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Previously on Bob Hearts Abishola...
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Nigeria will be good for you.
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I will miss you.
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You have the best of both worlds.
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Six months with your father,
and six months with me.
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* Yeah, and if you tell
me say make I bend low *
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* I no go waste time,
but to do like so... *
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This is so much better
than my first wedding.
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Mine, too.
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Did we just lose power?
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Welcome to Nigeria, Bob.
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Up Nepa!
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_
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Eh-eh! Why are we going
through downtown?
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Listen well well.
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You should be on I-94. No wahala.
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What?
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Stick to 94.
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"Johnny Just-Come" over here.
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I see my country has rubbed off on you.
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It's my new favorite place.
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It's where I married the love
of my life, and I found out
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I could wear the hell out of a dashiki.
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It does suit you.
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You know, the wedding
was not how we planned it,
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- but it was still perfect.
- Mm.
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I think your dad liked me.
He even hugged me goodbye.
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That is one more hug
than I have ever gotten.
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Come on.
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My mother said, when I was born,
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he shook my hand.
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I am so tired,
I just want to go to sleep.
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The best part of every trip is
getting home to your own bed.
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My own bed.
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Nice and firm, help out my back.
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So soft I can sink into it.
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My light cotton sheets.
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My heavy, weighted blanket.
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Like sleeping on a cloud.
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Like sleeping in a cozy grave.
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You know, we have our whole
lives to sleep together.
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What are you saying?
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Abishola, my wife,
would you do me the honor of sleeping
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in your own bed tonight so
that I can sleep in mine
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and spread out like a starfish?
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Oh, I will.
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I love you so much.
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Eh-eh, two stops, Uncle.
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Uncle?
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You want me to call you something else?
'Cause I will.
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_
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E Karo, Auntie and Uncle.
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- Did you spend the night here?
- Yes.
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00:03:02,615 --> 00:03:04,882
- Without Bob?
- Yes.
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What did you do?
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00:03:07,821 --> 00:03:09,988
- Was there a fight?
- Did you hit him?
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No. Bob and I just wanted to
spend the night in our own beds.
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Oluwa mi o. What will the neighbors say?
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The neighbors will not know.
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They will when she tells them.
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Am I supposed to talk about the weather?
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My niece's marriage is falling apart.
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Abishola,
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you understand that we
care about you very much.
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I do.
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So know this comes from a place of love.
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Leave this apartment
and never come back.
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Do not make us spend money
on changing the locks.
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It is just one night.
Maybe two. I slept so soundly.
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Call the locksmith.
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_
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There's the happy couple.
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- Welcome home.
- Thank you.
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I'll warn you, it's a lot different
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knowing you can't leave.
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Where should I put this?
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Anywhere you want.
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Okay.
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00:04:05,209 --> 00:04:07,643
- How come she gets a lamp?
- What?
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00:04:07,745 --> 00:04:09,144
When you forced me to move in,
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00:04:09,246 --> 00:04:11,581
I wasn't allowed to bring
any personal effects.
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You didn't let her bring anything?
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I let her move into my home.
I built you a gym!
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I didn't ask for that torture chamber.
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Your torture chamber is one room.
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Mine was my whole childhood.
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Give it a rest, will ya?!
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Please stop fighting.
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- What do you mean?
- Yeah, we're just talking.
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I'll let you two settle in.
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Honey, I'm so happy you're here.
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So am I.
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If you need me, I'll be in my cell.
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My yard time is up.
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I'm the one in prison.
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00:04:38,976 --> 00:04:41,142
I'll see you at dinner!
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00:04:41,244 --> 00:04:43,044
- We're having steak!
- Again?!
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00:04:43,880 --> 00:04:45,780
Let's get you unpacked.
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00:04:47,252 --> 00:04:50,148
_
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00:04:53,589 --> 00:04:54,822
Here you go.
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00:04:56,066 --> 00:04:58,025
"Welcome to the Number Two Club"?
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00:04:58,127 --> 00:05:01,895
Husband number two. Same as us.
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00:05:01,998 --> 00:05:03,463
That is the card I signed?
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00:05:03,565 --> 00:05:06,399
Yes. You got a dead husband
and a serious boyfriend.
