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1
00:00:02,036 --> 00:00:03,604
(George Michael's "Faith"
playing)
2
00:00:03,637 --> 00:00:05,606
(tape rewinding)
3
00:00:05,639 --> 00:00:08,042
* Faith, faith, faith
4
00:00:08,076 --> 00:00:09,377
* Baby
5
00:00:09,410 --> 00:00:12,213
* I know you're
asking me to stay *
6
00:00:12,246 --> 00:00:14,482
* Say please, please,
please don't go away *
7
00:00:14,515 --> 00:00:16,717
* You say I'm giving you
the blues *
8
00:00:16,750 --> 00:00:18,619
* Maybe
9
00:00:18,652 --> 00:00:19,653
* Huh!
10
00:00:19,687 --> 00:00:21,122
* You mean
11
00:00:21,155 --> 00:00:22,323
* Every word you say
(popping loudly)
12
00:00:22,356 --> 00:00:23,624
* Can't help but think *
13
00:00:23,657 --> 00:00:24,758
* Of yesterday
14
00:00:24,792 --> 00:00:26,560
* And another who tied me down
15
00:00:26,594 --> 00:00:28,162
* To lover boy rules...
16
00:00:28,196 --> 00:00:30,364
ADULT SHELDON:
My father took pride in saying
17
00:00:30,398 --> 00:00:32,700
that he ran our house
like a tight ship.
18
00:00:32,733 --> 00:00:35,069
The ship got a lot looser when
19
00:00:35,103 --> 00:00:37,805
my meemaw came over
to babysit.
(firecracker pops)
20
00:00:37,838 --> 00:00:41,375
I bet a nickel.
21
00:00:41,409 --> 00:00:43,411
Hang on there a minute,
moon pie.
22
00:00:43,444 --> 00:00:45,446
I want to teach
you somethin'.
23
00:00:45,479 --> 00:00:46,414
Look at your cards,
24
00:00:46,447 --> 00:00:48,449
and then look
in the mirror.
25
00:00:48,482 --> 00:00:50,151
Hey, I'm smiling.
26
00:00:50,184 --> 00:00:51,152
(firecracker pops)
Uh-huh.
27
00:00:51,185 --> 00:00:52,153
And what does that
28
00:00:52,186 --> 00:00:54,255
tell me about your cards?
29
00:00:54,288 --> 00:00:55,656
That I like them?
30
00:00:55,689 --> 00:00:57,425
Attaboy. Now...
31
00:00:57,458 --> 00:00:59,160
look at my face.
32
00:00:59,193 --> 00:01:00,561
(firecracker pops)
Tell me
33
00:01:00,594 --> 00:01:01,862
what you see.
34
00:01:01,895 --> 00:01:03,164
That you're old.
35
00:01:03,197 --> 00:01:05,166
It's a good thing I love you.
36
00:01:05,199 --> 00:01:07,635
(firecracker pops)
I'm gonna look at
my cards again.
37
00:01:09,737 --> 00:01:10,871
You're unhappy.
38
00:01:10,904 --> 00:01:12,440
Which means...?
39
00:01:12,473 --> 00:01:14,175
You don't have good cards.
40
00:01:14,208 --> 00:01:15,409
Mm-hmm.
(firecracker pops)
41
00:01:16,477 --> 00:01:17,445
So...
42
00:01:17,478 --> 00:01:20,214
I'm gonna see
your nickel...
43
00:01:20,248 --> 00:01:22,683
and raise you
a quarter.
Quarter?
44
00:01:22,716 --> 00:01:24,218
You can fold.
45
00:01:24,252 --> 00:01:27,455
No. I have good cards;
you have bad cards.
46
00:01:27,488 --> 00:01:28,722
I'm in.
47
00:01:28,756 --> 00:01:31,459
Nines and fives.
Mm.
48
00:01:31,492 --> 00:01:33,594
That's too bad.
49
00:01:33,627 --> 00:01:35,729
Three queens. You lose!
50
00:01:35,763 --> 00:01:37,331
(laughing)
What?
51
00:01:37,365 --> 00:01:38,899
But you weren't happy.
52
00:01:38,932 --> 00:01:41,235
I made you think
I was unhappy.
But that's lying.
53
00:01:41,269 --> 00:01:43,704
You lied to your moon pie.
54
00:01:43,737 --> 00:01:45,673
I bluffed my moon pie.
55
00:01:47,775 --> 00:01:50,244
Do people know about this?
Sheldon,
56
00:01:50,278 --> 00:01:51,545
what's on a person's face
57
00:01:51,579 --> 00:01:54,348
is not always
what's in their heart.
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00:01:54,382 --> 00:01:56,217
Well, this changes everything.
59
00:01:56,250 --> 00:01:58,219
How do you know who to trust?
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00:01:58,252 --> 00:01:59,620
You don't.
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00:01:59,653 --> 00:02:02,256
That's what makes life
interesting.
