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1
00:00:00,392 --> 00:00:03,312
(upbeat pop music)
2
00:00:21,798 --> 00:00:24,278
- [Man] Hey, it don't look that big.
3
00:00:24,276 --> 00:00:25,336
Just give me a minute, man.
4
00:00:25,336 --> 00:00:27,996
(phone ringing)
5
00:00:28,950 --> 00:00:30,170
- Bridget!
6
00:00:30,169 --> 00:00:30,999
Phone!
7
00:00:32,953 --> 00:00:34,413
Phone!
8
00:00:34,409 --> 00:00:36,109
- I told you not to swallow that!
9
00:00:36,107 --> 00:00:37,807
- [Eamon] Phone!
10
00:00:37,806 --> 00:00:39,216
- You little--
- Bridget!
11
00:00:39,223 --> 00:00:40,063
Phone!
12
00:00:42,339 --> 00:00:43,729
(phone ringing)
Phone!
13
00:00:43,731 --> 00:00:45,351
(swoosh)
14
00:00:45,353 --> 00:00:47,193
Bridget, the phone!
15
00:00:47,192 --> 00:00:48,852
Phone!
16
00:00:48,852 --> 00:00:49,692
Phone!
17
00:00:50,896 --> 00:00:52,426
(thudding)
18
00:00:52,426 --> 00:00:54,806
(dramatic music)
19
00:00:54,814 --> 00:00:55,654
Phone!
20
00:00:58,147 --> 00:00:59,997
(dramatic music)
21
00:01:00,001 --> 00:01:01,301
(thud)
22
00:01:01,304 --> 00:01:04,434
(phone ringing)
23
00:01:04,433 --> 00:01:05,273
Phone!
24
00:01:08,563 --> 00:01:11,233
(phone ringing)
25
00:01:16,361 --> 00:01:17,191
(grunts)
26
00:01:17,194 --> 00:01:18,704
- Hello, 3257 double 8.
27
00:01:18,696 --> 00:01:20,876
(dial tone)
Hello?
28
00:01:20,877 --> 00:01:22,117
Hello?
29
00:01:22,116 --> 00:01:24,536
Eamon, get out here now!
30
00:01:24,542 --> 00:01:26,502
(sighs)
31
00:01:26,496 --> 00:01:27,326
- What?
32
00:01:29,165 --> 00:01:30,325
- I didn't get it.
33
00:01:30,327 --> 00:01:31,467
- You did.
- I didn't.
34
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- You did, Bridget.
35
00:01:32,567 --> 00:01:33,737
- I didn't, I missed it.
36
00:01:33,742 --> 00:01:35,292
- You miss mass, Bridget.
37
00:01:35,288 --> 00:01:36,928
You miss sick people
on the Late Late Show.
38
00:01:36,927 --> 00:01:37,947
You don't miss the phone.
39
00:01:37,949 --> 00:01:40,809
I told you from in there it
was ringing, you simpleton!
40
00:01:40,810 --> 00:01:42,020
- What was I supposed to do, Eamon?
41
00:01:42,023 --> 00:01:43,733
The child was choking,
I had to do something.
42
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He's the only one that looks
old enough to buy my fags.
43
00:01:46,115 --> 00:01:48,585
- You do realize, there
is no way we can ever
44
00:01:48,593 --> 00:01:50,483
find out who it was that called?
45
00:01:50,483 --> 00:01:51,323
- Yes.
46
00:01:52,858 --> 00:01:53,688
(birds chirping)
47
00:01:53,691 --> 00:01:54,521
- Who called, Bridget?
48
00:01:54,524 --> 00:01:55,364
- I don't know.
49
00:01:55,357 --> 00:01:56,187
- You do know.
50
00:01:56,190 --> 00:01:57,020
Who called?
51
00:01:57,023 --> 00:01:57,863
- I don't know who called.
52
00:01:57,856 --> 00:01:58,686
Oh, God, I can't take it.
53
00:01:58,689 --> 00:02:00,449
It's going to haunt me till the day I die.
54
00:02:00,454 --> 00:02:01,414
It'll be like, "Who was that person
55
00:02:01,412 --> 00:02:02,832
"that knocked on the door last August?"
56
00:02:02,830 --> 00:02:04,310
or "Who left those filthy magazines
57
00:02:04,311 --> 00:02:05,901
"in the bathroom two Sundays ago?"
58
00:02:05,895 --> 00:02:08,215
They were disgusting!
59
00:02:08,219 --> 00:02:09,509
- I told you.
60
00:02:09,514 --> 00:02:11,664
I was sitting down doing my business
61
00:02:11,662 --> 00:02:14,262
when a bird flew in and
dropped them two magazines
62
00:02:14,257 --> 00:02:15,977
at my feet.
63
00:02:15,981 --> 00:02:16,811
- I know.
64
00:02:16,814 --> 00:02:18,324
We can just ring around
to a few of the neighbors
65
00:02:18,323 --> 00:02:19,623
and see if it was them.
66
00:02:19,618 --> 00:02:20,448
- On our phone?
67
00:02:20,451 --> 00:02:21,281
- Uh!
68
00:02:21,284 --> 00:02:23,144
- Our bill was 13 pounds
last month, Bridget.
69
00:02:23,143 --> 00:02:24,273
13 pounds.
70
00:02:24,267 --> 00:02:26,817
You're ringing no one.
71
00:02:26,819 --> 00:02:27,649
- It doesn't really matter.
72
00:02:27,652 --> 00:02:28,492
(laughs)
73
00:02:28,485 --> 00:02:29,335
It's only a missed call.
74
00:02:29,335 --> 00:02:31,205
- So you're happy to live out the rest
75
00:02:31,212 --> 00:02:34,482
of your life not knowin' who called?
76
00:02:34,481 --> 00:02:35,951
- Yes, I'm totally, totally fine.
77
00:02:35,950 --> 00:02:36,780
(laughs)
78
00:02:36,783 --> 00:02:37,623
- I'm fine, too.
79
00:02:37,616 --> 00:02:38,886
- I said I was fine first.
80
00:02:38,887 --> 00:02:39,937
- Fine, you can be fine.
81
00:02:39,935 --> 00:02:40,765
I'm fine.
82
00:02:40,768 --> 00:02:41,708
- We'll just get on with our lives.
83
00:02:41,710 --> 00:02:42,670
(laughing)
84
00:02:42,668 --> 00:02:44,138
- Never talkin' about it
ever again, ever again.
85
00:02:44,136 --> 00:02:45,786
(chuckles)
86
00:02:45,789 --> 00:02:48,709
(nervous laughing)
87
00:02:53,821 --> 00:02:56,491
(ominous music)
88
00:03:00,859 --> 00:03:03,779
Mr. V. Pyong Yong, do you know him?
89
00:03:05,096 --> 00:03:05,926
- No, no.
90
00:03:07,359 --> 00:03:09,099
- That's the P's.
91
00:03:09,096 --> 00:03:10,986
Mr. J. Pizzazz, do you know him?
92
00:03:10,986 --> 00:03:11,816
- No.
93
00:03:11,819 --> 00:03:13,289
Wait!
94
00:03:13,285 --> 00:03:14,115
No.
95
00:03:14,118 --> 00:03:14,948
- Do you know him or not?
