All language subtitles for The Landlord (Ashby, Hal 1970)_BDRip.720p.x264.AAC_EN

1,2,3.

Now, children,

how do we live?

Elgar?

Thank you, Heywood.

Ahh.

It's just that I get the feeling

that we're all...

I mean, everybody...

Black, white, yellow,

democrat, communist, Republicans,

old people, young people, whatever...

Only the finest thing in my shop, girl.

Which one of y'all is next?

I may close this place
with this child here.

We're all like abunch of ants... see?

See, the strongest drive
we have as a true life-force

is to gain territory.

Gash, you're gorgeous.

Where do you live, baby?

Ahem.

> It's a brand new day

> brand new way

I've never done anything...

I mean, anything quite like this before.

I've always wanted to do it

because everybody wants his own home,

and I've never had a place of my own.

> Last night I had a dream that the world

> was changing by leaps and bounds

> it started up in the bigger cities

> then it spread to the smaller towns

> the people began to smile at people

> They'd never even seen

> and when Jeremiah woke me up

> I was ready to live that dream

> it's a brand new day

So like hart crane the poet,

who's also a cancerian..

See, I'm a cancerian.

And home is very important,

but we never seem to make it.

Se, uh...

Meney's never been the problem.

> Bow our heads together

> and see where we go from there

> we've got to fight for what we believe in

> fight until the end

> it's a brand new day

> it's a brand new way

> brand new way

> brand new day

> brand new way!

So, shit, I bought this house.

Actually, it's a tenement house.

It's in this ghetto area.

> Twenty million shadows
storming at the gates

> how can you be surprised?

> With the image of our fallen king

> reflected in our eyes

> And though twenty million tongues
are shouting now

> it's only heard by a precious few

> but the years of night will pass forever

> when the sun comes shinin' through

> on a brand new day

> it's a brand new way

ok, its brend new day!

I just want to get all
the Goddamn tenants out

and rip it out.

It's an old house. Lots of molding.

> It's a brand new way

> a brand new day

> uh-huh

> brand new day

> yeah, a brand new day

> yeah, I wonder if you know

> what I'm talkin' about

> you better check yourself

> get it together now...

I want to rip out all the floors

all the way up to the skylight, see,

and then recess the floors
50 you have balconies,

and then hang this big Goddamn modern,

spectacular, psychedelic,
son-of-a-bitchin' fight

from the ceiling. Is that beautiful?

Bon ton heights

will start a trend in
urban renewal, Mr. Enders.

Restored landmarks will be
the latest scream, I'm sure.

I hope your seeing Mr. Farcus'
place going so well

will inspire you to feel
rosy about your new place.

My, my. Shopping without stopping.

Oh, Mr. Farcus. Enid.

Street music. Isn't it marvelous?

This is Mr, Enders.

He's your new neighbor.

Uh, I'm Elgar Enders.
I'm your new neighbor.

He just bought a house in the next block,

Your house is just great.

It's just fantastic.

This neighborhood's going to be very chic.

Let's hope this influx
of the beautiful people

is the beginning of an inclination, huh?

What the hell is that? What is that?

Eviction powder.

Eviction powder? What's eviction powder?

Oh, it's nothing, Mr. Enders.

Just a little voodoo.

Ha ha ha!

Only $25, man!

You're lying!

You're lying, man!

I woke up one morning, man,

I thought I was in the wrong house.

Ha ha ha!

He was causing trouble the night before.

Here comes the white tornado.

Hey, man!

What's goin' on?

You got two little pedals down there.

One's a brake.

That thing you got your hand on,

that's a gear shift lever.

Oh! No good.

No good, my man.

Turn off the car, man.

Get out the car. Uh-oh!

We're gonna have to watch out for this.

What is this we have here?

Oh...

Come closer.

Heh heh heh!

I'm Elgar Enders, the new landlord.

You the new landlord?

He the new landlord, man.

The new landlord, man.

You don't shake my hand?

I just want to...

I'll put your flower in the house.

Tl take your flower in the house for you.

I'm gonna take your flower
in the house for you.

Put it down right there.

Yeah, that's it.

Oh!

Look at this tie!

Whoo!

D'Artagnan's gonna strike again!

Aah!

Did you see that cat move cut, man?

Hey, kids, here's your big chance.

To pick up that specially priced

10... that's right... 10-record set.

Of 200 current underground hits,

as played by the exciting,
dynamic Clyde Davis band.

That's right.

200 hits for just $1.75,

incredible as it sounds,

while this offer lasts.

Just send check or money order.

To "Davis hits, box 5152,
battle creek, Michigan."

Groovy!

Who are you?

Walter Gee Copee. My name's Walter Gee.

You the new landlord?

Yeah,

Give me $2.00.

What?

I said you oughta give me $2.00.

What the hell for?

If you let me hold $2.00,

Tl let you take me home.

If not, I'll call the pigs.

You will, huh?

Gimme, sport!

Help!

All right! Shut up now!

Cigarette, pops?

Does your mother know you smoke?

No.

Home, landlord.

Bye, landlord!

Hold it right there, honky!

Who's that?

Now turn around and march your buns out

before I shoot 'em out from under you.

Why are you pointing that at me?

'Cause my horoscope told me
that evil was coming today,

and, Marge, here it is.

Get movin' or else you'll
have no hips to lean on.

I own this house. I'm the new landlord.

And I'm & wren tit. Move it!

If you're a landlord,

how come you ain't got no door keys?

I have door keys.

You know, you look like a rapist to me.

You got funny eyes.

That's ridiculous.

If you're figuring on

carrying out a sexual attack on me,

you better learn the karate boogaloo

'cause we gonna tangle ass
right here in this hall.

Tam the new landlord,

and you're disregarding your lease

by practicing whatever you're
practicing here with these readings.

I'll have you thrown out.

