All language subtitles for Ghostbusters

I'm gonna turn over the next card.
I want you to concentrate.

I want you to tell me
what you think it is.

Square.

Good guess. But wrong.

Clear your head.

All right. Tell me what you think it is.

Is it a star?

It is a star. Very good. That's great.

Okay. All right.

Think hard. What is it?

Circle.

Close. But definitely wrong.

Okay.

- All right. Ready?
- Yeah.

All right.

What is it?

Come on.

Figure eight.

Incredible. That's 5 for 5.
You can't see these, can you?

- You're not cheating me, are you?
- No, I swear they're just coming to me.

Okay.

- Nervous?
- Yes. I don't like this.

You only have 75 more to go, okay?
What's this one?

It's a couple of wavy lines.

- Sorry. This isn't your lucky day.
- I know.

Wait...

I'm getting a little tired of this!

You volunteered, didn't you?
We're paying, aren't we?

Yeah, but I didn't know you were
gonna give me electric shocks!

What are you trying
to prove here, anyway?

I'm studying the effect of negative
reinforcement on ESP ability.

The effect? I'll tell you what
the effect is. It's pissing me off!

Well, then maybe my theory is correct!

- You can keep the 5 bucks. I've had it.
- I will, mister!

You may as well get used to that.

It's the kind of resentment that your
ability will provoke in some people.

Do you think I have it, Dr. Venkman?

You're no fluke, Jennifer.

This is it. This is definitely it!

Did those UV lenses come in
for the video camera?

And that blank tape, I need it,
the one you erased yesterday.

- Will you excuse me for a second?
- Sure.

I'm right in the middle
of something, Ray.

I need more time with this subject.

Could you come back in an hour,
hour and a half?

Peter, at 1:40 p.m...

...at the main branch of The New York
Public Library on Fifth Avenue...

...10 people witnessed a free-floating,
full-torso, vaporous apparition.

It blew books off shelves
from 20 feet away...

...and scared the socks
off some poor librarian.

I'm very excited. I'm very pleased.

I want you to get right down there,
check it out, and get back to me.

You're coming with us on this one.
Spengler went down there.

He took PKE valences,
went right off the top of the scale.

Buried the needle.
We're close on this one. I can feel it.

I can feel it. We're very, very close.

I have to go now, Jennifer, but I'd
like to work with you some more.

Perhaps you could come back
this evening at...?

Eight o'clock?

I was just going to say, "8:00?"
You are a legitimate phenomenon.

As a friend, I must say...

...you've finally gone around the bend
on this ghost business.

You guys have been meeting
every schizo in the five boroughs...

...who says he has a paranormal
experience. What have you seen?

You forget, I was there at an undersea,
unexplained mass sponge migration.

Oh, Ray, the sponges migrated
about a foot and a half.

- You're here.
- Yeah, what have you got?

This is big, this is very big.
There's definitely something here.

Egon, this reminds me of the time you
tried to drill a hole through your head.

- Remember that?
- That would've worked if...

I'm Roger Delacorte.
Are you the men from the university?

Yes. I'm Dr. Venkman.
Dr. Stantz. Egon.

Thank you for coming. I hope we
can clear this up quickly and quietly.

Let's not rush things. We don't
even know what you have yet.

I don't remember seeing any legs...

...but it definitely had arms,
because it reached out for me.

Arms? I can't wait
to get a look at this.

Alice, I'll ask you a couple
of standard questions, okay?

Have you or any member
of your family...

...ever been diagnosed schizophrenic,
mentally incompetent?

My uncle thought he was St. Jerome.

I'd call that a big yes.

Are you habitually using drugs,
stimulants, alcohol?

- No.
- No, no. Just asking.

Are you, Alice,
menstruating right now?

- What has that got to do with it?
- Back off, man. I'm a scientist.

Ray, it's moving. Come on.

Look!

- This is hot, Ray.
- Symmetrical book-stacking.

Just like the Philadelphia
mass turbulence of 1947.

You're right. No human being
would stack books like this.

Listen! Do you smell something?

Talk about telekinetic activity.
Look at this mess.

Raymond, look at this.

Ectoplasmic residue.

- Venkman, get a sample of this.
- It's the real thing.

Somebody blows their nose,
and you wanna keep it?

I'd like to analyze it.

- There's more over here.
- I'm getting stronger readings here.

This way.

Come on.

Egon, your mucus.

This happen to you before?

First time?

It's here.

A full torso apparition. And it's real.

So, what do we do?

Could you come over here
and talk to me for a second, please?

Could you just come here
for a second, please?

Right over here.
Come here, Francine. Come here.

- What do we do?
- I don't know. What do you think?

Stop that!

We've gotta make contact.
One of us should try to speak to it.

Good idea.

Hello.

I'm Peter.

Where are you from? Originally.

All right. Okay.
The usual stuff isn't working.

Okay, I have a plan.
I know exactly what to do.

Now, stay close.

Stay close.

I know. Do exactly as I say.

Get ready. Ready?

Get her!

- Did you see it? What was it?
- We'll get back to you.

Wait!

"Get her." That was your whole plan.
Get her.

- It was scientific.
- I just got overexcited.

But wasn't it incredible, Pete?
We actually touched the etheric plane.

You know what this could mean
to the school?

Yeah, it's gonna be bigger
than the microchip.

The experience wasn't wasted.

According to these readings,
we have an excellent chance...

...of catching and holding a ghost.

This is great. If the ionization rate is
constant for all ectoplasmic entities...

...we could really bust some heads.
In a spiritual sense, of course.

Spengs, you serious
about this catching a ghost?

I'm always serious.

Egon, I'm gonna take back some
of the things I've said about you.

You've earned it.

The possibilities are limitless.
Hey, Dean Yeager.

I trust you're moving us
to better quarters on campus.

No, you're being moved off campus.

The Board of Regents has decided
to terminate your grant.

