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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,792 --> 00:00:03,172 Chappelle's Show 2 00:00:03,250 --> 00:00:04,580 Chappelle's Show 3 00:00:04,667 --> 00:00:05,917 Chappelle's Show ♪ Chappelle's Show 4 00:00:06,000 --> 00:00:06,790 ♪ Chappelle's Show 5 00:00:06,875 --> 00:00:07,825 ♪ Ow! ♪ 6 00:00:09,042 --> 00:00:11,212 ♪ Whoo-hoo-hoo ♪ 7 00:00:11,042 --> 00:00:12,292 ♪ Whoo-hoo ♪ 8 00:00:12,375 --> 00:00:13,915 ♪ Yeah, yeah ♪ 9 00:00:16,000 --> 00:00:17,580 Let's start the show. 10 00:00:25,125 --> 00:00:26,705 [announcer] You've seen them at Mardi Gras 11 00:00:26,792 --> 00:00:28,082 and on spring break. 12 00:00:28,167 --> 00:00:30,037 Now, see them as you've never seen them before, 13 00:00:30,125 --> 00:00:32,035 in the wilds of Africa! 14 00:00:32,125 --> 00:00:34,745 That's right, available for the first time on home video, 15 00:00:34,833 --> 00:00:38,423 it's National Geographic's "Third-World Girls Gone Wild!" 16 00:00:38,500 --> 00:00:39,790 No collection of videos showing 17 00:00:39,875 --> 00:00:41,125 girls lifting their shirts up is complete 18 00:00:41,208 --> 00:00:42,958 without National Geographic's 19 00:00:43,042 --> 00:00:44,542 "Third-World Girls Gone Wild." 20 00:00:44,625 --> 00:00:45,575 Call now. 21 00:00:45,667 --> 00:00:46,577 [audience cheering and applauding] 22 00:00:46,667 --> 00:00:50,167 [announcer] Dave Chappelle! 23 00:00:51,042 --> 00:00:52,672 Hey! 24 00:00:53,208 --> 00:00:54,208 [chuckling] 25 00:00:56,042 --> 00:00:59,502 Welcome back to Chappelle's Show. 26 00:00:59,583 --> 00:01:03,043 You know, folks, uh, it's Oscar season, 27 00:01:03,125 --> 00:01:06,535 and, uh, I don't know who's gonna win, 28 00:01:06,625 --> 00:01:08,875 but I gotta tell you, the most moving film 29 00:01:08,958 --> 00:01:12,128 that I saw last year had to be 30 00:01:12,208 --> 00:01:13,168 Antwone Fisher. 31 00:01:14,167 --> 00:01:15,957 -Yes. -[audience applauding] 32 00:01:17,208 --> 00:01:20,248 It was directed by Denzel Washington, 33 00:01:20,333 --> 00:01:22,883 but more noteworthy than that 34 00:01:22,958 --> 00:01:25,128 is it was written by Antwone Fisher, 35 00:01:26,208 --> 00:01:27,378 which is pretty deep. 36 00:01:27,458 --> 00:01:29,078 I didn't know you were allowed 37 00:01:29,167 --> 00:01:31,127 to write a movie about yourself. 38 00:01:32,250 --> 00:01:33,460 I mean, you know what I mean? 39 00:01:33,542 --> 00:01:36,962 The temptation to lie would be too strong for me 40 00:01:37,042 --> 00:01:38,332 to do something like that. 41 00:01:38,417 --> 00:01:40,917 Not that I'm a liar, but, man, this is a movie, 42 00:01:41,000 --> 00:01:43,040 you gotta tell the legend. 43 00:01:43,125 --> 00:01:46,495 So I bring to you now, Dave Chappelle, 44 00:01:46,583 --> 00:01:48,383 written by Dave Chappelle. 45 00:01:52,250 --> 00:01:53,920 [narrator] Once in a great while, 46 00:01:54,000 --> 00:01:56,040 a film comes along that changes the way 47 00:01:56,125 --> 00:01:58,125 we think about ourselves. 48 00:01:58,208 --> 00:01:59,078 -[woman screaming] -[man] Last time, alright? 49 00:01:59,167 --> 00:02:00,417 I want you to push, Mrs. Chappelle. 50 00:02:00,500 --> 00:02:01,080 I want you to push. 51 00:02:01,167 --> 00:02:03,167 [screaming] 52 00:02:03,250 --> 00:02:05,000 [groaning] 53 00:02:05,083 --> 00:02:07,883 [coughing] Excuse me. 54 00:02:07,958 --> 00:02:10,078 [screaming] Ah! 55 00:02:10,167 --> 00:02:11,537 [laughing] 56 00:02:12,667 --> 00:02:15,167 That is one funny-ass kid. 57 00:02:15,250 --> 00:02:16,960 Wacka-wacka! 58 00:02:17,042 --> 00:02:20,042 [all laughing] 59 00:02:20,125 --> 00:02:21,375 [doctor] And look at the penis on him! 60 00:02:21,458 --> 00:02:22,208 It's bigger than mine! 61 00:02:23,792 --> 00:02:24,922 What are you gonna name him? 62 00:02:25,000 --> 00:02:26,500 I'm gonna call him Dave. 63 00:02:26,583 --> 00:02:28,713 [doctor] Dave? -Dave Chappelle. 