Original subtitles

Downloaded from YTS.MX

Official YIFY movies site: YTS.MX

[Mutters]

[Both chuckle softly]

Man: You OK?

Yeah. I'm ready.

[Loud clank in distance]

Woman: OK.

[Man exhales sharply]

Man: I have to pee.

Woman: You have to pee? Go for it.

Oh, yeah. There's no one here.

OK. Fuck. Except that guy.

[Woman chuckles]

Man: I'll just go with it.

[Woman chuckles]

Woman: I don't think he even noticed we're here.

OK.

[Man groans]

[Chuckles]

Man: OK, fuck. OK, This is actually happening.

Yeah.

Maybe I shouldn't have the strap around my wrist

so that my wrist doesn't fall off when--

OK. But when are-- Fuck.

Man: So we go straight, straight like a candle.

Yeah, I'm crossing my legs so I don't split in two.

Argh. Fucking come on.

Don't look down.

I'm gonna be sick in a minute.

OK. Now shooting.

Are you doing this with me?

Yeah. We'll do this together.

This is gonna look good in the film.

[Yells]

I'm gonna count down... Oh, fuck.

from 10-- Oh, fuck.

until 1. Oh, fuck.

And on zero, you jump.

OK. Holding hands.

10, 9, 8... Fuck.

7, 6... Fuck, fuck.

5, 4, 3... [Groaning]

[Yells]

2, 1. Go! Aah! Aah!

[Loud thud]

[Muffled sound of pool waves]

["Okostrom" by Mia playing]

Mia: ♪ Ich bin heut morgen aufgewacht ♪

♪ Was hab ich seitdem alles falsch gemacht ♪

♪ Eine Stimme aus dem Radio ♪

♪ Sagt heute wär sie gar nicht froh ♪

♪ Das wir auf fremde kosten glücklich sind ♪

♪ Ich seh mich um und glaub das es stimmt ♪

♪ Klebt an meinem Kaffee Blut ♪

♪ Schmecke das halb nur halb so gut ♪

♪ Dann geh ich auf die Straße ♪

♪ Und das tut weh ♪

♪ Weil ich statt einem Lächeln ♪

♪ Nur leere Gesichter she ♪

♪ Ich bin gerad aufgewacht ♪

♪ Hab meine Augen aufgemacht ♪

♪ Für einen ersten ♪

♪ Schritt ist es nie zu spät ♪

♪ Ich habe angefangen ♪

♪ Ich hab jetzt Ökostrom ♪

♪ Ich will mein Leben ♪

♪ Weil es sonst ein andrer lebt... ♪

♪ Lebt... ♪

Man: That's Zoe. She's an actress.

I can do a handstand as well.

[Thud] Ooh, fuck.

And this is me--Ollie.

I make films.

We got engaged one year ago

and have been in an open relationship for three months,

which means we are mostly committed

but allowed to cheat on each other.

Zoe is the love of my life,

but I always felt like I didn't make the most of my 20s,

that I was a sexual underachiever.

So with the wedding as the finishing line,

being open seems like the perfect way

to get that out of my system.

I am part German, though,

so I did insist on some rules.

Zoe: You want me to read it out?

Ollie: Do you mind if you read them out?

OK, let me get it.

This is the "Monogamous Manifesto,"

the rules that we have set up

to safeguard our love.

What if your man becomes grubby, lazy...

What do you mean, "becomes"?

[Laughter]

Zoe: Rule number one--

our primary goal is to create a fun, happy,

healthy sexually exciting relationship

with each other.

Satisfying our libidos and egos

always comes second to the health

and happiness of our relationship.

Do you love me?

How much?

[Chuckling]

That much.

The second rule of the manifesto,

which states that there is to be

plenty of warning before sleeping with someone else

and that only samesies-- same-sex encounters--

are permitted.

But I just fucked a guy, so we're way past that.

Yeah, yeah. I'm growing a lot

because we have to talk a lot about stuff--

Talk 'cause we're doing this.

But also, you know,

before something happens and afterwards.

Zoe, voice-over: Rule number 3--

honesty is paramount,

and we talk about every encounter.

Do you need to talk, boyfriend-husband?

Do you want to talk about it?

I've got so much detail.

Ollie: No, no, that's good. I'm fine.

I've got so much to tell you about, his oblong--

OK, that's fine. That's fine. I'm fine. Ugh.

Ollie, voice-over: Zoe and I are making this film together.

And, yes, as if all this sleeping around

isn't self-indulgent enough,

here we are making what is essentially a selfie film.

[Laughter]

Using mainly our phones,

the camera is only ever an arm's length away.

This is natural, isn't it?

So I've put your phone in the corner there.

You want me to put my phone where?

I've just put it on a tripod.

Just leave it there.

Yeah, that's good. Yup.

Ollie, voice-over: Same for the microphones.

Like here...

I'm in charge of it...

and here...

and here.

Don't. Is it right on the back of the pants or...?

I mean...

Ollie: OK. Do I need to show off

all the gear I got, do you think?

Are people gonna care?

Zoe: They don't care about your gear.

You know what they do care about, though, babe?

You know what they are gonna like?

The carrot?

No, not the carrot.

And you fellating it.

[Chuckling] No.

No, they're gonna care about

what's in the other package.

This gear?

Uh-uh-uh.

Ollie, voice-over: Using us as the main subjects,

the idea is to highlight an alternative to monogamy.

That you can have your cake and eat it, too.

I love cake.

[Zoe laughing]

Zoe: No, no. Come on.

OK. Can you please tell us, Ollie,

what is that that you have there?

And please pull it up into shot.

Further into shot. Higher, Higher, higher, higher,

high--yeah. Good. Now we got it.

What is it, Ollie?

It's a pumping device.

For?

Um, for you, really.

You bought--well, what are you gonna pump for me?

OK. This is how it works. Give me a carrot.

[Laughs] Give you a carrot?

OK.

And...

Is--

[Imitates sound of air whooshing]

Hang on.

It's suction. You put water in

and then...

like, you push the water out...

Yeah.

and it creates suction on the carrot.

The carrot, which is really, obviously--

And then you've got a bigger carrot.

OK, that's enough.

No, no, but I want to know, babe.

Yes.

You feel you need a bigger penis?

Well, it wouldn't hurt.

[Laughs]

I don't know if I want this in the documentary.

I know. I know.

Ollie: You warm enough?

Yeah.

[Ollie laughing]

Ollie, voice-over: We are a team.

We make things together.

The outcome is usually some short, wanky

visual montage thingy

that we will one day force our kids to watch.

What if I laid down?

