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1
00:00:00,400 --> 00:00:02,640
This is a family business.
the next logical leaders
2
00:00:02,769 --> 00:00:04,099
would be Amber and myself.
3
00:00:04,270 --> 00:00:06,440
Amber: Jesse and I are teaming
up on a new business venture.
4
00:00:06,606 --> 00:00:07,506
Bam!
5
00:00:07,607 --> 00:00:10,837
Me and VJ are also
strongly betrothed.
6
00:00:10,944 --> 00:00:12,554
Not a real family;
no kids.
7
00:00:12,612 --> 00:00:14,052
Slam, I like that one!
8
00:00:14,114 --> 00:00:15,624
♪
9
00:00:15,682 --> 00:00:17,552
A reporter
is in our backyard.
10
00:00:17,617 --> 00:00:18,947
You don't know
who you're messin' with.
11
00:00:19,019 --> 00:00:20,949
I'm on the way up,
and you on the way down.
12
00:00:21,121 --> 00:00:22,391
(Girls scream)
13
00:00:22,455 --> 00:00:23,715
Let's go save
our family.
14
00:00:23,957 --> 00:00:30,027
♪
15
00:00:41,141 --> 00:00:43,241
Your pal says he takes a magic
pill that gives him
16
00:00:43,309 --> 00:00:45,179
an extra two inches off the tee,
and buddy,
17
00:00:45,211 --> 00:00:47,211
that's more suspect
than my hairline.
18
00:00:47,247 --> 00:00:49,547
Turns out she said "celibate"
and not "selling it",
19
00:00:49,582 --> 00:00:51,482
so you lost a couple teeth but
you got to keep your 20 bucks.
20
00:00:51,518 --> 00:00:53,818
You put that magic pill in with
your pal's vitamins
21
00:00:53,853 --> 00:00:55,723
and that isn't even the first
time he was rock hard
22
00:00:55,755 --> 00:00:57,415
at the Santa Claus Parade.
23
00:00:57,490 --> 00:00:59,690
Folks on the news can't keep
telling me how bad gaslighting
24
00:00:59,726 --> 00:01:01,386
is without showing me at least
one blue angel,
25
00:01:01,428 --> 00:01:02,658
like, I'll
be the judge there.
26
00:01:02,695 --> 00:01:04,355
You know two things
for damn sure,
27
00:01:04,397 --> 00:01:06,867
and that's life is a highway
and Twitter is a cult.
28
00:01:06,900 --> 00:01:08,570
You and your sweetie aren't
Facebook official anymore,
29
00:01:08,601 --> 00:01:10,741
because she says she wants a man
who will spoil her.
30
00:01:10,770 --> 00:01:12,340
Must've forgotten that hotel
room in Niagara Falls
31
00:01:12,372 --> 00:01:14,112
with a fucking heart-shaped
hot tub in it.
32
00:01:14,174 --> 00:01:16,384
Your steak came out just a wee
bit too well done,
33
00:01:16,409 --> 00:01:18,379
had you shaking the entire
fucking four-top
34
00:01:18,411 --> 00:01:20,111
trying to cut through
the cocksucker.
35
00:01:20,180 --> 00:01:21,510
Your gal decided to get her
first IUD
36
00:01:21,548 --> 00:01:23,418
after you got
your third DUI.
37
00:01:23,450 --> 00:01:26,020
Your pal got a piece of gum
stuck between his butt cheeks
38
00:01:26,052 --> 00:01:28,252
one time, and
isn't that curious?
39
00:01:28,288 --> 00:01:30,118
They say that sex sells,
but it must be sold out
40
00:01:30,190 --> 00:01:32,030
'cause I can't find
a lick of it on Kijiji.
41
00:01:32,058 --> 00:01:34,428
You stopped going to church,
'cause like,
42
00:01:34,461 --> 00:01:36,931
well it's just a wee bit too hot
in there, but...
43
00:01:36,963 --> 00:01:39,703
you can pray for a new Shania
Twain album from home.
44
00:01:39,732 --> 00:01:41,372
You got a pal that likes to air
his dirty laundry,
45
00:01:41,401 --> 00:01:42,901
and there's no telling how many
people heard him say
46
00:01:42,936 --> 00:01:44,596
he's got the clap, but they
didn't need to shut down
47
00:01:44,637 --> 00:01:46,107
the water park
the whole fucking day.
48
00:01:46,139 --> 00:01:47,769
You heard people saying
the Dos Equis guy
49
00:01:47,807 --> 00:01:50,107
is supposed to be the most
interesting man on Earth,
50
00:01:50,143 --> 00:01:51,783
but most interesting woman for
sure goes
51
00:01:51,811 --> 00:01:55,051
to the Asian Zamboni driver who
just beat you at horseshoes
52
00:01:55,081 --> 00:01:57,051
and loves Insane Clown Posse.
53
00:01:57,083 --> 00:01:58,723
Bret the Hitman Hart is a
Canadian icon,
54
00:01:58,751 --> 00:02:00,551
so you had to put your little
cousint' in a sharp shooter
55
00:02:00,587 --> 00:02:02,087
for calling him
"Bret the Hitman Fart".
56
00:02:02,122 --> 00:02:04,392
There's a new dentist in town
that does teeth whitening,
57
00:02:04,424 --> 00:02:06,334
so now you've got the awkward
task of telling
58
00:02:06,392 --> 00:02:08,962
one or two pals their teeth
are yellow as duck feet.
