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1
00:00:03,655 --> 00:00:05,875
-[Irish music playing]
-DEE: Dennis.
2
00:00:05,918 --> 00:00:08,008
Wake up, buddy.
3
00:00:08,051 --> 00:00:10,053
Smell the stew, okay?
4
00:00:10,097 --> 00:00:14,449
Breathe in the arousing aromas
5
00:00:14,492 --> 00:00:16,886
of this delicious st--
Ah, screw it.
6
00:00:16,929 --> 00:00:20,498
-[screaming]
-[laughs]
7
00:00:20,542 --> 00:00:22,413
What the hell was that?
That's hot as shit.
8
00:00:22,457 --> 00:00:23,980
Yeah, yeah, that's
a whole bowl of stew
9
00:00:24,024 --> 00:00:25,329
you took right in the grill.
10
00:00:25,373 --> 00:00:27,549
See? It does wake people up.
11
00:00:27,592 --> 00:00:29,333
[grunts]
12
00:00:29,377 --> 00:00:31,509
Why am I in a hospital? [spits]
13
00:00:33,468 --> 00:00:35,861
And why is your head still on?
Did they reattach it?
14
00:00:35,905 --> 00:00:37,385
Left the skin
pretty loose, I see.
15
00:00:37,428 --> 00:00:39,039
You didn't behead me,
you stupid idiot.
16
00:00:39,082 --> 00:00:41,084
You had a 105-degree fever,
17
00:00:41,128 --> 00:00:42,738
and you were hallucinating.
18
00:00:42,781 --> 00:00:44,696
You were too weak
to even lift the ax.
19
00:00:44,740 --> 00:00:46,089
You did collapse
and shit yourself
20
00:00:46,133 --> 00:00:47,308
and stink up the whole castle.
21
00:00:47,351 --> 00:00:50,137
You know, Dee, I, uh...
22
00:00:50,180 --> 00:00:52,182
I'm starting to think
I might have had COVID.
23
00:00:52,226 --> 00:00:54,097
-Oh, yeah? You think?
-Yeah.
24
00:00:54,141 --> 00:00:56,186
Mr. Reynolds, you're finally up.
25
00:00:56,230 --> 00:00:57,666
What is that?
26
00:00:57,709 --> 00:01:00,321
-It's stew.
What's the update, man? -Stew.
27
00:01:00,364 --> 00:01:02,714
Uh, okay. How are we feeling?
28
00:01:02,758 --> 00:01:04,890
Uh, outraged, violated,
29
00:01:04,934 --> 00:01:06,936
disgusted at the looseness
of my sister's neck,
30
00:01:06,979 --> 00:01:08,416
covered in stew,
31
00:01:08,459 --> 00:01:10,809
dragged from my castle
to a dingy hospital
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00:01:10,853 --> 00:01:12,768
where I'm about to be saddled
with an enormous bill.
33
00:01:12,811 --> 00:01:14,726
Well, there is no bill.
It's free.
34
00:01:14,770 --> 00:01:16,032
Ireland has public health care.
35
00:01:16,076 --> 00:01:17,990
Oh, well, then that'll be fine.
36
00:01:18,034 --> 00:01:19,209
It's free, huh?
37
00:01:19,253 --> 00:01:22,038
Well, then maybe I ought
to get my neck done.
38
00:01:22,082 --> 00:01:24,214
[laughter]
39
00:01:24,258 --> 00:01:25,824
Yeah, your sister's a stitch.
40
00:01:25,868 --> 00:01:27,565
Oh, yeah?
Have you heard the one
41
00:01:27,609 --> 00:01:29,524
about the hot Irish doctor
who has a fling
42
00:01:29,567 --> 00:01:31,482
with the hilarious
American tourist?
43
00:01:31,526 --> 00:01:33,136
'Cause I could give you
the punch line
44
00:01:33,180 --> 00:01:34,833
over drinks tonight, my place.
45
00:01:34,877 --> 00:01:37,314
Uh, sure. Yeah, yeah.
Sounds great.
46
00:01:37,358 --> 00:01:39,099
-Tonight it is.
-[Irish brogue]: Tonight it is.
47
00:01:42,058 --> 00:01:44,191
Looks like mama's about to have
48
00:01:44,234 --> 00:01:46,628
a little of the old
luck of the Irish.
49
00:01:46,671 --> 00:01:48,195
[laughs]
50
00:01:48,238 --> 00:01:50,066
["Pot of Gold"
by Christopher Beaty playing]
51
00:02:09,085 --> 00:02:11,218
DEE: You know, I'm just so glad
you're feeling better,
52
00:02:11,261 --> 00:02:12,523
Dennis, I really am.
53
00:02:12,567 --> 00:02:14,090
Now, a couple quick things
about the castle,
54
00:02:14,134 --> 00:02:16,527
I do need you to clear out
of here for the night.
55
00:02:16,571 --> 00:02:18,703
-What?
-Mm.
56
00:02:18,747 --> 00:02:20,357
Dee, I haven't even begun
to do half the things
57
00:02:20,401 --> 00:02:21,532
I want to do with this castle.
58
00:02:21,576 --> 00:02:23,534
-Now you're asking me to leave?
-Yeah.
59
00:02:23,578 --> 00:02:25,188
-[Frank shouts]
-[gasps] -Oh, Christ!
60
00:02:25,232 --> 00:02:26,407
Frankenstein in the house.
61
00:02:26,450 --> 00:02:28,539
-Christ. What is this?
-What are you doing?
62
00:02:28,583 --> 00:02:31,238
Just want to reconnect
with my kids.
63
00:02:31,281 --> 00:02:33,196
Not you so much, more Dennis.
64
00:02:33,240 --> 00:02:35,764
Like, you know,
father-son thing.
65
00:02:35,807 --> 00:02:37,635
I mean, you know, it's one of
the strongest bonds there is.
66
00:02:37,679 --> 00:02:40,421
-Come on. Give me a kiss.
-What are you doing?
67
00:02:40,464 --> 00:02:42,031
-A kiss? [stammers] No!
-Come on, give me a... lean down, give me a kiss.
68
00:02:42,074 --> 00:02:43,728
Give your daddy a kiss.
69
00:02:43,772 --> 00:02:44,903
No, no! God. Get your lips
away from me, Frank.
70
00:02:44,947 --> 00:02:47,036
What?
71
00:02:47,079 --> 00:02:48,820
-Cut the bullshit.
What's your angle? -What are you doing here?
72
00:02:48,864 --> 00:02:50,561
Charlie's got a new dad.
73
00:02:50,605 --> 00:02:52,520
A-a new dad?
74
00:02:52,563 --> 00:02:53,912
-Weird.
-Yeah.
75
00:02:53,956 --> 00:02:56,219
I want to humiliate the jerk.
