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1
00:00:01,378 --> 00:00:02,855
? Well, we're movin' on up ?
2
00:00:02,877 --> 00:00:04,255
? Movin' on up ?
3
00:00:04,277 --> 00:00:07,223
? To the East
Side Movin' on up ?
4
00:00:07,243 --> 00:00:09,887
? To a deluxe apartment ?
5
00:00:09,908 --> 00:00:11,886
? In the sky ?
6
00:00:11,907 --> 00:00:14,620
? Movin' on up ?
7
00:00:14,640 --> 00:00:17,619
? To the East
Side Movin' on up ?
8
00:00:17,639 --> 00:00:23,421
? We finally got a
piece Of the pie ?
9
00:00:23,438 --> 00:00:26,217
? Fish don't fry
In the kitchen ?
10
00:00:26,237 --> 00:00:28,515
? Beans don't
burn On the grill ?
11
00:00:28,536 --> 00:00:31,081
? Took a whole lot of tryin' ?
12
00:00:31,102 --> 00:00:33,981
? Just to get up that hill ?
13
00:00:34,001 --> 00:00:36,446
? Now we're up
In the big leagues ?
14
00:00:36,466 --> 00:00:38,944
? Gettin' our turn at bat ?
15
00:00:38,965 --> 00:00:41,711
? As long as we live
It's you and me, baby ?
16
00:00:41,732 --> 00:00:43,510
? There ain't Nothin'
wrong with that ?
17
00:00:43,531 --> 00:00:46,243
? We're movin' on
up Movin' on up ?
18
00:00:46,264 --> 00:00:49,210
? To the East
Side Movin' on up ?
19
00:00:49,230 --> 00:00:53,810
? To a deluxe
apartment In the sky ?
20
00:00:53,827 --> 00:00:56,539
? Movin' on up Movin' on up ?
21
00:00:56,560 --> 00:00:59,573
? To the East
Side Movin' on up ?
22
00:00:59,593 --> 00:01:06,097
? We finally got a
piece Of the pie ??
23
00:01:08,054 --> 00:01:14,128
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24
00:01:32,881 --> 00:01:36,962
Tell the sultan I'm here.
25
00:01:39,213 --> 00:01:42,992
? The Sheik of Araby ?
26
00:01:43,011 --> 00:01:47,792
? Can have his way with me ??
27
00:01:47,810 --> 00:01:50,155
Hello. Oh, hi, Mr. Bentley.
28
00:01:50,176 --> 00:01:52,154
I'm sorry to trouble you Mrs.
Jefferson, I was wondering
29
00:01:52,175 --> 00:01:54,787
if I might borrow
something for my breakfast?
30
00:01:54,808 --> 00:01:56,886
Oh, of course you can.
What would you like?
31
00:01:56,907 --> 00:02:00,720
Your kitchen.
32
00:02:00,739 --> 00:02:01,950
My kitchen?
33
00:02:01,972 --> 00:02:03,149
If you'd rather
not, I understand.
34
00:02:03,172 --> 00:02:04,749
Of course you
can use it, come in.
35
00:02:04,770 --> 00:02:06,549
I know a woman's
kitchen is sacred to her.
36
00:02:06,571 --> 00:02:08,449
Oh, you are very welcome.
37
00:02:08,471 --> 00:02:09,847
We had a cook at home once
38
00:02:09,869 --> 00:02:11,847
who wouldn't let my
mother into her kitchen.
39
00:02:11,868 --> 00:02:13,080
But it was your mother's house,
40
00:02:13,102 --> 00:02:14,479
how could the cook keep her out?
41
00:02:14,502 --> 00:02:16,613
It was very simple, she
never told my mother
42
00:02:16,634 --> 00:02:20,747
where the kitchen was.
43
00:02:20,765 --> 00:02:24,312
Well, what would you like
me to make you for breakfast?
44
00:02:24,332 --> 00:02:26,877
Oh, it's all right Mrs. J, I've
brought my own: kippers.
45
00:02:26,897 --> 00:02:29,742
Oh, how nice. What are kippers?
46
00:02:29,762 --> 00:02:32,375
Ah, the treasure of the deep.
47
00:02:32,396 --> 00:02:35,241
Oh, herring.
48
00:02:35,261 --> 00:02:37,173
But not just herring,
smoked herring.
49
00:02:37,194 --> 00:02:38,171
May I?
50
00:02:38,194 --> 00:02:41,139
Be my guest.
51
00:02:41,159 --> 00:02:45,873
Ah, Neptune's ambrosia.
52
00:02:45,891 --> 00:02:48,570
This is awfully nice
of you I must say.
53
00:02:48,590 --> 00:02:52,503
Oh, not at all, it's
nice to have company.
54
00:02:52,522 --> 00:02:55,101
What is the matter
with your own kitchen?
55
00:02:55,122 --> 00:02:56,533
My apartment's being painted
56
00:02:56,555 --> 00:03:02,203
and I can't stand the smell.
57
00:03:02,219 --> 00:03:05,632
You can't stand that smell?
58
00:03:05,652 --> 00:03:07,563
And I can't stand
the color, either.
59
00:03:07,584 --> 00:03:10,663
Well, didn't you choose your
own color for the apartment?
60
00:03:10,683 --> 00:03:15,697
Yes. I chose a rather
zippy battleship gray.
61
00:03:15,714 --> 00:03:16,925
Well?
62
00:03:16,948 --> 00:03:20,461
And my girlfriend Daphne
chose shocking pink.
63
00:03:20,480 --> 00:03:22,491
And Daphne won?
64
00:03:22,512 --> 00:03:25,491
Well, Daphne always wins.
I can't refuse her anything.
65
00:03:25,511 --> 00:03:28,924
Not even me.
66
00:03:28,944 --> 00:03:32,657
Mr. Bentley, don't you
think it'll be a good idea
67
00:03:32,676 --> 00:03:34,254
if we switched on the fan?
