Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:07,640 --> 00:00:10,160
Steven, I'm telling you,
beards are out.
2
00:00:10,240 --> 00:00:12,120
Look at Malibu Barbie.
3
00:00:12,160 --> 00:00:14,320
She can date
anyone she wants.
4
00:00:14,360 --> 00:00:17,280
But she's
with Malibu Ken. Why?
5
00:00:17,360 --> 00:00:21,080
Because Malibu Ken
doesn't have a beard!
6
00:00:21,120 --> 00:00:24,440
Yes, he does.
Malibu Barbie's his beard.
7
00:00:25,880 --> 00:00:28,720
No straight man would wear
shorts that tight.
8
00:00:28,800 --> 00:00:31,760
I don't care.
Just shave it off.
9
00:00:31,840 --> 00:00:34,760
It's like making out
with carpet.
10
00:00:34,840 --> 00:00:38,080
Well, here it is- the beginning
of the end for you two.
11
00:00:38,160 --> 00:00:42,880
Yeah, I remember the part of our relationship
when aIIJackie did was boss me around.
12
00:00:42,960 --> 00:00:47,680
Yeah, that part only lasted-
what, like, six years?
13
00:00:47,760 --> 00:00:49,920
And he's a better man
for it.
14
00:00:50,000 --> 00:00:53,840
So come on, Steven.
Let's shave that beard.
15
00:00:55,840 --> 00:00:58,760
Jackie, you just gave an order
in the form of a cheer.
16
00:01:00,080 --> 00:01:01,920
Oh, where are you going?
17
00:01:02,000 --> 00:01:04,080
Wherever the beard takes me.
18
00:01:05,680 --> 00:01:08,640
Jackie, sweetie, we just got a phone call,
and you're needed at home.
19
00:01:08,720 --> 00:01:11,440
So why don't you grab your coat.
Mr. Forman'll give you a ride home.
20
00:01:11,480 --> 00:01:14,440
- Do you know what's going on?
- No. I don't know anything.
21
00:01:16,400 --> 00:01:18,800
I know everything!
22
00:01:20,080 --> 00:01:22,800
You know how Jackie's father
is a city councilman?
23
00:01:22,840 --> 00:01:26,240
Not anymore. He just got arrested
for bribery. He could go to prison.
24
00:01:26,320 --> 00:01:28,600
Well, I'm glad.
25
00:01:28,640 --> 00:01:33,400
That guy makes Republicans look like
a bunch of crooks and greedy businessmen.
26
00:01:33,440 --> 00:01:37,520
Yeah, well, thank God for the honest ones
like Richard Nixon, huh?
27
00:01:37,600 --> 00:01:39,680
Oh, no.
28
00:01:41,160 --> 00:01:43,200
What did you say?
29
00:01:44,760 --> 00:01:47,160
I- I said that...
30
00:01:47,240 --> 00:01:50,480
Nixon was framed,
and Kennedy was a commie?
31
00:01:50,520 --> 00:01:52,760
That's right.
32
00:02:01,760 --> 00:02:03,640
What's with the gun,
Trigger?
33
00:02:03,680 --> 00:02:07,840
Oh, will you relax, Eric?
It's not a gun. It's a BB gun.
34
00:02:07,920 --> 00:02:12,560
Yeah, I lost it when I was, like, 10, and I found
it this morning buried in my backyard.
35
00:02:12,600 --> 00:02:15,680
Why were you digging
in your backyard?
36
00:02:15,760 --> 00:02:18,400
Uh, dinosaurs.
37
00:02:20,120 --> 00:02:22,160
Watch the news, Donna!
38
00:02:24,560 --> 00:02:27,880
You guys, I can't believe that Mr. Burkhart
might actually be going to prison.
39
00:02:27,960 --> 00:02:31,000
Ah, the tragedy. My father
was sent to prison...
40
00:02:31,080 --> 00:02:33,480
and it led to a life
of drugs and prostitution.
41
00:02:34,840 --> 00:02:38,080
- What?
- Yes. Then his pimp killed him.
42
00:02:38,160 --> 00:02:41,440
But then the medical
examiner found a tiny hair.
43
00:02:41,520 --> 00:02:46,040
And he solved the crime, and he sent
the pimp bastard to the chair.
44
00:02:46,120 --> 00:02:48,880
Fez, that was last night's
episode of Quincy.