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00:05:06,502 --> 00:05:07,935
You're an honorary member.
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00:05:08,037 --> 00:05:10,771
Do not put me in your failure club.
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You two are divorced,
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while my dear husband was
tragically taken from me.
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"Dear husband"? You hated him.
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But I suffered through it to the end.
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00:05:20,149 --> 00:05:21,848
Which is why I will be going to heaven,
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00:05:21,950 --> 00:05:25,652
while you both are... iffy.
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Well, I'm happy for you.
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I am happy for me, too.
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I never thought I would
get married again.
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He wooed you with socks.
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00:05:35,096 --> 00:05:37,363
What woman can resist that?
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And now we are building a home together.
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- Is there a prenup?
- No.
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00:05:43,171 --> 00:05:46,839
Then it really is your home.
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_
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Doesn't get more domestic
than this, huh?
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Next we'll be getting a dog.
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We are not getting a dog.
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Never say never.
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00:06:01,422 --> 00:06:02,821
Never.
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00:06:04,325 --> 00:06:07,759
Here it is. This is the couch I wanted.
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00:06:07,861 --> 00:06:10,696
- Wow.
- I know.
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00:06:10,798 --> 00:06:12,030
That's why we had to get here
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00:06:12,132 --> 00:06:13,599
before someone else snapped it up.
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00:06:13,701 --> 00:06:17,303
Well, looks like we beat the rush.
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00:06:17,405 --> 00:06:18,437
Isn't it elegant?
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00:06:18,967 --> 00:06:22,007
Sure. That's one word for it.
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00:06:22,910 --> 00:06:25,244
You have to move back.
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00:06:29,517 --> 00:06:30,648
What do you think?
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I kinda feel like a toddler.
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You don't like it.
138
00:06:35,189 --> 00:06:36,888
No, it's not that I don't like it.
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00:06:36,990 --> 00:06:39,124
It's just maybe we
could look at something
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00:06:39,226 --> 00:06:42,828
that's more traditionally... sittable.
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00:06:48,427 --> 00:06:49,501
Elegant.
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00:06:53,907 --> 00:06:55,473
Stuck the landing!
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00:06:56,832 --> 00:06:59,611
Hold on, what do we have here?
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00:06:59,713 --> 00:07:01,747
Now, yours may be elegant,
145
00:07:01,849 --> 00:07:04,949
but this one has cupholders.
146
00:07:06,519 --> 00:07:09,554
I have always dreamt
of a couch like this.
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00:07:09,656 --> 00:07:11,021
You know, when I was 23,
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00:07:11,124 --> 00:07:13,190
I studied for a semester in Morocco.
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00:07:13,293 --> 00:07:15,226
- I didn't know that.
- Mm-hmm.
150
00:07:15,328 --> 00:07:16,861
I lived with two friends over a caf�
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00:07:16,963 --> 00:07:18,763
that had something similar.
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Okay, now, somebody was thinkin'.
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Tell me more about that place.
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It was beautiful.
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00:07:25,872 --> 00:07:28,033
The owners knew I could not afford much,
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so they would let me sit
with one coffee for hours,
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just watching people.
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Ah...
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Bob!
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Coffee, Morocco. I'm listening.
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_
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The holes were not in this
wall when you moved in.
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00:08:01,419 --> 00:08:04,121
That is where I hung the
picture of you and Auntie.
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00:08:04,172 --> 00:08:05,581
I see.
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00:08:07,059 --> 00:08:10,693
You never smoked,
painted or had a cat in here, correct?
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00:08:10,795 --> 00:08:12,628
Uncle, you know I did not.
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00:08:12,730 --> 00:08:15,131
Uh-huh.
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00:08:16,001 --> 00:08:17,668
This is for you.
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00:08:17,757 --> 00:08:19,502
My recipe for ogbono soup.
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00:08:19,595 --> 00:08:22,772
Ah. You said you would only give
this to me on your deathbed.
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No, I said after death,
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I would tell it to you in a dream.
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But I want you to have it now.
So that you and Bob
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can enjoy a family
meal in your new home.
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00:08:34,286 --> 00:08:36,652
You and Uncle have been such a blessing.
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00:08:36,754 --> 00:08:38,455
I don't know what I'd have
done if you hadn't let
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Dele and I stay here.
