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["Home For The Holidays" playing]
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♪ Oh there's no place like home
For the holidays ♪
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♪ 'Cause no matter
How far away you roam ♪
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-[woman] Merry Christmas.
-Merry Christmas.
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[on radio] ♪ …Pine for the sunshine
Of a friendly gaze ♪
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♪ For the holidays, you can't beat home
Sweet home ♪
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[scoffs]
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[chattering]
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[male agent] And our kitchen connects to
a little dining room right over there.
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00:01:06,541 --> 00:01:08,666
Now you mentioned you wanted
an open concept.
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00:01:08,750 --> 00:01:11,833
-Cool, I am obsessed with open concept.
-Yes. [chuckles]
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Open is my favorite concept.
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Well, here they are,
Pam and Jeff McKenzie, the owners.
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I was just telling the Breckins
that they could probably knock down
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some of these walls
and make it one, big, open space.
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-Not mad at that. [laughs]
-Yes.
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00:01:25,458 --> 00:01:27,208
Well, you just wanna be careful,
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'cause if those are load-baring walls
and you knock one down,
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the whole place could collapse.
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00:01:31,708 --> 00:01:32,916
-Mmm. Bummer.
-Really?
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00:01:33,000 --> 00:01:36,000
Um, it's not a Jenga tower, Jeff.
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00:01:37,250 --> 00:01:39,458
[laughing] It's not a Jenga tower, Jeff.
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00:01:40,458 --> 00:01:43,583
And Pam is a teacher
at Winnetka Elementary.
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00:01:43,666 --> 00:01:46,291
Am I right? Yes.
The schools here are amazing.
26
00:01:47,083 --> 00:01:48,458
Correct, Jeff?
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00:01:48,541 --> 00:01:53,791
Um, yeah. Some of the best in the state.
They are totally lit.
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00:01:54,291 --> 00:01:55,500
-Aw.
-Oh. [chuckles]
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00:01:55,583 --> 00:01:58,541
Especially since they put in
new metal detectors.
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00:01:59,166 --> 00:02:00,666
-Oh.
-Okay.
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00:02:00,750 --> 00:02:02,750
Jeff. What are you doing?
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00:02:02,833 --> 00:02:04,208
Uh, Jeff, uh,
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00:02:04,291 --> 00:02:07,041
could you go get some more
bottled water to everyone.
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00:02:07,125 --> 00:02:08,333
Yep.
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00:02:11,208 --> 00:02:12,875
Can you get some more bottled water?
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00:02:12,958 --> 00:02:14,666
Ooh. Mm-hmm. Yep.
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00:02:15,458 --> 00:02:17,375
[scoffs] Jeff.
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00:02:17,458 --> 00:02:21,541
-[boy] Mum, I really have to pee.
-I cannot believe you need to go again.
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00:02:21,625 --> 00:02:24,125
I told you to use the restroom
in the coffee shop.
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00:02:24,208 --> 00:02:27,041
After Uncle Stu had been in there? Really?
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00:02:27,125 --> 00:02:29,708
Did you see how many deviled eggs
he had for lunch?
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00:02:29,791 --> 00:02:31,500
Oh, goodness. Um.
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00:02:31,583 --> 00:02:33,500
You'll just have to wait till we get home.
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00:02:33,583 --> 00:02:35,750
You sure about that? Do the maths.
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00:02:35,833 --> 00:02:40,666
Six soda refills into one, tiny,
ten-year-old's bladder does not go.
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I'm-- [sighs]
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[groaning]
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00:02:44,041 --> 00:02:45,041
[sighs]
49
00:02:47,500 --> 00:02:50,333
-Okay. I've got an idea.
-What?
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00:02:50,416 --> 00:02:52,333
You're gonna have to pretend with Mummy.
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00:02:52,416 --> 00:02:55,041
We're gonna have to pretend
we're going to buy a house.
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00:02:56,708 --> 00:02:58,416
[toilet flushes]
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00:03:02,833 --> 00:03:04,833
Ooh! Can I get one of those?
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00:03:04,916 --> 00:03:07,041
Uh, that might be a question
for your parents,
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00:03:07,125 --> 00:03:09,125
just 'cause there's a lot of sugar
in them, so…
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00:03:09,208 --> 00:03:10,208
Oh. Fine.
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00:03:10,958 --> 00:03:14,416
Wow, you're so tall.
You almost look like Frankenstein.
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00:03:15,000 --> 00:03:19,125
Oh, you mean Frankenstein's monster.
Frankenstein is the doctor, FYI.
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00:03:19,625 --> 00:03:20,833
[grunts]
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00:03:20,916 --> 00:03:23,833
Uh. Cool dolls.
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00:03:23,916 --> 00:03:26,541
[chuckles] Well, they're not mine.
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00:03:26,625 --> 00:03:28,416
Um. They belonged to my mother.
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00:03:29,583 --> 00:03:30,416
Sure they did.
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00:03:31,375 --> 00:03:33,958
Oh! What's wrong with this one?
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00:03:34,750 --> 00:03:36,000
Yeah, I don't know.
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00:03:36,083 --> 00:03:40,750
But they're very delicate, so why don't
we just leave them right there.
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00:03:41,250 --> 00:03:43,500
Oh. Little boy doesn't wanna share
his dolly?
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00:03:44,458 --> 00:03:45,375
Excuse me?
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00:03:45,458 --> 00:03:47,916
Ah, I get it. You're one of those guys.
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00:03:48,666 --> 00:03:50,916
-What do you mean?
-I don't know. You tell me.
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00:03:51,625 --> 00:03:53,500
-There you are.
-Oh! Hi, Mom.
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00:03:53,583 --> 00:03:55,625
Doesn't he look like Frankenstein to you?
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00:03:56,333 --> 00:03:59,166
I-- Max. I am so sorry.
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00:03:59,250 --> 00:04:01,625
No, he doesn't look like Frankenstein.
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00:04:01,708 --> 00:04:03,750
He looks like Frankenstein's monster.
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00:04:03,833 --> 00:04:05,666
I'm sorry. Has he been bothering you?
77
00:04:05,750 --> 00:04:07,541
No. He's a delight.
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00:04:08,083 --> 00:04:09,875
Aw, well, he has his moments.
79
00:04:09,958 --> 00:04:12,208
Ooh! Is that a Schneider Kinder?
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00:04:12,291 --> 00:04:15,791
I saw these on Treasure Trunk ,
that antiques show. I love that show.
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00:04:16,916 --> 00:04:21,583
There was this elderly lady who'd bought
one at a garage sale for about $10.
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00:04:21,666 --> 00:04:24,208
And then it ended up
going for about $5,000.
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00:04:24,291 --> 00:04:28,083
Wow, 5,000 bucks
for an ugly, little porcelain kid.
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00:04:28,625 --> 00:04:31,208
I didn't get half that
for selling my real kids.
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[groans]
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[chuckles]
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00:04:34,416 --> 00:04:35,416
Yeah?
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00:04:35,500 --> 00:04:37,541
-I think we should go home.
-Oh, yay.
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00:04:37,625 --> 00:04:42,458
I can't wait to go home and share
one toilet with nine bloomin' cousins.
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00:04:42,541 --> 00:04:45,625
Maxwell Johan Mercer.
What is with you today, hmm?
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00:04:45,708 --> 00:04:47,916
Carol Ellen Mercer, take a guess?
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00:04:48,000 --> 00:04:51,833
You know what? How's about we just spend
Christmas in Tokyo without you?
93
00:04:51,916 --> 00:04:54,291
-Great idea.
-[Carol] I'll leave Grammy with you.
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00:04:54,375 --> 00:04:56,833
-[Max] Oh, yes, Grammy.
-[Carol] Then you'll have to go to bed
95
00:04:56,916 --> 00:04:59,208
at 6:00 p.m. every evening
and help her with her bath.
96
00:04:59,291 --> 00:05:01,791
Oh, that sounds great. Where do I sign up?
97
00:05:02,875 --> 00:05:04,916
No McDonald's for you on the way home.
98
00:05:05,000 --> 00:05:06,375
What? Mum.
99
00:05:07,041 --> 00:05:09,416
You can't promise
a kid McDonald's and not deliver.
100
00:05:09,500 --> 00:05:10,916
Ooh.
101
00:05:11,000 --> 00:05:12,500
What a McShame.
102
00:05:14,708 --> 00:05:15,708
[sighs]
103
00:05:17,083 --> 00:05:18,291
[drink lid pops]
104
00:05:21,916 --> 00:05:24,000
Ooh. That's good.
105
00:05:26,375 --> 00:05:28,958
-[grunts]
-Darling, home. Car. Now. Come on.
106
00:05:41,750 --> 00:05:44,583
I'm sorry I lashed out at you,
but I just don't see why
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00:05:44,666 --> 00:05:47,750
we have to share our house
with every stupid relative we have.
108
00:05:47,833 --> 00:05:49,541
I mean, it's Christmas.
109
00:05:49,625 --> 00:05:52,875
Exactly, and Christmas
is all about spending time with family.
110
00:05:53,916 --> 00:05:57,458
Even if everything they do
makes you anxious or furious and insane.
111
00:05:58,708 --> 00:06:00,791
Because that is the meaning of Christmas.
112
00:06:01,375 --> 00:06:02,208
[sighs]
113
00:06:03,000 --> 00:06:04,083
[chuckles]
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00:06:08,416 --> 00:06:10,833
All right, McKenzies.
We have chummed the--
115
00:06:11,333 --> 00:06:14,958
Chummed the waters. And I think
we've gotten a couple of nibbles.
116
00:06:15,041 --> 00:06:17,416
Now I know you guys wanna sell
as soon as possible,
117
00:06:17,500 --> 00:06:19,750
but I don't think
we're gonna get any major bites
118
00:06:19,833 --> 00:06:21,333
until after the holiday season.
119
00:06:22,250 --> 00:06:23,250
I don't know.
120
00:06:23,333 --> 00:06:27,458
The guy Jeff saw looking through my
underwear drawer seemed interested, no?
121
00:06:28,208 --> 00:06:31,750
Yes, but I don't think
in buying the house. But don't worry.
122
00:06:31,833 --> 00:06:35,000
The Breckins are circling the boat,
so I'll stay on top of them.
123
00:06:35,541 --> 00:06:36,875
[vehicle honks, laughing]
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00:06:37,416 --> 00:06:38,583
The kids are home.