59
00:02:08,995 --> 00:02:11,255
Your one buddy who ruins the
bathroom at every house party
60
00:02:11,297 --> 00:02:12,827
he's at is the same buddy that
looks down on you
61
00:02:12,899 --> 00:02:14,099
for pissing outside.
62
00:02:14,134 --> 00:02:16,574
You had your first prostate exam
the other day,
63
00:02:16,603 --> 00:02:18,143
which is no picnic, but even
that's better
64
00:02:18,171 --> 00:02:19,571
than being asked
if you're "pissy".
65
00:02:19,606 --> 00:02:21,436
Your friend Sean Amsing still
ain't getting the glory
66
00:02:21,474 --> 00:02:23,084
he deserves for calling
his Halloween party
67
00:02:23,109 --> 00:02:24,739
Premature Ejacu-lantern.
68
00:02:24,777 --> 00:02:27,307
Gals who tuck their phones into
their bras on the dance floor
69
00:02:27,347 --> 00:02:29,317
cannot be knocked out.
70
00:02:29,349 --> 00:02:32,589
But gals who take their shoes
off on the dance floor
71
00:02:32,619 --> 00:02:33,749
will try.
72
00:02:33,786 --> 00:02:34,386
♪
73
00:02:46,166 --> 00:02:48,636
WAYNE: Previously on
Letterkenny...
74
00:02:48,668 --> 00:02:52,408
Connor. Darien.
Quick the banner.
75
00:02:52,472 --> 00:02:54,012
KATY: 2cock Chakur?
76
00:02:54,040 --> 00:02:55,540
They just call
us 2cock.
77
00:02:55,575 --> 00:02:58,135
- Tassie.
- Cassie.
78
00:02:58,178 --> 00:02:59,548
- I'm Tassie.
- I'm Cassie.
79
00:02:59,579 --> 00:03:01,209
I'm sick of
these dudes already.
80
00:03:01,247 --> 00:03:03,647
It's like
the shotguns are cocks.
81
00:03:03,683 --> 00:03:04,553
(Both laughing)
82
00:03:04,584 --> 00:03:07,754
- Let's go then.
- Let's do this.
83
00:03:07,820 --> 00:03:09,190
"NDN NRG"?
84
00:03:09,222 --> 00:03:11,892
Your logo looks just Bit & Bites
like the BROdude logo.
85
00:03:11,925 --> 00:03:13,155
No.
86
00:03:13,193 --> 00:03:14,433
Tastes the same too.
87
00:03:14,494 --> 00:03:15,864
Did you come to sue
the mukluks off me?
88
00:03:15,895 --> 00:03:19,525
How about I read some
Ancestry.com results instead?
89
00:03:19,566 --> 00:03:21,826
Your rez's rules state
that in order to play
90
00:03:21,868 --> 00:03:23,838
for the Native team,
you must be Native.
91
00:03:23,870 --> 00:03:25,740
Reilly, Jones and Shore,
92
00:03:25,772 --> 00:03:28,682
the DNA submitted for all three
of them was the same.
93
00:03:28,708 --> 00:03:30,778
The directions said to spit
in a cup and send it in.
94
00:03:30,843 --> 00:03:32,583
So we spit in the cup
like the directions said.
95
00:03:32,612 --> 00:03:35,082
- Who sent it in?
- Shoresy!
96
00:03:35,114 --> 00:03:36,384
SHORESY:
Fucking Pokémons,
97
00:03:36,416 --> 00:03:38,076
gotta catch 'em all,
you piece of shit.
98
00:03:38,117 --> 00:03:42,187
I must revoke the Kerry County
Eagles championship status.
99
00:03:42,222 --> 00:03:45,192
No!
100
00:03:45,225 --> 00:03:48,185
That cup belonged to
the Three River Lakers.
101
00:03:48,228 --> 00:03:50,198
Fucking Three Rivers.
102
00:03:50,230 --> 00:03:51,600
(Crowd gasping)
103
00:03:51,631 --> 00:03:54,431
- Katy, I have a new boyfriend.
- Oh?
104
00:03:54,467 --> 00:03:56,197
I wanted you
to hear it from me.
105
00:03:56,236 --> 00:03:58,096
'Kay.
106
00:03:58,137 --> 00:04:03,737
♪
107
00:04:11,718 --> 00:04:13,418
So, like, what would you say
108
00:04:13,453 --> 00:04:15,053
is the best donny
you've ever had, boys?
109
00:04:15,088 --> 00:04:17,888
- Like the best Donnie Wahlberg.
- Like, the best Donny Osmond.
110
00:04:17,924 --> 00:04:19,534
Like the best brook
you've ever donnied.
111
00:04:19,559 --> 00:04:21,129
Like the best Jungle Brook.
112
00:04:21,194 --> 00:04:22,564
When Dierks came back
to Letterkenny.
113
00:04:22,595 --> 00:04:25,195
- Boughts and paids fors.
- Heard about that.
114
00:04:25,231 --> 00:04:26,371
You are the king of sucker.
115
00:04:26,399 --> 00:04:28,199
That's high praise coming
from you, bud.
116
00:04:28,234 --> 00:04:30,074
Thinks we all gots in
a suckers on that ones.
117
00:04:30,103 --> 00:04:31,373
Oh, I got in a good sucker.
118
00:04:31,404 --> 00:04:32,474
But you are
the king of sucker.
119
00:04:32,538 --> 00:04:33,568
Fucking him or me.
120
00:04:33,606 --> 00:04:35,206
I'd sucker you in your sleep,
boys.