62
00:02:02,290 --> 00:02:05,826
ADULT SHELDON:
Meemaw liked to teach me things
that kept me awake at night.
63
00:02:05,859 --> 00:02:07,395
MARY:
Mom, we're home!
64
00:02:07,428 --> 00:02:08,862
In here!
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00:02:08,896 --> 00:02:10,631
What's he doing up?
66
00:02:10,664 --> 00:02:11,799
Losin'.
67
00:02:11,832 --> 00:02:13,234
(firecracker pops)
68
00:02:13,267 --> 00:02:14,635
Hell is that?
69
00:02:14,668 --> 00:02:16,237
I sent Georgie
on a beer run,
70
00:02:16,270 --> 00:02:18,372
and tipped him
with firecrackers.
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00:02:18,406 --> 00:02:19,307
Oh, Mom.
72
00:02:19,340 --> 00:02:21,242
(door opens)
Was I supposed to stiff him?
73
00:02:21,275 --> 00:02:22,243
(door closes)
74
00:02:22,276 --> 00:02:25,679
I ate so much candy!
75
00:02:27,448 --> 00:02:29,383
Okay.
76
00:02:29,417 --> 00:02:31,252
They're all yours.
77
00:02:31,285 --> 00:02:32,853
(chuckles)
78
00:02:32,886 --> 00:02:34,422
(firecracker pops)
79
00:02:34,455 --> 00:02:37,258
* Faith, faith, faith.
(groans)
80
00:02:37,291 --> 00:02:40,261
* Nobody else
is stronger than I am *
81
00:02:40,294 --> 00:02:42,963
* Yesterday I moved a mountain
82
00:02:42,996 --> 00:02:45,433
* I bet I could be your hero
83
00:02:45,466 --> 00:02:47,901
* I am a mighty little man
84
00:02:47,935 --> 00:02:51,539
* I am a mighty little man. *
85
00:02:57,578 --> 00:02:59,413
Sometimes people say to me,
"Pastor Jeff,
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00:02:59,447 --> 00:03:01,282
how do you know there's a God?"
87
00:03:01,315 --> 00:03:03,451
And I say, "It's simple math.
88
00:03:03,484 --> 00:03:05,919
God either exists
or he doesn't."
89
00:03:05,953 --> 00:03:07,555
(chuckles):
So let's be cynical.
90
00:03:07,588 --> 00:03:10,691
Worst-case scenario,
there's a 50-50 chance.
91
00:03:10,724 --> 00:03:12,760
And I like those odds.
92
00:03:12,793 --> 00:03:14,295
That's wrong.
93
00:03:14,328 --> 00:03:16,397
Shelly,
put your hand down.
94
00:03:16,430 --> 00:03:17,798
Sorry. Please continue.
95
00:03:17,831 --> 00:03:18,999
(chuckles)
It's okay, Mary.
96
00:03:19,032 --> 00:03:21,369
I-It's Sheldon, right?
97
00:03:21,402 --> 00:03:23,237
Yes, sir.
Well, Sheldon,
98
00:03:23,271 --> 00:03:25,773
why don't you come on up here
and tell me how I'm wrong.
99
00:03:25,806 --> 00:03:27,441
No.
Okay.
100
00:03:27,475 --> 00:03:29,810
(chuckles) Let's give him
a hand, everybody.
101
00:03:29,843 --> 00:03:32,680
Mm. What's happening?
102
00:03:39,019 --> 00:03:40,921
Shelly's gonna eat him
alive. (chuckles)
103
00:03:40,954 --> 00:03:42,556
PASTOR JEFF:
So...
104
00:03:42,590 --> 00:03:43,691
you were saying?
105
00:03:43,724 --> 00:03:46,594
You've confused possibilities
with probabilities.
106
00:03:46,627 --> 00:03:48,562
According to your analogy,
when I go home
107
00:03:48,596 --> 00:03:51,499
I might find a million dollars
on my bed or I might not.
108
00:03:51,532 --> 00:03:53,867
In what universe
is that 50-50?
109
00:03:53,901 --> 00:03:55,002
(congregation murmuring)
110
00:03:55,035 --> 00:03:56,470
PASTOR JEFF:
So what do you think
111
00:03:56,504 --> 00:03:58,739
the odds are
that God exists?
112
00:03:58,772 --> 00:04:00,374
I think they're zero.
113
00:04:00,408 --> 00:04:01,975
I believe in science.
114
00:04:02,009 --> 00:04:03,444
(congregation ooh'ing,
murmuring)
115
00:04:03,477 --> 00:04:04,645
PASTOR JEFF:
So you don't think
116
00:04:04,678 --> 00:04:07,481
science and religion
can go hand in hand?
117
00:04:07,515 --> 00:04:10,351
Science is facts,
religion is faith.
118
00:04:10,384 --> 00:04:12,052
I prefer facts.
Mm.
119
00:04:12,085 --> 00:04:13,787
I understand that.
