All language subtitles for Theatre Macabre. s01e13.The Barrel Organ.eng

(eerie music)

(lively organ music)

- Greetings, music lovers.

I'm Christopher Lee.

I must apologize for the
absence of my monkey,

but he hates music.

Rather like old Thomas in the story,

"The Barrel Organ" by Bolesiaw Prus.

The thing that prevented old
Thomas from breaking into song

was the fact he couldn't
find the right key.

He didn't have an ear for it,

until he met a certain young lady.

Before that, he had the reputation

of being the meanest man in town,

a condition which cannot
be cured even by old age.

But who should blame him,
when the organ grinder played

in such a haunting manner?

Barely the ghost of a
resemblance to the original tune.

(lively organ music)

- I told you before, get out!

Go on, and don't come back.

Go on, get out.

- [Man]
Casimir?

Come up to apartment C.

- Coming, sir.

- Perhaps you should listen to me.

Good music is my life.

It is only because I love
things musical

that I spurn bad music.

And the worst noise I find

is that really awful
barrel organ instrument.

That really is a terrible torture.

It has an especially
revolting, repetitive quality.

I sometimes think that
it could easily make

a sensitive--
Oh, watch out!

"Pompous with the Mermaid,"

and you throw it about
as if it was valueless.

Have you no respect for art, hm?

Please take more care.

One is always surrounded by
a mass of ignorant idiots.

What is it I've forgotten?

I'm meant to sign something.

- The papers for the apartment.

- Ah, yes.

First, and above all, I
want it clearly stated

that my interdiction
against organ grinders

completely affect this tenancy.

Young man.

Here.
- Thank you, sir.

- You be sure that you
don't damage my Bernstein.

A barrel organ.

Why we have to have
these instruments

is always beyond
human understanding.

These papers of yours...
When you have inserted a clause

that covers my objection
to barrel organs,

I shall be more than happy
to sign them, and not before.

(door slams)

- He seems to be a very rich man.

- He's quite something.

He's a Casanova.

I'll bet you he'll make a pass at us.

- Oh, I look for them, for how else

would a simple maiden
like me catch a husband?

It seems that you have
to woo that type of man

before you have a chance.

- So many women after him.

You'll have to be very
clever to get near him.

- That's because of his
enormous personality and charm.

- Well, I warned you about him.

(women murmuring)

(women giggling)

Come along.

- Would you care to sign now, sir?

- Leave it and go.

(somber music)

PaveL

PaveH

- [Pavel]
You called me, sir?

- Get these pictures hung.

I want all the furniture covered up.

You can use the dust sheets.

- [Pavel]
I shall see to it, sir.

- The housewarming party,

I've decided to put it off, Pavel.

- Off, sir?

- Yes.

- I'm sorry there's no party.

- It means that I object
to being laughed at.

It's time that we put the
sheets on the furniture.

(emotional music)

- This is a most interesting book, sir.

- Ah, and what is this?

- "The Table of Plenty."

It is by Van Buren.

The pupil of Linda Stein.

- And that?

- Dust.

- It seems to me that you
both can't stay,

so you must find an answer
to the problem of the dust.

If the dust remains,
you start packing.

- You've made the problem's
answer simple, sir.

I'm staying.

- How about making a trip
to town, sir?

Everybody asks what's
happened to you.

Amazing how anxious they are.

You'd be surprised how many
people have asked how you were.

If you were unwell,
I'm happy to tell them

that as your barber,
I see you every day

and you are well.

I think still many of them wonder

why you have deserted
the girl now, the ladies.

- If you must know,

it's just that I am writing my biography.

- That's most interesting.

You must have lots of material.

Cases and lawsuits.

Head up a little.
Look, there.

I must say, though,
that there's never

a trace of a woman around you.

You're very discreet.

Still, what does one need?

Oh. yes indeed, not so
much as a handkerchief

or a pair of stockings to see.

Unlike some.

One of the gentlemen I attend to
had a souvenir in his room,

a COFSEt.

Many of the gentlemen
have little affairs

of the most peculiar sort.

One of them uses a taxi.

Uncomfortable, but safe.

Oh, but the officers are
the worst by far.

Pardon.

That Colonel Grant.

Well, I called to shave him
last Tuesday.

I found him in bed with a
couple of beautiful young girls.

After they left, my hand shook

so I couldn't even shave him.

But I digress.

Would you consider dying your hair?

- No, I prefer it natural.

- Yes, but of course.

By now, I should know your
dislike of pretention.

So.

May I, sir?

I thank you, sir.

- You're welcome.

- Oh, anything of interest, sir?

What are those papers?

- Points of law, all
requiring an opinion.

I'm afraid since retiring
from my practice,

all these legal papers do for
me now is to pass the time.

- Yes, I meant did you have
any cases of...

How shall I put it?
Moral hanky panky?

Pardon me.

I must be going.

Good day, sir.

Until tomorrow.

- And what's been happening
while I've been busy?

- A woman and her child
moved in this morning

to the vacant apartment facing us.

The child is reported to have said

she found the place depressing.

(gentle piano music)

- Depressing?

Depressing.

That's the fourth time you've
put sugar in my coffee.

- I apologize humbly.

(crash)

- You clumsy fool!
- I'm sorry, I didn't mean to.

- You stupid idiot!
- It was an accident, sir.

- An accident?

You're always having accidents.

Look what you've done.

No one will ever mend-

- I'll do my best to replace it.

(gentle music)

(clock chiming)

- I can't put out of my
mind that little child

saying she found this
place depressing.