121
00:04:35,241 --> 00:04:37,041
Eat, sleep, sucker, boys.
122
00:04:37,076 --> 00:04:38,206
But you are the king of sucker.
123
00:04:38,244 --> 00:04:39,584
Put a fucking shirt on.
124
00:04:39,612 --> 00:04:41,382
- Well, how do you do it?
- Same way you do it.
125
00:04:41,414 --> 00:04:42,724
Well, you do it more
than I do it.
126
00:04:42,749 --> 00:04:44,649
Wanna just fuckin' whip our
dicks out here or...
127
00:04:44,717 --> 00:04:46,447
You never sucker a guy in
a one-on-one.
128
00:04:46,486 --> 00:04:47,786
That's dishonourable.
129
00:04:47,820 --> 00:04:49,620
Well, unless he previously
suckered me first, eh,
130
00:04:49,656 --> 00:04:50,886
you fuckin'
nut-tugger.
131
00:04:50,923 --> 00:04:52,563
In a one-on-one, you wanna
follow the steps.
132
00:04:52,592 --> 00:04:54,732
What, like square off, scrap.
133
00:04:54,761 --> 00:04:57,661
Well, square off,
scrap, shake hands.
134
00:04:57,730 --> 00:05:00,070
Square off,
scrap, maybe shake hands.
135
00:05:00,099 --> 00:05:03,239
Nah, square off, scrap, shake
hands, maybes haves a beers.
136
00:05:03,269 --> 00:05:04,839
Ideally you're having a beer.
137
00:05:04,904 --> 00:05:07,474
- Yeah that'd be most desirable.
- Y'know, in a perfect world.
138
00:05:07,507 --> 00:05:09,437
There's no perfect world in
a brawl though, boys.
139
00:05:09,475 --> 00:05:11,835
Yeah, hundy p, no rules
in a big donny-b, boys.
140
00:05:11,911 --> 00:05:13,251
No rules ever for the king
of sucker.
141
00:05:13,279 --> 00:05:14,409
You better settle
down over there
142
00:05:14,447 --> 00:05:15,917
or I'm gonna come talk to ya.
143
00:05:15,948 --> 00:05:18,748
Well, even numbers in a brawl
is technically one-on-one.
144
00:05:18,785 --> 00:05:21,445
- Fuck, look at you JB!
- What's next, long division?
145
00:05:21,487 --> 00:05:22,917
Fucking Roman
numerals over here.
146
00:05:22,955 --> 00:05:24,615
He'll be multiplying fractions
in no time.
147
00:05:24,657 --> 00:05:27,457
Hey, what's the co-efficient
of X, ya fuckin' walnut?
148
00:05:27,493 --> 00:05:29,433
King of suckers.
149
00:05:29,462 --> 00:05:31,002
Look, I'd already suckered
him once.
150
00:05:31,030 --> 00:05:32,970
DARY: Yeah, you suckered him a
while back there, good buddy.
151
00:05:32,999 --> 00:05:34,629
WAYNE: So, it's his own fault
he didn't learn
152
00:05:34,667 --> 00:05:35,937
from the first sucker.
- Fools me once.
153
00:05:35,968 --> 00:05:37,768
At a certain point it's his own
responsibility
154
00:05:37,804 --> 00:05:39,844
he got himself suckered again,
isn't it?
155
00:05:40,940 --> 00:05:43,440
Now, if you ever hit me and
I find out about it.
156
00:05:43,476 --> 00:05:45,176
Eat, sleep,
sucker, boys.
157
00:05:48,781 --> 00:05:50,781
What's this about
a sucker?
158
00:05:50,817 --> 00:05:55,147
(Chuckling)
Story time, Dickskin.
159
00:05:55,188 --> 00:05:57,388
Dickens.
160
00:05:57,457 --> 00:05:58,687
GAIL: Everybody, out! Go!
161
00:05:58,725 --> 00:06:00,785
You too, get out. Quicker.
162
00:06:00,827 --> 00:06:02,557
What do you think this is,
a parade?
163
00:06:02,628 --> 00:06:03,798
Get out of my bar now!
164
00:06:03,830 --> 00:06:05,730
You too, get out of my bar!
Go right now!
165
00:06:05,798 --> 00:06:08,298
You in the curly hair...
(Gail continues yelling)
166
00:06:08,334 --> 00:06:10,974
...All of you,
take your hat and go!
167
00:06:12,405 --> 00:06:13,705
Come on, come on, come on!
168
00:06:16,676 --> 00:06:19,146
- Buddy?
- Hey, buddy.
169
00:06:19,178 --> 00:06:21,078
- Think we got a problem, buddy.
- I know, buddy.
170
00:06:21,147 --> 00:06:22,747
Just lost a 'ship.
171
00:06:22,815 --> 00:06:24,645
No, I know, buddy, but I think
we might've--
172
00:06:24,684 --> 00:06:28,254
I think we might've lost Cassie
and Tassie too.
173
00:06:28,321 --> 00:06:32,061
Tassie!
- Cassie!
174
00:06:32,091 --> 00:06:33,831
Yeah, buddy, either we finally
called them
175
00:06:33,860 --> 00:06:35,900
by their right names,
or they're not here.
176
00:06:35,928 --> 00:06:37,228
- Let's fan out.
- Go north-south.
177
00:06:37,263 --> 00:06:38,333
Neutral zone trap?
178
00:06:38,364 --> 00:06:41,534
- Let's get it.