64 00:02:28,792 --> 00:02:30,082 Watch your eye. 65 00:02:30,167 --> 00:02:32,127 [narrator] He set his sights on comedy, 66 00:02:32,208 --> 00:02:33,628 and would not be denied. 67 00:02:33,708 --> 00:02:34,878 [theme from "8 mile" playing] 68 00:02:34,958 --> 00:02:36,458 ♪ Where you from, When you leavin'? ♪ 69 00:02:36,542 --> 00:02:38,832 ♪ Nice shirt, Does it come in your size? ♪ 70 00:02:38,917 --> 00:02:40,037 ♪ Do I come to your job ♪ 71 00:02:40,125 --> 00:02:41,535 ♪ And smack the broom Out your hand ♪ 72 00:02:41,625 --> 00:02:44,915 Something needs to happen with this comedy thing right now. 73 00:02:45,000 --> 00:02:48,880 ♪ Jokes, and jokes, and jokes, and jokes, and ah-ha-ha-ha ♪ 74 00:02:48,958 --> 00:02:52,418 ♪ Spaghetti, spaghetti, Spaghetti, spaghetti ♪ 75 00:02:52,500 --> 00:02:53,710 ♪ 8 mile ♪ ♪ 76 00:02:53,792 --> 00:02:56,002 [narrator] His skills took him to the top, 77 00:02:56,083 --> 00:02:58,543 and allowed him to have sex with Janet Jackson, 78 00:02:58,625 --> 00:03:00,035 Jennifer Lopez, 79 00:03:00,125 --> 00:03:01,665 a bunch of the girls from the Big Pimpin' video 80 00:03:01,750 --> 00:03:03,420 and Halle Berry. 81 00:03:03,500 --> 00:03:07,290 That was great havin' sex in the shower, Halle Berry. 82 00:03:07,375 --> 00:03:10,665 You drained my Monster's Balls. [chuckles] 83 00:03:10,750 --> 00:03:12,040 -Aw, girl... -[mobile ringing] 84 00:03:12,125 --> 00:03:13,745 Oh, hold up, I'm getting a call, I'll be right back. 85 00:03:15,208 --> 00:03:16,078 Hello? 86 00:03:16,167 --> 00:03:17,167 [over phone] Hey, Dave, it's Eddie Murphy. 87 00:03:17,250 --> 00:03:18,920 [man] And Richard Pryor. 88 00:03:19,000 --> 00:03:20,170 Ah, what's up, y'all? 89 00:03:20,000 --> 00:03:21,170 [Richard] Hey, man, we were just talking 90 00:03:21,250 --> 00:03:23,460 about how much funnier you are than us. 91 00:03:23,542 --> 00:03:25,712 [chuckles] Y'all crazy, man. 92 00:03:25,792 --> 00:03:27,252 [Richard] Can you come have dinner with us, Dave? 93 00:03:27,333 --> 00:03:28,583 I mean, really, please? 94 00:03:28,667 --> 00:03:30,247 Could you... Could you have some dinner? 95 00:03:30,333 --> 00:03:32,003 Dinner tonight sounds great, Richard Pryor. 96 00:03:32,083 --> 00:03:33,213 [Richard] Really? Ha! 97 00:03:33,292 --> 00:03:34,382 You gonna bring Halle? 98 00:03:34,458 --> 00:03:36,168 'Cause that's a fine bitch. 99 00:03:36,000 --> 00:03:38,670 Nah, son, that ain't no dinner thing. 100 00:03:38,750 --> 00:03:41,210 [chuckles] Call me later, man. 101 00:03:44,125 --> 00:03:47,075 Hey, Halle, how you gettin' home? 102 00:03:47,167 --> 00:03:50,127 [narrator] And all the time, he kept it real. 103 00:03:50,208 --> 00:03:52,998 Did I tell y'all to sell drugs, huh? 104 00:03:53,083 --> 00:03:56,043 No, Hove did that! 105 00:03:56,125 --> 00:03:58,825 So hopefully none of y'all have to go through that. 106 00:03:58,917 --> 00:04:00,457 [narrator] His amazing journey 107 00:04:00,542 --> 00:04:02,712 led him straight to the halls of power. 108 00:04:02,792 --> 00:04:03,922 [ America the beautiful playing] 109 00:04:05,417 --> 00:04:08,167 Thanks for having me, Mr. Bush. I appreciate the invitation. 110 00:04:09,958 --> 00:04:12,958 [Bush] Well, son, your huge heart, 111 00:04:13,042 --> 00:04:16,422 generosity and courage have saved America. 112 00:04:16,500 --> 00:04:17,380 You're the champ. 113 00:04:18,625 --> 00:04:20,165 I know I am. 114 00:04:20,250 --> 00:04:23,750 I beat everybody I faced, and I'm still here. 115 00:04:23,833 --> 00:04:26,423 I'm still standin', I'm still strong! 116 00:04:26,500 --> 00:04:27,540 I'm bright. 117 00:04:29,250 --> 00:04:31,040 [Bush] Would you like to take a bath with my daughters? 118 00:04:32,167 --> 00:04:34,127 They could learn something from you, 119 00:04:34,208 --> 00:04:35,918 and I heard you have a 16-inch penis. 120 00:04:36,792 --> 00:04:38,172 Eighteen, but who's countin'? 121 00:04:38,250 --> 00:04:39,830 [both laughing] 122 00:04:39,917 --> 00:04:44,787 [narrator reading] 123 00:04:44,875 --> 00:04:46,495 [Bush] Yeah, gimme one of them... 124 00:04:46,583 --> 00:04:49,633 Yeah, thing there... Did I get that right? Yeah... 125 00:04:49,708 --> 00:04:51,248 [laughing] No! 126 00:04:55,958 --> 00:04:57,748 True story. 