You are to vacate
these premises immediately.

This is preposterous.
I demand an explanation.

Fine. This university
will no longer continue...

...any funding of any kind
for your group's activities.

But the kids love us.

Dr. Venkman, we believe the purpose
of science is to serve mankind.

You, however, seem to regard science
as some kind of dodge or hustle.

Your theories are the worst kind
of popular tripe.

Your methods are sloppy, and your
conclusions are highly questionable.

You are a poor scientist, Dr. Venkman.

I see.

And you have no place in this
department or in this university.

This is a major disgrace.
Forget MIT or Stanford now.

They wouldn't touch us
with a 10-meter cattle prod.

You're always so concerned
about your reputation.

Einstein did his best stuff
when he was a patent clerk.

You know how much
a patent clerk earns?

The university gave us money.
We didn't have to produce anything.

You've never been out of college.
You don't know what it's like.

I've worked in the private sector.
They expect results.

For whatever reasons, Ray...

...call it fate, call it luck,
call it karma...

...I believe that everything
happens for a reason.

I believe that we were destined
to get thrown out of this dump.

- For what purpose?
- To go into business for ourselves.

This ecto-containment system
Spengler and I have in mind...

...will require a load of capital.
Where will we get the money?

I don't know. I don't know.

You're never gonna regret this, Ray.

My parents left me that house.
I was born there.

You won't lose the house. Everybody
has three mortgages nowadays.

But at 19 percent?
You didn't even bargain with the guy.

Ray, for your information,
the interest rate alone...

...for the first five years
comes to 95,000 dollars.

Will you guys relax? We are
on the threshold of establishing...

...the indispensable defense science
of the next decade:

Professional paranormal
investigations and eliminations.

The franchise rights alone will make
us rich beyond our wildest dreams.

There's office space,
sleeping quarters and showers...

...and there's a full kitchen.

It just seems a little pricey for a unique
fixer-upper opportunity, that's all.

What do you think, Egon?

I think this building
should be condemned.

There's metal fatigue
in all the load-bearing members.

The wiring is substandard.
It's inadequate for our power needs.

And the neighborhood
is like a demilitarized zone.

Hey, does this pole still work?

Wow, this place is great.
When can we move in?

You gotta try this pole.
I'm gonna get my stuff.

Hey, we should stay here tonight,
sleep here. You know, to try it out.

- I think we'll take it.
- Good.

Hi.

- Dana, it's you.
- Hi. Yes, Louis, it's me.

- I thought it was the drugstore.
- Are you sick?

No, I'm fine. I feel great.

Just ordered some more vitamins
and stuff. I was just exercising.

I taped 20-Minute Workout
and played it at high speed...

...so it took 10 minutes.
Got a great workout.

Want to come in for a mineral water?

I'd really like to, Louis,
but I have a rehearsal. Excuse me.

No sweat.
I'll take a rain check on that.

I have plenty of low-sodium mineral
water and other nutritious foods.

- But you already know that.
- I know that.

That reminds me, I'm having
a big party for all my clients.

My fourth anniversary
as an accountant.

Even though you do
your own tax return...

...stop by, since you're
my neighbor.

Thank you, Louis.
I'll really try to stop by.

You shouldn't leave your TV
on so loud when you go out.

The creep down the hall
phoned the manager.

That's strange.
I didn't realize I left it on.

I climbed on the ledge
and tried to disconnect the cable...

...but I couldn't get in,
so I turned up my TV real loud too...

...so everyone would think both our
TVs had something wrong with them.

Okay, so I'll see you later, huh?
I'll give you a call.

I gotta have a shower.

Are you troubled by strange noises
in the middle of the night?

Do you experience feelings of dread
in your basement or attic?

Have you or any of your family ever
seen a spook, specter or ghost?

If the answer is yes, pick up your
phone and call the professionals.

Ghostbusters.

Our courteous staffis on call
24 hours a day...

...to serve
your supernatural-elimination needs.

We're ready to believe you.

Zuul.

You don't think it's too subtle?

You don't think people are gonna
drive down and not see the sign?

You can't park that here!

Everybody can relax, I found the car.

Needs some suspension work
and shocks...

...and brakes, brake pads, linings,
steering box, transmission, rear end.

- How much?
- Only 4800.

Maybe new rings, also mufflers,
a little wiring.

- Janine, any calls?
- No.

- Any messages?
- No.

- Any customers?
- No, Dr. Venkman.

It's a good job, isn't it?

Type something, will you?
We're paying for this stuff.

Don't stare at me.
You've got the bug eyes.

Janine?

Sorry about the "bug eyes" thing.
I'll be in my office.

You're very handy. I can tell.

- I bet you like to read a lot too.
- Print is dead.

Oh, that's very fàscinating to me.
I read a lot myself.

Some people think I'm too intellectual,
but it's a fabulous way to spend time.

I also play racquetball.
Do you have any hobbies?

I collect spores, molds and fungus.

Hello?

Excuse me. Is this...?
This is the Ghostbusters' office.

Yes, it is. Can I help you?

I don't have an appointment.
I'd like to talk to someone, please.

I'm Peter Venkman. May I help you?

Well, I don't know. What I have
to say may sound a little unusual.

That's all we get, day in, day out,
around this place.

- Come into my office, Miss...
- Barrett. Dana Barrett.

And this voice said, "Zuul," and then I
slammed the refrigerator door and left.

That was two days ago, and I haven't
been back to my apartment.

Generally, you don't see that
behavior in a major appliance.

What do you think it was?

Well, if I knew what it was,
I wouldn't be here.

Egon, what do you think?

She's telling the truth.
At least she thinks she is.

Well, of course I'm telling the truth.
Who would make up a story like that?

Some are people
who just want attention.

Others are nutballs
who come off the street.

You know what it could be? Past life
experience intruding on present time.

Could be a memory stored
in the collective unconscious.