125
00:06:39,208 --> 00:06:41,791
What's happening?
Why are we scared of the kids?
126
00:06:41,875 --> 00:06:43,708
We haven't told them
we're selling the house.
127
00:06:47,125 --> 00:06:48,458
Hey!
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00:06:49,041 --> 00:06:49,958
Oh, hi.
129
00:06:50,583 --> 00:06:53,416
Hi, guys. I thought you were gonna call
after the movie was over.
130
00:06:53,500 --> 00:06:55,625
Oh, no, we just took an Uber.
131
00:06:58,916 --> 00:07:00,458
-You good?
-Oh, yeah.
132
00:07:01,000 --> 00:07:02,916
Yeah, I'm doing some thinking, you know?
133
00:07:03,000 --> 00:07:05,416
This is a very good spot for thinking.
134
00:07:07,000 --> 00:07:08,000
Hmm.
135
00:07:08,916 --> 00:07:10,916
-Mm-hmm.
-Mm-hmm.
136
00:07:11,541 --> 00:07:13,791
-I love this space.
-Oh.
137
00:07:14,291 --> 00:07:15,416
Who are you?
138
00:07:16,416 --> 00:07:20,166
-I'm, uh--
-This is Gavin. And he is, um--
139
00:07:20,250 --> 00:07:21,833
Your personal trainer. That-- Yes.
140
00:07:21,916 --> 00:07:25,708
-I'm gonna be training your flabby dad.
-Hmm?
141
00:07:26,291 --> 00:07:27,125
Balloons?
142
00:07:27,208 --> 00:07:30,666
These are a gesture to say congratulations
for taking your first step.
143
00:07:30,750 --> 00:07:33,041
Congratulations, man.
You got to take care of yourself.
144
00:07:33,125 --> 00:07:35,583
We're gonna get rid of
that jelly belly, Dad. Am I right?
145
00:07:35,666 --> 00:07:37,333
Get rid of the jelly belly.
146
00:07:37,416 --> 00:07:40,000
We're gonna put some muscle
on that flat, pancake butt.
147
00:07:40,083 --> 00:07:41,791
-Thank you, Gavin.
-Yeah.
148
00:07:41,875 --> 00:07:44,958
I'm just gonna take off real quick,
and I'm gonna see y'all later.
149
00:07:45,041 --> 00:07:47,375
And I'm looking forward to that butt.
150
00:07:48,541 --> 00:07:50,375
[children shouting, chattering]
151
00:07:52,583 --> 00:07:53,583
[man shouts]
152
00:07:53,666 --> 00:07:54,625
[children arguing]
153
00:07:54,708 --> 00:07:57,958
-Can I have a go? Can I have a go?
-You do it!
154
00:07:58,041 --> 00:07:59,625
-Please?
-No, you!
155
00:08:00,500 --> 00:08:02,625
-Please, just one quick go.
-[shrieks] Ow!
156
00:08:03,291 --> 00:08:06,625
-Max, clean up all this crap right now.
-Sorry, Dad.
157
00:08:06,708 --> 00:08:07,958
I just stepped on a Lego.
158
00:08:08,041 --> 00:08:10,250
It's the most painful thing in the world.
159
00:08:10,750 --> 00:08:13,083
-[video game blasting]
-[boy] I'm winning over here.
160
00:08:13,166 --> 00:08:15,250
-[TV blaring]
-[children squealing]
161
00:08:15,333 --> 00:08:19,166
I understand that our flight
was canceled and rebooked.
162
00:08:19,250 --> 00:08:22,666
No, my problem is that you have split
our family onto two separate flights.
163
00:08:22,750 --> 00:08:23,750
[children arguing]
164
00:08:23,833 --> 00:08:26,916
I'm sorry, can you speak up, please?
It's very loud in here.
165
00:08:27,000 --> 00:08:29,666
[boy 2] You can never catch me. Jerk!
166
00:08:30,166 --> 00:08:31,750
-[distant screaming]
-[grunts]
167
00:08:31,833 --> 00:08:34,041
Don't touch me, perv. I'm your sister.
168
00:08:34,125 --> 00:08:35,166
[children screaming]
169
00:08:36,833 --> 00:08:39,750
-Homebot, what year is it in Japan?
-[machine beeps]
170
00:08:39,833 --> 00:08:41,583
[Homebot speaking German]
171
00:08:41,666 --> 00:08:44,666
Guys, seriously, who keeps
swapping the Homebot to German?
172
00:08:44,750 --> 00:08:46,583
-Hey!
-Homebot, nein! Nein!
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00:08:46,666 --> 00:08:47,666
Ha ha!
174
00:08:47,750 --> 00:08:50,125
-Guys, Homebot is not a toy--
-[toy gun rattling]
175
00:08:50,208 --> 00:08:53,291
No, no, stop! Stop it!
Homebot is not a toy!
176
00:08:53,375 --> 00:08:55,125
I'm sick of this bullsh--
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00:08:58,041 --> 00:09:01,875
We don't have to tell Santa
about that, right, Goobie?
178
00:09:02,541 --> 00:09:04,916
-[children yelling]
-You need to project when you speak.
179
00:09:05,500 --> 00:09:08,416
-Sir, I am not taking a tone with you.
-Mum.
180
00:09:08,500 --> 00:09:12,625
I'm simply saying that you have put me
on a different flight to my children.
181
00:09:12,708 --> 00:09:14,500
-Mum.
-The computer won't let you?
182
00:09:14,583 --> 00:09:17,000
-What is the computer? Is it God?
-[man] Guys, guys--
183
00:09:17,083 --> 00:09:19,750
-Mum. Mum!
-[man] Guess what? Spanking's on the menu!
184
00:09:19,833 --> 00:09:23,541
Max, please! You are not
the only person in this house, darling.
185
00:09:24,750 --> 00:09:25,916
I wish I was.
186
00:09:26,000 --> 00:09:28,958
Boys, don't make me run.
I have tendinitis.
187
00:09:29,041 --> 00:09:30,333
Move, Max.
188
00:09:30,416 --> 00:09:33,041
-Lay down your arms!
-[Carol] Americans, please!
189
00:09:33,125 --> 00:09:35,250
[children shrieking]
190
00:09:35,333 --> 00:09:36,958
-[sighs]
-[Carol] Pizza! Lovely.
191
00:09:37,041 --> 00:09:39,291
-How many do you have?
-Three pepperonis and three pineapples.
192
00:09:39,375 --> 00:09:41,041
-Let's just get--
-Everybody loves pineapple.
193
00:09:41,125 --> 00:09:43,333
[woman] I've still gotta do some packing
and some laundry.
194
00:09:43,416 --> 00:09:45,208
[Carol] Everybody, pizza!
195
00:09:45,291 --> 00:09:49,916
Can you come and eat, please?
Seriously. We're gonna be up at 5:00 a.m.
196
00:09:50,000 --> 00:09:51,583
[faintly] Stop, please!
197
00:09:51,666 --> 00:09:53,666
[Carol and children arguing]
198
00:09:58,000 --> 00:10:01,041
[Carol] Stop. You'll break your neck.
And look at your suitcases.
199
00:10:02,083 --> 00:10:03,333
[sighs]
200
00:10:17,625 --> 00:10:19,208
-[crashing]
-[chuckling]
201
00:10:19,291 --> 00:10:21,875
We expect major, major delays
at the airport.
202
00:10:21,958 --> 00:10:24,333
We don't know when O'Hare is
gonna be able to get back…
203
00:10:24,416 --> 00:10:26,625
What was that today? Metal detectors?
204
00:10:26,708 --> 00:10:31,000
What? They have them.
I'm sorry. Is that not "lit"?
205
00:10:31,083 --> 00:10:34,958
Okay, we are trying to
sell the house, Jeff.
206
00:10:35,041 --> 00:10:37,250
You're the one who said
it's our only option,
207
00:10:37,333 --> 00:10:39,166
so I need you on my team, okay?
208
00:10:40,000 --> 00:10:42,291
I know. I know. I just--
209
00:10:42,375 --> 00:10:46,666
Today, it felt real, and I didn't like it.
210
00:10:46,750 --> 00:10:48,208
You think I do?
211
00:10:48,291 --> 00:10:51,166
I always thought we'd get old and weird
in this house.
212
00:10:51,250 --> 00:10:53,500
We've done the math.
We can't afford it on my salary alone.
213
00:10:53,583 --> 00:10:56,375
Yeah, but I crushed my interview with IBM.
214
00:10:56,458 --> 00:10:59,083
You crushed it. Crushed it!
215
00:10:59,833 --> 00:11:01,541
But that was three months ago.
216
00:11:01,625 --> 00:11:05,958
Any company with a brain needs
a good data migration manager, okay?
217
00:11:06,041 --> 00:11:08,791
I wouldn't trust an algorithm
to port over a MySQL database
218
00:11:08,875 --> 00:11:11,208
to a new server
without any human oversight.
219
00:11:12,958 --> 00:11:14,708
-[sighs]
-Me neither.
220
00:11:15,541 --> 00:11:18,375
But it might take a while
to find another job.
221
00:11:18,458 --> 00:11:21,666
You said it yourself.
The data migration boom is over.
222
00:11:22,958 --> 00:11:24,125
It's the cloud.
223
00:11:25,541 --> 00:11:26,625
The cloud.
224
00:11:28,041 --> 00:11:31,333
So I need you to get on board, okay?
225
00:11:32,250 --> 00:11:35,250
Come on. It's our last Christmas here.
226
00:11:35,333 --> 00:11:37,333
Let's try to enjoy it.
227
00:11:40,208 --> 00:11:42,583
Tons of fun.
228
00:11:42,666 --> 00:11:43,916
[blows raspberry]
229
00:11:44,666 --> 00:11:46,208
[snoring softly]
230
00:11:47,125 --> 00:11:49,291
[phone ringing]
231
00:11:49,375 --> 00:11:51,125
[snoring continues]
232
00:11:56,500 --> 00:11:58,333
[phone vibrating]
233
00:11:59,083 --> 00:12:00,708
[grumbles]
234
00:12:04,750 --> 00:12:05,750
Hunter?
235
00:12:05,833 --> 00:12:10,000
[Hunter] Hey, Pama-lama-ding-dong!
Guess what? We're outside!
236
00:12:10,083 --> 00:12:11,541
[line disconnects]
237
00:12:12,458 --> 00:12:14,083
-Get up.