Ollie, voice-over: I fell in love with Zoe's brain

three years ago.

These silly little projects remind me

of why I want to marry her.

Zoe: Real sexy.

Am I meant to look emo or something?

Zoe: Make noises!

[Growling]

Run! Make the noise.

[Laughing]

I think this might be sewage.

[Laughter]

Ollie, voice-over: With every project,

we knit ourselves closer and tighter.

Now you can see everything.

[Laughing] Not on the nipple.

No, don't! Not on the nipple.

[Grunting]

[Laughing]

Hyah! Ha ha!

This will be good for us

and for your eyebrows.

And the film will be good, too, yes.

You will be like Frida Kahlo

sans monobrow.

[Groaning]

OK, got it. Sit still now.

Ugh!

Ollie, voice-over: Our wedding is less than 12 months away

and the perfect ending for our film.

Ollie: Well, I'll walk you through it.

We were thinking if the altar is here...

[Zoe laughing]

Zoe: I wish I could ride up the aisle on a horse.

David: Well, we could arrange that, I'm sure.

Zoe: We could probably actually do that.

It'd be a short ride.

Zoe: I'll come in from here...

the dress draping... Angela: Yup.

jump off.

It'd be pretty exciting.

David: It is exciting. Yeah.

You could go right up to the altar.

[Computer beeping]

Oh, ha ha.

Hello.

Hello.

The German spy.

Yes. How are you?

[Indistinct]

That's good. Fine, fine.

How are you? [Speaking German]

Shirin: And this is Maina. Hi, Maina.

Hi, Maina. Meeting.

Hello, Maina.

So it's going to be a New Zealand wedding,

but I was thinking if I wear

that traditional Indian outfit--what was that called?

Shirin: Yeah, the turban, kind of a turban,

and the long kurta. Yeah.

The one that I got for Liam's wedding.

Shirin: Yeah, but still it might--have you tried it

if it fits you still? Ha ha.

No. No, I haven't.

Ha ha. So probably I'll have to get you a new set.

The bride has to wear red

because nothing can outdo the bride,

and she needs to be the best on that day.

Oh. Is it red, not white?

She has to wear red?

Red, red is the traditional sari color for marriage, red.

And, uh...

With the mid--

Of course, a red point, the red dot,

which is a sign of marriage.

Oh, yeah. You get it already made now.

It's no big deal.

I don't have to draw a circle.

You know, she just has to stick it. It's a red dot.

But--but--but I want you to draw a circle.

But imagine everyone looking at the dot instead of

the face because the circle's not turned out round.

No way. I'm not gonna draw it.

But you can draw a circle.

I can't.

[Laughing]

It's just a circle.

You can just dip your finger in paint and go.

You got to come to India and marry.

Then I've got a person who'll put the henna,

a person who'll measure you.

Would you prefer if we came to India to get married?

It would be--uh, let's say, it's easier, because--

For you.

I'm really so thankful to Ganesha and Shiva

and to all the gods I've prayed that you

finally found the girl you've been looking for.

[Laughs]

[Dance music playing]

[Indistinct conversations]

Zoe: That's a real cool-- drag dress--drag top.

Hi. Yes, we're making a film

about our open relationship.

How's it going?

It's going really good, so if you want to, you know, like...

Ollie: All right. Zoe: whatever.

"All right, all right. All right."

Here. Take the camera back.

Are you OK with this?

Ollie: Is it OK? Are you OK?

Yes. Like...

Ollie: OK. Thank you.

Ollie, voice-over: When people ask us

why we're in an open relationship,

we cycle through explanations:

You can be more versions of yourself

with different partners.

We want to make the most of our bodies

while they're stretchy.

God, you're a weirdo...

Ollie, voice-over: Love is never secure

no matter how much we pretend it is.

There is always a third waiting for their chance.

So we embrace the third.

But nothing sticks

until we mention that we are long distance,

and then people get it.

[Music on soundtrack]

Hey. Can you talk? Can you narrate?

I mean, can you talk about where you're off to, Zoe?

Why are you leaving me?

OK. Well, we're at Dunedin airport.

And I'm going to Auckland airport

without Ollie,

but he promises he's coming soon.

I'm going because... [Sighs]

you can't be an actor in Dunedin, turns out.

[Laughing]

Ollie: Surprise, surprise. so I'm going out there.

Yeah.

[Indistinct P.A. announcements]

So I'm going up there,

but I'm going to miss you.

I'm coming.

[Laughing]

What are you doing, you idiot?

So the camera can pick it up.

So this--why, why?

It's like, those little pecky stuff,

the camera's not gonna register.

Oh, so we have to do this?

I like it.

[Exaggerated moaning]

Or maybe not.

[Laughing]

Give me a cuddle.

OK. I love you.

I love you.

I'm gonna miss you.

[Indistinct P.A. announcements]

Hello.

I got a new job in town editing,

and I'm biking to work.

It's about 25 minutes.

Gonna strap this GoPro into my bike,

and I'm gonna bike up hills and lose weight

and save money and not get run over

because I've got my fluoro on.

Ha the Unclear: ♪ Big city ♪

♪ Big city ♪

♪ Big city, big... ♪

♪ We live in it ♪

Ollie, voice-over: I don't have any family in New Zealand

apart from Zoe.

Ha the Unclear: ♪ A man wears headphones in the back seat ♪

♪ He seems pretty out of it, the bus is lurching... ♪

Ollie, voice-over: And with her now at

the other end of the country, I can spend all my time at work.

I love my work. I work a lot.

These days, you can't even call someone a sheila

or a chook or a bloody galah.

Ollie, voice-over: Zoe loves her craft, too.

She's good at it.

She gets to play the many versions

of her extroverted self.

I'll just that's enough for this.

Man: That's really good.

Ollie: Girlfriend-wife.

Girlfriend-wife. Boyfriend-husband.

Yes.

You look happy.

I'm happy.

Zoe: Yeah? I miss you already.

Ha the Unclear: ♪ Big city ♪

♪ Big city ♪

♪ Big city... ♪

Ollie: Have you adjusted your app settings?

Yeah, of course.

All right. So how's that up there?

Is it better than down here?

Yeah, yeah. But there's way more--matches.

Ha the Unclear: ♪ Big city ♪

♪ Big city ♪

♪ Big city, big... ♪

Ollie: I got a new bike clock for my bike.

Oh, that's--ha ha!

That was the highlight since you've left, pretty much.

Ha the Unclear: ♪ Big city, big ♪

♪ We live in it ♪

♪ Everyone's anonymous now... ♪

I'll just--I'll keep looking on Grindr.

