Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:00,354 --> 00:00:01,854
- [Larry] On the line we have Eamon,
2
00:00:01,850 --> 00:00:03,110
Eamon, are you ready?
3
00:00:03,113 --> 00:00:04,463
- I was born ready, Larry, but I was
4
00:00:04,458 --> 00:00:05,688
born in Portlaoise but...
5
00:00:05,692 --> 00:00:09,572
- [Larry] Okay, let's
go, your time starts now.
6
00:00:09,574 --> 00:00:12,874
The blue what is a type of bird?
7
00:00:12,874 --> 00:00:13,844
- Lesbian.
8
00:00:13,838 --> 00:00:15,328
- [Larry] No, it's a tit.
9
00:00:15,326 --> 00:00:17,906
How many inches in half a foot?
10
00:00:19,476 --> 00:00:21,276
- Micky, sorry, penis.
11
00:00:21,275 --> 00:00:22,925
- [Larry] No, it's six.
12
00:00:22,933 --> 00:00:26,943
Christopher Reeve plays what superhero?
13
00:00:26,944 --> 00:00:27,874
- The elephant man.
14
00:00:27,869 --> 00:00:29,689
- [Larry] No, it's Superman.
15
00:00:29,691 --> 00:00:31,401
The Everly Brothers had a hit with
16
00:00:31,399 --> 00:00:33,729
I'll Do My what In The Rain?
17
00:00:35,320 --> 00:00:36,640
- Bridget's period.
18
00:00:36,638 --> 00:00:38,388
- [Larry] No, crying.
19
00:00:38,392 --> 00:00:40,592
What is the Irish name for Edward?
20
00:00:40,590 --> 00:00:41,420
- You.
21
00:00:41,423 --> 00:00:42,433
- Hugh.
22
00:00:42,426 --> 00:00:43,876
- [Larry] No, it's Eamon.
23
00:00:43,881 --> 00:00:47,131
What saint has a cross named after her?
24
00:00:48,584 --> 00:00:49,634
- Bridget!
25
00:00:49,627 --> 00:00:50,457
- [Larry] Correct.
26
00:00:50,460 --> 00:00:51,490
And that's all we have time for.
27
00:00:51,490 --> 00:00:52,620
You scored one.
28
00:00:52,618 --> 00:00:53,948
They just didn't suit you today.
29
00:00:53,952 --> 00:00:57,392
- No they never fuckin' suit you, do they?
30
00:00:57,390 --> 00:01:00,310
You're the stupidest person I know.
31
00:01:03,314 --> 00:01:05,904
(upbeat music)
32
00:01:23,910 --> 00:01:25,580
- I don't see any difference Eamon,
33
00:01:25,583 --> 00:01:27,643
can you explain it to
me, just one more time.
34
00:01:27,638 --> 00:01:29,168
- Bridget, I'm asleep.
35
00:01:29,172 --> 00:01:31,022
- You can't, a barbecue or whatever
36
00:01:31,019 --> 00:01:33,349
you call it, it's a fry outside.
37
00:01:33,350 --> 00:01:34,180
- Shut up.
38
00:01:35,232 --> 00:01:37,582
- Noreen and her fancy parties,
39
00:01:37,578 --> 00:01:39,338
cooking sausages outside has always
40
00:01:39,337 --> 00:01:40,927
been and will always be a fry.
41
00:01:40,931 --> 00:01:42,171
She's terrible notions, terrible
42
00:01:42,170 --> 00:01:43,340
notions Noreen after doing a
43
00:01:43,340 --> 00:01:44,560
secretarial course in Naas,
44
00:01:44,560 --> 00:01:45,840
she didn't even do the whole thing.
45
00:01:45,838 --> 00:01:48,588
(doorbell rings)
46
00:01:49,991 --> 00:01:51,241
It's the Gards!
47
00:01:57,701 --> 00:01:59,251
- Jesus you two were in some stage
48
00:01:59,252 --> 00:02:01,102
last night, ye were bolloxed!
49
00:02:01,100 --> 00:02:02,700
You missed that heifer by inches.
50
00:02:02,701 --> 00:02:04,311
- Eamon, this is official business.
51
00:02:04,314 --> 00:02:06,214
Can you pretend you don't know us?
52
00:02:06,214 --> 00:02:07,164
Please!
53
00:02:07,161 --> 00:02:08,581
- Oh, sorry Gard.
54
00:02:10,455 --> 00:02:12,295
- You're going to need to sit down.
55
00:02:12,301 --> 00:02:13,651
- We are sitting down.
56
00:02:13,651 --> 00:02:15,831
- Okay, well stay sitting so.
57
00:02:15,834 --> 00:02:18,604
- We can stand up and sit
back down if you want, Paul.
58
00:02:18,599 --> 00:02:19,849
- Jesus Bridget, can you at least
59
00:02:19,849 --> 00:02:21,179
pretend you don't know us?
60
00:02:21,184 --> 00:02:22,184
- There's nothing happening since they
61
00:02:22,175 --> 00:02:23,205
captured the Border Fox,
62
00:02:23,210 --> 00:02:24,180
we're trying to jazz things up a
63
00:02:24,182 --> 00:02:25,332
small bit for ourselves.
64
00:02:25,331 --> 00:02:27,431
- Oh, okay, officer.
65
00:02:27,430 --> 00:02:29,860
- Oh, I like that, officer, eh!
66
00:02:29,860 --> 00:02:31,770
- I saw it on Hill Street Blues.
67
00:02:31,767 --> 00:02:33,487
- I have a second cousin that can play
68
00:02:33,486 --> 00:02:34,926
Hill Street Blues on the piano.
69
00:02:34,932 --> 00:02:35,772
- He's very good.
