All language subtitles for Boston Legal [5x05]

Previously on Boston Legal.

You think you'll win.
$50,000 says you won't.

- I'm not going to bet you.
- You know you'll lose.

- I won't lose.
- $50,000.

- He's out of control.
- Your industry is out of control!

You've bitten off more than
you can chew this time, my friend.

- I don't swallow. I just chew up and spit out.
- We'll see.

I know exactly how big
and powerful you are, Mr. Mathis.

It might do you
some good to check me out.

- You're losing.
- [Chuckles] I'm not losing.

Oh, yes, you're losing.

- Double it?
- Fine.

Is it not red?

- They're always red in the morning.
- See?

You stay out of this.
I know salmonella when I've got it.

Excuse me.

Uh, my name's Jason Canfield.
I'm looking for Mr. Poole.

Ah, well, Mr. Poole is not, uh, here at the moment-
or there, for that matter. May I help you?

Well, I was just passing by
your building and saw the sign...

and I need a lawyer, so-

- How about Crane?
- [Carl] Uh, Mr. Crane is fun.

You can always talk about him
when he's in the room, which is nice...

but I don't think
he's your man either.

So that leaves Schmidt.

I'm Schmidt.
Let's go to my office.

Why wouldn't he ask for me?
Am I not the star of this show?

You see your name up there?
This is not about how good you are.

- It's not?
- It's all about credit.

That's what's important in life.

- Credit?
- And money.

I thought it was all about getting the girl.
Tell me it's values, Carl.

- It's about getting the girl, right?
- Money.

- Sex.
- Money.

- Sex.
- You call it.

Maybe it's money and sex.

- They go together.
- One begets the other.

See? We're not fighting.
We're in sync.

I can't be sure, but I think Carl
wants to be in sync too.

[Grunts]

- [Funk]
- [Man Vocalizing]

[Man]
Uh-huh

- All right
- Boom.

Come on

[Lips Pop]

Come on
All right

Well, yeah

Well, yeah

Outlaw

- Was he killed in Iraq?
- No. No.

They patched him up okay there.
Brought him back.

He died in a hospital here.

The doctor killed him.
But I know for a fact...

that there was malpractice,
because he admitted it.

Mr. Canfield, I've tried a number of
medical malpractice cases in my time.

I've yet to run across a doctor
who admitted his or her wrongdoing.

But this one did.

But I can't sue because it happened
in a military hospital.

Something called the Feres doctrine.
You heard of that?

Yes. It- It basically insulates
military hospitals and their staffs...

from lawsuits when the victims
are on active duty.

My brother's not on active duty
anymore, Ms. Schmidt.

He's dead.

I'm afraid the doctrine
would still apply.

So there's-
there's nothing I can do?

Nothing?

Well-

- But the law is clear. Soldiers are-
- Alan, l- I know.

It's completely unwinnable.
It doesn't even make sense to try.

Which is why I've come to you.

I've so missed watching
the brave knight fight the windmill.

Shirley, this lawsuit is barred. There's
a Supreme Court case directly on point...

and it's not like you to want to waste
the firm's money.

What's going on?

What's going on is
when a man comes in off the street...

whose only brother has been
wrongfully killed...

and asks you for your help...

you help.

It's that simple.
You help.

Would it be the Pentagon then?

Well, it- it might.

Are you close, you and your sister?

Well, mainly
she'd throw rocks at me.

- Got it.
- She's a bit overbearing and-

and extremely punctual.
She should be here any-

Hi.

Hi.

What are you doing on the desk?
Joy Espenson.

Get down.
Are you his girlfriend?

- No, I just-
- [Thuds]

Just what?
It's purely sexual?

Joy!

This is Katie Lloyd,
my colleague, a lawyer.

- You apologize this instant.
- Okay.

I'm here about your nephew Henry.
I have concerns.

- I need your help.
- What concerns?

He's 15, going through puberty.
He's starting to get an acute interest in sex.

- Isn't that natural?
- And he may be dating his sister.

- What?
- You heard me.

- He's an only child.
- Well, he is or he isn't. We don't know.

He was conceived by
an anonymous sperm donor.

I have an excellent sex life...

so long as men don't actually
have to get in the bedroom with me.

