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1
00:00:04,004 --> 00:00:05,353
So, there's three of you?
2
00:00:05,483 --> 00:00:07,572
Yep. My brother and I
were both Navy,
3
00:00:07,703 --> 00:00:10,184
and I have a sister
who's a flight attendant.
4
00:00:10,314 --> 00:00:12,969
Ah. I'll bet she's seen
more combat than both of you.
5
00:00:13,100 --> 00:00:16,973
Oh, yeah, the Sunday night
flight back from Vegas is rough.
6
00:00:17,104 --> 00:00:18,627
[chuckles]Hand me that ten.
7
00:00:20,498 --> 00:00:22,109
Uh, when you bleed the brakes
and refill them, make sure...
8
00:00:22,239 --> 00:00:24,633
Yep, I already checked
the brake lines for cracks.
9
00:00:24,763 --> 00:00:26,461
Wow. It's nice to meet a woman
10
00:00:26,591 --> 00:00:28,463
who knows how to fix
her own bike.
11
00:00:28,593 --> 00:00:31,031
It's nice to meet a Marine
who knows how to read.
12
00:00:31,161 --> 00:00:32,989
[laughs]
13
00:00:33,120 --> 00:00:34,382
Ah. You miss it?
14
00:00:34,512 --> 00:00:35,687
Miss what?
15
00:00:35,818 --> 00:00:39,343
Being in, being active duty.
16
00:00:39,474 --> 00:00:41,911
Well, I don't miss
being on a ship.
17
00:00:42,042 --> 00:00:44,131
You and I are never
going on a cruise.
18
00:00:44,261 --> 00:00:45,697
[chuckles]
19
00:00:47,134 --> 00:00:49,875
What's the longest
you were at sea?
20
00:00:50,006 --> 00:00:52,095
Well, it was supposed
to be six months,
21
00:00:52,226 --> 00:00:55,055
kept getting extended,
turned into nine.
22
00:00:55,185 --> 00:00:56,317
Oh, man, I hate
when that happens.
23
00:00:56,447 --> 00:00:57,622
Yeah, and the galley
24
00:00:57,753 --> 00:00:59,146
always knew when
bad news was coming
25
00:00:59,276 --> 00:01:01,191
'cause they had us cook
the crew a steak dinner.
26
00:01:01,322 --> 00:01:03,933
Try to soften the blow.
Mm.
27
00:01:04,064 --> 00:01:05,891
So, if you cook me a rib eye,
28
00:01:06,022 --> 00:01:07,415
it means you're gonna
break up with me?
29
00:01:07,545 --> 00:01:10,418
Now you know my tell.
30
00:01:10,548 --> 00:01:13,334
Hope it doesn't happen,
but if it does,
31
00:01:13,464 --> 00:01:15,292
I like it medium-rare.
32
00:01:21,733 --> 00:01:23,213
You want to go upstairs?
33
00:01:23,344 --> 00:01:25,215
Ooh, I don't know.
34
00:01:25,346 --> 00:01:27,391
It's getting kind of late.
35
00:01:27,522 --> 00:01:29,959
Oh!
[laughs]
36
00:01:30,090 --> 00:01:32,396
[laughs]
Other way.
37
00:01:34,790 --> 00:01:37,271
And while many factors
influence our decision-making,
38
00:01:37,401 --> 00:01:40,187
those decisions turn out to be
surprisingly predictable.
39
00:01:40,317 --> 00:01:43,233
Mr. Karimi, we are not even
one minute into this class.
40
00:01:43,364 --> 00:01:45,322
Yes, thank you.
41
00:01:45,453 --> 00:01:48,282
Uh, my question is
this doesn't make sense.
42
00:01:48,412 --> 00:01:51,285
How can you predict what someone
is going to do? You're not God.
43
00:01:51,415 --> 00:01:52,851
I am during midterms.
[chuckles]
44
00:01:52,982 --> 00:01:54,418
Uh, that was a joke.
45
00:01:54,549 --> 00:01:56,116
I am not God.
46
00:01:56,246 --> 00:01:57,943
Uh, "I...
47
00:01:58,074 --> 00:02:01,251
am not God."
48
00:02:01,382 --> 00:02:02,600
[grunts]
49
00:02:04,733 --> 00:02:07,039
But it's a good question.
50
00:02:07,170 --> 00:02:09,651
How do we predict
human behavior?
51
00:02:09,781 --> 00:02:11,305
Think of the grocery store.
52
00:02:11,435 --> 00:02:14,046
Studies show that when shopping
carts are doubled in size,
53
00:02:14,177 --> 00:02:16,745
customers will buy 40% more.
54
00:02:16,875 --> 00:02:18,399
Yes, Mr. Karimi?
55
00:02:18,529 --> 00:02:20,401
I don't do that.
56
00:02:20,531 --> 00:02:22,185
I just buy the groceries I need.
57
00:02:22,316 --> 00:02:23,969
The size of the cart
makes no difference.
58
00:02:24,100 --> 00:02:26,015
You might think that,
but grocery stores
59
00:02:26,146 --> 00:02:29,323
do manipulate people into
making unconscious decisions.
60
00:02:29,453 --> 00:02:31,499
I actually work
in a grocery store,
61
00:02:31,629 --> 00:02:33,283
and we don't manipulate anyone.
