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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:17,122 --> 00:00:18,890 Good morning, Southern California. 2 00:00:18,957 --> 00:00:20,292 It's 8:00, and it's going to be 3 00:00:20,358 --> 00:00:22,026 another beautiful day in Palm Springs. 4 00:00:22,092 --> 00:00:23,961 It's your girl Frankie J, 5 00:00:24,028 --> 00:00:26,631 and thank you for listening to your favorite radio station. 6 00:00:32,369 --> 00:00:33,737 Look at you. 7 00:00:33,803 --> 00:00:35,971 Such a dirty girl. 8 00:00:36,071 --> 00:00:40,410 A good shower before a wild ride is all you need. 9 00:00:43,912 --> 00:00:45,813 You make heads turn. 10 00:00:45,913 --> 00:00:49,718 I like that. 11 00:01:06,633 --> 00:01:07,965 - Hi, Victor! - Hi! 12 00:01:20,611 --> 00:01:22,946 In local news, Major Victor Martin 13 00:01:23,013 --> 00:01:26,483 won the Sweet Ride Antique Roadster division. 14 00:01:26,516 --> 00:01:27,850 Way to go, Major. 15 00:01:27,917 --> 00:01:29,319 Your local news is brought to you 16 00:01:29,353 --> 00:01:31,288 by your friends at the Cuckoo Café. 17 00:01:31,355 --> 00:01:33,188 Stop by and check out their famous strudel 18 00:01:33,289 --> 00:01:34,956 and art gallery. 19 00:01:48,435 --> 00:01:50,203 Hey, Victor! 20 00:01:50,270 --> 00:01:54,207 Sal, what are you doing with all those old people? 21 00:01:55,709 --> 00:01:59,278 We learned how to do papier-mâché. 22 00:02:12,823 --> 00:02:14,692 It's good for you. 23 00:02:14,725 --> 00:02:16,560 It stretches the hips, everything. 24 00:02:16,627 --> 00:02:18,228 Let's go. 25 00:02:26,034 --> 00:02:28,236 Aye, aye, aye, aye. 26 00:02:28,303 --> 00:02:30,138 Nice car. 27 00:02:30,204 --> 00:02:32,408 Nice Chihuahua. 28 00:02:45,318 --> 00:02:47,421 What? Why don't you sell it? 29 00:02:47,487 --> 00:02:50,022 I can't hear you! Turn that thing down! 30 00:02:50,089 --> 00:02:52,558 You're too old for that car, gringo. 31 00:02:52,591 --> 00:02:53,859 Why don't you sell it to me? 32 00:02:53,925 --> 00:02:55,728 How about never? 33 00:02:55,761 --> 00:02:57,263 Man, a man your age 34 00:02:57,363 --> 00:02:59,265 should be zipping around on one of them scooter things. 35 00:02:59,365 --> 00:03:02,232 - Do you know that guy? - No. 36 00:03:02,267 --> 00:03:05,370 What do they call a cholo who drives an Impala? 37 00:03:05,437 --> 00:03:06,871 Small theft auto. 38 00:03:16,279 --> 00:03:17,447 Yeah? 39 00:03:17,513 --> 00:03:19,582 What was it like growing up riding dinosaurs? 40 00:03:19,615 --> 00:03:21,116 Good one. 41 00:03:21,216 --> 00:03:23,084 Yo, why do you still drive that thing anyway? 42 00:03:23,118 --> 00:03:25,119 You can't even get it up anymore. 43 00:03:25,186 --> 00:03:29,257 Listen to that big, bad hombre. 44 00:03:30,191 --> 00:03:31,760 You want to see me get it up? 45 00:03:31,792 --> 00:03:34,295 Sure. If you got what it takes. 46 00:03:35,396 --> 00:03:36,963 All right, let's do this. 47 00:03:49,475 --> 00:03:50,943 Yeah! 48 00:04:13,228 --> 00:04:15,731 Oh, boy. 49 00:04:18,099 --> 00:04:20,167 Victor, Victor, Victor. 50 00:04:20,234 --> 00:04:21,603 I guess it's true what they say: 51 00:04:21,669 --> 00:04:23,237 you can't teach an old dog new tricks. 52 00:04:23,304 --> 00:04:24,906 That son of a bitch set me up. 53 00:04:24,973 --> 00:04:26,941 All right, I want you to look me in the eyes 54 00:04:27,007 --> 00:04:28,275 when I tell you this. 55 00:04:28,342 --> 00:04:29,643 I'm looking. You got great eyes. 56 00:04:29,676 --> 00:04:31,411 Doesn't she got beautiful eyes? 57 00:04:31,478 --> 00:04:33,413 - Yeah, you got beautiful eyes. - Guys, I'm serious. 58 00:04:33,480 --> 00:04:35,282 I know you like your ride, but it's got to stop. 59 00:04:35,349 --> 00:04:37,015 This new DA means business. 60 00:04:37,082 --> 00:04:38,618 She's cracking down big time on you seniors. 61 00:04:38,684 --> 00:04:40,085 She's cracking down. 62 00:04:40,151 --> 00:04:42,989 Fail to use your turn signal, you get a ticket. 63 00:04:43,021 --> 00:04:44,756 Driving too slow, ticket. You know how it is. 64 00:04:44,823 --> 00:04:46,056 Pick your friends, pick your nose, 65 00:04:46,123 --> 00:04:47,492 Can't pick your friend's nose. 66 00:04:48,460 --> 00:04:50,027 - What? - Promise me, Victor, 67 00:04:50,127 --> 00:04:52,161 no more shenanigans. 68 00:04:52,195 --> 00:04:53,864 No more shenanigans, I get to pick your nose. 69 00:04:53,964 --> 00:04:55,666 - Yeah, yeah. - Victor... 70 00:04:55,699 --> 00:04:57,535 Thanks for the heads-up, Nancy. 71 00:05:02,272 --> 00:05:05,140 Like two hard-boiled eggs doing the salsa, mm. 72 00:05:09,378 --> 00:05:11,212 Hello, Billy. 73 00:05:11,280 --> 00:05:13,047 - Sonia, honey... - Hm? 74 00:05:13,114 --> 00:05:15,317 ...can I get another slice of that strudel, please? 75 00:05:15,384 --> 00:05:16,817 Are you sure? 76 00:05:16,884 --> 00:05:18,553 Oh, I can't get enough. 77 00:05:18,619 --> 00:05:20,288 Let me see if Caroline is still baking. 78 00:05:20,354 --> 00:05:22,055 - Thank you. - Mm-hm. 79 00:05:24,491 --> 00:05:25,825 Billy wants more. 80 00:05:25,892 --> 00:05:27,994 Ooh, sorry. 81 00:05:49,078 --> 00:05:51,481 Oh, it's gorgeous. 82 00:05:51,548 --> 00:05:52,983 Thanks somewhat. 83 00:05:53,850 --> 00:05:55,184 It's for the auction. 84 00:05:55,252 --> 00:05:58,688 Oh, I don't know how to thank you. 85 00:05:58,754 --> 00:06:00,188 Mwah. 86 00:06:04,759 --> 00:06:06,428 Big day, Victor. 87 00:06:06,528 --> 00:06:09,931 Today you made it on the cover of Sweet Ride. 88 00:06:09,998 --> 00:06:12,333 You never done that before, have you? 89 00:06:12,399 --> 00:06:14,935 - No, it's the first time, man. - Yeah. 90 00:06:15,035 --> 00:06:17,404 I mean, I'm so excited. 91 00:06:37,588 --> 00:06:39,090 I like to make the guys jealous. 92 00:06:39,122 --> 00:06:40,458 - Yeah? - Yeah. 93 00:06:40,524 --> 00:06:42,125 You'll have a great time. 94 00:06:42,192 --> 00:06:43,960 - I'll try to come. - Really? All right. 95 00:06:44,060 --> 00:06:46,262 Look. Now, right in there. 96 00:06:46,296 --> 00:06:48,098 Oh, that's a good one. 97 00:06:48,130 --> 00:06:50,233 Oh! I think I'm getting aroused. 98 00:06:50,300 --> 00:06:52,301 Good, she's a beautiful girl. 99 00:06:52,401 --> 00:06:53,902 I'm talking about the car. 100 00:06:55,371 --> 00:06:56,972 When's this going to hit the stands? 101 00:06:57,039 --> 00:06:58,707 In August. 102 00:06:58,774 --> 00:07:00,173 August. 