96
00:03:14,951 --> 00:03:15,831
- No, no, no.
97
00:03:15,826 --> 00:03:16,886
- Okay, on to the Q's.
98
00:03:16,891 --> 00:03:17,721
Actually, skip the Q's.
99
00:03:17,724 --> 00:03:18,564
You don't know any Q's.
100
00:03:18,557 --> 00:03:20,107
- I went out with Quiggy once.
101
00:03:20,110 --> 00:03:22,540
- Well, it's not him.
102
00:03:22,536 --> 00:03:23,796
- Or her.
103
00:03:23,801 --> 00:03:25,881
(laughs)
104
00:03:26,718 --> 00:03:27,548
Your face.
105
00:03:28,965 --> 00:03:30,055
- Well, it's not him.
106
00:03:30,064 --> 00:03:31,194
- And why not?
107
00:03:31,187 --> 00:03:35,347
- Because nobody who has ever
known you would ever call you!
108
00:03:36,538 --> 00:03:40,088
(door bell rings)
109
00:03:40,089 --> 00:03:44,069
- Thank you everybody for
coming in our hour of need.
110
00:03:44,073 --> 00:03:45,673
We may never know who called.
111
00:03:45,670 --> 00:03:46,760
- Have you tried dialing --
112
00:03:46,755 --> 00:03:48,755
- Shut up, Concepta.
113
00:03:48,760 --> 00:03:50,320
- Do you know, ever since I got these
114
00:03:50,318 --> 00:03:53,558
fake 38 double G breasts,
it's like nobody listens
115
00:03:53,562 --> 00:03:55,612
to what I haver to say anymore.
116
00:03:55,606 --> 00:03:56,526
- Didn't hear a word of that.
117
00:03:56,525 --> 00:03:57,905
Nice tits, by the way, though.
118
00:03:57,905 --> 00:03:58,935
- Thanks, Eamon.
119
00:03:58,939 --> 00:04:00,689
But seriously, have you tried dialing --
120
00:04:00,689 --> 00:04:02,399
- Go home, Concepta!
121
00:04:02,400 --> 00:04:05,670
The thing is, it could be
somebody from this very town!
122
00:04:05,669 --> 00:04:06,719
(glass breaks)
123
00:04:06,717 --> 00:04:07,557
- Or it could've been that new hotel
124
00:04:07,559 --> 00:04:08,809
from the next town over.
125
00:04:08,811 --> 00:04:10,911
Sure, they're calling everyone,
trying to sell you rooms.
126
00:04:10,905 --> 00:04:12,115
It's called marketing.
127
00:04:12,119 --> 00:04:13,199
- Marketing?
128
00:04:13,204 --> 00:04:16,224
Well, they can keep their
marketing and their fax machines.
129
00:04:16,218 --> 00:04:18,238
That's never gonna take off, marketing.
130
00:04:18,236 --> 00:04:20,466
I can tell you one thing, I'm never, ever,
131
00:04:20,471 --> 00:04:22,601
ever settin' foot in that hotel!
132
00:04:22,604 --> 00:04:24,034
Let me reiterate that.
133
00:04:24,034 --> 00:04:28,114
I am never, ever, ever
settin' foot in that hotel!
134
00:04:28,108 --> 00:04:30,738
(synthesizer music)
135
00:04:30,739 --> 00:04:32,389
- We're going to that hotel.
136
00:04:32,386 --> 00:04:33,726
- I just categorically stated that
137
00:04:33,727 --> 00:04:35,577
I'm not settin' foot
in the place, Bridget.
138
00:04:35,579 --> 00:04:38,179
- If you want to know who
called, we're going to have to...
139
00:04:38,184 --> 00:04:39,034
(dramatic music)
140
00:04:39,027 --> 00:04:40,027
Investigate.
141
00:04:42,246 --> 00:04:43,276
- [Narrator] This is Eamon.
142
00:04:43,280 --> 00:04:45,210
He works in a semi-state body.
143
00:04:45,209 --> 00:04:47,079
He's quite a guy.
144
00:04:47,083 --> 00:04:48,173
This is Bridget.
145
00:04:48,169 --> 00:04:51,169
She's gorgeous and she smokes a lot!
146
00:04:53,126 --> 00:04:54,626
By the way, I look after 'em,
147
00:04:54,633 --> 00:04:58,543
which isn't easy 'cause when
they met, it was murder,
148
00:04:58,541 --> 00:05:00,891
reduced to manslaughter on appeal.
149
00:05:00,891 --> 00:05:03,891
(funky disco music)
150
00:05:27,532 --> 00:05:28,782
- Bridget?
151
00:05:28,783 --> 00:05:29,623
Bridget?
152
00:05:29,616 --> 00:05:31,036
Bridget!
153
00:05:31,044 --> 00:05:32,924
Are you having your Hart
To Hart fantasy again?
154
00:05:32,921 --> 00:05:35,091
I told you, television isn't real!
155
00:05:35,092 --> 00:05:37,532
You can't tell the difference!
156
00:05:37,531 --> 00:05:38,751
- We're goin'.
157
00:05:38,745 --> 00:05:41,155
(slow music)
158
00:05:43,023 --> 00:05:43,863
Now...
159
00:05:46,139 --> 00:05:47,439
(sighs)
160
00:05:47,442 --> 00:05:48,782
Here's what's going to happen.
161
00:05:48,783 --> 00:05:50,263
I'm Stephanie Powers and I'm a journalist
162
00:05:50,264 --> 00:05:52,264
from the Travel section
of the Farmer's Journal
163
00:05:52,257 --> 00:05:53,817
and I'm here to review the hotel.
164
00:05:53,815 --> 00:05:55,765
You, I've never met
before and we both check
165
00:05:55,769 --> 00:05:57,169
into separate rooms.
166
00:05:57,173 --> 00:05:59,563
- I'm not payin' for two separate rooms.
167
00:05:59,555 --> 00:06:01,635
- Anyway, so we go
around and we ask around
168
00:06:01,643 --> 00:06:02,903
who may have called.
169
00:06:02,895 --> 00:06:04,565
Later on in the night, one of us sneaks
170
00:06:04,568 --> 00:06:06,978
into the other person's
room for a secret rendezvous
171
00:06:06,982 --> 00:06:09,882
to exchange information, most
definitely have relations.
172
00:06:09,881 --> 00:06:12,431
- That's the exact plot of
an episode of Hart To Hart,
173
00:06:12,427 --> 00:06:13,967
where a married couple
pretend they're unmarried
174
00:06:13,972 --> 00:06:15,542
and investigate murders in American
175
00:06:15,543 --> 00:06:17,343
country clubs and ski resorts.
176
00:06:17,344 --> 00:06:18,654
- Oh, oh!
177
00:06:18,647 --> 00:06:19,477
(scoffs)
178
00:06:19,480 --> 00:06:20,310
And you have the better idea?
179
00:06:20,313 --> 00:06:21,443
- Yeah, I do, actually.
180
00:06:21,444 --> 00:06:22,904
We could...
181
00:06:22,899 --> 00:06:23,979
I, I could...
182
00:06:26,501 --> 00:06:28,001
I'm not ridin' ya.