I noticed that their windows
were all shut up, too.

- Maybe they'll open them later.

It's a beautiful night, sir.

Quite like summer.

- All of us should have fresh air,

especially small children.

The mother's a dressmaker.

(sewing machine whirring)

- Mama?

- What is it, dear?

- Do you have to be special
to want to play in the yard?

- But of course you don't.

You can take your dolly
out there tomorrow.

- Perhaps there'll be music.

- Yes.

- Mama?

Will I ever see you?

- Yes, maybe.

We must face the facts before us.

It may be...

Or it may not.

Time to sleep now.

(tender music)

- Mama?
- What is it, darling?

- I pray to see your face.

- Maybe soon, if you
keep saying your prayers,

God will hear you.

- You're beautiful.

(dog barking)

- Any tools today?

Any tools today?

- No, no, you just get out of here.

I'm tired of it.
Out you go, out, out, out.

- Mama, would it be wrong
if I played for a little?

Can I play out there?

- Yes, of course you may.

- [Girl] That man in the
yard with the loud voice,

he's always sending people away from here.

- I know.

- [Girl]
He doesn't like music.

He sends everyone away, Mama.

- What's the matter?

- I want my dolly.

- She was sitting up here.

- How I do wish the music man
would come back, Mama.

(eerie music)

- The poor soul.

Such a fine little girl.

(Thomas murmuring)

That's very suspicious.

There is a definite disparity.

It's most interesting.

Perhaps you'll take a look at it.

Just look at the signatures.

Well?

Come along, what do you see?

- Well if I'm to tell the truth,

I see that someone

has used two different sorts
of ink, sir.

(Thomas laughs)

- You're a stupid idiot.

Hardly surprising the inks differ.

Surely you can see the signatures

are more than three years different?

And take away that coffee.

I don't want any coffee.

- But the doctor said that-

- Then just leave it.

Well, what is it now?

- I wish to inform you, sir,
that the barber is here.

- So, so, he's always here.

This is becoming ridiculous.

He knows I am working now,
he knows that!

You can shave me from now on.

- I might be silly, sir,
but I'm certain

of the aim of the barber,
but not of my own.

- Afraid, are we?

You're useless.

Afraid you'll hurt me?

(baby crying)

"Depressing."
What a numb word

for a little girl to use.
"Depressing."

She must stay at home.

- Will you need the barber?

- I suppose so.

A lovely, sunny day.

"Depressing."

How strange, the magical
feelings you have as a child,

only to become adult and lose them.

(tender music)

Oh! Oh, she mustn't.

She's looking full at the sun.

If only somebody was by
to warn her.

She ought to be told off.

She might seriously injure herself, eh?

- Why? The child's blind.

- [Thomas]
Blind?

(doll clatters)

(eerie music)

- Come along in now, darling.

We'll have a nice cup of tea.

- The barber, sir?

- All right, fetch him.

- It's very nice out, sir.

A beautiful day.

But yesterday was awful.

After I left you, sir, I had
the most terrible experience.

Simply horrid,
I tell you, sir.

What happened was,
when I left you

I decided that it might be a nice idea

to go out with a couple of young ladies,

friends of mine, on a picnic.

But the whole afternoon
got completely out of hand.

Believe me,
I've never been so miserable.

Morally indefensible.

Will you please sit down, sir?

If you please.

We had barely begun our picnic

when out popped a major
in the dragoons.

A major.

He implied that I was on
familiar terms

with one of the girls,

who he said was a very
special friend of his.

Then you may imagine my surprise

when he started to make
the most awful innuendos

about me and the poor girl,

but I was very...

Are you sure you won't dye it?

For the sake of fashion?

- No. No no no,
I don't want to.

- Stupid of me, sir.

Knowing how you detest all pretense.

I'm a fool.

By the way, sir, I don't
know if you'd be interested.

I have the ability to
introduce to you,

but only of course in the
discreetest way,

the most beautiful creature.

A beautiful big pair of plenty
to get hold of in the winter.

And for a very small
outlay, practically nothing,

merely a gift now and then, a small gift.

A very few, and she
remains faithful to you.

It's that simple.

(barrel organ music)

- Pavel!

PaveH

That appalling sound is
nothing short of torture!

(girl clapping)

- You object.

I thought my master forbade
any barrel organs outside here,

and he meant what he said about it.

This man's barrel organ.

I'm surprised you don't
play the bloody thing.

(barrel organ music)

(girl clapping)

I suppose you like to cause trouble.

- Now, what am I going to do?

Pay attention to me.

- Yes, sir, I shall pay
attention, yes.

- Now let us just recap the situation.

I seem to remember that
it was my intention

to give you a small indemnity

if you did what I wanted of you.

- Ya.

- That was so you'd keep
offensive persons

outside the courtyard.
But what happened--

- Jacob.

My intentions remain exactly the same.

You mustn't let me down.

- What that means is that
this time you--

- Now that's enough.

I shall be rewarding you

for how many barrel
organs a day you bring in.

- What?

- I shall be the most outnumbered

lover of music in the entire city.

- It's nonsense to me.

- Well, it's not to me.

Just see you obey,
that's all I want.

- Barrel organs,
sir, yes.

- Meanwhile, Jacob, get me
my coat, hat, and gloves.

Lots of barrel organs, Casimir.

(barrel organ music)

Tell me, who's the best oculist?

- At the eye hospital.

- I know, who?
- Dr. Portovina.

- Dr. Portovina.

(barrel organ music)

- Which proves that music
hath charms

to soothe the savage breast.

(ominous music)