All language subtitles for Boston Legal [5x08]

- I'll just have a drip coffee.
Please leave room for milk.
- Okay. Sure.

- You don't want anything?
- No, thank you. I've already had a coffee.

- One's quite enough.
- To be honest,
I don't give a crap about interest rates.

If he didn't get the loan, he's going into
bankruptcy anyway. The investor's got money.

Let him go cry on the shoulder
of his trophy wife. Screw him.

Yeah. Private conversation, Snoopy.

- Mrs. Snoopy.
- [Barista] Can I help you?

Yes. I'll have a two percent latte
and a blueberry muffin, please.

[Man] And so what do they want
from me, Mike? Six points?

- Really? That's fair?
- Thank you.

- Then you're out of your mind.
- Oh, I apologize! [Lips Popping]

You apologize? [Lips Popping] How about you
look where you're going? That might help.

How about you demonstrate
a modicum of courtesy?

That's a nice accent.
What is that? French?

- Poop-head.
- Come on, Jerry.

Sorry.
Some demento and his nurse.

[Distorted Voice]

[Distorted Voice]

[Announcer]
He winds up for the pitch.

Jerry!

Sorry.
[Lips Popping]

[Patrons Chattering]

Yes! Yes!

Yes!

Yes, yes!

Any other takers?

Uh-huh, uh-huh
Yeah, yeah

- [Funk]
- [Man Vocalizing]

[Man]
Uh-huh

- All right
- Boom.

Come on

[Lips Pop]

Come on
All right

Well, yeah

Well, yeah

Outlaw

- You don't like it?
- [Laughs] I'm not saying it's a bad look, but-

Gerry Spence dresses like this all the time.
And he wins almost all his cases.

So do you.
And Gerry Spence is a country lawyer.

He tries his cases in Wyoming and-
Are those guns loaded?

Yeah. Paintball.

Denny, it's good to have
a Gerry Spence.

But we certainly don't need two.
Plus, we need a Denny Crane.

Mr. Shore?

Yes?

My name is Kim Wang Shu.
I need a lawyer.

Let me guess. They want to take back
your gold medal but you really are 16?

I don't have a gold medal.
And I'm only 15.

- How can I help you, Miss Shu?
- I'm pregnant.

I can't have an abortion
without parental consent.

My father's dead and my mother
won't give it to me.

I need something called a judicial bypass.
And for that, I need a lawyer.

- Well-
- Hold on.

Alan, I don't talk about this much,
but I'm an icon.

Yes.
You and Gerry Spence both.

And icons, well-

I like to pretend...

that everything I say and do
is on television for the whole world to see.

It's just a little game
I play with myself.

- And-
- And who's gonna watch a show about abortion?

- It's not fun.
- Well, Denny, you and I can make it fun.

- I don't think so.
- Try to look at it as a challenge.

Consider it your Emmy episode.

- Well, yeah. But then there's the other thing.
- Which is?

Well, look at her, you know?
Sweet, cute, little kid.

If we help her get an abortion,
she's gonna burn in hell forever and ever.

We'll represent you.

[Sighs]
I can hear them changing the channel.

- What are you looking at?
- Hey, don't start with me, Mac.

I just got finished capping one guy.
And there's two things you should know.

It was fun, and the day's
just getting started!

[Purrs]

[Lips Popping]

I've posted bond.
Arraignment's in half an hour.

Let's go.

Is there a particular reason
your mother opposes the abortion?

- Oh, please.
- Besides it not being fun.

Shejust doesn't believe in abortion.

She's very pro-life.

When I was a kid,
we'd just go down to Mexico.

God doesn't care what happens
in Mexico since it's already a kind of pre-hell.

Which is why they want to come
up here... illegally.

- What?
- Okay.

Obviously, it's in our best interest
to getjust the rightjudge.

What about the baby's best interest?
Does that matter?

- Don't shove me!
- You listen to me right now.

- If you're gonna spew your politics all over-
- Politics? A baby is politics?

Denny, I respect your position on the issue.
You need to respect the client's.

- No, I don't. She's a kid.
- Nevertheless, she has the right to choose.

Right? What about her responsibility?
What about the baby's right?

