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Previously on 'Boston legal'
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You gave me the Crane legacy.
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And I fully plan on living up to it.
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He's not my son.
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Obviously he doesn't know.
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You're not my father?
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I'm not terribly comfortable with you working closely with this woman.
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You and I are in a relationship, Alan.
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The fact that you don't realize it doesn't give you license to be unfaithful.
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You're mad as a hatter.
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Donny Crane. You remember me.
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We used to be father and son.
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I may not have been around much,
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but I was always there when you needed me.
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Still I am.
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I pledge allegiance to the flag of the United States of America
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and to the Republic for which it stands,
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one nation, under God, indivisible, with liberty and justice for all.
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Well, Denny, that was refreshing and patriotic. What gives?
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I, Denny Crane,
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am going to court to represent the United States of America.
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And what has our country done to deserve you?
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US attorney and the DOJ had to recuse themselves,
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so Alberto appointed me to carry the ball for team USA.
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The greatest lawyer in the world representing the greatest country in the world,
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a match made in heaven.
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Did you know about this?
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I did not.
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Where's a sitter when you need one?
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And we're back in court on the Arrow lake water case.
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Opposing counsel is relentless. Yet another evidentiary hearing.
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Denise, per your status report,
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you had your mandatory settlement conference with datemistake. com last week.
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Datemistake. com?
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It's an internet site where women can vent their ill feelings about
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the men they've dated as a warning to other women.
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Our client Derek Roth has been defamed by them.
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Oh, I'm sorry.
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I, um, you were just a little in my space.
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Yes, Shirley, did reach a settlement.
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As for Denny, the judge denied the government's motion to dismiss.
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So the spectacle of Denny Crane
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representing the United States will continue to play out in federal court,
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God save us all.
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What judge did Denny get?
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Judge Kimberly Ohlund.
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I used to clerk for her.
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Her current clerk Dan Jinks and I play squash.
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I'm e-mailing Dan now.
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He'll give me everything from the judge's political leanings to her basal temperature after breakfast.
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Thank you, Marlene.
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Sorry I'm late, but as usual, I'm really only here for the fruit.
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Something new.
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Alan, Marlene Stanger. Marlene, Alan Shore.
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A pleasure, Ms. Stanger.
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Mr. Shore.
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Marlene comes to us from Howard and Brock.
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Your name came up frequently at my old firm.
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I hope amid a torrent of obscenities.
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Always.
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Good.
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I look forward to working with you, Ms. Stanger.
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It's not often you meet someone with such ocular precision.
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Why won't you try this case with me?
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Personal reasons.
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It's because you're red.
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That's the old red, not the new red, which is the opposite of blue. That's good.
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It's the old red. That's bad and pink.
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Regardless of my pigmentation, I promised I'd sit with you.
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That's the best I can do.
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Denny Crane doesn't need any sitters.
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What are these "personal reasons" anyway?
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It's the global gag rule.
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Nonsense.
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Gags are dangerous, locally or globally.
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You don't even know what the global gag rule is, do you?
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I can tell you.
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The global gag rule forces other countries where abortion is perfectly legal
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to stop performing them or even uttering the word "abortion,"
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otherwise, the United states cuts off their funding.
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Donny.
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Denny.
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Alan.
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Donny.
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What are you doing here?
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I'm with lawyers without borders.
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They heard you were brought in after the judge denied the government's motion to dismiss.
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Liberal pinko.
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Please rise.
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The honorable Kimberly Ohlund presiding.
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Denny Crane for the United states of America, your honor.
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Donny Crane for the plaintiff Kavita Pokharel.
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I take it you two know each other.
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He's not my father.
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He's like a son.
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This will be a delight.
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I can't believe the squid is working here now.
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The squid?
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In old mythology, they say the squid is the only animal that can kill a shark.
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I used to work with her at Howard and Brock.
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And like the mysterious giant squid,
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the only evidence of her existence were the whopping sucker marks left on her victims.
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I take it you didn't get along.
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You don't get along with the squid.
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She used to tap into the computer network, steal everyone's research memos
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and then claim them as her own.
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Why the hell did we hire her?
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Beats me.
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I only hope she doesn't get my Alan.
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I was pregnant with my second child.
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When I went into labor, my husband took me to the district clinic in Khotang.
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This is in Nepal.
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Objection.
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The witness isn't speaking English.
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We're aware of that, Mr. Crane. She's being translated.
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Is that legal?
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Shocking, isn't it?
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Continue.
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It was the same clinic where I had my first child,
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only this time, the doctor was gone.
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The medical assistant said I had an obstetric fistula,
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and I needed a Cesarean section.
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But because they had no equipment or medicine or a physician,
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they said there was nothing they could do.
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I began to hemorrhage.
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I almost bled to death, and my baby boy died.
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I'm not the only one. Thousands are dying.
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Why weren't there any supplies?
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They told me the United states had taken away all the clinic's funding.
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Edward Broden.
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And the man responsible for making that decision was Mr. Edward Broden.
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That man?
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Yes.
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I was a physician in Khotang from 2001 until last October.
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Our clinic had been funded primarily by the United states.
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Notice he didn't say thank you.
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He's got a lot on his mind, Denny.
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And, Dr. Patel, did your clinic perform abortions?
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No. Even though it is legal in Nepal,
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our clinic made the decision not to in order to receive US funding.
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However, we hung up a poster that said,
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"we believe that a woman has a right to control her own body".
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The poster was meant to promote women's rights
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and to prevent rape as well as spousal abuse.
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But the US aid representative Mr. Broden felt the poster was pro-abortion.
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And that was that.
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We lost all of our funding.
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You're looking thin. You should eat more.
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Some of us don't have fancy expense accounts to pay for our meals, hmm?
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You should get one. They're awesome.
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Mr. Crane...
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Yes, yes, yes, yes.
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Doctor, um...
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Patel.
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I have in hand here...
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a copy of the rules that clinics must follow in order to get US aid.