OK. Are you OK?

It's a bit awkward because, you know,

you're in a small town.

Yeah, I think I saw someone on there that I know.

Are you all right about it?

Yeah, yeah. No, it's fine.

OK. Good. Yes.

I'm glad.

Ha the Unclear ♪ La la la la la la... ♪

Ollie, voice-over: Being in an open relationship

has allowed me to embrace being bisexual.

It was a lingering curiosity throughout my 20s

but never explored.

Ha the Unclear: ♪ Big city ♪

♪ Big city ♪

♪ Big city, big... ♪

[Whispers indistinctly]

OK, it's Monday night, 2 minutes before 9:00.

[Vehicle horn honks]

My date's at 9:00.

It's with a guy called Thomas.

I'm just gonna get a wide shot of Albar.

Ollie, voice-over: Now I embrace it,

and it comes in very handy

because it's not easy finding a woman interested

in a casual encounter with a guy who's engaged

in a city of just over 100,000 people.

Man: Yeah.

Hi. Hi.

Thomas. Ollie.

Do you mind if I film?

Um, yeah. Sorry.

I'll turn this off.

OK.

[Indistinct conversations]

Sorry. I--

Got it? Yeah.

All right. All set.

It is quarter past 9:00.

And I finished my date with Thomas.

[Bird squawking]

Um, it was a bit awkward.

I shouldn't have filmed.

Zoe: Cool. Right...

[Zoe moaning]

[Kiss]

I'll be right back.

OK. [Clears throat]

Hi.

What do you do?

I'm trying to relax.

Sorry.

If you'd stop talking, it'd be great.

OK.

Zoe: What are you boys chatting about?

Bread.

Man: Oh, bits and bobs.

Zoe: Bits and bobs? Hi.

Zoe: Hey, babe. OK, we're gonna just--

OK... I think that's enough

for you for one evening.

OK. Thank you.

You can finish yourself off, OK, babe?

Yeah. [Computer chimes]

Yeah.

Where are we going, Rose?

We're going to Gigi, adult department store,

where we have adult toys, lingerie,

pills and stimulants.

[Digital bell rings]

Rose: Ooh! Shit.

What the...sh-- let's...

[Doorbell chimes] Someone else came.

Can we just talk about this for a second?

Rose: Hmm?

I mean, does your fanny sparkle?

Yes, it does, actually.

[Laughter]

I saw this guy last night.

He'd shaved all down there.

Ew, OK.

"Surprise. My dick's small."

[Laughs]

Zoe: Was it non-consensual?

Ollie: No.

Ollie, voice-over: Here we are 10 months until the wedding.

Zoe: Why am I filming you washing your hands?

I can't wash my hands because there's no soap.

No soap at a sex party?

Ollie, voice-over: It's the classic formula

of boy meets girl,

girl gets engaged to boy,

boy takes girl to a sex party

at a central Auckland private residence

that features a grope tent, multiple sex swings,

a bondage play area, plenty of lube, butt plugs and strap-ons.

Earlier that evening, and because this is all new to us...

Zoe: ♪ I'm getting ready for a sex party ♪

♪ I'm getting ready for a sex party ♪

That's the chorus.

I haven't thought of any of the rest of it.

The voice of an angel.

Ollie, voice-over: We made sure to be extra meticulous

in our preparations.

All right. I was gonna wear this on my left arm

just to cover my tattoos so people

won't think I'm in a gang.

No one's gonna think you're in a gang, babe.

They might.

[Laughing]

OK, so this we haven't tried yet,

but we've bought.

Yeah.

Are we gonna use it for the first time tonight?

Yeah, baby.

[Cracks]

Does it even hurt?

No, a little bit.

Go gently first.

Oh, that's fine. OK.

Ow. Fuck. That went right in the vag.

Sorry.

OK, retake it.

So you want me to hold it?

Yeah, you're the dominant. Pull it a bit.

But keep the tension. Do it exactly like a dog.

Ohh, it's so weird. Why is it weird?

'Cause I'm hurting you.

You're not hurting me.

Just pull it harder, like that.

Ollie: You film me while I hold it.

Zoe: OK. So you're my master.

OK. What do I call you? Slave? Lady?

My main girl...

little lady...

Little lady.

You are Elizabeth the slave lady.

[Zoe laughs]

Just go, "Roar!"

OK.

[Softly] Roar.

Oh, you're pathetic.

Shut up, Elizabeth.

[Laughter]

Ollie, voice-over: Zoe and I started this journey

armed with little more than a handful of rules

and raging libidos.

But it's time to face facts:

We are now officially full-blown swingers.

Make it "Rah-rah-roar!" Why?

Just 'cause it helps.

Helps you?

Yeah.

[Yells]

Is that how people do bondage?

Babe?

Yeah.

I can't wait to do this with you.

I'm really excited.

Come on. That's enough. Let's just go.

And turn your phone off 'cause you're not a pervert.

[Sound of woman moaning]

Zoe: You were pretty much.

Ollie: OK.

Oh. Are we kissing?

Yeah. We're gonna do a kiss.

OK.

OK. I'll start off on, like,

are we doing portrait or--

No.

this way? No.

No? Never.

Never. You did not ask me that.

You do landscape, babe...

[Laughs] please.

OK. OK.

Your leg was up, though, akimbo on the whatsit.

My leg was adumbo.

Akimbo.

Akimbo.

Husband-boyfriend.

Ooh. Hello.

[Zoe chuckling]

Hey, husband-- Hey.

[Zoe laughs]

What would you like to talk about?

No, you can't--

Oh, just say "Start."

You shit. I'll just shut up.

Husband-boyfriend,

may I please take a second of your time?

Yeah, I'm just reading a book.

I know, but I've got something really important

I want to discuss.

What would you like to discuss?

Um, I've been thinking...

Mm-hmm.

that we should maybe try an open relationship.

Is that how you're gonna say it?

What, I guess it was a bit expositional,

wasn't it, like--

We used to do it together.

Is this you being in the scene,

or is this Ollie telling--

Yeah. No.

OK. So in real life, no, I said it.

Did you?

Yeah, I definitely said it.

Zoe: Hey, Nini.

[Whistles] Ready?

Ollie: Good girl.

Good girl!

Ollie, voice-over: Here's what I love about Zoe:

One--she talks in her sleep, frequently.

The most innocent, cute little stories. Abstract, like poetry.

Sometimes she farts in her sleep, too.

How long have you been filming me?

Two--her confidence.

She knows who she is, and she likes herself. That's hard.

Zoe: What's it, like it's a doggie's tail?