If you want to shoot, go ahead and shoot.

That'll be running an illegal business,

nonpayment of rent,

and manslaughter.

Little thing like you, landlord?

Yeah. Let's see how much
back rent you owe, all right?

Is that you right there?

Huh?

Two months back rent You owe me.

All here in this book.

You look like you could use some food.

Come on, landlord.

Let's eat.

Old Duboise upstairs, always up in my face,

talking about being some college president.

College president?

Wouldn't sweep the hall
if his life depended on it.

College president.

Sure. Some college across town,

I never heard of no college

selling degrees for $50.

Then there's the unearthly Cumbersons.

Unearthly?

Yeah,

They've been here about 25 years.

Ain't nobody seen them but twice.

How's that for being ominous?

Uh, that's, uh...

That's impossible.

It would be if they were alive.

Alive?

Oh, they is.

I hear 'em rollin' around downstairs.

Listen, you should've
been here this morning

for the tenants association rent strike.

What rent strike?

Don't worry. It won't happen.

Wait. Are you sure?

How they gonna get a rent strike?

Ain't nobody paid rent
long as I can remember.

Of course, um.

There could be a back rent strike.

But you wouldn't get that, either.

That would go to Mr. Lipschultz.

That's the old landlord,

Nobody ever paid him any rent?

Poor soul.

Lord knows who'll get it

now that he's passed away.

He passed away?

Rat.

Big as a dog.

Chased him in the broom closet.

Nobody ever go in the broom closet.

I think he was in there about three months.

How do you Ofays

find your way into owning these rat traps?

What do you do,

give them as bar mitzvah presents?

Gotta have more gun control.

You want some more eggs?

Marge, would you mind
putting that gun away?

Don't worry.

You came my way so I could protect you,

though I know you'll only
repay me with suffering.

Don't say that.

Hey, Marge!

Marge, have you seen some white man

prowling around here...

You.

It was you.

It was me?

Don't deny it, degenerate.

You gave my little Walter gee money.

Now he's sick on cigarettes.

I found him sick down in
the cellar chain-smoking,

so I know some child
molester gave him money.

Why do you let him smoke?

You must know he could get cancer.

I'm busy frying hair all day.

I can't watch everything he does.

What? You're frying hair in this building?

I don't have a license for frying hair.

He ain't got no license for frying hair.

Find your own neighborhood
and do hair... queenie.

I'm not a hairdresser.

You better believe it.

Fanny.

He's the new landlord.

That's right.

The new landlord.

The new landlord.

Oh, lord, ain't this a shame?

Matter of fact, I'm glad we met.

Your name is, uh..

Mrs. Copee.

Right.

My husband's been ill.

Mrs. Copee...

He has this nervous condition,

He has headaches, too.

The doctor said he
should have his own room.

Four months' back rent.

Is that possible?

Oh, anything's possible, sugar.

Anyway, we took him
to the wills eye hospital

because he's got this twitch,

but it wasn't his eyes.

What was it?

It was his nerves.

That's, uh...

That's understandable, Mrs. Copee.

It is?

Look, why don't we go down to my place

50 we can discuss this at length?

If you wish.

Promise me you won't smoke anymore.

I promise.

What's that?

Uh, bye.

I think, uh...

Walter gee!

Walter gee, you come back here.

Hey, Duboise, what's happening?

Hello, Fanny.

Copee in trouble with the pigs again?

This ain't no pig this time, sugar.

This is the new landlord.

Landlord...

Professor Duboise.

Professor Duboise, how do you do?

I swear, he thinks

the lord put white people con this earth

as a punishment.

Of course, I don't hold

with no sacrilegious talk like that.

Mm-hmm.

Why don't you put some
air conditioning in here?

Oh, uh...

You have some complaints, Mrs. Copee?

You're serious?

Uh... yeah.

I sure do.

Sit.

I'll just, uh...

Ahem.

Now...

Uh... what specific complaints

do you have, Mrs. Copee?

Well, we need a new plastering job,

a new paint job.

The oven door's broke.

The roof leaks,

the toilet runs all day,

and you awful cute to be a landlord.

You said the, uh...

The roof, uh... runs,

and the toilet... Toilet leaks.

Mmm.

If you didn't sweat so much,

nobody'd take you for a landlord.

You could pass for a human being.

That's not a very nice
thing to say, Mrs. Copee,

because I intend to be a good landlord

as long as you're here.

What you mean, as long as I'm here?

Who's that you got there with you?

Oh, it's the new landlord.

That's my husband.

Ah.

Now, uh...

About the rent, Mrs. Copee,

are you...

Landlord...

These arrows have been dipped

in Fanny's barbecue sauce

50 as to make death slow...

And more agonizing

to its unfortunate victim.

Landlord,

you have until the count of three

to vacate these premises.

1...

2...

3!

You son of a bitch.

You make one more crack about my spareribs,

and I'll bust your head.

Oh, you shut up.

I thought I told you

about putting your drum in the living room.

Oh, mother...

I'm sorry.

It's my only chance.

I got Italian class after this.

Then your father... Oh, God.

Keep talking. I hear you.

From the top. 1.2..

About my house, mother.

What house, dear?

I'm in love with this house.

1,2..

3,4,5,6.

Don't do that, dear.

You're throwing me off.

I'm just trying to help you.

I've invested in real estate.

You have invested in real estate?

Oscar.

Oscar.

Yes. Yes.

Yes, Joyce.

Oscar.

Darling, listen,

will you forgive me?

Oscar, I promise you,

we'll dance our brains out
tomorrow at 10:00.

Without interruption.

Practice pushing.

Pushing.

I will, ciao.

Ciao, darling.

Uh-huh.

Insufferable dance Goddess.

He thinks the sun rises and sets on rhythm.

"Rhythm, rhythm.”

All right, dear. Quickly.

