All language subtitles for How I Met Your Father - 01x02 - FOMO.HULU.WEBRip-NOSiViD.English.C.orig.Addic7ed.com

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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:12,390 --> 00:00:15,429 - Synced and corrected by VitoSilans - -- www.Addic7ed.com -- 2 00:00:15,432 --> 00:00:17,141 Okay, so you walked Brooklyn Bridge, 3 00:00:17,142 --> 00:00:19,185 and that was the night you met Dad. 4 00:00:19,186 --> 00:00:22,062 And then how long until you guys got together? 5 00:00:22,064 --> 00:00:25,691 This story is about the journey, not the destination. 6 00:00:25,692 --> 00:00:27,860 I'm going to get with a whole bunch of dudes 7 00:00:27,861 --> 00:00:29,446 before I wind up with Dad. 8 00:00:30,447 --> 00:00:33,658 You know, I'm okay with skipping to the destination. 9 00:00:33,659 --> 00:00:37,077 I'm going to need you to live in the moment here. 10 00:00:37,079 --> 00:00:39,372 Which, back in the day, I was terrible at. 11 00:00:40,707 --> 00:00:43,918 After my super triumphant Brooklyn Bridge Walk, 12 00:00:43,919 --> 00:00:46,003 I backslid. 13 00:00:46,004 --> 00:00:49,715 Instead of living in the moment, I decided to live in my phone. 14 00:00:49,716 --> 00:00:51,759 - Morning! - Can you knock? 15 00:00:51,760 --> 00:00:54,554 Nope! Were you looking at your old texts with Ian? 16 00:00:54,555 --> 00:00:55,763 No. 17 00:00:55,764 --> 00:00:57,796 I was looking at porn. 18 00:00:57,799 --> 00:00:59,642 Liar! You're scared of porn. 19 00:00:59,643 --> 00:01:01,602 I'm not scared of porn. 20 00:01:01,603 --> 00:01:04,564 I'm scared of the government tracking my search history. 21 00:01:04,565 --> 00:01:06,858 Stop wallowing. Put these on. 22 00:01:06,859 --> 00:01:08,901 It's Fonda time! 23 00:01:08,902 --> 00:01:11,695 Up! 24 00:01:11,697 --> 00:01:13,990 - So, what are we thinking for tonight? - Uh, 25 00:01:13,991 --> 00:01:16,826 probably just going to stay in and organize my darkroom closet. 26 00:01:16,827 --> 00:01:19,328 You mean look at pictures of Ian 27 00:01:19,329 --> 00:01:21,122 while listening to Drops of Jupiter on loop 28 00:01:21,123 --> 00:01:23,944 like you do every time things don't work out with a guy? 29 00:01:23,947 --> 00:01:25,418 ♪ Tell me... ♪ 30 00:01:25,419 --> 00:01:28,713 ♪ Did the wind sweep you off your feet? Did you... ♪ 31 00:01:28,714 --> 00:01:32,054 It's my comfort song. It works for everything. 32 00:01:32,057 --> 00:01:34,468 You remember when the dry cleaner shrunk my favorite sweater? 33 00:01:34,469 --> 00:01:37,722 ♪ Tell me, did the wind sweep you off your feet? ♪ 34 00:01:37,723 --> 00:01:40,530 You think Queen Jane stays in on a Saturday night? No! 35 00:01:40,533 --> 00:01:42,894 She's out on the town, crushing dick. 36 00:01:42,895 --> 00:01:46,629 Alright. I wish you'd stop saying "crushing dick" 37 00:01:46,632 --> 00:01:49,150 about feminist icons, but you're right. 38 00:01:50,861 --> 00:01:53,696 Good! 39 00:01:53,697 --> 00:01:57,574 ' Cause I got us into FOMO tonight. 40 00:01:57,576 --> 00:01:58,811 What's FOMO? 41 00:01:58,814 --> 00:02:00,703 It stands for "fear of missing out." 42 00:02:00,704 --> 00:02:02,955 Yeah, I know what it stands for. Thanks. 43 00:02:02,956 --> 00:02:04,248 How do we go to it? 44 00:02:04,249 --> 00:02:06,000 Oh. 45 00:02:06,001 --> 00:02:08,002 FOMO is the name of this new club, 46 00:02:08,003 --> 00:02:10,160 which is a total sensory overload. 47 00:02:10,163 --> 00:02:12,507 There are a million different rooms. 48 00:02:12,508 --> 00:02:14,800 A rave room, a foam party room, 49 00:02:14,801 --> 00:02:16,844 a topless room, a tapas room, 50 00:02:16,845 --> 00:02:19,055 a topless tapas room. 51 00:02:19,056 --> 00:02:22,934 They say there's no such thing as having FOMO inside of FOMO. 52 00:02:22,935 --> 00:02:25,353 This will be perfect for you. Plus, 53 00:02:25,354 --> 00:02:27,855 I'm going to need a big night out after I end things with Charlie. 54 00:02:27,856 --> 00:02:30,483 Wait, you're ending things with Charlie? 55 00:02:30,484 --> 00:02:32,944 I gotta. He's smothering me. 56 00:02:35,864 --> 00:02:37,240 Morning, Valentina! 