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1
00:00:08,897 --> 00:00:16,838
Subtitles by MemoryOnSmells
http://UKsubtitles.ru.
2
00:00:37,969 --> 00:00:39,024
I'm Dennis.
3
00:00:39,025 --> 00:00:42,956
I live in an ordinary house
in an ordinary street
4
00:00:42,957 --> 00:00:44,972
in an ordinary town.
5
00:00:44,973 --> 00:00:47,933
But I feel... different.
6
00:00:53,941 --> 00:00:56,024
I go to an ordinary school.
7
00:00:56,025 --> 00:00:59,973
But I feel different there, too.
8
00:01:11,945 --> 00:01:13,977
Put him on an amber alert.
9
00:01:16,017 --> 00:01:18,020
Thank you.
10
00:01:18,021 --> 00:01:21,017
Ah - Lisa James. The serial offender.
11
00:01:23,945 --> 00:01:26,936
Shall I measure her skirt,
Mr Hawthorn?
12
00:01:26,937 --> 00:01:28,941
Lisa James is the coolest
girl there.
13
00:01:29,973 --> 00:01:33,005
She's always trying to bring
some style to the school.
14
00:01:33,006 --> 00:01:34,953
Dennis?
15
00:01:35,953 --> 00:01:37,989
Que voulez-vous acheter
dans le magasin?
16
00:01:40,013 --> 00:01:42,936
Um...
17
00:01:42,937 --> 00:01:43,985
Une voiture?
18
00:01:45,993 --> 00:01:49,964
Mais, c'est une boulangerie!
19
00:01:49,965 --> 00:01:53,968
Nous ne vendons pas de voiture dans
une boulangerie.
20
00:01:53,969 --> 00:01:57,968
Ecoutez, Dennis. Ecoutez.
Isabel?
21
00:01:57,969 --> 00:01:58,992
De... je pain
22
00:01:58,993 --> 00:02:02,928
Du. DU pain, oui.
Du pain, du pain.
23
00:02:02,929 --> 00:02:05,961
The teachers moan that
I'm always daydreaming.
24
00:02:06,985 --> 00:02:10,024
Saturdays are the best,
cos that means football.
25
00:02:10,025 --> 00:02:13,992
All right, Darvesh? Yep.
Hi, Jaspreet. Is that a new dupatta?
26
00:02:13,993 --> 00:02:19,940
Yes, thank you Dennis, it is.
Oh, you always notice things!
27
00:02:19,941 --> 00:02:22,004
Wish my son would notice
things like that.
28
00:02:22,005 --> 00:02:25,957
I notice you're embarrassing.
29
00:02:28,941 --> 00:02:30,941
Football is the one thing
I'm good at.
30
00:02:30,941 --> 00:02:31,992
Go on, Dennis!
31
00:02:31,993 --> 00:02:33,949
The one thing that's mine.
32
00:02:37,025 --> 00:02:38,988
Yes! Goal!
33
00:02:38,989 --> 00:02:42,977
But I still don't feel like
I fit in.
34
00:02:42,977 --> 00:02:44,977
Dad doesn't come to watch anymore.
35
00:02:46,009 --> 00:02:49,025
But these days
he has got a lot on his plate.
36
00:02:52,013 --> 00:02:55,009
Oh! I'm knackered just
watching that lot.
37
00:02:57,969 --> 00:02:59,953
Sausages are a bit burnt.
38
00:03:01,957 --> 00:03:04,985
And I forgot to put the hob on for
the peas, but they'll soon melt.
39
00:03:06,961 --> 00:03:09,016
Things aren't easy in my family.
40
00:03:09,017 --> 00:03:11,009
It was better when Mum was around.
41
00:03:14,965 --> 00:03:17,993
When you were with her, you
felt like anything could happen.
42
00:03:19,929 --> 00:03:22,936
Come on, everyone! Don't be boring!
43
00:03:22,937 --> 00:03:24,968
Then one day it did.
44
00:03:24,969 --> 00:03:27,008
She left.
45
00:03:27,009 --> 00:03:31,965
After she'd gone, Dad burned every
single picture we had of her.
46
00:03:45,025 --> 00:03:46,981
But I managed to save one.
47
00:03:52,989 --> 00:03:54,985
What you doing? Ssh!
48
00:03:57,001 --> 00:04:01,989
But Dad being Dad, he couldn't resist
cooking some sausages at the same time.
49
00:04:05,949 --> 00:04:09,009
I suppose I wanted to escape
to some magical world.
50
00:04:11,941 --> 00:04:14,941
And I found it in the most
unexpected place.
51
00:04:32,949 --> 00:04:34,997
Dennis!
52
00:04:40,941 --> 00:04:42,021
Dennis!
53
00:04:52,929 --> 00:04:54,992
Boys can like Vogue too, you know...
54
00:04:54,993 --> 00:04:56,973
Ahem!
55
00:04:56,973 --> 00:04:59,981
33 seconds. That counts as browsing.
56
00:05:20,965 --> 00:05:22,928
Just Match and... Vogue.
57
00:05:22,929 --> 00:05:24,000
Uh-huh.
58
00:05:24,001 --> 00:05:25,936
Vogue!
59
00:05:25,937 --> 00:05:28,004
The fashionista's Bible.
60
00:05:28,005 --> 00:05:31,016
An unusual choice for
a 12-year-old boy.
61
00:05:31,017 --> 00:05:32,972
Raj, I need to be getting home,
so...
62
00:05:32,973 --> 00:05:36,992
Come to think of it, I've never had
a boy your age buy Vogue.
63
00:05:36,993 --> 00:05:39,952
It's a Christmas present.
For my auntie.
64
00:05:39,953 --> 00:05:42,024
Oh, oh, oh! Then you will need
a card.
65
00:05:42,025 --> 00:05:44,952
A card? Uh-huh. To go with
the present.
66
00:05:44,953 --> 00:05:47,984
I have Santa, a snowman, reindeers,
67
00:05:47,985 --> 00:05:50,940
"with deepest sympathy"...
68
00:05:50,941 --> 00:05:53,008
No, no, no. That's not right.
The Santa one is fine.
69
00:05:53,009 --> 00:05:56,976
Then you will want wrapping paper
and sticking tape,
70
00:05:56,977 --> 00:05:58,960
and - oh, oh, oh! - a gift tag.
71
00:05:58,961 --> 00:06:00,937
That is nine pounds...
72
00:06:10,949 --> 00:06:13,020
Come on, Dennis. Strike a pose.
73
00:06:13,021 --> 00:06:15,989
Come Fly With Me
by Michael Buble
74
00:06:32,997 --> 00:06:34,981
Dennis?
75
00:06:40,989 --> 00:06:43,944
What you doing?
76
00:06:43,945 --> 00:06:47,940
Nothing. Just... thinking.
77
00:06:47,941 --> 00:06:48,985
What?
78
00:06:50,013 --> 00:06:54,956
You know how when we were little,
we'd dress as pirates and Daleks?
79
00:06:54,957 --> 00:06:56,928
Yeah.
80
00:06:56,929 --> 00:06:57,980
Don't you sort of miss that?
81
00:06:57,981 --> 00:06:59,992
Nah. Got better things to do now.
82
00:06:59,993 --> 00:07:01,976
Like hang around outside the offy?
83
00:07:01,977 --> 00:07:05,013
Nah. That's boring. We hang
around outside the Pound Shop.
84
00:07:43,017 --> 00:07:47,945
See you later! See you very soon.
85
00:07:48,993 --> 00:07:51,008
It's a party!
I'm not 18 years old!
86
00:07:51,009 --> 00:07:53,997
Why did you agree to have a party?
You're acting like I'm not here!
87
00:08:05,937 --> 00:08:07,021
Think it shrunk a bit.
88
00:08:10,953 --> 00:08:12,960
There you go. Thanks, Dad.
89
00:08:12,961 --> 00:08:15,988
Right, now. The lorry's being
serviced today, so I've got a bit of time.
90
00:08:15,989 --> 00:08:18,949
I was going to fix that leaky
pipe in your room.
91
00:08:19,961 --> 00:08:22,021
Where you going?
Forgot my maths book.
92
00:08:36,941 --> 00:08:38,981
Hiya, Peter! Hi, Jaspreet.