Three--

This is how a chef does it,

from a great height.

she's a full adult,

soaking oats overnight, flossing her teeth daily.

[Ollie laughing]

Four--her energy.

She tells the sun off for rising too late.

And I get to ride in her wake.

Oh! That was supposed to be a "Whoo!,"

but I tripped at the same time.

And five-- she's smarter than me.

She has a bigger vocabulary because she reads more.

I used to argue that I'm visual instead,

that we are equals.

1, 2, 3.

But then, you're only as smart as the things you do,

the things you say.

I am so excited to marry you, Zoe.

I love you so much.

I admire your intelligence

and that you're really confident in yourself

and that you've chosen me to be your husband.

It makes me really proud

and strive to be the best self I can be.

Ollie, voice-over: Soon: Husband and wife.

No one else.

Zoe: This is Tom. Ollie, meet Tom.

Tom, meet Ollie.

[Softly] Hi, Ollie.

[Zoe chuckling]

[Phone line connecting]

Hi. Hi.

Ollie: Good to see you.

Good to see you, too. You're a bit blurry.

Oh.

So I went on a date with Tom.

Who's Tom again?

Tom, the guy who's directing my play.

Right.

Well, it wasn't a date,

but we just went-- well, it--

now it's a date, but it wasn't supposed

to be a date at the time.

We just went for a beer after rehearsals,

and we carried on drinking,

and we just ended up at this club,

and we were dancing,

and we were just talking.

And I--I could not stop laughing that

my face is so sore from laughing.

[Laughs]

Oh, sorry. Yeah. That's great.

No, it feels weird to tell, obviously, you...

[indistinct] that--I had just such an amazing time

with this guy and I'm really into him.

Yup.

His last name's Tom Roy,

so you can Face talk him if you want.

Tom Roy. It's like two first names.

Yeah. He's an actor. But that is his real name.

He didn't change it. He's an actor and director.

He's got this really deep, sexy voice.

Zoe: Did that get all weird?

There's a photo of him with a gun.

How old is he?

He's like our age, but he's an actor.

In a gorilla costume. Is he goofy?

He's not goofy, but he's got

a really good sense of humor.

Like, it's different from your sense of humor,

but he's--he's really witty and sharp and--

Yeah. Cool. Yeah.

But, like, underplayed, quite deadpan.

Uh-huh.

He makes me laugh anyway.

Is he straight?

Yeah, real straight, babe

Wouldn't be keen on--I'm sorry.

So this is gonna be, like fuck buddies or...?

Fucking, the chicken's going off again.

I'm just gonna jump out and--

[Exhales]

No, I think it's gonna be more than that.

Yeah? [Rooster crowing in distance]

Can you hear that chicken?

Yeah. Why are you doing about the chickens?

We're having an actual meaningful conversation.

Can you be present?

Sorry. Yes. OK.

Tom: What do you want me to do?

Zoe: Just walk into the shot and be normal.

That's good.

[Both laugh]

Very good.

[Engine starts]

Zoe: Very good.

Bye, babe.

[Laughing]

[Indistinct conversation]

Tom: Whoo.

[Laughing]

[Tom Laughing]

Ollie, voice-over: Being polyamorous means

choosing to reject monotony.

That means we have to negotiate jealousy instead,

which is just an emotion you can train yourself to overcome.

Right?

Right?

[Indistinct whispering]

♪ La la la la la ♪

[Burps]

Whoa.

[Chuckling]

Ollie: Hi. Woman: Hi.

Will you tell me what happened on Sunday?

On Sunday.

So I was meeting up with this guy.

His name was Ollie.

I met up with him with my dog.

And he was very squishy. Ha ha.

I felt like maybe it was just heartburn.

I mean, you know, and I was nervous, too.

Ollie: Do you know what this plant is?

A swan plant? Swan.

Swan. Yeah.

For the monarchs.

And then I suggested that we went home to your house.

And then you said that, um,

you'd have to talk about it

before we sort of took that next step,

and I totally understood that.

Yeah. There's no way I want to do anything

to compromise your relationship.

Hmm.

Ollie: Um...

do you want to say anything to Zoe?

Hi. Um, I can't wait to meet you,

and I don't want you to feel threatened

or anything towards me

because I am just so looking forward

to being in your life

and Ollie's life.

And if you're not, that's cool, too.

I can go away and do something else with my life.

[Laughs]

But the ball is in your court and Ollie's court, OK?

Wow.

[Cows mooing]

Zoe: How was your day?

Great. Went on a date with Siobhan,

and we walked her dog for a wee in the park.

So I got Siobhan's message.

She seems cool.

Yeah, she's a good egg.

Zoe: Do you like her?

Ollie: I like her.

Zoe: Oka--Ok.

Ollie: No, Zoe, it's not--it's not like,

not like love, really.

It's just nice to feel desired

by someone new.

You OK?

Zoe: Yeah.

Yeah, yup.

I guess I'm the one--

that's been used to having

all the hook-ups. But, yup.

Welcome to my world.

Yeah, welcome to your world.

This is what it feels like.

I'm fine with it.

Just don't go see her all the time.

Like, don't spend every second with her.

All right.

When are you going out with her again?

Um, well, I was going to talk to you about it...

Yes.

because we've got great communicating skills,

and I'm making sure that you are fine with it.

I am fine. I am fine.

I have the feelings, but I...

am--I am happy

for you as well.

I am happy for you, babe.

Thank you. I love you.

I love you, too.

We're still getting married, eh?

Of course we are.

OK, fine. I love you. I love you. I love you.

I love you. I love you.

I love you. I love you...

to the moon and back.

OK, bye. Mwah.

Yeah. You hang up. No, you hang up.

Don't do that. Don't--

Just don't--shut up.

I'm hanging up. I don't even want to--bye.

OK.

♪ Over the sea ♪

♪ Under the stars ♪

♪ I found myself ♪

♪ In a roadside bar ♪

♪ Fistful of fire ♪

♪ Just looking for a fight ♪

♪ But all I found was... ♪

Circle. Yup, circle. Yup. Go.

[Panting]

OK, good. Oh, that--that--yeah.

Bowie? Hey.

What are you doing? What are you doing?

What are you doing?

Hello.

Hello. How are you?

All right.

How was work?

Work was fine.

[Kiss]

I'm sweaty.

I just got a text from Zoe.

Yeah.

She's going to a grinding party tonight.

What's that? I don't know.

They just grind.

Anyway, so I'm just gonna say, "Yup.

Do what you want,"

and, "Have as much sex as you want.

I don't really care."

So we'll just have to have as much fun

as they do at a grinding party

on open marriage night.

