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1
00:00:17,000 --> 00:00:18,800
TANNOY TONES
2
00:00:18,800 --> 00:00:20,680
Hello, campers.
3
00:00:20,680 --> 00:00:23,000
Rise and shine!
4
00:00:23,000 --> 00:00:25,000
It's another glorious day,
5
00:00:25,000 --> 00:00:29,720
and to get you in the mood,
the sun has got his hat on.
6
00:00:32,560 --> 00:00:36,440
MUSIC: Funeral March
by Frederic Chopin
7
00:00:39,360 --> 00:00:41,040
Oh!
8
00:00:39,360 --> 00:00:41,040
MUSIC STOPS
9
00:00:44,320 --> 00:00:46,920
I'm so sorry, campers.
10
00:00:46,920 --> 00:00:48,520
I don't know how that happened.
11
00:00:53,760 --> 00:00:56,320
Come on, Mavis. I know you can
squeeze me in.
12
00:00:56,320 --> 00:00:58,280
I can't seem to get it up.
13
00:00:58,280 --> 00:00:59,680
Have either of you seen Kitty?
14
00:00:59,680 --> 00:01:01,240
Not recently, no.
15
00:01:01,240 --> 00:01:03,000
She was out all night.
It's not like her.
16
00:01:03,000 --> 00:01:04,640
Why don't you ask Mrs...?
17
00:01:04,640 --> 00:01:06,560
Mrs Chummy, I was wondering...
Not now, Sandy.
18
00:01:07,960 --> 00:01:11,200
What in the name of all things holy?
19
00:01:11,200 --> 00:01:12,920
This is my new routine, this is!
20
00:01:12,920 --> 00:01:15,160
When all the campers are having
their breakfast,
21
00:01:15,160 --> 00:01:16,800
I lay hardboiled eggs for them.
22
00:01:16,800 --> 00:01:18,560
HE CLUCKS
23
00:01:18,560 --> 00:01:22,040
Congratulations on plumbing new
depths of vulgarity.
24
00:01:22,040 --> 00:01:25,880
Now, who is responsible
for today's prank?
25
00:01:25,880 --> 00:01:27,520
Not me, Mrs Chummy.
Oh, no.
26
00:01:27,520 --> 00:01:29,760
That music really put
the willies up me.
27
00:01:29,760 --> 00:01:33,000
Well, whoever it is, it has got
to stop.
28
00:01:33,000 --> 00:01:36,520
We've got VIPs coming from all over
the country this weekend.
29
00:01:36,520 --> 00:01:39,000
And the creme de la creme
of Kembleford.
30
00:01:39,000 --> 00:01:41,080
We cannot afford any nonsense!
31
00:01:41,080 --> 00:01:43,000
Who did it?
32
00:01:43,000 --> 00:01:45,760
Who made that monstrous thing
out there?
33
00:01:45,760 --> 00:01:47,040
What is it, Jock?
34
00:01:49,000 --> 00:01:50,400
What?
35
00:02:06,200 --> 00:02:07,560
No!
36
00:02:35,200 --> 00:02:36,680
Oh, hello, Father!
37
00:02:36,680 --> 00:02:38,840
Never had you down as having
green fingers.
38
00:02:38,840 --> 00:02:42,160
I'm looking after the garden while
Mrs McCarthy is away.
39
00:02:42,160 --> 00:02:44,960
And I hope that everything survives
until she gets back.
40
00:02:44,960 --> 00:02:46,240
Where's she gone?
41
00:02:46,240 --> 00:02:49,400
To Ireland. To visit her sister.
42
00:02:49,400 --> 00:02:51,880
And it is only in her absence
that I realise how much
43
00:02:51,880 --> 00:02:53,760
I rely on her.
44
00:02:53,760 --> 00:02:56,640
Still, everyone deserves a holiday!
45
00:02:56,640 --> 00:02:58,840
Very true. Oh, speaking of which...
46
00:03:00,600 --> 00:03:02,040
..did you get one of these?
47
00:03:04,080 --> 00:03:06,600
An invitation to Chummy's
Holiday Camp.
48
00:03:06,600 --> 00:03:07,880
I'm intrigued.
49
00:03:07,880 --> 00:03:10,760
Well, we're going, and the Inspector
and his family.
50
00:03:10,760 --> 00:03:12,920
Should be a nice relaxing weekend.
51
00:03:12,920 --> 00:03:14,200
Let's hope so.
52
00:03:14,200 --> 00:03:16,600
Cheerio, Father.
Cheerio, Sergeant.
53
00:03:20,160 --> 00:03:23,720
TANNOY TONES
54
00:03:20,160 --> 00:03:23,720
Hello, campers.
55
00:03:23,720 --> 00:03:25,880
Rise and shine!
56
00:03:25,880 --> 00:03:29,000
And what a load of frolics
we have for you today.
57
00:03:29,000 --> 00:03:33,480
At 11 o'clock, our ever-popular
knobbly knees competition,
58
00:03:33,480 --> 00:03:37,680
followed by an Egyptian cabaret.
59
00:03:37,680 --> 00:03:41,960
Something for everyone, whether you
like Egypt or knees.
60
00:03:43,840 --> 00:03:47,000
But it was 20 years ago -
my late husband,
61
00:03:47,000 --> 00:03:49,680
Charlie, and I built this camp.
62
00:03:49,680 --> 00:03:52,320
And tonight we are having a gala
celebration
63
00:03:52,320 --> 00:03:55,400
with stars old and new.
64
00:03:55,400 --> 00:03:59,040
So come along and let the memories
come flooding back.
65
00:04:06,520 --> 00:04:09,120
# We're all chums at Chummy's...
66
00:04:09,120 --> 00:04:11,000
Yes.
67
00:04:11,000 --> 00:04:15,040
# Loyal to the end
68
00:04:15,040 --> 00:04:20,160
# Come here as a stranger and
you'll go away... #
69
00:04:20,160 --> 00:04:21,760
Good morning, everybody.
70
00:04:21,760 --> 00:04:23,200
Good morning, Mrs Chummy.
71
00:04:23,200 --> 00:04:25,920
Now, as you know, today is
our anniversary...
72
00:04:25,920 --> 00:04:27,200
Oh!
73
00:04:27,200 --> 00:04:29,960
Sorry I'm late,
I was helping a lost child.
74
00:04:29,960 --> 00:04:32,600
Really? Well, it's a pity you didn't
get lost yourself,
75
00:04:32,600 --> 00:04:34,160
but never mind.
76
00:04:34,160 --> 00:04:37,400
As I was saying, today is
our anniversary.
77
00:04:37,400 --> 00:04:41,040
So there must be no more pranks,
or any kind of silliness.
78
00:04:41,040 --> 00:04:43,800
Yes, Mrs Chummy. Woof, Mrs Chummy.
79
00:04:43,800 --> 00:04:47,440
So Sandy will be meeting our VIPs.
If that's all right with you?
80
00:04:47,440 --> 00:04:48,680
Of course, Mrs Chummy.
81
00:04:48,680 --> 00:04:51,400
Which means that you will
be in charge
82
00:04:51,400 --> 00:04:52,880
of the knobbly knees competition.
83
00:04:52,880 --> 00:04:54,600
Oh, Mrs Chummy, please!
84
00:04:54,600 --> 00:04:56,440
Knobbly knees are beneath me!
85
00:04:56,440 --> 00:04:58,520
I am a highly-skilled entertainer.
86
00:04:58,520 --> 00:05:00,840
Ha! Well, your secret's safe
with me.
87
00:05:00,840 --> 00:05:03,000
You keep your little wet nose
out of it.
88
00:05:03,000 --> 00:05:07,200
Mrs Chummy, if he doesn't want to,
I'd love to have a go.
89
00:05:09,600 --> 00:05:15,160
"Friends, campers, countrymen -
lend me your knees!"
90
00:05:15,160 --> 00:05:16,400
No!
91
00:05:16,400 --> 00:05:18,280
Mavis, how many times?
92
00:05:18,280 --> 00:05:20,520
The reason Chummy's has
lasted so long
93
00:05:20,520 --> 00:05:22,480
is because everyone knows
their place.
94
00:05:22,480 --> 00:05:25,120
And your place is at the end
of this!
95
00:05:36,240 --> 00:05:37,560
Morning.
96
00:05:43,680 --> 00:05:45,160
How was your chalet, Father?
97
00:05:46,320 --> 00:05:49,520
Quite sufficient for one night.
98
00:05:49,520 --> 00:05:51,480
They don't really go in
for home comforts here.
99
00:05:51,480 --> 00:05:53,640
They want you out and about,
having fun.
100
00:05:54,920 --> 00:05:58,240
Speaking of which, I have to go
and find the Inspector.
101
00:05:58,240 --> 00:05:59,600
I'll see you later, Father.