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I cannot thank you enough.
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00:08:41,626 --> 00:08:45,194
You do not have to. We are your family.
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Here is your full security deposit.
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00:08:51,168 --> 00:08:52,568
- Uncle, no...
- Eh...
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Let him do this.
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00:08:55,213 --> 00:08:57,439
The wall damage is superficial.
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00:08:57,542 --> 00:08:59,609
And besides, after I plaster over it,
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it will be like you were never here.
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Thank you.
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00:09:05,984 --> 00:09:09,051
You are a wonderful niece...
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and an even better tenant.
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00:09:16,617 --> 00:09:18,995
All right, uh, let's set it right there.
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00:09:19,096 --> 00:09:21,630
Ah, this is a nice couch.
191
00:09:21,732 --> 00:09:24,500
I am sorry your wife is
making you get rid of it.
192
00:09:24,601 --> 00:09:26,768
Oh, no, she's not making me.
I wanted to shake things up.
193
00:09:26,870 --> 00:09:31,106
Oh, it was kind of her to let
you think it was your idea.
194
00:09:31,208 --> 00:09:32,374
It was my idea.
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00:09:32,476 --> 00:09:34,769
Yes. And it was my idea
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00:09:34,804 --> 00:09:36,178
to let my wife have both closets
197
00:09:36,280 --> 00:09:39,048
while I keep my clothes
under the stairs.
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00:09:39,150 --> 00:09:40,916
Kofo, back me up here.
199
00:09:41,018 --> 00:09:43,018
I am sorry, Mr. Wheeler,
but I barely know anything
200
00:09:43,120 --> 00:09:44,586
about you and your wife.
201
00:09:44,688 --> 00:09:47,189
He is still upset we did not
get to attend your wedding.
202
00:09:47,291 --> 00:09:49,158
Again, I am sorry about that.
203
00:09:49,260 --> 00:09:50,692
No need to apologize.
204
00:09:50,794 --> 00:09:53,728
I am just one of your many
insignificant employees.
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00:09:55,366 --> 00:09:56,931
Look, after we get the place
how we want it,
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00:09:57,033 --> 00:09:58,199
we're gonna have a little get-together
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00:09:58,301 --> 00:09:59,434
for friends and family.
208
00:09:59,536 --> 00:10:01,735
Well, I hope your friends and family
209
00:10:01,837 --> 00:10:03,404
have a wonderful time.
210
00:10:03,506 --> 00:10:05,739
No, you guys are invited.
211
00:10:05,841 --> 00:10:08,176
- So just anyone can come.
- Listen,
212
00:10:08,278 --> 00:10:09,544
I want you two there.
213
00:10:09,645 --> 00:10:11,679
It'll be a housewarming/wedding party
214
00:10:11,781 --> 00:10:13,747
for all the folks who
couldn't make it to Lagos.
215
00:10:13,849 --> 00:10:15,550
So a lot of people could not make it?
216
00:10:15,651 --> 00:10:19,287
Well, there was you guys, and Gloria,
217
00:10:19,389 --> 00:10:20,555
Abishola's nurse friend.
218
00:10:20,656 --> 00:10:22,390
So she was not invited either?
219
00:10:25,995 --> 00:10:27,261
I'm not gonna insult you
220
00:10:27,363 --> 00:10:29,263
by beating around the bush; she was.
221
00:10:31,501 --> 00:10:34,934
Perhaps that is one bush you
should have beaten around.
222
00:10:36,257 --> 00:10:38,507
_
223
00:10:42,377 --> 00:10:44,177
Abishola and I want to thank you all
224
00:10:44,279 --> 00:10:46,246
for coming to celebrate our wedding.
225
00:10:46,348 --> 00:10:49,515
Yes, we are so happy to
share this wonderful occasion
226
00:10:49,618 --> 00:10:51,250
in our beautiful home.
227
00:10:51,352 --> 00:10:54,186
We thought it was very important
to have a party here in Detroit,
228
00:10:54,288 --> 00:10:56,723
especially for those of you who
couldn't make it to Nigeria.
229
00:10:56,825 --> 00:10:59,659
- Or were not invited.
- You're here now!
230
00:10:59,761 --> 00:11:04,597
Please, eat, drink,
and above all, do not spill.