Anyway, turns out Fiona-
that's the girlfriend- Fiona-

she was conceived
by an anonymous sperm donor.

[Chuckling]
It also turns out she's the spitting image of Henry.

I'm thinking what are the odds?
Are you with me?

To be honest, I'm still recovering
from the gripping apology.

I met Fiona's mother.
We both used the same agency.

My God, what if-
I mean, what if they fall in love...

and get married
and start reproducing?

Well, let's simply
take D.N.A. Swabs and-

D.N.A. Is not conclusive
with half siblings.

- Could you speak to him?
- Me?

He loves you.

Does she ever speak?

I must say when I first
read the complaint...

I couldn't decide whether
it was just laughable or nonsensical.

Now that I see who the attorney is,
it makes sense that it's laughable.

Wade and I go back.
He represents...

the pharmaceutical companies
that almost killed Denny.

How's that discovery going,
by the way?

It might be proceeding more quickly
if I wasn't sidetracked...

by a baseless, groundless,
frivolous claim.

He's a big fan of adjectives.

- Yes, I go back a little bit with Wade as well.
- Really?

The hospital has admitted committing gross
misconduct, which caused the victim's death.

But it's a military hospital.
They're immune.

Fine. We have the merits,
you have the legal technicalities.

Let's meet somewhere in the middle.

The technicality here
is the trump card.

The Supreme Court clearly held
you can't touch military hospitals.

- Game over.
- That ruling was 50 years ago. Things change.

"Things change"? Will that be your
legal argument? "Things change"?

I'll have you know Tony Scalia's
a personal friend of mine.

And trust me, he has no interest whatsoever
in what any Supreme Court before him has said.

- I don't know why I even
bother to come over here.
- Because you miss me, Wade.

Hug? We're a nation
of huggers, you know.

We will take this to court.

Fine. Do that.

Have a lovely day.

What? We don't really
want it to end quickly, do we?

He's fun.

I certainly understand
your concerns...

but we have contractual
agreements...

assuring absolute confidentiality
with all of our anonymous donors.

He could be dating his sister.

Joy.

I appreciate
your legal obligations...

but contracts can be vitiated
on grounds of public policy.

And your public policy
argument would be what?

- He's dating his sister.
- Joy.

- Are these your children?
- Yes, they are.

You have a beautiful family.

I can see they even look like you.

Henry Espenson wonders
whom he looks like.

Do you really think
it's fair, Mr. Chism...

that Henry's right to know
his genetic lineage...

was simply...
contracted away from him?

Mr. Espenson, without
assurance of anonymity...

many sperm donors wouldn't donate.

It's possible
Henry might not even exist.

And if we were to look
at the equation...

as best interests of the sperm donor,
I'd side with you.

But since courts typically opt
for best interests of the child-

And Henry would be
better off unborn?

Believe me, Mr. Espenson,
I've heard all the arguments.

And as I said, I do sympathize...

but there is no
wiggle room on this one.

We will not tell you
who the sperm donor is.

[Inhales Deeply]

[Exhales]

All right.
Listen, buddy.

I've tried to play nice here...

but if we have to
go to court, I'll do it.

I'll close your doors.
And then you can liquidate...

all your little test tubes
and turkey basters, your porn videos.

See this here?
It's a cigarette, bub.

And you can put it out like this.

Just snuff it in an ashtray.

Or I can stomp it
with my size 13 boats.

Either way, it's extinguished, pal.

Whether you want to be snuffed,
stomped or sucked dry!

We can do it nice, do it rough.

How's it gonna be?

Just-

- [Beeps]
- Yes. Security, please.

I am not being a traitor.
I'm supporting our troops.

- Why aren't you?
- Isn't this war costing us enough...

without the lawyers coming in?

- I don't want to get into this.
- I'm gonna tell you something,
and you need to hear this.

America is sick of Bush bashing.
Enough already.

- I'm not bashing Bush.
- You're suing the military.

Which is the Pentagon.
Which is the government. Which is Bush.

- It all comes down to Bush.
- Denny, this isn't about Bush.

This is about the troops
risking their lives in the-

- Oh, please.
- After the debacle at Walter Reed?

