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00:00:34,960 --> 00:00:35,535
Neighbors?
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00:00:35,536 --> 00:00:37,955
I have an announcement for you.
3
00:00:37,955 --> 00:00:40,291
I have never seen
such a collection
4
00:00:40,291 --> 00:00:43,085
of dirty windows.
5
00:00:43,100 --> 00:00:46,020
Now, I wanna see all of you
out there on the fire escapes
6
00:00:46,047 --> 00:00:50,718
with your Mr. Clean bottles,
and let's snap it up!
7
00:00:50,718 --> 00:00:53,179
Murray, do you have to shout
like that every morning?
8
00:00:53,179 --> 00:00:55,389
- Clears my head.
- Say, Murray,
9
00:00:55,389 --> 00:00:57,641
were you planning maybe today
to look for a job?
10
00:00:57,641 --> 00:01:00,019
- To what?
- Look for a job, Murray.
11
00:01:00,019 --> 00:01:03,147
Shh, Murray.
12
00:01:03,147 --> 00:01:05,399
Murray, what'd you
get me down here for?
13
00:01:05,399 --> 00:01:07,818
- I mean, I--I just--
- Nick, what time is it?
14
00:01:07,818 --> 00:01:09,945
Well, it's about 7:20,
but, Murray, now I have to--
15
00:01:09,945 --> 00:01:12,156
Shh!
16
00:01:12,156 --> 00:01:13,699
Shh.
17
00:01:13,699 --> 00:01:15,326
Nick, in a moment,
you're going to see
18
00:01:15,326 --> 00:01:17,661
a horrible thing.
19
00:01:17,661 --> 00:01:19,622
What's that?
20
00:01:21,373 --> 00:01:23,334
People going to work.
21
00:04:10,668 --> 00:04:12,795
Gee, Murray, I hope it's not
gonna be a long visit
22
00:04:12,795 --> 00:04:14,004
with the junkman today,
I have something
23
00:04:14,004 --> 00:04:15,547
I have to discuss with you.
24
00:04:15,547 --> 00:04:18,467
Junkman?
Peruccio here is a dealer
25
00:04:18,467 --> 00:04:20,594
in obsolete structures.
26
00:04:20,594 --> 00:04:23,430
Uhh, you still
getting a buck for this?
27
00:04:23,430 --> 00:04:24,723
Half a buck.
28
00:04:24,723 --> 00:04:26,350
Peruccio...
29
00:04:26,350 --> 00:04:29,436
- Two bits?
- Deal.
30
00:04:29,436 --> 00:04:32,231
Oh, Murray, not another eagle.
31
00:04:32,231 --> 00:04:34,024
Nick.
32
00:04:34,024 --> 00:04:36,360
You can't have too many eagles.
33
00:04:37,903 --> 00:04:39,947
Hey, wait a minute.
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00:04:39,947 --> 00:04:42,825
Why did you follow me down here,
why aren't you in school today?
35
00:04:42,825 --> 00:04:44,535
Well, it's a holiday.
36
00:04:44,535 --> 00:04:47,329
Yeah, it's Irving R. Feldman's
birthday, like you said.
37
00:04:47,329 --> 00:04:49,748
No, Irving R. Feldman's birthday
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00:04:49,748 --> 00:04:52,376
is my own personal
national holiday.
39
00:04:52,376 --> 00:04:54,253
I did not open it up
for the public.
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00:04:54,253 --> 00:04:56,171
He is proprietor of perhaps
the most distinguished
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00:04:56,171 --> 00:04:58,132
kosher delicatessen
in our neighborhood,
42
00:04:58,132 --> 00:05:01,302
and, as such, I hold the day
of his birth in reverence.
43
00:05:01,302 --> 00:05:03,137
Well, you said you weren't
gonna look for work today,
44
00:05:03,137 --> 00:05:06,015
'cause it was
Irving R. Feldman's birthday,
45
00:05:06,015 --> 00:05:08,767
so, I figured
I'd celebrate too a little.
46
00:05:08,767 --> 00:05:11,562
Ah, don't kid me, Nick.
47
00:05:11,562 --> 00:05:14,148
I thought you liked
that damn genius school.
48
00:05:14,148 --> 00:05:15,983
Oh, I figured I'd better
stick with you today,
49
00:05:15,983 --> 00:05:17,693
something I gotta discuss.
50
00:05:17,693 --> 00:05:20,154
See, uhh...
51
00:05:20,154 --> 00:05:22,197
because it's this
special school for big brains,
52
00:05:22,197 --> 00:05:25,868
they watch you and take notes
and make reports,
53
00:05:25,868 --> 00:05:29,580
and they smile
at you a lot--Murray?
54
00:05:29,580 --> 00:05:32,791
Murray,
they're very nervous there.
55
00:05:32,791 --> 00:05:35,919
And there was this composition
I wrote in creative writing
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00:05:35,919 --> 00:05:38,797
about the advantages
of unemployment insurance.
57
00:05:38,797 --> 00:05:40,507
Why did you write about that?
58
00:05:40,507 --> 00:05:42,176
It's on my mind.
59
00:05:42,176 --> 00:05:44,511
And once they got my record out,
they started to notice
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00:05:44,511 --> 00:05:47,264
what they call
"significant data."
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00:05:47,264 --> 00:05:50,934
Turns out they've been keeping
this file on me for a long time.
62
00:05:50,934 --> 00:05:53,395
Checking with that
Child Welfare place,
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00:05:53,395 --> 00:05:55,439
same place you got
those letters from.
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00:05:55,439 --> 00:05:58,442
I never answer letters
from large organizations.
65
00:05:58,442 --> 00:05:59,860
Well, anyway,
when they come over there,
66
00:05:59,860 --> 00:06:01,403
I just thought we could--
67
00:06:01,403 --> 00:06:04,239
Wait a minute,
when who comes over where?
68
00:06:04,239 --> 00:06:06,700
Our apartment.
69
00:06:06,700 --> 00:06:08,660
This Child Welfare crowd,
they wanna take a look
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00:06:08,660 --> 00:06:10,204
at our environment there.
71
00:06:10,204 --> 00:06:12,664
Nick, why didn't you tell me
about this before?
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00:06:12,664 --> 00:06:13,791
Well, you know,
the past couple of nights
73
00:06:13,791 --> 00:06:15,542
we couldn't get together.
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00:06:15,542 --> 00:06:18,420
That was unavoidable, you know
when I have a lot of work,
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00:06:18,420 --> 00:06:20,964
you stay up at Mrs. Meyer's.
76
00:06:20,964 --> 00:06:23,550
Murray, your work forgot
her gloves last night.
77
00:06:26,178 --> 00:06:28,013
Well, anyway,
for these Child Welfare guys,
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00:06:28,013 --> 00:06:30,516
I figure we better set up some
kind of a story this morning
79
00:06:30,516 --> 00:06:32,559
-before they get there.
- You know, you make it sound
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00:06:32,559 --> 00:06:34,770
like a vice raid.
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00:06:34,770 --> 00:06:36,188
Well, I mean, for one thing,
Murray, you don't even
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00:06:36,188 --> 00:06:38,357
-have a job right now.
- Hey.
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00:06:38,357 --> 00:06:41,068
Have you ever been to the top
of the Empire State Building?
84
00:06:41,068 --> 00:06:42,903
Four times with you
in November.
85
00:06:42,903 --> 00:06:44,780
Oh, really?
86
00:06:44,780 --> 00:06:46,782
Have you ever been
to the Statue of Liberty?
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00:06:46,782 --> 00:06:49,618
- No, Murray, I--
- Today is Irving R. Feldman's
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00:06:49,618 --> 00:06:53,122
birthday, we shall go to the top
of the Statue of Liberty,
89
00:06:53,122 --> 00:06:55,332
and watch
the Queen Elizabeth come in
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00:06:55,332 --> 00:06:58,335
full of all those tired,
poor, huddled masses
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00:06:58,335 --> 00:07:00,129
yearning to breathe free.
92
00:07:00,129 --> 00:07:01,964
Murray, will you listen to me,
we have to--
93
00:07:17,813 --> 00:07:20,566
Murray, couldn't I just read
you from The Times again,
94
00:07:20,566 --> 00:07:23,485
like last week, hm?
95
00:07:23,485 --> 00:07:26,697
Oh, okay,
read me from the paper.
96
00:07:32,369 --> 00:07:34,621
Hey, Murray,
this paper is three days old.
97
00:07:34,621 --> 00:07:36,123
So, what do you
want me to do, bury it?
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00:07:36,123 --> 00:07:37,249
Is it starting to rot
or something--come on,
99
00:07:37,249 --> 00:07:39,042
read me from the paper.
100
00:07:39,042 --> 00:07:41,795
Yeah, but most of these jobs,
somebody must've taken 'em.
101
00:07:41,795 --> 00:07:44,465
-I'll go get a newer paper.
- No, we do not need
102
00:07:44,465 --> 00:07:48,552
a newer paper--all the really
important jobs stay forever.
103
00:07:48,552 --> 00:07:51,889
Now, start on the first page
of help wanted, male,
104
00:07:51,889 --> 00:07:53,307
and read me from the paper.
105
00:07:53,307 --> 00:07:55,142
Okay.
106
00:07:55,142 --> 00:07:57,728
"Exec assist, ex oppty,
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00:07:57,728 --> 00:08:00,439
$90 to top sell."
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00:08:00,439 --> 00:08:01,940
What's that?
109
00:08:01,940 --> 00:08:04,735
"Executive assistant,
excellent opportunity."
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00:08:04,735 --> 00:08:07,070
Nothing. Keep reading.
111
00:08:09,323 --> 00:08:11,074
Hey, here's a perfect one.
112
00:08:11,074 --> 00:08:12,910
It says, "Writer wanted.
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00:08:12,910 --> 00:08:16,121
Writer-editor,
industrial periodicals,
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00:08:16,121 --> 00:08:17,873
to write handbooks,
reports, and promotion
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00:08:17,873 --> 00:08:19,666
on electronic equipment."
116
00:08:19,666 --> 00:08:22,920
What you got there, kid,
the want ads or the obituaries?
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00:08:22,920 --> 00:08:25,047
Ha-ha, okay, kid,
118
00:08:25,047 --> 00:08:26,965
read me some more want ads.
119
00:09:11,677 --> 00:09:14,471
You know, Murray, you don't
want a job is the whole thing.
120
00:09:14,471 --> 00:09:16,181
Would you just concentrate
on being a child,
121
00:09:16,181 --> 00:09:18,016
because I find your
imitation of an adult
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00:09:18,016 --> 00:09:19,434
hopelessly inadequate.
123
00:09:19,434 --> 00:09:21,270
Well, you wanna be
your own boss, Murray,
124
00:09:21,270 --> 00:09:23,730
but the trouble with that is
you don't pay yourself anything.
125
00:09:26,024 --> 00:09:27,776
You're not
paying yourself anything--
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00:09:27,776 --> 00:09:29,945
hey, that's a good line,
I gotta remember that.
127
00:09:29,945 --> 00:09:31,280
You ever consider
being the first
128
00:09:31,280 --> 00:09:33,115
12-year-old boy in space?
129
00:09:34,616 --> 00:09:37,119
Murray, I am upset.
130
00:09:37,119 --> 00:09:40,038
Now, for me as an actual child,
the way you live in this house
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00:09:40,038 --> 00:09:43,292
and we live is a dangerous thing
for my later life
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00:09:43,292 --> 00:09:45,586
when I become an actual person.
133
00:09:45,586 --> 00:09:48,630
Now, an unemployed person
like you are for so many months
134
00:09:48,630 --> 00:09:50,966
is bad for you
as the person involved,
135
00:09:50,966 --> 00:09:52,843
and it's definitely bad for me,
136
00:09:52,843 --> 00:09:54,428
who he lives with
in the same house
137
00:09:54,428 --> 00:09:57,889
where the rent isn't paid up
for months sometimes,
138
00:09:57,889 --> 00:10:00,892
and I wish
you'd get a job, Murray.
139
00:10:05,522 --> 00:10:07,482
Please.
140
00:10:12,696 --> 00:10:14,865
You're absolutely right.
141
00:10:27,127 --> 00:10:29,171
What's wrong, Murray?
142
00:10:30,797 --> 00:10:32,841
I don't know, Nick.
143
00:10:34,468 --> 00:10:36,470
Murray, are you all right?
144
00:10:42,267 --> 00:10:43,852
Hey!
145
00:10:43,852 --> 00:10:46,730
I enjoyed
the Statue of Liberty a lot.
146
00:10:46,730 --> 00:10:49,399
Yeah, it was great,
I'm glad we went.
147
00:10:52,486 --> 00:10:54,446
Hey, it is a great view,
isn't it?
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00:10:54,446 --> 00:10:57,157
Yeah.
149
00:10:57,157 --> 00:11:00,285
Otto, Otto.
150
00:11:00,285 --> 00:11:02,204
We have reached at last
the mainland,
151
00:11:02,204 --> 00:11:06,375
and we must now get
the rocket plans from agent X22.
152
00:11:06,375 --> 00:11:09,961
Shh, but, you fool,
he is being observed.
153
00:11:09,961 --> 00:11:12,506
It is essential
we are not observed.
154
00:11:12,506 --> 00:11:15,592
Hey, if you're really
secret spy X12--
155
00:11:15,592 --> 00:11:17,594
- I wouldn't tell you.
- And why not?
156
00:11:17,594 --> 00:11:20,889
Because it's a secret, you fool.
157
00:11:39,408 --> 00:11:41,868
Hey, spy, listen,
I'll tell you something.
158
00:11:41,868 --> 00:11:43,829
You know those poison capsules
they give us to take
159
00:11:43,829 --> 00:11:46,289
-when we get captured?
- Yeah.
160
00:11:46,289 --> 00:11:48,458
Well, they got a new way
of giving them to us now, Otto.
161
00:11:48,458 --> 00:11:49,668
- What's that?
- They're putting 'em
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00:11:49,668 --> 00:11:50,711
in the Cracker Jacks.
163
00:11:50,711 --> 00:11:53,046
That's--that's crazy,
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00:11:53,046 --> 00:11:54,715
that's a silly thing,
what you said.
165
00:11:54,715 --> 00:11:58,135
How silly, how silly
how such a silly thing.
166
00:11:58,135 --> 00:12:00,804
They are putting them in the--
167
00:12:00,804 --> 00:12:04,516
What is that?
168
00:12:04,516 --> 00:12:06,393
It's ridiculous.
169
00:12:06,393 --> 00:12:08,895
Let them put the prize
in the package!
170
00:12:08,895 --> 00:12:11,064
But this is...
171
00:12:12,899 --> 00:12:15,318
Excuse me, are you Mr. Burns?
172
00:12:15,318 --> 00:12:16,778
Only for
a couple more seconds, buddy,
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00:12:16,778 --> 00:12:18,488
They poisoned my Cracker Jacks.
174
00:12:19,990 --> 00:12:21,700
Yes, I see.
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00:12:21,700 --> 00:12:25,120
You are Murray N. Burns?
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00:12:25,120 --> 00:12:27,497
Oh, excuse me, how are ya?
177
00:12:27,497 --> 00:12:28,707
- How do you do, Mr. Burns?
- Mm.
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00:12:28,707 --> 00:12:30,792
I am Mr. Amundson,
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00:12:30,792 --> 00:12:32,627
and this is Miss Markowitz.
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00:12:32,627 --> 00:12:36,089
Miss Markowitz and I
are a Social Service unit
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00:12:36,089 --> 00:12:38,967
from the Child Welfare Board.
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00:12:38,967 --> 00:12:41,428
We have been asked
by the bureau to--
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00:12:41,428 --> 00:12:43,597
Oh, and this must be
young Nicholas.
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00:12:43,597 --> 00:12:46,308
- Hello.
- Mr. Burns, we--
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00:12:46,308 --> 00:12:49,269
Miss Markowitz and I
have been asked by the BCW
186
00:12:49,269 --> 00:12:52,022
to investigate and examine
certain pupils
187
00:12:52,022 --> 00:12:53,690
of the Revere School.
188
00:12:53,690 --> 00:12:56,735
There is a--may we
189
00:12:56,735 --> 00:12:59,863
-see you for a moment?
- Oh, certainly.
190
00:13:09,831 --> 00:13:12,959
There is certain information,
which the school and the city
191
00:13:12,959 --> 00:13:15,337
would like to have of--
192
00:13:15,337 --> 00:13:17,464
-regarding young Nicholas.
- Uh, here, won't you sit down?
193
00:13:17,464 --> 00:13:19,841
I'll just get rid
of these things.
194
00:13:22,052 --> 00:13:24,262
I--I'd like to explain
195
00:13:24,262 --> 00:13:25,764
just why we're here, Mr. Burns.
196
00:13:25,764 --> 00:13:28,099
Well, say, would anybody
like some coffee?
197
00:13:28,099 --> 00:13:30,602
Oh, well, thank you, Nicholas--
Miss Markowitz?
198
00:13:30,602 --> 00:13:32,687
Yes, thank you.
199
00:13:35,065 --> 00:13:36,775
Watch it.
200
00:13:40,737 --> 00:13:42,989
It might be best, Mr. Burns,
201
00:13:42,989 --> 00:13:46,785
for the child, if perhaps
you were to send him downstairs
202
00:13:46,785 --> 00:13:49,162
to play or something
while we have our discussion.
203
00:13:49,162 --> 00:13:51,665
Yes, it would be
more advisable, Mr. Burns,
204
00:13:51,665 --> 00:13:53,625
if the child were not present,
205
00:13:53,625 --> 00:13:55,293
since Miss Markowitz,
who will be discussing
206
00:13:55,293 --> 00:13:57,379
the psychological area--
207
00:13:57,379 --> 00:13:59,422
that is, we will be
discussing certain matters--
208
00:13:59,422 --> 00:14:01,091
You gonna talk dirty?
209
00:14:03,301 --> 00:14:06,096
I appreciate the,
uh, informality
210
00:14:06,137 --> 00:14:08,723
with which you approach
this meeting, Mr. Burns.
211
00:14:08,723 --> 00:14:10,809
However, due to the fact
that you have chosen
212
00:14:10,809 --> 00:14:12,978
not to answer our letters
213
00:14:12,978 --> 00:14:14,604
and several of our phone calls--
214
00:14:14,604 --> 00:14:18,608
Miss Markowitz,
may I know your first name?
215
00:14:18,608 --> 00:14:20,819
It's Sandra.
216
00:14:20,819 --> 00:14:24,614
And you are the psychologist
part of the team, Sandy?
217
00:14:24,614 --> 00:14:27,033
That's right, Mr. Burns.
218
00:14:27,033 --> 00:14:29,744
And you, sir, I take it,
are the brawn of the outfit?
219
00:14:31,830 --> 00:14:34,374
Perhaps I--I should explain,
Mr. Burns,
220
00:14:34,374 --> 00:14:36,459
that the Social Service teams
221
00:14:36,459 --> 00:14:38,503
which serve the Revere School
222
00:14:38,503 --> 00:14:40,380
are a carefully planned balance
223
00:14:40,380 --> 00:14:43,633
of a social caseworker,
as such as myself, and--
224
00:14:43,633 --> 00:14:45,260
- Oh, thank you, Nicholas.
- Miss Markowitz.
225
00:14:45,260 --> 00:14:47,429
And a psychological
social worker,
226
00:14:47,429 --> 00:14:49,306
such as Miss Markowitz.
227
00:14:49,306 --> 00:14:51,975
Or, actually, Dr. Markowitz.
228
00:14:51,975 --> 00:14:53,602
Together, we form a rather--
229
00:14:53,602 --> 00:14:56,229
Say, is the coffee any good?
230
00:14:56,229 --> 00:14:58,481
Oh yes, very good,
thank you, Nicholas.
231
00:14:58,481 --> 00:15:00,650
Mm, very nice, Nicholas--
232
00:15:00,650 --> 00:15:02,861
Nicholas,
are you drinking coffee?
233
00:15:02,861 --> 00:15:04,362
Don't you think
it would be better--
234
00:15:04,362 --> 00:15:08,700
No, it's milk,
I like drinking from a cup.
235
00:15:08,700 --> 00:15:12,621
Now, aren't you
ashamed of yourself?
236
00:15:12,621 --> 00:15:16,124
Mr. Burns,
Mr. Amundson and I have
237
00:15:16,124 --> 00:15:19,586
several cases to examine today,
and we would appreciate
238
00:15:19,586 --> 00:15:22,088
a certain amount of cooperation.
239
00:15:22,088 --> 00:15:24,049
East Bronx, Mosholu Parkway.
240
00:15:24,049 --> 00:15:26,092
And a couple of years
in maybe Massachusetts.
241
00:15:26,092 --> 00:15:27,802
No!
242
00:15:27,802 --> 00:15:30,472
Oh oh, excuse me,
Nick and I are merely testing
243
00:15:30,472 --> 00:15:33,141
our sense of voice and accent.
244
00:15:33,141 --> 00:15:36,019
Nick insists he is
better at this than I am.
245
00:15:36,019 --> 00:15:39,731
Actually, I took my
graduate work with a professor,
246
00:15:39,731 --> 00:15:41,983
a man with a very strong
New England accent,
247
00:15:41,983 --> 00:15:44,569
who could very well have
influenced my speech.
248
00:15:44,569 --> 00:15:46,321
Nick is quite right.
249
00:15:46,321 --> 00:15:48,448
Wow, thank you, lady!
250
00:15:48,448 --> 00:15:51,868
You certainly have a fine ear
for sound, Nick.
251
00:15:51,868 --> 00:15:53,328
Do you and your uncle
play many of these
252
00:15:53,328 --> 00:15:55,330
sorts of games together?
253
00:15:55,330 --> 00:15:57,040
Well, yes,
we play many wholesome
254
00:15:57,040 --> 00:16:00,085
and constructive type
games together.
255
00:16:00,085 --> 00:16:03,213
Phew, you're a big phony, Nick.
256
00:16:03,213 --> 00:16:06,675
This lady is here for the facts.
257
00:16:06,675 --> 00:16:08,259
Quite so, Mr. Burns.
