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1
00:00:00,350 --> 00:00:03,350
('80s synth music)
2
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- Red lemonade, I said red lemonade!
3
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- I swear to god, they don't
have red lemonade in America,
4
00:00:42,281 --> 00:00:44,191
that's what my sister says.
5
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- We should export it over
there, we'd make a fortune.
6
00:00:47,687 --> 00:00:50,447
- You're so stupid.
- You are a simpleton.
7
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- Stupid.
(laughing)
8
00:00:52,030 --> 00:00:54,470
- Red lemonade, gas, isn't it?
9
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You couldn't make it up.
10
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And flares.
11
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Does anybody remember flare trousers?
12
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What was goin' on there?
13
00:01:00,553 --> 00:01:03,403
You can have three ankles
in each leg, so you could.
14
00:01:03,397 --> 00:01:05,147
And space hoppers.
15
00:01:05,148 --> 00:01:06,368
Space hoppers.
16
00:01:06,373 --> 00:01:08,443
God, does anybody remember them?
17
00:01:08,444 --> 00:01:10,524
Oh, hilarious, so it is.
18
00:01:10,520 --> 00:01:11,660
(laughing)
19
00:01:11,657 --> 00:01:12,487
- Jimmy,
20
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you're just saying all
things from the 1970s.
21
00:01:14,723 --> 00:01:16,153
- Kerplunk.
22
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Do you remember
23
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the board game?
- Aye.
24
00:01:18,282 --> 00:01:20,082
- With the marbles and the sticks.
25
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(laughing)
26
00:01:21,497 --> 00:01:24,807
No, well, I'll have youse laughin'.
27
00:01:24,811 --> 00:01:28,271
I'm gonna ask for your vote
in the upcoming election.
28
00:01:28,265 --> 00:01:30,515
(laughing)
29
00:01:32,741 --> 00:01:34,781
- Who in their right mind is gonna vote
30
00:01:34,778 --> 00:01:37,548
for one of ye bastoons down here?
31
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- Martin.
32
00:01:39,132 --> 00:01:41,172
- You could vote for someone else.
33
00:01:41,166 --> 00:01:43,276
(dramatic slamming)
34
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But I wouldn't recommend it.
35
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- Here, Eamon.
36
00:01:51,471 --> 00:01:54,831
You like drinkin', and
sing song, and drinkin'.
37
00:01:54,829 --> 00:01:55,969
You should run.
38
00:01:55,969 --> 00:01:57,189
- Politicians?
39
00:01:57,187 --> 00:01:59,297
Do you know what politicians should do?
40
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Stay out of people's business
41
00:02:00,607 --> 00:02:02,027
and let them build houses and septic tanks
42
00:02:02,031 --> 00:02:04,351
without lookin' for stupid
plannin' permission.
43
00:02:04,347 --> 00:02:05,727
That's what they should do.
44
00:02:05,728 --> 00:02:07,418
- Yes.
(clapping)
45
00:02:07,419 --> 00:02:08,249
- As for tax,
46
00:02:08,252 --> 00:02:09,342
where does the tax go?
47
00:02:09,342 --> 00:02:10,512
Not on the roads, anyway.
48
00:02:10,514 --> 00:02:13,524
I hit more holes last night
than Seve Ballesterios did.
49
00:02:13,521 --> 00:02:14,911
And then to be stopped by the guards
50
00:02:14,910 --> 00:02:16,090
and asked how many drinks I had,
51
00:02:16,091 --> 00:02:17,721
includin' the pint I was holdin'.
52
00:02:17,716 --> 00:02:18,606
I tell you one thing,
53
00:02:18,613 --> 00:02:19,833
this country's gone down the drain
54
00:02:19,833 --> 00:02:20,673
and the drain is blocked
55
00:02:20,666 --> 00:02:22,276
'cause nobody could be arsed to fix it.
56
00:02:22,277 --> 00:02:23,657
I tell you one thing,
if I was up in Dublin,
57
00:02:23,659 --> 00:02:25,779
I wouldn't bother me
hole fixin' it either.
58
00:02:25,777 --> 00:02:30,047
(clapping)
(cheering)
59
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Where's me red lemonade, would
you get the red lemonade?!
60
00:02:34,114 --> 00:02:36,534
(grim music)
61
00:02:41,332 --> 00:02:42,452
- Do I have to do anything?
62
00:02:42,446 --> 00:02:43,276
- No.
63
00:02:43,279 --> 00:02:44,509
(rapidly) Just canvas
and poster, lick arse,
64
00:02:44,505 --> 00:02:46,435
kissing babies, debates,
telling lies, shaking hands,
65
00:02:46,441 --> 00:02:48,501
be nice to people you don't even like,
66
00:02:48,500 --> 00:02:50,810
having stupid ideas, and making
promises you'll never keep.
67
00:02:50,808 --> 00:02:53,718
It's called politics, Eamon.
68
00:02:53,716 --> 00:02:54,546
- It's called shite for takes,
69
00:02:54,549 --> 00:02:56,179
and it goes against my main
policy of doing nothing
70
00:02:56,180 --> 00:02:57,260
at all times.
71
00:02:58,362 --> 00:02:59,892
- People have to pretend
that they like us.
72
00:02:59,888 --> 00:03:01,368
(gasps) It would be lovely.
73
00:03:01,369 --> 00:03:02,769
- You can forget your fantasy of people
74
00:03:02,772 --> 00:03:04,052
pretending they like us.
75
00:03:04,052 --> 00:03:05,292
I'm a busy man, Bridget.
76
00:03:05,288 --> 00:03:06,188
I've things to do you know.
77
00:03:06,193 --> 00:03:08,013
I'm not sitting around
here all day doing nothin'.
78
00:03:08,011 --> 00:03:09,591
I have to go and...
79
00:03:11,344 --> 00:03:12,784
I'm a busy man, Bridget!
80
00:03:12,782 --> 00:03:13,852
- You don't have to do anything.
81
00:03:13,852 --> 00:03:15,502
I'll do all the work.
82
00:03:15,500 --> 00:03:19,830
Now I had a big think for
myself last night and...
83
00:03:19,825 --> 00:03:20,685
Here's the plan of action!
84
00:03:20,691 --> 00:03:22,171
(rustles)
85
00:03:22,167 --> 00:03:23,287
- Lots of drawin' on the blinds again,
86
00:03:23,292 --> 00:03:24,162
you daft bitch.
87
00:03:24,156 --> 00:03:24,986
If anyone can read backwards,
88
00:03:24,989 --> 00:03:26,349
the whole town would know your plan.
89
00:03:26,346 --> 00:03:27,326
- I'll blind you in a
minute if you don't shut up.
90
00:03:27,334 --> 00:03:29,114
Now pay attention!
91
00:03:29,109 --> 00:03:30,589
First things first, you're gonna have
92
00:03:30,592 --> 00:03:31,962
to look the part.