62
00:02:33,414 --> 00:02:34,850
Well, I already regret
asking this,
63
00:02:34,980 --> 00:02:36,895
but what do you do
at the grocery store?
64
00:02:37,026 --> 00:02:38,506
I restock the shelves.
But Shawn says
65
00:02:38,636 --> 00:02:41,161
I'm only a few months
away from being a bagger.
66
00:02:41,291 --> 00:02:42,640
I bet you restock the shelves
67
00:02:42,771 --> 00:02:45,556
at the end of the aisles
more than the middle.
68
00:02:46,557 --> 00:02:47,689
I do.
69
00:02:48,820 --> 00:02:50,082
That's because of
a psychological principle
70
00:02:50,213 --> 00:02:51,867
called funneling.
71
00:02:51,997 --> 00:02:54,478
I-If you are implying
that my manager Tom
72
00:02:54,609 --> 00:02:56,132
is some sort of mastermind,
73
00:02:56,263 --> 00:02:59,353
he once came to work
with his pants on backwards.
74
00:02:59,483 --> 00:03:01,964
Now might be a good time
to remind everyone
75
00:03:02,094 --> 00:03:05,533
that this is a lecture,
not a conversation.
76
00:03:05,663 --> 00:03:07,970
Moving on, there are four
colored circles behind me.
77
00:03:08,100 --> 00:03:11,060
Would you all think
of one of those colors?
78
00:03:11,191 --> 00:03:14,194
70% of you chose red.
79
00:03:14,324 --> 00:03:15,499
Show of hands.
80
00:03:17,588 --> 00:03:20,591
Oh, what has he done to us?
81
00:03:22,114 --> 00:03:23,072
♪
82
00:03:23,203 --> 00:03:24,508
♪ Oh!
83
00:03:34,214 --> 00:03:35,389
Mm-hmm. My appointment
is on Wednesday,
84
00:03:35,519 --> 00:03:37,652
but I need to see
my therapist today.
85
00:03:37,782 --> 00:03:40,524
I'd rather not tell you
what happened.
86
00:03:40,655 --> 00:03:42,091
But, um...
87
00:03:42,222 --> 00:03:44,049
it's something
that never happens.
88
00:03:44,180 --> 00:03:48,097
And then the thing
that always happens didn't.
89
00:03:48,228 --> 00:03:49,620
Happen.
90
00:03:51,318 --> 00:03:53,102
Not as sorry as I am.
91
00:03:54,625 --> 00:03:56,192
Mm-hmm. Yeah, I'll hold.
[clears throat]
92
00:03:56,323 --> 00:03:58,325
[Muzak playing]
93
00:04:00,327 --> 00:04:02,285
Hey!Hey, bud!
94
00:04:04,418 --> 00:04:05,767
Is everything all right?
95
00:04:05,897 --> 00:04:07,551
Oh, everything's fine.
96
00:04:07,682 --> 00:04:09,597
You don't seem fine.
97
00:04:09,727 --> 00:04:10,772
Well, I-I am.
98
00:04:10,902 --> 00:04:12,774
Totally fine.
99
00:04:12,904 --> 00:04:13,775
RECEPTIONIST:
Mental Health Services.
100
00:04:13,905 --> 00:04:16,081
Hi. Hey, uh, uh,
101
00:04:16,212 --> 00:04:17,561
yeah, I was looking
to move up my appointment
102
00:04:17,692 --> 00:04:19,259
with Dr. Wayne Patterson.
103
00:04:19,389 --> 00:04:21,696
Oh, no,
I was actually just on hold.
104
00:04:22,827 --> 00:04:24,089
[Muzak playing]
105
00:04:26,266 --> 00:04:28,224
Uh... Dr. Patterson,
106
00:04:28,355 --> 00:04:29,660
isn't that
your therapist?
107
00:04:29,791 --> 00:04:32,054
Al, can you just...
give me some space?
108
00:04:33,360 --> 00:04:34,274
What's the matter?
109
00:04:34,404 --> 00:04:35,666
Nothing.
110
00:04:35,797 --> 00:04:37,538
So you're just calling
Mental Health Services
111
00:04:37,668 --> 00:04:39,888
to see how they're doing?
112
00:04:40,976 --> 00:04:42,064
I don't want to talk about it.
113
00:04:42,194 --> 00:04:43,761
It's embarrassing.Riley,
114
00:04:43,892 --> 00:04:44,936
we don't have
secrets.
115
00:04:45,067 --> 00:04:46,503
We tell each other
everything.
116
00:04:47,461 --> 00:04:49,114
[exhales]
117
00:04:49,245 --> 00:04:51,291
All right. Uh...
[chuckles softly]
118
00:04:52,248 --> 00:04:53,771
On my date with Holly...Mm-hmm.
119
00:04:53,902 --> 00:04:55,817
...for the
first time...
120
00:04:55,947 --> 00:04:58,167
ever...
121
00:04:58,298 --> 00:05:00,300
I wasn't able to perform.
122
00:05:02,693 --> 00:05:05,261
Oh, that is embarrassing.
123
00:05:05,392 --> 00:05:06,567
Yeah.
124
00:05:06,697 --> 00:05:09,134
Well, I have not
been through that,
125
00:05:09,265 --> 00:05:10,788
but, based on TV commercials,
126
00:05:10,919 --> 00:05:12,747
I am the only man in America
who hasn't.