258
00:16:08,259 --> 00:16:12,138
We wish also to investigate
those intangibles.
259
00:16:12,138 --> 00:16:15,058
- Those--
- Jersey City.
260
00:16:15,058 --> 00:16:17,018
Maybe Newark,
a little bit of Chicago.
261
00:16:17,018 --> 00:16:19,062
Ah-ha, I think you hit it, Nick!
262
00:16:19,062 --> 00:16:21,898
Well, that's really
quite remarkable!
263
00:16:21,898 --> 00:16:25,193
Albert--Mr. Amundson is
from New Jersey, he went to
264
00:16:25,193 --> 00:16:27,070
-the University of Chicago--
- Uh, Sandra, this is really
265
00:16:27,070 --> 00:16:29,072
-quite beside the point.
- Well, Albert, I think
266
00:16:29,072 --> 00:16:31,700
it's really quite remarkable,
the boy--
267
00:16:31,700 --> 00:16:34,327
Suppose I just
plunge right in here,
268
00:16:34,327 --> 00:16:37,372
with several
of the facts required--
269
00:16:37,372 --> 00:16:39,374
Well, Donny Duhamel
hooked these in the game
270
00:16:39,374 --> 00:16:42,043
but they're not really ripe, so
I figured that the cantaloupe--
271
00:16:42,043 --> 00:16:44,212
I'm sorry, I didn't
know you had company.
272
00:16:44,212 --> 00:16:46,798
- See ya, Nick.
- See ya, Uncle Arnie.
273
00:16:49,718 --> 00:16:51,553
There somebody else
living here with you?
274
00:16:51,553 --> 00:16:53,388
No, that's just
my brother, Arnold.
275
00:16:53,388 --> 00:16:55,640
He brings fruit every morning
on his way to the office,
276
00:16:55,640 --> 00:16:57,267
he's a fruit nut.
277
00:16:57,267 --> 00:17:00,061
Oh yes, I see in our files
that your brother
278
00:17:00,061 --> 00:17:02,397
acts as your agent.
279
00:17:02,397 --> 00:17:04,733
Our research team
spoke to him, I believe.
280
00:17:04,733 --> 00:17:08,528
Say, you really do
a lot of that stuff?
281
00:17:08,528 --> 00:17:10,822
Calling people,
going into my personal life?
282
00:17:10,822 --> 00:17:12,991
You've refused
for quite some time, Mr. Burns,
283
00:17:13,033 --> 00:17:16,453
to answer any
of our regular inquiries.
284
00:17:16,453 --> 00:17:18,413
We understand that
you have been unemployed
285
00:17:18,413 --> 00:17:20,707
at this point
for nearly five months.
286
00:17:20,707 --> 00:17:23,626
Well, he has an excellent oppty
to be an exec assist.
287
00:17:23,626 --> 00:17:26,212
And that, previous to this,
288
00:17:26,212 --> 00:17:29,257
you were the chief writer for
the Chuckles the Chipmunk Show.
289
00:17:29,257 --> 00:17:31,634
Right, Albert,
for three years I wrote scripts
290
00:17:31,634 --> 00:17:34,596
for Leo Herman, better known
as Chuckles the Chipmunk,
291
00:17:34,637 --> 00:17:36,306
friend of the young 'uns
and seller of Chuckle Chips
292
00:17:36,306 --> 00:17:38,683
the potato of chips
your buddy Chuckles the Chipmunk
293
00:17:38,683 --> 00:17:41,352
chomps on and chuckles over.
294
00:17:41,352 --> 00:17:43,188
Would you care
to describe the circumstances
295
00:17:43,188 --> 00:17:45,231
under which
you left the employ of the--
296
00:17:45,231 --> 00:17:47,442
I quit.
297
00:17:47,442 --> 00:17:49,319
You felt that this was not
the work for you?
298
00:17:49,319 --> 00:17:52,530
No, why, I felt that I wasn't
reaching all the boys and girls
299
00:17:52,530 --> 00:17:55,200
out there in television land.
300
00:17:55,200 --> 00:17:57,118
Actually, it was not
so much I wasn't reaching
301
00:17:57,118 --> 00:17:59,245
the boys and girls,
but the boys and girls
302
00:17:59,245 --> 00:18:01,414
were starting to reach me.
303
00:18:01,414 --> 00:18:04,292
Six months ago,
a perfectly adult bartender
304
00:18:04,292 --> 00:18:06,711
asked me if I'd like
an onion in my martini,
305
00:18:06,711 --> 00:18:09,881
and I said,
"Gosh and gollies, you betcha!"
306
00:18:09,881 --> 00:18:12,550
Well, I knew
it was time to quit.
307
00:18:12,550 --> 00:18:15,095
Well, may I ask
if this is a pattern?
308
00:18:15,136 --> 00:18:17,013
That is, in the past,
has there been much
309
00:18:17,013 --> 00:18:18,890
shifting of position?
310
00:18:18,890 --> 00:18:22,268
No, I always take an onion
in my martini.
311
00:18:22,268 --> 00:18:25,271
- This is a constant--
- Mr. Burns.
312
00:18:25,271 --> 00:18:27,065
Perhaps you're not aware
313
00:18:27,065 --> 00:18:30,360
of just how serious
your situation is.
314
00:18:30,360 --> 00:18:33,530
The circumstances
of the child's environment.
315
00:18:33,530 --> 00:18:35,990
- The danger of...
- Our investigation,
316
00:18:35,990 --> 00:18:38,868
- Mr. Burns, is the result...
-...substantial development--
317
00:18:38,868 --> 00:18:40,870
-and--
-...of what the bureau considers
318
00:18:40,870 --> 00:18:43,915
to be almost an emergency case.
319
00:18:47,043 --> 00:18:49,921
Yeah, but he just
likes to kid around, lady.
320
00:18:49,921 --> 00:18:51,881
Really, we've got
a great environment here.
321
00:18:51,881 --> 00:18:54,759
Oh, relax, kid.
322
00:18:54,759 --> 00:18:58,054
Look, people, I am sorry,
323
00:18:58,096 --> 00:18:59,722
let's get on with the questions.
324
00:18:59,722 --> 00:19:02,725
Nick, suppose that you and I
325
00:19:02,725 --> 00:19:05,812
have a little chat right here.
326
00:19:05,812 --> 00:19:08,606
Oh fine, I was gonna
suggest that myself.
327
00:19:12,777 --> 00:19:15,071
Well, I'm sure there are times
328
00:19:15,071 --> 00:19:16,990
when the fun stops,
329
00:19:16,990 --> 00:19:19,159
and you have nice talks,
330
00:19:19,159 --> 00:19:21,286
and your uncle
teaches you things.
331
00:19:21,286 --> 00:19:23,454
Oh, I can do a great
Peter Lorre imitation.
332
00:19:23,454 --> 00:19:25,331
- Murray taught me.
- Uh, Nicky,
333
00:19:25,331 --> 00:19:28,126
-what Miss Markowitz means...
- You can't hang me.
334
00:19:28,126 --> 00:19:31,796
-...is that you and your uncle--
- I didn't do it, I tell you.
335
00:19:31,796 --> 00:19:33,673
- No, Nicky.
- That's not my knife!
336
00:19:33,673 --> 00:19:35,884
- That's not what we meant--
- It was all a mistake!
337
00:19:35,884 --> 00:19:37,886
- Nick.
- I'm innocent!
338
00:19:37,886 --> 00:19:40,096
- I'm innocent! I--
- Nicholas!
339
00:19:40,138 --> 00:19:43,308
That happens to be
a very good imitation.
340
00:19:43,308 --> 00:19:45,310
Well, perhaps,
but we're trying to establish--
341
00:19:45,310 --> 00:19:47,645
- Can you imitate Peter Lorre?
- Well, that's pointless, I--
342
00:19:47,645 --> 00:19:49,647
I can also do a pretty good
James Cagney,
343
00:19:49,647 --> 00:19:52,025
I mean, it's not fantastic
like my Peter Lorre,
344
00:19:52,025 --> 00:19:53,568
-but it's pretty good--
- Now, Nicholas, please.
345
00:19:53,568 --> 00:19:56,070
Try and pay attention.
346
00:19:56,070 --> 00:19:59,032
- Now, if I may proceed.
- Albert.
347
00:19:59,032 --> 00:20:02,076
If you'll just
let me handle this area.
348
00:20:08,875 --> 00:20:12,086
All right, Nick,
let's talk about games, okay?
349
00:20:12,086 --> 00:20:13,296
Okay.
350
00:20:13,296 --> 00:20:14,839
Now,
351
00:20:14,839 --> 00:20:17,508
do you have any
favorite games or toys
352
00:20:17,508 --> 00:20:21,179
that you'd like to show me,
some plaything that's
353
00:20:21,179 --> 00:20:23,890
just the most
favorite one of all?
354
00:20:25,850 --> 00:20:28,061
- Well, there's Bubbles.
- I don't think you'd be
355
00:20:28,061 --> 00:20:30,104
interested in seeing Bubbles.
356
00:20:34,484 --> 00:20:37,779
See, Bubbles is what you'd call
an electric statue.
357
00:20:43,701 --> 00:20:45,745
It's got an electric
battery timer in there
358
00:20:45,745 --> 00:20:48,206
that makes it go
on and off like that.
359
00:20:49,874 --> 00:20:52,502
Is this your favorite toy, Nick?
360
00:20:52,502 --> 00:20:54,629
Well, after a while,
it gets pretty boring.
361
00:20:54,629 --> 00:20:56,506
Tell me, Nick,
do you like best the fact
362
00:20:56,506 --> 00:20:59,676
that the chest
of the lady lights up?
363
00:20:59,676 --> 00:21:02,345
Well, you gotta admit, you don't
see boobies like that every day.
364
00:21:02,345 --> 00:21:04,973
Anybody want any toast
or orange juice
365
00:21:04,973 --> 00:21:06,849
or anything?
366
00:21:09,477 --> 00:21:10,645
Say, would you wanna
see the effect
367
00:21:10,645 --> 00:21:11,938
when the lights are out?
368
00:21:11,938 --> 00:21:14,065
- Or when the room is dark.
- Nick.
369
00:21:17,110 --> 00:21:19,654
Tell me, Nick, is that
what you like best about it,
370
00:21:19,654 --> 00:21:23,449
the fact that you can be alone
in the dark with it?
371
00:21:23,449 --> 00:21:24,450
Well, I don't know,
but in the dark,
372
00:21:24,450 --> 00:21:26,077
they really knock your eye out..
373
00:21:26,077 --> 00:21:29,664
Perhaps don't you think
we ought to turn off that...
374
00:21:31,207 --> 00:21:33,376
Nick, does Bubbles,
375
00:21:33,376 --> 00:21:36,838
does she in any way,
does her face remind you at all
376
00:21:36,838 --> 00:21:39,382
of, oh, let me see,
your mother, for--
377
00:21:39,382 --> 00:21:41,843
for example?
378
00:21:41,843 --> 00:21:44,804
No, it's just a doll, it's not
a statue of anybody I know,
379
00:21:44,846 --> 00:21:47,807
I got it in a store downtown.
380
00:21:47,807 --> 00:21:50,226
Her chest, is that something--
381
00:21:50,226 --> 00:21:53,646
Well, it's something
all right, isn't it?
382
00:21:53,646 --> 00:21:55,481
When you think about
your mother--
383
00:21:55,481 --> 00:21:57,275
Well, I don't
think about her too much.
384
00:21:57,275 --> 00:21:59,110
But, when you do
think about her,
385
00:21:59,110 --> 00:22:01,904
do you remember her face best,
or her hands, or--
386
00:22:01,904 --> 00:22:05,283
Oh, oh, I remember,
she has a terrific laugh.
387
00:22:05,325 --> 00:22:07,160
See, it's the kinda laugh
that when she laughs,
388
00:22:07,160 --> 00:22:09,662
it makes you laugh too.
389
00:22:11,497 --> 00:22:13,291
'Course,
she overdoes that a lot.
390
00:22:13,291 --> 00:22:15,752
Well, I mean, physically,
when you think of her,
391
00:22:15,752 --> 00:22:18,671
do you, uh, well,
when you see Bubbles there,
392
00:22:18,671 --> 00:22:21,466
and Bubbles goes
on and off like that--
393
00:22:21,466 --> 00:22:24,177
Sandra, his mother's chest
did not light up.
394
00:22:26,429 --> 00:22:29,015
Mark that down
in the file, Albert.
395
00:22:29,015 --> 00:22:33,061
Nicky, I wonder
if you'd turn those off.
396
00:22:33,061 --> 00:22:34,896
- I mean, her off.
- Uh, see, mainly,
397
00:22:34,896 --> 00:22:37,440
I like to read books
that are healthy, constructive,
398
00:22:37,440 --> 00:22:39,942
and extremely educational
for a person--
399
00:22:39,942 --> 00:22:42,653
Uh, don't push it, Nick.
400
00:22:42,653 --> 00:22:45,281
He has no
unusual fixations, Sandy.
401
00:22:45,281 --> 00:22:48,159
I mean, he's no more abnormally
interested in your bust
402
00:22:48,159 --> 00:22:50,995
than Mr. Amundson is.
403
00:22:50,995 --> 00:22:53,331
Mr. Burns, it is not necessary
to make that comment.
404
00:22:53,331 --> 00:22:56,459
Of course,
I might be wrong about that.
405
00:22:56,459 --> 00:22:59,670
- Our interest in that doll is--
- Say, you really are interested
406
00:22:59,670 --> 00:23:01,547
in that doll, Albert.
407
00:23:01,547 --> 00:23:03,841
- Our--our interest in the doll--
- Oh well, I'd sell it to ya
408
00:23:03,841 --> 00:23:05,802
for two dollars,
that's 50 cents less
409
00:23:05,802 --> 00:23:09,013
than I paid for it.
410
00:23:09,013 --> 00:23:12,975
Sandra, I fail to see
what's so amusing.
411
00:23:12,975 --> 00:23:14,936
I'm sorry, Albert.
412
00:23:14,936 --> 00:23:17,480
Well, it was just funny.
413
00:23:17,480 --> 00:23:20,149
Suppose I pursue, then,
the psychological part
414
00:23:20,149 --> 00:23:22,235
-of this examination.
- Really, Albert, I really do
415
00:23:22,235 --> 00:23:24,153
feel that it would be better
if I were to do it.
416
00:23:24,153 --> 00:23:25,822
Hey look, Albert,
the lady was just laughing
417
00:23:25,822 --> 00:23:27,532
because something funny
happened.
418
00:23:27,532 --> 00:23:29,117
That's the best thing to do
under the circumstances.
419
00:23:29,117 --> 00:23:30,910
- Mr. Burns--
- Say!
420
00:23:30,910 --> 00:23:33,830
How would you all like to go
to the Statue of Liberty?
421
00:23:33,830 --> 00:23:36,332
Now, I have it on good authority
from the weather lady
422
00:23:36,332 --> 00:23:39,419
that today is a beautiful day.
423
00:23:39,419 --> 00:23:41,963
Mr. Burns, now this interview
has reached a point--
424
00:23:41,963 --> 00:23:44,715
I'm gonna get
my educational books now.
425
00:23:44,715 --> 00:23:46,801
- I left them out on the street.
- Mr. Burns.
426
00:23:46,801 --> 00:23:48,344
This interview
has reached a point--
427
00:23:48,344 --> 00:23:50,221
- Mr. Burns--
- Now, dammit, Sandra,
428
00:23:50,221 --> 00:23:51,889
don't interrupt me.
429
00:23:51,889 --> 00:23:54,058
For goodness' sakes, Albert.
430
00:23:54,058 --> 00:23:57,854
Sandra, perhaps we, uh...
431
00:23:57,854 --> 00:23:59,272
Would you excuse us
for a moment, Mr. Burns?
432
00:23:59,272 --> 00:24:00,982
I'd like to have
a short conference with Sandra.
433
00:24:00,982 --> 00:24:03,359
- Yep.
- Um, er...
434
00:24:03,359 --> 00:24:06,404
Dr. Markowitz,
for a moment, please.
435
00:24:09,866 --> 00:24:13,202
Dear, what are you doing,
have we lost all control?
436
00:24:13,202 --> 00:24:15,913
Are you seriously talking to me
about control, Albert?
437
00:24:15,913 --> 00:24:18,374
Now, dear, I told you--
438
00:24:20,793 --> 00:24:23,880
I told you
and I told Dr. Malgaut
439
00:24:23,880 --> 00:24:27,550
it is much too soon for you
to be going out on cases.
440
00:24:27,550 --> 00:24:29,469
You need another year
in the office,
441
00:24:29,469 --> 00:24:31,304
behind the lines,
I told you both
442
00:24:31,304 --> 00:24:34,015
-you simply are not ready.
- Albert, you hardly
443
00:24:34,015 --> 00:24:37,268
let me get started--
see, I was attempting
444
00:24:37,268 --> 00:24:39,770
to deal on the basis
of the whole child--
445
00:24:39,770 --> 00:24:41,439
Three months out of grad school,
and you wanna go
446
00:24:41,439 --> 00:24:43,107
right into front lines.
447
00:24:43,107 --> 00:24:45,610
- Really?
- You get too involved, Sandra.
448
00:24:45,610 --> 00:24:49,238
Each case, you get much too
emotionally involved.
449
00:24:49,238 --> 00:24:51,532
Now, we are scientists here.
450
00:24:51,532 --> 00:24:52,867
You seem to lose sight
of that fact.
451
00:24:52,867 --> 00:24:55,203
Albert, this is no way to deal
452
00:24:55,203 --> 00:24:57,580
-with this man's problems.
- Oh, that's fine, that's fine.
453
00:24:57,580 --> 00:25:01,083
How are we doing?
454
00:25:01,083 --> 00:25:02,835
You know, personally,
I don't think you're going to
455
00:25:02,835 --> 00:25:04,837
solve your problems
with each other.
456
00:25:04,837 --> 00:25:08,633
But I'm glad you came to me,
because I think I can help you.
457
00:25:08,633 --> 00:25:11,677
Al, Sandy is not
going to respect you
458
00:25:11,677 --> 00:25:14,347
because you threaten her--
no, respect will have to
459
00:25:14,388 --> 00:25:17,558
come gradually, naturally,
a maturing process.
460
00:25:17,558 --> 00:25:20,061
Mr. Burns,
the Child Welfare Board
461
00:25:20,061 --> 00:25:23,981
is thoroughly aware that
Nicholas is not legally adopted.
462
00:25:23,981 --> 00:25:26,150
Consequently, they have,
I assure you--
463
00:25:26,150 --> 00:25:28,778
Now, you don't assure me
of anything, buddy.
464
00:25:28,778 --> 00:25:31,447
You make me damn nervous.
465
00:25:31,447 --> 00:25:34,867
Mr. Burns, according to the BCW,
the child's continuance
466
00:25:34,867 --> 00:25:38,579
in your home is in serious
and immediate doubt.
467
00:25:45,086 --> 00:25:48,839
Burns, aren't you at all
willing to give some evidence
468
00:25:48,839 --> 00:25:51,884
in your favor for our report?
469
00:25:51,884 --> 00:25:55,972
Some evidence to support
your competency as a guardian?
470
00:26:02,520 --> 00:26:05,189
All right, Albert.
471
00:26:17,201 --> 00:26:20,746
Look, folks,
what's all the trouble?
472
00:26:20,746 --> 00:26:23,040
That kid's my nephew,
he's staying with me
473
00:26:23,040 --> 00:26:25,084
for a while, he's visiting.
474
00:26:25,084 --> 00:26:27,712
- How long has he been here?
- Seven years.
475
00:26:30,923 --> 00:26:33,509
Nicholas's father, where is he?
476
00:26:33,509 --> 00:26:35,970
Well, that's not
a where question,
477
00:26:35,970 --> 00:26:38,222
that's a who question.
478
00:26:38,222 --> 00:26:41,976
Nicholas's mother,
she is still alive.
479
00:26:41,976 --> 00:26:45,563
Ah, my sister
is unquestionably alive.
480
00:26:45,563 --> 00:26:47,898
But her responsibility
to the child--
481
00:26:47,898 --> 00:26:50,318
Well, now, for five years
she did everything she could
482
00:26:50,318 --> 00:26:53,112
for the child but get married.
483
00:26:53,112 --> 00:26:54,572
Now, that's not easy
to understand,
484
00:26:54,572 --> 00:26:57,491
since she used to
get married to everybody.
485
00:26:57,491 --> 00:26:59,910
You might call Nick a bastard.
486
00:26:59,910 --> 00:27:02,455
Or a little bastard,
depending upon how whimsical
487
00:27:02,455 --> 00:27:05,333
you feel at the time.
488
00:27:05,333 --> 00:27:06,709
I tell ya, folks, I got a real
489
00:27:06,709 --> 00:27:10,004
social worker's paradise here.
490
00:27:10,004 --> 00:27:13,299
Well, my sister, Elaine,
arrived here one day
491
00:27:13,299 --> 00:27:16,469
with two suitcases, a hatbox,
492
00:27:16,469 --> 00:27:19,096
a blue parakeet,
a dead goldfish,
493
00:27:19,138 --> 00:27:21,474
and a five-year-old child.
494
00:27:21,474 --> 00:27:23,225
A few days later,
she went downstairs
495
00:27:23,225 --> 00:27:27,438
to buy a pack
of filter tip cigarettes.
496
00:27:27,438 --> 00:27:29,273
Six years later, she returned
497
00:27:29,273 --> 00:27:32,318
for the suitcases
and the hatbox.
498
00:27:32,318 --> 00:27:34,403
Now, the parakeet,
I had given away.
499
00:27:34,403 --> 00:27:37,615
The goldfish, I had long since
flushed down the toilet.
500
00:27:37,615 --> 00:27:40,493
And the five-year-old child had,
with very little effort,
501
00:27:40,493 --> 00:27:43,120
become six years older.
502
00:27:43,120 --> 00:27:45,373
When Elaine returned
for her luggage,
503
00:27:45,373 --> 00:27:48,125
I reminded her of the child
504
00:27:48,125 --> 00:27:50,961
and the pack
of filter tip cigarettes.