- Let's get it.
179
00:06:41,567 --> 00:06:42,837
- Tassie!
- Cassie!
180
00:06:42,869 --> 00:06:44,439
You sure about this, Auntie?
181
00:06:44,504 --> 00:06:46,174
Yeah...
182
00:06:46,205 --> 00:06:47,835
She looks pretty
shysty, Auntie.
183
00:06:47,874 --> 00:06:48,844
Yeah.
184
00:06:48,875 --> 00:06:50,575
She's pretty sexy though,
Auntie.
185
00:06:50,610 --> 00:06:54,410
Yeah.
Yeah. I'm sure about this.
186
00:06:54,447 --> 00:06:56,077
Eh!
187
00:06:56,115 --> 00:06:57,945
Let's talk.
188
00:07:00,386 --> 00:07:01,686
(Tanis chuckling)
189
00:07:01,721 --> 00:07:03,621
Pretty fuckin' cool.
190
00:07:03,689 --> 00:07:05,589
Dierks'd still be a fight
on-sight, eh, good buddy?
191
00:07:05,625 --> 00:07:07,855
No need.
Fuckin' douchebag.
192
00:07:07,894 --> 00:07:11,604
Wants currently outweighs
needs, Miss Katys.
193
00:07:13,065 --> 00:07:14,465
Hi, big cutes.
194
00:07:14,534 --> 00:07:17,774
You got big balls coming
back here.
195
00:07:17,804 --> 00:07:19,314
I got big everything
down there.
196
00:07:19,372 --> 00:07:22,042
Hence the nickname
"Long-Dick Dierks".
197
00:07:22,074 --> 00:07:24,284
You thinks anyone's
happy to see youse?
198
00:07:24,310 --> 00:07:26,210
Judging by your tone, no.
199
00:07:27,413 --> 00:07:29,223
Which is very concerning,
very concerning,
200
00:07:29,248 --> 00:07:30,648
very complexing.
- Then beat it.
201
00:07:30,716 --> 00:07:34,216
Rosie, Rosie, Rosie,
you and me, I would not...
202
00:07:34,253 --> 00:07:36,563
oppose ye.
203
00:07:36,589 --> 00:07:38,889
Hey, where's big Dad?
204
00:07:38,925 --> 00:07:40,285
Okay, his friends are
still cross.
205
00:07:40,326 --> 00:07:42,896
Very predictable, very
predictable, very prophesized.
206
00:07:42,929 --> 00:07:44,659
I told them they don't
need to.
207
00:07:44,730 --> 00:07:47,770
Wants is still outweighing
needs, Miss Katys.
208
00:07:47,800 --> 00:07:50,670
I'm not as dumb as you look,
my favourite of the guys,
209
00:07:50,736 --> 00:07:53,406
for your very,
very kind eyes.
210
00:07:53,439 --> 00:07:54,969
Long-Dick Dierks
comes prepared.
211
00:07:55,007 --> 00:07:59,807
Very prepared, very processed,
very primed.
212
00:08:01,848 --> 00:08:04,418
- You said it wouldn't get ugly.
- He says a lot of things.
213
00:08:04,450 --> 00:08:06,990
- She's right, baby boo.
- Oh, is she?
214
00:08:07,019 --> 00:08:10,159
If you want to date a bad boy,
you can't be upset
215
00:08:10,189 --> 00:08:12,889
when he does bad boy things.
216
00:08:16,696 --> 00:08:18,196
You remember my, uh,
cousint' I'm sure.
217
00:08:18,264 --> 00:08:21,434
(Scoffing) Of course, Dierks,
I'm unforgettable.
218
00:08:21,467 --> 00:08:22,937
Appreciate the accompaniment,
Elmo.
219
00:08:22,969 --> 00:08:24,799
- Elmo?
- It's actually Elmo-Adrianus,
220
00:08:24,837 --> 00:08:27,607
two first names, hyphenated.
It's Dutch.
221
00:08:27,640 --> 00:08:29,780
- You look Dutch.
- We're all Dutch.
222
00:08:29,809 --> 00:08:31,709
This is
Aldert-Kristoffel,
223
00:08:31,777 --> 00:08:33,807
and Vas-Bram-Ambroos.
224
00:08:33,846 --> 00:08:35,816
Which is actually three
hyphenated first names.
225
00:08:35,848 --> 00:08:37,818
So, you all have two hyphenated
first names?
226
00:08:37,850 --> 00:08:39,150
Two to three, yeah.
227
00:08:39,185 --> 00:08:41,185
It's pretty common in our
area of Dutch Michigan.
228
00:08:41,220 --> 00:08:42,460
But just one last name.
229
00:08:42,488 --> 00:08:43,858
Last name is common only
hyphenated as well.
230
00:08:43,890 --> 00:08:45,860
- In Dutch Michigan.
- Yes.
231
00:08:45,892 --> 00:08:48,732
To carry on the legacies of
both the "moeder en vader".
232
00:08:48,794 --> 00:08:50,464
- What are your last names?
- We all have the same
233
00:08:50,496 --> 00:08:51,656
last name,
we're cousints'.
234
00:08:51,697 --> 00:08:54,367
- That being?
- Rensburg-van Koeverden.
235
00:08:54,400 --> 00:08:56,170
- Look at you.
- Enough talk.
236
00:08:56,202 --> 00:08:59,842
Let's go, right now. Ain't
doing what we did last time.
237
00:08:59,872 --> 00:09:01,872
And what-- what was that?
