Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:01,020 --> 00:00:04,880
? It seems today that all you see ?
2
00:00:04,900 --> 00:00:08,220
? Is violence in movies and sex on TV ?
3
00:00:08,240 --> 00:00:11,800
? But where are those good
old-fashioned values ?
4
00:00:11,820 --> 00:00:14,557
? On which we used to rely? ?
5
00:00:14,570 --> 00:00:18,220
? Lucky there's a family guy ?
6
00:00:18,240 --> 00:00:21,605
? Lucky there's a man
who positively can do ?
7
00:00:21,610 --> 00:00:23,190
? All the things that make us ?
8
00:00:23,200 --> 00:00:24,820
? Laugh and cry ?
9
00:00:24,840 --> 00:00:30,150
? He's... a... Fam... ily... Guy! ?
10
00:00:30,170 --> 00:00:34,076
- Synced & corrected by MementMori -
-- www.addic7ed.com --
11
00:00:37,440 --> 00:00:40,280
Good morning, Peter.
Hope you enjoyed sleeping in.
12
00:00:40,300 --> 00:00:42,840
Oh, there's no sleeping in
when you're an alcoholic, Lois.
13
00:00:42,860 --> 00:00:44,600
You just never go to sleep.
14
00:00:45,200 --> 00:00:46,940
Happy Valentine's Day, honey.
15
00:00:46,960 --> 00:00:50,760
You actually remembered
it was Valentine's Day.
16
00:00:50,780 --> 00:00:52,094
Of course I did.
17
00:00:52,100 --> 00:00:53,780
Look, I know in years past,
18
00:00:53,800 --> 00:00:55,860
I haven't always been the
most thoughtful partner.
19
00:00:55,880 --> 00:00:59,340
I'm often self-centered,
confuse my words, and shellfish.
20
00:00:59,360 --> 00:01:02,040
But I love you today and every day.
21
00:01:02,060 --> 00:01:04,400
You are our family's rock,
22
00:01:04,420 --> 00:01:06,859
which is why I got you this.
23
00:01:06,860 --> 00:01:09,780
Oh, jewelry.
24
00:01:09,800 --> 00:01:11,780
Like in a commercial.
25
00:01:12,130 --> 00:01:13,180
_
26
00:01:14,920 --> 00:01:16,860
A Pedalton?
27
00:01:16,870 --> 00:01:20,640
Okay, can I talk to you upstairs
for a near-the-vent argument?
28
00:01:24,280 --> 00:01:28,240
How dare you buy me something
that suggests I need exercise!
29
00:01:28,250 --> 00:01:30,580
This is a loud way to say thank you.
30
00:01:30,600 --> 00:01:33,160
Anybody have Valentine's
Day in the divorce pool?
31
00:01:33,880 --> 00:01:36,020
- That would be Meg.
- Boom, boom, boom.
32
00:01:36,040 --> 00:01:38,807
Picked a holiday. Smart. She's smart.
33
00:01:38,810 --> 00:01:41,977
I just thought you'd like it.
I saw it on The Today Show.
34
00:01:43,400 --> 00:01:45,630
Second hour with Hoda and Savannah
35
00:01:45,650 --> 00:01:47,660
or third hour with the nonsense people?
36
00:01:47,680 --> 00:01:49,485
- Second hour.
- Where is it?
37
00:01:54,010 --> 00:01:56,158
_
38
00:01:57,180 --> 00:01:58,300
Good morning.
39
00:01:58,320 --> 00:02:00,220
I'm your instructor, Cody Spraytan.
40
00:02:00,240 --> 00:02:03,332
Are you ready to pedal so
hard your periods go away?
41
00:02:03,340 --> 00:02:06,477
Yes! It's not healthy,
but it's convenient.
42
00:02:06,480 --> 00:02:07,540
Now we're gonna sprint
43
00:02:07,560 --> 00:02:09,480
while I tell a distracting
personal story
44
00:02:09,490 --> 00:02:12,080
about how I almost met Adam Levine.
45
00:02:13,470 --> 00:02:15,580
It's 2016. It's Vegas.
46
00:02:15,600 --> 00:02:17,501
I'm coming off a horrible breakup.
47
00:02:17,510 --> 00:02:18,560
First pool party in,
48
00:02:18,580 --> 00:02:21,060
I see who I think is a
dirty man with tattoos,
49
00:02:21,080 --> 00:02:22,300
and I'm like, "Ugh."