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You, you've seen this manual?
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Yes, I have. But the rules in it are so vague.
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They're left to the interpretation of the US aid representative.
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And that representative is hired by an appointee
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of the president of the United states, is that correct?
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Yes.
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So, doctor, in your expert opinion as a physician,
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who the hell are you to question the president of the United states?
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Objection. Badgering.
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Sustained.
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You know the president is against abortion.
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So in following the rules, it would seem that you would err on the side of caution,
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but you didn't. You put up an inflammatory poster.
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We didn't feel it was inflammatory to protect the rights of women.
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Well, it got me mad.
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You have other clinics that get our money, right?
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Yes.
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Ones who are able to follow the rules?
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Athe point is, Mr. Crane,
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while you allow abortion in your country,
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you are trying to deny it to the rest of the world.
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The people of this country never decided on abortion.
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The elected officials never voted on it.
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It was nine justices of the supreme court, and people are still angry about it.
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Objection, he's not asking a question. He's debating.
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- What are you talking about?
- The reason why...
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- I am not...
- the supreme court exists...
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is to protect people from their own mob mentality,
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- which this issue triggers.
- I, I disagree. Objection. I disagree.
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- Fine. Objection right back at you.
- I, I object to your objections.
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Both objections are sustained. Move on.
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So doctor, uh...
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Patel.
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If you want American money,
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don't kill babies.
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She wasn't trying to.
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This is so disrespectful.
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You don't come home to papa by suing his government.
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You're not my papa.
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Your sperm never touched my egg, and someone has to sue the government.
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Look, our policy denies thousands of people
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lifesaving medical care based on the personal
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religious views of our leader.
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Nothing says democracy like imperialism.
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Why can't you come to town for once and we just toss the pigskin around?
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That's American.
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Dinner?
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8 o'clock.
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Denny Crane.
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Donny Crane.
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Donny Crane.
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We had this settled.
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Upon further review of the agreement, Mr. Roth didn't approve.
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I don't know what game you're playing here,
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but you're not getting another dime from us.
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Please don't address my client directly.
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Talk to me.
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Your client should know that our original offer was more than generous.
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That's not the way I see it.
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13 months ago, Derek went out on a few dates with one Monique Foster,
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otherwise known at your web site, datemistake. com, as anonymous.
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Things didn't work out and he broke up with her.
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A few months later, he met someone else, fell in love and got engaged.
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Things looked rosy.
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Yeah, until anonymous found datemistake. com
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and started posting all these lies about me.
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His fiancee found him prominently displayed on the site and broke up with Derek two days later.
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We all know what happened, Ms. Stanger. We reached the original settlement.
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What we didn't know was the rest of the story.
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Now anytime someone tries to google my name or my company, "Roth's plumbing supply,"
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instead of finding my web site, yours is the first site that comes up.
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My sales have dropped 40% since this posting.
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You could've posted a rebuttal, responded to anonymous' opinions of you.
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But why should I have to?
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You destroy my client's reputation, his business,
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you humiliate him in public, then force him to fix the damages that you've caused.
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That's lika glass company throwing rocks through your window then saying,
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"hey, need to buy a new window?"
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Hey.
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Nancy.
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Derek.
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Denise, right. You know everyone.
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I do.
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May I see you?
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Of course.
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What the hell are you doing with my client?
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Well, Denise, uh,
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I was looking over some of your settlement agreements,
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just to see how things worked around here.
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Some firms are quite formal and sticklers for grammar and language.
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I see around here anything goes, which is fine, I just needed to know.
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What are you doing with my client?
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I looked at the settlement figure you had.
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I thought we could do better.
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I saw Denny was the assigned partner in the case...
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You, you went to Denny behind my back to steal my case?
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Oh, no, no. God, no.
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I just told him my thoughts.
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He was very encouraging and told me to go for it.
256
00:13:41,380 --> 00:13:43,811
So I held the documents from being published, made a few calls,
257
00:13:43,846 --> 00:13:44,917
and well, here we are.
258
00:13:44,952 --> 00:13:48,372
Our client is really, really happy and I think we can ring these people up for some big bucks.
259
00:13:48,407 --> 00:13:49,952
There's only one problem with that, Marlene.
260
00:13:49,987 --> 00:13:51,798
Derek in there doesn't have a case.
261
00:13:51,833 --> 00:13:57,448
The $10,000 settlement I got him was a gift from datemistake. com to make him go away.
262
00:13:57,483 --> 00:13:59,808
I think we could get more, and if you agree with me,
263
00:13:59,843 --> 00:14:03,377
I would love to share this case with you.
264
00:14:03,412 --> 00:14:06,911
We're leaving, as is our original offer.
265
00:14:07,511 --> 00:14:09,726
They'll be back.
266
00:14:47,185 --> 00:14:50,024
She just went to Denny and stole my case.
267
00:14:50,059 --> 00:14:51,632
Just stole it.
268
00:14:51,667 --> 00:14:52,522
Okay.
269
00:14:52,557 --> 00:14:57,256
Did you know that at her old firm they called her "the squid"?
270
00:14:57,257 --> 00:14:58,956
The squid?
271
00:15:00,748 --> 00:15:03,480
The only thing that can kill a shark?
272
00:15:03,515 --> 00:15:06,349
But what really gets me about these people
273
00:15:06,384 --> 00:15:09,184
is how they're so obvious and manipulative.
274
00:15:09,219 --> 00:15:12,578
And you're trying to manipulate our friendship to get me to do something about this.
275
00:15:12,613 --> 00:15:13,963
Yes.
276
00:15:13,998 --> 00:15:16,148
After she stole my case,
277
00:15:16,183 --> 00:15:19,130
she had the nerve to tell me we could "share" it.
278
00:15:19,165 --> 00:15:22,458
Marlene is a first-rate lawyer. She brings in a lot of money.
279
00:15:22,493 --> 00:15:25,034
She almost made partner at Howard and Brock.
