All language subtitles for The Simpsons - 29x06

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:01:03,365 --> 00:01:05,366 D'oh! 2 00:01:09,394 --> 00:01:11,512 _ 3 00:01:13,732 --> 00:01:15,948 _ 4 00:01:18,357 --> 00:01:19,979 _ 5 00:01:21,765 --> 00:01:23,828 _ 6 00:01:24,435 --> 00:01:27,150 _ 7 00:01:27,165 --> 00:01:29,113 _ 8 00:01:36,493 --> 00:01:38,501 _ 9 00:01:42,294 --> 00:01:44,205 _ 10 00:01:48,013 --> 00:01:50,803 _ 11 00:01:51,270 --> 00:01:56,238 - Sync and corrections by ByDem - - www.addic7ed.com - 12 00:01:57,286 --> 00:01:58,753 This is Kent Brockman on location 13 00:01:58,787 --> 00:02:00,721 among the good people of Springfield. 14 00:02:01,990 --> 00:02:03,524 Coward! 15 00:02:03,558 --> 00:02:06,460 Because today, we celebrate beautiful Skyline Park, 16 00:02:06,495 --> 00:02:08,129 a reclamation project built atop the ruins 17 00:02:08,163 --> 00:02:10,531 of the Springfield Monorail. 18 00:02:10,565 --> 00:02:13,301 Monorail. Monorail. Monorail. Monorail. 19 00:02:13,335 --> 00:02:15,770 No, they're not building a new monorail. 20 00:02:15,804 --> 00:02:17,772 Why not? This one couldn't fail. 21 00:02:17,806 --> 00:02:19,373 Couldn't fail. Couldn't fail. 22 00:02:19,408 --> 00:02:21,542 ♪ It's a monstrous creation ♪ 23 00:02:21,576 --> 00:02:23,144 ♪ Of mass transportation. ♪ 24 00:02:26,815 --> 00:02:29,350 Throw me again! 25 00:02:29,384 --> 00:02:31,652 No, we're repurposing the old monorail track 26 00:02:31,687 --> 00:02:33,788 into a completely new and original feature 27 00:02:33,822 --> 00:02:35,289 we ripped off from New York: 28 00:02:35,324 --> 00:02:39,026 the Springfield Skypark-Line. 29 00:02:39,061 --> 00:02:40,461 I love this space. 30 00:02:40,495 --> 00:02:42,296 Planters, benches, 31 00:02:42,331 --> 00:02:45,967 solar-powered talking trash cans. 32 00:02:46,001 --> 00:02:49,470 Thank you for the used porn. 33 00:02:53,008 --> 00:02:55,209 Huh? 34 00:02:58,180 --> 00:03:00,114 Uh, okay, uh, do we go, uh, 35 00:03:00,148 --> 00:03:02,650 gut to gut or, uh, butt-butt to nut? 36 00:03:02,684 --> 00:03:05,453 Don't worry, we'll use the bypass board. 37 00:03:06,521 --> 00:03:08,622 Okay, fatsos, suck it in. 38 00:03:08,657 --> 00:03:09,824 - Oh! - Whoa. 39 00:03:11,326 --> 00:03:13,294 Oh! 40 00:03:13,328 --> 00:03:16,297 I got Homer's sandwich. 41 00:03:16,331 --> 00:03:17,965 I got Wiggum's gun. 42 00:03:18,000 --> 00:03:20,201 And now, to culminate today's events, 43 00:03:20,235 --> 00:03:21,802 let's turn on the electricity 44 00:03:21,837 --> 00:03:24,872 that illuminates the tiny "no smoking" signs. 45 00:03:36,518 --> 00:03:38,853 Huh? Somehow the track is getting juice! 46 00:03:41,590 --> 00:03:43,924 Yes! Now to put it on power save. 47 00:03:46,028 --> 00:03:47,495 The monorail... it's alive! 48 00:03:47,529 --> 00:03:49,030 I warned you not to... 49 00:04:00,008 --> 00:04:01,442 Ha-ha! 50 00:04:09,117 --> 00:04:11,185 Welcome, senior citizen. 51 00:04:19,461 --> 00:04:21,862 No more Nimoy! 