-[groans] Queen Latifah.
238
00:12:14,166 --> 00:12:16,125
-Get up. Your brother's here.
-[grunts]
239
00:12:16,208 --> 00:12:17,625
[groans]
240
00:12:17,708 --> 00:12:18,708
God.
241
00:12:24,708 --> 00:12:25,541
[horn honks]
242
00:12:25,625 --> 00:12:27,125
[sighs]
243
00:12:30,666 --> 00:12:32,500
[groans] Damn it.
244
00:12:34,625 --> 00:12:36,041
Gosh, I miss the snow!
245
00:12:37,000 --> 00:12:39,875
-Hey. What are you doing--
-Doing here?
246
00:12:39,958 --> 00:12:42,833
We flew in early to get ahead of
snowpocalypse or whatever.
247
00:12:42,916 --> 00:12:44,500
Snowmageddon.
248
00:12:44,583 --> 00:12:46,416
Snowpocalypse is better.
249
00:12:46,500 --> 00:12:48,666
Hey, babe. Hurry up.
250
00:12:49,833 --> 00:12:51,333
-Coming, baby!
-Who's that? Aah.
251
00:12:51,416 --> 00:12:53,416
Pamuel L. Jackson! Bring it in.
252
00:12:53,500 --> 00:12:55,000
Hi, Hunter. Hi.
253
00:12:55,750 --> 00:12:57,666
Here she is!
254
00:12:58,375 --> 00:13:00,250
-[woman gasps]
-[Hunter] Oh. Careful.
255
00:13:11,208 --> 00:13:12,375
-Okay! Hey.
-Oh!
256
00:13:12,458 --> 00:13:15,458
Oh, we would've called, but we thought
it would be fun to surprise you.
257
00:13:15,541 --> 00:13:16,625
-Yeah.
-Are you surprised?
258
00:13:16,708 --> 00:13:19,125
We are surprised. We're very surprised.
259
00:13:19,208 --> 00:13:20,666
I know. It's so cute here.
260
00:13:20,750 --> 00:13:22,750
-[girl] Aunt Mei!
-So quaint-- Hi!
261
00:13:22,833 --> 00:13:23,833
Hi, my adorables.
262
00:13:23,916 --> 00:13:25,541
I didn't think you were coming
till tomorrow.
263
00:13:25,625 --> 00:13:26,625
I'm here now.
264
00:13:26,708 --> 00:13:30,333
We all thought she was coming tomorrow,
but she's come in the dead of night.
265
00:13:31,041 --> 00:13:32,833
-Hey, Ollie, look who it is.
-[music playing]
266
00:13:32,916 --> 00:13:36,333
-It's Uncle Jeff. Hey. [laughs]
-Hey, buddy!
267
00:13:36,416 --> 00:13:38,125
-Ollie, look! Snow!
-[Ollie coughing]
268
00:13:39,041 --> 00:13:40,250
Good to see you, buddy.
269
00:13:40,333 --> 00:13:41,875
He has gotten so big.
270
00:13:41,958 --> 00:13:43,250
Okay!
271
00:13:43,333 --> 00:13:45,541
Oh, my gosh, I'm so sorry.
272
00:13:45,625 --> 00:13:48,458
It's the last one.
It's the last one. I promise, okay?
273
00:13:49,125 --> 00:13:50,333
That's enough.
274
00:13:50,416 --> 00:13:53,166
Mind giving our luggage a tuggage?
I wanna get that guy situated.
275
00:13:54,500 --> 00:13:55,583
[Jeff sighs]
276
00:13:58,416 --> 00:13:59,541
Wow.
277
00:14:00,416 --> 00:14:01,958
Yeah, we had a great year.
278
00:14:03,166 --> 00:14:05,125
Oh, great arm, buddy!
279
00:14:05,208 --> 00:14:07,750
-Ollie, that is not a toy.
-I'll get it.
280
00:14:07,833 --> 00:14:09,166
[speaking Spanish]
281
00:14:10,500 --> 00:14:12,041
We're teaching him Spanish!
282
00:14:12,125 --> 00:14:14,500
What did I tell you about taking
other people's stuff?
283
00:14:14,583 --> 00:14:17,916
-Where do you have us set up?
-Oh, in the den on the pullout.
284
00:14:18,000 --> 00:14:21,791
[laughs] Okay.
In the den on the pullout. Yeah, okay.
285
00:14:43,416 --> 00:14:45,916
Wow, that lady wasn't kidding.
286
00:14:49,250 --> 00:14:50,208
What?
287
00:15:03,250 --> 00:15:06,041
-[doll cries]
-What-- Where is it?
288
00:15:07,666 --> 00:15:09,125
[panting]
289
00:15:11,500 --> 00:15:15,666
That brat kid stole my doll.
My mom's doll.
290
00:15:17,291 --> 00:15:18,375
[sighs]
291
00:15:19,291 --> 00:15:20,666
How am I gonna find this kid?
292
00:15:21,583 --> 00:15:23,291
Maxwell Johan Mercer.
293
00:15:23,375 --> 00:15:24,833
Carol Ellen Mercer.
294
00:15:25,958 --> 00:15:27,208
Bingo.
295
00:15:40,083 --> 00:15:42,458
[woman through GPS]
You have arrived at your destination.
296
00:15:42,541 --> 00:15:44,708
[man] Get in the car!
297
00:15:45,333 --> 00:15:48,875
You need to get in a car now.
We are so late. You have no idea.
298
00:15:48,958 --> 00:15:51,083
-[boy] Gotcha!
-What was that for?
299
00:15:51,166 --> 00:15:52,583
-[man] I legit might cry right now.
-Don't!
300
00:15:52,666 --> 00:15:54,375
I need that for cheerleading, you cretin.
301
00:15:54,458 --> 00:15:55,958
[man] Son of a sandwich!
302
00:15:56,041 --> 00:15:59,291
-Get in the car!
-[horn honking]
303
00:15:59,375 --> 00:16:01,666
[distant] We're gonna miss the flight,
you guys. Come on!
304
00:16:01,750 --> 00:16:04,041
Uh, hi, my dude. Um...
305
00:16:04,125 --> 00:16:05,708
Is Carol Mercer home?
306
00:16:05,791 --> 00:16:07,791
No, Carol took the early flight.
She booked the cars.
307
00:16:07,875 --> 00:16:10,250
That's why they're in her name.
These are our cars. We need to go.
308
00:16:10,333 --> 00:16:11,916
Will you be a mint?
309
00:16:12,000 --> 00:16:13,708
-Put that in the back for us, huh?
-Uh…
310
00:16:13,791 --> 00:16:16,541
Bethany, is this a good time
for a selfie in front of an Uber?
311
00:16:16,625 --> 00:16:18,833
-#ill-judged.
-[sighs]
312
00:16:20,333 --> 00:16:22,291
Text that to me.
Okay, guys, get in the car!
313
00:16:22,375 --> 00:16:23,750
Give your stuff to the driver.
314
00:16:23,833 --> 00:16:26,166
-If I miss the duty-free shop…
-I'm not the driver.
315
00:16:26,250 --> 00:16:28,375
…I am going to shave somebody's head.
That's real.
316
00:16:28,458 --> 00:16:30,708
Blake, you do realize
they sell alcohol in Japan?
317
00:16:30,791 --> 00:16:32,291
Hey, big news, Stu.
318
00:16:32,375 --> 00:16:34,625
Duty-free shops sell
three-foot Toblerones.
319
00:16:34,708 --> 00:16:37,583
Hey, buddy. I'm gonna give that to you
and ask you to take real good care of it.
320
00:16:37,666 --> 00:16:39,583
It's got my sleep apnea machine in there.
321
00:16:39,666 --> 00:16:42,708
Do you know if Carol's son, Max, is home?
322
00:16:43,416 --> 00:16:46,416
If you don't see him,
he's halfway to Tokyo by now. All right.
323
00:16:48,333 --> 00:16:50,916
Is that everyone?
The cars are leaving now.
324
00:16:54,166 --> 00:16:55,458
[typing]
325
00:16:55,541 --> 00:16:56,625
[phone chimes]
326
00:16:57,166 --> 00:16:58,833
[girl] Everybody, say cheese.
327
00:16:59,541 --> 00:17:00,958
Everybody, wave.
328
00:17:13,000 --> 00:17:15,166
Somebody that lives here, what's the code?
329
00:17:15,250 --> 00:17:17,041
-Your mamma!
-Thank you, Ricky!
330
00:17:17,125 --> 00:17:19,333
Guess who's number one
to get his head shaved?
331
00:17:20,166 --> 00:17:21,291
It's Ricky! Code!
332
00:17:21,375 --> 00:17:24,500
-One, one, one, two.
-One, one, one, two. Brilliant.
333
00:17:24,583 --> 00:17:25,791
That's a bad code.
334
00:17:28,458 --> 00:17:29,458
[electronic voice] Armed.
335
00:17:29,541 --> 00:17:30,708
[groans]
336
00:17:32,791 --> 00:17:34,333
Here we go. All right.
337
00:17:37,541 --> 00:17:39,541
I'm sorry,
but I really do need to talk to Carol.
338
00:17:39,625 --> 00:17:43,625
Yes. Don't worry. I'll make sure that
Carol gives you five stars in the app.
339
00:17:43,708 --> 00:17:45,041
Reputation is everything.
340
00:17:46,541 --> 00:17:49,625
Oh, hey, wait! Wait!
341
00:17:51,583 --> 00:17:52,666
[groans]
342
00:17:56,791 --> 00:17:58,666
What the heck are you looking at?
343
00:18:00,708 --> 00:18:01,916
[grunts]
344
00:18:05,416 --> 00:18:07,875
I'm sorry. I'm having a bad day.
345
00:18:16,666 --> 00:18:17,708
There it is.
346
00:18:20,333 --> 00:18:22,208
Oh, my…
347
00:18:25,958 --> 00:18:27,833
One, one, one, two.
348
00:18:35,250 --> 00:18:36,833
[heart thumping]
349
00:18:41,333 --> 00:18:42,583
[siren blares]
350
00:18:49,708 --> 00:18:52,833
-[radio: "Mele Kalikimaka" playing]
-[horn honks]
351
00:18:58,458 --> 00:18:59,958
Okay, it's just a dog.
352
00:19:00,041 --> 00:19:02,458
I'm being ridiculous. I've gone insane.
353
00:19:02,541 --> 00:19:05,041
I'm a good, normal man.