280
00:15:25,069 --> 00:15:27,360
We recruited her with the understanding
281
00:15:27,395 --> 00:15:29,276
that if she does as well here as she did there,
282
00:15:29,311 --> 00:15:31,968
she would make partner in the next vote.
283
00:15:32,003 --> 00:15:33,153
And you're okay with that?
284
00:15:33,188 --> 00:15:34,914
I am, yeah.
285
00:15:36,417 --> 00:15:41,491
Look, Denise, you have a very bright future here but...
286
00:15:41,526 --> 00:15:45,255
let me put this as gently as I can.
287
00:15:45,572 --> 00:15:48,054
Toughen up.
288
00:15:58,110 --> 00:15:59,965
Are you seeing anyone?
289
00:16:00,451 --> 00:16:02,274
Not really. You?
290
00:16:02,309 --> 00:16:04,098
I got married.
291
00:16:04,291 --> 00:16:05,183
Married?
292
00:16:05,218 --> 00:16:06,076
For a day.
293
00:16:06,439 --> 00:16:11,149
We tried to contact you for the wedding, but you were nowhere to be found.
294
00:16:12,421 --> 00:16:15,813
Um, question.
295
00:16:16,475 --> 00:16:18,761
Do the girls actually talk?
296
00:16:18,796 --> 00:16:21,024
I'm not quite sure of the etiquette here.
297
00:16:21,059 --> 00:16:24,707
I, I don't think there's a question of etiquette, son.
298
00:16:24,742 --> 00:16:27,044
They're escorts.
299
00:16:27,625 --> 00:16:29,836
So you like flying around the world,
300
00:16:29,871 --> 00:16:32,906
picking up strangers, bringing them to our courts?
301
00:16:32,941 --> 00:16:35,334
It isn't a matter of liking.
302
00:16:35,369 --> 00:16:37,406
I'm trying to make people understand.
303
00:16:37,441 --> 00:16:40,375
All these clinics forced to close their doors
304
00:16:40,410 --> 00:16:43,309
by the simple stroke of the pen of our president.
305
00:16:43,344 --> 00:16:44,794
Now here we are in Boston
306
00:16:44,829 --> 00:16:48,587
where there are eight world-class hospitals within a 10-mile radius.
307
00:16:48,622 --> 00:16:50,742
We don't see it.
308
00:16:50,777 --> 00:16:53,086
I'm hoping Kavita will help us see it.
309
00:16:53,121 --> 00:16:55,396
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
310
00:16:55,431 --> 00:16:56,797
I got the picture now.
311
00:16:56,832 --> 00:17:00,660
This is all about beating your old man, isn't it, son?
312
00:17:01,646 --> 00:17:04,273
For once, this isn't about you.
313
00:17:04,308 --> 00:17:06,453
Then you won't mind losing.
314
00:17:06,488 --> 00:17:08,564
I've got the law on my side.
315
00:17:08,599 --> 00:17:12,497
Plus, the United states government and Denny Crane.
316
00:17:12,532 --> 00:17:15,671
Two equal and unstoppable forces.
317
00:17:15,706 --> 00:17:18,776
And I've got a sympathetic judge
318
00:17:18,811 --> 00:17:22,764
and an honest woman who lost her child.
319
00:17:23,235 --> 00:17:27,002
You always taught me, emotion wins.
320
00:17:27,543 --> 00:17:30,064
Isn't he something?
321
00:17:37,406 --> 00:17:38,504
We're late.
322
00:17:38,539 --> 00:17:39,602
You're late.
323
00:17:39,637 --> 00:17:41,109
I'm not going.
324
00:17:41,349 --> 00:17:42,734
That time of the month?
325
00:17:42,769 --> 00:17:44,352
Come on.
326
00:17:44,560 --> 00:17:46,300
We're having fun.
327
00:17:46,814 --> 00:17:48,801
You're having fun,
328
00:17:48,836 --> 00:17:52,241
sweeping into court trying a monumental case
329
00:17:52,276 --> 00:17:55,127
about which there is much to be thoughtful, much to articulate,
330
00:17:55,162 --> 00:17:57,899
about which you know almost nothing.
331
00:17:57,934 --> 00:17:59,505
And you're using nothing
332
00:17:59,540 --> 00:18:03,681
but easy jokes, a swell suit and blind patriotism.
333
00:18:03,716 --> 00:18:05,536
You're jealous of my son.
334
00:18:05,571 --> 00:18:08,512
Denny, you don't have a son, and the truth is,
335
00:18:08,547 --> 00:18:12,955
you're making a complete ass out of yourself in that courtroom about something you shouldn't.
336
00:18:12,990 --> 00:18:15,021
I don't care to see it or support it.
337
00:18:15,056 --> 00:18:17,689
There's a difference between being an ass and being effective.
338
00:18:17,724 --> 00:18:21,581
When you win, they say you're effective. When you lose, which I never do,
339
00:18:21,616 --> 00:18:24,524
they call you an ass.
340
00:18:25,612 --> 00:18:28,080
I don't need you, Alan.
341
00:18:28,457 --> 00:18:30,808
I don't need anybody.
342
00:18:31,158 --> 00:18:32,924
Never have.
343
00:18:33,089 --> 00:18:35,156
Never will.
344
00:18:44,878 --> 00:18:49,458
I was in charge of the US aid office in the Northeastern region of Nepal.
345
00:18:49,493 --> 00:18:53,824
Part of my job was to enforce the rules of the Mexico city policy.
346
00:18:53,859 --> 00:18:55,125
What policy?
347
00:18:55,160 --> 00:18:57,530
Everything comes with rice and beans.
348
00:18:57,565 --> 00:19:02,302
No, the name of the policy in question is the Mexico city policy.
349
00:19:02,337 --> 00:19:07,039
But opponents erroneously refer to it as the global gag rule.
350
00:19:07,074 --> 00:19:09,042
All right. So what are we doing in Mexico?