102
00:06:03,120 --> 00:06:04,400
Father Brown?
103
00:06:04,400 --> 00:06:05,720
Hello.
I'm Sandy.
104
00:06:05,720 --> 00:06:07,080
Sandy Beauchamp.
105
00:06:07,080 --> 00:06:10,200
And I've come to show you
the Island of Dreams.
106
00:06:10,200 --> 00:06:11,960
You must be a...
107
00:06:11,960 --> 00:06:13,560
Orangecoat.
Oh, yes!
108
00:06:13,560 --> 00:06:15,360
Yes.
Of course.
109
00:06:15,360 --> 00:06:18,160
Is it fun?
Oh, yeah. Every day is so exciting.
110
00:06:18,160 --> 00:06:20,200
Some days it's quite hard
to finish my breakfast.
111
00:06:21,320 --> 00:06:24,680
And what would you say was the
secret of Chummy's success?
112
00:06:24,680 --> 00:06:26,160
Er, variety.
113
00:06:26,160 --> 00:06:29,640
Everywhere you go,
there's a new gay adventure.
114
00:06:29,640 --> 00:06:32,760
So, shall I take you to the lady
who made it all happen?
115
00:06:32,760 --> 00:06:36,680
TANNOY TONES
116
00:06:32,760 --> 00:06:36,680
Hello, campers.
117
00:06:36,680 --> 00:06:39,000
It's knobbly knees time!
118
00:06:39,000 --> 00:06:42,000
So, whether your knees are bonny
or bony,
119
00:06:42,000 --> 00:06:45,480
bring them along to our magnificent
outdoor pool.
120
00:06:51,720 --> 00:06:54,320
Oh, Father Brown!
121
00:06:54,320 --> 00:06:57,240
Our illustrious guest.
122
00:06:57,240 --> 00:06:59,200
I was most surprised to be invited.
123
00:06:59,200 --> 00:07:02,600
Oh, I've always been very interested
in the church.
124
00:07:02,600 --> 00:07:05,000
The liturgy, the traditions.
125
00:07:05,000 --> 00:07:07,200
You are very welcome at Mass
tomorrow.
126
00:07:07,200 --> 00:07:10,800
I said I was interested.
I didn't say I was obsessed.
127
00:07:10,800 --> 00:07:13,360
But it's so nice to have you here.
128
00:07:13,360 --> 00:07:15,800
Allow me to give you the grand tour.
129
00:07:20,400 --> 00:07:23,280
Now, my husband, Charlie, was one
of the big nobs
130
00:07:23,280 --> 00:07:25,000
of the entertainment industry.
131
00:07:25,000 --> 00:07:27,160
But so many of his childhood
holidays
132
00:07:27,160 --> 00:07:28,800
were ruined by the rain.
133
00:07:28,800 --> 00:07:31,560
So, back in 1933, he dreamed of
a place
134
00:07:31,560 --> 00:07:35,200
where the fun flows freely
and rain never stops play.
135
00:07:35,200 --> 00:07:37,480
20 years on, here we are!
136
00:07:37,480 --> 00:07:41,000
Oh, later on, we're having a little
talent contest
137
00:07:41,000 --> 00:07:43,400
if you fancy giving us a turn?
138
00:07:43,400 --> 00:07:45,000
I know one or two songs.
139
00:07:46,120 --> 00:07:47,760
What about...
No, no, not now.
140
00:07:47,760 --> 00:07:50,320
I don't want to pre-judge.
141
00:07:50,320 --> 00:07:53,640
This is a very special place.
Dream Cottage.
142
00:07:53,640 --> 00:07:55,040
Charlie and I used to live here.
143
00:07:55,040 --> 00:07:58,000
I still do, and it's very much
the beating heart
144
00:07:58,000 --> 00:08:00,000
of the operation.
145
00:08:00,000 --> 00:08:02,120
Mrs Chummy?
Hm?
146
00:08:02,120 --> 00:08:04,000
I'm intrigued.
Yes?
147
00:08:04,000 --> 00:08:06,080
The swimming pool is such
a feature of Chummy's,
148
00:08:06,080 --> 00:08:10,200
and yet, in 1938, it was a sandpit.
149
00:08:10,200 --> 00:08:11,760
Was it?
150
00:08:11,760 --> 00:08:14,600
I think we were just
conserving water.
151
00:08:14,600 --> 00:08:17,160
Mrs Chummy,
I don't like to interrupt.
152
00:08:17,160 --> 00:08:18,440
Well, then, don't.
153
00:08:18,440 --> 00:08:20,240
But I've just found out that Sylvia,
154
00:08:20,240 --> 00:08:22,000
who was due to do the
sports day today,
155
00:08:22,000 --> 00:08:23,920
has got a gippy tummy.
And?
156
00:08:23,920 --> 00:08:26,240
And I thought maybe I could
help out.
157
00:08:26,240 --> 00:08:29,000
I could organise the limbo dancing.
Indeed.
158
00:08:29,000 --> 00:08:32,400
As you're so good at bending
backwards for the guests.
159
00:08:32,400 --> 00:08:35,000
But you are not, and will never be,
an Orangecoat.
160
00:08:35,000 --> 00:08:37,520
Haven't you got any floors to mop?
161
00:08:37,520 --> 00:08:39,000
Yes, Mrs Chummy.
162
00:08:39,000 --> 00:08:40,520
Sorry, Mrs Chummy.
163
00:08:42,400 --> 00:08:46,000
I'm sorry. I do hope that didn't
seem too harsh.
164
00:08:46,000 --> 00:08:47,480
It did a bit.
165
00:08:48,600 --> 00:08:50,560
Well, I apologise, but here
at Chummy's,
166
00:08:50,560 --> 00:08:53,000
we have to run a very tight ship,
167
00:08:53,000 --> 00:08:56,680
which is why our trophy cabinet
is simply
168
00:08:56,680 --> 00:08:58,320
groaning with awards.
169
00:09:00,520 --> 00:09:02,240
Ah!
170
00:09:02,240 --> 00:09:05,520
Oh! This is someone's idea
of a joke!
171
00:09:05,520 --> 00:09:07,360
Mavis!
172
00:09:07,360 --> 00:09:09,680
Mavis!
Yes, Mrs Chummy?
173
00:09:09,680 --> 00:09:11,760
Will you get rid of this?
174
00:09:15,760 --> 00:09:17,560
Roll up! Roll up!
175
00:09:17,560 --> 00:09:20,400
Who wants to roll up their
trouser legs,
176
00:09:20,400 --> 00:09:23,280
expose their knees to the breeze?
177
00:09:23,280 --> 00:09:25,680
Come on, sir, it's just
a bit of fun.
178
00:09:25,680 --> 00:09:29,800
I fail to see the appeal
of naked kneecaps.
179
00:09:29,800 --> 00:09:32,000
First prize is a barrel of beer.
180
00:09:32,000 --> 00:09:33,640
John, hold my coat.
181
00:09:35,600 --> 00:09:37,960
Inspector.
Padre.
182
00:09:37,960 --> 00:09:41,360
Don't tell me it's a mortal sin
to expose one's kneecaps?
183
00:09:41,360 --> 00:09:44,240
On the contrary,
the Bible is clear,
184
00:09:44,240 --> 00:09:47,240
one should not hide one's light
under a bushel.
185
00:09:47,240 --> 00:09:48,680
Very droll.
186
00:09:48,680 --> 00:09:53,400
JOCK: Right, let's get them lined up
by the...tedium.
187
00:09:54,760 --> 00:09:56,320
Stadium.
188
00:09:56,320 --> 00:09:58,880
Is everything all right, mate?
No, its not.
189
00:09:58,880 --> 00:10:01,560
I didn't want to do this.
190
00:09:58,880 --> 00:10:01,560
CHILD LAUGHS
191
00:10:01,560 --> 00:10:04,080
And they're far too close
to the edge!
192
00:10:04,080 --> 00:10:06,800
Where's Mavis? She's supposed to be
supervising.
193
00:10:06,800 --> 00:10:08,880
Mavis? What are you talking about?
194
00:10:08,880 --> 00:10:10,720
Is everything tickety-boo?
195
00:10:10,720 --> 00:10:12,600
Jock's just having a moment.
196
00:10:12,600 --> 00:10:14,480
Well, you take over the competition.
197
00:10:14,480 --> 00:10:16,760
And, Jock, come with me.
198
00:10:16,760 --> 00:10:18,280
I want a word with you.
199
00:10:36,680 --> 00:10:38,200
Mind if I join you?
200
00:10:38,200 --> 00:10:40,320
It's a free country.
201
00:10:40,320 --> 00:10:43,840
How did you get on in the knobbly
knees contest, Inspector?