120
00:04:13,821 --> 00:04:15,423
Here's a cool fact for ya.
121
00:04:15,456 --> 00:04:17,024
A lot of famous scientists
122
00:04:17,057 --> 00:04:18,759
believed in God.
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00:04:18,792 --> 00:04:20,060
Isaac Newton.
124
00:04:20,093 --> 00:04:21,629
Albert Einstein.
125
00:04:21,662 --> 00:04:23,564
Even Charles Darwin.
126
00:04:23,597 --> 00:04:25,533
(congregation ah'ing)
127
00:04:25,566 --> 00:04:28,769
So Darwin's right about God
and wrong about evolution?
128
00:04:28,802 --> 00:04:30,371
Now you're gettin' it.
129
00:04:30,404 --> 00:04:31,972
Let's give it up
for Sheldon, everybody.
130
00:04:32,005 --> 00:04:34,074
What a good sport. Oh.
131
00:04:34,107 --> 00:04:35,909
(organ playing)
132
00:04:35,943 --> 00:04:38,612
ADULT SHELDON:
But I wasn't a good sport.
133
00:04:38,646 --> 00:04:40,514
At that moment,
I vowed to come back
134
00:04:40,548 --> 00:04:44,685
the following Sunday
and destroy Pastor Jeff.
135
00:04:44,718 --> 00:04:46,454
(knocking)
136
00:04:53,994 --> 00:04:55,996
Uh, hello, Mr. Cooper.
137
00:04:56,029 --> 00:04:57,365
Is Missy home?
138
00:04:57,398 --> 00:05:01,068
Hello, Billy.
No, she's at church.
139
00:05:01,101 --> 00:05:03,771
I brought her eggs
from my chickens.
140
00:05:03,804 --> 00:05:05,539
I see that.
141
00:05:05,573 --> 00:05:08,709
You can boil them
or scramble them.
142
00:05:09,810 --> 00:05:11,379
Okay.
143
00:05:12,413 --> 00:05:14,648
I like fried.
144
00:05:14,682 --> 00:05:16,884
Okay.
145
00:05:17,985 --> 00:05:20,754
I don't like poached.
146
00:05:21,855 --> 00:05:23,624
Okay.
147
00:05:25,058 --> 00:05:27,361
Thank you for your time.
148
00:05:31,832 --> 00:05:34,502
Okay.
149
00:05:34,535 --> 00:05:37,538
MARY: You want me to cook
those eggs for you, baby?
150
00:05:37,571 --> 00:05:39,607
No. They're a gift.
151
00:05:39,640 --> 00:05:41,141
Sorry.
152
00:05:41,174 --> 00:05:42,810
He even wrote me a note.
153
00:05:42,843 --> 00:05:46,814
"Eggs from your
secret admirer. Billy."
154
00:05:46,847 --> 00:05:48,816
GEORGE SR. (calls):
Mary, can you come in here?
155
00:05:48,849 --> 00:05:50,117
I'm cookin'.
156
00:05:50,150 --> 00:05:52,453
I really need you
to come in here.
157
00:05:52,486 --> 00:05:54,522
What on earth?
158
00:05:55,956 --> 00:05:56,990
Uh-oh.
159
00:05:57,024 --> 00:05:58,125
What?
160
00:05:58,158 --> 00:05:59,727
Listen to this.
161
00:05:59,760 --> 00:06:01,695
"French philosopher,
162
00:06:01,729 --> 00:06:04,532
"mathematician and physicist,
Blaise Pascal,
163
00:06:04,565 --> 00:06:07,868
"argued a rational person
should believe God exists
164
00:06:07,901 --> 00:06:10,771
"because you have everything
to gain if you're right,
165
00:06:10,804 --> 00:06:13,173
and nothing to lose
if you're wrong."
166
00:06:13,206 --> 00:06:15,476
Sounds right.
167
00:06:15,509 --> 00:06:16,744
(footsteps approaching)
168
00:06:16,777 --> 00:06:18,145
MARY:
Meemaw is coming over
169
00:06:18,178 --> 00:06:20,180
to watch you-- I gotta go.
170
00:06:20,213 --> 00:06:22,483
Where?
Daddy's not feeling good.
171
00:06:22,516 --> 00:06:24,752
We're gonna go see a doctor.
172
00:06:24,785 --> 00:06:26,654
Is he okay?
He's gonna be fine.
173
00:06:26,687 --> 00:06:28,489
You just sit right there.
174
00:06:28,522 --> 00:06:29,990
Meemaw's on her way over
to cook you dinner.
175
00:06:30,023 --> 00:06:31,559
Can we come with you?
176
00:06:31,592 --> 00:06:33,961
No. Just stay right there,
don't move.
177
00:06:33,994 --> 00:06:35,929
George, let's go.
178
00:06:47,775 --> 00:06:50,911
How long are we
supposed to sit here?
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00:06:50,944 --> 00:06:52,212
I don't know.
180
00:06:52,245 --> 00:06:53,547
She said don't move.