It's a competition.

[Laughs]

Well, I'm making a vegan cauliflower bake,

so I really doubt that we're gonna be having

that much fun.

Well, that sounds pretty good.

OK, that's it. Bye.

We're having a really good time.

I pretty much just moved in with Siobhan

for a week.

I thought it was longer.

Oh, two months?

I thought you said, "At least 6 months."

[Chuckles weakly]

Yes.

I haven't had food poisoning in--

Woman: 1-1-2.

Oh, that's us. Hold on.

1-1-2!

1-1-2.

[Woman speaking indistinctly]

Thank you. Yeah...

Zoe: I can't wait for Ollie to meet you.

Why?

So he'll see you're a good guy.

[Knock on door]

Hiya.

Ha-ah. I'm filming.

I know.

Is that all right? Yeah.

Ollie: I now have a girlfriend...

as well as a fiancee.

She's very pretty.

Why do you have a girlfriend

when you've already got a fiancee?

Why not?

It means that I can be more versions of myself.

One version of you is enough--Ha ha!

[Laughter]

let alone 3 or 4!

You got a fiancee. You don't need a girlfriend.

Wilbur, it's not like--

Yeah? Ha ha!

It's not like we're this vessel

with a limited amount of love that we can give

to people.

Like, if you have children,

you can love more than--

if you had two children, you would love them both.

You wouldn't just love one of them.

Yeah? You wouldn't fuck your children, hopefully.

[Ollie laughing] I mean...

I'm talking about love, you're talking about sex.

They're just--they're intertwined.

I disagree, Wilbur.

We shall meet again in a year,

and I'll stand above you saying,

"Look at what I've got.

"Look at what we have built,

a nonconformist, different type of relationship."

"All the people who didn't believe in me

"will be sitting down like the fat losers

"like they are.

"And I will have my 3 girlfriends

who mean nothing to me apart from my fiancee."

That's not true.

I very much like Siobhan a lot.

Yeah, cool. Yeah.

She should have a chance to like someone

like you like Zoe, though.

So how's it going with Tom?

Awesome.

I can tell.

[Laughing]

Look at your face. Don't push it--

It's like glowing.

What about Ollie?

The director thing is, like...

it's making Ollie a bit threatened.

Plus, he's got a motorbike, so...

But it's fine. I think he's fine.

Are you fine? Ha ha! Like, because--

But he's threatened, though.

Well, yeah, yeah. But I--

He's threatened in multiple ways.

We always knew that was gonna be part of it.

Like, jealousy's just this thing, you know.

We talked about it.

But it's also like, I told him

Tom isn't husband material. He's not--

he's, you know, he just got out of

this really long-term,

like, totally fucked-up relationship.

That doesn't mean that he

can't have a relationship in the future.

It just means that now he's unavailable.

Yeah, but with me,

he doesn't want kids or anything, so...

and I want like--I want, like, a little army of,

like, that--you know, they stay really small.

And me and Ollie are just, you know,

and there's no way I'm

never gonna stop finding Ollie attractive.

He's--I love him. He's my husband-boyfriend.

I know you hate me saying that. Yeah.

OK. I guess that makes sense.

[Chuckles]

OK, I'm coming.

Oh, I think it's a bit big, a bit maternity bride.

Rose: Are you a maternity bride?

[Laughs]

How do you not fall over in this?

Rose: I guess you do have to lift it up.

[Laughter]

What are

the tissues for?

Rose: They're for people crying.

Why aren't you crying? I came out.

You should be crying. I'm so beautiful.

Zoe, voice-over: Tom said that he wants to love me

as much as he can before big changes happen

'cause who knows what will...?

Rose: That is good.

Do you hold your dress when you walk down?

No. You just--

You only hold your flowers

and your dad.

Zoe, voice-over: But he also said that he'll

still be stopping by when I'm pregnant,

so I'll still be sexy and beautiful

and he'll want to put his hands all around me.

[Chuckles]

And I told Ollie that, and he said

he didn't want Tom's dong touching his baby.

Ollie: You know Saint Bathans

in Central Otago?

That's a place where I go--

Shirin: Yeah.

I was there, and I was walking around a lake.

There's a beautiful lake,

and then I suddenly slipped and fell, and--

When?

Oh, just a couple of weeks ago.

And then?

And then I looked around if someone saw me fall.

And then I became curious as to why

my first response was to check

if someone else saw me fall

and where that comes from.

And I think it's looking for

some sort of connection with someone

to validate my experience

to share the experience with, you know?

Just so that I'm not alone.

Hmm, but there are no crocodiles in that lake

you swam on, right?

Zoe: No, get away. Aah.

[Laughing]

I'm too slow. Now, get off. Get off.

[Laughs and screams]

[Laughs]

I give up. I give up.

Zoe: Whoa!

This is lovely, darling. Ollie: Yeah.

Gorgeous.

Ollie: All right. Just give it to me.

Ooh, whoo.

Ollie: Just open your mouth a bit more.

Oh, I'm on video mode.

Oh, for God's sake!

[Ollie chuckling]

I'll send it to Tom.

Ollie: No reception here.

Yeah, well, I'll send it when we get home.

Ah, yeah, yeah.

[Laughing]

OK, OK, OK, OK.

Singers: ♪ Ooh ooh ooh... ♪

[Inaudible conversation]

Ollie: I started making a documentary.

Yeah.

And what started as a documentary about

going into an open relationship--

do you know what that means?

Living together.

[Laughing]

No. Uh, open relationship means

that you're together but you're allowed

to have sex with other people.

Shirin: Oh. Oh. [Laughing]

And then we became polyamorous.

Do you know what that is?

No.

It means having multiple partners.

So it's in the film where you actually did it.

No, we actually did it.

So we started making a documentary

about going into an open relationship,

and then she found a boyfriend.

Yeah.

And I found a girlfriend.

Yeah.

And so you've never had an experience

with polyamory, obviously, so--

No. Like, what you said

I've got to check on the Internet what that means.

[Laughing]

Just don't do an image search.

And it's gonna be kind of happy ending

with our wedding?

Yeah. Heh.

[Laughs]

Once we get to the wedding,

then we stop this,

and we'll just be monogamous,

just her and I, you know?

So it's just to have a bit of fun

before we get married.

So you're gonna show all that.

It's going to be a semi-porno thing?

[Laughter]

Zoe: OK. This will be fun.

Off we go.

Ollie, voice-over: It's only 4 months

until Zoe and I are getting married.

Let's make it warm.

Zoe: Yeah, that'll be nicer.

Today is the day she finally meets Siobhan.