127 00:04:57,833 --> 00:04:59,333 Hey, look, we're gonna take a quick commercial break, 128 00:04:59,417 --> 00:05:02,377 and we'll be right back with more Chappelle's Show. 129 00:05:02,458 --> 00:05:03,248 [softly] Thank you. 130 00:05:08,125 --> 00:05:09,495 ♪ 131 00:05:11,333 --> 00:05:12,923 Ha-ha! Go ahead. 132 00:05:14,125 --> 00:05:17,035 Welcome back, gang, welcome back. 133 00:05:20,083 --> 00:05:22,833 Folks, in my ongoing effort 134 00:05:22,917 --> 00:05:26,327 to promote dialogue amongst the diversity of Americans, 135 00:05:26,417 --> 00:05:29,037 I have another segment I would like to bring to you. 136 00:05:29,125 --> 00:05:30,915 A lot of you might, uh, have questions 137 00:05:31,000 --> 00:05:32,000 that you want to ask gay people, 138 00:05:32,083 --> 00:05:33,253 but you're afraid, again, 139 00:05:34,542 --> 00:05:35,882 'cause you're afraid to ask. 140 00:05:36,833 --> 00:05:39,173 So I gave people an opportunity 141 00:05:39,250 --> 00:05:40,580 to ask those questions, as well, 142 00:05:40,667 --> 00:05:42,877 and I got none other than Mario Cantone, 143 00:05:44,917 --> 00:05:47,917 known as the gay guy on, um, Sex and the City. 144 00:05:49,208 --> 00:05:51,418 Matter of fact, he's just a gay guy in the city. 145 00:05:51,500 --> 00:05:54,170 But he's also a fantastic comedian. 146 00:05:54,000 --> 00:05:55,290 Please, ladies and gentlemen, 147 00:05:55,375 --> 00:05:57,535 make some noise for Mario Cantone 148 00:05:57,625 --> 00:05:59,745 and Ask a Gay Dude. 149 00:06:06,083 --> 00:06:08,043 Alright, I would like to know 150 00:06:08,125 --> 00:06:11,415 when a gay guy is performing oral sex, 151 00:06:11,500 --> 00:06:13,710 is it better than a female? 152 00:06:13,792 --> 00:06:15,792 Better... Better... How the fuck do I know? 153 00:06:15,875 --> 00:06:16,705 Next question! 154 00:06:19,750 --> 00:06:21,290 It's better! 155 00:06:21,375 --> 00:06:24,535 Hey, yo, I just got one question for you fruity pants out there, 156 00:06:24,625 --> 00:06:27,165 it's Bazaar Royale from Bloodline Records, 157 00:06:27,000 --> 00:06:30,000 I wanna know, what is the rainbow about? 158 00:06:30,083 --> 00:06:32,293 What is the rainbow about! 159 00:06:32,375 --> 00:06:36,035 I'm not feelin' the rainbow! I'm not feelin' the rainbow! 160 00:06:37,000 --> 00:06:39,290 Get back at me about that! 161 00:06:39,375 --> 00:06:41,375 "Fruity pants", let me tell you something. 162 00:06:41,458 --> 00:06:43,208 I'll put a band-aid over your left cheek 163 00:06:43,042 --> 00:06:44,292 and make you my Nelly. 164 00:06:44,375 --> 00:06:45,915 Fruity pants! 165 00:06:46,000 --> 00:06:47,880 Since you're guys... 166 00:06:47,958 --> 00:06:49,998 Like, guys are always, like, after every chick... 167 00:06:50,083 --> 00:06:52,333 So, since you're still a guy, but you like guys, 168 00:06:52,417 --> 00:06:53,957 then, you'd be after every guy... 169 00:06:54,042 --> 00:06:54,832 So, do you want me... 170 00:06:55,708 --> 00:06:56,458 now? 171 00:06:58,417 --> 00:06:59,377 Do you want this? 172 00:07:00,542 --> 00:07:02,172 You can't have this, but if you want... 173 00:07:02,250 --> 00:07:04,380 I wanna know do you want this? 174 00:07:04,458 --> 00:07:07,128 Oh-oh, you tease. 175 00:07:07,208 --> 00:07:09,628 You big tease. 176 00:07:09,708 --> 00:07:10,788 Hold on one second. 177 00:07:11,792 --> 00:07:16,292 [retching and spitting] 178 00:07:23,333 --> 00:07:25,043 I gotta tell you guys, man, uh, 179 00:07:25,125 --> 00:07:27,665 my favorite TV show for the last few years 180 00:07:27,750 --> 00:07:29,080 has been The Real World. 181 00:07:29,167 --> 00:07:32,787 Maybe real life is just more interesting than fake life, 182 00:07:32,875 --> 00:07:33,955 I don't know what it is... 183 00:07:37,000 --> 00:07:38,750 But that show moves me! 184 00:07:40,167 --> 00:07:42,167 But the thing that makes me, like, mad about... 