What are you talking about?

What investment?

Pour me some of that.

What is that, Brandy?

Oh,

God.

What's the matter?

You looked like your
father when he was little.

Aw, Joyce, for Christ's sake.

You're drunk and upset.

Why?

This house, this real estate,
is very important to me.

It's the most important
thing I've ever done.

I'm a cancerian... Home's very important.

You're a Leo.

No, I'm a cancer.

When were you born?

The 15th of July.

Son of a bitch.

When was I born?

Mother!

Foul-mouth.

Little foul-mouth.

Mother, don't do that.

You have 15 minutes.

Then it's my Italian class,

which I'm not giving up

to argue with you about dates.

You see that, my darling pussycat?

What you did is bad.

There's an iron curtain
in this house, mother.

Will you tell me what you're talking about?

I'm talking about doing what I want to do.

Do it... out there in the guest house.

I can't do it out in the guest house.

The way you look at me when I bare my guts,

you think I'm off my rocker.

I don't think any such modem thing.

Why don't you take up the banjo,

write folk songs...

Something you can do in your room?

Get a bath.

Get yourself together.

And wash everywhere.

Oh, your sister's invited
Peter Cootes for dinner.

Your brother and his wife...
What's her name?

They're coming in from Westport.

Peter who?

Peter Cootes.

You know Peter Cootes.

Oh. The Peter Cootes.

Of course.

Don't get smart.

Get dressed, huh?

And comb your hair.

Al right?

Yeah,

Bird!

I just want to say, Elgar,

that I'm proud of you.

I'm glad you're my brother
and not somebody else's.

Well, it's a great house.

I think somebody's

got to begin to integrate.

I can't. I don't have the stomach for it.

But to think...

That I have a really forward-looking,

devil-may-care revolutionary for my brother

makes me feel right in the swing of things.

I just hope you don't get shot.

Susan, God.

Have your people planned any rallies

or marches or anything like that?

Bird!

Elgar, would you do me a fantastic favor?

Whatever you do,

don't talk about spades to poor Peter.

What do you mean?

With the napalm and all that,

he's very sensitive about the new left.

And, Elgar...

What?

I love him,

Bird!

Elgar!

My God, what are you two burning up here?

What is that?

Uh... my socks caught on fire.

Your socks caught on fire.

Well, put them out

and get downstairs, the both of you.

Peter's getting bored.

Taste good?

God, I'd love a little den somewhere.

Susan, dear, you cannot go on

falling down the stairs like this.

Tell me a proper way
to fall down the stairs,

I'll try to do it.

Susu, you really must get a checkup.

This could be a case
of lack of coordination.

Maybe it's cerebral palsy.

Could be you're smoking too much.

Young man, I'll not have you

talking against the tobacco
industry in this house.

Have you bought into tobacco, Mr. Enders?

Mr. Cootes...

In some circles,

you might say I am tobacco.

That's really cool, Mr, Enders.

Uh, we're napalm.

Is that all?

No.

We're, uh...

Insecticide

and deodorant and, uh...

Mom.

Mom.

Susu. Dad.

Susu. Dad.

Sorry we're late, gang,

but the traffic...

Ch, God, the traffic...

Peter, I'd like you to meet my son.

Susu talks of no one else.

That's all she talks about...

Elgar, Elgar, Elgar.

William Jr.

William Jr.

Peter.

No, no, no. That's Elgar.

I'm William Jr.

This is William Jr.

Why don't we all go In to dinner.

William Jr.?

Come along, Doris.

Mmm.

Mmm.

Mm.

Mm.

Oh. Sorry, dad.

Thank you, son.

To you.

Thank you, dad.

Dad.

Hmm?

I know I'm not supposed to say this,

but William Jr. has a surprise for you.

Surprise?

Surprise, dad.

What surprise?

William Jr. has been promoted

to head the New York office.

Yes, dad,

I'm heading the New York office.

Well, William Jr.,

it's no more than I expected of you.

Elgar,

did you hear that?

I'm not deaf, dad.

Elgar, answer your father.

Did you hear?

Yeah, I heard him.

What are you up to, Elgar?

Elgar's bought some real estate,

haven't you, Elgar?

Susan.

Where is this real estate, Elgar?

The park slope area, William Jr.

It's 2 miles south

of the Dodd-Sears townhouse
on Concord street.

Susan, take the clip out of your hair.

2 miles south...

Park slope.

Park slope?

Good God.

Elgar, are you aware that, uh...

That's a colored neighborhood?

Colored neighborhood.

I'm three doors from mom's
chitlin 'n' rib joint.

Oh, Elgar.

We will not discuss

the revolting aspects of
your business venture,

if you don't mind.

What's it all about, folks?

Well, Peter, um...

You might as well hear,

since you're likely to marry my sister,

if she hasn't told you already.

Told me what?

Elgar, don't you dare.

We can't keep it secret all our lives.

You want to hear the truth,

It involves you and Susan.

What are you talking about?

Peter, actually, uh...

Our whole family...

Mom, Susu, dad, William Jr.,

and grandfather here...

We are all..

Octoroons.

What an ugly thing to say.

I'm offended.

Octoroon?

Heywood and Edith are
our poor dark relations.

Elgar!

Would you please explain your conduct

at this table tonight?

Darling, come on, apologize.

He makes napalm and deodorant.

And insecticide,

You lazy,

no-good liberal.

Shall I serve the fish...

What?

Oh. Yes, bring in the fish... please.

Let me tell you something, Mr. Lincoln.

If you march into this house

with an armful of pickaninnies,

the best you can expect from me

will be a swift kick in the ass!

Mr. Enders, you forgot to finish your soup.

Uh! I'm just too upset, Edith.

Edith, bring in

some of that wonderful
trout of yours, please.

I think that'll help everything.

Thank you.

