All language subtitles for 50.First.Dates.2004.1080p.720p.BluRay.x264.[YTS.MX]-English

So tell me. How was Hawaii?

- It was unbelievable.
- Oh, yeah?

- Well, what happened?
- I met this guy.

It was the best week of my life.

It was just a little
vacation romance.

But he was so sweet.

He took me to all these
cool local places.

We went scuba diving...

- Snorkeling.
- Mountain climbing.

We went cliff diving.

Well, we got a little drunk.

- He gave me...
- A back rub.

We slow danced...

in the rain.

But it wasn't just about the sex.

He pounded me like a mallard duck.

It ended kind of weird, though.

When I asked for his number,
he said he's...

- Married.
- Gay.

- Entering the priesthood.
- He doesn't believe in phones.

He just kind of ran away.

You know, it was just
a little fling, but...

I won't forget my week...

with Henry Roth.

- Henry Roth.
- Harry.

Harry Paratesticles.

- Henry Roth.
- Henry Roth.

Henry Roth, why didn't you tell me
you were a secret agent?

I prefer intelligence operative,
and I couldn't tell you until I knew you.

Well, can I call you when I land?

You can call me, but I'll be in Peru.
I said that a little loud.

Come on, that's a 187, code blue.
We got the wolf sleeping at night.

He's slipping his arm in the drawer
and out comes the cookie jar. All clear.

Got it?

Well, maybe when you
get back from Peru.

- I don't think that's an option, Lisa.
- Linda.

I know. I changed your name
for your protection.

We have to go our separate ways now.

Well, goodbye.

Got it! Moving out!

- What the hell is your problem?
- Just keep going, I'll give you $20.

- You got it. How's your balls?
- Killing me. Hit it.

Easy, Honah Lee.

Hey, I'm a person, not a seal.

Well, I am a vet, not a doctor. So just
hold still, or I won't give you a treat.

I know, it's okay.
You see that, kids?

You see what happens
when you play with sharks?

Now, why you gotta spread those lies?
Sharks are like dogs.

They only bite when you
touch their private parts.

That's a good title
for my documentary.

Sharks: They Only Bite When
You Touch Their Private Parts.

Or you could call it,
Sharks: They Tried to Eat My Kidney.

All right, enough already.
You too, Willie.

All of you.

He just cast a spell on us.

All right. Put this on four times
a day for two weeks.

- You can handle that.
- What's wrong with that turtle?

Lung problems because
he smoked too much turtle weed...

...which is bad for you. Right, Ula?

What? I don't smoke weed.

Hey, Honah Lee? How's that hot
wahine nympho from Ohio?

Great. I dropped her off
at the airport this morning.

Come on, I need some details.

You get some booby, some assy,
a pull on your poi-poi? Come on.

Daddy, what's a nympho?

Oh. The nympho
is the state bird of Ohio.

You're the state idiot of Hawaii.

Here you go. Bite the fish,
chew the fish, love the fish. Enjoy.

- You crack me up, kamaaina.
- Oh, yeah?

- One of these days...
- Yeah?

...you'll show one of those
tourists such a good time...

...she'll wanna stay on the island.

Why do you say
mean things like that...

...and why is your foot
on my pillow?

I don't want your ass on it, either.
Get up! Get up!

It could happen.

Then you won't be able to go
on your boat trip to Alaska.

You'll be stuck here, waking up next to
the same old, ugly broad, just like Ula.

- Just kidding, guys.
- About the old part or the ugly part?

Henry, come quickly!
It's Jocko!

Jocko! What's going on
with you, buddy?

Don't be scared.
Everything's gonna be fine.

Just stay calm. All right.

Willie, I don't need you to see this.
Get out of here, now!

Okay, check the temperature
of the pool. Go! Hurry!

What are you doing?
I meant check the thermometer!

Give me a hand. Let's go!

Get me two fish
from the barrel. Now.

- Okay.
- Just hang in there.

- Here.
- It's gonna be all right.

That's a little warm.
Go to the bottom of the barrel, please.

Okay, there. That's good. Thank you.

Come on, buddy, take it. Take it.

- He's not responding!
- I know, Alexa!

Sorry, I smacked you. You needed
the fish-slap to calm down.

- Do you understand? Are you calm?
- Yes. Fish-slap calm me.

I'm gonna try to get him
breathing manually...

...so I need your face next
to his mouth to see if it's working.

- Are you ready?
- Yes.

- One, two, three!
- Nothing, nothing!

All right! Try it again. If it doesn't
work we'll perform a tracheotomy.

We don't wanna do that, so let's
pray this works. One more time.

One, two...

That's a lot of vomit.

This is why I got into
this business.

To save sea animals.

You should go
wash yourself off, okay?

Maybe try some turpentine.
That might take the stink away.

Yeah, high-five is right, buddy.

I knew you were gonna burp,
but the vomit thing was awesome!

That's what she gets for eating
my roast beef sandwich.

Willie, did you see that?

Captain's log:
November 5th, 6: 45 a. m.

I've taken the Sea Serpent for
a trip around the island of Oahu.

It is by far the longest voyage
she has yet undertaken...

...and its completion will signal
that she's ready...

...for our great journey
to Bristol Bay...

...whose unspoiled walrus habitat
will yield an abundance of...

Damn it!

Are you kidding me?

Aloha, honey.
What can I get for you?

I guess I'll take a cup of coffee.

- You guess?
- Yeah, I already ate breakfast.

I need to kill some time before the
Coast Guard gets here to tow my boat.

What did you eat?

I had a Reese's Peanut Butter Cup
and some Gatorade.

They're not breakfast.
I get you Spam and eggs.

Nick, I need Spam and eggs.

Hey.

- You like the peanut butter cups?
- Yes.

Want me to put peanut butter cups
in your eggs?

No, that's okay.

Peanut butter cups.

- Hey, Sue, nice haircut.
- Mahalo, Lucy.

Are you staring at me or her?

Because you're starting
to freak me out.

Settle down and eat your pancakes.

I think she's a local girl.
I wanted to go up to her...

...but I was kind of off my game.
But, man, was she cute, though.

I thought you liked your bitches
from out of state.

Yeah, that's usually my policy.
Make sure I don't get tied down.

Freeze that image right there.

There's the little fella.
Congratulations, Mommy.

Sounds to me like someone
is afraid of commitment.

Let me guess.

Your high school sweetheart
got drunk at party...

...then cheated on you
with whole wrestling team.

Close. Actually, it was my
college girlfriend Tracy.

