 --> 00:10:07,164
Is that girl making eyes at me,
234
00:10:07,167 --> 00:10:09,233
or is she trying to blink
something out of her eye?
235
00:10:09,234 --> 00:10:13,237
Woo-woo! To a night of
bonding with new friends!
236
00:10:13,238 --> 00:10:15,297
And being in the moment.
237
00:10:15,300 --> 00:10:18,366
Especially you guys,
the three musketeers.
238
00:10:18,368 --> 00:10:19,911
The three who?
239
00:10:19,912 --> 00:10:23,250
What is that, some sort of
fancy pants literary reference?
240
00:10:23,253 --> 00:10:24,790
I'm not much of a reader, you know.
241
00:10:24,791 --> 00:10:28,586
Just give me the big game and
a cold can of "puh-buh-ruh."
242
00:10:28,587 --> 00:10:30,714
What? What's "puh-buh-ruh"?
243
00:10:32,214 --> 00:10:34,089
Oh, it's that cheap beer
244
00:10:34,092 --> 00:10:36,886
that we regular men... love.
245
00:10:36,887 --> 00:10:38,138
Do you mean PBR?
246
00:10:39,681 --> 00:10:41,766
Is that how it's pronounced? As PBR?
247
00:10:41,767 --> 00:10:44,643
Oh, this is a disaster.
248
00:10:44,645 --> 00:10:46,687
We just locked eyes again.
249
00:10:46,688 --> 00:10:48,482
Okay, I'm going to go
ask to buy her a drink.
250
00:10:51,360 --> 00:10:52,652
Oh!
251
00:10:52,653 --> 00:10:53,904
I'm good!
252
00:11:04,540 --> 00:11:06,457
So this is pretty great, huh?
253
00:11:06,458 --> 00:11:08,459
If you told 8-year-old
me that I'd be at a club
254
00:11:08,460 --> 00:11:11,920
with a hula hoop room, I'd
have totally lost my shit.
255
00:11:11,922 --> 00:11:12,964
- Really?
- Yeah.
256
00:11:12,965 --> 00:11:14,799
No, I was really into
hula hooping growing up.
257
00:11:14,800 --> 00:11:17,601
My mom said I had the
loosest hips in Cincinnati.
258
00:11:17,604 --> 00:11:19,637
Which I'm now realizing
is a very disturbing thing
259
00:11:19,638 --> 00:11:21,223
to say to a young child.
260
00:11:22,933 --> 00:11:24,433
Um...
261
00:11:24,434 --> 00:11:27,520
Do-do you want to go to the,
uh, candle room for a drink?
262
00:11:27,521 --> 00:11:30,356
And that's when I
realized that there was
263
00:11:30,357 --> 00:11:32,900
a totally sweet, interested guy
264
00:11:32,901 --> 00:11:35,277
right in front of me.
265
00:11:35,279 --> 00:11:36,821
Yeah.
266
00:11:36,822 --> 00:11:38,656
Yeah. I do.
267
00:11:38,657 --> 00:11:41,201
Cool. Uh, okay, I'll get
drinks. I'll meet you there.
268
00:11:46,290 --> 00:11:49,292
But then, I spotted him, right there,
269
00:11:49,293 --> 00:11:50,877
in the middle of FOMO.
270
00:11:50,878 --> 00:11:53,005
The ultimate Momoa-lookalike.
271
00:11:54,339 --> 00:11:56,591
- FOMO
-Moa.
272
00:12:00,053 --> 00:12:02,013
Hey! H-how's it going
with Eye Contact Girl?
273
00:12:02,014 --> 00:12:04,224
Oh, I moved on to No Bra Bethany!
274
00:12:05,976 --> 00:12:07,227
She's really nice.
275
00:12:09,253 --> 00:12:10,813
It was like the universe
276
00:12:10,814 --> 00:12:14,140
was testing my willpower
to stay in the moment,
277
00:12:14,143 --> 00:12:16,569
and I was immediately failing that test.
278
00:12:16,570 --> 00:12:17,945
I had to get a picture.
279
00:12:17,946 --> 00:12:19,655
Hey!
280
00:12:19,656 --> 00:12:22,843
You're taking a picture of that Momoa for Ian.
281
00:12:22,846 --> 00:12:25,036
I wanna send him a stupid
text to make him laugh.
282
00:12:25,037 --> 00:12:26,662
So then, he'll write me
back and make me laugh.