70
00:02:35,765 --> 00:02:37,845
- For fuck's sake lads,
this is official business.
71
00:02:37,852 --> 00:02:38,692
Do you realize that one of your
72
00:02:38,685 --> 00:02:39,815
children could be dead?
73
00:02:39,824 --> 00:02:41,394
- Jesus, did that little shit get onto
74
00:02:41,390 --> 00:02:42,870
that electricity pylon again!
75
00:02:42,867 --> 00:02:44,377
I'll kill him, which one is it, PJ,
76
00:02:44,384 --> 00:02:45,974
JP, Paddy, Mairead!
77
00:02:45,968 --> 00:02:48,508
- No, there's nobody dead, okay.
78
00:02:48,507 --> 00:02:50,097
- Look lads, we received information
79
00:02:50,101 --> 00:02:51,481
relating to Bridget that's so
80
00:02:51,483 --> 00:02:54,663
sensitive it could send
the parish into meltdown.
81
00:02:54,657 --> 00:02:55,607
- I'm so sorry, I'll bring the
82
00:02:55,611 --> 00:02:57,201
necklace back, I can't help it,
83
00:02:57,196 --> 00:02:58,716
I'm a hemophiliac.
84
00:02:58,723 --> 00:03:00,653
- You're a kleptomaniac you dope.
85
00:03:00,648 --> 00:03:02,598
- I'm a klepto...
86
00:03:02,595 --> 00:03:04,145
- No, it's good news.
87
00:03:04,147 --> 00:03:05,987
(laughs)
88
00:03:05,986 --> 00:03:09,466
- Oh sure we know, we're only messing.
89
00:03:09,473 --> 00:03:11,323
I took a lot of sleeping tablets.
90
00:03:11,320 --> 00:03:13,580
- We received this
earlier in the post today.
91
00:03:13,575 --> 00:03:15,315
Eamon, your wife has been nominated
92
00:03:15,316 --> 00:03:18,726
for Calor Kosangas Housewife of the Year.
93
00:03:22,652 --> 00:03:23,582
- You going out tonight?
94
00:03:23,581 --> 00:03:24,811
- I am yeah, I can't collect you
95
00:03:24,811 --> 00:03:26,371
though, I'm using the squad car.
96
00:03:26,372 --> 00:03:27,532
I'm still riding that camogie player
97
00:03:27,531 --> 00:03:28,721
below in Thurles.
98
00:03:28,717 --> 00:03:30,717
She's still living with her parents.
99
00:03:30,716 --> 00:03:32,526
The one with the tash?
100
00:03:32,532 --> 00:03:34,652
- It's barely noticeable Eamon and if
101
00:03:34,651 --> 00:03:37,621
you say that to me again, I'll arrest you.
102
00:03:37,621 --> 00:03:40,291
- We'll have to clean the house!
103
00:03:41,716 --> 00:03:43,596
- Look at all those people in there.
104
00:03:43,600 --> 00:03:44,620
- I don't know how she got in the
105
00:03:44,616 --> 00:03:45,836
final, she doesn't even use sherry
106
00:03:45,838 --> 00:03:46,698
in her trifle.
107
00:03:46,700 --> 00:03:47,830
She uses turpentine.
108
00:03:47,828 --> 00:03:51,658
- Oh, any time I drink
turpentine I get piles.
109
00:03:53,013 --> 00:03:54,853
- They're all out there Bridget,
110
00:03:54,846 --> 00:03:56,836
the Midland Recorder,
the Longford Observer,
111
00:03:56,840 --> 00:03:58,810
the Carlow Onlooker,
the Mullingar Pervert.
112
00:03:58,814 --> 00:04:00,584
- I know him.
113
00:04:00,579 --> 00:04:01,649
- Come on, let's get this shite out of
114
00:04:01,645 --> 00:04:02,995
the way, I'm starving.
115
00:04:02,995 --> 00:04:04,675
Bridget, you've to put the dinner on.
116
00:04:04,679 --> 00:04:05,639
- Right, they're ready for you, follow
117
00:04:05,637 --> 00:04:08,157
my lead and we'll be grand.
118
00:04:08,158 --> 00:04:10,928
Keep an eye out for Ted
Meany, he's dangerous.
119
00:04:10,929 --> 00:04:15,099
I'll look after him, come on,
come on, come on, come on!
120
00:04:19,654 --> 00:04:22,904
- [All] Bridget! Bridget! Bridget!
121
00:04:22,904 --> 00:04:25,334
- Settle down, settle down, okay.
122
00:04:25,333 --> 00:04:26,843
Questions, Mick.
123
00:04:26,838 --> 00:04:28,508
- Mick Brady, the Dundalk Times,
124
00:04:28,513 --> 00:04:30,473
Bridget, the televised final is only this
125
00:04:30,466 --> 00:04:31,666
Saturday so what are you
126
00:04:31,667 --> 00:04:33,067
planning for dessert?
127
00:04:33,066 --> 00:04:34,626
- I'm thinking of an Arctic Roll but
128
00:04:34,634 --> 00:04:36,384
I'm toying with the idea
129
00:04:36,380 --> 00:04:39,550
of a Teatime Express pineapple gateau.
130
00:04:40,681 --> 00:04:42,411
- [Press] Bridget, Bridget!
131
00:04:42,408 --> 00:04:44,368
- You, you there, Cagney and Lacey.
132
00:04:44,369 --> 00:04:45,969
- Tessa Smith, Tullamore Tribune,
133
00:04:45,968 --> 00:04:47,048
Bridget, is it true that
134
00:04:47,053 --> 00:04:48,363
you're the first woman in Ireland to
135
00:04:48,355 --> 00:04:49,185
make a lasagne?
136
00:04:49,188 --> 00:04:52,238
- It's true but it's
actually called lasagne.