50
00:02:22,320 --> 00:02:25,062
But then I'm like, "Wait a minute."
51
00:02:28,065 --> 00:02:31,402
Huh, I think I'll try a
scenic ride this morning.
52
00:02:31,410 --> 00:02:34,613
Let's see. Uh, California Coastline,
53
00:02:34,620 --> 00:02:36,320
Gardens of Singapo...
54
00:02:36,340 --> 00:02:39,451
Oh, The Tour De Franz.
55
00:02:39,460 --> 00:02:41,840
Pull over here. Let's get a sausage.
56
00:02:41,860 --> 00:02:43,740
We just started, Dennis.
57
00:02:43,760 --> 00:02:46,480
I once watched a squirrel
get hit by a car right here,
58
00:02:46,490 --> 00:02:48,791
and I saw one get hit
by a truck over there.
59
00:02:48,800 --> 00:02:50,400
Yeah, you've seen a lot of squirrels
60
00:02:50,420 --> 00:02:51,820
get hit by a lot of things.
61
00:02:51,830 --> 00:02:54,000
There are a lot of stupid squirrels.
62
00:02:54,020 --> 00:02:55,620
Shouldn't you be wearing bike shorts
63
00:02:55,640 --> 00:02:58,440
- instead of jean shorts?
- Eh, shorts are shorts.
64
00:02:58,460 --> 00:03:00,305
Oh, hey, there's a stop sign coming.
65
00:03:00,310 --> 00:03:02,080
Give it the finger and ride through.
66
00:03:05,010 --> 00:03:06,520
Bite me!
67
00:03:06,530 --> 00:03:09,200
This isn't very fun. When are we done?
68
00:03:09,220 --> 00:03:10,940
We ride until my ass falls out.
69
00:03:10,960 --> 00:03:12,140
It's already out.
70
00:03:12,150 --> 00:03:13,480
Then we're done.
71
00:03:22,630 --> 00:03:24,600
What the hell?
72
00:03:27,610 --> 00:03:30,043
You're not taking this from me, bitch.
73
00:03:32,380 --> 00:03:35,674
Suck it, Bon.
74
00:03:39,430 --> 00:03:42,380
I hope that mascara burns your eyes out.
75
00:03:42,410 --> 00:03:44,200
How's that cheap wine headache?
76
00:03:44,220 --> 00:03:46,520
Go roll in dirt, you pig.
77
00:03:46,530 --> 00:03:48,120
Your hair dye stinks!
78
00:03:48,140 --> 00:03:49,399
- Tell your daughter...
- Tell your son
79
00:03:49,400 --> 00:03:51,379
- to stop watching me change!
- ... to stop watching me change!
80
00:03:51,380 --> 00:03:53,442
Peter, go cut her power!
81
00:03:55,240 --> 00:03:56,400
- Hey.
- Hey.
82
00:04:02,960 --> 00:04:04,480
Oh, someone's in here.
83
00:04:16,230 --> 00:04:18,570
Whoa, did we get that
European exchange student
84
00:04:18,590 --> 00:04:19,927
I saw on TikTok?
85
00:04:21,960 --> 00:04:23,840
Hey, little man.
86
00:04:23,850 --> 00:04:25,974
Lois?
87
00:04:25,980 --> 00:04:29,500
But you're... you're... hot.
88
00:04:29,520 --> 00:04:31,140
All right, everyone out.
89
00:04:31,160 --> 00:04:32,648
I got a soupy keister.
90
00:04:37,220 --> 00:04:39,610
Wow, Mom. You are looking fit.
91
00:04:39,620 --> 00:04:41,070
Yeah, you're ripped.
92
00:04:41,080 --> 00:04:43,150
You look like Madonn...
93
00:04:43,160 --> 00:04:44,938
You want to say that again?
94
00:04:44,940 --> 00:04:46,490
Who do I look like?
95
00:04:46,500 --> 00:04:49,020
The mom from Modern Family.
96
00:04:49,040 --> 00:04:51,140
That's right. Julie Bowen.
97
00:04:51,160 --> 00:04:53,210
That's the appropriate answer.
98
00:04:53,220 --> 00:04:55,060
What do you think of Lois's new look?
99
00:04:55,080 --> 00:04:57,500
I say this in the most
respectful way possible,
100
00:04:57,520 --> 00:04:59,180
but don't you think
she looks a little...
101
00:04:59,190 --> 00:05:01,385
- mannish?