45
00:02:50,160 --> 00:02:53,800
Oh, I didn't know
you watched that show.
46
00:02:53,880 --> 00:02:57,280
Yeah, this is rough stuff
Jackie's going through.
47
00:02:57,360 --> 00:03:00,840
She'll come runnin' to me-
Old Faithful.
48
00:03:00,920 --> 00:03:03,400
Kelso, Jackie's
with me now.
49
00:03:03,480 --> 00:03:05,800
Maybe.
But we have history.
50
00:03:05,880 --> 00:03:09,680
So when she needs a shoulder to cry on,
she'll rest her head on these broad babies.
51
00:03:12,000 --> 00:03:13,920
Feel 'em.
52
00:03:14,000 --> 00:03:16,680
Rock hard, amigo.
53
00:03:16,760 --> 00:03:18,920
Man, you don't wantJackie
leaning on your shoulders.
54
00:03:19,000 --> 00:03:21,040
- They're all bruised.
- Where?
55
00:03:21,120 --> 00:03:23,160
(Groans)
56
00:03:23,240 --> 00:03:27,600
Man, I should really
see those coming by now.
57
00:03:27,640 --> 00:03:30,120
Oh! Watch the gun,
Cool Hand Luke.
58
00:03:30,200 --> 00:03:33,960
Will you relax, Eric?
God, guns don't just go off by accident.
59
00:03:36,280 --> 00:03:40,560
Really? Well, what about Eric's
fourth-grade hamster, Snowball?
60
00:03:40,600 --> 00:03:44,280
Oh, no, Snowball wasn't shot. He went
upstate to live with a nice farm family.
61
00:03:47,800 --> 00:03:50,200
You shot Snowball?
62
00:03:50,280 --> 00:03:54,440
Well, the gun went off
by accident!
63
00:03:57,640 --> 00:04:00,400
Oh, sweet pea,
I'm here for you.
64
00:04:00,440 --> 00:04:03,960
Steven, my dad's going to prison.
What am I gonna do?
65
00:04:05,240 --> 00:04:08,040
Um, bake him a cake
with a file in it?
66
00:04:11,280 --> 00:04:13,440
What do you want me to say?
67
00:04:13,520 --> 00:04:17,880
Nothing. Look, I just-
Oh, never mind.
68
00:04:17,960 --> 00:04:20,960
Now we're talking.
Donna, give her a kiss.
69
00:04:24,680 --> 00:04:26,600
(Rock Group Singing)
70
00:04:47,600 --> 00:04:49,400
(Ends)
71
00:04:49,440 --> 00:04:52,280
Hello, Wisconsin!
72
00:04:56,600 --> 00:05:00,200
Jackie blew right by me
to get to Hyde!
73
00:05:00,280 --> 00:05:03,960
Yes, I know.
Because you told me 20 times!
74
00:05:06,320 --> 00:05:08,480
Oh, there's my boss, Nina.
75
00:05:08,560 --> 00:05:10,800
Queen of the D.M. V.
76
00:05:10,880 --> 00:05:12,760
She haunts my dreams.
77
00:05:12,840 --> 00:05:15,960
Wait. I thought Mr. Roper from
Three's Company haunted your dreams.
78
00:05:16,040 --> 00:05:18,000
Oh, he's there too.
79
00:05:18,080 --> 00:05:20,080
Bug-eyed bastard.
80
00:05:20,160 --> 00:05:22,680
Look at how beautiful she is.
81
00:05:22,760 --> 00:05:25,200
You have to help me
win her heart.
82
00:05:25,280 --> 00:05:27,720
What ever happened
toJackie's heart?
83
00:05:27,800 --> 00:05:29,520
At first I thought they
were just killing time.
84
00:05:29,600 --> 00:05:32,480
- But Nina-
- But now I actually think they're getting serious.
85
00:05:32,520 --> 00:05:33,800
- But Nina-
- Jackie and Hyde-
86
00:05:33,880 --> 00:05:36,960
Enough! It's over
for you, pin-brain!
87
00:05:38,840 --> 00:05:40,960
Now, to summarize-
88
00:05:41,000 --> 00:05:43,680
Jackie gone,
Nina still in play.
89
00:05:43,720 --> 00:05:45,840
Now help me do this thing.
90
00:05:45,920 --> 00:05:47,760
Fez.
91
00:05:49,080 --> 00:05:53,120
Nina. My "queen-a."