185 00:07:42,000 --> 00:07:44,210 Not mad, but I just don't like this about The Real World, 186 00:07:44,042 --> 00:07:46,212 is every few years, they always put a Black guy on there 187 00:07:46,292 --> 00:07:49,712 and try to make him look crazy. 188 00:07:49,792 --> 00:07:52,172 Like, he'll freak out, you know, but it's like... 189 00:07:52,250 --> 00:07:53,460 Of course, he's gonna freak out. 190 00:07:53,542 --> 00:07:54,712 You put him around 191 00:07:54,792 --> 00:07:56,042 six of the craziest white people you can find, 192 00:07:57,292 --> 00:07:59,042 and then expect him to live a normal life. 193 00:07:59,125 --> 00:08:01,205 They would not like that if we made a show 194 00:08:01,292 --> 00:08:03,132 where we put one white guy 195 00:08:03,208 --> 00:08:06,168 around six of the craziest Black people we could find, 196 00:08:06,000 --> 00:08:07,130 would they? 197 00:08:08,125 --> 00:08:09,205 Well, guess what? 198 00:08:09,042 --> 00:08:11,462 I got a show just like that. 199 00:08:14,167 --> 00:08:17,417 This is the true story of six motherfuckin' strangers... 200 00:08:17,500 --> 00:08:19,210 Bein' put in a motherfuckin' house... 201 00:08:19,292 --> 00:08:22,082 And havin' their motherfuckin' lives taped... 202 00:08:22,167 --> 00:08:23,417 Find out what happens 203 00:08:23,500 --> 00:08:26,080 when people stop bein' all polite and shit 204 00:08:26,167 --> 00:08:27,417 and start bein' real. 205 00:08:27,500 --> 00:08:29,040 Mad real. 206 00:08:29,125 --> 00:08:30,325 Mad Real World, son. 207 00:08:30,417 --> 00:08:31,667 [all] Hoboken! 208 00:08:31,750 --> 00:08:32,630 a'ight? 209 00:08:32,708 --> 00:08:34,878 -A'ight? -Alright? 210 00:08:38,875 --> 00:08:41,745 When I first entered the house, um, you know... 211 00:08:42,875 --> 00:08:44,375 needless to say, I was a little surprised 212 00:08:44,458 --> 00:08:46,128 to meet the other roommates. 213 00:08:46,833 --> 00:08:48,133 Sorry, sorry. 214 00:08:54,167 --> 00:08:55,077 How ya doin'? 215 00:08:55,833 --> 00:08:56,583 [woman] What's up, baby? 216 00:08:56,667 --> 00:08:57,667 [all arguing] 217 00:08:57,750 --> 00:08:59,710 [woman] What? What? What? What? 218 00:09:01,083 --> 00:09:02,383 Hey, what's goin' on? My name is Chad. 219 00:09:06,125 --> 00:09:07,915 [coughing] 220 00:09:09,167 --> 00:09:10,207 [muttering] 221 00:09:12,458 --> 00:09:14,578 I don't really hang out with too many Black people. 222 00:09:15,250 --> 00:09:16,540 Who ordered pizza? 223 00:09:16,625 --> 00:09:19,125 No, no, no, I... I... I'm your new roommate, right? 224 00:09:19,208 --> 00:09:20,168 You wanna... You wanna room? 225 00:09:20,000 --> 00:09:23,420 Nah, all the beds is full. 226 00:09:23,500 --> 00:09:25,420 You got to room with TyRee. 227 00:09:33,667 --> 00:09:35,417 My name is TyRee, and, yeah, 228 00:09:35,500 --> 00:09:36,830 I went to prison. 229 00:09:36,917 --> 00:09:39,037 I'm your roommate, Chad. 230 00:09:39,125 --> 00:09:40,785 Well, looky here, Chad, 231 00:09:40,875 --> 00:09:43,125 for the entire period you in my room, 232 00:09:43,208 --> 00:09:45,578 I better not catch you standin' up peein'. 233 00:09:45,667 --> 00:09:47,077 You sit down when you pee, you understand? 234 00:09:48,792 --> 00:09:49,832 Uh... 235 00:09:49,917 --> 00:09:51,127 That's right. 236 00:09:51,208 --> 00:09:53,788 Now, get your fat-ass on out of here, white boy. 237 00:09:53,875 --> 00:09:56,495 Nighty-night, keep your butthole tight. 238 00:09:56,583 --> 00:09:57,883 [laughing] 239 00:10:00,542 --> 00:10:03,082 Let me try on some cotton Dockers. [laughs] 240 00:10:05,083 --> 00:10:06,833 What's the square root of this apartment? [laughing] 241 00:10:10,125 --> 00:10:11,125 [scoffs] He didn't know 242 00:10:11,208 --> 00:10:13,668 what he was getting himself into, you know? 243 00:10:19,625 --> 00:10:22,245 They gave us a job running the juice bar. 244 00:10:22,333 --> 00:10:24,003 -Alright, enjoy. -Thanks a lot. 245 00:10:24,083 --> 00:10:25,503 I wasn't really crazy 246 00:10:25,583 --> 00:10:27,173 about the way 247 00:10:27,000 --> 00:10:29,250 some of the other roommates, um, 248 00:10:29,333 --> 00:10:30,963 acted in the juice bar. 249 00:10:31,042 --> 00:10:32,422 [coughing] 250 00:10:32,500 --> 00:10:34,880 Look at me, America, I'm makin' juice. 