- Mannish. Yeah, awesome, right?
102
00:05:01,390 --> 00:05:04,520
Yeah, I got to say,
Peter, I love that bike.
103
00:05:04,540 --> 00:05:06,807
Hey, maybe you should
give it a try, huh?
104
00:05:06,810 --> 00:05:09,810
No way. Name one cool
person who rides a bike.
105
00:05:09,820 --> 00:05:10,853
Kermit the Fro...
106
00:05:10,860 --> 00:05:13,856
Okay, skinny legs, here I come.
107
00:05:13,860 --> 00:05:16,740
Good morning. Are you ready to sweat?
108
00:05:16,760 --> 00:05:20,060
- I woke up sweating.
- Okay, let's climb this hill!
109
00:05:20,080 --> 00:05:21,240
I want to impress you,
110
00:05:21,260 --> 00:05:23,800
but also see if I can peek
down your sports bra.
111
00:05:25,440 --> 00:05:28,450
Ow! Ow! Ow! My balls.
112
00:05:29,100 --> 00:05:30,580
No, the other ones.
113
00:05:30,590 --> 00:05:31,999
Ow! Ow! Ow!
114
00:05:32,000 --> 00:05:33,917
Ow! Ow! Ow!
115
00:05:33,920 --> 00:05:35,601
Did you hear that?
116
00:05:35,610 --> 00:05:38,171
- I think Peter hurt his balls.
- I didn't hear anything.
117
00:05:38,180 --> 00:05:41,160
Hmm. Must have been at a
frequency only dogs can hear.
118
00:05:43,260 --> 00:05:45,580
_
119
00:05:45,610 --> 00:05:47,330
_
120
00:05:47,360 --> 00:05:48,640
_
121
00:05:49,980 --> 00:05:51,640
Excuse me, I have to go bark.
122
00:05:59,370 --> 00:06:02,029
So, what do you think
happened to my voice, Doc?
123
00:06:02,030 --> 00:06:05,540
Peter, I'm afraid you suffered
something called Pedalton Balls.
124
00:06:05,560 --> 00:06:07,600
Here's a video explaining everything.
125
00:06:07,870 --> 00:06:10,080
Hi, I'm Oliver Platt,
126
00:06:10,110 --> 00:06:12,430
here to talk to you
about Pedalton Balls,
127
00:06:12,440 --> 00:06:14,590
a painful condition where your testicles
128
00:06:14,600 --> 00:06:16,585
get lodged next to your voice box.
129
00:06:16,590 --> 00:06:18,989
It's actually part of a
long list of ailments
130
00:06:18,990 --> 00:06:21,540
that fat guys suffer when
they try to exercise.
131
00:06:21,560 --> 00:06:24,300
These include Trapped Fart Disorder,
132
00:06:24,320 --> 00:06:25,820
Jump Rope Tangles,
133
00:06:25,840 --> 00:06:27,054
Push-Up Butt,
134
00:06:27,060 --> 00:06:29,960
Sock-Skin Foot and Jog Fog,
135
00:06:29,980 --> 00:06:33,101
where your sweat condenses
into a functioning cloud.
136
00:06:33,110 --> 00:06:35,300
But don't worry.
With the help of gravity,
137
00:06:35,320 --> 00:06:37,380
Pedalton Balls will clear itself.
138
00:06:37,400 --> 00:06:38,420
While you're waiting,
139
00:06:38,440 --> 00:06:42,080
check out my 1993 medium
hit The Three Musketeers,
140
00:06:42,100 --> 00:06:43,528
because I only do movies
141
00:06:43,530 --> 00:06:46,156
with titles that are also candy bars.
142
00:06:46,160 --> 00:06:47,470
Isn't there anything I can do
143
00:06:47,480 --> 00:06:49,701
to help my voice get
back to normal faster?
144
00:06:49,710 --> 00:06:51,600
I don't know, I just
like putting on videos.
145
00:06:51,620 --> 00:06:55,040
I guess try doing something
with a lot of needless standing?
146
00:06:55,050 --> 00:06:56,880
All rise.
147
00:06:57,760 --> 00:07:00,020
Before we start communion,
148
00:07:00,040 --> 00:07:02,200
we have a few church announcements.
149
00:07:02,220 --> 00:07:05,540
First off, I'm seeing a
lot of AirPods in ears,
150
00:07:05,560 --> 00:07:08,160
so let's get that under control.