93
00:03:31,958 --> 00:03:34,378
(rock music)
94
00:03:37,853 --> 00:03:38,973
- Give a twirl.
95
00:03:38,971 --> 00:03:39,801
- (deadpan) No.
96
00:03:39,804 --> 00:03:40,744
- Now downstairs we go
97
00:03:40,742 --> 00:03:42,392
for a gravy stain on that tie.
98
00:03:42,393 --> 00:03:43,233
Here.
99
00:03:44,696 --> 00:03:46,836
(thuds)
100
00:03:46,835 --> 00:03:50,165
- How am I supposed to know what to do?!
101
00:03:51,862 --> 00:03:53,842
- What, what are you looking at, what?
102
00:03:53,840 --> 00:03:54,910
- (rapidly) Go, go, go.
103
00:03:54,909 --> 00:03:55,739
- I'm building a road.
104
00:03:55,742 --> 00:03:56,892
Government up in Dublin
don't want us to have a road,
105
00:03:56,886 --> 00:03:58,156
I'm going up to Dublin
going to get the money,
106
00:03:58,162 --> 00:03:59,392
and going to build the road.
107
00:03:59,394 --> 00:04:01,054
- No, no, no, just say it again
108
00:04:01,046 --> 00:04:02,396
like I can't feckin' understand ya!
109
00:04:02,403 --> 00:04:06,573
- (repeats speech in a thick Irish accent)
110
00:04:08,460 --> 00:04:10,560
- You sound like an
absolute gobshite, Eamon.
111
00:04:10,562 --> 00:04:12,422
It's perfect!
112
00:04:12,421 --> 00:04:14,571
Now we need just one more thing.
113
00:04:14,571 --> 00:04:16,051
- Lethal injection.
114
00:04:16,054 --> 00:04:17,464
- A catchy slogan.
115
00:04:17,457 --> 00:04:18,697
What's your catchy slogan?
116
00:04:18,695 --> 00:04:19,525
- I have to wear the hat.
117
00:04:19,528 --> 00:04:20,358
Isn't that enough?
118
00:04:20,361 --> 00:04:21,421
- No, Eamon, no.
119
00:04:21,419 --> 00:04:23,269
Now what was that thing you
said to me the first night
120
00:04:23,273 --> 00:04:25,213
we got, you know, relation-y.
121
00:04:25,211 --> 00:04:27,021
- Feck off, I'm doing me best.
122
00:04:27,024 --> 00:04:28,344
- Feck off, I'm doing me best.
123
00:04:28,344 --> 00:04:30,284
That is brilliant!
124
00:04:30,279 --> 00:04:31,889
Oh, Eamon, look at ya.
125
00:04:31,885 --> 00:04:34,805
The suit, the poster, the slogan,
the borderline alcoholism,
126
00:04:34,812 --> 00:04:36,462
the total disregard for people.
127
00:04:36,458 --> 00:04:37,538
Jesus Christ.
128
00:04:39,304 --> 00:04:41,244
You could nearly be Taoiseach.
129
00:04:41,239 --> 00:04:43,709
Nothing can stop us now.
130
00:04:43,710 --> 00:04:45,690
- I accidentally joined
the IRA four months ago.
131
00:04:45,692 --> 00:04:48,122
- Love it, backstory, work with me,
132
00:04:48,119 --> 00:04:49,559
never mention it again.
133
00:04:49,560 --> 00:04:50,630
- Sold a passport.
134
00:04:50,628 --> 00:04:51,988
- Shhh.
135
00:04:51,988 --> 00:04:54,398
- To two Saudi Arabians.
- Shhh.
136
00:04:54,404 --> 00:04:56,574
(singing)
137
00:05:03,477 --> 00:05:05,597
- 90 percent sure they caused
the foot-and-mouth crisis.
138
00:05:05,598 --> 00:05:06,428
- Shut up!
139
00:05:07,353 --> 00:05:09,493
Now, go and knock on the door.
140
00:05:09,490 --> 00:05:10,400
- I will not.
141
00:05:10,396 --> 00:05:13,726
- (angrily) Go, go, go.
142
00:05:15,878 --> 00:05:18,428
(loud whispering) Eamon.
143
00:05:18,430 --> 00:05:19,260
(rock music plays from inside the house)
144
00:05:19,263 --> 00:05:20,453
- Eamon, how are you?
145
00:05:20,448 --> 00:05:21,278
What's up?
146
00:05:21,281 --> 00:05:22,501
- How are you, Tadhg?
147
00:05:22,501 --> 00:05:23,571
Sorry about this now.
148
00:05:23,571 --> 00:05:25,801
It's not even my idea,
it's Bridget's idea, but
149
00:05:25,801 --> 00:05:28,071
it will be great if there's
an election coming up,
150
00:05:28,068 --> 00:05:31,438
it would be great if, you don't have to,
151
00:05:31,436 --> 00:05:33,696
give us your vote.
152
00:05:33,703 --> 00:05:34,543
- Yeah, you can have mine,
153
00:05:34,536 --> 00:05:36,296
but you have to do
something about the pandas.
154
00:05:36,301 --> 00:05:37,241
- What?
155
00:05:37,244 --> 00:05:38,734
- It's shockin' what's
going on over there.
156
00:05:38,729 --> 00:05:40,629
There'll be none left
soon, poor little pandas,
157
00:05:40,625 --> 00:05:42,065
thrown out of their
homes just like we were
158
00:05:42,069 --> 00:05:43,179
during the Famine.
159
00:05:43,180 --> 00:05:44,170
- Right, I'll look into it for ya.
160
00:05:44,168 --> 00:05:45,448
- Not the red pandas now,
161
00:05:45,447 --> 00:05:47,547
they're just bastards.
162
00:05:47,548 --> 00:05:49,028
They can just die.
163
00:05:49,032 --> 00:05:50,222
- Right, right.
164
00:05:50,222 --> 00:05:52,572
- There are red pandas in
this town selling drugs.
165
00:05:52,569 --> 00:05:54,299
- Lovely stuff, lovely stuff.
166
00:05:54,299 --> 00:05:56,149
- And what do the guards
do about it, nothin'!
167
00:05:56,152 --> 00:05:58,092
Meanwhile young little
pandas have been attacked
168
00:05:58,092 --> 00:05:58,932
going to panda school.
169
00:05:58,925 --> 00:06:00,065
- Okay.
170
00:06:00,069 --> 00:06:01,879
- If a red panda breaks into my house,
171
00:06:01,875 --> 00:06:03,065
I'll fuckin' kill him.
172
00:06:03,067 --> 00:06:03,897
- Lovely stuff!
173
00:06:03,900 --> 00:06:04,800
Say hello to Jolene for me.
174
00:06:04,802 --> 00:06:06,972
Thanks, Tadhg.
- Good luck.
175
00:06:09,013 --> 00:06:11,123
- That went well!