351
00:19:09,077 --> 00:19:12,920
That's where president Reagan first enacted the policy in 1984.
352
00:19:12,955 --> 00:19:16,009
It was enacted as a reaction to forced abortions
353
00:19:16,044 --> 00:19:18,280
in China as a means of population control.
354
00:19:18,315 --> 00:19:20,947
Chinese, Mexican, anybody hungry?
355
00:19:20,982 --> 00:19:22,219
Objection.
356
00:19:22,254 --> 00:19:23,456
Sustained.
357
00:19:23,491 --> 00:19:24,981
All right, let's get back to America.
358
00:19:25,016 --> 00:19:29,558
Are you saying that these policies were enacted as a humanitarian gesture?
359
00:19:29,593 --> 00:19:30,540
Yes, it was.
360
00:19:30,575 --> 00:19:36,799
And is it in the United states' discretion to decide which clinics get funding?
361
00:19:36,834 --> 00:19:38,995
As a part of our governmental function, yes.
362
00:19:39,030 --> 00:19:44,141
Determining funding is a purely governmental function.
363
00:19:44,176 --> 00:19:51,408
And, uh, governments are immune under the, uh...
364
00:19:51,708 --> 00:19:54,627
under the, uh...
365
00:19:57,544 --> 00:20:00,553
federal tort claims act.
366
00:20:00,588 --> 00:20:02,317
Right.
367
00:20:03,843 --> 00:20:06,575
Therefore...
368
00:20:06,987 --> 00:20:11,142
you will move for dismissal, and I will again deny the motion.
369
00:20:11,177 --> 00:20:13,179
Move on.
370
00:20:15,852 --> 00:20:18,554
Nothing further, your honor.
371
00:20:29,803 --> 00:20:33,595
You, uh, you say this was done as a humanitarian effort.
372
00:20:33,630 --> 00:20:37,388
However, the rule was instituted by president Reagan,
373
00:20:37,423 --> 00:20:39,832
continued under the first president Bush,
374
00:20:39,867 --> 00:20:43,297
then rescinded during the Clinton administration.
375
00:20:43,332 --> 00:20:44,258
That's true.
376
00:20:44,293 --> 00:20:46,636
And the day George W. Bush took office,
377
00:20:46,671 --> 00:20:52,728
reinstating the global gag rule was one of his first official pieces of business.
378
00:20:52,763 --> 00:20:54,266
That sounds political to me.
379
00:20:54,301 --> 00:20:55,489
Objection, uh...
380
00:20:55,490 --> 00:20:56,707
Sustained.
381
00:20:56,742 --> 00:21:03,550
So the policy was designed to stop abortion as a method of family planning?
382
00:21:03,585 --> 00:21:04,318
Yes.
383
00:21:04,353 --> 00:21:07,347
Even though, by withdrawing funding from those clinics,
384
00:21:07,348 --> 00:21:10,208
they no longer have money for any family planning,
385
00:21:10,243 --> 00:21:14,915
which could stop unwanted pregnancies and the need for abortions?
386
00:21:14,950 --> 00:21:18,264
Mr. Broden, you're not the only US aid representative
387
00:21:18,299 --> 00:21:20,472
that has to deal with this issue, are you?
388
00:21:20,507 --> 00:21:21,777
No, I'm not.
389
00:21:21,812 --> 00:21:26,488
The truth is that our global gag rule is affecting, well...
390
00:21:26,523 --> 00:21:28,119
the globe.
391
00:21:28,154 --> 00:21:31,441
The Balkans, Africa, South America, Asia,
392
00:21:31,476 --> 00:21:37,950
any place dependant on US funding is not allowed to even utter the word "abortion".
393
00:21:37,985 --> 00:21:39,376
Yes, that's true.
394
00:21:39,411 --> 00:21:41,574
So don't you think it's curious
395
00:21:41,609 --> 00:21:44,794
that in our administration's quest to stop abortion,
396
00:21:44,829 --> 00:21:49,667
we're actually restricting free speech, which is a hallmark of democracy?
397
00:21:49,702 --> 00:21:52,577
Objection. Irrelevant and unpatriotic.
398
00:21:52,612 --> 00:21:54,437
Sustained.
399
00:22:24,060 --> 00:22:26,705
Datemistake. com.
400
00:22:26,740 --> 00:22:29,906
Thank goodness technology has progressed to the point
401
00:22:29,941 --> 00:22:35,404
where we no longer have to deal with our issues privately.
402
00:22:35,439 --> 00:22:40,501
So any of my misadventures chronicled in there?
403
00:22:40,536 --> 00:22:41,961
No.
404
00:22:42,372 --> 00:22:43,623
Surprised?
405
00:22:43,658 --> 00:22:44,874
A little.
406
00:22:44,919 --> 00:22:48,435
As to the fact that you checked on me, no.
407
00:22:58,172 --> 00:23:02,711
Just so you know, that little incident would be considered sexual harassment.
408
00:23:02,746 --> 00:23:05,193
You're quite intoxicating. Oops.
409
00:23:05,228 --> 00:23:07,076
Did it again.
410
00:23:07,111 --> 00:23:10,201
But you won't report me to the bosses.
411
00:23:10,236 --> 00:23:11,883
Why not?
412
00:23:11,918 --> 00:23:13,495
Marlene...
413
00:23:13,530 --> 00:23:15,126
while I haven't known you long,
414
00:23:15,161 --> 00:23:18,378
I get the feeling your best work is done behind your colleague's back.
415
00:23:18,413 --> 00:23:21,564
If you were to report me, you certainly wouldn't have warned me first.
416
00:23:21,599 --> 00:23:24,715
And besides, what you'd really like to do is wrap your legs around me
417
00:23:24,750 --> 00:23:26,711
and scream at the top of your lungs.
418
00:23:26,746 --> 00:23:29,370
You're allowed one, aren't you?
419
00:23:29,405 --> 00:23:31,520
Excuse me?