283
00:12:26,663 --> 00:12:28,414
And if that's immature,
I just don't care!
284
00:12:28,417 --> 00:12:31,584
Well, if you get to text Ian,
then I get to break up with Charlie.
285
00:12:31,585 --> 00:12:33,836
Fine! I say, do it.
286
00:12:33,837 --> 00:12:36,297
Screw being mature.
Alright? We're young!
287
00:12:36,298 --> 00:12:38,591
We can still make bad
choices for a few more years.
288
00:12:38,592 --> 00:12:41,677
Yes! That's how we'll learn
the lessons we need to become
289
00:12:41,678 --> 00:12:44,514
super-wise dick-crushing
old people like Jane Fonda.
290
00:12:44,515 --> 00:12:46,515
Exactly!
291
00:12:46,517 --> 00:12:48,059
- Good talk.
- Yep. Love you.
292
00:12:48,060 --> 00:12:49,311
- Love you.
- Bye.
293
00:12:50,729 --> 00:12:51,855
Alright.
294
00:12:53,649 --> 00:12:55,649
I got ya.
295
00:12:55,651 --> 00:12:57,173
Hey!
296
00:12:57,176 --> 00:12:59,153
No photos at FOMO!
297
00:12:59,154 --> 00:13:02,198
Especially here at
FOMO Soho. At FOMO Noho,
298
00:13:02,199 --> 00:13:04,408
you want a photo? Sure! YOLO!
299
00:13:04,409 --> 00:13:08,080
But at Soho FOMO, photos
are no-no. You gotta go, yo!
300
00:13:14,086 --> 00:13:16,755
So, what's your favorite entry-level sedan?
301
00:13:17,881 --> 00:13:21,342
- Have you guys seen Sophie anywhere?
- Uh, no.
302
00:13:21,343 --> 00:13:24,595
Well, if this is a setup, it's
the worst setup I've ever been on.
303
00:13:24,596 --> 00:13:27,056
This is a setup between
Jesse and Sophie, too?
304
00:13:27,057 --> 00:13:28,975
Uh, what do you mean "too"?
305
00:13:28,976 --> 00:13:31,936
Well, Valentina's setting
the three of us up tonight,
306
00:13:31,937 --> 00:13:35,188
on a traditional American friends setup.
307
00:13:35,190 --> 00:13:36,399
Charlie!
308
00:13:36,400 --> 00:13:39,193
- We need to talk.
- Hey, uh, quick Q.
309
00:13:39,194 --> 00:13:42,446
Is tonight a setup between
Charlie and us or Jesse and Sophie?
310
00:13:42,447 --> 00:13:44,699
Charlie and you guys.
Sophie isn't ready for a setup.
311
00:13:44,700 --> 00:13:46,357
She's still totally obsessed with Ian.
312
00:13:46,360 --> 00:13:48,869
Oh no.
313
00:13:48,871 --> 00:13:50,997
Did you think tonight
was about you and Sophie?
314
00:13:50,998 --> 00:13:54,291
You know, I really,
really didn't, but...
315
00:13:54,293 --> 00:13:56,478
someone convinced me it was.
316
00:13:57,754 --> 00:13:59,130
I'm sorry, man.
317
00:13:59,131 --> 00:14:01,174
Let's just go back to my bar, okay?
318
00:14:01,175 --> 00:14:03,677
With its lackluster
drinks and zero activities.
319
00:14:04,446 --> 00:14:06,179
Hey! Maybe Jasper will hang out with us.
320
00:14:09,224 --> 00:14:10,726
Your sister's got game.
321
00:14:12,519 --> 00:14:14,352
Be honest with me.
322
00:14:14,354 --> 00:14:17,731
Is a traditional American
friend setup even a thing?
323
00:14:17,733 --> 00:14:19,540
No, it's not.
324
00:14:19,543 --> 00:14:22,111
I thought maybe if you had
your own crew to hang out with,
325
00:14:22,112 --> 00:14:24,696
I would feel less smothered.
326
00:14:24,698 --> 00:14:26,823
You feel smothered?
327
00:14:26,825 --> 00:14:29,160
But I'm always the little spoon.
328
00:14:29,161 --> 00:14:32,246
You're great, Charlie,
but you're just...
329
00:14:32,247 --> 00:14:34,665
always there, and it-it's
just too much for me.
330
00:14:34,666 --> 00:14:36,667
I think we should go our separate ways.
331
00:14:36,668 --> 00:14:39,003
Well, why didn't you just
tell me that you needed space?