151
00:07:08,170 --> 00:07:11,000
Secondly, all hymns
now identify as "they."
152
00:07:11,010 --> 00:07:14,580
And, of course, "amen" is now "athem."
153
00:07:14,600 --> 00:07:15,894
Athem.
154
00:07:15,900 --> 00:07:17,479
Athem.
155
00:07:19,650 --> 00:07:22,340
Stewie, how would you like to go
156
00:07:22,360 --> 00:07:25,196
to a Mommy & Me class
with me tomorrow, huh?
157
00:07:25,200 --> 00:07:26,980
They haven't seen my new look yet,
158
00:07:26,990 --> 00:07:29,600
and I feel like I need a win in
front of the Range Rover mom.
159
00:07:29,620 --> 00:07:31,600
Are you asking me out on a date?
160
00:07:31,610 --> 00:07:33,989
Well, I'm gonna have to get waxed first.
161
00:07:33,990 --> 00:07:36,915
I want you to make it look like Caillou.
162
00:07:38,510 --> 00:07:41,340
- The Body of Christ.
- Thank you, Father.
163
00:07:41,360 --> 00:07:43,980
Your voice. It's pristine.
164
00:07:43,990 --> 00:07:46,790
You know, one of our altar
boys called in sick today.
165
00:07:46,800 --> 00:07:49,500
How would you like to fill
in for him in the choir?
166
00:07:49,520 --> 00:07:51,520
Well, okay.
167
00:07:51,540 --> 00:07:54,600
But only if God will kill a bunch
of babies for no reason.
168
00:07:54,620 --> 00:07:55,860
That's not a problem.
169
00:07:55,880 --> 00:07:58,200
God does that a lot in the Bible.
170
00:08:10,830 --> 00:08:15,780
? To Jesus Christ, our sovereign king ?
171
00:08:15,800 --> 00:08:21,418
? Who is the world's salvation. ?
172
00:08:21,420 --> 00:08:23,620
They're falling asleep out there.
173
00:08:23,640 --> 00:08:25,100
We got to kick this up a notch.
174
00:08:25,110 --> 00:08:27,500
- Follow my lead.
- We don't know who you are.
175
00:08:28,300 --> 00:08:30,160
? Tragedy ?
176
00:08:30,180 --> 00:08:33,430
? When church is lame and you
miss the game, it's a tragedy ?
177
00:08:34,520 --> 00:08:36,510
? When your bum goes
numb from kneeling some ?
178
00:08:36,520 --> 00:08:39,853
? It's a tragedy. ?
179
00:08:41,490 --> 00:08:44,780
Wow, that was amazing!
180
00:08:44,790 --> 00:08:47,540
How would you like to be a
regular member of the choir?
181
00:08:47,550 --> 00:08:49,920
I'll do it, buddy, under one condition:
182
00:08:49,930 --> 00:08:52,540
we shake like that epic handshake meme.
183
00:08:52,560 --> 00:08:54,560
You got a deal, buddy.
184
00:08:55,090 --> 00:08:57,080
_
185
00:08:57,110 --> 00:08:59,247
_
186
00:09:02,870 --> 00:09:05,837
Everyone, let's take out
our drums for drum circle.
187
00:09:08,440 --> 00:09:11,020
You ready to play again? Me, too.
188
00:09:11,030 --> 00:09:13,760
My refraction period is very short.
189
00:09:13,780 --> 00:09:15,860
I finish fast, but I can go a lot.
190
00:09:15,880 --> 00:09:17,340
Some people prefer that.
191
00:09:17,350 --> 00:09:18,720
A good refractor.
192
00:09:53,920 --> 00:09:55,820
Now let me do you.
193
00:10:04,750 --> 00:10:06,080
Is everyone watching?
194
00:10:06,100 --> 00:10:09,310
Are they impressed with
how quickly I refracted?
195
00:10:11,760 --> 00:10:13,660
? He died for us, he died for us ?
196
00:10:13,690 --> 00:10:15,740
? He died for us, he died for us ?
197
00:10:15,750 --> 00:10:17,460
? He died for us, he died for us ?
198
00:10:17,490 --> 00:10:19,490
? He died for us, he died for us ?
199
00:10:19,500 --> 00:10:23,160
? In the Bible, the holy Bible ?
200
00:10:23,180 --> 00:10:27,252
? Messiah sleeps tonight. ?
201
00:10:28,410 --> 00:10:30,440
That was wonderful, Peter.