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00:06:53,581 --> 00:06:57,050
She was very clear.
182
00:06:57,084 --> 00:06:59,219
Hope I don't have
to go to the bathroom.
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00:06:59,252 --> 00:07:00,888
(door opens)
184
00:07:01,955 --> 00:07:02,923
Don't worry!
185
00:07:02,956 --> 00:07:04,625
Meemaw's here!
186
00:07:04,658 --> 00:07:07,060
Everything's under control!
187
00:07:07,094 --> 00:07:08,629
Oh.
(chuckles)
188
00:07:08,662 --> 00:07:10,698
We haven't had dinner yet.
189
00:07:10,731 --> 00:07:11,799
Really?
190
00:07:11,832 --> 00:07:13,734
(groans)
191
00:07:13,767 --> 00:07:16,470
I don't feel like cookin'.
192
00:07:20,040 --> 00:07:22,610
I think my husband's having
a heart attack!
193
00:07:23,677 --> 00:07:25,913
NURSE: I need an RRT
and a crash cart.
194
00:07:25,946 --> 00:07:27,981
Over here.
195
00:07:28,015 --> 00:07:30,684
Sir, are you having
chest pains right now?
196
00:07:30,718 --> 00:07:31,852
Yeah, a little bit.
197
00:07:31,885 --> 00:07:34,221
Any numbness
or pain in your arms?
198
00:07:34,254 --> 00:07:35,823
Maybe this one.
199
00:07:35,856 --> 00:07:37,024
Shortness of breath?
200
00:07:37,057 --> 00:07:38,526
Enough questions.
201
00:07:38,559 --> 00:07:39,960
He's a fat, middle-aged man
with chest pains.
202
00:07:39,993 --> 00:07:41,228
Do something!
203
00:07:41,261 --> 00:07:43,263
All right.
Sorry about the fat, honey.
204
00:07:43,296 --> 00:07:45,699
You said you liked me this way.
205
00:07:45,733 --> 00:07:47,267
(grunts)
206
00:07:47,300 --> 00:07:49,002
Is Daddy gonna be okay?
207
00:07:49,036 --> 00:07:51,171
Oh, yeah.
Your Pop-Pop used to have
208
00:07:51,204 --> 00:07:53,273
little chest pains all the time.
209
00:07:53,306 --> 00:07:55,576
Didn't he die of a heart attack?
210
00:07:55,609 --> 00:07:58,478
Well,
for insurance purposes, yes.
211
00:07:59,312 --> 00:08:00,714
(door opens)
212
00:08:00,748 --> 00:08:02,816
Hey. What's goin' on?
213
00:08:02,850 --> 00:08:04,652
Dad's in
the hospital.
214
00:08:04,685 --> 00:08:06,854
What? Why's Dad in the hospital?
215
00:08:06,887 --> 00:08:08,255
He's gonna be fine.
He had chest pains.
216
00:08:08,288 --> 00:08:10,123
He's gonna be fine.
217
00:08:10,157 --> 00:08:12,125
What are we doin'? Why
aren't we going to the hospital?
218
00:08:12,159 --> 00:08:13,727
Nobody's goin' nowhere.
219
00:08:13,761 --> 00:08:15,128
We're just
gonna stay calm,
220
00:08:15,162 --> 00:08:17,731
have a nice dinner,
and wait for your mama to call
221
00:08:17,765 --> 00:08:19,232
and tell us what's what.
222
00:08:19,266 --> 00:08:21,735
I'm not hungry.
223
00:08:23,971 --> 00:08:26,874
What did you mean
by "insurance purposes"?
224
00:08:26,907 --> 00:08:28,876
Just eat.
225
00:08:30,043 --> 00:08:31,979
(laughter on TV)
226
00:08:35,983 --> 00:08:39,219
What kind of Texan drinks
pink wine?
227
00:08:39,252 --> 00:08:41,555
(phone rings)
228
00:08:44,625 --> 00:08:46,093
Hello.
229
00:08:46,126 --> 00:08:47,628
Hi, Mom. Kids okay?
230
00:08:47,661 --> 00:08:49,630
Yeah, they're fine.
How's George?
231
00:08:49,663 --> 00:08:52,099
I don't know.
They're running tests.
232
00:08:52,132 --> 00:08:55,636
Well, don't you worry about us.
(chuckles)
233
00:08:55,669 --> 00:08:58,806
Everything's under control here.
234
00:08:58,839 --> 00:09:00,140
Okay.
235
00:09:00,173 --> 00:09:02,610
I'll call you when I know more.
236
00:09:02,643 --> 00:09:04,344
How you holdin' up?
237
00:09:04,377 --> 00:09:06,647
I guess I'm okay.
238
00:09:06,680 --> 00:09:09,049
Well, George is gonna pull
through this, honey.
239
00:09:09,082 --> 00:09:11,184
I guarantee it.
240
00:09:11,218 --> 00:09:13,053
Thanks, Mom.