332
00:14:39,004 --> 00:14:41,838
That's why you sent me to
Jersey for the bagels. Okay.
333
00:14:41,840 --> 00:14:42,840
Wow.
334
00:14:42,841 --> 00:14:45,218
If this is how you deal with
the tiniest little wrinkle,
335
00:14:45,219 --> 00:14:47,135
then I agree.
336
00:14:47,137 --> 00:14:48,388
We should end things.
337
00:14:54,520 --> 00:14:58,355
Can't believe I lucky charmed
you twice this morning.
338
00:14:58,357 --> 00:15:02,194
I crunched your captain
twice, too! It was an even trade!
339
00:15:03,987 --> 00:15:05,530
♪ Tell me... ♪
340
00:15:05,531 --> 00:15:08,908
♪ Did you sail across the sun? ♪
341
00:15:08,909 --> 00:15:11,786
♪ Did you make it to the Milky Way ♪
342
00:15:11,787 --> 00:15:14,872
♪ To see the lights all faded ♪
343
00:15:14,873 --> 00:15:18,042
♪ And that Heaven is overrated ♪
344
00:15:20,295 --> 00:15:23,298
- I got kicked out of FOMO.
- I broke up with Charlie.
345
00:15:24,383 --> 00:15:25,591
How did he take it?
346
00:15:25,592 --> 00:15:28,512
He said I should have just
told him I needed some space.
347
00:15:29,680 --> 00:15:31,848
Funny. I never thought of that.
348
00:15:31,849 --> 00:15:34,141
I thought of it. I
just didn't wanna do it
349
00:15:34,142 --> 00:15:37,019
'cause if you tell a guy
what you need, and he does it,
350
00:15:37,020 --> 00:15:40,313
then when he tells you what
he needs, you have to do it.
351
00:15:40,315 --> 00:15:43,651
And I don't want to do that. I
only want to do exactly what I want
352
00:15:43,652 --> 00:15:45,904
when I want, how I want.
353
00:15:46,989 --> 00:15:49,781
And now, you can.
354
00:15:49,783 --> 00:15:52,201
Did Ian like your Momoa pic?
355
00:15:52,202 --> 00:15:54,161
I haven't sent it.
356
00:15:54,162 --> 00:15:57,622
- I can't decide if I'm going to.
- Mm.
357
00:15:57,624 --> 00:15:59,125
You know,
358
00:15:59,126 --> 00:16:02,003
Jesse thought you invited everyone
out tonight because you were into him.
359
00:16:02,004 --> 00:16:05,213
Oh my god, I left him waiting
for me in the candle room!
360
00:16:05,215 --> 00:16:06,966
And his shirt looked very flammable.
361
00:16:06,967 --> 00:16:08,384
Don't worry, he got out.
362
00:16:08,385 --> 00:16:11,303
All the guys left.
363
00:16:11,305 --> 00:16:13,723
Looks like you two
are having a good night.
364
00:16:13,724 --> 00:16:15,349
Who hurt you!?
365
00:16:20,731 --> 00:16:23,065
- Gin martini with a twist.
- Thanks.
366
00:16:25,527 --> 00:16:27,111
Mm.
367
00:16:27,112 --> 00:16:29,405
And thanks for giving me another chance.
368
00:16:29,406 --> 00:16:30,615
Mates.
369
00:16:30,616 --> 00:16:32,950
I swear when I'm allowed
to be my normal fancy self,
370
00:16:32,951 --> 00:16:34,536
I'm an absolute bloody delight.
371
00:16:35,871 --> 00:16:37,998
Those cufflinks are gorgeous.
372
00:16:41,793 --> 00:16:43,128
Thank you.
373
00:16:44,713 --> 00:16:48,131
By the way, I noticed how
crisp your upper walls look.
374
00:16:48,133 --> 00:16:50,342
Is it White Dove?
375
00:16:50,344 --> 00:16:54,262
Yeah. Yeah, it is.
376
00:16:54,264 --> 00:16:55,681
Hey.
377
00:16:55,682 --> 00:16:57,100
Come here, we need to talk.
378
00:17:01,897 --> 00:17:03,189
Ooh...
379
00:17:03,190 --> 00:17:05,650
Here. It's from Essa Bagel.
380
00:17:05,651 --> 00:17:07,276
Best bagels in the city.
381
00:17:07,277 --> 00:17:09,530
It's where I should have
sent you instead of Jersey.