231
00:11:05,635 --> 00:11:07,233
- I'd like to say something.
- Sure.
232
00:11:07,335 --> 00:11:10,003
What the hell happened to your house?
233
00:11:14,475 --> 00:11:15,608
You are being rude.
234
00:11:15,710 --> 00:11:18,610
- Why don't you mingle?
- I cannot.
235
00:11:18,712 --> 00:11:23,215
I am being swallowed by
this Moroccan monster.
236
00:11:23,225 --> 00:11:25,150
I will do it.
237
00:11:25,252 --> 00:11:26,952
Okay...
238
00:11:33,460 --> 00:11:36,662
Okay, we will mingle from here.
239
00:11:39,366 --> 00:11:41,833
Douglas, you gotta take your shoes off.
240
00:11:41,935 --> 00:11:43,635
Didn't you see the
sign by the front door?
241
00:11:43,737 --> 00:11:45,637
I didn't think that meant me.
242
00:11:45,739 --> 00:11:47,572
Take 'em off.
They're not messing around.
243
00:11:47,675 --> 00:11:50,675
I had to roll my wheels
over a wet towel.
244
00:11:51,171 --> 00:11:53,178
Well, I think we did a great job here.
245
00:11:53,235 --> 00:11:54,846
Oh, did "we"?
246
00:11:54,847 --> 00:11:56,113
Yeah, we went out furniture shopping,
247
00:11:56,215 --> 00:11:59,884
got poufs, rugs, the whole shebang.
Together.
248
00:11:59,986 --> 00:12:01,919
I love it. I feel like I'm in
249
00:12:02,021 --> 00:12:04,322
a bustling marketplace in Marrakesh.
250
00:12:04,424 --> 00:12:06,324
That's exactly what we were going for.
251
00:12:06,426 --> 00:12:08,192
Ugh. "We."
252
00:12:11,319 --> 00:12:12,623
_
253
00:12:13,124 --> 00:12:16,030
_
254
00:12:16,031 --> 00:12:17,745
_
255
00:12:18,571 --> 00:12:20,223
Where's the TV?
256
00:12:20,258 --> 00:12:22,038
She removed it,
along with Bob's testicles.
257
00:12:22,140 --> 00:12:25,041
- Oh! Oh, hey, Bob.
- Hey, Bob.
258
00:12:25,143 --> 00:12:27,828
- How's it going over here?
- Wonderful.
259
00:12:27,863 --> 00:12:29,746
I love what you've done with the place.
260
00:12:29,848 --> 00:12:31,351
Very masculine.
261
00:12:31,386 --> 00:12:32,957
I brought my swimsuit.
262
00:12:32,992 --> 00:12:35,128
We gonna crank up that
hot tub a little later?
263
00:12:35,163 --> 00:12:37,174
Gloria, it is a cocktail party.
264
00:12:37,209 --> 00:12:41,891
Oh, you're right, a few more of these,
who needs a suit?
265
00:12:44,585 --> 00:12:45,995
I'd like to make a toast.
266
00:12:50,001 --> 00:12:52,234
Everyone, I'd like to make a toast.
267
00:12:55,209 --> 00:12:56,238
Hello?
268
00:13:02,318 --> 00:13:04,573
_
269
00:13:05,511 --> 00:13:06,882
Get back to the party.
270
00:13:07,234 --> 00:13:10,035
Dude, there's not even a TV
in there anymore. It's sad.
271
00:13:10,137 --> 00:13:12,071
I told Abishola to
make the place her own,
272
00:13:12,172 --> 00:13:13,538
and that's what she did.
273
00:13:13,641 --> 00:13:15,273
The fact that you don't
know how sad it is
274
00:13:15,375 --> 00:13:17,309
makes it even more sad.
275
00:13:17,411 --> 00:13:19,211
It's a small change
in order for Abishola
276
00:13:19,313 --> 00:13:20,345
to feel happy here.
277
00:13:20,347 --> 00:13:21,413
She's excited, Douglas.
278
00:13:21,515 --> 00:13:22,915
Do you ever see her excited?
279
00:13:23,017 --> 00:13:25,851
Okay, what about you?
Do you like how it looks?