93
00:08:41,025 --> 00:08:43,004
Dennis'll be down in a sec.
94
00:08:43,005 --> 00:08:47,012
Oh! Not too soon, I hope.
I do so enjoy our little chats.
95
00:08:47,013 --> 00:08:48,017
Dennis!
96
00:08:50,981 --> 00:08:52,013
Any sec now. Just...
97
00:08:53,961 --> 00:08:56,008
Dennis!
98
00:08:56,009 --> 00:08:58,960
Get down here! Here we are.
99
00:08:58,961 --> 00:09:00,012
Hiya. Bye, Dad.
100
00:09:00,013 --> 00:09:02,928
All the best.
Thanks for taking him again.
101
00:09:02,929 --> 00:09:04,000
Oh, no. Not at all, Peter.
102
00:09:04,001 --> 00:09:06,980
And if you need anything, just call.
103
00:09:06,981 --> 00:09:11,012
Anything at all, day or... night.
104
00:09:11,013 --> 00:09:12,969
Oh. Yep.
105
00:09:14,933 --> 00:09:16,973
I'll just, er...
106
00:09:19,973 --> 00:09:22,928
There we are, then.
107
00:09:22,929 --> 00:09:23,941
See you later!
108
00:09:26,989 --> 00:09:28,949
Yeah, I'm the captain.
109
00:09:28,949 --> 00:09:30,949
Chief goal scorer,
so I take all the penalties.
110
00:09:30,950 --> 00:09:32,929
He takes all the penalties.
111
00:09:49,965 --> 00:09:52,952
Why do we have a school
uniform, Miss James?
112
00:09:52,953 --> 00:09:55,004
To keep the nylon
factories going, sir?
113
00:09:55,005 --> 00:09:59,948
Because a uniform ensures discipline
and without discipline...
114
00:09:59,949 --> 00:10:01,988
Chaos ensues.
115
00:10:01,989 --> 00:10:04,952
Miss Price, I am
capable of finishing my own...
116
00:10:04,953 --> 00:10:06,944
Sentences.
117
00:10:06,945 --> 00:10:10,004
Sorry, Mr Hawthorn.
118
00:10:10,005 --> 00:10:14,013
Oi, Simms!
Think you're clever, don't you?
119
00:10:16,025 --> 00:10:17,944
I'm just practising.
120
00:10:17,945 --> 00:10:20,937
Well, let's see
if you've improved, then.
121
00:10:21,957 --> 00:10:23,005
Hit that can.
122
00:10:34,985 --> 00:10:39,941
I expect everyone at this school to
be dressed immaculately at all times.
123
00:10:50,957 --> 00:10:56,013
Ssh! Quiet, please. This is a
detention, it's not a discotheque.
124
00:11:07,929 --> 00:11:08,965
What are you in for?
125
00:11:11,937 --> 00:11:13,928
Kicked a ball through
the Head's window.
126
00:11:13,929 --> 00:11:16,996
That was you? Respect.
127
00:11:16,997 --> 00:11:20,000
What's your name?
Dennis Simms.
128
00:11:20,001 --> 00:11:22,961
John's little brother? Yeah.
129
00:11:25,001 --> 00:11:28,008
I'm Lisa. I know. You're a legend!
You're the coolest girl in school.
130
00:11:28,009 --> 00:11:31,993
I love the way you dress. Every day
there's a new little twist and...
131
00:11:33,025 --> 00:11:36,000
Don't worry, I'm not obsessed.
132
00:11:36,001 --> 00:11:38,977
No, no. You don't sound it at all!
133
00:11:50,013 --> 00:11:51,956
Vogue!
134
00:11:51,957 --> 00:11:53,988
That's not mine.
I don't know how that got there.
135
00:11:53,989 --> 00:11:55,960
Can you get on with your work,
please?
136
00:11:55,961 --> 00:11:57,980
I'm trying to buy some
Christmas present...
137
00:11:57,981 --> 00:11:59,949
I meant - I'm doing marking.
138
00:12:04,013 --> 00:12:07,960
I thought I was the only one
round here who read this.
139
00:12:07,961 --> 00:12:09,960
You are, cos, like I said,
it's not mine.
140
00:12:09,961 --> 00:12:13,953
You into haute couture or
pret-a-porter? I'm easy.
141
00:12:16,937 --> 00:12:18,977
You're new to all this, aren't you?
142
00:12:18,977 --> 00:12:20,997
Don't Pret make sandwiches?
143
00:12:23,953 --> 00:12:25,976
But some of that stuff is
too mad to wear, surely.
144
00:12:25,977 --> 00:12:28,957
And there's a cardigan on one page
and it says it costs £300.
145
00:12:28,957 --> 00:12:30,021
That has got to be a mistake?
146
00:12:30,022 --> 00:12:31,989
So many questions, young Hobbit.
147
00:12:31,989 --> 00:12:34,149
And there was one dress,
and it had shoulders out here.
148
00:12:34,208 --> 00:12:36,180
I mean, how can you
get on the bus in that?
149
00:12:36,180 --> 00:12:39,135
Oh. Well, this is my house. Bye.
150
00:12:39,136 --> 00:12:41,147
Oh, OK.
151
00:12:41,148 --> 00:12:42,152
Bye.
152
00:12:45,172 --> 00:12:47,191
So, you'll come round Saturday, then?
153
00:12:47,192 --> 00:12:50,135
What for? To learn.
154
00:12:50,136 --> 00:12:51,168
Everything.
155
00:13:01,156 --> 00:13:02,191
Where are you going?
156
00:13:02,192 --> 00:13:04,131
To Lisa James' house.
157
00:13:04,132 --> 00:13:06,188
Oh, yeah.
And I've got a date with Rihanna!
158
00:13:12,148 --> 00:13:13,171
Hey.
159
00:13:13,172 --> 00:13:15,208
All right? Come in. Fancy a drink?
160
00:13:15,208 --> 00:13:18,119
Why not?
161
00:13:18,120 --> 00:13:19,204
Champagne cocktail?
162
00:13:21,164 --> 00:13:22,208
You're under age.
163
00:13:24,124 --> 00:13:25,180
Um Bongo?
164
00:13:28,124 --> 00:13:33,179
That's gorgeous! Classic Dior.
Look at this from the '70s.
165
00:13:33,180 --> 00:13:36,159
You see how the lines are all
the same?
166
00:13:36,160 --> 00:13:40,167
Now, this is Italian Vogue.
My favourite.
167
00:13:40,168 --> 00:13:43,171
You'd look amazing in that.
Wouldn't anyone?
168
00:13:43,172 --> 00:13:46,180
My mum loved to dress up.
She always looked great.
169
00:13:48,140 --> 00:13:50,159
What happened to her?
170
00:13:50,160 --> 00:13:53,160
She ran off with this guy who's
got his own roofing company.
171
00:13:53,160 --> 00:13:56,163
Granny says they've got a baby
together now.
172
00:13:56,164 --> 00:13:58,167
I'm sorry. Me too.
173
00:13:58,168 --> 00:14:01,151
Now I live in a house
full of blokes.
174
00:14:01,152 --> 00:14:03,192
It's just so boring and grey
sometimes.
175
00:14:04,212 --> 00:14:06,180
Can I show you something?
176
00:14:14,140 --> 00:14:16,175
Wow! Who made that?
177
00:14:16,176 --> 00:14:18,119
Me.
178
00:14:18,120 --> 00:14:20,211
I'd do it at school, but the Head
won't let us do fashion tech.
179
00:14:20,212 --> 00:14:24,147
How am I meant to be a designer if I
can't even get any qualifications?
180
00:14:24,148 --> 00:14:25,180
It's beautiful.
181
00:14:26,208 --> 00:14:28,187
Maybe...
182
00:14:28,188 --> 00:14:30,187
you should try it on?
183
00:14:30,188 --> 00:14:32,163
What? No!
184
00:14:32,164 --> 00:14:34,159
Go on, try it on.
I can't do that.
185
00:14:34,160 --> 00:14:36,207
Who's going to
have a problem with it?
186
00:14:36,208 --> 00:14:38,195
Well, let's see -
187
00:14:38,196 --> 00:14:43,195
my dad, my brother, the Head,
the football team,
188
00:14:43,196 --> 00:14:45,191
oh - and everyone else I know.