382
00:17:10,531 --> 00:17:12,699
Well, I mean, how different can they be?
383
00:17:14,858 --> 00:17:16,805
Oh my god, those Jersey bagels are
384
00:17:16,808 --> 00:17:18,986
just little shit circles, aren't they?
385
00:17:18,989 --> 00:17:20,467
You were right.
386
00:17:20,470 --> 00:17:22,583
I should have just told you
that I needed some space.
387
00:17:22,584 --> 00:17:24,878
I'm... really sorry.
388
00:17:27,965 --> 00:17:29,800
This isn't going to work.
389
00:17:30,968 --> 00:17:32,343
Oh.
390
00:17:32,344 --> 00:17:34,972
You know, living together,
it's... it's too much.
391
00:17:36,181 --> 00:17:38,682
So, I am going to move out.
392
00:17:38,684 --> 00:17:40,725
Oh.
393
00:17:40,727 --> 00:17:44,022
Then, I would like to
take you on a first date.
394
00:17:45,566 --> 00:17:46,858
Oh?
395
00:17:46,859 --> 00:17:49,068
We never really had one of those.
396
00:17:49,069 --> 00:17:52,153
We do need to take a step back and...
397
00:17:52,155 --> 00:17:54,531
start at the beginning.
398
00:17:54,533 --> 00:17:55,826
I'd love that.
399
00:17:57,874 --> 00:17:59,662
So, seeing as how
we're easing into things,
400
00:17:59,663 --> 00:18:01,888
we probably shouldn't go and
have sex in the storage closet.
401
00:18:01,890 --> 00:18:03,750
Bring the bagel.
402
00:18:08,547 --> 00:18:11,175
Hey! How you guys doing? Don't care!
403
00:18:12,176 --> 00:18:15,678
I just had the best night of my life!
404
00:18:15,679 --> 00:18:17,513
Somebody get lucky at Club FOMO?
405
00:18:17,514 --> 00:18:19,431
No!
406
00:18:19,433 --> 00:18:22,144
- I was rejected constantly.
- Hi! I'm Ellen...
407
00:18:23,312 --> 00:18:26,022
I got way too drunk way too fast,
408
00:18:26,023 --> 00:18:28,941
and struck out many, many times.
409
00:18:28,942 --> 00:18:30,652
Cheers.
410
00:18:32,988 --> 00:18:34,488
So, why are you so happy?
411
00:18:34,489 --> 00:18:37,825
Because even though five... No, wait.
412
00:18:37,826 --> 00:18:39,452
Six!
413
00:18:39,453 --> 00:18:42,121
Six women didn't want
to give me their numbers,
414
00:18:42,122 --> 00:18:45,291
there are so many more
out there waiting for me.
415
00:18:45,292 --> 00:18:48,085
New York rules! SID: Woo!
416
00:18:48,086 --> 00:18:49,546
I'll drink to that!
417
00:18:50,714 --> 00:18:53,049
Just play, damn it.
418
00:18:53,050 --> 00:18:55,301
Really need this right now.
419
00:18:55,302 --> 00:18:57,636
Why does everything
in the world hate me?
420
00:18:57,638 --> 00:18:58,638
- Hey.
- Hey.
421
00:18:58,639 --> 00:18:59,972
Hey!
422
00:18:59,973 --> 00:19:02,099
Just... playing a song.
423
00:19:02,100 --> 00:19:04,478
No big thang.
424
00:19:07,314 --> 00:19:09,565
I hope this doesn't make
you feel too uncomfortable,
425
00:19:09,566 --> 00:19:12,609
but I know that you
thought tonight was a setup.
426
00:19:12,611 --> 00:19:16,031
I'm extremely uncomfortable, but go ahead.
427
00:19:17,157 --> 00:19:19,742
I'm sorry for the misunderstanding.
428
00:19:19,743 --> 00:19:22,078
And for standing you up
in the candle room earlier.
429
00:19:22,079 --> 00:19:25,540
It's fine. I mean, it stung for
a sec, but nothing a quick spin
430
00:19:25,541 --> 00:19:28,460
in the old hula hoop room couldn't fix.
431
00:19:33,006 --> 00:19:34,424
Jesse...
432
00:19:35,676 --> 00:19:38,051
I'm a mess right now.
433
00:19:38,053 --> 00:19:40,556
And I know that you've been
through a lot with your ex,
434
00:19:41,682 --> 00:19:44,350
and that dating in the
city can make you feel...