280
00:13:25,953 --> 00:13:27,319
No, I hate it.
281
00:13:27,421 --> 00:13:30,122
All the furniture is either
too small or too big.
282
00:13:30,224 --> 00:13:31,923
Then why did you change it?
283
00:13:32,025 --> 00:13:33,525
Because I love my wife.
284
00:13:33,627 --> 00:13:34,826
Ugh.
285
00:13:34,928 --> 00:13:37,262
Douglas, there are more
important things in life
286
00:13:37,364 --> 00:13:39,598
than my happiness or my comfort.
287
00:13:39,699 --> 00:13:41,500
Okay, what about
my happiness and comfort?
288
00:13:41,602 --> 00:13:43,135
Where am I supposed
to go after a long day
289
00:13:43,237 --> 00:13:45,370
to unwind and relax?
290
00:13:46,173 --> 00:13:47,539
Your own house!
291
00:13:48,042 --> 00:13:49,807
It may come to that.
292
00:13:51,678 --> 00:13:53,711
So, is this your first party in America?
293
00:13:53,813 --> 00:13:54,912
Yes, it is.
294
00:13:55,015 --> 00:13:58,816
Well, don't worry,
they are not all like this.
295
00:14:00,220 --> 00:14:02,154
- Here you go, love.
- Oh, thank you.
296
00:14:02,250 --> 00:14:05,289
Oh, we have not met. I am Chukwuemeka.
297
00:14:05,391 --> 00:14:07,424
This is Morenike, a cousin of Abishola's
298
00:14:07,527 --> 00:14:08,559
staying with her family.
299
00:14:08,561 --> 00:14:10,161
It is wonderful to meet you.
300
00:14:10,263 --> 00:14:11,495
You as well.
301
00:14:11,597 --> 00:14:13,230
- Are you a student?
- Yes.
302
00:14:13,332 --> 00:14:14,532
At Wayne State.
303
00:14:14,634 --> 00:14:16,034
I went to Wayne State.
304
00:14:16,136 --> 00:14:18,102
I am studying to become a pharmacist.
305
00:14:18,724 --> 00:14:20,237
You are kidding.
306
00:14:20,339 --> 00:14:21,372
I am a pharmacist.
307
00:14:21,474 --> 00:14:22,907
It must be fate that we met.
308
00:14:23,748 --> 00:14:25,877
Yes, what are the odds you would meet
309
00:14:25,979 --> 00:14:28,813
another failed doctor?
310
00:14:30,283 --> 00:14:33,718
Oh, I think you're supposed to
use a coaster for the glasses.
311
00:14:35,321 --> 00:14:37,821
No need.
312
00:14:39,225 --> 00:14:41,392
This is a lovely party.
313
00:14:42,197 --> 00:14:44,595
You don't get out much, do you?
314
00:14:45,398 --> 00:14:46,863
Where is Bob? Where is everybody?
315
00:14:46,965 --> 00:14:51,402
Sweetheart, you know I love you,
but you threw a dud.
316
00:14:51,502 --> 00:14:52,503
A dud?
317
00:14:52,505 --> 00:14:53,770
No, don't listen to her.
318
00:14:54,442 --> 00:14:56,440
I'm so proud of you for doing this.
319
00:14:56,542 --> 00:14:58,775
Usually you have your walls up.
320
00:14:58,877 --> 00:15:01,345
You know, fortress Abishola.
321
00:15:01,815 --> 00:15:04,981
But today you let us deep inside you.
322
00:15:05,084 --> 00:15:07,017
And I like it.
323
00:15:08,921 --> 00:15:13,723
Dud. D-U-D.
324
00:15:15,660 --> 00:15:17,960
* That home out on the range... *
325
00:15:18,062 --> 00:15:20,730
I'd like to take you all on
a little trip to "La Grange."
326
00:15:20,832 --> 00:15:23,299
Rest in peace, Dusty Hill.
327
00:15:23,401 --> 00:15:25,668
Oh, here we go. Now it's a party!
328
00:15:26,283 --> 00:15:28,771
- Beer?
- Right here.
329
00:15:31,114 --> 00:15:33,142
- * How, how, how, how *
- * How, how, how *
330
00:15:33,245 --> 00:15:35,044
* How, how, how! *
331
00:15:35,146 --> 00:15:36,713
Uh-oh.