I'm gonna talk to Pam.
354
00:19:05,750 --> 00:19:06,750
Pam.
355
00:19:06,833 --> 00:19:08,458
I'm just a neighbor helping.
356
00:19:08,541 --> 00:19:10,708
I water their dogs-- plants.
357
00:19:10,791 --> 00:19:14,375
I'm a friend of Carol's. A friend of--
Carol Ellen Mercer is her name.
358
00:19:14,458 --> 00:19:15,458
I gotta call Pam.
359
00:19:18,875 --> 00:19:20,041
[chattering]
360
00:19:23,375 --> 00:19:24,708
Where is he?
361
00:19:24,791 --> 00:19:26,166
I'm not sure where he is.
362
00:19:34,333 --> 00:19:35,458
Oh, great.
363
00:19:36,625 --> 00:19:37,791
I'm sorry. Sorry.
364
00:19:38,666 --> 00:19:39,791
[Hunter] Oh.
365
00:19:39,875 --> 00:19:42,125
-Here we go. Sorry. Hi.
-Is everything okay?
366
00:19:42,208 --> 00:19:44,375
-Yeah, fine. Thank you.
-What are you wearing?
367
00:19:44,458 --> 00:19:46,458
-I didn't have time to change.
-You look ridiculous.
368
00:19:46,541 --> 00:19:49,125
-Thank you.
-[conductor] Season's greetings, seniors.
369
00:19:49,208 --> 00:19:52,041
I apologize for the delay,
but we all saw the reason why.
370
00:19:52,125 --> 00:19:55,833
My D-flat has decided
that the world runs on his time.
371
00:19:56,708 --> 00:20:00,125
Without further ado,
I give you the Ne'er-Do-Bells.
372
00:20:00,208 --> 00:20:01,833
Hands on bells.
373
00:20:03,083 --> 00:20:05,166
-Raise the bells.
-[bells ring lightly]
374
00:20:06,000 --> 00:20:07,708
Two, three, four.
375
00:20:07,791 --> 00:20:10,416
[bells ring]
376
00:20:10,500 --> 00:20:12,125
[singing "Rudolph The Red-Nosed Reindeer"]
377
00:20:12,208 --> 00:20:13,833
-So did you get my voice mail?
-Yes.
378
00:20:13,916 --> 00:20:15,958
All of this happened
in the last two hours?
379
00:20:16,041 --> 00:20:18,500
Yeah, the doll is in that house.
I saw it in his jacket.
380
00:20:18,583 --> 00:20:21,000
-Why didn't you tell me this?
-I thought I would handle it myself.
381
00:20:21,083 --> 00:20:23,458
And your way of handling it
was breaking and entering?
382
00:20:23,541 --> 00:20:24,833
Just entering. I had the key.
383
00:20:24,916 --> 00:20:27,541
-It's still against the law, Jeff.
-[shouting] Like a lightbulb.
384
00:20:27,625 --> 00:20:29,375
Oh, my gosh. This is so terrible.
385
00:20:29,458 --> 00:20:31,458
[carolers] ♪ All of the other reindeer ♪
386
00:20:31,541 --> 00:20:33,125
But that's why I didn't do it, Columbo.
387
00:20:33,208 --> 00:20:34,291
Well, good.
388
00:20:34,375 --> 00:20:36,291
-Like Pinocchio.
-Pinocchio.
389
00:20:36,375 --> 00:20:38,000
What are we gonna do now?
We need that doll.
390
00:20:38,083 --> 00:20:40,125
I know we do, okay? Just let me think.
391
00:20:40,208 --> 00:20:43,500
♪ Join in any reindeer games ♪
392
00:20:43,583 --> 00:20:45,125
-[stammers] Uh, like Monopoly!
-Yeah.
393
00:20:45,208 --> 00:20:46,583
-That's too late.
-Yeah.
394
00:20:46,666 --> 00:20:48,625
-Boo. Sounds like garbage.
-[singing resumes]
395
00:20:48,708 --> 00:20:50,750
-Herman, no. None of that.
-Well, it does.
396
00:20:51,666 --> 00:20:52,833
You stink.
397
00:20:52,916 --> 00:20:54,541
♪ Santa came to say ♪
398
00:20:54,625 --> 00:20:55,875
Here's what we're gonna do.
399
00:20:55,958 --> 00:20:58,291
We will wait until they
come back from vacation,
400
00:20:58,375 --> 00:21:01,541
and then I will go over there.
I will tell the mom everything,
401
00:21:01,625 --> 00:21:03,125
and we'll get the doll back.
402
00:21:03,708 --> 00:21:04,958
[whispers] Get it together.
403
00:21:05,041 --> 00:21:06,666
Are you sure we should wait?
404
00:21:06,750 --> 00:21:10,041
Yes, Jeff. I don't want my husband
spending Christmas in jail.
405
00:21:10,125 --> 00:21:11,208
-[clears throat] Yippee!
-Hey!
406
00:21:11,291 --> 00:21:12,791
Wow.
407
00:21:12,875 --> 00:21:15,250
But the--
Our future is in that house, Pam.
408
00:21:15,333 --> 00:21:18,625
Come on. What could happen to it
in an empty house?
409
00:21:18,708 --> 00:21:22,833
-[singing ends]
-[bell rings continuously]
410
00:21:22,916 --> 00:21:24,000
It's okay, Martha.
411
00:21:25,250 --> 00:21:27,458
Don't blame her. That's you.
412
00:21:27,541 --> 00:21:28,666
Sorry.
413
00:21:28,750 --> 00:21:32,000
-Shame on you. This is my life choice.
-[bell rings lightly]
414
00:21:35,166 --> 00:21:36,291
[groans]
415
00:21:44,291 --> 00:21:46,666
[Max] Hello?
416
00:21:47,875 --> 00:21:48,958
Mum?
417
00:21:51,333 --> 00:21:52,416
Dad?
418
00:21:54,750 --> 00:21:55,875
Uncle Blake?
419
00:21:57,208 --> 00:21:58,541
Uncle Stu?
420
00:22:11,000 --> 00:22:13,083
It's a Christmas miracle.
421
00:22:14,833 --> 00:22:15,916
[chuckles]
422
00:22:19,375 --> 00:22:22,583
-[game character screams]
-[groans] Oh, come on, mate!
423
00:22:27,708 --> 00:22:29,333
["Christmas All Over Again" playing]
424
00:22:29,416 --> 00:22:31,791
♪ Well it's Christmas time ♪
425
00:22:31,875 --> 00:22:32,875
[laughs]
426
00:22:32,958 --> 00:22:34,208
♪ Again ♪
427
00:22:35,083 --> 00:22:36,083
Ugh.
428
00:22:36,166 --> 00:22:39,708
♪ Decorations are all hung by the fire ♪
429
00:22:39,791 --> 00:22:40,875
Oh!
430
00:22:41,666 --> 00:22:45,458
All right, Internet. Show me your worst.
431
00:22:45,541 --> 00:22:47,000
[monitor beeps]
432
00:22:47,541 --> 00:22:48,958
Well played, Mum and Dad.
433
00:22:49,041 --> 00:22:50,083
♪ Ringing out ♪
434
00:22:50,166 --> 00:22:53,666
♪ And it's Christmas ♪
435
00:22:53,750 --> 00:22:58,458
♪ All over again ♪
436
00:23:00,208 --> 00:23:02,250
♪ Yeah again ♪
437
00:23:05,250 --> 00:23:07,666
♪ And all over town ♪
438
00:23:08,416 --> 00:23:10,875
♪ Little kids gonna get down ♪
439
00:23:10,958 --> 00:23:11,958
[moans]
440
00:23:12,666 --> 00:23:15,583
[screaming]
441
00:23:18,041 --> 00:23:19,208
♪ Hey ♪
442
00:23:25,875 --> 00:23:28,166
♪ Everybody's singing ♪
443
00:23:29,375 --> 00:23:31,708
♪ All the bells are ringing out ♪
444
00:23:31,791 --> 00:23:34,208
[screams]
445
00:23:35,375 --> 00:23:38,208
♪ All over ♪
446
00:23:38,291 --> 00:23:39,458
[moans]
447
00:23:39,541 --> 00:23:41,208
♪ Again ♪
448
00:23:41,291 --> 00:23:42,541
[people chatter]
449
00:23:42,625 --> 00:23:46,208
[Jeff] Pam, that doll is worth $238,000,
450
00:23:46,291 --> 00:23:50,125
and is it really a crime to steal
something that was stolen from you?
451
00:23:50,208 --> 00:23:54,000
Yes, that's what O.J. got in trouble for.
The second time.
452
00:23:54,083 --> 00:23:56,833
-Okay, I just think--
-Look, I know that you wanna save the day
453
00:23:56,916 --> 00:23:59,125
because you feel bad
about losing your job.
454
00:23:59,208 --> 00:24:00,708
What's wrong with that?
455
00:24:00,791 --> 00:24:03,708
The fact that you will feel a lot worse
telling your kids you're…
456
00:24:04,708 --> 00:24:06,708
[whispers]
in jail for committing a felony.
457
00:24:06,791 --> 00:24:09,458
No, it's a misdemeanor.
Yeah, I looked it up.
458
00:24:09,541 --> 00:24:12,291
That is evidence. Do you know
how to clear your search history?
459
00:24:12,375 --> 00:24:14,666
[chuckles] Yeah. I mean,
well, I probably--
460
00:24:14,750 --> 00:24:16,583
-I-I'm sure I could figure it out.
-Okay, listen.
461
00:24:16,666 --> 00:24:19,541
We made a plan.
Let's just stick to it, okay?
462
00:24:19,625 --> 00:24:21,250
-[girl] Mom, Dad, look at us.
-[Hunter] Hey!
463
00:24:21,333 --> 00:24:23,125
-Hey!
-You like 'em? Look at Ollie.
464
00:24:23,208 --> 00:24:24,250
He's a little elf.
465
00:24:24,333 --> 00:24:27,083
He's so smart. We handed 'em to him.
He put 'em right on.
466
00:24:27,166 --> 00:24:28,333
Oh, amazing.
467
00:24:28,416 --> 00:24:31,458
Um, could I get some,
uh, reindeer antlers for Pam
468
00:24:32,041 --> 00:24:34,625
and a pair of the little elf glasses
for my brother?