52 00:04:25,967 --> 00:04:28,502 On the positive side, with this disaster, 53 00:04:28,537 --> 00:04:31,105 we have surpassed Detroit and Kabul 54 00:04:31,139 --> 00:04:33,207 as the world's most unlucky city. 55 00:04:33,241 --> 00:04:34,875 Er, ah, er. 56 00:04:34,910 --> 00:04:38,813 Couldn't you have at least put little wedges under the wheels? 57 00:04:38,847 --> 00:04:41,649 Er, uh, sorry, sweetheart, but running a city is 58 00:04:41,683 --> 00:04:45,319 a little more complicated than getting your nails done. 59 00:04:45,353 --> 00:04:47,221 Don't you worry 60 00:04:47,255 --> 00:04:49,323 your pretty little head about it. 61 00:04:49,357 --> 00:04:51,892 Mr. Mayor, that is so sexist. 62 00:04:51,927 --> 00:04:55,329 Uh-oh, sounds like someone's girdle is pinching. 63 00:04:57,365 --> 00:04:58,833 Well, now, it's all in fun. 64 00:04:58,867 --> 00:05:00,935 No one respects you ladies more than I. 65 00:05:00,969 --> 00:05:03,270 Now if you wouldn't mind serving the coffee and cake, 66 00:05:03,305 --> 00:05:05,272 we men can get down to business. 67 00:05:06,608 --> 00:05:08,576 This is the last time I'm doing this. 68 00:05:08,610 --> 00:05:10,411 So I better do it perfectly. 69 00:05:10,445 --> 00:05:12,513 Here you go, Dr. Hibbert. 70 00:05:14,983 --> 00:05:18,085 I can't believe Mayor Quimby talking down to me like that. 71 00:05:18,120 --> 00:05:20,821 And by the way, women don't wear girdles anymore. 72 00:05:20,856 --> 00:05:23,491 We wear Spanx and other shapewear. 73 00:05:23,525 --> 00:05:25,025 Tell me about it. 74 00:05:29,131 --> 00:05:33,167 People think we've moved on, but this world is as sexist as ever. 75 00:05:33,201 --> 00:05:34,768 Thanks, Obama. 76 00:05:34,803 --> 00:05:36,670 What's so great about Quimby anyway? 77 00:05:36,705 --> 00:05:38,105 I could cut a ribbon. 78 00:05:38,140 --> 00:05:39,673 And I could make it curl nicely 79 00:05:39,708 --> 00:05:42,009 using the edge of the giant scissors. 80 00:05:42,043 --> 00:05:44,178 You'd be a great mayor, Mom. 81 00:05:44,212 --> 00:05:46,013 You're organized, you manage the budget, 82 00:05:46,047 --> 00:05:49,350 and thanks to Dad, you're an expert on the court system. 83 00:05:49,384 --> 00:05:51,852 Fun fact: being a defendant gets you out of jury duty. 84 00:05:52,888 --> 00:05:55,189 Mom, this is our time. 85 00:05:55,223 --> 00:05:57,324 Wonder Woman showed that if you're a goddess 86 00:05:57,359 --> 00:06:00,461 with superpowers, there's no limit to what you can do. 87 00:06:00,495 --> 00:06:02,429 You could be mayor! 88 00:06:02,464 --> 00:06:03,831 Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. 89 00:06:03,865 --> 00:06:06,267 A woman prime minister, okay. 90 00:06:06,301 --> 00:06:08,169 Women Ghostbusters, cool. 91 00:06:08,203 --> 00:06:09,803 Woman head of the Federal Reserve, 92 00:06:09,838 --> 00:06:11,972 as far as I'm concerned, what's that? 93 00:06:12,007 --> 00:06:13,474 But a woman mayor? 94 00:06:13,508 --> 00:06:17,011 If Mom becomes mayor, we can get away with anything. 95 00:06:20,215 --> 00:06:22,149 Help me, Jesus! 