420
00:23:34,960 --> 00:23:38,475
How about I just clear everything off this desk?
421
00:23:38,721 --> 00:23:40,949
We can take care of things right now,
422
00:23:40,984 --> 00:23:44,973
then afterwards, you can write me up and send me on my way.
423
00:23:45,749 --> 00:23:47,053
You're repulsive.
424
00:23:47,088 --> 00:23:48,358
You're right.
425
00:23:48,617 --> 00:23:52,894
And yet I can see in your eyes you're not completely repulsed.
426
00:23:53,230 --> 00:23:56,501
And therein lies the rub.
427
00:24:14,104 --> 00:24:16,572
You can't hold someone liable for expressing an opinion.
428
00:24:16,607 --> 00:24:18,345
And besides, truth is a defense.
429
00:24:18,380 --> 00:24:20,435
There are no objectively false facts here.
430
00:24:20,470 --> 00:24:22,399
Oh, you gotta be kidding me.
431
00:24:22,434 --> 00:24:24,293
Anonymous called me cheap.
432
00:24:24,328 --> 00:24:26,607
Where did you take anonymous to dinner?
433
00:24:26,642 --> 00:24:27,684
Jimmy Changas.
434
00:24:27,719 --> 00:24:30,228
And is it true that you used a coupon?
435
00:24:30,229 --> 00:24:32,765
Uh, that's not cheap. That's smart.
436
00:24:32,800 --> 00:24:34,600
And did you pay?
437
00:24:34,635 --> 00:24:35,335
Yes, I did.
438
00:24:35,336 --> 00:24:37,433
And did she pay, too?
439
00:24:37,468 --> 00:24:38,917
Yes.
440
00:24:38,952 --> 00:24:40,856
He treated her as an equal,
441
00:24:40,891 --> 00:24:43,608
which only proves he's a feminist as well as resourceful.
442
00:24:43,643 --> 00:24:45,390
Anonymous didn't post that on there.
443
00:24:45,425 --> 00:24:47,689
Yeah, and she says I have no sense of humor.
444
00:24:47,724 --> 00:24:49,435
I make jokes all the time.
445
00:24:49,470 --> 00:24:52,542
Those aren't jokes. Those are puns. Puns aren't funny.
446
00:24:52,577 --> 00:24:55,019
Well, that's just your...
447
00:24:55,054 --> 00:24:56,995
opunion, isn't it?
448
00:24:57,030 --> 00:24:58,650
Oh, dear God.
449
00:24:58,685 --> 00:25:00,270
Look, Denise,
450
00:25:00,271 --> 00:25:04,174
we agreed to return to the table in good faith based on your reputation,
451
00:25:04,209 --> 00:25:07,324
but you haven't given us any reason to even go back to the original agreement.
452
00:25:07,359 --> 00:25:09,597
All of the facts are on our side.
453
00:25:09,632 --> 00:25:11,910
But we may have more plaintiffs on our side.
454
00:25:11,945 --> 00:25:14,153
With just a quick search on your web site,
455
00:25:14,188 --> 00:25:17,687
we have found ten men willing to come forward who were defamed with false statements.
456
00:25:17,722 --> 00:25:20,323
It's a fact, not opinion.
457
00:25:21,689 --> 00:25:25,975
You never mentioned these men in your previous negotiations.
458
00:25:26,010 --> 00:25:29,457
We were just focusing on our client, and we were hoping you would be reasonable.
459
00:25:29,492 --> 00:25:31,161
But you're not being reasonable.
460
00:25:31,196 --> 00:25:34,187
So we're expanding this case to a class action suit.
461
00:25:34,222 --> 00:25:36,002
As to the facts...
462
00:25:36,518 --> 00:25:40,186
Brett Doran does not still live with his mother.
463
00:25:40,221 --> 00:25:45,836
Jack Bostick does not have a 1-inch Johnson, even on a cold day.
464
00:25:45,871 --> 00:25:46,898
I could go on.
465
00:25:46,933 --> 00:25:52,324
There are 300,000 more postings and plenty of eager associates to review them.
466
00:25:59,939 --> 00:26:03,809
We'll give you a chance to talk this over. Marlene.
467
00:26:11,684 --> 00:26:14,254
You posted these complaints yourself, didn't you?
468
00:26:14,289 --> 00:26:16,743
I'd have to be an idiot to do that.
469
00:26:16,778 --> 00:26:20,147
So you had someone else do it for you. A sister, a girlfriend?
470
00:26:20,182 --> 00:26:22,754
Denise, while you were out on a date last night,
471
00:26:22,789 --> 00:26:25,609
I was here until 3 o'clock in the morning hunting these guys down.
472
00:26:25,644 --> 00:26:29,637
All it took was some hard work and long hours, but I was willing to do it.
473
00:26:29,672 --> 00:26:30,910
Now we can go to court.
474
00:26:30,945 --> 00:26:33,320
The reward is potentially bigger, but so are the risks.
475
00:26:33,355 --> 00:26:36,679
Or we can go back in there and get a bigger settlement than you originally negotiated.
476
00:26:36,714 --> 00:26:38,637
Your call.
477
00:26:40,607 --> 00:26:42,236
I talk.
478
00:26:42,271 --> 00:26:44,469
You don't say anything.
479
00:26:48,129 --> 00:26:50,788
So, had the chance to talk things over?
480
00:26:50,823 --> 00:26:52,099
As a matter of fact, we have.
481
00:26:52,134 --> 00:26:53,948
And?
482
00:26:54,663 --> 00:26:56,794
We don't like the way you do business, Denise.
483
00:26:56,829 --> 00:26:58,890
And I don't like the way Ms. Moran does business.
484
00:26:58,925 --> 00:27:01,802
Your company trades on the misery and pettiness of others.
485
00:27:01,837 --> 00:27:05,365
Ms. Moran, there are two ways to make money in a business like this.