176
00:06:11,124 --> 00:06:13,354
- What's all that shite about red pandas?!
177
00:06:13,352 --> 00:06:14,962
I was embarrassed there, Bridget!
178
00:06:14,957 --> 00:06:16,567
I knew it would be an
issue on the doorstep!
179
00:06:16,566 --> 00:06:18,286
Stay on top of things!
180
00:06:18,294 --> 00:06:21,134
- (softly) Sorry.
181
00:06:24,359 --> 00:06:26,999
- (through microphone)
Hello, my name is Bridget.
182
00:06:26,999 --> 00:06:29,139
This is Eamon, say something, Eamon.
183
00:06:29,144 --> 00:06:31,084
- (deadpan) No.
184
00:06:31,079 --> 00:06:33,259
- And we are looking for your vote,
185
00:06:33,258 --> 00:06:34,368
so vote for (squeals).
186
00:06:34,368 --> 00:06:36,638
Oh look, there's Garda Paul and Garda Ger.
187
00:06:36,638 --> 00:06:38,988
Hello, guards, hello,
say something, Eamon.
188
00:06:38,989 --> 00:06:40,139
Say something amazing.
189
00:06:40,142 --> 00:06:41,312
Say something.
190
00:06:42,613 --> 00:06:43,453
- Bud.
191
00:06:44,714 --> 00:06:45,874
- (together) Well!
192
00:06:45,866 --> 00:06:47,956
- You still writin' to that
bogey tail o' terrorist?
193
00:06:47,963 --> 00:06:49,653
- I am, and I'd appreciate
it if you didn't
194
00:06:49,650 --> 00:06:50,970
tell the whole town.
195
00:06:50,967 --> 00:06:52,537
- The one with the 'tache?
196
00:06:52,535 --> 00:06:53,895
- It's barely noticeable,
197
00:06:53,898 --> 00:06:55,338
and if you say that to me again
198
00:06:55,343 --> 00:06:56,793
you'll be sorry!
199
00:06:56,788 --> 00:06:58,228
- (mocking) Am I in trouble now?
200
00:06:58,226 --> 00:06:59,086
- Come on.
201
00:06:59,090 --> 00:07:00,040
- I'm in trouble, uh-oh.
202
00:07:00,038 --> 00:07:00,868
- Right, that's it, come on.
203
00:07:00,871 --> 00:07:01,701
- [Eamon] Go ahead, do it.
204
00:07:01,704 --> 00:07:03,874
(yelling)
205
00:07:10,790 --> 00:07:12,780
- Bridget, where do we keep the hacksaw?
206
00:07:12,777 --> 00:07:14,517
- Hello, Eamon.
207
00:07:14,519 --> 00:07:16,309
I'm Billy.
(dramatic music)
208
00:07:16,307 --> 00:07:17,137
People call me Billy the Builder.
209
00:07:17,140 --> 00:07:19,220
Come on over, take a pew.
210
00:07:22,189 --> 00:07:24,049
Here's a few quid for the pub later, huh?
211
00:07:24,051 --> 00:07:27,381
Now, Eamon, I've a bit of protected land
212
00:07:28,397 --> 00:07:29,947
that could do with a few hundred homes
213
00:07:29,946 --> 00:07:31,456
strewn about it.
214
00:07:31,463 --> 00:07:33,333
- Yeah, what's that got to do with me?
215
00:07:33,334 --> 00:07:34,924
- Say what you see.
216
00:07:37,258 --> 00:07:39,078
- An envelope, your arse.
217
00:07:39,076 --> 00:07:41,186
- No, not me arse.
218
00:07:41,192 --> 00:07:44,732
Look, what color is the envelope?
219
00:07:44,729 --> 00:07:45,559
- Fawn.
220
00:07:45,562 --> 00:07:46,442
- It's brown.
221
00:07:46,438 --> 00:07:48,428
It's a brown envelope
222
00:07:48,434 --> 00:07:50,914
and I put something in it
223
00:07:50,909 --> 00:07:52,899
and you put it in your...
224
00:07:52,904 --> 00:07:54,334
- Arse, no thank you!
225
00:07:54,331 --> 00:07:56,041
Keep your money, I'm not interested.
226
00:07:56,037 --> 00:07:56,867
- You're not getting it!
227
00:07:56,870 --> 00:07:58,560
I want planning permission!
228
00:07:58,557 --> 00:07:59,407
- I tell you one thing, though,
229
00:07:59,413 --> 00:08:01,653
if I get elected, I'll get
your planning permission.
230
00:08:01,652 --> 00:08:04,172
- Now we're talking, now we're talking.
231
00:08:04,172 --> 00:08:06,672
(disco music)
232
00:08:09,058 --> 00:08:10,558
- Ooh, here we go.
233
00:08:11,538 --> 00:08:14,788
- Forget the pounds, forget the pounds.
234
00:08:16,005 --> 00:08:16,895
- I'll tell you what I'll do.
235
00:08:16,902 --> 00:08:18,992
(cheers)
236
00:08:20,566 --> 00:08:21,746
On my first day after being elected...
237
00:08:21,745 --> 00:08:23,825
(cheers)
238
00:08:24,918 --> 00:08:25,888
I haven't said anything yet.
239
00:08:25,894 --> 00:08:27,984
(cheers)
240
00:08:30,053 --> 00:08:30,893
You're shoutin' at nothing!
241
00:08:30,886 --> 00:08:31,716
- Nothing!
242
00:08:31,719 --> 00:08:33,949
(cheers)
243
00:08:33,954 --> 00:08:35,264
- I, I, shut up!
244
00:08:35,255 --> 00:08:37,835
Just shut up, shut up, shut up!
245
00:08:38,881 --> 00:08:40,231
On my first day I'll go up to Dublin
246
00:08:40,225 --> 00:08:41,235
and you know what I'll tell them?
247
00:08:41,241 --> 00:08:45,161
(speaks in thick Irish accent)
248
00:08:48,956 --> 00:08:50,136
(quietly) Now cheer, now cheer.
249
00:08:50,138 --> 00:08:51,558
(half-hearted cheers)
250
00:08:51,562 --> 00:08:52,662
Get back in the bus!
251
00:08:52,660 --> 00:08:54,780
- Okay, that should be
everything I need there.
252
00:08:54,778 --> 00:08:55,628
Thank you.
253
00:08:55,632 --> 00:08:56,982
- He's actually promised us front page
254
00:08:56,978 --> 00:08:58,768
of the school newspaper.
255
00:08:58,768 --> 00:09:01,368
- Don't trust journalists.
256
00:09:01,368 --> 00:09:04,288
(electronic music)
257
00:09:05,852 --> 00:09:09,772
(journalists asking for Eamon)
258
00:09:11,828 --> 00:09:12,858
- Mick?
259
00:09:12,861 --> 00:09:14,371
- Mick Brady from Dark Times.