We're at her place, supposedly dog sitting.

Hey, Bowie.

Want an enema?

[Zoe laughing] "OK, Ollie."

Zoe: Would you like an enema, Bowie?

Would you like an enema?

Would you like an enema?

Good thing we're doing it in the bathtub in case--

Yeah.

Ollie, voice-over: In theory, sharing a home enema kit

sounded like fun.

Siobhan: Ooh!

[Laughing]

Ollie: You all right?

Yeah. Are you ready? Yup.

OK.

Ollie, voice-over: In theory, it seemed like

the perfect way to prepare ourselves

for any eventuality.

Oh, fuck. OK.

In theory.

[Grunting]

Bowie, no.

So I'm putting oil on there.

Yup. Aah.

It's fucking cold.

OK. Well, I'm just on your face.

I'm not looking at your-- we're not looking at your--

Oh, yeah, it's happening. Uhh.

Zoe: OK, so it's going from the hot water bottle to...

Zoe: You want to hold my hand?

Oh, it's all lubed up, isn't it?

Is that the one you used to put it in your ass?

[Laughs]

It's empty. It's empty.

I'm gonna stay on the other side of your asshole

in case it starts.

[Laughter]

Poor Bowie's over there waiting for--

about to get it in the face.

OK, I have to get up.

Where are we going, Bowie? Where is he going?

Run for your life.

Ollie: Oh. Ohh. Oh.

Zoe: OK, if you jump around a bit,

don't step in the bath, though, OK?

OK.

Do a little dance. Do a little wiggle.

[Inhaling and exhaling]

Well done.

[Bowie whimpering]

Oh, no! Ugh!

[Inhaling and exhaling]

Zoe: Tell why we're doing this.

OK. So, ahem. We're about to have our first threesome

with Siobhan, and there might be butt play.

[Whimpers]

[Growls]

Zoe: Oh, my God. OK, OK, OK, go!

I got to go. Get away. Get away, Bowie.

[Zoe chuckles]

[Ollie groaning, Zoe chuckling]

[Bowie whimpering]

Are you OK?

You know, there are certain events in your life

where you appreciate that you're healthy

and you appreciate your knees when you go down hills.

Yup.

But today is a day where I appreciate

that I've got a really healthy,

well-functioning anus.

It lets me keep some dignity.

[Laughing]

[Music playing on soundtrack]

[Conversation not audible]

[Tapping, water running]

You--you feel OK?

Zoe: What do you mean?

About last night?

Yes. Ha ha.

I feel great about last night.

You didn't mind seeing me and Siobhan?

No. It was good to watch my man be virile

with another woman.

[Muffled] Wow. Viral.

Whirr? What are you...?

Vi--viral? Virile.

I don't--what's that mean?

It means like, potent-like,

like a lion.

Raw-rawr.

That's--that's exactly right.

Like, "Rawr-rawr."

That should be my middle name.

Jan Ollie Viral Lucks?

Have you and Siobhan said the L word?

Um, say again?

Have you and Siobhan said the L word?

No. I don't think--

I'm not sure we feel that way.

I mean, I see her more as a friend.

Tom told me he loved me.

When?

A couple days, there or so, ago.

What did you say?

I said, um, "Me, too."

He said he'd suck cock for me,

which is, like, pretty much

the ultimate declaration of love.

[Chuckles]

I suck cock for you all the time.

[Chuckles softly]

[Birds squawking]

You OK with the bag, babe?

Oh, yeah. Well, one of us has got to film the other one,

and it's usually you, because you're becoming increasingly

the director. Ollie: No, no, no. I film.

I don't mind.

The whole film will just be my face.

You're much prettier than me.

I just kissed her hand off-camera.

You're doing it on camera now?

Are you sure that's on?

[Laughing]

Come and help. Grab the other side.

Want to do cheers?

[Crunches]

To us.

OK. Can you film me?

You want me to film you? Sure.

I feel--

Oh, goodness. Where are you going with this, darling?

Um, I feel like I'm giving up...

[Clears throat] Um...

I guess I'm just sort of understanding now that we,

you know, we're going over a bridge

and suddenly, there's your life with me,

but there's also a separate life where you have--

Right. secrets.

Well, they're not secrets. They're just--

No, I know.

But it does feel like I'm giving up

part of you and, you know, like,

there's only a little bit less of Zoe left.

I don't think when we have kids,

Tom's gonna fit into our unit, so...

OK, serious now.

Try and be with me and not with that.

OK.

If it wasn't for this film,

would you ask me to leave Tom?

Would you be able to stop seeing him

if I asked you to stop seeing him?

It doesn't matter.

When we have kids,

he's not gonna fit into our family unit, so...

OK. We'll just have kids now.

What? Yes, now. Ja!

[Laughing]

Ollie: On the ground next to you.

Oh, my God. Cuties.

Little birdie.

[Chirping]

What's he gonna do with that? He's gonna be--

Oh, he can fly with it. Ha ha!

He's a muscle man. Ha ha!

[Zoe chuckles]

Zoe: There he is.

Oh, you sex god.

Who? Me?

Ha ha. Yeah, you. Who? Me?

[Chuckling] Yeah.

You're so handsome.

[Zoe laughing]

Ha the Unclear: ♪ I scour the years... ♪

Zoe: Ha ha! But you don't have to deal with all this.

No. All this.

All of the domestic neuroses.

All the domestic neuroses.

Oliver can deal with the domestic neuroses.

You just get to have a...

You just take that shit back down to him.

good time. Ha ha!

Ha the Unclear: ♪ Well, I wish the scientists were wrong ♪

♪ When they say... ♪

Do you think that looks good?

What do you care?

You haven't been filming as much recently.

Enough.

[Song ends]

Now, this must be where the bulb goes.

Ohh. Mansplain.

[Laughter]

Tom: Can you explain something for me?

As long as it's not about the lamp.

[Laughs]

Yeah, it's not about the lamp.

No, monogamy.

OK. Sorry.

If all these different versions of yourself exist

for different people, which one of those is for me?

You know which bit's for you.

[Soft laughter]

You're so cute on the spot.

Don't. You know which bit's for you.

I told you. I've never done this before.

I haven't felt like this before.

You know.

Thank you.

Does that make sense? Mm-hmm.

Did I just mansplain that well enough?

Mm-hmm.

Don't shake it. [Chuckles]

Zoe: It's working for you, isn't it?

You don't want commitment and a long-term relationship,

do you?

Not after your ex.

Let's make this lamp.

You do it. Do you want gin or vodka?

Tom: Vodka.

OK. I believe in you, babe.