469
00:24:34,708 --> 00:24:36,791
[train whistles, sings]
470
00:24:38,791 --> 00:24:40,875
-Ollie, we need big smiles from you, okay?
-Look at Mommy.
471
00:24:40,958 --> 00:24:42,916
-[cries]
-[Hunter] Big smiles, Ollie. Big smiles.
472
00:24:43,000 --> 00:24:45,125
Little guy comes alive
in front of the camera.
473
00:24:45,208 --> 00:24:46,291
[Ollie wails]
474
00:24:46,375 --> 00:24:49,125
Um, okay, cute photo much?
475
00:24:49,208 --> 00:24:51,291
[chuckles] I mean, come on. Look at that.
476
00:24:51,375 --> 00:24:53,958
Look at what's happened there.
It's an adorable image.
477
00:24:54,041 --> 00:24:56,416
-It's cute. It's super cute.
-[crying continues]
478
00:24:56,500 --> 00:24:58,000
It's a special memory.
479
00:24:58,083 --> 00:25:00,458
And since we are paper-free
at the North Pole,
480
00:25:00,541 --> 00:25:01,916
you can actually use this code
481
00:25:02,000 --> 00:25:04,458
to download that special memory
right from the cloud.
482
00:25:04,541 --> 00:25:08,750
Wh-- So, you're not even using
solid-state storage on-site?
483
00:25:08,833 --> 00:25:11,916
-I don't know what that means.
-[Jeff] I'll tell you what it means.
484
00:25:12,000 --> 00:25:14,750
What it means is, you're entirely
at the whim of a hosted service provider
485
00:25:14,833 --> 00:25:16,333
for virtualization and backup.
486
00:25:16,416 --> 00:25:17,791
Sir, I'm not a woman in tech.
487
00:25:17,875 --> 00:25:20,166
-I'm a woman in memories.
-You know, it's not a video game.
488
00:25:20,250 --> 00:25:21,541
-She doesn't care.
-I don't understand
489
00:25:21,625 --> 00:25:23,916
why you'd be so cavalier
with something this important.
490
00:25:24,000 --> 00:25:25,041
[girl] What is this?
491
00:25:26,125 --> 00:25:29,208
[Mei] New fashion, honey. We gotta--
We gotta switch up these colors.
492
00:25:29,291 --> 00:25:33,083
-[gasps] Mom, look at how cute this is.
-So cute.
493
00:25:33,166 --> 00:25:35,375
-[chuckles] Can I get it?
-Oh.
494
00:25:36,333 --> 00:25:38,583
Oh, honey, no.
I'm sorry, that's way too much.
495
00:25:38,666 --> 00:25:41,916
Okay, no, no, no. I can't stand
the thought of you not having that.
496
00:25:42,000 --> 00:25:44,958
Consider it an early Christmas present
from Auntie Mei-Mei.
497
00:25:45,041 --> 00:25:46,541
You're gonna look so hot. Come on.
498
00:25:46,625 --> 00:25:48,958
-Mei.
-[girl giggling] Are you kidding?
499
00:25:49,458 --> 00:25:50,458
[phone beeps]
500
00:25:50,541 --> 00:25:51,750
[Mei] This, please.
501
00:25:54,541 --> 00:25:55,708
[Mei] A top for you.
502
00:26:00,208 --> 00:26:04,000
[man on TV] I'll tell you what
I am gonna give you, Snakes.
503
00:26:04,083 --> 00:26:07,666
I'm gonna give you 'til the count of ten
504
00:26:08,458 --> 00:26:12,750
to get your ugly, yellow, no-good keister…
505
00:26:12,833 --> 00:26:15,000
-Ugh, this is garbage.
- …off my spaceship…
506
00:26:15,083 --> 00:26:17,958
I don't know why they're always
trying to remake the classics.
507
00:26:18,041 --> 00:26:19,708
Never as good as the originals.
508
00:26:19,791 --> 00:26:21,250
You want some more P-corn, C-Train?
509
00:26:21,333 --> 00:26:22,833
-Oh, yeah, that'd be great.
-All right.
510
00:26:24,250 --> 00:26:27,125
-[man on TV] One, two…
-I don't remember this guy.
511
00:26:28,166 --> 00:26:30,000
Whoa! Ho, ho!
512
00:26:30,083 --> 00:26:33,125
Nearly lost your house there,
Pama-lama-ding-dong.
513
00:26:43,166 --> 00:26:45,208
["Somewhere In My Memory" playing]
514
00:26:52,875 --> 00:26:54,166
[Jeff] Hey, honey.
515
00:26:54,250 --> 00:26:56,416
-Put the topper on.
-Should we put it on together?
516
00:26:56,500 --> 00:26:58,958
-Yeah.
-One, two, three. [gasps]
517
00:26:59,041 --> 00:27:00,791
[girl] Santa came! Santa came!
518
00:27:00,875 --> 00:27:03,500
[boy] Santa came! Santa came! Santa came!
519
00:27:03,583 --> 00:27:04,958
I'm so excited.
520
00:27:05,041 --> 00:27:06,833
Santa came!
521
00:27:06,916 --> 00:27:08,250
-Oh, my God!
-Santa came.
522
00:27:08,333 --> 00:27:09,666
-Come here.
-Oh, my God!
523
00:27:13,750 --> 00:27:15,333
Home sweet home.
524
00:27:17,458 --> 00:27:19,458
Mom, you gotta save our house.
525
00:27:19,541 --> 00:27:21,458
Seriously, Mom,
will you just get the doll?
526
00:27:21,541 --> 00:27:23,583
It's just entering, Pam. We have the key.
527
00:27:23,666 --> 00:27:25,500
Pam, you have to call me.
528
00:27:25,583 --> 00:27:27,083
- Hi, Gavin…
- Come and get me.
529
00:27:27,166 --> 00:27:29,375
Now, Fräulein. Now!
530
00:27:30,833 --> 00:27:33,125
I will, you ugly, little boy!
531
00:27:33,208 --> 00:27:36,166
[man on TV]
Keep the change, ya filthy earthling.
532
00:27:36,250 --> 00:27:38,333
Well, I think you're very handsome.
533
00:27:40,916 --> 00:27:42,125
Let's go.
534
00:27:42,208 --> 00:27:43,916
-Where are we going?
-To get some milk.
535
00:27:44,000 --> 00:27:46,166
Oh, well, there's plenty of milk
in the fridge, Pammy.
536
00:27:46,250 --> 00:27:49,375
No, you guys have a ton of milk.
You're all set on milk.
537
00:27:49,458 --> 00:27:51,750
Uh, eggnog. We need--
We're gonna get some eggnog.
538
00:27:51,833 --> 00:27:54,458
-You've seen the weather, right?
-[Mei] It's snowmageddon out there.
539
00:27:54,541 --> 00:27:56,583
Yeah, snowpocalypse, babe.
Snowpocalypse is better.
540
00:27:56,666 --> 00:28:01,083
-Are you gonna be okay to drive?
-Yes, yes, yes, yes.
541
00:28:02,250 --> 00:28:04,250
Yes. We are okay to drive.
542
00:28:04,333 --> 00:28:06,041
[wind howling]
543
00:28:07,583 --> 00:28:09,333
[Pam] Honey, your instincts were right.
544
00:28:09,416 --> 00:28:12,875
We can't leave a winning lottery ticket
in some stranger's house.
545
00:28:12,958 --> 00:28:16,208
Yeah, yeah. We are doing this.
546
00:28:16,291 --> 00:28:18,250
Oh, honey, that's Beechtree.
547
00:28:18,333 --> 00:28:19,416
[tires screeching]
548
00:28:19,500 --> 00:28:22,541
[both yelling]
549
00:28:22,625 --> 00:28:24,166
[both yell]
550
00:28:24,250 --> 00:28:28,000
Honey, steer into the slide.
551
00:28:28,083 --> 00:28:30,666
N-No, y-you steer into a skid.
552
00:28:38,291 --> 00:28:41,958
Pam, I watched an episode
of Locked Up earlier today on demand,
553
00:28:42,041 --> 00:28:43,041
and…
554
00:28:43,916 --> 00:28:45,708
I can't go to jail, honey.
555
00:28:45,791 --> 00:28:48,333
I wouldn't last 30 seconds in gen pop.
556
00:28:49,125 --> 00:28:50,333
Gen pop?
557
00:28:50,916 --> 00:28:52,125
General population.
558
00:28:52,708 --> 00:28:54,500
It's where fresh fish get got.
559
00:28:57,458 --> 00:28:58,458
Jeff.
560
00:29:00,000 --> 00:29:02,083
I need you to focus.
561
00:29:02,166 --> 00:29:05,750
Nobody here is getting got.
562
00:29:05,833 --> 00:29:10,416
The only thing getting got is that doll.
563
00:29:10,500 --> 00:29:13,916
So let's go get it!
564
00:29:16,000 --> 00:29:17,041
[door bangs]
565
00:29:18,166 --> 00:29:19,708
-Can you unlock the door?
-Yeah.
566
00:29:19,791 --> 00:29:21,291
-[lock clicks]
-Sorry.
567
00:29:22,000 --> 00:29:23,208
[door closes]
568
00:29:28,666 --> 00:29:29,708
[Pam exhales]
569
00:29:31,083 --> 00:29:32,250
Don't move.
570
00:29:35,500 --> 00:29:36,791
Why are we standing still?
571
00:29:36,875 --> 00:29:40,958
Because the light is motion-activated,
and if we stand still, it'll turn off.
572
00:29:41,041 --> 00:29:44,708
Yeah, but it's just gonna turn back on
when we move again.
573
00:29:44,791 --> 00:29:47,083
So, why are we standing still now?
574
00:29:47,166 --> 00:29:49,333
I don't know. I'm not good at this.
575
00:29:49,416 --> 00:29:50,416
I know.
576
00:29:52,166 --> 00:29:53,708
[Jeff groans]
577
00:29:54,333 --> 00:29:56,125
[Jeff grunts, inhales shakily]
578
00:30:03,083 --> 00:30:04,458
[machine beeps]
579
00:30:05,166 --> 00:30:06,208
And we're criminals.
580
00:30:06,291 --> 00:30:08,416
-[Pam] Go.
-[Alarm rings, buzzes]
581
00:30:08,500 --> 00:30:09,833
[electronic voice] Alarm.
582
00:30:10,583 --> 00:30:11,708
It's loud.