And it wasn't a wrestling team.
It was her academic advisor.

- Oh, she liked the older man.
- Older women. About 50 years older.

I hope you shot the stupid tramp.

What's with the "tramp"
and the "bitches" talk?

- Are you drunk or something?
- I apologize for nasty talk.

I am grouchy due to lack
of recent physical intimacy.

Shut up, because here comes
one-time-only opportunity.

What I will do now is go into
your office and become naked.

Next move is up to you.

I may not be as limber
as I once was...

...but I make up for it with enthusiasm
and willingness to experiment.

I don't know if you realize,
I'm not into guys.

Hey, Mr. Peanut Butter Cups.

Hey, Mr. Could-Kill-Me-in-One-Punch.
How you doing?

- You're back.
- Couldn't get enough of that Spam.

Fry some up and throw
some eggs on it.

- You got it.
- All right, mahalo.

- Hi, Lucy.
- Hi, Nick.

You know, why don't you try this?

It's kind of a hinge.

- Now, why didn't I think of that?
- Well, you're too close to the project.

Don't be hard on yourself.

Right. Sometimes you need
an outsider's perspective.

Fresh eye never hurts.

I'm Lucy.

Yes. I'm Henry Roth.

- Nice to meet you.
- Nice to meet you.

It's pretty. Keep up the good work.

Wait. I see you're sitting there alone.
Do you wanna come and sit down?

- Sure, that'd be great, if that's all right.
- Okay.

- So are you an architect?
- I am not. I'm in fish.

Oh, that's where the smell
is coming from.

Yeah, yeah, I was feeding
a walrus this morning...

...and I thought I got most of it
off of me, but guess I didn't.

- I love that smell.
- No, you don't.

- Fish don't even like that smell.
- No, I do. My dad's a fisherman.

He and my brother Doug, they go
out to sea for months at a time.

And I miss them so much while they're
gone that when they come back...

...I just hold on to them
for five minutes each.

And they smell just like your hands.
It's the best smell in the world.

Well, my fingers are available...

...for your sniffing pleasure
anytime you need them.

- Wanna?
- Okay.

Sea lions are known
for their athleticism...

...and dolphins are known
for their intelligence.

- Walruses are known for their...
- Tusks?

Their tusks. Also their male parts
can get pretty gigantic.

Yeah, yeah, it's the second biggest
out of all the mammals.

- What's the first?
- I think Tattoo-Face.

I like your laugh.

I like you making me laugh.

I hate to break this up,
but we're setting up for lunch.

Oh, okay. Sorry, Sue.

And the real cool thing about walruses
is they're very mysterious.

- Mysterious?
- Yeah, yeah.

We don't really know what
they're like in the wild.

Don't they just sleep on icebergs
and yawn all the time?

All we really see is what they do
outside of the water...

...but who knows what
they do under the ice...

...where they spend
two-thirds of their lives.

Well, maybe they're intimidating the
other creatures with their big winkies.

That is one theory.

- I have to go.
- Where you going?

It's my dad's birthday, and we go
every year and we pick a pineapple.

- It's a tradition.
- That sounds nice. Okay, well...

...I had a great time.

- Me too.
- Okay.

Would you like to have breakfast
again tomorrow morning, same time?

- Because I teach an art class at 10.
- Really?

- Yeah.
- I wish I could make it...

...but, yes, I will be there.

- Take care.
- Okay.

- One for the road. It is fishy.
- Got you good.

- Aloha.
- Aloha!

See you tomorrow.

Oh, my God.

Oh, my goodness.

Shit.

I had a bee on me.

- All right.
- He was a big one.

Which means
"look at those two shitheads. "

That was the stupidest-looking
swing I've ever seen.

I'm gonna take a Molokai
on that one.

No throwing. Come on.

Stop laughing, you hyenas.
Let's see what you get.

Okay, you heard me. Go! Go!

Show papa what you got.

- You suck, you're good at everything.
- Father of the Year strikes again.

By the way, cuz, I met this sexy, blond
tax attorney at Starbucks today.

I told her you the kahuna
she wanna have fun on this island.

You want her number?

You pimping tourists for me again?

Yes! I live vicariously
through you, remember?

My life sucks.

Now, come on. Give her the Waikikiki
sneaky between the cheeky.

Ula needs it. I imagine I did it and then
I can get through another weekend.

I'm staying in. Sorry.
Thank you, though.

- What?
- Hey, Dad!

Not now, Keanu Mokokokakau.

But your stitches are bleeding.

It must've been my huge back-swing.

You think you can stitch me up
after I get back from surfing?

- Yeah, looking forward to it.
- I wouldn't surf with a wound like that.

You might attract a shark.

What's wrong with that?
Sharks are naturally peaceful.

Is that right?
How'd you get that nasty cut, anyway?

A shark bit me.

Nice.

Go smoke another one, bro.

That shark theory's
starting to catch on.

Now, will everybody keep it down...

...while I whack the crap
out of this thing?

Sit! Stay! Shit! No!

Where the hell is it?

Looking for something?

Oh, my God!
What are you doing here?

The same thing you are.
Looking for my ball.

This is weird. I've been thinking
about you all morning, all day.

Can't wait to have breakfast
with you again.

I know. And I just wanna eat you up.

- Really?
- Yeah. Tomorrow and the next day...

...and the next day and the next day.
- All right. Okay.

Oh, my.

Oh, Lucy, that feels so good.

No, my nipples are too sensitive.
Stop that.

- What happened?
- Your ball hooked into that cart...

...bounced back and hit you in
the head. It was freaking hilarious.

- What?
- Who's Lucy?

And what's up with your nipples?

I can't be falling for a local.
I ain't ever going back to that diner.

- This where you got hit?
- Yes!

You're so lucky you're a professional
cliff diver in Hawaii.

- Yeah, well, it's a living.
- I'm a tax attorney.

- We never get to have any fun.
- Is that right?

I'd like to do something
extra fun tonight.

Taking it deep, aren't you?

How about another
fishbowl for the lady?

- Why don't I just tap a keg for her?
- Okay.

I think I'm getting kind of drunk.

- Are you getting drunk?
- Getting there.

So, what are you thinking?

What am I thinking?

Actually, I'm not drunk at all,
Noreen, and neither are you...

...because there's no alcohol
in these drinks.

Sadly, I've used this technique
many times.

It helps lovely tourists,
such as yourself...

...loosen up without impairing
your ability to stay awake...

...and have guilt-free,
vigorous sex with me.