103 00:07:00,274 --> 00:07:01,743 That's around the corner. 104 00:07:01,809 --> 00:07:04,579 Holy shit. 105 00:07:04,646 --> 00:07:06,481 What is that? 106 00:07:06,581 --> 00:07:08,715 Oh, that's Ted Garvin. 107 00:07:10,651 --> 00:07:13,487 There's no way that that's Ted Garvin. 108 00:07:14,655 --> 00:07:17,890 That's because the last time you saw him, 109 00:07:17,957 --> 00:07:20,893 he was cruising around in his Caddy, 110 00:07:20,960 --> 00:07:22,495 puffing a Cuban. 111 00:07:22,561 --> 00:07:26,297 The picture of a happily retired man. 112 00:07:27,465 --> 00:07:28,833 Jesus. 113 00:07:28,933 --> 00:07:30,068 What happened? 114 00:07:30,135 --> 00:07:32,069 Story I heard, 115 00:07:32,136 --> 00:07:34,738 he hit a kid on a bike. 116 00:07:34,805 --> 00:07:36,674 Months, maybe two months ago. 117 00:07:36,740 --> 00:07:41,144 Barely grazed him, but the parents sued, 118 00:07:41,176 --> 00:07:44,179 and he wound up losing his license, his car, 119 00:07:44,247 --> 00:07:46,181 and most of his hair. 120 00:07:47,417 --> 00:07:49,451 They took away his Caddy? 121 00:07:49,518 --> 00:07:51,185 Oh, Jesus. 122 00:07:57,992 --> 00:08:00,528 Look who's here. Hey, honey! 123 00:08:07,867 --> 00:08:09,469 - Hey, baby! - Hi. 124 00:08:09,536 --> 00:08:11,603 Oh, I'm so glad you made it! 125 00:08:11,670 --> 00:08:14,006 Oh! Great! 126 00:08:14,039 --> 00:08:16,008 - Yeah. - Danny, Mike. 127 00:08:16,041 --> 00:08:17,710 - Sal. Guys. - Hey. 128 00:08:19,044 --> 00:08:21,179 Yeah, she's the model, man. 129 00:08:21,211 --> 00:08:22,880 The model. 130 00:08:26,718 --> 00:08:27,984 Ladies and gentlemen, 131 00:08:28,051 --> 00:08:30,187 welcome to Captain Hook's piano bar. 132 00:08:30,220 --> 00:08:32,055 Put your hands together and help me welcome up 133 00:08:32,122 --> 00:08:33,490 our unofficial host. 134 00:08:33,557 --> 00:08:36,058 He's calling me up. I got to go. 135 00:08:36,125 --> 00:08:37,893 - Okay. - Do us proud, Vic. 136 00:08:37,993 --> 00:08:39,161 Do us proud. 137 00:08:39,228 --> 00:08:41,063 Major Victor Martin! 138 00:08:43,732 --> 00:08:46,167 Hey! Hey! 139 00:08:46,234 --> 00:08:49,170 Thank you so much. Thank you. 140 00:08:49,237 --> 00:08:51,139 Yeah, this is our bar. We love it here. 141 00:08:51,206 --> 00:08:55,210 We welcome you to Captain Hook's bar, 142 00:08:55,242 --> 00:08:58,213 because once you come in, you're hooked. 143 00:08:58,245 --> 00:09:00,346 And we reel you back in! 144 00:09:00,413 --> 00:09:03,182 Oh, yeah. 145 00:09:06,018 --> 00:09:07,753 - You miss me? - Oh, so much. 146 00:09:10,655 --> 00:09:12,924 I can't believe you got her number. 147 00:09:13,024 --> 00:09:15,228 I think she has the hots for me. 148 00:09:15,260 --> 00:09:17,928 Well, maybe. 149 00:09:18,028 --> 00:09:19,396 Danny and Mike, 150 00:09:19,430 --> 00:09:21,031 they almost had a heart attack. 151 00:09:26,035 --> 00:09:27,737 Hey! 152 00:09:27,771 --> 00:09:30,273 Ha, ha, ha. 153 00:09:30,340 --> 00:09:32,608 - Look who it is. - Hey, sorry, old man. I couldn't resist. 154 00:09:32,674 --> 00:09:35,544 Cop was just waiting there with a big old butterfly net. 155 00:09:35,611 --> 00:09:39,114 I'm glad somebody got a laugh out of it. 156 00:09:39,181 --> 00:09:40,581 You want to do it for real this time? 157 00:09:40,615 --> 00:09:43,017 - Get out of here, old man. - Come on. 158 00:09:43,084 --> 00:09:44,619 Hey, you in, dipshit? 159 00:09:45,787 --> 00:09:46,954 Dipshit? 160 00:10:08,973 --> 00:10:10,375 Yeah! 161 00:10:27,224 --> 00:10:28,757 Yeah! 162 00:10:28,824 --> 00:10:30,226 Whoa! 163 00:10:34,963 --> 00:10:36,497 - Oh! - Oh! 164 00:10:41,001 --> 00:10:42,770 Morons. 165 00:10:42,837 --> 00:10:45,104 I don't know what happened. 166 00:10:46,606 --> 00:10:48,508 Oh! Oh! 167 00:10:50,443 --> 00:10:52,644 Are you okay? 168 00:10:52,678 --> 00:10:55,514 I'm too old for this shit! 169 00:10:57,516 --> 00:10:59,650 Mr. Martin, I'm going to ask you one more time. 170 00:10:59,684 --> 00:11:02,119 Are you waiving your right to an attorney? 171 00:11:02,186 --> 00:11:04,355 Absolutely, Your Honor. 172 00:11:04,422 --> 00:11:05,790 This is an open-and-shut case. 173 00:11:05,857 --> 00:11:07,924 I'm a pilot. I know how to drive a car. 174 00:11:07,991 --> 00:11:10,261 Very well. Proceed. 175 00:11:11,962 --> 00:11:14,831 The defense calls, um... 176 00:11:14,865 --> 00:11:16,365 its first witness... 177 00:11:16,465 --> 00:11:19,535 Mr. Salvatore Giuseppe Spinelli. 178 00:11:19,602 --> 00:11:22,305 Mr. Spinelli, would you please come forward? 179 00:11:23,938 --> 00:11:25,373 Your hat, sir. 180 00:11:25,440 --> 00:11:27,041 - Remove your hat, please. - Oh. 181 00:11:27,108 --> 00:11:28,676 Place your right hand on the Bible. 182 00:11:28,710 --> 00:11:31,045 Do you solemnly swear the testimony you are about to give 183 00:11:31,145 --> 00:11:32,446 will be the truth, the whole truth, 184 00:11:32,512 --> 00:11:34,349 and nothing but the truth, so help you God? 185 00:11:34,381 --> 00:11:35,816 - I do. - Be seated. 186 00:11:38,652 --> 00:11:40,052 Good afternoon, Mr. Spinelli. 187 00:11:40,152 --> 00:11:42,889 Good afternoon, Mr. Martin. 188 00:11:42,955 --> 00:11:47,726 Mr. Spinelli, would you please inform the court 189 00:11:47,826 --> 00:11:50,528 how long you've known the defendant? 190 00:11:50,562 --> 00:11:54,499 Well, we met at Carleton High. 191 00:11:54,566 --> 00:11:57,735 Freshman-year phys ed. 192 00:11:59,237 --> 00:12:02,506 In square dancing class. 193 00:12:02,573 --> 00:12:05,242 There weren't enough girls, 194 00:12:05,342 --> 00:12:08,845 so the teacher paired us up. 195 00:12:08,912 --> 00:12:11,314 And knowing the defendant as... 196 00:12:13,349 --> 00:12:15,751 Knowing the defendant as well as you do... 197 00:12:17,019 --> 00:12:18,720 how would you describe his character? 198 00:12:18,754 --> 00:12:21,390 What-What-What kind of man is he? 199 00:12:21,422 --> 00:12:24,659 The bravest man I know. 200 00:12:26,060 --> 00:12:28,028 Fought in Nam. 201 00:12:28,094 --> 00:12:30,830 Tested jets for NASA. 202 00:12:30,897 --> 00:12:33,700 A true American hero. 203 00:12:33,767 --> 00:12:37,937 And the best damn friend I could ever have hoped for, 204 00:12:38,003 --> 00:12:39,438 I'll tell you that. 205 00:12:40,572 --> 00:12:42,441 Thank you, Sal. 206 00:12:44,609 --> 00:12:46,577 How many times would you say you've driven 207 00:12:46,611 --> 00:12:48,213 with the defendant? 