260
00:09:14,366 --> 00:09:15,976
Eamon, do you have a catchy slogan
261
00:09:15,977 --> 00:09:17,387
for your campaign?
262
00:09:17,389 --> 00:09:19,629
- I do, yeah, it's "Feck
off, I'm doing me best"
263
00:09:19,629 --> 00:09:21,699
which is at least 50 percent true.
264
00:09:21,702 --> 00:09:23,612
(journalists asking for Eamon)
265
00:09:23,612 --> 00:09:25,862
- You there, Cybil Shepherd.
266
00:09:25,855 --> 00:09:28,735
- Linda Ballard, Rotten Mullen Roarer.
267
00:09:28,736 --> 00:09:31,696
Eamon, why should someone vote for you?
268
00:09:31,701 --> 00:09:33,251
- That's a very good question, Linda,
269
00:09:33,245 --> 00:09:37,555
and I'd like to answer
that question by sayin',
270
00:09:37,562 --> 00:09:39,852
isn't that a lovely bit of ham now?
271
00:09:39,850 --> 00:09:40,680
Isn't that lovely?
272
00:09:40,683 --> 00:09:41,523
(journalists ooh and aah)
273
00:09:41,516 --> 00:09:42,346
- You.
274
00:09:42,349 --> 00:09:44,749
- Brenda Fitz, Ruscray Reporter.
275
00:09:44,745 --> 00:09:46,655
- Thought you were with
the Toast Telegraph?
276
00:09:46,660 --> 00:09:47,970
- Oh I was, but they let me go
277
00:09:47,966 --> 00:09:51,666
after my taking the "gie"
out of camogie story.
278
00:09:51,666 --> 00:09:53,486
On that note, Eamon, what are your views
279
00:09:53,494 --> 00:09:55,404
on women's issues?
280
00:09:55,403 --> 00:09:57,563
(laughs)
281
00:09:57,558 --> 00:09:59,478
- I tell you what, when Bridget turns into
282
00:09:59,475 --> 00:10:01,345
the devil incarnate and she starts cryin'
283
00:10:01,347 --> 00:10:02,447
I tell her to shut up.
284
00:10:02,445 --> 00:10:04,065
(laughs)
285
00:10:04,072 --> 00:10:05,502
- [Bridget] That's a
very old-fashioned way
286
00:10:05,495 --> 00:10:07,805
of thinkin' about
things, though, isn't it?
287
00:10:07,814 --> 00:10:08,844
- Shut up, what would you know
288
00:10:08,838 --> 00:10:09,828
about women's issues?
289
00:10:09,828 --> 00:10:11,408
- I'm a woman, Eamon.
290
00:10:11,414 --> 00:10:12,474
What was that with the
whole "Brenda Fritz,
291
00:10:12,472 --> 00:10:15,242
I thought you were with the
Toast Telegraph" shite talkin'?
292
00:10:15,237 --> 00:10:17,427
- Can a man not flirt
with a lady journalist
293
00:10:17,434 --> 00:10:19,154
in the comfort of his
own home without his wife
294
00:10:19,146 --> 00:10:20,896
ruining it on him?
295
00:10:20,899 --> 00:10:22,399
- This is all my idea!
296
00:10:22,402 --> 00:10:23,262
- No it's not!
297
00:10:23,256 --> 00:10:24,846
I'm me own man, I'm me own man.
298
00:10:24,848 --> 00:10:26,638
- Good man, Eamon, good man.
299
00:10:26,637 --> 00:10:28,587
- Listen up, everyone!
300
00:10:28,589 --> 00:10:31,069
I am no longer Eamon's campaign manager.
301
00:10:31,069 --> 00:10:32,369
- You never were anyway.
302
00:10:32,371 --> 00:10:33,201
- I was.
303
00:10:33,204 --> 00:10:34,534
- No you weren't.
304
00:10:34,530 --> 00:10:35,870
- No, I was.
305
00:10:35,871 --> 00:10:36,731
- No you weren't.
306
00:10:36,727 --> 00:10:37,867
- I think you'll find it doesn't matter
307
00:10:37,867 --> 00:10:38,697
because I'm not anymore.
308
00:10:38,700 --> 00:10:39,530
- I think you'll find it doesn't matter
309
00:10:39,534 --> 00:10:40,474
because you weren't in
the first place anyway.
310
00:10:40,465 --> 00:10:41,395
- I was, Eamon!
311
00:10:41,397 --> 00:10:42,227
- You weren't.
312
00:10:42,230 --> 00:10:45,500
- It doesn't matter anyway because...
313
00:10:45,502 --> 00:10:47,942
I'm going to run myself!
314
00:10:47,940 --> 00:10:51,880
(electronic music sting)
315
00:10:51,884 --> 00:10:55,054
(electronic music sting)
316
00:10:55,054 --> 00:10:57,954
That's right, I'm going
to run in the election
317
00:10:57,947 --> 00:10:59,407
against Eamon.
318
00:10:59,413 --> 00:11:01,503
(laughs)
319
00:11:04,014 --> 00:11:06,184
- Are you havin' a stroke?
320
00:11:09,144 --> 00:11:10,814
- You'll see, you'll all see.
321
00:11:10,814 --> 00:11:14,114
One day this country will
have a woman president
322
00:11:14,112 --> 00:11:16,472
and he'll be only delighted
that I was barking
323
00:11:16,474 --> 00:11:18,354
up the wrong mold.
324
00:11:18,347 --> 00:11:20,947
I made that ham, I'm takin' that ham.
325
00:11:20,951 --> 00:11:22,381
- Take the ham.
326
00:11:22,378 --> 00:11:24,248
(laughs)
327
00:11:24,253 --> 00:11:26,423
- Shite, what have I done?
328
00:11:30,098 --> 00:11:31,438
- This isn't good.
329
00:11:31,440 --> 00:11:32,900
Bridget running against you.
330
00:11:32,901 --> 00:11:36,511
- Billy, who's going to vote for a woman?
331
00:11:36,510 --> 00:11:37,690
(laughs)
332
00:11:37,686 --> 00:11:40,016
Come on now, think about it.
333
00:11:42,758 --> 00:11:43,808
Oh I'll vote for the woman!
334
00:11:43,812 --> 00:11:46,582
(laughs)
335
00:11:46,579 --> 00:11:47,549
(coughs)
336
00:11:47,553 --> 00:11:48,733
Like, cop on, seriously.
337
00:11:48,729 --> 00:11:49,979
No, no, no, no.
338
00:11:51,174 --> 00:11:53,214
(door slams)
339
00:11:53,211 --> 00:11:54,271
- Team Bridget.
340
00:11:54,266 --> 00:11:56,616
If he is going to do nothing,
341
00:11:56,619 --> 00:11:58,779
starting from now so am I.
342
00:11:58,776 --> 00:12:02,066
- Nothing, no washing, no cleaning?