332
00:15:38,609 --> 00:15:40,250
Great party. I love
what you've done with the place.
333
00:15:40,352 --> 00:15:42,318
I'm gonna go check the
temperature on the hot tub.
334
00:15:42,420 --> 00:15:45,053
Have mercy on him.
335
00:15:48,325 --> 00:15:50,525
I'm sorry.
336
00:15:52,028 --> 00:15:54,062
Hey. Talk to me.
337
00:15:54,164 --> 00:15:55,930
This party is a disaster.
338
00:15:56,032 --> 00:15:57,033
No, it isn't.
339
00:15:57,134 --> 00:15:59,334
Yes, it is. Everybody hates everything.
340
00:15:59,436 --> 00:16:00,935
I thought Auntie would
like the new chair.
341
00:16:01,037 --> 00:16:02,046
It's her favorite color.
342
00:16:02,139 --> 00:16:03,572
What makes you think she doesn't?
343
00:16:03,674 --> 00:16:06,341
She said, "I do not like that chair."
344
00:16:07,318 --> 00:16:09,077
- Well, do you like it?
- Yes.
345
00:16:09,179 --> 00:16:12,847
Well, then sorry,
Auntie, the chair stays.
346
00:16:12,949 --> 00:16:16,652
It is not just Auntie. I threw a dud.
347
00:16:17,486 --> 00:16:18,786
Maybe I am the dud.
348
00:16:19,644 --> 00:16:23,157
Okay, first of all,
you didn't throw a dud.
349
00:16:23,259 --> 00:16:24,625
We threw a dud.
350
00:16:24,727 --> 00:16:26,327
You don't get to take all the credit.
351
00:16:26,429 --> 00:16:30,698
- You are right. The party was your idea.
- There you go.
352
00:16:30,800 --> 00:16:32,065
What's the point in being married
353
00:16:32,168 --> 00:16:34,502
if you can't blame stuff on your spouse?
354
00:16:34,604 --> 00:16:36,837
Forget about the party.
355
00:16:36,939 --> 00:16:39,006
When you walk in the living room,
356
00:16:39,108 --> 00:16:41,575
does it feel like our home?
357
00:16:42,378 --> 00:16:43,644
Yes.
358
00:16:43,746 --> 00:16:45,713
Then that's all that matters.
359
00:16:46,516 --> 00:16:48,416
I do want to change one thing.
360
00:16:48,518 --> 00:16:50,050
What's that?
361
00:16:50,152 --> 00:16:52,619
I think we need a TV in the living room.
362
00:16:52,721 --> 00:16:55,388
I love you so much.
363
00:16:55,995 --> 00:16:57,924
There you are!
364
00:16:58,026 --> 00:17:00,893
Abishola needs to change
me for the hot tub.
365
00:17:08,648 --> 00:17:12,133
There she is,
the Eighth Wonder of the World.
366
00:17:12,235 --> 00:17:13,835
Mr. Wheeler, we cannot accept this.
367
00:17:13,875 --> 00:17:17,005
No, no. Come on. Seriously.
I want you to have this.
368
00:17:17,107 --> 00:17:19,875
You guys looked after the
company for me while I was gone,
369
00:17:19,977 --> 00:17:22,477
and you deserve to be
rewarded for your efforts.
370
00:17:22,579 --> 00:17:24,579
Go ahead, try it out.
371
00:17:26,116 --> 00:17:28,017
Oh, my.
372
00:17:28,029 --> 00:17:31,653
It's like a cloud is
embracing me from below.
373
00:17:32,150 --> 00:17:34,189
Furniture like this
helps me to understand
374
00:17:34,254 --> 00:17:36,157
how Americans have become so lazy.
375
00:17:36,959 --> 00:17:40,395
Who would get up from
this to go to work?
376
00:17:40,497 --> 00:17:42,397
Right? Now check this out.
377
00:17:42,689 --> 00:17:45,266
Oh...
378
00:17:45,368 --> 00:17:47,035
Ah...
379
00:17:47,137 --> 00:17:50,071
God bless America.
380
00:18:17,926 --> 00:18:20,518
- synced and corrected by sot26 -
www.addic7ed.com
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