208 00:12:48,280 --> 00:12:51,349 Too many to count! 209 00:12:51,416 --> 00:12:54,952 Way up in the thousands, at least. 210 00:12:55,018 --> 00:12:56,853 Would you describe him as reckless? 211 00:12:56,920 --> 00:12:58,121 No. 212 00:12:58,222 --> 00:13:00,122 Confident, maybe. 213 00:13:00,190 --> 00:13:02,959 But never reckless. 214 00:13:07,996 --> 00:13:10,565 This community is attracting a younger crowd. 215 00:13:10,632 --> 00:13:13,068 And it is our priority... 216 00:13:13,134 --> 00:13:14,769 indeed our economic necessity... 217 00:13:14,803 --> 00:13:15,970 to welcome them. 218 00:13:17,305 --> 00:13:19,307 Drivers like Mr. Martin 219 00:13:19,407 --> 00:13:22,109 are ticking time bombs on wheels. 220 00:13:22,142 --> 00:13:24,911 And I, for one, don't want to wait around 221 00:13:24,978 --> 00:13:29,249 for these bombs to go off and kill innocent people. 222 00:13:29,316 --> 00:13:32,951 So I'm here today to plead 223 00:13:32,985 --> 00:13:34,953 that the court do whenever it can 224 00:13:34,987 --> 00:13:36,621 to defuse these bombs 225 00:13:36,655 --> 00:13:40,591 for the public's safety, as well as that of the driver. 226 00:13:42,126 --> 00:13:45,830 After careful review of the evidence and testimony, 227 00:13:45,930 --> 00:13:49,666 I am compelled to rule in favor of the state. 228 00:13:49,766 --> 00:13:52,602 Mr. Martin, under California Vehicle Code 229 00:13:52,669 --> 00:13:57,506 at sections 13100-13376, 230 00:13:57,606 --> 00:14:01,510 I am hereby revoking your driver's license 231 00:14:01,577 --> 00:14:03,678 and ordering that your car be impounded 232 00:14:03,778 --> 00:14:06,415 until you can clearly prove to this court 233 00:14:06,482 --> 00:14:11,151 that you're fit to drive and able to obey our traffic laws. 234 00:14:11,185 --> 00:14:12,686 You will have an opportunity 235 00:14:12,753 --> 00:14:15,423 to retest in the next 30 days. 236 00:14:18,825 --> 00:14:21,093 Where do you think they're taking her? 237 00:14:22,429 --> 00:14:24,096 The impound out on Bancroft. 238 00:14:24,163 --> 00:14:27,366 Looks more like a junkyard if you ask me. 239 00:14:27,466 --> 00:14:29,667 Oh, that's a shame. 240 00:14:29,701 --> 00:14:32,704 Name's Kendall. Rock Kendall. 241 00:14:32,771 --> 00:14:36,040 I specialize in helping guys like you get their car back. 242 00:14:36,140 --> 00:14:37,375 Here. 243 00:14:37,442 --> 00:14:38,876 Call me. 244 00:14:40,445 --> 00:14:42,447 Come on, Timmy. 245 00:14:42,514 --> 00:14:44,047 What the...? 246 00:14:48,051 --> 00:14:49,652 Why'd you do that? 247 00:14:49,719 --> 00:14:53,055 Cheap suit. White sneakers. 248 00:14:53,121 --> 00:14:54,623 Who dress like that? 249 00:14:54,689 --> 00:14:56,225 I wouldn't trust him as far as I could spit. 250 00:14:56,292 --> 00:14:59,894 No, no, no, I'm going to take the test next week 251 00:14:59,960 --> 00:15:02,063 and pass it with flying colors. 252 00:15:06,667 --> 00:15:07,834 Should we grab it? 253 00:15:07,901 --> 00:15:09,669 You're kidding me, right? 254 00:15:10,804 --> 00:15:11,871 No. 255 00:15:11,905 --> 00:15:13,573 Victor Martin does not take the bus. 256 00:15:13,673 --> 00:15:16,041 Not now, not ever. 257 00:15:16,075 --> 00:15:20,813 Losers take the bus. Losers and old people. 258 00:15:38,728 --> 00:15:40,096 Okay, right here. 259 00:15:41,398 --> 00:15:43,366 Thirty-two, plus tip. 260 00:15:43,433 --> 00:15:46,436 Plus tip? 261 00:15:51,106 --> 00:15:52,774 Ah. 262 00:16:01,282 --> 00:16:02,450 Whoa, what a day. 263 00:16:02,517 --> 00:16:04,251 Mm, tell me about it. 264 00:16:04,284 --> 00:16:06,119 You work too hard. 265 00:16:06,220 --> 00:16:09,289 No, really, I think I need to hire an extra person. 266 00:16:09,356 --> 00:16:10,591 Here. 267 00:16:10,623 --> 00:16:11,857 - That's for... - No. 268 00:16:11,923 --> 00:16:13,392 No, no, no, no. I insist. 269 00:16:13,459 --> 00:16:15,127 I insist. Take it, take it. 270 00:16:15,194 --> 00:16:16,562 It's yours. 271 00:16:16,628 --> 00:16:18,564 - Thank you. - You're welcome. 272 00:16:19,630 --> 00:16:21,199 Don't you dare. 273 00:16:22,800 --> 00:16:25,237 Aw, you're too sweet. 274 00:16:26,770 --> 00:16:28,138 We're heading back. 275 00:16:28,205 --> 00:16:30,807 Oh, well, I'm staying. 276 00:16:30,907 --> 00:16:32,742 I'll catch a cab back. 277 00:16:32,809 --> 00:16:35,245 Don't stay out too late. You got your big test tomorrow. 278 00:16:35,311 --> 00:16:39,948 Oh, come on, I... I can drive around those cones in my sleep. 279 00:16:39,982 --> 00:16:42,252 - Good night, miss. - Good night. 280 00:16:42,318 --> 00:16:43,918 Yeah. 281 00:16:47,489 --> 00:16:48,624 - What? - Take this. 282 00:16:48,656 --> 00:16:50,292 No, I don't... I... 283 00:16:50,325 --> 00:16:52,759 Take it. Take it. 284 00:16:52,826 --> 00:16:54,495 I totally, totally... 285 00:16:54,562 --> 00:16:55,662 Wow. 286 00:16:57,998 --> 00:17:00,634 - If you don't mind me asking... - I don't mind. 287 00:17:02,169 --> 00:17:05,838 What's a man like you still doing chasing younger women? 288 00:17:08,139 --> 00:17:09,941 You mean a man my age? 289 00:17:11,410 --> 00:17:12,844 Yes. 290 00:17:14,078 --> 00:17:18,483 Because they're so beautiful. 291 00:17:21,018 --> 00:17:22,453 Fair enough. 292 00:17:22,520 --> 00:17:25,855 Hey, I hope I don't come off like a chauvinist pig. 293 00:17:27,658 --> 00:17:30,527 Pigs are very smart. 294 00:17:34,197 --> 00:17:36,932 Do you want to come to a pool party with me? 295 00:17:41,536 --> 00:17:43,305 This is amazing. 296 00:17:50,177 --> 00:17:51,945 Hey, come on. 297 00:17:52,011 --> 00:17:55,615 Victor! Victor, come on! 298 00:18:04,556 --> 00:18:05,723 - Wanna get some? - Yeah. 299 00:18:05,823 --> 00:18:07,559 - Yeah? - What are you doing? 300 00:18:08,893 --> 00:18:10,994 - Oh, my... No. - It'll be fun. Come on. 301 00:18:11,061 --> 00:18:12,663 I'm not going to take off my pants. 302 00:18:12,729 --> 00:18:14,532 - Whoo! - Hey! 303 00:18:18,202 --> 00:18:20,135 Whoo! Come on in! 304 00:18:24,006 --> 00:18:25,575 Whoo! 305 00:18:36,417 --> 00:18:37,751 Whoa. 306 00:18:38,752 --> 00:18:41,088 Car handles like a goddamn tank. 307 00:18:41,121 --> 00:18:43,257 Well, you drive it like a tank. 308 00:18:45,659 --> 00:18:47,227 Ah! 309 00:18:49,596 --> 00:18:51,163 Think I killed them? 310 00:18:52,732 --> 00:18:54,233 Not sure about the kid. 311 00:18:54,267 --> 00:18:55,501 But the mother? 312 00:18:55,568 --> 00:18:57,035 Definitely. 