127
00:05:13,704 --> 00:05:14,575
Thanks.
128
00:05:14,705 --> 00:05:16,272
You're welcome.
129
00:05:16,403 --> 00:05:18,100
Have you ever thought
about keeping a handful of rice
130
00:05:18,230 --> 00:05:19,928
in your pocket?I have not.
131
00:05:20,058 --> 00:05:23,192
In Afghanistan, a groom will rub
the rice between his fingers
132
00:05:23,323 --> 00:05:25,325
so he is not stressed out
about his wedding night.
133
00:05:25,455 --> 00:05:26,848
I'm sure my therapist will say
the same thing,
134
00:05:26,978 --> 00:05:29,067
but doesn't hurt
to double-check.
135
00:05:31,200 --> 00:05:32,593
RECEPTIONIST:
Thank you for holding.Yeah.
136
00:05:32,723 --> 00:05:34,377
I'm afraid
Dr. Patterson has had to cancel
137
00:05:34,508 --> 00:05:35,900
all his appointments this week.
138
00:05:36,031 --> 00:05:37,772
What? Why?
139
00:05:37,902 --> 00:05:38,816
He's had a medical event.
140
00:05:38,947 --> 00:05:40,514
So have I!
141
00:05:40,644 --> 00:05:42,603
What's wrong with him?
When will he be back?
142
00:05:42,733 --> 00:05:44,692
I'm afraid I can't say.
143
00:05:44,822 --> 00:05:46,520
[sighs]
144
00:05:46,650 --> 00:05:48,696
All right. Thank you.
145
00:05:48,826 --> 00:05:50,828
[clinking]
146
00:05:52,439 --> 00:05:53,744
Oh, Riley,
147
00:05:53,875 --> 00:05:56,181
have you thought
about swallowing raw eggs?
148
00:05:56,312 --> 00:05:57,531
Is that what Afghans do?
149
00:05:57,661 --> 00:05:59,010
It's what Rocky Balboa does.
150
00:05:59,141 --> 00:06:01,012
I bet he doesn't have
your problem.
151
00:06:08,672 --> 00:06:10,761
There he is!
152
00:06:10,892 --> 00:06:12,589
See you did
some laundry.
153
00:06:13,721 --> 00:06:16,550
Yes. I did the laundry.
154
00:06:16,680 --> 00:06:19,553
Laundry is nice, am I right?
155
00:06:19,683 --> 00:06:20,858
What do you want, Riley?
156
00:06:22,164 --> 00:06:24,035
Hey, um, so, uh...
157
00:06:24,166 --> 00:06:26,560
when you and Lois are...
158
00:06:26,690 --> 00:06:28,039
together...
159
00:06:29,040 --> 00:06:30,085
Yeah.
160
00:06:30,215 --> 00:06:32,130
I mean, like...
161
00:06:32,261 --> 00:06:33,915
together.
162
00:06:34,045 --> 00:06:35,917
I get it.
163
00:06:36,874 --> 00:06:38,702
Right. So...
164
00:06:38,833 --> 00:06:41,401
are you, like,
batting a thousand?
165
00:06:41,531 --> 00:06:45,100
Or does the manager ever have
to come out and be like,
166
00:06:45,230 --> 00:06:47,102
"It's not your night"?
167
00:06:48,103 --> 00:06:49,844
[chuckles]:
Oh...
168
00:06:49,974 --> 00:06:50,845
You mean...
169
00:06:50,975 --> 00:06:52,237
Yeah.Yeah.
170
00:06:53,195 --> 00:06:55,676
I never needed any help
in that department.
171
00:06:55,806 --> 00:06:57,242
Got a lot of buddies who have.Mm.
172
00:06:57,373 --> 00:06:58,766
It's very common.
173
00:06:58,896 --> 00:07:00,985
Very, very common.
174
00:07:01,116 --> 00:07:02,465
Very...
175
00:07:03,727 --> 00:07:05,033
...very common.
176
00:07:06,556 --> 00:07:08,428
You want to talk about it?
177
00:07:08,558 --> 00:07:10,430
I thought I did.Hey.
178
00:07:10,560 --> 00:07:12,257
There's nothing
to be embarrassed about.
179
00:07:12,388 --> 00:07:13,824
I could make a call
to one of my pals,
180
00:07:13,955 --> 00:07:15,522
see if I can hook you up,
181
00:07:15,652 --> 00:07:18,089
but they'd know it's not for me.
182
00:07:18,220 --> 00:07:19,787
[chuckles]
I mean,
183
00:07:19,917 --> 00:07:21,136
come on.
184
00:07:24,052 --> 00:07:26,141
Can we just pretend this
conversation never happened?
185
00:07:26,271 --> 00:07:27,577
I already am.
186
00:07:33,714 --> 00:07:35,237
Very common.
187
00:07:39,676 --> 00:07:40,982
Professor Williams.
188
00:07:41,112 --> 00:07:42,331
Hi. Am I interrupting?
189
00:07:42,462 --> 00:07:43,332
Now you ask?
190
00:07:43,463 --> 00:07:44,899
Not during lecture?
191
00:07:45,856 --> 00:07:47,815
You won't believe this,
but, at the grocery store,
192
00:07:47,945 --> 00:07:50,295
I proved
your theory right.Is that so?