I wouldn't rule out clairvoyance
or telepathic contact either.

I'm sorry, I don't believe
in any of those things.

Well, that's all right. I don't either.
But there are some things we do...

...standard procedures in a case
like this, which often bring us results.

I could check out the structural details
in the building.

Maybe the building has a history
of psychic turbulence.

Right. Good idea.

I could search "Zuul"
in the usual literature.

- Spates Catalog.
- Tobin's Spirit Guide.

I'll take Miss Barrett back
to her apartment and check her out.

I'll go check out
Miss Barrett's apartment. Okay?

Okay.

- Thank you.
- It's okay.

Please, let me.

If something's gonna happen here,
I want it to happen to me first.

That's the closet.

They hate this.

I like to torture them.

That's right, boys. It's Dr. Venkman!

It's a lot of space.

- Just you?
- Yes.

Good.

What is that thing you're doing?

It's technical.
It's one of our little toys.

I see.

That's the bedroom.
But nothing ever happened in there.

What a crime.

You know, you don't act
like a scientist.

- They're usually pretty stiff.
- You're more like a game-show host.

That's the kitchen, huh?

- Dana, are these the eggs?
- Yes.

I was over there, and these eggs
jumped out of their shells...

- ...and started to cook on the counter.
- That is weird.

That's when I started to hear that awful
noise coming from the refrigerator.

You've come all this way. Would you
like to check the refrigerator?

Better check the fridge. Good call.

Oh, my God.

Look at all the junk food.

- No. Goddamn it! This wasn't...
- You actually eat this stuff?

This wasn't here.
There was nothing here.

There was a space and a building
with flames coming out of it.

There were creatures writhing around,
and they were growling and snarling.

And there were flames,
and I heard a voice say, "Zuul."

It was right here.

I'm sorry, I'm not getting any reading.

Well, are you sure
you're using that thing correctly?

I think so. But I'm sure
there are no animals in there.

Well, that's great.

Either I have a monster in my kitchen,
or I'm completely crazy.

I don't think you're crazy.

Oh, good. That makes me
feel so much better.

Let me tell you something about me.

I come home from work to my place,
and all I have is my work.

There's nothing else in my life.

I meet you and say, "There's someone
with the same problem I have."

Yes, we both have
the same problem. You.

I'm gonna go for broke.

- I am madly in love with you.
- I don't believe this.

Will you please leave?

And then she threw me out of her life.
She thought I was a creep.

She thought I was a geek,
and she probably wasn't the first.

You are so odd.

- No.
- I've got it!

- No.
- I'll prove myself to you.

That's not necessary.

- Yeah, I'll solve your little problem.
- Okay.

And then you'Il say, "Pete Venkman's
a guy who can get things done.

- I wonder what makes him tick."
- I wonder.

"I wonder if he'd be interested
in knowing what makes me tick."

I'll bet you're gonna be thinking
about me after I'm gone.

I bet I am.

No kiss?

To our first customer.

To our first and only customer.

I'll need to draw some petty cash.

I should take her out to dinner.
We don't want to lose her.

This magnificent feast here
represents the last of the petty cash.

Hey, slow down. Chew your food.

Hello, Ghostbusters.

Yes, of course they're serious.

You do?

You have?

No kidding.

Well, just give me the address.

Yes, of course.
Oh, they'll be totally discreet.

Thank you.

We got one!

It's a call!

Come on!

Hey, anybody see a ghost?

- Thank you for coming so quickly.
- Jesus!

The guests are asking questions,
and I'm running out of excuses.

Has it happened before?

Most of the original staff
knows about the 12th floor.

- The disturbances, I mean.
- Yeah.

But it's been quiet for years
up until two weeks ago.

It was never, ever this bad, though.

- Did you ever report it to anyone?
- No. Heavens, no.

The owners don't like us
to even talk about it.

I hope we could take care
of this quietly.

- It's done.
- Tonight.

Yes, sir. Don't worry.

We handle this kind of thing
all the time.

What are you supposed to be,
some kind of a cosmonaut?

No, we're exterminators. Somebody
saw a cockroach up on 12th.

- That's gotta be some cockroach.
- Bite your head off, man.

- Going up?
- I'll take the next one.

It just occurred to me we haven't had
a successful test of this equipment.

- I blame myself.
- So do I.

- Well, no sense worrying about it now.
- Why worry?

Each of us is wearing an unlicensed
nuclear accelerator on his back.

Yep. Well, let's get ready.
Switch me on.

What the hell are you doing?

- Sorry.
- I'm sorry.

We thought you were someone else.

Successful test.

I guess so.

- I think we'd better split up.
- Good idea.

Yeah, we can do
more damage that way.

Venkman? Venkman!

Disgusting blob.

I'm gonna have to hold him myself.

Come in, Ray.

Venkman! I saw it! I saw it!

It's right here, Ray.

It's looking at me.

He's an ugly little spud, isn't he?

I think he can hear you, Ray.

Don't move. It won't hurt you.

Venkman!

Venkman! Pete!

Venkman, what happened?
Are you okay?

He slimed me.

That's great! Actual physical contact!

- Can you move?
- Ray. Ray! Come in, please!

I feel so funky.

Spengler! I'm with Venkman.

He got slimed!

That's great, Ray. Save some for me.

Get down here, right away!
It just went into a ballroom.

Okay, we'll be right there.

If you and your staff
could please wait out here...

...we'll take care of everything.

There it is. On the ceiling.

That's the one that got me.

All right, boys.

Ready?

Throw it!

I did that. I did that.

- That's my fault.
- It's okay. The table broke the fall.

There's something very important
I forgot to tell you.

- What?
- Don't cross the streams.

- Why?
- It would be bad.

I'm fuzzy on the whole good/bad thing.
What do you mean, "bad"?

Imagine all life as you know it stopping
instantaneously and every molecule...

...in your body exploding
at the speed of light.