486
00:27:05,400 --> 00:27:07,468
The first is the short-term cash you make
487
00:27:07,503 --> 00:27:11,340
before someone like us comes in and shuts you down with a major lawsuit.
488
00:27:11,375 --> 00:27:15,266
The other is the real money that comes when you grow your business large enough
489
00:27:15,301 --> 00:27:18,351
that one of the big media companies buys you out.
490
00:27:18,386 --> 00:27:19,998
But nobody's going to buy a company
491
00:27:20,033 --> 00:27:23,447
with a potentially huge class action lawsuit hanging over its head.
492
00:27:23,482 --> 00:27:27,256
And that's why you were willing to settle in the first place.
493
00:27:28,385 --> 00:27:31,974
$30,000 and this all goes away.
494
00:27:41,919 --> 00:27:43,102
$20,000.
495
00:27:43,137 --> 00:27:45,358
- $25,000.
- Done.
496
00:27:51,981 --> 00:27:54,316
I'll draw up the paperwork.
497
00:28:05,047 --> 00:28:07,338
You like hot fudge sundaes?
498
00:28:07,373 --> 00:28:09,629
Ah, who knows what you like?
499
00:28:09,664 --> 00:28:11,002
You're a weirdo.
500
00:28:11,037 --> 00:28:13,522
But my point is, people like hot fudge sundaes.
501
00:28:13,557 --> 00:28:18,239
Well, yesterday in court, I gave them a hot fudge sundae.
502
00:28:18,274 --> 00:28:20,237
I was brilliant.
503
00:28:20,408 --> 00:28:27,369
But after you've had a big, delicious hot fudge sundae,
504
00:28:27,404 --> 00:28:30,059
it's awhile before you want another one. Are you with me so far?
505
00:28:30,094 --> 00:28:30,761
Let's say that I am.
506
00:28:30,796 --> 00:28:33,749
Great. I want you to do the closing argument.
507
00:28:33,750 --> 00:28:34,489
I'm sorry?
508
00:28:34,524 --> 00:28:37,630
I gave the jury a great big Denny Crane sundae
509
00:28:37,631 --> 00:28:44,203
with chocolate sauce and nuts and a cherry on the top, and now they're full.
510
00:28:44,238 --> 00:28:49,103
I can't stuff another one down their throats so soon.
511
00:28:49,138 --> 00:28:51,078
Denny, how'd it really go in court yesterday?
512
00:28:51,113 --> 00:28:52,605
Magnificent.
513
00:28:52,640 --> 00:28:57,074
That being said, if the jury heard from someone that wasn't me,
514
00:28:57,109 --> 00:29:01,508
it might refocus them in a way that would guarantee victory.
515
00:29:01,543 --> 00:29:03,642
Not that victory is in doubt.
516
00:29:03,677 --> 00:29:05,538
I see.
517
00:29:06,002 --> 00:29:09,290
Alan, I need to stay undefeated.
518
00:29:09,325 --> 00:29:13,569
I don't want to look like a fool in, in front of...
519
00:29:13,758 --> 00:29:16,383
I need you to do this.
520
00:29:18,402 --> 00:29:22,110
Friend helping friend.
521
00:29:32,426 --> 00:29:35,315
This case is not about abortion.
522
00:29:35,350 --> 00:29:38,170
It isn't about freedom of speech.
523
00:29:38,205 --> 00:29:42,604
It isn't even about what foreign policy the United states chooses to conduct.
524
00:29:42,639 --> 00:29:47,009
This case is about hypocrisy and the arrogance of power.
525
00:29:47,044 --> 00:29:51,379
Now under the laws of the United states, abortion is legal.
526
00:29:51,414 --> 00:29:56,322
But we tell other countries that if they want US aid,
527
00:29:56,357 --> 00:30:01,195
they cannot perform, encourage or even mention abortion.
528
00:30:01,230 --> 00:30:07,941
We look the world in the eye and say, "do as I say, not as I do".
529
00:30:08,567 --> 00:30:11,924
It's the very essence of hypocrisy.
530
00:30:11,959 --> 00:30:15,382
So the clinic that Kavita Ookharel went to
531
00:30:15,417 --> 00:30:18,723
had had its funding cut off by a US aid representative
532
00:30:18,758 --> 00:30:24,519
who mistakenly believed that a poster in the clinic advocated abortion.
533
00:30:24,554 --> 00:30:28,227
She had been to the clinic before, and everything had been fine.
534
00:30:28,262 --> 00:30:34,848
She had the reasonable expectation that the clinic would continue to function.
535
00:30:35,075 --> 00:30:39,786
How could she, how could anyone be expected to know
536
00:30:39,821 --> 00:30:45,982
that United states policy is as changeable as the political winds?
537
00:30:47,601 --> 00:30:55,380
A political hack made a brutal, thoughtless decision that could not be appealed.
538
00:30:57,644 --> 00:31:00,817
And Ms. Pokharel's baby died.
539
00:31:00,852 --> 00:31:05,528
At a time when we're trying to spread democracy around the globe,
540
00:31:05,563 --> 00:31:08,964
let us show the world that we are not hypocrites.
541
00:31:08,999 --> 00:31:10,406
Let us show the world that
542
00:31:10,441 --> 00:31:14,976
when the government of the Untied States makes a horrible, tragic mistake,
543
00:31:15,011 --> 00:31:22,965
the courts of the United States will make that government pay for it.
544
00:31:48,101 --> 00:31:50,837
I'd like to begin with a cheer.
545
00:31:51,025 --> 00:31:52,833
We're number one.
546
00:31:52,868 --> 00:31:54,676
We're number one.
547
00:31:54,711 --> 00:31:56,449
We're number...
548
00:31:56,484 --> 00:31:58,416
it's not much of a cheer.
549
00:31:58,451 --> 00:32:01,313
It's repetitive and rhythmically uninteresting,
550
00:32:01,348 --> 00:32:04,175
but it does succinctly apply to our country,
551
00:32:04,210 --> 00:32:06,318
and has for quite some time.