76
00:02:56,263 --> 00:02:58,395
I want to send
his Irish ass packing.
77
00:02:58,439 --> 00:03:00,180
-He's jealous.
-Yeah.
78
00:03:00,223 --> 00:03:02,399
Okay, well, listen, I-I don't
have any interest in the, uh,
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00:03:02,443 --> 00:03:04,662
interpersonal dynamics
between an old man
80
00:03:04,706 --> 00:03:07,230
and his
roommate/surrogate adult son,
81
00:03:07,274 --> 00:03:08,753
but if we can incorporate
82
00:03:08,797 --> 00:03:10,973
the castle into it
in some way, then I'm in.
83
00:03:11,016 --> 00:03:12,148
-Done.
-DEE: No.
84
00:03:12,192 --> 00:03:13,454
-No.
-Yes.
85
00:03:13,497 --> 00:03:15,238
Goddamn it, no!
You listen to me.
86
00:03:15,282 --> 00:03:18,676
This trip has been absolutely
ruined because of you, okay?
87
00:03:18,720 --> 00:03:21,505
And I have one chance tonight
to have a good time in Ireland,
88
00:03:21,549 --> 00:03:23,159
so here is what
is going to happen,
89
00:03:23,203 --> 00:03:25,683
I'm going to go down to the bog,
I'm going to gather peat moss
90
00:03:25,727 --> 00:03:27,903
to burn it to try
and get rid of the shit smell
91
00:03:27,946 --> 00:03:29,818
that Dennis stunk up
the castle with.
92
00:03:29,861 --> 00:03:32,342
Do not be here when I get back.
93
00:03:32,386 --> 00:03:33,691
Cool.
94
00:03:36,825 --> 00:03:38,174
[chuckles]
95
00:03:38,218 --> 00:03:39,393
She's... [chuckles]
96
00:03:39,436 --> 00:03:41,656
-Bent out of shape.
-Yeah.
97
00:03:41,699 --> 00:03:44,311
Well... just me and you, huh?
98
00:03:44,354 --> 00:03:47,139
-Yeah.
-[chuckles]
99
00:03:47,183 --> 00:03:49,925
It's a little odd being
one on one, though, you know.
100
00:03:49,968 --> 00:03:51,274
I feel, I feel like
we usually have a buffer.
101
00:03:51,318 --> 00:03:52,449
Yeah.
102
00:03:53,711 --> 00:03:54,930
Yeah.
103
00:04:00,022 --> 00:04:01,806
GUS:
So, Mac,
104
00:04:01,850 --> 00:04:04,505
when did you hear the call
to become a priest?
105
00:04:04,548 --> 00:04:07,247
Oh, when God took away
my Irish identity
106
00:04:07,290 --> 00:04:10,989
and made me Dutch to smite me
for the urges that He gave me
107
00:04:11,033 --> 00:04:13,601
when I made the original sin
of being born.
108
00:04:13,644 --> 00:04:15,777
That's not the way
God works, Mac.
109
00:04:15,820 --> 00:04:17,605
He doesn't smite us.
110
00:04:17,648 --> 00:04:19,998
Yes, He does. Yes, He does.
Remember the flood
111
00:04:20,042 --> 00:04:21,609
that took out the whole world?
112
00:04:21,652 --> 00:04:23,567
Remember? Then-then-then
Noah made that ark,
113
00:04:23,611 --> 00:04:25,308
and he saved himself
but no women,
114
00:04:25,352 --> 00:04:27,005
-which was really cool.
-[both laugh]
115
00:04:27,049 --> 00:04:29,486
Not sure how he made
more people after that, though.
116
00:04:29,530 --> 00:04:30,879
Could've been
another rib situation.
117
00:04:30,922 --> 00:04:33,229
Either way, then God made
the Ark of the Covenant
118
00:04:33,273 --> 00:04:35,579
where he promised
to never, ever do it again.
119
00:04:35,623 --> 00:04:37,407
Then a bunch of people
looked at it.
120
00:04:37,451 --> 00:04:40,280
He didn't like that,
so he blasted them, too.
121
00:04:40,323 --> 00:04:42,412
Remember, the Nazis got
their faces all melted off,
122
00:04:42,456 --> 00:04:44,545
and the-the guy with the whip
and the hat, he was cool.
123
00:04:44,588 --> 00:04:47,722
I think you've mixed that
story up with Indiana Jones.
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00:04:47,765 --> 00:04:49,550
Oh. I did?
125
00:04:49,593 --> 00:04:51,726
-Yeah, but listen...
-Oh.
126
00:04:51,769 --> 00:04:54,468
...many of the stories
in the Bible are metaphors.
127
00:04:54,511 --> 00:04:56,731
Parables with lessons.
128
00:04:56,774 --> 00:04:58,820
What's the lesson of the
last one? Don't look at my shit?
129
00:04:58,863 --> 00:05:00,561
Look, you're looking at this
all wrong.
130
00:05:00,604 --> 00:05:02,780
The Bible is a guidepost.
131
00:05:02,824 --> 00:05:04,913
Interpretations
can change over time.
132
00:05:04,956 --> 00:05:06,349
They can?
133
00:05:06,393 --> 00:05:08,351
Yes, and so can the Church.
134
00:05:08,395 --> 00:05:11,223
Our God, the God we teach here,
135
00:05:11,267 --> 00:05:12,964
is a merciful God.
136
00:05:13,008 --> 00:05:16,054
One that loves us
for exactly who we are.
137
00:05:16,098 --> 00:05:18,318
Otherwise, why would He have
made us that way
138
00:05:18,361 --> 00:05:19,667
in the first place?
139
00:05:19,710 --> 00:05:21,277
[chuckles]
140
00:05:21,321 --> 00:05:23,018
Yeah.
141
00:05:23,061 --> 00:05:25,150
Yeah. Wow.
142
00:05:25,194 --> 00:05:26,413
Thanks, Gus.
143
00:05:26,456 --> 00:05:27,892
SHELLEY:
That's John Patrick Kelly.
144
00:05:27,936 --> 00:05:28,980
Killed by the plague.
145
00:05:30,634 --> 00:05:33,028
And his son William,
also the plague.
146
00:05:33,071 --> 00:05:35,291
And Michael Kelly.
147
00:05:35,335 --> 00:05:36,727
He was attacked
by the village loon,
148
00:05:36,771 --> 00:05:38,686
became a loon himself.
149
00:05:38,729 --> 00:05:41,819
He died from eating rocks,
which he thought were eggs.
150
00:05:41,863 --> 00:05:44,822
Oof. [laughs] Yeah,
I've made that mistake, yeah.
151
00:05:44,866 --> 00:05:47,259
So, are all
the Kellys buried here?
152
00:05:47,303 --> 00:05:48,870
Uh...
153
00:05:48,913 --> 00:05:51,829
Honored, yes. Buried, no.