189
00:14:45,192 --> 00:14:47,116
Not me.
190
00:14:48,148 --> 00:14:51,143
I don't think there should be
any rules.
191
00:14:51,144 --> 00:14:54,155
I think we should all wear...
192
00:14:54,156 --> 00:14:56,167
whatever we like.
193
00:14:56,168 --> 00:15:01,204
Yeah, but whoever heard of
a boy in a dress?
194
00:15:09,140 --> 00:15:12,143
We've got the Christmas things
from out the shed. Oh, right.
195
00:15:12,144 --> 00:15:14,187
Thought we could all do
the tree together.
196
00:15:14,188 --> 00:15:16,156
I used to do that with your mum.
197
00:15:17,208 --> 00:15:22,120
I was on tinsel, she was on baubles.
198
00:15:23,196 --> 00:15:25,176
Let's do it later, yeah?
199
00:15:28,180 --> 00:15:30,191
Why don't you come to
the semifinals?
200
00:15:30,192 --> 00:15:34,127
Can't remember the last time
you saw me play footy. Oh, I can.
201
00:15:34,128 --> 00:15:35,199
She came, too.
202
00:15:35,200 --> 00:15:38,143
It was just before that...
203
00:15:38,144 --> 00:15:41,171
so-and-so came to fix the roof.
204
00:15:41,172 --> 00:15:43,200
I'll get it.
205
00:15:53,188 --> 00:15:55,127
Hello?
206
00:15:55,128 --> 00:15:56,195
Lisa.
207
00:15:56,196 --> 00:15:58,172
Yes, John, it's me.
208
00:16:00,184 --> 00:16:02,175
Is Dennis in?
209
00:16:02,176 --> 00:16:06,115
Who?
Your brother, Dennis.
210
00:16:06,116 --> 00:16:07,184
Oh, yeah. Wait there.
211
00:16:27,148 --> 00:16:31,124
He's out all day, but I'll tell you
who's here, and that's me.
212
00:16:33,204 --> 00:16:35,132
Little accident?
213
00:16:37,176 --> 00:16:40,131
I thought we could
hang around outside the chippy?
214
00:16:40,132 --> 00:16:44,163
Throw things in the canal?
Whatever you want to do, babes.
215
00:16:44,164 --> 00:16:46,119
Oh, look - he's back.
216
00:16:46,120 --> 00:16:48,128
You ready? Sure. See you later.
217
00:16:54,164 --> 00:16:56,128
Raise your game, son.
218
00:16:59,184 --> 00:17:02,143
I've got something to show you.
219
00:17:02,144 --> 00:17:03,164
Really?
220
00:17:07,144 --> 00:17:08,148
Do you like it?
221
00:17:09,196 --> 00:17:12,183
I love it.
I've been working on it all night.
222
00:17:12,184 --> 00:17:15,131
I need to make a few adjustments.
223
00:17:15,132 --> 00:17:16,176
Will you... put it on?
224
00:17:17,200 --> 00:17:20,139
Put on the dress? Yeah.
225
00:17:20,140 --> 00:17:23,119
Oh. Unless, of course,
you really don't want to?
226
00:17:23,120 --> 00:17:25,172
No, no! I mean,
if it helps you out...
227
00:17:43,140 --> 00:17:45,132
Why are you laughing?
228
00:17:46,140 --> 00:17:49,208
You look incredible.
229
00:17:49,208 --> 00:17:52,187
How does it fit? Perfectly!
230
00:17:52,188 --> 00:17:55,212
So, who did you make it for?
231
00:17:57,156 --> 00:17:59,179
You! What?!
232
00:17:59,180 --> 00:18:03,127
Oh, I'm not stupid. I can tell you
really wanted to wear one.
233
00:18:03,128 --> 00:18:05,207
And you could totally
pass for a girl,
234
00:18:05,208 --> 00:18:08,131
with a few extra little touches.
235
00:18:08,132 --> 00:18:10,168
Do you really think so?
You could go out in that.
236
00:18:10,169 --> 00:18:12,116
Where?
237
00:18:12,116 --> 00:18:16,155
I dunno. Down the street? Into town?
How about Raj's shop!
238
00:18:16,156 --> 00:18:18,191
You would get away with it, I swear.
239
00:18:18,192 --> 00:18:20,124
Yeah, but...
240
00:18:22,156 --> 00:18:24,212
..we aren't actually
going to do it, are we?
241
00:18:31,208 --> 00:18:33,123
I'm scared.
242
00:18:33,124 --> 00:18:36,140
Just be confident.
The world is your catwalk.
243
00:18:37,140 --> 00:18:39,183
This isn't a good idea.
Raj knows me.
244
00:18:39,184 --> 00:18:43,132
He knows Dennis.
He's never met Denise.
245
00:18:44,164 --> 00:18:47,152
Who's Denise?
246
00:18:51,156 --> 00:18:54,207
Aha, Lisa, my favourite customer!
247
00:18:54,208 --> 00:18:57,135
Who is your new friend?
248
00:18:57,136 --> 00:19:01,124
This is my French exchange... person.
Girl. Student.
249
00:19:03,132 --> 00:19:05,127
Bonjour.
250
00:19:05,128 --> 00:19:07,179
Je am... Denise.
251
00:19:07,180 --> 00:19:11,159
Wilkommen!
My shop is famous around the world.
252
00:19:11,160 --> 00:19:13,184
Surely you've heard of it?
253
00:19:13,184 --> 00:19:16,123
Non, Monsieur Raj.
254
00:19:16,124 --> 00:19:19,139
You know my name! You must have!
255
00:19:19,140 --> 00:19:24,115
How about commemorative postcards to
send to your family back in France?
256
00:19:24,116 --> 00:19:26,151
They're blank. Yes, I know.
257
00:19:26,152 --> 00:19:29,183
You can draw British
landmarks on them with...
258
00:19:29,184 --> 00:19:33,175
this set of colouring pens,
priced just £4.99.
259
00:19:33,176 --> 00:19:35,152
We'll just take this magazine.
260
00:19:37,192 --> 00:19:39,199
Now, Denise, before you leave,
261
00:19:39,200 --> 00:19:43,191
you must try our traditional
British delicacies.
262
00:19:43,192 --> 00:19:46,155
These Twixs came in fresh
this morning.
263
00:19:46,156 --> 00:19:47,180
Non, merci.
264
00:19:48,204 --> 00:19:51,143
Le Munch De Monster,
s'il vous plait.
265
00:19:51,144 --> 00:19:52,224
Excellent choice, senorita.
266
00:19:55,160 --> 00:19:58,199
- Bye, Raj.
- Bye.
267
00:19:58,200 --> 00:20:00,207
Au revoir.
268
00:20:00,208 --> 00:20:02,203
Ciao!
269
00:20:02,204 --> 00:20:06,147
Peter. Perfect Peter.
270
00:20:06,148 --> 00:20:08,179
Peter the poppet.
271
00:20:08,180 --> 00:20:10,199
Peter Piper picked a peck
of pickled pepper.
272
00:20:10,200 --> 00:20:12,147
Wh-what exactly do you want?
273
00:20:12,148 --> 00:20:15,131
Yeah, is Dennis ready for the semis?
274
00:20:15,132 --> 00:20:17,123
Well, he's... Do you know, Peter,
275
00:20:17,124 --> 00:20:21,187
every time I pop by and accidently
peep through your windows,
276
00:20:21,188 --> 00:20:25,148
I can't help thinking that this
house could do with a woman's touch.
277
00:20:26,196 --> 00:20:29,155
He's... So I've bought you some
scatter cushions.
278
00:20:29,156 --> 00:20:31,143
And a couple of photo frames.
279
00:20:31,144 --> 00:20:34,184
And oh, look - who's this?
280
00:20:38,152 --> 00:20:41,115
He's out. With that Lisa James
girl from school.
281
00:20:41,116 --> 00:20:44,156
I will find him. Stay strong.
282
00:20:58,120 --> 00:21:02,135
That was hilarious!
I know! So, when do we do it again?
283
00:21:02,136 --> 00:21:03,167
How about never?
284
00:21:03,168 --> 00:21:06,203
What about the shopping centre?
Tons of people there. No!
285
00:21:06,204 --> 00:21:09,119
Lisa, where's Dennis?