343
00:12:02,067 --> 00:12:03,687
- Nothing.
344
00:12:03,693 --> 00:12:04,873
- No, Bridget!
345
00:12:04,872 --> 00:12:05,712
- I can and I will.
346
00:12:05,705 --> 00:12:07,395
(pounds fist)
347
00:12:07,400 --> 00:12:08,900
This is the 1980s!
348
00:12:10,379 --> 00:12:12,949
Now it could take days,
it could take weeks,
349
00:12:12,945 --> 00:12:15,175
but by sheer determination
and the grace of God,
350
00:12:15,184 --> 00:12:17,174
I know I can do it.
351
00:12:17,173 --> 00:12:18,013
Okay.
352
00:12:20,098 --> 00:12:22,948
Put down your cups and don't touch them,
353
00:12:22,948 --> 00:12:24,618
put them down, down!
354
00:12:26,123 --> 00:12:27,833
Who's going to pick them up?
355
00:12:27,829 --> 00:12:28,659
Not me!
356
00:12:28,662 --> 00:12:30,752
(laughs)
357
00:12:35,658 --> 00:12:37,198
Too much too soon, Noreen.
358
00:12:37,199 --> 00:12:38,029
Too soon.
359
00:12:39,725 --> 00:12:42,435
Now to guarantee our
rightful place as winners
360
00:12:42,437 --> 00:12:45,157
in this election, we've got to figure out
361
00:12:45,158 --> 00:12:48,158
what we're going to do with my hair.
362
00:12:49,543 --> 00:12:51,333
- Oh, I know, I know.
363
00:12:51,328 --> 00:12:52,578
Choppy-changey.
364
00:12:54,425 --> 00:12:56,415
- Gold star, Father.
365
00:12:56,418 --> 00:12:58,898
(laughs)
366
00:12:58,903 --> 00:13:01,643
(coughs)
367
00:13:01,636 --> 00:13:03,386
- Oh yeah, fantastic.
368
00:13:05,403 --> 00:13:06,523
- Why are we laughin' again?
369
00:13:06,517 --> 00:13:08,017
- We were imagining votin' for a woman.
370
00:13:08,020 --> 00:13:09,410
- Oh yes.
371
00:13:09,407 --> 00:13:10,907
(laughs)
372
00:13:10,911 --> 00:13:11,771
(grim music)
373
00:13:11,767 --> 00:13:12,597
Right.
374
00:13:14,076 --> 00:13:17,286
Don't let me down here, Eamon.
375
00:13:17,294 --> 00:13:18,804
- Will you relax?
376
00:13:18,798 --> 00:13:19,898
We've everything under control,
377
00:13:19,899 --> 00:13:21,199
don't be frightened.
378
00:13:21,204 --> 00:13:22,274
- Yes.
379
00:13:22,266 --> 00:13:23,196
What?
380
00:13:23,199 --> 00:13:25,279
(grunts)
381
00:13:29,515 --> 00:13:31,335
- You heard him, Frank.
382
00:13:31,344 --> 00:13:33,414
It's a shite fight now.
383
00:13:33,414 --> 00:13:37,364
The inches we need are
everywhere around me.
384
00:13:37,359 --> 00:13:39,359
Now do it, Frank, do it.
385
00:13:40,743 --> 00:13:44,333
(imaginary cheers)
386
00:13:44,326 --> 00:13:46,066
Come on, come on.
387
00:13:46,074 --> 00:13:47,614
Come on, come on.
388
00:13:47,608 --> 00:13:49,398
Jesus, Frank!
389
00:13:49,395 --> 00:13:50,775
I don't get officially elected until
390
00:13:50,776 --> 00:13:52,276
you can lift me off the ground!
391
00:13:52,281 --> 00:13:53,701
- I'm tryin' me best, Eamon.
392
00:13:53,703 --> 00:13:55,983
- Lift from the knees.
393
00:13:55,978 --> 00:13:57,808
Lift from the knees.
394
00:13:57,807 --> 00:14:00,167
No, from your knees!
395
00:14:00,167 --> 00:14:01,917
Lift from your knees!
396
00:14:03,511 --> 00:14:04,341
- What are you doing?
397
00:14:04,344 --> 00:14:05,394
- I'm just, from my knees.
398
00:14:05,394 --> 00:14:06,934
- Your knees aren't running
for election, Frank,
399
00:14:06,933 --> 00:14:07,773
are they?
400
00:14:07,766 --> 00:14:08,996
- I'm confused, Eamon.
401
00:14:09,001 --> 00:14:10,261
- What are you doing?!
402
00:14:10,261 --> 00:14:11,761
Lift from your knees!
403
00:14:11,758 --> 00:14:13,928
(mutters)
404
00:14:15,768 --> 00:14:16,898
- Oh, Jesus Christ.
405
00:14:16,904 --> 00:14:19,234
Frank, lift from your knees.
406
00:14:19,225 --> 00:14:20,305
This is shit!
407
00:14:30,274 --> 00:14:31,454
How long does a man have
to wait for his dinner
408
00:14:31,452 --> 00:14:32,392
around here?
409
00:14:32,385 --> 00:14:33,755
If you can't deliver the dinner,
410
00:14:33,763 --> 00:14:35,683
then it's the people,
that's us by the way,
411
00:14:35,678 --> 00:14:36,648
who suffer.
412
00:14:36,652 --> 00:14:38,482
You know, it's typical,
it's typical of how you
413
00:14:38,483 --> 00:14:40,233
deal with the issues.
414
00:14:42,471 --> 00:14:44,461
- Maybe if somebody got off their fat arse
415
00:14:44,462 --> 00:14:47,882
and do something, the issues will change.
416
00:14:48,749 --> 00:14:51,549
- These potatoes are soggy and stale
417
00:14:51,551 --> 00:14:54,231
like the policies of your political party,
418
00:14:54,232 --> 00:14:56,232
they're abject and limp.
419
00:14:57,194 --> 00:14:58,584
- Well the only thing you can muster up
420
00:14:58,577 --> 00:14:59,407
is limp.
421
00:14:59,410 --> 00:15:00,850
- Too far, that's too far!
422
00:15:00,854 --> 00:15:01,694
- Too far?
423
00:15:01,687 --> 00:15:02,597
Oh that's a shame Eamon,
424
00:15:02,601 --> 00:15:05,021
because it's not loud enough!
425
00:15:07,237 --> 00:15:09,597
- Why don't you go and have a good cry
426
00:15:09,595 --> 00:15:11,255
for yourself?
427
00:15:11,262 --> 00:15:12,982
- Over your penis!
428
00:15:12,975 --> 00:15:13,805
See, look?
429
00:15:13,808 --> 00:15:15,388
You made me say it!
430
00:15:18,172 --> 00:15:19,922
Red, come over this side of the house
431
00:15:19,924 --> 00:15:21,094
with your mom.