154
00:05:51,873 --> 00:05:54,223
They were all thrown
from a cliff into the sea.
155
00:05:54,266 --> 00:05:56,878
You see, legend has it
156
00:05:56,921 --> 00:05:59,315
that only when a man is thrown
from a cliff into the sea,
157
00:05:59,359 --> 00:06:01,622
may his soul be released.
158
00:06:01,665 --> 00:06:04,233
-Huh.
-When I pass, I'll have the same done for me.
159
00:06:04,276 --> 00:06:07,628
All Kelly men must be thrown
from a cliff into the sea.
160
00:06:07,671 --> 00:06:09,586
Wow.
161
00:06:09,630 --> 00:06:10,761
-That's pretty cool.
-Yeah.
162
00:06:10,805 --> 00:06:12,067
Yeah. What about the women?
163
00:06:12,110 --> 00:06:13,808
Oh, the women are thrown
from a cliff as well.
164
00:06:13,851 --> 00:06:14,939
Mostly alive.
165
00:06:14,983 --> 00:06:17,420
[stammers] Just to see
if they can fly,
166
00:06:17,464 --> 00:06:19,248
as they're presumed
to be witches.
167
00:06:19,291 --> 00:06:21,119
Right. Right.
168
00:06:21,163 --> 00:06:24,079
Well, we...
we honor their spirits.
169
00:06:24,122 --> 00:06:26,908
Ah, yes, their spirits
watch over us. The men, that is.
170
00:06:26,951 --> 00:06:28,083
Ah.
171
00:06:28,126 --> 00:06:30,346
The women roam the land
172
00:06:30,390 --> 00:06:32,827
as terrible hags and banshees
173
00:06:32,870 --> 00:06:36,308
whose wailing warns
of impending death.
174
00:06:36,352 --> 00:06:37,919
If you ever see
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00:06:37,962 --> 00:06:39,399
a gruesome woman
176
00:06:39,442 --> 00:06:41,313
covered in filth
177
00:06:41,357 --> 00:06:43,054
with long, stringy hair,
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00:06:43,098 --> 00:06:45,448
who's horribly shrieking
179
00:06:45,492 --> 00:06:47,276
in the night,
180
00:06:47,319 --> 00:06:48,669
the end is near.
181
00:06:49,931 --> 00:06:51,019
[sighs]
182
00:06:51,062 --> 00:06:52,324
Whoa.
183
00:06:54,849 --> 00:06:56,938
I mean, how am I supposed
to know what peat is?
184
00:06:56,981 --> 00:07:00,071
What am I, a botanist?
185
00:07:00,115 --> 00:07:02,204
Hey-o. I'll burn you.
186
00:07:02,247 --> 00:07:04,467
Be like lighting a match.
That works.
187
00:07:04,511 --> 00:07:06,077
-[phone buzzing]
-Oh.
188
00:07:07,557 --> 00:07:10,168
Hey-o. That's my guy.
189
00:07:10,212 --> 00:07:13,041
A selfie, huh? You got it.
190
00:07:13,084 --> 00:07:14,912
[phone camera clicks]
191
00:07:14,956 --> 00:07:17,045
Oh, goddamn it.
192
00:07:17,088 --> 00:07:19,134
Dennis got me all worked up
about my neck.
193
00:07:19,177 --> 00:07:22,180
Here.
194
00:07:22,224 --> 00:07:23,443
[phone camera clicks]
195
00:07:23,486 --> 00:07:24,966
I mean, that's just insane.
196
00:07:25,009 --> 00:07:26,446
Maybe if I stand back
a little bit.
197
00:07:29,231 --> 00:07:30,798
Let's see here.
198
00:07:32,756 --> 00:07:34,279
-Oh!
-[phone camera clicks]
199
00:07:34,323 --> 00:07:36,325
[coughs] Ew.
200
00:07:38,414 --> 00:07:39,371
Oh, shit.
201
00:07:39,415 --> 00:07:41,461
[grunting]
202
00:07:44,202 --> 00:07:47,031
Oh... Help!
203
00:07:47,075 --> 00:07:48,032
Dennis!
204
00:07:48,076 --> 00:07:50,165
Um, I...
205
00:07:50,208 --> 00:07:52,297
This is crazy,
but I think I'm stuck.
206
00:07:52,341 --> 00:07:53,473
[bog bubbling]
207
00:07:53,516 --> 00:07:55,300
Am I sinking?
208
00:07:55,344 --> 00:07:56,563
Oh, shit, I'm sinking.
209
00:07:59,087 --> 00:08:00,697
Yes.
210
00:08:01,916 --> 00:08:03,657
Yes.
211
00:08:03,700 --> 00:08:04,919
You're right.
212
00:08:04,962 --> 00:08:06,964
Huh? Who you talking to?
213
00:08:07,008 --> 00:08:09,358
Hmm? Oh, uh, nothing.
It's just the-the castle.
214
00:08:09,401 --> 00:08:10,620
The castle?
215
00:08:10,664 --> 00:08:11,839
-Oh.
-Yeah, don't worry about it.
216
00:08:11,882 --> 00:08:13,623
-Yeah, no.
-Okay, we've got it.
217
00:08:13,667 --> 00:08:15,886
-What?
-It'll be a dinner.
218
00:08:15,930 --> 00:08:18,541
-Hmm?
-A banquet of humiliation.
219
00:08:18,585 --> 00:08:21,936
Wait a minute.
The old turd in the soup trick.
220
00:08:21,979 --> 00:08:23,720
-What? No. We're not...
-Turd in the soup.
221
00:08:23,764 --> 00:08:26,070
We're not putting a turd
in someone's soup, Frank, okay?
222
00:08:26,114 --> 00:08:28,464
Can we be a little bit more
sophisticated than that?
223
00:08:28,508 --> 00:08:31,989
All right, so you invite them
to a classy dinner.
224
00:08:32,033 --> 00:08:33,600
You wine and dine the man
225
00:08:33,643 --> 00:08:36,037
while also pointing out
all of his character flaws,
226
00:08:36,080 --> 00:08:37,604
and then you lure him over
227
00:08:37,647 --> 00:08:40,258
to the castle's murder hole.
228
00:08:40,302 --> 00:08:42,565
Is that like a-a glory hole?
229
00:08:42,609 --> 00:08:45,046
A predecessor to
the glory hole, perhaps.
230
00:08:45,089 --> 00:08:47,439
It's a discreet opening
concealed in plain sight,
231
00:08:47,483 --> 00:08:48,615
except, instead of for sex,
232
00:08:48,658 --> 00:08:51,618
it's used for murder.
233
00:08:51,661 --> 00:08:54,098
-[laughs]
-[whoops]
234
00:08:54,142 --> 00:08:55,535
-You didn't see that there,
did you? -No.