193
00:07:50,426 --> 00:07:51,775
Everything I put
at the end of the aisle,
194
00:07:51,906 --> 00:07:53,734
the customers would buy.
Even the stale bread,
195
00:07:53,864 --> 00:07:56,084
which my manager said
showed real initiative.[chuckles]
196
00:07:56,214 --> 00:07:57,999
Well, that's how it works.
Thanks for stopping by.
197
00:07:58,129 --> 00:07:59,740
See you inclass...
198
00:07:59,870 --> 00:08:01,524
All this time,
I thought
199
00:08:01,655 --> 00:08:04,005
psychology was about studying
the minds of crazy people.
200
00:08:04,135 --> 00:08:06,747
That is where a lot
of the action is.
201
00:08:06,877 --> 00:08:08,270
But it is everywhere.
202
00:08:08,400 --> 00:08:09,924
If you want to buy something,
psychology.
203
00:08:10,054 --> 00:08:11,752
You want to get married,
psychology.
204
00:08:11,882 --> 00:08:13,928
This is starting to seem like
a legitimate field of study.
205
00:08:14,058 --> 00:08:15,712
Tell that to my mother.
206
00:08:17,105 --> 00:08:18,236
Professor.Yeah.
207
00:08:18,367 --> 00:08:19,977
You are such
a fascinating person.
208
00:08:20,108 --> 00:08:21,457
Would you be interested
209
00:08:21,588 --> 00:08:22,371
in coming to my home
for dinner tonight?
210
00:08:22,502 --> 00:08:23,503
I feel like
you and I
211
00:08:23,633 --> 00:08:24,678
can learn a lot from each other.
212
00:08:24,808 --> 00:08:27,202
Uh, I am flattered, Mr. Karimi,
213
00:08:27,332 --> 00:08:29,073
but I wouldn't want
the rest of the class to think
214
00:08:29,204 --> 00:08:30,510
I was showing you
any favoritism.
215
00:08:30,640 --> 00:08:32,642
Oh, I think they all know
I'm your favorite.
216
00:08:33,730 --> 00:08:35,993
Here is my address.
217
00:08:36,124 --> 00:08:37,168
See you at 6:00.
218
00:08:41,433 --> 00:08:43,305
Riley, why aren't
you getting dressed?
219
00:08:43,435 --> 00:08:44,959
My professor
will be here soon.
220
00:08:45,089 --> 00:08:48,005
Zero chance
I'm stepping foot out there.
221
00:08:49,006 --> 00:08:51,226
But it will be an opportunity
to talk about your problem.
222
00:08:51,356 --> 00:08:53,489
I'm not seeking those out.
223
00:08:54,446 --> 00:08:56,057
Well, at least stop lifting
those weights.
224
00:08:56,187 --> 00:08:58,973
It is not your biceps
that need to get bigger.
225
00:09:01,976 --> 00:09:04,413
This wine is fantastic.
Thank you.
226
00:09:04,544 --> 00:09:05,980
Oh, great.
Glad you like it.
227
00:09:06,110 --> 00:09:07,982
Let me guess--
end of the aisle? Huh?[chuckles]
228
00:09:08,112 --> 00:09:09,070
[chuckles]
229
00:09:09,200 --> 00:09:10,550
Oh,
230
00:09:10,680 --> 00:09:11,899
it is a psychology joke.
231
00:09:12,029 --> 00:09:13,204
You don't get it.
232
00:09:13,335 --> 00:09:16,556
Professor, the question
I have is this--
233
00:09:16,686 --> 00:09:18,819
when you acquire
the power of psychology,
234
00:09:18,949 --> 00:09:21,256
how do you ensure
you are using it for good?
235
00:09:21,386 --> 00:09:24,564
Well, good itself
is a subjective concept.
236
00:09:24,694 --> 00:09:26,522
And you don't like
having people over.
237
00:09:26,653 --> 00:09:27,871
BRETT:
So... so, Lizzie,
238
00:09:28,002 --> 00:09:29,569
you-you said you do pottery?
239
00:09:29,699 --> 00:09:30,744
Yeah, when I can.
240
00:09:30,874 --> 00:09:31,745
I love it.
241
00:09:31,875 --> 00:09:32,920
I used to throw pots.
242
00:09:33,050 --> 00:09:34,312
At the wall, during my divorce.
243
00:09:34,443 --> 00:09:35,966
I'm kidding.
It was very amicable.
244
00:09:36,097 --> 00:09:38,099
We share a cat.[chuckles]
245
00:09:38,229 --> 00:09:39,666
I-I actually made this.
246
00:09:39,796 --> 00:09:40,667
Stop it.
247
00:09:40,797 --> 00:09:42,059
No, really.
[chuckles]
248
00:09:42,190 --> 00:09:44,584
I don't want to say
I'm bowled over, but...
249
00:09:44,714 --> 00:09:46,063
since you're smiling,
250
00:09:46,194 --> 00:09:47,325
I'm glad I did.
251
00:09:48,500 --> 00:09:50,111
Smiling is part of psychology.
252
00:09:50,241 --> 00:09:53,244
All of it is psychology.
253
00:09:54,245 --> 00:09:56,073
Uh, so how do you like teaching
at the community college?
254
00:09:56,204 --> 00:09:57,597
It's nice.
255
00:09:57,727 --> 00:09:59,120
It's a little more personal
than the university.
256
00:09:59,250 --> 00:10:00,600
I get to spend more
time with my students.