183
00:06:29,196 --> 00:06:31,606
(soft music)
184
00:06:38,135 --> 00:06:39,515
- Hello.
185
00:06:39,515 --> 00:06:42,055
- Desi, the hotel manager.
186
00:06:42,056 --> 00:06:42,966
- Desi, oh!
187
00:06:43,985 --> 00:06:45,645
My name is Stephanie Powers.
188
00:06:45,645 --> 00:06:47,185
Oh, you've never met me before.
189
00:06:47,190 --> 00:06:49,540
Although, I may have a
passing resemblance to a woman
190
00:06:49,540 --> 00:06:52,360
with six to eight children
from the next town over.
191
00:06:52,360 --> 00:06:55,690
Now, I'm from the Farmer's
Journal, Travel section,
192
00:06:55,690 --> 00:06:58,330
and I'm here to review
your delightful hotel.
193
00:06:58,326 --> 00:07:01,586
I do hope you got my call
confirming my free room.
194
00:07:01,593 --> 00:07:03,873
- I'm not sure if we did.
195
00:07:03,866 --> 00:07:05,706
We do have the phones in
and we usually keep a record
196
00:07:05,706 --> 00:07:08,616
of all the calls coming in and out.
197
00:07:09,869 --> 00:07:10,709
(laughs)
198
00:07:10,712 --> 00:07:12,212
I'll tell you what...
199
00:07:12,206 --> 00:07:14,096
Why don't you swing by my office later on
200
00:07:14,096 --> 00:07:17,006
and we can give it the once over?
201
00:07:17,008 --> 00:07:20,218
- Oh, I'd love to get
my head stuck right up
202
00:07:20,224 --> 00:07:22,224
into your phone records.
203
00:07:23,311 --> 00:07:25,521
- I'm sure you would, Mrs. Powers.
204
00:07:25,517 --> 00:07:26,347
- Miss!
- Oh!
205
00:07:26,350 --> 00:07:27,750
- It's miss, miss, miss!
206
00:07:27,748 --> 00:07:28,868
- Well, here's your key, Miss Powers
207
00:07:28,872 --> 00:07:31,472
and let me know if you
have any trouble fitting
208
00:07:31,465 --> 00:07:32,715
into your slot.
209
00:07:33,827 --> 00:07:36,977
- I did get a set of
keys lost up there once.
210
00:07:36,982 --> 00:07:38,282
Got 'em out eventually.
211
00:07:38,284 --> 00:07:40,374
(laughs)
212
00:07:44,887 --> 00:07:46,057
- I'll take a room, too, please.
213
00:07:46,062 --> 00:07:47,222
- Certainly, mister?
214
00:07:47,224 --> 00:07:48,694
- Eamon, Wagner!
215
00:07:48,693 --> 00:07:49,653
- Eamon Wagner?
216
00:07:49,651 --> 00:07:50,991
- No.
217
00:07:50,992 --> 00:07:52,162
Wagner Wagner.
218
00:07:53,035 --> 00:07:54,805
- Wagner Wagner?
219
00:07:54,810 --> 00:07:57,170
- Yeah, Wagner Wagner.
220
00:07:57,173 --> 00:07:58,013
(sighs)
221
00:07:58,006 --> 00:08:00,166
- Okay, Mr. Wagner Wagner,
222
00:08:01,134 --> 00:08:03,684
a single room is 15 pounds per night.
223
00:08:03,676 --> 00:08:04,516
- 15 pounds a night?
224
00:08:04,519 --> 00:08:06,689
I don't want to buy the...
225
00:08:08,539 --> 00:08:11,459
Say, Diam, Diam-pee-hina, Di-hemp,
226
00:08:11,463 --> 00:08:15,213
Di-hempna, Di-hyphnen,
Di-hemp-in-nah-men-ah.
227
00:08:17,031 --> 00:08:19,161
- Dymphna.
- Dymphna.
228
00:08:19,164 --> 00:08:21,284
What's a crazy guy like myself gotta do
229
00:08:21,284 --> 00:08:23,624
around here for a free room?
230
00:08:25,511 --> 00:08:26,471
- Here's your key.
231
00:08:26,469 --> 00:08:28,689
You can go to your room now.
232
00:08:28,691 --> 00:08:30,741
- You know, we could split it.
233
00:08:30,735 --> 00:08:32,395
Seven pound 50 each.
234
00:08:33,544 --> 00:08:34,954
- Excuse me, are you having a stroke?
235
00:08:34,949 --> 00:08:38,409
- No, why would I be having a...
236
00:08:38,410 --> 00:08:40,820
(slow music)
237
00:08:40,824 --> 00:08:41,694
- Keep your back good and straight.
238
00:08:41,690 --> 00:08:42,520
- [Bridget] Desi!
239
00:08:42,523 --> 00:08:43,363
- Ah!
240
00:08:43,356 --> 00:08:44,896
- Desi!
241
00:08:44,895 --> 00:08:46,945
- So glad you could join
us for a game, Miss Powers.
242
00:08:46,951 --> 00:08:48,281
- Oh, thanks, Desi.
243
00:08:48,280 --> 00:08:49,740
Please call me Stephanie.
244
00:08:49,735 --> 00:08:51,145
Now, while I have you, you wouldn't happen
245
00:08:51,153 --> 00:08:52,863
to have called anybody
in the next town over,
246
00:08:52,864 --> 00:08:54,384
around three o'clock the other day?
247
00:08:54,384 --> 00:08:56,304
- No, I don't think so.
248
00:08:57,960 --> 00:09:00,900
Stephanie, you certainly
know how to grip a shaft.
249
00:09:00,897 --> 00:09:02,857
- Thanks, Desi, so do you.
250
00:09:02,864 --> 00:09:06,784
Do you have much experience
in gripping shafts?
251
00:09:08,394 --> 00:09:11,404
- I assume you've played swingball before?
252
00:09:11,395 --> 00:09:13,475
- Let's just say, when
I see swinging balls,
253
00:09:13,477 --> 00:09:17,027
I like to give 'em a good hard whack!
254
00:09:17,027 --> 00:09:18,307
(laughs)
255
00:09:18,309 --> 00:09:19,139
- I hope you don't mind,
256
00:09:19,142 --> 00:09:21,682
I invited Mr. Wagner Wagner to play, too.
257
00:09:21,681 --> 00:09:23,281
Mixed doubles?
258
00:09:23,277 --> 00:09:24,107
(panting)
259
00:09:24,110 --> 00:09:26,020
- Sorry, had to go home and get the gear.
260
00:09:26,023 --> 00:09:27,333
Haven't worn it since secondary school.
261
00:09:27,326 --> 00:09:28,776
Still fits me like a glove.
262
00:09:28,782 --> 00:09:31,312
- Yes, it's certainly
a stimulating outfit.
263
00:09:31,310 --> 00:09:32,360
What do you think, Stephanie?
264
00:09:32,358 --> 00:09:34,358
- No balls, please.
265
00:09:34,363 --> 00:09:36,153
- You can't, it's attached the oak.
266
00:09:36,151 --> 00:09:37,441
- It certainly is.
267
00:09:37,441 --> 00:09:39,401
(laughing)
268
00:09:39,395 --> 00:09:40,835
- Very good.
269
00:09:40,838 --> 00:09:45,008
Alright, Wagner and Dymphna
versus myself and Stephanie.