96 00:06:27,722 --> 00:06:29,790 Pick a side. 97 00:06:35,397 --> 00:06:37,331 Hey. Where'd everybody go? 98 00:06:37,365 --> 00:06:40,601 Marge, this town is ready for a change. 99 00:06:40,635 --> 00:06:42,836 Quimby has been mayor, like, forever. 100 00:06:42,871 --> 00:06:44,672 You'd think he could lose that sash. 101 00:06:44,706 --> 00:06:46,774 It's like, we know, okay? 102 00:06:46,808 --> 00:06:48,108 All right now, listen. 103 00:06:48,143 --> 00:06:50,177 The key to victory is micro-targeting. 104 00:06:50,212 --> 00:06:51,545 Micro-targeting. 105 00:06:51,580 --> 00:06:53,681 Think of the voters as a pie. 106 00:06:55,050 --> 00:06:57,284 Yes, Homer, someone here said "pie." 107 00:06:57,319 --> 00:06:58,953 I know, "Mmm, pie." 108 00:07:00,422 --> 00:07:01,789 I'm sorry, go on. 109 00:07:01,823 --> 00:07:05,559 Uh, we use data analysis to divide the pie 110 00:07:05,594 --> 00:07:07,228 into tiny little slivers 111 00:07:07,262 --> 00:07:09,663 and tailor a message to each micro-group. 112 00:07:11,099 --> 00:07:14,235 You just tell them what they want to hear until you get 51%. 113 00:07:14,269 --> 00:07:17,238 Then you can govern like a far-right nut-job. 114 00:07:17,272 --> 00:07:20,608 ♪ I'm Marge Simpson ♪ 115 00:07:20,642 --> 00:07:22,943 ♪ And won't you vote for me? ♪ 116 00:07:22,978 --> 00:07:25,613 - ♪ Whatever your obsession is ♪ - _ 117 00:07:25,647 --> 00:07:28,115 ♪ Is my priority. ♪ 118 00:07:28,149 --> 00:07:31,619 I stand with you against revenuers. 119 00:07:31,653 --> 00:07:34,288 Oh, uh, durn revenuers! 120 00:07:34,322 --> 00:07:36,957 Well, you's the new John Galt, aren't you? 121 00:07:36,992 --> 00:07:41,061 Hey, can you take a picture with our Ayn Rand scarecrow? 122 00:07:44,299 --> 00:07:47,468 - ♪ From widows to your lunch pail Joes ♪ - _ 123 00:07:47,502 --> 00:07:49,970 - ♪ To vets of foreign wars ♪ - _ 124 00:07:50,005 --> 00:07:52,238 - ♪ There's no single-issue voter ♪ - _ 125 00:07:52,240 --> 00:07:55,042 ♪ My campaign will ignore. ♪ 126 00:07:55,076 --> 00:07:57,211 Marge, we really appreciate this. 127 00:07:57,245 --> 00:08:00,047 You're the first politician that's ever met with us weirdos. 128 00:08:00,081 --> 00:08:03,617 What's the biggest issue you exotic pet owners face? 129 00:08:03,652 --> 00:08:05,719 Keeping our pets from eating each other. 130 00:08:05,754 --> 00:08:08,255 Yes. As the owner of an impala, I... 131 00:08:08,290 --> 00:08:10,724 - Hey, where'd it go? - Oh, boy. 132 00:08:10,759 --> 00:08:13,961 ♪ From soccer moms to mafia dons ♪ 133 00:08:13,995 --> 00:08:16,764 ♪ I'll give you what you need ♪ 134 00:08:16,798 --> 00:08:19,066 ♪ I'm Marge Simpson ♪ 135 00:08:19,100 --> 00:08:21,835 ♪ And won't you vote for me? Yeah! ♪ 136 00:08:22,937 --> 00:08:24,972 Why do people assume all I can do 137 00:08:25,006 --> 00:08:28,075 is feed spaghetti to dogs that want to make out? 138 00:08:28,109 --> 00:08:29,410 What do you want to do? 139 00:08:29,444 --> 00:08:32,313 Carve a little wooden boy and make him come to life. 140 00:08:32,347 --> 00:08:33,414 Oh. 141 00:08:38,560 --> 00:08:41,731 _ 142 00:08:41,856 --> 00:08:44,258 Now, for our third and fourth party candidates, 143 00:08:44,292 --> 00:08:47,695 I regret to say you are just shy of the polling results required, 144 00:08:47,729 --> 00:08:49,530 so you're excluded from the debate. 