68
00:03:34,276 --> 00:03:35,653
Oh, dear, no. If we did that,
69
00:03:35,675 --> 00:03:39,821
then we'd lose the marvelous
aroma of the kippers.
70
00:03:39,839 --> 00:03:42,419
Oh, I never thought of that.
71
00:03:42,440 --> 00:03:45,519
They're coming
along nicely, you see?
72
00:03:45,539 --> 00:03:46,615
I'll give you a tip.
73
00:03:46,637 --> 00:03:49,083
One must never
overcook a kipper,
74
00:03:49,104 --> 00:03:54,419
so over you go,
you little nipper.
75
00:03:54,436 --> 00:03:57,181
This may be the last
chance I get to cook my own.
76
00:03:57,201 --> 00:03:59,379
An endangered species you know.
77
00:03:59,400 --> 00:04:00,411
Kippers?
78
00:04:00,434 --> 00:04:02,745
No, me.
79
00:04:02,766 --> 00:04:05,778
I'm afraid Daphne's
about to pop the question.
80
00:04:05,798 --> 00:04:08,377
She's going to ask
you to marry her?
81
00:04:08,398 --> 00:04:09,808
What makes you think that?
82
00:04:09,830 --> 00:04:11,608
She phoned a little while ago,
83
00:04:11,629 --> 00:04:13,408
and asked me to meet
her at Charley's bar.
84
00:04:13,430 --> 00:04:16,542
And she said she had something
very important to ask me.
85
00:04:16,562 --> 00:04:19,041
Oh, well, that
could be anything.
86
00:04:19,061 --> 00:04:22,373
And last week she asked for
more closet space in my apartment.
87
00:04:22,393 --> 00:04:26,606
That could be something.
88
00:04:26,624 --> 00:04:29,037
I'm just not ready
to settle down yet.
89
00:04:29,058 --> 00:04:32,270
She's so wonderful I don't
know how I'll say no to her.
90
00:04:32,290 --> 00:04:34,701
Oh, just come
right on out with it
91
00:04:34,722 --> 00:04:37,101
and tell her you don't
want to get married.
92
00:04:37,121 --> 00:04:38,865
I'm afraid it's not that simple.
93
00:04:38,887 --> 00:04:42,267
You see, she's mad about me.
94
00:04:42,287 --> 00:04:45,233
And uh, I fear it would
be a traumatic experience.
95
00:04:45,253 --> 00:04:46,763
I can't stand tears.
96
00:04:46,785 --> 00:04:50,798
You're like George. You
hate to see a woman cry.
97
00:04:50,816 --> 00:04:54,096
No, I hate to see me cry.
98
00:04:54,116 --> 00:04:56,261
Well, Daphne's not going
99
00:04:56,282 --> 00:04:58,860
to force you to do
anything against your will.
100
00:04:58,881 --> 00:05:03,095
When two people have
a real close relationship,
101
00:05:03,113 --> 00:05:06,092
they learn to respect
each other's feelings.
102
00:05:06,112 --> 00:05:08,312
Weezy, get out here now.
103
00:05:09,944 --> 00:05:13,590
Of course, there's the
exception to every rule.
104
00:05:13,609 --> 00:05:14,853
Weezy!
105
00:05:14,875 --> 00:05:16,342
Coming, sweetheart.
106
00:05:19,374 --> 00:05:22,453
Who are you yelling at?
107
00:05:22,473 --> 00:05:24,084
We've got an emergency.
108
00:05:24,106 --> 00:05:25,150
Where?
109
00:05:25,173 --> 00:05:27,218
Coming up here any minute now.
110
00:05:27,239 --> 00:05:29,384
What are you talking about?
111
00:05:29,405 --> 00:05:30,382
The building
inspector, that's what.
112
00:05:30,405 --> 00:05:31,615
He found something wrong
113
00:05:31,637 --> 00:05:33,015
with the ventilators
in my best store.
114
00:05:33,037 --> 00:05:35,615
If he gives me a citation I'm
going to have to close down.
115
00:05:35,636 --> 00:05:37,747
Then why don't you
fix the ventilators?
116
00:05:37,768 --> 00:05:40,381
Because all the sheet metal
workers are out on strike.
117
00:05:40,402 --> 00:05:44,315
There's a funny
smell around here.
118
00:05:44,333 --> 00:05:45,576
It's Mr. Bentley.
119
00:05:45,599 --> 00:05:46,732
Oh.
120
00:05:50,831 --> 00:05:52,675
But the inspector
can't close you down
121
00:05:52,696 --> 00:05:54,641
without giving you a
warning first. Can he?
122
00:05:54,663 --> 00:05:56,241
They gave us a
warning a month ago.
123
00:05:56,263 --> 00:05:59,142
Only the stupid idiot who was
managing the store that day
124
00:05:59,162 --> 00:06:00,306
didn't do anything about it.
125
00:06:00,328 --> 00:06:03,807
Oh, that's terrible.
Did you fire him?
126
00:06:03,827 --> 00:06:07,907
I couldn't. It was me.
127
00:06:07,925 --> 00:06:09,236
You made a mistake?
128
00:06:09,258 --> 00:06:11,603
Now look, Weezy,
it's no time for joking,
129
00:06:11,624 --> 00:06:13,268
Inspector Keller's going
to be up here any minute.
130
00:06:13,290 --> 00:06:14,801
What is that smell?
131
00:06:14,823 --> 00:06:17,635
I tried to tell you,
Mr. Bentley's apartment
132
00:06:17,655 --> 00:06:18,765
is being painted.
133
00:06:18,788 --> 00:06:22,202
But what did the paint
it with? A dead fish?
134
00:06:22,221 --> 00:06:23,498
Look never mind that.
135
00:06:23,520 --> 00:06:26,199
Why is Inspector
Keller coming up here?