583
00:30:11,791 --> 00:30:13,625
[alarm beeping, buzzing continues]
584
00:30:13,708 --> 00:30:14,708
[electronic voice] Alarm.
585
00:30:14,791 --> 00:30:17,000
[Jeff] Two, two, two, one.
586
00:30:17,083 --> 00:30:18,541
Be careful. Don't slip.
587
00:30:18,625 --> 00:30:20,333
-[Jeff whispers] Okay.
-[beeps]
588
00:30:21,958 --> 00:30:24,000
[Pam] They did leave in a hurry.
589
00:30:24,083 --> 00:30:25,541
[beeps]
590
00:30:25,625 --> 00:30:27,666
-Where'd you see the kid's jacket?
-It was right here.
591
00:30:28,333 --> 00:30:30,166
Well, we tried.
592
00:30:30,250 --> 00:30:33,041
A jacket can't just get up and walk away.
It has to be here somewhere.
593
00:30:33,125 --> 00:30:35,583
Hey, don't bail on me.
594
00:30:36,416 --> 00:30:38,000
We're a team.
595
00:30:38,083 --> 00:30:39,125
O-Okay.
596
00:30:39,916 --> 00:30:42,875
Him? I knew he was weird.
597
00:30:42,958 --> 00:30:46,666
All we have to do
is find that ugly, little boy.
598
00:30:46,750 --> 00:30:51,666
And then some crazy, old lady
will pay us $200,000 for him.
599
00:30:51,750 --> 00:30:54,708
Two-hundred grand
just to put him in a room,
600
00:30:54,791 --> 00:30:58,458
clean him off with her little brushes,
and show him off to all her friends.
601
00:30:58,541 --> 00:31:05,250
[laughs] May I feed him
a piece of this gross, old lady candy?
602
00:31:05,333 --> 00:31:07,208
Of course. That's all he eats.
603
00:31:07,291 --> 00:31:08,625
[groans]
604
00:31:08,708 --> 00:31:10,083
-[laughing]
-[retches]
605
00:31:10,166 --> 00:31:11,833
Oh, Gertrude. He's perfect.
606
00:31:11,916 --> 00:31:13,750
Worth every penny.
607
00:31:14,375 --> 00:31:16,208
-[Max retches]
-[grunts, laughs]
608
00:31:16,291 --> 00:31:19,166
[laughing]
609
00:31:19,250 --> 00:31:22,166
[whimpers]
610
00:31:24,375 --> 00:31:27,333
Five grand for an ugly, porcelain kid.
611
00:31:27,416 --> 00:31:30,791
I didn't get half that for my real kids.
612
00:31:32,083 --> 00:31:34,458
We're not leaving here without him.
613
00:31:34,541 --> 00:31:36,041
I don't think so.
614
00:31:38,500 --> 00:31:39,666
[floorboards creaking]
615
00:31:41,708 --> 00:31:42,708
The jacket.
616
00:31:43,958 --> 00:31:46,458
-Homebot, call the police.
-[Homebot beeps]
617
00:31:46,541 --> 00:31:50,041
[Homebot speaking German]
618
00:31:50,125 --> 00:31:51,375
There's someone home.
619
00:31:51,458 --> 00:31:53,875
[Homebot speaking German]
620
00:31:53,958 --> 00:31:55,583
And she's German.
621
00:31:55,666 --> 00:31:58,541
[Homebot speaking German]
622
00:31:58,625 --> 00:31:59,958
[Jeff repeats German]
623
00:32:00,041 --> 00:32:02,833
Okay, on three, we run. One.
624
00:32:07,750 --> 00:32:08,791
[grunts]
625
00:32:09,291 --> 00:32:10,458
-Ow, ow.
-[siren wails]
626
00:32:12,666 --> 00:32:14,166
Whoa, that was fast.
627
00:32:14,250 --> 00:32:17,250
-[siren wailing continues]
-[Homebot speaking German]
628
00:32:21,250 --> 00:32:24,833
[radio chatter]
629
00:32:31,208 --> 00:32:32,541
Evening.
630
00:32:32,625 --> 00:32:33,625
Hi.
631
00:32:37,125 --> 00:32:38,375
Hello, Officer.
632
00:32:39,041 --> 00:32:41,250
[scoffs] Did somebody slip and fall?
[chuckles]
633
00:32:42,500 --> 00:32:44,500
Ha! Busted.
634
00:32:44,583 --> 00:32:46,166
Is this your residence?
635
00:32:46,250 --> 00:32:48,166
Well, I certainly hope so.
636
00:32:48,250 --> 00:32:52,875
Otherwise, I've been cleaning somebody
else's sinks for the past 14 years.
637
00:32:52,958 --> 00:32:54,083
[chuckles]
638
00:32:54,166 --> 00:32:55,416
[chuckles] Sinks.
639
00:32:55,500 --> 00:32:57,208
Is there a problem, Officer?
640
00:32:57,291 --> 00:32:59,375
Honey, why don't you go warm up the car?
641
00:33:01,041 --> 00:33:04,500
We got a call.
Your home alarm's been triggered.
642
00:33:05,125 --> 00:33:08,333
Yeah, well,
the code is our anniversary, so…
643
00:33:09,083 --> 00:33:11,708
you think he's gonna remember that?
[chuckles]
644
00:33:12,541 --> 00:33:15,958
I'm sure you never forget
your anniversary, do you, Officer?
645
00:33:16,041 --> 00:33:18,958
-Oh, no, no. [chuckles]
-[car door closes]
646
00:33:19,958 --> 00:33:21,875
-No ring on this finger, ma'am.
-[engine starts]
647
00:33:21,958 --> 00:33:24,291
No one's been able to tame
this wild stallion.
648
00:33:24,375 --> 00:33:25,458
[sniffs]
649
00:33:25,541 --> 00:33:29,166
Well, I envy the filly
who eventually ropes you in.
650
00:33:30,583 --> 00:33:32,416
Another time, another place.
651
00:33:34,083 --> 00:33:36,958
A whole lot of what-ifs, Officer.
652
00:33:37,041 --> 00:33:40,916
[chuckles] Anyway, I'm so sorry
we wasted your time.
653
00:33:42,458 --> 00:33:44,958
Is there anything else
I can help you with tonight?
654
00:33:45,708 --> 00:33:47,208
No, don't worry 'bout it. No.
655
00:33:48,208 --> 00:33:51,708
Unless you want me to arrest your husband
for missing your anniversary, huh?
656
00:33:51,791 --> 00:33:53,083
[both laugh]
657
00:33:53,166 --> 00:33:56,916
Is it bad if a part of me says,
"Yeah, I do want that"?
658
00:33:57,000 --> 00:33:59,291
[both laughing]
659
00:33:59,375 --> 00:34:00,666
What's so funny?
660
00:34:00,750 --> 00:34:02,416
-[Pam laughs]
-Get it?
661
00:34:03,583 --> 00:34:05,916
What are you waiting for? Detain them.
662
00:34:06,000 --> 00:34:07,583
-Now--
-[Max, faintly] Detain them!
663
00:34:08,833 --> 00:34:09,875
What was that?
664
00:34:17,833 --> 00:34:19,833
Nah, nah, we're all good.
665
00:34:21,458 --> 00:34:25,500
What say you and your hubby
have a nice holiday.
666
00:34:26,541 --> 00:34:27,583
And a good night.
667
00:34:27,666 --> 00:34:29,916
-Wait, you're letting them get away.
-[sirens wailing]
668
00:34:31,083 --> 00:34:33,583
And-- And then those people
broke into my house,
669
00:34:33,666 --> 00:34:35,041
-and I-I-I--
-Whoa, whoa.
670
00:34:35,125 --> 00:34:38,458
-…think they're trying to kidnap me or--
-Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
671
00:34:38,541 --> 00:34:42,875
Are you saying your parents
left you home alone?
672
00:34:42,958 --> 00:34:45,875
-Alone? Alone? Alone?
-[bars sliding]
673
00:34:47,125 --> 00:34:49,750
[pants]
674
00:34:49,833 --> 00:34:52,291
[whispers] Why did you have to
tell anyone, Max?
675
00:34:52,375 --> 00:34:55,708
Why did you have to open your big mouth?
676
00:34:55,791 --> 00:34:57,666
[pants]
677
00:34:57,750 --> 00:34:59,500
[cries]
678
00:35:00,583 --> 00:35:02,666
Maybe the police is a bad idea.
679
00:35:07,375 --> 00:35:08,375
Nice couple.
680
00:35:09,791 --> 00:35:10,958
[Max] You know what?
681
00:35:11,750 --> 00:35:16,000
This whole house-to-myself thing might not
have been the best idea, Homebot.
682
00:35:16,083 --> 00:35:17,833
[Homebot beeps, speaks in German]
683
00:35:18,416 --> 00:35:20,791
[groans] How do you
switch back to English?
684
00:35:20,875 --> 00:35:22,708
Changing language to English.
685
00:35:22,791 --> 00:35:24,541
Oh, that was easy.
686
00:35:25,125 --> 00:35:28,083
Homebot, call Mum.
687
00:35:28,166 --> 00:35:32,708
I'm sorry. Voice calling is not available
on this Homebot device.
688
00:35:32,791 --> 00:35:34,416
[Max] So what do I do, Homebot?
689
00:35:34,500 --> 00:35:37,583
I can't call my mum,
and if I tell the police or anyone else,
690
00:35:37,666 --> 00:35:39,583
they'll put my parents in jail.
691
00:35:39,666 --> 00:35:44,125
A blue whale's veins are big enough
for an adult human to swim through.
692
00:35:44,208 --> 00:35:46,583
How is that supposed to help?
693
00:35:46,666 --> 00:35:49,000
What time is it in Tokyo?
694
00:35:49,083 --> 00:35:54,000
It is 11:37 a.m. tomorrow in Tokyo, Japan.
695
00:35:54,666 --> 00:35:55,833
Night, Homebot.
696
00:35:56,666 --> 00:35:57,916
[Homebot] Good night, Max.
697
00:35:59,250 --> 00:36:00,875
[Carol shouting] What?
698
00:36:00,958 --> 00:36:03,125
Wha-- Are you-- Are you serious?
699
00:36:03,208 --> 00:36:05,125
So at no point you thought
to check with me?
700
00:36:05,208 --> 00:36:07,458
You just assumed
that Max was on the other flight?
701
00:36:07,541 --> 00:36:09,708
We didn't take a census. I--
702
00:36:09,791 --> 00:36:12,958
Stu, did you assume he was on the plane?