- The fetus doesn't have a legal right-
- Fetus.

Does that make it sound less human?
Does that make it easier?

By calling it a procedure instead
of an abortion? Or what it really is-

Mr. Crane?
No disrespect.

But you're fired.

I told you it wouldn't be fun.

He beat a man up? Him?

What's so surprising about that?
I beat people up.

Jerry. Your Honor, it was an altercation.
Two people were fighting.

- After he committed the initiating assault.
- He threw a muffin.

He provoked the fight and broke a man's nose.
Many witnesses saw it unfold.

- Him?
- Jerry.

- It's an aggravated assault, Judge.
- With baked goods?

With a fist.
It's a he said/he said, Judge. A one-day case.

- Let's just get it over with.
- We can't be serious. It was simply a dispute-

- The defense stands ready for trial.
- Jerry.

- Make my day!
- Jerry!

- I want my day in court!
- Fine. 10:00 tomorrow.

Adjourned.

- What are you doing?
- And I'm representing myself.

- Don't be ridiculous.
- I am. You can second chair if you want.

But I'm defending myself.
It's what I did in that coffee shop...

and it's what I'll do here.

- For you.
- What's this?

Subpoena. You're a witness
for the prosecution.

Judge Peyton? Do you know where
she stands on abortion?

She's a woman.

Alan, many women are pro-life.
This doesn't split along gender lines.

She should be
a goodjudge for this.

- Why do you need me-
- Because I want a woman at the table.

I don't know if I'm your woman.

- [Knocking]
- Mr. Shore?

Yes?

My name is Ming Wang Shu.
I believe you're representing my daughter.

I am. Please.

- And this is Shirley Schmidt.
- Hello.

Hello.

If I may, I would ask you to respect...

that this is a family matter.

I do respect that, Mrs. Shu.

But like it or not,
at your daughter's instigation...

this has now become
a legal matter as well.

She's a child.

Legally, your daughter
has a right to terminate this pregnancy.

With parental consent,
which I am withholding.

Or she can obtain a judicial bypass.
They are almost always granted.

Have you ever had a child
of yours terminated, Mr. Shore?

I suspect if you have,
it haunts you.

Particularly if you participated
in that decision.

Mrs. Shu, this is not about me.

And I must respectfully say
it's not about you.

She's my daughter.
I know her. You do not.

And I know that
if she makes this decision...

she'll never get over it.

You need to defer
to her mother on this.

- Jerry.
- Carl.

- You mind getting down?
- Certainly.

Katie brought me up to speed.

Sounds like you got
a little emotional.

You know, a conviction for aggravated assault
is more than just an inconvenience, Jerry.

It could affect your bar status.
Also run the risk of serving time.

Jerry, look at me.

Let me defend you.

No.

First he collides with me in line.

I'm not sure it wasn't intentional.

Then he throws out some hollow apology.
You know, like, "Sorry."

And while I'm ordering my coffee...

I get hit with a muffin
right in my face.

I approach him to say,
"What's up with that?"

And he hauls off and slugs me.

Knocks me out.

Do you really believe
I collided with you on purpose, sir?

Hey, I wouldn't know.
You're clearly a vicious person.

- Move to strike.
- Sorry. You stepped into that.

Did you not refer to me
as a "demento"?

No, I did not.

Liar.
[Lips Pop]

See? He was making
funny sounds at me like that.

You didn't say to the person
you were speaking to on the phone...

that I was a demento out
with my nurse?

- No, I did not.
- Liar!

- Mr. Espenson!
- Did you not come to attack me
after I threw the muffin?

I was angry, but I wasn't
going to attack you.

Liar, liar!
[Lips Popping]

Hey, you can try and make me out
to be the bad guy, but I am not violent.

I've never been arrested,
like you have.

I am a law-abiding person who was simply
looking to buy a cup of coffee.

And look at me now!
My nose is broken!

You all set?

Kim's by the elevator waiting.

- Sit.
- What's wrong?

Alan, this- this does
feel like a family matter.

Shirley, you realize Massachusetts...

has one of the more
restrictive policies on abortion.

In this state, girls need
attorneys more than-

Is everything a case with you?

- Well-
- Is that how it works?