145 00:08:49,564 --> 00:08:51,465 Bye-bye. 146 00:08:51,499 --> 00:08:54,168 Mrs. Simpson, you've targeted small constituencies. 147 00:08:54,202 --> 00:08:56,170 Do you have any proposals that would appeal 148 00:08:56,204 --> 00:08:58,005 to every Springfielder? 149 00:08:59,607 --> 00:09:01,308 Well, Kent, I am a mom. 150 00:09:01,343 --> 00:09:05,979 And as a mom, I want to help this town eat its vegetables. 151 00:09:07,615 --> 00:09:09,650 Vegetables, Marge? 152 00:09:09,684 --> 00:09:11,652 As moderator, it's my duty to fact check 153 00:09:11,686 --> 00:09:13,420 that many of them are yucky. 154 00:09:13,455 --> 00:09:14,988 It's a metaphor. 155 00:09:15,023 --> 00:09:16,490 Stinkin' metaphors! 156 00:09:16,524 --> 00:09:18,459 I only trust similes. 157 00:09:18,493 --> 00:09:19,960 I enjoy metaphors. 158 00:09:19,994 --> 00:09:22,587 They're raindrops on the flower that is the ear. 159 00:09:22,587 --> 00:09:24,421 You put in a "like" or an "as," 160 00:09:24,456 --> 00:09:26,557 or so help me you are going down. 161 00:09:29,408 --> 00:09:31,042 She's completely cooked. 162 00:09:31,077 --> 00:09:33,611 Unlike the chicken she brought to the potluck. 163 00:09:33,646 --> 00:09:35,947 Oh, Helen is as bitter as the lemonade 164 00:09:35,981 --> 00:09:37,382 she brought to the potluck. 165 00:09:37,416 --> 00:09:40,452 What a terrible potluck that was. 166 00:09:40,486 --> 00:09:42,987 Why wasn't this a town hall event? 167 00:09:43,022 --> 00:09:45,924 I like to see them balance on the stools. 168 00:09:50,262 --> 00:09:51,896 You know, my entire life, 169 00:09:51,931 --> 00:09:54,566 that stupid tire fire has been burning. 170 00:09:54,600 --> 00:09:56,468 And it's ruined our town. 171 00:09:59,171 --> 00:10:01,339 I promise, if you elect me, 172 00:10:01,374 --> 00:10:03,308 I'll put that fire out. 173 00:10:06,011 --> 00:10:07,178 No tire fire? 174 00:10:07,213 --> 00:10:08,947 Ooh, just like Zurich. 175 00:10:08,981 --> 00:10:10,048 - Mm. - Mm. 176 00:10:13,500 --> 00:10:15,034 Mm-hmm! 177 00:10:15,068 --> 00:10:16,817 Is that enough? 178 00:10:16,817 --> 00:10:18,885 And with the last senior citizen gently reminded 179 00:10:18,919 --> 00:10:22,221 that they cannot vote at IHOP, the results are now final. 180 00:10:22,256 --> 00:10:23,556 History is made. 181 00:10:23,590 --> 00:10:25,525 Marge Simpson is our new mayor. 182 00:10:25,559 --> 00:10:29,062 The first woman and the second to pee sitting down. 183 00:10:29,096 --> 00:10:31,397 Marge! Marge! Marge! 184 00:10:31,432 --> 00:10:32,932 Thank you. 185 00:10:34,101 --> 00:10:37,136 Homie, you want to make out with the mayor? 186 00:10:37,171 --> 00:10:39,739 What? No! Ew! 187 00:10:39,773 --> 00:10:41,908 Oh, you mean you. 188 00:10:44,945 --> 00:10:46,079 Okay. 189 00:10:46,113 --> 00:10:48,379 Now I really wish I'd voted. 