137
00:04:52,242 --> 00:04:54,912
Ne as in no in French, you know.
138
00:04:57,245 --> 00:04:59,495
- [Press] Bridget, Bridget!
139
00:05:00,338 --> 00:05:01,628
- You!
140
00:05:01,625 --> 00:05:03,235
- Brenda Fitz, Tulsk Telegraph,
141
00:05:03,241 --> 00:05:04,891
actually have a question for Eamon.
142
00:05:04,894 --> 00:05:07,964
Eamon, are you very proud of your wife?
143
00:05:07,959 --> 00:05:09,639
- Proud, why would I be proud?
144
00:05:09,639 --> 00:05:10,789
A rake of women baking apple
145
00:05:10,789 --> 00:05:12,489
tarts and boiling spuds, what's
146
00:05:12,493 --> 00:05:13,723
there to be proud of?
147
00:05:13,716 --> 00:05:16,736
- Eamon, come here, what are you doing?
148
00:05:16,741 --> 00:05:17,681
You know there's a year's supply of
149
00:05:17,677 --> 00:05:19,827
free gas if she wins this thing?
150
00:05:19,825 --> 00:05:22,405
(upbeat music)
151
00:05:28,137 --> 00:05:29,637
- It's getting hot in here.
152
00:05:29,642 --> 00:05:31,102
- That would be all the free gas.
153
00:05:31,096 --> 00:05:31,926
- Fancy--
154
00:05:32,790 --> 00:05:34,710
- Shh, I'm heading out.
155
00:05:36,667 --> 00:05:40,747
Oh and by the way, you
can leave the emersion on.
156
00:05:46,459 --> 00:05:47,289
- Eamon!
157
00:05:49,747 --> 00:05:51,717
- Sorry, I'm very proud of my free gas.
158
00:05:51,719 --> 00:05:52,549
- Bridget.
159
00:05:52,552 --> 00:05:53,502
- Sorry, free Bridget.
160
00:05:53,495 --> 00:05:54,835
- Bridget.
- Free gas.
161
00:05:54,840 --> 00:05:56,920
- [All] Bridget, Bridget!
162
00:05:58,315 --> 00:05:59,485
- Father Gabriel.
163
00:05:59,494 --> 00:06:01,764
- Father Gabriel, Parish
Newsletter Fashion Pages.
164
00:06:01,760 --> 00:06:02,920
Bridget, what are you planning on
165
00:06:02,919 --> 00:06:04,349
doing with your hair?
166
00:06:04,352 --> 00:06:05,752
- Oh, I'm glad you asked, I'm going to
167
00:06:05,746 --> 00:06:07,216
do something pure modern,
168
00:06:07,216 --> 00:06:08,756
really choppy changy.
169
00:06:08,759 --> 00:06:09,759
- [All] Ooh!
170
00:06:12,078 --> 00:06:12,908
- Bridget!
171
00:06:12,911 --> 00:06:13,861
- Shush, shush!
172
00:06:13,861 --> 00:06:16,511
Animals, no more questions,
come on, come on.
173
00:06:16,507 --> 00:06:19,187
- Ted Meany, The Morning Pearl.
174
00:06:19,187 --> 00:06:20,637
Bridget, some people up in Dublin
175
00:06:20,639 --> 00:06:22,249
say this is an antiquated
176
00:06:22,245 --> 00:06:25,335
outdated and sexist competition,
177
00:06:25,337 --> 00:06:27,687
what do you say to that?
178
00:06:27,689 --> 00:06:28,689
- Thank you!
179
00:06:29,914 --> 00:06:31,114
- I'll tell you what she says!
180
00:06:31,110 --> 00:06:33,430
She says piss off back to Dublin with
181
00:06:33,427 --> 00:06:36,997
your big words and questions you...
182
00:06:36,999 --> 00:06:38,999
- I'll get you for that.
183
00:06:40,096 --> 00:06:42,206
- You know everyone heard that?
184
00:06:42,208 --> 00:06:43,768
- No they didn't.
185
00:06:43,769 --> 00:06:45,349
- [All] Yes we did.
186
00:06:53,720 --> 00:06:56,640
(triumphant music)
187
00:07:07,458 --> 00:07:10,038
(upbeat music)
188
00:07:19,361 --> 00:07:23,641
♫ You're dressed to
kill, you're feeling free
189
00:07:23,644 --> 00:07:27,814
♫ You're in the place
you always wanted to be
190
00:07:29,502 --> 00:07:31,692
- Yo Eamon, I think I might win this.
191
00:07:31,688 --> 00:07:34,688
- There's a woman from Dublin in it.
192
00:07:36,094 --> 00:07:37,594
- [Bridget] Shite!
193
00:07:39,751 --> 00:07:41,441
- Listen to me, you're not losing that
194
00:07:41,438 --> 00:07:42,898
Housewife of the Year competition,
195
00:07:42,901 --> 00:07:44,351
I don't care if she's from Dublin.
196
00:07:44,351 --> 00:07:45,691
I'm so close to that year's supply
197
00:07:45,694 --> 00:07:47,754
of free gas, I can almost smell it.
198
00:07:47,749 --> 00:07:50,109
- Eamon, they have cocktail sausages
199
00:07:50,109 --> 00:07:51,909
up there for 20 years.
200
00:07:51,906 --> 00:07:53,866
We're only getting them now.
201
00:07:53,867 --> 00:07:55,657
- Pull yourself together you mad bitch.
202
00:07:55,656 --> 00:07:58,686
Stop dropping chickens on the floor.
203
00:07:58,690 --> 00:07:59,520
- Dublin!
204
00:08:00,478 --> 00:08:01,648
Not even Cork!