241
00:09:13,086 --> 00:09:14,922
Thanks for bein' there.
242
00:09:14,955 --> 00:09:16,356
You bet.
243
00:09:16,389 --> 00:09:18,158
I'll call you later.
244
00:09:18,191 --> 00:09:19,359
Okay.
245
00:09:19,392 --> 00:09:20,861
Bye.
246
00:09:22,129 --> 00:09:24,064
What'd she say?
247
00:09:24,097 --> 00:09:27,067
The doctors are doin' some
tests, but, dollars to donuts,
248
00:09:27,100 --> 00:09:30,270
your daddy's just got
a bad case of gas.
249
00:09:30,303 --> 00:09:32,740
Y'all two go
get ready for bed.
250
00:09:32,773 --> 00:09:34,107
I don't want to stay
around here.
251
00:09:34,141 --> 00:09:36,744
I want to go to the hospital
and see Dad.
252
00:09:36,777 --> 00:09:38,812
Well, I want to go to Las Vegas
and see Willie Nelson,
253
00:09:38,846 --> 00:09:40,948
but that ain't gonna happen
either.
254
00:09:40,981 --> 00:09:42,716
This is stupid.
255
00:09:42,750 --> 00:09:44,284
You know
what's stupid?
256
00:09:44,317 --> 00:09:46,086
I got to drink pink wine!
257
00:09:46,119 --> 00:09:47,087
(door slams)
258
00:09:47,120 --> 00:09:48,388
Meemaw?
259
00:09:48,421 --> 00:09:49,690
What?
260
00:09:49,723 --> 00:09:51,625
Is Dad really okay?
261
00:09:52,359 --> 00:09:53,927
Yes.
262
00:09:53,961 --> 00:09:56,830
I hope you're
not bluffing.
263
00:10:05,238 --> 00:10:07,407
You asleep?
264
00:10:07,440 --> 00:10:09,710
No.
265
00:10:09,743 --> 00:10:11,712
Me neither.
266
00:10:11,745 --> 00:10:14,982
Every time the phone rings,
I get scared.
267
00:10:16,684 --> 00:10:18,652
Me, too.
268
00:10:18,686 --> 00:10:20,821
(knocking)
269
00:10:20,854 --> 00:10:23,056
I'm goin' to see Dad.
You guys want to come?
270
00:10:23,090 --> 00:10:26,226
How? Meemaw said
we have to stay here.
271
00:10:26,259 --> 00:10:28,161
You want to go or not?
272
00:10:30,163 --> 00:10:32,632
*
273
00:10:35,936 --> 00:10:37,671
Shh.
274
00:10:38,371 --> 00:10:40,273
Shh.
275
00:10:40,307 --> 00:10:42,142
Who do I shush?
276
00:10:42,175 --> 00:10:44,044
Shh!
Shh!
277
00:10:47,414 --> 00:10:49,717
(snores softly)
278
00:11:02,062 --> 00:11:03,030
(keys jangle)
279
00:11:05,465 --> 00:11:07,067
(quietly):
What are you doing?
280
00:11:07,100 --> 00:11:08,969
I'm driving
to the hospital.
281
00:11:09,002 --> 00:11:11,404
You can come with me
or stay here-- up to you.
282
00:11:11,438 --> 00:11:13,473
I'm comin'.
283
00:11:13,506 --> 00:11:15,142
Sheldon?
284
00:11:15,175 --> 00:11:16,276
You're 14.
285
00:11:16,309 --> 00:11:17,778
You don't know how to drive.
286
00:11:17,811 --> 00:11:19,379
I drove a tractor at 4-H camp.
287
00:11:19,412 --> 00:11:20,881
It's the same thing.
288
00:11:20,914 --> 00:11:23,283
But you sat on the farmer's lap.
289
00:11:23,316 --> 00:11:24,451
Then stay here.
290
00:11:24,484 --> 00:11:26,820
Come on, Missy.
291
00:11:28,388 --> 00:11:29,723
(snores loudly)
292
00:11:31,291 --> 00:11:32,826
(engine starts)
293
00:11:34,261 --> 00:11:37,297
(click)
* And I whine, I'm after you *
294
00:11:37,330 --> 00:11:39,099
What are you doin'?
295
00:11:39,132 --> 00:11:40,801
Travelin' music.
296
00:11:40,834 --> 00:11:42,202
SHELDON:
Ugh.
297
00:11:42,235 --> 00:11:43,804
I'm coming with you.
298
00:11:43,837 --> 00:11:45,472
Why are you wearin' my helmet?
299
00:11:45,505 --> 00:11:48,441
I don't expect this to end well.
300
00:11:48,475 --> 00:11:50,043
And the pillows?
301
00:11:50,077 --> 00:11:52,112
Same answer.
302
00:11:52,145 --> 00:11:54,214
Turn it off.
I've got to concentrate.
303
00:11:54,247 --> 00:11:55,849
Aw.