505
00:27:50,961 --> 00:27:52,630
And then, I don't know,
506
00:27:52,630 --> 00:27:56,300
I slapped my sister.
507
00:27:56,300 --> 00:27:58,260
Sister cried at some length,
508
00:27:58,260 --> 00:28:01,931
and then proceeded calmly,
briefly, to explain to me
509
00:28:01,931 --> 00:28:05,059
her well-practiced theory
on the meaning of life,
510
00:28:05,059 --> 00:28:08,854
a philosophy falling somewhere
to the left of whoopee.
511
00:28:08,854 --> 00:28:12,400
Well, that was almost a year ago
and I still got Nick.
512
00:28:12,400 --> 00:28:14,860
But, uh, I am sure
513
00:28:14,860 --> 00:28:18,322
she must have had
some concern about Nicholas.
514
00:28:18,322 --> 00:28:22,118
- About the child.
- His name is not Nicholas.
515
00:28:22,118 --> 00:28:24,829
Or even Nick--you see,
not having given him
516
00:28:24,829 --> 00:28:26,831
a last name,
Elaine felt reticent about
517
00:28:26,831 --> 00:28:29,166
assigning him a first one.
518
00:28:29,166 --> 00:28:31,669
How did you
communicate with, uh--
519
00:28:31,669 --> 00:28:33,921
I made a deal with him
when he was six,
520
00:28:33,921 --> 00:28:37,800
up to which time he was known
rather casually as Chubby,
521
00:28:37,800 --> 00:28:40,010
that he could use
whatever name he wished
522
00:28:40,010 --> 00:28:41,637
for however long he wished
523
00:28:41,637 --> 00:28:44,056
until his 13th birthday,
524
00:28:44,056 --> 00:28:47,768
at which time, he'd have to pick
a name he liked permanently.
525
00:28:47,768 --> 00:28:50,229
Now, he went through
a long period
526
00:28:50,229 --> 00:28:53,399
of dogs' names
when he was little,
527
00:28:53,399 --> 00:28:57,069
King and Rover having
a real vogue there for a while.
528
00:28:57,069 --> 00:28:59,196
For three months,
he referred to himself
529
00:28:59,196 --> 00:29:01,365
as Big Sam.
530
00:29:01,365 --> 00:29:03,743
Then there was Little Max,
531
00:29:03,743 --> 00:29:05,828
Snoopy. Chip.
532
00:29:05,828 --> 00:29:09,582
Rock, Rex, Mike, Marty, Lamont,
Ch--
533
00:29:15,337 --> 00:29:17,298
Chevrolet,
534
00:29:17,298 --> 00:29:21,010
Woodrow, Lefty, the Phantom.
535
00:29:21,010 --> 00:29:23,304
He received his library card
last year in the name of
536
00:29:23,304 --> 00:29:25,848
Raphael Sabatini.
537
00:29:25,848 --> 00:29:27,391
His Cub Scout membership
lists him
538
00:29:27,391 --> 00:29:30,227
as Dr. Morris Fishbein.
539
00:29:30,227 --> 00:29:33,063
Nick seems to be the one
that'll stick, though.
540
00:29:33,063 --> 00:29:34,899
His mother, where--
541
00:29:34,899 --> 00:29:38,277
Oh, Elaine communicates
with my brother and myself
542
00:29:38,277 --> 00:29:40,446
almost entirely by rumor.
543
00:29:42,490 --> 00:29:45,659
Well, I don't think
I've left anything out.
544
00:29:45,659 --> 00:29:49,538
I was not aware that Nicholas
was an O.W. child.
545
00:29:49,538 --> 00:29:51,999
O.W.?
546
00:29:51,999 --> 00:29:53,834
- Out of wedlock.
- For a moment there
547
00:29:53,834 --> 00:29:56,295
I thought you meant
prisoner of war.
548
00:29:56,295 --> 00:29:58,380
I think it's that natural warmth
of yours, Albert,
549
00:29:58,380 --> 00:30:01,759
that leads me to misunderstand.
550
00:30:01,759 --> 00:30:05,262
Yes, but, as concerns
the child...
551
00:30:05,262 --> 00:30:06,764
Uh, where is the child?
552
00:30:06,764 --> 00:30:09,475
You preferred not
having him here anyway, Albert.
553
00:30:09,475 --> 00:30:11,685
I'm perfectly aware, Sandra,
of what I prefer
554
00:30:11,685 --> 00:30:13,562
and what I do not prefer.
555
00:30:15,523 --> 00:30:18,901
I don't care for that tone
of voice at all, Albert.
556
00:30:21,904 --> 00:30:24,949
Sandra, I understand perfectly
what has happened here.
557
00:30:24,949 --> 00:30:27,409
We have allowed
this man to disturb us,
558
00:30:27,409 --> 00:30:29,620
and we have both
gotten a bit upset.
559
00:30:29,620 --> 00:30:31,580
Now, I really do feel
that it's time we got over
560
00:30:31,580 --> 00:30:35,417
to that family problem
in Queens.
561
00:30:35,417 --> 00:30:37,336
It's there in your file,
the Ledbetters,
562
00:30:37,336 --> 00:30:39,129
the introverted child.
563
00:30:39,129 --> 00:30:41,799
We've given an unreasonable
amount of time to this case.
564
00:30:41,799 --> 00:30:43,551
This interview, I'm afraid,
Mr. Burns, has reached a point--
565
00:30:43,551 --> 00:30:46,720
Albert, I personally feel
that it would not be advisable
566
00:30:46,720 --> 00:30:49,139
to leave this particular case
at this particular time.
567
00:30:49,139 --> 00:30:50,891
Sandra, we have
done here this morning--
568
00:30:50,891 --> 00:30:53,185
I feel that we have not really
given Mr. Burns a chance.
569
00:30:53,185 --> 00:30:55,145
Sandra.
570
00:30:55,145 --> 00:30:57,356
It's time we left for Queens.
571
00:31:01,360 --> 00:31:03,195
Here's the Ledbetter file.
572
00:31:03,195 --> 00:31:06,657
I'm staying here.
573
00:31:06,657 --> 00:31:08,868
- Sandra.
-I've decided to pursue
574
00:31:08,868 --> 00:31:11,453
-this case.
- Have we lost
575
00:31:11,453 --> 00:31:12,955
all professional control?
576
00:31:12,955 --> 00:31:17,084
You just go yourself
to the Ledbellys.
577
00:31:17,084 --> 00:31:21,797
You, go on to Queens,
why don't you?
578
00:31:21,797 --> 00:31:24,758
May I just talk to you
for a moment, please?
579
00:31:27,136 --> 00:31:29,555
Dear, what is this?
580
00:31:29,597 --> 00:31:31,473
What's happened to you today,
what are you doing?
581
00:31:31,473 --> 00:31:33,726
I'm doing what I think is right.
582
00:31:33,726 --> 00:31:36,395
Now, I understand
how you feel, Sandra.
583
00:31:36,395 --> 00:31:38,022
- But there's nothing more--
- Are you really going
584
00:31:38,022 --> 00:31:39,356
to leave that man here
like that?
585
00:31:39,356 --> 00:31:41,066
You're not going
to try to help him
586
00:31:41,066 --> 00:31:43,944
or tell him about the board
separating him from the child?
587
00:31:43,944 --> 00:31:45,863
I mean, just so cold.
588
00:31:45,863 --> 00:31:47,948
Darling,
of course I want to help,
589
00:31:47,948 --> 00:31:49,533
but let's not forget the child
590
00:31:49,533 --> 00:31:52,286
is the one who needs
our attention.
591
00:31:52,286 --> 00:31:55,039
Listen, you have--
you have spent too much time
592
00:31:55,039 --> 00:31:57,374
in that graduate school
and not enough time
593
00:31:57,374 --> 00:31:59,418
in the field, now, you've got
to learn your job--
594
00:31:59,418 --> 00:32:01,462
Don't give me
any of that nonsense!
595
00:32:01,462 --> 00:32:03,339
This is not the time
nor the place for this!
596
00:32:03,339 --> 00:32:05,549
You know, graduate school
wouldn't have done you any harm,
597
00:32:05,549 --> 00:32:09,762
believe me--
it's the most terrible thing!
598
00:32:09,762 --> 00:32:12,097
Do you know what you are,
Albert? You're...
599
00:32:13,849 --> 00:32:16,894
I don't know,
but I'll think of something.
600
00:32:16,894 --> 00:32:19,104
Mr. Burns--Mr. Burns,
you can assume...
601
00:32:20,898 --> 00:32:23,150
Mr. Burns?
602
00:32:27,446 --> 00:32:30,866
Oh, uh, Mr. Burns.
603
00:32:30,866 --> 00:32:33,160
You can assume at this point
that Miss Markowitz
604
00:32:33,160 --> 00:32:35,996
is no longer involved
with your case.
605
00:32:35,996 --> 00:32:38,832
Now, the board will be informed
606
00:32:38,832 --> 00:32:42,336
that she's no longer involved
with this particular case.
607
00:32:42,336 --> 00:32:45,422
Her continuing to discuss
your case at this point
608
00:32:45,422 --> 00:32:47,257
is entirely unofficial.
609
00:32:47,257 --> 00:32:50,719
You can dismiss any conference,
610
00:32:50,719 --> 00:32:53,430
which may resume when I leave.
611
00:32:53,430 --> 00:32:55,641
After I leave here.
612
00:32:55,641 --> 00:32:58,394
From your mind.
613
00:32:58,394 --> 00:33:00,938
And regardless
of what you think of me.
614
00:33:00,938 --> 00:33:03,399
I think you're a dirty O.W.
615
00:33:10,656 --> 00:33:13,117
And do you know what you are?
616
00:33:13,117 --> 00:33:14,576
Maladjusted.
617
00:33:14,576 --> 00:33:16,787
Ooh!
618
00:33:19,415 --> 00:33:22,084
Good afternoon, Mr. Burns.
619
00:33:22,084 --> 00:33:24,586
Good afternoon, Sandra.
620
00:33:37,266 --> 00:33:39,768
Mr. Burns?
621
00:33:42,146 --> 00:33:45,107
Mr. Burns,
I must apologize to you.
622
00:33:47,192 --> 00:33:49,987
We, uh.
623
00:33:49,987 --> 00:33:51,989
We have put you--
624
00:33:51,989 --> 00:33:56,160
you have been put at
a disadvantage this morning,
625
00:33:56,160 --> 00:34:00,873
Mr. Burns, because you've been
involved in a personal problem
626
00:34:00,873 --> 00:34:04,710
that has nothing
whatsoever to do
627
00:34:04,710 --> 00:34:08,464
with your particular case.
628
00:34:08,464 --> 00:34:11,008
It's entirely wrong
for me to give you
629
00:34:11,008 --> 00:34:13,719
this impression of our...
630
00:34:18,474 --> 00:34:20,768
- Do you know what?
- What?
631
00:34:20,768 --> 00:34:24,146
I hate the Led betters!
632
00:34:24,146 --> 00:34:25,856
Well, I'm sure
once I got to know them,
633
00:34:25,856 --> 00:34:27,900
-I'd hate them too.
- Mr. Burns,
634
00:34:27,900 --> 00:34:29,860
you don't understand.
635
00:34:29,860 --> 00:34:33,030
Some of the cases, I love,
and some of them, I hate,
636
00:34:33,030 --> 00:34:35,240
and that's all wrong
for my work,
637
00:34:35,240 --> 00:34:37,493
but I can't help it!
638
00:34:37,493 --> 00:34:39,328
I hate Raymond Ledbetter,
639
00:34:39,328 --> 00:34:42,289
and he's only nine years old.
640
00:34:42,289 --> 00:34:43,957
But some of them--some of them
641
00:34:43,957 --> 00:34:47,503
I like too much, and I worry
about them all day long,
642
00:34:47,503 --> 00:34:49,671
it is an obvious conflict
643
00:34:49,671 --> 00:34:52,549
against all
professional standards.
644
00:34:52,549 --> 00:34:56,637
I didn't like Raymond Ledbetter,
so I tried to understand him,
645
00:34:56,637 --> 00:34:59,890
and now that I understand him,
I hate him!
646
00:35:03,310 --> 00:35:05,437
Can I get you a cup of coffee?
647
00:35:07,481 --> 00:35:11,819
Albert is gone,
and I just lost my job.
648
00:35:11,819 --> 00:35:15,864
I wrote out
what my married name would be
649
00:35:15,864 --> 00:35:19,701
on a paper napkin
last night after dinner,
650
00:35:19,701 --> 00:35:22,162
"Mrs. Albert Amundson,"
651
00:35:22,162 --> 00:35:24,414
to see how it would look.
652
00:35:27,167 --> 00:35:29,503
We were going to be married.
653
00:35:29,503 --> 00:35:32,506
It was all planned.
654
00:35:32,506 --> 00:35:35,676
"Mrs. Albert Amundson,"
on a napkin.
655
00:35:38,762 --> 00:35:41,974
You have to understand Albert.
656
00:35:41,974 --> 00:35:45,185
He's really a very nice person
when he's not on cases.
657
00:35:45,185 --> 00:35:47,604
He's a very intelligent man.
658
00:35:49,481 --> 00:35:51,400
Last month,
I fell asleep on him twice
659
00:35:51,400 --> 00:35:54,194
while he was talking to me.
660
00:35:54,194 --> 00:35:56,405
Do you have to sit there?
661
00:35:56,405 --> 00:35:58,365
Please go away.
662
00:36:00,492 --> 00:36:03,620
Why don't you go away?
663
00:36:03,620 --> 00:36:05,581
Well, I live here.
664
00:36:05,581 --> 00:36:09,084
I would like everybody
to go away.
665
00:36:09,084 --> 00:36:11,420
Could I get you
a pastrami sandwich?
666
00:36:11,420 --> 00:36:13,839
I don't even know you,
I am crying
667
00:36:13,839 --> 00:36:17,134
right in front of you,
please go away!
668
00:36:19,344 --> 00:36:22,139
Now, you're really going
to have to stop crying,
669
00:36:22,139 --> 00:36:24,349
because I'm going
out of my mind here.
670
00:36:24,349 --> 00:36:26,727
I cry all the time,
and I laugh
671
00:36:26,727 --> 00:36:28,896
in the wrong places
at the movies.
672
00:36:30,898 --> 00:36:33,025
I am unsuited to my profession,
673
00:36:33,025 --> 00:36:34,902
I can't do anything right.
674
00:36:34,902 --> 00:36:38,530
Last night,
I burned an entire chicken.
675
00:36:38,530 --> 00:36:40,741
And after seven years
of school, I can't work
676
00:36:40,741 --> 00:36:43,285
and I've got no place to go.
677
00:36:43,285 --> 00:36:46,079
An entire chicken!
678
00:36:46,079 --> 00:36:49,374
Oh, this is an awful day.
679
00:36:49,374 --> 00:36:51,335
What am I going to do?
680
00:36:51,335 --> 00:36:53,170
Oh, Miss Markowitz,
681
00:36:53,170 --> 00:36:56,381
this is a beautiful day.
682
00:36:56,381 --> 00:36:58,884
And I'll tell you why.
683
00:36:58,884 --> 00:37:00,969
Look, you're really
a jolly old girl
684
00:37:00,969 --> 00:37:03,180
and you are well rid of Albert.
685
00:37:03,180 --> 00:37:05,182
You have been given
the rare opportunity
686
00:37:05,182 --> 00:37:09,186
of returning the unused portion
and having your money refunded.
687
00:37:09,186 --> 00:37:11,730
But my work.
688
00:37:11,730 --> 00:37:13,482
What am I going to do?
689
00:37:13,482 --> 00:37:16,526
But you're a lover,
Dr. Markowitz.
690
00:37:16,526 --> 00:37:20,405
Yeah, you are a lover
of things and of people.
691
00:37:20,405 --> 00:37:22,199
So, you took up work
where you could get at
692
00:37:22,199 --> 00:37:24,201
as many of them as possible,
693
00:37:24,201 --> 00:37:27,162
and it just turned out
there were too many of them
694
00:37:27,162 --> 00:37:30,249
and too much that moves you.
695
00:37:30,249 --> 00:37:32,084
But dammit,
be glad it turned out
696
00:37:32,084 --> 00:37:34,461
you're not reasonable
and sensible.
697
00:37:34,461 --> 00:37:37,756
Have all the gratitude you can
that you're capable
698
00:37:37,756 --> 00:37:40,259
of embarrassment and joy
699
00:37:40,259 --> 00:37:43,220
and are a marathon crier.
700
00:37:43,220 --> 00:37:45,889
There is a kind of relief
that it's gone,
701
00:37:45,931 --> 00:37:48,850
the job, and even Albert.
702
00:37:48,850 --> 00:37:51,019
But I know what it is,
703
00:37:51,019 --> 00:37:53,313
it's just irresponsible,
that's all,
704
00:37:53,313 --> 00:37:55,774
and I don't have
the vaguest idea who I am.
705
00:37:55,774 --> 00:37:58,402
It's just that there are all
these Sandras running around
706
00:37:58,402 --> 00:38:00,237
who you've never met before,
707
00:38:00,237 --> 00:38:02,447
and that's confusing at first,
708
00:38:02,447 --> 00:38:05,325
fantastic--but dammit,
isn't it great to find out
709
00:38:05,325 --> 00:38:07,786
how many Sandras there are?
710
00:38:07,786 --> 00:38:10,122
It's like those
little cars in the circus,
711
00:38:10,122 --> 00:38:12,666
you know,
this tiny red car comes out,
712
00:38:12,666 --> 00:38:14,835
hardly big enough for a midget,
713
00:38:14,835 --> 00:38:18,714
and it putters around,
and suddenly,
714
00:38:18,714 --> 00:38:21,049
its doors open
715
00:38:21,049 --> 00:38:23,260
and out come a thousand clowns,
716
00:38:23,260 --> 00:38:26,388
whooping and hollering
and raising hell.
717
00:38:33,270 --> 00:38:36,690
- What's this?
- That is my undershirt.
718
00:38:36,690 --> 00:38:39,443
Now, how's about going
to the Empire State Building
719
00:38:39,443 --> 00:38:42,612
-with me?
-I'll have that coffee now.
720
00:38:42,612 --> 00:38:44,114
Didn't answer my question,
would you like to visit
721
00:38:44,114 --> 00:38:46,241
the Empire State Building?
722
00:38:46,241 --> 00:38:49,036
No, not really.
723
00:38:49,036 --> 00:38:51,079
Well then, how about the zoo?
724
00:38:51,079 --> 00:38:52,914
Not just now.
725
00:38:52,914 --> 00:38:55,459
Well, will you marry me?
726
00:38:55,459 --> 00:38:56,835
- What?
- Just a bit
727
00:38:56,835 --> 00:38:58,670
of shock treatment there--
I have found
728
00:38:58,670 --> 00:39:00,839
after long experience,
it's the quickest way
729
00:39:00,839 --> 00:39:03,550
to get a woman's attention
when her mind wandered.
730
00:39:03,550 --> 00:39:05,886
Always works.
731
00:39:05,886 --> 00:39:08,972
- Mr. Burns--
- Oh, no, no, now that you cried,
732
00:39:09,014 --> 00:39:11,475
you can't call me "Mr. Burns."
733
00:39:11,475 --> 00:39:13,310
Same thing goes for laughing.
734
00:39:13,310 --> 00:39:15,979
My name is Murray.
735
00:39:15,979 --> 00:39:18,565
Well, Murray, um, hmm,
736
00:39:18,565 --> 00:39:20,734
to sort of return
to reality for a moment--
737
00:39:20,734 --> 00:39:22,861
I'll only go as a tourist.
738
00:39:24,654 --> 00:39:26,531
Murray...
739
00:39:26,531 --> 00:39:30,410
the Child Welfare Board
could really take Nick away.
740
00:39:30,410 --> 00:39:32,120
But there's some things
that you could do about it
741
00:39:32,120 --> 00:39:33,955
to make your case
a little stronger.
742
00:39:33,955 --> 00:39:35,374
Uh, Sandra, do you realize
743
00:39:35,374 --> 00:39:38,001
you are not wearing your shoes?
744
00:39:43,215 --> 00:39:46,510
Well, here I am with some
of my favorite books.
745
00:39:46,510 --> 00:39:48,345
Uh, Fun in the Rain,
The Young Railroader,
746
00:39:48,345 --> 00:39:50,764
Great Philosophers,
Science for Youth,
747
00:39:50,806 --> 00:39:52,432
and a Spanish dictionary.
748
00:39:52,432 --> 00:39:54,476
See, what I did was, I left them
out on the street when I was
749
00:39:54,476 --> 00:39:55,977
-playing and I thought--
- Nick, you just killed
750
00:39:55,977 --> 00:39:57,437
a whole month's allowance
for nothing,
751
00:39:57,437 --> 00:40:00,565
Miss Markowitz isn't even
on our case anymore.
752
00:40:00,565 --> 00:40:03,276
I shouldn't have left.
753
00:40:03,276 --> 00:40:05,362
You got angry
and insulted everybody.
754
00:40:05,362 --> 00:40:08,198
Nothing to worry about.
755
00:40:08,198 --> 00:40:11,660
Well, four dollars
right out the window.
756
00:40:14,454 --> 00:40:17,249
We're in real trouble now,
right, lady?
757
00:40:17,249 --> 00:40:20,627
Nick? Nick, we have a guest,
758
00:40:20,627 --> 00:40:22,629
a music lover.
759
00:40:22,629 --> 00:40:26,216
Let's play our song.
760
00:40:26,216 --> 00:40:27,926
Come on,
I'm sure it will be requested.
761
00:40:27,926 --> 00:40:30,637
Murray, you know, we can't
play songs at a time like this.
762
00:40:30,637 --> 00:40:32,222
Come on, old man, where's
your professional attitude?
763
00:40:32,222 --> 00:40:35,475
Murray, we cannot--
this is no time to play songs.
764
00:40:35,475 --> 00:40:37,853
- Please.
- ♪ Yes, sir ♪
765
00:40:37,853 --> 00:40:39,604
- Murray, don't.
