Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:00,162 --> 00:00:02,023
Okay, we're gonna sneak up
on this castle,
2
00:00:02,070 --> 00:00:03,851
so don't attack this ogre.
3
00:00:03,898 --> 00:00:05,929
Man, I accidentally
shrunk myself
4
00:00:05,976 --> 00:00:07,007
with the orb of shrinking.
5
00:00:07,074 --> 00:00:09,795
I wish we could stop
playing this game. I'm sucking!
6
00:00:09,897 --> 00:00:12,553
Well, "Badass 2" comes out
in 36 hours,
7
00:00:12,607 --> 00:00:13,982
and that is gonna be...
8
00:00:14,036 --> 00:00:15,091
Badass!
9
00:00:15,169 --> 00:00:16,146
2!
10
00:00:16,693 --> 00:00:17,918
I'm sorry. I thought
we were doing the whole name.
11
00:00:17,985 --> 00:00:19,019
You guys got everything you need
to camp out
12
00:00:19,086 --> 00:00:20,417
in line tomorrow night?
13
00:00:20,495 --> 00:00:22,706
Beer, me... yep, I'm good.
14
00:00:22,753 --> 00:00:24,018
Dibs on the health pack.
15
00:00:24,065 --> 00:00:25,636
Rock, paper, scissors, go!
16
00:00:25,753 --> 00:00:27,494
Paper. You?
Paper. Go again.
17
00:00:27,658 --> 00:00:29,363
You guys can't see each other.
Why don't you just lie?
18
00:00:29,429 --> 00:00:31,932
Because that
would be wrong, Will.
19
00:00:33,000 --> 00:00:34,101
But actually,
20
00:00:34,170 --> 00:00:36,568
looking at my hand again,
I realize that I have scissors.
21
00:00:36,631 --> 00:00:38,427
Yeah, and I realize
I have rock.
22
00:00:38,489 --> 00:00:40,294
My mistake.
I have paper.
23
00:00:40,442 --> 00:00:41,825
That's so weird.
I have scissors.
24
00:00:41,927 --> 00:00:43,599
And I have rock.
Paper.
25
00:00:43,646 --> 00:00:44,942
Scissors.
All right!
26
00:00:44,997 --> 00:00:46,717
Now I see why lying
doesn't work.
27
00:00:46,834 --> 00:00:49,189
Sync and corrected by APOLLO
www.addic7ed.com
28
00:00:49,287 --> 00:00:52,019
all right, stove... check,
sleeping bag... check,
29
00:00:52,085 --> 00:00:55,189
white noise machine... check.
What am I missing?
30
00:00:55,255 --> 00:00:57,024
The irony that you're an adult
camping out in a parking lot
31
00:00:57,090 --> 00:00:58,726
to buy a children's game?
32
00:00:58,875 --> 00:01:02,273
It seems I have
two white noise machines.
33
00:01:02,343 --> 00:01:04,097
Which one shall I leave behind?
34
00:01:04,164 --> 00:01:05,265
I'll be back in 20 minutes.
I'm just gonna run to price best
35
00:01:05,332 --> 00:01:07,000
to get the apple juice
for the soccer team tomorrow.
36
00:01:07,067 --> 00:01:08,969
I told you,
I'll get the apple juice.
37
00:01:09,036 --> 00:01:11,238
I'm gonna be at price best
for the next 12 hours.
38
00:01:11,305 --> 00:01:12,272
I just wanna make sure
it's the right kind.
39
00:01:12,339 --> 00:01:13,340
The soccer moms
are still mad at me
40
00:01:13,407 --> 00:01:15,275
about the trail mix incident.
41
00:01:15,342 --> 00:01:17,010
Each kid was allergic
to a different thing
42
00:01:17,077 --> 00:01:19,146
in that giant bag of death
you brought home.
43
00:01:21,381 --> 00:01:23,217
Nathan, Scott's mom is here!
44
00:01:23,283 --> 00:01:25,385
Theresa, I know what
apple juice to get.
45
00:01:25,452 --> 00:01:27,988
6-ounce, glass bottles,
no sugar.
46
00:01:28,055 --> 00:01:29,089
And organic.
47
00:01:29,156 --> 00:01:31,791
Well, of course organic.
What am I, a monster?
48
00:01:31,838 --> 00:01:33,193
I'm not sure I deserve
this sleepover
49
00:01:33,260 --> 00:01:36,063
since I only got a "b"
on the history test.
50
00:01:36,129 --> 00:01:39,339
So you got your first "b."
It's okay.
51
00:01:39,425 --> 00:01:41,448
Don't be so hard on yourself.
Go have fun.
52
00:01:41,800 --> 00:01:43,403
I hope nobody asks
about the Louisiana purchase,
53
00:01:43,470 --> 00:01:46,139
or I'll just make a jackass
out of myself again.
54
00:01:46,206 --> 00:01:48,041
Hey, Nathan, how's it going?
Hey, buddy.
55
00:01:48,108 --> 00:01:49,276
I got a "b" on my history test.
56
00:01:49,343 --> 00:01:51,111
Good for you.
Showboat.
57
00:01:51,178 --> 00:01:52,379
He takes everything
so seriously.
58
00:01:52,446 --> 00:01:54,685
He just wants to do a good job,
59
00:01:54,841 --> 00:01:56,049
unlike these two,
60
00:01:56,116 --> 00:01:58,051
one of whom forgot
to wear shoes.
61
00:01:58,118 --> 00:01:59,664
When?
62
00:02:00,258 --> 00:02:01,355
Now.
63
00:02:01,421 --> 00:02:04,562
Right. We gotta stop
and get my shoes.
64
00:02:06,426 --> 00:02:08,929
Gentlemen, thank you
for this invitation.