As soon as a client walks in,
you start preparing your closing argument?

- That's not fair.
- Fair? [Chuckles]

You've never been a parent.
I am one.

And an attorney
running interference...

with a parental/ child relationship
hardly feels fair.

If it were my daughter
and a lawyer...

I'd want to throttle him.

And I can also tell you
from personal experience...

anyone who has an abortion,
you never get over it.

Trust me.
No matter how pro-choice.

Are you saying that underage
girls should be forced...

to carry a baby to term
if the parent so orders, Mrs. Schmidt?

No. I'm not saying that.

Then perhaps all you can really do here
is advise me of my legal rights...

and represent
those rights in court.

Kim, whatever choice you make here
will follow you the rest of your life.

I came to this country
three years ago for two reasons:

To be with my mother...

and to become a citizen in a country
that prioritizes individual freedoms.

My understanding is that attorneys are in
the business of safeguarding those freedoms.

Mr. Hellman was carrying on a rather loud
and abrasive conversation on his cell phone.

We turned to look at him
while in line.

And he then assaulted us verbally.

Referring to us as
Mr. And Mrs. Snoopy, I believe.

- Then what happened?
- Then afterJerry placed his order...

he turned and inadvertently collided
with Mr. Hellman.

Then Mr. Hellman reacted
in a threatening and discourteous manner.

Then Jerry has some verbal tics.

Mr. Hellman proceeded
to ridicule him for that.

And as we were heading off,
he did refer toJerry as a "demento."

- You're a close friend of Mr. Espenson.
- I am.

In fact, you're testifying today
only under subpoena.

- That's correct.
- But you appreciate
your obligation to tell the truth.

- I do.
- What happened next, Miss Lloyd?

Well, we proceeded to go
and wait forJerry's order.

He was becoming increasingly upset over
Mr. Hellman's discourteous remarks.

And then he tossed
a blueberry muffin at him.

- Tossed it or threw it?
- Threw it.

- Threw it quite hard?
- It was only a muffin.

- And then what happened?
- Mr. Hellman charged atJerry.

Both appeared to throw punches
simultaneously. Jerry's fist arrived first.

- Mr. Hellman was rendered unconscious.
- And then what?

- That's pretty much it.
- Really?

What did Mr. Espenson do
after he knocked Mr. Hellman out?

Did he go to his aid?

No.

What did he do?

He danced.

- He danced?
- [Katie] Yes.

What kind of dance?

It was celebratory.

Did he yell anything?

- He yelled, "Yes, yes."
- Anything else?

He inquired as to whether
there were any other takers.

Meaning did anyone else
want to fight him?

I suppose.

Anything else?

He sang.

He seemed to enjoy
the whole thing?

He did.

I hardly think she was deliberately
trying to get you convicted.

- Yes, she was! I heard it!
- Jerry, you never should have represented yourself.

- I mean, you never-
- Fine! Take her side!

- I'm not taking her side.
- Why am I not surprised? Yes, you are!

Stop yelling at me. Hey!

- He's losing?
- It seems so.

Um-

Alan, if you don't mind...

I'm... going to withdraw
from this case.

I do mind. Why?

I'm not comfortable arguing-

I'm going to just pass on this case.

Shirley, how do you think the judge
will interpret you pulling out all of a sudden?

- We haven't even gone to court yet.
- I need a woman at the table!

- Get another one!
- I want you!

- You don't have-
- You have credibility!

- What's your problem, Shirley?
- I told you my problem. I'm not comfortable.

Are you comfortable with the government
legislating abortion?

- Check that. Outlawing it?
Because that's the next step.
- Oh, please.

The Supreme Court already has the votes.
Stevens is 88 years old. Once he goes-

- This is not about politics, Alan-
- Of course it is!

No, it is not!

When did you have
your last abortion?

Until you know everything that goes with it,
don't you dare lecture me or anybody-

I know what goes with it. Obviously,
I haven't experienced the physical part...

but I know the overwhelming emotion
that goes with it.

I know the sense of loss, I know
the doubt, the guilt! So please, don't-

Shirley, did it ever occur to you that one
of the reasons I wanted you on this case...

is precisely bec-

- Maybe we should both get out.
- No, we shouldn't.