190 00:10:55,316 --> 00:10:57,477 Whee! Whee! 191 00:10:57,477 --> 00:10:59,812 Look at me! I'm a public servant! 192 00:10:59,846 --> 00:11:01,213 Woo-hoo! 193 00:11:01,247 --> 00:11:04,383 And so our new mayor is doing what was unthinkable 194 00:11:04,417 --> 00:11:06,985 in the Quimby Regime: something. 195 00:11:07,020 --> 00:11:09,254 Roll the 'dozers! 196 00:11:17,572 --> 00:11:19,064 Well, sorry, 197 00:11:19,098 --> 00:11:22,534 but I-I can't let you put me out of business. 198 00:11:24,270 --> 00:11:29,074 You'd ruin the air for the whole town just to sell knickknacks? 199 00:11:29,108 --> 00:11:30,242 Knickknacks? 200 00:11:30,276 --> 00:11:32,077 They-they may be to you, 201 00:11:32,111 --> 00:11:35,247 but, uh, they put my son through med school. 202 00:11:35,281 --> 00:11:38,383 He named, um, uh, a-a stammer after me. 203 00:11:40,920 --> 00:11:42,054 You know. 204 00:11:43,823 --> 00:11:44,957 I failed. 205 00:11:44,991 --> 00:11:47,059 I failed on my one promise. 206 00:11:47,093 --> 00:11:49,561 - Oh. - _ 207 00:11:49,596 --> 00:11:51,797 And so, Marge Simpson is already a failure. 208 00:11:51,831 --> 00:11:54,566 The fastest fall from grace since Mamie Eisenhower 209 00:11:54,601 --> 00:11:57,336 destroyed a piano store on inauguration day. 210 00:11:57,360 --> 00:12:00,692 _ 211 00:12:00,907 --> 00:12:02,708 Hey, Mom, want to get some lunch? 212 00:12:02,742 --> 00:12:04,343 I'd love a lunch break, 213 00:12:04,377 --> 00:12:07,412 but I've got to get that tire fire out first. 214 00:12:07,447 --> 00:12:10,515 Already neglecting your family, Madam Mayor? 215 00:12:10,550 --> 00:12:13,051 Why you little! Don't embarrass your mother! 216 00:12:29,302 --> 00:12:30,903 Guys, guys, stop! 217 00:12:30,937 --> 00:12:32,070 I'm the mayor. 218 00:12:32,105 --> 00:12:34,172 Everything you do reflects on me. 219 00:12:34,207 --> 00:12:35,507 Of course, honey. 220 00:12:35,541 --> 00:12:37,342 It's just hard to restrain yourself 221 00:12:37,377 --> 00:12:39,011 when you're above the law. 222 00:12:39,045 --> 00:12:40,846 We're not above the law. 223 00:12:40,880 --> 00:12:43,415 Oh, yeah, yeah, I get it. 224 00:12:43,449 --> 00:12:45,417 Hmm? _ 225 00:12:45,451 --> 00:12:46,852 I want you to promise me. 226 00:12:46,886 --> 00:12:50,355 Can you both behave like Lisa, just for a little bit? 227 00:12:50,390 --> 00:12:53,759 "I'm Lisa. I'm Lisa." 228 00:12:53,793 --> 00:12:55,794 "I like music." 229 00:12:55,828 --> 00:12:58,397 "My boyfriend is broccoli." 230 00:12:59,599 --> 00:13:00,732 Hey! 231 00:13:00,767 --> 00:13:03,335 We're here to buy your stand. 232 00:13:03,369 --> 00:13:05,671 Yeah, well, it's not for sale. 233 00:13:05,705 --> 00:13:08,407 All I want to do is help this city, 234 00:13:08,441 --> 00:13:10,909 and I can't because of this ding-dong. 235 00:13:11,945 --> 00:13:14,513 How dare you insult me like that? 236 00:13:14,547 --> 00:13:15,847 I was there! 237 00:13:15,882 --> 00:13:18,250 What? What, what, what, what, what? 238 00:13:18,284 --> 00:13:19,985 Clyde's a Vietnam vet, 239 00:13:20,019 --> 00:13:22,354 a survivor of the Battle of Dhing Dhong. 