65
00:02:08,996 --> 00:02:09,997
I can already feel
the trivialities of modern life
66
00:02:10,063 --> 00:02:12,366
fading quietly away.
67
00:02:12,432 --> 00:02:15,002
Son of a...!
68
00:02:15,068 --> 00:02:18,172
Some butt-cozy just outbid me
on a 12-inch C-3PO.
69
00:02:18,238 --> 00:02:19,339
For the past three weeks,
70
00:02:19,406 --> 00:02:21,108
the same person
has been outbidding me
71
00:02:21,175 --> 00:02:24,011
on every action figure
I've tried to get.
72
00:02:26,079 --> 00:02:27,948
Come on! They did it again!
73
00:02:28,615 --> 00:02:30,950
Just keeps getting harder
and harder to be a nerd.
74
00:02:31,017 --> 00:02:34,788
I think I know the person
who's doing this,
75
00:02:34,854 --> 00:02:37,624
and I think you know
who it is, too.
76
00:02:37,690 --> 00:02:39,859
It's... Yoo.
77
00:02:39,926 --> 00:02:42,562
Yoo Chang.
78
00:02:42,629 --> 00:02:44,964
The waiter
from the chinese restaurant,
79
00:02:45,031 --> 00:02:46,533
who I wrongly accused
80
00:02:46,599 --> 00:02:47,767
of picking all the chicken
out of my Chow Mein.
81
00:02:47,834 --> 00:02:48,968
It's gotta be him.
82
00:02:49,035 --> 00:02:50,196
I'll bet you're right.
83
00:02:50,219 --> 00:02:51,771
It's the only logical
explanation.
84
00:02:51,838 --> 00:02:54,541
Come on, Kenny. Let it go.
We should head out.
85
00:02:54,607 --> 00:02:55,608
And?
86
00:02:55,675 --> 00:02:58,878
And organic apple juice.
I will not forget.
87
00:02:58,945 --> 00:02:59,913
You guys,
88
00:02:59,979 --> 00:03:01,581
I cannot forget
that apple juice.
89
00:03:01,648 --> 00:03:02,982
This will be a special night,
my friends.
90
00:03:03,049 --> 00:03:06,619
There's nothing like being
out in the clean fresh air of...
91
00:03:06,686 --> 00:03:08,788
The price best parking lot?
92
00:03:08,855 --> 00:03:10,906
You said we were going
after big game.
93
00:03:11,039 --> 00:03:12,938
No, I said a big game
is being released.
94
00:03:13,593 --> 00:03:15,303
I bought a crossbow.
95
00:03:15,405 --> 00:03:17,173
Listen up, nerds.
96
00:03:17,764 --> 00:03:19,732
You will have your hand stamped.
97
00:03:19,799 --> 00:03:21,701
You will need a hand stamp
98
00:03:21,768 --> 00:03:24,637
to get this sad, pathetic
video game.
99
00:03:24,704 --> 00:03:26,739
Once your hand is stamped,
100
00:03:26,806 --> 00:03:27,874
you will not be allowed
in the store
101
00:03:27,941 --> 00:03:29,809
until this
colossal waste of time
102
00:03:29,876 --> 00:03:31,978
goes on sale tomorrow morning.
103
00:03:32,045 --> 00:03:34,614
This is to prevent you from
hiding in the store all night
104
00:03:34,681 --> 00:03:36,716
and cutting in line.
105
00:03:36,783 --> 00:03:38,618
Thank you for your attention.
106
00:03:39,786 --> 00:03:43,590
On a personal note,
you all sicken me.
107
00:03:45,692 --> 00:03:47,660
He seems stern but fair.
108
00:03:47,727 --> 00:03:49,529
I bet he's good with horses.
109
00:03:49,596 --> 00:03:50,830
Okay, first things first.
110
00:03:50,897 --> 00:03:52,565
I'm gonna run inside
and get the apple juice
111
00:03:52,632 --> 00:03:54,834
before they start
stamping hands.
112
00:03:54,901 --> 00:03:57,041
I'm gonna find
a primo spot in line.
113
00:03:58,556 --> 00:04:00,416
Craig, adventure calls.
114
00:04:00,974 --> 00:04:02,575
I shall bid you farewell
and spend the night
115
00:04:02,642 --> 00:04:04,471
walking towards
that distant star...
116
00:04:05,612 --> 00:04:07,361
Which might be a plane...
117
00:04:08,111 --> 00:04:09,983
In which case
I'll pick a new thing.
118
00:04:10,049 --> 00:04:12,852
But this is
gonna be so awesome.
119
00:04:12,919 --> 00:04:14,687
I mean, look how into this
everybody is.
120
00:04:14,754 --> 00:04:16,956
I just don't get why someone
would want to lose themselves
121
00:04:17,023 --> 00:04:18,792
in a fantasy world when
every moment of real life
122
00:04:18,858 --> 00:04:19,993
is so wonderful.
123
00:04:20,059 --> 00:04:22,762
Well, sometimes it's fun to
just try on being someone else.
124
00:04:25,020 --> 00:04:27,189
I told you! It's badass.
125
00:04:36,009 --> 00:04:37,944
He was too scared
to come over here.
126
00:04:39,235 --> 00:04:41,915
Some things in life are scary,
but remember,
127
00:04:41,981 --> 00:04:43,817
courage is not the lack of fear.
128
00:04:43,883 --> 00:04:46,653
It's taking action
despite that fear.
129
00:04:49,022 --> 00:04:51,024
I read that on a snapple cap.
130
00:04:54,446 --> 00:04:56,629
Help me move that plant
into this ceramic pot.
131
00:04:56,696 --> 00:04:58,665
We're having a party
for Lucy's soccer team tomorrow,
132
00:04:58,731 --> 00:05:00,700
and there's gonna be
15 judgmental bitches here
133
00:05:00,767 --> 00:05:02,480
criticizing every inch
of my home.