136
00:06:26,220 --> 00:06:27,663
Because there can't
be any witnesses.
137
00:06:27,685 --> 00:06:28,997
Huh?
138
00:06:29,019 --> 00:06:31,297
Wait a minute.
139
00:06:31,318 --> 00:06:35,231
How come Bentley's smell
coming out of our kitchen?
140
00:06:35,250 --> 00:06:37,261
Hello, Mr. Jefferson.
141
00:06:37,282 --> 00:06:38,259
What are those?
142
00:06:38,282 --> 00:06:39,259
Kippers.
143
00:06:39,282 --> 00:06:41,094
Where they come from?
144
00:06:41,115 --> 00:06:44,816
I wouldn't know. Am
I my brother's kipper?
145
00:06:46,279 --> 00:06:49,314
This is one weird dude.
146
00:06:52,444 --> 00:06:56,591
You know, I can't eat a thing.
147
00:06:56,610 --> 00:06:58,188
I've got butterflies in
my tummy thinking about
148
00:06:58,209 --> 00:07:00,753
what I've got to say to Daphne.
149
00:07:00,774 --> 00:07:02,953
Mrs. J, I'm going
to take your advice.
150
00:07:02,974 --> 00:07:05,419
I'm going to tell her
straight out, I can't marry her.
151
00:07:05,440 --> 00:07:07,218
Well, good luck.
152
00:07:07,240 --> 00:07:09,785
Daphne, I cannot marry you.
153
00:07:09,805 --> 00:07:11,716
Daphne, I won't.
154
00:07:11,738 --> 00:07:13,018
Daphne, get up off your knees.
155
00:07:14,437 --> 00:07:17,950
George, why is
Keller coming up here?
156
00:07:17,969 --> 00:07:19,546
To see the work order I made out
157
00:07:19,568 --> 00:07:21,613
to fix the ventilators
before the strike started.
158
00:07:21,634 --> 00:07:23,980
Well, why didn't you
show it to him down there?
159
00:07:24,001 --> 00:07:25,478
Because it ain't down there.
160
00:07:25,500 --> 00:07:27,744
Then why don't you
take it down to him?
161
00:07:27,765 --> 00:07:30,445
Because it ain't
up here neither.
162
00:07:30,466 --> 00:07:32,477
There's no work order.
163
00:07:32,498 --> 00:07:34,343
Now you're catching on.
164
00:07:34,365 --> 00:07:38,311
But don't worry, Weezy,
I'll give him the old one-two.
165
00:07:38,329 --> 00:07:42,242
And he knows one
hand dry-cleans the other.
166
00:07:42,261 --> 00:07:44,228
What is...?
167
00:07:46,260 --> 00:07:48,439
It's business talk, Weezy?
Look, and I don't want you here
168
00:07:48,460 --> 00:07:50,037
when Keller comes, because
he might get embarrassed
169
00:07:50,059 --> 00:07:51,636
for what I got to say to him.
170
00:07:51,658 --> 00:07:53,136
What are you going to say?
171
00:07:53,158 --> 00:07:56,371
I'm just going to say,
"Inspector Keller, here's $150."
172
00:07:56,390 --> 00:07:57,400
That's bribery!
173
00:07:57,423 --> 00:07:59,101
Look, Weezy,
everybody's got his price.
174
00:07:59,123 --> 00:08:00,300
That's big business.
175
00:08:00,322 --> 00:08:01,632
Look at the big oil companies
176
00:08:01,654 --> 00:08:03,833
giving away millions
to foreign politicians.
177
00:08:03,854 --> 00:08:05,398
But it's wrong.
178
00:08:05,420 --> 00:08:06,730
Sure it's wrong.
179
00:08:06,753 --> 00:08:08,731
And President Ford is going
to punish the oil companies.
180
00:08:08,752 --> 00:08:12,967
He's letting them
raise gas prices.
181
00:08:12,985 --> 00:08:15,129
It's still wrong, George.
182
00:08:15,150 --> 00:08:17,329
Look, it ain't as if I'm
bribing a foreigner.
183
00:08:17,351 --> 00:08:20,830
I'm giving it to a
loyal American.
184
00:08:20,849 --> 00:08:22,327
George!
185
00:08:22,349 --> 00:08:23,525
Don't worry, Weezy.
186
00:08:23,547 --> 00:08:24,891
This inspector
looks real hungry.
187
00:08:24,914 --> 00:08:27,060
He's going to grab that
money from my hand so fast,
188
00:08:27,081 --> 00:08:30,093
he'll probably take a
couple of my fingers, with it.
189
00:08:31,412 --> 00:08:33,557
Look, if that's anybody
but Inspector Keller,
190
00:08:33,578 --> 00:08:34,910
tell them to get lost.
191
00:08:37,809 --> 00:08:40,110
Hello, Louise.
192
00:08:45,674 --> 00:08:51,911
Hello, Mother Jefferson.
George says, "Get lost."
193
00:08:54,838 --> 00:08:56,916
Mama!
194
00:08:56,937 --> 00:08:59,338
That's one of Weezy's
little jokes, Mama.
195
00:09:13,598 --> 00:09:14,742
Daphne.
196
00:09:14,764 --> 00:09:19,145
Harry, I'm so excited.
197
00:09:19,164 --> 00:09:21,508
So, Daphne, you
look so marvelous.
198
00:09:21,528 --> 00:09:22,705
Thank you.
199
00:09:22,728 --> 00:09:26,375
It's such a pity I
have to be going.
200
00:09:26,394 --> 00:09:29,807
Harry, I that's what I love
about you, your sense of humor.
201
00:09:29,826 --> 00:09:32,604
No, actually, I'm
a very sad person.
202
00:09:32,625 --> 00:09:35,838
I make everybody sad.
203
00:09:35,858 --> 00:09:38,904
You see?
204
00:09:38,923 --> 00:09:41,868
I bet your parents have a
wonderful sense of humor too.