- ♪ That's my baby ♪
766
00:40:39,604 --> 00:40:42,899
♪ No, sir,
I don't mean maybe ♪
767
00:40:42,899 --> 00:40:47,821
♪ Yes, sir, that's my baby ♪
768
00:40:50,073 --> 00:40:53,410
♪ Yes, sir, we've decided ♪
769
00:40:53,410 --> 00:40:56,955
♪ No, sir,
but we won't hide it ♪
770
00:40:56,955 --> 00:41:01,126
♪ Yes, sir,
that's my baby now ♪
771
00:41:02,919 --> 00:41:06,381
- ♪ Oh, by the way ♪
- ♪ Oh, by the way ♪
772
00:41:06,381 --> 00:41:09,509
- ♪ Oh, by the way ♪
- ♪ Oh, by the way... ♪
773
00:41:09,509 --> 00:41:12,304
♪ And when we meet,
774
00:41:12,304 --> 00:41:16,016
somebody will say ♪
775
00:41:16,016 --> 00:41:17,267
♪ Yes, sir, that's my baby ♪
776
00:41:17,267 --> 00:41:18,602
♪ No, sir, don't mean maybe ♪
777
00:41:18,602 --> 00:41:21,605
♪ Yes, sir, that's my baby ♪
778
00:41:21,605 --> 00:41:25,066
♪ Oh, by the way ♪
779
00:41:25,066 --> 00:41:29,154
♪ And by the way ♪
780
00:41:29,154 --> 00:41:31,531
♪ When we meet,
781
00:41:31,531 --> 00:41:35,118
somebody will say... ♪
782
00:41:37,746 --> 00:41:41,082
♪ Yes, sir, that's my-- ♪
783
00:41:41,082 --> 00:41:42,792
Nice to meet you, lady,
I'll see you around.
784
00:41:42,792 --> 00:41:44,669
Where you off to, Nick?
785
00:41:44,669 --> 00:41:46,880
Oh, I'm gonna leave my stuff
up with Mrs. Meyers,
786
00:41:46,880 --> 00:41:49,966
see, I figure I'll be
staying up there tonight.
787
00:41:49,966 --> 00:41:53,470
♪ Oh, by the way ♪
788
00:41:53,470 --> 00:41:57,474
♪ Oh, by the way... ♪
789
00:41:57,474 --> 00:41:59,851
♪ When we meet,
790
00:41:59,851 --> 00:42:03,355
somebody will say... ♪
791
00:42:13,281 --> 00:42:15,951
Murray, who do you know
who's leaving on that boat?
792
00:42:15,951 --> 00:42:18,328
Nobody. I don't get
jealous that way.
793
00:42:18,328 --> 00:42:21,331
Hey, thattaway to go,
Charlie baby, have a great trip!
794
00:42:21,331 --> 00:42:23,333
Bon voyage, Charlie!
795
00:42:23,333 --> 00:42:25,085
That's the way,
have a good trip!
796
00:42:25,085 --> 00:42:27,003
But you see,
it's a great thing to do
797
00:42:27,003 --> 00:42:28,880
when you're about
to start something new,
798
00:42:28,880 --> 00:42:32,259
you see a boat off,
it gives you the genuine feeling
799
00:42:32,259 --> 00:42:34,636
of the beginning of a trip.
800
00:42:34,636 --> 00:42:38,056
Hey, bon voyage, Charlie,
have a wonderful time!
801
00:42:38,056 --> 00:42:46,523
Bon voyage, Charlie,
have a wonderful time!
802
00:42:47,524 --> 00:42:50,527
A wonderful time!
803
00:43:31,443 --> 00:43:34,195
Oh, Wall Street,
it's a lovely view.
804
00:43:34,195 --> 00:43:36,031
To hell with the view.
805
00:43:36,031 --> 00:43:38,700
Right now, at this hour,
806
00:43:38,700 --> 00:43:41,703
it's just me and all that money.
807
00:43:41,703 --> 00:43:46,166
Right now, I'm all alone
with two billion dollars
808
00:43:46,166 --> 00:43:49,628
in cash, checks, and securities.
809
00:43:49,628 --> 00:43:52,589
And me, I'm here too.
810
00:43:55,508 --> 00:43:57,552
Yes, you are, lady.
811
00:44:46,726 --> 00:44:48,812
Ah, light.
812
00:44:52,148 --> 00:44:54,484
Ugh!
813
00:44:59,072 --> 00:45:00,907
No matter what time of day
or what season,
814
00:45:00,907 --> 00:45:03,827
I got a permanent fixture
out there.
815
00:45:03,827 --> 00:45:06,204
It's twilight in February.
816
00:45:06,204 --> 00:45:07,706
Now, one of these mornings,
I'll wake up
817
00:45:07,706 --> 00:45:09,624
and that damn building
will have fallen down
818
00:45:09,624 --> 00:45:14,337
into Seventh Avenue
so I can see the weather.
819
00:45:14,337 --> 00:45:18,258
Uh, using machine
to call up another machine.
820
00:45:18,258 --> 00:45:20,969
I do not enjoy
the company of ghosts.
821
00:45:23,680 --> 00:45:25,348
Hello, weather lady,
well, I'm fine,
822
00:45:25,348 --> 00:45:28,059
and how's your nasal
little self this morning?
823
00:45:28,059 --> 00:45:30,353
What's the weather?
824
00:45:30,353 --> 00:45:32,689
Oh, that high, huh?
825
00:45:32,689 --> 00:45:37,235
And the wind, which way does
the wind blow this morning?
826
00:45:37,235 --> 00:45:42,157
Very good, all the way from
Eastport to Block Island, huh?
827
00:45:42,157 --> 00:45:45,034
Chance of showers?
828
00:45:45,034 --> 00:45:46,619
Say, what exactly
does that mean?
829
00:45:46,619 --> 00:45:48,496
Uh, uh, uh--
830
00:45:48,496 --> 00:45:50,623
There you go again,
you simply must learn
831
00:45:50,623 --> 00:45:52,459
not to repeat yourself.
832
00:45:52,459 --> 00:45:54,711
I keep telling ya every morning
that once is enough.
833
00:45:54,711 --> 00:45:56,713
Ah, you'll never learn.
834
00:45:56,713 --> 00:45:58,923
Chance of showers.
835
00:46:02,719 --> 00:46:05,847
Hello, is this someone
with good news or money?
836
00:46:05,889 --> 00:46:08,099
No? Goodbye.
837
00:46:12,562 --> 00:46:15,356
This is your neighbor speaking.
838
00:46:15,356 --> 00:46:17,233
I'm sure I speak for
all of us when I say
839
00:46:17,233 --> 00:46:19,527
that something must be done
about your garbage cans
840
00:46:19,527 --> 00:46:21,613
in the alley here,
it is definitely
841
00:46:21,613 --> 00:46:23,490
second-rate garbage.
842
00:46:23,490 --> 00:46:27,869
Now, by next week, I want to see
a better class of garbage!
843
00:46:27,869 --> 00:46:31,998
More empty champagne bottles
and caviar cans!
844
00:46:31,998 --> 00:46:34,083
I'm sure you're all
behind me on this,
845
00:46:34,083 --> 00:46:37,837
so let's snap it up
and get on the ball!
846
00:46:48,056 --> 00:46:49,599
Good morning.
847
00:46:51,100 --> 00:46:53,144
Good morning.
848
00:46:53,144 --> 00:46:55,230
How are you this morning?
849
00:46:55,230 --> 00:46:58,024
I am fine this morning,
how are you?
850
00:46:58,024 --> 00:47:00,109
I'm fine also.
851
00:47:02,403 --> 00:47:04,280
You have a bathrobe?
852
00:47:04,280 --> 00:47:06,783
Yes, I have a bathrobe.
853
00:47:06,783 --> 00:47:09,953
May I have your bathrobe,
please?
854
00:47:09,953 --> 00:47:12,956
Well, I'll get you Nick's,
it will fit you better.
855
00:47:12,956 --> 00:47:15,333
Sounds like a good idea.
856
00:47:15,333 --> 00:47:19,462
- There you go.
- Oh, thank you.
857
00:47:19,462 --> 00:47:22,298
Yes...
858
00:47:24,968 --> 00:47:28,596
It's 11:15 and there is
a chance of showers.
859
00:47:33,893 --> 00:47:35,812
Does the bathrobe fit?
860
00:47:35,812 --> 00:47:38,356
This bathrobe fits fine.
861
00:47:42,610 --> 00:47:45,572
Did you happen
to see my clothes?
862
00:47:45,572 --> 00:47:47,282
Oh, uh, they're in the bathroom,
863
00:47:47,282 --> 00:47:49,826
shall I get them?
864
00:47:49,868 --> 00:47:51,828
No, thank you!
865
00:47:55,081 --> 00:47:58,710
This isn't the bathroom,
this is the kitchen.
866
00:47:58,710 --> 00:48:00,587
Here are your clothes,
867
00:48:00,587 --> 00:48:04,132
also toothpaste
and a toothbrush.
868
00:48:04,132 --> 00:48:07,635
Thank you.
869
00:48:07,635 --> 00:48:10,430
- Morning, Murray.
- Good morning, Arnold.
870
00:48:13,141 --> 00:48:16,686
Say, Murray, Chuckles called me
again yesterday
871
00:48:16,686 --> 00:48:21,107
and I told him I would
talk to you, that's all.
872
00:48:21,107 --> 00:48:23,735
Jimmy Sloan's in from the coast.
873
00:48:23,735 --> 00:48:26,070
He's putting a new panel show
package together.
874
00:48:26,070 --> 00:48:29,699
You know, Arnold, you have
many successful clients.
875
00:48:29,699 --> 00:48:31,784
With all these
successful people around,
876
00:48:31,784 --> 00:48:35,747
where are all of our new, young
failures going to come from?
877
00:48:35,747 --> 00:48:38,291
Murray, those people
I saw here yesterday,
878
00:48:38,291 --> 00:48:41,377
they were from the
Welfare Board, is that right?
879
00:48:41,377 --> 00:48:43,046
- Now I tried to warn you--
- Now, there's nothing
880
00:48:43,046 --> 00:48:44,631
-to worry about.
- What are you saying,
881
00:48:44,631 --> 00:48:46,466
there's nothing to worry--
the welfare people
882
00:48:46,466 --> 00:48:49,218
-don't kid around, now do they?
- Arnold, I don't mind you
883
00:48:49,218 --> 00:48:51,554
coming here with fruit
if you'll keep quite,
884
00:48:51,554 --> 00:48:54,182
but you bring a word
with every apple.
885
00:48:54,182 --> 00:48:56,851
Oh.
886
00:48:56,851 --> 00:49:00,063
- Is Nick all right?
- Everything's okay.
887
00:49:00,063 --> 00:49:02,899
- Bye, Murray.
- Bye, Arnold.
888
00:49:25,463 --> 00:49:27,131
You know, yesterday
was the first time
889
00:49:27,131 --> 00:49:31,594
that I had ever visited
the Statue of Liberty.
890
00:49:31,594 --> 00:49:34,430
Funny how you can live
in a city for so long
891
00:49:34,472 --> 00:49:37,392
and not visit one of
its most fascinating sites.
892
00:49:39,519 --> 00:49:42,271
Yes, that is funny.
893
00:49:50,071 --> 00:49:52,281
Oh.
894
00:50:02,750 --> 00:50:04,669
Hmm.
895
00:50:04,669 --> 00:50:07,130
This coffee isn't bad
for yesterday's coffee.
896
00:50:07,130 --> 00:50:11,968
Oh, oh, I think it's very good
for yesterday's coffee, mm.
897
00:50:21,394 --> 00:50:24,439
Good to the last drop.
898
00:50:24,439 --> 00:50:27,567
That's right, that's right.
899
00:50:31,279 --> 00:50:34,657
- I have to go now.
- Oh?
900
00:50:35,658 --> 00:50:37,660
Yes.
901
00:50:37,660 --> 00:50:40,246
I have to be on my way.
902
00:50:42,415 --> 00:50:44,459
But--well, don't forget
your files.
903
00:50:44,459 --> 00:50:47,920
Oh, oh, my files.
904
00:50:54,886 --> 00:50:57,638
- Goodbye.
- Goodbye.
905
00:51:00,266 --> 00:51:02,977
Yes, hm, hm...
906
00:51:07,106 --> 00:51:09,859
You crazy nut,
I was ready to kill you.
907
00:51:09,859 --> 00:51:12,028
What happened,
you didn't say anything.
908
00:51:12,028 --> 00:51:14,363
Well, I didn't know
what was going on.
909
00:51:14,363 --> 00:51:15,865
- Don't let me go!
- I'm just putting
910
00:51:15,865 --> 00:51:19,827
my coffee cup down here.
911
00:51:19,827 --> 00:51:22,371
Murray, I thought about it,
912
00:51:22,371 --> 00:51:25,625
and I probably love you.
913
00:51:25,625 --> 00:51:28,044
That's very romantic.
914
00:51:31,255 --> 00:51:33,716
I probably love you too.
915
00:53:59,654 --> 00:54:02,531
Mm, argh!
916
00:54:02,531 --> 00:54:04,033
We'll have to do something
about curtains,
917
00:54:04,033 --> 00:54:06,410
we need color there, Murray.
918
00:54:06,410 --> 00:54:08,537
I hope you didn't mind
about the screen around the bed,
919
00:54:08,537 --> 00:54:11,374
I think it give such a nice
separate bedroom effect
920
00:54:11,374 --> 00:54:13,209
to that side of the room.
921
00:54:13,209 --> 00:54:15,628
Oh, there's so many wonderful
things you can do
922
00:54:15,628 --> 00:54:18,005
with a one-room apartment.
923
00:54:18,005 --> 00:54:21,259
Really, if you're willing
to use your imagination.
924
00:54:21,259 --> 00:54:23,010
Ohh...
925
00:54:24,512 --> 00:54:26,847
Do you have an extra key?
926
00:54:26,889 --> 00:54:29,016
- A what?
- An extra key.
927
00:54:29,016 --> 00:54:31,185
Altman's has this
terrific curtain sale.
928
00:54:31,185 --> 00:54:33,604
Yeah, oh, oh sure a key, uh...
929
00:54:33,604 --> 00:54:36,607
I thought I would go over and--
930
00:54:36,607 --> 00:54:38,359
You know what, Sandy?
931
00:54:38,359 --> 00:54:41,320
I don't seem to have one--
an extra key.
932
00:54:47,034 --> 00:54:49,203
You better answer that, Murray.
933
00:54:49,203 --> 00:54:52,206
Oh, you sure you don't
prefer to, uh--
934
00:54:52,206 --> 00:54:54,875
No, I have no reason
to hide from anybody.
935
00:54:54,875 --> 00:54:57,211
Ah-ha.
936
00:55:01,048 --> 00:55:03,301
Good morning, Mr. Burns.
937
00:55:08,014 --> 00:55:09,682
How are you?
938
00:55:09,682 --> 00:55:11,767
- May I come in?
- Sure.
939
00:55:15,104 --> 00:55:18,274
I--I called you this morning,
Mr. Burns.
940
00:55:18,274 --> 00:55:22,194
- Oh, that was you.
- It was me.
941
00:55:22,194 --> 00:55:25,156
Miss Markowitz did not show up
in Queens yesterday.
942
00:55:25,156 --> 00:55:26,782
So.
943
00:55:26,782 --> 00:55:29,952
Well, her parents
are quite upset.
944
00:55:29,952 --> 00:55:32,455
I am quite upset.
945
00:55:32,455 --> 00:55:35,207
- Where is she?
- She's hiding in the closet.
946
00:55:37,043 --> 00:55:39,128
Now, we're really
all quite anxious to know
947
00:55:39,128 --> 00:55:42,798
where she is.
948
00:55:42,798 --> 00:55:46,177
I'm not kidding, Albert,
she's in the closet.
949
00:56:04,779 --> 00:56:06,655
She is in the closet.
950
00:56:06,655 --> 00:56:08,657
I wouldn't lie to you, Albert.
951
00:56:10,701 --> 00:56:12,620
Why is she in the closet?
952
00:56:12,620 --> 00:56:16,123
I don't know, uh, she's got
this thing about closets.
953
00:56:18,334 --> 00:56:21,379
Well, that's a very silly thing
for her to be in,
954
00:56:21,379 --> 00:56:22,880
that closet.
955
00:56:22,880 --> 00:56:25,466
Well, don't knock it
until you've tried it.
956
00:56:25,466 --> 00:56:29,303
Now, uh, what else
can I do for you, Albert?
957
00:56:29,303 --> 00:56:32,139
That's a difficult thing
for me to believe.
958
00:56:32,139 --> 00:56:36,143
I mean, that she's right there
in the closet.
959
00:56:36,143 --> 00:56:38,145
You know, you are not a person,
Mr. Burns,
960
00:56:38,145 --> 00:56:41,190
you are an experience.
961
00:56:41,190 --> 00:56:44,610
Very nice, Albert,
I'll have to remember that.
962
00:56:48,989 --> 00:56:52,368
Uh, actually, Dr. Markowitz
is not the reason
963
00:56:52,368 --> 00:56:54,578
for my visit today.
964
00:56:54,578 --> 00:56:56,956
I came here in
an official capacity.
965
00:56:56,956 --> 00:56:58,416
Coffee?
966
00:56:58,416 --> 00:57:00,584
No, thank you.
967
00:57:15,391 --> 00:57:18,936
Ah, now what's on your mind,
Albert?
968
00:57:23,315 --> 00:57:25,401
Uh, Burns...
969
00:57:25,401 --> 00:57:28,028
Late yesterday afternoon,
970
00:57:28,028 --> 00:57:30,156
the Child Welfare Board
971
00:57:30,156 --> 00:57:32,783
made a decision on your case.
972
00:57:32,783 --> 00:57:36,454
Now, uh, the decision
they've reached is based on
973
00:57:36,454 --> 00:57:39,582
three months
of a thorough study.
974
00:57:39,582 --> 00:57:42,376
Our interview yesterday
was only a small part of that,
975
00:57:43,961 --> 00:57:46,464
quite thorough.
976
00:57:48,382 --> 00:57:49,717
I want you to understand,
977
00:57:49,717 --> 00:57:52,094
that I am not responsible
personally
978
00:57:52,094 --> 00:57:53,637
for the decision
they've reached.
979
00:57:53,637 --> 00:57:55,890
- Now look, Albert--
- Months of research
980
00:57:55,931 --> 00:57:59,351
by the board and reports
by the Revere School
981
00:57:59,351 --> 00:58:02,354
show a severe
domestic instability,
982
00:58:02,354 --> 00:58:05,107
a libertine self-indulgence,
983
00:58:05,107 --> 00:58:07,818
a whole range of circumstances
severely detrimental
984
00:58:07,818 --> 00:58:09,320
to the child's welfare.
985
00:58:09,320 --> 00:58:12,573
Hey, stop tap-dancing a second,
Albert.
986
00:58:12,573 --> 00:58:15,034
Now, what's going on?
987
00:58:15,034 --> 00:58:17,369
Well, it is the board's decision
that you are unfit
988
00:58:17,369 --> 00:58:19,663
to be the guardian
of your nephew
989
00:58:19,663 --> 00:58:21,582
and that action be taken
this Friday
990
00:58:21,582 --> 00:58:24,043
to remove him from this home
991
00:58:24,043 --> 00:58:26,587
and the deprivation
you cause him.
992
00:58:28,214 --> 00:58:32,301
Who writes your material
for you, Charles Dickens?
993
00:58:32,301 --> 00:58:35,346
The board is prepared
to find a more stable,
994
00:58:35,346 --> 00:58:37,598
permanent home for your nephew,
995
00:58:37,640 --> 00:58:42,019
a family with whom he will live
a more wholesome, normal life.
996
00:58:42,019 --> 00:58:45,314
Hey, listen, Albert, isn't there
some kind of a hearing?
997
00:58:45,314 --> 00:58:48,234
Well, yes, you will have
the opportunity Thursday
998
00:58:48,234 --> 00:58:50,277
to state your case to the board.
999
00:58:50,277 --> 00:58:53,072
Now, if there is some
substantial change
1000
00:58:53,072 --> 00:58:56,450
in your circumstances,
if you can demonstrate
1001
00:58:56,450 --> 00:58:59,370
that you are a responsible
member of society--
1002
00:58:59,370 --> 00:59:01,288
Well, this is Tuesday, what
the hell am I supposed to do
1003
00:59:01,288 --> 00:59:04,458
in the next two days,
win the Nobel Peace Prize?
1004
00:59:07,044 --> 00:59:08,963
You were to be informed
by the court,
1005
00:59:08,963 --> 00:59:13,300
but in view of the confusion
which took place here yesterday,
1006
00:59:13,300 --> 00:59:15,427
for which I consider
myself responsible--
1007
00:59:15,427 --> 00:59:17,346
You know, you speak
like you write everything down
1008
00:59:17,346 --> 00:59:20,766
before you say it.
1009
00:59:20,766 --> 00:59:24,520
Well, yes, I do speak that way,
Mr. Burns.
1010
00:59:24,520 --> 00:59:27,273
I wish I spoke
more spontaneously.
1011
00:59:29,024 --> 00:59:31,277
I will always appear foolish
in a conversation
1012
00:59:31,277 --> 00:59:33,195
with a person
of your imagination.
1013
00:59:35,614 --> 00:59:37,449
Please, understand
1014
00:59:37,449 --> 00:59:41,203
there is no vengeance
in my activities here.
1015
00:59:41,203 --> 00:59:44,123
I love my work, Mr. Burns.
1016
00:59:44,123 --> 00:59:47,501
Now, I believe that you are
a danger to this child.
1017
00:59:47,501 --> 00:59:49,420
- Oh, now.
- Now, I wish this were not true,
1018
00:59:49,420 --> 00:59:52,756
because it is obvious
you have considerable affection
1019
00:59:52,756 --> 00:59:54,508
for your nephew.
1020
00:59:54,508 --> 00:59:56,927
It shows in your face,
this feeling.