257
00:10:00,730 --> 00:10:01,601
Have dinner with them.
258
00:10:01,731 --> 00:10:02,602
Hmm.
259
00:10:02,732 --> 00:10:04,473
Meet lovely people like you.
260
00:10:04,604 --> 00:10:06,606
Well, cheers to that.
261
00:10:06,736 --> 00:10:07,781
Yeah.
262
00:10:08,782 --> 00:10:11,175
So, is your boyfriend
also an artist?
263
00:10:12,220 --> 00:10:13,613
Oh, I don't have
a boyfriend.
264
00:10:14,701 --> 00:10:15,963
Well, cheers to that as well.
265
00:10:19,880 --> 00:10:21,185
Okay, enough cheers.
266
00:10:21,316 --> 00:10:22,534
Professor,
did you bring your circles?
267
00:10:22,665 --> 00:10:23,884
Never mind. I will make some.
[grunts]
268
00:10:31,456 --> 00:10:34,721
Well, that pot roast
was truly delicious,
269
00:10:34,851 --> 00:10:37,288
which means a lot
coming from a very strict vegan.
270
00:10:38,246 --> 00:10:42,076
Well, it's not the first time
my meat made a man switch teams.
271
00:10:42,206 --> 00:10:43,643
BRETT:
Liz,
272
00:10:43,773 --> 00:10:45,557
your hair color is so fun.
273
00:10:45,688 --> 00:10:47,081
It really fits
your personality.
274
00:10:47,211 --> 00:10:49,170
Thank you.
I do like to switch it up.Hmm.
275
00:10:49,300 --> 00:10:50,824
What a cool form
of self-expression.
276
00:10:50,954 --> 00:10:51,825
It is.
277
00:10:51,955 --> 00:10:53,217
Isn't it, Dad?
278
00:10:54,305 --> 00:10:55,524
Hmm.
279
00:11:01,095 --> 00:11:02,357
See what's going on
out there?
280
00:11:02,487 --> 00:11:03,532
Yes.
281
00:11:03,663 --> 00:11:05,360
I can't tell you
how sorry I am
282
00:11:05,490 --> 00:11:07,492
for bringing this
spider into your home.
283
00:11:07,623 --> 00:11:08,493
What are you
talking about?
284
00:11:08,624 --> 00:11:09,625
I trusted him.
285
00:11:09,756 --> 00:11:10,931
And here he is,
286
00:11:11,061 --> 00:11:13,498
weaving a web
around poor Lizzie.
287
00:11:13,629 --> 00:11:16,850
"Ooh, your bowl is
so bowl-shaped."
288
00:11:16,980 --> 00:11:18,373
[gnawing sounds]
289
00:11:20,375 --> 00:11:21,463
I like him.
290
00:11:21,593 --> 00:11:23,334
Last guy
she brought home had a chain
291
00:11:23,465 --> 00:11:25,772
from his nose
to his wallet.
292
00:11:25,902 --> 00:11:27,991
If you invite a man into your
home and he eats your food,
293
00:11:28,122 --> 00:11:30,385
he should not make advances
on a woman in your household.
294
00:11:30,515 --> 00:11:32,126
Advances?
They're just talking.
295
00:11:32,256 --> 00:11:34,694
[sighs] Mr. Art, you are just
trying to spare my feelings.
296
00:11:34,824 --> 00:11:36,347
On a subconscious level,
297
00:11:36,478 --> 00:11:37,784
you are outraged.
298
00:11:37,914 --> 00:11:39,437
I will take care of it.
299
00:11:39,568 --> 00:11:40,874
Promise you will not give
this another thought.
300
00:11:41,004 --> 00:11:43,006
I promise.
301
00:11:49,099 --> 00:11:50,405
There you are.
302
00:11:50,535 --> 00:11:52,407
Aw, geez.
303
00:11:52,537 --> 00:11:53,800
What are you doing here?
304
00:11:53,930 --> 00:11:56,585
I'm checking on you.
305
00:11:57,804 --> 00:11:58,979
How the hell'd you find me?
306
00:11:59,109 --> 00:12:00,545
You're a vet.
You work for the V.A.
307
00:12:00,676 --> 00:12:01,851
It's a V.A. hospital.
308
00:12:01,982 --> 00:12:03,461
Not exactly Waldo.
309
00:12:04,549 --> 00:12:05,507
Y-You shouldn't be here.
310
00:12:05,637 --> 00:12:07,683
Oh, don't mention it.
311
00:12:07,814 --> 00:12:09,990
No, I mean it's not appropriate.
312
00:12:10,120 --> 00:12:11,992
Now you sound
like the nurse.
313
00:12:12,122 --> 00:12:12,993
What happened?
314
00:12:13,123 --> 00:12:14,777
I broke my hip.
315
00:12:14,908 --> 00:12:17,562
There was an icy patch outside
of the Liquor Barn, and...
316
00:12:17,693 --> 00:12:20,348
Don't worry--
I didn't break the bourbon.
317
00:12:20,478 --> 00:12:23,003
Well, figured
you could use a visitor.
318
00:12:23,133 --> 00:12:25,570
I could use the bourbon.
319
00:12:26,615 --> 00:12:29,357
While I'm here, I do have
something on my mind.
320
00:12:29,487 --> 00:12:32,099
Hopefully I'll be back in my
office in a couple of weeks.