251 00:10:35,458 --> 00:10:36,078 [blender stops] 252 00:10:37,083 --> 00:10:39,043 I call this, "The Tron Special." 253 00:10:41,042 --> 00:10:41,962 Boo-ya! 254 00:10:42,042 --> 00:10:43,422 This right here is the good shit. 255 00:10:44,500 --> 00:10:46,460 Drip, drip, drip, drip... 256 00:10:46,542 --> 00:10:48,172 It's just better if, uh, if-- 257 00:10:48,000 --> 00:10:49,670 Get outta my face, nigga! 258 00:10:49,750 --> 00:10:51,460 I'm making juice, alright? 259 00:10:51,542 --> 00:10:54,212 Fine, fine, you make your juice, I don't know. 260 00:10:54,958 --> 00:10:55,998 [blender whirring] 261 00:10:57,417 --> 00:10:58,787 Whoa! 262 00:10:58,875 --> 00:11:01,325 They didn't have much respect for the job. 263 00:11:01,417 --> 00:11:03,287 [Tron] Alright, alright. 264 00:11:03,375 --> 00:11:06,075 Hold on, let me roll, one more roll, one more roll. Alright. 265 00:11:06,167 --> 00:11:08,077 Hey, uh, guys, you know, uh... 266 00:11:08,167 --> 00:11:10,077 We're here to work, not play. 267 00:11:10,167 --> 00:11:11,207 You know, we can't have this conversation every day. 268 00:11:11,042 --> 00:11:12,082 Hey! 269 00:11:12,167 --> 00:11:13,997 Yo, what is your problem, man? 270 00:11:14,083 --> 00:11:15,423 Why you wanna work so hard, huh? 271 00:11:15,500 --> 00:11:19,080 Yeah, man, America wanna see us live, not work. 272 00:11:19,167 --> 00:11:22,917 Look at me, America, Look how Tron is living. 273 00:11:23,000 --> 00:11:25,000 For the city... 274 00:11:25,917 --> 00:11:27,167 Get your ass outta here. Now! 275 00:11:27,250 --> 00:11:28,500 This is a place of business... 276 00:11:28,583 --> 00:11:29,883 Well, bring some juice back, nigga! 277 00:11:29,958 --> 00:11:31,998 Sell me some juice, bitch, I'm thirsty! 278 00:11:32,083 --> 00:11:33,293 Get me a Philly Blunt, son. 279 00:11:33,375 --> 00:11:35,035 And a banana cognac, biatch! 280 00:11:36,250 --> 00:11:39,460 C'mon, a-clickety-clack, a-clickety-clack. 281 00:11:39,542 --> 00:11:41,632 -[sirens wailing] -[Tron] Police, nigga, police! 282 00:11:41,708 --> 00:11:43,078 They comin' this way! 283 00:11:43,167 --> 00:11:44,207 This way, come on, y'all! 284 00:11:45,417 --> 00:11:47,247 Get my money! Hurry, get my money! 285 00:11:50,417 --> 00:11:52,127 My girlfriend Katie came in from Maine, 286 00:11:53,583 --> 00:11:56,043 so great to spend some quality time with her. 287 00:11:56,125 --> 00:11:57,825 Hi, my name is Katie. 288 00:11:57,917 --> 00:12:00,127 [Chad] I know we're still young, 289 00:12:00,208 --> 00:12:01,578 but, I get the feeling 290 00:12:01,667 --> 00:12:02,747 that Katie, you know, 291 00:12:03,708 --> 00:12:04,998 she might be the one. 292 00:12:10,375 --> 00:12:12,035 TyRee made me really uncomfortable, 293 00:12:12,125 --> 00:12:13,785 the way he was looking at me and Katie. 294 00:12:15,167 --> 00:12:17,577 Something in his eyes that kind of scared me, 295 00:12:17,667 --> 00:12:20,627 you know, and, uh... It wasn't appropriate. 296 00:12:26,417 --> 00:12:27,287 [muttering] 297 00:12:28,792 --> 00:12:29,922 Keep on doin' what you doin'. 298 00:12:32,083 --> 00:12:33,713 And then there was that one night in my room. 299 00:12:38,667 --> 00:12:40,997 [music playing] 300 00:12:46,375 --> 00:12:47,705 [audience exclaiming] 301 00:12:47,792 --> 00:12:49,212 [TyRee] Say, nigga, get your ass up. 302 00:12:49,042 --> 00:12:50,962 I need that bed. I got company. 303 00:12:51,042 --> 00:12:52,582 My man, Lysol, fresh out the joint. 304 00:12:52,667 --> 00:12:53,917 Yeah. 305 00:12:54,000 --> 00:12:56,540 Hello, Lysol. No problem, TyRee. 