552
00:32:06,353 --> 00:32:08,702
In fact, we've been number one so long
553
00:32:08,737 --> 00:32:12,320
that the rest of the world has come to rely on us. And we don't let them down.
554
00:32:12,355 --> 00:32:16,757
We're the world's largest donor of devopment assistance.
555
00:32:16,792 --> 00:32:23,607
All in all, as a nation, we donate over $55 billion a year in foreign aid.
556
00:32:23,642 --> 00:32:25,824
Money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money.
557
00:32:25,859 --> 00:32:29,712
Everything is about money.
558
00:32:29,998 --> 00:32:36,721
But we must never forget that there is a terrible human tragedy,
559
00:32:36,756 --> 00:32:39,821
the center of all this.
560
00:32:41,589 --> 00:32:44,345
Ms. Pokharel lost her child.
561
00:32:44,814 --> 00:32:49,972
The loss of any child's life is an incalculable horror.
562
00:32:51,612 --> 00:32:53,142
It is for that reason
563
00:32:53,177 --> 00:32:59,267
that I would ask you to award the plaintiff piles and piles of money.
564
00:32:59,302 --> 00:33:03,943
After all, we have so much to give away.
565
00:33:03,978 --> 00:33:05,846
Why not?
566
00:33:06,160 --> 00:33:09,520
Piles and piles.
567
00:33:10,151 --> 00:33:12,092
Thank you.
568
00:33:14,459 --> 00:33:16,137
You know...
569
00:33:16,172 --> 00:33:20,589
come to think of it, maybe we don't have that much to give away, do we?
570
00:33:20,624 --> 00:33:25,976
Our national debt is now over $8 trillion.
571
00:33:26,731 --> 00:33:28,743
Eh, who cares?
572
00:33:28,778 --> 00:33:32,446
Give them piles anyway. What the hell?
573
00:33:32,481 --> 00:33:36,079
Never mind that we have 37 million people
574
00:33:36,114 --> 00:33:38,782
living below the poverty line right here at home.
575
00:33:38,817 --> 00:33:43,647
What does it matter that our own literacy rate doesn't even rank in the top 50 countries?
576
00:33:43,682 --> 00:33:46,678
Just keep shelling out the foreign aid.
577
00:33:46,713 --> 00:33:51,514
Does it really bother anyone that we don't have the resources to help the Katrina victims?
578
00:33:51,549 --> 00:33:54,222
Of course not. What's really important is,
579
00:33:54,257 --> 00:33:59,809
that the United States continue to be that big ATM machine to the world,
580
00:33:59,844 --> 00:34:03,097
doling out wads of cash to every country who wants it.
581
00:34:03,132 --> 00:34:04,490
Money, money, money, money, money, money, money.
582
00:34:04,525 --> 00:34:05,880
Never mind we don't have it.
583
00:34:05,915 --> 00:34:08,183
These other nations, they're entitled, aren't they?
584
00:34:08,218 --> 00:34:11,238
Even the ones who vilify us for protecting their freedom,
585
00:34:11,273 --> 00:34:13,560
by the way, listening to plaintiff's counsel,
586
00:34:13,595 --> 00:34:17,345
I couldn't help but concur, how horrible we Americans are.
587
00:34:17,380 --> 00:34:21,177
Okay, so we donate $55 billion a year in foreign aid.
588
00:34:21,212 --> 00:34:24,975
But then we impose certain conditions on those gifts.
589
00:34:25,010 --> 00:34:28,330
Imagine our awfulness. And here, my God,
590
00:34:28,365 --> 00:34:32,692
we promised money to a clinic so long as they promised not to promote abortion.
591
00:34:32,727 --> 00:34:35,468
So they did. How dare we not give them the money just the same?
592
00:34:35,503 --> 00:34:37,890
We should've given them that and then some.
593
00:34:37,925 --> 00:34:40,277
We have a duty to provide these handouts.
594
00:34:40,312 --> 00:34:43,015
we have an absolute duty,
595
00:34:43,050 --> 00:34:46,075
'cause we are the United States of America.
596
00:34:46,110 --> 00:34:48,969
And these other nations, well, they're entitled,
597
00:34:49,004 --> 00:34:52,783
whether they keep their promises or not.
598
00:35:22,816 --> 00:35:25,169
Our settlement check came in. 25 Gs.
599
00:35:25,204 --> 00:35:26,958
I'm just glad everything worked out.
600
00:35:26,993 --> 00:35:27,976
Me, too.
601
00:35:27,977 --> 00:35:31,877
But for all the strum and drang, we really did make a pretty good team.
602
00:35:31,912 --> 00:35:33,976
I'm so glad we're not like those women in the workplace
603
00:35:34,011 --> 00:35:36,761
who feel compelled to compete with every pair of legs in a skirt.
604
00:35:36,796 --> 00:35:37,952
You know, Marlene,
605
00:35:37,987 --> 00:35:40,051
you are not gonna get very far at Crane, Poole & Schmidt
606
00:35:40,086 --> 00:35:42,054
pulling the kind of crap you did with this case.
607
00:35:42,089 --> 00:35:46,166
Denise, the only crap I pulled was to believe in this case and invest myself in it.
608
00:35:46,201 --> 00:35:47,869
That's why we more than doubled our money.
609
00:35:47,904 --> 00:35:51,483
And I think that's why they hired me at Crane, Poole & Schmidt.
610
00:35:51,828 --> 00:35:54,436
Why did they hire you?
611
00:35:55,190 --> 00:35:57,856
Anyway, see you later.
612
00:35:59,825 --> 00:36:02,090
Squid.
613
00:36:03,029 --> 00:36:04,938
Has the jury reached a verdict?
614
00:36:04,973 --> 00:36:06,236
We have, your honor.
615
00:36:06,271 --> 00:36:07,166
How say you?