313 00:19:05,377 --> 00:19:06,745 Sorry. 314 00:19:12,048 --> 00:19:15,418 God, the sun's in my eyes. I can hardly see. 315 00:19:15,451 --> 00:19:16,852 Just pull over. 316 00:19:19,622 --> 00:19:21,291 Carlos Diaz? 317 00:19:22,458 --> 00:19:24,693 Congratulations, Mr. Diaz, 318 00:19:24,760 --> 00:19:27,061 the only one who had a perfect score today. 319 00:19:27,128 --> 00:19:30,632 Take this to Window 12 and schedule your driving test. 320 00:19:34,635 --> 00:19:36,470 Mr. Martin? 321 00:19:36,537 --> 00:19:38,937 Victor Martin? 322 00:19:38,971 --> 00:19:40,440 Huh? 323 00:19:40,473 --> 00:19:41,641 Mr. Martin? 324 00:19:41,708 --> 00:19:43,410 Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. 325 00:20:00,558 --> 00:20:02,160 Hey there, Mr. Martin. 326 00:20:04,428 --> 00:20:05,662 What's up, dude? 327 00:20:05,762 --> 00:20:07,331 Where's the car? 328 00:20:15,471 --> 00:20:17,139 Open the door! 329 00:20:17,173 --> 00:20:19,341 Open the... Oh, shit. 330 00:21:13,988 --> 00:21:16,391 Sir? Are you okay? 331 00:21:21,496 --> 00:21:23,397 Just getting a beer. 332 00:21:29,870 --> 00:21:31,570 Hey, isn't that my...? 333 00:21:31,670 --> 00:21:33,506 What? What the...? 334 00:21:34,840 --> 00:21:37,041 What the hell? 335 00:21:41,880 --> 00:21:44,081 Hey, wait. Hey! Hey! 336 00:21:46,817 --> 00:21:48,385 - Oh! - Oh! 337 00:21:48,419 --> 00:21:50,220 - Oh, I'm so sorry. - Are you all right? 338 00:21:50,254 --> 00:21:52,256 It feels like I'm riding a bucking bronco here. 339 00:21:52,356 --> 00:21:53,690 Yes. Oh, God. 340 00:21:53,757 --> 00:21:55,691 - So sorry. - No, it's all right. 341 00:21:55,758 --> 00:21:57,493 Oh, your bag tore. 342 00:21:57,560 --> 00:22:01,731 Oh, dearie. You know what? I have... I have an extra bag. 343 00:22:01,764 --> 00:22:03,097 Put them in here. 344 00:22:03,165 --> 00:22:05,333 - I'm so sorry. - It's okay. 345 00:22:10,172 --> 00:22:14,909 "Potassium sorbate, azo-carbonate..." 346 00:22:17,278 --> 00:22:20,914 "...natural, artificial flavors, calcium phos..." 347 00:22:20,946 --> 00:22:22,582 I am starting to salivate. 348 00:22:22,615 --> 00:22:24,751 This is to die for. 349 00:22:24,784 --> 00:22:27,952 Making fun of my honey buns. 350 00:22:46,436 --> 00:22:47,804 No. 351 00:22:48,772 --> 00:22:50,140 Oh, my God. 352 00:22:51,307 --> 00:22:52,441 Ugh. 353 00:23:02,283 --> 00:23:03,551 Oh, boy. 354 00:23:08,822 --> 00:23:10,958 I'll be a son of a bitch. 355 00:23:13,560 --> 00:23:16,829 I am hereby revoking your driver's license. 356 00:23:16,929 --> 00:23:19,632 evoking your driver's license. R 357 00:23:45,522 --> 00:23:47,489 Oh. 358 00:23:56,330 --> 00:23:57,865 Here it is. 359 00:23:57,965 --> 00:23:59,700 Kendal and Associates. 360 00:23:59,767 --> 00:24:01,034 How'd you find it? 361 00:24:01,102 --> 00:24:03,370 - Checked it on Google. - Google? 362 00:24:04,771 --> 00:24:07,039 The DMV's top examiner's name 363 00:24:07,107 --> 00:24:10,843 is Larry "Lockdown" Mipps. 364 00:24:10,876 --> 00:24:12,545 Yeah, I know him. 365 00:24:12,611 --> 00:24:16,949 Well, let's have a little look at his handiwork, shall we? 366 00:24:17,016 --> 00:24:20,118 Now, this is the test course before Mipps. 367 00:24:20,184 --> 00:24:22,854 Look at how much space there is between those cones. 368 00:24:22,887 --> 00:24:26,524 This is the test course after Mipps. 369 00:24:26,557 --> 00:24:28,525 See how much closer those cones are? 370 00:24:28,559 --> 00:24:29,993 Wow. 371 00:24:30,059 --> 00:24:31,795 Who could do that? 372 00:24:31,862 --> 00:24:35,031 That is where I come in. 373 00:24:35,063 --> 00:24:38,301 For just $799, 374 00:24:38,367 --> 00:24:43,638 I will personally train you to beat that course. 375 00:24:43,705 --> 00:24:45,040 But... 376 00:24:46,241 --> 00:24:48,009 I want you to listen to me, 377 00:24:48,109 --> 00:24:49,411 and I want you listen to me good, 378 00:24:49,511 --> 00:24:51,478 because I'm only going to say this once. 379 00:24:51,545 --> 00:24:52,913 This is not about you 380 00:24:53,013 --> 00:24:56,650 getting back your license to drive, damn it. 381 00:24:56,717 --> 00:24:58,918 This is about you... 382 00:24:58,985 --> 00:25:02,388 getting back your license to live. 383 00:25:03,890 --> 00:25:05,692 Wow. 384 00:25:05,758 --> 00:25:09,595 And would you happen to know who Mr. Mipps' best friend is? 385 00:25:09,661 --> 00:25:11,096 It's none other... 386 00:25:12,764 --> 00:25:14,099 than Tess Woodson. 387 00:25:14,199 --> 00:25:15,766 Your favorite DA. 388 00:25:15,833 --> 00:25:17,234 Oh. 389 00:25:17,268 --> 00:25:18,436 Get her. 390 00:25:21,105 --> 00:25:23,206 Oh! Focus, Victor, focus. 391 00:25:23,273 --> 00:25:25,508 And, by the way, on one leg. 392 00:25:25,575 --> 00:25:26,910 One leg? 393 00:25:26,943 --> 00:25:28,345 Okay. 394 00:25:30,347 --> 00:25:33,682 Oh. Timmy, would you mind demonstrating the proper way 395 00:25:33,749 --> 00:25:35,351 to throw a dart? 396 00:25:35,417 --> 00:25:36,719 One leg. 397 00:25:41,356 --> 00:25:42,457 Wow. 398 00:25:43,691 --> 00:25:45,026 Yeah. 399 00:25:46,227 --> 00:25:47,527 What are you doing? 400 00:25:47,594 --> 00:25:50,230 I'm just trying to gauge your reflexes. 401 00:25:53,767 --> 00:25:55,301 Got it? 402 00:25:55,334 --> 00:25:56,469 Got it. 403 00:25:56,535 --> 00:25:58,638 Look, before I join your little program, 404 00:25:58,738 --> 00:26:03,308 I need to know how you plan on finagling my retest. 405 00:26:03,408 --> 00:26:05,276 Not everybody knows this, 406 00:26:05,310 --> 00:26:07,445 but according to the state code, 407 00:26:07,479 --> 00:26:11,982 buried deep in Article 14, Section 3, 408 00:26:12,049 --> 00:26:14,818 you have a right to a medical waiver. 409 00:26:14,885 --> 00:26:17,721 And that means all I have to do 410 00:26:17,788 --> 00:26:20,757 is file a standard DMV form. 411 00:26:20,823 --> 00:26:21,991 And before you can say, 412 00:26:22,092 --> 00:26:23,292 "Where the hell are my car keys?" 413 00:26:23,326 --> 00:26:24,927 you have a retest date. 414 00:26:24,994 --> 00:26:26,329 Well, what happens 415 00:26:26,428 --> 00:26:27,829 if I don't have a medical condition? 416 00:26:27,929 --> 00:26:29,164 How old are you? 417 00:26:29,264 --> 00:26:31,500 - 72. - That's a medical problem. 418 00:26:31,600 --> 00:26:33,802 Oh. 419 00:26:33,835 --> 00:26:36,237 All right, so, what are we waiting around for? 420 00:26:36,303 --> 00:26:37,938 File the damn papers. 