235
00:08:55,578 --> 00:08:57,624
No. [laughs] Yeah, so you'll
236
00:08:57,667 --> 00:08:59,190
lure him under the hole,
237
00:08:59,234 --> 00:09:01,192
where I will, uh,
douse him with boiling oil
238
00:09:01,236 --> 00:09:04,979
or hot tar or really
any scalding substance.
239
00:09:05,022 --> 00:09:06,676
Wait, you're gonna char the guy?
240
00:09:06,720 --> 00:09:08,112
[laughs]
Yeah.
241
00:09:08,156 --> 00:09:09,549
-Gonna char him up?
-Yeah.
242
00:09:09,592 --> 00:09:11,028
I'm not gonna kill him
or anything, but it's-it's
243
00:09:11,072 --> 00:09:12,290
got to be hot enough
to be annoying as shit, right?
244
00:09:12,334 --> 00:09:13,422
-You know what I mean?
-Yeah. Burn him.
245
00:09:13,465 --> 00:09:14,815
Uh, he's gonna get burned.
246
00:09:14,858 --> 00:09:15,990
But, I mean, Charlie's got
to see him lose his cool,
247
00:09:16,033 --> 00:09:17,469
so we can expose him
248
00:09:17,513 --> 00:09:19,471
as the child-abandoning monster
that he really is.
249
00:09:19,515 --> 00:09:21,648
-Exactly.
-Oh, FYI,
250
00:09:21,691 --> 00:09:24,041
I'll know exactly when to pour
the boiling substance on him
251
00:09:24,085 --> 00:09:26,957
because I'm going to be hiding
in this passageway here.
252
00:09:27,001 --> 00:09:28,872
I'm gonna take this painting,
253
00:09:28,916 --> 00:09:30,352
cover up the passageway.
254
00:09:30,395 --> 00:09:32,397
I'm gonna cut out the eyeholes
255
00:09:32,441 --> 00:09:34,704
so I can see everything
that's happening.
256
00:09:34,748 --> 00:09:36,053
That's something
I've always wanted to do,
257
00:09:36,097 --> 00:09:38,229
and it fully takes advantage
of the castle.
258
00:09:38,273 --> 00:09:40,101
It also happens to be
the castle's preference
259
00:09:40,144 --> 00:09:42,625
for how this
is all gonna go down.
260
00:09:42,669 --> 00:09:43,974
-Oh, right.
-Yeah.
261
00:09:44,018 --> 00:09:45,585
Wow. I wouldn't have been able
262
00:09:45,628 --> 00:09:47,543
to think of this
all by myself. I...
263
00:09:47,587 --> 00:09:48,979
I mean... You know,
264
00:09:49,023 --> 00:09:51,852
the sickness and anger
inside of you is diabolical.
265
00:09:51,895 --> 00:09:55,551
-Way to go, son.
-Well...
266
00:09:55,595 --> 00:09:58,032
I suppose all of your years
of neglect
267
00:09:58,075 --> 00:10:00,164
and misdeeds
268
00:10:00,208 --> 00:10:02,558
have allowed me to harness
the darkness inside me
269
00:10:02,602 --> 00:10:04,908
and to unleash it
270
00:10:04,952 --> 00:10:07,563
without conscience, so...
271
00:10:07,607 --> 00:10:10,610
Yeah, perhaps I owe you a...
272
00:10:10,653 --> 00:10:13,525
thanks for making me the man
I am today, Frank. Thank you.
273
00:10:13,569 --> 00:10:15,876
You're welcome.
274
00:10:15,919 --> 00:10:18,226
Yeah, y...
Maybe I'll just, um...
275
00:10:25,233 --> 00:10:26,495
-There.
-Oh.
276
00:10:26,538 --> 00:10:29,585
Was that okay to do?
277
00:10:29,629 --> 00:10:32,022
Yeah, it was nice.
278
00:10:32,066 --> 00:10:35,417
Good.
279
00:10:35,460 --> 00:10:37,027
So, you're telling me
280
00:10:37,071 --> 00:10:38,420
that the whole
Cain and Abel thing
281
00:10:38,463 --> 00:10:39,421
didn't actually happen?
282
00:10:39,464 --> 00:10:40,596
Metaphor.
283
00:10:40,640 --> 00:10:42,424
This is all so confusing.
284
00:10:42,467 --> 00:10:44,121
Yes, look... [sighs]
285
00:10:44,165 --> 00:10:47,429
Our faith is...
it's complicated.
286
00:10:47,472 --> 00:10:49,083
Can I admit something?
287
00:10:49,126 --> 00:10:52,652
You said you were, you were
born a certain way.
288
00:10:52,695 --> 00:10:54,784
-You're... different.
-Mm-hmm.
289
00:10:54,828 --> 00:10:57,134
You have urges that,
traditionally,
290
00:10:57,178 --> 00:10:59,702
the Church has been
very clear about.
291
00:10:59,746 --> 00:11:00,747
Well...
292
00:11:00,790 --> 00:11:03,488
I have those urges, too.
293
00:11:03,532 --> 00:11:05,708
-You do?
-Yes.
294
00:11:05,752 --> 00:11:08,232
I, too, have an eye
for the lads.
295
00:11:08,276 --> 00:11:11,453
It's not uncommon.
There's nothing wrong with it.
296
00:11:11,496 --> 00:11:14,282
It's who He made us.
297
00:11:14,325 --> 00:11:16,719
But, uh, our path,
298
00:11:16,763 --> 00:11:19,461
this path, is very clear.
299
00:11:19,504 --> 00:11:22,333
We must never act
on those urges.
300
00:11:22,377 --> 00:11:25,467
[sighs] That's gonna be
really hard for me.
301
00:11:25,510 --> 00:11:27,295
That's what he said.
302
00:11:27,338 --> 00:11:28,905
[both laugh]
303
00:11:28,949 --> 00:11:30,733
That's-that's really good.
304
00:11:30,777 --> 00:11:31,691
Thank you. I'm sorry.
305
00:11:31,734 --> 00:11:33,910
It just slipped out.
306
00:11:33,954 --> 00:11:35,259
-That's what he said.
-[both laughing]
307
00:11:35,303 --> 00:11:37,653
Shh! Shh.
308
00:11:37,697 --> 00:11:38,741
Sorry.
309
00:11:40,134 --> 00:11:41,091
Sorry.
310
00:11:41,135 --> 00:11:42,571
Help!
311
00:11:42,614 --> 00:11:44,704
Oh, God, help.
312
00:11:44,747 --> 00:11:46,183
-WOMAN: Hello?
-Hello!
313
00:11:46,227 --> 00:11:48,795
-Hello?
-H-Hello!
314
00:11:48,838 --> 00:11:51,362
-Hello...
-W-W-Waitress?
315
00:11:51,406 --> 00:11:53,756
Oh... my God.