205
00:08:06,393 --> 00:08:07,903
- Now it says here in the RTE Guide
206
00:08:07,895 --> 00:08:09,295
that the way to win a woman's
207
00:08:09,301 --> 00:08:11,281
competition is the 3 Fs, Food,
208
00:08:11,279 --> 00:08:13,029
Fashion, and Fitness.
209
00:08:14,806 --> 00:08:16,446
On the fashion I'm going to put
210
00:08:16,446 --> 00:08:18,326
Frank, Father you can do the fitness
211
00:08:18,328 --> 00:08:19,758
and I'll do the food 'cause I'm
212
00:08:19,757 --> 00:08:21,257
starving and where's me dinner?
213
00:08:21,264 --> 00:08:23,164
- No offense Frank but I think I
214
00:08:23,156 --> 00:08:25,516
might be better suited to do with fashion?
215
00:08:25,518 --> 00:08:28,368
- Yeah, I think myself and
Father Gabriel should swap.
216
00:08:28,365 --> 00:08:29,825
- Really?
- Yeah.
217
00:08:29,833 --> 00:08:30,673
- I always thought you were a
218
00:08:30,666 --> 00:08:32,156
bit of a dapper dresser, Frank.
219
00:08:32,162 --> 00:08:33,632
- Eamon, I've been wearing the same
220
00:08:33,626 --> 00:08:36,036
pair of overalls for the past eight years.
221
00:08:36,040 --> 00:08:37,640
- That suit you wore to the funeral?
222
00:08:37,639 --> 00:08:39,059
I thought you looked beautiful.
223
00:08:39,064 --> 00:08:41,154
- That was my confirmation suit.
224
00:08:41,148 --> 00:08:42,538
Besides, Father Gabriel's reading last
225
00:08:42,536 --> 00:08:43,696
Sunday at mass was from
226
00:08:43,695 --> 00:08:45,165
Woman's Way magazine.
227
00:08:45,174 --> 00:08:47,114
- Oh, wasn't that very moving?
228
00:08:47,110 --> 00:08:49,690
Who knew that white
stilettos would be so slutty?
229
00:08:49,691 --> 00:08:53,121
- Fine then, do it your own way!
230
00:08:53,124 --> 00:08:54,424
- Now Bridget, I'm just going to take
231
00:08:54,422 --> 00:08:55,592
you through a few outfits
232
00:08:55,591 --> 00:08:57,411
that I think will be pure Dynasty
233
00:08:57,406 --> 00:08:59,756
for the live TV final.
234
00:08:59,763 --> 00:09:01,763
First up we have Eimear.
235
00:09:03,979 --> 00:09:07,059
Eimear is wearing an outfit
inspired by Quality Street.
236
00:09:07,056 --> 00:09:09,156
The top is a hazelnut fudge, the
237
00:09:09,163 --> 00:09:11,373
bottom a caramel barrel.
238
00:09:11,373 --> 00:09:13,143
That shimmering gold skirt
239
00:09:13,140 --> 00:09:15,740
practically screams Falcon Crest.
240
00:09:15,740 --> 00:09:16,960
- I like it.
241
00:09:16,958 --> 00:09:20,968
- And that's from Dunnes, priced 22.99.
242
00:09:20,969 --> 00:09:22,429
Thanks Eimear.
243
00:09:22,430 --> 00:09:25,050
Next up we have Patricia, Patricia
244
00:09:25,052 --> 00:09:28,662
is sporting a royal blue power suit
245
00:09:28,656 --> 00:09:31,016
with gold encrusted shoulder pads.
246
00:09:31,022 --> 00:09:33,422
The neckline is high enough to give
247
00:09:33,421 --> 00:09:35,581
an air of respectability yet low
248
00:09:35,581 --> 00:09:38,481
enough to just hint at sass.
249
00:09:38,483 --> 00:09:39,413
And I think blue would be a lovely
250
00:09:39,414 --> 00:09:40,374
color on our Bridget.
251
00:09:40,369 --> 00:09:41,669
- I like it, Father.
252
00:09:41,670 --> 00:09:45,340
- And that is also from
Dunnes, price 22.99!
253
00:09:46,399 --> 00:09:47,519
Thank you Patricia.
254
00:09:47,523 --> 00:09:48,603
- Thanks, Father.
255
00:09:48,595 --> 00:09:50,175
- Don't speak, Patricia!
256
00:09:50,175 --> 00:09:51,545
Just smile, put your hand on your
257
00:09:51,549 --> 00:09:54,969
hip and walk back through those curtains.
258
00:09:56,172 --> 00:09:57,992
Next is Eimear.
259
00:09:57,989 --> 00:09:59,589
- I'm not ready yet Father.
260
00:09:59,594 --> 00:10:01,684
There's no room back here.
261
00:10:01,681 --> 00:10:02,811
- Eimear, you're the one that wants to
262
00:10:02,813 --> 00:10:04,363
go to Naas Fashion Week, do you
263
00:10:04,356 --> 00:10:06,236
think the girls there have room to change?
264
00:10:06,242 --> 00:10:07,652
They don't even eat!
265
00:10:07,650 --> 00:10:09,290
- I can't get it on.
266
00:10:09,285 --> 00:10:10,665
- Throw it out to me here.
267
00:10:10,665 --> 00:10:12,825
Bridget, give me a minute.
268
00:10:16,248 --> 00:10:17,518
Father Gabriel is wearing a gold
269
00:10:17,515 --> 00:10:19,455
sequined party dress which is sort
270
00:10:19,460 --> 00:10:21,670
of like a good mass, short enough to
271
00:10:21,666 --> 00:10:23,076
hold your attention yet long
272
00:10:23,084 --> 00:10:25,864
enough to cover the subject.