304
00:11:55,883 --> 00:11:57,517
(music stops)
Okay,
305
00:11:57,550 --> 00:11:59,286
seat belts, everybody.
306
00:11:59,319 --> 00:12:01,221
Please drive slowly.
307
00:12:01,254 --> 00:12:03,456
Relax. I know what I'm doin'.
308
00:12:03,490 --> 00:12:05,225
Whoa!
Whoa!
309
00:12:05,258 --> 00:12:06,960
ADULT SHELDON:
I've often been asked
310
00:12:06,994 --> 00:12:09,229
why I never learned
to drive a car.
311
00:12:09,262 --> 00:12:11,832
This night...
312
00:12:11,865 --> 00:12:13,934
is your answer.
313
00:12:13,967 --> 00:12:15,268
Please slow down.
314
00:12:15,302 --> 00:12:17,237
I'm goin' eight
miles an hour.
315
00:12:17,270 --> 00:12:19,006
A cow just passed us.
316
00:12:19,039 --> 00:12:21,374
Do you know
how to get to the hospital?
Yeah.
317
00:12:21,408 --> 00:12:23,510
It's right across the street
from the Dairy Queen.
318
00:12:23,543 --> 00:12:25,078
Which Dairy Queen?
319
00:12:25,112 --> 00:12:26,379
What are you talkin' about?
320
00:12:26,413 --> 00:12:27,514
There's two.
321
00:12:27,547 --> 00:12:28,849
Really?
322
00:12:28,882 --> 00:12:29,950
You're gonna hit it!
323
00:12:29,983 --> 00:12:30,984
Which is the one
Mom takes us to?
324
00:12:31,018 --> 00:12:32,219
You're gonna hit it!
325
00:12:35,022 --> 00:12:37,457
Ooh, you're in trouble now!
326
00:12:37,490 --> 00:12:39,793
(phone ringing)
327
00:13:01,148 --> 00:13:02,482
Yeah?
328
00:13:02,515 --> 00:13:04,885
What took you so long to answer?
329
00:13:04,918 --> 00:13:07,020
Powdering my nose.
What's it to ya?
330
00:13:07,054 --> 00:13:10,357
Sorry I asked. Just wanted
to give you an update.
331
00:13:10,390 --> 00:13:12,592
Y... What's goin' on?
332
00:13:12,625 --> 00:13:14,227
They want to run
some more tests.
333
00:13:14,261 --> 00:13:16,296
They're gonna hold him
overnight.
334
00:13:16,329 --> 00:13:19,166
Oh. Oh, well, that's, that's
nothin' to worry about.
335
00:13:19,199 --> 00:13:21,201
That's just precautionary.
336
00:13:21,234 --> 00:13:22,903
How are the kids?
337
00:13:22,936 --> 00:13:24,905
Oh. (chuckles)
They were a little worried,
338
00:13:24,938 --> 00:13:27,307
but I handled it.
339
00:13:27,340 --> 00:13:28,441
They sleepin'?
340
00:13:28,475 --> 00:13:30,911
Um...
341
00:13:30,944 --> 00:13:32,379
Yeah, yeah.
342
00:13:32,412 --> 00:13:34,047
You bet.
343
00:13:34,081 --> 00:13:36,116
Thanks again for helpin'.
344
00:13:36,149 --> 00:13:37,384
Oh, hey,
345
00:13:37,417 --> 00:13:38,585
these are my grandchildren.
346
00:13:38,618 --> 00:13:40,587
They are my blood.
347
00:13:40,620 --> 00:13:42,422
Okay. I better go.
348
00:13:42,455 --> 00:13:45,292
Okay. We'll talk later.
349
00:13:46,960 --> 00:13:49,863
(exhales)
350
00:13:57,570 --> 00:13:59,839
Son of a bitch.
351
00:14:01,975 --> 00:14:04,211
I hate those kids.
352
00:14:04,244 --> 00:14:07,314
*
353
00:14:07,347 --> 00:14:09,549
MISSY:
Just admit it, we're lost.
354
00:14:09,582 --> 00:14:11,084
We're not lost.
355
00:14:11,118 --> 00:14:13,186
Well, I sure don't see
a hospital anywhere.
356
00:14:13,220 --> 00:14:15,555
Why don't we ask somebody
for directions?
357
00:14:15,588 --> 00:14:18,225
Because we're children
in a car, genius.
358
00:14:19,392 --> 00:14:20,627
Dang it!
359
00:14:20,660 --> 00:14:22,562
Are you aiming for them?
360
00:14:22,595 --> 00:14:24,564
Everybody just shut up.
I got this.
361
00:14:24,597 --> 00:14:27,300
(siren wailing)
362
00:14:27,334 --> 00:14:30,904
Oh, no.
We're going to jail.
363
00:14:30,938 --> 00:14:32,172
Georgie's going to jail.
364
00:14:32,205 --> 00:14:33,907
I'm saying I was kidnapped.