134
00:05:02,613 --> 00:05:04,604
Easy. They're just children.
135
00:05:04,671 --> 00:05:08,775
Watch this. Somewhere,
Kenny is about to scream.
136
00:05:08,842 --> 00:05:10,710
Come on, Brenda.
Give my brother a break.
137
00:05:10,777 --> 00:05:12,879
I am teaching him
responsibility.
138
00:05:12,946 --> 00:05:15,982
A full-grown man
should not be spending $280
139
00:05:16,049 --> 00:05:18,585
for a doll of a robot.
140
00:05:18,651 --> 00:05:19,986
When you call him
a "cave troll" to his face
141
00:05:20,053 --> 00:05:21,855
and he calls you
a "swamp donkey,"
142
00:05:21,921 --> 00:05:23,523
it seems fair.
143
00:05:23,590 --> 00:05:24,958
But anonymously attacking him
through the Internet
144
00:05:25,024 --> 00:05:26,526
just seems cruel.
145
00:05:26,593 --> 00:05:29,729
Theresa, I'm not cruel.
146
00:05:29,796 --> 00:05:30,864
Man!
147
00:05:30,930 --> 00:05:32,732
This thing's heavier
than Kenny.
148
00:05:32,799 --> 00:05:34,667
Thank God it's not
on top of me, sweating.
149
00:05:34,734 --> 00:05:36,603
See? What is that?
He's not even here.
150
00:05:36,669 --> 00:05:37,871
Well, then tell him I said it.
151
00:05:37,937 --> 00:05:39,739
You really should ease up,
Brenda.
152
00:05:39,806 --> 00:05:40,774
And you really should stop
153
00:05:40,840 --> 00:05:42,642
telling people what to do,
Theresa.
154
00:05:42,709 --> 00:05:44,711
Well, some people need to be
told what to do.
155
00:05:44,778 --> 00:05:46,613
Jeez, if I wanted
to be tipsy and yelled at,
156
00:05:46,679 --> 00:05:48,581
I'd go to my parents' house.
157
00:05:48,648 --> 00:05:50,650
Well, fine. Then go.
158
00:05:51,718 --> 00:05:54,587
Fine. I will...
159
00:05:54,654 --> 00:05:56,589
Soon as I get my hands
out of this pot.
160
00:05:56,656 --> 00:05:58,858
Take your hands out
so I can get mine out.
161
00:06:01,861 --> 00:06:03,730
I can't. I'm stuck, too.
162
00:06:06,866 --> 00:06:08,535
Hi. My name is Kelly.
163
00:06:08,601 --> 00:06:09,536
Dibs.
164
00:06:09,602 --> 00:06:10,837
Rock, paper, scissors. Go!
165
00:06:10,904 --> 00:06:11,938
Damn.
166
00:06:12,005 --> 00:06:13,640
Rock, paper, scissors, go.
167
00:06:13,706 --> 00:06:14,941
- I have scissors.
- I have rock.
168
00:06:15,008 --> 00:06:16,743
And I have paper.
I have scissors.
169
00:06:16,810 --> 00:06:18,978
And I have rock.
Don't I get a say in who wins me?
170
00:06:19,045 --> 00:06:21,781
That's a great idea.
You choose.
171
00:06:23,883 --> 00:06:25,819
Thump each other's junk.
172
00:06:25,885 --> 00:06:27,921
I'm sorry. Thump...
173
00:06:27,987 --> 00:06:31,658
He wins.
Yes! Ha! In your face!
174
00:06:31,724 --> 00:06:32,959
I win!
175
00:06:33,026 --> 00:06:36,629
No, totally unfair. That was
a very confusing request!
176
00:06:36,696 --> 00:06:38,731
The rules were not made clear.
If she had said,
177
00:06:38,798 --> 00:06:40,834
"we're going to have a race,"
and here's the goal,
178
00:06:40,900 --> 00:06:42,735
I would have gotten ready
to thump your junk.
179
00:06:42,802 --> 00:06:44,904
I would have been laser-focused
on your junk.
180
00:06:46,773 --> 00:06:47,941
- Whatever, dude.
- The hot girl is mine.
181
00:06:48,007 --> 00:06:49,809
So you think I'm supposed
to go with her, or...
182
00:06:49,876 --> 00:06:52,946
Who knows? Apparently we're
just embracing anarchy now.
183
00:06:53,012 --> 00:06:55,748
Freak shows and outcasts,
184
00:06:55,815 --> 00:06:58,818
you will now receive a stamp.
Do not lick it.
185
00:06:58,885 --> 00:07:01,955
It is purple, but it is not
flavored like grape.
186
00:07:05,592 --> 00:07:06,926
That's Will! Aah!
187
00:07:06,993 --> 00:07:10,530
Will! We are trapped
in a pot!
188
00:07:10,597 --> 00:07:13,633
Yeah, 'cause that's
definitely how phones work.
189
00:07:14,901 --> 00:07:18,571
Hey, I just wanted to let you
know that I got the apple juice,
190
00:07:18,638 --> 00:07:21,541
and, yes, it's organic.
191
00:07:21,608 --> 00:07:23,610
No pesticide has soiled
the precious fruit
192
00:07:23,676 --> 00:07:26,613
from which this nectar
has been extracted.
193
00:07:26,679 --> 00:07:30,717
So next time, I hope you won't
question my ability to... crap!
194
00:07:30,784 --> 00:07:32,786
No, hey!
That's my apple juice.
195
00:07:32,852 --> 00:07:33,853
Dude, this place
is like Woodstock.
196
00:07:33,920 --> 00:07:36,790
Everyone shares. Would you
like some cotton candy?