Lord, Mr. Elgar,

you sure love Edith's cold potato soup.

You want some more, sir?

That's the last straw!

That's all right, folks.

There's plenty more soup in the kitchen

if anybody wants any.

Elgar, get out of this room!

Go!

Do you know what NAACP means?

No, Elgar. What does it mean?

It means, "niggers ain't
always colored people."

What does he mean by that?

He called us niggers.

Us?

Heywood.

Knock it off.

Rita, I just want to talk to you.

No. Ne, I don't.

I just want to...

Rite? I want to talk...

Sally, the thing that amazes me the most

is that my parents don't understand

that they are totally,
totally antichristian.

Please, Elgar, I'm sorry.

I don't have time to talk to you.

It's not like I come
around with my problems...

I have to make festoons
for the "worthy causes' ball.

I just want to come in for a few minutes.

Let me come in for a few minutes.

Who's that?

He's, um.

He's helping me with the festoons.

Oh,

Ahem.

Yeah, well, till I see you again,

have a merry Christmas

and happy new year,

happy Halloween,

and screw you, too.

Hey, you know that peace symbol thing

you got hanging around your neck...

Shove it up your ass.

> Let me love you, baby

> I want to love you now

> close your eyes and shut off the light

> let me show you how

> in a second you will understand

> the way I feel

> everything you've ever wanted

> everything is real

> let me love

> let me love you, baby

> let me love you now

> oh, let me love you, baby

> let me show you how

> I'll show you how

> whoa, let me love you

> whoa!

Uh, hi.

Hi.

Uh, I'm Elgar.

My name's Lanie.

Would you like to dance?

Fantastic!

What's fantastic?

You, your being here, it's fantastic.

Are you with V.I.S.T.A?

Is this some sort of new program?

V.I.S.T.A.

Right.

Volunteers in service to America,

Volunteers, huh?

You think I'm white, don't you?

On, tha...

That's...

That's...

Well, how was I supposed to know?

If it's that important,
you should've asked.

No, it's not that important.

Well, OK OK

Let's just keep dancing.

Well, my mother's Irish,

my, uh, father's black,

and they got divorced

when I was, uh... 16 years old.

The courts said I should spend
the winters with my father

when I was going to school.

In the summer, I, uh, lived with my mother.

So in the summer I was white,

and... and in the winter...

I was black.

God, what did that do to you?

I got very wise.

So, why do you work there?

What do you mean,

why do I work there?

It, uh...

It's a bar,

Well, I like it, and, uh...

And what?

And?

Come on, and what?

And nothing.

So if I walk up to you

and I say,

"I recognize you,"

then, uh...

Then what?

We recognize...

Recognize something

that we've always known.

I guess that doesn't make too much sense,

does It?

How old are you?

29,

You're 29 years old,

and you still live at home?

It's a big house.

Ch, no house is that big.

Well, come on, let's go.

Where?

To my place.

You sure it's all right?

It's all right, Elgar,

but tomorrow you have to go home.

Come on, Elgar,

I have a class at 1:00.

How old are you?

24.

24?

25,

25,

I'm 26 years old.

I believed you when you said you were 24.

You did?

Yeah,

In here!

Landlord, in here.

Come on.

Duboise, will you move.

Come on, hurry up.

There's water running all over my kitchen.

Oh, my goodness!

You're making more mess than we got.

What are...

What in the hell are you doing?

Is that OK?

Fine, Thanks.

OK?

OK.

OK?

OK, OK.

Mr. Cumberson!

I want to know if your bell works.

Come on.

I know he's in there,

Oh, yeah. I'll bet.

Oh, come on, please.

If you don't want your bell fixed, fine.

Al right?

All right, forget it.

I should be getting the plans back

from the building department soon.

As soon as everybody can
find a new place to live,

I can start with most of the heavy work.

Uh, Marge,

how am I going to get
everybody out of here?

I wouldn't sit on a hot stove

till it happens.

Hey, landlord!

Hey! How are you?

I just thought I'd come by

and see your house.

Now, in here,

I'm going to rip all this out here,

see, straight through to the skylight.

In that area, I'll hang a big chandelier.

Right.

And here I'm going to put a patio.

Don't step on this stuff.

Lots of used brick

and maybe some tubs of flowers

along the wall here.

And then...

Right here in this corner,

I thought it'd be wild

if we had some kind of fantastic sculpture.

That'd be very nice.

Or maybe a birdbath.

A birdbath,

Guess what?

What?

They're having a rent party for me tonight.

Can you come?

I can't. I'll be dancing tonight.

Oh, God. I'm late for the dentist.

I got to go.

Why are you going to the dentist?

I got this wicked tooth back here.

I've only had one cavity in my whole life.

They can use silver if you'd rather.

Can I give you a ride?

His office is just a
couple blocks from here.

This your car?

Yeah, Yeah.

Can I call you tomorrow?

OK

Bye-bye.

Bye.

Hey! What the hell

you doing on the toilet?

Hey!

Hojambo.

Meaning "welcome,” provided, of course,

you have the necessary requisite... $2.00.

Professor.

Thank you.

How you doing?

Monsieur landlord. $5.00.

$5.00?

You aren't real, professor.

Not qualifying as a spook

or hallucination,

I assure you, sir,

I'm a bit more real than you are.

Hold it, everybody!

Hold it now!

Here he is.

Here he is,

our guest of honor...

Our wonderful and new landlord.

Hi.

He, uh, uh...

Now listen.

You don't bother him,

and he won't bother you.

I'll get you a drink.

Do it! Do it!

Do it! Do it!

Whoo!

Do it! Do it!

Do it! Do it!

Do it! Do it!

Whoo!

Whoo!

Form a circle!

Whoo!

Now, children,

how do we live?

Elgar.

Black.

Black.

Black.

Black.

Black, baby.

Black.

Baby, black is a whole new thing.