(Giggles)
92
00:05:54,200 --> 00:05:56,440
I told you I don't like that.
93
00:05:56,520 --> 00:05:59,920
Now you're late for your
fingerprint tutorial, so move it.
94
00:06:01,040 --> 00:06:03,200
Whoo, tough cookie.
95
00:06:03,240 --> 00:06:05,640
Yes, Fez likes
the hardheaded mamas.
96
00:06:05,680 --> 00:06:09,600
Really? I'm starting to
get into the Asian ladies.
97
00:06:09,680 --> 00:06:13,480
I know what you mean.
Mystery of the Orient. Very sexy.
98
00:06:20,160 --> 00:06:21,560
- Hey.
- Hey.
99
00:06:21,640 --> 00:06:24,320
Donna, what are you doing
wearing the engagement ring?
100
00:06:24,360 --> 00:06:28,280
It's supposed to be a secret.
You didn't tell anyone, did you?
101
00:06:28,360 --> 00:06:32,480
Yeah, Eric, I have no self-control,
so I told the pretzel guy at the park.
102
00:06:32,520 --> 00:06:34,240
(Laughs)
Okay.
103
00:06:34,320 --> 00:06:37,280
Seriously, I have no self-control,
and I told the pretzel guy at the park.
104
00:06:37,320 --> 00:06:39,360
- Donna!
- I'm sorry.
105
00:06:39,400 --> 00:06:41,520
I'm excited.
I had to tell someone.
106
00:06:41,600 --> 00:06:44,840
Plus, uh, free pretzel.
107
00:06:46,440 --> 00:06:49,520
What's wrong, Steven?
Problems with Jackie?
108
00:06:49,600 --> 00:06:51,720
Yeah, I said the wrong thing.
109
00:06:51,800 --> 00:06:55,000
Well, I have menopause.
Do you have menopause?
110
00:06:56,160 --> 00:06:58,000
Uh, no.
111
00:06:58,080 --> 00:07:00,680
Lucky bastard.
112
00:07:02,320 --> 00:07:06,080
I'm sorry.
(Laughing) So...
113
00:07:07,160 --> 00:07:09,000
tell me what happened.
114
00:07:09,080 --> 00:07:10,920
(Clears Throat)
Well...
115
00:07:11,000 --> 00:07:14,400
she wanted me to say something to make her
feel better, and I couldn't think of anything.
116
00:07:14,440 --> 00:07:19,040
Well, Steven, you don't know how to comfort
people, because you've never been comforted.
117
00:07:19,080 --> 00:07:23,040
No, that's not true. One time, my dad felt
so bad about missing my Little League game...
118
00:07:23,120 --> 00:07:26,560
that he made up for it
by disappearing for nine years.
119
00:07:26,640 --> 00:07:28,960
Well, after what you've been through...
120
00:07:29,000 --> 00:07:31,040
you don't have to be nice to anybody.
121
00:07:31,080 --> 00:07:33,320
Jackie can just leave you alone.
122
00:07:33,400 --> 00:07:36,640
Now I'm just- I'm gonna
go upstairs and cry a little.
123
00:07:36,680 --> 00:07:38,840
Problems with Jackie, huh?
124
00:07:38,920 --> 00:07:43,560
Hyde, I'd like to remind you that Donna
and I are basically the perfect couple.
125
00:07:45,400 --> 00:07:47,240
We really are.
126
00:07:47,320 --> 00:07:51,000
So we might just have
a little something to teach you...
127
00:07:51,080 --> 00:07:53,120
about relationships.
128
00:07:53,200 --> 00:07:55,240
We really do.
129
00:07:55,320 --> 00:07:57,880
- All you have to do is back off.
- Go to her.
130
00:07:57,960 --> 00:07:59,800
What?
131
00:07:59,880 --> 00:08:01,760
No, he needs to be with her.
132
00:08:01,840 --> 00:08:05,440
No, he needs to give her space.
When your mom left, I gave you space.
133
00:08:05,520 --> 00:08:07,520
I didn't want space.
I wanted you with me.
134
00:08:07,600 --> 00:08:10,200
- You didn't tell me that.
- I couldn't find you!
135
00:08:12,360 --> 00:08:15,040
And they lived
happily ever after.
136
00:08:18,640 --> 00:08:22,360
Fingerprinting is one of the most
important jobs at the D.M.V., Fez.
137
00:08:22,440 --> 00:08:25,560
It helps make our customers
feel like common criminals.