197
00:07:36,856 --> 00:07:40,560
Virgins and basement dwellers,
198
00:07:40,627 --> 00:07:42,562
once you have received
your hand stamp,
199
00:07:42,629 --> 00:07:44,697
you will not be allowed
into the store
200
00:07:44,764 --> 00:07:46,866
under any circumstances.
201
00:07:48,835 --> 00:07:51,771
Crap.
202
00:07:58,278 --> 00:08:00,046
So after the war was over,
203
00:08:00,113 --> 00:08:02,215
badass dedicated himself
to ridding the jungles
204
00:08:02,282 --> 00:08:03,249
of drug cartels?
205
00:08:03,316 --> 00:08:05,151
And finding out
who killed his dog.
206
00:08:05,218 --> 00:08:07,954
Right. Homer.
207
00:08:08,021 --> 00:08:09,856
He loved that trusty mutt.
208
00:08:09,923 --> 00:08:12,826
Attention,
unloved bog creatures,
209
00:08:12,892 --> 00:08:14,828
you will now receive a stamp.
210
00:08:14,894 --> 00:08:17,197
Hey! I don't like the way
you talk to these people.
211
00:08:17,263 --> 00:08:20,033
Each one of these fat,
little nerds is a human being.
212
00:08:20,099 --> 00:08:21,201
Well, you could have fooled me.
213
00:08:24,070 --> 00:08:26,940
Y-you defended us,
just like badass would have.
214
00:08:28,007 --> 00:08:29,275
Here.
215
00:08:32,879 --> 00:08:33,980
Yes.
216
00:08:34,047 --> 00:08:35,849
This feels right.
217
00:08:38,985 --> 00:08:40,253
Hey, Will.
218
00:08:40,320 --> 00:08:43,022
If you and Kenny were
interviewing for the same job,
219
00:08:43,089 --> 00:08:44,157
and out of the blue,
the interviewer said,
220
00:08:44,224 --> 00:08:46,960
"thump his junk," would you
think that was a race?
221
00:08:47,026 --> 00:08:48,061
No, I'd think I don't
want to work for a company
222
00:08:48,128 --> 00:08:50,029
that interviews people
like that.
223
00:08:50,096 --> 00:08:52,031
Hey, did you get
your hand stamped yet?
224
00:08:52,098 --> 00:08:54,200
Yes, I did.
Damn it!
225
00:08:54,267 --> 00:08:55,969
I told Theresa I was
gonna get that juice,
226
00:08:56,035 --> 00:08:58,104
and now that jackass won't
let me back in the store.
227
00:08:58,171 --> 00:09:00,206
It's 11:00.
Nothing else is open,
228
00:09:00,273 --> 00:09:02,075
and she's gonna kill me.
229
00:09:02,142 --> 00:09:03,143
Well, at least you knew
the rules
230
00:09:03,209 --> 00:09:04,878
with what you were doing.
231
00:09:04,944 --> 00:09:06,146
My night has been
absolute chaos.
232
00:09:06,212 --> 00:09:07,847
I've had my genitals thumped,
233
00:09:07,914 --> 00:09:09,048
I did not care
for that organic apple juice,
234
00:09:09,115 --> 00:09:12,218
and some guy in a garbage bag
threw a hot dog at me.
235
00:09:12,285 --> 00:09:14,954
That's Nathan.
No, this guy was in his 70s.
236
00:09:15,021 --> 00:09:16,856
No, over there.
That's Nathan.
237
00:09:18,124 --> 00:09:21,795
He said he was spending
the night at a friend's.
238
00:09:21,861 --> 00:09:23,797
He's never lied to me before.
239
00:09:23,863 --> 00:09:27,000
Hey, remember that time
my dad saw us at the quarry,
240
00:09:27,066 --> 00:09:28,768
and he had his buddies
dressed up as cops
241
00:09:28,835 --> 00:09:30,236
and scared the hell out of us?
242
00:09:30,303 --> 00:09:32,105
We should do that.
243
00:09:32,172 --> 00:09:33,840
We don't have to do the part
where they made us
244
00:09:33,907 --> 00:09:34,874
dig our own graves.
245
00:09:34,941 --> 00:09:36,042
Good idea.
246
00:09:36,109 --> 00:09:38,778
Scare 'em straight.
247
00:09:38,845 --> 00:09:40,113
By the way, I still feel bad
that I begged them
248
00:09:40,180 --> 00:09:41,214
to kill you first.
249
00:09:41,281 --> 00:09:43,850
Water under the bridge, buddy.
250
00:09:43,917 --> 00:09:45,185
Here.
251
00:09:47,854 --> 00:09:48,855
Hello.
252
00:09:48,922 --> 00:09:50,857
I'm the gentleman
253
00:09:50,924 --> 00:09:53,026
who thumped
another gentleman's junk
254
00:09:53,092 --> 00:09:54,961
with lightning speed,
I might add.
255
00:09:55,028 --> 00:09:57,163
And I'd like to claim my prize.
256
00:09:57,230 --> 00:09:59,098
There is no prize.
257
00:09:59,165 --> 00:10:01,768
But I went knuckles-deep
in my friend's squishy bits.
258
00:10:01,835 --> 00:10:04,938
I'm sorry.
Did that feel degrading?
259
00:10:05,004 --> 00:10:07,006
Like when two people play
rock, paper, scissors
260
00:10:07,073 --> 00:10:08,108
for another human being?
261
00:10:10,110 --> 00:10:11,144
I don't have time for this.
262
00:10:11,211 --> 00:10:12,812
I've gotta get enough
of your geek brethren
263
00:10:12,879 --> 00:10:14,781
to buy this energy drink
so I can make rent.
264
00:10:14,848 --> 00:10:18,017
Wait. Wait. I'm sorry.