240 00:13:22,388 --> 00:13:23,422 Thank you. 241 00:13:23,456 --> 00:13:25,324 Than Kyu was his best friend. 242 00:13:25,358 --> 00:13:28,160 Stepped on a land mine in the battle of One Pun Too Many. 243 00:13:28,194 --> 00:13:30,362 This is not good, Marge. Not good. 244 00:13:30,396 --> 00:13:31,863 Oh. 245 00:13:31,898 --> 00:13:34,032 Marge's beehive of activity has become 246 00:13:34,067 --> 00:13:35,834 a hornet's nest of trouble. 247 00:13:35,868 --> 00:13:38,737 Also, our news broadcasts have been reduced to two sentences. 248 00:13:38,771 --> 00:13:39,905 Good night. 249 00:13:39,939 --> 00:13:41,239 There's only one way out. 250 00:13:41,274 --> 00:13:42,638 You're gonna have to do a live, 251 00:13:42,638 --> 00:13:45,107 completely unscripted heart-to-heart with the voters. 252 00:13:45,141 --> 00:13:47,442 - Here's your script. - I don't want a script. 253 00:13:47,477 --> 00:13:48,710 Are you nuts? 254 00:13:50,146 --> 00:13:51,146 Good evening. 255 00:13:51,180 --> 00:13:53,682 I'm here to talk to you, one-on-one, 256 00:13:53,716 --> 00:13:56,885 just an ordinary mom sitting in her kitchen. 257 00:13:58,488 --> 00:13:59,788 This is a disaster. 258 00:13:59,822 --> 00:14:01,890 I've seen counterclockwise knob turning before, 259 00:14:01,924 --> 00:14:03,258 but not like this. 260 00:14:04,927 --> 00:14:07,262 Marge, what time is dinner ready? 261 00:14:07,296 --> 00:14:09,231 I'm in the middle of a speech. 262 00:14:09,265 --> 00:14:10,732 So, 6:00? 263 00:14:10,767 --> 00:14:12,400 You'll get it when you get it. 264 00:14:12,435 --> 00:14:14,803 Wait a minute. Something's turning them around. 265 00:14:14,837 --> 00:14:18,306 Marge, can you cook a Hot Pocket in the dryer? 266 00:14:18,341 --> 00:14:20,308 Homer Simpson, 267 00:14:20,343 --> 00:14:23,612 the only time you shut your mouth is to keep food inside. 268 00:14:28,217 --> 00:14:29,284 That's it. 269 00:14:29,318 --> 00:14:30,852 She's turned a gaffe-making tubby 270 00:14:30,887 --> 00:14:32,287 into a laugh-yielding hubby. 271 00:14:32,321 --> 00:14:33,855 Does that work? 272 00:14:33,890 --> 00:14:35,857 Let's see, the subter-hand is all right. 273 00:14:35,892 --> 00:14:38,026 The math checks out. 274 00:14:38,060 --> 00:14:40,162 I'll be the Kellyanne Conway of this thing. 275 00:14:40,196 --> 00:14:41,463 Kellyanne Conway? 276 00:14:41,497 --> 00:14:43,965 I like how she always looks like she just woke up. 277 00:14:44,000 --> 00:14:48,036 I think it's inspiring how now a woman can be Joseph Goebbels. 278 00:14:52,074 --> 00:14:53,708 Marge, do we have any bread? 279 00:14:53,743 --> 00:14:55,043 Check your chest. 280 00:14:57,954 --> 00:14:59,314 Woo-hoo! 281 00:14:59,888 --> 00:15:01,022 Oh, my God. 282 00:15:01,056 --> 00:15:02,545 Those are the highest approval ratings 283 00:15:02,545 --> 00:15:05,547 I've ever seen for an incumbent: 53%! 284 00:15:11,641 --> 00:15:14,067 Marge, your numbers are simply fantastic. 