57 00:02:37,241 --> 00:02:41,077 I got us coffees from a real New York bod-ega 58 00:02:41,078 --> 00:02:43,287 and this chicken for dinner. I opened the package, 59 00:02:43,288 --> 00:02:46,082 but I have no idea what happens next. 60 00:02:46,083 --> 00:02:47,917 This morning, 61 00:02:47,918 --> 00:02:49,460 I told him the best New York bagels 62 00:02:49,461 --> 00:02:53,505 are in Jersey just to have a little time to myself. 63 00:02:53,507 --> 00:02:55,550 Anyway, I already drafted up a text. 64 00:02:55,551 --> 00:02:57,802 You cannot text break up with Charlie. 65 00:02:57,803 --> 00:03:00,221 You are crazy into the guy. You just told me yesterday 66 00:03:00,222 --> 00:03:01,347 you were obsessed with him. 67 00:03:01,348 --> 00:03:03,307 I did not. 68 00:03:03,308 --> 00:03:05,394 I'm obsessed with him! 69 00:03:07,062 --> 00:03:10,297 Fine, I'm conflicted, okay? 70 00:03:10,300 --> 00:03:11,982 I mean, 71 00:03:11,984 --> 00:03:14,026 he is fun... 72 00:03:14,027 --> 00:03:15,278 and sweet 73 00:03:15,279 --> 00:03:17,154 and hot. 74 00:03:17,155 --> 00:03:19,407 Plus, he does this thing in bed with his tongue 75 00:03:19,408 --> 00:03:22,201 where he folds it into a cloverleaf. 76 00:03:22,202 --> 00:03:23,953 We call it lucky charming. 77 00:03:23,954 --> 00:03:26,414 Uh, breakfast! 78 00:03:26,415 --> 00:03:29,250 - Most important meal of the day! - Girl... 79 00:03:29,251 --> 00:03:31,460 But he's always around. 80 00:03:31,461 --> 00:03:33,796 Valentina. Of course you think he's smothering you 81 00:03:33,797 --> 00:03:35,965 because you're the only person he knows 82 00:03:35,966 --> 00:03:37,758 in the entire city. 83 00:03:37,759 --> 00:03:39,635 You just have to help him make some friends. 84 00:03:39,636 --> 00:03:41,804 Ew. Sounds hard. 85 00:03:41,805 --> 00:03:44,599 Yeah, well, if I have to be mature and stop dwelling on Ian, 86 00:03:44,600 --> 00:03:46,142 then you need to be mature 87 00:03:46,143 --> 00:03:48,686 and try a little harder with Charlie. 88 00:03:50,439 --> 00:03:51,814 Fine! 89 00:03:51,815 --> 00:03:53,104 Wow. 90 00:03:53,107 --> 00:03:54,983 I can totally feel us growing right now. 91 00:03:54,985 --> 00:03:56,861 I think I finally even made good coffee. 92 00:04:02,784 --> 00:04:05,287 Mm-hmm! 93 00:04:06,330 --> 00:04:09,873 So, how do I make Charlie friends? 94 00:04:09,875 --> 00:04:11,876 Oh! I've got it. 95 00:04:11,877 --> 00:04:14,754 Step one, I make him a Grindr account. 96 00:04:14,755 --> 00:04:16,297 Step two, the guy shows up. 97 00:04:16,298 --> 00:04:18,299 Step three, I lock the door... 98 00:04:18,300 --> 00:04:21,385 Or we could invite those guys we hung out with last weekend 99 00:04:21,386 --> 00:04:24,263 to come out with us. I feel like Charlie really hit it off with them 100 00:04:24,264 --> 00:04:25,806 playing Drunk Face Jenga. 101 00:04:25,807 --> 00:04:28,017 You have to have this. You have this. 102 00:04:30,479 --> 00:04:33,189 Oh my god! This is the best night of my life! 103 00:04:34,441 --> 00:04:37,068 Soph, I don't think either of those guys are on Grindr. 104 00:04:37,069 --> 00:04:39,278 No! No Grindr! 105 00:04:39,279 --> 00:04:41,239 I'm DM-ing Jesse. 106 00:04:41,240 --> 00:04:42,532 Yeah. I think White Dove 107 00:04:42,533 --> 00:04:44,742 is going to pop way more than Moonlight White. 108 00:04:44,743 --> 00:04:47,703 Yeah. This will definitely be what packs them into your bar. 109 00:04:47,704 --> 00:04:50,581 Everyone's going to be like, "Hey, you got to check out Pemberton's. 110 00:04:50,582 --> 00:04:53,282 The upper walls are crisp AF!" 111 00:04:53,285 --> 00:04:57,213 All I want is some regulars coming in and ordering the usual, you know? 112 00:04:57,214 --> 00:04:59,841 Like when I bought this place, I really thought I could spruce it up, 113 00:04:59,842 --> 00:05:02,093 make it the perfect blend of classic New York 114 00:05:02,094 --> 00:05:03,135 and little titty! 115 00:05:03,136 --> 00:05:04,345 - What? - Oh, 116 00:05:04,346 --> 00:05:07,473 Jasper taught me some cool new slang the NYU kids are saying. 117 00:05:07,474 --> 00:05:10,308 Yeah, it's, uh, "litty titty," boss. 118 00:05:10,310 --> 00:05:13,770 God, he's cool! 119 00:05:13,772 --> 00:05:17,191 Oh. I just got a DM from Sophie from last weekend. 