And you're going to have to reckon with it.

Is it a fad, though?

See, that's the thing.

Man, that is not the thing.

It's like you got a mole.

You got a mole right here.

And you'll do anything...

To get rid of this mole.

Because everybody
that doesn't have moles...

Got you to believe it's real ugly.

So you'd do anything.

You'd hide your face.

Anything...

Walk in backwards...

You'd do everything.

Anything.

Then one day...

One day...

One day...

Moles are in.

Moles are in.

People are getting out
their eyebrow pencil...

Marking them on, and you've got one...

Naturally...

Right in the middle of your forehead.

You'll know what pride
is for the first time.

For the first time.

You whiteys screaming
about miscegenation...

And you done watered down

every race you ever hated.

Have mercy, baby.

Have mercy.

Have mercy, have mercy.

Have mercy!

Have mercy, baby.

Have mercy.

Have mercy.

What's the matter?

You sick?

Ooh! You ought to be ashamed of yourself.

Come on.

Huh?

I said come on.

You got any mouthwash? Ha ha.

In the bathroom.

Back there.

Right back there?

Uh-huh.

Where's Copee?

Aw, he's in jail.

How come he's in jail?

Huh?

How come Copee's in jail?

Oh, he had another demonstration today.

Seems like they're putting
everybody in jail nowadays.

Hmm?

I said it seems like

everybody's going to jail nowadays,

especially Copee.

When did it happen?

This morning.

I don't know. It all just
seems so strange to me.

I look at Copee sometimes, and I wonder...

How did we get ourselves into this?

Well, I was miss sepia, 1957.

What's that?

Well, that's like miss America

or miss New York...

Except in color.

There's my trophy over there,

What, this?

Uh-huh.

Francine Marie Johnson,

miss sepia, 1957.

Ha.

My mother had it made into a lamp

for me for Christmas.

I liked it better when it was a cup.

Ha ha ha.

But anyway, as I was saying,

it sure has been hard on me
since Copee turned black.

Turned black?

Yeah. He was Sioux Indian for two years.

And little Walter gee...

He gets so confused.

He doesn't know what to think.

You know, I thought...

I thought about going to Chicago.

Maybe California.

Go into the movies or...
Go on TV or something.

I'm sure tired of doing heads.

Do you think I look
good enough to be on TV?

I think you look fantastic.

Yeah, well, you wouldn't know it by Copee.

He thinks I should be blacker,

That's ridiculous.

Why is that ridiculous?

Because you're beautiful.

It's just the red light.

Ohh...

What's the matter?

Oh, wait a second.

Oh, God. My head's killing me.

You feel anything?

Well, you haven't got a fever.

What you got there?

Excedrin.

You got a headache, too?

> Let him hold you

> let him touch you

> soon you'll understand

> while he makes you

> into a woman

> he becomes

> your man

> The tenderness

> you learn to love

> as memories rush

> through your head

> you'll make her feel

> just like a woman

> while you become

> her man

Elgar.

Elgar...

This doesn't mean anything.

Because I love Copee.

Lanie!

Hi. Come on in.

I just don't understand

your sudden interest in
those kind of people, dear.

I mean, we're all liberals, but...

Open hybridization...

I'm their landlord till they get relocated.

Well, I don't understand.

Red ball!

Oh,

I think there's something

that you should know, mother.

What's that, dear?

I think I love a girl who's a negro.

Elgar, let's go for a little drive.

I want to talk to you.

Uh, daddy...

Yes?

We're going for a drive.
Something's come up.

Elgar,

a lot of these people... Not all...

There's good black people as
well as good white people.

I've always taught you that.

But some live to set traps
for rich white women.

I'm not a rich white woman, mother.

I know that, dear.

I didn't mean that. You
know I didn't mean that.

Didn't we all go together

to see Guess Who's Coming to Dinner?

Yeah,

It's just, Elgar, you have to realize

all Negroes are not like that.

You sound like a segregationist.

I think you have a castration complex.

You have a castration complex.
I can't have one.

It isn't physically possible.

A castration complex is one of the crosses

a liberated female must bear!

You think I'm a liberator, dear?

Joyce, you are a liberated,

aggressive, butch American broad.

Doesn't mean I don't love you.

What does it mean, dear?

It means I'm going to do what
I want with my damn life.

So...

You're going to marry a negress. Ha ha.

You'll be happy to hear she's very light.

Son, do me a favor. Make sure.

Oh, mother. I don't care.

Don't you understand?

Why don't you come down to my house

and help me plan what to do?

Me, your castrated mother?

What could I possibly do to help?

Just help me plan it.

You can pick out the drapes, uh, wallpaper,

stuff like that.

Huh?

Huh?

You only have to ask, dear.

That's all you've ever had to do.

And don't worry about that girl, dear.

If she's putting you on,

she's most likely only Jewish.

Heywood, I shouldn't be long.

Let's go. Let's go.

Come on. Go on, go on!

If you're from the police,
they got him already.

Uh...

I beg your pardon?

I'm Mrs, Enders.

Oh,

The landlord's wife?

Ha ha ha. Well, thank you very much.

I'm his mother.

Oh!

Ha ha.

I didn't get your name.

Marge.

Just call me Marge.

Marge.

What's your name, dear?

Same as my son's... Enders.

Oh,

Ha ha ha.

What's your first name?

Joyce.

Nice.

What you got there, Joyce?

Oh...

Oh, I was just browsing
through house beautiful

and I came across this material for drapes.

I thought I'd drop over
and measure the windows

and have some made up for Elgar

for a housewarming gift, but...

Isn't that thoughtful? I sew,

You do?

Mm-hmm. I made all the designs

for Ruby Randall's fashion
show at the rock of ages.

You did?

Mm-hmm. Sit down and drink your wine

before the ice cubes melt.