306 00:12:58,333 --> 00:12:59,463 C'mon, Katie, let's go. 307 00:12:59,542 --> 00:13:01,462 No, nah, nah, son, 308 00:13:01,542 --> 00:13:02,922 ooh, she can stay. 309 00:13:03,000 --> 00:13:05,080 You know what, Chad? I'm gonna stay here. 310 00:13:05,167 --> 00:13:09,207 Lysol and TyRee, they're just genuinely nice guys. 311 00:13:09,042 --> 00:13:10,882 What you waitin' for, man? Get your fat-ass out of here 312 00:13:10,958 --> 00:13:11,998 before I cut some bacon off your back. 313 00:13:13,625 --> 00:13:15,625 [sniffles] Can we stop the tape? 314 00:13:16,792 --> 00:13:18,002 [Lysol] What's up? 315 00:13:18,083 --> 00:13:19,253 [TyRee] Yeah, we gonna send that back to the joint, 316 00:13:19,333 --> 00:13:21,133 so niggas know how we livin' out here, 317 00:13:21,000 --> 00:13:22,420 you know what I mean? 318 00:13:22,500 --> 00:13:26,250 I saw Katie with, uh, TyRee and Lysol, 319 00:13:26,333 --> 00:13:27,503 and, um, 320 00:13:28,750 --> 00:13:29,750 I worked my way through it. 321 00:13:30,625 --> 00:13:31,665 [chuckles] 322 00:13:31,750 --> 00:13:34,380 [TyRee] Do your thing there, doggy, Yeah! 323 00:13:34,458 --> 00:13:36,498 [sobbing] Oh, Katie... 324 00:13:36,583 --> 00:13:38,333 Yo, could you hold it down? 325 00:13:38,417 --> 00:13:40,327 We're tryin' to make love over here. 326 00:13:41,708 --> 00:13:43,248 [Tron] Chappelle's Show will be right back 327 00:13:43,333 --> 00:13:45,713 with more Mad Real World, biatch! 328 00:13:47,875 --> 00:13:49,375 Okay. 329 00:13:49,458 --> 00:13:51,958 ♪ Turn on your TV ♪ ♪ Ow! ♪ 330 00:13:52,042 --> 00:13:53,132 ♪ What you gonna see ♪ 331 00:13:53,208 --> 00:13:55,498 [Tron] And, now, more Mad Real World. 332 00:13:55,583 --> 00:13:58,083 Um, it's good to be alone for a minute 333 00:13:58,167 --> 00:13:59,167 in the confession room. 334 00:13:59,250 --> 00:14:00,790 [laughing] 335 00:14:00,875 --> 00:14:02,075 Niggas is wildin'! 336 00:14:02,167 --> 00:14:04,207 -[music playing] -[crowd yelling] 337 00:14:07,000 --> 00:14:09,170 I remember that we were all joking around, 338 00:14:09,000 --> 00:14:11,040 and Tron got me in a, uh, 339 00:14:11,125 --> 00:14:12,165 a sleeper hold. 340 00:14:12,250 --> 00:14:14,460 Oh, yeah! 341 00:14:16,125 --> 00:14:17,415 [crowd yelling] 342 00:14:21,250 --> 00:14:22,210 [exclaiming] 343 00:14:23,208 --> 00:14:25,038 I'm king of the world! 344 00:14:25,125 --> 00:14:27,415 I don't think he meant to hurt me, but, uh... 345 00:14:27,500 --> 00:14:29,170 I don't... I'll be honest, 346 00:14:29,000 --> 00:14:31,080 I don't remember a whole lot after that. 347 00:14:31,167 --> 00:14:33,497 [hissing] 348 00:14:33,583 --> 00:14:36,043 [crowd cheering and yelling] 349 00:14:39,875 --> 00:14:42,125 [TyRee] We gonna take Chad upstairs, 350 00:14:42,208 --> 00:14:43,378 you know what I'm sayin', and tuck him in. 351 00:14:45,042 --> 00:14:46,502 Oh, okay, that's nice, yeah. 352 00:14:48,000 --> 00:14:49,960 Be careful if you get a sleeper hold 353 00:14:50,042 --> 00:14:52,542 because the next day your anus will really hurt. 354 00:15:00,500 --> 00:15:01,790 You know, I'll admit it, 355 00:15:01,875 --> 00:15:04,495 when my dad came by, I was a little bit concerned. 356 00:15:04,583 --> 00:15:06,133 [Chad] Hey, guys, 357 00:15:06,208 --> 00:15:08,538 I'd like to introduce you all to my dad. 358 00:15:10,000 --> 00:15:11,750 I brought some brownies. 359 00:15:11,833 --> 00:15:13,083 Do they got weed in 'em? 360 00:15:13,167 --> 00:15:14,207 [Chad] No! 361 00:15:16,083 --> 00:15:17,583 I felt bad for that white boy, 362 00:15:17,667 --> 00:15:20,167 but his daddy shouldn't have looked at her like that, 363 00:15:20,000 --> 00:15:21,040 so, you know? 364 00:15:21,125 --> 00:15:22,075 ...'cause I don't like how you looked at me. 365 00:15:22,167 --> 00:15:23,747 Why you gotta look at me like that? 366 00:15:23,833 --> 00:15:24,793 Zondra, I apologize. 367 00:15:24,875 --> 00:15:26,205 I don't know how I'm looking at you. 368 00:15:26,042 --> 00:15:27,752 -[Zondra] Like that! -Like what? 369 00:15:27,833 --> 00:15:29,383 Oh, look! Look, he doin' it! 370 00:15:29,458 --> 00:15:30,578 [man] I'll look over here! 371 00:15:30,667 --> 00:15:31,627 Don't look at me! 372 00:15:31,708 --> 00:15:33,168 He don't know how to talk to people. 