238
00:09:01,908 --> 00:09:03,478
- Oh-ho, you know.
- Don't thinks we do.
239
00:09:03,509 --> 00:09:05,479
- Oh, I know you do.
- Is it kick your ass?
240
00:09:05,511 --> 00:09:06,751
- The other thing!
- Eat?
241
00:09:06,812 --> 00:09:09,682
No, no, the thing we did between
those two things
242
00:09:09,715 --> 00:09:11,575
when you were-- eh, fuck!
243
00:09:11,651 --> 00:09:14,891
- Easy, easy.
- I'm alright. (Exhaling)
244
00:09:14,921 --> 00:09:17,491
I'm not getting sucked into
your syrup-eatin' games again.
245
00:09:17,523 --> 00:09:18,763
- Really?
- Really, bro.
246
00:09:18,824 --> 00:09:20,864
Ain't here for that cute
back-and-forth bullshit
247
00:09:20,893 --> 00:09:22,903
you canucks
love so much, eh?
248
00:09:22,929 --> 00:09:24,059
- For real.
- The realist.
249
00:09:24,096 --> 00:09:25,666
- You sure?
- I'm positive, brah.
250
00:09:25,698 --> 00:09:27,198
Sounds like you've made up
your mind.
251
00:09:27,233 --> 00:09:28,603
Oh good, you can hear.
252
00:09:28,668 --> 00:09:29,738
Already kinda
doing it, though.
253
00:09:29,769 --> 00:09:30,999
Believe me,
bro, I'm not.
254
00:09:31,037 --> 00:09:32,707
Do you not realize it's
happenings right nows?
255
00:09:32,738 --> 00:09:34,768
Not in a million years, amigo,
not on my watch.
256
00:09:34,840 --> 00:09:36,380
What would you call what's
currently taking place?
257
00:09:36,409 --> 00:09:39,279
Some bacon-makers about to get
their butts beat. Yeah!
258
00:09:39,345 --> 00:09:40,545
What's your name again?
259
00:09:40,580 --> 00:09:43,520
Elmo-Adrianus Rensburg-
van Koeverden, bitch!
260
00:09:43,549 --> 00:09:45,519
- Who are you?
- Squirrely Dan.
261
00:09:45,551 --> 00:09:46,621
(Scoffs) That's a stupid name.
262
00:09:46,686 --> 00:09:47,946
So you're saying you
don't wanna talk.
263
00:09:48,020 --> 00:09:50,590
- No talk, all action.
- And here we are talkings.
264
00:09:50,623 --> 00:09:52,393
- Uh, no we're not.
- But here we are though.
265
00:09:52,425 --> 00:09:55,525
- Nah. Not happenin', padre.
-.
266
00:09:55,561 --> 00:09:58,801
Hey, I'm the guy who tells you
what's happening right now,
267
00:09:58,864 --> 00:10:01,434
paisano.
- Right, talkin'.
268
00:10:01,467 --> 00:10:03,037
- Uh-uh.
- Then stop talking.
269
00:10:03,069 --> 00:10:07,369
No way, Jose. We're gonna keep--
no, wait, okay, fuck!
270
00:10:07,406 --> 00:10:09,736
- Lock it up.
- Yammer.
271
00:10:09,775 --> 00:10:13,475
All right, the talkin' ends now
and the fighting begins.
272
00:10:13,546 --> 00:10:17,046
Okay.
Just one more quick sec.
273
00:10:17,083 --> 00:10:18,883
For what?
274
00:10:20,453 --> 00:10:26,263
♪ You better stop, yeah ♪
275
00:10:26,292 --> 00:10:31,762
♪ Dogging me around ♪
276
00:10:36,902 --> 00:10:42,112
♪ If you don't stop,
yeah ♪
277
00:10:43,009 --> 00:10:47,779
♪ I'm gonna put you down ♪
278
00:10:52,585 --> 00:10:57,485
♪ Cause, I can't take it ♪
279
00:10:57,523 --> 00:11:00,163
♪ Much longer ♪
280
00:11:00,993 --> 00:11:04,003
♪ My heart's
getting weak ♪
281
00:11:04,997 --> 00:11:07,827
♪ It's not getting
any stronger ♪
282
00:11:08,968 --> 00:11:11,168
♪ You keep me so upset ♪
283
00:11:12,505 --> 00:11:14,835
♪ My head's
in a whirl ♪
284
00:11:17,143 --> 00:11:20,383
♪ But if you wanna
be my girl ♪
285
00:11:21,647 --> 00:11:26,617
♪ You'd better stop, yeah ♪
286
00:11:26,652 --> 00:11:31,862
♪ Doggin' me around ♪
287
00:11:37,296 --> 00:11:41,866
♪ Cause if you don't stop,
yeah, ♪
288
00:11:43,736 --> 00:11:48,306
♪ I'm gonna put you down ♪
289
00:11:53,179 --> 00:11:55,309
- Dirty sucker.
- That's redundant.
290
00:11:55,347 --> 00:11:58,647
As I recall, the story involved
two suckers from Wayne.
291
00:11:58,684 --> 00:12:00,224
Well, look at you,
can't count to two.
292
00:12:00,252 --> 00:12:03,992
- One, two, fuck you.
- Well, three, four...
293
00:12:04,023 --> 00:12:06,363
- Fuck you more?
- Put a fuckin' shirt on.
294
00:12:06,392 --> 00:12:08,032
You ought to take JB's math
class, Tyson.