202
00:10:30,450 --> 00:10:32,500
Way better than our previous choir
203
00:10:32,520 --> 00:10:35,920
who killed half our
congregation during COVID.
204
00:10:35,940 --> 00:10:37,679
You really think you
can just come in here
205
00:10:37,680 --> 00:10:40,720
- and steal our spotlight?
- Aw, Spotlight.
206
00:10:40,730 --> 00:10:42,520
Yeah, before you came, I was wrist-deep
207
00:10:42,530 --> 00:10:44,100
in every old lady's casserole.
208
00:10:44,120 --> 00:10:47,360
Now I'm lucky if I get just a
sniff of an old lady's casserole.
209
00:10:47,380 --> 00:10:48,520
I like this story.
210
00:10:48,540 --> 00:10:51,651
If you knew what was good
for you, you'd quit right now.
211
00:10:51,660 --> 00:10:52,820
I'm not quitting.
212
00:10:52,840 --> 00:10:55,906
And I'm not gonna be bullied
by some noodle-armed kids.
213
00:10:55,910 --> 00:10:58,639
Hey, we're tough Catholic kids.
We've been assaulted
214
00:10:58,640 --> 00:11:01,780
by an army of older brothers
and sisters our entire lives.
215
00:11:01,790 --> 00:11:03,880
You ever have an older
sister sit on your head
216
00:11:03,890 --> 00:11:06,160
for an entire Notre Dame football game?
217
00:11:06,180 --> 00:11:08,280
- Because I have.
- Hey, Peter,
218
00:11:08,300 --> 00:11:10,800
what did the kneeling
apparatus say to the ankle?
219
00:11:10,820 --> 00:11:12,200
"Pew."
220
00:11:14,650 --> 00:11:17,240
I'm your rides home, guys.
221
00:11:21,050 --> 00:11:23,500
Okay, I'm gonna go heat
up your bottle, Stewie.
222
00:11:23,520 --> 00:11:25,185
I'll be right back.
223
00:11:26,350 --> 00:11:28,020
Hey, how was your "date"?
224
00:11:28,030 --> 00:11:29,760
It's still going.
225
00:11:29,770 --> 00:11:31,370
I'm pretty close to done with this.
226
00:11:31,390 --> 00:11:32,440
When we parked the car,
227
00:11:32,450 --> 00:11:33,849
she did that thing where she leaned over
228
00:11:33,850 --> 00:11:35,820
and unbuckled me from my car seat.
229
00:11:35,840 --> 00:11:37,920
And she took a little extra time
230
00:11:37,940 --> 00:11:40,420
fishing around for that
bottom safety belt.
231
00:11:40,440 --> 00:11:42,200
You know what that means.
232
00:11:42,220 --> 00:11:45,000
- Please stop.
- The only downside is she has kids.
233
00:11:45,020 --> 00:11:48,100
But I said I'm cool with it, and
whoosh, the doors flew open.
234
00:11:48,120 --> 00:11:50,520
That's a little tip.
I've got a little tip, too.
235
00:11:50,540 --> 00:11:52,160
Yes?
236
00:11:52,170 --> 00:11:54,300
- What?
- Someone did...
237
00:11:54,310 --> 00:11:56,660
- I'm here now. What is it?
- Oh.
238
00:11:56,670 --> 00:11:59,680
Uh, n-no, I was using that
to punctuate my sentences.
239
00:11:59,700 --> 00:12:03,360
Don't do that. I walked very
far thinking I'd get a carrot.
240
00:12:03,380 --> 00:12:04,980
Very far.
241
00:12:05,000 --> 00:12:07,310
There's no carrots, guys.
242
00:12:10,840 --> 00:12:12,560
So, this is my place.
243
00:12:12,570 --> 00:12:15,070
I'm living with my parents right
now, which isn't preferred,
244
00:12:15,080 --> 00:12:16,699
but they always keep
yogurt in the fridge,
245
00:12:16,700 --> 00:12:18,220
so that's pretty tight.
246
00:12:18,240 --> 00:12:20,000
All right, good night, Stewie.
247
00:12:20,020 --> 00:12:22,993
I had a really nice day with you.
248
00:12:24,530 --> 00:12:26,700
Wait, that's it?
249
00:12:26,710 --> 00:12:29,341
You're leaving? I thought...
250
00:12:34,040 --> 00:12:36,280
Oh, my little buddy.