703
00:36:13,041 --> 00:36:16,291
[Stu] Carol, I swear to you. That boy
was not in the house when we left.
704
00:36:16,375 --> 00:36:18,541
And where do you think he was, Stu?
705
00:36:18,625 --> 00:36:21,291
At the-- At the Four freaking Seasons?
706
00:36:21,375 --> 00:36:22,750
He had fish curry on the plane.
707
00:36:22,833 --> 00:36:25,083
We probably got a hard 30
before we're gonna see Stu.
708
00:36:25,166 --> 00:36:27,625
You do realize that,
because of you, I'm in Japan,
709
00:36:27,708 --> 00:36:31,916
and my ten-- ten-year-old son
is at home by himself?
710
00:36:32,000 --> 00:36:34,916
Yeah, but-- but first-world problems,
you know? [chuckles]
711
00:36:35,000 --> 00:36:37,750
-First-world problems?
-Stop it. Listen, listen, stop it!
712
00:36:37,833 --> 00:36:39,000
I got that at Brookstone.
713
00:36:39,958 --> 00:36:41,083
Dad's five minutes away.
714
00:36:41,166 --> 00:36:44,000
He's at the travel desk
and could only get one ticket home.
715
00:36:44,083 --> 00:36:46,625
-Yes, hello. Beechtree Lane.
-[gasps]
716
00:36:46,708 --> 00:36:48,000
-With two--
-Beech with two E's.
717
00:36:48,083 --> 00:36:49,541
Can you send an officer right away?
718
00:36:49,625 --> 00:36:51,375
[Stu] Did somebody call the house?
719
00:36:51,458 --> 00:36:54,750
No, because we don't have a landline.
Nobody has a landline anymore.
720
00:36:54,833 --> 00:36:58,416
Yes, Stu, nobody has a landline anymore
because it's not 1993.
721
00:36:58,500 --> 00:37:03,166
What's your next idea? Should I beep him
after I listen to the new MC Hammer joint?
722
00:37:03,250 --> 00:37:05,250
What about the neighbors?
Call one of the neighbors.
723
00:37:05,333 --> 00:37:08,125
-Activate the prayer chain.
-We don't know the neighbors, Blake.
724
00:37:08,208 --> 00:37:11,333
We only moved there two months ago.
I don't think we even know their names.
725
00:37:11,416 --> 00:37:14,083
Everybody we know is back in London.
726
00:37:14,166 --> 00:37:15,583
Well, Mum, where are you going?
727
00:37:15,666 --> 00:37:19,708
I'm going to go to the airport, darling,
because I can't sit here while my son is--
728
00:37:19,791 --> 00:37:21,708
I mean-- God, where is my passport?
729
00:37:21,791 --> 00:37:24,458
-It's in your hand.
-It's in my hand. It's in my hand.
730
00:37:24,541 --> 00:37:28,208
See, Carol? Under stress, people make
mistakes that we should forgive.
731
00:37:28,291 --> 00:37:30,875
You know? People forget passports.
People forget--
732
00:37:30,958 --> 00:37:32,875
-[yells] No!
-Stop it.
733
00:37:32,958 --> 00:37:36,041
Oh, darling, happy Christmas.
Mummy loves you very much. Okay?
734
00:37:36,125 --> 00:37:38,000
[Stu] Uh, what's happening?
Did Carol leave?
735
00:37:38,083 --> 00:37:39,208
Travel safe.
736
00:37:39,291 --> 00:37:40,625
[Stu] What-- What's going on?
737
00:37:45,458 --> 00:37:46,583
[laughs]
738
00:37:46,666 --> 00:37:47,833
-[man grunts]
-[laughs]
739
00:37:47,916 --> 00:37:50,666
[male dispatcher] Car 18, car 18.
You near Lincoln Heights?
740
00:37:50,750 --> 00:37:53,583
We got a call about a minor,
one Maxwell Mercer.
741
00:37:53,666 --> 00:37:56,625
Parents are on vacation
and think he might have been left behind.
742
00:37:56,708 --> 00:37:59,625
- Address is 36 Beechtree Lane .
-Oh, you gotta be kidding me.
743
00:38:00,500 --> 00:38:02,000
[clears throat] Um…
744
00:38:03,000 --> 00:38:06,833
You can ignore that.
That is a prank call. Over.
745
00:38:06,916 --> 00:38:08,583
-[male dispatcher] Prank call?
-Yep.
746
00:38:09,541 --> 00:38:13,791
Listen, when I was a kid,
my family went on vacation.
747
00:38:14,416 --> 00:38:17,041
We forgot my little brother Kevin.
748
00:38:18,625 --> 00:38:19,666
Twice.
749
00:38:21,291 --> 00:38:25,458
He called in the 289 to mess with me.
The idiot does it every year.
750
00:38:26,291 --> 00:38:28,166
[male dispatcher]
Are, uh, you sure about that?
751
00:38:28,250 --> 00:38:29,666
Yes, I'm sure about that!
752
00:38:29,750 --> 00:38:35,416
I know for a fact that there is
no forgotten child at that address.
753
00:38:35,500 --> 00:38:39,166
I was just there
for a bogus home-alarm call, okay?
754
00:38:40,208 --> 00:38:45,000
Guess what? The place had
a McCallister Home Alarm system.
755
00:38:45,083 --> 00:38:49,875
Oh, gee, a coincidence? I don't think so.
756
00:38:51,041 --> 00:38:56,375
[male dispatcher] Yeah. So can you
just drive by and check it out?
757
00:39:00,166 --> 00:39:02,541
[Officer McCallister] Ten-four.
I'm on my way now.
758
00:39:09,375 --> 00:39:13,541
Nice try, Kevin. Nice try.
759
00:39:14,458 --> 00:39:15,833
Trout sniffer.
760
00:39:25,833 --> 00:39:27,875
[chattering]
761
00:39:27,958 --> 00:39:29,083
Hey, guys.
762
00:39:30,125 --> 00:39:32,708
Hey. We saved you some seats
'cause you were running late.
763
00:39:32,791 --> 00:39:34,625
-People are still coming in.
-[Jeff] Hi.
764
00:39:34,708 --> 00:39:37,375
Hey, we saved you a seat
'cause you were running late to church.
765
00:39:37,458 --> 00:39:38,458
Yep. Thanks.
766
00:39:38,541 --> 00:39:40,291
I've got an app
that will ping your assistant,
767
00:39:40,375 --> 00:39:42,416
let you know when you're running late.
I'll send it to you.
768
00:39:42,500 --> 00:39:44,041
-Great.
-Okay. Thank you.
769
00:39:46,375 --> 00:39:49,041
Hey, so that dress is really…
770
00:39:50,291 --> 00:39:51,291
Hmm?
771
00:39:51,375 --> 00:39:53,500
-Her shoulder is so bare.
-You see the full--
772
00:39:53,583 --> 00:39:55,000
-You see her full shoulder.
-Yeah.
773
00:39:55,083 --> 00:39:58,333
-They grow up so fast, don't they?
-Oh, Gavin. What are you doing here?
774
00:39:58,416 --> 00:40:00,833
Well, it's Christmas Eve. It's the day
that everybody goes to church.
775
00:40:00,916 --> 00:40:01,916
-Am I right?
-Yeah.
776
00:40:02,000 --> 00:40:05,083
Peace be unto you. Peace be unto you.
Is that how you say it? Peace be unto--
777
00:40:05,166 --> 00:40:06,166
Oh, this is nice.
778
00:40:28,000 --> 00:40:30,333
You dudes have been ghosting me.
What up with that?
779
00:40:30,916 --> 00:40:32,833
-No, we're--
-But I've got some news.
780
00:40:32,916 --> 00:40:35,416
Houston, we have an offer.
781
00:40:36,000 --> 00:40:37,208
-What?
-Um. [clears throat]
782
00:40:37,916 --> 00:40:41,541
Um, it's an offer for your dad's,
uh, personal training.
783
00:40:41,625 --> 00:40:43,541
And since you already paid
for that jelly belly,
784
00:40:43,625 --> 00:40:46,000
I'm gonna throw in some abs and thighs.
That's what that is.
785
00:40:46,583 --> 00:40:48,291
-Thank you.
-Great.
786
00:40:48,375 --> 00:40:54,291
Hey, Chris, honey, why don't you go
put that, uh, toy in the toy-drive area.
787
00:40:54,375 --> 00:40:56,750
Yeah, we're so proud of you.
We really are.
788
00:40:58,291 --> 00:40:59,291
[gasps]
789
00:41:00,625 --> 00:41:03,916
Well, I'm definitely a child in need.
Need of this.
790
00:41:04,000 --> 00:41:05,375
-Can I help you?
-Oh, yes.
791
00:41:05,458 --> 00:41:07,208
Can I get a shopping cart, please?
792
00:41:07,291 --> 00:41:09,208
-Mmm?
-Shopping cart.
793
00:41:10,333 --> 00:41:11,666
Oh! [laughs]
794
00:41:11,750 --> 00:41:13,083
No, sweetheart.
795
00:41:13,166 --> 00:41:16,541
These toys are for children
less fortunate than you.
796
00:41:16,625 --> 00:41:20,333
Ah, okay.
Thought it was too good to be true.
797
00:41:20,416 --> 00:41:22,125
[Max] Whoa, cool.
798
00:41:22,208 --> 00:41:23,791
Thank you, young man.
799
00:41:23,875 --> 00:41:27,875
And I hope you both have a very,
very happy Christmas.
800
00:41:27,958 --> 00:41:30,541
-That's unlikely.
-Why? What's wrong? Parent trouble?
801
00:41:30,625 --> 00:41:31,791
[sighs] Yeah.
802
00:41:31,875 --> 00:41:33,208
[scoffs] Tell me about it.
803
00:41:33,291 --> 00:41:35,416
They think I don't notice
that they're stressed,
804
00:41:35,500 --> 00:41:37,041
but it's super obvious.
805
00:41:37,125 --> 00:41:40,916
Some weird guy keeps showing up
pretending to be a personal trainer.
806
00:41:41,000 --> 00:41:43,000
So? What do you say?
807
00:41:43,083 --> 00:41:45,458
-What-- Who-- Who made this offer?
-Oh, the Breckins.
808
00:41:45,541 --> 00:41:47,541
Remember the young couple from the city?