205
00:09:41,889 --> 00:09:43,334
I can't wait to meet them.
206
00:09:43,356 --> 00:09:45,600
My goodness, you're
wearing my favorite outfit.
207
00:09:45,621 --> 00:09:46,732
I've always loved it.
208
00:09:46,754 --> 00:09:49,533
I've never worn it before.
209
00:09:49,553 --> 00:09:50,863
Really? What are you drinking?
210
00:09:50,886 --> 00:09:52,064
Orange juice.
211
00:09:52,086 --> 00:09:55,498
Good, two double scotches, neat.
212
00:09:55,517 --> 00:09:57,896
Now, can't you guess what
it is I'm going to ask you.
213
00:09:57,917 --> 00:09:59,895
Speaking of guessing, I saw
the most marvelous quiz show
214
00:09:59,917 --> 00:10:01,328
on the tele the other night...
215
00:10:01,350 --> 00:10:03,128
I am dying to see the
lovely English Countryside
216
00:10:03,149 --> 00:10:05,760
and the house
where you were born.
217
00:10:05,781 --> 00:10:07,426
Now doesn't that
give you a clue?
218
00:10:07,448 --> 00:10:08,825
Daphne!
219
00:10:08,847 --> 00:10:14,918
There's something
that I must tell you first.
220
00:10:16,945 --> 00:10:19,990
All right, Harry, but hurry
up. I can't wait much longer.
221
00:10:20,010 --> 00:10:22,789
You see, there are times,
222
00:10:22,809 --> 00:10:24,753
when it is right to
do certain things.
223
00:10:24,775 --> 00:10:29,890
And there are times,
Daphne, when it is wrong
224
00:10:29,907 --> 00:10:32,652
to do certain things.
225
00:10:32,672 --> 00:10:37,586
You take the great
Canadian Honker.
226
00:10:37,604 --> 00:10:39,216
Honker?
227
00:10:39,237 --> 00:10:41,081
Magnificent bird,
228
00:10:41,103 --> 00:10:43,081
but if he were to fly
south in the Summer
229
00:10:43,102 --> 00:10:44,679
rather than in the Fall,
230
00:10:44,701 --> 00:10:46,846
he would return
not in the Spring,
231
00:10:46,867 --> 00:10:50,014
but in the Winter.
232
00:10:50,034 --> 00:10:52,245
Not only would he
fail to reproduce,
233
00:10:52,266 --> 00:10:56,479
he would freeze to death.
234
00:10:56,498 --> 00:10:59,378
Now, that's bad timing.
235
00:10:59,398 --> 00:11:04,178
Oh, what a beautiful
story, sweetheart.
236
00:11:04,195 --> 00:11:08,910
Yes. Let me put it another way.
237
00:11:08,928 --> 00:11:13,508
It was just one of those things,
238
00:11:13,526 --> 00:11:16,205
? Just one of those
Fabulous flings ?
239
00:11:16,225 --> 00:11:18,003
? One of those... ??
"Crazy."
240
00:11:18,025 --> 00:11:20,169
I beg your pardon?
241
00:11:20,190 --> 00:11:23,003
? Just one of those
Crazy flings ??
242
00:11:23,023 --> 00:11:24,800
Not "fabulous."
243
00:11:24,822 --> 00:11:27,001
Really?
244
00:11:27,022 --> 00:11:29,500
? Just one of those Crazy... ??
245
00:11:29,521 --> 00:11:32,000
No, I think it's "fabulous."
246
00:11:32,021 --> 00:11:34,933
? It was just one
Of those things ?
247
00:11:34,953 --> 00:11:40,501
? Just one of those
Crazy things... ??
248
00:11:40,517 --> 00:11:43,162
"Crazy." You're
absolutely right.
249
00:11:43,183 --> 00:11:46,229
Harry, please, what
did you want to tell me?
250
00:11:46,249 --> 00:11:50,029
All right. I'll tell you
straight from the shoulder,
251
00:11:50,048 --> 00:11:53,316
but it's not going to be easy.
252
00:11:54,946 --> 00:11:56,145
Daphne.
253
00:11:57,844 --> 00:11:59,477
Oh, Daphne.
254
00:12:01,944 --> 00:12:07,647
I... I have to go
to the bathroom.
255
00:12:23,104 --> 00:12:24,081
Get back in there!
256
00:12:24,103 --> 00:12:25,580
But somebody's at the door.
257
00:12:25,603 --> 00:12:27,014
Ain't somebody,
it's him, Keller.
258
00:12:27,036 --> 00:12:29,214
I don't want anyone else around,
there can't be any witnesses.
259
00:12:29,235 --> 00:12:30,880
I still think it's wrong.
260
00:12:30,901 --> 00:12:32,781
Do your thinking in the kitchen.
261
00:12:33,933 --> 00:12:35,477
Come in. Come in.
262
00:12:35,499 --> 00:12:37,110
Thank you,
Mr. Jefferson. Bentley!
263
00:12:37,132 --> 00:12:39,510
What are you doing here? I
want to use your bathroom.
264
00:12:39,531 --> 00:12:41,309
Say what? I told
Daphne I was going
265
00:12:41,331 --> 00:12:43,076
to the bathroom,
and I can't lie to her.
266
00:12:43,097 --> 00:12:44,107
Use your own bathroom.
267
00:12:44,130 --> 00:12:46,275
No, no, that's the
first place she'd look.
268
00:12:46,296 --> 00:12:47,840
Hey Bentley, come out of there!
269
00:12:47,862 --> 00:12:49,740
As soon as the coast is clear.
270
00:12:49,761 --> 00:12:51,939
Look, I got an inspector
coming up here any second now.
271
00:12:51,961 --> 00:12:54,039
You're going to ruin
everything. Come out of there.
272
00:12:54,060 --> 00:12:57,740
Bentley, I got to be
alone when I talk to Keller.