251
00:12:36,300 --> 00:12:39,420
You're upset. Okay, okay,
I'll tell you what.
252
00:12:39,440 --> 00:12:43,300
You can sleep with Mommy in
the big bed tonight, okay?
253
00:12:43,320 --> 00:12:45,003
The big bed?
254
00:12:45,010 --> 00:12:47,380
Well, Rupert, don't wait up,
'cause I'm gonna be...
255
00:12:53,180 --> 00:12:55,180
Father, can I talk to you for a minute?
256
00:12:55,190 --> 00:12:57,460
Peter, come in. What's on your mind?
257
00:12:57,470 --> 00:13:00,100
It's just I really like singing here.
258
00:13:00,110 --> 00:13:03,700
I finally found a way I can
positively contribute in church.
259
00:13:03,710 --> 00:13:05,952
But the other choirboys hate me.
260
00:13:05,960 --> 00:13:08,480
You know, a wise man once said,
261
00:13:08,510 --> 00:13:13,043
"The thing about humanity is that
we get stronger with adversity."
262
00:13:13,050 --> 00:13:14,669
Who said that? Jesus?
263
00:13:14,670 --> 00:13:17,960
No, it was Justin Bieber's
dad on Twitter.
264
00:13:17,970 --> 00:13:21,400
The answer to pretty much all of
life's questions are on Twitter.
265
00:13:21,420 --> 00:13:22,480
Try there.
266
00:13:22,490 --> 00:13:24,390
So you're not gonna help me?
267
00:13:24,400 --> 00:13:27,280
Oh, I'm not allowed
to talk to kids alone.
268
00:13:27,300 --> 00:13:29,060
Not because of anything I did.
269
00:13:29,080 --> 00:13:32,687
It was, you know,
all the other dingbats.
270
00:13:35,530 --> 00:13:38,000
Well, I guess I'm on my own, then.
271
00:13:38,020 --> 00:13:40,612
Oh, no, you're not.
272
00:13:44,700 --> 00:13:46,034
Jesus?
273
00:13:46,040 --> 00:13:48,740
I am here to help you with your problem.
274
00:13:48,750 --> 00:13:50,120
You're gonna help me win an Emmy?
275
00:13:50,130 --> 00:13:52,780
Whoa, no, no, no. Your choir problem.
276
00:13:52,800 --> 00:13:55,060
There's some things not even I can do.
277
00:13:55,070 --> 00:13:58,320
- Maybe you can ask your dad?
- I'm not gonna ask my dad.
278
00:14:04,780 --> 00:14:07,150
Uh-oh, someone better call Noah,
279
00:14:07,170 --> 00:14:10,400
because I think one of his
hippos fell off the ark.
280
00:14:11,560 --> 00:14:12,680
Bible burn.
281
00:14:12,690 --> 00:14:14,880
Come on, guys. I came
here to make peace.
282
00:14:14,890 --> 00:14:17,680
And I brought someone with me
who I think you'll listen to:
283
00:14:17,700 --> 00:14:19,025
Jesus Christ.
284
00:14:22,780 --> 00:14:25,310
That's not Jesus. Why's he so tan?
285
00:14:25,320 --> 00:14:28,517
Yeah, everyone knows that
Jesus was Paul Bettany pale.
286
00:14:28,520 --> 00:14:29,860
Guys, it's really me.
287
00:14:29,880 --> 00:14:32,600
Now, let's talk about
the power of forgiveness
288
00:14:32,620 --> 00:14:34,400
while I lean on my own knee.
289
00:14:34,420 --> 00:14:35,959
Ew, look at his toenails.
290
00:14:35,960 --> 00:14:37,627
They're so long and yellow.
291
00:14:37,630 --> 00:14:40,140
They keep growing after you die, okay?
292
00:14:40,170 --> 00:14:41,881
You guys are supposed to listen to me.
293
00:14:44,610 --> 00:14:47,330
Hey, want to know what my
favorite book of the Bible is?
294
00:14:47,350 --> 00:14:49,180
The Old Testes-ment.
295
00:14:49,190 --> 00:14:50,600
That's not how you say it.
296
00:14:50,610 --> 00:14:52,142
They're gonna kick you in the schnutz.
297
00:14:53,940 --> 00:14:56,320
Those kids are really mean.
298
00:14:56,340 --> 00:14:58,000
Well, we're taking a new approach.
299
00:14:58,020 --> 00:14:59,680
You're gonna beat the crap out of them,
300
00:14:59,700 --> 00:15:01,120
and I'm gonna help you do it.