120 00:05:17,192 --> 00:05:19,569 Ooh! 121 00:05:19,570 --> 00:05:22,780 - Sophie likes Jesse! - Does not. 122 00:05:22,781 --> 00:05:25,491 She's asking if we all want to go to some club tonight. 123 00:05:25,492 --> 00:05:28,369 I'll just tell her that we always spend Saturdays here, 124 00:05:28,370 --> 00:05:30,871 - and that I hate clubs. - Huh? Hey... 125 00:05:30,873 --> 00:05:32,999 - What? - What are you doing? 126 00:05:33,000 --> 00:05:34,709 A hot, cool woman just asked you on a date. 127 00:05:34,710 --> 00:05:37,044 You're really going to respond with "I hate clubs"? 128 00:05:37,045 --> 00:05:38,462 She didn't ask me on a date. 129 00:05:38,463 --> 00:05:40,256 She asked if we wanted to hang out. 130 00:05:40,257 --> 00:05:41,883 And just last week, I drove her to the airport, 131 00:05:41,884 --> 00:05:44,127 so she could tell another guy that she loved him. 132 00:05:44,130 --> 00:05:46,427 Yeah, that was last week. And this is this week, 133 00:05:46,430 --> 00:05:49,319 and, clearly, she's looking for a hot rebound thang. 134 00:05:49,322 --> 00:05:51,475 Ellen, you're a woman. Tell your brother what's up. 135 00:05:51,476 --> 00:05:54,306 I don't know if being a woman qualifies me 136 00:05:54,309 --> 00:05:57,440 to decipher the DMs of an erratic straight lady, 137 00:05:57,441 --> 00:05:59,275 but if I had to, 138 00:05:59,276 --> 00:06:01,278 yeah. She's simping. 139 00:06:02,321 --> 00:06:03,863 Jasper. Huh? 140 00:06:03,864 --> 00:06:04,865 Bet. 141 00:06:06,200 --> 00:06:07,158 You really think so? 142 00:06:07,159 --> 00:06:09,619 I do. And I'm not just saying that 143 00:06:09,620 --> 00:06:12,413 because I'm dying for my first big New York night out. 144 00:06:12,414 --> 00:06:15,124 Come on, Jesse! 145 00:06:15,125 --> 00:06:17,710 I want to get dressed up in a cool jumpsuit 146 00:06:17,711 --> 00:06:19,879 and pay too much for a cocktail, 147 00:06:19,880 --> 00:06:23,174 and then spill the overpriced cocktail all over my cool jumpsuit 148 00:06:23,175 --> 00:06:26,344 because some club asshole didn't look where he was going. 149 00:06:26,345 --> 00:06:27,720 Then be like, "Watch it!" 150 00:06:27,721 --> 00:06:30,014 But, he doesn't hear me because I mumble, 151 00:06:30,015 --> 00:06:32,017 and the sick beats are too loud. 152 00:06:33,477 --> 00:06:36,521 Wow. That was a very specific, 153 00:06:36,522 --> 00:06:38,439 very realistic fantasy. 154 00:06:38,440 --> 00:06:40,651 And maybe, just maybe... 155 00:06:42,194 --> 00:06:45,654 I'd like to flirt with a cute girl who isn't my ex-wife. 156 00:06:45,656 --> 00:06:47,573 Come on. Tell her yes. 157 00:06:47,574 --> 00:06:49,428 You got to get back out there sometime. 158 00:06:49,431 --> 00:06:51,784 Yeah, seriously, man. Ever since Meredith dumped you, 159 00:06:51,787 --> 00:06:53,955 I've been spending 50 bucks a week on Kleenex. 160 00:06:53,956 --> 00:06:56,022 Wait, because you're crying 161 00:06:56,025 --> 00:06:57,834 or because you're going to town on yourself? 162 00:06:57,835 --> 00:06:59,585 What? Ew! Crying! 163 00:06:59,586 --> 00:07:00,670 Bro... 164 00:07:00,671 --> 00:07:02,796 - Crying! - Bro... 165 00:07:02,798 --> 00:07:04,506 Both. 166 00:07:07,302 --> 00:07:08,761 Ooh! So exciting. 167 00:07:08,762 --> 00:07:11,305 My first traditional American friend setup. 168 00:07:11,306 --> 00:07:14,075 - Your what? - I told him that was a thing. Be cool. 169 00:07:14,078 --> 00:07:16,310 Ooh! Almost forgot to put my cufflinks in. 170 00:07:16,311 --> 00:07:18,604 Busted out the rubies to impress the boys. 171 00:07:18,605 --> 00:07:21,859 Oh! Charlie, come here. Look at me. 172 00:07:22,943 --> 00:07:25,528 Sid and Jesse don't wear cufflinks. 173 00:07:25,529 --> 00:07:28,364 They're just two regular New York guys. 174 00:07:28,365 --> 00:07:30,241 And if you want them to like you, 175 00:07:30,242 --> 00:07:32,994 you're just going to have to be a little more... 176 00:07:32,995 --> 00:07:35,204 of the people. Okay? 177 00:07:35,205 --> 00:07:37,710 Of course. No problem. 178 00:07:37,713 --> 00:07:39,876 I totally know how to do that. 179 00:07:39,877 --> 00:07:40,878 Great. 