273
00:10:25,858 --> 00:10:27,768
This isn't from Dunnes but it is
274
00:10:27,768 --> 00:10:29,518
also priced at 22.99.
275
00:10:30,437 --> 00:10:32,727
- I don't like it.
276
00:10:32,726 --> 00:10:34,056
- Bridget, I haven't eaten in two and
277
00:10:34,064 --> 00:10:36,534
a half hours, where's me dinner?
278
00:10:36,534 --> 00:10:37,734
Oh I like it.
279
00:10:37,730 --> 00:10:38,560
- I know.
280
00:10:38,563 --> 00:10:39,413
(bell tolls)
281
00:10:39,409 --> 00:10:42,449
Oh God, is that the time,
I'm late for a funeral.
282
00:10:42,450 --> 00:10:46,120
- Bridget, Bridget,
show us what you can do?
283
00:10:48,460 --> 00:10:51,040
(upbeat music)
284
00:11:11,231 --> 00:11:12,651
Come on, Bridget!
285
00:11:16,460 --> 00:11:17,970
(grunting)
286
00:11:17,972 --> 00:11:18,812
Come on!
287
00:11:31,192 --> 00:11:33,292
Ham, bread, butter.
288
00:11:33,294 --> 00:11:35,384
Come on Bridget, come on.
289
00:11:36,696 --> 00:11:38,666
- Your one from Dublin cuts
the crusts off, Bridget.
290
00:11:38,671 --> 00:11:40,281
You haven't a chance.
291
00:11:40,284 --> 00:11:43,624
Frank, you don't know what you're doing.
292
00:11:49,101 --> 00:11:52,621
Come on Bridget, put some welly into it.
293
00:11:52,615 --> 00:11:54,475
Come on Bridget, come on!
294
00:11:54,480 --> 00:11:55,330
Bridget, where's my dinner?
295
00:11:55,332 --> 00:11:57,792
(shrieking)
296
00:11:57,792 --> 00:11:58,632
Come on!
297
00:12:09,770 --> 00:12:10,780
Bridget, where's my dinner?
298
00:12:10,779 --> 00:12:14,049
- Dinner, I haven't got time
for dinner, I'm up to high doh.
299
00:12:14,046 --> 00:12:15,316
Where's all my valium?
300
00:12:15,321 --> 00:12:16,181
- I thought they were cough sweets,
301
00:12:16,178 --> 00:12:18,218
I gave them to the child.
302
00:12:18,220 --> 00:12:19,740
- [Bridget] Jesus Christ!
303
00:12:19,741 --> 00:12:21,881
- I've never seen you concerned
about the kids before.
304
00:12:21,880 --> 00:12:25,130
- No, I've never made a lasagne before.
305
00:12:32,788 --> 00:12:35,088
- What do you mean you've
never made a lasagne before?
306
00:12:35,092 --> 00:12:39,112
If you mess this up Bridget,
I don't get my free gas.
307
00:12:39,108 --> 00:12:40,998
What was the yoke you
gave me last October?
308
00:12:41,003 --> 00:12:41,843
- The frozen pizza?
309
00:12:41,836 --> 00:12:42,856
- The thing that broke me teeth?
310
00:12:42,858 --> 00:12:44,158
- Frozen pizza.
311
00:12:44,159 --> 00:12:45,779
- That, give them that.
312
00:12:45,781 --> 00:12:48,581
- No, it's okay look Eamon, I found
313
00:12:48,575 --> 00:12:51,235
this page from a magazine, look!
314
00:12:52,459 --> 00:12:53,539
- I doubt it very much if that's a
315
00:12:53,541 --> 00:12:55,071
cooking magazine Bridget.
316
00:12:55,069 --> 00:12:56,129
Sure there's two naked women there,
317
00:12:56,129 --> 00:12:57,309
that must be her sister or a
318
00:12:57,305 --> 00:12:59,475
doctor, look at the
examination she's giving.
319
00:12:59,481 --> 00:13:02,781
- No, look what the woman's
taking out of the oven.
320
00:13:02,783 --> 00:13:04,453
That's a lasagne.
321
00:13:04,448 --> 00:13:05,758
- Bridget, that's a small little furry
322
00:13:05,760 --> 00:13:07,340
animal between her legs.
323
00:13:07,341 --> 00:13:10,051
- No, you're not looking
in the right place, Eamon.
324
00:13:10,046 --> 00:13:11,116
That's a lasagne.
325
00:13:11,118 --> 00:13:12,388
And you know what, from looking
326
00:13:12,390 --> 00:13:13,830
at the picture I bet I can cook it.
327
00:13:13,827 --> 00:13:16,087
Easy, that's a pound and a half of mince.
328
00:13:16,094 --> 00:13:18,434
- What's that liquid
stuff coming out of it?
329
00:13:18,432 --> 00:13:19,512
- That must be the pasta.
330
00:13:19,511 --> 00:13:21,101
- But we don't have the pasta.
331
00:13:21,095 --> 00:13:24,255
You don't even know what the pasta is.
332
00:13:25,344 --> 00:13:26,344
- The pasta.
333
00:13:29,406 --> 00:13:31,476
- Now put in the pasta.
334
00:13:31,484 --> 00:13:33,834
No, no, no, not like that.
335
00:13:33,827 --> 00:13:34,977
Do it like that.
336
00:13:34,981 --> 00:13:37,581
Get out of the way Bridget.
337
00:13:37,577 --> 00:13:40,197
- Eamon, you're supposed
to add water to that.
338
00:13:40,198 --> 00:13:42,538
- Well I don't know where we
keep the water, do I Bridget!
339
00:13:42,535 --> 00:13:44,105
- Jesus Christ!
340
00:13:44,108 --> 00:13:45,378
Cheese Eamon, cheese.