286
00:21:09,120 --> 00:21:11,151
The semifinals!
287
00:21:11,152 --> 00:21:12,211
Er, Dennis?
288
00:21:12,212 --> 00:21:16,143
He said to tell you, if I saw you,
289
00:21:16,144 --> 00:21:19,139
like, um, I'm seeing you now,
290
00:21:19,140 --> 00:21:21,115
to say that he...
291
00:21:21,116 --> 00:21:24,124
will be home in five minutes.
292
00:21:27,148 --> 00:21:28,184
Well, come on!
293
00:21:34,180 --> 00:21:36,156
How can anyone run in these?
294
00:22:10,196 --> 00:22:12,144
All right, speedy!
295
00:22:16,148 --> 00:22:17,211
Where were you?
296
00:22:17,212 --> 00:22:19,156
Doing weights.
297
00:22:26,128 --> 00:22:28,187
Are you a fan of
the rap music, Dennis?
298
00:22:28,188 --> 00:22:30,120
Just say no.
299
00:22:38,164 --> 00:22:39,208
..come and see me.
300
00:22:41,144 --> 00:22:42,159
..see me.
301
00:22:42,160 --> 00:22:44,180
..so easily. Ooh...
302
00:22:44,180 --> 00:22:46,156
Please, don't do that.
303
00:22:48,160 --> 00:22:49,196
Eh eh eh-eh!
304
00:22:55,184 --> 00:22:57,183
Look at him!
305
00:22:57,184 --> 00:22:59,156
Oh, go back to Hogwarts.
306
00:23:01,172 --> 00:23:04,211
Darv, is it weird wearing
a patka on your head?
307
00:23:04,212 --> 00:23:06,187
Nah, it's just a Sikh thing.
308
00:23:06,188 --> 00:23:09,199
Yeah, I know, but you're the only
boy at school who wears one.
309
00:23:09,200 --> 00:23:11,127
It's no big deal.
310
00:23:11,128 --> 00:23:13,488
And it would be boring if we were
all the same, wouldn't it?
311
00:23:16,168 --> 00:23:20,115
So, you're playing St Kenneth's.
312
00:23:20,116 --> 00:23:23,195
Private school, state-of-the-art
sports facilities,
313
00:23:23,196 --> 00:23:27,159
and, let's face it,
a better gene pool.
314
00:23:27,160 --> 00:23:30,140
Now, on paper, things
don't look very good...
315
00:23:31,208 --> 00:23:34,188
..and, looking at you now,
it's a lot worse.
316
00:23:36,116 --> 00:23:39,147
You're always out of breath,
you've got chubby legs,
317
00:23:39,148 --> 00:23:42,123
and most of you are still waiting
for your growth spurt.
318
00:23:42,124 --> 00:23:44,211
Sorry, son, it's been and gone.
319
00:23:44,212 --> 00:23:47,168
Right, come on.
Put your hands in the middle.
320
00:23:52,176 --> 00:23:53,184
Now lift them up.
321
00:23:53,184 --> 00:23:55,151
Whoosh.
322
00:23:55,152 --> 00:23:59,123
That's supposed to help.
I've got no idea how.
323
00:23:59,124 --> 00:24:00,164
Come on, then.
324
00:24:07,116 --> 00:24:11,160
Whoo! Come on, football! Oh! Oh! Oh!
325
00:24:13,132 --> 00:24:16,191
It's tails. Yes! Won the toss.
326
00:24:16,192 --> 00:24:19,135
Once again, the captain leads
from the front.
327
00:24:19,136 --> 00:24:21,184
Gareth, we were all talking
about penalties...
328
00:24:21,185 --> 00:24:24,212
I'm the captain, I'm taking them.
329
00:24:24,212 --> 00:24:26,140
Change ends!
330
00:24:54,144 --> 00:24:55,187
Dennis.
331
00:24:55,188 --> 00:24:56,196
To me.
332
00:24:57,208 --> 00:24:59,132
Good luck.
333
00:25:06,128 --> 00:25:07,160
Come on, Gareth!
334
00:25:29,204 --> 00:25:31,156
Bad luck!
335
00:25:45,120 --> 00:25:46,171
Strike it!
336
00:25:46,172 --> 00:25:47,180
Yes!
337
00:25:52,196 --> 00:25:54,119
What's happened?
338
00:25:54,120 --> 00:25:55,183
We won.
339
00:25:55,184 --> 00:25:57,164
Really? Yes.
340
00:25:58,196 --> 00:25:59,204
Pretty good.
341
00:26:03,124 --> 00:26:04,324
You should stick to quidditch.
342
00:26:12,196 --> 00:26:14,199
Dad! We won!
343
00:26:14,200 --> 00:26:16,172
That's great. Well done.
344
00:26:18,204 --> 00:26:22,168
So you didn't get a chance
to put up the tree?
345
00:26:23,196 --> 00:26:24,212
Oh. Sorry, son.
346
00:26:26,152 --> 00:26:30,123
We're not doing Christmas this year.
I just can't face it.
347
00:26:30,124 --> 00:26:34,127
Dad, sometimes I think you
choose to be miserable.
348
00:26:34,128 --> 00:26:35,212
Dennis! He does!
349
00:26:35,213 --> 00:26:38,196
It's like you made a rule -
you can never forget about Mum.
350
00:26:38,196 --> 00:26:40,139
Well, it's not that easy.
351
00:26:40,140 --> 00:26:43,127
You have to break the rules
sometimes. You can talk!
352
00:26:43,128 --> 00:26:46,140
What? He's got a picture
of Mum under his mattress.
353
00:26:57,124 --> 00:26:58,208
Bring it here now.
354
00:27:30,168 --> 00:27:32,199
I thought I said no reminders
of your mum in this house.
355
00:27:32,200 --> 00:27:35,147
But, Dad... This is going in
the bin where it belongs.
356
00:27:35,148 --> 00:27:36,184
It's my only one.
357
00:27:40,128 --> 00:27:41,132
I don't care.
358
00:27:46,200 --> 00:27:48,124
I'm going out!
359
00:28:06,204 --> 00:28:09,143
Dennis?
360
00:28:09,144 --> 00:28:12,127
Are you OK? I want to wear
the dress again.
361
00:28:12,128 --> 00:28:14,131
What? Go back to Raj's?
362
00:28:14,132 --> 00:28:18,187
No. I want to do something
much bigger. Something crazy.
363
00:28:18,188 --> 00:28:21,127
How crazy?
364
00:28:21,128 --> 00:28:22,176
Really crazy.
365
00:28:52,124 --> 00:28:53,159
Who's this?
366
00:28:53,160 --> 00:28:55,200
My French exchange student.
367
00:28:57,192 --> 00:28:59,155
Bonjour.
368
00:28:59,156 --> 00:29:00,191
Je m'appelle
369
00:29:00,192 --> 00:29:02,196
Denise.
370
00:29:02,196 --> 00:29:04,124
She's from Paris.
371
00:29:05,132 --> 00:29:08,139
I thought all the exchanges
were from Marseille.
372
00:29:08,140 --> 00:29:12,127
She's from Rue de Paris in Marseille.
373
00:29:12,128 --> 00:29:18,119
Even if she is, nobody enters this
school, of which I am the secretary,
374
00:29:18,120 --> 00:29:20,147
without written permission.
375
00:29:20,148 --> 00:29:22,195
Oh, I cleared it with the Head.
376
00:29:22,196 --> 00:29:25,159
Then let's go to the office
and check.
377
00:29:25,160 --> 00:29:26,196
Now.
378
00:29:28,132 --> 00:29:30,195
Sure. No problem.
379
00:29:30,196 --> 00:29:34,163
I mean, it will look like
you're questioning his authority,
380
00:29:34,164 --> 00:29:36,143
but you know best.
381
00:29:36,144 --> 00:29:39,167
Lisa James, you can talk to me
until you're blue in the face,
382
00:29:39,168 --> 00:29:42,119
but none of that is going
to change the fact that I've
383
00:29:42,120 --> 00:29:46,139
just decided it's all fine.
384
00:29:46,140 --> 00:29:47,204
Off to your lessons.
385
00:29:51,192 --> 00:29:53,143
How long are you staying?
386
00:29:53,144 --> 00:29:55,159
Cool bangle. Is it from France?