421 00:26:38,005 --> 00:26:40,675 Timmy, if you could, could you file the form posthaste? 422 00:26:42,343 --> 00:26:45,146 Now, I got to warn you, Major, 423 00:26:45,178 --> 00:26:47,514 the next few weeks are going to be your toughest 424 00:26:47,580 --> 00:26:48,648 since boot camp. 425 00:26:48,682 --> 00:26:50,117 You think you can prepare for that? 426 00:26:50,183 --> 00:26:51,517 - I can handle it. - Yeah? 427 00:26:51,617 --> 00:26:53,519 - How bad you want that car back? - I can handle it. 428 00:26:53,585 --> 00:26:55,320 I can handle it. I want it... 429 00:26:55,354 --> 00:26:56,989 I want the goddamn car back! 430 00:26:57,022 --> 00:26:58,323 Oh, see? 431 00:26:58,357 --> 00:27:00,092 That's what I'm talking about. 432 00:27:00,159 --> 00:27:02,161 That's the fire I need. 433 00:27:03,428 --> 00:27:04,529 Dude... 434 00:27:50,235 --> 00:27:52,003 Well. 435 00:27:52,071 --> 00:27:55,005 Of all the cafés in all the towns in all the world. 436 00:27:55,073 --> 00:27:56,574 I had to walk into yours. 437 00:27:57,975 --> 00:27:59,577 - Your place? - Yes, sir. 438 00:27:59,677 --> 00:28:00,845 Oh! 439 00:28:00,911 --> 00:28:03,346 I must have driven past here a thousand times. 440 00:28:03,413 --> 00:28:05,248 Well, it's never too late. 441 00:28:05,348 --> 00:28:06,850 Let's make this official. 442 00:28:06,916 --> 00:28:08,152 Caroline Summers. 443 00:28:08,219 --> 00:28:10,087 - Victor Martin. - Nice to meet you. 444 00:28:11,253 --> 00:28:12,588 Impressive place. 445 00:28:15,424 --> 00:28:18,260 And what about the cuckoo? 446 00:28:18,326 --> 00:28:21,062 Oh, he's extinct. He never comes out. 447 00:28:21,096 --> 00:28:22,497 Can I get you a table by the window? 448 00:28:22,563 --> 00:28:24,332 Oh, I've always been a counter man myself. 449 00:28:24,398 --> 00:28:27,267 Alrighty, then. Well, belly up to the bar, then. 450 00:28:27,334 --> 00:28:28,869 What do you recommend? 451 00:28:30,204 --> 00:28:32,839 Our strudel was just named Pastry of the Year 452 00:28:32,906 --> 00:28:34,573 by Palm Springs Magazine. 453 00:28:34,607 --> 00:28:38,178 We beat out a red velvet cupcake with pomegranate frosting. 454 00:28:38,245 --> 00:28:40,379 Well, that is stiff competition. 455 00:28:40,446 --> 00:28:41,614 Mm-hm. 456 00:28:41,680 --> 00:28:43,215 Strudel it is. 457 00:28:44,949 --> 00:28:46,618 Sonia, this is Victor. 458 00:28:46,684 --> 00:28:48,187 - Hi. - Victor, this is Sonia. 459 00:28:48,254 --> 00:28:49,754 - What do you say, Sonia? - Nice to meet you. 460 00:28:49,788 --> 00:28:52,723 Now, Victor, I know that you love your honey buns, 461 00:28:52,790 --> 00:28:55,859 but I think you're going to like this just a wee bit better. 462 00:28:55,926 --> 00:28:58,129 Okay. 463 00:28:58,961 --> 00:29:00,264 - You ready? - Mm-hm. 464 00:29:00,296 --> 00:29:02,199 All right, this is the big test now. 465 00:29:07,769 --> 00:29:09,238 Oh, my God. 466 00:29:09,304 --> 00:29:11,306 - Well? Did I lie? - Oh! 467 00:29:11,406 --> 00:29:12,974 No! 468 00:29:13,041 --> 00:29:14,243 Wow. 469 00:29:14,308 --> 00:29:16,477 Wow, look at this. 470 00:29:18,479 --> 00:29:23,783 "Art auction. Proceeds to help save the desert turtle." 471 00:29:23,817 --> 00:29:26,920 - Tortoise. - Tortoise. Excuse me. 472 00:29:26,986 --> 00:29:28,321 Tortoise. 473 00:29:29,223 --> 00:29:32,225 And what about the cuckoo? 474 00:29:33,458 --> 00:29:36,262 I'd have an art auction for him. 475 00:29:36,328 --> 00:29:38,164 Poor little guy. Look at him. 476 00:29:39,131 --> 00:29:40,765 Is there a story there? 477 00:29:41,833 --> 00:29:43,068 Uh... 478 00:29:43,135 --> 00:29:44,468 yeah, there is. 479 00:29:45,336 --> 00:29:46,837 Maybe next time. 480 00:29:46,903 --> 00:29:48,939 Right now I'm trying to figure out this app. 481 00:29:49,005 --> 00:29:50,674 Can't help you there. 482 00:29:50,774 --> 00:29:52,843 I'm still working on Snapshot. 483 00:29:54,944 --> 00:29:56,246 What are you laughing at? 484 00:29:56,313 --> 00:29:58,848 It's not Snapshot. 485 00:29:58,948 --> 00:30:00,482 It's Snapchat. 486 00:30:00,516 --> 00:30:03,952 Oh. See? I can't even help you with the name. 487 00:30:05,353 --> 00:30:06,988 My God. 488 00:30:07,021 --> 00:30:08,957 This is the best I ever had. 489 00:30:09,023 --> 00:30:10,824 - Good, I'm glad you like it. - Yeah. 490 00:30:10,858 --> 00:30:12,025 It's 100% organic. 491 00:30:12,093 --> 00:30:13,527 Oh! 492 00:30:13,594 --> 00:30:15,829 Well, I think I'm having an reaction. 493 00:30:15,863 --> 00:30:17,998 I'm having an allergic reaction. 494 00:30:18,031 --> 00:30:20,867 - Should I call 911? - I'm having titanium chloride withdrawal. 495 00:30:20,933 --> 00:30:23,103 - Mm-hm. - Get me something from the package. 496 00:30:23,170 --> 00:30:25,371 It'll be... 497 00:30:26,972 --> 00:30:28,840 I'm better now. 498 00:30:33,545 --> 00:30:35,180 - Yeah. Okay. - Hey. 499 00:30:35,213 --> 00:30:38,350 Trust me, this is better than any driving simulator out there. 500 00:30:38,382 --> 00:30:39,717 - Right. Okay. - Come on. 501 00:30:39,783 --> 00:30:42,485 - All you. - All right, let's do this. 502 00:30:44,355 --> 00:30:46,890 Oh, this is ridiculous. 503 00:30:46,956 --> 00:30:48,725 Come on. 504 00:30:54,529 --> 00:30:55,831 Oh! 505 00:30:59,967 --> 00:31:02,637 - Yeah. - I think we'd better try something else. 506 00:31:04,005 --> 00:31:05,240 Oh! 507 00:31:05,340 --> 00:31:06,740 One more time, 508 00:31:06,806 --> 00:31:08,575 how does this prepare me to get my license back? 509 00:31:08,642 --> 00:31:10,510 Builds toughness. Competitive drive. 510 00:31:10,577 --> 00:31:12,246 - Yeah? - Agility. 511 00:31:12,313 --> 00:31:15,348 Plus the fact that I just loved playing it when I was a kid. 512 00:31:16,216 --> 00:31:17,983 Oh! Oh! 513 00:31:24,422 --> 00:31:25,757 Come on, Sal. Come on... 514 00:31:25,823 --> 00:31:27,259 Oh! Put it up. 515 00:31:27,326 --> 00:31:29,494 Put it up! Put it up! Oh! 516 00:31:31,528 --> 00:31:33,931 - Whoa! - Yay! 517 00:31:33,997 --> 00:31:35,933 Victor, take it out. 518 00:31:37,034 --> 00:31:38,434 Come on, find the pairs. 519 00:31:38,501 --> 00:31:40,270 Got this. Over here is... 520 00:31:40,337 --> 00:31:43,273 Come on, Victor. Concentrate. 521 00:31:43,340 --> 00:31:44,941 Well, it's... 522 00:31:46,008 --> 00:31:47,109 Oh! 523 00:31:47,209 --> 00:31:48,377 Come on, Victor. Concentrate. 524 00:31:48,443 --> 00:31:50,612 I'm trying, I'm trying. 