432
00:15:22,771 --> 00:15:24,121
- The middle one.
433
00:15:24,115 --> 00:15:24,945
Come over to this side of the house
434
00:15:24,948 --> 00:15:26,368
with your father.
435
00:15:27,606 --> 00:15:28,776
- Small girl with the ponytail.
436
00:15:28,782 --> 00:15:32,312
Come over this side with your mom.
437
00:15:32,314 --> 00:15:33,664
- Timmy, come over to
this side of the house
438
00:15:33,655 --> 00:15:34,785
with your father.
439
00:15:34,791 --> 00:15:36,581
- We don't have a Timmy.
440
00:15:36,582 --> 00:15:37,422
- What's your name?
441
00:15:37,415 --> 00:15:38,245
- Paddy.
442
00:15:38,248 --> 00:15:39,078
- Close enough.
443
00:15:39,081 --> 00:15:40,611
Paddy, if you come to
this side of the house
444
00:15:40,609 --> 00:15:43,129
with your father, I'll spend time with ya.
445
00:15:43,131 --> 00:15:45,361
- Don't make promises you can't keep.
446
00:15:45,364 --> 00:15:47,154
Now, whoever likes mommy more,
447
00:15:47,154 --> 00:15:49,904
come over this side of the hosue.
448
00:15:51,714 --> 00:15:54,804
(church choir sings)
449
00:15:54,804 --> 00:15:55,824
- [Eamon] You see, you might have some
450
00:15:55,818 --> 00:15:56,958
emotional bond with these kids that
451
00:15:56,955 --> 00:15:58,865
isn't based on fear and you might have won
452
00:15:58,868 --> 00:16:00,458
over some of the voters with your
453
00:16:00,456 --> 00:16:02,606
well thought-out practical
policies that can be
454
00:16:02,611 --> 00:16:03,961
implemented quickly.
455
00:16:03,957 --> 00:16:05,087
- How dare you?
456
00:16:05,086 --> 00:16:06,616
We have none of those.
457
00:16:06,623 --> 00:16:08,253
- You're still not going to win.
458
00:16:08,247 --> 00:16:09,267
- Oh, and why is that?
459
00:16:09,265 --> 00:16:10,405
- Because I have a song
460
00:16:10,410 --> 00:16:11,710
and Frank's going to make a video
461
00:16:11,711 --> 00:16:12,611
and it's going to be brilliant,
462
00:16:12,606 --> 00:16:13,816
it's going to be like...
463
00:16:13,824 --> 00:16:17,644
(acoustic guitar plays)
464
00:16:17,640 --> 00:16:19,640
♫ Are you looking for a man
465
00:16:19,636 --> 00:16:21,876
♫ To get you a medical card?
466
00:16:21,877 --> 00:16:23,897
♫ Are you looking for a man
467
00:16:23,904 --> 00:16:26,184
♫ Who doesn't work too hard?
468
00:16:26,183 --> 00:16:28,133
♫ Are you looking for a man
469
00:16:28,132 --> 00:16:30,452
♫ To fill in the old potholes?
470
00:16:30,446 --> 00:16:32,556
♫ Well, he's your man, says your man,
471
00:16:32,557 --> 00:16:34,827
♫ I'm your manny-man.
472
00:16:34,826 --> 00:16:36,776
♫ Are you looking for a man
473
00:16:36,777 --> 00:16:38,967
♫ To make no big decisions?
474
00:16:38,973 --> 00:16:40,923
♫ Are you looking for a man
475
00:16:40,924 --> 00:16:43,454
♫ To get you planning permissions?
476
00:16:43,447 --> 00:16:45,277
♫ Are you looking for a man
477
00:16:45,281 --> 00:16:47,601
♫ Who loves the baby kissin'?
478
00:16:47,596 --> 00:16:49,746
♫ Well, he's your man, says your man,
479
00:16:49,749 --> 00:16:51,979
♫ I'm your manny-man.
480
00:16:51,983 --> 00:16:53,773
♫ Are you looking for a man
481
00:16:53,772 --> 00:16:56,102
♫ Who thinks Europe's a load of shite?
482
00:16:56,099 --> 00:16:58,049
♫ Are you looking for a man
483
00:16:58,046 --> 00:17:00,396
♫ To go out with on a Saturday night?
484
00:17:00,400 --> 00:17:02,470
♫ Are you looking for a man
485
00:17:02,468 --> 00:17:04,828
♫ Who's well-able to fight?
486
00:17:04,826 --> 00:17:06,816
♫ Well, he's your man, says your man,
487
00:17:06,817 --> 00:17:09,977
♫ I'm your manny-man.
488
00:17:10,889 --> 00:17:12,969
(cheers)
489
00:17:14,911 --> 00:17:16,541
- Why would I be in it, you dope?
490
00:17:16,537 --> 00:17:17,957
- I can cut you out of it.
491
00:17:17,958 --> 00:17:20,678
(tape rewinds)
492
00:17:20,677 --> 00:17:22,217
There, just did.
493
00:17:22,220 --> 00:17:25,720
- Oh, oh, well, two can play at that game.
494
00:17:33,192 --> 00:17:36,852
Here in my hand lies peace in our time
495
00:17:36,854 --> 00:17:39,024
or my political broadcast.
496
00:17:43,322 --> 00:17:47,412
(generic electronic synth music)
497
00:17:53,608 --> 00:17:55,928
Hello, I'm Bridget.
498
00:17:55,930 --> 00:17:59,100
This is the mess that my husband left.
499
00:18:02,924 --> 00:18:05,854
(whispers)
500
00:18:05,852 --> 00:18:08,272
Hello, it's me Bridget again.
501
00:18:09,349 --> 00:18:10,649
Here in my bedroom.
502
00:18:10,651 --> 00:18:12,881
It's 12 at night and my husband
503
00:18:12,884 --> 00:18:15,134
isn't home to keep us safe.
504
00:18:18,218 --> 00:18:21,718
It's okay, don't worry, I know what to do.
505
00:18:24,103 --> 00:18:26,103
I'll call the guards.
506
00:18:26,098 --> 00:18:27,768
But no one is there!
507
00:18:31,050 --> 00:18:31,880
Why?
508
00:18:38,252 --> 00:18:40,812
Because the man who made this mess
509
00:18:40,810 --> 00:18:42,760
and is not here to protect his family
510
00:18:42,763 --> 00:18:47,163
represents the party
that ruined this country.
511
00:18:47,157 --> 00:18:49,877
And he's out drinking with the guards.
512
00:18:49,881 --> 00:18:51,381
Hi, Paul! Hi, Ger!
513
00:18:52,934 --> 00:18:54,034
This is Tadhg.
514
00:18:54,027 --> 00:18:56,257
Tadhg is worried about
our ailing medical system.
515
00:18:56,260 --> 00:18:57,770
Isn't that right, Tadhg?