You must be kidding. These kids
are returning with catastrophic wounds.

Who the hell is looking out
for them, really? Not Congress.

It's one you can't win, Alan.

Says who?

Says the law.
Says the United States Supreme Court.

Says $50,000 dollars.

You know what?
I don't-

- You want to bet?
- Uh-huh.

If you insist on being an idiot...

at least let me profit from it.

Have you no shame whatsoever?

None.

- All proceeds go to the troops.
- Fine.

Fine.

Fine.

- There are reasons for this doctrine, Ms. Schmidt.
- Yes, Your Honor. Bad ones.

These kids fight our wars.

It's an undue burden to compensate them
when they're victims of medical malpractice?

The soldier in question
lost his life...

because of an avoidable,
negligent hospital screwup that-

It's not just the money.
Subjecting the military hospitals to discovery-

- Oh, come on.
- May I finish?

You didn't let me finish.
Your Honor, this goes beyond bad faith.

We send these kids to war,
they come back in need of medical care...

our doctors commit malpractice...

and we tell them,
whoops, you can't sue because of a-

a doctrine that selectively
singles out and punishes soldiers?

- I thought he was the speechmaker.
- No. Today you got me.

At least let me call
a witness or two.

My client lost his only brother.

Lfhe can't have his day in court...

at least give him an hour.

All right. I'll allow you
to call witnesses...

as to the legality of the doctrine.

Your Honor,
if she doesn't like the law...

her recourse is
the legislature, not a judge.

Well, thank you, Mr. Mathis.

I know what my role is.

- 2:00.
- [Gavel Raps]

[Crowd Murmuring]

You started sucking
on the cigarette?

I think I got some wood fibers
lodged in my lungs.

Wh-Wh-What happened?

Well, I just saw
my sister looking at me...

like I was this big loser,
the way she did growing up.

- Did she really throw rocks at you?
- Yes.

She thought if a hard object
came hurtling at my head...

I'd have to lift my hands
off my thighs to block it.

She does love me in her way,
but her way sucks.

It's a prop.

So what happens now with the case?

Well, we go to court.
But first we have to tell Henry.

- How can I help?
- You can't really. I need to do this.

- Can you?
- [Whimpers]

It's a prop.

Sometimes I think about retiring,
but what would I do?

I hate golf.
I don't much like to travel.

Do you ever think about retiring?

Not really.

As long as I can practice law
on my own terms.

And you're doing that?

[Chuckles] Still able to put your judgments
in question form, I see.

You know, Shirley, I'm still on
the Board of Bar Overseers.

There's a lot of talk
about your firm lately.

Is there?

Yes. Regarding its, uh...

slide.

I wasn't aware of any slide.

Two of your name partners
have lost their minds. And you?

What about me?

I've known you a long time.
May I be brutally honest?

Oh, please.

This Alan Shore is
dragging you into the sewer.

It's now his thumbprints all over
Crane, Poole & Schmidt, not yours.

He's unscrupulous.
He's disrespectful to our judiciary.

He's a bad seed.

And his reputation...

is running to your firm
as a whole- to you.

I see his influence in play
in- in this very case.

You've brought a baseless, frivolous
cause of action barred by law? Why?

Are you done?

Go ahead. Let me have it.
I'm a big boy.

I've practiced a long time...

worked with some of the highest-ranking
members of our profession-

I include you among them-

but I have yet to be associated...

with a more skilled,
more principled...

more noble attorney than Alan Shore.

If his is the reputation
I'm to be saddled with, I will take it.

And lunch is over.

If you want to reject my opinion,
that's your prerogative.

But here's a fact:
He is putting your firm in peril.

Believe me when I tell you that.

Jerry, thank you so much
for helping me tell him.

I'm just so afraid if he hears it from me,
he'll hate my guts forever.

- Hey, Mom. Hi, UncleJerry.
- [Jerry] Henry.

Hello. Welcome.

This could take a while.

It's so good to see you.

You too. This is my girlfriend, Fiona.
I brought her along, if that's okay.

We're kind of inseparable.

[Chuckling In Unison]

So, what's the big mystery? Did I inherit money
or something? Did my birth father keel?

Henry!

So, really.
What's the deal?

Let's... go into the conference room
where we all can sit.