From the looks of this apartment,

I would say the water comes in secondhand.

Mmm.

Good. Very good.

Try this. This'll tear your head off.

Why does it foam like that?

Is that carbonated?

Uh-uh,

It's just ruthless.

It's ruthless!

Listen, would you like a little lunch?

I got some ham hocks, same Greens...

I never eat lunch. It's my own diet. Never,

Honey...

You better sit down and have some lunch.

How you white folks
going to defend yourself

if you don't eat?

Ha ha ha ha!

What is that?

Pot liquor.

Pot? Pot Li...

Pot. Pot liquor.

Uh, juice from the Greens.

Oh!

Puts lead in your pencil.

Lead in my pencil?

Oh, ho ho!

Ha ha ha ha! Ha ha ha ha!

Mmm! Oh, boy.

Joyce,

you could get at those
hocks a little better

if you take your gloves off.

Oh, God. My gloves!

Ah... actually, I've taken up reimbodiment.

Reimbodiment?

What's that?

You'll never guess.

Ha.

Don't count on it.

Oh, yes!

I have something to tell you.

I did something very naughty this morning.

You did? What did you do?

Guess.

You dirtied on the floor.

Ha! Ah ha!

No!

No!

God!

Well, now, give me two more guesses.

Hell no!

Hoo hoo!

Ha ha ha. Ha ha ha.

Ohh...

Tell us,

Oh, it's funny.

What?

Forget... What I did this morning.

Isn't that funny?

It's a wonder you remember
where you are, honey.

You on your second jug.

Let me pour you another little nip here.

It wasn't important anyway.

No.

Se, uh...

As I was saying.

You know...

Twas very... popular

when I was young.

And all the young men were so attractive,

Oh!

Oh, God.

And my husband...

Tell us,

I can't remember which one I married.

Last night I... I, uh...

Elgar, what's bothering you?

Nothing.

What do you mean, nothing?

Ah, just, uh...

Elgar, say it.

Shit.

Now what is the matter?

I forgot my lucky number again.

18,

18,

18,

And your note... Your note is e-flat.

> Whoo

More. More...

When do I hit this note?

You hit it anytime you like.

It's yours.

> Ooh

> ooh... ooh

Mmm... mmm.

Listen, now, now, now,

don't you worry about it, baby.

I'll make the drapes and...

I'll... get the material.

Won't charge nothing like the decorator.

I don't know how to thank you. Here.

That's all right.

Here, take this charger plate, honey.

Get what you need. Just... I...

Take... a swatch of that
material and get what you want.

I'm going home. God... Wherever that is.

Ohh...

Want me to wrap up a couple
of these ham hacks for you?

Uh, no. I'll just, uh...

Put 'em in my bag.

Well, all right, honey.

Since you enjoyed them so much.

Here. Take three. I got plenty more.

Stay cool, Marge.

Mm-hmm. Can you make it down?

Stay cool.

Hey... wood!

My mouth is so dry.

Why is my mouth 50 dry?

Ohh...

Hi.

Hi. How are you?

Hi. Got a lot of reservations?

Yeah. We're going to have a lot.

Good.

Anytime you leave perfume, lipstick,

anything like that around, man,

you know, like, nobody sees it.

I don't understand it.
Chicks just go blind.

Try, um, miss thing.

She had a date last night.

Miss thing, you seen my perfume?

I think we ought to check her pocketbook.

No, I don't think you'd
better check my pocketbook!

Give this pocketbook to me.

Oh, look at her.

Listen, you raggedy ass black bitch,

don't you mess with me.

Listen, you high-yellow heifer,

you have to get a lot
blacker and a lot badder

to stand there and call me a black bitch.

Get something straightened out, honey.

'Cause you got one of them
little blue-eyed wonders

don't mean a fucking thing to me.

> You can't account for 40 hours

> in a 24-hour day...

> You be dirty

> you're gonna be dirty

> baby

> yeah, yeah

> you be dirty

> you're gonna be dirty

> baby

> whoa, yeah

> you be dirty

> what kind of man are you?

> Baby

> do me, do me right

> what kinda man are you

> baby

> to stay out all night long?

You're early.

Yeah,

What's the matter?

Huh?

Nothing.

Nothing.

Nothing?

What, uh...

I quit my job.

You quit your job?

That's right.

What are you going to do?

I don't know what I'm going to do, Elgar.

I just don't know, 50 leave me alone!

Hey, w-what happened?

Did something happen?

What's the matter?

Going to tell me what's wrong?

So, my dear,

if we can raise 150,000 for
Laura's thing next month,

we've got the cooperation of St.
Andrews and that whole bunch.

Joyce, darling, Lily's being
moved to mercy hospital.

It locks very bad.

It's a matter of time.

Oh, poor Lily!

I don't see what that has to do with it.

She's not on the committee.

I know, but if Lily passes away, dear,

the funeral will be an absolute must.

Joyce, isn't that Elgar coming in?

Oh, thank God.

Elgar!

Elgar.

Uh, Elgar!

What is this costume?

Did you come all the way
here to embarrass me?

Who is that? Is that bunny Oliver?

No, mother, this is Lanie.

I told you about Lanie.

What did you tell me?

That I thought Twas in love.

Come meet Mr. and Mrs.
Dory and their daughter

all the way from Virginia.

Excuse me, dear. So nice to meet you.

Mother, screw Mr. and Mrs.
Dory and their daughter,

and screw Virginia!

Mother, your committee
is waiving cocktails.

I think things are falling apart.

Oh, my God!

Elgar, I'm so glad You came.

Yeah, hi, Susu. How are you?

This is Lanie. This is my sister Susan.

Divine. Hello.

Elgar, Peter's here.

He's marvelous, and he's dying to see you.

Where the hell is he?

Elgar.

Hey, William Jr.

We're locking for Oscar.