We're lawyers here first.

Ayoung girl
has come to us for help...

to fight for a legal right
that we both happen to believe in!

Shirley, we separate ourselves from our emotions
all the time. It's what we do.

It's what we have to do here.

[Man]
Come gather round, people

Wherever you roam

And admit that the waters
around you have grown

And accept it that soon

You'll be drenched
to the bone

If your time to you
is worth saving

Then you better start swimming

Or you'll sink like a stone

For the times
they are a-changin'

- What?
- How's the case going?

[Groans]
Surprisingly difficult, you'll be happy to know.

- Something's happening.
- What do you mean?

I mean, it's getting close, Denny.

I can just feel Roe v. Wade
being chipped away at.

This parental consent law.
Thejudicial bypass hoops.

The wall's coming down.
I can feel it.

May I say something,
friend to friend?

Uh-oh.

You pro-choice people,
you need Roe versus Wade.

You're desperate for it.

Not because you're sure of your opinion,
but because you're not.

You need to cling to that
ruling as moral validation for a position...

you're not entirely comfortable
with deep down.

[Man]
Come, senators, congressmen

Please heed the call

Don't stand in the doorway

Don't block up the hall

For he that gets hurt

Will be the one who has stalled

There's a battle outside
and it's raging

It'll soon shake your windows

And rattle your walls

For the times
they are a-changin'

I don't know exactly what he plans to do,
but it's not going well at all.

- Does he plan to testify?
- He has to. Otherwise-

Throw me under the bus, why don't you,
and then back up over me.

- I did not throw you under a bus.
- Oh, you most certainly did.

Ow! Hey!

- He asked me questions! I was under oath!
- What am I supposed to do now?

Thanks a lot!

Howdy, partner.

- Hey! What did I do?
- Ow!

How dare you attack me
like that!

How dare you!
I thought we were friends!

- I should've committed perjury?
- You didn't have to relish it!

- I did not relish it!
- Yes, you did. There was judgment in it, Katie.

You have been throwing out
judgment from the start.

- Instead of having my back or supporting-
- Jerry, you went bonkers!

You launched a muffin,
knocked a man unconscious...

challenged the rest of the cafe
to a fight, and then did a dance!

It was grotesque! If anything,
I've underplayed my dismay.

What if you hadn't landed the first blow?
MaybeJoe Bob might have turned on me.

You might have put me in danger.
How about taking a little responsibility?

- How about an apology?
- Poop-head!

- Poop-head yourself!
- Let me tell you, hotcakes.

- If you can't stand the heat-
- I can take the heat just fine!

And do not ever
call me "hotcakes"!

Here's my problem.
On the one hand, you're telling me...

she just had an impulsive lapse
of judgment four months ago.

And yet, you are maintaining
that she has the maturity...

to make one of the most important
and far-reaching decisions...

that any person
could be called upon-

Judge, that's how it works with abortion.
Let's not kid ourselves.

Let's not pretend
you know better than her mother.
The impact this will have for the-

I'm considering the impact
of a teenager having to raise a child-

She doesn't have to raise it.
There's adoption.

The law gives her the right
to terminate this pregnancy.

Only with parental consent, which
she does not have. The bypass is therefore-

Come on. Let's at least wait
till the Supreme Court repudiates Roe v. Wade.

- Why rob them of all their fun?
- Mr. Shore-

Your Honor, this bypass
requirement is unreasonable.

Perhaps even unconstitutional,
as is the requirement of parental consent.

The reality is most kids
won't tell their parents.

Many will resort to unsafe methods.
Somejust secretly have the child.

- Mr. Shore-
- And if we're really going
to exalt human life here...

it should be pointed out
that death associated with childbirth...

is 10 times as high
as that associated with abortion.

You're talking about the mother.

The death rate of
the unborn child is 100%.

- A fetus is not-
- Hey. Hey, I am not going there.

Like you say, Mr. Shore, let us not
step on the Supreme Court's moment.

All I care about today is the maturity
and the best interests of Kim.

May I be heard on that,
Your Honor?

Please.

This is a young lady who...

is in love with a boy one day,
and then over him the next.

Last week, she was going
to be a marine biologist.