Are you currently serving
in the military, sir?

No. I'm a retired captain for the U.S. Army.
Served until last year.

And what were your
primary responsibilities?

[Man] For the last nine years,
I was mainly in recruiting...

- getting young men to enlist.
- Did you retire on good terms?

Not so much.

- Could you tell us why?
- Well- [Clears Throat]

It was suggested I retire
after I was a little too outspoken...

on what I perceived
as a backdoor draft.

Um, when you say
"backdoor draft"-

I mean we target the poor.

No one likes to say it publicly,
but that's what we do.

- And you target low income-youth because-
- They needed the money.

Most kids don't want to go off
and fight wars if they can avoid it.

So we hone in on the kids
without options.

- The poor.
- The poor.

We set up our
recruitment stations...

in the poor neighborhood malls
and in the poor high schools.

I'm sorry. Can you at least tell me
the connection to this case?

Goes to fairness, Mr. Mathis.

We go after the lowest
economic demographic...

in our society to fight our wars.

These kids are risking their lives
out of financial duress.

- They have-
- I'm sorry, Ms. Schmidt.

This is an entirely different issue.

This witness is disallowed.

Your Honor, I would like you to understand
the context of this-

No. We're gonna stay on issue.

Now, if you've got a witness
who can talk about this case...

or the doctrine itself,
well, I'll listen.

Otherwise, this witness
is disallowed.

Now, who else do you have?

Yes. I would like to hear from the doctor
who treated my client's brother.

Defense stipulated
that he committed an avoidable error...

rising to the level of malpractice.

I'd like to hear from him
all the same since-

There's no point in hearing from
the doctor unless you're trying...

to manipulate me with
either horror or emotion...

neither of which informs us
of the legitimacy...

or the lawfulness
of the Feres doctrine.

Your Honor, certainly you're allowed
to be horrified by the facts in this case.

The doctor is disallowed.

In order to fully appreciate this doctrine
and its capricious application...

Your Honor needs to hear testi-

Ah, wait a minute.
You've wasted enough of my time already.

I'd like to hear summations from counsel
in this court tomorrow at 10:00 a.m.

And then I'll rule.

In the meantime,
I'd like to see counsel in my chambers.

Well-

It, um, uh, might be best
if this conversation were-

were private.

Mom, whatever it is,
I'm gonna tell Fiona.

She's my soul mate.

Okay.

Well...

the thing is, Henry-

Tell him.

Well, Henry, hello.
Welcome.

This is a little bit about
your birth father actually.

- Did he croak?
- No, no, no.

Well, we have no way of
knowing one way or another...

since we have no idea
who he even is.

- Fiona's a sperm donor baby too.
- It's one of the first things we bonded over.

Yes. In fact, you're notjust
sperm donor babies...

but you both come from
the same sperm bank actually.

Really?

Cool!

[Laughs]
You see? We're so much alike.

Uh, more alike than you might imagine.
It's possible...

you came from the same sperm donor.

[Chuckles]
What do you mean?

Well...

you may have...

um...

the same birth father.

The odds are against it,
of course...

but there's
a wee chance that-

[Exhales]
Fiona...

is...

your half sister.

It- It can't be.

L-I'm sure it isn't.
But... it might be.

How can we know...

for sure?

Well, that's the thing.

Uh, we can't.

We're trying, but so far...

we can't.

I have been informed...

that counsel has been
wagering on this case.

Is that true?

That is absolutely false.

Mr. Shore?

- What about you?
- Me?

I've been informed that you and Denny Crane
have a side bet for $50,000.

Is that true?

Well-

Alan.

Proceeds go to the troops.

I never bet on baseball.
And I bet we'd win here.

So it's not as if
I'm throwing anything.

But a senior partner in your firm.

Denny and I have these little
side bets all the time. It's not like...

that answer remotely helped me.

I lied about that, actually.
Denny and I don't bet all the time.

I never bet.

I just... lie.

My therapist recommends
that I lie to get past the...

gambling problem.

Well, I'm recommending you
for disbarment...

as soon as this case is through.

All right. Summation, 10::00 a.m.
Tomorrow.

You told the judge.

What?

About our bet.
You told the judge.