316
00:11:53,800 --> 00:11:55,845
What the hell
are you doing out here?
317
00:11:55,889 --> 00:11:59,501
What are you doing out here
with a toiletry bag?
318
00:11:59,544 --> 00:12:01,633
Are you gonna brush your teeth
in a stream or something?
319
00:12:01,677 --> 00:12:04,375
No. I was gonna shave my legs.
320
00:12:04,419 --> 00:12:06,464
Ew. Gross.
321
00:12:06,508 --> 00:12:09,772
Um, hey, can you help a girl out
and then get me of this bog?
322
00:12:09,816 --> 00:12:11,121
Are you stuck in there?
323
00:12:11,165 --> 00:12:12,775
Yeah.
324
00:12:12,819 --> 00:12:14,472
-[both laugh]
-I know.
325
00:12:14,516 --> 00:12:15,996
I also seem to be sinking.
326
00:12:16,039 --> 00:12:17,214
-And, uh... I know.
-Uh-oh.
327
00:12:17,258 --> 00:12:18,650
And I-I-I have a date tonight
328
00:12:18,694 --> 00:12:19,956
with a real hot Irish doctor.
329
00:12:20,000 --> 00:12:21,392
Is he meeting you here, or...?
330
00:12:23,264 --> 00:12:25,788
You got me. No, no.
He's meeting me out there.
331
00:12:25,832 --> 00:12:27,094
-I bet.
-So that's why I want
332
00:12:27,137 --> 00:12:28,878
to get out of here.
I also don't want to die,
333
00:12:28,922 --> 00:12:30,358
but, either way, could you p--
just give me a big tug,
334
00:12:30,401 --> 00:12:31,838
and I bet you could get me out.
335
00:12:31,881 --> 00:12:34,014
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Here, here.
I got you. Let me just...
336
00:12:34,057 --> 00:12:36,538
-[sighs] You're a livesa...
-Grab my hand, and I'll-- Psych!
337
00:12:38,018 --> 00:12:40,411
-[laughs]
-"Psych"?
338
00:12:40,455 --> 00:12:43,501
-Your face. I'm kidding.
No, I got you. -Okay.
339
00:12:43,545 --> 00:12:45,329
-Psych! [laughing]
-Oh...
340
00:12:45,373 --> 00:12:46,853
Two times.
341
00:12:46,896 --> 00:12:49,290
-I will get you.
-Hey, uh, well, just quick tip
342
00:12:49,333 --> 00:12:51,161
for you, nobody does "psych"
anymore. It's kind of dumb.
343
00:12:51,205 --> 00:12:52,728
-Oh, do they not?
-Nah, it's not funny, it's dumb.
344
00:12:52,772 --> 00:12:54,861
-I feel like it's classic.
I-I got you. -Oh, you got me.
345
00:12:54,904 --> 00:12:56,427
-You got me.
I got you, and you got me. -I got you.
346
00:12:56,471 --> 00:12:57,777
Okay.
347
00:12:57,820 --> 00:12:59,517
It's fun.
All right, here we go. Psych!
348
00:12:59,561 --> 00:13:01,737
Oh, my God. Just--
Come on. Knock it off.
349
00:13:01,781 --> 00:13:03,565
Cut the shit.
Get me out of here.
350
00:13:03,608 --> 00:13:05,175
I will, I will, I will.
All you have to do is one thing.
351
00:13:05,219 --> 00:13:07,090
Yes. Great. What?
352
00:13:07,134 --> 00:13:09,310
Say my name.
353
00:13:09,353 --> 00:13:11,573
Hmm?
354
00:13:11,616 --> 00:13:14,228
Just say my name. What is it?
355
00:13:16,796 --> 00:13:19,711
Oh, o... kay, yeah.
356
00:13:19,755 --> 00:13:21,844
Yeah, yeah.
357
00:13:21,888 --> 00:13:23,150
-It's-- That's easy.
-Okay.
358
00:13:23,193 --> 00:13:25,108
Just, just give me,
give me a second.
359
00:13:25,152 --> 00:13:27,197
GUS:
Well, Mac, this is it.
360
00:13:27,241 --> 00:13:29,547
The end of a typical day
in my life.
361
00:13:29,591 --> 00:13:31,636
It's modest, pious,
362
00:13:31,680 --> 00:13:33,160
and somewhat dull,
363
00:13:33,203 --> 00:13:36,554
but I can't imagine my life
any other way. [chuckles]
364
00:13:36,598 --> 00:13:38,600
-What do you think?
-Gus,
365
00:13:38,643 --> 00:13:40,689
knowing that there's
somebody here
366
00:13:40,732 --> 00:13:44,388
that's exactly like me
gives me the courage
367
00:13:44,432 --> 00:13:47,435
to-to want to do it, too,
so tomorrow
368
00:13:47,478 --> 00:13:49,698
I am going to join the seminary.
369
00:13:49,741 --> 00:13:52,222
Grand! I am so happy for you.
370
00:13:52,266 --> 00:13:55,573
And I must admit,
I'm happy for myself, too.
371
00:13:55,617 --> 00:13:56,966
Having someone here
372
00:13:57,010 --> 00:13:59,055
who knows how I feel
will help keep me
373
00:13:59,099 --> 00:14:01,101
-on the straight and the narrow.
-Yes.
374
00:14:01,144 --> 00:14:03,233
And no matter how strong
those urges get,
375
00:14:03,277 --> 00:14:05,105
and they will be strong,
376
00:14:05,148 --> 00:14:06,497
we must never, ever
give in to them
377
00:14:06,541 --> 00:14:07,934
because we would get
kicked out of the Church.
378
00:14:07,977 --> 00:14:09,283
-Good, good.
-Yes.
379
00:14:09,326 --> 00:14:11,024
And we'll never, ever
leave each other alone
380
00:14:11,067 --> 00:14:12,764
in the room with the wee lads.
381
00:14:12,808 --> 00:14:15,071
Yes, and I also think...
382
00:14:15,115 --> 00:14:16,290
Wait, what?
383
00:14:16,333 --> 00:14:18,509
Or the wee lasses,
whatever you're into.
384
00:14:18,553 --> 00:14:20,294
There's no judgment here.
385
00:14:20,337 --> 00:14:22,731
And, of course, you know,
if you do slip up,
386
00:14:22,774 --> 00:14:25,081
you'll go to a new parish,
they sort the family out,
387
00:14:25,125 --> 00:14:27,214
have some chats, perhaps
some money changes hands,
388
00:14:27,257 --> 00:14:29,085
perhaps not. No harm, no foul.
389
00:14:29,129 --> 00:14:31,044
You come back, you're grand.
390
00:14:31,087 --> 00:14:32,959
Uh...
391
00:14:33,002 --> 00:14:35,352
Yeah, I'm gay.
What are you talking about?