341
00:13:45,384 --> 00:13:47,394
- Let me do it Bridget!
342
00:13:47,390 --> 00:13:48,810
Okay, the cheese.
343
00:13:50,295 --> 00:13:51,625
Okay, that's it.
344
00:13:54,812 --> 00:13:57,062
And you think you've a
hard time making dinner.
345
00:13:57,056 --> 00:13:59,986
Oh Eamon, I made the
dinner, I'll hold onto this.
346
00:13:59,987 --> 00:14:02,397
You have some life so you do.
347
00:14:08,689 --> 00:14:10,579
- What's all this about Eamon?
348
00:14:10,584 --> 00:14:13,904
- Sit down there, I want you
to taste test a dinner I made.
349
00:14:13,898 --> 00:14:16,558
- Don't ever say that, don't
ever say that, not even joking.
350
00:14:16,556 --> 00:14:18,436
You're scaring me now.
351
00:14:18,444 --> 00:14:20,534
(laughs)
352
00:14:23,442 --> 00:14:26,172
- I didn't make it, Bridget made it.
353
00:14:26,171 --> 00:14:28,251
I wouldn't make a dinner!
354
00:14:29,808 --> 00:14:31,528
Sure a man doesn't do dinner.
355
00:14:31,528 --> 00:14:33,778
(laughing)
356
00:14:36,816 --> 00:14:38,046
- I'm not eating that.
357
00:14:38,051 --> 00:14:39,301
- What's wrong?
358
00:14:40,284 --> 00:14:41,374
- Look at it!
359
00:14:44,456 --> 00:14:45,706
- Jesus Christ!
360
00:15:02,683 --> 00:15:03,603
- Oh Jesus!
361
00:15:04,507 --> 00:15:05,337
Oh Jesus!
362
00:15:07,308 --> 00:15:09,808
You wouldn't get that in Naas.
363
00:15:12,779 --> 00:15:13,859
- [Man] Two minutes people.
364
00:15:13,864 --> 00:15:15,254
- Twenty pence an hour to park the car,
365
00:15:15,254 --> 00:15:18,554
no wonder this country's gone to shite.
366
00:15:18,547 --> 00:15:20,757
- Now now, don't be nervous.
367
00:15:20,756 --> 00:15:22,676
- Sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry,
368
00:15:22,682 --> 00:15:24,492
oh my god, he's beautiful.
369
00:15:24,492 --> 00:15:26,922
- Did you make that?
370
00:15:26,915 --> 00:15:28,415
- Did I make this?
371
00:15:29,805 --> 00:15:31,935
Did I make this?
372
00:15:31,935 --> 00:15:33,175
- [Both] No, no!
373
00:15:33,175 --> 00:15:35,405
(laughing)
374
00:15:35,408 --> 00:15:36,668
- He's a man.
375
00:15:36,667 --> 00:15:38,517
- I'm a man sure.
376
00:15:38,518 --> 00:15:40,108
- He doesn't even know
where the kitchen is.
377
00:15:40,109 --> 00:15:41,659
- I don't even know where the kitchen is.
378
00:15:41,663 --> 00:15:43,373
- And he's terrible stupid.
379
00:15:43,365 --> 00:15:44,405
- I'm terrible...
380
00:15:44,408 --> 00:15:46,828
- And he's an awful gobshite.
381
00:15:49,322 --> 00:15:50,612
- Too far.
382
00:15:50,605 --> 00:15:52,855
(laughing)
383
00:15:54,670 --> 00:15:58,540
Take the food, I told you
don't give me the food!
384
00:15:58,538 --> 00:16:01,238
Jesus Christ, you're going to blow this.
385
00:16:01,235 --> 00:16:02,885
- [Announcer] Live from
Dublin, welcome to the
386
00:16:02,886 --> 00:16:05,266
Calor Kosangas Housewife of the Year show
387
00:16:05,268 --> 00:16:08,788
and here's your host, Mr. Ray Ahern.
388
00:16:08,788 --> 00:16:10,618
- Please welcome our first finalist
389
00:16:10,622 --> 00:16:14,392
tonight, Ms. Fionnuala
Lorrigan from Waterford.
390
00:16:14,390 --> 00:16:18,630
Now your talent is to
find items of clothing
391
00:16:18,633 --> 00:16:21,063
that haven't been aired properly.
392
00:16:21,060 --> 00:16:22,640
You've got five seconds.
393
00:16:22,643 --> 00:16:23,483
Are you ready?
394
00:16:23,476 --> 00:16:24,916
- I'm ready Ray.
395
00:16:24,922 --> 00:16:26,132
- Go!
396
00:16:26,132 --> 00:16:28,792
- [Fionnuala] Dry, dry, dry, dry.
397
00:16:28,792 --> 00:16:31,062
These here slacks.
398
00:16:31,055 --> 00:16:34,745
- Excellent, well done,
well done, Fionnuala.
399
00:16:34,749 --> 00:16:36,499
Well done, good girl.
400
00:16:40,409 --> 00:16:42,859
- It's her, it's the
woman from Dublin, look!
401
00:16:42,857 --> 00:16:44,767
Oh God she's beautiful.
402
00:16:46,350 --> 00:16:48,750
- Mrs. Delahunty, is it true that you
403
00:16:48,748 --> 00:16:52,118
once made volivents for
Daniel O'Donnell, is it?
404
00:16:52,122 --> 00:16:53,922
- You've won Housewife of the Year 17
405
00:16:53,921 --> 00:16:57,871
years now, what's your
secret, Mrs. Delahunty?
406
00:16:57,870 --> 00:16:59,970
- Well to be honest, there are no
407
00:16:59,969 --> 00:17:03,189
secrets, just good honest hard work.
408
00:17:03,192 --> 00:17:04,862
And of course these.