- I did no such thing.
- Well, he knows, Denny. How would he know?

- Don't ask me.
- You never said anything to anybody?

Well, l- l-
I might have mentioned it...

to the clerk in passing.

- I don't believe it.
- Calm down.

You sabotaged a case of this firm
so you could win a bet?

You sabotaged me!

- Keep your voice down.
- I will not keep my voice down.

You sold me out.
I'm up for disbarment now.

- You might be too.
- I'll make a few calls.

Denny, we wagered on a case.

Do you have any idea
how unethical that is?

Well, it's not like
we bet on baseball.

You did this to me-
to your best friend.

Winning a bet is-

My God.

- She looks mad.
- Of all the things you have done-

Never mind the illegality of it.
The insensitivity.

A soldier lost his life.

- Shirley-
- There is no excuse, Alan.

I wasn't about to offer any.
It was stupid. We never should have done it.

If I'd thought it would have any bearing
on the case, I never would-

Of course it has bearing.

The judge now takes our case
much less seriously because-

Which was obviously Denny's plan,
which was why he told the clerk.

- Oh, sure. Sell me out.
- You sold me out!

- You betrayed me!
- You both betrayed me.

And this firm and the client.

You sicken me, both of you.

[Door Opens, Closes]

- Maybe I shouldn't have told.
- Maybe?

You risked everything!

Our friendship, our trust,
our nights on the balcony.

You put a stupid bet before it all.

Y-You know what?
I don't care. I'm done. We're done.

Alan.

I can't even look at you.

[Door Closes]

So, this isn't any kind of
in vitro facility or-

No, Your Honor. It's simply a bank.
People buy and sell sperm.

And do people buy
and sell a lot of it, or...

has the weakened American dollar
taken its toll there as well?

Your Honor, I certainly hope
you're not finding humor in this.

The consequences here
are potentially dire.

Look. The odds of two people
from the same donor meeting are-

Not preposterous.
Many donors donate...

buckets of sperm over time.

In fact, with designer babies and genetic
engineering being the new must-have...

for wealthy families,
many prospective parents go looking...

for that athletic, good-looking man
with the Ivy League degree.

There are some donors who have sired
more offspring than Secretariat.

It's only a matter of time before two people
from the same seed hook up.

Crown Cryobank follows
the guidelines recommended by...

the American Society
for Reproductive Medicine...

to specifically guard against
the possibility of consanguinity.

But it can happen. Looking at these two kids,
you can see the possibility.

Your Honor, if I may?
We limit the number of live births per donor...

to 25 per population of 800,000.

But you have no means of
actually tracking that number.

There's no obligation
for the women to tell you...

the results of the purchased sperm
once it leaves the depot.

We have binding contracts
with our donors.

But if you talk to adopted children,
they will tell you there is a need-

even the ones raised by
loving adoptive families-

there is a fundamental...

perhaps even primal need to know...

who and where they came from.

And these contracts say, "No. Sorry.
Sperm donor's privacy counts more."

That's wrong.
Parents have always...

treated children like chattel,
like acquisitions, but this-

The U.K. Passed a law ending the practice
of donating sperm anonymously.

Fertility clinics started to dry up.

Some have no sperm at all.
Desperate parents lose out.

All right.
I think I know the arguments.

Yes, son?

I just want to say, Judge,
nobody ever consulted me.

Now if I want to know where I came from,
who my birth father is...

does cancer run in the family, are there any
other diseases I might be more likely to get...

do I have any brothers or sisters...

is there anybody else out there
who looks like me...

I don't get to know any of that...

'cause before I was born,
some people entered into a contract.

I'm sorry.

Go tell someone who's interested.
I'm working on my summation.

- Alan, l-
- Get out.

You don't do something like-

"Sorry" isn't good enough.

Alan.

I'm slipping.

What-What ever...

possessed me to-

I mean, I do crazy things,
but l-

I always know
what I'm doing, and-

Myjudgment on this was-

I know I'm slipping.

I'm so, so sorry.

For me to have done this to
the person I love most is-

What's happening to me?

Nothing's happening to you.

Yes, it is. I'm not sure.

Maybe I shouldn't practice anymore.

Look. Don't overreact.