1021
00:59:59,138 --> 01:00:02,433
Well, I admire you
for your warmth, Mr. Burns,
1022
01:00:02,474 --> 01:00:05,185
and for the affection
the child feels for you.
1023
01:00:05,185 --> 01:00:08,564
I admire this because
I am one for whom children
1024
01:00:08,564 --> 01:00:12,443
do not easily feel affection.
1025
01:00:12,443 --> 01:00:17,031
I am not one of the warm people.
1026
01:00:17,031 --> 01:00:20,034
But your feeling for the child
does not mollify
1027
01:00:20,034 --> 01:00:23,370
the genuinely dangerous,
emotional climate
1028
01:00:23,370 --> 01:00:24,788
you have made for him.
1029
01:00:24,788 --> 01:00:27,082
Now, I wish you could
understand this.
1030
01:00:27,082 --> 01:00:28,709
I would so much rather
you understood,
1031
01:00:28,709 --> 01:00:32,004
could really hear
what I have to say,
1032
01:00:32,004 --> 01:00:33,756
for yours is, I believe,
1033
01:00:33,756 --> 01:00:36,592
a distorted picture
of this world.
1034
01:00:38,260 --> 01:00:40,929
Then why don't you send me
to a foster home?
1035
01:00:43,891 --> 01:00:46,894
I was right, you really can't
listen to me.
1036
01:00:46,894 --> 01:00:49,480
You're so sure of your sight.
1037
01:00:49,480 --> 01:00:54,401
Your villains and heroes are
all so terribly clear to you.
1038
01:00:54,401 --> 01:00:57,488
And I am obviously
one of the villains.
1039
01:01:02,660 --> 01:01:05,996
Well, God save you
from your vision, Mr. Burns.
1040
01:01:13,879 --> 01:01:16,006
Good bye.
1041
01:01:29,770 --> 01:01:31,271
Hey!
1042
01:01:31,271 --> 01:01:32,940
I'll bet you don't believe
I really do live
1043
01:01:32,940 --> 01:01:36,276
above an abandoned
Chinese restaurant, huh?
1044
01:01:36,276 --> 01:01:37,903
- Come on, I'll show it to you.
- Murray.
1045
01:01:37,903 --> 01:01:40,447
Don't be nervous, lady,
you're at an awkward stage,
1046
01:01:40,447 --> 01:01:44,118
-you're between closets.
- Murray, what Albert said
1047
01:01:44,118 --> 01:01:46,245
-about Nick...
- Now, look, Sandy, to tell you
1048
01:01:46,245 --> 01:01:49,456
the truth, it's even better
for me if he goes.
1049
01:01:49,456 --> 01:01:52,126
I mean, he's a middle-aged kid.
1050
01:01:53,919 --> 01:01:55,754
You know, when I signed
with the network that time,
1051
01:01:55,754 --> 01:01:58,590
he sat up all night figuring out
the fringe benefits
1052
01:01:58,590 --> 01:02:00,718
and the pension plan.
1053
01:02:00,718 --> 01:02:05,139
And he started to make lists
this year,
1054
01:02:05,139 --> 01:02:07,057
lists of everything!
1055
01:02:07,057 --> 01:02:09,268
Subway stops, underwear,
1056
01:02:09,268 --> 01:02:11,061
what he's gonna do next week.
1057
01:02:11,061 --> 01:02:12,646
I told him
if he doesn't watch out,
1058
01:02:12,646 --> 01:02:14,398
he's gonna start making lists
of what he's gonna do next year
1059
01:02:14,398 --> 01:02:16,608
and for the next ten years.
1060
01:02:18,527 --> 01:02:20,154
Hey.
1061
01:02:20,154 --> 01:02:22,281
Suppose they put him in
1062
01:02:22,281 --> 01:02:24,366
with a whole family
1063
01:02:24,366 --> 01:02:27,119
of lists makers--no, no,
I didn't spend six years
1064
01:02:27,119 --> 01:02:29,997
with him so he'd turn into
a list maker.
1065
01:02:29,997 --> 01:02:33,917
He'll learn to know
everything before it happens.
1066
01:02:33,917 --> 01:02:35,919
He'll learn how to plan!
1067
01:02:35,919 --> 01:02:39,089
Learn how to be one
of the nice dead people.
1068
01:02:40,883 --> 01:02:43,343
- Are you listening to me?
- Of course, Murray, I told you--
1069
01:02:43,343 --> 01:02:45,846
Well, then stamp your foot
or mutter or something
1070
01:02:45,846 --> 01:02:47,848
so I'll know you're there,
will you?
1071
01:02:47,890 --> 01:02:51,101
I want to be sure he knows when
he's chickening out on himself.
1072
01:02:52,728 --> 01:02:54,897
I want him to get to know
the special thing he is,
1073
01:02:54,897 --> 01:02:58,609
or else he won't notice it
when it starts to go.
1074
01:02:58,609 --> 01:03:01,737
I want him to stay awake
and know who the phonies are!
1075
01:03:01,737 --> 01:03:04,990
I want him to know how to holler
and put up an argument.
1076
01:03:04,990 --> 01:03:09,328
I want a little guts to show
before I can let him go.
1077
01:03:09,328 --> 01:03:13,916
I want to be sure he sees
all the wild possibilities.
1078
01:03:13,916 --> 01:03:15,834
I want him to know
it's worth all the trouble
1079
01:03:15,834 --> 01:03:17,920
just to give the world
a little goosing
1080
01:03:17,920 --> 01:03:21,548
once you get the chance.
1081
01:03:21,548 --> 01:03:24,426
I want him to know the sneaky,
1082
01:03:24,426 --> 01:03:28,972
subtle, important reason
1083
01:03:28,972 --> 01:03:32,518
he was born a human being
1084
01:03:32,518 --> 01:03:35,103
and not a chair.
1085
01:03:37,856 --> 01:03:40,150
Hey, I, uh, brought you
all the way down here,
1086
01:03:40,150 --> 01:03:41,902
I didn't even show you
the restaurant.
1087
01:03:41,902 --> 01:03:45,239
Hey, the original Lum Fars
Oriental Paradise,
1088
01:03:45,239 --> 01:03:47,324
rear door.
1089
01:03:47,324 --> 01:03:50,369
It's a shame they closed it,
something to do with
1090
01:03:50,369 --> 01:03:53,705
not being recognized
by the United Nations.
1091
01:03:56,291 --> 01:03:57,709
Sandy, I don't want him to go!
1092
01:03:57,709 --> 01:04:00,379
I like having him around here.
1093
01:04:01,588 --> 01:04:04,049
What'll I do, Sandy?
Help me out.
1094
01:04:05,759 --> 01:04:08,846
You see...
1095
01:04:08,846 --> 01:04:12,307
I like when he reads me
from the want ads.
1096
01:04:15,143 --> 01:04:19,022
Don't worry, Murray,
we will do something.
1097
01:04:19,022 --> 01:04:21,191
I know the board,
their procedures,
1098
01:04:21,191 --> 01:04:23,735
there are things we can do.
1099
01:04:28,156 --> 01:04:30,826
What I'll do is I'll, uh...
1100
01:04:30,826 --> 01:04:32,995
I'll buy a new suit.
1101
01:04:32,995 --> 01:04:36,623
First thing is to get
a dignified suit.
1102
01:04:36,623 --> 01:04:40,836
If you could just get
some kind of job, Murray.
1103
01:04:40,836 --> 01:04:42,838
- Get your brother to help you.
- Yeah, right, right.
1104
01:04:42,838 --> 01:04:44,673
Is there something
you could get in a hurry?
1105
01:04:44,673 --> 01:04:47,509
Yeah, one of those summer suits
with the ready-made cuffs.
1106
01:04:47,509 --> 01:04:49,511
No--a job.
1107
01:04:49,511 --> 01:04:52,014
If you could just bring
some proof of employment
1108
01:04:52,014 --> 01:04:53,599
to the hearing, Murray,
1109
01:04:53,640 --> 01:04:55,809
show them how anxious
you are to change,
1110
01:04:55,809 --> 01:04:58,604
show them you want
to be reliable!
1111
01:05:00,856 --> 01:05:02,399
Yeah!
1112
01:05:02,399 --> 01:05:04,109
Reliable!
1113
01:05:05,777 --> 01:05:08,864
Sandy, we will put on a great
damn show for them,
1114
01:05:08,864 --> 01:05:11,325
spectacular reliability!
1115
01:05:11,325 --> 01:05:14,077
A reliability parade--
bands, floats, banners,
1116
01:05:14,077 --> 01:05:16,288
everything!
1117
01:05:20,125 --> 01:05:23,253
Great, keep that laugh,
I'll need it later.
1118
01:05:30,427 --> 01:05:33,138
Hello, Margot? Murray.
1119
01:05:33,138 --> 01:05:35,223
Oh. Well, when Arnie comes in,
1120
01:05:35,265 --> 01:05:38,060
tell him I need a job
in a hurry, huh?
1121
01:05:38,060 --> 01:05:39,895
Yeah, tell him to set up
some appointments for lunch
1122
01:05:39,895 --> 01:05:41,897
and straight through
the afternoon, if he can.
1123
01:05:41,897 --> 01:05:43,398
Tell him the people
he mentioned this morning,
1124
01:05:43,398 --> 01:05:46,151
whoever can see me today
right away, okay?
1125
01:05:46,151 --> 01:05:48,654
Yeah, I'll call him back later.
1126
01:05:48,654 --> 01:05:51,531
All right, thanks, Margot, bye!
1127
01:05:51,531 --> 01:05:53,450
Hey, Sandy, I'm gonna buy
a new suit now.
1128
01:05:53,450 --> 01:05:55,494
Can I come with you?
I'd love to watch you buy one!
1129
01:05:55,494 --> 01:05:58,330
No, you better not,
Sandy, I gotta move fast.
1130
01:05:58,330 --> 01:06:01,333
- You wait for me upstairs, huh?
- Oh.
1131
01:06:03,752 --> 01:06:07,297
- Here's a key for ya.
- Thank you.
1132
01:06:07,297 --> 01:06:10,842
- Look, don't go away, huh?
- Oh, no, oh, Murray.
1133
01:06:12,135 --> 01:06:14,096
- Say, "Good luck."
- Good luck.
1134
01:06:14,096 --> 01:06:16,264
Say, "You are a magnificent
human being."
1135
01:06:16,306 --> 01:06:18,767
You are a magnificent
human being.
1136
01:06:18,767 --> 01:06:20,769
I thought you'd notice.
1137
01:06:42,541 --> 01:06:44,209
Mom!
1138
01:06:44,209 --> 01:06:46,837
Oh, I know you must've been
going out of your mind,
1139
01:06:46,837 --> 01:06:48,880
and I'm sorry, Mom,
but I'm calling you now
1140
01:06:48,880 --> 01:06:52,050
to tell you some--
some wonderful news.
1141
01:07:03,812 --> 01:07:05,897
Oh-ha, oh, it's a--
1142
01:07:05,897 --> 01:07:08,650
it's a really basic
relationship.
1143
01:07:08,650 --> 01:07:11,361
I'm so--so in love with him,
1144
01:07:11,361 --> 01:07:15,073
and I'm so very happy!
1145
01:07:15,073 --> 01:07:17,951
Well, what do you mean,
what do I mean "happy"?
1146
01:08:05,832 --> 01:08:07,918
Um, well, I mean...
1147
01:08:07,918 --> 01:08:11,129
well, you know, uh, happy.
1148
01:08:35,403 --> 01:08:38,490
I got a great new
panel show package.
1149
01:08:38,490 --> 01:08:41,326
All ad lib, you'll be
the permanent member
1150
01:08:41,326 --> 01:08:45,247
on the panel, every afternoon
just talk, no sweat.
1151
01:08:46,998 --> 01:08:50,418
Great running bit
for you on the show.
1152
01:08:50,418 --> 01:08:54,047
- What's that?
- Honesty.
1153
01:08:54,047 --> 01:08:56,299
Absolute honesty.
1154
01:08:56,299 --> 01:08:58,051
The minute you come on,
the first thing that comes
1155
01:08:58,051 --> 01:08:59,886
to your cockamamie head.
1156
01:09:01,429 --> 01:09:03,181
Great TV.
1157
01:09:03,223 --> 01:09:05,892
You be you, a big nut.
1158
01:09:05,892 --> 01:09:09,229
Have you decided on
your luncheon order, sir?
1159
01:09:09,229 --> 01:09:13,233
Yes, I'll have a hamburger
and a flashlight.
1160
01:09:17,320 --> 01:09:20,866
Beautiful, beautiful.
1161
01:09:20,866 --> 01:09:23,034
Oh, you'll be nutsy crazy,
1162
01:09:23,034 --> 01:09:24,953
the audience will love you,
Murray.
1163
01:09:24,953 --> 01:09:27,205
A big, lovable eccentric.
1164
01:09:27,205 --> 01:09:29,666
I'll put you on
just the way you are,
1165
01:09:29,666 --> 01:09:32,627
a natural phenomenon
like the Grand Canyon.
1166
01:09:32,627 --> 01:09:34,337
You'll have that crazy,
nutsy face
1167
01:09:34,337 --> 01:09:37,424
and that cockamamie talk.
1168
01:09:37,424 --> 01:09:39,342
Beautiful.
1169
01:09:39,342 --> 01:09:41,970
Love--the audience
will love you, Murray.
1170
01:09:43,722 --> 01:09:45,891
Murray?
1171
01:10:05,911 --> 01:10:10,123
Mother, now, there's nothing
for you to cry about.
1172
01:10:11,458 --> 01:10:14,544
Guts, guts!
1173
01:10:14,544 --> 01:10:16,379
See I told Arnie
I wanted to see you
1174
01:10:16,379 --> 01:10:19,799
because this new series is
going to need a guts attitude.
1175
01:10:19,799 --> 01:10:22,427
Courage kind of thing.
1176
01:10:22,427 --> 01:10:24,221
I woulda run from a writer
with your rep,
1177
01:10:24,221 --> 01:10:27,182
but uh, I'm a gambler, Burns.
1178
01:10:27,182 --> 01:10:30,810
Insecurity excited me.
1179
01:10:30,810 --> 01:10:32,479
Going for a big one this fall,
1180
01:10:32,479 --> 01:10:34,981
series will be really human,
you know, kind of thing,
1181
01:10:34,981 --> 01:10:37,525
sort of a--well, of our time!
1182
01:10:37,525 --> 01:10:41,821
Quality concepts,
area of Kafka, symbolism,
1183
01:10:41,821 --> 01:10:45,700
literate, Chekhovian
sort of thing.
1184
01:10:45,700 --> 01:10:48,370
We're calling it
Homicide Squad.
1185
01:10:48,370 --> 01:10:52,415
Now, I'm just spitballing here,
you know,
1186
01:10:52,415 --> 01:10:55,168
I got a gut reaction,
but each week,
1187
01:10:55,168 --> 01:10:58,088
we ought to be able to get in
about ten minutes
1188
01:10:58,088 --> 01:11:00,382
of moral message, you know?
1189
01:11:00,382 --> 01:11:02,842
Race relations thing,
world peace thing,
1190
01:11:02,842 --> 01:11:05,470
understanding brings love thing,
1191
01:11:05,470 --> 01:11:07,681
love brings understanding--
controversy a bit, you know,
1192
01:11:07,681 --> 01:11:10,642
tough, you know,
but, uh, warm.
1193
01:12:26,509 --> 01:12:28,845
Uh-huh, mm-hm.
1194
01:12:28,845 --> 01:12:31,348
You walked out
of the restaurant, huh?
1195
01:12:31,348 --> 01:12:33,016
Sloan makes you an offer
1196
01:12:33,058 --> 01:12:36,811
and you walk out
of the restaurant.
1197
01:12:36,811 --> 01:12:39,397
- Murray--
- Arnie, I can't get over
1198
01:12:39,397 --> 01:12:45,153
this office,
the 22nd floor, whoa!
1199
01:12:45,153 --> 01:12:47,697
Ah, you can see everything!
1200
01:12:49,449 --> 01:12:51,910
Oh, for God's sake,
I don't believe it.
1201
01:12:51,910 --> 01:12:53,828
- What?
-It's King Kong,
1202
01:12:53,828 --> 01:12:56,081
he's sitting on top of
the Time-Life Building,
1203
01:12:56,081 --> 01:13:00,210
seems to be crying,
oh, poor gorilla bastard,
1204
01:13:00,210 --> 01:13:01,920
somebody should've told him
they don't make
1205
01:13:01,920 --> 01:13:03,546
these buildings
the way they used to.
1206
01:13:03,546 --> 01:13:05,715
Murray, Sloan didn't make you
such a bad offer--
1207
01:13:05,715 --> 01:13:07,842
Sloan is an idiot.
1208
01:13:07,842 --> 01:13:10,178
I've got news for you, cookie,
with your situation this week,
1209
01:13:10,178 --> 01:13:12,263
you're gonna need idiots,
now, you do not have the time--
1210
01:13:12,263 --> 01:13:14,057
Now, Arnie,
you shouldn't holler at me,
1211
01:13:14,057 --> 01:13:16,851
- I brought you a present!
- Murray!
1212
01:13:23,108 --> 01:13:25,652
And that other fella
you sent me to
1213
01:13:25,652 --> 01:13:28,113
with the TV series--
a killer, Arnie,
1214
01:13:28,113 --> 01:13:32,367
I saw notches
on his attaché case.
1215
01:13:32,367 --> 01:13:34,911
Murray, you've got
a rotten reputation.
1216
01:13:34,911 --> 01:13:38,456
Even these guys
weren't easy to grab.
1217
01:13:38,456 --> 01:13:40,583
Why do you have to build
your own personal blacklist?
1218
01:13:40,583 --> 01:13:42,794
Why can't you just get
blacklisted as a Communist,
1219
01:13:42,794 --> 01:13:45,755
like everybody else?
1220
01:13:45,755 --> 01:13:48,591
What did you do to him?
1221
01:13:48,591 --> 01:13:51,469
Or you just left him
standing there?
1222
01:13:57,475 --> 01:14:00,603
You just left him
standing there?
1223
01:14:04,232 --> 01:14:07,068
Arnie, Arnie, it was beautiful!
1224
01:14:08,903 --> 01:14:10,530
Oh, I would've loved
to have seen that,
1225
01:14:10,530 --> 01:14:12,949
it must've been great.
1226
01:14:12,949 --> 01:14:18,371
W--what, oh, wish to God
1227
01:14:18,371 --> 01:14:21,249
I didn't enjoy you so much.
1228
01:14:21,249 --> 01:14:24,210
I don't do you any damn good
at all, do I?
1229
01:14:25,962 --> 01:14:27,881
All right, come on, Murray,
no more fun and games
1230
01:14:27,881 --> 01:14:29,507
with Leo, do you understand?
1231
01:14:29,507 --> 01:14:32,677
He's absolutely all we have left
before the hearing Thursday.
1232
01:14:32,677 --> 01:14:34,929
Don't worry, Arn, I figured
I could always go back
1233
01:14:34,929 --> 01:14:36,473
with Chuckles the Chipmunk.
1234
01:14:36,473 --> 01:14:38,558
All right, Murray.
1235
01:14:38,558 --> 01:14:43,354
Margot, get me Leo Herman
on the speakerphone.
1236
01:14:43,354 --> 01:14:46,024
Well, Leo won't be so bad
for a while.
1237
01:14:46,024 --> 01:14:49,402
Oh, Murray, now,
not for a while.
1238
01:14:49,402 --> 01:14:51,070
You're gonna have
to stick with Chuckles.
1239
01:14:51,070 --> 01:14:53,823
Now, my agency lawyer
gave me all the facts.
1240
01:14:53,823 --> 01:14:55,617
The most the board
will allow you
1241
01:14:55,617 --> 01:14:58,536
is a probationary year
with Nick, a trial period,
1242
01:14:58,536 --> 01:15:00,246
and the board's investigators
are going to be
1243
01:15:00,246 --> 01:15:02,999
checking up on you every week,
regularly.
1244
01:15:02,999 --> 01:15:05,376
Checking to see that
you still have your job,
1245
01:15:05,376 --> 01:15:07,712
checking with Leo
on your stability,
1246
01:15:07,712 --> 01:15:10,590
checking up on the improvements
in your home environment.
1247
01:15:13,009 --> 01:15:16,471
Sounds--sounds like
a parole board.
1248
01:15:16,471 --> 01:15:19,265
Yes, it certainly does.
1249
01:15:19,265 --> 01:15:22,393
Kid-a-roonies,
1250
01:15:22,393 --> 01:15:24,771
you take it from your old buddy,
1251
01:15:24,771 --> 01:15:27,273
your old Chipper-munk, Chuckles.
1252
01:15:27,273 --> 01:15:30,318
If your get-up-and-go
has got up and left,
1253
01:15:30,318 --> 01:15:33,363
just one ten-cent bag
of these Crispy Chuckle Chips
1254
01:15:33,363 --> 01:15:35,323
will give you that
1255
01:15:35,323 --> 01:15:38,743
"barrel of monkeys boat is
never sunky" feeling again.
1256
01:15:38,743 --> 01:15:43,164
- What do you say, kids?
- Yay!
1257
01:15:43,164 --> 01:15:45,291
George, is that a "yay"?
1258
01:15:45,291 --> 01:15:47,293
What kind of a "yay" is that?
1259
01:15:47,293 --> 01:15:50,088
I ask for a "yay,"
you give me a death rattle.
1260
01:15:50,088 --> 01:15:51,714
Come on, look, if you're gonna
rehearse a "yay,"
1261
01:15:51,714 --> 01:15:53,258
rehearse a "yay."
1262
01:15:53,258 --> 01:15:54,676
Okay, let's have it again, kids.
1263
01:15:54,676 --> 01:15:56,553
Yay!
1264
01:15:56,553 --> 01:15:59,973
Death. We're dying.
1265
01:15:59,973 --> 01:16:01,933
With that kind of a "yay,"
the show is dying.
1266
01:16:01,975 --> 01:16:03,893
That's why the show is dying,
the kids don't have
1267
01:16:03,893 --> 01:16:05,645
a "yay" attitude.
1268
01:16:05,645 --> 01:16:09,524
Dead-dying dead, death,
dying dead.