202
00:10:43,840 --> 00:10:45,760
Go on, sir. Don't be modest.
203
00:10:47,480 --> 00:10:49,320
Third prize.
204
00:10:49,320 --> 00:10:52,120
Mrs McCarthy may have found fame
with her scones,
205
00:10:52,120 --> 00:10:54,080
but I have won a prize
for my patella.
206
00:10:58,680 --> 00:11:01,080
APPLAUSE
207
00:11:04,240 --> 00:11:07,400
# We're off to Egypt
208
00:11:07,400 --> 00:11:10,720
# Underneath the desert sun
209
00:11:10,720 --> 00:11:14,000
# No place like Egypt
210
00:11:14,000 --> 00:11:17,120
# Far away from everyone
211
00:11:17,120 --> 00:11:20,560
# So we say farewell
to Chummy's
212
00:11:20,560 --> 00:11:24,000
# Heading for the land of mummies
213
00:11:24,000 --> 00:11:27,240
# We're off to Egypt
214
00:11:27,240 --> 00:11:29,760
# Come along and join the fun. #
215
00:11:32,920 --> 00:11:36,480
So, here I am.
216
00:11:36,480 --> 00:11:41,640
On the trail of the rootin'
Tutankhamun.
217
00:11:41,640 --> 00:11:44,080
KNOCKING
218
00:11:41,640 --> 00:11:44,080
But what's that sound?
219
00:11:44,080 --> 00:11:46,360
Is it my black pudding coming back
to haunt me?
220
00:11:48,520 --> 00:11:50,520
Look who it is!
221
00:11:50,520 --> 00:11:52,040
It's...
222
00:11:54,080 --> 00:11:56,440
Well, I'm sorry, ladies and
gentlemen.
223
00:11:56,440 --> 00:11:57,680
I...
224
00:11:58,720 --> 00:12:00,520
Sorry.
Look who it is!
225
00:12:00,520 --> 00:12:02,880
It's Uncle Jock!
226
00:12:02,880 --> 00:12:04,440
But he's not going to help.
227
00:12:04,440 --> 00:12:06,040
He's all wrapped up.
228
00:12:19,560 --> 00:12:22,520
MUSIC PLAYS
229
00:12:48,320 --> 00:12:49,680
Whoa!
230
00:12:52,000 --> 00:12:53,800
TANNOY TONES
231
00:12:53,800 --> 00:12:56,000
Well, wasn't that fun, everybody?
232
00:12:56,000 --> 00:13:00,320
But yummy, yummy, yummy -
there's a rumbling in my tummy!
233
00:13:00,320 --> 00:13:03,680
Thank goodness it's time for...
SHE SCREAMS
234
00:13:03,680 --> 00:13:06,120
SHE CHOKES
235
00:13:06,120 --> 00:13:09,040
Kembleford police!
Everyone stay right where you are!
236
00:13:14,000 --> 00:13:16,680
KNOCKING
Mrs Chummy, are you all right?
237
00:13:18,120 --> 00:13:19,440
Mrs Chummy?
238
00:13:20,880 --> 00:13:23,360
Mrs Chummy? Move out the way,
please.
239
00:13:29,760 --> 00:13:32,520
Oh! Oh, Mrs Chummy!
240
00:13:32,520 --> 00:13:34,840
Just take some deep breaths.
You'll be all right.
241
00:13:34,840 --> 00:13:36,600
Oh!
242
00:13:36,600 --> 00:13:39,000
There must be a homicidal
maniac about!
243
00:13:39,000 --> 00:13:41,200
Perhaps we should turn off
the microphone?
244
00:13:45,680 --> 00:13:51,000
Requiem aeternam dona ei, Domine,
et lux perpetua luceat ei.
245
00:13:52,480 --> 00:13:55,520
Offerentes eam in conspectu
Altissimi.
246
00:13:55,520 --> 00:13:57,600
Amen.
Finally.
247
00:13:57,600 --> 00:13:59,040
You can go now, Padre.
248
00:14:00,640 --> 00:14:02,120
She's been strangled.
249
00:14:02,120 --> 00:14:04,880
I'm well aware of that, thank you.
250
00:14:04,880 --> 00:14:08,240
And on the 20th anniversary
of her husband's creation.
251
00:14:08,240 --> 00:14:10,720
And you think the date
is significant?
252
00:14:10,720 --> 00:14:14,360
Indeed I do. Earlier today,
I saw a clown statue
253
00:14:14,360 --> 00:14:16,600
dressed as the Grim Reaper.
254
00:14:16,600 --> 00:14:19,000
It now looks as if it was
a prophecy.
255
00:14:19,000 --> 00:14:22,200
Oh, Lord. Oh, blessed David and all
the saints.
256
00:14:22,200 --> 00:14:24,000
I don't think I'll be able
to sleep tonight.
257
00:14:24,000 --> 00:14:25,680
They'll put us under
police protection.
258
00:14:25,680 --> 00:14:27,200
If there is someone out there.
259
00:14:28,440 --> 00:14:29,760
Oh, it's you.
260
00:14:29,760 --> 00:14:33,720
Now, I have to ask,
are you the real thing,
261
00:14:33,720 --> 00:14:35,560
or is this fancy dress?
262
00:14:35,560 --> 00:14:36,880
The real thing.
263
00:14:38,200 --> 00:14:40,600
At least, I try my best.
264
00:14:40,600 --> 00:14:42,200
Any sign of the Inspector?
265
00:14:42,200 --> 00:14:44,120
He's talking to Jock,
266
00:14:44,120 --> 00:14:46,200
who'll be telling him
theatrical anecdotes.
267
00:14:46,200 --> 00:14:49,000
Oh, he'll be gone till doomsday.
268
00:14:49,000 --> 00:14:52,000
I understand Mr McCudgeon was here
from the very beginning?
269
00:14:52,000 --> 00:14:54,680
Yeah, that's right. And he's always
saying he's going to be here
270
00:14:54,680 --> 00:14:57,440
till Old Father Time brings down
the curtain.
271
00:14:57,440 --> 00:14:59,160
Well, that won't be possible now,
will it?
272
00:15:00,400 --> 00:15:03,000
Chummy's will have to close.
No!
273
00:15:03,000 --> 00:15:04,480
We can't close!
274
00:15:04,480 --> 00:15:06,400
We're booked solid till the end
of the season.
275
00:15:06,400 --> 00:15:08,400
We've got the big show tonight!
276
00:15:08,400 --> 00:15:09,800
The show must go on?
277
00:15:09,800 --> 00:15:11,360
I-I think so. There are people
coming
278
00:15:11,360 --> 00:15:12,720
from all over the country.
279
00:15:13,840 --> 00:15:15,440
Sergeant...?
Not now, Father.
280
00:15:16,480 --> 00:15:18,120
Someone seems in a bit of a hurry.
281
00:15:20,240 --> 00:15:21,760
Hello, everyone.
282
00:15:21,760 --> 00:15:24,840
Tea? Coffee? Ovaltine?
283
00:15:24,840 --> 00:15:27,280
Mavis, what are you doing here?
284
00:15:27,280 --> 00:15:28,680
What do you mean?
285
00:15:28,680 --> 00:15:30,800
The police told us to sit and wait
to be interviewed.
286
00:15:30,800 --> 00:15:32,000
Yeah, but they've done me.
287
00:15:32,000 --> 00:15:33,840
So I thought I'd give out
some refreshments.
288
00:15:33,840 --> 00:15:35,560
Is that wise?
What?
289
00:15:37,160 --> 00:15:39,880
You're not suggesting that I'm
trying to poison people?
290
00:15:39,880 --> 00:15:41,160
No, I never said that.
291
00:15:41,160 --> 00:15:42,640
They spoke to me first!
292
00:15:42,640 --> 00:15:45,520
They let me go.
They know I'm innocent.
293
00:15:45,520 --> 00:15:47,320
Mavis Jug?
Yes?
294
00:15:47,320 --> 00:15:49,280
I'm arresting you on suspicion
of the murder
295
00:15:49,280 --> 00:15:51,160
of Mrs Marjorie Chummy.
No!
296
00:15:51,160 --> 00:15:52,680
You're not obliged to say anything,
297
00:15:52,680 --> 00:15:54,640
but anything you do say may be given
in evidence.
298
00:15:54,640 --> 00:15:56,920
This is madness. I'm innocent.
299
00:15:58,600 --> 00:16:00,560
I'll charge Miss Jug back at
the station.
300
00:16:00,560 --> 00:16:02,400
You stay and secure
the crime scene.
301
00:16:04,080 --> 00:16:06,640
I'm taken aback, Sergeant.
302
00:16:06,640 --> 00:16:09,320
That was a brutal strangulation,
303
00:16:09,320 --> 00:16:11,640
and Mavis seems like
a gentle soul.