180 00:07:42,045 --> 00:07:44,839 My cuffs are going to be flapping all over the place. 181 00:07:44,840 --> 00:07:46,465 - Oh! Hey! - Hey! 182 00:07:47,801 --> 00:07:48,885 Cool shirt. 183 00:07:48,886 --> 00:07:51,345 Oh, this old thing? Thanks. 184 00:07:51,346 --> 00:07:52,752 Alright! 185 00:07:52,755 --> 00:07:55,892 But just when I was ready for a night of living in the moment... 186 00:07:58,478 --> 00:08:00,272 Son of a bitch. 187 00:08:04,234 --> 00:08:07,445 "My ship's deckhand has strong Momoa vibes." 188 00:08:07,446 --> 00:08:09,238 Ian texted you that? 189 00:08:09,239 --> 00:08:11,364 - Son of a bitch! - Right? 190 00:08:11,366 --> 00:08:14,452 Ian and I have this inside joke where we sneak selfies 191 00:08:14,453 --> 00:08:16,204 and text them to each other when we see someone 192 00:08:16,205 --> 00:08:17,955 who looks like Jason Momoa. 193 00:08:17,956 --> 00:08:20,749 There was Jason Mimosa, 194 00:08:20,751 --> 00:08:23,335 Jason Somosa, 195 00:08:23,337 --> 00:08:25,283 Jason with Boa. 196 00:08:25,286 --> 00:08:27,632 The last one was a stretch, but I felt the pressure to text 197 00:08:27,633 --> 00:08:29,842 because he'd sent, like, three in a row. 198 00:08:29,843 --> 00:08:32,552 Yeah, I'm so glad I'm engaged. 199 00:08:32,554 --> 00:08:36,098 Ian should know that the moment he rejected an LDR with Sophie, 200 00:08:36,099 --> 00:08:39,227 he lost inside joke texting privileges. Sending this pic? 201 00:08:39,228 --> 00:08:42,230 Classic "have your cake and eat it, too." 202 00:08:42,231 --> 00:08:43,941 I actually hate cake. 203 00:08:45,275 --> 00:08:47,360 Too hoity-toity. 204 00:08:47,361 --> 00:08:49,111 I'm more of a bread guy. 205 00:08:49,112 --> 00:08:51,322 Plain old bread that I rip up 206 00:08:51,323 --> 00:08:54,952 with my rough... calloused hands. 207 00:08:56,078 --> 00:08:59,120 Oh yeah. Yeah, b-bread's cool. 208 00:08:59,122 --> 00:09:00,665 This is so messed up. 209 00:09:00,666 --> 00:09:03,835 I refuse to spend another second thinking about Ian. 210 00:09:05,909 --> 00:09:08,464 I'm just going to write back something super witty and charming, 211 00:09:08,465 --> 00:09:10,341 just so he realizes what he's missing. 212 00:09:11,593 --> 00:09:13,148 Okay! Okay, fine. 213 00:09:13,151 --> 00:09:15,177 Next! 214 00:09:15,180 --> 00:09:18,099 No photos allowed inside of FOMO. 215 00:09:18,100 --> 00:09:20,484 Please put these stickers on your cameras. 216 00:09:20,487 --> 00:09:22,101 I really don't think Sophie's into me. 217 00:09:22,104 --> 00:09:24,207 She's clearly still hung up on that Ian guy. 218 00:09:24,210 --> 00:09:25,690 Nah, I don't think so. 219 00:09:25,691 --> 00:09:28,525 She just got a little rattled by his text is all. 220 00:09:28,527 --> 00:09:31,070 Give me the best table you got, okay? Tonight's a setup, 221 00:09:31,071 --> 00:09:34,990 and I'm gonna need it to be as fun as humanly possible. 222 00:09:34,992 --> 00:09:38,660 This is a trial-size vitamin C brightening serum. 223 00:09:38,662 --> 00:09:42,207 Take care of us, and mama's got more where that came from, daddio. 224 00:09:43,250 --> 00:09:45,585 Did you hear that? Tonight's a setup. 225 00:09:45,586 --> 00:09:47,712 Valentina's trying to help her girl 226 00:09:47,713 --> 00:09:49,546 get with my boy. 227 00:09:49,548 --> 00:09:51,257 Sophie did say my shirt was cool. 228 00:09:51,258 --> 00:09:53,467 She compliments the shirt to get into the pants. 229 00:09:53,468 --> 00:09:56,669 This is going to be the worst place ever. 230 00:09:56,672 --> 00:09:58,181 This is the best place ever! 231 00:09:58,182 --> 00:10:00,433 I wanted to hate the nostalgic candy room. 232 00:10:00,434 --> 00:10:02,351 Mm-mmm! Look at me now! 233 00:10:05,105 --> 00:10:07,164 Is that girl making eyes at me, 234 00:10:07,167 --> 00:10:09,233 or is she trying to blink something out of her eye? 235 00:10:09,234 --> 00:10:13,237 Woo-woo! To a night of bonding with new friends! 236 00:10:13,238 --> 00:10:15,297 And being in the moment. 237 00:10:15,300 --> 00:10:18,366 Especially you guys, the three musketeers. 238 00:10:18,368 --> 00:10:19,911 The three who? 239 00:10:19,912 --> 00:10:23,250 What is that, some sort of fancy pants literary reference? 