And as of this morning,
she planned to invent software games.

She's only at the beginning of discovering
who she is. Like any teenager-

But that process could be nipped
in the bud if she becomes a teenage mother.

I know the values she was raised with.
I know her values.

And I feel that she will
evolve to be a person...

who is very much pro-life.

And this decision might
emotionally devastate her.

You do not know her.

- I do.
- May I respond, Your Honor?

Okay.

I know I'm just a kid.

I had unprotected sex. What better example
is there of immaturity or recklessness.

But I also know my family
is poor.

I will likely
have to go on welfare...

like nearly 80% of teen mothers
are forced to do.

I will not be able
to continue my education.

I will not be able to provide for my child,
give her a good education.

I know the odds facing me.

I know the odds facing this child
should I carry her to term.

And I believe terminating this pregnancy
is in my best interest.

This is very difficult.

You do strike me as a conscientious
and mature young woman.

And yet I find the mothers
of 15-year-olds...

typically know those 15-year-olds better
than those children know themselves.

I'm gonna take time to think about this.
We will adjourn until 2:00.

- Mom, please.
- You need to listen to me, Kim. Not him. Not him!

Mrs. Shu, as odd as it sounds,
I'll ask you not to talk about this to my client.

Why don't you talk to her, Mr. Shore?
You think you know what's going on?

You have no idea.

My suggestion would be
to let Carl step in.

Let him mitigate
some of the damage.

- It's a little too late.
- He could certainly help you with your testimony.

I'm gonna testify in the narrative.
It'll double as my closing.

- I think I can be more compelling that way.
- "More compelling"?

That would suggest you've been the least
bit compelling so far, which you haven't.

I don't mean to come
in here driving a bus.

Jerry, you know I'm on your side.

If you're to absolve yourself...

you cannot simply get up there
and say the man had it coming.

There are disagreements,
disputes, altercations every day.

Adults respond as adults.

They don't hurl pastries.
They do not punch.

And they most certainly do not engage
in victory war dances over fallen bodies.

I think you have to examine
where your behavior came from...

and make the jury
want to excuse...

your rather inexcusable actions.

It's not that I don't think
it's her right. I do.

And God knows she seems smart enough
to make the decision. But-

But?

But as someone
who's exercised that right...

this girl just strikes me
as too struggle-free.

- You say she was raised in China?
- Until three years ago. Why?

- And the baby's female?
- Don't be ridiculous.

Shirley, female infanticide in China's
been going on for a thousand years.

- Well, in China, yes.
- Also here.

I don't believe it.

- In the United States?
- I can show you the studies.

Since China's one-child-per-family policy
was introduced in 1980...

sex selection spiked.

They want boys.

Ultrasounds, not a good thing
for female Chinese babies.

He started the altercation
by throwing the muffin.

He ended it with a vicious punch...

shattering the victim's nose,
knocking him unconscious.

And instead of showing
any concern or contrition, he danced.

Did a littlejig.
Sang a song.

And said to the bystanders,
"Who's next?"

Violent, unrepentant, criminal.

That's the only way to describe
the conduct of the defendant.

The legal definition
would be aggravated assault.

I have various emotional deficits.

Some of which are consistent
with Asperger's syndrome.

Others simply reflective of
my lack of social development.

Even in my late 40s,
I am often childlike.

All my life, I have been
picked on for being... weird.

[Lips Popping]

The thing about being bullied...

it stays with you.

I certainly don't mean
I think about it every day.

But it's there.

And when picked on now today,
as I was by Mr. Hellman...

it wasn'tjust his actions that were
causing me to boil up and react...

but the actions of many,
over many, many years...

because it never goes away.

Most victims cower, run away.

I always did.
I probably would have here...

except this time the abuse happened
in front of somebody I'm-

well-

So I threw a muffin.

A small gesture, but for me-

Then suddenly,
Mr. Hellman came charging.

And I had to defend myself.

Something I'd never done.
Something I thought myself incapable of doing.

And I squeezed my hand
into a fist...

and I threw a punch.

It's a wonder I hit him.
I had my eyes closed.

And by some miracle,
the bully went down.

For the first time
in my picked-on...

ridiculed, taunted...

laughed-at life...