285 00:15:14,067 --> 00:15:17,003 And all you had to do was throw your husband under the bus. 286 00:15:18,071 --> 00:15:19,372 Well, don't tell me you're sad 287 00:15:19,406 --> 00:15:21,040 about throwing your husband under the bus. 288 00:15:21,074 --> 00:15:23,542 I'm happy if he can fit under a bus. 289 00:15:23,577 --> 00:15:24,710 Zing! 290 00:15:24,745 --> 00:15:27,346 Yeah. Zing. 291 00:15:29,082 --> 00:15:32,718 Mr. Simpson, we're naming a sandwich after you. 292 00:15:32,753 --> 00:15:35,221 My lifelong dream has come true. 293 00:15:35,255 --> 00:15:36,655 I've got this all planned. 294 00:15:36,690 --> 00:15:39,425 Start with a full Reuben with all the fixin's. 295 00:15:39,459 --> 00:15:41,227 Put a club sandwich on top. 296 00:15:41,261 --> 00:15:43,262 The bottom bun is, at first glance, 297 00:15:43,296 --> 00:15:45,331 a chicken-fried steak. 298 00:15:45,365 --> 00:15:47,199 But it's worth a closer look, because... 299 00:15:47,234 --> 00:15:49,769 Sir, sir, sir. We've already made it. 300 00:15:49,803 --> 00:15:53,272 The Open-Mouthed Turkey Goofball? 301 00:15:53,306 --> 00:15:55,775 That is so not me. 302 00:15:55,809 --> 00:15:57,810 But I'll take six. 303 00:15:57,844 --> 00:16:00,479 We're honored to have with us the mayor... 304 00:16:02,249 --> 00:16:04,984 ...and First Doofus Homer Simpson. 305 00:16:06,586 --> 00:16:11,123 Homer's made Marge happy more times than he can count: three! 306 00:16:12,526 --> 00:16:15,327 And we're here for a very, very serious charity: 307 00:16:15,362 --> 00:16:16,829 Save the Whales. 308 00:16:16,863 --> 00:16:18,964 All right, that's it! 309 00:16:18,999 --> 00:16:21,233 No. That's really why we're here! 310 00:16:23,270 --> 00:16:24,470 I am not a whale! 311 00:16:24,504 --> 00:16:27,840 I am a man with blubber and several harpoon scars! 312 00:16:39,886 --> 00:16:42,188 What a day for this town. 313 00:16:42,222 --> 00:16:45,157 We've made a deal with the librarians' union. 314 00:16:45,192 --> 00:16:46,192 Shh. 315 00:16:46,226 --> 00:16:47,359 Homer would've been here, 316 00:16:47,394 --> 00:16:49,328 but he backed out when he heard the library 317 00:16:49,362 --> 00:16:51,030 didn't have any pop-up books. 318 00:17:01,508 --> 00:17:03,476 Great news, Marge. You've tapped into something 319 00:17:03,510 --> 00:17:07,146 women and men can agree on: husbands are idiots. 320 00:17:07,180 --> 00:17:08,514 Yeah, I guess. 321 00:17:08,548 --> 00:17:10,149 While you're guessing, I'm running with this. 322 00:17:10,183 --> 00:17:11,851 Take a look at the balloon we've made 323 00:17:11,885 --> 00:17:13,185 for the Thanksgiving parade. 324 00:17:15,021 --> 00:17:16,555 I don't care what people say. 325 00:17:16,590 --> 00:17:19,859 My Homie makes one sexy blimp. 326 00:17:22,062 --> 00:17:24,096 I need to talk to somebody. 327 00:17:26,580 --> 00:17:29,883 _ 328 00:17:31,238 --> 00:17:32,404 Mayor Quimby? 329 00:17:32,439 --> 00:17:35,708 No, just ordinary Diamond Joe. 330 00:17:35,742 --> 00:17:37,209 Uh-oh, I know that look. 331 00:17:37,244 --> 00:17:40,379 That's a mayor on the ropes or a wife who wants a divorce. 332 00:17:40,413 --> 00:17:41,847 I'm familiar with both. 333 00:17:41,882 --> 00:17:43,349 Er, uh, indeed. 