138
00:08:27,520 --> 00:08:30,080
(Giggling)
139
00:08:30,160 --> 00:08:33,280
See? Firm but gentle.
140
00:08:33,320 --> 00:08:36,720
Repeat that:
firm but gentle.
141
00:08:36,800 --> 00:08:40,080
Fir- but ge-ge-
142
00:08:43,400 --> 00:08:47,400
(Sighs)
Your hands are strong.
143
00:08:47,480 --> 00:08:51,000
But your right hand's much stronger
than your left. Why is that?
144
00:08:57,520 --> 00:09:01,840
Um, I am a sword fighter.
145
00:09:01,920 --> 00:09:03,880
You fence?
146
00:09:03,960 --> 00:09:06,120
Touch�.
147
00:09:06,200 --> 00:09:10,920
You know, I'm- I'm sorry if I'm a little
short-tempered with you sometimes.
148
00:09:11,000 --> 00:09:16,560
It's just, well,
when I see you, I just-
149
00:09:20,680 --> 00:09:22,640
No. No, I can't.
150
00:09:22,720 --> 00:09:25,120
But- But I am
all atwitter.
151
00:09:25,200 --> 00:09:29,680
No. No. I'm sorry.
I just can't.
152
00:09:29,760 --> 00:09:32,320
And no one can know about this.
153
00:09:40,960 --> 00:09:43,560
But, Mom, Dad's in trouble.
154
00:09:43,640 --> 00:09:47,400
So I really think you need
to come back from Acapulco now.
155
00:09:47,480 --> 00:09:49,320
Uh-huh.
156
00:09:49,400 --> 00:09:52,440
Wow, that is
a lot of tequila.
157
00:09:54,120 --> 00:09:58,240
Red, Jackie's been moping
in our kitchen for an hour.
158
00:09:58,320 --> 00:10:00,680
So call the cops.
159
00:10:00,760 --> 00:10:03,400
I don't want her arrested.
I want to help her.
160
00:10:03,480 --> 00:10:05,800
She needs a father figure.
Go talk to her.
161
00:10:05,880 --> 00:10:07,000
- No.
- Yes!
162
00:10:07,080 --> 00:10:08,920
- No.
- Red!
163
00:10:09,000 --> 00:10:11,600
Fine. Every damn argument!
164
00:10:11,680 --> 00:10:14,600
You'd think I'd win one,
just by chance.
165
00:10:17,760 --> 00:10:20,160
- Mr. Forman-
- Look, Jackie...
166
00:10:20,240 --> 00:10:24,360
I know that things seem grim,
but your father's rich, right?
167
00:10:24,440 --> 00:10:27,800
- Uh-huh.
- Well, then I'm sure that whatever trouble he's in...
168
00:10:27,880 --> 00:10:30,080
he'll buy his way out
and wriggle free.
169
00:10:31,400 --> 00:10:34,040
You're right.
I mean, this is America.
170
00:10:34,120 --> 00:10:36,120
The rich are treated
differently here.
171
00:10:36,240 --> 00:10:40,840
Yep. And I'm so glad I took
some shrapnel to make that happen.
172
00:10:40,880 --> 00:10:43,280
Me too.
173
00:10:46,480 --> 00:10:48,520
So, Hyde, have you
talked toJackie yet?
174
00:10:48,600 --> 00:10:53,360
'Cause don't- 'Cause you gotta
give her room to breathe, man.
175
00:10:54,960 --> 00:10:57,360
Yeah. And if she ever
falls out of a plane...
176
00:10:57,440 --> 00:10:59,440
just let her fall.
177
00:10:59,520 --> 00:11:02,480
What, he's supposed to
just jump out after her?
178
00:11:02,560 --> 00:11:05,160
Well, at least
they'll be together.
179
00:11:05,200 --> 00:11:07,520
Man, I don't getJackie.
180
00:11:07,600 --> 00:11:09,680
I mean, we were
together for years...
181
00:11:09,760 --> 00:11:13,120
and the second I turn my back,
she off and Frenches Hyde.
182
00:11:13,200 --> 00:11:16,040
And by "turn your back,"
you mean ditching her for two months...
183
00:11:16,120 --> 00:11:18,880
to have sex
with random beach trash?
184
00:11:20,320 --> 00:11:22,800
Whatever, man.