525 00:31:52,447 --> 00:31:53,949 Okay, so... 526 00:31:55,616 --> 00:31:58,619 Ace of hearts is... 527 00:32:01,222 --> 00:32:02,755 is... 528 00:32:04,224 --> 00:32:05,558 no. 529 00:32:05,625 --> 00:32:06,793 Victor. 530 00:32:06,859 --> 00:32:07,794 I can't. 531 00:32:07,894 --> 00:32:09,229 That's the whole point, Victor. 532 00:32:09,296 --> 00:32:10,595 If you get distracted 533 00:32:10,629 --> 00:32:12,198 by some pretty young thing during the test, 534 00:32:12,265 --> 00:32:14,233 it is bye-bye, little silver Porsche. 535 00:32:14,300 --> 00:32:16,802 - You're all cracked out! - I can't do it, man! 536 00:32:16,868 --> 00:32:18,569 - I can't! - Okay, all right. Okay. 537 00:32:18,636 --> 00:32:20,638 I can't do that in my face every three seconds. 538 00:32:20,705 --> 00:32:22,207 - All right, let's... - Hi, how are you? 539 00:32:22,274 --> 00:32:23,442 ...let's call it a day, shall we? 540 00:32:23,474 --> 00:32:24,809 - Oh, geez. - Nice work, girls. 541 00:32:24,909 --> 00:32:26,310 Yes. Yeah. 542 00:32:26,377 --> 00:32:28,412 And-And five gallons of cider, please. 543 00:32:28,478 --> 00:32:31,148 No, wait, wait. Make that six. Yeah. 544 00:32:31,215 --> 00:32:33,117 Whoa, hold on. What... 545 00:32:33,150 --> 00:32:34,783 What are you doing? 546 00:32:34,817 --> 00:32:37,820 I'm trying to figure out what the heck is wrong with it. 547 00:32:37,886 --> 00:32:39,322 What's he doing? 548 00:32:39,422 --> 00:32:41,124 Trying to fix the cuckoo. 549 00:32:41,157 --> 00:32:42,391 Really? 550 00:32:42,458 --> 00:32:43,925 Do not go there. 551 00:32:43,992 --> 00:32:45,593 No, Victor, really, don't bother. 552 00:32:45,660 --> 00:32:47,329 It just... It hasn't worked in forever. 553 00:32:47,429 --> 00:32:48,930 It's just... 554 00:32:48,997 --> 00:32:50,231 I'm sorry, yes. 555 00:32:50,298 --> 00:32:51,798 Yes, that's everything. 556 00:32:51,832 --> 00:32:53,334 Thanks so much. Bye. 557 00:32:57,171 --> 00:33:01,640 So, you really want to hear the story of the cuckoo clock? 558 00:33:01,674 --> 00:33:04,910 Yeah, I really want to hear the story of the cuckoo clock. 559 00:33:04,977 --> 00:33:09,348 Unless you're tired of telling the story of the cuckoo clock. 560 00:33:09,415 --> 00:33:10,682 No, no, no, no, no. 561 00:33:10,749 --> 00:33:12,751 I mean, do you have to be anywhere? 562 00:33:12,817 --> 00:33:15,019 My evening's wide open. 563 00:33:16,087 --> 00:33:17,855 Okay, because... 564 00:33:17,955 --> 00:33:21,759 the telling of the story of the cuckoo clock 565 00:33:21,825 --> 00:33:27,031 needs a certain just-right accompaniment. 566 00:33:29,033 --> 00:33:30,366 Some wine... 567 00:33:33,269 --> 00:33:35,204 A little wine. 568 00:33:35,304 --> 00:33:37,873 And a little time. 569 00:33:37,973 --> 00:33:39,540 Well, you got me all intrigued. 570 00:33:40,975 --> 00:33:42,310 Ah. 571 00:33:42,377 --> 00:33:44,179 What? 572 00:33:44,212 --> 00:33:45,613 I thought all wine was organic. 573 00:33:45,679 --> 00:33:47,281 Oh, please tell me 574 00:33:47,348 --> 00:33:49,682 that you've been living in a cave all these years. 575 00:33:49,716 --> 00:33:51,385 Well, a nicely furnished one. 576 00:33:52,719 --> 00:33:54,054 Well, here's to healthy wine. 577 00:33:54,120 --> 00:33:56,322 Here's to healthy wine. 578 00:33:56,389 --> 00:33:58,525 The story of the cuckoo clock... 579 00:34:00,626 --> 00:34:02,727 is really the story of a spell. 580 00:34:02,827 --> 00:34:04,729 A spell! 581 00:34:05,863 --> 00:34:08,866 If you interrupt me, bad things happen. 582 00:34:08,900 --> 00:34:10,234 Sorry. 583 00:34:10,334 --> 00:34:13,003 He doesn't move, but he always is watching. 584 00:34:13,071 --> 00:34:14,871 Huh. 585 00:34:14,905 --> 00:34:19,209 The cuckoo clock was made in Sebastopol in 1898 586 00:34:19,242 --> 00:34:21,311 by Omar Hussein al-Aman. 587 00:34:21,378 --> 00:34:22,745 He was an old jeweler. 588 00:34:22,845 --> 00:34:25,748 Legend has it he was 123. 589 00:34:25,815 --> 00:34:27,682 123...? 590 00:34:29,418 --> 00:34:33,922 Now, the clock is his masterpiece. 591 00:34:33,987 --> 00:34:37,591 It's taken him 11 years to create it. 592 00:34:37,691 --> 00:34:39,494 It's finally complete. 593 00:34:39,561 --> 00:34:41,895 He brings it home 594 00:34:41,928 --> 00:34:44,565 and he hangs it on the wall 595 00:34:44,597 --> 00:34:47,767 next to a portrait of his wife, Helene. 596 00:34:47,834 --> 00:34:51,870 She was his one and only true love. 597 00:34:51,937 --> 00:34:53,605 And he says, 598 00:34:53,672 --> 00:34:57,443 "I made this in memory of our love, my darling." 599 00:34:58,376 --> 00:34:59,544 And then he goes to bed 600 00:34:59,610 --> 00:35:02,114 and he closes his eyes. 601 00:35:03,381 --> 00:35:05,350 And at the stroke of midnight, 602 00:35:05,417 --> 00:35:07,617 he never opens them again. 603 00:35:11,188 --> 00:35:15,592 And it's said that his spirit inhabits the clock. 604 00:35:16,692 --> 00:35:18,794 So that, my good man, 605 00:35:18,861 --> 00:35:21,464 is the story of my cuckoo clock. 606 00:35:30,438 --> 00:35:32,806 And the spell? 607 00:35:32,873 --> 00:35:34,808 Well, you know what? I don't... 608 00:35:34,875 --> 00:35:36,310 I'm not sure, exactly. 609 00:35:36,377 --> 00:35:38,278 You know, it is kind of the... 610 00:35:38,311 --> 00:35:40,913 You know, if the cuckoo ever cuckoos again 611 00:35:40,980 --> 00:35:43,316 and someone is... 612 00:35:43,416 --> 00:35:46,285 You know, and I don't know. Nobody really knows for sure. 613 00:35:46,318 --> 00:35:48,653 Good or bad? 614 00:35:50,589 --> 00:35:51,923 It's... 615 00:35:53,159 --> 00:35:54,626 You know. 616 00:36:05,435 --> 00:36:07,237 You want the sports section, Vic? 617 00:36:08,472 --> 00:36:10,006 No, I'm okay. 618 00:36:14,010 --> 00:36:16,112 Hey. Hey! 619 00:36:16,179 --> 00:36:17,812 That's my car. 620 00:36:17,845 --> 00:36:19,514 I thought your car was in the pound. 621 00:36:19,614 --> 00:36:21,249 I thought so too. 622 00:36:21,316 --> 00:36:23,518 Hey! Hey! 623 00:36:23,618 --> 00:36:25,320 Vic, they don't open. 624 00:36:25,353 --> 00:36:27,288 Hey, that's my car! 625 00:36:27,354 --> 00:36:29,590 Hey, wait a minute. 626 00:36:32,293 --> 00:36:33,760 Open the doors! 627 00:36:34,860 --> 00:36:36,795 Hey! Hey! 628 00:36:36,862 --> 00:36:40,333 Hey, that's my car! 629 00:36:40,366 --> 00:36:42,201 Hey! Ah! 630 00:36:42,301 --> 00:36:44,336 Oh, shit! 631 00:36:48,106 --> 00:36:49,707 Goddamn... 