- Wow.
- I'm sorry.

I'm not a cliff diver, either.
I'm afraid of heights.

Well, since it's my last night in town...

...can I pretend you didn't just say that
and still have sex with you anyway?

I can't do it. I'm sorry.

Well, can you at least point me in
the direction of someone who can?

That guy over there
could help you out.

- Isn't that a woman?
- Jeez, I'm not really sure.

But you're too drunk to notice,
remember? Take care.

- Hey, you. Aloha.
- Aloha.

Not aloha, "hello," aloha, "goodbye. "
We're closed today. Go away.

- What are you talking about?
- Order up!

- Don't move. I have to talk to you.
- Okay.

- Hey! Tattoo-Face!
- Hey, Peanut Butter Cups!

Hi.

Hi.

My fingers are extra fishy today,
if you care to take a whiff.

What was that?

I was petting my walrus all morning
and thinking of you the whole time.

Okay, pervert.
I think that you should leave.

What? I was joking because
of what we talked about yesterday.

Yesterday?

I've never even met you.

- Nick! I need help!
- Coming, Lucy.

Nick, put that down.
I'll handle it.

- You, follow me.
- Wait a... What's going on?

I was kidding around with you!

What's happening here?
Is she crazy or something?

Lucy is a very special person.
Very different from other people.

Okay.

About a year ago, Lucy was
in a terrible car accident.

She and her father went up
North Shore to get a pineapple.

Her father broke some ribs, but Lucy
suffered a serious head injury.

She lost her short-term memory.

So she can't remember anything?

No, no, no, she has all of her
long-term memory.

That's a different part
of the brain.

Her whole life, up to the night before
the accident, she remembers.

She just can't retain
any new information.

It's like her slate gets wiped clean
every night while she sleeps.

Hold on. This sounds like something
I would tell a psycho girl...

...so she'd stop calling me.
Am I the psycho girl?

I wish I was making this up!

She has no memory
that she ever met you.

What about the
pineapple-picking thing?

She says that every day,
because each morning...

...she wakes up thinking it's
October 13th of last year.

She comes for breakfast because
that's what she did on Sundays...

...and October 13th
was a Sunday.

She has no idea
it's more than a year later.

She reads the newspaper.

It's a special paper her father
puts on their porch.

It's from the day of her accident.
He got hundreds of them printed.

Lucy does the same thing every day.

- Hello!
- Back here.

- Hi, Dad!
- Oh, hi, sweetie.

You got one without me.

The lady at the farmers' market
gave it to me as a birthday present.

I didn't wanna hurt her feelings.

I think she likes you.

- Yeah, what's not to like?
- What about our tradition?

Well, I have another idea.
I painted my workshop yesterday.

White.

Now it's too white.
Gives me a headache.

Oh, yeah, you definitely
need some color in here.

Well, you know,
that's what I was thinking.

- Really?
- Yeah. Go nuts.

- Paint me something for my birthday.
- I will.

And promise that we can pick
a pineapple for Thanksgiving, okay?

- Sounds great.
- Okay, good.

Hey, you should watch the Vikings
game while I'm painting.

Good idea.

- Yeah, baby. Isolate.
- What are we eating tonight, Doug?

- Spaghetti, Pop.
- Try not to sweat in the sauce.

Sorry, Pop.

Go Vikings.

Seven hundred and five.
Seven hundred and six.

- Seven hundred and seven.
- Hey, you guys.

Hey, sweetie.
How's the painting coming?

- You'll see.
- Cool.

- Oh. What's the score?
- The Vikings are on the two-yard line.

- Lf they score, they bring it to 14-10.
- Maybe they'll win for your birthday.

And I'll bet Culpepper runs it in.

I'll bet he fakes a handoff to Williams,
throws to Kleinsasser in the end zone.

- Loser does the dishes?
- You're on.

Keep the offense on the field.

Culpepper fakes a handoff
to Williams. He will throw.

He's got Kleinsasser in the end zone!
Touchdown, Minnesota.

Doug, you're good.

Maybe you should be a coach.

- Dad.
- Moron!

That hurt.

And you don't look a day over 25.

Yeah, right, and Doug's muscles
aren't pharmaceutically enhanced.

What? I use an herb supplement...

...that can be purchased at any
health-food store. Check this out.

Check out these glutes.
Rock-hard, baby.

Pretty sweet, huh?

Stop it! You're gonna make me
throw up on the cake.

Okay, just open your present.

Okay. Let's see what we've got here.

The Sixth Sense.

Hey! When I'm done doing the dishes,
do you guys wanna watch it?

- Sure.
- Sure.

Ben Friedkin?

Some people, they call me freak.

- Ronald Sumner?
- I am. I am a freak. Look at me.

Just give me a chance...

I can't believe it.
Bruce Willis is a ghost.

I'm shocked.
Did you see that coming?

- No.
- Not a clue.

- Shocked as hell.
- Anyway, it was awesome.

- Happy birthday.
- Love you, Sis.

Your muscles are getting so big, I can
barely wrap my arms around you.

You like that?
Check this out.

Okay, okay! Enough with the titty
dance! Let your sister go to sleep.

- I like it.
- Sweet dreams, Lucy.

- Good night.
- Good night.

Hey, Tracy, how you doing?

Yeah?

Well, things changed a little bit
since high school.

And this is what happens
every single day.

How long it gonna take for
her memory to come back?

Her doctors say it may
never come back.

So, basically,
what you're saying is...

...she's perfect for you.
- What do you mean?

You can hang out all day with
no attachment, because...

Her plane leaves every night?
There's a problem with that.

- What is?
- It's evil.

No, it isn't.

You meet her, hang out, flirt,
no commitment, nobody gets hurt.

- She's got brain damage, you psycho.
- Okay, I'll give you that one.

But I think it'd be healthy for you.

You haven't allowed yourself
to connect with a girl.

I appreciate your interest,
but leave me alone.

Hey, you'd be doing exactly
what her father does:

Giving her a wonderful day.

When it's time for you to go on your
big boat trip, poof, you just leave.

She'll never even know you're gone.

I'm not sure about the "poofing" part,
because I'm not a good poofer.

Demonstrate a good poof for me?

Quit busting my coconuts
for five seconds.

All right. Would you stop poofing
on that joint and do some work?

Okay. Let's get this sucker ready.

Then we're gonna take her
out for a spin.

Captain's log: November 7th.
Nearly midnight.

The Sea Serpent is fully
recovered from her mishap...

...and ready to once again
brave the open ocean.