1269
01:16:09,524 --> 01:16:11,609
- Call for you, Mr. Herman.
- What is that?
1270
01:16:11,609 --> 01:16:15,321
It's a telephone,
Arnold Burns' office calling.
1271
01:16:15,321 --> 01:16:17,448
Great, wonderful, wonderful.
1272
01:16:17,448 --> 01:16:19,701
Hello, Arnie.
Here I am, here he is!
1273
01:16:19,701 --> 01:16:21,536
You got my voice coming out
of that speakerphone
1274
01:16:21,536 --> 01:16:23,705
in your office right,
am I coming through?
1275
01:16:23,705 --> 01:16:26,374
- Am I coming through there?
- Clearly, Leo.
1276
01:16:26,374 --> 01:16:28,585
- Murray's here.
- Murray, Murray,
1277
01:16:28,585 --> 01:16:31,129
the wonderful wild man!
1278
01:16:31,129 --> 01:16:34,424
Hey, kid-a-roonies, looks like
your old Uncle Murray's
1279
01:16:34,424 --> 01:16:36,759
coming back to write
some of those wonderful
1280
01:16:36,759 --> 01:16:38,970
script-a-roonies for us again.
1281
01:16:38,970 --> 01:16:40,805
What do you say, kids?
1282
01:16:40,805 --> 01:16:42,432
Yay!
1283
01:16:44,017 --> 01:16:46,978
Murray, what did you do,
the job,
1284
01:16:46,978 --> 01:16:48,646
the hearing, what--
1285
01:17:00,950 --> 01:17:03,953
♪ Dah-dah, dah-dah-dah-bum ♪
1286
01:17:03,953 --> 01:17:07,665
♪ Dah-dah, dah-dah-dah-dum ♪
1287
01:17:36,778 --> 01:17:38,946
Well, say, did you do all this?
1288
01:17:38,946 --> 01:17:41,407
Yeah, Nick, do you like it?
1289
01:17:41,407 --> 01:17:43,368
Well, I think it's superb.
1290
01:17:43,368 --> 01:17:47,372
I mean, imagine my surprise
when I saw it.
1291
01:17:47,372 --> 01:17:49,957
Murray went downtown
to see your Uncle Arnold,
1292
01:17:49,957 --> 01:17:53,378
-he's going to get a job!
- No kidding!
1293
01:17:53,378 --> 01:17:57,173
Hey, that's terrific,
that's just terrific!
1294
01:17:57,173 --> 01:18:01,302
See, lady, he was developing
into a bum.
1295
01:18:01,302 --> 01:18:03,304
I mean, you don't want to see
someone you like
1296
01:18:03,304 --> 01:18:06,599
developing into a burn
and doing nutty things.
1297
01:18:06,599 --> 01:18:08,643
You know what he does?
1298
01:18:08,643 --> 01:18:10,770
He hollers.
1299
01:18:10,770 --> 01:18:13,773
Like, we were on Park Avenue
last Sunday
1300
01:18:13,773 --> 01:18:15,566
and it's very early
in the morning,
1301
01:18:15,566 --> 01:18:17,235
there's no one in the streets,
see,
1302
01:18:17,235 --> 01:18:20,405
just all these big,
quiet apartment houses,
1303
01:18:20,405 --> 01:18:25,326
and he hollers,
"Rich people, I want to see you
1304
01:18:25,326 --> 01:18:28,037
all out on the street
for volleyball,
1305
01:18:28,037 --> 01:18:30,456
let's snap it up!"
1306
01:18:30,456 --> 01:18:31,916
And, you know,
sometimes if we were in
1307
01:18:31,916 --> 01:18:34,085
a crowded elevator someplace,
1308
01:18:34,085 --> 01:18:35,503
he'll turn to me
and he'll say,
1309
01:18:35,503 --> 01:18:40,883
"Max, there'll be no more
of this self-pity.
1310
01:18:40,883 --> 01:18:42,468
Now, you're 40.
1311
01:18:42,468 --> 01:18:46,264
It's time you got used
to being a midget."
1312
01:18:46,264 --> 01:18:48,599
And everybody stares.
1313
01:18:48,641 --> 01:18:50,852
He has a wonderful time.
1314
01:18:50,852 --> 01:18:54,689
What are you gonna do with
someone who hollers like that?
1315
01:18:54,689 --> 01:18:58,067
You know, last week in Macy's
he did that.
1316
01:18:58,067 --> 01:19:01,320
Well, if you want
to know the truth, lady,
1317
01:19:01,320 --> 01:19:03,531
that was pretty funny.
1318
01:19:12,290 --> 01:19:16,377
I think you're a very nice lady.
1319
01:19:16,377 --> 01:19:18,171
What do you think of me?
1320
01:19:18,171 --> 01:19:21,090
Oh, I think
you're very nice also.
1321
01:19:21,090 --> 01:19:22,508
You know, a very nice quality
1322
01:19:22,508 --> 01:19:24,260
you have is that
you're a good listener,
1323
01:19:24,260 --> 01:19:27,930
which is important to me
because of how much I talk.
1324
01:19:27,930 --> 01:19:30,099
Hey, you are laugher,
aren't you, lady?
1325
01:19:30,141 --> 01:19:32,560
- I guess so, Nick.
- Yeah.
1326
01:19:35,646 --> 01:19:38,274
Would you like some fruit?
1327
01:19:38,274 --> 01:19:39,692
We got lots of fruit.
1328
01:19:39,692 --> 01:19:43,196
Oh, no thank you, Nick.
1329
01:19:43,196 --> 01:19:44,864
If you'd like to call
your mother or someone,
1330
01:19:44,864 --> 01:19:49,076
please feel free
to use the telephone.
1331
01:19:49,076 --> 01:19:51,662
Or my desk, if you want
to read a book or something.
1332
01:19:53,498 --> 01:19:54,999
Or any of the chairs.
1333
01:19:54,999 --> 01:19:58,336
Oh, I will, thank you, Nick.
1334
01:19:58,336 --> 01:20:00,171
'Kay.
1335
01:20:04,509 --> 01:20:06,719
Well, you gonna be
1336
01:20:06,719 --> 01:20:09,722
staying around
here for a while?
1337
01:20:09,722 --> 01:20:12,725
I might, yes, yes.
1338
01:20:14,727 --> 01:20:16,562
Uh-huh.
1339
01:20:25,404 --> 01:20:29,492
Well, good luck to you, lady.
1340
01:20:29,492 --> 01:20:34,330
Murray, what a nice
suit you've bought!
1341
01:20:34,330 --> 01:20:37,250
Hi, how is everything?
1342
01:20:37,250 --> 01:20:38,334
Which job did you get?
1343
01:20:38,334 --> 01:20:41,337
Uh--still going good, Violet?
1344
01:20:41,337 --> 01:20:43,548
Oh, marvelous.
1345
01:20:43,548 --> 01:20:46,133
- She's in the third month.
- Oh, pregnant?
1346
01:20:46,133 --> 01:20:49,720
- No, unemployment insurance.
- Don't keep me in suspense,
1347
01:20:49,720 --> 01:20:51,389
which job did you get?
1348
01:20:51,389 --> 01:20:54,100
I shall now leave you breathless
1349
01:20:54,141 --> 01:20:56,727
with the strange
and wondrous tale
1350
01:20:56,727 --> 01:21:01,148
of this sturdy lad's adventures
today in downtown Oz.
1351
01:21:01,148 --> 01:21:03,150
Now, picture, if you will, me.
1352
01:21:03,150 --> 01:21:06,571
I am walking on East 51st Street
about an hour ago,
1353
01:21:06,571 --> 01:21:09,156
practicing how
to say "I am sorry"
1354
01:21:09,156 --> 01:21:10,908
with a little style.
1355
01:21:10,908 --> 01:21:13,160
- Sorry for what?
- Oh, for anything,
1356
01:21:13,160 --> 01:21:16,581
just rehearsing--
well, you know how it is
1357
01:21:16,581 --> 01:21:17,999
when you're walking down
the street talking to yourself
1358
01:21:17,999 --> 01:21:20,835
how suddenly you say
something out loud?
1359
01:21:20,835 --> 01:21:24,338
So I said, "I'm sorry,"
and this fella coming by,
1360
01:21:24,338 --> 01:21:26,340
a complete stranger,
he looks up a second
1361
01:21:26,340 --> 01:21:27,758
and he says,
"That's all right, Mac,"
1362
01:21:27,758 --> 01:21:29,969
and he goes right on.
1363
01:21:29,969 --> 01:21:33,389
He automatically forgave me,
I communicated.
1364
01:21:33,389 --> 01:21:35,349
Now, five o'clock rush hour
in midtown you could say,
1365
01:21:35,391 --> 01:21:36,976
"Sir, I believe
your hair is on fire,"
1366
01:21:36,976 --> 01:21:39,061
and they wouldn't
even hear you, so--
1367
01:21:39,061 --> 01:21:42,481
I decided to test the whole
thing out scientifically.
1368
01:21:42,481 --> 01:21:45,234
I just stood there on the corner
of 51st and Lex
1369
01:21:45,234 --> 01:21:48,821
saying "I'm sorry"
to everybody that came by.
1370
01:21:48,821 --> 01:21:52,408
"I am so sorry, sir--
I'm terribly sorry, madam.
1371
01:21:52,408 --> 01:21:54,827
Say there, miss, I'm sorry."
1372
01:21:54,827 --> 01:21:56,662
Of course I got
a few funny looks,
1373
01:21:56,662 --> 01:21:58,080
but I swear, Sandy,
1374
01:21:58,080 --> 01:22:01,667
75 percent of 'em forgave me.
1375
01:22:01,667 --> 01:22:03,836
Something had happened
to all them for which they felt
1376
01:22:03,836 --> 01:22:06,255
somebody should apologize.
1377
01:22:06,255 --> 01:22:10,426
It was fabulous, I had tapped
some vast reservoir.
1378
01:22:10,426 --> 01:22:12,053
I just said "I'm sorry"
1379
01:22:12,053 --> 01:22:14,889
and they were all
so generous, so kind.
1380
01:22:14,889 --> 01:22:16,891
- Murray--
- Yeah, Sandy,
1381
01:22:16,891 --> 01:22:20,728
I could run up on the roof
right now and holler "I'm sorry"
1382
01:22:20,728 --> 01:22:23,147
and a half a million people
would holler back,
1383
01:22:23,147 --> 01:22:27,652
"That's okay, just see
you don't do it again!"
1384
01:22:27,652 --> 01:22:31,656
Murray, you didn't
take any of the jobs.
1385
01:22:31,656 --> 01:22:33,866
Sandy, I, uh--
1386
01:22:35,493 --> 01:22:37,703
I'm sorry.
1387
01:22:38,913 --> 01:22:41,916
I'm very sorry.
1388
01:22:44,085 --> 01:22:47,922
Well, dammit, lady,
that was a beautiful apology.
1389
01:22:47,922 --> 01:22:50,925
I mean, you gotta love a guy
who can apologize so nice.
1390
01:22:50,925 --> 01:22:54,512
I rehearsed it for over an hour.
1391
01:22:54,512 --> 01:22:57,515
Aw, Sandy.
1392
01:22:57,515 --> 01:23:00,685
That's the most
you should expect from life.
1393
01:23:00,685 --> 01:23:02,687
A really good apology
1394
01:23:02,687 --> 01:23:06,774
for all the things
you won't get.
1395
01:23:06,774 --> 01:23:09,944
Oh, Murray, I don't understand.
1396
01:23:09,944 --> 01:23:12,530
What happens to Nick,
what about the welfare board?
1397
01:23:12,530 --> 01:23:14,615
- Well, Sandy--
- Murray, if you didn't like
1398
01:23:14,615 --> 01:23:17,243
the jobs here
your brother found for you,
1399
01:23:17,243 --> 01:23:21,080
-then take any job.
- Sandy, it isn't the job.
1400
01:23:21,080 --> 01:23:25,584
Well, I have had no effect
on you at all.
1401
01:23:25,584 --> 01:23:27,920
I've made no difference.
1402
01:23:27,920 --> 01:23:32,550
Sandy, you are
a cute, jolly lady.
1403
01:23:32,550 --> 01:23:35,720
Sandy, hey-
1404
01:23:35,720 --> 01:23:39,140
there's a great
sailing tomorrow.
1405
01:23:39,140 --> 01:23:43,144
The embarkation of the season--
1406
01:23:43,144 --> 01:23:46,772
53rd Street dock at 1:00,
1407
01:23:46,772 --> 01:23:50,609
the Montana Maru,
Pearl of the Atlantic.
1408
01:23:50,609 --> 01:23:55,448
Bound for Europe,
Khorramshahr,
1409
01:23:55,448 --> 01:24:00,453
Sumatra and Beirut
and points east.
1410
01:24:00,453 --> 01:24:02,872
We'll stand on the dock
and watch it go.
1411
01:24:02,872 --> 01:24:06,709
Oh, gives you
the genuine feeling
1412
01:24:06,709 --> 01:24:08,919
of a beginning, I think.
1413
01:24:08,919 --> 01:24:11,088
Hey, bon voyage, Charlie,
1414
01:24:11,088 --> 01:24:13,924
have a wonderful time!
1415
01:24:17,928 --> 01:24:20,765
I can see why
Nick liked it here.
1416
01:24:20,765 --> 01:24:24,101
I would like it too,
if I was 12 years old.
1417
01:24:28,773 --> 01:24:30,983
Hey, stick with me,
Dr. Markowitz,
1418
01:24:30,983 --> 01:24:32,401
you know, anything can happen
1419
01:24:32,401 --> 01:24:35,404
above an abandoned
Chinese restaurant.
1420
01:24:40,409 --> 01:24:43,621
Oh, there are so many
really attractive things
1421
01:24:43,621 --> 01:24:46,832
that you can do
with a one-room apartment,
1422
01:24:46,832 --> 01:24:50,377
if you're willing
to use your imagination.
1423
01:24:52,379 --> 01:24:55,216
Bye, Murray.
1424
01:25:06,894 --> 01:25:08,813
You forgot your files!
1425
01:25:08,813 --> 01:25:12,566
Hey, dammit,
you forgot your files.
1426
01:25:18,447 --> 01:25:21,617
I've been attacked
by the Ladies' Home Journal.
1427
01:25:23,452 --> 01:25:26,789
Place has
an unusual quality now,
1428
01:25:26,789 --> 01:25:28,999
kind of fun Gothic.
1429
01:25:35,214 --> 01:25:38,634
Where's my eagle?
1430
01:25:38,634 --> 01:25:43,305
Well, what have we got here,
Sunnybrook Farm?
1431
01:26:12,668 --> 01:26:14,879
Ah.
1432
01:26:20,301 --> 01:26:23,804
Everybody on stage for
the Hawaiian number, please!
1433
01:26:52,833 --> 01:26:54,835
-Hey-
-Okay.
1434
01:26:54,835 --> 01:26:56,754
Takes me an hour
to get insulted,
1435
01:26:56,754 --> 01:26:59,590
now I'm insulted.
1436
01:26:59,590 --> 01:27:01,800
You walked out of my office.
1437
01:27:01,800 --> 01:27:05,638
That wasn't a nice thing
to do to me, Murray.
1438
01:27:05,638 --> 01:27:09,600
I mean, you come to my office
today like George God,
1439
01:27:09,642 --> 01:27:11,185
everybody's supposed
to come up and audition
1440
01:27:11,185 --> 01:27:13,646
for human being
in front of you.
1441
01:27:13,646 --> 01:27:17,483
I called Leo back, I apologized,
I told him the phone broke down.
1442
01:27:17,483 --> 01:27:19,902
Everything is going to be fine.
1443
01:27:19,902 --> 01:27:22,905
Arnie, you said I insulted you.
1444
01:27:22,905 --> 01:27:25,908
Well, dammit, get angry!
1445
01:27:25,908 --> 01:27:29,662
Come on, raise your voice,
at least your eyebrows!
1446
01:27:29,662 --> 01:27:32,539
Please, please,
have an argument with me.
1447
01:27:32,539 --> 01:27:35,167
Murray, you're just
getting excited, that's all.
1448
01:27:35,167 --> 01:27:37,169
Now, look, I've got Leo
to come over,
1449
01:27:37,169 --> 01:27:39,588
he's gonna see you tonight,
everything is gonna
1450
01:27:39,588 --> 01:27:41,090
turn out fine, you'll see.
1451
01:27:41,090 --> 01:27:42,508
- Arnie, will you forget that?
- Just fine!
1452
01:27:42,508 --> 01:27:44,510
- Will you forget it?
- Look, if--
1453
01:27:44,510 --> 01:27:45,928
If you love Nick
1454
01:27:45,928 --> 01:27:48,180
or whoever it is
he's calling himself this week,
1455
01:27:48,180 --> 01:27:52,768
you have got to take any kind
of a stupid job to keep him.
1456
01:27:52,768 --> 01:27:55,604
Now, I even thought maybe
Shirley and me would take him,
1457
01:27:55,604 --> 01:27:58,774
but you know, our three kids,
she'd go crazy.
1458
01:27:58,774 --> 01:28:01,193
Aw, don't worry, Arnie.
1459
01:28:01,193 --> 01:28:03,946
This welfare crowd,
they know what they're doing.
1460
01:28:03,946 --> 01:28:06,782
They'll put Nick
with a good family.
1461
01:28:06,782 --> 01:28:08,617
Yup.
1462
01:28:08,617 --> 01:28:11,036
Murray, I finally
figured out your problem.
1463
01:28:11,036 --> 01:28:15,457
There is only one thing
that really bothers you--
1464
01:28:15,457 --> 01:28:17,209
other people.
1465
01:28:17,209 --> 01:28:18,877
The enemy.
1466
01:28:18,877 --> 01:28:22,089
Watch out, Murray,
they're everywhere.
1467
01:28:22,089 --> 01:28:23,924
Go ahead, Arnold,
give me advice.
1468
01:28:23,924 --> 01:28:26,135
At 30,000 a year,
you can afford it.
1469
01:28:26,135 --> 01:28:29,555
Oh, I get it, if I'm so smart,
why ain't I poor?
1470
01:28:29,555 --> 01:28:31,223
Well, you better get
a damn good act of your own,
1471
01:28:31,223 --> 01:28:33,017
buddy, before you start
giving mine the raspberry.
1472
01:28:33,058 --> 01:28:35,144
What's this game
you play gonna be like
1473
01:28:35,144 --> 01:28:36,895
in ten years without youth?
1474
01:28:36,895 --> 01:28:40,566
Murray, I can't watch this--
You've gotta shape up.
1475
01:28:40,566 --> 01:28:43,569
- Shape up?
- That's right, shape up.
1476
01:28:43,569 --> 01:28:47,156
Arnie, what the hell
happened to you?
1477
01:28:47,156 --> 01:28:50,284
You got so old,
I don't know you anymore.
1478
01:28:50,284 --> 01:28:52,578
Who is it?
1479
01:28:52,578 --> 01:28:57,207
When you quit Harry the Fur King
on 28th Street, remember?
1480
01:28:57,207 --> 01:28:59,418
- That's 20 years ago, Murray.
-Ah-
1481
01:28:59,418 --> 01:29:01,754
Harry said you
weren't behaving
1482
01:29:01,754 --> 01:29:03,922
maturely enough for a salesman.
1483
01:29:03,922 --> 01:29:07,092
Your clothes didn't match
or something,
1484
01:29:07,092 --> 01:29:10,721
so the next day
you dressed perfectly.
1485
01:29:10,721 --> 01:29:12,723
Homburg, gray suit, cufflinks,
1486
01:29:12,723 --> 01:29:14,933
carrying a briefcase
and a rolled umbrella,
1487
01:29:14,975 --> 01:29:17,978
and you came into Harry's office
on roller skates!
1488
01:29:19,813 --> 01:29:21,231
Where did they go, Arnie?
1489
01:29:21,231 --> 01:29:23,650
What happened
to your roller skates?
1490
01:29:23,650 --> 01:29:25,569
Well, I don't do
practical jokes anymore,
1491
01:29:25,569 --> 01:29:28,197
-if that's what you mean.
- Practical, that's right.
1492
01:29:28,197 --> 01:29:31,950
A way to stay alive.
1493
01:29:31,950 --> 01:29:34,453
Gee, if most things
aren't funny, Arn,
1494
01:29:34,453 --> 01:29:37,456
then they're only
exactly what they are.
1495
01:29:37,456 --> 01:29:39,625
Then it's just one
long dental appointment
1496
01:29:39,625 --> 01:29:42,044
interrupted occasionally
by something exciting
1497
01:29:42,044 --> 01:29:45,047
like waiting or falling asleep.
1498
01:29:45,047 --> 01:29:46,298
What's the point
if I leave things
1499
01:29:46,298 --> 01:29:47,925
just the way I find 'em?
1500
01:29:47,925 --> 01:29:49,551
Then I'm just
adding to the noise,
1501
01:29:49,551 --> 01:29:51,762
I'm just taking up
some more room on the subway.
1502
01:29:51,762 --> 01:29:54,932
Murray, the welfare board
has these specifications.
1503
01:29:54,932 --> 01:29:57,768
All you have to do
is to make up your mind--
1504
01:29:57,768 --> 01:29:58,977
- Arnie, you don't...
- Murray, I--
1505
01:29:58,977 --> 01:30:00,604
...understand anymore.
1506
01:30:00,604 --> 01:30:03,941
You've got that wide stare
that people stick in their eyes
1507
01:30:03,941 --> 01:30:07,069
so nobody'll know
their head's asleep.
1508
01:30:07,069 --> 01:30:10,656
Gee--to be a moaner,
a shuffler.
1509
01:30:10,656 --> 01:30:12,991
You want me to come,
sit and eat fruit with you
1510
01:30:12,991 --> 01:30:14,993
and watch the clock run out.
1511
01:30:14,993 --> 01:30:17,996
You start to drag and stumble
under the rotten weight
1512
01:30:17,996 --> 01:30:20,666
of all the people
who shoulda been told off.