409
00:17:11,223 --> 00:17:13,663
- How did she pass the drugs test?
410
00:17:13,656 --> 00:17:17,316
- Please welcome Mrs.
Delahunty from Dublin.
411
00:17:24,718 --> 00:17:27,848
- I like to call it chicken broccoli.
412
00:17:27,854 --> 00:17:28,764
(cheering)
413
00:17:28,757 --> 00:17:30,167
- Oh for... Sake!
414
00:17:31,731 --> 00:17:33,131
The woman's a genius.
415
00:17:33,129 --> 00:17:34,819
- How can she be a genius, you said
416
00:17:34,821 --> 00:17:37,571
all the people from Dublin are on drugs.
417
00:17:37,565 --> 00:17:39,415
- That's what Today Tonight said, Bridget.
418
00:17:39,418 --> 00:17:41,168
- [Ray] Well, let's have a little taste.
419
00:17:41,167 --> 00:17:43,167
- Chicken and broccoli.
420
00:17:43,165 --> 00:17:43,995
- Mmm!
421
00:17:47,623 --> 00:17:49,413
What is that on top?
422
00:17:49,405 --> 00:17:51,915
I don't think I've ever
tasted anything like it.
423
00:17:51,919 --> 00:17:53,419
- Breadcrumbs, Ray.
424
00:17:53,424 --> 00:17:54,944
Breadcrumbs.
425
00:17:54,935 --> 00:17:57,035
- Let's just go home.
426
00:17:57,040 --> 00:17:57,870
We're f--
427
00:17:57,873 --> 00:18:00,523
- Ladies and gentlemen,
Mrs. Delahunty from Dublin!
428
00:18:00,524 --> 00:18:02,944
(applauding)
429
00:18:05,266 --> 00:18:07,046
- Okay Bridget, there's something
430
00:18:07,053 --> 00:18:08,653
really important I have to tell you now.
431
00:18:08,651 --> 00:18:10,191
There's just one thing that's in
432
00:18:10,191 --> 00:18:11,711
your way of winning this competition.
433
00:18:11,705 --> 00:18:13,705
- The woman from Dublin.
434
00:18:15,097 --> 00:18:16,857
- Okay, there's two things that are
435
00:18:16,858 --> 00:18:19,098
going to stop you from
winning this competition.
436
00:18:19,097 --> 00:18:20,567
But most importantly, when you're
437
00:18:20,568 --> 00:18:22,988
out there, don't be yourself.
438
00:18:25,288 --> 00:18:26,208
- You mean be myself.
439
00:18:26,209 --> 00:18:29,009
- No, don't be yourself.
440
00:18:29,006 --> 00:18:29,916
When you're out there and all the
441
00:18:29,915 --> 00:18:30,745
cameras are on you
442
00:18:30,748 --> 00:18:31,718
and Ray is interviewing you and
443
00:18:31,716 --> 00:18:33,176
everyone's staring at you,
444
00:18:33,180 --> 00:18:36,780
just remember one thing,
don't be yourself.
445
00:18:36,776 --> 00:18:41,096
'Cause no one, no one cares
about you and for God's sake
446
00:18:41,095 --> 00:18:43,035
don't tell them that I made the lasagne.
447
00:18:43,041 --> 00:18:44,671
- Ladies and gentlemen, it's time for
448
00:18:44,673 --> 00:18:46,483
our final finalist tonight,
449
00:18:46,484 --> 00:18:48,964
please welcome Bridget.
450
00:18:48,960 --> 00:18:50,100
(applauding)
451
00:18:50,102 --> 00:18:51,692
- Ooh, here she is!
452
00:18:58,565 --> 00:19:00,145
Walk Bridget, walk!
453
00:19:02,693 --> 00:19:04,173
- Bridget!
454
00:19:04,168 --> 00:19:06,998
Come over here Bridget, come over.
455
00:19:08,649 --> 00:19:09,889
I think it will be safe to say that
456
00:19:09,893 --> 00:19:14,063
you haven't been on live
television before, have you?
457
00:19:18,603 --> 00:19:19,993
- Eamon!
458
00:19:19,993 --> 00:19:20,833
- Eamon.
459
00:19:22,203 --> 00:19:23,583
Eamon of course, Eamon.
460
00:19:23,579 --> 00:19:25,579
That's your husband, isn't it?
461
00:19:25,581 --> 00:19:27,291
Is he here tonight?
462
00:19:27,292 --> 00:19:30,462
- Eamon, he is yes, don't be yourself.
463
00:19:32,000 --> 00:19:33,250
- Oh for, sake.
464
00:19:34,355 --> 00:19:37,585
- Tell us what dish have
you made for us tonight.
465
00:19:37,588 --> 00:19:38,918
- It's called...
466
00:19:42,258 --> 00:19:43,678
A lasagne.
467
00:19:43,678 --> 00:19:44,598
- Fabulous.
468
00:19:46,800 --> 00:19:48,350
- I just whipped it up while I was
469
00:19:48,349 --> 00:19:50,849
watching Live At Three, I did.
470
00:19:51,707 --> 00:19:54,287
- How long did you cook it for?
471
00:19:55,688 --> 00:19:56,688
- Two hours.
472
00:19:58,057 --> 00:19:59,217
At gas mark...
473
00:20:00,675 --> 00:20:01,505
What?
474
00:20:03,650 --> 00:20:04,830
Five.
475
00:20:04,834 --> 00:20:05,674
- Seven!
476
00:20:05,667 --> 00:20:07,167
- [Bridget] Seven.
477
00:20:24,687 --> 00:20:27,347
- Bridget didn't make that dish.
478
00:20:28,837 --> 00:20:31,827
P.M. today she spent two hours
479
00:20:31,826 --> 00:20:34,246
and 15 minutes getting her hair done.