I think my stitches
opened up again, cuz.

You got a cat?
Because I feel something licking me.

How is it?

Peanut Butter Cups.
What are you doing here?

I just wanted to say hi to Lucy.

I promise you I'm not gonna
do anything wrong.

What did Sue say?

She said that if I talk to Lucy,
you'll kill me with a meat cleaver.

She's the boss, cuz.
But don't worry.

Lucy probably didn't wanna
talk to you anyway.

- What does that mean?
- This ain't a disco.

She doesn't want guys hitting on her
during her breakfast.

She does if it's Henry Roth.

- Who that?
- Who that? Me that.

I bet you 20 bucks I can get her
to have breakfast with me again.

- You're on.
- I love it.

- How you doing, honey?
- Hey, Sue. Nice haircut.

Oh, mahalo.
See you in a bit.

Nick and I have an arrangement.
You can trust me.

Don't worry.

You should try this out.
Put it in there.

Swivelly door.

Waffleonians can
come in and out now.

Are you from a country where it's
okay to stick your fingers...

...all over someone else's food?

No, I'm from this country.

Why? Were you gonna eat that? Oh.

All right, well, have a good meal.

- Yeah.
- That was pathetic.

Yeah? Why don't you choke
on your Spam?

Double or nothing tomorrow.

Hey. I'm sorry to bother you...

...but you look like a person
who appreciates fine art...

...so I wanted your opinion.

I drew this. It's a picture of a father
and son fishing off a fishing boat.

There's a walrus right there...

Oh, you don't speak English. Okay.

Doesn't look Chinese.

Forty.

Can I have that?

I need something
to wipe my ass with.

Shut up.

I wonder what's the matter with him.

Looks like a stupid asshole to me.

Excuse me. Okay.
I didn't mean to startle you.

- No, that's all right. L...
- Are you okay?

Yeah, I'm fine. I'm having
a problem with something...

Something that I could help you with?

No, no, no. I just...

...can't read.

You gotta be kidding me.

- I can read that for you.
- No. Thank you.

I can do this on my own.

Appreciate the sentiment.

I'm gonna get an order of the...

Pan...

Pan...

Panku...

Ca...

Panclocks.

- Pancakes.
- Okay, I'll have pancake.

- Pancakes.
- Pancah... Pancakes! Pancakes!

- I'm so stupid!
- Oh, don't cry.

- Stupid. Stupid. Stupid.
- Don't cry.

- I don't know anything!
- What a loser.

I'll tell you what.
Why don't you sit with me?

You can have some breakfast and
I'll help teach you some of the words.

- Okay.
- All right.

- That sounds nice.
- Come on over.

- Okay, thank you.
- All right.

So I comes before the E?

- Except after C?
- Yes.

Okay, and C is that little
half a squiggly one, right?

- Yes.
- I think I'm getting it.

- How'd you get so good at teaching?
- I'm a teacher. I do it all the time.

I'm an art teacher at
the Haluki-liki Junior High.

Well, you Haluki-liki the kind of
teacher all the kids have crushes on.

I know I would if I was in your class.

Okay.

Oh, boy, do my...
My fingers smell like fish.

That doesn't gross you out, does it?

No, not at all.

Really?

If Lucy gets hurt, I'm gonna chop you
with the meat cleaver.

Okay, okay.

So I had a nice time.

- Yeah, me too.
- Thank you very much.

- Let me get it for you.
- Thank you.

Sure.

Okay.

I just want to eat you up, tomorrow
and the next day, next day, next day...

I'll see you around.

Okay.

Really? That's it?

- That's what?
- All that flirting...

...and phony "I can't read" stuff,
and you're not gonna ask me out...

...or for my phone number?

- I can't read.
- Oh, shut up.

That was one of the goofiest things
I've ever seen, but I thought:

"Hey, if this guy is so desperate
to meet me...

...he might be worth talking to. "

But then I get stiffed.

No, no, no,
this is what happened. I...

Mahalo for the ego boost.

- You're right. You're right. I feel like...
- No worries.

I gotta...
I can read a little!

I didn't know I came before E!
That one I didn't know, I swear.

Oh, you idiot.

I hope you're happy, Shamu.

Marlin. It's Sue.

- Oh, aloha, sir. My name's Henry...
- I know who you are.

- I want to apologize to your daughter.
- Not gonna happen.

She's inside.
We're gonna straighten things out.

Dad, the damn mongoose
got in the garbage again!

- Is this the guy?
- Yeah.

Mr. Roth, I have one simple request:

Stay away from my daughter.

Absolutely. I hurt her feelings
and don't want it to end like that.

It's gonna end like this.

Calm down, little fellow.

I'm gonna kill you! You're a dead man.
Okay, I'm calm.

I'm calm.

- Let me help you up.
- I got it! I got it.

It's just Dad and I work too hard
to protect Lucy to let some idiot ruin it.

I know what you guys do
and I totally respect that.

If you know her condition, you know
she can't have a normal relationship.

The next morning,
she won't know who he is.

And any guy who's okay with that...

...ain't okay with me.

- I'm not looking for a one-night stand.
- Anything with Lucy is, numb-nuts.

Give us a break.
Just stay away from the Hukilau Cafe.

My daughter's been through enough.

Okay. I'm sorry.

I could have whooped his ass,
but this gravel, I slipped on it...

Yeah, well, maybe you need to do
a few more butt flexes.

Cheap shot, Dad.

So fresh and so clean.

Hey, Alexa, did you hook up
with that girl from the bar?

- I chickened out.
- Really?

Yeah, I don't know.
I guess I prefer sausage to taco.

- What?
- Yeah. No, I agree, buddy.

Get out of here.
Run for the hills.

Let me ask you something, Alexa.

If you promised a girl's dad
that you wouldn't see her...

...would you consider that
a binding promise?

- Absolutely.
- Yeah?

Then again, there are always ways
around such things.

- Like?
- For example...

...if I promised a woman's father
I would not see her...

...I would simply shut my eyes
while she serviced my manhood.

That's actually a cool way to look at it.

And a very gross way.

He asked me not to go to the Hukilau.
I'm not going there.

I'm not doing anything wrong.

Sorry to bother you.
I'm kind of stuck here.

- Car trouble?
- Yeah. You mind giving me a jump?

Okay.

Appreciate your time.

Not everybody would have stopped.

- You're real sweet.
- Oh, yeah. Thank you.

I can't believe you fell for that.

Well, my grandfather died
trying to jump-start a car.