I believe in you.

You believe in me?

All I've got to do is make gin.

I don't need a lot of, like, belief.

I believe--I believe in your gin.

[Laughter]

[Laughter]

Zoe: That's too tight.

[Laughter continues]

Oh, don't. You'll fall over.

Let me go up backwards.

You'll fall over. No, you're too pissed.

No, you're too pissed to do this.

[Laughter]

OK. Ha ha! You can't carry--

Tom: I don't think this is how you go upstairs.

You're never going to make it.

You're never going to make it.

Zoe: OK, come on.

Don't. Be normal. [Laughs]

OK. You look good.

Zoe: Hi!

Hey.

Zoe: Hi!

Hello. Hey, baby.

Mwah.

How are you? Good, good, good.

Hey. Zoe: So...

How's it going, man? Nice to meet you.

Yeah. Good to meet you, too.

Zoe: No. Have a hug. Hug it out.

Hug it out.

Hey, dude.

Zoe: A bit weird.

Ollie: Good to meet you.

Yeah. Welcome. Ollie: Yeah. Thanks.

OK. Shall we go in?

Zoe: Yeah.

Bleah.

Zoe: Aw. You guys look cute together.

[Men chuckle] Zoe: Is that weird?

You're weird.

I know I'm weird.

[Zoe laughs]

Right.

Hmm.

[Zoe laughs]

Yeah. Should we...?

Well, now, guys... have coffee or...?

Zoe: Let's make some tea.

Yes, yes. OK, put your bag down, babe.

Tea, tea. I'll put the kettle on.

Make some tea. Put the kettle on.

[Whispers] Are you OK?

Yes.

OK.

Zoe: You're both directors.

Did you feel threatened by that?

I think our genres are, like,

you're more fiction, eh?

Yeah.

And theater. And theater.

I don't do any theater.

And you make documentaries, right?

Mm-hmm.

So, I mean, is that really directing?

Quick. Film my feet!

Ollie: Filmmaking is so much energy and effort, right?

Tom: Mm.

Ollie: I guess the documentaries I make have me

in it because then I care enough to work my ass off.

You know?

Zoe: Because you care so much about yourself, babe.

Tom: You think that by having yourself in them,

it makes you care more...

Yeah, it's the only thing that makes him care.

Fuck. That sounds really bad. OK.

rather than the subjects.

Can I rephrase my answer?

[Laughter]

I wouldn't, Ollie. I wouldn't.

Zoe, voice-over: I don't think it's anything

to be ashamed of.

It's understanding myself better

and sharing those lessons and then others--people can--

Zoe: Exactly. Tom: It makes sense.

You just worded it really badly.

[Zoe laughing]

Zoe: We want to show the world

through our own experiences

what vulnerability and love and intimacy can be like,

but you're always behind the camera,

so you're kind of taking away that vulnerability

because you are...

Hiding behind it.

Because you're hiding behind the camera.

Behind my shield.

Yeah.

That's true.

And in a way, run away from what's really happening

by putting a camera in front of it.

[Rain]

[Rock music blaring]

Zoe: You like it?

Ollie: It's very cinematic.

[Laughing] Cinematic?

Zoe: Are we doing a cheers?

Cheers. Cheers.

[Indistinct].

Ollie: Yum. Thanks for that, Tom.

[Laughs]

Zoe: You're actually gonna--oh, my God.

Do you want to feel my ring?

There you go. Are you having a good time?

Ollie: Yes.

Are you actually having a good time?

[Zoe laughing]

Let's just take this dance.

[Dance music playing]

Zoe: Ollie, you got to dance.

[Tom chuckling]

Zoe: Come and dance. Come on.

He hates dancing.

Zoe: Ollie!

You can dance, Ollie.

I'll stop, then you ask me to dance.

That's great.

[Music playing on soundtrack]

Zoe: What time is it?

Tom: How's midnight? [Zoe laughs]

Ollie: It's 13 past midnight.

It's 13 and 47 seconds past 12:00.

[Zoe chuckling]

Ollie: All right. Zoe: Time to go.

Zoe: Ohh. Thanks. I can never find the holes.

Tom: I'm really good at finding them.

[Zoe laughing]

Ollie: Can you hold the camera?

Zoe: You want me to watch you put on your jacket?

No.

Let me. Let me. Come here. Come here.

No, no. That's all right. Come on.

Come on, Ollie.

Zoe: Come on. No, no. Do it. Go with it, Ollie.

Ollie: Thanks, babe.

Yeah. Zoe: Aw.

Who you calling babe, me or him?

Both. Both! Ha ha!

Bye-o.

OK. Oof.

All right.

So this is Tom's room.

Um, last night we came home, and I made out with Tom,

which Zoe loved.

It was great.

And then I sucked him off, he sucked me off.

And we started to fuck.

And I asked him to pull out again,

and I peeled off--I peeled the condom off his cock.

It was like the last little bit of control I had

over their relationship.

And--because I asked them to use a condom

whenever they had sex, and they have.

And I just wanted to be the one that peels it off

and allow them to feel each other properly

for the first time.

And then this morning I woke up,

and they were already having sex next to me,

and now are having a shower together.

I don't like having showers with someone.

I don't want to be in a shower with someone else.

I think it's inefficient.

You just--you don't get enough water,

and half the time, you get cold.

It's not really the place to do small talk.

I'm there to wash myself and get clean.

In, out.

Um, yeah, I prefer to have a shower by myself,

so I'll just wait till they're done.

And then I'll have a shower, and then we'll get dressed,

and we'll have breakfast.

Yeah. It was a great night.

[Laughs]

Whoo-hoo.

Zoe: OK.

Ollie: You all right?

OK, so if you sit over there, I was thinking.

This is for a wide shot.

Tom: Down there?

Ollie: Yeah, just down there.

[Cell phone ringing]

[Computer chimes] Ollie: Hi.

Zoe: Hi.

How are you?

I'm OK.

How are you?

Terrible.

[Sighs]

What are you doing tonight?

Nothing.

What are you doing tomorrow?

What's about to happen?

Zoe: I think we should break up.

What?

[Zoe sighs]

Ollie: We were perfect.

I was perfect for you.

You were always pretending?

Babe, I wasn't pretending.

I feel in love with you, and I loved you,

and I've been loving you for the last 3 1/2 years.

And that stopped?

[Zoe whispers]

Yeah, I think it stopped.

[Zoe sighs]

When?

[Instrumental music playing on soundtrack]

When I fell in love with someone else.

Oh, fuck.

[Exhales]

Ohh, fuck.