Have you seen Oscar?

The one who carries the flag.

I don't know an Oscar,

Listen, I want you to meet..,

Doris, I want you to...

Elgar.

Oh, yes. Scotch and soda on the rocks.

You want something?

Elgar, it's Peter!

Peter Bo jangles coon.

Oh. Do a little dance for us.

And you're Shirley temple, right?

Yeah, I'm Shirley temple.

Elgar, Peter and I are engaged.

Oh, congratulations.

Peter...

Susan.

Susan, stop that exhibition.

We're going out for a smoke.

Enjoy yourselves.

Dad. Dad!

Dad?

Huh?

I want you to meet Lanie.

This is my father.

How do you do?

How do you do?

Isn't that a great costume he's got on?

Thank you. Uh, yours, too.

Well, before you get too drunk,

I want to talk to you.

If you'll excuse us, dear.

Certainly.

We'll find a place with less noise.

Dad, wait a second.

It's all right.

No, no, come on

I took a drive past that house of yours

in that dreadful slum,

and upon investigating your rent records...

If you can call them records...

I discovered that you, uh...

Get no rent from those hoodlums.

Yeah, dad. 1, uh...

There's one sublet that goes under

the dubious title of the Cumbersons

who hasn't paid rent in over a year.

They're an elderly couple.

They have no funds, no relations...

Son, I think you haven't got the guts

to ask them for the rent.

They're too old and sick
to even come outside, dad.

Is that so?

Yeah,

Are you sure you're not just afraid?

I mean, in case you ask them

for some of that back rent,
maybe two months' worth,

that they might not riot and
burn that roach trap down?

All right, dad.

Let's see how heartless you can really be.

You're so tough, right?

You listen to that old
man's poor, pathetic voice

and demand money from him.

We're going to have
a civilized conversation

about the issues of this
disgusting business venture.

There's got to be law and order.

Now sit down.

No, I'm not going to
sit down, general, uh...

W-Whatever the hell your name is

with your fruit salad and everything.

Marge? Will you try and get
Mr. Cumberson to the phone, please?

I'm...

What?

Oh, no, no!

Are they dead?

Oh, holy shit.

Uh...

Yeah. Tl be right over.

Son of a...

Hey, did the joint burn down?

Hey, man...

For your troubles.

Marge?

Hi, sugar.

What happened to, uh, the...

Well, I... I think the Cumbersons

got a new lease on life or something,

and they're gone. They...

The radiators. Where are the radiators?

You didn't want those old radiators anyhow.

A junkman can get you plenty of radiators.

Oh, beautiful. They took the stove!

That... that... W-Why not?

Why not take the stove?

Place looks like a damn tomb.

I just came out the can... again.

1 I out here in the streets

since Twas 7.

I came out the house and smelled paint.

He's fixing his place.

He's fixing his place.

In a place where there's poor people

sitting out here in the street.

Ta-da!

Hi.

Uh-uh! No, no, no!

Stay there. Stay there.

I have got a surprise for you.

Listen, honey,

let me turn this down a smidgen.

Yeah. Come on, what you got. there?

How do you like that?

Oh, yeah!

That's wild,

Recognize anybody?

And I got something else.

It's little, but kind of special.

I hope you like it.

Oh, gee, hon, I can't get over everything.

I really can't.

It's like I told you...

A little paint

and some curtains and...

Well...

A few thousand dollars.

And you got yourself a real nice place.

Hey, you didn't even open up my gift.

It's an egg!

That's right.

Uh... could you tell me

where I might find Mr, Enders?

The landlord lives in the basement, lady.

Hi, mother. How are you? Come on in,

Elgar, I want this entire poverty
program that you're on dropped.

Uh, mother, you...

No, no. I want you out
of here within the week.

Mother, you will not walk into my house

and order me about.

And another thing...
Tell that Marge upstairs

I want my charger plate back.

What charger plate?

Don't you charger plate me.

That's my drapery material!

She's outfitted the entire plantation.

Mother, don't call this a plantation.

You dumb cluck.

What?

You really aren't concerned, are you,

that you walked boldly

into the spinal meningitis
summer festival ball

at which I begged You...

I begged you to come

in a costume of a dead American hero!

Well, Susu came dressed as Shirley temple.

Susu did not come as Shirley temple.

She came as little Eva!

All right. I'm not going to argue with you.

I'm net going to argue with you.

Look at you. Look at you.

Why don't you cut your hair?

Elgar, you look like a floozy.

Mother, in about two seconds,

I'm going to really lose my temper,

and I'm going to throw
your ass out of here.

OK, what's the matter with you now?

Nothing. Don't pay any attention.

Go right on with what you were saying.

Mmm.

Joyce, if your heart doesn't
attack you in a few minutes,

Twill.

Attack me? What... do you mean...

Do you mean sexually, you pervert?

I'm your mother!

O.K., lady, go on. Out! Get out!

What have they done to you?

What have they done to me?

I'll tell you what they've
done to me, mother.

For one thing, as I'm sure
you've already noticed,

I've run away from home!

I'm 29 years old, and 1
have run away from home.

Doesn't that strike you as
being just a little sick?

You... you...

Elgar Winthrop Julius Enders,

you no longer have a mother.

Thanks.

Do you think the lady

could excuse us for a minute, landlord?

What for? What do you want?

Excedrin headache number one.

I Lay your kinky, woolly head &

Jon your mammy's breast I}

Aah!

Copee?

Copee, what are you doing?

Trying to fill out this application,

go downtown and get some
money for the white landlord.

Copee, I got to talk to you.

What?

What's the matter?

What's the matter, baby?

Ha ha ha ha.

Copee, I'm pregnant.

You're what?

I'm pregnant.

I told you don't come to me like that.

What is it we can do?

What is it can we do about it?

You going to have a baby
in how many months?

How many months, baby?