387
00:29:55,160 --> 00:29:58,143
Is it hard having to speak
French all day?
388
00:29:58,144 --> 00:29:59,179
Non.
389
00:29:59,180 --> 00:30:01,124
Sit down, shut up.
390
00:30:05,192 --> 00:30:07,115
You're new.
391
00:30:07,116 --> 00:30:08,172
She's from France.
392
00:30:08,173 --> 00:30:10,180
Oh, bonjour.
393
00:30:13,128 --> 00:30:15,119
No, that's all I've got.
394
00:30:15,120 --> 00:30:17,135
I'm Mr Norris.
395
00:30:17,136 --> 00:30:19,119
I teach PE,
396
00:30:19,120 --> 00:30:22,119
but they also make me take history.
397
00:30:22,120 --> 00:30:23,211
You know much history?
398
00:30:23,212 --> 00:30:25,131
No.
399
00:30:25,132 --> 00:30:27,123
Good. Then you'll fit right in.
400
00:30:27,124 --> 00:30:31,147
Start of the First World War. 1914.
401
00:30:31,148 --> 00:30:34,127
The Prime Minister
402
00:30:34,128 --> 00:30:36,128
was Winston Churchill.
403
00:30:41,212 --> 00:30:44,159
Gareth. Gareth Small.
404
00:30:44,160 --> 00:30:46,123
Captain of the football team.
405
00:30:46,124 --> 00:30:47,155
Bonjour, Gareth.
406
00:30:47,156 --> 00:30:49,191
Je too enjoy le football.
407
00:30:49,192 --> 00:30:52,195
So, do you score all the goals?
408
00:30:52,196 --> 00:30:55,171
I can't lie, babes. Yes, I do.
409
00:30:55,172 --> 00:30:57,155
Yeah, he does. What of it?
410
00:30:57,156 --> 00:31:00,148
Because I heard it is a boy
called...
411
00:31:01,156 --> 00:31:03,139
..Dennis.
412
00:31:03,140 --> 00:31:04,167
Don't know who told you that.
413
00:31:04,168 --> 00:31:06,119
Yeah, who told you that?
414
00:31:06,120 --> 00:31:07,163
Everyone says it.
415
00:31:07,164 --> 00:31:12,123
Yes, they say you are the one
who miss all the penalties.
416
00:31:12,124 --> 00:31:16,187
No, no, babes, I'm the star player.
You must come and watch a game.
417
00:31:16,188 --> 00:31:19,127
Don't come and watch a game.
418
00:31:19,128 --> 00:31:20,168
Come on, Gareth!
419
00:31:25,208 --> 00:31:27,140
Hey, Denise!
420
00:31:28,188 --> 00:31:31,132
Denise! Hey, Denise!
421
00:31:33,160 --> 00:31:35,172
This is just the best. I know.
422
00:31:45,156 --> 00:31:46,604
Dennis? Sh!
423
00:31:46,690 --> 00:31:49,460
What on earth are you doing? I'm just
being someone else for the day.
424
00:31:49,465 --> 00:31:51,448
Are you nuts? It's fun.
425
00:31:51,449 --> 00:31:53,476
It's not going to be fun
when everyone finds out.
426
00:31:53,477 --> 00:31:56,417
You'll never live this down.
Only you've recognised me.
427
00:31:56,417 --> 00:31:58,417
So far! You've got to get changed.
428
00:31:58,418 --> 00:32:01,421
Relax! I've got it all
under control.
429
00:32:06,481 --> 00:32:08,413
So, what's next?
430
00:32:09,489 --> 00:32:11,436
Double French.
431
00:32:11,437 --> 00:32:13,437
What? I'm getting out of here.
432
00:32:17,429 --> 00:32:18,464
Bonjour!
433
00:32:18,465 --> 00:32:21,416
Bonjour, Madame.
434
00:32:21,417 --> 00:32:25,409
-oiselle. -oiselle Windsor.
435
00:32:25,409 --> 00:32:26,445
Asseyez-vous.
436
00:32:30,461 --> 00:32:32,421
Et vous, qui etes-vous?
437
00:32:34,453 --> 00:32:36,460
Who are you?
438
00:32:36,461 --> 00:32:41,464
This is Denise, she's my
German pen pal, Ms.
439
00:32:41,465 --> 00:32:44,453
I thought you said she was
from France.
440
00:32:46,421 --> 00:32:48,473
Good point. Thank you.
441
00:32:49,473 --> 00:32:51,489
French pen pal.
442
00:32:53,473 --> 00:32:56,405
Ah, soyez la bienvenue!
443
00:32:57,457 --> 00:33:00,416
Quel grand plaisir
444
00:33:00,417 --> 00:33:04,408
de vous accueillir parmi nous
dans notre humble classe!
445
00:33:04,409 --> 00:33:07,416
C'est tout simplement merveilleux!
446
00:33:07,417 --> 00:33:09,448
J'ai tellement de questions
a vous poser.
447
00:33:09,449 --> 00:33:11,476
De qu'elle region de France
venez-vous?
448
00:33:11,477 --> 00:33:14,408
Comment sont les ecoles
dans votre region?
449
00:33:14,409 --> 00:33:17,489
Quel est votre passe temps favori?
Que font vos parents?
450
00:33:17,490 --> 00:33:21,433
Faites nous part de vos premieres
passion de l'Angleterre?
451
00:33:25,433 --> 00:33:29,432
May I speak in English
for one moment?
452
00:33:29,433 --> 00:33:30,453
Yes, of course.
453
00:33:31,461 --> 00:33:35,476
How can I put this,
how you say, politely?
454
00:33:35,477 --> 00:33:37,473
Poliment! Poliment!
455
00:33:40,393 --> 00:33:42,444
Madame Windsor. -oiselle.
456
00:33:42,445 --> 00:33:46,456
I am very sorry,
but I am not understanding
457
00:33:46,457 --> 00:33:48,433
anything you are saying...
458
00:33:49,433 --> 00:33:52,393
..because of your very poor
French accent.
459
00:34:04,449 --> 00:34:06,456
Do you need a tissue?
460
00:34:06,457 --> 00:34:09,480
I'll be fine. I've just got
something in my eye.
461
00:34:09,481 --> 00:34:13,437
I'll step outside for a minute.
My eye. L'oreille!
462
00:34:24,405 --> 00:34:25,444
What was all that about?
463
00:34:25,445 --> 00:34:28,460
Ms Windsor's one of the nice ones
and you totally humiliated her.
464
00:34:28,461 --> 00:34:31,396
You could have told me you
had double French today.
465
00:34:31,397 --> 00:34:32,448
I forgot. Sorry.
466
00:34:32,449 --> 00:34:34,448
There's nothing I can do now.
Look out!
467
00:34:34,449 --> 00:34:36,400
I don't know where he is.
468
00:34:36,401 --> 00:34:37,484
He left the house this
morning before me.
469
00:34:37,485 --> 00:34:39,440
Bunking off, I presume.
470
00:34:39,441 --> 00:34:42,436
That's not like Dennis.
I'm worried about him.
471
00:34:42,437 --> 00:34:44,456
I shall have to call your father.
472
00:34:44,457 --> 00:34:46,469
Just let me have a quick
look round first?
473
00:34:59,405 --> 00:35:00,452
What do you think you're doing?
474
00:35:00,453 --> 00:35:02,444
Coming over here,
stealing our boyfriends?
475
00:35:02,445 --> 00:35:04,440
I am not liking le Gareth
in that way.
476
00:35:04,441 --> 00:35:06,413
You lying French tart!
477
00:35:07,417 --> 00:35:09,416
Girls fight over me all the time.
478
00:35:09,417 --> 00:35:11,469
Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight!
479
00:35:21,453 --> 00:35:24,424
Oh, my days.
480
00:35:24,425 --> 00:35:25,457
Dennis?
481
00:35:47,453 --> 00:35:48,489
Silence!
482
00:36:00,425 --> 00:36:01,468
You.
483
00:36:01,469 --> 00:36:04,420
The boy in the dress. Sir,
it's not his fault, I...
484
00:36:04,421 --> 00:36:05,465
I said, silence.
485
00:36:17,461 --> 00:36:20,405
Would you care
to explain yourself, boy?