240 00:10:23,253 --> 00:10:24,790 I'm not much of a reader, you know. 241 00:10:24,791 --> 00:10:28,586 Just give me the big game and a cold can of "puh-buh-ruh." 242 00:10:28,587 --> 00:10:30,714 What? What's "puh-buh-ruh"? 243 00:10:32,214 --> 00:10:34,089 Oh, it's that cheap beer 244 00:10:34,092 --> 00:10:36,886 that we regular men... love. 245 00:10:36,887 --> 00:10:38,138 Do you mean PBR? 246 00:10:39,681 --> 00:10:41,766 Is that how it's pronounced? As PBR? 247 00:10:41,767 --> 00:10:44,643 Oh, this is a disaster. 248 00:10:44,645 --> 00:10:46,687 We just locked eyes again. 249 00:10:46,688 --> 00:10:48,482 Okay, I'm going to go ask to buy her a drink. 250 00:10:51,360 --> 00:10:52,652 Oh! 251 00:10:52,653 --> 00:10:53,904 I'm good! 252 00:11:04,540 --> 00:11:06,457 So this is pretty great, huh? 253 00:11:06,458 --> 00:11:08,459 If you told 8-year-old me that I'd be at a club 254 00:11:08,460 --> 00:11:11,920 with a hula hoop room, I'd have totally lost my shit. 255 00:11:11,922 --> 00:11:12,964 - Really? - Yeah. 256 00:11:12,965 --> 00:11:14,799 No, I was really into hula hooping growing up. 257 00:11:14,800 --> 00:11:17,601 My mom said I had the loosest hips in Cincinnati. 258 00:11:17,604 --> 00:11:19,637 Which I'm now realizing is a very disturbing thing 259 00:11:19,638 --> 00:11:21,223 to say to a young child. 260 00:11:22,933 --> 00:11:24,433 Um... 261 00:11:24,434 --> 00:11:27,520 Do-do you want to go to the, uh, candle room for a drink? 262 00:11:27,521 --> 00:11:30,356 And that's when I realized that there was 263 00:11:30,357 --> 00:11:32,900 a totally sweet, interested guy 264 00:11:32,901 --> 00:11:35,277 right in front of me. 265 00:11:35,279 --> 00:11:36,821 Yeah. 266 00:11:36,822 --> 00:11:38,656 Yeah. I do. 267 00:11:38,657 --> 00:11:41,201 Cool. Uh, okay, I'll get drinks. I'll meet you there. 268 00:11:46,290 --> 00:11:49,292 But then, I spotted him, right there, 269 00:11:49,293 --> 00:11:50,877 in the middle of FOMO. 270 00:11:50,878 --> 00:11:53,005 The ultimate Momoa-lookalike. 271 00:11:54,339 --> 00:11:56,591 - FOMO -Moa. 272 00:12:00,053 --> 00:12:02,013 Hey! H-how's it going with Eye Contact Girl? 273 00:12:02,014 --> 00:12:04,224 Oh, I moved on to No Bra Bethany! 274 00:12:05,976 --> 00:12:07,227 She's really nice. 275 00:12:09,253 --> 00:12:10,813 It was like the universe 276 00:12:10,814 --> 00:12:14,140 was testing my willpower to stay in the moment, 277 00:12:14,143 --> 00:12:16,569 and I was immediately failing that test. 278 00:12:16,570 --> 00:12:17,945 I had to get a picture. 279 00:12:17,946 --> 00:12:19,655 Hey! 280 00:12:19,656 --> 00:12:22,843 You're taking a picture of that Momoa for Ian. 281 00:12:22,846 --> 00:12:25,036 I wanna send him a stupid text to make him laugh. 282 00:12:25,037 --> 00:12:26,662 So then, he'll write me back and make me laugh. 283 00:12:26,663 --> 00:12:28,414 And if that's immature, I just don't care! 284 00:12:28,417 --> 00:12:31,584 Well, if you get to text Ian, then I get to break up with Charlie. 285 00:12:31,585 --> 00:12:33,836 Fine! I say, do it. 286 00:12:33,837 --> 00:12:36,297 Screw being mature. Alright? We're young! 287 00:12:36,298 --> 00:12:38,591 We can still make bad choices for a few more years. 288 00:12:38,592 --> 00:12:41,677 Yes! That's how we'll learn the lessons we need to become 289 00:12:41,678 --> 00:12:44,514 super-wise dick-crushing old people like Jane Fonda. 290 00:12:44,515 --> 00:12:46,515 Exactly! 291 00:12:46,517 --> 00:12:48,059 - Good talk. - Yep. Love you. 292 00:12:48,060 --> 00:12:49,311 - Love you. - Bye. 293 00:12:50,729 --> 00:12:51,855 Alright. 294 00:12:53,649 --> 00:12:55,649 I got ya. 295 00:12:55,651 --> 00:12:57,173 Hey! 296 00:12:57,176 --> 00:12:59,153 No photos at FOMO! 297 00:12:59,154 --> 00:13:02,198 Especially here at FOMO Soho. At FOMO Noho, 298 00:13:02,199 --> 00:13:04,408 you want a photo? Sure! YOLO! 299 00:13:04,409 --> 00:13:08,080 But at Soho FOMO, photos are no-no. You gotta go, yo! 300 00:13:14,086 --> 00:13:16,755 So, what's your favorite entry-level sedan? 