392
00:14:37,964 --> 00:14:40,705
Oh...
393
00:14:40,749 --> 00:14:42,751
No. I'm gay. That's it.
394
00:14:42,794 --> 00:14:44,405
I'm a gay man.
395
00:14:44,448 --> 00:14:48,104
I'm a gay man who has trouble
controlling his...
396
00:14:48,148 --> 00:14:50,628
urges with other
397
00:14:50,672 --> 00:14:52,761
gay adult men,
398
00:14:52,804 --> 00:14:54,894
and that's the end of it.
399
00:14:57,113 --> 00:14:58,985
[sighs] Goddamn it.
400
00:15:01,291 --> 00:15:02,727
[knocking]
401
00:15:04,599 --> 00:15:07,384
Ah, welcome, welcome.
Come in, come in.
402
00:15:07,428 --> 00:15:09,734
-You're leaving us waiting
out there forever. -No, no, no. Come on in.
403
00:15:09,778 --> 00:15:12,476
Welcome, welcome.
Shirley, let me take your coat.
404
00:15:12,520 --> 00:15:14,826
Frank, his name is Shelley,
okay? You know this.
405
00:15:14,870 --> 00:15:16,437
And you couldn't take
his coat if you tried, dude,
406
00:15:16,480 --> 00:15:17,655
'cause it's buttoned
to his pants
407
00:15:17,699 --> 00:15:18,961
in traditional Irish style.
408
00:15:19,005 --> 00:15:21,616
I'm not wearing a coat.
409
00:15:21,659 --> 00:15:23,705
Right, he's not even
wearing a coat, man.
410
00:15:23,748 --> 00:15:25,750
All right, look, we brought
you this. We made it ourselves,
411
00:15:25,794 --> 00:15:27,361
-with love.
-Mm.
412
00:15:27,404 --> 00:15:29,972
You made cheese together?
413
00:15:30,016 --> 00:15:31,974
Uh, well, personally,
414
00:15:32,018 --> 00:15:34,237
I think cheese should be
sprayed out of a can,
415
00:15:34,281 --> 00:15:35,804
but to each his own.
416
00:15:35,847 --> 00:15:37,458
Yeah, well, normally
I would agree with you, Frank,
417
00:15:37,501 --> 00:15:39,416
but Shelley's really opened
my eyes to a whole new world.
418
00:15:39,460 --> 00:15:42,028
Oh, yeah? Well, that can
be very blinding.
419
00:15:42,071 --> 00:15:44,073
But I'm sure,
by the end of the evening,
420
00:15:44,117 --> 00:15:46,467
we'll all be seeing clear.
421
00:15:46,510 --> 00:15:49,122
Let's sit down.
422
00:15:49,165 --> 00:15:51,907
I don't like how you said that.
I don't like how he said that.
423
00:15:51,951 --> 00:15:53,387
-Ah, yeah.
-Wow.
424
00:15:53,430 --> 00:15:54,997
-Well, come on in.
-Cool.
425
00:15:55,041 --> 00:15:56,477
-Wow. Okay.
-Yeah. -Very nice.
426
00:15:56,520 --> 00:15:59,001
Put it right there.
Welcome. Sit down there.
427
00:15:59,045 --> 00:16:00,698
-Went all out, huh?
-Shirley, you over there.
428
00:16:00,742 --> 00:16:02,526
-Charlie, there.
-Here?
429
00:16:02,570 --> 00:16:04,006
Welcome,
and thank you all for coming.
430
00:16:04,050 --> 00:16:06,617
You know, it's been
a very trying time
431
00:16:06,661 --> 00:16:09,969
with Charlie finding
his biological father,
432
00:16:10,012 --> 00:16:11,883
who abandoned him
when he was a child, by the way.
433
00:16:11,927 --> 00:16:14,756
Not judging, just the facts.
434
00:16:14,799 --> 00:16:16,540
Okay, I can't really read the
tone of this dinner, you know?
435
00:16:16,584 --> 00:16:17,715
It's very confusing.
You're being mean,
436
00:16:17,759 --> 00:16:18,890
you're being nice.
What are you doing?
437
00:16:18,934 --> 00:16:21,023
No, no, I-I want everybody
to be happy.
438
00:16:21,067 --> 00:16:23,634
In fact, in the spirit of that,
I bought everybody a gift.
439
00:16:23,678 --> 00:16:26,768
So, just look under
your seats, and you'll see
440
00:16:26,811 --> 00:16:29,075
a nice gift for you.
Uh, Shelley, you go first.
441
00:16:29,118 --> 00:16:31,251
-Oh.
-Oh, wow.
442
00:16:31,294 --> 00:16:32,774
-Yeah.
-Okay.
443
00:16:32,817 --> 00:16:34,819
Very nice.
444
00:16:36,865 --> 00:16:38,214
Swim goggles?
445
00:16:38,258 --> 00:16:40,173
Yeah, they're good ones, too.
446
00:16:40,216 --> 00:16:42,740
They'll protect your eyes
from any chlorine
447
00:16:42,784 --> 00:16:45,004
or oils or any other hot liquid
448
00:16:45,047 --> 00:16:47,006
that might come in contact
with your face.
449
00:16:47,049 --> 00:16:48,746
That's, that's very kind
of you, Frank, yeah, thanks.
450
00:16:48,790 --> 00:16:50,574
Yeah, Frank, I'm not seeing
a present for me.
451
00:16:50,618 --> 00:16:52,054
No, no, no. [stammers]
452
00:16:52,098 --> 00:16:53,708
Just the one gift,
just for Shelley.
453
00:16:53,751 --> 00:16:56,058
Eat up. Yeah. [stammers]
454
00:16:56,102 --> 00:16:58,234
Eat it while it's hot. It's, uh,
455
00:16:58,278 --> 00:17:00,410
it's, uh, butternut squash soup.
456
00:17:00,454 --> 00:17:02,151
And for the special guest,
457
00:17:02,195 --> 00:17:03,892
there's a couple meatballs
in there.
458
00:17:03,935 --> 00:17:05,763
DENNIS:
Didn't put any goddamn meatballs in that soup.
459
00:17:05,807 --> 00:17:08,462
-Do you hear something?
-Yeah.
460
00:17:08,505 --> 00:17:11,334
Oh, it's probably your stomach
grumbling from hunger.
461
00:17:11,378 --> 00:17:13,032
Eat up before they get cold.
462
00:17:13,075 --> 00:17:14,468
Oh, why don't I get
any meatballs?
463
00:17:14,511 --> 00:17:17,079
Now, just for the special guest.
Eat up, Shel.
464
00:17:17,123 --> 00:17:19,516
Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait,
wait, wait. Don't eat that.
465
00:17:21,170 --> 00:17:22,302
What's in the soup, Frank?
466
00:17:23,738 --> 00:17:26,306
[stammers] Just butternut
squash. A simple soup.