301
00:15:01,140 --> 00:15:02,780
But would I be the first person
302
00:15:02,800 --> 00:15:05,940
to be violent to someone else
in the name of Jesus Christ?
303
00:15:05,960 --> 00:15:09,033
No, that's kind of
religion's whole deal.
304
00:15:13,580 --> 00:15:16,060
Morning. Sorry if I'm
walking a little funny.
305
00:15:16,080 --> 00:15:18,710
Crazy night.
306
00:15:18,720 --> 00:15:23,370
Hey, so don't tell anybody,
but I slept with Lois last night.
307
00:15:23,380 --> 00:15:25,780
Who are you gonna tell? Chris?
308
00:15:25,790 --> 00:15:26,880
You can tell Chris.
309
00:15:26,890 --> 00:15:28,269
I don't know what you
think you're doing,
310
00:15:28,270 --> 00:15:29,819
but it's not what you
think you're doing.
311
00:15:29,820 --> 00:15:31,640
Look, all I know is I woke up sideways
312
00:15:31,660 --> 00:15:33,800
on the other end of the
bed from where I started.
313
00:15:33,820 --> 00:15:35,500
But tonight is the night.
314
00:15:35,520 --> 00:15:38,271
It is going down.
315
00:15:38,280 --> 00:15:39,820
- What is?
- It.
316
00:15:39,830 --> 00:15:42,920
- What's "it"?
- Capital "I," capital "T."
317
00:15:42,940 --> 00:15:45,099
- That's still nothing.
- Turn on Kenny Loggins,
318
00:15:45,100 --> 00:15:47,480
- because "This Is It."
- What?
319
00:15:47,500 --> 00:15:49,240
The IT department called,
320
00:15:49,270 --> 00:15:51,240
and they asked for a lot of RAM.
321
00:15:51,260 --> 00:15:52,639
Well, that one kind of makes sense.
322
00:15:52,640 --> 00:15:55,570
After tonight, Cousin It isn't
gonna be the only one
323
00:15:55,580 --> 00:15:57,500
- covered in hair.
- Okay, nope. I'm out.
324
00:15:57,520 --> 00:15:59,460
Gonna go finish my
coffee in the sunroom.
325
00:16:00,880 --> 00:16:03,060
Chris was FaceTiming
with a foot in there.
326
00:16:03,080 --> 00:16:05,000
I'm gonna just call it
a day. Go to sleep.
327
00:16:05,020 --> 00:16:06,320
Dogs can just do that.
328
00:16:11,250 --> 00:16:15,475
Does anyone know how to send
athlete's foot spray to Romania?
329
00:16:22,080 --> 00:16:23,650
All right, that's all of 'em.
330
00:16:23,660 --> 00:16:26,569
Good. Now go refill all the holy water.
331
00:16:26,570 --> 00:16:27,580
What am I doing here?
332
00:16:27,600 --> 00:16:30,040
Stow the hymnals, dust the altar.
333
00:16:30,050 --> 00:16:31,700
I'm supposed to be training to fight,
334
00:16:31,720 --> 00:16:33,480
and you're having me clean the church.
335
00:16:33,500 --> 00:16:35,860
Show me "Sign of the Cross."
336
00:16:37,260 --> 00:16:39,415
No. Really show me.
337
00:16:41,300 --> 00:16:43,962
Now show me "Stow the Hymnals."
338
00:16:46,390 --> 00:16:50,000
Oh, you've been teaching
me this whole time.
339
00:16:50,020 --> 00:16:51,820
I love these scenes.
340
00:16:51,840 --> 00:16:54,514
Now show me "Book of Mark."
341
00:16:54,520 --> 00:16:57,433
Ow! I didn't do the reading ones.
342
00:17:03,430 --> 00:17:05,692
Tonight is the night, Rupert.
343
00:17:05,700 --> 00:17:07,000
She's gonna be here any minute,
344
00:17:07,010 --> 00:17:08,940
and I need everything to be perfect.
345
00:17:08,960 --> 00:17:11,600
You finally get to watch,
you little freak.
346
00:17:15,660 --> 00:17:18,460
Oh, well, look at you, Mr. Sleepyhead.
347
00:17:18,470 --> 00:17:19,940
Mind if I join you?
348
00:17:19,950 --> 00:17:21,499
Don't mind at all.