I'm sorry.
I was just joking around.

I can't believe you fell for that!

Oh, my God.

That was very good.

- My name's Henry.
- I'm Lucy.

Nice to meet you.
You look like a nice...

Hi. Sorry for the delay.
Should be a few minutes.

- No problem. No worries.
- Where you coming from?

Breakfast?

- Yeah.
- How was it?

I had waffles. They were delicious.

I like making little houses
out of waffles.

- You do?
- That's my thing.

- What's your name?
- Lucy.

Hi, I'm Henry.

Okay, pal. When she stops,
just let her pet you. Look cute.

Go to the middle of the road.
Thank you. Right there. Perfect.

- Oh, shit.
- Here she comes. Smile.

Where is she?

Oh, my God. Oh, no!

Okay. That didn't work.

Shit your pants? So did I.

Okay, this is her.
Start beating me up.

Make it look good.

Give me your wallet!

Okay, haole, what do you think?
You can come to this island...

...eat our pineapple...
- Help me! Not so hard.

- Take it easy.
- Try to bang our women.

Making my sister
clean your hotel room.

Okay. What's that have to do
with this? Relax.

- Hey! Hey! Help me, please!
- Stupid haole!

Yeah, that's right. Take that!
And that! And that!

And that! And that!

You got him. You got him.
Enough. Enough.

- Are you okay?
- Yes, yes...

Okay, I'll be back.
Come here!

No, no! I think he's had enough.

I'm sorry.

My eye!

- You got him!
- Not good enough!

Oh, Kamehameha!

He learned his lesson!

- What's your name?
- My name's Henry.

- You did good.
- Hi. Sorry.

I'm in a community-watch program...

Oh, you crazy bitch!

Yeah, keep running!

Okay, okay, he's... He's gone now.

Not her. False alarm.

Don't worry, I called the cops already.
I'm all set.

Yeah? You all set for this, Mr. Smarty?

- Oh, shit.
- Yeah.

When you're finished playing your
kidnap-victim crap on my daughter...

...come by the house.

Okay.

Oh, boy.

There's something I wanna show you.

We figured it out. She only sings
on days she meets you.

You're kidding me. That song?

That's Mom and Dad's song.

When her mom was alive,
Lucy would have me take that tape...

...on every fishing trip I went on.
- Oh, yeah?

Yeah, she knew it would make me
miss her mom...

...and want to come home sooner.

I'm seeing a new side to you, sir.
I gotta tell you, it's grossing me out.

Let me ask you something.

What's in it for you?
What do you get out of this?

I don't know.

Wouldn't you want to spend
an hour a day with that?

Actually, no. She sings like shit.

- What?
- Can I ask you guys something?

What'll happen down the line?
Someday she'll wake up...

...look in the mirror and notice
she aged 10 years overnight.

You know something, Henry?

I worry about that
every damn day of my life.

Pardon me.

Sorry to interrupt, but I noticed we
were both eating alone...

...and I thought I could sit with you,
maybe build a syrup Jacuzzi...

...for your waffle house?
- Oh, that would be nice...

...but I have a boyfriend.

So I'm sorry.

You're making up a boyfriend
to get rid of me?

No, I'm not.

What's his name, then?

Ringo.

Is his last name Starr?

- No. McCartney.
- McCartney, okay.

- Oh, no.
- All right. I'm sorry.

No! This cop is writing me a ticket!

Oh, whoa, whoa.
I wouldn't go out there.

- Wait, wait, wait!
- Go on!

I'm coming.

The tags don't expire
for seven months.

- They expired May of this year.
- No! No, no!

They expire May of next year.

I think there's been
a misunderstanding.

- I don't.
- This is ridiculous.

I'm not paying for this!
It's October!

Excuse me. Can I borrow this?
Look, October!

Lucy, let's go back inside.

What?

What?

Having a bad day, Doug!

Sweetheart...

...these are from the accident.

Oh, no!

I can feel it.

You were in the hospital
for three months, sweetheart.

I have to talk to this doctor.
I need to hear it from him.

You have heard it, sweetie.
Many times.

I have?

I'll take her.

I have to hear for myself too.

Doug, just take this, okay?
I can't...

I can't look at it anymore.

- It's gonna be all right, Luce.
- Don't call me Luce. I barely know you.

Sweetie, you're sort of dating him.

Sorry I'm not better-looking.

What else happened
since last October?

- What about my students?
- Miss Campbell took over your class.

- Did Alicia marry that guy?
- Yeah.

Doug, did you win
the Mr. Hawaii contest?

I didn't know there was gonna be
a urine test.

Wow.

Do we have sex?

No, we don't.
Just so everybody knows that.

We want to.

Just kidding.

So you guys have to just lie
to me every day.

Hey, Lucy.
Good to see you again.

What the hell's her problem?

She doesn't remember
who you are, brah.

Oh, yeah.

I suck at this job.

Lucy, these are your
brain scans here.

I'm afraid they show
no improvement.

The temporal lobe
was severely damaged.

What we believe is scar tissue
here is impairing your ability...

...to convert short-term memory into
long-term memory while you sleep.

The condition's come to be known
as Goldfield Syndrome.

- Who's Goldfield?
- A brilliant Lithuanian psychiatrist.

He himself suffered
temporal-lobe damage.

Took him four years
to publish his findings...

...because he had to keep
starting over from scratch.

Obviously, your sense of humor
is still intact, and that's here.

Magnificent amygdala as well.

- Doctor, I have a question.
- I'd be happy to answer it...

...but as I've told you before, this is a
hygienic facility. Shirts are required.

- Oh, okay.
- Nice move.

Listen, doctor, this...

...friend of mine's been experimenting
a little with steroids.

He's been having a lot
of wet dreams.

Could there be a connection
between them?

Douglas, get off the juice.

As for the nocturnal emissions,
why don't you take a swim...

...buy a shirt with no holes,
find a wahine and take her to dinner.

I'll tell my friend you said so.

In any case, Lucy,
your condition is stable...

...but most likely permanent.

I'm so sorry, dear.

But it could be worse.

Yeah? How?

I think you should meet
Ten Second Tom.

Callahan Institute is the leading
brain-injury clinic in the Pacific Rim.

We are funded out of Sandusky, Ohio
by T.B. Callahan...

...the automotive-components tycoon
and philanthropist.

And now, I would like
to introduce to you...

...our most distinguished
clinical subject...

...Tom.

- Hi. I'm Tom.
- Henry.

- Marlin.
- Doug.