295
00:12:08,060 --> 00:12:10,260
Hey, how high can you
counts, JBs?
296
00:12:10,329 --> 00:12:12,669
(Coughs) I'm too--
too high to count.
297
00:12:12,698 --> 00:12:14,168
JB, real quick,
five plus five.
298
00:12:14,200 --> 00:12:15,840
We're all these fellas
bigger than you?
299
00:12:15,868 --> 00:12:16,868
'Pert nears.
300
00:12:16,902 --> 00:12:18,042
Just painting a mental picture.
301
00:12:18,070 --> 00:12:19,410
Yeah, 'pert near mostly.
302
00:12:19,438 --> 00:12:21,338
'Pert near no one was bigger
than joint boy, though.
303
00:12:21,373 --> 00:12:23,683
Yeah, 'pert near only a few were
bigger than Tyson too.
304
00:12:23,709 --> 00:12:26,349
Any reservations about beating
on someone smaller than you?
305
00:12:26,378 --> 00:12:28,678
Well, if there was, how would
you ever be in a scrap?
306
00:12:28,714 --> 00:12:31,054
Yahtzee.
307
00:12:31,083 --> 00:12:35,053
♪ You better stop, yeah ♪
308
00:12:35,087 --> 00:12:40,227
♪ Dogging me around ♪
309
00:12:45,731 --> 00:12:49,071
♪ If you don't stop,
I ♪
310
00:12:51,103 --> 00:12:55,443
♪ I'm gonna put you down ♪
311
00:12:59,044 --> 00:13:03,124
♪ Yes, put you down ♪
312
00:13:05,151 --> 00:13:08,991
♪ I don't wanna do it,
but I'll have to ♪
313
00:13:09,054 --> 00:13:11,824
♪ Put you down ♪
314
00:13:11,891 --> 00:13:14,391
- King of the suckers.
- King of the suckers.
315
00:13:14,426 --> 00:13:17,096
That still wasn't the biggest
story of the night.
316
00:13:17,129 --> 00:13:21,069
Youse ever get that sorted?
317
00:13:21,100 --> 00:13:23,740
- They smoke-bombed us, buddy.
- Ninja dusted, bro.
318
00:13:23,769 --> 00:13:26,639
(Phone ringing)
319
00:13:26,672 --> 00:13:28,112
(Rap playing on stereo)
320
00:13:28,140 --> 00:13:29,740
- Cassie.
- Tassie.
321
00:13:29,775 --> 00:13:31,575
- I'm Cassie.
- I'm Tassie.
322
00:13:31,610 --> 00:13:32,980
SHORESY:
Give your balls a tug.
323
00:13:33,012 --> 00:13:34,812
JONESY: Shoresy?
324
00:13:34,847 --> 00:13:37,917
You lost a 'ship and you stole
our sweeties?
325
00:13:37,950 --> 00:13:39,420
SHORESY: Your sweeties hopped
into my truck
326
00:13:39,451 --> 00:13:41,521
like a couple of homeless
derelicts jumping a train.
327
00:13:41,587 --> 00:13:43,617
I'm supposed to be honey-dicking
your moms right now,
328
00:13:43,656 --> 00:13:44,856
you fucking losers.
329
00:13:44,924 --> 00:13:47,494
What happened to Ancestry.com?
What did you do?
330
00:13:47,526 --> 00:13:50,096
A broad-ski I used to wheel in
Junior works there now.
331
00:13:50,129 --> 00:13:52,459
She told me your tests came
back white as snow,
332
00:13:52,498 --> 00:13:53,998
so I gave her my DNA.
333
00:13:54,033 --> 00:13:56,643
- So, you spit in our cups?
- No, I fucked her.
334
00:13:56,669 --> 00:13:58,339
Oh, that DNA.
335
00:13:58,370 --> 00:14:00,770
A Native I'm wheeling spit in
your cups.
336
00:14:00,806 --> 00:14:02,776
But-- Why?
337
00:14:02,808 --> 00:14:04,538
- You gotta get that W, boys.
- But...
338
00:14:04,610 --> 00:14:07,980
The glory of winning will never
equal the pain of losing.
339
00:14:08,013 --> 00:14:10,183
SHORESY: They don't ask how,
they ask how many?
340
00:14:10,216 --> 00:14:13,286
- But... but...
- But... but...
341
00:14:13,319 --> 00:14:14,449
BOTH: No!
342
00:14:14,486 --> 00:14:16,556
- They do ask how!
- They did ask how.
343
00:14:16,622 --> 00:14:19,962
And they determined that we got
to how by cheating.
344
00:14:19,992 --> 00:14:21,492
And then, they took
away the how many!
345
00:14:21,527 --> 00:14:24,227
Where's your purse? You sound
like a fucking broad.
346
00:14:24,296 --> 00:14:26,126
- Fuck you, Shoresy.
- Fuck you, Reilly.
347
00:14:26,165 --> 00:14:28,025
Tell your mom to trim her
toenails,
348
00:14:28,067 --> 00:14:30,237
she carves up my thighs when
she gets buckin'.
349
00:14:30,302 --> 00:14:32,172
- Fuck you, Shoresy.
- Fuck you, Jonesy.
350
00:14:32,204 --> 00:14:34,014
Tell your mom to trim her
fingernails,
351
00:14:34,039 --> 00:14:36,809
Reilly's mom's getting
suspi.
352
00:14:36,842 --> 00:14:38,682
- Fuck you, Shoresy.
- Fuck you, Reilly.