373 00:15:33,000 --> 00:15:34,750 Why you gotta be lookin' at me, white man? 374 00:15:34,833 --> 00:15:36,423 I'm not looking at anyone, if someone... 375 00:15:36,500 --> 00:15:37,380 [grunting] 376 00:15:42,458 --> 00:15:43,538 I've been stabbed! 377 00:15:43,625 --> 00:15:44,745 Blah, blah... 378 00:15:44,833 --> 00:15:46,133 Zondra, I've been stabbed. 379 00:15:46,208 --> 00:15:48,288 And I don't know what I did! 380 00:15:48,375 --> 00:15:49,995 You came in the house with six wild niggas, 381 00:15:50,083 --> 00:15:51,753 that's what you did! [laughing] 382 00:15:51,833 --> 00:15:53,583 "I'm... I'm bleeding!" 383 00:15:53,667 --> 00:15:55,917 [Chad] Hey, guys, what's going on out there? 384 00:16:01,000 --> 00:16:03,130 -[indistinct chatter] -[music playing] 385 00:16:06,083 --> 00:16:07,383 [loud chatter continues] 386 00:16:15,708 --> 00:16:17,128 Ha! I said, look... 387 00:16:18,208 --> 00:16:19,998 Enough! 388 00:16:20,083 --> 00:16:21,833 -[music stops] -[chatter stops] 389 00:16:21,917 --> 00:16:23,917 What is wrong with you people? 390 00:16:25,750 --> 00:16:28,250 Can't you be quiet for one night? 391 00:16:28,333 --> 00:16:31,713 It's 1:30 in the morning and I have to get up early 392 00:16:31,792 --> 00:16:32,962 to go to work! 393 00:16:34,417 --> 00:16:35,417 Damn it! 394 00:16:37,000 --> 00:16:40,460 Oh, this white boy's trippin', "You people?" 395 00:16:40,542 --> 00:16:42,422 What the hell you mean, "You people?" 396 00:16:42,500 --> 00:16:44,500 I think we need to have a house meeting, y'all. 397 00:16:44,583 --> 00:16:45,423 [woman] Mm-hmm. 398 00:16:45,500 --> 00:16:46,960 A'ight? 399 00:16:47,042 --> 00:16:49,082 [stomping] 400 00:16:53,083 --> 00:16:56,083 The reason why we called this house meeting is 401 00:16:56,167 --> 00:16:57,497 because we just don't feel safe with you 402 00:16:57,583 --> 00:16:58,333 in the house anymore, Chad. 403 00:16:59,042 --> 00:17:00,382 Are you serious? 404 00:17:00,458 --> 00:17:02,708 I don't feel safe. 405 00:17:02,792 --> 00:17:05,632 We feel as though you should leave, man... today. 406 00:17:05,708 --> 00:17:07,038 I should leave? 407 00:17:08,250 --> 00:17:10,790 TyRee, you... You stabbed my dad! 408 00:17:12,125 --> 00:17:13,995 And you had sex with Katie. 409 00:17:14,083 --> 00:17:16,543 Wait a minute, you got that all wrong. 410 00:17:16,625 --> 00:17:18,205 I didn't have sex with Katie. 411 00:17:19,208 --> 00:17:21,378 Lysol had sex with Katie. 412 00:17:21,458 --> 00:17:22,708 I just filmed it. 413 00:17:23,750 --> 00:17:25,000 [chuckles] No, TyRee, 414 00:17:25,083 --> 00:17:27,133 you had sex with me too. 415 00:17:27,208 --> 00:17:28,378 Correction, 416 00:17:28,458 --> 00:17:30,128 I had sex with Katie. 417 00:17:30,208 --> 00:17:31,958 And now you want me to leave? 418 00:17:34,125 --> 00:17:35,625 I mean, really, man, 419 00:17:35,708 --> 00:17:37,038 we could just fuck you up. 420 00:17:37,125 --> 00:17:40,745 But, you know, we tryin' to be, you know, congenial about this. 421 00:17:40,833 --> 00:17:42,543 But worse come to worse, 422 00:17:42,625 --> 00:17:44,375 we reserve the right to fuck you up. 423 00:17:44,458 --> 00:17:45,458 [TyRee] Fuck you up. 424 00:17:45,542 --> 00:17:46,252 Right. 425 00:17:48,042 --> 00:17:49,002 Fine, I... 426 00:17:49,875 --> 00:17:50,875 I guess, I'll go. 427 00:17:54,875 --> 00:17:56,165 Hey, Chad? 428 00:17:57,792 --> 00:18:00,002 I had sex with Katie too, man. 429 00:18:00,083 --> 00:18:02,003 [laughing] 430 00:18:02,083 --> 00:18:04,173 Katie has some big-ass titties. 431 00:18:04,250 --> 00:18:05,670 [chuckling] 432 00:18:07,708 --> 00:18:09,168 [laughing] 433 00:18:12,083 --> 00:18:14,173 [sad melancholy music] 434 00:18:25,958 --> 00:18:27,998 [music continues] 435 00:18:44,917 --> 00:18:47,207 We're gonna take a quick commercial break, 436 00:18:47,292 --> 00:18:50,002 and we'll be right back with more Chappelle's Show. 437 00:18:50,083 --> 00:18:51,213 How about that? 438 00:18:54,208 --> 00:18:56,168 ♪ The greatest show ♪ 439 00:18:57,792 --> 00:18:58,882 Now, here to reenact 440 00:18:58,958 --> 00:19:01,128 one of my favorite Real World moments, 441 00:19:01,208 --> 00:19:02,958 make some noise for my man, 442 00:19:03,042 --> 00:19:06,332 David Broom from the New Orleans' cast. 443 00:19:06,417 --> 00:19:08,167 [cheering and applauding] 444 00:19:10,167 --> 00:19:11,497 What's up, maestro? 