185
00:11:22,880 --> 00:11:26,440
You- It's all- It's all
about words with you!
186
00:11:28,400 --> 00:11:31,960
Kelso, Jackie's my girlfriend.
We're together, so get over it.
187
00:11:32,040 --> 00:11:34,920
- (Stammering) Fine!
- (Gunshot)
188
00:11:44,920 --> 00:11:47,240
Dude, you shot him!
189
00:11:48,880 --> 00:11:51,920
That is exactly
what happened to Snowball!
190
00:11:58,280 --> 00:12:00,880
Oh, my God. I'm so sorry.
I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry.
191
00:12:00,920 --> 00:12:04,640
I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry.
I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry.
192
00:12:06,360 --> 00:12:08,560
Did I shoot your eye?
193
00:12:09,760 --> 00:12:12,720
Yes! Now I can't see,
you moron! You're dead!
194
00:12:12,800 --> 00:12:15,200
- (Eric) I'd start running now.
- Chasing me is futile!
195
00:12:15,280 --> 00:12:17,560
I'll just hide
in your blind spot!
196
00:12:17,640 --> 00:12:20,160
(Groaning)
197
00:12:21,520 --> 00:12:25,680
- Man, are you okay?
- Yeah, I'm fine.
198
00:12:27,960 --> 00:12:30,080
The BB just winged
my shoulder.
199
00:12:30,160 --> 00:12:32,400
But that kid needs
to be taught a lesson.
200
00:12:32,440 --> 00:12:34,640
Hyde, it was an accident.
201
00:12:34,720 --> 00:12:36,600
No, it wasn't.
202
00:12:36,640 --> 00:12:39,120
He's been bitching about me
and Jackie since he found out.
203
00:12:39,160 --> 00:12:42,000
Now he got himself
so out of control that he shot me.
204
00:12:42,040 --> 00:12:44,680
I don't like getting shot!
205
00:12:44,760 --> 00:12:47,760
So now I'm gonna punish him
the way my parents punish me.
206
00:12:47,800 --> 00:12:50,320
You're gonna leave him
at the mall?
207
00:12:53,360 --> 00:12:57,360
No. I'm gonna milk this eye thing
until he feels as bad as he should.
208
00:12:57,400 --> 00:13:01,200
They didn't leave me at the mall.
They forgot me.
209
00:13:01,240 --> 00:13:03,120
They were drunk.
210
00:13:07,560 --> 00:13:09,720
- (Stereo: Rock)
- I am in pain.
211
00:13:11,640 --> 00:13:13,880
Fez, we're really sorry
about Nina.
212
00:13:13,960 --> 00:13:16,000
You know,
rejection hurts.
213
00:13:16,080 --> 00:13:18,800
No, Nina and I were kissing,
and she made me stop...
214
00:13:18,840 --> 00:13:21,360
and now I am in pain.
215
00:13:22,520 --> 00:13:25,000
Ew.
216
00:13:25,080 --> 00:13:27,280
I have to go do something.
217
00:13:32,320 --> 00:13:34,200
(Door Closes)
218
00:13:34,240 --> 00:13:37,600
I think maybe we're all getting a little
too comfortable with each other.
219
00:13:37,680 --> 00:13:41,760
Well, maybe we wouldn't be so comfortable
if we just gave each other some space.
220
00:13:47,640 --> 00:13:51,600
- Don't make me hit you.
- Well, good luck reaching me
through all the space.
221
00:13:55,120 --> 00:13:57,360
Hey, guys. Is Hyde here?
222
00:13:58,520 --> 00:14:00,360
Hyde?
223
00:14:09,400 --> 00:14:12,240
Hey, Hyde. I brought you this.
224
00:14:13,240 --> 00:14:15,160
What is it? I can't see.
225
00:14:18,520 --> 00:14:22,200
Well, it's most of a burger.
226
00:14:22,280 --> 00:14:26,800
I took a bite, 'cause I'm sorry,
but I'm also hungry.
227
00:14:26,840 --> 00:14:31,640
Yeah, well, it's almost 2:00.
I gotta go flush out my eye.
228
00:14:35,360 --> 00:14:39,280
You guys, how bad is it?
Is Hyde gonna be a cyclops?
229
00:14:41,000 --> 00:14:45,640
Kelso, what were you thinking?
I mean, did you shoot him on purpose?
230
00:14:45,720 --> 00:14:48,280
No! The gun went off
on accident!