Total protonic reversal.

Right, that's bad. Okay,
important safety tip. Thanks, Egon.

All right, Ray, take the left.
Egon, take the right.

Okay, Ray, just give me
one high and outside.

Ray!

Egon!

Okay, all right.
Hold it, hold it, hold it!

Nice shooting, Tex!

I assure you, there is no problem
with the room.

It'll be ready as soon as your guests
are here.

It took something out of him,
but he'Il move.

I need some room to put the trap
down. Give me some room.

You'll excuse me, please.

- Gotta get this in the clear.
- Wait, wait, wait!

I've always wanted to do this.

And...

- The flowers are still standing!
- Okay, on my go-signal.

Spengler, I want a confinement stream
from you, okay? Go!

Okay, hold him up there.
He's gonna move. Hold him up!

Go!

- It's working.
- Start bringing him down.

You got him. Don't cross the stream.

Maybe now you'Il never slime a guy
with a positron collider, huh?

Venkman, shorten your stream.
I don't want my face burned off.

I'm opening the trap now.
Don't look directly into the trap.

I looked at the trap, Ray.

Turn your streams off when I close
the trap. Get ready. I'm closing it.

Now!

It's in there.

Well, that wasn't such a chore,
now, was it?

Mr. Smith, quickly.
I want that door open now!

Donald, stand over there.

We came, we saw, we kicked its ass!

Did you see it? What is it?

We got it.

What is it?
Will there be any more of them?

What you had there
was what we refer to as a focused...

...non-terminal repeating phantasm,
or a class-five full-roaming vapor.

Real nasty one too.

And now...

...let's talk seriously.

For the entrapment, we're gonna have
to ask you for four big ones, $4000.

But we are having a special this week
on proton charging...

...and storage of the beast.

That's only gonna come to
1000 dollars, fortunately.

Five thousand dollars? I had no idea
it'd be so much. I won't pay it.

That's all right.
We can just put it back.

We certainly can, Dr. Venkman.

No! All right! Anything.

Thanks so much.

Thank you. Hope
we can help you again.

Coming through! One class-five
free-roaming vapor.

Morning, I'm Roger Grimsby.
Today, the entire Eastern seaboard...

...is alive with talk ofincidents
ofparanormal activity.

Alleged ghost-sightings
and supernatural occurrences...

...have been reported
across the entire tri-state area.

Everybody has heard ghost stories
around the campfire.

My grandma used to spin yarns
about a spectral locomotive...

...that would rocket past the farm
where she grew up.

But now, as if
some unforeseen authority...

Stand aside, please!

Hi, this is Larry King. The phone-in
topic, ghosts and ghostbusting.

The controversy builds,
more sightings are reported.

Some maintain that these...

...professional paranormal eliminators
in New York are the cause of it all.

I got it! I got it!

Pete! Ray!

Still making headlines
all across the country...

...the Ghostbusters are at it again,
this time at the dance club...

...The Rose. The boys in gray slugged
it out with a pesky poltergeist...

...then stayed to dance with the ladies
who witnessed the disturbance.

This is Casey Kasem.
Now on with the countdown.

Twenty-four hours a day,
seven days a week.

No job is too big. No fee is too big.

Is it just a mist,
or does it have arms and legs?

As they say in TV, I'm sure
there's one blg question...

...on everybody's mind and I imagine
you are the man to answer that.

How is Elvis,
and have you seen him lately?

Do you believe in UFOs,
astral projections...

...mental telepathy, ESP,
clairvoyance...

...spirit photography,
telekinetic movement...

...full-trance mediums, the Loch Ness
monster and the theory of Atlantis?

If there's a steady paycheck in it,
I'll believe anything you say.

I gotta get some sleep. I'm dying.

You don't look good.

- I don't?
- Well, you've looked better.

You didn't used to look like this.

Can you hold, please?

Here's the paper on the Brooklyn.
She paid with Visa.

Here's tonight's worksheet.

Oh, great. Two more free repeaters.

This is Winston Zeddmore.
He's here about the job.

Beautiful. You're hired.
Ray Stantz, Pete Venkman.

- Congratulations.
- Can you help me, please?

Welcome aboard.

I don't know where they get
these guest conductors.

It's not gonna do him much good
to scream at us in German.

Well, I don't think that the man
is competent to conduct...

...a major symphony orchestra.

- Could you wait here a minute?
- Sure.

Dr. Venkman. This is a surprise.

- That was a wonderful rehearsal.
- You heard that?

Yes. You're the best one in your row.

Oh, thank you.

You're good. Most people can't hear
me with the whole orchestra playing.

I don't have to take this abuse.

I got hundreds of people
dying to abuse me.

I know. You're a big celebrity now.

Do you have some information
for me on my case?

Who's the stiff?

The stiff happens to be one of
the finest musicians in the world.

Do you have information
for me, please?

Well, sure, but I prefer
to give it to you in private.

- Why don't you tell me now?
- Okay. I found the name Zuul for you.

The name Zuul refers to a demigod
worshiped around 6000 B.C. by the...

What's that word?

- "Hittites."
- Hittites...

...the Mesopotamians
and the Sumerians.

"Zuul was the minion of Gozer."

What's Gozer?

- Gozer was very big in Sumeria.
- Well, what's he doing in my icebox?

I'm working on that. If we could
get together Thursday night...

...I'm thinking 9-ish, you know,
we could exchange information.

I can't see you Thursday. I'm busy.

Miss Barrett, you think there is
something wrong up here that says:

"He enjoys taking his evenings off
and spending it with his clients."

No. I'm making a special exception
in your case...

...because...

...I respect you.

It's corny, but I respect you
as an artist.

As a dresser too. This is a magnificent
coordination you have going today.

- See you Thursday.
- I'll bring the Roylance Guide...

...and we'll eat and read.

- So who the hell is that?
- He's just a friend.