Let me make it up to you.
265
00:10:18,084 --> 00:10:20,954
I'm a salesman.
I can help you sell this stuff.
266
00:10:21,020 --> 00:10:22,155
I doubt it.
267
00:10:22,222 --> 00:10:24,190
It tastes like something that
leaked out of an elephant.
268
00:10:24,257 --> 00:10:25,992
Doesn't matter.
It's not about the product.
269
00:10:26,059 --> 00:10:28,161
It's about making the customer
think they need the product.
270
00:10:28,228 --> 00:10:30,130
Like right now I'm making you
think you need me.
271
00:10:30,196 --> 00:10:33,099
It's a bad example,
because you do need me.
272
00:10:33,166 --> 00:10:34,901
Or do you?
273
00:10:34,968 --> 00:10:37,270
The answer is...
You do.
274
00:10:38,838 --> 00:10:40,140
Or do you?
275
00:10:40,206 --> 00:10:42,776
Hello!
276
00:10:42,842 --> 00:10:43,910
Talk about a brain blast.
277
00:10:43,977 --> 00:10:46,045
What?
278
00:10:53,019 --> 00:10:56,956
Will you stop sighing
every 15 seconds, please?
279
00:10:57,023 --> 00:10:58,858
Please stop
sighing every 15 seconds.
280
00:10:58,925 --> 00:10:59,993
You are a third grader.
281
00:11:00,059 --> 00:11:01,194
I am not a third grader.
282
00:11:01,261 --> 00:11:02,829
Well, you tease my brother
like one.
283
00:11:02,896 --> 00:11:04,197
You also sometimes say
"liberry"
284
00:11:04,264 --> 00:11:06,065
and "glove department."
285
00:11:06,132 --> 00:11:08,067
It is the department where
your gloves would be found.
286
00:11:08,134 --> 00:11:11,037
My God! I have gotta
get away from you.
287
00:11:11,104 --> 00:11:13,072
Wait. What about Lucy?
288
00:11:13,139 --> 00:11:15,208
She's at a sleepover.
289
00:11:15,275 --> 00:11:19,212
Okay, try and get my cell phone
out of my pocket.
290
00:11:19,279 --> 00:11:21,948
Easy with the teeth!
291
00:11:22,015 --> 00:11:23,850
You and Kenny
really are related.
292
00:11:25,218 --> 00:11:27,187
So I want all of you
to believe in yourselves,
293
00:11:27,253 --> 00:11:30,857
even if your parents have
pretty much given up on you.
294
00:11:32,992 --> 00:11:35,862
Here, sir. I made this shotgun
out of a mop.
295
00:11:43,837 --> 00:11:45,939
Hey, grant.
296
00:11:46,005 --> 00:11:48,074
Nathan's here,
and I wanna teach him a lesson.
297
00:11:48,141 --> 00:11:50,043
We need disguises.
298
00:11:50,110 --> 00:11:51,945
Much like
my video game persona,
299
00:11:52,011 --> 00:11:53,213
I believe in teaching
moral lessons
300
00:11:53,279 --> 00:11:55,048
to the youth of America.
301
00:11:56,149 --> 00:11:59,285
You two...
Give them your clothes.
302
00:12:05,125 --> 00:12:07,227
So we draw Nathan
into a conversation.
303
00:12:07,293 --> 00:12:10,130
We get him to admit
that he lied to his parents,
304
00:12:10,196 --> 00:12:11,197
and then we scare
the pants off him
305
00:12:11,264 --> 00:12:12,866
to make sure
he never does it again.
306
00:12:12,932 --> 00:12:15,101
Yeah, and then we tell 'em
to dig their own graves.
307
00:12:15,168 --> 00:12:16,836
We're not doing that,
308
00:12:16,903 --> 00:12:18,772
all right, but that is
the part we still talk about.
309
00:12:19,973 --> 00:12:22,776
What have we got here?
310
00:12:22,842 --> 00:12:24,911
Couple of laddies
up to no good, eh?
311
00:12:24,978 --> 00:12:26,045
What are you doing?
312
00:12:26,112 --> 00:12:27,313
I'm sorry.
313
00:12:28,982 --> 00:12:30,250
So, boys,
314
00:12:30,316 --> 00:12:31,985
your parents
know where you are?
315
00:12:34,020 --> 00:12:36,990
No! No, they don't.
It was Scott's idea.
316
00:12:37,056 --> 00:12:39,259
Well, look how quickly
the keens give up their friends.
317
00:12:39,325 --> 00:12:42,829
I'm a liar.
I-I-I lied to my parents.
318
00:12:42,896 --> 00:12:45,198
I'm a terrible person. I...
I don't know.
319
00:12:45,265 --> 00:12:47,200
Easy kid. Calm down.
320
00:12:47,267 --> 00:12:49,869
It's not like you crashed
the real estate market.
321
00:12:49,936 --> 00:12:51,104
I'm calling my dad.
I gotta come clean.
322
00:12:51,171 --> 00:12:54,774
No, no, no, no, no.
Don't call your dad.
323
00:12:54,841 --> 00:12:56,042
I-I think you learned
your lesson.
324
00:12:56,109 --> 00:12:57,110
Well,
325
00:12:57,177 --> 00:12:59,078
I'm getting
a coincidental call,
326
00:12:59,145 --> 00:13:01,114
so, I gotta...
327
00:13:01,181 --> 00:13:02,115
Dad?
328
00:13:07,020 --> 00:13:08,154
All of you!
329
00:13:08,221 --> 00:13:11,124
Get on your knees! You're gonna
dig your own graves.
330
00:13:11,191 --> 00:13:14,127
Craig! I'm just trying
to make it memorable.
331
00:13:20,066 --> 00:13:21,768
First I get a "b" on my test,
then I sneak out at night.