273
00:12:57,759 --> 00:13:02,073
Will you come out of there
before this dummy gets here?
274
00:13:02,091 --> 00:13:03,957
Ahem.
275
00:13:05,456 --> 00:13:09,070
Oh, hi, Inspector Keller.
276
00:13:09,089 --> 00:13:11,089
Just call me dummy.
277
00:13:19,086 --> 00:13:20,463
You weren't supposed
to hear that compliment.
278
00:13:20,485 --> 00:13:22,930
Compliment? You called me dummy.
279
00:13:22,950 --> 00:13:24,527
Oh, yeah, well I
was talking street talk
280
00:13:24,549 --> 00:13:26,328
which means the opposite
of what I say. Uh-huh.
281
00:13:26,350 --> 00:13:28,928
You know like if I was to
say something was "real bad,"
282
00:13:28,949 --> 00:13:30,861
that means it's good. Really?
283
00:13:30,882 --> 00:13:32,659
Uh-huh. And when you
call someone a "dummy,"
284
00:13:32,681 --> 00:13:35,460
that means he's got a head
full of brains and smart as a whip.
285
00:13:35,480 --> 00:13:37,624
I see. Oh, do come in.
286
00:13:37,645 --> 00:13:39,423
Yeah, well I haven't got
much time Mr. Jefferson,
287
00:13:39,445 --> 00:13:41,257
so if you'd just show
me that work order.
288
00:13:41,278 --> 00:13:43,656
Oh, yeah, the work order, right.
289
00:13:43,677 --> 00:13:45,922
Now let's see.
290
00:13:45,943 --> 00:13:47,387
I can't seem to find it.
291
00:13:47,409 --> 00:13:51,089
I know it's here someplace,
you could take my word for it.
292
00:13:51,108 --> 00:13:52,719
Uh-uh, I'm afraid I can't.
293
00:13:52,741 --> 00:13:54,719
See, before I can
give you the okay,
294
00:13:54,740 --> 00:13:57,585
I got to see something,
something I can take with me.
295
00:13:57,606 --> 00:14:00,919
Oh, yeah, right. Now
we're getting someplace.
296
00:14:00,938 --> 00:14:03,116
I think I got just the
something you want to see.
297
00:14:03,137 --> 00:14:04,882
Uh-huh, where is it?
298
00:14:04,904 --> 00:14:06,581
Right here, in my pocket.
299
00:14:06,603 --> 00:14:09,537
I should have looked
there in the first place.
300
00:14:12,534 --> 00:14:14,379
There's something in your eye.
301
00:14:14,400 --> 00:14:16,245
Hey, that's good. That's good.
302
00:14:17,266 --> 00:14:18,944
Go away!
303
00:14:18,966 --> 00:14:21,144
Why'd you say that? You
don't even know who it is.
304
00:14:21,165 --> 00:14:23,409
I know what it
is. It's a witness.
305
00:14:23,430 --> 00:14:25,697
Jehovah's?
306
00:14:29,896 --> 00:14:32,875
Don't worry, George.
I'm not looking.
307
00:14:32,895 --> 00:14:34,339
Hello.
308
00:14:34,361 --> 00:14:35,961
How do you do?
309
00:14:37,093 --> 00:14:39,338
Hello, Daphne.
310
00:14:39,359 --> 00:14:41,570
Hello, Mrs. Jefferson.
Is Harry here?
311
00:14:41,591 --> 00:14:42,568
No.
312
00:14:42,591 --> 00:14:44,169
Oh, he's not in
his own apartment,
313
00:14:44,191 --> 00:14:46,436
I thought he might be here.
I'm sorry to have bothered you.
314
00:14:46,457 --> 00:14:47,968
Oh, that's all right.
315
00:14:47,990 --> 00:14:50,936
Ah, Mrs. J, thank you for
the use of your... Daphne!
316
00:14:50,956 --> 00:14:52,666
Harry.
317
00:14:52,688 --> 00:14:54,499
So nice to see you.
318
00:14:54,520 --> 00:14:58,201
You told me you were
going to the bathroom.
319
00:14:58,220 --> 00:15:03,100
I did... I was... I didn't
say which bathroom.
320
00:15:03,118 --> 00:15:05,330
Let's go, we've got
some talking to do.
321
00:15:05,351 --> 00:15:06,862
Yeah, I really don't have...
322
00:15:06,884 --> 00:15:08,661
Ah, Mr. J, I see
you have a guest.
323
00:15:08,682 --> 00:15:10,794
Harry, let's go. Daphne,
let's not be rude.
324
00:15:10,816 --> 00:15:12,460
We haven't introduced ourselves.
325
00:15:12,481 --> 00:15:13,658
Let me do it for you.
326
00:15:13,681 --> 00:15:15,259
Mr. Keller, this is
Bentley and that's Daphne
327
00:15:15,281 --> 00:15:16,758
and that's the door.
328
00:15:16,780 --> 00:15:19,426
Keller!
329
00:15:19,446 --> 00:15:20,824
Did anyone ever
tell you that "Keller"
330
00:15:20,846 --> 00:15:23,524
is the German word for "cellar"?
331
00:15:23,545 --> 00:15:24,655
Yes.
332
00:15:24,677 --> 00:15:26,488
Oh, too bad.
333
00:15:26,510 --> 00:15:29,190
I would have loved
explaining it to you.
334
00:15:29,210 --> 00:15:31,754
Would someone like coffee?
335
00:15:31,775 --> 00:15:33,520
No, but I would
like an explanation.
336
00:15:33,541 --> 00:15:35,319
So we're just going
to sit down over here
337
00:15:35,341 --> 00:15:37,119
and you're not going
to get away from me
338
00:15:37,141 --> 00:15:38,919
until you tell me
what this is all about.