353
00:14:38,711 --> 00:14:41,311
Your mom asked me to pull her
hair, and then hit me up
354
00:14:41,347 --> 00:14:43,077
for a hundo when her
extensions came out.
355
00:14:43,148 --> 00:14:45,178
- Fuck you, Shoresy.
- Fuck you, Jonesy.
356
00:14:45,217 --> 00:14:46,987
Your mum asked me to choke her
and seriously,
357
00:14:47,019 --> 00:14:48,519
not even that could
shut her up.
358
00:14:48,554 --> 00:14:50,524
- Fuck you, Shoresy.
- Fuck you, Reilly.
359
00:14:50,556 --> 00:14:53,426
Your mom wanted 11th hour anal
and lied when I asked
360
00:14:53,492 --> 00:14:56,032
if the chamber was empty. It's
one step forward, two steps
361
00:14:56,061 --> 00:14:58,561
back in this relationship.
I'm fuckin' sick of it.
362
00:14:58,597 --> 00:15:00,927
- Fuck you, Shoresy.
- Fuck you, Jonesy.
363
00:15:01,000 --> 00:15:03,200
Your mom says she's tense
with anxiety.
364
00:15:03,235 --> 00:15:04,335
Can you talk to her for me?
365
00:15:04,370 --> 00:15:06,210
She's gripping
my wiener way too hard.
366
00:15:06,238 --> 00:15:08,538
- Fuck you, Shoresy.
- Fuck you, Reilly.
367
00:15:08,574 --> 00:15:11,214
I walked in on your mum watchin'
porn and she tried to cover
368
00:15:11,243 --> 00:15:14,083
it up worse than she tried to
cover up your old man.
369
00:15:14,113 --> 00:15:16,283
- Fuck you, Shoresy.
- Fuck you, Jonesy.
370
00:15:16,348 --> 00:15:19,288
Your mom wanted to watch porn
and went straight for BDSM
371
00:15:19,351 --> 00:15:21,621
with complete disregard for
how triggering that is
372
00:15:21,687 --> 00:15:23,787
for anyone who's been
ball-gagged in their sleep
373
00:15:23,856 --> 00:15:25,056
by Reilly's mom.
374
00:15:25,090 --> 00:15:27,360
- BOTH: Fuck!
- (Phone beeping end of call)
375
00:15:27,393 --> 00:15:29,963
So, yeah, it's back down
to one 'ship, boys.
376
00:15:30,029 --> 00:15:31,629
One 'ship's better than
no 'ship, buddy.
377
00:15:31,697 --> 00:15:33,527
Yeah, but two 'ships is better
than one 'ship, buddy.
378
00:15:33,565 --> 00:15:35,065
Wait, so...
379
00:15:35,100 --> 00:15:37,240
Oh, fuck here comes
algorithm face.
380
00:15:37,269 --> 00:15:39,369
Up next,
multi-variable calculus?
381
00:15:39,405 --> 00:15:42,105
Hey, let's hear some algebraic
geometry, you fuckin' ape.
382
00:15:42,141 --> 00:15:43,741
Up next reciprocities laws.
383
00:15:43,776 --> 00:15:46,476
Fuckin' dynamic systems and
differential equations.
384
00:15:46,545 --> 00:15:50,145
Fuckin' here we go now.
- I'.
385
00:15:50,215 --> 00:15:52,215
I feel like we keep getting
interrupted by you guys,
386
00:15:52,251 --> 00:15:54,451
and I don't really think that
we do that to you,
387
00:15:54,486 --> 00:15:56,786
so, I just want to know, why do
you keep doing it to us?
388
00:15:56,822 --> 00:15:58,592
- Onward.
- Daryl,
389
00:15:58,624 --> 00:16:01,964
to answer your question from
earlier, the answer is yes.
390
00:16:01,994 --> 00:16:03,504
We are currently head-down
and winning a 'ship
391
00:16:03,562 --> 00:16:05,262
in beer league hockey.
Thank you for asking.
392
00:16:05,297 --> 00:16:07,267
You should just call it beer
league though, buddy,
393
00:16:07,299 --> 00:16:09,839
I mean, it's so phoned in,
it's barely hockey.
394
00:16:09,902 --> 00:16:11,272
You're right.
395
00:16:11,303 --> 00:16:13,113
It is bad enough we call
Senior A Level shit hockey.
396
00:16:13,138 --> 00:16:16,108
Beer league is beer league,
it's its own gen-re.
397
00:16:16,141 --> 00:16:18,411
- Sorry?
- Gen-re.
398
00:16:18,444 --> 00:16:20,914
- Genre?
- It's its .
399
00:16:20,946 --> 00:16:23,476
- Dickens.
- TANIS: Pink dicks!
400
00:16:24,950 --> 00:16:27,790
- Youse ready?
- Ready when you are, Auntie.
401
00:16:27,820 --> 00:16:29,290
I wasn't talkin' to youse.
402
00:16:29,321 --> 00:16:33,931
Joint Boy, Tyson... time.
Do some push-ups or somethin'.
403
00:16:33,959 --> 00:16:35,259
They're my spokesmodels.
404
00:16:35,294 --> 00:16:36,804
Is that why youse had your
shirts off?
405
00:16:36,829 --> 00:16:38,429
Holy fuck.
406
00:16:38,464 --> 00:16:42,104
All right, now youse,
is everything good inside?
407
00:16:42,134 --> 00:16:46,414
- Good. Got my NDN NRG girl.