1513
01:30:20,666 --> 01:30:23,252
All of the things
you should have said,
1514
01:30:23,252 --> 01:30:25,754
all the specifications
1515
01:30:25,754 --> 01:30:28,257
that aren't yours.
1516
01:30:28,257 --> 01:30:30,259
You know, the only thing
you got left to reject
1517
01:30:30,259 --> 01:30:32,428
is your food in a restaurant
if they do it wrong,
1518
01:30:32,428 --> 01:30:35,097
you can send it back and make
a big fuss with the waiter.
1519
01:30:37,391 --> 01:30:42,104
Five months ago, I was
on a subway on my way to work.
1520
01:30:42,104 --> 01:30:44,940
I was sitting on an express,
same as every morning,
1521
01:30:44,940 --> 01:30:46,567
looking out the window,
1522
01:30:46,567 --> 01:30:49,570
watching the local stops
go by in the dark
1523
01:30:49,570 --> 01:30:52,781
with an empty head
and my arms folded.
1524
01:30:52,781 --> 01:30:57,619
Not feeling great,
not feeling rotten.
1525
01:30:57,619 --> 01:31:02,458
Just not feeling.
1526
01:31:02,458 --> 01:31:05,961
And for a minute
I couldn't remember,
1527
01:31:05,961 --> 01:31:08,213
I didn't know unless
1528
01:31:08,213 --> 01:31:11,467
I really concentrated
1529
01:31:11,467 --> 01:31:14,094
whether it was a Tuesday
1530
01:31:14,094 --> 01:31:16,680
or a Thursday or...
1531
01:31:18,682 --> 01:31:21,101
For a minute,
1532
01:31:21,101 --> 01:31:23,770
it could have
been any day, Arn.
1533
01:31:23,770 --> 01:31:27,357
I gotta know what day it is.
1534
01:31:27,357 --> 01:31:29,693
I gotta know what's
the name of the game,
1535
01:31:29,693 --> 01:31:33,280
and what the rules are
without anyone else telling me.
1536
01:31:33,280 --> 01:31:36,867
You gotta own your own days
and name 'em.
1537
01:31:36,867 --> 01:31:39,453
Each one of 'em,
every one of 'em.
1538
01:31:39,495 --> 01:31:42,664
Or else the years go right by
1539
01:31:42,664 --> 01:31:46,502
and none of them belong to you.
1540
01:31:46,502 --> 01:31:52,341
And that ain't just
for weekends, kiddo.
1541
01:31:52,341 --> 01:31:54,927
Well, here it is,
1542
01:31:54,927 --> 01:31:57,721
the day after
Irving R. Feldman's birthday
1543
01:31:57,721 --> 01:31:59,139
and I never even
congratulated him.
1544
01:31:59,139 --> 01:32:01,350
Murray.
1545
01:32:02,351 --> 01:32:04,353
Ooh.
1546
01:32:05,854 --> 01:32:07,064
Well, what's so funny?
1547
01:32:07,064 --> 01:32:09,900
I scared myself.
1548
01:32:12,486 --> 01:32:15,489
Murray, I've long been aware...
1549
01:32:17,824 --> 01:32:20,827
I've long been aware that
you don't respect me so much.
1550
01:32:20,827 --> 01:32:23,580
Ah, I suppose there
are a lot of brothers
1551
01:32:23,580 --> 01:32:26,166
who don't get along, but...
1552
01:32:26,166 --> 01:32:28,585
in reference to us
1553
01:32:28,585 --> 01:32:31,421
and considering the factors,
1554
01:32:31,421 --> 01:32:33,423
sounds like a contract,
doesn't it.
1555
01:32:35,509 --> 01:32:39,680
Unfortunately for you, Murray,
you wanna be a hero.
1556
01:32:39,680 --> 01:32:42,099
If maybe a fella falls into
the lake you can jump in
1557
01:32:42,099 --> 01:32:44,476
and save him, there's still
that kind of stuff.
1558
01:32:44,518 --> 01:32:47,729
But who gets opportunities
like that in Midtown Manhattan
1559
01:32:47,729 --> 01:32:51,483
with all that traffic?
1560
01:32:51,483 --> 01:32:53,485
I'm willing to deal
with the available world,
1561
01:32:53,485 --> 01:32:56,905
I don't choose to shake it up
but to live with it.
1562
01:32:56,905 --> 01:32:58,657
There's the people
who spill things
1563
01:32:58,657 --> 01:33:00,492
and there's the people
who get spilled on,
1564
01:33:00,492 --> 01:33:02,327
and I don't choose
to notice the stains.
1565
01:33:02,327 --> 01:33:05,330
I have a wife, I have children,
1566
01:33:05,330 --> 01:33:09,334
and business,
like they say, is business.
1567
01:33:09,334 --> 01:33:12,337
I'm not an exceptional man,
so it's possible for me
1568
01:33:12,337 --> 01:33:15,424
to stay with things
the way they are.
1569
01:33:15,424 --> 01:33:19,428
I'm lucky. I'm gifted.
1570
01:33:19,428 --> 01:33:22,514
I have a talent for surrender,
and I'm at peace.
1571
01:33:22,514 --> 01:33:24,558
But you?
1572
01:33:24,558 --> 01:33:26,768
Oh, you're cursed.
1573
01:33:26,768 --> 01:33:30,772
And I like you, Murray.
1574
01:33:30,772 --> 01:33:32,357
So it makes me sad.
1575
01:33:32,357 --> 01:33:35,944
You don't have the gift
and I can see the torture of it.
1576
01:33:35,944 --> 01:33:38,363
All I can do is worry for you,
1577
01:33:38,363 --> 01:33:40,532
but I will not worry for myself.
1578
01:33:40,532 --> 01:33:43,368
You can't convince me
that I'm one of the bad guys.
1579
01:33:43,368 --> 01:33:47,998
I get up, I go,
I lie a little,
1580
01:33:47,998 --> 01:33:51,251
I peddle a little,
I watch the rules,
1581
01:33:51,251 --> 01:33:52,753
I talk the talk.
1582
01:33:52,753 --> 01:33:55,088
We fellows have those offices
high up there
1583
01:33:55,088 --> 01:33:59,259
so that we can catch the wind
and go with it however it blows.
1584
01:33:59,259 --> 01:34:03,597
But, and I'm not
gonna apologize for it--
1585
01:34:03,597 --> 01:34:06,183
I take pride.
1586
01:34:06,183 --> 01:34:10,604
I am the best possible
Arnold Burns.
1587
01:34:17,569 --> 01:34:19,571
Give my regards
to Irving R. Feldman, will you?
1588
01:34:19,571 --> 01:34:21,406
- Hey, Arnie--
- Murray, please allow me,
1589
01:34:21,406 --> 01:34:24,034
once, to leave
a room before you do.
1590
01:34:37,464 --> 01:34:40,676
Hey, Murray, watch it!
1591
01:34:40,676 --> 01:34:43,261
Yeah, it's okay now.
1592
01:34:49,267 --> 01:34:52,270
- Hey, that's great, Murray.
- Hiya, Nick.
1593
01:34:52,270 --> 01:34:54,481
You don't give it enough play,
it goes into a dive.
1594
01:34:54,481 --> 01:34:56,233
Let's go downstairs.
1595
01:34:56,233 --> 01:34:58,235
- Murray.
- I wanna talk to you.
1596
01:34:58,235 --> 01:35:01,238
This afternoon in school,
I made a decision.
1597
01:35:01,238 --> 01:35:03,990
Right in the middle
of creative geography class,
1598
01:35:03,990 --> 01:35:06,576
I decided that since
you were getting a job today,
1599
01:35:06,576 --> 01:35:08,412
then I made up my mind
it was time for me
1600
01:35:08,412 --> 01:35:11,248
also to finish a certain matter
which I've been putting off.
1601
01:35:12,582 --> 01:35:14,000
See, for the past
couple of months
1602
01:35:14,000 --> 01:35:15,752
I've been considering
different names,
1603
01:35:15,752 --> 01:35:17,754
'cause in four weeks
lam gonna be 13
1604
01:35:17,754 --> 01:35:20,757
and I've gotta pick my permanent
first name like you said.
1605
01:35:22,384 --> 01:35:24,386
You should just go on
calling yourself Nick,
1606
01:35:24,386 --> 01:35:26,388
you've been using
that one the longest.
1607
01:35:26,388 --> 01:35:29,558
Well, Nick is a name
for a short person.
1608
01:35:29,558 --> 01:35:31,518
Since I'm a short person,
I don't believe
1609
01:35:31,518 --> 01:35:33,937
I should put
a lot of attention on it.
1610
01:35:33,937 --> 01:35:36,773
What do you mean, where'd you
get the idea you were short?
1611
01:35:36,773 --> 01:35:38,942
From people who
are taller than I am.
1612
01:35:38,942 --> 01:35:42,154
That is ridiculous.
1613
01:35:42,154 --> 01:35:46,700
Sure, up there it's ridiculous.
1614
01:35:46,700 --> 01:35:49,995
But from down here where I am,
it's not so ridiculous.
1615
01:35:55,083 --> 01:35:59,921
You know, half the girls
in my class are taller than me.
1616
01:36:02,090 --> 01:36:04,760
'Specially Susan Bookwalter.
1617
01:36:04,760 --> 01:36:07,387
Nick, you happen to be
1618
01:36:07,387 --> 01:36:10,182
a nice medium height
for your age.
1619
01:36:10,182 --> 01:36:13,435
So how is it everybody
crouches over when I'm around?
1620
01:36:13,435 --> 01:36:15,437
Because you're a kid.
1621
01:36:15,437 --> 01:36:18,440
Look, you come from
a fairly tall family,
1622
01:36:18,440 --> 01:36:20,859
next couple years,
you're gonna grow like crazy.
1623
01:36:20,859 --> 01:36:23,278
Really, every day
you're getting bigger.
1624
01:36:23,278 --> 01:36:26,114
But so is Susan Bookwalter.
1625
01:36:29,701 --> 01:36:31,203
So, for a couple of months,
1626
01:36:31,203 --> 01:36:33,705
I've been considering
various tall names.
1627
01:36:33,705 --> 01:36:35,707
Then I though about
just picking any name,
1628
01:36:35,707 --> 01:36:36,917
putting "Captain"
in front of it,
1629
01:36:36,917 --> 01:36:38,919
sort of jack it up a little.
1630
01:36:38,919 --> 01:36:43,131
But I really didn't
like that, either.
1631
01:36:43,131 --> 01:36:46,134
But then...
1632
01:36:46,134 --> 01:36:49,888
last week I finally
am really decided,
1633
01:36:49,888 --> 01:36:52,098
and I took out
a new library card
1634
01:36:52,098 --> 01:36:54,935
to see how it looks.
1635
01:36:54,935 --> 01:36:59,606
And today, I figured I'd make
it definite and official.
1636
01:37:03,151 --> 01:37:05,153
That's my library card.
1637
01:37:05,153 --> 01:37:07,781
Well, no, that's
the whole thing, it's mine.
1638
01:37:07,781 --> 01:37:10,408
Well, this says
"Murray Burns" on it.
1639
01:37:10,408 --> 01:37:12,577
Well, yeah, that's
the name that I picked.
1640
01:37:12,577 --> 01:37:14,204
So I took out a new card
to see how it looks
1641
01:37:14,204 --> 01:37:16,373
and make it official.
1642
01:37:19,125 --> 01:37:21,962
Hey, Murray, baby, don't jump.
1643
01:37:21,962 --> 01:37:26,591
Hey, fella, don't jump,
I'll meet ya inside.
1644
01:37:26,591 --> 01:37:27,926
Hey, it's Mr. Herman.
1645
01:37:27,926 --> 01:37:30,136
Oh, that's the job
you took, huh?
1646
01:37:31,346 --> 01:37:34,766
Ma!
1647
01:37:34,766 --> 01:37:37,602
Hey. Ma!
1648
01:37:41,439 --> 01:37:44,276
There he is,
there's the old monkey,
1649
01:37:44,276 --> 01:37:47,946
-there's the old joker.
- There he is, lay off it.
1650
01:37:47,946 --> 01:37:50,365
There he is,
there's the little guy.
1651
01:37:50,365 --> 01:37:52,534
Look at him, little guy.
1652
01:37:52,534 --> 01:37:55,954
I got a Chuckle statue for you.
1653
01:37:55,954 --> 01:37:58,790
Well, thank you, Mr. Herman.
1654
01:37:58,790 --> 01:38:02,878
Imagine how pleased
I am to receive it.
1655
01:38:02,878 --> 01:38:06,882
It's a very artistic statue,
and very good cardboard, too.
1656
01:38:06,882 --> 01:38:08,717
And I got a Chuckle cap for you,
1657
01:38:08,717 --> 01:38:10,468
just like
the old chipmunk wears.
1658
01:38:10,468 --> 01:38:13,054
- Thank you.
- Oop.
1659
01:38:14,055 --> 01:38:16,266
Thank you.
1660
01:38:16,266 --> 01:38:17,642
You're wearing
the Chuckle's hat,
1661
01:38:17,684 --> 01:38:20,270
you gotta say
the Chuckle's hello.
1662
01:38:20,270 --> 01:38:22,272
The what?
1663
01:38:22,272 --> 01:38:24,441
Chip-chip-chippermonkey?
1664
01:38:24,441 --> 01:38:26,651
Oh, yeah, sure.
1665
01:38:26,651 --> 01:38:29,279
Chip-chip-chippermonkey!
1666
01:38:31,489 --> 01:38:32,824
May I know your first name?
1667
01:38:32,824 --> 01:38:34,576
It's Nick most of the time.
1668
01:38:34,576 --> 01:38:36,786
Most of the time?
1669
01:38:36,786 --> 01:38:38,788
Look what I got here,
two big bags
1670
01:38:38,788 --> 01:38:42,542
of Chuckle Chip
potato chips, eh?
1671
01:38:42,542 --> 01:38:44,544
Nicky, you wanna put
these crispy chips
1672
01:38:44,544 --> 01:38:46,129
in a bowl or something for us?
1673
01:38:46,129 --> 01:38:47,631
- Okay.
- Yeah, and take your time,
1674
01:38:47,631 --> 01:38:49,424
Nick, 'cause your uncle
and me got some--
1675
01:38:49,424 --> 01:38:52,052
we got some grown-up
talking to do, okay--
1676
01:38:52,052 --> 01:38:53,678
The kid hates me.
1677
01:38:53,678 --> 01:38:55,347
I didn't go over
very well with him,
1678
01:38:55,347 --> 01:38:57,098
I pushed a little too hard.
1679
01:38:57,098 --> 01:39:00,101
- Nice kid, Murray.
- Yeah, how are your kids, Leo?
1680
01:39:00,101 --> 01:39:02,312
Fine, fine, but I swear to God,
even they don't like
1681
01:39:02,312 --> 01:39:03,813
my show since
you stopped writing it.
1682
01:39:03,813 --> 01:39:06,483
My youngest one,
my six-year-old...
1683
01:39:07,901 --> 01:39:10,320
- Ralphie.
- Ralphie,
1684
01:39:10,320 --> 01:39:13,490
watches the Funny Bunny show
every morning now instead of me.
1685
01:39:13,490 --> 01:39:17,035
Oh, have I been bombing out
on the show every morning.
1686
01:39:17,035 --> 01:39:18,703
You know what it feels like
to bomb out
1687
01:39:18,703 --> 01:39:20,705
in front of children--
You flop out in front of kids,
1688
01:39:20,705 --> 01:39:23,041
Murray, I swear to God,
they're ready to kill ya.
1689
01:39:23,041 --> 01:39:25,251
Or else they stare at you,
that's the worst.
1690
01:39:25,251 --> 01:39:28,004
That hurt, innocent little stare
like you just killed their pup
1691
01:39:28,004 --> 01:39:30,215
or ate their turtle
or something, Murray--
1692
01:39:30,215 --> 01:39:32,050
Have you back with me
at the studio,
1693
01:39:32,050 --> 01:39:33,885
see you at the show tomorrow,
it's gonna be beautiful,
1694
01:39:33,885 --> 01:39:35,387
-you're the best.
- I appreciate
1695
01:39:35,387 --> 01:39:37,305
-your feeling that way, Leo.
- This afternoon,
1696
01:39:37,305 --> 01:39:39,641
on the phone,
you walked out on me.
1697
01:39:39,641 --> 01:39:41,726
- Yeah, Leo, I'm sorry.
- Why, why do you do this to me?
1698
01:39:41,726 --> 01:39:43,561
- No, I was only kidding.
- Don't tell me,
1699
01:39:43,561 --> 01:39:44,938
I know I make people nervous,
1700
01:39:44,938 --> 01:39:47,148
who can listen to me
for ten minutes, right?
1701
01:39:47,148 --> 01:39:49,359
You see that, you see that?
1702
01:39:49,359 --> 01:39:51,945
See how I kept touching
my suit, my tie like that?
1703
01:39:51,945 --> 01:39:54,948
I keep touching myself
to make sure I'm still here.
1704
01:39:54,948 --> 01:39:58,952
I get this feeling maybe I
vanished when I wasn't looking.
1705
01:39:58,952 --> 01:40:01,621
No, I'm sure
that you're here, Leo.
1706
01:40:01,621 --> 01:40:05,834
See how he talks to me,
a little nasty? I like it.
1707
01:40:05,834 --> 01:40:07,460
It's straight,
it's real, I like it.
1708
01:40:07,460 --> 01:40:08,962
You know what I got
around me on the show?
1709
01:40:08,962 --> 01:40:11,840
Finks, dwarfs,
phonies, and frogs.
1710
01:40:11,840 --> 01:40:14,676
No Murrays, the show is boring.
1711
01:40:14,676 --> 01:40:18,680
Boring, boring, boring,
boredom, bore, boring,
1712
01:40:18,680 --> 01:40:21,516
boring, boring, boring,
boring, boredom, bore!
1713
01:40:21,516 --> 01:40:23,685
- Murray?
- Boring, boredom, bore!
1714
01:40:23,685 --> 01:40:26,187
Boring, boring, boring.
1715
01:40:28,398 --> 01:40:31,609
I believe that
I left my files here.
1716
01:40:33,695 --> 01:40:35,989
I came to get my files.
1717
01:40:35,989 --> 01:40:38,700
May I have my files, please?
1718
01:40:38,700 --> 01:40:42,203
Oh, excuse me.
1719
01:40:42,203 --> 01:40:45,415
Uh, Chuckles the Chipmunk,
this is Minnie Mouse.
1720
01:40:45,415 --> 01:40:47,417
Hiya, Minnie.
1721
01:40:47,417 --> 01:40:50,253
You must be Mr. Herman?
1722
01:40:50,253 --> 01:40:52,672
I must be, I must be him.
1723
01:40:52,672 --> 01:40:54,883
Well, I'll be on my way.
1724
01:40:57,886 --> 01:40:59,637
That's a very attractive girl,
that Minnie.
1725
01:40:59,637 --> 01:41:01,264
What does she do?
1726
01:41:01,264 --> 01:41:03,224
She's my decorator.
1727
01:41:11,274 --> 01:41:14,527
She's done a wonderful job.
1728
01:41:14,527 --> 01:41:16,112
The place is great, Murray,
1729
01:41:16,112 --> 01:41:18,698
it's loose, it's open,
it's free, I love it.
1730
01:41:18,698 --> 01:41:22,035
A wonderful, crazy place.
1731
01:41:22,035 --> 01:41:24,245
My God.
1732
01:41:24,245 --> 01:41:28,416
You must make out like mad
in a place like this, huh?
1733
01:41:29,000 --> 01:41:30,585
Leo.
1734
01:41:30,585 --> 01:41:32,212
How is it I never
came here before?
1735
01:41:32,212 --> 01:41:33,630
You were here last January, Leo.
1736
01:41:33,630 --> 01:41:35,256
You work with me
for three years,
1737
01:41:35,256 --> 01:41:36,424
I never saw your apartment.
1738
01:41:36,424 --> 01:41:37,842
You were here last January, Leo.
1739
01:41:37,842 --> 01:41:39,427
Wait a minute, wait a minute.
1740
01:41:39,427 --> 01:41:42,931
Wasn't I here recently,
in the winter?
1741
01:41:42,931 --> 01:41:45,308
Last January, I think.
1742
01:41:45,308 --> 01:41:47,352
I remember, I came here
to get you back on the show
1743
01:41:47,352 --> 01:41:49,395
and you wouldn't listen to me.
1744
01:41:49,395 --> 01:41:50,980
It was a week after you quit--
1745
01:41:50,980 --> 01:41:53,191
you walked into the kitchen
and started singing
1746
01:41:53,191 --> 01:41:54,526
"Yes Sir, That's My Baby,"
1747
01:41:54,526 --> 01:41:57,070
and I left,
feeling very foolish,
1748
01:41:57,070 --> 01:41:58,947
like I had footprints
on my face.
1749
01:41:58,947 --> 01:42:02,784
You monkey, you're a monkey.
1750
01:42:02,784 --> 01:42:04,786
You're an old monkey,
aren't you, huh?
1751
01:42:04,786 --> 01:42:06,996
Walked in the kitchen
and starting singing,
1752
01:42:06,996 --> 01:42:09,207
"Yes Sir, That's My Baby."
1753
01:42:09,207 --> 01:42:11,292
You know what I got
from that experience?
1754
01:42:11,292 --> 01:42:15,880
A rash, I broke out
something terrible.
1755
01:42:15,880 --> 01:42:17,882
Minnie Mouse.
1756
01:42:19,300 --> 01:42:21,469
Minnie Mouse!
1757
01:42:21,469 --> 01:42:25,306
You told me her name
was Minnie Mouse!
1758
01:42:27,892 --> 01:42:30,311
I swear to God now,
I think my mission in life
1759
01:42:30,311 --> 01:42:32,647
is to feed you straight lines.
1760
01:42:32,647 --> 01:42:34,065
It's a kind of
a fallout shelter,
1761
01:42:34,065 --> 01:42:35,692
that's what you got here, Mur.