304
00:16:11,640 --> 00:16:13,680
We've just been searching
her lodgings,
305
00:16:13,680 --> 00:16:15,920
found the murder weapon, Father.
306
00:16:15,920 --> 00:16:18,480
How did she have time to go back
to her lodgings?
307
00:16:18,480 --> 00:16:22,240
Well, she was the only one in the
area when the crime took place.
308
00:16:22,240 --> 00:16:24,520
Why be so foolish?
309
00:16:24,520 --> 00:16:27,800
Why choose a time when everyone else
has a perfect alibi?
310
00:16:30,520 --> 00:16:32,040
Unless that was the idea?
311
00:16:44,480 --> 00:16:46,120
TAPPING
312
00:16:46,120 --> 00:16:50,560
So, Mrs Chummy's death was
broadcast,
313
00:16:50,560 --> 00:16:52,760
but how do we know it was live?
314
00:16:52,760 --> 00:16:55,880
Er, because we heard it.
315
00:16:55,880 --> 00:16:58,640
"Yummy, yummy, yummy -
there's a rumbling in my tummy!"
316
00:16:58,640 --> 00:17:01,600
She must have said that every day.
317
00:17:01,600 --> 00:17:05,000
What if the killer recorded it
on another day,
318
00:17:05,000 --> 00:17:07,720
and then added the sounds
of strangulation?
319
00:17:07,720 --> 00:17:11,000
They'd still need to be here
to turn it on, Father.
320
00:17:11,000 --> 00:17:13,800
If the recording was at
the end of the reel,
321
00:17:13,800 --> 00:17:16,240
the killer could've murdered
Mrs Chummy, pressed play...
322
00:17:17,800 --> 00:17:20,760
..and the announcement wouldn't have
gone out till 12:45.
323
00:17:22,200 --> 00:17:25,000
But there's no tape in the machine.
324
00:17:25,000 --> 00:17:27,440
Because it's been removed.
325
00:17:27,440 --> 00:17:30,520
Presumably while we were preoccupied
with the corpse.
326
00:17:33,280 --> 00:17:35,080
How the devil did they do that?
327
00:17:41,800 --> 00:17:44,120
And how is the Inspector's
health and temper?
328
00:17:44,120 --> 00:17:46,000
At the moment, I don't think you'd
mistake him
329
00:17:46,000 --> 00:17:47,240
for a ray of sunshine.
330
00:17:47,240 --> 00:17:48,840
Oh, dear.
Hm.
331
00:17:48,840 --> 00:17:52,560
He says there was only one person
in the area.
332
00:17:52,560 --> 00:17:55,360
Mavis. One person with no alibi.
333
00:17:55,360 --> 00:17:56,720
Mavis.
334
00:17:56,720 --> 00:17:59,480
And that Mrs Chummy was strangled
with an apron belonging to...
335
00:17:59,480 --> 00:18:00,840
..Mavis.
336
00:18:00,840 --> 00:18:03,680
Although it is an unusual killer
that takes the murder weapon
337
00:18:03,680 --> 00:18:05,200
home with them.
338
00:18:05,200 --> 00:18:08,240
He claims she wasn't in her right
state of mind.
339
00:18:08,240 --> 00:18:10,640
For years, she's been begging to
become an Orangecoat.
340
00:18:10,640 --> 00:18:13,400
But Mrs Chummy would only ever use
her as a maid.
341
00:18:14,520 --> 00:18:18,400
I suspect the sheer frustration
caused her to snap.
342
00:18:18,400 --> 00:18:20,400
I see.
343
00:18:20,400 --> 00:18:23,560
Yes, I imagine that is a nightmare
of the Inspector's -
344
00:18:23,560 --> 00:18:26,680
the downtrodden workers overthrowing
their tyrannical bosses.
345
00:18:28,120 --> 00:18:29,920
You've got to admit, though, Father,
346
00:18:29,920 --> 00:18:32,920
until we find the tape that
the killer used,
347
00:18:32,920 --> 00:18:35,000
we've not really got much to go on.
348
00:18:35,000 --> 00:18:37,160
I've got a horrible feeling
the Inspector may get
349
00:18:37,160 --> 00:18:38,520
his way with this one.
350
00:18:38,520 --> 00:18:41,080
Although, we do have an advantage
over the Inspector.
351
00:18:41,080 --> 00:18:43,600
And what's that?
Our ability to listen.
352
00:18:44,520 --> 00:18:45,960
I didn't do it.
353
00:18:45,960 --> 00:18:47,400
I didn't like Mrs Chummy,
354
00:18:47,400 --> 00:18:49,440
but why would I want to
throttle her?
355
00:18:52,240 --> 00:18:55,040
Do you know anyone who might have
wanted to harm her?
356
00:18:58,360 --> 00:19:01,000
We both saw that Grim Reaper
earlier.
357
00:19:01,000 --> 00:19:03,000
We've had all sorts of pranks.
358
00:19:03,000 --> 00:19:05,400
Funny noises over the tannoy,
359
00:19:05,400 --> 00:19:08,680
a dummy of Mrs Chummy with a knife
sticking out of it.
360
00:19:08,680 --> 00:19:10,280
How long has this been going on?
361
00:19:10,280 --> 00:19:12,560
Oh, about two weeks.
362
00:19:14,760 --> 00:19:17,360
Is there anybody who might have
born a grudge against her?
363
00:19:20,360 --> 00:19:22,000
I can think of one.
364
00:19:23,480 --> 00:19:27,320
For the past few weeks, Sandy's been
looking after a stray cat,
365
00:19:27,320 --> 00:19:28,840
Kitty.
366
00:19:28,840 --> 00:19:30,560
But then it went missing.
367
00:19:30,560 --> 00:19:34,000
Darling, I told you before,
pets are not permitted.
368
00:19:34,000 --> 00:19:35,720
I gave you an ultimatum
to get rid of it.
369
00:19:35,720 --> 00:19:38,760
How could I do that?
I don't know.
370
00:19:38,760 --> 00:19:41,000
Down a well, possibly.
371
00:19:41,000 --> 00:19:44,440
Anyway, you won't need to worry
about it now.
372
00:19:44,440 --> 00:19:45,840
Do you know where she is?
373
00:19:45,840 --> 00:19:48,160
As I say, you won't need to worry.
374
00:19:48,160 --> 00:19:50,920
If you've hurt a single hair on
that animal's head, I'll...
375
00:19:50,920 --> 00:19:53,040
CLATTERING
376
00:19:54,680 --> 00:19:56,080
What happened?
377
00:19:56,080 --> 00:19:59,520
I dropped my bucket and Mrs Chummy
told me to sling my hook, so...
378
00:20:03,000 --> 00:20:04,640
Why frame you for the murder?
379
00:20:06,360 --> 00:20:10,560
Is there any reason why someone
might bear you ill will?
380
00:20:10,560 --> 00:20:11,920
I don't think so.
381
00:20:13,000 --> 00:20:15,640
I just do my best to keep
my head down,
382
00:20:15,640 --> 00:20:17,040
keep going.
383
00:20:20,120 --> 00:20:22,400
Am I going to hang for this,
Father?
384
00:20:22,400 --> 00:20:24,640
I will do all I can to prevent it.
385
00:20:33,880 --> 00:20:36,840
So, how is she, Father?
386
00:20:36,840 --> 00:20:38,720
Not good.
387
00:20:38,720 --> 00:20:41,840
I think she has survived her whole
life on hope -
388
00:20:41,840 --> 00:20:43,640
and reserves are running dry.
389
00:20:46,160 --> 00:20:47,720
I need to get back to the camp.
390
00:20:48,760 --> 00:20:52,400
Well, I've got the day off
and a full tank of petrol.
391
00:20:53,920 --> 00:20:55,800
Good.
392
00:20:55,800 --> 00:20:57,560
Let's go and see a man about a cat.
393
00:21:02,440 --> 00:21:03,800
Please. Take a seat.
394
00:21:04,800 --> 00:21:09,000
Oh, this is very...
395
00:21:09,000 --> 00:21:10,400
Small.
396
00:21:10,400 --> 00:21:12,040
I was going to say cosy.
397
00:21:14,360 --> 00:21:16,120
Were you fond of Mrs Chummy?
398
00:21:16,120 --> 00:21:18,240
Yeah, I thought she was amazing.
399
00:21:18,240 --> 00:21:22,160
It takes a special type of person to
create their own magical world.
400
00:21:22,160 --> 00:21:24,240
Someone who is utterly driven,
401
00:21:24,240 --> 00:21:26,560
and will stop at nothing
to get what they want?
402
00:21:27,600 --> 00:21:29,040
I don't know what do you mean.
403
00:21:29,040 --> 00:21:30,560
Well...