- Lucy.
- Hi.

Cool flip-flops.
Where'd you get them?

You like those? It's interesting.
I was on the North Shore...

Hi, I'm Tom.

- Henry.
- Hi.

- Marlin.
- Tom lost part of his brain...

...in a hunting accident.
His memory lasts 10 seconds.

I was in an accident? That's terrible.

Don't worry.
You'll get over it in seconds.

Get over it? I mean, what happened?
Did I get shot in the brain...?

- Hi, I'm Tom.
- Hi, I'm Lucy.

- Hi.
- Doug.

- Hey.
- Marlin.

Hey, Tom, can I tell you a secret?

Don't you think you're a little old
to still have wet dreams?

- They liked that.
- Hi, I'm Tom.

- Yeah, watch yourself, Tom.
- Easy.

- I'm gonna go to sleep.
- All right. Good night.

Good night, you guys.
I'll see you tomorrow.

- And I guess I'll see you too?
- Oh, yeah.

You had a rough day today.
I'm sorry.

I hope you get some rest tonight.

Okay.

Good night.

So how you getting home?

- You gonna take the Likelike or...
- Hey.

Thank you for being
so nice to me today.

- Sure.
- I don't want you to...

...strike out tomorrow.

So maybe you could talk
to me about...

...lilies.

Lilies?

I'm a sucker for lilies.

Thanks for the tip.

Good night.

My, oh, my.

- Lover-boy.
- Yes, sir.

You don't have to rush off.
Stick around.

You've earned yourself
a couple beers.

So what'll you do when
you finish the boat?

Actually, I'm going on a trip soon...

...to study undersea
Pacific walrus behaviors.

Sounds kind of fruity.

- Thank you.
- How long is it gonna take?

About a year.

Guess you won't miss days like this.

Well, maybe days like this
don't have to be so bad.

What are you trying to say?

When you guys tell her...

...she's not just finding out
about the accident.

She's finding out that her life
is basically a setup.

I think that freaks her out the most.

- You're an expert now?
- No.

I'm saying I wish there was
another way besides:

"Sorry we couldn't trick you today.
Here's pictures of your broken head. "

- You want a broken head?
- You'll give him one?

No, Daddy, I thought
you was gonna do it.

Nobody's gotta break my head.
I'm gonna split anyways.

Oh, don't go just because
my son is psychotic.

Good night. Sweet dreams.
Keep them dry there, Doug.

Very funny.

- Excuse me. Lucy Whitmore?
- Yes?

I have a delivery for you.

- A delivery for me?
- Yes.

Oh, they're beautiful.

- Who are they from?
- That I can't tell you.

It's a secret admirer.
He also wants you to have this.

- Who's your friend, Lucy?
- Oh, well, I mean, I don't know.

We just met, but look.

I have a secret admirer.

Oh, really? What's this?

It's a videotape.

A videotape of what?

I have no idea.

But I have to find out.

Happy birthday, Daddy.

- Thank you, sweetie.
- That's right. Happy birthday, sir.

- What are you, 200 today?
- That's cute.

- What are you doing?
- I wanted to try something different.

If it doesn't work,
we've only wasted one day.

Martha Stewart faced charges...

Oh, God!

Okay, I think it's on. Go. Go.

Aloha! I'm Henry Roth.

We met here at the Hukilau Cafe
about a year after your accident.

I like you and you like me, most days.

Every day is different, but basically
this is what happens, Lucy.

Kikikoloko, take the camera.

- I got it.
- Don't drop it.

Okay, all right.
Here we are, right here.

The part of you in this reenactment...

...will be played
by my good friend, Ula.

Aloha. Sorry about your brain.

I had a accident too.

Believe it or not, this my good eye.

- We ready?
- Yeah.

Hi. I like that waffle teepee
that you have built.

Oh! So nice of you to notice.
Please, sit down.

I would love to.

My name is Henry, by the way.

My name is Lucy.

Smell my fingers?

Fish. Right on.

So, Lucy, I work at an aquarium.

Aquariums make me super horny.

That's not funny.
Don't rub those.

Sorry, Mr. Whitmore,
if you're watching.

It's very late,
and my friend's unstable.

Come on, stop with the licking!
You're making me sick.

Lucy, I'm sorry.

Anyways, I know you wish I was
making all this stuff up.

I wish I was too.

But the good news is...

...so many people out there
care about you:

Your dad and Doug and a couple
of your friends here at the Hukilau...

...who have a message for you.

Lucy, as you know,
your mother and I were best friends.

That's why I promised her that
I would always help look after you.

Sometimes life isn't very fair...

...but we still have you.

Oh, and if you're wondering about
this guy who's making this tape...

...he's okay.

Hey, Lucy. Just so you know,
since you lost your memory...

...I became governor of Hawaii.

No, just kidding. I'm too smart.

Kualaliku! Get your brother
off the dishwasher!

So whenever you're ready,
we'd all love to talk to you...

...and answer any questions
you have...

...and you're the best, Lucy. Aloha.

How many times
have I watched this?

This is the first time.

Okay, she cried for about an hour.
That's not too bad.

I bet in another hour she'll be ready
to see her friends, have lunch...

...get her life back.

We could do this every day.

We'll leave it up to her.

All right.

So how's the cow?

Same as you. Every day they
have to convince her she's a cow.

Wow, look. The bark is healing.

You're gonna get there.

I never hung out with you
in the afternoon like this.

In this lighting, man, oh, man,
you look...

...disgusting.

Yeah.

I don't know how you get me to fall for
that egg-shaped head every morning.

All I have to do is slide on
my designer jeans...

...and just kind of wiggle
in front of you. You go nuts.

Why couldn't I have met you one day
before the accident?

Don't worry, because if you hung out
with me for more than one day...

...you'd realize I'm a bore.

- Oh, well, I have news for you.
- Yes?

It takes less than one day.

You know something?
That hurt.

Your damaged temporal lobe
is causing me pain...

...and I'm gonna get you for that.

Now you're dead!

- I can't believe you're pregnant.
- I know.

- And I got her on the first try.
- Yeah. Easy.

And, Tammy, you are so thin.

Thanks, Luce.

And I'm so glad you finally got...

...that gender-reassignment surgery,
Jennifer. I mean, Jonathan.

Mahalo.

- Here you go, Lucy.
- Thank you.

- You're welcome.
- You must be Lucy's friend.

- The one who made the tape.
- I think he's more than my friend.

- You're my boyfriend, right?
- Yes, ma'am.