270
00:09:48,628 --> 00:09:51,578
(upbeat dance music)
271
00:09:51,578 --> 00:09:52,658
Ah, 15, love.
272
00:09:54,533 --> 00:09:55,373
(laughs)
273
00:09:55,366 --> 00:09:57,216
(grunts)
274
00:09:57,215 --> 00:10:00,255
(grunting)
275
00:10:00,255 --> 00:10:02,675
Ooh, advantage, Wagner.
276
00:10:02,681 --> 00:10:03,771
Well played, Wagner.
277
00:10:03,767 --> 00:10:05,557
- Say, Desi, have you ever
called anybody's house
278
00:10:05,555 --> 00:10:06,965
and you don't know them, and you hung up
279
00:10:06,972 --> 00:10:08,672
before they had a chance to answer?
280
00:10:08,671 --> 00:10:09,751
- I'd like to know the answer to that
281
00:10:09,754 --> 00:10:12,504
perfectly reasonable question, too.
282
00:10:12,502 --> 00:10:13,342
(grunts)
283
00:10:13,335 --> 00:10:14,655
- Oh!
284
00:10:14,661 --> 00:10:16,021
Well, pardon my French,
285
00:10:16,024 --> 00:10:18,324
but I believe it's time to change ends.
286
00:10:18,323 --> 00:10:20,413
(laughs)
287
00:10:24,607 --> 00:10:26,687
(grunts)
288
00:10:28,578 --> 00:10:29,958
- Home run!
289
00:10:29,963 --> 00:10:33,673
- Well, I guess that's
game, set and match,
290
00:10:33,666 --> 00:10:36,116
Mr. Wagner Wagner, for now.
291
00:10:36,118 --> 00:10:39,008
Stephanie, I hope to see
a lot more of you later.
292
00:10:39,005 --> 00:10:40,995
- Oh, you will, unless you get blinded
293
00:10:40,997 --> 00:10:43,787
in some horrific workplace
accident or something.
294
00:10:43,794 --> 00:10:45,884
(laughs)
295
00:10:49,924 --> 00:10:51,434
What're you doing, making a show of us?
296
00:10:51,431 --> 00:10:53,391
I had him this close
to admitting it was him
297
00:10:53,385 --> 00:10:54,775
that called us the other day.
298
00:10:54,777 --> 00:10:55,987
- I'm making a show of us?
299
00:10:55,990 --> 00:10:58,670
Oh, Desi, I'd love to
serve an ace in your hole.
300
00:10:58,672 --> 00:11:00,012
That's a mixed metaphor, Bridget!
301
00:11:00,013 --> 00:11:00,853
- Shut up!
302
00:11:00,846 --> 00:11:02,606
I'm doing it so we find out who called!
303
00:11:02,606 --> 00:11:05,276
Now, keep your eyes open,
keep asking questions
304
00:11:05,280 --> 00:11:08,200
and we rendezvous after lights out.
305
00:11:09,073 --> 00:11:12,973
(smooth marimba music)
306
00:11:12,968 --> 00:11:15,298
(squeaking)
307
00:11:29,698 --> 00:11:32,198
- Well, what did you find out?
308
00:11:34,692 --> 00:11:38,062
Bridget, take your hand away from there.
309
00:11:38,063 --> 00:11:40,893
Bridget, take your hand away from there.
310
00:11:40,886 --> 00:11:41,716
Bridget!
311
00:11:44,104 --> 00:11:44,944
- Oh, my God!
312
00:11:44,937 --> 00:11:45,767
Mr. Wagner!
313
00:11:45,770 --> 00:11:46,930
- Desi, what're you doing here?
314
00:11:46,926 --> 00:11:48,396
- I thought this was Miss Powers room.
315
00:11:48,395 --> 00:11:50,105
- It was, I made her switch.
316
00:11:50,106 --> 00:11:53,196
There was a weird smell
comin' from the wardrobe.
317
00:11:53,197 --> 00:11:55,477
Desi, take your hand away from there.
318
00:11:55,483 --> 00:11:57,743
Desi, take your hand away from there!
319
00:11:57,743 --> 00:11:58,833
- Oh, my God.
320
00:12:03,618 --> 00:12:05,148
- No, I'm sorry, I didn't like that.
321
00:12:05,151 --> 00:12:06,911
I tried it once, it's just not for me.
322
00:12:06,913 --> 00:12:07,753
Thanks.
323
00:12:09,787 --> 00:12:10,827
- What's going on in here?
324
00:12:10,834 --> 00:12:13,014
- I think you know, Mr. Wagner Wagner,
325
00:12:13,005 --> 00:12:14,835
if that is in fact your real name.
326
00:12:14,844 --> 00:12:15,684
(laughs)
327
00:12:15,677 --> 00:12:16,507
Of course, it could be.
328
00:12:16,510 --> 00:12:18,470
There are some very
unimaginable parents nowadays,
329
00:12:18,471 --> 00:12:21,171
but you never seem to answer
to it, do you, Mr. Wagner?
330
00:12:21,166 --> 00:12:21,996
- Who are you talkin' to?
331
00:12:21,999 --> 00:12:22,829
- You!
332
00:12:22,832 --> 00:12:23,672
I'm talkin' to you!
333
00:12:23,665 --> 00:12:24,965
- Oh, this is worse than talkin' to her.
334
00:12:24,971 --> 00:12:26,391
Why did you come into me room?
335
00:12:26,389 --> 00:12:27,219
(scoffs)
336
00:12:27,222 --> 00:12:28,232
- I thought I was going
into Stephanie slash
337
00:12:28,228 --> 00:12:30,478
Bridget's room and Dymphna into yours.
338
00:12:30,476 --> 00:12:32,406
You see, myself and Dymphna are lovers
339
00:12:32,414 --> 00:12:34,554
and we thought you'd be
interested in some earth-shaking,
340
00:12:34,547 --> 00:12:36,727
no strings attached fabulous sex.
341
00:12:36,731 --> 00:12:39,071
- Well, I can guarantee you now, 110%,
342
00:12:39,068 --> 00:12:41,268
we have no interest in
any of that old muck.
343
00:12:41,265 --> 00:12:42,565
Isn't that right, Bridget?
344
00:12:42,567 --> 00:12:43,477
- Yes, ish.
345
00:12:44,598 --> 00:12:46,018
- Well, now you know I killed my wife.
346
00:12:46,016 --> 00:12:46,846
- [Bridget] What?
347
00:12:46,849 --> 00:12:49,229
- You killed Di-nemph-nemph,
Duke-en-emph, you killed her?
348
00:12:49,234 --> 00:12:50,404
- No, my wife!
349
00:12:51,857 --> 00:12:52,987
Who found out about myself and Dymphna,
350
00:12:52,994 --> 00:12:55,754
and who I murdered, then put
in that wardrobe over there,
351
00:12:55,752 --> 00:12:58,132
who admittedly is starting to smell a bit.
352
00:12:58,128 --> 00:12:59,918
- Oh, that's the smell!
353
00:12:59,916 --> 00:13:01,166
Oh, it's not.
354
00:13:01,167 --> 00:13:04,327
- And now you know, and so...