632 00:36:51,342 --> 00:36:53,644 Hey. Hey. 633 00:36:53,710 --> 00:36:55,613 Yo, gringo, you okay? 634 00:37:02,118 --> 00:37:03,386 Just a second. 635 00:37:03,486 --> 00:37:04,720 Hey. 636 00:37:08,557 --> 00:37:11,527 Here's what I need you to do. 637 00:37:11,560 --> 00:37:14,195 Oh! Go! 638 00:37:20,801 --> 00:37:22,569 By the way, 639 00:37:22,669 --> 00:37:24,071 mi nombre es Torres. 640 00:37:25,672 --> 00:37:27,907 Mi es nombre Victor Martin. 641 00:37:36,881 --> 00:37:38,183 I can't go in. 642 00:37:38,250 --> 00:37:39,917 Why not? 643 00:37:39,984 --> 00:37:42,153 I don't intend to go back in la pinta. 644 00:37:43,321 --> 00:37:44,989 Pinta, man. Jail. 645 00:37:45,056 --> 00:37:47,258 One more strike and I'm off for a while. 646 00:38:19,619 --> 00:38:20,953 Hot. 647 00:38:22,122 --> 00:38:24,857 Hey! You got a permit to be in here? 648 00:38:26,191 --> 00:38:29,094 I saw someone driving my car just a while ago. 649 00:38:29,128 --> 00:38:30,962 No one took your car, old man. 650 00:38:31,030 --> 00:38:33,964 Now get out before I have you arrested for trespassing. 651 00:38:35,199 --> 00:38:36,367 Get out of here. 652 00:38:37,801 --> 00:38:39,370 I'll be back for you. 653 00:38:48,078 --> 00:38:50,746 - Motherfucker. - Crazy old man. 654 00:38:50,812 --> 00:38:52,715 - So? - Found her. 655 00:38:52,782 --> 00:38:53,915 She was waiting for me. 656 00:38:53,982 --> 00:38:55,651 I got to get her back. 657 00:38:55,718 --> 00:38:57,286 Listen, Vic, 658 00:38:57,320 --> 00:38:59,254 you give me a call anytime you need a ride, all right? 659 00:38:59,321 --> 00:39:01,656 I feel bad about all this. Your car wouldn't be in here... 660 00:39:01,723 --> 00:39:04,426 No, no, no, no, no. 661 00:39:04,492 --> 00:39:05,958 Not your fault. 662 00:39:05,993 --> 00:39:08,662 You're not the only dipshit at this party. 663 00:39:20,972 --> 00:39:22,641 ...an art auction tonight 664 00:39:22,674 --> 00:39:24,343 at the Cuckoo Café. 665 00:39:24,409 --> 00:39:26,178 All proceeds will go to save the desert tortoises. 666 00:39:26,278 --> 00:39:28,814 Make sure you and all your friends show up. 667 00:39:30,681 --> 00:39:32,849 We've come to fix the clock. 668 00:39:34,318 --> 00:39:37,021 Ha! My name is Victor Von Martin. 669 00:39:37,121 --> 00:39:39,989 former jet pilot, insane mechanical skills. 670 00:39:40,023 --> 00:39:42,525 This is Salvatore Spinelli. 671 00:39:42,592 --> 00:39:45,328 Salvatore, jeweler, 42 years. 672 00:39:45,362 --> 00:39:47,329 Forty-three, actually. 673 00:39:47,363 --> 00:39:48,863 Nice to meet you. 674 00:39:48,963 --> 00:39:52,267 Victor, I really appreciate your enthusiasm, but no. 675 00:39:52,334 --> 00:39:54,435 The cuckoo will cuckoo no more. 676 00:39:54,502 --> 00:39:57,105 Fraulein, you insult me. 677 00:39:59,107 --> 00:40:03,043 He told me about the spell. 678 00:40:04,444 --> 00:40:06,380 I need to know. 679 00:40:10,949 --> 00:40:13,386 - What's that? - 123-year-old guy 680 00:40:13,486 --> 00:40:14,787 who fondled himself. 681 00:40:18,390 --> 00:40:21,459 - That's a good tone. - Good tone. 682 00:40:21,526 --> 00:40:23,461 Gain weight, lose weight. 683 00:40:26,463 --> 00:40:29,400 - Yeah. - Hey, I see... 684 00:40:30,900 --> 00:40:32,836 I saw. I saw. 685 00:40:32,902 --> 00:40:34,237 This is so much better. 686 00:40:34,303 --> 00:40:36,139 This is what Sherlock Holmes used. 687 00:40:41,177 --> 00:40:43,145 - There we go. - Look at that. 688 00:40:43,211 --> 00:40:45,380 It's coming together, man. 689 00:40:52,186 --> 00:40:53,320 Cogs. 690 00:40:53,387 --> 00:40:54,522 Lots of cogs? 691 00:40:54,588 --> 00:40:55,922 Lots of cogs. 692 00:40:57,191 --> 00:40:58,858 - You know what that is? - Yeah. 693 00:40:58,924 --> 00:41:00,393 - A counter cog. - Yeah. 694 00:41:02,595 --> 00:41:04,431 - Wow. - Hey. 695 00:41:04,497 --> 00:41:06,265 - Wow. - What do you see? 696 00:41:15,740 --> 00:41:18,176 Eight, seven, 697 00:41:18,242 --> 00:41:20,611 six, five, 698 00:41:20,678 --> 00:41:23,613 four, three, 699 00:41:23,713 --> 00:41:26,349 two, one! 700 00:41:26,416 --> 00:41:28,285 Come on, baby! 701 00:41:32,721 --> 00:41:35,357 - Come on. - Come on! 702 00:41:37,792 --> 00:41:40,361 Oh, shoot. 703 00:41:40,428 --> 00:41:42,597 I'm so sorry, man. 704 00:41:42,630 --> 00:41:44,032 Well, we just... 705 00:41:47,968 --> 00:41:49,536 You did it! You did it! 706 00:41:49,603 --> 00:41:51,472 You did it! 707 00:41:51,572 --> 00:41:53,140 - I can't believe you did it! - Yes! 708 00:41:53,240 --> 00:41:54,474 I can't believe you did it! 709 00:41:54,540 --> 00:41:56,409 I can't believe it either. 710 00:41:58,711 --> 00:42:00,146 I can't believe it either. 711 00:42:00,246 --> 00:42:02,147 Are you all right? 712 00:42:02,247 --> 00:42:03,482 Yes. Yes. 713 00:42:04,716 --> 00:42:06,318 And the spell... 714 00:42:09,054 --> 00:42:11,121 What a beautiful thing. 715 00:42:14,658 --> 00:42:16,160 Him? 716 00:42:17,294 --> 00:42:18,661 I guess. 717 00:42:20,230 --> 00:42:23,099 I can't believe grandma was right. 718 00:42:23,166 --> 00:42:25,001 I'll meet the one and only.... 719 00:42:25,068 --> 00:42:27,002 When the cuckoo strikes again. 720 00:42:27,069 --> 00:42:29,304 Don't say it! Don't say it! 721 00:42:32,241 --> 00:42:33,342 Oh, wow. 722 00:42:35,476 --> 00:42:37,745 Hey, Sal. 723 00:42:37,812 --> 00:42:40,281 - Yeah? - Can I ask you a question? 724 00:42:40,348 --> 00:42:41,748 Sure. 725 00:42:41,815 --> 00:42:43,783 How long were you married with Jenny? 726 00:42:43,850 --> 00:42:47,254 Forty-two years. 727 00:42:49,189 --> 00:42:51,757 And, Sal, how is it? 728 00:42:51,824 --> 00:42:55,661 I mean, you know, I'd see you squabbling every now and then. 729 00:42:55,694 --> 00:42:58,630 Ah. Ups and downs. 730 00:42:59,864 --> 00:43:02,700 But I'd do it all over again. 731 00:43:02,767 --> 00:43:03,935 - You would? - Yeah. 732 00:43:04,003 --> 00:43:05,370 Give me that. 733 00:43:06,303 --> 00:43:08,205 You ready to settle down? 734 00:43:08,272 --> 00:43:09,373 Yeah. 735 00:43:11,308 --> 00:43:12,442 Wow. 736 00:43:17,647 --> 00:43:20,650 How would you like to go to an auction tonight? 737 00:43:24,886 --> 00:43:28,123 Well, well, well. Look at the two of you. 738 00:43:28,189 --> 00:43:30,025 A couple of Hollywood leading men. 739 00:43:30,057 --> 00:43:31,225 You look ravishing. 740 00:43:31,292 --> 00:43:33,561 Yeah. Gorgeous dress. 