339
00:15:38,940 --> 00:15:40,517
This could take forever
because he doesn't know
340
00:15:40,539 --> 00:15:42,617
what anything is about.
341
00:15:42,638 --> 00:15:45,050
I think we should
leave these two alone.
342
00:15:45,071 --> 00:15:47,616
No, Mrs. J, don't go.
We're going to need you.
343
00:15:47,637 --> 00:15:48,747
What for?
344
00:15:48,769 --> 00:15:50,714
In case a question comes up.
345
00:15:50,736 --> 00:15:51,947
What question?
346
00:15:51,969 --> 00:15:54,681
You see? One came up already.
347
00:15:54,701 --> 00:15:56,879
Mr. Jefferson have you got
something to show me, or not?
348
00:15:56,900 --> 00:15:58,311
Oh, yeah, let's
go into the kitchen.
349
00:15:58,334 --> 00:15:59,311
Why?
350
00:15:59,333 --> 00:16:00,343
Because the
light's better there.
351
00:16:00,366 --> 00:16:01,743
What's wrong with
the light in here?
352
00:16:01,765 --> 00:16:04,444
Too many people using it.
353
00:16:04,464 --> 00:16:05,875
This is better?
354
00:16:05,897 --> 00:16:08,176
Mama, what are you doing here?
355
00:16:08,197 --> 00:16:11,631
I'm swimming the
English Channel.
356
00:16:17,327 --> 00:16:19,305
Look, Mama, could you
excuse us for a minute, please?
357
00:16:19,327 --> 00:16:22,206
Oh, you're trying to
tell me to get lost again.
358
00:16:22,226 --> 00:16:23,369
No, Mama, look,
this gentleman...
359
00:16:23,391 --> 00:16:24,769
Aren't those kippers?
360
00:16:24,791 --> 00:16:29,338
Yes. Louise is finally learning
how to cook. They're delicious.
361
00:16:29,356 --> 00:16:30,633
Louise didn't make them.
362
00:16:30,656 --> 00:16:33,402
Oh, that explains it.
363
00:16:33,422 --> 00:16:35,000
You know I haven't
had kipper in years?
364
00:16:35,022 --> 00:16:37,000
Since I was a kid, I
used to love them.
365
00:16:37,021 --> 00:16:40,901
Well, I can eat only one, so
why don't you join me, Mr...
366
00:16:40,920 --> 00:16:42,964
Keller. You sure you don't mind?
367
00:16:42,985 --> 00:16:44,997
George, get a
plate for Mr. Keller.
368
00:16:45,019 --> 00:16:46,729
I thought you said you
didn't have any time?
369
00:16:46,750 --> 00:16:49,797
There's always time for kippers.
370
00:16:49,817 --> 00:16:52,996
Besides, I'm hungry.
371
00:16:53,016 --> 00:16:55,327
Yeah, I was just
telling my wife that.
372
00:16:55,348 --> 00:16:57,894
Uh, Mama, isn't it
time for your nap?
373
00:16:57,915 --> 00:16:59,592
I'm not tired.
374
00:16:59,613 --> 00:17:02,058
Well, you look tired to me.
375
00:17:02,079 --> 00:17:06,626
Maybe it's that
new wrinkle you got.
376
00:17:06,644 --> 00:17:08,990
Wrinkle? What wrinkle?
377
00:17:09,011 --> 00:17:10,388
The one right there.
378
00:17:10,410 --> 00:17:13,522
That's not a wrinkle,
that's just a tired line.
379
00:17:13,542 --> 00:17:16,454
It'll be gone just as soon
as I take my beauty nap.
380
00:17:16,474 --> 00:17:19,553
You'll see now.
381
00:17:19,573 --> 00:17:23,220
Pleasant dreams.
382
00:17:23,239 --> 00:17:25,217
Now, Inspector Keller, we
can get back to our business.
383
00:17:25,238 --> 00:17:27,483
I think you I have the
something you want to see...
384
00:17:27,504 --> 00:17:29,249
George?
385
00:17:29,271 --> 00:17:30,547
Mama, why ain't you sleeping?
386
00:17:30,569 --> 00:17:33,582
I didn't have my bloody mary.
387
00:17:33,602 --> 00:17:35,647
You forgot to remind me.
388
00:17:35,668 --> 00:17:37,045
Mama, you don't
need no bloody mary.
389
00:17:37,068 --> 00:17:39,280
Don't just stand there,
George, get the ice.
390
00:17:39,301 --> 00:17:43,714
I'll take care of the rest.
391
00:17:43,732 --> 00:17:46,912
Can I make you one, Mr. Keller?
392
00:17:46,932 --> 00:17:50,511
No, thanks, I never
drink while I'm on duty.
393
00:17:50,530 --> 00:17:51,741
Oh, they're very healthy.
394
00:17:51,763 --> 00:17:55,609
That's why I drink
them, for the vitamins.
395
00:17:55,628 --> 00:17:58,074
Yeah, but, the vitamins
are in the tomato juice.
396
00:17:58,095 --> 00:17:59,538
Why do you need the vodka?
397
00:17:59,560 --> 00:18:01,795
It helps me digest the vitamins.
398
00:18:05,826 --> 00:18:09,605
What about Bluebeard? Bluebeard
murdered seven Mrs. Bluebeards.
399
00:18:09,623 --> 00:18:11,401
Now he'd never have
been able to do that
400
00:18:11,423 --> 00:18:12,734
if he was still a bachelor.
401
00:18:12,756 --> 00:18:15,635
First Honkers, now
and now Bluebeard.
402
00:18:15,655 --> 00:18:17,233
Please, Harry, say
what you're going to say
403
00:18:17,255 --> 00:18:19,566
so I can say what
I'm going to say.
404
00:18:19,587 --> 00:18:21,398
Mrs. J.
405
00:18:21,420 --> 00:18:28,303
Mr. B, sometimes you
have to be cruel to be kind.