So every day you help her
to realize what happened...

...and you wait patiently for her
to be okay with it...

...then get her to fall in love
with you again?

Yes, ma'am.

You asshole!

You don't even open the fricking car
door for me anymore.

You're in trouble.

I gotta go tinkle.

Okay, so tell me a little bit more
about yourself.

Okay. Well, I've...

...won over seven all-you-can-eat
chicken-wing contests.

- Really?
- Yes.

And I'm a ballet dancer,
but only in my bathroom.

No, what do you want to know?

Do you love me?

I didn't mean to put you on the spot.

I was just asking more for
informational purposes.

It's to keep the video as up-to-date
as possible.

Sure.

Well, love is a very loaded word.

Let's see. I...

I go to this restaurant every morning,
and I see you there, reading.

And...

I love you very much.

Probably more than anybody could
love another person.

And how do I feel about you?

You're excited about
the chicken-wing thing.

And...

...you've been dying to make out
with me for some time now.

Feeling better now?

Nothing beats a first kiss.

There's nothing like a first kiss.

Nothing beats a first kiss.

That's what I've heard.

Nothing beats a first...

What are you doing?

Nothing. I was just getting
some lint off for you.

You were going for a feelski!

All right, I'm sorry, but this is like the
23rd time we've made out already...

...and they're getting blue.

I know. I know.

I mean, I really don't know.

For me, it still feels like the first time.

Okay, let's average it out then.

It's the 23rd time for me
and the first time for you.

- That's about our 12th time.
- Yeah?

Now, Hawaiian law clearly states
after the 12th date...

...I'm entitled to unlimited
boob access.

Why didn't I meet you one day
before the accident?

You say that all the time.

You want to meet a friend of mine?

All right.

Jocko, this is Lucy.
Lucy, this is Jocko.

Wow! Thank you. Nice to meet you.

He is awesome! He is so smart.

Check this out. Jocko, what does
the teapot do when the water's ready?

- Very good.
- Can I ask him a question?

Go ahead.

Jocko...

...do you think that Henry and I
are ready to take our relationship...

...to the next level?

You sure about that?

Do you think I should bring him
into the other room...

...and take advantage of him?

I saw that hand gesture.

- And I'm glad you did it.
- Really?

- Use that.
- Oh, wow. Look!

- Yeah.
- They're...

They're nodding in approval, I hope.

They like you. Let me get them
out of there.

Mary-Kate, Ashley, get a life.
Thank you. Sorry.

- Oh, they're very nice, though.
- Yeah, so are you.

Let me get you down slow.

- Thank you.
- My pleasure.

All right, I just wrote this,
so go easy on me.

The Hukilau was the place

Where I first saw your face

We liked each other right away

But you didn't remember me
The very next day

Forgetful Lucy

Has got a nice caboose-y

I used to trick you into pulling
Your car over so we could chat

But my favorite time was when you
Beat the shit out of Ula with a bat

And we drove up to see Dr. Keats

And found out why Doug always
Has to change his sheets

Forgetful Lucy

Cracked her head like Gary Busey

But I still love her so

And I'll never let her go

Even if while I'm singing this song

She's wishing I had
Jocko the Walrus' schlong

Forgetful Lucy

Her lips are so damn juicy

How about another first kiss

Can't fall asleep.

I'm not sleeping.

I'm just closing my eyes.

Well, I'm gonna go downstairs then.

No, no. I'm just resting.

Lucy.

Yeah.

Will you marry me?

- Of course.
- Good.

Don't forget about me.

Never.

Good morning.

Oh, shit!

- Help! Help!
- Whoa, whoa, whoa. Lucy.

Lucy! Lucy! Hey, hey, hey.

I know this is hard for you
to understand...

...but we are actually
seeing each other.

We have been for a while now.

Oh! Lucy! Lucy! Lucy!

If I was lying,
how would I know this?

You're an art teacher and you go
to the Hukilau every Sunday...

...and you make waffle houses
and you like Casablanca lilies.

- Stalker!
- No, don't you remember me a little?

I may not be able to kick your ass,
but my sister can.

Thanks, buddy.

Little Sammy Sosa's a bit shook up,
but she'll be okay.

She's watching the tape as we speak.

How's my temporal lobe
looking there, doc?

Don't worry. You're not gonna suffer
any short-term memory loss.

But was your head shaped like an egg
before she hit you?

Don't make fun of Henry.
It's not his fault it's shaped like that.

Note the intense overreaction.
That's the "roids" talking.

- Doug, once again, off the juice.
- It's not juice.

It's a protein shake.

Henry, the boys tell me you're setting
sail for Alaska to study walruses.

- When does that adventure begin?
- That actually began...

...ten years ago. That's when I started
planning and building my boat.

All I know is, out of all mammals,
they have the second-largest penis.

I have the first.

That's my joke.

Did you tell Lucy about this trip?

Well...

...actually, there's nothing to tell
because I decided not to go.

I mean, Lucy needs me here.

I'm just worried about
going away for a year...

...and ruining all the progress
she's made.

I know you think I'm crazy...

...but I think deep down inside...

...she's starting to remember me.
- No, Henry.

That's what you want to believe.
It's what we all want to believe.

But it's never gonna happen.

Okay. I gotta go to work.

Will you tell her I'll be back later
to pick her up?

See you, guys. Don't tell anyone
your sister beat me up.

He could go to the moon and back and
Lucy would never even know he left.

Sometimes I wish my wife
had Goldfield Syndrome.

That way she wouldn't remember
when I called her mother...

...a loud, obnoxious drunk with a face
like J. Edgar Hoover's ass.

All right. There's your medicine,
little fellow.

Ula! Get back to cleaning the pool!

If that's one of your special brownies,
don't let any of the dolphins eat that.

How do you think I get them to
double flip and play with white kids?

Okay, Willie, that's it.

This time try to stay clean
for more than a day.

I made you a nice anchovy sundae.

Okay, enjoy that.

Henry?

- Hey!
- How's your head?

- Oh, it's fine. Don't worry.
- Good.

What brings your royal cuteness
out here?

I needed to see you.

Okay. What you got there?

It's my journal. I write in it every night.

- Oh, you don't like the video?
- No, I love it.

It's just sometimes when I watch it,
I feel like I'm being told about my life...

...from someone else.
And when I read this...

...it's like I'm telling myself.

When did you start this up?

Right after you gave me the video.

- Really?
- I was so nervous to come here...

...and meet the guy that makes me
fall in love with him every day.

Well, you probably thought
I couldn't live up to the hype.