334 00:17:43,383 --> 00:17:47,052 Joe, is it possible to have a decent family life 335 00:17:47,087 --> 00:17:49,221 and be a good political leader? 336 00:17:49,256 --> 00:17:51,423 Marge, I don't want to talk about that anymore, 337 00:17:51,458 --> 00:17:54,426 but I'll tell you this: retirement agrees with me. 338 00:17:54,461 --> 00:17:55,928 The first night out of office, 339 00:17:55,962 --> 00:17:58,364 I noticed a gorgeous woman lying next to me, 340 00:17:58,398 --> 00:18:01,534 and I said, "Holy crap, I'm married to her." 341 00:18:01,568 --> 00:18:03,536 Go long, boys. 342 00:18:03,570 --> 00:18:06,572 Er, ah, er, ah, er, ah, er... 343 00:18:08,575 --> 00:18:11,777 Marge, there's no "mayor" in marriage. 344 00:18:11,811 --> 00:18:13,879 There almost is. It's really close. 345 00:18:13,914 --> 00:18:15,214 But I'm afraid not. 346 00:18:16,416 --> 00:18:17,683 Meet you in the boathouse later? 347 00:18:18,718 --> 00:18:20,686 Oh, Marge, I want to thank you 348 00:18:20,720 --> 00:18:22,454 for giving me back my Joseph. 349 00:18:22,489 --> 00:18:23,556 Will you stay? 350 00:18:23,590 --> 00:18:25,858 I just made a giant pitcher of gimlets, 351 00:18:25,892 --> 00:18:28,127 but I can make a second one if you're staying. 352 00:18:28,161 --> 00:18:29,695 No, I have to get back. 353 00:18:29,729 --> 00:18:33,065 We're christening a new manhole cover on 4th Street. 354 00:18:34,601 --> 00:18:35,601 So sad. 355 00:18:35,602 --> 00:18:36,969 Can't you stay for a bit? 356 00:18:37,003 --> 00:18:39,972 Uh, we need some help serving coffee and cake. 357 00:18:40,006 --> 00:18:42,741 I swear this is the last time. 358 00:18:42,776 --> 00:18:44,777 There's more where that came from! 359 00:18:47,614 --> 00:18:50,983 Thank you. I couldn't be here without my husband. 360 00:18:52,953 --> 00:18:54,820 He's a big supporter. 361 00:18:54,854 --> 00:18:56,255 So big... 362 00:18:57,814 --> 00:19:02,484 _ 363 00:19:05,458 --> 00:19:07,709 _ 364 00:19:07,834 --> 00:19:10,636 So big, I wish all of you could 365 00:19:10,670 --> 00:19:12,638 know the love in his heart. 366 00:19:13,974 --> 00:19:15,808 Everyone, look inside yourself 367 00:19:15,842 --> 00:19:19,111 and find your Homer Simpson. 368 00:19:19,145 --> 00:19:21,013 Mwah! 369 00:19:28,021 --> 00:19:31,023 It's so beautiful. 370 00:19:33,560 --> 00:19:36,061 We make the magic happen, baby. 371 00:19:41,538 --> 00:19:44,989 _ 372 00:19:47,168 --> 00:19:49,511 _ 373 00:19:49,519 --> 00:19:51,832 _ 374 00:19:52,367 --> 00:19:54,583 _ 375 00:19:54,708 --> 00:19:56,465 _ 376 00:19:56,528 --> 00:19:58,295 Can we just skip that one? 377 00:19:58,325 --> 00:20:00,326 I would, but you have to walk through it 378 00:20:00,360 --> 00:20:01,827 to get to the cafeteria. 379 00:20:01,862 --> 00:20:03,529 Oh. Okay. 380 00:20:03,731 --> 00:20:06,223 _ 381 00:20:06,678 --> 00:20:13,491 - Sync and corrections by ByDem - - www.addic7ed.com - 9999 00:00:0,500 --> 00:00:2,00 www.tvsubtitles.net 26581

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