231
00:14:49,360 --> 00:14:51,440
Well, he kinda thinks
you did.
232
00:14:51,480 --> 00:14:54,360
How could I?
I mean, yeah, I was mad.
233
00:14:54,440 --> 00:14:56,840
But I didn't-
I don't know.
234
00:14:56,920 --> 00:15:00,720
Maybe I did it
accidentally on purpose.
235
00:15:00,800 --> 00:15:04,960
- You mean subconsciously?
- No, I was definitely awake the whole time.
236
00:15:09,320 --> 00:15:11,560
Steven, I'm glad
your eye's not hurt.
237
00:15:11,640 --> 00:15:15,600
Even though you deserve it
because you were such a jerk about my dad.
238
00:15:15,640 --> 00:15:19,360
Man, look, Jackie-
(Sighs)
239
00:15:19,440 --> 00:15:22,960
I'm never gonna be the guy who says
the right thing at the right time.
240
00:15:23,040 --> 00:15:24,880
Okay? I'm just not.
241
00:15:24,960 --> 00:15:29,040
You are so full of it. All I'm asking for
is a gesture, and you can't even do that.
242
00:15:29,080 --> 00:15:32,000
(Clears Throat)
Okay, I got something.
243
00:15:33,280 --> 00:15:35,720
Get your dad
a carton of cigarettes...
244
00:15:35,800 --> 00:15:38,560
so he can trade 'em for
not being someone's wife.
245
00:15:40,240 --> 00:15:43,480
- Oh, just forget it.
- No. No.
246
00:15:43,560 --> 00:15:45,400
Jackie, that's funny.
247
00:15:45,480 --> 00:15:49,880
Look, when my dad went to prison, that's what
someone told me to make me feel better.
248
00:15:49,960 --> 00:15:52,520
It was my mom!
We had a real good laugh!
249
00:15:57,320 --> 00:16:00,680
Mr. and Mrs. Forman,
can you settle this for us?
250
00:16:00,760 --> 00:16:02,960
If someone you love
is kinda depressed...
251
00:16:03,040 --> 00:16:05,600
should you shower them
with kindness or give them space?
252
00:16:05,680 --> 00:16:08,560
Well, now, that's
a very good question.
253
00:16:10,440 --> 00:16:14,360
And it really takes a lot of living
with someone to get it right.
254
00:16:14,440 --> 00:16:17,920
- That's true.
- But you'll find the thing to do is-
255
00:16:18,000 --> 00:16:19,960
- Give them space.
- shower them.
256
00:16:23,320 --> 00:16:25,720
What did you say?
257
00:16:25,800 --> 00:16:28,080
I said what you said.
258
00:16:29,120 --> 00:16:31,400
You're lying.
259
00:16:31,480 --> 00:16:33,320
Oh, come on, Kitty!
260
00:16:33,400 --> 00:16:36,280
When menopause
makes you crazy...
261
00:16:36,360 --> 00:16:39,640
I could be with you all day
and it wouldn't do any good.
262
00:16:39,720 --> 00:16:42,840
You need space.
263
00:16:44,320 --> 00:16:48,160
Oh. Menopause
makes me crazy?
264
00:16:49,720 --> 00:16:51,800
I'm crazy?
265
00:16:51,880 --> 00:16:54,640
I'm crazy?
266
00:16:54,720 --> 00:16:58,080
Well, if you want space,
Red Forman, you got it!
267
00:16:58,160 --> 00:17:02,480
This crazy lady's
out the crazy door!
268
00:17:12,320 --> 00:17:15,000
We were having a nice lunch.
269
00:17:18,080 --> 00:17:21,200
(Clattering)
270
00:17:22,800 --> 00:17:26,600
Okay, Hyde, I feel really bad,
and I shouldn't have shot you.
271
00:17:26,680 --> 00:17:29,360
And I think that I might've
done it on purpose...
272
00:17:29,440 --> 00:17:32,080
'cause I'm not okay with you and Jackie...
273
00:17:32,120 --> 00:17:34,320
and I don't know if I ever will be.
274
00:17:34,360 --> 00:17:38,640
But I'm almost positive that
I'll never, ever shoot you again.
275
00:17:38,720 --> 00:17:41,560
But the only way to be sure
is for you to shoot me.
276
00:17:41,640 --> 00:17:44,680
I've always responded really
well to corporal punishment.