404
00:21:30,560 --> 00:21:34,560
..you were overheard having an
argument with Mrs Chummy,
405
00:21:34,560 --> 00:21:36,800
about something that had been
taken away.
406
00:21:36,800 --> 00:21:38,640
Oh, no. It's not like that.
I...
407
00:21:40,800 --> 00:21:42,520
Are you all right?
408
00:21:42,520 --> 00:21:44,480
I just...
409
00:21:44,480 --> 00:21:46,800
I think I'm going to...
410
00:21:46,800 --> 00:21:48,320
HE SNEEZES
411
00:21:48,320 --> 00:21:50,000
Bless you.
412
00:21:50,000 --> 00:21:52,480
A very violent sneeze, Sergeant.
413
00:21:52,480 --> 00:21:54,200
I'm sorry, Father.
414
00:21:54,200 --> 00:21:56,120
I couldn't help myself.
415
00:21:56,120 --> 00:22:00,280
Are you perhaps allergic to
certain animals?
416
00:22:00,280 --> 00:22:02,080
Oh, sorry. I forgot to mention.
417
00:22:04,640 --> 00:22:05,920
Here, Kitty.
418
00:22:05,920 --> 00:22:07,520
Kitty. Aw!
419
00:22:08,800 --> 00:22:12,000
Kitty came to live with me and
Mrs Chummy found out
420
00:22:12,000 --> 00:22:13,720
and confiscated it to teach me
a lesson.
421
00:22:13,720 --> 00:22:16,120
But I just said, "If you've done
anything to hurt my cat,
422
00:22:16,120 --> 00:22:17,480
"I shall resign."
423
00:22:17,480 --> 00:22:18,840
What did she say to that?
424
00:22:18,840 --> 00:22:20,480
She said, "Just keep it out
of my sight
425
00:22:20,480 --> 00:22:22,200
"and don't get any hairs
on your uniform."
426
00:22:22,200 --> 00:22:23,680
THEY CHUCKLE
427
00:22:22,200 --> 00:22:23,680
So...
428
00:22:23,680 --> 00:22:26,200
If you stood up to Mrs Chummy,
then she respected you.
429
00:22:26,200 --> 00:22:31,160
It's only if you were a bit weak,
she tended to bully you.
430
00:22:32,720 --> 00:22:34,880
Who in particular did she bully?
431
00:22:36,760 --> 00:22:40,000
W... You know, if I had
to say someone,
432
00:22:40,000 --> 00:22:41,600
it'd be Jock.
433
00:22:41,600 --> 00:22:45,720
He does his best, but he does get
in a bit of a muddle.
434
00:22:45,720 --> 00:22:48,400
And, yeah, she really used
to pick on him.
435
00:22:49,960 --> 00:22:52,200
You don't really think it could
be Jock, do you, Father?
436
00:22:52,200 --> 00:22:55,240
I mean, he seems like he's in
a world all of his own.
437
00:22:55,240 --> 00:22:56,800
Unless it's all an act.
438
00:22:56,800 --> 00:22:58,480
And that's the way to do it!
439
00:22:58,480 --> 00:23:00,480
That's the way to do it!
440
00:23:00,480 --> 00:23:01,840
Mr McCudgeon?
441
00:23:01,840 --> 00:23:03,280
What is it?
442
00:23:05,800 --> 00:23:08,000
Sorry.
May we have a word?
443
00:23:08,000 --> 00:23:09,360
Oh, yes.
444
00:23:17,560 --> 00:23:20,840
Father...Green, was it?
445
00:23:20,840 --> 00:23:22,480
Near enough.
446
00:23:22,480 --> 00:23:25,000
Wanted to have a word with you
about Mrs Chummy -
447
00:23:25,000 --> 00:23:27,000
as you'd known her longer
than anyone else.
448
00:23:27,000 --> 00:23:30,720
Oh, for more years than I care
to remember.
449
00:23:30,720 --> 00:23:33,000
I was in variety with her husband.
450
00:23:33,000 --> 00:23:36,000
When they opened the camp,
I was only too happy
451
00:23:36,000 --> 00:23:37,520
to come and help out.
Mm.
452
00:23:37,520 --> 00:23:41,640
Although, you didn't look too happy
at the knobbly knees competition.
453
00:23:41,640 --> 00:23:44,680
Yes, well, I was concerned about
some safety issues.
454
00:23:45,760 --> 00:23:48,360
Mrs Chummy asked to have a word
with you.
455
00:23:48,360 --> 00:23:50,760
Afterwards, you were very
distressed.
456
00:23:50,760 --> 00:23:53,160
You were late on stage
for the cabaret.
457
00:23:53,160 --> 00:23:55,640
Well, I was distressed.
458
00:23:55,640 --> 00:24:00,960
Sometimes, Mrs Chummy over-reacts
a little.
459
00:24:02,280 --> 00:24:04,520
And what do you think you
were doing?
460
00:24:04,520 --> 00:24:08,000
I was concerned the podium was too
close to the pool.
461
00:24:08,000 --> 00:24:09,240
I did not want an accident.
462
00:24:09,240 --> 00:24:12,640
Oh, there's an accident every time
you step on the stage.
463
00:24:12,640 --> 00:24:15,640
It's the biggest day of my life,
and you've spoiled it!
464
00:24:15,640 --> 00:24:18,720
No, that is most unfair.
465
00:24:18,720 --> 00:24:21,000
I've worked hard for you
all these years.
466
00:24:21,000 --> 00:24:23,240
And now you're a liability.
467
00:24:23,240 --> 00:24:25,000
When tonight's festivities are over,
468
00:24:25,000 --> 00:24:26,480
I want you out!
469
00:24:27,680 --> 00:24:29,520
Oh, how pretty! Look!
470
00:24:29,520 --> 00:24:30,960
Oh, what fun!
471
00:24:32,640 --> 00:24:34,080
Yes.
472
00:24:34,080 --> 00:24:36,560
That does sound like
an over-reaction.
473
00:24:36,560 --> 00:24:39,000
She was just a bit anxious
about this morning.
474
00:24:39,000 --> 00:24:41,320
She would have changed her mind
by this evening.
475
00:24:41,320 --> 00:24:43,640
Anxious about what in particular?
476
00:24:43,640 --> 00:24:45,760
Well, the pranks.
477
00:24:47,160 --> 00:24:48,640
The anniversary.
478
00:24:50,320 --> 00:24:51,880
Seeing old faces.
479
00:24:52,880 --> 00:24:54,480
And old memories.
480
00:24:55,600 --> 00:24:57,080
What sort of memories?
481
00:24:59,200 --> 00:25:01,720
Ah, the children! My audience!
482
00:25:01,720 --> 00:25:04,720
It's time for my 12 o'clock
performance!
483
00:25:04,720 --> 00:25:06,160
12 o'clock?
484
00:25:06,160 --> 00:25:07,520
It's 3:30!
485
00:25:08,520 --> 00:25:11,720
So, could he have killed her
in order to keep his job?
486
00:25:12,960 --> 00:25:14,520
Or to keep a secret.
487
00:25:17,560 --> 00:25:19,120
That's the way to do it!
488
00:25:19,120 --> 00:25:21,240
That's the way to do it!
489
00:25:21,240 --> 00:25:22,720
Oh-ho-ho-ho!
490
00:25:24,800 --> 00:25:27,000
Where are we going, Father?
491
00:25:27,000 --> 00:25:29,000
Dream Cottage.
492
00:25:29,000 --> 00:25:31,120
Mrs Chummy's house.
493
00:25:31,120 --> 00:25:33,560
The headquarters of the operation.
494
00:25:37,320 --> 00:25:39,720
You know, I've always wondered
how you gain access
495
00:25:39,720 --> 00:25:41,880
to so many crime scenes.
496
00:25:41,880 --> 00:25:43,200
Have you?
497
00:25:44,440 --> 00:25:47,240
Ah, well, perhaps you should
look away now.
498
00:25:57,840 --> 00:26:00,240
This is very nice.
499
00:26:00,240 --> 00:26:02,480
I'm clearly in the wrong job.
500
00:26:02,480 --> 00:26:05,960
So, what are you looking for,
Father?
501
00:26:05,960 --> 00:26:07,440
The story of Chummy's.
502
00:26:07,440 --> 00:26:09,080
RATTLING
503
00:26:10,560 --> 00:26:13,760
Or rather, the story that
Mrs Chummy...
504
00:26:15,320 --> 00:26:17,040
..doesn't want told.
505
00:26:25,880 --> 00:26:27,280
Photograph album.
506
00:26:28,920 --> 00:26:31,160
It's their honeymoon.
507
00:26:31,160 --> 00:26:32,760
In Nice.
508
00:26:32,760 --> 00:26:35,640
Strange thing to keep in
a locked drawer.