486
00:36:22,465 --> 00:36:25,469
Why did you come to school
today dressed in a...
487
00:36:28,393 --> 00:36:29,429
..dress?
488
00:36:30,433 --> 00:36:31,437
Don't know, sir.
489
00:36:32,441 --> 00:36:33,457
"Don't know, sir."
490
00:36:35,453 --> 00:36:37,461
Dennis Simms, you are a disgrace.
491
00:36:39,437 --> 00:36:41,489
But, then, what can we expect
of a boy from a...
492
00:36:44,421 --> 00:36:45,445
..broken home?
493
00:36:50,413 --> 00:36:51,445
You are expelled!
494
00:36:52,477 --> 00:36:55,396
But, sir... There are no buts, boy!
495
00:36:55,397 --> 00:36:57,468
But, Mr Hawthorn, you didn't
expel Karl Bates
496
00:36:57,469 --> 00:36:59,476
and he ate the school goldfish.
497
00:36:59,477 --> 00:37:02,409
You are on a final warning,
Lisa James.
498
00:37:03,437 --> 00:37:07,397
Please, sir, I don't want
to let my friends down.
499
00:37:08,409 --> 00:37:10,448
It's the cup final on Saturday.
500
00:37:10,449 --> 00:37:14,408
But, Dennis Simms, you will
not play on Saturday
501
00:37:14,409 --> 00:37:15,441
or any other day.
502
00:37:17,405 --> 00:37:19,433
You are no longer a pupil
at this school.
503
00:37:21,437 --> 00:37:23,405
Leave the premises at once.
504
00:37:45,457 --> 00:37:46,477
Expelled?
505
00:37:48,393 --> 00:37:49,433
For wearing a dress?
506
00:37:50,481 --> 00:37:52,409
And a wig.
507
00:37:53,477 --> 00:37:55,485
Oh, and some earrings.
508
00:37:57,449 --> 00:37:59,472
I thought I brought you up
to be men
509
00:37:59,473 --> 00:38:02,440
and this is how you pay me back?
510
00:38:02,441 --> 00:38:04,420
I've failed.
511
00:38:04,421 --> 00:38:07,449
I'll never wear a dress,
so you've only half failed.
512
00:38:10,417 --> 00:38:12,476
Why?
513
00:38:12,477 --> 00:38:14,409
I just want to know why.
514
00:38:16,433 --> 00:38:17,437
I guess...
515
00:38:18,457 --> 00:38:19,481
..it made me happy.
516
00:38:25,441 --> 00:38:27,472
Go to your room and
do your homework.
517
00:38:27,473 --> 00:38:30,441
I've been expelled.
I haven't got any homework.
518
00:38:30,442 --> 00:38:32,401
Then just go to your room.
519
00:38:35,485 --> 00:38:37,453
You can check my cupboard,
if you like.
520
00:38:37,453 --> 00:38:39,457
Just jeans and hoodies and...
521
00:38:49,473 --> 00:38:51,444
He can't talk to you now, Darvesh.
522
00:38:51,445 --> 00:38:54,416
Please, can you tell Dennis
he's still my friend?
523
00:38:54,417 --> 00:38:55,448
Your son always stuck up for me
524
00:38:55,449 --> 00:38:58,408
and it's very important he knows
that, whatever's happened,
525
00:38:58,409 --> 00:38:59,453
he'll always be my friend.
526
00:39:39,401 --> 00:39:42,444
Right, you're getting home-schooled
from now on.
527
00:39:42,445 --> 00:39:44,412
But it's Saturday. I don't care.
528
00:39:44,413 --> 00:39:46,460
I've circled Deal Or No Deal.
That's your maths.
529
00:39:46,461 --> 00:39:48,420
Pointless, general knowledge.
530
00:39:48,421 --> 00:39:51,440
Antiques Roadshow, history,
and I want them all watched
531
00:39:51,441 --> 00:39:53,485
by the time I get
back from the depot, thank you.
532
00:40:01,477 --> 00:40:03,392
Oh, no.
533
00:40:03,393 --> 00:40:05,428
Peter!
534
00:40:05,429 --> 00:40:07,417
Can we please talk about Dennis?
535
00:40:07,418 --> 00:40:09,397
You've got between here
and the lorry.
536
00:40:09,397 --> 00:40:12,432
Dennis is...
He's such a special boy.
537
00:40:12,433 --> 00:40:14,440
I do hope you're not being
too hard on him.
538
00:40:14,441 --> 00:40:16,456
What if it was your son
who went to school in a dress?
539
00:40:16,457 --> 00:40:20,480
Oh, I don't think Darvesh would go
to school in a dress.
540
00:40:20,481 --> 00:40:22,464
He'd probably wear a salwar kameez.
541
00:40:22,465 --> 00:40:24,452
Yeah, all right, a salwar kameez!
542
00:40:24,453 --> 00:40:27,440
Well, you know, I'd...
543
00:40:27,441 --> 00:40:29,396
Well, I'd...
544
00:40:29,397 --> 00:40:31,484
See! You wouldn't like it either.
545
00:40:31,485 --> 00:40:33,448
Peter, please, listen!
546
00:40:33,449 --> 00:40:35,472
No, you listen to me for once!
547
00:40:35,473 --> 00:40:38,480
All right, these are my boys
and I'll bring them up my way.
548
00:40:38,481 --> 00:40:41,420
And I don't need your stupid
scatter cushions
549
00:40:41,421 --> 00:40:43,444
and I certainly don't need
your advice.
550
00:40:43,445 --> 00:40:45,477
But you love your son
whatever he does.
551
00:40:48,429 --> 00:40:49,437
Don't you?
552
00:41:09,425 --> 00:41:12,473
The Under-16s School Cup
Final will kick off in 15 minutes.
553
00:41:12,473 --> 00:41:14,429
15 minutes to kick off.
554
00:41:15,445 --> 00:41:18,489
If they're under 16 then
I'm Angelina blooming Jolie.
555
00:41:31,425 --> 00:41:33,456
Mr Hawthorn, I need to talk to you
about Dennis.
556
00:41:33,457 --> 00:41:35,480
Lisa James, I am not interested
in your pleading.
557
00:41:35,481 --> 00:41:39,473
But, sir... One more word
and I will expel you too.
558
00:41:42,485 --> 00:41:46,448
So, here we are. Cup Final day.
559
00:41:46,449 --> 00:41:48,468
Yes!
560
00:41:48,469 --> 00:41:52,481
All right. I want you all to
remember what got you here.
561
00:41:55,397 --> 00:41:57,408
Luck
562
00:41:57,409 --> 00:41:59,488
and a lad in a frock
who got kicked out.
563
00:41:59,489 --> 00:42:05,432
Now, the other lot, they've won
the Cup the last three years
564
00:42:05,433 --> 00:42:08,404
and I'm going to be honest
565
00:42:08,405 --> 00:42:09,445
- they play dirty.
566
00:42:11,449 --> 00:42:15,461
They'll hack you down,
they'll elbow you in the face.
567
00:42:17,421 --> 00:42:21,444
I'm just glad it's you
and not me out there.
568
00:42:21,445 --> 00:42:23,452
But remember one thing
569
00:42:23,453 --> 00:42:27,408
- win or lose, you made it
to a Cup Final,
570
00:42:27,409 --> 00:42:30,404
which looks great on my CV.
571
00:42:30,405 --> 00:42:31,448
Now get out there.
572
00:42:31,449 --> 00:42:34,396
'With their main weapons knocked
out of commission,
573
00:42:34,397 --> 00:42:37,416
'the platoon now faced a far
superior enemy force.
574
00:42:37,417 --> 00:42:39,453
'The odds seemed insurmountable.'
575
00:42:53,437 --> 00:42:55,404
Hiya, gang!
576
00:42:55,405 --> 00:42:57,424
Got some bad news for you.
577
00:42:57,425 --> 00:43:00,396
The referee has sprained his ankle.
578
00:43:00,397 --> 00:43:02,448
Now, the stand-in referee's
cat's died
579
00:43:02,449 --> 00:43:04,432
and he's very upset. Sad face.
580
00:43:04,433 --> 00:43:09,416
But the good news is you've got me!
Yay! Happy face!
581
00:43:09,417 --> 00:43:12,436
Now, I don't know if you know me.