301 00:13:17,881 --> 00:13:21,342 - Have you guys seen Sophie anywhere? - Uh, no. 302 00:13:21,343 --> 00:13:24,595 Well, if this is a setup, it's the worst setup I've ever been on. 303 00:13:24,596 --> 00:13:27,056 This is a setup between Jesse and Sophie, too? 304 00:13:27,057 --> 00:13:28,975 Uh, what do you mean "too"? 305 00:13:28,976 --> 00:13:31,936 Well, Valentina's setting the three of us up tonight, 306 00:13:31,937 --> 00:13:35,188 on a traditional American friends setup. 307 00:13:35,190 --> 00:13:36,399 Charlie! 308 00:13:36,400 --> 00:13:39,193 - We need to talk. - Hey, uh, quick Q. 309 00:13:39,194 --> 00:13:42,446 Is tonight a setup between Charlie and us or Jesse and Sophie? 310 00:13:42,447 --> 00:13:44,699 Charlie and you guys. Sophie isn't ready for a setup. 311 00:13:44,700 --> 00:13:46,357 She's still totally obsessed with Ian. 312 00:13:46,360 --> 00:13:48,869 Oh no. 313 00:13:48,871 --> 00:13:50,997 Did you think tonight was about you and Sophie? 314 00:13:50,998 --> 00:13:54,291 You know, I really, really didn't, but... 315 00:13:54,293 --> 00:13:56,478 someone convinced me it was. 316 00:13:57,754 --> 00:13:59,130 I'm sorry, man. 317 00:13:59,131 --> 00:14:01,174 Let's just go back to my bar, okay? 318 00:14:01,175 --> 00:14:03,677 With its lackluster drinks and zero activities. 319 00:14:04,446 --> 00:14:06,179 Hey! Maybe Jasper will hang out with us. 320 00:14:09,224 --> 00:14:10,726 Your sister's got game. 321 00:14:12,519 --> 00:14:14,352 Be honest with me. 322 00:14:14,354 --> 00:14:17,731 Is a traditional American friend setup even a thing? 323 00:14:17,733 --> 00:14:19,540 No, it's not. 324 00:14:19,543 --> 00:14:22,111 I thought maybe if you had your own crew to hang out with, 325 00:14:22,112 --> 00:14:24,696 I would feel less smothered. 326 00:14:24,698 --> 00:14:26,823 You feel smothered? 327 00:14:26,825 --> 00:14:29,160 But I'm always the little spoon. 328 00:14:29,161 --> 00:14:32,246 You're great, Charlie, but you're just... 329 00:14:32,247 --> 00:14:34,665 always there, and it-it's just too much for me. 330 00:14:34,666 --> 00:14:36,667 I think we should go our separate ways. 331 00:14:36,668 --> 00:14:39,003 Well, why didn't you just tell me that you needed space? 332 00:14:39,004 --> 00:14:41,838 That's why you sent me to Jersey for the bagels. Okay. 333 00:14:41,840 --> 00:14:42,840 Wow. 334 00:14:42,841 --> 00:14:45,218 If this is how you deal with the tiniest little wrinkle, 335 00:14:45,219 --> 00:14:47,135 then I agree. 336 00:14:47,137 --> 00:14:48,388 We should end things. 337 00:14:54,520 --> 00:14:58,355 Can't believe I lucky charmed you twice this morning. 338 00:14:58,357 --> 00:15:02,194 I crunched your captain twice, too! It was an even trade! 339 00:15:03,987 --> 00:15:05,530 ♪ Tell me... ♪ 340 00:15:05,531 --> 00:15:08,908 ♪ Did you sail across the sun? ♪ 341 00:15:08,909 --> 00:15:11,786 ♪ Did you make it to the Milky Way ♪ 342 00:15:11,787 --> 00:15:14,872 ♪ To see the lights all faded ♪ 343 00:15:14,873 --> 00:15:18,042 ♪ And that Heaven is overrated ♪ 344 00:15:20,295 --> 00:15:23,298 - I got kicked out of FOMO. - I broke up with Charlie. 345 00:15:24,383 --> 00:15:25,591 How did he take it? 346 00:15:25,592 --> 00:15:28,512 He said I should have just told him I needed some space. 347 00:15:29,680 --> 00:15:31,848 Funny. I never thought of that. 348 00:15:31,849 --> 00:15:34,141 I thought of it. I just didn't wanna do it 349 00:15:34,142 --> 00:15:37,019 'cause if you tell a guy what you need, and he does it, 350 00:15:37,020 --> 00:15:40,313 then when he tells you what he needs, you have to do it. 351 00:15:40,315 --> 00:15:43,651 And I don't want to do that. I only want to do exactly what I want 352 00:15:43,652 --> 00:15:45,904 when I want, how I want. 353 00:15:46,989 --> 00:15:49,781 And now, you can. 354 00:15:49,783 --> 00:15:52,201 Did Ian like your Momoa pic? 355 00:15:52,202 --> 00:15:54,161 I haven't sent it. 356 00:15:54,162 --> 00:15:57,622 - I can't decide if I'm going to. - Mm. 357 00:15:57,624 --> 00:15:59,125 You know, 358 00:15:59,126 --> 00:16:02,003 Jesse thought you invited everyone out tonight because you were into him. 359 00:16:02,004 --> 00:16:05,213 Oh my god, I left him waiting for me in the candle room! 360 00:16:05,215 --> 00:16:06,966 And his shirt looked very flammable. 