I told the clerk of a sitting judge
we had a bet on the case.

If I'm going down,
l- I'm not taking you down with me.

It's time I quit.

If you quit work, Denny...

your brain will shrivel up to the size
of a small raisin, and you surely will die.

Have you been feeling
other symptoms lately?

Sometimes I feel a little foggy.

I don't seem to always get things.

- For example?
- Obama.

- Another example.
- The Patriots losing to the Giants.

You're covering.

The idea of not having you-

You will never not have me.

You said we were done.

I was angry, Denny.

I'll get by it.

Our friendship will survive
an act of poor judgment.

Really?

Really.

If you want to
call off the bet-

I have no interest in doing that.
I plan on winning.

Double it?

Done.

Don't tell.

I won't.

Thank you, Alan.

You forgive, I forget.
We make a good team.

Yes. We're a very...
good team.

[Door Closes]

[Clears Throat]
All right.

Look.

When I grew up,
it was relatively rare...

to meet a person who was adopted.

Today, adoption is commonplace...

as are multicultural families.

Genealogy is almost
considered irrelevant.

But it is relevant.
People do want to know their genetic history.

Whether it is for medical reasons,
orjust, well...

to feel complete,
as one adopted friend recently told me.

I agree with Mr. Espenson.

We cannot allow a contract to usurp
the autonomy of the child.

The current laws are anything but current,
and they need to be reexamined.

In the meantime, I am not
ordering the defendant...

to tell the plaintiff the identity
ofhis biological father.

But I am ordering you to tell him...

if he and his girlfriend
come from the same sperm donor.

You have my ruling.
We are adjourned.

- So what happens now?
- Well, we at least find out if you two are related.

How long will that take?

I would think we'd know today.

Good work, Jerry.
I'm very impressed.

[Lips Popping]

[Lips Pop]

[Lips Pop]

It isn'tjust the undue economic burden
on the government, Your Honor...

though that alone
would be crippling...

but to subject the military
hospitals to discovery?

That could result in the free trade
of military secrets.

It could compromise
military discipline.

Representative Duncan Hunter,
a member...

of the House Armed Services Committee
and a former fighter pilot-

consider what he said:
"The Feres doctrine represents...

"a reasonable approach
to ensuring that litigation...

"does not interfere
with the objectives...

and readiness of
our nation's military."

Now, and think of it.
Do we really want our military personnel...

bogged down in depositions
and motions...

while we're trying to fight a war?

And finally, Your Honor,
consider this.

Military hospitals tend to
deal with high volume...

and, as Mr. Shore noted,
many catastrophic wounds.

We want these kids
getting treatment.

The last thing we need...

is for doctors to be balking
out of fear of getting sued.

If you take away this immunity...

the reality is
you'll lose doctors...

and our kids won't get the medical
treatment they've earned and deserve.

Lawyers love to sue. It's what we do.
It's how we heat our pools.

But sometimes...

we have to put our country first.

And failing that,
how about you put our troops first?

It's surprising to have to
explain the rudiments...

of our legal system to opposing counsel,
but I am not suing anyone.

My client is suing because his brother,
a soldier, was killed by a military hospital.

By the way, there are no pools
being heated here.

I don't have one,
and as for my client...

he should be so lucky to have a house,
let alone a pool.

Although I'm sure he'd prefer
to have his brother.

Private Richard Canfield was in
the Fort Wayne military hospital...

getting basic follow-up treatment
for wounds sustained in Iraq-

wounds he was healing from nicely.

He began to have trouble
breathing...

due to an adverse reaction
to medicine he was mistakenly given.

The doctor then inserted
a breathing tube incorrectly...

and proceeded to pump air
into his stomach.

By the time they figured out
their mistake 15 minutes later...

Private Canfield
had severe brain damage.

Three days later, he died.

None of this is in dispute. Had this
same malpractice happened to me or you...

our estates would receive
million-dollar settlements.

But because Private Canfield
was a G.I., not a nickel.

Apparently, we can all
live with that.

This Feres doctrine...

is as unfair as it is
patently ludicrous.

There is no danger of
revealing military secrets.

Discovery would only go
to medical records.

And frankly, I am mystified as to how
this could possibly affect military discipline.