- Let's go then.
408
00:16:48,107 --> 00:16:50,437
- And I've got my BROdude girl.
- Allons-y.
409
00:16:50,476 --> 00:16:53,446
And now, introducing to youse
for the very first time,
410
00:16:53,479 --> 00:16:56,049
the faces
of our collaboration.
411
00:16:56,115 --> 00:16:57,875
♪ Elle jolie,
elle jolie ♪
412
00:16:57,950 --> 00:17:00,790
♪ Elle jolie,
elle jolie, elle jolie ♪
413
00:17:00,819 --> 00:17:02,519
♪ Elle jolie,
elle jolie ♪
414
00:17:02,554 --> 00:17:05,464
♪ Elle jolie,
elle jolie, elle jolie ♪
415
00:17:05,491 --> 00:17:07,391
♪ Elle jolie,
elle jolie ♪
416
00:17:07,459 --> 00:17:10,459
♪ Elle jolie,
elle jolie, elle jolie... ♪
417
00:17:10,496 --> 00:17:14,296
BROdude and NDN NRG present...
418
00:17:14,333 --> 00:17:16,903
- Let's go, dude.
- Let's BRO then.
419
00:17:16,969 --> 00:17:18,469
Just for today, Tanis.
420
00:17:18,504 --> 00:17:21,344
Yeah, there's a short
shelf-life on this.
421
00:17:21,373 --> 00:17:23,583
- Damn. You two look--
- We know.
422
00:17:23,642 --> 00:17:26,652
- We heard you, and thank you.
- It's appreciated, but--
423
00:17:26,678 --> 00:17:29,478
I can't get in this outfit
twice. Once is plenty.
424
00:17:29,515 --> 00:17:33,045
- I don't know how youse do it.
- MODELS: You get used to it.
425
00:17:33,085 --> 00:17:34,715
And my male models!
426
00:17:35,687 --> 00:17:38,557
- Let's go, dude.
- Our live entertainment.
427
00:17:43,028 --> 00:17:44,858
- 2cock Chakur!
- Just 2cock.
428
00:17:44,897 --> 00:17:46,227
Seriously, just 2cock.
429
00:17:46,265 --> 00:17:47,895
Yeah, we don't wanna get our
pants pulled down here.
430
00:17:47,933 --> 00:17:49,003
- Well...
- But remind us
431
00:17:49,034 --> 00:17:50,504
how this works again?
432
00:17:50,536 --> 00:17:52,666
Last time we checked, you had
just fucked her real bad.
433
00:17:52,704 --> 00:17:55,444
Guess you could stay I just
started fuckin' her real good.
434
00:17:55,507 --> 00:17:56,737
(Kissing)
435
00:17:56,775 --> 00:17:57,905
Yahtzee.
436
00:17:57,943 --> 00:18:00,213
- Sex, sex, sex...
- Sex, sex, sex, sex.
437
00:18:00,245 --> 00:18:04,015
Eh! We gonna launch this bitch,
or what?
438
00:18:04,049 --> 00:18:05,449
- You ready?
- I'm ready.
439
00:18:05,517 --> 00:18:06,887
- You ready?
- I'm ready!
440
00:18:06,919 --> 00:18:08,189
- Youse ready?
- We're ready.
441
00:18:08,220 --> 00:18:10,390
- Youse ready?
- We're ready...
442
00:18:10,422 --> 00:18:12,592
Hey, beautiful dumb-dumbs,
put on these hats.
443
00:18:12,624 --> 00:18:14,764
- Oh, sick, buddy!
- Sweet, bro.
444
00:18:14,793 --> 00:18:18,103
- JONESY: I love hats. Thank you.
- Thanks.
445
00:18:18,130 --> 00:18:20,400
- All right, let's go dude!
- Let's BRO then.
446
00:18:20,432 --> 00:18:23,042
- It's just for tonight.
- Turn up?
447
00:18:23,068 --> 00:18:24,238
You already know.
448
00:18:24,269 --> 00:18:25,699
We're gonna do it right
this time.
449
00:18:25,737 --> 00:18:27,037
(Cheering)
450
00:18:27,072 --> 00:18:30,742
("Haven't You Heart"
by Patrice Rushen plays)
451
00:18:30,776 --> 00:18:32,706
The beer, Wayne.
452
00:18:32,744 --> 00:18:42,754
♪
453
00:18:58,170 --> 00:18:59,140
♪ I been looking for you ♪
454
00:19:05,444 --> 00:19:09,354
♪ I been
looking for you ♪
455
00:19:09,414 --> 00:19:11,484
♪ Haven't you heard? ♪
456
00:19:12,317 --> 00:19:16,357
♪ Oh, I been
looking for you ♪
457
00:19:16,421 --> 00:19:17,961
♪ Haven't you heard? ♪
458
00:19:20,425 --> 00:19:23,325
♪ I been
looking for you ♪
459
00:19:23,362 --> 00:19:24,762
♪ Haven't you heard? ♪
460
00:19:30,936 --> 00:19:35,806
♪
461
00:19:42,481 --> 00:19:44,351
♪ Have you heard
that there's an ad ♪
462
00:19:46,218 --> 00:19:48,018
♪ Listed in the classifieds? ♪
463
00:19:50,455 --> 00:19:51,985
♪ Kind of brief ♪
464
00:19:52,024 --> 00:19:54,034
♪ It only says "I'm lookin'
for the perfect..." ♪
465
00:19:54,084 --> 00:19:58,634
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