361 00:16:06,967 --> 00:16:08,384 Don't worry, he got out. 362 00:16:08,385 --> 00:16:11,303 All the guys left. 363 00:16:11,305 --> 00:16:13,723 Looks like you two are having a good night. 364 00:16:13,724 --> 00:16:15,349 Who hurt you!? 365 00:16:20,731 --> 00:16:23,065 - Gin martini with a twist. - Thanks. 366 00:16:25,527 --> 00:16:27,111 Mm. 367 00:16:27,112 --> 00:16:29,405 And thanks for giving me another chance. 368 00:16:29,406 --> 00:16:30,615 Mates. 369 00:16:30,616 --> 00:16:32,950 I swear when I'm allowed to be my normal fancy self, 370 00:16:32,951 --> 00:16:34,536 I'm an absolute bloody delight. 371 00:16:35,871 --> 00:16:37,998 Those cufflinks are gorgeous. 372 00:16:41,793 --> 00:16:43,128 Thank you. 373 00:16:44,713 --> 00:16:48,131 By the way, I noticed how crisp your upper walls look. 374 00:16:48,133 --> 00:16:50,342 Is it White Dove? 375 00:16:50,344 --> 00:16:54,262 Yeah. Yeah, it is. 376 00:16:54,264 --> 00:16:55,681 Hey. 377 00:16:55,682 --> 00:16:57,100 Come here, we need to talk. 378 00:17:01,897 --> 00:17:03,189 Ooh... 379 00:17:03,190 --> 00:17:05,650 Here. It's from Essa Bagel. 380 00:17:05,651 --> 00:17:07,276 Best bagels in the city. 381 00:17:07,277 --> 00:17:09,530 It's where I should have sent you instead of Jersey. 382 00:17:10,531 --> 00:17:12,699 Well, I mean, how different can they be? 383 00:17:14,858 --> 00:17:16,805 Oh my god, those Jersey bagels are 384 00:17:16,808 --> 00:17:18,986 just little shit circles, aren't they? 385 00:17:18,989 --> 00:17:20,467 You were right. 386 00:17:20,470 --> 00:17:22,583 I should have just told you that I needed some space. 387 00:17:22,584 --> 00:17:24,878 I'm... really sorry. 388 00:17:27,965 --> 00:17:29,800 This isn't going to work. 389 00:17:30,968 --> 00:17:32,343 Oh. 390 00:17:32,344 --> 00:17:34,972 You know, living together, it's... it's too much. 391 00:17:36,181 --> 00:17:38,682 So, I am going to move out. 392 00:17:38,684 --> 00:17:40,725 Oh. 393 00:17:40,727 --> 00:17:44,022 Then, I would like to take you on a first date. 394 00:17:45,566 --> 00:17:46,858 Oh? 395 00:17:46,859 --> 00:17:49,068 We never really had one of those. 396 00:17:49,069 --> 00:17:52,153 We do need to take a step back and... 397 00:17:52,155 --> 00:17:54,531 start at the beginning. 398 00:17:54,533 --> 00:17:55,826 I'd love that. 399 00:17:57,874 --> 00:17:59,662 So, seeing as how we're easing into things, 400 00:17:59,663 --> 00:18:01,888 we probably shouldn't go and have sex in the storage closet. 401 00:18:01,890 --> 00:18:03,750 Bring the bagel. 402 00:18:08,547 --> 00:18:11,175 Hey! How you guys doing? Don't care! 403 00:18:12,176 --> 00:18:15,678 I just had the best night of my life! 404 00:18:15,679 --> 00:18:17,513 Somebody get lucky at Club FOMO? 405 00:18:17,514 --> 00:18:19,431 No! 406 00:18:19,433 --> 00:18:22,144 - I was rejected constantly. - Hi! I'm Ellen... 407 00:18:23,312 --> 00:18:26,022 I got way too drunk way too fast, 408 00:18:26,023 --> 00:18:28,941 and struck out many, many times. 409 00:18:28,942 --> 00:18:30,652 Cheers. 410 00:18:32,988 --> 00:18:34,488 So, why are you so happy? 411 00:18:34,489 --> 00:18:37,825 Because even though five... No, wait. 412 00:18:37,826 --> 00:18:39,452 Six! 413 00:18:39,453 --> 00:18:42,121 Six women didn't want to give me their numbers, 414 00:18:42,122 --> 00:18:45,291 there are so many more out there waiting for me. 415 00:18:45,292 --> 00:18:48,085 New York rules! SID: Woo! 416 00:18:48,086 --> 00:18:49,546 I'll drink to that! 417 00:18:50,714 --> 00:18:53,049 Just play, damn it. 418 00:18:53,050 --> 00:18:55,301 Really need this right now. 419 00:18:55,302 --> 00:18:57,636 Why does everything in the world hate me? 420 00:18:57,638 --> 00:18:58,638 - Hey. - Hey. 421 00:18:58,639 --> 00:18:59,972 Hey! 422 00:18:59,973 --> 00:19:02,099 Just... playing a song. 423 00:19:02,100 --> 00:19:04,478 No big thang. 424 00:19:07,314 --> 00:19:09,565 I hope this doesn't make you feel too uncomfortable, 425 00:19:09,566 --> 00:19:12,609 but I know that you thought tonight was a setup. 