480
00:20:34,254 --> 00:20:35,504
- Oh for, sake.
481
00:20:36,622 --> 00:20:38,762
- But more to the point, I have a
482
00:20:38,758 --> 00:20:40,728
video of the very person
483
00:20:40,734 --> 00:20:42,824
who did make the lasagne.
484
00:20:44,736 --> 00:20:46,916
- Roll it there Colette.
485
00:20:46,923 --> 00:20:49,513
(upbeat music)
486
00:21:00,443 --> 00:21:03,283
(audience booing)
487
00:21:13,593 --> 00:21:15,433
- What did Eamon make?
488
00:21:16,513 --> 00:21:18,263
- You didn't know, did you?
489
00:21:18,256 --> 00:21:19,256
- Know what?
490
00:21:20,367 --> 00:21:22,447
- Eamon made the lasagne.
491
00:21:28,556 --> 00:21:29,966
- Oh Jesus Eamon!
492
00:21:31,343 --> 00:21:32,683
You let me down!
493
00:21:37,654 --> 00:21:40,344
- Eskimos, we'll be like
Eskimos now for the winter.
494
00:21:40,339 --> 00:21:43,469
- I told you we should
have got the installation.
495
00:21:43,472 --> 00:21:46,502
- Insulation, Bridget, and
insulation is a gimmick.
496
00:21:46,499 --> 00:21:49,199
Nobody will be insulating
their houses in 20 years time.
497
00:21:49,199 --> 00:21:50,849
Pebble dash, that's the way forward.
498
00:21:50,846 --> 00:21:51,676
I should have pebble dashed the
499
00:21:51,679 --> 00:21:54,099
whole house, inside and
out when I got the chance.
500
00:21:54,096 --> 00:21:57,926
- I know how we can keep ourselves warm.
501
00:21:57,930 --> 00:21:58,820
- I'm not turning on the electric
502
00:21:58,823 --> 00:22:00,343
heater, not even half a bar.
503
00:22:00,341 --> 00:22:01,721
I'm not JR Ewing you know.
504
00:22:01,720 --> 00:22:03,240
You want a mortgage to pay for that yoke.
505
00:22:03,242 --> 00:22:05,082
- No, the natural way.
506
00:22:06,691 --> 00:22:07,981
- You can distinguish those thoughts
507
00:22:07,978 --> 00:22:09,108
out of your head right now.
508
00:22:09,105 --> 00:22:10,035
You know what I blame?
509
00:22:10,043 --> 00:22:10,923
The Late Late Show.
510
00:22:10,923 --> 00:22:12,183
It has your mind twisted.
511
00:22:12,182 --> 00:22:14,832
It's pornography, it's pornography.
512
00:22:14,833 --> 00:22:15,893
Do you know what?
513
00:22:15,888 --> 00:22:17,518
They arrested me for
cooking a bit of dinner,
514
00:22:17,523 --> 00:22:18,463
they should arrest your mind and put
515
00:22:18,460 --> 00:22:19,540
it away for a few years.
516
00:22:19,541 --> 00:22:21,311
- I was the one arrested Eamon.
517
00:22:21,309 --> 00:22:22,339
But you know what?
518
00:22:22,338 --> 00:22:23,208
I thought you looked very handsome
519
00:22:23,205 --> 00:22:25,075
cooking on the tele.
520
00:22:25,075 --> 00:22:27,365
- Are you out of your tiny little mind?
521
00:22:27,371 --> 00:22:30,031
Who wants to look at a
grown man cooking food?
522
00:22:30,025 --> 00:22:31,155
Especially on the television, I tell
523
00:22:31,157 --> 00:22:32,967
you, the day a man gets his own
524
00:22:32,968 --> 00:22:34,878
show cooking food on the tele, is
525
00:22:34,878 --> 00:22:37,408
the day we've an issue
winning the Eurovision.
526
00:22:37,406 --> 00:22:40,806
- You're right, good night, Eamon.
527
00:22:40,811 --> 00:22:43,391
(upbeat music)
528
00:22:46,837 --> 00:22:47,967
- [Eamon] Take your hand away
529
00:22:47,972 --> 00:22:49,572
from there now, pretty lively Bridget
530
00:22:49,571 --> 00:22:52,021
or I'll cut it off with a hack saw.
531
00:22:52,017 --> 00:22:55,527
I'm warning you Bridget,
take it away, take it away.
532
00:22:55,530 --> 00:22:56,360
Bridget!
533
00:22:56,363 --> 00:22:57,203
Bridget!
534
00:23:12,779 --> 00:23:15,779
- Lads, this is Dervla from Thurles.
535
00:23:18,804 --> 00:23:20,494
- Eh, would you like a beard?
536
00:23:20,493 --> 00:23:23,023
Sorry, my moustache, sorry my mistake.
537
00:23:23,020 --> 00:23:24,370
- I warned you Eamon, that's it,
538
00:23:24,370 --> 00:23:25,960
you're under arrest, come on.
539
00:23:25,962 --> 00:23:29,712
I warned you, come on,
come on, come with me.
540
00:23:38,033 --> 00:23:39,873
- Do The Golden Girls.
541
00:23:39,923 --> 00:23:44,473
Repair and Synchronization by
Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0
37362
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bengali
Bosnian
Bulgarian
Catalan
Cebuano
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Finnish
French
Frisian
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Gujarati
Haitian Creole
Hawaiian
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Khmer
Korean
Kurdish (Kurmanji)
Kyrgyz
Lao
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Polish
Portuguese
Romanian
Russian
Samoan
Serbian
Sesotho
Shona
Sinhala
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swahili
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Turkish
Ukrainian
Urdu
Uzbek
Vietnamese