[Call ends as computer chimes]

[Exhales]

Even though we promised ourselves

to be the most important thing to each other...

the heart wants what it wants, and...

there's just nothing I could do.

[Sobbing softly]

Because right now I feel like I've been abandoned.

I was just...

it was almost a slam in my face last night,

and I had no reason--no way to talk about it.

And I don't even know what's happening.

[Exhales]

I made the mistake of going on Facebook...

and checking her relationship status.

And it's not listed as engaged to me anymore.

And the last three weeks, I lost about, like, 8 kg,

not cause I wanted to,

but 'cause my appetite's gone.

[Ollie sighs]

Ollie: I said good-bye to Siobhan last night.

I don't know in what capacity I'll see her again.

Um, yeah.

I just started your commitment to this.

I think we... Ollie: Need to?

need to connect a whole lot more.

Because this is all just skimming the surface.

You think it's worth it

to put up with this planning

and me wanting more of you?

You can understand where I'm coming from...

right?

Yes.

Ollie, voice-over: I lost Zoe, I lost Siobhan.

I couldn't lose the film as well.

Ollie: Hi. Woman: Hello.

I'm Ollie. Hi.

Um, right. Shall we start with the board?

Hi. My name is Georgia Pringle,

and I'm with Gail Cowan Management.

I am Alice May Connolly.

These are my feet.

[Ollie chuckles]

My name is Romy Hooper.

Erin Howell, no agent. I'm Sheena.

Um, this is my piece of paper.

I'm with Auckland Actors.

Ollie: Yeah. And--let's do a run-through,

and then I might zoom in on certain sections.

Woman: OK.

Ollie: We'll see how it goes.

What's about to happen?

I think we should break up.

I think--Ollie, yeah.

I think we should call off the wedding.

Ollie: What?

When you love someone,

you think you'll love them forever,

but you really need to, like, maintain

the thing.

Ollie: You're always pretending.

Babe, I wasn't pretending.

I fell in love with you...

And I loved you, and I've loved you...

for 3 1/2 years.

Ollie: And that stopped?

I think it stopped. Ollie: When?

When I fell in love with someone else.

When I fell in love with someone else.

When I fell in love with someone else.

When I fell in love with someone else.

Oh, fuck. That's sad, Ollie.

You all right? Yeah.

Are you...?

No, genuinely fine.

That was good.

It started off quite aggressive and defensive,

which is fine later,

but it was already there at the start.

Ah, so was it? OK.

And after "I'm perfect for you,"

give it a solid pause.

So then straight into another one?

Yup.

Ollie, voice-over: The story of this film started

almost 5 years ago.

My fiancee and I decided to make a documentary about us,

exploring alternatives to monogamy.

Our documentary became my film

when she left me for the new guy--Tom.

3 years later, with permission from my ex,

I cast an actress, Natalie, to finish the film with.

5 part, 3A, take one.

100, take 3.

Man: Mark 2 for the GoPro

and the handheld.

Ollie, voice-over: Natalie also became the co-writer.

Together we watched the original documentary footage,

the parts we could use and what we would recreate.

Let's look back to what we had

before we started this madness.

We were perfect.

Ollie's ex on video: It was perfect for you.

Natalie: Oh, fuck.

[Laughs]

[Laughs]

Good night...

Zoe: It was good to watch my man be virile

with another woman.

Like, rawr.

Whirr? What are you?

Vi--viral? Virile.

Virile.

Yeah. Virile.

What's that mean?

With male potency.

Cool. That should be my middle name.

That should be my middle name.

[Laughter]

What are you doing, you idiot?

So the camera can pick it up.

Well, it's--it's more cinematic.

You're thinking more about how it looks

than about how it feels.

My leg was adumbo.

Akimbo.

Ollie: Akimbo.

It's kind of weird.

I feel like a creepy old man

that sort of recreates his old life.

Yeah. Cut. Fuck.

You got that. You got what you wanted.

Woman: Yeah, it's great.

It didn't feel authentic.

What didn't feel authentic?

That's not how it happened.

Natalie: It's great, Ollie.

Woman: You don't need another take, Ollie.

Ollie: You guys are just full of shit.

Ollie, voice-over: Siobhan is real.

My mother is real.

Bowie and Wilbur, real.

And this is the voice of my real ex.

Ollie's ex: Pretend like I just said something

that's kind of a bit shocking

and surprising.

No, don't act. Ohh, you're the worst.

[Laughs]

Ollie, voice-over: While she has moved on from the project,

she is happy for me to use some of our recordings.

[Ollie's ex humming on video]

Ollie on video: What if your man diminishes in his shine,

becomes grubby, stinky, lazy,

mooches over...

Ollie's ex: What do you mean, "becomes"?

[Ollie and ex laughing on video]

Ollie: Yeah, let's cut that out.

[Ex laughing]

[Sound of wind blowing]

[Needle buzzing]

Ollie: Pull my sleeve back.

Oh, for fuck's sake.

When did you get this?

As soon as she broke up with me.

It better not be a dick.

[Laughs]

Why?

It's to remind me of the lessons learned

in the last two weeks.

[Hesitantly] That's good.

[Laughter]

Yeah, I was thinking I'm gonna get a square

and a triangle on this one.

Ollie, voice-over: I got the tattoo to remember

my flaws and become better,

that I can't have my cake and eat it, too.

But in the years following,

emotions rewrote the story in my head.

I recast myself as the victim

over and over again.

But rewatching what actually happened,

turns out I forgot the worst version of me.

You are in competition with my career.

Ex: What do you mean?

Like, my career is as important to me

as you are.

Ex: Well, what if we don't have enough money

to have a wedding?

Then we postpone our wedding.

It's my fucking industry.

I can only have so much certainty.

She is a nymphomaniac. She needs it a lot.

Ow.

You are a complete asshole.

No wonder she left you.

[Loud thud, muffled sound of waves]

Ollie, voice-over: The truth is

I neglected her pain in all of this.

I wouldn't stop filming,

even as our relationship fell apart

because It made for a good story of me falling.

Natalie: OK, good.

Oh, that was good.

Natalie: OK, so the fall was quite good,

but then the deliberate sticking out of the leg

afterwards was very manufactured.

OK, the fall was good.

Now you need to work on your acting afterwards.

[Ollie grunts, chuckles]

[Yells]

Ollie, voice-over: If I'm honest,

I was never right for an open relationship

or polyamory.

Looking back, maybe her and I

just weren't as good a match as I remembered.

They say an optimist is

only ever two people away from a threesome.

That's all bullshit. A bunch of scheisse.

I think next time, I'll just have cake.