355
00:13:04,334 --> 00:13:06,974
Pack your bags, Bridget and Eamon.
356
00:13:06,965 --> 00:13:08,495
It's time for you to check out.
357
00:13:08,498 --> 00:13:10,388
- But you said we didn't
have to check out 'til 12.
358
00:13:10,388 --> 00:13:12,288
- No, it means he's going to kill us!
359
00:13:12,291 --> 00:13:13,291
- Are ya?
Are you gonna kill us?
360
00:13:13,287 --> 00:13:14,407
- Yes.
361
00:13:14,411 --> 00:13:15,841
- Ah, shite!
362
00:13:15,841 --> 00:13:18,421
(upbeat music)
363
00:13:20,388 --> 00:13:22,968
(upbeat music)
364
00:13:25,011 --> 00:13:26,971
- Before you kill us, just answer us.
365
00:13:26,965 --> 00:13:28,745
Was it you that rang our
house a couple of days ago
366
00:13:28,753 --> 00:13:30,713
at 3:00 p.m. and didn't have the --
367
00:13:30,707 --> 00:13:32,137
- And hung up before we could answer it.
368
00:13:32,137 --> 00:13:33,337
- No, of course not.
369
00:13:33,337 --> 00:13:34,547
(sighs)
370
00:13:34,551 --> 00:13:35,381
- Oh!
371
00:13:37,705 --> 00:13:39,025
- Now you know about the dead wife, so --
372
00:13:39,033 --> 00:13:39,873
- Hold on.
373
00:13:39,866 --> 00:13:40,696
Can I get my room for free?
374
00:13:40,699 --> 00:13:41,629
- Yes?
375
00:13:41,626 --> 00:13:44,306
- Then I couldn't give a
shite about your dead wife.
376
00:13:44,308 --> 00:13:45,138
(laughs)
377
00:13:45,141 --> 00:13:45,971
- Oh, grand, so my mistake.
378
00:13:45,974 --> 00:13:47,504
You know actually, this
reminds me of a funny mistake
379
00:13:47,501 --> 00:13:48,591
I made the other day.
380
00:13:48,586 --> 00:13:49,546
- This is funny.
381
00:13:49,554 --> 00:13:51,364
- Don't interrupt me, Dymphna!
382
00:13:51,357 --> 00:13:54,687
- Yeah, Dim, yeah, you don't
want to end up like the wife.
383
00:13:54,691 --> 00:13:56,771
(laughing)
384
00:13:56,772 --> 00:13:57,612
- Oh, that's good!
385
00:13:57,605 --> 00:13:58,435
- [Bridget] Dead.
386
00:13:58,438 --> 00:13:59,268
- Dead.
387
00:13:59,271 --> 00:14:01,281
He's likely to do it again to ya.
388
00:14:01,278 --> 00:14:02,208
- Oh, very good.
389
00:14:02,210 --> 00:14:03,260
Anyway, so there I was.
390
00:14:03,257 --> 00:14:04,277
I was watching a bit of television
391
00:14:04,279 --> 00:14:06,029
and I thought I heard the phone ringin'.
392
00:14:06,029 --> 00:14:09,539
So up I pop, go to the phone
to answer it only to realize,
393
00:14:09,541 --> 00:14:11,291
it's the bloody phone
ringin' in the television.
394
00:14:11,291 --> 00:14:12,501
(laughs)
395
00:14:12,504 --> 00:14:14,434
You couldn't make that up, could ya?
396
00:14:14,432 --> 00:14:15,652
You really couldn't!
397
00:14:15,645 --> 00:14:16,685
(laughs)
398
00:14:16,693 --> 00:14:17,533
(phone rings)
399
00:14:17,526 --> 00:14:18,376
- Bridget, the phone!
400
00:14:18,378 --> 00:14:20,178
- [Man] Todd, would you
just answer the phone?
401
00:14:20,179 --> 00:14:22,109
- [Todd] Gonna get it now.
402
00:14:22,108 --> 00:14:23,688
I've got the phone.
403
00:14:26,539 --> 00:14:27,539
- Oh, shite!
404
00:14:29,975 --> 00:14:31,015
That's typical of you, Bridget.
405
00:14:31,022 --> 00:14:32,662
You should've known it was
the phone on the telly.
406
00:14:32,657 --> 00:14:33,907
- Thank God that's all over!
407
00:14:33,908 --> 00:14:34,738
(gasps)
408
00:14:34,741 --> 00:14:38,741
Let's never mention that
missed call ever again.
409
00:14:41,277 --> 00:14:44,087
(camera shutter clicks)
410
00:14:44,087 --> 00:14:44,917
- [Policeman] It's okay, lads.
411
00:14:44,920 --> 00:14:45,750
At ease!
412
00:14:45,753 --> 00:14:46,853
- I hate it, motherfucker!
413
00:14:46,848 --> 00:14:48,318
May get involved.
414
00:14:48,316 --> 00:14:49,566
- [Eamon] What're they doing here?
415
00:14:49,568 --> 00:14:51,218
- In case the phone goes off again.
416
00:14:51,215 --> 00:14:52,045
- Come on.
417
00:14:54,408 --> 00:14:55,238
- Oh, no.
418
00:14:57,491 --> 00:14:58,601
(camera shutter clicks)
419
00:14:58,597 --> 00:14:59,557
I think it's maybe time to tell them that
420
00:14:59,555 --> 00:15:01,925
it was the phone on the
telly that was ringin'.
421
00:15:01,930 --> 00:15:04,770
- You're out of your
mind, the Army are here.
422
00:15:04,765 --> 00:15:08,095
(camera shutter clicks)
423
00:15:10,602 --> 00:15:12,062
- [Bridget] Frank.
424
00:15:12,058 --> 00:15:13,918
- [Frank] Well, we had to
organize a press conference,
425
00:15:13,922 --> 00:15:15,762
right, to get the appeal
of it nice and airy,
426
00:15:15,761 --> 00:15:16,851
you know what I mean?
427
00:15:16,847 --> 00:15:17,677
- The appeal?
428
00:15:17,680 --> 00:15:20,260
- [Frank] Yeah, so we can't
keep the press waitin'.
429
00:15:20,257 --> 00:15:21,087
- Why?
430
00:15:22,211 --> 00:15:23,221
- I don't know, it's just something
431
00:15:23,220 --> 00:15:24,550
that people say, isn't it?
432
00:15:24,548 --> 00:15:25,668
But come here, don't worry about that.
433
00:15:25,672 --> 00:15:29,132
Look, I have prepared for you
a statement to read out, okay?
434
00:15:29,133 --> 00:15:30,423
It's simple, right?
435
00:15:30,423 --> 00:15:32,483
The red bits are for you, Eamon, yeah?
436
00:15:32,479 --> 00:15:35,209
The blue bits are for you, Bridget, yeah?
437
00:15:35,212 --> 00:15:36,302
The green bits are for the two
438
00:15:36,297 --> 00:15:38,747
of you to read together, okay?
439
00:15:38,749 --> 00:15:40,739
The black bits, don't worry about them.
440
00:15:40,742 --> 00:15:41,792
They're my personal notes.
441
00:15:41,789 --> 00:15:43,079
Don't read them, okay?
442
00:15:43,079 --> 00:15:43,909
There you go.