509
00:26:35,640 --> 00:26:36,840
Indeed.
510
00:26:40,000 --> 00:26:41,840
Employment records.
511
00:26:41,840 --> 00:26:43,840
Jock McCudgeon.
512
00:26:43,840 --> 00:26:45,200
20 years.
513
00:26:46,760 --> 00:26:48,160
No complaints.
514
00:26:49,560 --> 00:26:52,600
And yet, Mrs Chummy seemed very keen
to let him go.
515
00:26:54,360 --> 00:26:56,560
This is a letter from a
theatre manager,
516
00:26:56,560 --> 00:26:58,000
Mr Parnell,
517
00:26:58,000 --> 00:27:00,400
asking about the availability
of Griff Grimshaw
518
00:27:00,400 --> 00:27:02,800
to appear at the London Palladium.
519
00:27:02,800 --> 00:27:04,480
A very prestigious venue.
520
00:27:04,480 --> 00:27:08,160
And this is a follow-up letter,
written a few days later.
521
00:27:08,160 --> 00:27:10,240
"Dear Mrs Chummy,
522
00:27:10,240 --> 00:27:12,880
"thank you for warning me about
Mr Grimshaw.
523
00:27:12,880 --> 00:27:15,000
"No, we cannot afford to have
a drunken layabout
524
00:27:15,000 --> 00:27:16,520
"in our company.
525
00:27:16,520 --> 00:27:19,360
"I have cancelled his contract
forthwith."
526
00:27:19,360 --> 00:27:20,680
When was that dated?
527
00:27:22,520 --> 00:27:24,040
Just over two weeks ago.
528
00:27:26,080 --> 00:27:27,720
Mr Grimshaw?
529
00:27:27,720 --> 00:27:29,440
There's no sign of him, Father.
530
00:27:29,440 --> 00:27:31,480
Whoa!
531
00:27:31,480 --> 00:27:33,560
Hi-ho, Silver!
532
00:27:33,560 --> 00:27:35,360
Mr Grimshaw?
533
00:27:35,360 --> 00:27:36,640
May we have a word?
534
00:27:36,640 --> 00:27:37,880
Well, I'll do my best.
535
00:27:37,880 --> 00:27:39,640
But it's quite hard to control
this thing.
536
00:27:39,640 --> 00:27:41,680
I wanted to talk to you about
Mrs Chummy.
537
00:27:41,680 --> 00:27:43,560
Ah, yes.
538
00:27:43,560 --> 00:27:45,520
I can't believe she's dead.
539
00:27:45,520 --> 00:27:48,600
I never knew anyone so alive.
540
00:27:48,600 --> 00:27:49,880
Will you stop that?!
541
00:27:51,120 --> 00:27:53,440
You do know I could have you
arrested for common assault?
542
00:27:53,440 --> 00:27:54,800
Me or the ostrich?
543
00:27:54,800 --> 00:27:57,400
I gather she wasn't the most
encouraging of employers.
544
00:27:57,400 --> 00:27:58,680
Oh, no.
545
00:27:58,680 --> 00:28:01,640
She was always encouraging us
to try hard,
546
00:28:01,640 --> 00:28:03,040
do our best for the place.
547
00:28:03,040 --> 00:28:05,360
Mr Grimshaw, for entertainers
like you,
548
00:28:05,360 --> 00:28:08,880
Chummy is the first rung on
the ladder to success.
549
00:28:08,880 --> 00:28:12,040
Unless Mrs Chummy snatched
the ladder away.
550
00:28:12,040 --> 00:28:13,560
What are you talking about?
551
00:28:13,560 --> 00:28:16,000
A six-week show at the
London Palladium,
552
00:28:16,000 --> 00:28:19,080
which would have starred a comedian
called Griff Grimshaw.
553
00:28:19,080 --> 00:28:22,040
Only, Mrs Chummy said he wasn't
suitable.
554
00:28:22,040 --> 00:28:24,200
She did a bit more than that,
you know!
555
00:28:24,200 --> 00:28:25,600
She wrote to them.
556
00:28:25,600 --> 00:28:28,000
She told them what a useless
drunk I was.
557
00:28:28,000 --> 00:28:30,880
Well, not so useless that I couldn't
phone the secretary
558
00:28:30,880 --> 00:28:32,280
and find out what was going on!
559
00:28:32,280 --> 00:28:33,800
That must have made you very angry.
560
00:28:33,800 --> 00:28:36,840
Well, I didn't exactly jump
for joy.
561
00:28:36,840 --> 00:28:40,520
And how did your anger express
itself, Mr Grimshaw?
562
00:28:40,520 --> 00:28:43,880
I played one or two practical jokes.
563
00:28:43,880 --> 00:28:46,680
Nothing serious.
I swapped a few records around.
564
00:28:46,680 --> 00:28:49,000
Didn't you make a dummy with a knife
sticking into it?
565
00:28:49,000 --> 00:28:52,000
OK, well, I thought it seemed quite
amusing at the time,
566
00:28:52,000 --> 00:28:54,440
but I didn't, you know...
567
00:28:54,440 --> 00:28:56,840
So, who did?
Well, how should I know?
568
00:28:56,840 --> 00:28:58,920
She was always picking on people.
569
00:28:58,920 --> 00:29:02,000
Jock, and poor old Mavis.
570
00:29:02,000 --> 00:29:04,480
She took away her dream job.
571
00:29:04,480 --> 00:29:07,080
She told her, "You'll never be
an Orangecoat again."
572
00:29:07,080 --> 00:29:08,520
Again?
573
00:29:10,520 --> 00:29:12,440
Well, it was a long time ago.
574
00:29:14,280 --> 00:29:17,520
When Mr McCudgeon became confused,
575
00:29:17,520 --> 00:29:20,520
he still imagined you were
an Orangecoat.
576
00:29:20,520 --> 00:29:23,120
He was calling for you, wondering
why you weren't on duty.
577
00:29:24,680 --> 00:29:26,040
We were by the pool.
578
00:29:28,520 --> 00:29:31,000
And earlier, in the exhibition,
579
00:29:31,000 --> 00:29:34,120
I noticed that the pool had been
filled in for some years.
580
00:29:36,000 --> 00:29:37,280
Why?
581
00:29:39,680 --> 00:29:41,560
I try not to think about it.
582
00:29:44,320 --> 00:29:46,640
There was a little boy
583
00:29:46,640 --> 00:29:49,800
and he got separated from
his parents,
584
00:29:49,800 --> 00:29:51,360
and he went to the pool.
585
00:29:53,520 --> 00:29:55,680
It was being cleaned at the time,
but he...
586
00:29:56,760 --> 00:29:59,880
He couldn't read the sign saying
keep out.
587
00:29:59,880 --> 00:30:01,240
So he went in.
588
00:30:02,920 --> 00:30:04,240
And he couldn't swim.
589
00:30:06,000 --> 00:30:08,320
No-one saw him till it was too late.
590
00:30:11,800 --> 00:30:14,520
What was your role in all this,
Mavis?
591
00:30:14,520 --> 00:30:17,000
I was in charge of first aid.
592
00:30:17,000 --> 00:30:19,040
I knew how to give the kiss of life.
593
00:30:20,680 --> 00:30:21,960
Only, I'd...
594
00:30:23,000 --> 00:30:25,240
I'd just met a very nice man...
595
00:30:26,280 --> 00:30:28,360
..and he'd asked me back
to his chalet.
596
00:30:30,640 --> 00:30:32,200
I was only gone an hour.
597
00:30:33,640 --> 00:30:35,120
But I was too late.
598
00:30:59,000 --> 00:31:00,360
Was there a cover-up?
599
00:31:02,000 --> 00:31:04,320
They did everything to keep
the place open,
600
00:31:04,320 --> 00:31:05,880
keep it out of the papers.
601
00:31:05,880 --> 00:31:07,240
They?
602
00:31:07,240 --> 00:31:08,840
Mrs Chummy and Uncle Jock.
603
00:31:12,480 --> 00:31:14,000
Ah, hello!
Father Brown?
604
00:31:14,000 --> 00:31:16,840
You know we're having a
talent show later?
605
00:31:16,840 --> 00:31:20,000
Oh! Er, maybe you should rest
your vocal cords
606
00:31:20,000 --> 00:31:21,840
for Mass tomorrow, Father.
607
00:31:21,840 --> 00:31:23,200
Of course.
608
00:31:23,200 --> 00:31:25,360
I wonder where I might find
Mr McCudgeon?
609
00:31:25,360 --> 00:31:27,680
Oh, he's just getting changed.
610
00:31:27,680 --> 00:31:29,880
Er, can I leave Mr McCudgeon to you,
Father?
611
00:31:29,880 --> 00:31:31,840
I need to find the Inspector
and Mrs Goodfellow.