467
00:17:26,349 --> 00:17:27,655
Are the meatballs turds?
468
00:17:27,698 --> 00:17:31,311
What? No, no, they're
homemade meatballs.
469
00:17:31,354 --> 00:17:33,661
Shelley, eat 'em up
before they get cold.
470
00:17:33,704 --> 00:17:35,489
-Go on. Go on.
-No, don't-don't-don't eat them.
471
00:17:35,532 --> 00:17:38,622
-Go on, Shelley.
-Frank, you eat a meatball.
472
00:17:38,666 --> 00:17:41,538
You want me to eat the meatball?
473
00:17:41,582 --> 00:17:43,366
Yeah, just eat a meatball.
Eat one.
474
00:17:46,935 --> 00:17:47,936
All right.
475
00:17:47,979 --> 00:17:49,459
Grab a meatball, scoop it out.
476
00:18:04,126 --> 00:18:07,216
[muffled, indistinct talking]
477
00:18:07,260 --> 00:18:08,652
[muffled]:
Delicious.
478
00:18:08,696 --> 00:18:10,872
Now, Shelley,
have, have a meatball.
479
00:18:10,915 --> 00:18:12,091
CHARLIE:
No, no, no, no.
480
00:18:12,134 --> 00:18:13,701
No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
481
00:18:13,744 --> 00:18:14,876
No, Shelley doesn't
want one yet.
482
00:18:14,919 --> 00:18:16,051
-Chew it. Chew it.
-[grunts]
483
00:18:16,095 --> 00:18:17,400
And then swallow it.
484
00:18:21,100 --> 00:18:22,275
Chew it up.
485
00:18:26,061 --> 00:18:28,803
-[retches]
-Oh! I knew it!
486
00:18:28,846 --> 00:18:30,196
I knew it, Frank!
487
00:18:30,239 --> 00:18:31,806
You're not trying to bring us
closer together,
488
00:18:31,849 --> 00:18:33,155
you're trying to drive us apart!
489
00:18:33,199 --> 00:18:34,374
I knew you couldn't host
a dinner without a motive.
490
00:18:34,417 --> 00:18:35,549
You just can't do it.
491
00:18:35,592 --> 00:18:38,117
All right, you got me. Okay?
492
00:18:38,160 --> 00:18:41,250
I'm tired of you hanging out
with him the whole vacation.
493
00:18:41,294 --> 00:18:42,382
I mean, all right, go ahead,
494
00:18:42,425 --> 00:18:43,470
go, have your fun,
495
00:18:43,513 --> 00:18:45,080
but when you get back to Philly,
496
00:18:45,124 --> 00:18:47,430
I don't want to even hear
the name Shelley.
497
00:18:47,474 --> 00:18:49,519
Well, I'm not coming back
to Philly, Frank!
498
00:18:49,563 --> 00:18:51,782
[Dennis gasps]
499
00:18:51,826 --> 00:18:53,610
I think there's another man
in this room.
500
00:18:53,654 --> 00:18:55,612
Never mind him.
What'd you say, Charlie?
501
00:18:55,656 --> 00:18:57,310
I said I'm not coming back,
Frank. I want to stay here.
502
00:18:57,353 --> 00:18:58,876
I'm gonna stay here,
503
00:18:58,920 --> 00:19:00,313
and I'm gonna work
in my dad's shop with him,
504
00:19:00,356 --> 00:19:01,923
if-if that's all right with you.
505
00:19:01,966 --> 00:19:04,055
Oh, that would make me
the happiest man in the world.
506
00:19:04,099 --> 00:19:06,667
Well, you do that, and...
don't...
507
00:19:06,710 --> 00:19:09,148
don't even think of coming back
because we're finished.
508
00:19:09,191 --> 00:19:10,366
That's the end of it.
509
00:19:10,410 --> 00:19:12,194
All right, Frank,
if that's how you feel,
510
00:19:12,238 --> 00:19:13,369
we'll get out of your hair.
Come on, Dad.
511
00:19:13,413 --> 00:19:14,805
I'm sorry about this.
512
00:19:16,764 --> 00:19:18,461
Thanks for the goggles, Frank.
513
00:19:22,117 --> 00:19:23,553
[groans]
514
00:19:23,597 --> 00:19:25,686
Frank! What the hell was that?!
515
00:19:25,729 --> 00:19:28,297
Charlie picked Shelley.
516
00:19:28,341 --> 00:19:31,387
I... I'm talking about
the turd soup, man.
517
00:19:31,431 --> 00:19:32,910
You know,
I'm starting to get caught up
518
00:19:32,954 --> 00:19:34,390
in this whole
father-son thing, too,
519
00:19:34,434 --> 00:19:36,871
but then you put a-a turd
in your mouth. I mean, my God.
520
00:19:36,914 --> 00:19:39,178
He had me up against the wall.
What was I supposed to do?
521
00:19:39,221 --> 00:19:41,049
Not eat a poopy.
522
00:19:43,573 --> 00:19:46,315
[groans] Clementine? Valentine?
523
00:19:46,359 --> 00:19:48,230
Diana? Denise?
524
00:19:48,274 --> 00:19:49,362
Dennis? [sputters] Dane?
525
00:19:49,405 --> 00:19:51,668
Goddamn it. [whimpers]
526
00:19:51,712 --> 00:19:53,279
I've named every name
in the entire world.
527
00:19:53,322 --> 00:19:55,194
How have I not gotten it yet?
528
00:19:55,237 --> 00:19:57,979
Oh, no, no, no. You-you got it
a while back. It's just...
529
00:19:58,022 --> 00:20:00,547
I'm really enjoying
watching you struggle.
530
00:20:00,590 --> 00:20:02,853
[whimpers] You drunk bitch!
531
00:20:02,897 --> 00:20:03,811
[groans]
532
00:20:05,900 --> 00:20:07,467
Okay.
533
00:20:07,510 --> 00:20:08,859
I'm gonna save you.
534
00:20:08,903 --> 00:20:10,774
Unlike you,
535
00:20:10,818 --> 00:20:13,299
I'm not a psychopath.
536
00:20:13,342 --> 00:20:15,431
Oh, ugh, God. Okay.
537
00:20:15,475 --> 00:20:18,304
[grunting]
538
00:20:18,347 --> 00:20:21,263
-Okay. Oh... Oh, God.
-[sputtering]
539
00:20:21,307 --> 00:20:22,569
Uh-oh, uh-oh. Now I'm in it.
540
00:20:22,612 --> 00:20:26,050
Hold on. No. Oh.
Let go. No, let go!
541
00:20:26,094 --> 00:20:27,530
-Yes, you're doing it.
-No, you're pulling me in.
542
00:20:27,574 --> 00:20:28,792
-Yes.
-What are you doing?