I actually teach drama.
582
00:43:12,437 --> 00:43:15,428
To be honest with you, I don't
know a huge amount about football,
583
00:43:15,429 --> 00:43:19,488
but I've seen a couple of games
on TV and how hard can it be?
584
00:43:19,489 --> 00:43:23,440
Right. Heads or tails?
585
00:43:23,441 --> 00:43:25,425
Heads.
586
00:43:25,425 --> 00:43:27,468
Oh, heads it is!
587
00:43:27,469 --> 00:43:30,488
Elm Forest to serve!
588
00:43:30,489 --> 00:43:33,416
Oh, exciting!
589
00:43:33,417 --> 00:43:34,433
Come on!
590
00:43:59,433 --> 00:44:01,400
We've got no chance without Dennis.
591
00:44:01,401 --> 00:44:03,401
Shut up. We don't need him.
592
00:44:05,429 --> 00:44:08,464
'With no protection offered by
the inexperienced commander,
593
00:44:08,465 --> 00:44:12,440
'the platoon was quickly crushed by
the superior firepower
594
00:44:12,441 --> 00:44:14,429
'of a German panzer division.'
595
00:44:23,417 --> 00:44:25,420
Red card!
596
00:44:25,421 --> 00:44:28,412
Now, that wasn't nice, was it?
597
00:44:28,413 --> 00:44:29,468
Say sorry.
598
00:44:29,469 --> 00:44:30,472
Sorry.
599
00:44:30,473 --> 00:44:35,392
Good boy. Now, deep breath.
600
00:44:35,393 --> 00:44:36,469
Let out the anger.
601
00:44:39,397 --> 00:44:40,429
Oh.
602
00:45:03,441 --> 00:45:07,480
It's a massacre. You're the captain,
do something.
603
00:45:07,481 --> 00:45:08,485
You're right.
604
00:45:13,433 --> 00:45:15,476
You boys are bringing shame
on us all.
605
00:45:15,477 --> 00:45:18,396
We need Dennis.
He's our best player.
606
00:45:18,397 --> 00:45:21,420
I will not have that cross-dressing
miscreant representing my school.
607
00:45:21,421 --> 00:45:23,400
But we need him!
608
00:45:23,401 --> 00:45:26,433
Get back out there and play,
Gareth Small.
609
00:45:30,405 --> 00:45:34,401
'Without reinforcements,
defeat was imminent.'
610
00:45:41,401 --> 00:45:43,460
And that's the game.
Well done, gang.
611
00:45:43,461 --> 00:45:46,448
It's half-time!
612
00:45:46,449 --> 00:45:48,472
Sorry. My mistake. Interval!
613
00:45:48,473 --> 00:45:51,404
The score is four points to nil.
614
00:45:51,405 --> 00:45:52,488
'The troops were on the verge
of surrender,
615
00:45:52,489 --> 00:45:54,489
'but, at the last minute,
a message arrived.'
616
00:46:18,429 --> 00:46:20,425
Going to miss
the Bake Off at this rate.
617
00:46:48,461 --> 00:46:50,456
Oh!
618
00:46:50,457 --> 00:46:52,449
Darvesh, you look gorgeous!
619
00:47:03,425 --> 00:47:06,429
Dennis! Come on, Dennis!
620
00:47:11,401 --> 00:47:13,393
Go get them, girls.
621
00:47:14,409 --> 00:47:16,429
Small! Get over here!
622
00:47:20,489 --> 00:47:23,405
What on earth do you think
you're doing, boy?
623
00:47:23,406 --> 00:47:25,449
Sir, you expelled Dennis
for wearing a dress,
624
00:47:25,449 --> 00:47:27,405
but you can't expel us all.
625
00:47:46,465 --> 00:47:48,457
Yeah
626
00:48:00,473 --> 00:48:02,441
Are they wearing dresses?
627
00:48:09,421 --> 00:48:10,445
Look after these.
628
00:48:55,453 --> 00:48:58,449
Peter! Peter!
629
00:48:58,449 --> 00:49:02,469
Oh! Jaspreet. Oh, Peter!
630
00:49:05,465 --> 00:49:07,452
I have been thinking about
what you said.
631
00:49:07,453 --> 00:49:09,480
You have to come with me.
632
00:49:09,481 --> 00:49:13,489
What? Now? Yes. Now!
Something wonderful's happened.
633
00:49:13,489 --> 00:49:15,417
Come on, John!
634
00:49:24,425 --> 00:49:25,481
Oh, here we go again.
635
00:49:27,445 --> 00:49:31,436
Peter, just look at
your beautiful son.
636
00:49:31,437 --> 00:49:33,397
Look at what he can do.
637
00:49:41,481 --> 00:49:42,489
Go on!
638
00:49:53,313 --> 00:49:54,349
4-4.
639
00:49:54,352 --> 00:49:55,388
Oh, the drama!
640
00:50:11,316 --> 00:50:13,344
Come on, Dennis. Score one for me!
641
00:50:15,352 --> 00:50:17,364
Penalty! Penalty.
642
00:50:23,296 --> 00:50:27,352
Come on, Dennis. Come
on, you can do it. Come on, Dennis.
643
00:50:29,388 --> 00:50:32,388
Hey. Dad, you came!
644
00:50:36,384 --> 00:50:39,364
Go get 'em, son.
645
00:50:42,356 --> 00:50:44,343
Good luck, Gareth.
646
00:50:44,344 --> 00:50:47,320
It's yours, mate, if you're up to it.
647
00:51:39,300 --> 00:51:40,460
Oh, my word, it's Elm Forest!
648
00:51:54,316 --> 00:51:56,391
Did we win?
649
00:51:56,392 --> 00:51:58,375
We won?!
650
00:51:58,376 --> 00:52:02,359
Yes! Yes! I knew it!
651
00:52:02,360 --> 00:52:05,320
I knew you could do it! Yeah!
652
00:52:09,388 --> 00:52:11,376
Somebody should sign that lad.
653
00:52:19,356 --> 00:52:21,332
This is my son.
654
00:52:23,300 --> 00:52:25,308
This is my boy.
655
00:52:26,344 --> 00:52:29,323
That's my brother, that is.
656
00:52:29,324 --> 00:52:31,308
And I love him...
657
00:52:33,364 --> 00:52:35,312
..more than I can ever say.
658
00:52:38,316 --> 00:52:41,295
How did you get to be so good, son?
659
00:52:41,296 --> 00:52:43,300
How did you get so ruddy good?
660
00:52:46,316 --> 00:52:47,368
How beautiful.
661
00:52:49,348 --> 00:52:53,319
Not you, boy.
You're not an Elm Forest pupil.
662
00:52:53,320 --> 00:52:54,339
But I thought...
663
00:52:54,340 --> 00:52:58,335
Well, you thought wrong.
Now get off the pitch this instant.
664
00:52:58,336 --> 00:53:02,332
Hey, you wouldn't have that cup
if it wasn't for my Dennis.
665
00:53:04,316 --> 00:53:08,376
Your son came to school
wearing a dress.
666
00:53:10,376 --> 00:53:12,340
He is an appalling specimen.
667
00:53:22,324 --> 00:53:24,296
I couldn't be prouder of him.
668
00:53:25,328 --> 00:53:26,380
We all are.
669
00:53:28,332 --> 00:53:30,388
Come on, love, let's go home.
670
00:53:54,340 --> 00:53:56,316
Have you found a new school yet?
671
00:53:56,316 --> 00:54:00,299
Not yet. I'm going to miss you.
672
00:54:00,300 --> 00:54:01,380
I'm going to miss you too.
673
00:54:03,364 --> 00:54:08,300
Come on, the new Vogue's out today.
I'll buy you one as a present.
674
00:54:11,300 --> 00:54:13,375
Aha, my favourite customers!
675
00:54:13,376 --> 00:54:17,303
A very merry Christmas to you both.
676
00:54:17,304 --> 00:54:19,351
Merry Christmas, Raj.
677
00:54:19,352 --> 00:54:24,311
Dennis, I am so sorry to
hear about your expulsion.
678
00:54:24,312 --> 00:54:28,299
Thanks. What is so wrong with
wearing a dress, huh?