365
00:14:33,941 --> 00:14:35,242
SHELDON:
That's a good plan.
366
00:14:35,275 --> 00:14:37,110
You and I were kidnapped.
367
00:14:37,144 --> 00:14:39,512
If I'm going to jail,
we're all going to jail.
368
00:14:39,546 --> 00:14:42,015
Oh, you better pull over.
369
00:14:46,153 --> 00:14:48,521
GEORGE JR.:
Oh, thank God.
370
00:14:48,555 --> 00:14:51,258
Well, don't just sit there--
follow it.
Why?
371
00:14:51,291 --> 00:14:53,660
It's an ambulance--
it's going to the hospital.
372
00:14:53,693 --> 00:14:56,163
Hang on.
373
00:14:59,166 --> 00:15:01,501
MISSY: How about I put
the radio on real low?
374
00:15:01,534 --> 00:15:03,203
GEORGE JR.:
Shut up.
375
00:15:04,371 --> 00:15:05,505
Mary.
376
00:15:05,538 --> 00:15:06,706
Mom!
377
00:15:06,739 --> 00:15:08,508
Where are they?
Where's who?
378
00:15:08,541 --> 00:15:11,044
More importantly...
379
00:15:13,446 --> 00:15:15,515
...how is George?
SHELDON:
Mom!
380
00:15:15,548 --> 00:15:18,018
Ah. There they are!
Hey. Oh.
381
00:15:18,051 --> 00:15:19,586
MEEMAW: Ha! I lost
the little rascals
382
00:15:19,619 --> 00:15:21,454
in the... hall.
383
00:15:21,488 --> 00:15:23,023
I want to see Dad.
384
00:15:23,056 --> 00:15:24,191
Me, too.
Me, too.
385
00:15:24,224 --> 00:15:25,592
The doctors are
with him now.
386
00:15:25,625 --> 00:15:27,027
I'll take you in a bit.
387
00:15:27,060 --> 00:15:28,161
Why are they here?
388
00:15:28,195 --> 00:15:30,163
I think it's obvious.
389
00:15:30,197 --> 00:15:31,631
They love their daddy.
390
00:15:31,664 --> 00:15:35,135
No, I get that.
Why aren't they home in bed?
391
00:15:39,306 --> 00:15:41,741
Well, nobody could sleep.
392
00:15:41,774 --> 00:15:44,544
I thought it was
the right thing.
393
00:15:46,313 --> 00:15:47,447
Good bluff.
394
00:15:47,480 --> 00:15:49,416
Shh.
395
00:15:49,449 --> 00:15:50,583
Okay, thank you.
396
00:15:50,617 --> 00:15:52,519
You all need anything?
You hungry?
397
00:15:52,552 --> 00:15:53,653
No.
No, thank you.
398
00:15:53,686 --> 00:15:55,455
Okay, everybody sit tight.
399
00:15:55,488 --> 00:15:57,991
I'm gonna go check
on your dad.
400
00:15:59,592 --> 00:16:01,094
Georgie.
401
00:16:02,029 --> 00:16:03,696
Give me my damn keys.
402
00:16:03,730 --> 00:16:06,333
Oh, yeah. Here.
403
00:16:06,366 --> 00:16:08,335
Thank you.
404
00:16:09,502 --> 00:16:11,304
How did I beat you here?
405
00:16:11,338 --> 00:16:13,506
We kept hitting
garbage cans.
406
00:16:13,540 --> 00:16:14,741
Oh, God.
407
00:16:14,774 --> 00:16:16,609
I need to wash
my hands.
408
00:16:16,643 --> 00:16:19,512
There are germs here
that can kill you.
Hold up.
409
00:16:19,546 --> 00:16:22,582
Now, y'all like it
when your meemaw babysits.
410
00:16:22,615 --> 00:16:25,485
Poker, candy,
firecrackers.
411
00:16:25,518 --> 00:16:27,087
Yes.
Yeah.
Yeah.
412
00:16:27,120 --> 00:16:29,089
Well, if your mother
ever finds out
413
00:16:29,122 --> 00:16:30,757
what you did tonight,
414
00:16:30,790 --> 00:16:33,093
that is never
gonna happen again.
415
00:16:33,126 --> 00:16:35,095
I can't lie
to my mother.
416
00:16:35,128 --> 00:16:38,131
Sure you can.
Believe in yourself!
417
00:16:45,372 --> 00:16:47,307
(monitor beeping steadily)
418
00:16:49,109 --> 00:16:50,810
(labored breathing)
419
00:16:50,843 --> 00:16:53,113
(amplified heartbeat)
420
00:16:55,548 --> 00:16:57,250
(rapid beeping)
421
00:17:01,554 --> 00:17:02,555
(weak exhale)
422
00:17:04,724 --> 00:17:06,559
(amplified, rapid heartbeat)
423
00:17:10,863 --> 00:17:13,166
(pants quietly)
424
00:17:33,686 --> 00:17:35,622
*
425
00:17:46,433 --> 00:17:48,501
ADULT SHELDON:
Despite what it looks like,
426
00:17:48,535 --> 00:17:50,770
I didn't pray to God
that night.