- A friend?
- An old friend.

Bye! Well, I'll see you Thursday!

I'm sorry I didn't get to meet you, sir.
I'm glad you're feeling much better.

You're still very pale, though.
A little sun.

- Well, what does he do?
- He's a scientist.

This is where we store all the vapors
and entities and slimers that we trap.

Very simple, really. A loaded trap
here. Open, unlock the system.

Insert the trap.

Release.

Close, lock the system.
Set your entry grid.

Neutronize your field.

And...

...when the light is green,
the trap is clean.

The ghost is incarcerated here
in our custom storage facility.

There's a man from the EPA here
to see you. He's waiting in your office.

- EPA? What's he want?
- I don't know.

All I do know is I've been working
two weeks without a break...

...and you promised me
you'd hire more help.

Janine, someone
with your qualifications...

...would have no trouble finding
a topflight job in either...

...the food service or
housekeeping industries.

- Are you gonna answer that?
- I've quit better jobs than this.

Ghostbusters! What do you want?

- Can I help you?
- I'm Walter Peck.

I represent the Environmental
Protection Agency, the third district.

Great. How's it going down there?

Are you Peter Venkman?

Yes, I'm...

...Dr. Venkman.

Exactly what are you a doctor of,
Mr. Venkman?

Well, I have Ph.D.'s in parapsychology
and psychology.

I see.

And now you catch ghosts.

Yeah. You could say that.

And how many ghosts have you
caught, Mr. Venkman?

- I'm not at liberty to say.
- And where do you put...

...these ghosts
once you catch them?

Into a storage facility.

And would this storage facility
be located on these premises?

- Yes.
- And may I see this storage facility?

- No.
- And why not, Mr. Venkman?

Because you did not use
the magic word.

What is the magic word,
Mr. Venkman?

"Please."

May I please see the storage facility,
Mr. Venkman?

Why do you want to see it?

Well, because I'm curious.

I want to know more about
what you do here.

There've been a lot of wild
stories in the media...

...and we want to assess
any possible environmental impact...

...from your operation.

For instance, the presence
of noxious...

...possibly hazardous waste chemicals
in your basement.

Now, you show me what is down there,
or I come back with a court order.

You go get a court order, and I'll sue
your ass for wrongful prosecution!

You can have it your way,
Mr. Venkman.

I'm worried. It's crowded in there,
and my data...

...points to something big
on the horizon.

What do you mean, "big"?

Well, let's say this Twinkie
represents the normal amount...

...of psychokinetic energy
in the New York area.

According to this morning's sample,
it would be a Twinkie...

...35 feet long, weighing
approximately 600 pounds.

That's a big Twinkie.

We could be on the verge
of a fourfold cross-rip...

...a PKE surge of incredible,
even dangerous, proportions.

We just had a visit from the
Environmental Protection Agency.

- How's the grid holding up?
- Not good.

Tell him about the Twinkie.

What about the Twinkie?

- Oh, Dana, it's you.
- Hello, Louis.

You gotta come in here.
You're missing a classic party.

Yes, well, I would, Louis,
but I have a date coming over.

You made a date...

- ...tonight?
- Well, I'm sorry, Louis. I forgot.

Oh, that's okay.
You can bring him along.

All right. Maybe we'll stop by, okay?

That's great. I'll tell everybody.

We're gonna play Twister,
we're gonna do some breakdancing...

Hey...

Hey, let me in! It's Louis!
Somebody, let me in!

Hello?

Hi, Mom.

I've been busy.

Well... No, everything is fine.

Yeah. No, just that one time.

Oh, I am.

I will.

I won't. Mom, I have to go.
I have a date.

Yes. No, no one you know. It's...

Well, he's a Ghostbuster.

Those guys on TV.

Yes, well, I'll have to let you know.

Okay. Love to Dad.

Right. Bye. Bye.

Oh, shit.

Do you have any Excedrin
or Extra Strength Tylenol?

Gee, I think all I got is
acetylsalicylic acid. Generic.

I can get 600 tablets of that for the
same price as 300 of the name brand.

Makes good financial sense.
Good advice.

This is real smoked salmon
from Nova Scotia, Canada...

...24.95 a pound.

It only cost me 14. 12
after tax, though.

I'm giving this as
a promotional expense.

That's why I invited clients instead
of friends. Having a good time, Marv?

How you doing? Have some Brie.
It's at room temperature.

You think it's too warm for Brie?

Louis, I'm going home.

Don't leave yet. Listen,
maybe if we start dancing...

...other people will join in.

Okay.

Oh, don't move.
I just gotta get the door.

- Ted! Annette!
- Hi.

I'm glad you could come.
Give me your coats.

Everybody, this is Ted
and Annette Fleming.

How are you?

Ted has a small carpet-cleaning
business in receivership.

Annette's drawing a salary from
a deferred bonus from two years ago.

They got 15,000 left
on the house at 8 percent.

So they're okay!

Does anybody want
to play Parcheesi?

Okay, who brought the dog?

Help! There's a bear loose
in my apartment! Help! Help!

Help!

- What?
- A bear in his apartment.

I'm gonna bring this up
at the tenants' meeting.

There's not supposed to be
any pets in the building.

Let me in. There's gotta be a way
in here. I gotta get...

Somebody, let me in!

Nice doggy.

Cute little pooch.

Maybe I got a Milk-Bone.

- What happened?
- Some moron brought...

...a cougar to a party,
and it went berserk.

Hi, I'm going up to Dana Barrett's.
Okay.

Hello?

That's a different look for you,
isn't it?

Are you the Keymaster?

Not that I know of.

Are you the Keymaster?

Yes.

I'm a friend of his.
He told me to meet him here.

- I didn't get your name.
- I am Zuul.

I am the Gatekeeper.

- What are we doing today, Zuul?
- Prepare for the coming of Gozer.

Gozer, huh?

The Destructor.