679
00:54:28,300 --> 00:54:30,359
I often like to dress
entirely in red Lycra
680
00:54:30,360 --> 00:54:32,348
and pretend I am on Strictly!
681
00:54:36,360 --> 00:54:39,319
It's no biggie!
682
00:54:39,320 --> 00:54:42,347
Now, if only there was a way to
reason with your headmaster.
683
00:54:42,348 --> 00:54:47,323
I've tried everything.
Hmm. You could talk to his sister.
684
00:54:47,324 --> 00:54:49,355
His sister? Yes.
685
00:54:49,356 --> 00:54:54,299
She comes here first thing every
Sunday morning to buy her newspaper.
686
00:54:54,300 --> 00:54:56,375
You could ask her to speak to him.
687
00:54:56,376 --> 00:54:59,307
I guess it's worth a try.
688
00:54:59,308 --> 00:55:04,311
Now, would you like to buy
some of my special ice cream soup?
689
00:55:04,312 --> 00:55:06,335
What's ice cream soup?
690
00:55:06,336 --> 00:55:10,315
Something I invented while waiting
for the freezer repair man to come.
691
00:55:10,316 --> 00:55:13,312
It also has oven chips
and fish fingers in it.
692
00:55:30,336 --> 00:55:33,348
This is silly. Who needs to
go to the shops this early?
693
00:55:40,372 --> 00:55:41,376
Think that's her?
694
00:55:43,296 --> 00:55:45,387
She could be his sister.
She's very tall.
695
00:55:45,388 --> 00:55:49,312
And she's got enormous feet.
696
00:55:51,380 --> 00:55:53,348
You don't think?
697
00:55:54,380 --> 00:55:56,364
Mr Hawthorn!
698
00:55:58,364 --> 00:55:59,387
Do you mean my brother?
699
00:55:59,388 --> 00:56:04,332
Erm, he's at home dining on toast
and eggs this fine morning.
700
00:56:05,336 --> 00:56:07,327
It is you!
701
00:56:07,328 --> 00:56:09,383
Children, my name is
Harriet Hawthorn!
702
00:56:09,384 --> 00:56:12,320
Pleased to make your acquaintance.
We know it's you.
703
00:56:15,316 --> 00:56:18,336
Oh, all right. I'm Mr Hawthorn.
What of it?
704
00:56:18,336 --> 00:56:20,300
You're in... You're in a dress.
705
00:56:21,336 --> 00:56:24,360
How dare you?!
This is a blouse and skirt ensemble.
706
00:56:24,360 --> 00:56:26,359
All right, a blouse and skirt!
707
00:56:26,360 --> 00:56:30,315
Listen, being a headmaster is
an extremely stressful job.
708
00:56:30,316 --> 00:56:34,383
If I want to relax in my time off
wearing clothes I find... comfortable,
709
00:56:34,384 --> 00:56:36,339
well, that's my business.
710
00:56:36,340 --> 00:56:38,376
I was comfortable in a dress
until you expelled me.
711
00:56:38,376 --> 00:56:41,367
Yes, but you were breaking a school
rule. It's completely different.
712
00:56:41,368 --> 00:56:46,363
Oh, yeah, I bet all the kids at
school will see it the same way,
713
00:56:46,364 --> 00:56:47,368
when we tell them.
714
00:56:49,380 --> 00:56:52,327
Are you trying to blackmail me? No.
715
00:56:52,328 --> 00:56:55,372
Er, yes. Sorry, yes.
716
00:56:57,300 --> 00:56:58,356
What do you want?
717
00:57:11,364 --> 00:57:14,352
Dennis Simms.
What do you think you're doing here?
718
00:57:15,372 --> 00:57:20,339
Look at this. It's a monstrosity.
719
00:57:20,340 --> 00:57:24,323
It's still school uniform.
I just gave it a little re-edit.
720
00:57:24,324 --> 00:57:27,327
In all my years,
I've never seen anything quite...
721
00:57:27,328 --> 00:57:31,356
So very creative. Please.
722
00:57:39,384 --> 00:57:41,320
What?
723
00:57:46,316 --> 00:57:49,311
That's a very pretty frock you're
wearing today, Miss Price.
724
00:57:49,312 --> 00:57:53,316
Oh, thank you.
725
00:57:55,352 --> 00:57:59,352
It's, er, just from the shop
on the high street.
726
00:58:02,340 --> 00:58:07,347
Do they stock it for the...
727
00:58:07,348 --> 00:58:08,368
larger lady?
728
00:58:17,300 --> 00:58:20,340
You're back? Yeah.
What about Hawthorn?
729
00:58:20,340 --> 00:58:23,360
He, erm, came round to my way of
thinking.
730
00:58:25,300 --> 00:58:26,371
I'll see you later.
731
00:58:26,372 --> 00:58:29,304
Oh, right, good luck.
732
00:58:30,348 --> 00:58:34,319
Miss?
Oh. Oh, you're back.
733
00:58:34,320 --> 00:58:36,347
I'm sorry I said you had a bad
French accent.
734
00:58:36,348 --> 00:58:39,307
You've actually got the best
French accent out there,
735
00:58:39,308 --> 00:58:41,307
and that includes all
the ones in France.
736
00:58:41,308 --> 00:58:45,303
Oh, do you really think so?
Merci beaucoup, Dennis.
737
00:58:45,304 --> 00:58:48,307
I must say, you pulled off that
dress rather well.
738
00:58:48,308 --> 00:58:50,363
Tres a la mode. Thanks, Miss.
739
00:58:50,364 --> 00:58:54,323
I've, er, I've written
a play for the spring term
740
00:58:54,324 --> 00:58:57,319
and there's a perfect
part for you in it.
741
00:58:57,320 --> 00:58:58,335
It's called Joan of Arc.
742
00:58:58,336 --> 00:59:00,372
Can you guess who I want you to
play?
743
00:59:00,373 --> 00:59:04,316
Joan? Correctement! Yes!
744
00:59:04,316 --> 00:59:06,343
You see, she was a girl that
wore boys' clothes.
745
00:59:06,344 --> 00:59:10,307
So you would be a boy
dressed as a girl dressed as a boy.
746
00:59:10,308 --> 00:59:13,379
That would really make people
think, wouldn't it? I suppose.
747
00:59:13,380 --> 00:59:16,308
Tres bien.
It's all in French, by the way.
748
00:59:29,340 --> 00:59:30,352
Hey.
749
00:59:33,336 --> 00:59:35,324
This is yours.
750
00:59:38,340 --> 00:59:39,372
I'm sorry.
751
00:59:41,348 --> 00:59:43,304
I miss her too.
752
00:59:49,296 --> 00:59:52,335
John, you're not going to
eat all that, yeah? Why not?
753
00:59:52,336 --> 00:59:55,339
Well, because we've got guests
coming for our little
754
00:59:55,340 --> 01:00:00,376
Christmas party. Who? Just some
friends and, er, a lady friend.
755
01:00:06,356 --> 01:00:08,332
Happy Christmas!
756
01:00:09,348 --> 01:00:10,468
Happy Christmas to you, too.
757
01:00:14,372 --> 01:00:16,348
Aren't you going to ask us in, then?
758
01:00:16,349 --> 01:00:19,368
Oh, of course, come in, come in,
come on. Through there.
759
01:00:19,368 --> 01:00:22,299
All right, Darvesh. All right?
760
01:00:22,300 --> 01:00:25,367
Peter! You bad, bad boy!
761
01:00:25,368 --> 01:00:26,372
Eh?
762
01:00:28,360 --> 01:00:31,300
Ooooh! Come on!
763
01:00:34,364 --> 01:00:37,324
Wow! Perfect, Peter.
Yeah, don't start that.
764
01:00:37,325 --> 01:00:40,360
Peter, OK, I'm starving.
Got any mince pies?
765
01:00:40,360 --> 01:00:42,348
Put that down!
766
01:00:54,328 --> 01:00:56,008
I'm Dennis.
767
01:00:56,061 --> 01:00:59,120
I live in an ordinary house,
in an ordinary street
768
01:00:59,121 --> 01:01:01,109
in an ordinary town.
769
01:01:03,065 --> 01:01:07,109
I feel different.
But, then, doesn't everyone?
770
01:01:09,547 --> 01:01:11,582
Merry Christmas!
771
01:01:39,958 --> 01:02:11,040
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