349
00:17:23,830 --> 00:17:26,838
Wait. Where's that rippling hot bod?
350
00:17:26,840 --> 00:17:29,540
Oh, it feels good to have
my old body back.
351
00:17:29,560 --> 00:17:31,870
I used that Pedalton for three days.
352
00:17:31,880 --> 00:17:33,670
They said that was a world record.
353
00:17:33,680 --> 00:17:36,139
And I am out of here.
354
00:17:37,940 --> 00:17:39,420
No, you can't still watch.
355
00:17:39,430 --> 00:17:41,352
There's nothing to watch.
It's not happening.
356
00:17:51,370 --> 00:17:53,531
We told you to get lost, Griffin.
357
00:17:53,540 --> 00:17:55,220
I did get lost.
358
00:17:55,240 --> 00:17:57,035
In the power of Christ.
359
00:17:59,210 --> 00:18:01,039
Go get him, boys.
360
00:18:12,260 --> 00:18:14,580
Looks like someone learned how to fight.
361
00:18:14,590 --> 00:18:16,740
Yeah, I did a whole Karate Kid thing.
362
00:18:16,760 --> 00:18:19,780
What's that? I'm only allowed
to watch Kirk Cameron movies.
363
00:18:19,800 --> 00:18:21,768
Aw, you poor dude.
364
00:18:40,930 --> 00:18:43,540
Just give up already.
365
00:18:43,550 --> 00:18:44,916
You're finished.
366
00:18:53,460 --> 00:18:54,470
Finish him.
367
00:19:05,530 --> 00:19:07,780
Yeah! Eat cross!
368
00:19:07,790 --> 00:19:10,700
- You did it, Peter.
- Yeah! High five!
369
00:19:10,720 --> 00:19:12,026
Cool scar.
370
00:19:19,720 --> 00:19:20,940
Ow, my balls!
371
00:19:21,810 --> 00:19:23,162
Ow, my balls?
372
00:19:23,170 --> 00:19:25,500
Hey, my voice is back to normal.
373
00:19:25,520 --> 00:19:27,100
Oh, well, look at that.
374
00:19:27,110 --> 00:19:29,180
I guess you can't sing
in the choir anymore.
375
00:19:29,200 --> 00:19:30,580
I guess not.
376
00:19:30,600 --> 00:19:32,410
Hey, you guys want to call a truce?
377
00:19:32,430 --> 00:19:34,560
And maybe don't tell your
dads I beat you up?
378
00:19:34,570 --> 00:19:36,500
Yeah. That's probably a good idea.
379
00:19:36,520 --> 00:19:38,160
Hey, why you guys so mean anyway?
380
00:19:38,180 --> 00:19:41,040
What did anybody ever do
to a bunch of choirboys?
381
00:19:42,520 --> 00:19:44,180
Oh, my stars.
382
00:19:46,660 --> 00:19:49,760
_
383
00:19:49,790 --> 00:19:53,220
_
384
00:19:53,830 --> 00:19:56,890
_
385
00:19:56,920 --> 00:20:00,116
_
386
00:20:00,340 --> 00:20:03,440
_
387
00:20:03,470 --> 00:20:06,640
_
388
00:20:06,930 --> 00:20:10,280
_
389
00:20:10,300 --> 00:20:13,450
_
390
00:20:14,270 --> 00:20:17,330
_
391
00:20:17,360 --> 00:20:20,344
_
392
00:20:20,370 --> 00:20:22,330
_
393
00:20:22,360 --> 00:20:25,200
_
394
00:20:25,820 --> 00:20:28,760
_
395
00:20:28,790 --> 00:20:31,970
_
396
00:20:32,790 --> 00:20:35,300
_
397
00:20:35,330 --> 00:20:38,720
_
398
00:20:39,800 --> 00:20:42,850
_
399
00:20:42,880 --> 00:20:47,121
_
400
00:20:47,830 --> 00:20:49,960
Hi, I'm Lois Griffin.
401
00:20:49,970 --> 00:20:53,180
Please, before you buy one
of these pieces of equipment,
402
00:20:53,200 --> 00:20:56,240
think about if it's gonna be
better than watching Ozark.
403
00:20:56,260 --> 00:20:57,290
Thank you.
404
00:20:58,240 --> 00:21:00,959
Damn it! Who put that weight there?!
405
00:21:00,960 --> 00:21:05,960
- Synced & corrected by MementMori -
-- www.addic7ed.com --
29128
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.