443
00:15:43,912 --> 00:15:45,252
- Oh, that's very clear.
444
00:15:45,250 --> 00:15:46,280
- It is, yeah.
445
00:15:46,284 --> 00:15:47,344
You'd be lookin' at it and you'd be goin',
446
00:15:47,344 --> 00:15:48,404
"How'd I do that?
447
00:15:48,404 --> 00:15:51,214
"How did I write in
four different colors?"
448
00:15:51,214 --> 00:15:52,934
You'd be goin', "Four different pens!"
449
00:15:52,925 --> 00:15:54,275
No, you'd be wrong.
450
00:15:54,279 --> 00:15:56,159
You'd be wrong.
451
00:15:56,156 --> 00:15:58,206
Feast your eyes on this.
452
00:15:58,212 --> 00:16:00,172
This is the future.
453
00:16:00,166 --> 00:16:01,456
(gasps)
454
00:16:01,456 --> 00:16:03,686
What will they come up with next, huh?
455
00:16:03,691 --> 00:16:07,081
Your mind is blown, your mind is blown.
456
00:16:07,080 --> 00:16:08,750
Pick a color, just any color.
457
00:16:08,749 --> 00:16:09,909
Pick a color.
458
00:16:09,911 --> 00:16:10,991
- Uh, purple.
459
00:16:13,525 --> 00:16:14,355
- [Man] Bridget, Bridget!
460
00:16:14,358 --> 00:16:15,188
- [Woman] Eamon!
461
00:16:15,191 --> 00:16:16,021
- [Man] Bridget, Bridget!
462
00:16:16,024 --> 00:16:18,944
(crowd chattering)
463
00:16:21,162 --> 00:16:22,002
(camera shutter clicks)
464
00:16:21,995 --> 00:16:25,265
- [Woman] Eamon, Eamon, Eamon!
465
00:16:25,274 --> 00:16:26,544
- Okay, okay, relax, relax.
466
00:16:26,539 --> 00:16:27,919
Settle, everyone, settle.
467
00:16:27,918 --> 00:16:30,608
Right, before we take any questions,
468
00:16:30,607 --> 00:16:33,207
Bridget and Eamon are
going to do an appeal.
469
00:16:33,205 --> 00:16:34,035
- No.
470
00:16:34,038 --> 00:16:34,868
(laughs)
471
00:16:34,871 --> 00:16:35,701
No, we're not.
472
00:16:35,704 --> 00:16:37,434
We're going to all forget
about it and go home.
473
00:16:37,432 --> 00:16:38,892
- No, no, we're not!
474
00:16:38,888 --> 00:16:42,518
I was up half the night doing that.
475
00:16:42,515 --> 00:16:44,865
(clears throat)
476
00:16:44,865 --> 00:16:48,365
- Not long ago, our lives changed forever.
477
00:16:49,449 --> 00:16:50,279
(camera shutter clicks)
478
00:16:50,282 --> 00:16:51,542
(sighs)
479
00:16:51,542 --> 00:16:53,162
- You always think these types of things
480
00:16:53,164 --> 00:16:56,114
will never happen to
you, but to other people.
481
00:16:56,114 --> 00:16:59,014
Today, we became the other people.
482
00:16:59,005 --> 00:17:02,945
- At approximately 3:00
p.m., our phone rang.
483
00:17:02,951 --> 00:17:05,081
Get emotional now, Bridget.
484
00:17:05,084 --> 00:17:06,124
- [Frank] Don't do the black bits.
485
00:17:06,119 --> 00:17:10,239
- Myself and Eamon leave a
pause for dramatic effect.
486
00:17:10,244 --> 00:17:11,214
- [Frank] That's a black bit.
487
00:17:11,214 --> 00:17:14,894
- Myself and Eamon
missed a telephone call.
488
00:17:14,892 --> 00:17:17,862
We have no idea who it could be.
489
00:17:17,855 --> 00:17:19,895
(camera shutter clicks)
490
00:17:19,899 --> 00:17:21,939
Please, if you have any information,
491
00:17:21,939 --> 00:17:24,789
contact the Garrity's station, um,
492
00:17:24,790 --> 00:17:28,680
three double two not
zero, anytime after Alf,
493
00:17:28,675 --> 00:17:32,445
between the News for
the Deaf and MC Giver.
494
00:17:32,445 --> 00:17:34,645
- MacGyv, MacGyver.
495
00:17:34,654 --> 00:17:37,494
Any information, no
matter how big or small,
496
00:17:37,490 --> 00:17:39,700
could lead to finding
the bastard who did it.
497
00:17:39,699 --> 00:17:42,039
That's a bit strongly worded, isn't it?
498
00:17:42,040 --> 00:17:45,620
- [Couple] Let's not
miss this opportunity.
499
00:17:47,597 --> 00:17:49,207
- Let's not miss this opportunity.
500
00:17:49,206 --> 00:17:50,126
- [Couple] Pause.
501
00:17:50,125 --> 00:17:51,375
- Hold hands.
- Black bit!
502
00:17:51,377 --> 00:17:52,207
- I'm not holdin' her hand,
503
00:17:52,210 --> 00:17:53,240
I'm not holdin' her hand!
504
00:17:53,241 --> 00:17:56,951
(synthesizer music)
(barking)
505
00:17:56,945 --> 00:17:57,915
- It's going too far!
506
00:17:57,916 --> 00:17:59,036
Eamon!
507
00:17:59,039 --> 00:18:01,209
Taken that Father gave
up his precious time.
508
00:18:01,211 --> 00:18:03,041
If he finds out he missed Dynasty
509
00:18:03,042 --> 00:18:04,662
for nothin', he'll be livid.
510
00:18:04,664 --> 00:18:08,324
- Lord, let our caller, who
I imagine is from Dublin,
511
00:18:08,316 --> 00:18:12,026
with a, sort of a, raspy
voice, with such dulcet tones.
512
00:18:12,033 --> 00:18:14,233
He's struggling with his inner turmoil.
513
00:18:14,229 --> 00:18:16,059
He wants to call back,
he knows it's wrong,
514
00:18:16,056 --> 00:18:18,296
but the heart wants what the heart wants!
515
00:18:18,303 --> 00:18:19,563
- Jesus Christ.
516
00:18:19,560 --> 00:18:21,240
- Yes, Eamon.
517
00:18:21,241 --> 00:18:22,771
Jesus Christ, well done.
518
00:18:22,771 --> 00:18:25,341
Please, Jesus, send us a sign or even
519
00:18:25,340 --> 00:18:28,180
some heavy breathing to keep us going.
520
00:18:28,178 --> 00:18:30,148
Lord, hear us.
521
00:18:30,145 --> 00:18:32,465
- [Congregation] Lord,
graciously, graciously hear us.
522
00:18:32,469 --> 00:18:34,639
- Bridget, we need to speak
to you and Eamon in private.
523
00:18:34,640 --> 00:18:36,290
We've had a major
breakthrough in the case.
524
00:18:36,287 --> 00:18:37,117
- How could you?
525
00:18:37,120 --> 00:18:37,950
- What?
526
00:18:38,828 --> 00:18:40,538
- Be more brillianter at your job.
527
00:18:40,540 --> 00:18:41,930
That's what she was
going to say, wasn't it?