Are we still going out?

You know, you could pick up the place
if you're expecting someone.

Do you want this body?

Is this a trick question?

I guess the roses worked, huh?

Take me now...

...sub-creature.

We never talk anymore.

Easy. I make it a rule never to get
involved with possessed people.

It's more of a guideline than a rule.

You know, I can...

I want you inside me.

Go ahead. No, I can't.

Sounds like you got at least
two people in there already.

Might be a little crowded.

Come on, why don't you
just quit trying...

...to upset and disturb Dr. Venkman
and just relax.

Lie down there. Relax.
Put your hands on your chest.

What I'd really like to do
is talk to Dana.

I want to talk to Dana.

Dana, it's Peter.

There is no Dana.
There is only Zuul.

Oh, Zuulie, you nut. Come on.

Come on, I want to talk
to Dana. Dana.

Just relax. Come on. Dana.

Dana. Can I talk to Dana?

There is no Dana, only Zuul.

What a lovely singing voice
you must have.

Now, I'm gonna count
to three, Zuulie.

And if I don't talk to Dana...

...there's gonna be some real trouble
in this apartment, I think.

One.

Two.

Two and a half.

Please come down.

I am the Keymaster.
The Destructor is coming.

The Traveler. The Destroyer.

Gatekeeper.

I am Vinz.

Vinz Clortho, Keymaster of Gozer.

Volguus Zildrohar, Lord of the
Sebouillia. Are you the Gatekeeper?

He pulls the wagon, I make
the deals. You want a ride?

Wait for the sign.
Then all prisoners will be released.

You will perish in flame,
you and all your kind! Gatekeeper!

What an asshole.

- Dropping off or picking up?
- Dropping off.

Just a moment.

- You a Ghostbuster?
- Yes.

We picked up this guy.
We don't know what to do.

Bellevue doesn't want him.
I'm afraid to lock him up.

I know you guys are into this stuff,
so I figured we'd check.

All right.

Are you the Gatekeeper?

You better bring him inside.

You are so kind to take
care of that man.

You know, you are
a real humanitarian.

I don't think he's human.

What did you say your name was?

Vinz Clortho, Keymaster of Gozer.

According to this,
his name's Louis Tully.

Lives on Central Park West.

Do you want some coffee, Mr. Tully?

- Do I?
- Yes, have some.

Yes, have some.

Vinz, you said before you
were waiting for a sign.

- What sign are you waiting for?
- Gozer the Traveler.

He will come in one
of the pre-chosen forms.

During rectification of the Vuldronaii,
the Traveler came as a large Torb.

Then, during the third reconciliation
of the Meketrex supplicants...

...they chose a new form for him,
that of a giant Sloar!

Many Shubs and Zuuls knew
what it was to be roasted...

...in the depths of the Sloar that day,
I can tell you.

- Egon.
- Excuse me.

There's something very strange
about that man.

I'm usually very psychic,
and I have a terrible feeling...

...that something awful
is gonna happen to you.

I'm afraid you're gonna die.

I'll get it.

- Hello?
- Egon, it's Peter.

- Thanks, I've got it.
- I have news from the world of Gozer.

- What is it, Peter?
- I'm here with Dana Barrett.

It seems the Goz has been
putting some moves...

...on my would-be girlfriend.
- How is she?

I think we can get her
a guest shot on Wild Kingdom.

I just whacked her up
with about 300 cc's of Thorazine.

She's gonna take a little nap now,
but she says she's the Gatekeeper.

- Does that make any sense to you?
- Some.

I just met the Keymaster.
He's here with me now.

Oh, wonderful. We have
to get these two together.

I think that would be
extraordinarily dangerous.

Okay, well, hold onto him.
I'll be there in a little while.

Good.

Thank you, Vinz. We have to find Ray.
I need him here immediately.

Bad news, honey, I gotta go to work.

Hey, will you stay here in bed
until I get back?

- Hey, Ray, do you believe in God?
- Never met him.

Yeah, well, I do. And I love
Jesus' style, you know?

This roof cap is made of
a magnesium-tungsten alloy.

What are you so involved
with there?

These are blueprints for the ironwork
in Dana Barrett's apartment...

...and they're very, very strange.

Hey, Ray, do you remember
something in the Bible about...

...the last days, when the dead
would rise from the grave?

I remember Revelations 7: 12.

And I looked as he opened
the sixth seal.

And behold, there was
a great earthquake.

And the sun became
as black as sackcloth.

And the moon became as blood.

And the seas boiled.
And the skies fell.

- Judgment day.
- Judgment day.

Every ancient religion has its myth
about the end of the world.

Myth? Ray, has it ever
occurred to you...

...maybe the reason
we've been so busy...

...is because the dead have
been rising from the grave?

- How about a little music?
- Yeah.

This way.

Excuse me. Excuse me.
Just where do you think you're going?

Step aside, or you'll be arrested
for interfering with the police.

No. Hold on. I've seen TV.
You can't come in here...

...without a warrant or a writ.

Cease and Desist All Commerce
order. Seizure of Premises.

Ban of Public Utilities
for Non-Licensed Waste Handlers...

...and a federal
Entry and Inspection order.

Vinz, there's one more test
I'd like to perform.

Egon. I tried to stop them.
He says they have a warrant.

- Excuse me, this is private property.
- Shut this off. Shut these all off.

I'm warning you. Turning off these
machines is hazardous.

I'll tell you hazardous.
You're facing prosecution...

...for a half-a-dozen
environmental violations.

You shut off these beams,
or we shut them off for you.

Understand, this is a high-voltage
laser containment system.

Turning it off would be
like dropping a bomb in the city.

Don't patronize me. I'm not stupid,
like the people you bilk.

At ease, officer. I'm Peter Venkman.
There's been a misunderstanding...

...and I want to cooperate
in any way I can.

Forget it. You had your chance
to cooperate...