332
00:13:21,835 --> 00:13:22,902
What's the matter with me?
333
00:13:22,969 --> 00:13:24,737
Nathan, what you did was wrong,
334
00:13:24,804 --> 00:13:27,140
but you're a good kid,
and your mom's right.
335
00:13:27,207 --> 00:13:29,742
You've gotta lighten up
a little,
336
00:13:29,809 --> 00:13:31,111
not take everything
so seriously.
337
00:13:31,177 --> 00:13:32,912
You take things seriously.
338
00:13:32,979 --> 00:13:35,048
Me? Me?
339
00:13:36,116 --> 00:13:38,785
Yeah, you're right. I do.
340
00:13:38,852 --> 00:13:41,121
I take things very seriously.
341
00:13:41,187 --> 00:13:42,922
Like tonight,
342
00:13:42,989 --> 00:13:44,824
instead of having fun,
I've been driving myself crazy
343
00:13:44,891 --> 00:13:47,193
trying to get apple juice
for your mom's soccer party.
344
00:13:47,260 --> 00:13:50,130
But you know what?
Not anymore.
345
00:13:50,196 --> 00:13:52,899
Tonight you're not gonna
worry about grades or lying,
346
00:13:52,966 --> 00:13:55,969
and I'm not gonna worry
about that apple juice.
347
00:13:57,270 --> 00:14:00,940
Actually, no. I have got
to get that apple juice.
348
00:14:01,007 --> 00:14:03,042
Is... is your hand stamped?
349
00:14:03,109 --> 00:14:04,144
Yeah, but there's a way
that you can sneak in
350
00:14:04,210 --> 00:14:05,812
through the garden center.
351
00:14:05,879 --> 00:14:07,080
I did that to use
the bathrooms.
352
00:14:07,147 --> 00:14:10,150
Those porta-potties are egregious.
Show me.
353
00:14:11,184 --> 00:14:14,020
The garden center,
not the porta-potties.
354
00:14:16,222 --> 00:14:18,925
What is this stuff?
355
00:14:18,992 --> 00:14:20,994
It's gamer fuel, specifically
formulated to help gamers
356
00:14:21,060 --> 00:14:22,996
sharpen their senses
and heighten their motor skills.
357
00:14:23,062 --> 00:14:25,064
It tastes like a fish barfed.
358
00:14:25,131 --> 00:14:29,068
No, it doesn't.
359
00:14:29,135 --> 00:14:33,740
What is that freshness?
360
00:14:33,807 --> 00:14:35,141
Wonderful juice!
361
00:14:35,208 --> 00:14:38,912
You know what? Never mind.
You clearly can't handle this.
362
00:14:38,978 --> 00:14:40,847
Let's go find some gamers
who are serious
363
00:14:40,914 --> 00:14:42,816
about taking this
to the next level.
364
00:14:42,882 --> 00:14:43,917
See ya, poseurs.
365
00:14:43,983 --> 00:14:45,084
Wait!
366
00:14:47,053 --> 00:14:49,155
We're serious gamers.
367
00:14:49,222 --> 00:14:51,858
Don't you waste my time.
368
00:14:51,925 --> 00:14:53,960
So when we get
to the basement door,
369
00:14:54,027 --> 00:14:56,029
we'll just hang it
over the top of the stairs
370
00:14:56,095 --> 00:14:57,864
and let it slip off.
371
00:14:57,931 --> 00:14:59,732
Let me guess.
372
00:14:59,799 --> 00:15:01,968
You have a list of reasons
why my idea is bad.
373
00:15:02,035 --> 00:15:03,903
Nope. Not allowed
to make any suggestions
374
00:15:03,970 --> 00:15:07,006
that could possibly
help improve your life.
375
00:15:07,073 --> 00:15:10,910
So let's just try your stupid,
dangerous, ill-conceived idea.
376
00:15:10,977 --> 00:15:13,980
Hey, Theresa, guess which finger
I'm holding up in this pot.
377
00:15:21,888 --> 00:15:22,956
Yeah, this is gonna work.
378
00:15:23,022 --> 00:15:24,057
Trust me. I'm a nurse.
379
00:15:24,124 --> 00:15:25,158
You need to learn that
380
00:15:25,225 --> 00:15:28,027
that's not relevant
to every situation, Brenda.
381
00:15:28,094 --> 00:15:30,130
Ready?
382
00:15:30,196 --> 00:15:31,097
One, two...
383
00:15:34,801 --> 00:15:39,739
Okay. Now it's
relevant that you're a nurse.
384
00:15:45,011 --> 00:15:48,148
We gotta stay low here and make
a left at the succulents.
385
00:15:48,214 --> 00:15:49,983
Go.
386
00:16:04,798 --> 00:16:05,965
What are you doing here?
387
00:16:06,032 --> 00:16:08,001
Think I'd let you
do this alone?
388
00:16:08,067 --> 00:16:09,969
You're in my world now.
389
00:16:11,805 --> 00:16:14,073
No.
I was here last Saturday.
390
00:16:14,140 --> 00:16:16,810
I needed a fern
for my bathroom.
391
00:16:30,990 --> 00:16:33,159
Jeez!
392
00:16:33,226 --> 00:16:37,163
The eye patch
kills your depth perception.
393
00:16:38,898 --> 00:16:39,999
There's that security guard.
394
00:16:43,269 --> 00:16:44,838
I think he saw us!
We should go,
395
00:16:44,904 --> 00:16:46,739
we should go, we should go,
we should go, we should go.
396
00:16:46,806 --> 00:16:48,141
Dad, if you guys create
a diversion,
397
00:16:48,208 --> 00:16:50,743
I think I can sneak
through there
398
00:16:50,810 --> 00:16:53,746
and get to the apple juice.