528
00:18:41,932 --> 00:18:43,802
- Oh, brilliant.
529
00:18:43,797 --> 00:18:45,097
- [Policemen] Come on, in the kitchen.
530
00:18:45,100 --> 00:18:45,990
- Okay.
531
00:18:45,993 --> 00:18:49,243
♫ Jesus Christ is Lord
532
00:18:50,780 --> 00:18:51,610
- We got them.
533
00:18:51,613 --> 00:18:52,453
- Who?
534
00:18:52,446 --> 00:18:53,956
- The caller.
535
00:18:53,960 --> 00:18:56,220
After extensive investigation,
536
00:18:56,220 --> 00:18:58,850
we've reason to believe the person
537
00:18:58,854 --> 00:19:01,794
who called your house two nights ago...
538
00:19:01,791 --> 00:19:03,951
(dramatic music)
539
00:19:03,949 --> 00:19:04,819
Was this man.
540
00:19:04,818 --> 00:19:06,158
- [Eamon] Henry Kelly?
541
00:19:06,159 --> 00:19:07,669
- Yeah, that's him.
542
00:19:07,666 --> 00:19:09,586
We've had him down at the
station the past seven hours,
543
00:19:09,592 --> 00:19:11,262
it's definitely him.
544
00:19:14,345 --> 00:19:16,845
- Going For Gold, Henry Kelly?
545
00:19:17,806 --> 00:19:19,386
- Yeah, that's him.
546
00:19:20,309 --> 00:19:21,599
- [Policeman] Mm-hmm.
547
00:19:21,599 --> 00:19:23,389
- Okay, Henry Kelly from Going For Gold,
548
00:19:23,392 --> 00:19:25,412
who lives in London?
549
00:19:25,410 --> 00:19:26,490
- Yes, Eamon.
550
00:19:28,564 --> 00:19:29,894
- Let me get this right.
551
00:19:29,893 --> 00:19:33,523
Henry Kelly, from Going For
Gold, who lives in London,
552
00:19:33,520 --> 00:19:36,160
who hosts a quiz show,
right, where foreign people,
553
00:19:36,163 --> 00:19:38,033
with a limited knowledge
of the English language,
554
00:19:38,028 --> 00:19:40,768
take on people from England,
whose first language
555
00:19:40,774 --> 00:19:43,514
is English, and therefore,
subsequently, have no chance
556
00:19:43,507 --> 00:19:47,057
of winning that quiz at all,
whatsoever, that Henry Kelly?
557
00:19:47,062 --> 00:19:48,072
- Yes.
558
00:19:48,071 --> 00:19:52,241
Well, I kind of say, maybe
90% or, well, 15%, I'd say.
559
00:19:54,227 --> 00:19:55,487
Look, you're going to have to come down
560
00:19:55,491 --> 00:19:57,691
to the station to identify him.
561
00:19:57,688 --> 00:19:59,018
- I'll get the passports.
562
00:19:59,016 --> 00:19:59,846
The passports!
563
00:19:59,849 --> 00:20:00,679
(laughs)
564
00:20:00,682 --> 00:20:01,522
Did I say that?
565
00:20:01,515 --> 00:20:02,835
I meant handbag.
566
00:20:02,839 --> 00:20:04,349
Where would we be runnin' off to?
567
00:20:04,346 --> 00:20:06,426
(laughs)
568
00:20:08,566 --> 00:20:11,226
(hip hop music)
569
00:20:13,976 --> 00:20:14,926
- Was he in an accident?
570
00:20:14,934 --> 00:20:16,314
(laughs)
571
00:20:16,313 --> 00:20:17,153
- Good one, Eamon.
572
00:20:17,146 --> 00:20:18,236
(laughs)
573
00:20:18,241 --> 00:20:19,421
An accident!
574
00:20:19,416 --> 00:20:20,906
We'll use that one, Paul, huh?
575
00:20:20,910 --> 00:20:21,740
An accident!
576
00:20:21,743 --> 00:20:22,583
Good one!
577
00:20:22,576 --> 00:20:23,406
(laughing)
578
00:20:23,409 --> 00:20:24,239
- Very good, Eamon.
579
00:20:24,242 --> 00:20:25,652
And sure, accidents happen
around here all the time.
580
00:20:25,649 --> 00:20:26,859
(laughs)
581
00:20:26,862 --> 00:20:28,882
- [Bridget] Oh, my God,
his beautiful face!
582
00:20:28,880 --> 00:20:31,010
- Which would almost be
difficult for you to see him face
583
00:20:31,012 --> 00:20:35,182
to face, but we just need
you to identify the ring.
584
00:20:38,177 --> 00:20:39,007
- Oh, no.
585
00:20:39,010 --> 00:20:40,670
No, please, not again.
586
00:20:40,667 --> 00:20:41,717
Look, I've already told you --
587
00:20:41,715 --> 00:20:42,555
- [Policeman] Ring the phone, Henry!
588
00:20:42,557 --> 00:20:43,387
(crying)
589
00:20:43,390 --> 00:20:44,780
- I don't know who you
want me to call, alright?
590
00:20:44,780 --> 00:20:45,900
- [Policeman] We know you know the number!
591
00:20:45,903 --> 00:20:46,913
- I do not know!
592
00:20:46,912 --> 00:20:47,752
- [Policeman] Ring it!
593
00:20:47,745 --> 00:20:48,575
- I don't know, I've never --
594
00:20:48,578 --> 00:20:49,408
- [Policeman] Ring it
like you did that night!
595
00:20:49,411 --> 00:20:50,241
- I didn't ring anybody!
596
00:20:50,244 --> 00:20:51,084
- [Policeman] Ring it!
597
00:20:51,077 --> 00:20:53,727
(thud)
(crying)
598
00:20:53,729 --> 00:20:54,849
- We'll keep working on him.
599
00:20:54,853 --> 00:20:56,653
You go home and stay by the
phone, in case it's not him.
600
00:20:56,654 --> 00:20:58,404
I mean, sure, we're
15% certain that it is.
601
00:20:58,404 --> 00:21:00,004
But you know, stranger
things have happened.
602
00:21:00,000 --> 00:21:00,830
(thudding)
(crying)
603
00:21:00,833 --> 00:21:01,673
- Please!
604
00:21:01,666 --> 00:21:02,806
Oh, God!
605
00:21:02,807 --> 00:21:03,777
- [Policeman] Ring it!
606
00:21:03,778 --> 00:21:06,108
(thwacking)
607
00:21:07,226 --> 00:21:10,226
(slow guitar music)
608
00:21:52,977 --> 00:21:54,727
- It's no use.
609
00:21:54,727 --> 00:21:57,207
Why don't we all just forget about it?
610
00:21:57,209 --> 00:21:59,009
You can all go home!
611
00:21:59,010 --> 00:22:00,130
- Do you know what, I
normally wouldn't agree
612
00:22:00,134 --> 00:22:01,884
with Bridget, but she's dead right.
613
00:22:01,884 --> 00:22:05,204
None of you have any reason
to be here now anymore, right?
614
00:22:05,204 --> 00:22:07,084
Why don't we forget the whole thing?
615
00:22:07,081 --> 00:22:09,111
We can all go home and live
out the rest of our lives
616
00:22:09,112 --> 00:22:12,002
in silent anguish, occasionally
taking it out on the kids?