616
00:36:07,167 --> 00:36:11,541
In the matter of Kavita Pokharel vs. the United States,
617
00:36:11,576 --> 00:36:14,781
we find in favor of...
618
00:36:14,816 --> 00:36:17,908
the United States of America.
619
00:36:17,943 --> 00:36:20,638
Thank you for your service. We're adjourned.
620
00:36:20,673 --> 00:36:22,521
Still undefeated.
621
00:36:22,556 --> 00:36:24,576
I think my closing made all the difference.
622
00:36:24,611 --> 00:36:28,041
Denny, if I wrote it and delivered it, how did it become your closing?
623
00:36:28,076 --> 00:36:32,045
My case, I'm the lead attorney and, of course, I'm...
624
00:36:32,080 --> 00:36:32,806
Yes, you are.
625
00:36:32,841 --> 00:36:34,848
the United States of America.
626
00:36:34,849 --> 00:36:36,168
Of course, we'll appeal.
627
00:36:36,203 --> 00:36:37,488
Of course, you'll lose.
628
00:36:38,737 --> 00:36:40,592
Dinner, Denny?
629
00:36:40,627 --> 00:36:42,448
Delighted, Donny.
630
00:36:51,137 --> 00:36:53,613
Son, let me ask you something.
631
00:36:54,964 --> 00:36:57,271
These lost causes...
632
00:36:57,306 --> 00:36:59,578
why do you do it?
633
00:37:00,310 --> 00:37:04,187
I suppose the struggle gives me comfort.
634
00:37:05,011 --> 00:37:07,505
Why do you do what you do?
635
00:37:08,885 --> 00:37:11,371
I don't actually remember.
636
00:37:12,289 --> 00:37:16,790
It may have something to do with the massive amounts of money I make.
637
00:37:22,635 --> 00:37:25,369
My mom died...
638
00:37:26,303 --> 00:37:28,939
uh, a few months ago.
639
00:37:28,974 --> 00:37:32,343
I, I was gonna tell you the other night, but the...
640
00:37:32,378 --> 00:37:34,570
well...
641
00:37:35,177 --> 00:37:39,371
hookers made it a little uncomfortable.
642
00:37:44,168 --> 00:37:46,899
I went looking for my real father.
643
00:37:47,413 --> 00:37:49,072
And?
644
00:37:49,853 --> 00:37:51,907
Lives in Maine.
645
00:37:51,942 --> 00:37:54,348
He works on a cranberry bog.
646
00:37:54,383 --> 00:37:56,184
Good man.
647
00:37:56,219 --> 00:37:58,480
He wears waders.
648
00:37:58,515 --> 00:38:03,882
Most days, he's up to his knees in water and little red fruits.
649
00:38:04,083 --> 00:38:06,722
Sounds like a very moist man.
650
00:38:11,553 --> 00:38:13,886
He's not you.
651
00:38:15,757 --> 00:38:18,780
Not the man I imagined growing up.
652
00:38:20,301 --> 00:38:26,542
Not the man I pictured in my mind when I was studying in law school.
653
00:38:27,344 --> 00:38:29,950
So you're all alone.
654
00:38:31,137 --> 00:38:33,358
Yepper.
655
00:38:36,258 --> 00:38:37,931
So...
656
00:38:39,004 --> 00:38:42,683
any interest in being my fake father again?
657
00:38:44,983 --> 00:38:48,718
I never stopped being your fake father, son.
658
00:39:03,075 --> 00:39:04,835
Good night, Mr. Crane.
659
00:39:04,870 --> 00:39:06,596
Good night, Ms. Stanger.
660
00:39:15,236 --> 00:39:18,993
Your closing was very convincing, almost as if you believed it.
661
00:39:19,028 --> 00:39:20,672
I did.
662
00:39:21,393 --> 00:39:22,771
You do love America.
663
00:39:22,806 --> 00:39:24,124
Of course I do.
664
00:39:24,125 --> 00:39:27,947
I didn't agree with the string our government attached to the money in this case,
665
00:39:27,982 --> 00:39:31,805
but we have every right to attach strings to the funds we give.
666
00:39:31,840 --> 00:39:33,929
That's my boy.
667
00:39:35,031 --> 00:39:38,319
I'm your friend, Denny, but I'm not your boy.
668
00:39:38,354 --> 00:39:42,506
That's what troubles me, this notion that we have to take sides in this country now,
669
00:39:42,541 --> 00:39:46,533
you're either with us or against us, Republican or Democrat,
670
00:39:46,568 --> 00:39:48,391
red state or blue state.
671
00:39:48,426 --> 00:39:51,625
I can't believe I live in a blue state.
672
00:39:51,660 --> 00:39:56,179
No one looks at an issue and struggles over the right position to take anymore.
673
00:39:56,214 --> 00:39:58,991
And yet, our ability to reason is what makes us human.
674
00:39:59,026 --> 00:40:02,261
Lately we seem so willing to forfeit that gift of reason
675
00:40:02,296 --> 00:40:05,496
in exchange for the good feeling of belonging to a group.
676
00:40:05,531 --> 00:40:09,723
We all just take the position of our team.
677
00:40:09,758 --> 00:40:12,465
I've certainly done it and hated myself for it.
678
00:40:12,500 --> 00:40:15,361
I've never heard you make so much sense.
679
00:40:15,396 --> 00:40:19,633
I make sense all the time, you just listen intermittently.
680
00:40:20,760 --> 00:40:22,825
Could be.
681
00:40:26,408 --> 00:40:28,898
I like that new girl.
682
00:40:28,933 --> 00:40:30,301
Marlene.
683
00:40:30,336 --> 00:40:32,333
She's got an aggressive eye.
684
00:40:32,368 --> 00:40:35,451
Bet she's magnificent in bed.
685
00:40:35,486 --> 00:40:39,960
Oh, I bet she's at her best back against the wall.
686
00:40:44,392 --> 00:40:46,788
I can't wait till next week.
54181
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