Hmm?

How many months pregnant are you?

Copee, it ain't your baby.

What do you mean it's not my baby?

It just ain't your baby, honey.

You mean to tell me that somebody else

has been sleeping in my bed

while I'm gone?

I'll be Goddamned!

What do you want to do that for?

Who was it?

Fanny?

Oh, leave me alone!

I said who was it?

Answer me!

Whose baby is it?

Whose baby is it?

Whose baby is it?

Copee!

Copee!

Aah!

Copee, don't!

You little bitch!

No! Mama! Mama!

Aah!

Someone, help!

Help, somebody!

Fanny!

Copee!

Copee!

Copee!

Copee!

Copee, don't!

Copee, don't!

Aah!

Let me in!

Somebody, let me in!

Come on! Let me in!

Let me in!

Come on! Open this door!

Open it! Come on!

Let me in! Let me in!

Let me in!

Mom! Dad!

Go back!

Go back, Walter gee!

Let me in!

Let me in!

Copee, please!

Copee?

Copee?

Copee.

Wait.

Why?

Why?

Why?

Aah!

Hey!

Wait.

My mama.

My mama.

All... all but one...

Had blue eyes.

Yes, I know, Copee.

Uncle Harry had good hair.

Christ has never known the
horror of nappy hair in America.

Yes, Copee, yes.

It isn't enough I have just been a Jew.

I have been a black Jew.

Hmm?

D-don't...

D-don't let them transplant my heart

till I'm dead.

No, Copee. No, I won't.

I won't let them, uh-uh.

I won't let them.

Hey, boy.

I have a new tenant for you.

That sounds great.

Thanks.

Bachelor number one,
what's the crummiest thing.

You've ever done on a date?

I lost my girlfriend. I mean...

We went to Disneyland,

and we went on Mr. Toad's wild ride.

We were going bumpy bumpy bump.

She bumped out of the car.

I picked her up, though.

Bachelor...

Bachelor number three...

I'm just going to stay right here.

That's what I should do...

To be with her...

Make sure everything, you know...

Everything will be O.K.

This is why you haven't called me?

Yeah,

You know... don't look at me like that, OK?

Why?

Why what?

Why? Why have you done all of this?

Because I'm a bastard, all right?

I love you, Elgar.

Can I help you, sir?

I have lunch money for Walter gee Copee.

In the basement.

Moving forward. Lunch punch.

Shift!

Heave!

Charge!

Stepping back.

Shift!

Heave!

Charge!

Shift!

Heave!

Shift!

Free!

Ha ha ha ha ha...

Mr. Copee, your wife and
new son are just fine.

Copee?

Copee?

I don't want to see it.

You don't have to see him.

I don't want to see it.

Elgar, I love Copee.

I can't take the baby home to him.

I won't do that to him.

It's not fair, Elgar.

I think you ought to get some rest, OK?

Then I'll be back.

Would you take the baby?

I can't.

What am I going to do with a baby?

Think it would be all right

if I put it up for adoption?

I guess so.

Well...

That's what I'm going to do.

I want one thing, though.

What's that?

I want him adopted as white.

OK

Why?

'Cause I want him to grow up casual,

like his daddy.

Come in.

Mr. Enders?

I want to pay you your rent.

All rent is to be paid
to Mr. and Mrs. Copes

from now on.

Really?

That's right.

Reminds me of the man

who put a black family
in to work a store..,

Fool the neighbors.

I gave this house to Mrs. Copee

because I don't need it.

Did she need another baby, too, Mr. Enders?

You're an evil son of a bitch.

However, evil as I am,

I'll put this rent under the Copees' door.

No school today, professor Duboise?

Yes, there's school today, Mr. Enders,

however, I won't invite you

to come and audit a class.

I dare you.

Would you find yourself a
seat, please, Mr. Enders?

Mr. Enders,

over there,

We've all had our breakfast today,

50 you'll be comparatively safe.

Now... Laura Anne...

Define relative knowledge.

The principle that knowledge is related,

relative to the limited nature of the mind

and conditions of knowing

and, therefore, not true to the
nature of independent reality.

Gene...

What is a triangle?

A figure formed by three lines,

intersecting by twos in three points

and so forming three angles.

Al right.

Ernest, law and order.

White police, soldiers, guns,

mace, obeying the white establishment.

Now, children, how do we live?

Elgar?

Tam black, and I am beautiful.

James.

Tam black, and I am beautiful.

Malcolm,

Tam black, and I am beautiful.

Louise.

Tam black, and I am beautiful.

Mr. Enders...

See, ladies and gentlemen,

some people can't learn what we learn,

> Cause they can't stop

> what men do!

> and that's why, lord

> I call on you

> they don't even know

> they don't know how to sin

> these are troubled times

> that we're livin' in

> yes, sir!

> when bombs fall

> children cry

> and, yes, lord

> some will die

> and that's why I got to say

> lord

> lord

> lord

> lord

> lord

> God

> bless the children

> God

> bless the children

> teach us how to love

> like never before

> and may we never, never, never

> study war no more

> talk to the heart

> of the men who need it

> and make them understand

> right now, lord...

Lanie!

Lanie!

Lanie!

Lanie!

> Lord

> lord

> lord

> lord

> lord...

Lanie!

Lanie!

> Bless the children

> God

> bless the children

> so many times...

Lanie! Come on down!

> We got trouble

> it won't last, no way...

You shut your ass!

> I'm not sayin'

> that this thing is wrong

> but I'm wonderin' right now

> how come it's gotten bad so long?

> To see a newborn baby

> in some proud mother's arms

> then you think of all the countries

> that now have a gun

> and you just got to say

> lord

> lord

Come on!

> Lord

> lord

> God

> bless the children

> mmm

> God

> bless the children

> say it a little bit louder

> God

> bless the children

> say it one more time

> God...