617
00:22:11,998 --> 00:22:12,828
- [Bridget] Yes.
618
00:22:12,831 --> 00:22:14,341
- Can't do that, Eamon.
619
00:22:14,335 --> 00:22:16,225
This is personal now.
620
00:22:16,225 --> 00:22:18,025
- Why don't you just ring --
621
00:22:18,026 --> 00:22:19,386
- The bastard's neck!
622
00:22:19,393 --> 00:22:20,233
- [Father] Aye.
623
00:22:20,226 --> 00:22:21,176
- You're right, Concepta!
624
00:22:21,184 --> 00:22:24,214
- Or you could say, we
don't have any actual
625
00:22:24,207 --> 00:22:27,027
evidence against you, so
just go on home and forget
626
00:22:27,030 --> 00:22:29,040
about the brutal beatings we gave you?
627
00:22:29,035 --> 00:22:29,865
- No, no.
628
00:22:29,868 --> 00:22:33,188
Why don't you ring one four seven one?
629
00:22:33,185 --> 00:22:34,015
- 1,471?
630
00:22:35,280 --> 00:22:36,110
- Yes!
631
00:22:36,113 --> 00:22:37,713
Ring that number!
632
00:22:37,706 --> 00:22:40,206
- You know lots of big
numbers, don't you, Concepta?
633
00:22:40,207 --> 00:22:41,037
Good girl!
634
00:22:41,987 --> 00:22:42,817
Why don't you go out in the road there
635
00:22:42,820 --> 00:22:44,250
and kick a ball around?
636
00:22:44,245 --> 00:22:45,465
- Listen to me!
637
00:22:45,471 --> 00:22:49,881
When I got my telecommunications
diploma from Colonel ROTC,
638
00:22:49,877 --> 00:22:52,797
I learned that if you
dial one four seven one
639
00:22:52,802 --> 00:22:55,142
on the phone, it automatically rings back
640
00:22:55,139 --> 00:22:57,719
the person who originally rang you!
641
00:22:57,718 --> 00:22:59,718
- Oh, she's right!
642
00:22:59,724 --> 00:23:01,784
I remember the old sergeant
doin' it one night,
643
00:23:01,780 --> 00:23:04,860
when he was convinced Terry Wogan rang.
644
00:23:04,858 --> 00:23:05,688
(laughs)
645
00:23:05,691 --> 00:23:06,521
- That's right!
646
00:23:06,524 --> 00:23:07,654
The beatin' he gave him.
647
00:23:07,654 --> 00:23:09,204
Turns out it wasn't Terry Wogan at all.
648
00:23:09,200 --> 00:23:10,400
(laughing)
649
00:23:10,400 --> 00:23:11,650
Come on, Eamon!
650
00:23:11,652 --> 00:23:12,492
Up you go.
651
00:23:20,706 --> 00:23:23,056
- Okay, before I ring one four seven one,
652
00:23:23,056 --> 00:23:25,086
I want to tell you all a very funny story.
653
00:23:25,087 --> 00:23:25,917
- Do.
654
00:23:25,920 --> 00:23:27,210
- Yeah, I will.
655
00:23:27,212 --> 00:23:31,632
I remember this fella
who thought the phone...
656
00:23:31,631 --> 00:23:32,461
(laughs)
657
00:23:32,464 --> 00:23:35,194
Ringing on the telly was the
phone ringin' in the house.
658
00:23:35,194 --> 00:23:36,034
(laughs)
659
00:23:36,027 --> 00:23:36,857
- What was his name?
660
00:23:36,860 --> 00:23:37,690
- Shh.
661
00:23:37,693 --> 00:23:39,353
- He must've been a total gob-say, was he?
662
00:23:39,350 --> 00:23:41,280
- Christ, a real man would
never live that down.
663
00:23:41,278 --> 00:23:42,538
Did his friends beat the
shit out of him, Eamon,
664
00:23:42,542 --> 00:23:44,202
for being so stupid?
665
00:23:44,203 --> 00:23:45,043
- I would.
666
00:23:45,036 --> 00:23:47,286
(laughing)
667
00:23:51,219 --> 00:23:53,129
- I wonder how long we could stand around
668
00:23:53,134 --> 00:23:56,054
just thinking about things like...
669
00:23:56,046 --> 00:23:58,876
Rabbits or industrial disputes.
670
00:23:58,881 --> 00:24:00,211
Ages probably.
671
00:24:00,210 --> 00:24:01,140
Ages.
672
00:24:01,142 --> 00:24:02,732
- Ring it, Eamon!
673
00:24:02,726 --> 00:24:05,476
(dramatic music)
674
00:24:11,793 --> 00:24:12,633
- [Eamon] Yeah, it was Henry Kelly.
675
00:24:12,626 --> 00:24:14,876
(cheering)
676
00:24:16,250 --> 00:24:17,080
- Great!
677
00:24:17,083 --> 00:24:17,923
I won!
678
00:24:20,071 --> 00:24:21,451
- Who am I?
679
00:24:21,450 --> 00:24:23,060
I'm a character from Carnation Street,
680
00:24:23,060 --> 00:24:26,190
the popular soap that was
aired only in the U.K.,
681
00:24:26,188 --> 00:24:28,298
and not anywhere at all in Europe.
682
00:24:28,296 --> 00:24:29,906
My first name is Hilda.
683
00:24:29,905 --> 00:24:31,355
- Eamon, do you think I
should call the guards
684
00:24:31,361 --> 00:24:34,831
and tell them about your man,
Desi, who murdered his wife?
685
00:24:34,834 --> 00:24:36,164
- On our bill?
686
00:24:36,163 --> 00:24:37,003
Yeah, I would sure mind.
687
00:24:36,996 --> 00:24:38,996
You can walk down to the Garrity station.
688
00:24:38,998 --> 00:24:40,198
I'll tell you what you can do first.
689
00:24:40,198 --> 00:24:41,458
You can put the dinner on
690
00:24:41,463 --> 00:24:44,133
before you go solvin' murder cases.
691
00:24:44,132 --> 00:24:45,182
(buzz)
692
00:24:45,179 --> 00:24:46,009
- Germany.
693
00:24:46,012 --> 00:24:48,002
- This is not fair!
694
00:24:48,001 --> 00:24:49,871
We do not have your English
TV program in Deutschland!
695
00:24:49,866 --> 00:24:51,126
(laughs)
696
00:24:51,130 --> 00:24:54,310
- Jesus, the Germans are
first take, aren't they?
697
00:24:54,310 --> 00:24:56,960
Imagine calling one of your kids Hans.
698
00:24:56,959 --> 00:24:58,299
Oh, hello, Hands.
699
00:24:58,300 --> 00:24:59,590
- Hans.
700
00:24:59,590 --> 00:25:00,980
- Hands, Bridget.
701
00:25:00,982 --> 00:25:02,142
- Hans!
702
00:25:02,144 --> 00:25:02,984
Hans!
703
00:25:02,977 --> 00:25:06,517
Hans, as in Hans Sandwich, you dope.
704
00:25:06,519 --> 00:25:09,099
(upbeat music)
705
00:25:09,149 --> 00:25:13,699
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