...but you thought it'd be more fun to
insult me. Now it is my turn, wise-ass.

He wants to shut down
the protection grid.

You shut that thing down,
we won't be held responsible...

- You'll be responsible. Shut it off.
- No, we won't be held responsible.

Don't shut it off. I'm warning you.

I've never seen anything like this.
I don't know...

Yeah, I'm not interested in
your opinion. Just shut it off.

My friend, don't be a jerk.

- Step aside.
- If he does that again, you shoot him.

You do your job.
Don't tell me how to do mine.

- Thank you, officer.
- Shut it off!

Oh, shit.

Clear the building!

This is it. This is the sign.

Yeah, it's a sign, all right.
We're going out of business.

Hey, aim up there.

- What happened?
- Storage facility blew.

- He shut off the protection grid.
- Oh, great.

- That's bad, isn't it?
- Yeah.

- Where's the Keymaster?
- Shit.

- Who's the Keymaster?
- Oh, come on.

Hold it. I want this man arrested.

These men are in criminal violation
of the Environmental Protection Act.

- This explosion is a direct result of it.
- Your mother!

Come on, hold it! Hold it! Hold it!

Columbia Building, 57th Street.
I'm in a hurry, so let's not dawdle.

Hey, guard!

Look, I want to make a phone call.

I just work with these guys.
I wasn't even there.

The structure of this roof cap
is like the telemetry tracker...

...that NASA uses to identify
dead pulsars in deep space.

Cold-riveted girders
with cores of pure selenium.

Everybody getting this so far?

So what? I guess they just don't
make them like they used to.

No. Nobody ever made
them like this.

The architect was either a certified
genius or an authentic wacko.

Ray, for a moment...

...pretend that I don't know
anything about metallurgy...

...engineering or physics and just
tell me what the hell is going on.

You never studied.

The whole building is a huge
superconductive antenna...

...that was designed and
built for the purpose...

...of pulling in and concentrating
spiritual turbulence.

Your girlfriend lives in the
corner penthouse of spook central.

She's not my girlfriend.

I find her interesting because she's
a client and sleeps above her covers.

Four feet above her covers.
She barks. She drools. She claws.

It's not the girl, Peter,
it's the building.

Something terrible is about to enter
our world. This building is the door.

The architect's name
was Ivo Shandor.

I found it in Tobin's Spirit Guide.
He was also a doctor.

He performed a lot
of unnecessary surgery.

And then, in 1920,
he started a secret society.

- Let me guess. Gozer worshipers.
- Right.

No studying.

After World War I, Shandor decided
that society was too sick to survive.

He wasn't alone. He had close
to a thousand followers when he died.

They conducted rituals
up on the roof...

...bizarre rituals intended to bring
about the end of the world.

And now it looks like
it may actually happen.

We have to get out of here
and find a judge or something.

Hey, wait a minute.
Hey, hey, hey. Hold it.

Are we going to go
before a judge to say...

...that a Babylonian god is
gonna drop in on Central Park West...

- ...and start tearing up the city?
- Sumerian, not Babylonian.

- Yeah, big difference.
- No offense...

...but I gotta get my own lawyer.

Okay, Ghostbusters.
The mayor wants to see you guys.

The whole island's going crazy.
Let's go.

I gotta split. The mayor wants to
rap with me about some things.

- I am the Keymaster.
- I am the Gatekeeper.

- Back. Back. Stay back.
- Stay back. Stay back.

I've got a city blowing up,
and you aren't giving me answers.

We're blocking the bridges,
the roads...

The Ghostbusters are here.

The Ghostbusters.
Okay, the Ghostbusters.

Hey, and where's this Peck?

Peck. I am Walter Peck, sir, and
I am prepared to make a full report.

These men are consummate
snowball artists.

They use sense and nerve gases
to induce hallucinations.

People think they're seeing ghosts,
and they call these bozos...

...who show up to deal
with the problem...

...with a fake electronic light show.

Everything was fine with our system
until the power grid...

- ...was shut off by dickless here.
- They caused an explosion.

- Is this true?
- Yes, it's true. This man has no dick.

Hey, come on. Knock it off.
Hey, break it up!

- All right.
- Well, that's what I heard.

This is City Hall.

Now, what am I gonna do here, John?
What is this?

All I know is that was no light show
we saw this morning.

I've seen every form
of combustion known to man...

...but this beats the hell out of me.

The walls in the 53rd Precinct
were bleeding.

- How do you explain that?
- Good afternoon, gentlemen.

Oh, Your Eminence.

- How are you, Lenny?
- You're looking good, Mike.

We're in a real fix here.
What do you think I should do?

Officially, the church
will not take any position...

...on the religious implications
of these phenomena.

Personally, Lenny...

...I think it's a sign from God.
But don't quote me on that.

That's a smart move, Mike.

I won't call a press conference...

...and tell everyone to start praying.

I'm Winston Zeddmore, Your Honor.

I've only been with the company
for a couple weeks.

But I gotta tell you,
these things are real.

Since I joined these men,
I have seen shit that'll turn you white.

Well, you can believe Mr. Pecker.

- My name is Peck.
- Or you could accept the fact...

...that this city is headed for
a disaster of biblical proportions.

- Well, what do you mean, "biblical"?
- What he means is Old Testament.

- Real wrath-of-God-type stuff.
- Exactly.

Fire and brimstone down from
the skies. Rivers and seas boiling.

Forty years of darkness.
Earthquakes. Volcanoes.

- Dead rising from the grave.
- Human sacrifice.

Dogs and cats living together.
Mass hysteria.

Enough! I get the point.

But what if you're wrong?

If I'm wrong, nothing happens.
We go to jail, peacefully, quietly.

We'll enjoy it. But if I'm right...

...and we can stop this thing...

Lenny, you will have
saved the lives...

...of millions of registered voters.

I don't believe you're seriously
considering listening to these men.