741 00:43:33,627 --> 00:43:36,031 Oh, thanks, guys. 742 00:43:37,131 --> 00:43:39,065 This picture, where'd you take it? 743 00:43:39,165 --> 00:43:40,733 Gosh, that was my very first assignment 744 00:43:40,833 --> 00:43:42,402 for National Geographic. 745 00:43:42,468 --> 00:43:44,837 They sent me out in the desert to photograph the wildlife. 746 00:43:44,904 --> 00:43:46,405 And just as I arrived, 747 00:43:46,505 --> 00:43:49,541 this little fella showed up and smiled at me. 748 00:43:50,842 --> 00:43:52,377 Oh, wow. 749 00:43:53,578 --> 00:43:55,413 Anyway, let's get this auction started. 750 00:43:57,049 --> 00:43:58,416 Victor... 751 00:43:59,985 --> 00:44:01,651 save the tortoise. 752 00:44:01,718 --> 00:44:05,155 Save the desert. Save the world. 753 00:44:09,993 --> 00:44:12,428 Save the tortoise, Victor. 754 00:44:16,165 --> 00:44:18,033 I might just do that. 755 00:44:19,500 --> 00:44:21,703 And the current bid is $350. 756 00:44:21,769 --> 00:44:24,572 350 going once. 350 going twice. 757 00:44:24,606 --> 00:44:26,273 $350... 758 00:44:26,373 --> 00:44:28,909 sold to that beautiful woman in the front row. 759 00:44:31,445 --> 00:44:35,615 Our next item is our very own hostess's award-winning photo 760 00:44:35,715 --> 00:44:37,617 of a happy desert tortoise. 761 00:44:38,952 --> 00:44:40,353 So let's start the bidding at $500. 762 00:44:40,419 --> 00:44:42,754 Anybody for $500? Five hundred. Five hundred. 763 00:44:42,787 --> 00:44:45,190 There's a bid for 500, boom, right there. 764 00:44:45,256 --> 00:44:47,626 Anybody for 600? How about $600? 765 00:44:47,692 --> 00:44:49,360 - Six hundred! - Six hundred there. 766 00:44:49,426 --> 00:44:51,161 Why are we stopping? Now let's go to 700. 767 00:44:51,228 --> 00:44:52,529 $700 is the... 768 00:44:52,596 --> 00:44:54,231 Seven hundred is the bid right there. 769 00:44:54,298 --> 00:44:56,233 $700 for Caroline's beautiful photo 770 00:44:56,300 --> 00:45:00,070 of a happy desert tortoise that needs our help. 771 00:45:00,136 --> 00:45:01,471 One thousand. 772 00:45:01,537 --> 00:45:03,573 One thousand it is right there. 773 00:45:03,640 --> 00:45:05,574 The bid is at one grand. One grand, everybody. 774 00:45:05,641 --> 00:45:07,110 Twelve hundred. 775 00:45:07,142 --> 00:45:08,777 The bid is at 1,200. 776 00:45:08,810 --> 00:45:10,278 $1,200 for that... 777 00:45:10,312 --> 00:45:12,280 - Three thousand. - Three thousand dollars, 778 00:45:12,314 --> 00:45:14,448 - ladies and gentlemen. - Five thousand! 779 00:45:14,749 --> 00:45:16,450 Five thousand. 780 00:45:16,484 --> 00:45:19,320 Five thousand dollars is the current bid. 781 00:45:19,420 --> 00:45:23,423 Victor, you got that kinda dough to spend on a turtle? 782 00:45:23,490 --> 00:45:24,324 Tortoise! 783 00:45:24,357 --> 00:45:25,759 Five thousand going twice. 784 00:45:25,825 --> 00:45:27,128 Five thousand... 785 00:45:27,160 --> 00:45:29,229 Ten thousand dollars! 786 00:45:29,294 --> 00:45:32,132 Ten thousand dollars is the bid. 787 00:45:32,164 --> 00:45:35,001 Ten thousand dollars. Oh, my. 788 00:45:35,101 --> 00:45:36,635 In the room, ten thousand going once. 789 00:45:36,669 --> 00:45:38,269 Ten thousand going twice. 790 00:45:38,336 --> 00:45:39,804 Ten thousand going three times. 791 00:45:39,837 --> 00:45:42,774 And sold to Señor Diego Lozano! 792 00:45:55,751 --> 00:45:57,154 Are you comin'? 793 00:45:57,219 --> 00:45:59,922 Ah, I think I'll stick around a while. 794 00:45:59,990 --> 00:46:03,792 She's a good woman, lucky you. 795 00:46:03,858 --> 00:46:05,027 Talk to you tomorrow. 796 00:46:05,127 --> 00:46:06,695 Hey, goodnight, Sal. Thanks for coming. 797 00:46:06,761 --> 00:46:07,762 Yep. 798 00:46:07,829 --> 00:46:09,363 Whoo, what a night. 799 00:46:09,430 --> 00:46:11,032 We raised a lot of money. 800 00:46:11,132 --> 00:46:12,033 We did. 801 00:46:12,100 --> 00:46:13,034 Where does this... 802 00:46:13,101 --> 00:46:14,368 Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no. 803 00:46:14,435 --> 00:46:16,704 Put that down. I have a much better idea. 804 00:46:16,804 --> 00:46:18,204 Follow me. 805 00:46:22,943 --> 00:46:26,778 Oh, no. No, thank you. 806 00:46:26,845 --> 00:46:29,182 You smoke often? 807 00:46:29,214 --> 00:46:30,882 Often enough. 808 00:46:30,950 --> 00:46:33,451 Does wonders for my arthritis. 809 00:46:34,852 --> 00:46:35,886 Where do you buy it? 810 00:46:35,987 --> 00:46:38,222 I don't. I grow it. 811 00:46:38,322 --> 00:46:41,791 Why do you think my strudels is so popular? 812 00:46:44,195 --> 00:46:45,996 Hey, I better try some of that. 813 00:46:48,732 --> 00:46:50,699 Secret to the strudel. 814 00:46:54,903 --> 00:46:57,305 - Wow. Not bad. - Ahh... 815 00:46:57,371 --> 00:46:59,007 You know, it's funny. 816 00:46:59,074 --> 00:47:03,644 If it wasn't for the bus, we never would've met 817 00:47:03,711 --> 00:47:06,913 and my clock would still be without its cuckoo. 818 00:47:07,014 --> 00:47:09,217 Yeah, I mean, talk about cuckoo. 819 00:47:09,249 --> 00:47:11,718 Oh, come on. 820 00:47:11,752 --> 00:47:14,087 You're a pilot. You're used to getting high. 821 00:47:14,187 --> 00:47:16,156 Yeah, but this grass is Mach 12. 822 00:47:16,223 --> 00:47:21,693 I haven't heard it called grass since the '70s. 823 00:47:21,760 --> 00:47:25,597 You don't look like a bus guy to me. 824 00:47:25,663 --> 00:47:28,100 Oh. 825 00:47:28,167 --> 00:47:32,269 My dear, let me show you something. 826 00:47:33,337 --> 00:47:35,272 - Isn't she a beauty? - Mm. 827 00:47:35,339 --> 00:47:39,109 Judge took it away from me and my license. 828 00:47:39,209 --> 00:47:40,576 I miss her. 829 00:47:40,610 --> 00:47:42,678 Her? 830 00:47:42,745 --> 00:47:44,948 We've been together a long time. 831 00:47:45,015 --> 00:47:47,950 Sorta get, uh, used to things. 832 00:47:48,050 --> 00:47:49,684 I suppose you do. 833 00:47:49,751 --> 00:47:52,188 But wait, wait, let me see that again. 834 00:47:54,889 --> 00:47:57,959 - Oh, no. - What? What? 835 00:47:58,059 --> 00:47:59,894 You're the... 836 00:48:02,529 --> 00:48:05,698 You almost killed half a dozen people down there. 837 00:48:05,765 --> 00:48:06,699 Down where? 838 00:48:06,766 --> 00:48:07,734 Oh, come here. 839 00:48:16,308 --> 00:48:17,642 Does that look familiar? 840 00:48:19,744 --> 00:48:21,412 You're an idiot! 841 00:48:26,250 --> 00:48:29,486 I was an idiot. 842 00:48:29,586 --> 00:48:30,487 Was? 843 00:48:30,587 --> 00:48:32,156 I'm not gonna d87821

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