612
00:31:31,840 --> 00:31:34,000
We're watching the big
show together.
613
00:31:34,000 --> 00:31:36,000
I'll see you there.
614
00:31:36,000 --> 00:31:37,480
Mr McCudgeon?
615
00:31:40,800 --> 00:31:43,120
KNOCKING
616
00:31:40,800 --> 00:31:43,120
Hello!
617
00:31:44,720 --> 00:31:47,120
Mr McCudgeon?
618
00:31:47,120 --> 00:31:48,760
How do you do?
619
00:31:48,760 --> 00:31:51,440
Will you be disappearing?
620
00:31:51,440 --> 00:31:54,400
Oh, no, no, no.
This is a new trick.
621
00:31:54,400 --> 00:31:57,040
I shall be performing it tonight
with young Griff.
622
00:31:58,160 --> 00:32:00,000
The show about Chummy memories.
623
00:32:01,200 --> 00:32:02,880
Not all of them happy.
624
00:32:04,600 --> 00:32:06,720
The boy who drowned in
the swimming pool.
625
00:32:14,720 --> 00:32:16,040
Why do you bring that up?
626
00:32:20,520 --> 00:32:23,200
Because everything that has
happened today
627
00:32:23,200 --> 00:32:25,000
is connected to that tragedy.
628
00:32:27,000 --> 00:32:28,440
Do you remember his name?
629
00:32:31,360 --> 00:32:33,720
It was...Jimmy?
630
00:32:34,800 --> 00:32:36,320
Timmy?
631
00:32:38,640 --> 00:32:40,840
No, sorry, it's gone.
632
00:32:40,840 --> 00:32:46,480
But I remember his face and
the terrible feeling
633
00:32:46,480 --> 00:32:48,040
I could do nothing for him.
634
00:32:49,800 --> 00:32:51,600
Where were you when it happened?
635
00:32:52,840 --> 00:32:54,160
At the other end of the camp.
636
00:32:54,160 --> 00:32:57,760
I heard the screams, I came running,
and there was Mrs Chummy,
637
00:32:57,760 --> 00:33:02,360
screaming for Mavis instead of doing
something to help the child.
638
00:33:05,840 --> 00:33:07,400
Poor boy was floating.
639
00:33:10,200 --> 00:33:11,960
I pulled him from the water,
but...
640
00:33:14,720 --> 00:33:16,000
..it was too late.
641
00:33:18,440 --> 00:33:20,560
There must have been
a coroner's inquest?
642
00:33:23,160 --> 00:33:26,000
I told them Mavis had nothing
to do with it.
643
00:33:27,160 --> 00:33:29,760
She was detained looking after
another child.
644
00:33:31,200 --> 00:33:33,160
Then they asked me about
Mrs Chummy
645
00:33:33,160 --> 00:33:37,040
and why she hadn't dived in
and saved him.
646
00:33:40,840 --> 00:33:43,040
I presume you told them
she couldn't swim?
647
00:33:47,000 --> 00:33:48,480
How do you know?
648
00:33:48,480 --> 00:33:53,280
Photographs, secreted in
Mrs Chummy's house,
649
00:33:53,280 --> 00:33:55,440
of her honeymoon.
650
00:33:55,440 --> 00:33:57,280
Swimming in the sea at Nice.
651
00:33:58,960 --> 00:34:00,720
If they had become public,
652
00:34:00,720 --> 00:34:04,240
Mrs Chummy would have been charged
with negligence
653
00:34:04,240 --> 00:34:07,440
and you would have spent time
in prison for perjury.
654
00:34:10,000 --> 00:34:11,880
I'm not proud of what I did.
655
00:34:13,000 --> 00:34:16,440
I only did it to keep this
place going.
656
00:34:16,440 --> 00:34:17,680
Billy!
657
00:34:20,000 --> 00:34:21,480
That was his name.
658
00:34:23,000 --> 00:34:24,440
Billy Fairfield.
659
00:34:24,440 --> 00:34:26,720
KNOCKING
660
00:34:24,440 --> 00:34:26,720
Five-minute call!
661
00:34:28,160 --> 00:34:29,400
Thank you.
662
00:34:34,480 --> 00:34:36,080
The show must go on.
663
00:34:36,080 --> 00:34:39,840
APPLAUSE
664
00:34:39,840 --> 00:34:41,760
Hello, everybody.
665
00:34:41,760 --> 00:34:45,200
It's so sweet to see
so many old faces.
666
00:34:46,560 --> 00:34:49,000
But tonight's show is all about
the lady
667
00:34:49,000 --> 00:34:50,400
who made this place happen.
668
00:34:52,000 --> 00:34:55,680
Dear Mrs Chummy...
669
00:34:52,000 --> 00:34:55,680
APPLAUSE
670
00:34:55,680 --> 00:35:01,200
..who welcomed us all to her
Island of Dreams.
671
00:35:01,200 --> 00:35:03,360
PIANO MUSIC PLAYS
672
00:35:05,440 --> 00:35:09,800
# We're all chums at Chummy's
673
00:35:09,800 --> 00:35:14,200
# Loyal to the end
674
00:35:14,200 --> 00:35:17,560
# Come here as a stranger
675
00:35:17,560 --> 00:35:22,760
# And you'll go home as a friend
676
00:35:22,760 --> 00:35:26,920
# When you come to Chummy's
677
00:35:26,920 --> 00:35:31,000
# All your dreams come true
678
00:35:31,000 --> 00:35:35,560
# So come, come, come to Chummy's
679
00:35:35,560 --> 00:35:40,040
# We're waiting here for you. #
680
00:35:40,040 --> 00:35:42,920
APPLAUSE
681
00:35:47,000 --> 00:35:49,160
MUSIC PLAYS
682
00:35:52,760 --> 00:35:56,520
LAUGHTER
683
00:36:13,800 --> 00:36:16,240
APPLAUSE
684
00:36:23,000 --> 00:36:24,320
Of course!
685
00:36:26,000 --> 00:36:28,160
Will you excuse me?
686
00:36:28,160 --> 00:36:31,440
Excuse me. Sorry. Sorry.
687
00:36:31,440 --> 00:36:33,680
Sorry. Thank you.
688
00:36:33,680 --> 00:36:36,040
WHISTLING AND APPLAUSE
689
00:36:50,200 --> 00:36:52,080
KNOCKING
690
00:36:53,360 --> 00:36:56,000
Mr Beauchamp, may I have a word?
691
00:36:56,000 --> 00:36:57,360
Er, yeah.
692
00:37:01,440 --> 00:37:04,680
How did you make those
flowers appear?
693
00:37:04,680 --> 00:37:06,800
A magician never tells.
694
00:37:06,800 --> 00:37:09,000
No, of course.
695
00:37:09,000 --> 00:37:10,840
In the radio studio,
696
00:37:10,840 --> 00:37:13,200
after Mrs Chummy's death,
697
00:37:13,200 --> 00:37:16,080
someone made a tape disappear.
698
00:37:17,320 --> 00:37:19,640
And watching you tonight,
I think I know who.
699
00:37:25,280 --> 00:37:28,680
No.
Oh, Mrs Chummy. I...
700
00:37:28,680 --> 00:37:30,920
Just take some deep breaths.
You'll be all right.
701
00:37:30,920 --> 00:37:34,720
There must be a homicidal
maniac about!
702
00:37:34,720 --> 00:37:38,280
You used Mavis' consternation
as a distraction
703
00:37:38,280 --> 00:37:40,360
to take away a vital piece
of evidence.
704
00:37:40,360 --> 00:37:42,000
I don't know what you're
talking about.
705
00:37:42,000 --> 00:37:45,320
And all for a boy named
Billy Fairfield.
706
00:37:49,480 --> 00:37:51,040
I presume he was your brother?
707
00:37:52,920 --> 00:37:57,520
You see, if you translate Fairfield
into French,
708
00:37:57,520 --> 00:37:59,040
it becomes Beauchamp.
709
00:38:00,320 --> 00:38:02,000
And you must have needed
a new name
710
00:38:02,000 --> 00:38:03,440
to come and work here.
711
00:38:05,760 --> 00:38:07,600
Tell me, what's your real name?
712
00:38:07,600 --> 00:38:09,240
Andrew.
713
00:38:09,240 --> 00:38:10,720
Andrew Fairfield.
714
00:38:13,360 --> 00:38:15,200
Tell me about your brother, Andrew.
715
00:38:16,480 --> 00:38:19,000
Billy was kind.
716
00:38:19,000 --> 00:38:21,240
And he was funny.
717
00:38:21,240 --> 00:38:24,480
And people used to say
he was simple.
718
00:38:24,480 --> 00:38:27,880
Slow learning. But I loved him
more than anyone.