516
00:18:57,767 --> 00:18:59,757
- It's them bastard red pandas.
517
00:18:59,759 --> 00:19:01,629
- That's right, it's all Eamon's fault.
518
00:19:01,628 --> 00:19:05,798
(whispers) Shut up, Tadhg, go back inside.
519
00:19:08,505 --> 00:19:09,965
So when you vote, remember,
520
00:19:09,968 --> 00:19:11,468
it's all Eamon's fault.
521
00:19:11,470 --> 00:19:13,420
(camera snaps)
522
00:19:13,422 --> 00:19:15,712
And Bridget always cleans up the mess.
523
00:19:15,705 --> 00:19:17,495
(camera snaps)
524
00:19:17,504 --> 00:19:20,094
So vote Bridget, because
I always clean up the mess
525
00:19:20,085 --> 00:19:22,275
and I make an amazing
roast chicken dinner.
526
00:19:22,281 --> 00:19:24,271
(camera snaps)
527
00:19:24,272 --> 00:19:27,732
With carrots and spuds and
Homestead pack of gravy
528
00:19:27,725 --> 00:19:28,975
and everything.
529
00:19:29,924 --> 00:19:31,964
(camera snaps)
530
00:19:31,956 --> 00:19:34,206
(applauds)
531
00:19:37,001 --> 00:19:38,061
- (laughs) Too late.
532
00:19:38,058 --> 00:19:39,478
My party political broadcast is
533
00:19:39,477 --> 00:19:40,777
going to ruin you.
534
00:19:40,780 --> 00:19:41,760
- Do you really think
people are going to be
535
00:19:41,757 --> 00:19:43,757
impressed by that shite?
536
00:19:45,179 --> 00:19:49,939
- (snorts) Look around you, dope.
537
00:19:49,939 --> 00:19:53,679
- Who here wants planning permission?
538
00:19:53,680 --> 00:19:54,810
- I have a bladder infection.
539
00:19:54,807 --> 00:19:56,097
- You get a planning permission!
540
00:19:56,103 --> 00:19:57,043
(squeals and cheers)
541
00:19:57,039 --> 00:19:58,579
You get a planning permission!
542
00:19:58,581 --> 00:20:00,091
You get a planning permission!
543
00:20:00,089 --> 00:20:02,699
You get a planning permission!
544
00:20:02,696 --> 00:20:04,726
Yours is subject to approval.
545
00:20:04,729 --> 00:20:06,229
Do you want planning permission?
546
00:20:06,234 --> 00:20:07,994
- I want you out of here.
547
00:20:07,985 --> 00:20:08,915
(dramatic piano music)
548
00:20:08,923 --> 00:20:11,003
- You see, people don't
care about society.
549
00:20:10,995 --> 00:20:12,865
They just care about themselves.
550
00:20:12,865 --> 00:20:14,075
It cost me nothing to sell them
551
00:20:14,083 --> 00:20:16,073
a whole bucket of hope.
552
00:20:16,072 --> 00:20:17,372
- Sorry, are you talking to me?
553
00:20:17,374 --> 00:20:19,574
- No, Bridget, I think
he was talking to me.
554
00:20:19,565 --> 00:20:20,395
- Are you sure?
555
00:20:20,398 --> 00:20:21,588
Because I think it was
me he was talking to.
556
00:20:21,592 --> 00:20:23,502
- Can a man not verbalize
his own self-conscious
557
00:20:23,502 --> 00:20:26,352
in his home anymore without
everybody ruining it on him?!
558
00:20:26,352 --> 00:20:27,602
Come on, Frank.
559
00:20:35,702 --> 00:20:37,372
- What are you wearing?
560
00:20:37,373 --> 00:20:38,963
It's the big debate.
561
00:20:38,958 --> 00:20:39,788
- I've no clean clothes left,
562
00:20:39,791 --> 00:20:42,331
I had to borrow it off Frank.
563
00:20:42,327 --> 00:20:46,017
- Just make sure to hit
these points, Eamon, okay?
564
00:20:46,022 --> 00:20:46,862
- Cut the nursing home,
565
00:20:46,855 --> 00:20:47,685
get rid of the old folks,
566
00:20:47,688 --> 00:20:48,518
blah blah blah.
567
00:20:48,521 --> 00:20:50,091
Yeah, yeah, I get it, I get it.
568
00:20:50,087 --> 00:20:51,917
- Good man, you're on.
569
00:20:53,711 --> 00:20:56,961
(news broadcast music)
570
00:20:57,900 --> 00:21:00,020
- You're listening to the biggest debate
571
00:21:00,021 --> 00:21:01,811
on local FM.
572
00:21:01,809 --> 00:21:04,249
Brought to you by Slurry In A Hurry
573
00:21:04,245 --> 00:21:07,745
for all your slurry needs in a hurry.
574
00:21:07,749 --> 00:21:10,309
Tonight we'll be listening to three of
575
00:21:10,310 --> 00:21:12,590
the candidates in the local election.
576
00:21:12,587 --> 00:21:16,487
Eamon, Jimmy Tar McAdam, and Bridget.
577
00:21:16,492 --> 00:21:19,662
First, to you Eamon, why would anybody
578
00:21:20,963 --> 00:21:22,393
vote for you?
579
00:21:22,385 --> 00:21:24,125
- Uh, that's a very good question.
580
00:21:24,134 --> 00:21:25,524
I would like to answer
that question by saying
581
00:21:25,519 --> 00:21:26,939
(yells) I did not interrupt you!
582
00:21:26,941 --> 00:21:27,771
- What?
583
00:21:27,774 --> 00:21:28,704
I didn't interrupt you.
584
00:21:28,695 --> 00:21:30,115
- Just did, you just interrupted me there.
585
00:21:30,121 --> 00:21:30,981
- Sorry, but...
586
00:21:30,975 --> 00:21:32,185
- Don't you interrupt me!
587
00:21:32,194 --> 00:21:33,744
- I didn't interrupt you!
588
00:21:33,739 --> 00:21:34,669
- [Eamon] Excuse me, Phil,
589
00:21:34,672 --> 00:21:36,302
I was the first person to
say I did not interrupt
590
00:21:36,299 --> 00:21:39,099
you, surely I should be
the last person to say it.
591
00:21:39,100 --> 00:21:40,320
- You interrupted yourself.
592
00:21:40,318 --> 00:21:41,148
- If I interrupted myself,
593
00:21:41,151 --> 00:21:42,351
I would have said, "Stop
interrupting myself!"
594
00:21:42,349 --> 00:21:43,319
Wouldn't I?
595
00:21:43,324 --> 00:21:44,724
- But you did interrupt me.
596
00:21:44,723 --> 00:21:45,563
- I didn't interrupt you.
597
00:21:45,556 --> 00:21:46,846
- I did interrupt you,
598
00:21:46,848 --> 00:21:47,828
but he interrupted me first.