321
00:12:32,229 --> 00:12:33,753
So, you remem--
you remember Holly?
322
00:12:34,797 --> 00:12:37,060
You know,
you're lucky I can't move.
323
00:12:37,191 --> 00:12:39,410
We're at her place.
We're hanging out.
324
00:12:39,541 --> 00:12:43,066
It's going well.
Things are starting to happen.
325
00:12:43,197 --> 00:12:45,112
But then...
326
00:12:45,242 --> 00:12:46,113
Uh-oh.
327
00:12:46,243 --> 00:12:48,419
Too soon or not at all?
328
00:12:48,550 --> 00:12:49,464
Second one.
329
00:12:49,594 --> 00:12:50,682
Oh, geez.
330
00:12:50,813 --> 00:12:53,076
Well, neither one's great.
331
00:12:53,207 --> 00:12:55,122
This never happened
to me before.
332
00:12:55,252 --> 00:12:56,384
Mm.So it's not me, right?
333
00:12:56,514 --> 00:12:58,081
Mm.It's her. It's got to be her.
334
00:12:58,212 --> 00:13:00,127
It's not her.
335
00:13:00,257 --> 00:13:02,216
Then who is it?
'Cause it's not me!
336
00:13:02,346 --> 00:13:05,654
[sighs] Look, a lot of veterans
have this problem.
337
00:13:05,785 --> 00:13:07,438
There's a whole bunch of reasons
338
00:13:07,569 --> 00:13:09,310
which cause...Mr. Patterson,
it's time for your surgery.
339
00:13:09,440 --> 00:13:11,616
Thank God.
340
00:13:16,360 --> 00:13:17,797
Hello, Professor.
341
00:13:17,927 --> 00:13:18,885
Hey, there's
my favorite student.
342
00:13:19,015 --> 00:13:20,800
I so enjoyed dinner last night.
343
00:13:20,930 --> 00:13:24,499
Mm, I bet you did, you spider.
344
00:13:25,456 --> 00:13:27,981
Feel like I'm missing...
something.
345
00:13:28,111 --> 00:13:31,462
You have disrespected me
and the honor of my family.
346
00:13:31,593 --> 00:13:33,377
How? I took my shoes off.
347
00:13:33,508 --> 00:13:36,511
I had meat for the first time
in nine years.
348
00:13:36,641 --> 00:13:38,513
It's clear
you have your eyes on Lizzie.
349
00:13:38,643 --> 00:13:40,341
She talk about me?
350
00:13:40,471 --> 00:13:42,343
I sent her a Facebook request,
but I haven't heard back.
351
00:13:42,473 --> 00:13:44,345
I am on pins and needles.
352
00:13:44,475 --> 00:13:46,651
In my culture,
it is unthinkable
353
00:13:46,782 --> 00:13:48,479
to be invited
into another man's home
354
00:13:48,610 --> 00:13:50,438
and then make advances
on the women in his family.
355
00:13:50,568 --> 00:13:52,266
I am so sorry. I had no idea.
356
00:13:52,396 --> 00:13:53,789
I trusted you.
357
00:13:53,920 --> 00:13:55,791
Do you know how bad
you have made me look?
358
00:13:55,922 --> 00:13:58,620
Oh, geez. I-I will
absolutely stop pursuing her.
359
00:13:58,750 --> 00:14:00,491
I didn't know.
If there's some kind
360
00:14:00,622 --> 00:14:02,929
of Afghan sensitivity training
you'd like me to take, I will.
361
00:14:03,059 --> 00:14:06,193
If not, uh, maybe you and I
could develop one online.
362
00:14:07,150 --> 00:14:09,457
Good. I'm glad
we see eye to eye.
363
00:14:09,587 --> 00:14:11,372
[exhales]
And, you know,
364
00:14:11,502 --> 00:14:13,722
apart from the cultural stuff,
365
00:14:13,853 --> 00:14:14,723
I should have known.
366
00:14:14,854 --> 00:14:16,203
You should have.
367
00:14:17,987 --> 00:14:19,510
Known what?
368
00:14:19,641 --> 00:14:21,686
You're living with a beautiful,
talented woman.
369
00:14:21,817 --> 00:14:23,645
It's natural
that you have feelings for her.
370
00:14:23,775 --> 00:14:24,951
How dare you.
371
00:14:25,081 --> 00:14:26,300
That is ridiculous.
372
00:14:26,430 --> 00:14:28,171
Oh, no. I, uh...
373
00:14:28,302 --> 00:14:30,217
I must have misunderstood
the situation again.
374
00:14:30,347 --> 00:14:31,871
I do not have those feelings.
375
00:14:32,001 --> 00:14:33,220
Maybe not
consciously.
376
00:14:33,350 --> 00:14:34,699
Subconsciously, who knows?
377
00:14:34,830 --> 00:14:35,918
I do.
378
00:14:36,049 --> 00:14:37,528
I know.
Riley is like my brother,
379
00:14:37,659 --> 00:14:39,443
which makes Lizzie
practically like my sister.
380
00:14:39,574 --> 00:14:41,402
We are done here.
381
00:14:41,532 --> 00:14:43,578
[exhales]
382
00:14:43,708 --> 00:14:46,189
And what kind of man
has feelings for his sister?
383
00:14:46,320 --> 00:14:47,712
Not this man!