406
00:18:28,318 --> 00:18:30,852
That's it... cruel.
407
00:18:33,183 --> 00:18:34,627
Daphne.
408
00:18:34,649 --> 00:18:36,693
Yes, Harry?
409
00:18:36,715 --> 00:18:38,460
Oh, it's not going to work.
410
00:18:38,481 --> 00:18:41,827
Time is up, Harry Bentley,
you speak to me right now.
411
00:18:41,847 --> 00:18:44,826
All right. All right.
412
00:18:44,846 --> 00:18:46,224
I can't while you're
looking at me.
413
00:18:46,246 --> 00:18:47,422
At least face the other way.
414
00:18:47,444 --> 00:18:49,857
Anything.
415
00:18:49,878 --> 00:18:54,091
Daphne, you're a wonderful girl,
416
00:18:54,110 --> 00:18:56,421
but I don't want to marry you.
417
00:18:56,441 --> 00:18:57,753
What?
418
00:18:57,776 --> 00:19:00,387
I know it's a shock,
but you'll get over me.
419
00:19:00,407 --> 00:19:04,254
No matter how devastated
you may feel now.
420
00:19:04,273 --> 00:19:05,784
Oh, please don't cry.
421
00:19:05,806 --> 00:19:09,152
You know, nature has a way
422
00:19:09,172 --> 00:19:11,450
of healing all wounds.
423
00:19:11,471 --> 00:19:14,617
Daphne, don't jump!
424
00:19:14,636 --> 00:19:16,614
I'm not worth it, Daphne!
425
00:19:16,636 --> 00:19:21,383
Harry! You are wonderful
and sweet and kind,
426
00:19:21,400 --> 00:19:23,879
but I don't want to
marry you, either.
427
00:19:23,900 --> 00:19:25,911
You don't? No.
428
00:19:25,932 --> 00:19:28,077
Then why were you so
anxious to see me today?
429
00:19:28,098 --> 00:19:31,377
Because I'm leaving
for England tomorrow.
430
00:19:31,397 --> 00:19:32,507
What?
431
00:19:32,530 --> 00:19:35,276
Yes, my company
suddenly decided to send me,
432
00:19:35,296 --> 00:19:37,875
and I wanted to ask you
where to stay and what to see,
433
00:19:37,895 --> 00:19:40,774
and I knew you'd like it if I
stopped in to see your parents.
434
00:19:40,795 --> 00:19:42,539
Oh.
435
00:19:42,560 --> 00:19:46,473
So, everything's fine now.
You don't want to marry me.
436
00:19:46,492 --> 00:19:52,441
Right. And I don't
want to marry you.
437
00:19:52,457 --> 00:19:56,971
Right. It's wonderful.
438
00:19:56,989 --> 00:20:00,802
There you go. All done.
Now you can go take your nap.
439
00:20:00,821 --> 00:20:04,156
Well, it still needs
a dash of Tabasco.
440
00:20:08,619 --> 00:20:11,464
You're going to set
your mouth on fire.
441
00:20:11,484 --> 00:20:13,429
It's good for your arteries.
442
00:20:13,450 --> 00:20:16,584
And it keeps the blood moving.
443
00:20:20,481 --> 00:20:21,926
That was delicious.
444
00:20:21,948 --> 00:20:23,992
Now Inspector,
back to our business.
445
00:20:24,013 --> 00:20:26,325
You were going to show
me some sort of paper?
446
00:20:26,346 --> 00:20:30,059
Oh, yeah. Take a look at this.
447
00:20:30,078 --> 00:20:32,056
That's $150.
448
00:20:32,078 --> 00:20:35,224
You add good.
449
00:20:35,243 --> 00:20:36,520
When you winked at me before,
450
00:20:36,543 --> 00:20:38,810
I should have known you
weren't trying to pick me up.
451
00:20:41,608 --> 00:20:43,385
But I'm not that hungry.
452
00:20:43,407 --> 00:20:44,384
Say what?
453
00:20:44,406 --> 00:20:45,584
Don't you know that
attempted bribery
454
00:20:45,607 --> 00:20:48,652
of a city official is
a serious offense?
455
00:20:48,672 --> 00:20:50,751
Bribery? What bribery?
456
00:20:50,772 --> 00:20:52,449
I ain't going to
offer you no bribery.
457
00:20:52,471 --> 00:20:55,283
Then why have you got
that money in your hand?
458
00:20:55,303 --> 00:21:01,875
Oh, um, I was just wondering
if you had change for $150.
459
00:21:04,666 --> 00:21:07,512
And you knew all along I
didn't want to marry you?
460
00:21:07,533 --> 00:21:08,510
Wait a minute, Keller!
461
00:21:08,532 --> 00:21:09,876
I'm just doing my job.
462
00:21:09,899 --> 00:21:12,078
I got to give you a citation
for those ventilators.
463
00:21:12,099 --> 00:21:13,475
Harry, maybe I'm
just a country girl
464
00:21:13,497 --> 00:21:15,275
from Issaquah, Washington.
465
00:21:15,296 --> 00:21:16,841
Issaquah?
466
00:21:16,863 --> 00:21:18,273
Yeah, you've heard of it?
467
00:21:18,295 --> 00:21:19,573
Heard of it?
468
00:21:19,596 --> 00:21:21,240
Everybody from North
Bend's heard of Issaquah.
469
00:21:21,261 --> 00:21:24,040
You're from North Bend
for heaven's sakes?
470
00:21:24,061 --> 00:21:25,706
Why don't you want to marry me?
471
00:21:25,728 --> 00:21:27,605
Maybe we met, way back when.
472
00:21:27,626 --> 00:21:29,204
Is there something
I've done or...
473
00:21:29,226 --> 00:21:32,238
Maybe at a football game.
Your team always beat us.
474
00:21:32,258 --> 00:21:35,037
Ah, but your team always
had the prettiest cheerleaders.