I had stood up for myself.

And it was joyous.

It was a feeling that-

Yes, I sang and I danced and
I challenged everybody else, quickly...

before they tumbled to
the truth that I was afraid.

I, um-

I certainly regret the celebrating.

I wish I could take that back.

But I will never
take back that punch.

It was a punch that had been
coming for over 40 years.

- Shirley, we're due back.
- Come in for a second.

Sit, Kim.

Your mother told Alan in court...

that he had no idea
what was really going on here.

What did she mean by that?

I don't know.

She was probably just being
a little irrational.

Mothers are like that.

She didn't strike me that way.

Why are you having this abortion, Kim?

I think I've been clear on that.

Clear, yes.
Truthful, I wonder.

Shirley, what's going on?

You refer to the baby as "she."
It's a girl?

I don't know. I was just saying "she" instead
of"he" or "it." Does it matter?

You tell me.

Shirley, unless it's a Monday crossword,
I'm lousy at puzzles.

Kim's culture has a preference
for male offspring.

What your mother knows
but isn't telling us, at least not directly...

is you're aborting this baby
because it's a girl.

Aren't you, Kim?

I asked you a question.

The reason I want to terminate
this pregnancy has no legal relevance.

I suspect if the clinic learns that this
is about sex selection, that they'll-

It's not.

I'm a teenager.
I'm simply unfit to be a mother.

My personal reasons
are none of your business.

We're gonna be late.

[Judge Peyton]
Mrs. Shu, admittedly...

I cannot possibly know your daughter
as well as you do.

But as I said...

I cannot help but be impressed
by her apparent clarity on this.

And as a judge, as a woman...

I simply cannot impose upon her
the duty to carry through-

- Your Honor-
- Shirley.

In addition to being Kim's advocate,
I am also...

well, a woman.

Thank you, Ms. Schmidt.
I suspected, but one can never be too sure.

It is my opinion that my client seeks
to terminate this pregnancy...

because the child
she is carrying is female.

- That isn't true.
- Is it true, Mrs. Shu?

- As a matter of public policy-
- This is not your call!

Abortion laws were intended to
liberate women, not eradicate them.

Ms. Schmidt,
I think you're out of line.

Your Honor, sex selection,
at least for this purpose...

it should shock
the sensibility of this court.

This woman is fired
as my attorney.

Kim, I'm going to say something that
perhaps only a mother should get to say.

Sit down and be quiet.

In India, almost half
a million female fetuses...

are aborted every year because
the gender is considered inferior.

In China, it's become epidemic.

And according to
our own census polls...

U.S. -born children
of Chinese parents tend to be male.

It's female infanticide.
It is sexism.

It is vile.
And I am not going to be part of it.

I'm not going to stay silent
while we let the abortion license...

be exploited to accomplish
the holocaust of women.

If that gets me disbarred
for betraying a client...

or revealing a privilege...

so be it.

And what do you propose we do,
Ms. Schmidt?

That we add to our current abortion law
the right of the government...

to investigate why a woman
chooses to terminate her pregnancy?

You really want to
go down that road?

Subject pregnant teens to
interrogation and discovery?

I admire your moral instinct here...

but it is logistically unenforceable.

I am convinced that the minor
is mature enough to make the decision...

and the bypass is granted.

Unbelievable.

- That sounds promising.
- Not necessarily.

- Alan told me he was bullied as a kid.
- The judge?

- By his mother.
- Mr. Espenson, please rise.

Mr. Foreman, the jury has reached
a unanimous verdict?

- We have, Your Honor.
- What say you?

In the matter of the
Commonwealth versus Jerry Espenson...

on the charge of aggravated assault...

we, thejury,
find the defendant, Jerry Espenson...

not guilty.

[Judge Brown] Ladies and gentlemen
of thejury, thank you for your service.

- Adjourned.
- Wow.

- Well, a little dance
would certainly be in order now.
- I think I'll pass on that.

Thank you, Katie.
If I hadn't taken your little lecture to heart...

I might not
have closed that way.

- Thank you.
- How about you let me take you
to dinner to celebrate?

That I accept.

Lesson to you, bub.
Tell a friend.

[Whispers]
Not necessary.