1762
01:42:35,692 --> 01:42:37,777
Protection against the idiots
in the atmosphere,
1763
01:42:37,777 --> 01:42:41,030
it's free, it's free,
free, free, free,
1764
01:42:41,030 --> 01:42:43,658
freedom, free,
another year and I'll--
1765
01:42:43,658 --> 01:42:46,953
another year and I'll cut loose
of my chipmunk show.
1766
01:42:46,953 --> 01:42:48,580
Binds me, hugs me up,
1767
01:42:48,580 --> 01:42:50,540
finks, dwarfs,
phonies, and frogs.
1768
01:42:50,540 --> 01:42:52,167
Now the two of us,
we gotta do something new,
1769
01:42:52,167 --> 01:42:55,503
something wild, a new kind
of kid's show for adults, maybe.
1770
01:42:55,503 --> 01:42:57,839
You told me the same thing
three years ago, Leo.
1771
01:42:57,839 --> 01:42:59,841
All right,
what do you want from me?
1772
01:42:59,841 --> 01:43:04,179
I'm a coward,
everybody knows--oh my God.
1773
01:43:04,179 --> 01:43:07,182
Did you ever see
anything so immodest?
1774
01:43:07,182 --> 01:43:11,144
I bring a big statue of myself
as a gift for a child, huh?
1775
01:43:11,144 --> 01:43:13,146
The pure ego of it?
1776
01:43:13,146 --> 01:43:15,607
I'm ashamed, Murray, please.
1777
01:43:15,607 --> 01:43:20,236
Throw a sheet over it
or something, will you, please?
1778
01:43:20,236 --> 01:43:22,989
Yum-yum-yum-yum-yummy, oh,
1779
01:43:22,989 --> 01:43:27,410
yum-yum-yum-yum-yum, good.
1780
01:43:27,410 --> 01:43:31,247
Oh, gosh, kid-a-roonies, look
at your poor chipmunk friend,
1781
01:43:31,247 --> 01:43:33,082
he got his mouth stuck!
1782
01:43:33,082 --> 01:43:36,336
Oh ho, no matter how hard I try,
1783
01:43:36,336 --> 01:43:39,422
I can't get my mouth unstuck.
1784
01:43:39,422 --> 01:43:42,759
But maybe if you Chippermunks
yell, "Be happy, Chuckles,"
1785
01:43:42,759 --> 01:43:45,762
maybe then it'll get unstuck.
1786
01:43:50,016 --> 01:43:53,519
You're supposed to yell,
"Be happy, Chuckles."
1787
01:43:53,519 --> 01:43:55,146
Oh, yeah, sure.
1788
01:43:55,146 --> 01:43:57,148
Be happy, Chuckles.
1789
01:43:57,148 --> 01:43:59,567
All right, you fixed me!
1790
01:43:59,567 --> 01:44:01,569
I'm all fixed!
1791
01:44:03,988 --> 01:44:05,281
- Yeah.
- Would you like
1792
01:44:05,281 --> 01:44:07,283
your potato chips now,
Mr. Herman?
1793
01:44:07,283 --> 01:44:09,911
That's a bit from
tomorrow morning's show.
1794
01:44:09,911 --> 01:44:11,913
And you're gonna know it
before all the kids
1795
01:44:11,913 --> 01:44:14,082
in the neighborhood.
1796
01:44:14,082 --> 01:44:15,250
Thank you.
1797
01:44:15,250 --> 01:44:16,417
That's one
of the funny parts there
1798
01:44:16,417 --> 01:44:18,002
where I couldn't move my mouth.
1799
01:44:18,002 --> 01:44:19,754
Oh, oh yeah?
1800
01:44:19,754 --> 01:44:21,089
You think it was funny?
1801
01:44:21,089 --> 01:44:24,175
Sure, that was pretty funny.
1802
01:44:24,175 --> 01:44:26,010
Yeah, don't you laugh
1803
01:44:26,010 --> 01:44:27,595
or something
when you see something funny?
1804
01:44:27,595 --> 01:44:29,347
Yeah, it just caught me
by surprise is all,
1805
01:44:29,347 --> 01:44:32,308
I didn't get a chance.
1806
01:44:32,350 --> 01:44:34,352
Don't you want
more potato chips, mister?
1807
01:44:34,352 --> 01:44:36,354
Another funny part
was where I jumped up there
1808
01:44:36,354 --> 01:44:39,190
with a smile there,
at the end there.
1809
01:44:39,190 --> 01:44:42,402
Was another one.
1810
01:44:42,402 --> 01:44:45,238
Then the finishing bit,
I got the smile, see,
1811
01:44:45,238 --> 01:44:47,240
now I'm all fixed, huh?
1812
01:44:47,240 --> 01:44:50,326
Now I'm all fixed, he-he-he-he--
1813
01:44:50,326 --> 01:44:53,329
Oh, now it's stuck
the other way!
1814
01:45:00,962 --> 01:45:03,798
Well gee, that's terrific,
Mr. Herman.
1815
01:45:03,798 --> 01:45:06,134
That's all you gotta do,
just get up there and do that
1816
01:45:06,134 --> 01:45:08,553
and they pay you and everything.
1817
01:45:10,471 --> 01:45:12,056
You didn't laugh.
1818
01:45:12,056 --> 01:45:13,683
I was waiting
for the funny part.
1819
01:45:13,683 --> 01:45:17,270
That was the funny part.
1820
01:45:17,270 --> 01:45:21,524
- You mean when you fell on--
- Yeah, like on the floor there!
1821
01:45:21,524 --> 01:45:23,276
- Well, you see the thing is--
- Yeah, I know,
1822
01:45:23,276 --> 01:45:24,777
you were waiting
for the funny part.
1823
01:45:24,777 --> 01:45:26,612
Well, here, you missed
another funny part.
1824
01:45:26,612 --> 01:45:28,781
Another one,
I'm very sorry, Mr. Herman--
1825
01:45:28,781 --> 01:45:31,784
Forget it!
1826
01:45:31,784 --> 01:45:33,619
I happen to know that
the bit is very funny.
1827
01:45:33,619 --> 01:45:35,455
Here, I can prove it to you.
1828
01:45:35,455 --> 01:45:36,622
What does it say right there?
1829
01:45:36,622 --> 01:45:39,250
Second line there.
1830
01:45:39,250 --> 01:45:42,086
"Frown bit:
85 percent of audience,
1831
01:45:42,086 --> 01:45:45,590
outright prolonged laughter
on frown bit."
1832
01:45:45,590 --> 01:45:47,925
That's an analysis report
the agency did for me
1833
01:45:47,925 --> 01:45:49,552
on Monday's preview audience.
1834
01:45:49,552 --> 01:45:51,220
The routine I just did
for you got outright
1835
01:45:51,220 --> 01:45:53,973
prolonged laughter, 85 percent.
1836
01:45:53,973 --> 01:45:55,892
Monday, three o'clock.
1837
01:45:55,892 --> 01:45:59,062
You try him on sad parts, Leo,
he's very good on sad parts.
1838
01:45:59,062 --> 01:46:01,397
As a matter of fact,
there's a poignant type bit
1839
01:46:01,397 --> 01:46:03,399
I did at the preview theater.
1840
01:46:03,399 --> 01:46:06,402
Sixty percent of audience
noticeably moved.
1841
01:46:06,402 --> 01:46:08,905
- They left the theater?
- There he is,
1842
01:46:08,905 --> 01:46:10,990
there's the old joker, right?
1843
01:46:10,990 --> 01:46:12,617
Murray the joker.
1844
01:46:12,617 --> 01:46:15,036
Well, say, I can do
some routines, too.
1845
01:46:15,036 --> 01:46:17,705
I can imitate the voice
of Alexander Hamilton.
1846
01:46:17,705 --> 01:46:20,208
- Good.
- I do Alexander Hamilton,
1847
01:46:20,208 --> 01:46:22,835
and Murray does
a terrific Thomas Jefferson.
1848
01:46:22,835 --> 01:46:24,837
We got the voices just right.
1849
01:46:26,672 --> 01:46:29,092
- Hello, Alex, how are you?
- Say, hello, Tom, you know,
1850
01:46:29,092 --> 01:46:30,259
you should have been
in Congress today.
1851
01:46:30,259 --> 01:46:31,844
- Yeah.
- You really missed--
1852
01:46:31,844 --> 01:46:35,264
Now this is ridiculous.
1853
01:46:35,264 --> 01:46:38,059
You can't do an imitation
of Alexander Hamilton,
1854
01:46:38,059 --> 01:46:40,603
nobody knows
what he sounds like.
1855
01:46:42,105 --> 01:46:44,273
Well, that's the funny part.
1856
01:46:44,273 --> 01:46:45,858
You missed the funny part, Leo.
1857
01:46:45,858 --> 01:46:48,861
I'm getting a terrible rash
on my neck.
1858
01:46:52,073 --> 01:46:53,658
I was working good
in front of the kid,
1859
01:46:53,658 --> 01:46:55,743
the routine I did
for him was funny.
1860
01:46:55,743 --> 01:46:58,913
I don't go over
with these odd kids.
1861
01:46:58,913 --> 01:47:00,540
Look at him, here I am,
right in front of him,
1862
01:47:00,540 --> 01:47:03,960
in person, for God's sake,
he's staring at me.
1863
01:47:03,960 --> 01:47:06,587
Oddness here, Murray, oddness.
1864
01:47:06,587 --> 01:47:10,800
Alexander Hamilton imitations,
jaded jokes for old men.
1865
01:47:10,800 --> 01:47:12,802
What you've done
to the kid is a shame,
1866
01:47:12,802 --> 01:47:14,303
it's a shame,
it's a shame the way
1867
01:47:14,303 --> 01:47:15,638
you brought the kid up here.
1868
01:47:15,638 --> 01:47:18,057
Grotesque atmosphere
and unhealthy.
1869
01:47:18,057 --> 01:47:20,268
Women in and out, decorators.
1870
01:47:20,268 --> 01:47:22,478
Had he been brought up
by a normal person,
1871
01:47:22,478 --> 01:47:25,565
-not in this madhouse--
- Hey, don't say that!
1872
01:47:25,565 --> 01:47:27,733
It's a certain freakish
kind of growing up,
1873
01:47:27,733 --> 01:47:29,068
freakish way of growing up.
1874
01:47:29,068 --> 01:47:31,154
Hey, are you calling me a freak?
1875
01:47:31,154 --> 01:47:34,157
You called me a freak,
now you take back what you said.
1876
01:47:34,157 --> 01:47:35,992
On June the 3rd,
I'll be 42 years old,
1877
01:47:35,992 --> 01:47:38,828
I'm standing here arguing
with a 12-year-old kid.
1878
01:47:40,246 --> 01:47:42,248
Nicky...
1879
01:47:44,876 --> 01:47:49,046
Humor is a cloudy
wonderland thing.
1880
01:47:49,046 --> 01:47:52,675
But simple and clear
as the blue, blue sky.
1881
01:47:52,675 --> 01:47:56,679
All I want is your simple honest
child's opinion of my routine,
1882
01:47:56,679 --> 01:47:59,515
but children are
too honest to be wise.
1883
01:48:02,685 --> 01:48:05,897
Well, my simple,
child reaction of what you did
1884
01:48:05,897 --> 01:48:08,733
is that you are not funny.
1885
01:48:08,733 --> 01:48:10,943
Funnier than you
is even Stuart Schlossman,
1886
01:48:10,943 --> 01:48:13,112
who is my friend and is 11
1887
01:48:13,112 --> 01:48:17,742
and puts walnuts in his mouth
and makes noises.
1888
01:48:17,742 --> 01:48:21,579
What's not funny
is to call us names.
1889
01:48:21,579 --> 01:48:25,791
And what is mostly not funny
is how sad you are,
1890
01:48:25,791 --> 01:48:27,418
and I'd feel sorry for you
1891
01:48:27,418 --> 01:48:30,421
if it wasn't
for how dull you are.
1892
01:48:30,421 --> 01:48:32,256
And those are
the worst-tasting potato chips
1893
01:48:32,256 --> 01:48:34,884
I've ever tasted,
and that's my opinion
1894
01:48:34,884 --> 01:48:37,303
from the blue, blue sky.
1895
01:48:49,148 --> 01:48:51,317
There he is,
there's the old monkey.
1896
01:48:51,317 --> 01:48:53,486
There's the old joker, right?
1897
01:48:53,486 --> 01:48:55,071
You didn't want to come back
to work for me,
1898
01:48:55,071 --> 01:48:56,906
you got me up here
to step on my face again!
1899
01:48:56,906 --> 01:48:58,115
Now, wait, Leo--
1900
01:48:58,115 --> 01:49:00,451
♪ Yes, sir, that's my baby-- ♪
1901
01:49:00,451 --> 01:49:03,704
That's the song,
that's the goodbye song.
1902
01:49:03,704 --> 01:49:05,039
Hey, hey, Leo, wait a minute.
1903
01:49:05,039 --> 01:49:06,791
Thanks for nothing,
you're raving.
1904
01:49:06,791 --> 01:49:08,793
Now look, wait a minute,
will you, I'm sorry.
1905
01:49:08,793 --> 01:49:10,419
♪ We won't have it, yes, sir ♪
1906
01:49:10,419 --> 01:49:12,088
- You better cut that out.
- Come on, Murray, take your uke,
1907
01:49:12,088 --> 01:49:13,714
we'll sing to him,
he'll go away.
1908
01:49:13,714 --> 01:49:17,051
No Nick, they can't,
now just come on, put it down.
1909
01:49:17,051 --> 01:49:18,719
Let him go away,
he called us names.
1910
01:49:18,719 --> 01:49:20,304
Will you be quiet
for just a minute?
1911
01:49:20,304 --> 01:49:24,850
Oh, Murray,
let him go away, please!
1912
01:49:24,892 --> 01:49:28,521
- Crummy and bad, you actor.
- Hey, Nick, cut it out.
1913
01:49:28,521 --> 01:49:31,732
Wait--he can't push us around,
not you and me, Murray,
1914
01:49:31,732 --> 01:49:35,152
we gotta get rid of him,
we gotta, please,
1915
01:49:35,152 --> 01:49:38,990
-please, we gotta.
- We can't, we can't.
1916
01:49:41,993 --> 01:49:44,412
Aww, kid, I'm sorry.
1917
01:49:45,413 --> 01:49:47,623
Sorry, kid.
1918
01:49:49,041 --> 01:49:51,043
I'm sorry.
1919
01:50:00,052 --> 01:50:02,680
Look, uh...
1920
01:50:02,680 --> 01:50:05,474
better go to your room.
1921
01:50:05,474 --> 01:50:07,893
This is one-room apartment.
1922
01:50:09,645 --> 01:50:12,815
Okay, then go to your alcove.
1923
01:50:22,325 --> 01:50:24,660
Hey, Leo, I hope you
didn't misunderstand,
1924
01:50:24,660 --> 01:50:25,870
-you know, we were only kidding.
- I myself--
1925
01:50:25,870 --> 01:50:27,371
I got carried away myself.
1926
01:50:27,371 --> 01:50:29,915
Yeah, well we all got
a little excited, I guess.
1927
01:50:32,126 --> 01:50:36,130
So, I'll see you at work
in the morning, Leo.
1928
01:50:36,130 --> 01:50:38,466
Great to have you back,
fella, you both hate me.
1929
01:50:38,466 --> 01:50:41,302
- Ah, now nobody hates you, Leo.
- I yelled at the kid, I'm sorry,
1930
01:50:41,302 --> 01:50:42,720
I didn't mean
to cause any upset.
1931
01:50:42,720 --> 01:50:44,972
I don't get along
too good with kids.
1932
01:50:44,972 --> 01:50:46,641
Well, don't worry about it.
1933
01:50:46,641 --> 01:50:49,602
- Wanna come have a drink--
- Ah, no, no, not tonight.
1934
01:50:49,602 --> 01:50:51,854
Some other night, huh, Leo?
1935
01:50:51,854 --> 01:50:55,066
Yeah look...after I leave,
1936
01:50:55,066 --> 01:50:57,902
you horse around with the kid
a little bit, he'll feel better.
1937
01:50:57,902 --> 01:50:59,904
- Right, Leo.
- That bit I did for him
1938
01:50:59,904 --> 01:51:01,906
was funny, wasn't it, Murray?
1939
01:51:03,908 --> 01:51:07,495
Yeah, Leo, I guess it was
just a bad day for you.
1940
01:51:07,495 --> 01:51:11,332
Bad day for the old chipmunk.
1941
01:51:13,334 --> 01:51:16,337
You don't want to leave
that statue lying
1942
01:51:16,337 --> 01:51:18,964
on the floor like that, Murray.
1943
01:51:21,634 --> 01:51:24,637
No, Leo, no.
1944
01:51:39,860 --> 01:51:42,655
See you at the studio
in the morning, you old monkey.
1945
01:51:48,452 --> 01:51:52,081
You're an old monkey, aren't ya?
1946
01:52:23,696 --> 01:52:26,532
Hey, I could use
a pastrami sandwich
1947
01:52:26,532 --> 01:52:28,367
right now, couldn't you?
1948
01:52:28,367 --> 01:52:32,371
On rye, with coleslaw
and Russian dressing?
1949
01:52:34,457 --> 01:52:36,083
Nick?
1950
01:52:39,837 --> 01:52:43,424
Guy calls us names.
1951
01:52:43,424 --> 01:52:46,260
Guy talks to us like that.
1952
01:52:47,428 --> 01:52:50,431
Shoulda got rid of that moron.
1953
01:52:53,642 --> 01:52:56,687
We coulda fooled
the welfare people or something.
1954
01:53:00,608 --> 01:53:02,818
Coulda moved to Mexico,
1955
01:53:02,818 --> 01:53:06,655
New Jersey, someplace.
1956
01:53:06,655 --> 01:53:10,493
I hear the delicatessen
in Mexico is terrible.
1957
01:53:12,495 --> 01:53:15,498
I'm gonna call
myself Theodore.
1958
01:53:18,125 --> 01:53:20,795
Okay, long as you don't
1959
01:53:20,795 --> 01:53:23,422
call yourself Beatrice.
1960
01:53:27,009 --> 01:53:29,512
All right, fool around.
1961
01:53:31,764 --> 01:53:34,934
Wait till you see a Theodore
running around here.
1962
01:53:34,975 --> 01:53:37,353
Now just wait.
1963
01:53:39,939 --> 01:53:43,150
Another couple of seconds,
he woulda been out the door.
1964
01:53:50,783 --> 01:53:52,785
Murray?
1965
01:53:54,203 --> 01:53:58,207
Why'd you let him
push us around?
1966
01:53:58,207 --> 01:54:00,876
Why'd you go chicken on me, huh?
1967
01:54:02,711 --> 01:54:05,297
Because your routines give me
1968
01:54:05,297 --> 01:54:09,718
outright, prolonged
laughter, Theodore.
1969
01:54:09,718 --> 01:54:11,929
$4.95 for a new tablecloth
1970
01:54:11,929 --> 01:54:16,517
and you leave it
around like this.
1971
01:54:16,517 --> 01:54:18,644
Perfectly new tablecloth
and already there's
1972
01:54:18,644 --> 01:54:20,646
dust all over it.
1973
01:54:24,233 --> 01:54:28,988
You know, it's very interesting
that I left my files here.
1974
01:54:28,988 --> 01:54:32,157
That I forget them,
I mean, psychologically,
1975
01:54:32,157 --> 01:54:35,578
if you want to analyze that.
1976
01:54:35,578 --> 01:54:38,789
'Course, last month I left
my handbag in the automat,
1977
01:54:38,789 --> 01:54:42,001
I have no idea
what that means at all.
1978
01:54:49,008 --> 01:54:52,219
I think that the pattern
of our relationship,
1979
01:54:52,219 --> 01:54:55,222
if we examine it,
is very intricate.
1980
01:54:55,222 --> 01:54:57,308
The different areas of it,
1981
01:54:57,308 --> 01:55:01,395
especially the whole
goodbye area of it.
1982
01:55:01,395 --> 01:55:04,231
Hello, Sandy, how are you?
1983
01:55:04,231 --> 01:55:06,650
Hello, Murray.
1984
01:55:06,650 --> 01:55:09,862
I called
the weather lady before.
1985
01:55:09,862 --> 01:55:12,698
She says it is a beautiful day.
1986
01:55:14,283 --> 01:55:16,285
Say, lady, can I help
with any of that?
1987
01:55:16,285 --> 01:55:18,871
As a matter of fact, Nick--
1988
01:55:18,871 --> 01:55:22,166
Nick, I do not think the effect,
1989
01:55:22,166 --> 01:55:24,585
I mean, the overall design
of this room
1990
01:55:24,585 --> 01:55:28,589
is really helped
by all these knickknacks.
1991
01:55:28,589 --> 01:55:30,591
- You mean the junk?
- Yes.
1992
01:55:30,591 --> 01:55:33,594
Yeah, well, it's not good
for the overall design.
1993
01:55:33,594 --> 01:55:37,431
So, Nick, if you would
just help me put the junk
1994
01:55:37,431 --> 01:55:39,850
into those cartons over there.
1995
01:55:39,850 --> 01:55:41,852
Nick.
1996
01:55:45,272 --> 01:55:46,857
Nick!
1997
01:55:46,857 --> 01:55:49,276
Wilbur.
1998
01:55:49,276 --> 01:55:52,029
Wilbur Malcolm Burns.
1999
01:56:16,220 --> 01:56:19,056
Campers!
2000
01:56:19,056 --> 01:56:22,184
The entertainment committee
was quite disappointed
2001
01:56:22,184 --> 01:56:23,811
in the really poor turnout
2002
01:56:23,852 --> 01:56:26,855
at this morning's
community sing.
2003
01:56:26,855 --> 01:56:31,276
I mean, where's all that old
Camp Chickowatomee spirit?
2004
01:56:31,276 --> 01:56:34,863
I'm sure I speak for all of us
here when I say that I--
2005
01:56:36,865 --> 01:56:39,868
And I'd like to say
right now that...
2006
01:56:41,704 --> 01:56:43,539
that...
2007
01:56:48,127 --> 01:56:50,963
Campers, I can't think
2008
01:56:50,963 --> 01:56:53,382
of anything to say.
153011
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