384
00:14:55,198 --> 00:14:57,418
[singsongy]:
Look who's back.
385
00:14:57,548 --> 00:14:59,202
Oh, God.
386
00:15:00,464 --> 00:15:02,075
According to the gang
at the nurses' station,
387
00:15:02,205 --> 00:15:03,598
your surgery went great.
388
00:15:03,728 --> 00:15:05,078
Oh, and if they ask,
I'm your son.
389
00:15:05,208 --> 00:15:06,862
That's the only way
they'd let me in.
390
00:15:08,559 --> 00:15:09,996
So, I was thinking
about what you said. [exhales]
391
00:15:10,126 --> 00:15:11,388
You're wrong.
392
00:15:11,519 --> 00:15:13,260
It's got to be
Holly's fault.[grunts]
393
00:15:13,390 --> 00:15:15,784
When I press this button,
394
00:15:15,915 --> 00:15:19,788
uh, it gives me more painkiller
and I pass out.
395
00:15:19,919 --> 00:15:23,705
So, I'm gonna give you
90 seconds.
396
00:15:24,706 --> 00:15:27,100
Fine. One, I'm in great shape.
397
00:15:27,230 --> 00:15:28,928
Two, never happened
with Vanessa.
398
00:15:29,058 --> 00:15:32,105
Three, every other woman,
no complaints.
399
00:15:32,235 --> 00:15:34,020
Okay, some complaints,
but it was mostly about me
400
00:15:34,150 --> 00:15:36,805
being "emotionally unavailable."
401
00:15:36,936 --> 00:15:40,113
Okay. Were any of these women
special to you?
402
00:15:41,157 --> 00:15:42,724
No.
[exhales]
403
00:15:42,854 --> 00:15:44,291
No.
404
00:15:44,421 --> 00:15:45,857
Nyet.
405
00:15:45,988 --> 00:15:47,511
That was Natasha.
She was a gymnast.
406
00:15:47,642 --> 00:15:48,904
Okay.
407
00:15:49,035 --> 00:15:50,906
Okay, do you think Holly may be
408
00:15:51,037 --> 00:15:53,909
your first actual relationship
since your wife?
409
00:15:54,040 --> 00:15:55,476
Well, I just started
seeing her.
410
00:15:55,606 --> 00:15:58,870
I don't know if I'd use
big words like "relationship."
411
00:15:59,001 --> 00:16:00,481
But...
412
00:16:00,611 --> 00:16:01,482
I guess.
413
00:16:01,612 --> 00:16:02,962
All right. There you go.
414
00:16:03,092 --> 00:16:05,268
It's different. More pressure.
415
00:16:05,399 --> 00:16:08,097
So, what, because I like her,
that's a problem?
416
00:16:09,707 --> 00:16:12,188
Riley, if I ask you
to make a three-foot putt,
417
00:16:12,319 --> 00:16:14,277
do you think you could do it?Sure.
418
00:16:14,408 --> 00:16:16,801
What if there was
a million dollars on it?
419
00:16:16,932 --> 00:16:18,151
[scoffs]
420
00:16:18,281 --> 00:16:20,501
I don't know. Maybe.
421
00:16:20,631 --> 00:16:24,505
See? When there's more on
the line, it's tougher to do.
422
00:16:24,635 --> 00:16:26,202
But I thrive
under pressure.
423
00:16:26,333 --> 00:16:27,638
I've been in combat.
424
00:16:27,769 --> 00:16:29,249
Well, sex ain't combat.
425
00:16:29,379 --> 00:16:31,381
Unless that's her thing.
426
00:16:32,382 --> 00:16:34,994
[sighs deeply]
427
00:16:35,124 --> 00:16:36,865
So how am I supposed
to stop feeling pressure?
428
00:16:36,996 --> 00:16:39,085
Lee Marvin.
429
00:16:40,695 --> 00:16:44,264
I'm sorry. I think
the morphine just kicked in.
430
00:16:46,135 --> 00:16:48,137
Cat Ballou.[sighs]
431
00:16:48,268 --> 00:16:50,183
Dirty Dozen.
432
00:16:50,313 --> 00:16:52,359
E-Ernie Borgnine!
433
00:16:56,276 --> 00:16:57,538
[knocking]
434
00:16:57,668 --> 00:16:58,974
Hey. Al.Yeah.
435
00:16:59,105 --> 00:17:00,323
Can I ask you something?
436
00:17:00,454 --> 00:17:01,281
Of course.
437
00:17:01,411 --> 00:17:03,196
Would you be upset
438
00:17:03,326 --> 00:17:06,373
if I asked your
professor out on a date?
439
00:17:06,503 --> 00:17:08,114
Why would I be upset?
440
00:17:08,244 --> 00:17:11,030
I have no feelings about it
whatsoever.
441
00:17:11,160 --> 00:17:12,335
Really?
442
00:17:12,466 --> 00:17:13,380
None?
443
00:17:13,510 --> 00:17:14,859
None. Why, did he say something?
444
00:17:14,990 --> 00:17:16,339
It's a lie.
445
00:17:17,340 --> 00:17:19,560
No, I-I just don't want
to make things awkward
446
00:17:19,690 --> 00:17:20,648
for you at school.
447
00:17:20,778 --> 00:17:21,649
No, go ahead.