Nathan, that's suicide,
399
00:16:53,813 --> 00:16:54,914
or at least very difficult.
400
00:16:54,981 --> 00:16:57,050
I know you're in here.
You are surrounded
401
00:16:57,117 --> 00:16:59,018
by security cameras
which may or may not be on
402
00:16:59,085 --> 00:17:00,854
due to cost-cutting measures.
403
00:17:00,920 --> 00:17:02,856
Dad, it's the only way.
404
00:17:02,922 --> 00:17:04,157
Tell mom I love her.
405
00:17:04,224 --> 00:17:08,728
Just get that apple juice.
406
00:17:08,795 --> 00:17:09,729
Wait.
407
00:17:10,797 --> 00:17:12,799
I don't want you to slip.
408
00:17:21,074 --> 00:17:22,108
Make sure it's organic,
409
00:17:22,175 --> 00:17:24,744
in 6-ounce bottles.
410
00:17:24,811 --> 00:17:27,046
The future of our family
depends on it!
411
00:17:27,113 --> 00:17:29,749
- Caw-caw!
- Caw-caw! Caw-caw! Caw-caw!
412
00:17:29,816 --> 00:17:30,884
What the hell was that?
A diversion.
413
00:17:49,035 --> 00:17:50,870
What the hell was that?
414
00:17:50,937 --> 00:17:52,839
Why would you tackle us?
415
00:17:52,906 --> 00:17:54,941
No, no, I agree.
I got carried away.
416
00:17:55,008 --> 00:17:57,076
I ripped my pants.
417
00:17:57,143 --> 00:17:58,978
These were my mother's pants.
418
00:17:59,045 --> 00:18:00,947
They were a gift
from my mother,
419
00:18:01,014 --> 00:18:01,981
but still, it's upsetting.
420
00:18:02,048 --> 00:18:03,817
Yeah. I don't know what
I was thinking.
421
00:18:03,883 --> 00:18:05,151
You do know this is a costume,
right?
422
00:18:05,218 --> 00:18:06,853
I'm really disappointed
in myself.
423
00:18:08,154 --> 00:18:10,089
I think I gotta lie down
somewhere.
424
00:18:10,156 --> 00:18:11,858
I think... I don't...
425
00:18:11,925 --> 00:18:13,927
I think
there's something wrong.
426
00:18:18,097 --> 00:18:19,999
I think enough feeling
has come back to my hands
427
00:18:20,066 --> 00:18:22,735
that I can pick up
my glass of wine!
428
00:18:22,802 --> 00:18:24,838
Look at that.
429
00:18:24,904 --> 00:18:26,072
Maybe I should just knock
mine onto the table
430
00:18:26,139 --> 00:18:27,774
and lap it up.
431
00:18:27,841 --> 00:18:29,742
It's not like I haven't
done that before.
432
00:18:29,809 --> 00:18:31,978
Okay, I admit,
433
00:18:32,045 --> 00:18:35,882
maybe I am guilty sometimes
of telling you what to do.
434
00:18:39,285 --> 00:18:41,121
That pause was so that
you could cop to something
435
00:18:41,187 --> 00:18:42,188
you're guilty of.
436
00:18:42,255 --> 00:18:43,990
Okay.
437
00:18:44,057 --> 00:18:46,993
I'm just worried that
if things with you and Kenny
438
00:18:47,060 --> 00:18:48,795
got really bad, he's family,
439
00:18:48,862 --> 00:18:50,897
so if I ever had
to choose sides...
440
00:18:50,964 --> 00:18:53,066
I get it.
441
00:18:53,133 --> 00:18:54,901
It's just
he's so darn tortureable.
442
00:18:56,102 --> 00:18:58,204
I mean, he is a 36-year-old man
afraid of ghosts.
443
00:18:59,806 --> 00:19:01,908
But I'll lay off him...
444
00:19:01,975 --> 00:19:03,009
A little.
445
00:19:03,076 --> 00:19:04,210
Thank you.
446
00:19:04,277 --> 00:19:07,213
And I'll stop telling you what to do.
447
00:19:07,280 --> 00:19:10,183
If you stop pretending
to see ghosts around Kenny.
448
00:19:14,821 --> 00:19:16,856
I never should have let him
go alone.
449
00:19:19,192 --> 00:19:20,727
Hey!
Come on!
450
00:19:20,794 --> 00:19:21,995
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah!
Yes!
451
00:19:22,061 --> 00:19:23,863
Hey!
452
00:19:23,930 --> 00:19:25,165
No, no, no, no, no, no!
453
00:19:25,231 --> 00:19:27,867
You forgot your change,
sweetie.
454
00:19:27,934 --> 00:19:28,902
Thanks.
455
00:19:32,806 --> 00:19:34,741
That was so much fun.
456
00:19:34,808 --> 00:19:37,811
I'm proud of you, Nate.
457
00:19:42,982 --> 00:19:45,785
I need more brain blast.
458
00:19:45,852 --> 00:19:47,954
Actually, that's it.
You sold it all.
459
00:19:50,990 --> 00:19:53,827
So I guess I'll just...
Take off then?
460
00:19:53,893 --> 00:19:57,897
I... really appreciate
your help. Thanks.
461
00:19:59,799 --> 00:20:01,134
Bye.
462
00:20:02,836 --> 00:20:04,838
Okay.
463
00:20:04,904 --> 00:20:06,005
Hi! I'm Kim.
464
00:20:06,072 --> 00:20:07,941
Are to try a sample
of the hot, new energy drink?
465
00:20:08,007 --> 00:20:09,209
Hey, Kim.
466
00:20:10,877 --> 00:20:12,812
I got dibs on that guy.
467
00:20:17,984 --> 00:20:20,086
Okay.