Would the troops
suddenly stop saluting...

or begin marching in crooked lines?

And as for the supposed burden on
the government, you've gotta be kidding me.

What about Private Canfield's
horrific ordeal?

Not to mention the obvious fact that
while our government will undoubtedly survive...

Private Canfield did not.

I would say to you, Your Honor,
these are our kids...

who are dying.

But it's not really our kids, is it?

Not for the most part.
It's the poor people's kids.

And the dirty little secret,
some might say windfall...

of our record poverty
and disparity of wealth...

is that we've got plenty of poor people,
with kids, to fight our wars.

- I'm sorry. But I'm offended by that.
- Are you? Really?

How about a Republican
presidential candidate...

who opposes educational
benefits for G.I. S...

so as not to encourage troops to leave
the military- keep their options limited.

Does that offend you? How about
all the war profiteering by the rich?

How about the fact that while an army sergeant
gets an annual salary of $ 70,000...

private security guards hired by Blackwater
and DynCorp get 400,000 to 500,000?

Does that offend you?
All kinds of wonderful...

lucrative deals can happen in war...

but for the G.I. S,
we've got the Feres doctrine...

which means when a G.I. Is
killed by hospital negligence...

or even deliberately
by a doctor, not a nickel.

How can this not shock
our national conscience?

The media gives it
little if any shrift.

Mr. Mathis clearly doesn't care. And me-
hell, I even placed a bet on the case.

How can it be
that we don't much care?

Maybe because it's not
our kids who are dying.

It's the poor people's.

Yes. Yes. That's fine.
I'll wait.

I'm on hold.

- They have the answer?
- It seems so.

It's going to be fine.

I read a study.

People are attracted to other people
who look like them.

It's not unusual for us
to resemble each other.

Yes. Thank you.

[Handset Settles In Cradle]

Well?

You have the same sperm donor.

I'm sorry.

This isn't fair.

I'm so sorry.

[Door Opens]

[Man]
All rise.

Be seated.

I'm allowing
the plaintiff's case to stand.

Your Honor, the precedent set
by the Feres doctrine-

The Feres doctrine is no longer
applicable in today's world.

- Well, in that case, the remedy is the legislature.
- I disagree, counselor.

This doctrine unfairly
victimizes the poor.

There are far more rich people
registered to vote than poor people.

This will never get fixed
by an electable legislature. Never.

- Your Honor-
- I'm allowing the case to stand.

- We are adjourned.
- [Gavel Raps]

Well-

What does this mean?

It means for now you still get to sue.
Hopefully we can settle it quickly.

Thank you.

I'll schedule a meeting with opposing counsel
and we'll see where it goes.

I'll let you know.

Shirley, I apologize again
for any embarrassment, but-

Okay.

[Siren Wailing In Distance]

[Denny]
She'll forgive us.

Sounds like she's
already halfway there.

What makes you say that?

Shirley has no trouble expressing
her displeasure.

But...

when she says nothing,
or walks away in silence...

it's like she's saying,
"I'm still angry...

but I'll forgive you."

Will you really forgive me?

I did already.

[Exhales]

I can't believe...

I actually said that to the clerk.

Promise me something.

When I do something crazy,
you'll tell me.

Okay.

Let's start with doubling the bet.

Oh. Right.

At least tell me it's going to
a good cause, like a hooker.

- It's going to the troops, remember?
- Oh, right.

Yes. I feel better now.

You okay, Denny?

Oh, yeah.

You really yelled at me.

I just lost my temper.

I'm over it.

You know what's long overdue?

You and me on a road trip.

A road trip.

Maybe we should go to Rome.

Or the balcony on the other side
of the building.

- Yeah, I've got it. A dude ranch.
- A dude ranch?

It's horses and- and sheep...

and fresh air and...

sheep.

Let's go west to the Wild West.

I don't really like horses.

How can you not like horses?

- Dude ranch?
- Just leave it to me. I'll make all the arrangements.

We'll have campfires
and marshmallows and tents and...

sheep.

Me and you and-

Fresh air would do us both good.

That is what we need.

Thank you.

For being-

Thank you.

I don't think
you're slipping, Denny.

I really don't.

Okay.

[Woman]
You stinker!