599
00:21:47,829 --> 00:21:48,889
- [Eamon] Oh, that's
typical of you, isn't it?
600
00:21:48,886 --> 00:21:50,996
Blaming myself for interrupting myself.
601
00:21:51,000 --> 00:21:51,830
Do you know what?
602
00:21:51,833 --> 00:21:53,523
I should have started
with "Let me finish."
603
00:21:53,520 --> 00:21:54,740
- [Phil] Okay, okay, okay.
604
00:21:54,737 --> 00:21:56,767
Can I interrupt and say if we keep
605
00:21:56,766 --> 00:21:59,606
interrupting each other,
then the interrupting
606
00:21:59,612 --> 00:22:01,812
will take over and there'll be no debate?
607
00:22:01,810 --> 00:22:04,890
Eamon, why would anyone vote for you?
608
00:22:06,205 --> 00:22:09,745
- Personally, Phil, I am
going to do nothing myself.
609
00:22:09,747 --> 00:22:12,997
However, I want to lay the foundations.
610
00:22:13,002 --> 00:22:15,762
I want to build the blocks
and I want to put in
611
00:22:15,763 --> 00:22:18,643
the windows into houses, moving forward,
612
00:22:18,643 --> 00:22:20,593
that will look out upon other houses
613
00:22:20,590 --> 00:22:22,340
within this community.
614
00:22:22,340 --> 00:22:23,520
- Thank you, Eamon.
615
00:22:23,522 --> 00:22:25,072
Why would anyone vote for you, Jimmy?
616
00:22:25,066 --> 00:22:26,236
- Thank you, Phil.
617
00:22:26,242 --> 00:22:29,372
Unlike the other candidates,
I would like to talk
618
00:22:29,374 --> 00:22:33,084
about the serious issues like
the Loop-de-Loop ice pop.
619
00:22:33,077 --> 00:22:35,327
I mean, what's going on
there, know what I mean?!
620
00:22:35,326 --> 00:22:37,606
It's green at the bottom,
yellow in the middle,
621
00:22:37,605 --> 00:22:39,065
and chocolate on top.
622
00:22:39,065 --> 00:22:41,585
I mean, you couldn't
make it up, could you?
623
00:22:41,592 --> 00:22:44,012
- [Phil] I love a
Loop-de-Loop, but I also like
624
00:22:44,009 --> 00:22:44,949
a Wibbly Wobbly Wonder.
625
00:22:44,948 --> 00:22:46,128
Which one do you prefer?
626
00:22:46,130 --> 00:22:48,320
Get involved in the
debate, send your answers
627
00:22:48,324 --> 00:22:50,444
on a postcard to Fill
Her Up and we'll read out
628
00:22:50,440 --> 00:22:53,130
your answers on next week's show.
629
00:22:53,128 --> 00:22:54,388
- Sorry, Phil, can I just come in there
630
00:22:54,385 --> 00:22:57,105
on the whole Wibbly Wobbly
Wonder and Loop-de-Loop
631
00:22:57,106 --> 00:22:57,956
debate here?
632
00:22:57,963 --> 00:22:59,313
- Yes, yes, of course.
633
00:22:59,311 --> 00:23:00,941
- Jimmy does have a valid point,
634
00:23:00,936 --> 00:23:03,046
but there is a beautiful
green patch of land
635
00:23:03,048 --> 00:23:05,608
outside of this town
with a nursing home on it
636
00:23:05,606 --> 00:23:09,616
that's full of sick, smelly older people.
637
00:23:09,624 --> 00:23:11,664
As a community moving forward,
638
00:23:11,656 --> 00:23:13,606
would we be not better
639
00:23:13,608 --> 00:23:15,938
knocking that and putting up
640
00:23:17,508 --> 00:23:20,748
80 to 100 three-bedroom
semi-detached houses
641
00:23:20,753 --> 00:23:24,343
with a big enough
backyard for a small shed
642
00:23:25,341 --> 00:23:27,831
and a downstairs toilet?
643
00:23:27,825 --> 00:23:30,715
- But where would the elderly patients go?
644
00:23:30,715 --> 00:23:34,365
- But where would the elderly patients go?
645
00:23:34,369 --> 00:23:37,009
Where would the elderly patients go?
646
00:23:37,011 --> 00:23:38,071
Exactly, where you are going to put
647
00:23:38,070 --> 00:23:39,700
all the elderly patients?!
648
00:23:39,700 --> 00:23:41,210
- What, it's not my problem.
649
00:23:41,205 --> 00:23:42,625
- Oh, typical, it's not your problem.
650
00:23:42,628 --> 00:23:44,538
The same way as you cooked
raw chicken last week,
651
00:23:44,541 --> 00:23:45,681
wasn't your problem.
652
00:23:45,677 --> 00:23:47,957
Or the same way she puts
her dried out knickers
653
00:23:47,956 --> 00:23:50,676
on all the radiators in the
house isn't your problem.
654
00:23:50,683 --> 00:23:51,783
- Oh, and what about you?
655
00:23:51,781 --> 00:23:53,531
(mimics crying) Crying every time you hear
656
00:23:53,528 --> 00:23:55,348
Foster and Allen's Old Flames.
657
00:23:55,354 --> 00:23:57,194
- I refuterate that
statement and I want it
658
00:23:57,186 --> 00:23:59,006
stricken from the record.
659
00:23:59,012 --> 00:24:00,362
It's not true.
660
00:24:00,359 --> 00:24:01,819
(starts singing Old Flames)
661
00:24:01,820 --> 00:24:03,730
(cries)
662
00:24:03,732 --> 00:24:06,132
You've gone too far now.
663
00:24:06,126 --> 00:24:10,206
I saw her buying drugs
off a red panda last week.
664
00:24:12,108 --> 00:24:16,048
- Here are the results of the first count.
665
00:24:16,048 --> 00:24:17,628
Eamon, eight votes.
666
00:24:18,816 --> 00:24:21,736
- Not now, Frank, not now.
667
00:24:21,737 --> 00:24:25,567
- Women's Party for
Women's Things, two votes.
668
00:24:27,182 --> 00:24:29,182
- I knew I should have voted for myself.
669
00:24:29,175 --> 00:24:32,335
- Jimmy Tar McAdam, Provisional Party,
670
00:24:33,685 --> 00:24:34,685
seven votes.
671
00:24:35,844 --> 00:24:36,784
- That means I...
672
00:24:36,783 --> 00:24:38,203
- Tadhg Finnissy.
673
00:24:39,466 --> 00:24:41,216
Anti-Red Panda Party.
674
00:24:42,795 --> 00:24:43,625
47,963.
675
00:24:47,152 --> 00:24:49,242
(cheers)
676
00:24:52,801 --> 00:24:56,971
- Oh, now you're lifting
from your knees, Frank?!
677
00:24:57,021 --> 00:25:01,571
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