427
00:17:50,803 --> 00:17:52,839
I prayed to Blaise Pascal.
428
00:17:52,872 --> 00:17:54,541
My thinking was,
429
00:17:54,574 --> 00:17:57,377
if he was right
about the existence of God,
430
00:17:57,410 --> 00:17:59,612
then he could pass along
my request
431
00:17:59,646 --> 00:18:01,848
for my dad to get better.
432
00:18:01,881 --> 00:18:03,816
If he was wrong...
433
00:18:03,850 --> 00:18:05,552
well...
434
00:18:05,585 --> 00:18:09,122
in this moment,
I needed him to be right.
435
00:18:13,893 --> 00:18:15,862
What's taking so long?
436
00:18:15,895 --> 00:18:17,164
Shh.
437
00:18:17,197 --> 00:18:19,332
Keep your voice down, car thief.
438
00:18:19,366 --> 00:18:21,601
I didn't steal your car,
I just borrowed it.
439
00:18:21,634 --> 00:18:24,804
You're gonna need
to make bail someday.
440
00:18:24,837 --> 00:18:28,275
Do not come to me.
441
00:18:28,308 --> 00:18:29,409
MARY:
Good news!
442
00:18:29,442 --> 00:18:30,877
Your daddy's gonna be fine.
443
00:18:30,910 --> 00:18:33,246
Should be home
in a day or two.
Oh!
444
00:18:33,280 --> 00:18:34,747
And was it a heart attack?
445
00:18:34,781 --> 00:18:36,216
Minor. No permanent damage.
446
00:18:36,249 --> 00:18:38,485
Oh! That's wonderful!
447
00:18:38,518 --> 00:18:40,487
Our prayers have been answered.
448
00:18:41,388 --> 00:18:42,389
Come on,
everybody,
449
00:18:42,422 --> 00:18:44,624
let's say hello to your old dad.
450
00:18:44,657 --> 00:18:46,559
*
451
00:18:46,593 --> 00:18:47,927
Come on.
452
00:18:47,960 --> 00:18:49,762
ADULT SHELDON:
For a brief moment,
453
00:18:49,796 --> 00:18:53,366
I was filled with
the healing power of faith.
454
00:18:53,400 --> 00:18:55,768
Then the next day,
we all got violently ill
455
00:18:55,802 --> 00:18:59,539
from Billy Sparks' eggs,
and I was over it.
456
00:19:02,609 --> 00:19:05,645
I thought I'd talk this morning
about how it all began.
457
00:19:05,678 --> 00:19:08,548
Now, everybody knows how,
on the first day of creation,
458
00:19:08,581 --> 00:19:10,650
God said, "Let there be light."
459
00:19:10,683 --> 00:19:12,519
And there was light.
460
00:19:12,552 --> 00:19:15,788
And when God saw that light,
he knew it was good.
461
00:19:15,822 --> 00:19:17,224
(congregation murmuring)
462
00:19:17,257 --> 00:19:18,725
Oh, here we go.
463
00:19:18,758 --> 00:19:20,327
Yes, Sheldon.
464
00:19:20,360 --> 00:19:23,263
You said he didn't create
the sun until day four.
465
00:19:23,296 --> 00:19:24,797
Yeah.
466
00:19:24,831 --> 00:19:27,400
So how could there be light
the first three days?
467
00:19:27,434 --> 00:19:28,668
God is light.
468
00:19:28,701 --> 00:19:30,803
So God's a photon?
469
00:19:32,739 --> 00:19:35,208
God's what made photons
possible.
470
00:19:35,242 --> 00:19:36,943
And what day did he do that?
471
00:19:36,976 --> 00:19:38,778
I would think day one.
472
00:19:38,811 --> 00:19:41,648
If I grab my chest
and keel over, maybe
we can get out of here.
473
00:19:41,681 --> 00:19:43,416
That's a terrible
thing to say.
474
00:19:43,450 --> 00:19:45,585
...because the first day
had just begun.
475
00:19:45,618 --> 00:19:46,986
So, before the Big Bang?
476
00:19:47,019 --> 00:19:48,621
There was no Big Bang.
477
00:19:48,655 --> 00:19:49,956
There was only the Word.
478
00:19:49,989 --> 00:19:52,259
Was the word "kaboom"?
479
00:19:52,292 --> 00:19:53,393
Okay, do it.
480
00:19:53,426 --> 00:19:54,494
(grunts)
481
00:19:54,527 --> 00:19:55,628
We gotta go.
482
00:19:55,662 --> 00:19:56,829
(grunting)
483
00:19:56,863 --> 00:19:57,897
MISSY:
What's happening?
484
00:19:57,930 --> 00:19:59,499
Is it over?
Y-Yes.
31381
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