435
00:19:44,351 --> 00:19:47,019
hopeless and alone and like
you will never find someone
436
00:19:47,020 --> 00:19:50,147
who realizes how amazing you are.
437
00:19:50,148 --> 00:19:52,196
And... I don't want to be one of those
438
00:19:52,199 --> 00:19:53,978
people who make you feel like that.
439
00:19:55,457 --> 00:19:57,197
Because I actually can see it.
440
00:20:00,532 --> 00:20:02,285
I'm a mess, too.
441
00:20:02,288 --> 00:20:04,245
I mean, it literally
took all of my energy
442
00:20:04,246 --> 00:20:06,727
just to put this stupid shirt
on and leave the house tonight,
443
00:20:06,730 --> 00:20:08,624
and being in that...
444
00:20:08,625 --> 00:20:11,377
horrible club just made
me miss staying home
445
00:20:11,378 --> 00:20:13,087
and watching Love Island with Meredith.
446
00:20:13,088 --> 00:20:15,298
Even though Meredith
is a terrible person
447
00:20:15,299 --> 00:20:16,966
who publicly rejected my proposal
448
00:20:16,967 --> 00:20:18,634
and took my cat in our breakup.
449
00:20:18,635 --> 00:20:20,553
Oh! She got the cat?
450
00:20:20,554 --> 00:20:22,722
No, not the cat. My cat.
451
00:20:22,723 --> 00:20:25,183
My 11-year-old cat that
I rescued from a shelter,
452
00:20:25,184 --> 00:20:28,187
and named Girl so that I
could call her Jesse's Girl.
453
00:20:29,396 --> 00:20:30,772
Oh my god...
454
00:20:33,358 --> 00:20:35,569
And now you wish that
you had Jesse's Girl.
455
00:20:37,070 --> 00:20:39,573
Like I said, I'm a mess, too.
456
00:20:41,200 --> 00:20:43,743
Well, maybe we could
be friends that are messes
457
00:20:43,744 --> 00:20:45,828
instead of two messes who try to date
458
00:20:45,829 --> 00:20:49,374
because that would just
inevitably be... a mess.
459
00:20:50,709 --> 00:20:53,420
Yeah, that sounds
like a really good plan.
460
00:20:55,339 --> 00:20:57,799
Oh! Hello, everyone.
461
00:21:01,929 --> 00:21:03,596
Why are you covered in poppy seeds?
462
00:21:03,597 --> 00:21:04,973
Don't worry about it.
463
00:21:06,433 --> 00:21:09,143
I'll have another drink,
please. Just the usual.
464
00:21:09,144 --> 00:21:11,480
Gin martini with a
twist coming right up.
465
00:21:13,690 --> 00:21:15,983
He has a usual! Jasper.
466
00:21:15,984 --> 00:21:18,402
Jasper... He has a usual.
467
00:21:18,403 --> 00:21:20,196
Yo, that's fire, man.
468
00:21:20,197 --> 00:21:23,031
Yo, I need, uh, next Saturday off.
469
00:21:23,033 --> 00:21:25,023
Um, also, right now, I'm leaving early.
470
00:21:25,026 --> 00:21:27,828
Hey, buh-buh-buh! You got
it, buddy. Get out of here.
471
00:21:29,998 --> 00:21:31,457
- Is this...
- Yes.
472
00:21:31,458 --> 00:21:34,377
Drops of Jupiter. I-I
know it's kind of cheesy,
473
00:21:34,378 --> 00:21:37,380
but it's just... sort
of my comfort song.
474
00:21:37,381 --> 00:21:41,051
♪ With drops of Jupiter in her hair ♪
475
00:21:42,886 --> 00:21:45,972
It was hard to live in the moment in 2022.
476
00:21:45,973 --> 00:21:49,058
There was always someplace
else you could be,
477
00:21:49,059 --> 00:21:50,810
someone else you could be with.
478
00:21:50,811 --> 00:21:52,979
But every once in a while,
479
00:21:52,980 --> 00:21:55,649
you found yourself in
the exact right spot.
480
00:21:56,817 --> 00:21:59,694
And you had that rarest of moments
481
00:21:59,695 --> 00:22:03,573
where you had absolutely no FOMO,
482
00:22:03,574 --> 00:22:07,159
and you could just... be.
483
00:22:35,814 --> 00:22:42,124
- Synced and corrected by VitoSilans -
-- www.Addic7ed.com --
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