468
00:20:20,153 --> 00:20:21,754
You can call me.
469
00:20:21,821 --> 00:20:25,024
Really?
My heart is racing.
470
00:20:25,091 --> 00:20:27,927
But it might just be
from that poison-in-a-can
471
00:20:27,994 --> 00:20:29,796
we've been selling.
472
00:20:29,863 --> 00:20:31,798
No, it's you.
473
00:20:40,140 --> 00:20:42,809
Attention,
morons and human compost.
474
00:20:42,876 --> 00:20:45,044
These three gentlemen
are guilty
475
00:20:45,111 --> 00:20:46,146
of sneaking
into the garden center.
476
00:20:46,212 --> 00:20:48,915
They will now come with me
and be retained
477
00:20:48,982 --> 00:20:50,984
for the remainder
of the evening.
478
00:20:51,050 --> 00:20:52,819
What if we don't wanna
come with you?
479
00:20:52,886 --> 00:20:58,124
Then I shall insist again
in a harsher tone.
480
00:20:58,191 --> 00:20:59,859
You have no power, do you?
481
00:20:59,926 --> 00:21:01,027
No, no, no.
Bup, bup, bup, bup, bup.
482
00:21:01,094 --> 00:21:03,730
- Don't do that.
- Seriously. Please?
483
00:21:03,797 --> 00:21:04,898
You know what I'm saying?
Not a good idea.
484
00:21:04,964 --> 00:21:07,033
We're cool, right?
485
00:21:07,100 --> 00:21:10,069
No, we're not cool! All night,
you have been a complete...
486
00:21:10,136 --> 00:21:13,873
- It is settled, then!
- We have reached an agreement.
487
00:21:13,940 --> 00:21:15,008
I will bestow mercy upon them
488
00:21:15,074 --> 00:21:17,877
and let them off
with a written warning.
489
00:21:20,180 --> 00:21:22,048
This is
a blank "mad libs" sheet.
490
00:21:22,073 --> 00:21:24,373
Sync and corrected by APOLLO
www.addic7ed.com
491
00:19:28,387 --> 00:19:30,253
It was a...
Stupid thing to do.
492
00:19:30,254 --> 00:19:32,891
It's fine.
493
00:19:32,892 --> 00:19:35,133
I'm used to being treated
like an outcast.
494
00:19:35,134 --> 00:19:37,719
I grew up
the weird homeschooled girl,
495
00:19:37,720 --> 00:19:40,615
and then I was fast-tracked
to university at 14,
496
00:19:40,616 --> 00:19:41,783
but nobody wanted
to be friends
497
00:19:41,784 --> 00:19:44,475
with a pint-size swot.
498
00:19:44,476 --> 00:19:46,436
I thought maybe things
would be better
499
00:19:46,437 --> 00:19:48,873
now that I've graduated,
you know...
500
00:19:48,874 --> 00:19:51,232
But here we are again.
501
00:19:51,233 --> 00:19:53,945
You know, uh...
I didn't fit in at first either.
502
00:19:53,946 --> 00:19:58,406
Please. You are
Mr. Cool Fist-Bump guy.
503
00:19:58,407 --> 00:20:01,786
Now, but it took time.
504
00:20:01,787 --> 00:20:04,506
I mean...
If you feel like a freak,
505
00:20:04,507 --> 00:20:06,414
then this office is perfect
for you.
506
00:20:06,415 --> 00:20:08,977
I do feel like a freak.
507
00:20:10,313 --> 00:20:13,379
Come on.
You know you want to.
508
00:20:18,677 --> 00:20:20,553
That was my first time.
509
00:20:20,554 --> 00:20:22,889
You'd never know.
510
00:20:24,139 --> 00:20:25,474
I'm gonna try
and get outta here.
511
00:20:25,475 --> 00:20:26,476
Oh.
512
00:20:26,477 --> 00:20:27,912
Maybe just w...
513
00:20:27,913 --> 00:20:31,482
- Whoa! Oh!
- Ohh!
514
00:20:31,483 --> 00:20:33,608
♪ Maybe
515
00:20:33,609 --> 00:20:37,655
♪ we got something in common
516
00:20:39,675 --> 00:20:42,427
♪ so come on
517
00:20:42,428 --> 00:20:44,212
♪ we can trust
518
00:20:44,213 --> 00:20:47,382
♪ there's something in common
519
00:20:47,383 --> 00:20:49,551
♪ between us
520
00:20:49,552 --> 00:20:51,853
♪ oh, come on
521
00:20:51,854 --> 00:20:53,461
♪ we can find
522
00:20:53,462 --> 00:20:55,940
♪ there's something in common
523
00:20:55,941 --> 00:20:58,643
♪ between our lives
524
00:21:01,218 --> 00:21:04,032
it's time
you finally watch this.
525
00:21:04,033 --> 00:21:06,017
It's an American classic.
526
00:21:06,018 --> 00:21:11,656
Oh! Um, Bill Murray, right,
from... from the art house films?
527
00:21:11,657 --> 00:21:13,898
We'll get there.
528
00:21:13,899 --> 00:21:17,796
I think someone's... Jealous.
529
00:21:19,131 --> 00:21:20,131
♪ Whoa, oh, oh
530
00:21:20,132 --> 00:21:21,466
♪ all right
531
00:21:21,467 --> 00:21:23,802
♪ whoa, oh, oh
532
00:21:23,803 --> 00:21:25,970
♪ whoa, oh, oh
♪ all right
533
00:21:25,971 --> 00:21:28,423
♪ whoa, o oh
534
00:21:28,424 --> 00:21:30,511
♪ whoa, oh, oh
535
00:21:32,124 --> 00:21:35,920
Sync & corrections by Rafael UPD
www.Addic7ed.com/
38815
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.