543
00:20:28,836 --> 00:20:30,490
-No, no, no, no. No, no, no, no.
-Thank you!
544
00:20:30,533 --> 00:20:31,882
-It's working. You're doing it.
-You're pushing me under.
545
00:20:31,926 --> 00:20:33,493
-You're doing it.
-Let me out.
546
00:20:33,536 --> 00:20:36,191
-Oh, you are my hero.
-My legs are stuck.
547
00:20:36,235 --> 00:20:39,020
-Oh, yes!
-Wait!
548
00:20:39,063 --> 00:20:41,414
-Wait, wait, now I'm stuck.
-You're stuck?
549
00:20:41,457 --> 00:20:43,590
I would suggest you don't move
'cause you're just
550
00:20:43,633 --> 00:20:45,069
-gonna sink.
-Help me out.
551
00:20:45,113 --> 00:20:46,680
Oh, no, I'm not gonna do that
'cause I got a date,
552
00:20:46,723 --> 00:20:48,290
-but I'll come back.
-No, no, no.
553
00:20:48,334 --> 00:20:49,770
-You can't leave me here.
-Great job!
554
00:20:49,813 --> 00:20:50,945
Oh, you dirty bitch.
555
00:20:50,988 --> 00:20:52,860
I'm gonna get out,
I'm gonna kill you.
556
00:20:52,903 --> 00:20:54,209
-I'll be back after my date.
-I'll kill you.
557
00:20:54,253 --> 00:20:55,776
Thank you so much.
558
00:20:55,819 --> 00:20:57,604
[whimpers] Help!
559
00:21:00,041 --> 00:21:02,522
I'm so sorry about Frank. I...
560
00:21:02,565 --> 00:21:03,914
I can't believe he tried
to feed you shit.
561
00:21:03,958 --> 00:21:05,046
I'll never forgive him for that.
562
00:21:05,089 --> 00:21:08,310
Ah, Charlie,
it's good to forgive.
563
00:21:08,354 --> 00:21:10,051
You know, a true Kelly
564
00:21:10,094 --> 00:21:12,314
always puts things right
with the men in his life.
565
00:21:12,358 --> 00:21:14,795
Yeah.
566
00:21:14,838 --> 00:21:16,797
Not so much the women.
567
00:21:16,840 --> 00:21:20,017
Thus, the curse of the banshees.
568
00:21:20,061 --> 00:21:21,715
Right.
569
00:21:21,758 --> 00:21:24,021
Help! Help! Help! Help!
570
00:21:24,065 --> 00:21:26,241
Help!
571
00:21:26,285 --> 00:21:28,199
DEE [distant]:
Help!
572
00:21:28,243 --> 00:21:29,288
What is that?
573
00:21:29,331 --> 00:21:31,638
[indistinct screaming]
574
00:21:31,681 --> 00:21:33,944
Are you seeing that?
What is that?
575
00:21:33,988 --> 00:21:36,991
[indistinct screaming continues]
576
00:21:37,034 --> 00:21:38,427
[gasps]
577
00:21:48,785 --> 00:21:50,352
What was that?
578
00:21:50,396 --> 00:21:52,398
A banshee.
579
00:21:52,441 --> 00:21:55,009
[Bernard Herrmann's "Prelude"
from Psychoplaying]
580
00:21:57,359 --> 00:21:59,361
♪
581
00:22:33,395 --> 00:22:36,572
[trio chanting backwards]
582
00:22:44,580 --> 00:22:45,929
[SCREECHES][NARRATOR READING]
583
00:22:45,973 --> 00:22:47,496
I want to go
somewhere exotic.
584
00:22:47,540 --> 00:22:48,932
[LAUGHS] Ireland, baby!
585
00:22:48,976 --> 00:22:50,238
NARRATOR: An all new season.
586
00:22:50,281 --> 00:22:52,414
Do you mind if I go sample
some of your jellies?
587
00:22:52,458 --> 00:22:54,111
No, help yourself.Delightful.
588
00:22:54,808 --> 00:22:56,331
[GAGGING]
589
00:22:56,375 --> 00:22:57,637
A banquet...What?
590
00:22:57,680 --> 00:22:58,725
[GAGGING]Ew.
591
00:22:58,768 --> 00:23:00,291
...of humiliation...[ALL EXCLAIMING]
592
00:23:01,292 --> 00:23:02,381
...and murder.Wait, what?
593
00:23:02,424 --> 00:23:04,121
[ALL SCREAMING]
594
00:23:04,165 --> 00:23:06,646
All right. This is why
Irish people hate Americans.
595
00:23:06,689 --> 00:23:10,650
[NARRATOR READING]
596
00:23:10,693 --> 00:23:13,392
[SHEEP BLEATING]
597
00:23:14,784 --> 00:23:15,829
No one has seen
a stolen food truck, would ya?
598
00:23:15,872 --> 00:23:17,961
Um... no.
599
00:23:18,005 --> 00:23:19,920
Someone stole a truck.
Broad daylight.
600
00:23:19,963 --> 00:23:21,400
MAN: Put your seatbelt on.Seatbelt?
601
00:23:21,443 --> 00:23:23,880
Put your seatbelt on
or we're not leaving.Jeez!
602
00:23:23,924 --> 00:23:25,708
MAN: Your good thieves.
Best in town.
603
00:23:25,752 --> 00:23:26,796
Thank you.
604
00:23:26,840 --> 00:23:27,971
It is a small town.
605
00:23:29,233 --> 00:23:32,106
It is hard to be a warrior
with dignity.
606
00:23:32,149 --> 00:23:43,422
[SCREAMS] [COUGHS]
607
00:23:44,074 --> 00:23:45,249
Brace yourselves.
608
00:23:45,293 --> 00:23:46,729
Give me your best arguments.Sure.
609
00:23:46,773 --> 00:23:48,252
WOMAN: Pop culture
is a religion.
610
00:23:48,296 --> 00:23:49,558
Fire. [CHUCKLES]
611
00:23:49,602 --> 00:23:51,734
You're in an era
where we worship celebrity.
612
00:23:51,778 --> 00:23:52,866
Oh, and also...
613
00:23:52,909 --> 00:23:54,215
Susie, shh!
614
00:23:54,258 --> 00:23:56,435
I don't listen to people,
I listen to God.
615
00:23:56,478 --> 00:23:57,871
It's constitutionally
guaranteed.
616
00:23:59,699 --> 00:24:01,396
Oh, terrible.
617
00:24:01,440 --> 00:24:03,529
I'm here
to present the future.
618
00:24:03,572 --> 00:24:05,922
I posted that black square,
I deleted that black square,
619
00:24:05,966 --> 00:24:07,097
I reposted the black square,
620
00:24:07,141 --> 00:24:08,447
and then I redeleted
the black square.
621
00:24:08,497 --> 00:24:13,047
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