277
00:17:44,760 --> 00:17:48,480
So, here.
278
00:17:50,280 --> 00:17:52,680
Do it. Shoot me.
279
00:17:53,920 --> 00:17:56,160
This is like Old Yeller.
280
00:17:56,240 --> 00:17:59,800
Come on, man.
Just do it. Right here.
281
00:17:59,880 --> 00:18:01,840
It's the only way.
282
00:18:01,920 --> 00:18:04,520
Okay.
283
00:18:04,600 --> 00:18:06,680
- You lied!
- (Gunshot)
284
00:18:06,760 --> 00:18:09,800
(Groans)
You're dead, man!
285
00:18:14,800 --> 00:18:17,480
So, how's stuff
with your dad?
286
00:18:17,560 --> 00:18:21,400
Well, my mom's flying home from
the Fiesta de las Margaritas...
287
00:18:21,480 --> 00:18:23,840
so I guess it's pretty serious.
288
00:18:23,920 --> 00:18:25,920
Wow, that is serious.
289
00:18:26,000 --> 00:18:27,880
Playboy voted
Fiesta de las Margaritas...
290
00:18:27,960 --> 00:18:30,080
Latin America's
number one singles party.
291
00:18:31,200 --> 00:18:33,040
But I-
(Clears Throat)
292
00:18:33,120 --> 00:18:35,640
I'm sure she's just there
for the margaritas.
293
00:18:35,720 --> 00:18:39,280
Oh, my God, you guys,
my whole world is just falling apart.
294
00:18:39,360 --> 00:18:41,200
Oh.
295
00:18:43,720 --> 00:18:45,840
Hey.
296
00:18:47,200 --> 00:18:50,680
Steven!
You shaved your beard off!
297
00:18:50,760 --> 00:18:53,040
- I thought it might cheer you up.
- Oh, my God.
298
00:18:53,080 --> 00:18:55,240
You shaved it off for me.
299
00:18:55,320 --> 00:18:59,000
You let the razor say the words
your mouth couldn't speak.
300
00:19:01,040 --> 00:19:03,720
- (Together) Aww.
- Shut up!
301
00:19:05,360 --> 00:19:07,360
(Squeals)
302
00:19:07,440 --> 00:19:11,280
So I guess the answer to the problem
wasn't more or less space.
303
00:19:11,360 --> 00:19:13,480
It was more or less hair.
304
00:19:13,560 --> 00:19:15,640
And that's bizarre.
305
00:19:15,720 --> 00:19:19,320
Okay, I've been thinking about it-
about the space thing, and I got it.
306
00:19:19,400 --> 00:19:23,600
You'll talk about stuff,
and I'll just leave.
307
00:19:24,760 --> 00:19:26,640
And I'll follow you.
308
00:19:26,680 --> 00:19:29,360
Because I'm strong enough
to take you down and make you listen.
309
00:19:29,400 --> 00:19:34,160
And I will let you lie on me
and pretend that it bothers me.
310
00:19:37,200 --> 00:19:40,400
Guys, something horrible
has happened.
311
00:19:40,440 --> 00:19:44,120
The little man in my pants
has turned black.
312
00:19:48,760 --> 00:19:50,640
It's not funny!
313
00:19:52,080 --> 00:19:54,760
Black is the color of death!
314
00:19:56,760 --> 00:20:00,480
Oh, my little man is going to die
before he gets to see the world.
315
00:20:04,600 --> 00:20:06,720
I'm so sorry.
316
00:20:10,040 --> 00:20:12,480
How could this happen?
317
00:20:13,720 --> 00:20:15,600
How?
318
00:20:21,120 --> 00:20:26,160
Okay, I washed. But the ink
isn't coming off my little man. Help.
319
00:20:26,240 --> 00:20:28,880
You should try bleach.
320
00:20:30,560 --> 00:20:34,440
- Ooh. Or Comet.
- Yeah. Or steel wool.
321
00:20:34,520 --> 00:20:36,440
Hey, and if all else fails...
322
00:20:36,520 --> 00:20:39,600
the one thing that
gets out ink is more ink.
323
00:20:39,640 --> 00:20:43,440
That's right, Hyde. Whatever you
do, use the steel wool first.
324
00:20:43,480 --> 00:20:46,080
Really scrub
so the soap gets in there.
325
00:20:46,160 --> 00:20:49,800
Remember, if it doesn't sting,
it's not working.
25545
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.