No. I was nervous because...

Because I came here
to break up with you.

You had plans and a life...

...before you met me
and now all you have time for...

...is to make me fall in love with you.

That's not all I do.
I gave a penguin a bath today.

Which I'll have to do again tomorrow.

I look at my dad and my brother's
lives and I won't do that to you.

What do you want me to do? Be some
chapter in your scrapbook and go?

No.

My plan is to erase you completely,
so it's as if you never existed.

Why are you doing this?

Because you have to understand
that there is no future with me.

Don't you want to have a career
and marriage and children?

I asked you to marry me. You said yes.

Kids? Yeah, I'd love to do it.

But how is that going to work?

I'm gonna wake up every morning with
an enormous belly and no memory...

...of how it happened?

I have to make a new journal
that doesn't have you in it.

But before I do...

...I really want you to read
what I wrote about you.

I will read about it tomorrow...

...when you forget about all this
breaking up stuff, okay?

I'm not going to forget it.
I wrote it down. I won't let myself.

And I'm gonna do it whether
you want me to or not.

I'll be at my house.

Okay, type this one in there.

Saturday, November 25th.

I drove out to Callahan Institute today
and had a talk with Dr. Keats.

There's one about me.

Reminder: He makes funny noises
when I kiss his neck.

I'm gonna miss that.

You sure you don't want me
to put that in?

- We can skip that one.
- No, let me read it.

We made love tonight! It didn't
last long, but it was incredible.

It's not all about how long you go. It's...
There was a connection, I thought.

Actually, let's just rip that out.

Well, that's that.

Henry, wait!

Could I have one last first kiss?

- I ain't gonna do this, Marlin.
- You have to, Henry.

I'm gonna miss you, but I gotta
get the hell off this island.

I'm sorry I can't take you...

...but you've lived here so long you're
too big of a pansy to defend yourself.

I don't feel bad for you. I know you
got a thing going on with Candace.

Candace and Bernice?

Candace, Bernice and Rose?

Yeah. I fell for one chick and I'm losing
my mind. Good luck with that.

Okay, baby.

I love you.

Thanks, buddy.
Remember to use a condom.

Or in your case, a Hefty bag.

Well...

Okay, you guys. Thanks for coming
to say goodbye.

Be careful.

You make sure your father doesn't
get eaten by a shark.

Thank you, buddy.
What does that mean again?

Bring me back a T-shirt.

Oh, okay. You got it.

Come here. All right. Love you guys.

My shirt size is medium husky.

Hey! Kikikuloa!

No flippies off the dock!
You could get hurt!

No! All right. Let the master
show you how to get it done.

Now you kids go down there
and find my nuts.

Sure you don't want to take Doug?

Hey! What the heck
are you guys doing here?

I spoke to the harbormaster and he
said you were setting sail today...

...so we thought we'd wish
you bon voyage.

This is from Nick and Sue.
They send their best wishes.

That's very nice.
Spam and Reese's. All right.

I love Spam and Reese's.
Can I have it?

I guess.

- Doug!
- That's all right.

- I'm sorry.
- So...

...how's Lucy?

Actually, she's living at the institute.

- When did that happen?
- Three weeks ago.

Said she didn't want to be a burden to
me and Doug anymore. I don't know.

I couldn't talk her out of it.
You know what?

She's doing really great up there.

She's teaching an art class
and she gets to paint every day.

In fact, she's even singing again.

Hey, look, I got a little gift
for you too.

It's just a little something
from one sailor to another one.

You take care of yourself out there.

- I will.
- Okay.

Henry did not tell me about you.

Your fisherman muscles.

Can I touch?

Sure.

Yes.

The Beach Boys?

How nice of him to give me a CD
that will remind me...

...of all the wonderful times
I shared with his daughter.

What an asshole!

Oh, why?

Why would you do this to me?

You sick bastard!

Oh, my God.

Is he trying to tell me something?

She only sings on days
she meets you.

She remembers me?

Holy shit!

She remembers me!

Julia, that looks great.

Excuse me. What am I doing?

You're painting a picture.
And you're doing an excellent job.

Oh.

Holy crap! I suck.

Hey, hey, hey.

- Can we help you, sir?
- Yes. I have an appointment.

- What's your name?
- My name?

Dude, he forgot his name.
I feel bad for him.

Just go on up. And good luck
with that memory problem.

Yeah. Thank you.

What?

Lucy!

Lucy!

- Hi, I'm Tom.
- Hey, I met you before. I'm Henry.

Maybe you can help me.
I'm looking for Lucy Whitmore.

Any idea where I can find her?

Hi, I'm Tom.

Oh. Thanks anyways.

Lucy!

Lucy!

Lucy Whitmore...

...can I ask you a question?

Do you have any idea who I am?

- No.
- No?

That sucks.

- What's your name?
- I'm Henry.

Henry.

I want to show you something.
Will you come with me?

Well, yeah.

Hey. Do you know who that guy is?

Dude, I don't even know who I am.

Oh, well, you're Pablo Picasso.

- Really?
- No. Not really.

This is my studio.

I don't know who you are, Henry...

...but I dream about you
almost every night.

Why?

What would you say if I told you
that notebook you read every day...

...used to have a lot of stuff
about me in it?

I would say that that
makes a lot of sense.

You erased me
from your memories...

...because you thought you were
holding me back from having...

...a full and happy life.

But you made a mistake.

Being with you is the only way
I could have a full and happy life.

You're the girl of my dreams...

...and apparently I'm the man of yours.

Henry.

It's nice to meet you.

Lucy, it's nice to meet you too.

Hi, I'm Tom.

Henry, Lucy. Nice to meet you, Tom.

Now why don't you come back in
ten seconds so we can meet again?

Do you, Honah Lee, take this woman
to be your lawfully wedded wife...

...to have and to hold
from this day forth...

...as long as you both shall live?

- I do.
- Really?

Even though in, like, 10, 15 years...

...she could possibly let herself
go and then, like...

...sex could be, like,
nauseating for you?

What are you, nuts?
Your wife's right over there.

I'm just kidding, Muumuu!

I now pronounce you man and wife.

Mazel tov!

It's very cold, so when you're ready...

...put on a jacket and come have
breakfast with me. Love you.

Hey, hey! Good morning, Mrs. Roth.
Would you like to meet your daughter?

Go say hello to Mommy.

Hi, Mommy.

That's right.

Good morning.

Oh, my goodness!

- Grandpa's here.
- Hi, Dad.