475
00:21:35,057 --> 00:21:37,302
Oh, thank you, I
was a cheerleader.
476
00:21:37,323 --> 00:21:40,836
So was I.
477
00:21:40,855 --> 00:21:42,766
Just tell me where I went wrong.
478
00:21:42,788 --> 00:21:44,166
This is incredible,
you're the first person
479
00:21:44,188 --> 00:21:46,365
from back home I've met
since I came to New York.
480
00:21:46,386 --> 00:21:47,397
Same with me.
481
00:21:47,420 --> 00:21:48,798
Your last chance,
Daphne. I'm warning you.
482
00:21:48,820 --> 00:21:49,963
We ought to have lunch sometime.
483
00:21:49,985 --> 00:21:50,962
What's wrong with right now?
484
00:21:50,985 --> 00:21:52,129
What do you say?
485
00:21:52,152 --> 00:21:55,198
I'd love it.
486
00:21:55,217 --> 00:21:57,662
Wait, Daphne, you
can't leave me like this.
487
00:21:57,683 --> 00:22:00,528
Sure she can. Have a nice lunch.
488
00:22:00,548 --> 00:22:02,960
It's all right Harry,
we can still be friends.
489
00:22:02,981 --> 00:22:04,959
I'm just as fond of
you as I ever was,
490
00:22:04,981 --> 00:22:08,227
I'll call you later,
lovey, goodbye.
491
00:22:08,246 --> 00:22:10,858
Congratulations, Mr. Bentley.
492
00:22:10,879 --> 00:22:13,124
You finally told her.
493
00:22:13,145 --> 00:22:17,292
Yes. I just hope
I wasn't too cruel.
494
00:22:17,310 --> 00:22:21,223
What a girl. What a girl!
She got me off the hook.
495
00:22:21,242 --> 00:22:22,419
Keller didn't give
me the citation.
496
00:22:22,441 --> 00:22:24,019
I don't have to
close down the store.
497
00:22:25,440 --> 00:22:29,253
Yeah, she's class, that Daphne.
Daphne is welcome here anytime.
498
00:22:29,272 --> 00:22:31,317
Thank you.
499
00:22:31,339 --> 00:22:34,018
Mr. Jefferson, I must tell
you, you did me a real favor
500
00:22:34,038 --> 00:22:35,615
introducing me to Daphne.
501
00:22:35,637 --> 00:22:36,915
You didn't have to come
502
00:22:36,937 --> 00:22:39,082
all the way back here
to thank me for that.
503
00:22:39,103 --> 00:22:41,181
Oh, but I did. See, if
Daphne hadn't reminded me,
504
00:22:41,202 --> 00:22:44,948
I would have forgotten all
about giving you this citation.
505
00:22:44,968 --> 00:22:46,128
Bye.
506
00:22:49,466 --> 00:22:52,579
Don't you ever bring that
old dumb Daphne over here.
507
00:22:52,598 --> 00:22:53,809
Thank you.
508
00:22:53,832 --> 00:22:56,110
So everybody has
his price, huh, George?
509
00:22:56,131 --> 00:22:57,876
I told you it was wrong.
510
00:22:57,897 --> 00:22:59,274
What's your price
for shutting up? Huh?
511
00:22:59,297 --> 00:23:01,241
You'll never learn,
will you? $50? Huh?
512
00:23:01,262 --> 00:23:04,475
So you know... $100?
That ain't enough.
513
00:23:04,495 --> 00:23:07,207
$150? Huh? Huh?
514
00:23:07,227 --> 00:23:11,340
Do you take credit cards?
515
00:23:11,359 --> 00:23:14,127
How about taking my life?
516
00:23:24,955 --> 00:23:26,767
Weezy! It worked!
517
00:23:26,788 --> 00:23:28,565
The judge let me off
with just a warning.
518
00:23:28,587 --> 00:23:30,832
Oh, that's wonderful.
519
00:23:30,853 --> 00:23:32,097
How'd you do it?
520
00:23:32,119 --> 00:23:33,830
Well, I just told him
the truth, that's all.
521
00:23:33,852 --> 00:23:35,263
It was all my fault.
522
00:23:35,285 --> 00:23:36,663
But I said me and Lionel worked
523
00:23:36,685 --> 00:23:37,895
the whole weekend
fixing the ventilators.
524
00:23:37,917 --> 00:23:39,194
And that did it?
525
00:23:39,217 --> 00:23:40,594
Yup. Didn't hurt
none when I told him
526
00:23:40,616 --> 00:23:42,962
I had a wife lying
home in bed, helpless.
527
00:23:42,983 --> 00:23:44,193
What?
528
00:23:44,215 --> 00:23:45,793
Well, that's the way
you looked at me
529
00:23:45,815 --> 00:23:47,793
this morning when I left.
Lying there, snoring away.
530
00:23:47,814 --> 00:23:51,426
George.
531
00:23:51,445 --> 00:23:54,625
Having a wife sure
comes in handy sometimes.
532
00:23:54,645 --> 00:23:58,058
George, I've been
thinking about Mr. Bentley.
533
00:23:58,078 --> 00:24:00,056
What would you have
done if I had said no
534
00:24:00,077 --> 00:24:01,855
when you asked me to marry you?
535
00:24:01,877 --> 00:24:03,587
I'd of killed myself.
536
00:24:03,608 --> 00:24:04,886
You wouldn't.
537
00:24:04,909 --> 00:24:06,186
Yes I would.
538
00:24:06,208 --> 00:24:08,586
You'd of killed yourself
because of me?
539
00:24:08,607 --> 00:24:12,609
No, because I spent my
last $50 bucks on that ring.
540
00:24:39,031 --> 00:24:41,509
The Jeffersons was
recorded on tape
541
00:24:41,530 --> 00:24:44,464
in front of a studio audience.
542
00:24:44,514 --> 00:24:49,064
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