445 00:19:14,125 --> 00:19:15,205 Take me there, son. 446 00:19:18,125 --> 00:19:19,705 -Take me there. -[piano playing] 447 00:19:20,417 --> 00:19:22,377 [Dave] Oh, so baller! 448 00:19:24,250 --> 00:19:26,080 You mind if I sing a little bit over that? 449 00:19:26,167 --> 00:19:27,247 Yeah, man, go ahead. 450 00:19:27,333 --> 00:19:29,173 Oh, yeah, you set 'em up nice, I'm gonna come in. 451 00:19:29,250 --> 00:19:30,380 I'm gonna come in... Watch how I do it. 452 00:19:32,083 --> 00:19:34,793 ♪ Squee-ba-boo Dee-ba-boo-dee ♪ 453 00:19:36,167 --> 00:19:39,957 ♪ Squee-ba-boo-dee-ba-boo-ba ♪ 454 00:19:40,042 --> 00:19:45,082 ♪ Squee-ba-boo-dee Ba-boo-squee ♪ 455 00:19:45,167 --> 00:19:49,247 ♪ Squee-ba-boo Squee-ba-boo-squee ♪ 456 00:19:49,333 --> 00:19:53,213 ♪ Squee-da-squee-do ♪ 457 00:19:53,042 --> 00:19:55,252 ♪ Squee-ah-ee-ah-ee ♪ 458 00:19:55,333 --> 00:19:56,423 ♪ Ow ♪ 459 00:19:58,167 --> 00:19:59,917 ♪ Squee-ah-ee-ah-ee ♪ 460 00:20:01,167 --> 00:20:02,917 [vocalizing] 461 00:20:03,792 --> 00:20:05,212 Aw, you lost me. 462 00:20:05,042 --> 00:20:07,042 ♪ Come on be my baby tonight ♪ 463 00:20:07,125 --> 00:20:08,205 Oh, that's monster. 464 00:20:09,000 --> 00:20:11,290 ♪ Come on be my baby tonight ♪ 465 00:20:12,958 --> 00:20:15,248 ♪ I've seen the way You've treated other thugs ♪ 466 00:20:15,333 --> 00:20:16,293 ♪ You've been with ♪ 467 00:20:16,375 --> 00:20:17,245 [Dave] She treat 'em bad, don't she? 468 00:20:17,333 --> 00:20:18,673 ♪ Come on be my baby tonight ♪ 469 00:20:18,750 --> 00:20:19,920 She treated them thugs bad. 470 00:20:20,958 --> 00:20:23,038 ♪ Come on be my baby tonight ♪ 471 00:20:24,542 --> 00:20:26,922 ♪ Come on be my baby tonight... ♪ 472 00:20:28,042 --> 00:20:30,382 Come on, you rotten bitch, be my baby! 473 00:20:30,458 --> 00:20:32,288 ♪ Other thugs you've been with ♪ 474 00:20:32,375 --> 00:20:34,575 ♪ Come on be my baby tonight ♪ 475 00:20:34,667 --> 00:20:36,167 [cheering and applauding] 476 00:20:36,000 --> 00:20:38,540 I would like to thank David Broom. 477 00:20:38,625 --> 00:20:39,955 I would like to thank you at home 478 00:20:40,042 --> 00:20:41,212 and you here in the studio. 479 00:20:41,292 --> 00:20:44,332 God bless you all, and I'll see you next week. 480 00:20:44,417 --> 00:20:45,327 I'm out. 481 00:20:45,417 --> 00:20:47,037 [cheering and applauding] 482 00:20:50,250 --> 00:20:52,710 -[Chappelle] I'm rich, biatch! -[horn honking] 483 00:20:52,792 --> 00:20:54,082 [woman] Hi, thank you. 484 00:20:59,250 --> 00:21:01,460 What you doin', girl? 485 00:21:01,542 --> 00:21:03,882 Huh? What you mean, what am I talkin' about, girl? 486 00:21:03,958 --> 00:21:05,208 You know what I'm talkin' about. 487 00:21:06,208 --> 00:21:07,708 Come over here so I can stick my chocolate 488 00:21:07,792 --> 00:21:09,582 in your peanut butter. 489 00:21:09,667 --> 00:21:11,957 [laughing] 490 00:21:12,042 --> 00:21:12,792 What? 491 00:21:13,417 --> 00:21:14,877 Oh, I'm sorry... 492 00:21:14,958 --> 00:21:16,918 No, no, pardon me, miss, I... 493 00:21:17,000 --> 00:21:18,790 I understand, I didn't know it was an emergency. 494 00:21:18,875 --> 00:21:19,955 Bitch, I'm tellin' ya! 495 00:21:20,042 --> 00:21:21,672 I didn't know it was an emergency, I'm sorry! 496 00:21:21,750 --> 00:21:23,040 Alright! Hmm. 497 00:21:23,125 --> 00:21:24,955 Chad, it's your moms. 498 00:21:25,042 --> 00:21:26,172 She say something wrong with you grandmother. 499 00:21:26,250 --> 00:21:28,130 She dead or something, my fault. 500 00:21:28,208 --> 00:21:29,128 -Mommy? -[Dave] Bitch 501 00:21:29,178 --> 00:21:33,728 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 36052

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