719
00:38:30,000 --> 00:38:33,240
We came here as a family,
and I'd never seen him so happy.
720
00:38:34,800 --> 00:38:36,840
But then he wandered off.
721
00:38:36,840 --> 00:38:38,240
And everyone said, "Don't worry,
722
00:38:38,240 --> 00:38:40,240
"this is the safest place
in the world."
723
00:38:41,760 --> 00:38:45,320
I cannot imagine the pain you
and your parents suffered.
724
00:38:46,880 --> 00:38:49,000
They never got over it.
725
00:38:49,000 --> 00:38:51,320
They died last year.
50 years old.
726
00:38:52,520 --> 00:38:54,040
They looked 100.
727
00:38:55,200 --> 00:38:57,640
So now it was up to you to find out
the truth.
728
00:38:57,640 --> 00:39:01,120
I came here to work. But I only
wanted one thing.
729
00:39:05,280 --> 00:39:07,360
I-I wanted to ask you something.
730
00:39:07,360 --> 00:39:08,760
Oh, yes?
731
00:39:08,760 --> 00:39:12,560
Is it true, er, a boy once drowned
in the swimming pool?
732
00:39:13,720 --> 00:39:18,280
Oh, dear. Who's been putting poison
in your delicate little ears?
733
00:39:18,280 --> 00:39:19,760
One of the visitors.
734
00:39:19,760 --> 00:39:22,840
Well, it was a long time ago.
735
00:39:22,840 --> 00:39:26,720
H-How could it happen with so many
people on duty?
736
00:39:26,720 --> 00:39:28,800
Well, Mavis should have been there,
737
00:39:28,800 --> 00:39:32,080
but she'd just met a carpet salesman
from Droitwich.
738
00:39:32,080 --> 00:39:34,040
And I'd had a long day.
739
00:39:35,080 --> 00:39:39,000
But the thing is, he was abnormal.
740
00:39:39,000 --> 00:39:40,720
Mentally defective.
741
00:39:40,720 --> 00:39:43,200
It was a blessing in disguise
for the poor family.
742
00:39:44,880 --> 00:39:47,120
I know she didn't kill him.
But she didn't care.
743
00:39:47,120 --> 00:39:48,400
And that's enough.
744
00:39:48,400 --> 00:39:51,000
So now you had two people to blame.
745
00:39:51,000 --> 00:39:53,240
Oh, cooey!
746
00:39:51,000 --> 00:39:53,240
SHE GIGGLES
747
00:39:57,440 --> 00:40:00,000
You took Mavis' apron
748
00:40:00,000 --> 00:40:02,440
and went to the radio studio
and prepared to kill
749
00:40:02,440 --> 00:40:05,440
two birds with one stone.
750
00:40:02,440 --> 00:40:05,440
SHE CHOKES
751
00:40:13,280 --> 00:40:15,520
And now you want me to tell
the police?
752
00:40:15,520 --> 00:40:18,000
To save Mavis' life?
753
00:40:18,000 --> 00:40:20,120
I want you to save your own soul.
754
00:40:22,160 --> 00:40:23,760
You love your brother,
755
00:40:23,760 --> 00:40:26,000
and if you want to be with him
in heaven...
756
00:40:27,280 --> 00:40:28,920
..you need to do the right thing.
757
00:40:30,560 --> 00:40:33,320
You need to give up all thoughts
of revenge.
758
00:40:33,320 --> 00:40:35,520
No.
759
00:40:35,520 --> 00:40:37,320
I made Billy a promise -
760
00:40:37,320 --> 00:40:41,400
to punish anyone who failed him or
who lied about what happened.
761
00:40:41,400 --> 00:40:42,960
Right, then!
762
00:40:42,960 --> 00:40:47,400
Now we place Uncle Jock into the
cabinet of death!
763
00:40:47,400 --> 00:40:49,000
Are you all right in there,
Uncle Jock?
764
00:40:49,000 --> 00:40:50,600
I think so!
765
00:40:50,600 --> 00:40:53,120
Get on with it?
It's a very tight squeeze.
766
00:40:58,280 --> 00:40:59,600
Stop!
767
00:41:01,640 --> 00:41:03,440
I think you should put down
that sword.
768
00:41:03,440 --> 00:41:06,320
HE WHISPERS: It's OK, Father.
This thing's retractable.
769
00:41:06,320 --> 00:41:08,840
Right, then. Here it goes.
770
00:41:08,840 --> 00:41:10,920
Straight through the heart.
771
00:41:13,600 --> 00:41:15,640
THEY GASP
772
00:41:18,280 --> 00:41:20,000
Are you all right?
I'm fine.
773
00:41:20,000 --> 00:41:21,560
It's not the first time
I've died on stage.
774
00:41:21,560 --> 00:41:23,240
Help! Get me out of here!
775
00:41:23,240 --> 00:41:25,800
Can anyone tell me what's going on?
776
00:41:26,760 --> 00:41:28,320
This young man can.
777
00:41:28,320 --> 00:41:31,040
And I would ask you to listen
to him without prejudice.
778
00:41:32,200 --> 00:41:35,000
BELLS CHIME
779
00:41:37,200 --> 00:41:38,520
Well, well.
780
00:41:38,520 --> 00:41:41,520
The garden's looking rather
splendid, Father.
781
00:41:41,520 --> 00:41:45,000
Well, I think on balance there's
more alive than dead.
782
00:41:45,000 --> 00:41:47,720
But I'll be glad when
Mrs McCarthy returns.
783
00:41:47,720 --> 00:41:49,160
Ah, look who it is!
784
00:41:49,160 --> 00:41:51,040
Sergeant. Father Brown.
785
00:41:51,040 --> 00:41:53,680
Mavis Jug. How nice to see you.
786
00:41:53,680 --> 00:41:55,800
Oh, it's nice just to be out
in the daylight.
787
00:41:55,800 --> 00:41:57,960
I thought I was going to be stuck
in that cell forever.
788
00:41:57,960 --> 00:42:00,000
And yet, here you are.
789
00:42:00,000 --> 00:42:02,240
And I notice...
790
00:42:02,240 --> 00:42:03,720
I know!
791
00:42:03,720 --> 00:42:05,440
It's like a dream come true.
792
00:42:05,440 --> 00:42:06,680
Congratulations.
793
00:42:06,680 --> 00:42:07,920
Hey, how did you manage it?
794
00:42:07,920 --> 00:42:10,040
Well, you know Mrs Chummy didn't
have any children?
795
00:42:10,040 --> 00:42:13,800
It turns out she's left the holiday
camp to her entire staff.
796
00:42:13,800 --> 00:42:17,400
So Griff is going to take over
as head entertainer.
797
00:42:17,400 --> 00:42:21,000
And, oh, Jock is going to carry on
living with us.
798
00:42:21,000 --> 00:42:23,000
But I don't think he's up
to performing any more.
799
00:42:23,000 --> 00:42:25,000
But we'll look after him.
800
00:42:25,000 --> 00:42:26,280
That's very kind.
801
00:42:27,280 --> 00:42:29,480
And I wish you all the best in your
endeavours.
802
00:42:29,480 --> 00:42:30,760
Thank you.
803
00:42:30,760 --> 00:42:33,000
Oh! And we've got a talent show
next week,
804
00:42:33,000 --> 00:42:35,560
so if either of you want to
give us a turn.
805
00:42:37,800 --> 00:42:40,520
Well, I do know one or two
musical songs.
806
00:42:40,520 --> 00:42:41,840
Well, go on, then.
807
00:42:46,400 --> 00:42:51,720
# List to me, while I tell you, of
the Spaniard that blighted my life
808
00:42:51,720 --> 00:42:53,160
# Fa-la-la
809
00:42:53,160 --> 00:42:59,400
# List to me, while I tell you, of
the man who stole my future wife
810
00:42:59,400 --> 00:43:02,600
# 'Twas at the bullfight that
we met him
811
00:43:02,600 --> 00:43:05,880
# We were watching his
daring display
812
00:43:05,880 --> 00:43:09,640
# While I just nipped outside
for some nuts and a programme
813
00:43:09,640 --> 00:43:12,520
# The dirty dog stole her away
814
00:43:12,520 --> 00:43:14,000
# He will die
815
00:43:14,000 --> 00:43:15,640
# He will die
816
00:43:15,640 --> 00:43:19,120
# He will die-diddly-die-die-die
817
00:43:19,120 --> 00:43:20,440
# He shall die
818
00:43:20,440 --> 00:43:23,360
# He shall die
819
00:43:23,360 --> 00:43:26,680
# I'll raise a bunion on
his Spanish onion
820
00:43:26,680 --> 00:43:29,800
# When I catch him
bending tonight! #
821
00:43:29,800 --> 00:43:32,120
APPLAUSE
83293
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