448
00:17:21,779 --> 00:17:23,433
It makes no difference to me.
449
00:17:23,564 --> 00:17:25,218
You sure?Absolutely.
450
00:17:26,349 --> 00:17:28,264
Great. Thanks.
451
00:17:30,527 --> 00:17:31,702
You're taking things out
of the dryer
452
00:17:31,833 --> 00:17:33,052
and putting them
in the washer.
453
00:17:33,182 --> 00:17:34,836
Don't tell me how
to do my laundry.
454
00:17:40,885 --> 00:17:42,539
[rock music playing]
455
00:17:42,670 --> 00:17:43,584
Hey.
456
00:17:43,714 --> 00:17:45,238
Hey! Where
you been?
457
00:17:45,368 --> 00:17:47,979
Sorry I didn't answer
your texts.
458
00:17:49,285 --> 00:17:51,418
[quietly]: I'm sorry
about the other night.
459
00:17:51,548 --> 00:17:53,159
What are you sorry about?
460
00:17:53,289 --> 00:17:54,421
We had fun.
461
00:17:54,551 --> 00:17:57,337
Yeah, but we didn't
have all the fun.
462
00:17:57,467 --> 00:17:59,252
It happens.
463
00:18:02,516 --> 00:18:03,560
Not to me.
464
00:18:04,909 --> 00:18:07,173
I think it's 'cause,
with other girls,
465
00:18:07,303 --> 00:18:08,739
it was like...
466
00:18:08,870 --> 00:18:11,133
I had my car keys in my hand
the whole time.
467
00:18:11,264 --> 00:18:13,222
I don't remember names,
I don't remember faces...
468
00:18:13,353 --> 00:18:16,095
Boy, I hope this was not
a prepared speech.
469
00:18:16,225 --> 00:18:18,749
I'm sorry. I don't
know what I'm saying.
470
00:18:18,880 --> 00:18:21,448
This... is not a big deal.
471
00:18:21,578 --> 00:18:23,276
It is.
472
00:18:24,233 --> 00:18:25,974
It's like golf.
473
00:18:26,105 --> 00:18:28,411
Even if you're a pro, it's hard
to sink a three-foot putt
474
00:18:28,542 --> 00:18:30,065
with a million
bucks on the line.
475
00:18:30,196 --> 00:18:32,285
So, in this metaphor,
476
00:18:32,415 --> 00:18:34,069
you're the pro?
477
00:18:34,200 --> 00:18:36,724
And you're the million bucks.
478
00:18:37,986 --> 00:18:40,119
I like hanging out with you.
479
00:18:40,249 --> 00:18:42,164
So how 'bout we keep hanging out
480
00:18:42,295 --> 00:18:44,427
and we don't worry
about the rest?
481
00:18:45,776 --> 00:18:48,562
And how long are you
gonna be happy with that?
482
00:18:48,692 --> 00:18:49,954
I don't know.
483
00:18:50,085 --> 00:18:52,435
But I do know the happiest
I've been all week
484
00:18:52,566 --> 00:18:54,263
is when you walked
through that door.
485
00:18:55,525 --> 00:18:56,787
Damn it.
486
00:18:56,918 --> 00:18:59,442
When it works,
you're in for a treat.
487
00:19:06,145 --> 00:19:08,147
[doorbell rings][cheering on TV]
488
00:19:08,277 --> 00:19:10,018
I'll get it.You sure?
489
00:19:10,149 --> 00:19:12,455
'Cause I was just
about to get up.
490
00:19:15,763 --> 00:19:16,851
Hello, Mr. Karimi.
491
00:19:16,981 --> 00:19:18,374
Hello, Professor.
492
00:19:18,505 --> 00:19:19,854
Can I talk to you for a minute?
493
00:19:19,984 --> 00:19:21,290
Sure.Ah.
494
00:19:25,381 --> 00:19:28,689
Before you say anything,
Lizzie initiated this date.
495
00:19:28,819 --> 00:19:31,735
And I spoke to HR about it
and they said it was okay,
496
00:19:31,866 --> 00:19:33,650
which-- trust me--
they do not always do.
497
00:19:33,781 --> 00:19:35,174
Mm. Oh.
498
00:19:35,304 --> 00:19:37,350
I know. And I'm
perfectly happy for you.
499
00:19:37,480 --> 00:19:39,352
I just want you to know
that you were wrong
500
00:19:39,482 --> 00:19:41,702
when you accused me of
having secret feelings.
501
00:19:41,832 --> 00:19:44,183
Well, not secret--
subconscious feelings.
502
00:19:44,313 --> 00:19:47,795
It is you who has those
feelings for Lizzie, not me.
503
00:19:47,925 --> 00:19:49,362
It's called projection.
504
00:19:50,406 --> 00:19:52,191
That's right.
I read ahead.
505
00:19:53,496 --> 00:19:54,541
Hey.
506
00:19:55,933 --> 00:19:56,804
You ready to go?
507
00:19:56,934 --> 00:19:58,414
Absolutely.
508
00:19:59,459 --> 00:20:01,025
Have so much fun!
509
00:20:01,156 --> 00:20:02,244
Or don't.
510
00:20:02,375 --> 00:20:04,333
I don't care.
511
00:20:08,859 --> 00:20:12,211
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512
00:20:15,344 --> 00:20:18,347
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513
00:20:18,397 --> 00:20:22,947
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