426 00:19:12,611 --> 00:19:16,031 I'm extremely uncomfortable, but go ahead. 427 00:19:17,157 --> 00:19:19,742 I'm sorry for the misunderstanding. 428 00:19:19,743 --> 00:19:22,078 And for standing you up in the candle room earlier. 429 00:19:22,079 --> 00:19:25,540 It's fine. I mean, it stung for a sec, but nothing a quick spin 430 00:19:25,541 --> 00:19:28,460 in the old hula hoop room couldn't fix. 431 00:19:33,006 --> 00:19:34,424 Jesse... 432 00:19:35,676 --> 00:19:38,051 I'm a mess right now. 433 00:19:38,053 --> 00:19:40,556 And I know that you've been through a lot with your ex, 434 00:19:41,682 --> 00:19:44,350 and that dating in the city can make you feel... 435 00:19:44,351 --> 00:19:47,019 hopeless and alone and like you will never find someone 436 00:19:47,020 --> 00:19:50,147 who realizes how amazing you are. 437 00:19:50,148 --> 00:19:52,196 And... I don't want to be one of those 438 00:19:52,199 --> 00:19:53,978 people who make you feel like that. 439 00:19:55,457 --> 00:19:57,197 Because I actually can see it. 440 00:20:00,532 --> 00:20:02,285 I'm a mess, too. 441 00:20:02,288 --> 00:20:04,245 I mean, it literally took all of my energy 442 00:20:04,246 --> 00:20:06,727 just to put this stupid shirt on and leave the house tonight, 443 00:20:06,730 --> 00:20:08,624 and being in that... 444 00:20:08,625 --> 00:20:11,377 horrible club just made me miss staying home 445 00:20:11,378 --> 00:20:13,087 and watching Love Island with Meredith. 446 00:20:13,088 --> 00:20:15,298 Even though Meredith is a terrible person 447 00:20:15,299 --> 00:20:16,966 who publicly rejected my proposal 448 00:20:16,967 --> 00:20:18,634 and took my cat in our breakup. 449 00:20:18,635 --> 00:20:20,553 Oh! She got the cat? 450 00:20:20,554 --> 00:20:22,722 No, not the cat. My cat. 451 00:20:22,723 --> 00:20:25,183 My 11-year-old cat that I rescued from a shelter, 452 00:20:25,184 --> 00:20:28,187 and named Girl so that I could call her Jesse's Girl. 453 00:20:29,396 --> 00:20:30,772 Oh my god... 454 00:20:33,358 --> 00:20:35,569 And now you wish that you had Jesse's Girl. 455 00:20:37,070 --> 00:20:39,573 Like I said, I'm a mess, too. 456 00:20:41,200 --> 00:20:43,743 Well, maybe we could be friends that are messes 457 00:20:43,744 --> 00:20:45,828 instead of two messes who try to date 458 00:20:45,829 --> 00:20:49,374 because that would just inevitably be... a mess. 459 00:20:50,709 --> 00:20:53,420 Yeah, that sounds like a really good plan. 460 00:20:55,339 --> 00:20:57,799 Oh! Hello, everyone. 461 00:21:01,929 --> 00:21:03,596 Why are you covered in poppy seeds? 462 00:21:03,597 --> 00:21:04,973 Don't worry about it. 463 00:21:06,433 --> 00:21:09,143 I'll have another drink, please. Just the usual. 464 00:21:09,144 --> 00:21:11,480 Gin martini with a twist coming right up. 465 00:21:13,690 --> 00:21:15,983 He has a usual! Jasper. 466 00:21:15,984 --> 00:21:18,402 Jasper... He has a usual. 467 00:21:18,403 --> 00:21:20,196 Yo, that's fire, man. 468 00:21:20,197 --> 00:21:23,031 Yo, I need, uh, next Saturday off. 469 00:21:23,033 --> 00:21:25,023 Um, also, right now, I'm leaving early. 470 00:21:25,026 --> 00:21:27,828 Hey, buh-buh-buh! You got it, buddy. Get out of here. 471 00:21:29,998 --> 00:21:31,457 - Is this... - Yes. 472 00:21:31,458 --> 00:21:34,377 Drops of Jupiter. I-I know it's kind of cheesy, 473 00:21:34,378 --> 00:21:37,380 but it's just... sort of my comfort song. 474 00:21:37,381 --> 00:21:41,051 ♪ With drops of Jupiter in her hair ♪ 475 00:21:42,886 --> 00:21:45,972 It was hard to live in the moment in 2022. 476 00:21:45,973 --> 00:21:49,058 There was always someplace else you could be, 477 00:21:49,059 --> 00:21:50,810 someone else you could be with. 478 00:21:50,811 --> 00:21:52,979 But every once in a while, 479 00:21:52,980 --> 00:21:55,649 you found yourself in the exact right spot. 480 00:21:56,817 --> 00:21:59,694 And you had that rarest of moments 481 00:21:59,695 --> 00:22:03,573 where you had absolutely no FOMO, 482 00:22:03,574 --> 00:22:07,159 and you could just... be. 483 00:22:35,814 --> 00:22:42,124 - Synced and corrected by VitoSilans - -- www.Addic7ed.com -- 36012

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