Get him out of here.

- Bye.
- I'll fix you. I'm gonna fix you.

I'll get you a nice fruit basket.
I'm going to miss him.

All right. All right.

We got work to do. Now,
what do you need from me?

Come on, let's run some red lights!

Hello, New York.

Hello, everybody!

Dr. Ray Stantz, would you please?
The heart of the Ghostbusters.

Thank you. They love you.
They love you here.

- I like that shirt, friend.
- Ghostbusters! All right!

Gotta run. Got a date with a ghost.

Okay, whatever happens,
let's be professional.

We might have to put a little
overtime in on this one.

There they are. There they are.

I was in no way prepared for that.

It's all right. Don't worry.
We're fine. We can handle it.

We can take it.
They want to play rough.

Ghostbusters! Ghostbusters!
Ghostbusters!

- Wanna play rough?
- Yeah.

Let's do it.

Where are we?

It looks like we're
in the teens somewhere.

Well, when we get to 20, tell me.
I'm gonna throw up.

- Twenty-two. Is this it?
- Yep.

Art deco. Very nice.

- Where is it?
- It's at the end of the hall.

Hey, where do these stairs go?

They go up.

Okay, go ahead. Come on.
Go ahead.

Watch it. Go ahead.

Dana.

Okay, so she's a dog.

It's a girl.

- It's Gozer.
- I thought Gozer was a man.

- It's whatever it wants to be.
- Whatever it is, it's gotta get by us.

Right.

Go get her, Ray!

Gozer the Gozerian?

Good evening. As a duly designated
representative of the city...

...county and state of New York...

...I order you to cease
all supernatural activity...

...and return to your place of origin...

...or to the nearest convenient
parallel dimension.

That ought to do it.
Thanks very much, Ray.

Are you a god?

- No.
- Then die!

Ray, when someone asks you
if you're a god, you say, "Yes."

All right. This chick is toast.

- Got your stick?
- Holding it.

Heat them up!

Smoking!

- Make them hard.
- Ready!

Let's show this prehistoric bitch
how we do things downtown.

Throw it!

- Nimble little minx, isn't she?
- We better go full stream.

Aim for the flattop.

Wasn't so hard.

We neutronized it.

You know what that means?
A complete particle reversal.

And we had the tools.
We had the talent.

It's Miller time.

- Ray, this looks extraordinarily bad.
- Oh, no.

What?

Look out!

Sub-creatures. Gozer the Gozerian,
Gozer the Destructor...

...Volguus Zildrohar
the Traveler has come.

Choose and perish.

What do you mean, "choose"?
We don't understand.

Choose. Choose the form
of the Destructor.

Oh, I get it. I get it. Oh, very cute.

Whatever we think of.
If we think of J. Edgar Hoover...

...J. Edgar Hoover will appear and
destroy us, so empty your heads.

Don't think of anything.
We've only got one shot at this.

The choice is made.

The Traveler has come.

Nobody choosed anything.

- Did you choose anything?
- No.

- Did you?
- My mind is blank.

I didn't choose anything!

I couldn't help it.

It just popped in there.

What? What just popped in there?

- I tried to think...
- Look!

- No! It can't be.
- What is it?

- It can't be.
- What did you do, Ray?

Oh, shit.

It's the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man.

There's something
you don't see every day.

I tried to think of a harmless thing.

Something I loved
from my childhood.

Something that could never, ever
possibly destroy us. Mr. Stay Puft.

Nice thinking, Ray.

We used to roast
Stay Puft marshmallows...

...by the fire at Camp Waconda.

Ray, has gone bye-bye, Egon.
What have you got left?

Sorry, Venkman. I'm terrified beyond
the capacity for rational thought.

- Oh, no.
- Mother pus bucket.

Nobody steps on a church
in my town.

One, two, three, roast him.

Funny, us going out like this.

Killed by a 100-foot
marshmallow man.

We've been going about this wrong.
This Mr. Stay Puft is a sailor.

He's in New York. We get this
guy laid, we won't have any trouble.

I have a radical idea.
The door swings both ways.

We could reverse the particle flow
through the gate.

How?

- We'll cross the streams.
- Excuse me, Egon.

You said crossing the streams
was bad.

- Cross the streams.
- You're gonna endanger us.

You're gonna endanger our client...

...the nice lady who paid us in
advance before she became a dog.

Not necessarily. There's definitely
a very slim chance we'll survive.

I love this plan. I'm excited
to be a part of it. Let's do it.

This job is definitely not
worth 11,500 a year.

Hurry.

See you on the other side, Ray.

Nice working with you, Dr. Venkman.

Let's turn them on, Spengler!

Now, Spengler!

Get out of here!

Winston.

Are you all right?

Venkman?

Spengler!

Venkman!

Spengler.

Oh, Spengler. Oh, are you okay?

I feel like the floor of a taxicab.

- Venky!
- Yeah, where are you?

Oh, thank God.

- You okay?
- I'm all right.

- You all right?
- I'm all right.

- You all right?
- Yeah. You okay?

Fine.

It smells like barbecued dog hair.

Oh, Venkman.

Oh, Venkman, I'm sorry.

I'm sorry. I just... I just forgot.

Look!

Somebody turn on the lights!

- Help! Somebody!
- Go check on that little guy.

What happened?

Where am I?

Oh, hi.

You'll be all right.

Boy, the superintendent's
gonna be pissed.

Are you okay?

Who are you guys?

We're the Ghostbusters.

Who does your taxes?

You know, Mr. Tully,
you are a most fortunate individual.

- I know.
- You have been a participant in...

...the biggest interdimensional cross
rip since the Tunguska blast of 1909.

- Felt great.
- We'd like to get a sample...

- ...of your brain tissue.
- Okay.

I love this town!

Egon!

What's going on?

Does anybody want to interview me?

I'm an eyewitness. I was up there.

I want to go with them in the car.