809
00:41:47,625 --> 00:41:50,625
Yeah, so they need to sign the contract
before the new year.
810
00:41:50,708 --> 00:41:52,625
Something about a tax thing.
811
00:41:52,708 --> 00:41:54,875
-We can't do that.
-That's impossible.
812
00:41:54,958 --> 00:41:57,625
Yeah, rich people. Am I right?
We're the worst.
813
00:41:58,208 --> 00:42:01,916
[sighs] But listen, we're not gonna get
a better offer than this.
814
00:42:02,000 --> 00:42:05,416
So, why don't you take the holiday,
think it over and get back to me.
815
00:42:05,500 --> 00:42:08,833
All right? No presh.
Well, maybe a little presh.
816
00:42:08,916 --> 00:42:12,083
[chuckles] All right, you know,
it's a lot of presh, actually.
817
00:42:12,166 --> 00:42:14,166
All right, cool. Merry Christmas.
818
00:42:14,250 --> 00:42:16,750
You know what? Can I give you
a couple of my business cards?
819
00:42:16,833 --> 00:42:18,958
Yeah. Gavin Washington. I do real estate.
820
00:42:19,041 --> 00:42:21,083
At least you're with your mum and dad.
821
00:42:21,166 --> 00:42:24,291
Mine have gone to Tokyo.
I'm totally on my own.
822
00:42:24,375 --> 00:42:25,916
That's the coolest thing ever.
823
00:42:26,000 --> 00:42:31,000
I thought it would be,
and for about an hour, it was.
824
00:42:31,083 --> 00:42:34,833
But now I'm just lonely.
825
00:42:35,541 --> 00:42:37,708
Here. Have this.
826
00:42:37,791 --> 00:42:40,208
Sounds like you deserve it
as much as anybody.
827
00:42:40,291 --> 00:42:42,416
-Merry Christmas.
-You too.
828
00:42:42,500 --> 00:42:45,708
Enjoy it with your family.
That's what makes it special.
829
00:42:48,625 --> 00:42:49,750
Nice kid.
830
00:42:51,250 --> 00:42:55,125
Thank you. You're a kind little boy.
831
00:42:55,208 --> 00:42:58,958
I think that Santa's gonna bring you
everything you want this year.
832
00:42:59,041 --> 00:43:02,083
That'd be nice, but to be honest,
833
00:43:02,166 --> 00:43:05,291
all I really want is my mum and dad back.
834
00:43:05,375 --> 00:43:09,083
Oh, dear. Well, when did you lose them?
835
00:43:09,166 --> 00:43:11,000
Um, two days ago.
836
00:43:11,083 --> 00:43:15,833
Oh. Right at Christmas?
You poor little thing.
837
00:43:15,916 --> 00:43:17,791
[stammers] But who's taking care of you?
838
00:43:17,875 --> 00:43:22,416
Uh, it's just me and Goobie at home,
but we're getting by all right.
839
00:43:22,500 --> 00:43:25,333
[priest] For Zion's sake,
I will not keep silent…
840
00:43:25,416 --> 00:43:27,125
Pam. Pam, it's the kid.
841
00:43:27,750 --> 00:43:29,041
[Pam gasps]
842
00:43:29,708 --> 00:43:32,625
You're right. It is. Who's the old lady?
843
00:43:33,291 --> 00:43:35,500
Oh, at the open house, the kid's mom said
844
00:43:35,583 --> 00:43:38,625
she was gonna leave the kid behind
with the grandmother.
845
00:43:38,708 --> 00:43:40,666
I can't believe
she went through with that.
846
00:43:40,750 --> 00:43:43,833
So grandma's the German.
847
00:43:43,916 --> 00:43:46,166
Grandma's the German.
848
00:43:48,125 --> 00:43:49,833
[Jeff] All right. So what's the plan?
849
00:43:49,916 --> 00:43:53,791
It's perfect. We go now while
they're not home and get our doll back.
850
00:43:53,875 --> 00:43:57,333
The way old ladies drive, we'll be in
and out before they leave the parking lot.
851
00:43:58,166 --> 00:44:01,541
[tires screeching]
852
00:44:02,125 --> 00:44:05,333
Wow, I need to come to church more often.
853
00:44:14,375 --> 00:44:15,416
[people chatter]
854
00:44:18,833 --> 00:44:20,625
[Pam] The street's too hot right now.
855
00:44:20,708 --> 00:44:22,083
We'll wait till it gets dark.
856
00:44:22,166 --> 00:44:23,583
We'll go around back.
857
00:44:24,208 --> 00:44:26,208
Okay, Axel Foley.
858
00:44:26,708 --> 00:44:27,750
[crowd chatters]
859
00:44:27,833 --> 00:44:30,916
[PA: ticket agent]
Standby... [continues in Japanese]
860
00:44:31,000 --> 00:44:32,583
[baby laughing]
861
00:44:34,833 --> 00:44:37,125
[baby babbling, laughing]
862
00:44:38,666 --> 00:44:44,750
-[PA system dings]
-Standby. [continues in Japanese]
863
00:44:44,833 --> 00:44:46,875
-Sorry, did you just hear stand-- standby?
-Huh?
864
00:44:47,458 --> 00:44:51,916
Sorry, sorry, sorry. Excuse me, excuse me,
excuse me. Sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry.
865
00:44:52,000 --> 00:44:53,041
Um…
866
00:44:54,875 --> 00:44:57,458
Sorry, uh, sorry. Uh, konnichiwa .
867
00:44:57,541 --> 00:44:58,625
[stammers]
868
00:44:58,708 --> 00:45:03,250
When will the-- [stammers]
the stand-- the standby seats,
869
00:45:03,333 --> 00:45:05,500
um, be announced? When?
870
00:45:05,583 --> 00:45:06,833
A-Announced?
871
00:45:06,916 --> 00:45:08,500
[microphone feedback]
872
00:45:08,583 --> 00:45:12,375
Ma'am, I'd be more than happy to help you
after you stand in the line behind you.
873
00:45:12,458 --> 00:45:14,583
Thank you, and happy season.
874
00:45:16,333 --> 00:45:20,166
I am trying to get home to my son,
875
00:45:20,250 --> 00:45:23,333
who's alone and scared,
and he needs his mother.
876
00:45:23,416 --> 00:45:25,791
So I need you to answer my question
right now.
877
00:45:28,041 --> 00:45:31,250
Standby seat assignments will be announced
after the check-in window closes
878
00:45:31,333 --> 00:45:33,500
approximately one hour before departure.
879
00:45:35,458 --> 00:45:36,583
Thank you.
880
00:45:37,083 --> 00:45:38,083
And sorry.
881
00:45:38,916 --> 00:45:39,958
And sorry.
882
00:45:40,041 --> 00:45:43,958
Oh, not a problem.
Thank you for flying with us.
883
00:45:45,666 --> 00:45:46,666
Hi.
884
00:45:47,291 --> 00:45:48,500
So we're doing this?
885
00:45:48,583 --> 00:45:49,958
Yeah, just act casual.
886
00:45:51,500 --> 00:45:52,916
-Just going for a walk.
-Yeah.
887
00:45:53,000 --> 00:45:57,208
[Jeff] It's just a stroll through
people's backyards a-at night.
888
00:45:57,291 --> 00:45:59,208
Through some undergrowth.
889
00:45:59,291 --> 00:46:01,500
-It's the most natural thing in the world.
-Yeah.
890
00:46:04,208 --> 00:46:06,000
[Jeff] Do you know where you're going?
891
00:46:06,083 --> 00:46:07,666
Yes. Now follow me.
892
00:46:09,083 --> 00:46:12,083
[priest] …you shall be a crown of beauty
in the hands of the Lord.
893
00:46:12,166 --> 00:46:13,375
-[phone beeps]
-Hey, where are they?
894
00:46:13,458 --> 00:46:16,791
"Forgot to preheat the oven.
Be back soon."
895
00:46:17,375 --> 00:46:19,666
-That's a two-person job?
-I don't know.
896
00:46:19,750 --> 00:46:21,500
-[woman] Shh.
-Oh, look. It's starting.
897
00:46:21,583 --> 00:46:24,458
-Oh, here we go.
-Oh, look at Abby. She looks so good.
898
00:46:24,541 --> 00:46:26,750
[choir singing] ♪ O, holy night! ♪
899
00:46:26,833 --> 00:46:31,375
♪ The stars are brightly shining ♪
900
00:46:31,458 --> 00:46:33,291
♪ It is the night… ♪
901
00:46:33,375 --> 00:46:34,375
This is it.
902
00:46:34,458 --> 00:46:38,750
♪ Of the dear Savior's birth ♪
903
00:46:38,833 --> 00:46:40,625
[Jeff] Why's the wall so high?
904
00:46:40,708 --> 00:46:43,416
It's not like it's Buckingham Palace.
905
00:46:43,500 --> 00:46:45,416
Okay. Here's what we'll do.
906
00:46:45,500 --> 00:46:48,708
I'm gonna boost you up, and then when you
get to the top, you'll lift me up.
907
00:46:48,791 --> 00:46:50,833
-Do you think you can do that?
-Yeah.
908
00:46:50,916 --> 00:46:51,916
Okay.
909
00:46:52,000 --> 00:46:53,833
-[Jeff grunts]
-Okay, okay.
910
00:46:53,916 --> 00:46:54,916
[Pam] Okay. Ready?
911
00:46:55,000 --> 00:46:56,541
-[Pam] Okay.
-[both groan]
912
00:46:56,625 --> 00:47:00,916
♪ Fall on your knees ♪
913
00:47:01,000 --> 00:47:02,833
-[Pam grunting]
-[grunts]
914
00:47:02,916 --> 00:47:04,833
[Jeff speaks indistinctly] Just-- Whoa!
915
00:47:04,916 --> 00:47:06,291
-[Pam] Just-- Ow!
-[grunts]
916
00:47:06,375 --> 00:47:09,833
♪ The angel voices ♪
917
00:47:09,916 --> 00:47:11,583
[Pam grunts] Okay. Just--
918
00:47:14,500 --> 00:47:16,458
-[Jeff] One, two.
-[Pam grunting]
919
00:47:16,541 --> 00:47:17,708
[Jeff farts]
920
00:47:17,791 --> 00:47:19,208
-Oh, my God.
-I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
921
00:47:19,291 --> 00:47:21,166
-I'm sorry.
-[Pam retches]
922
00:47:22,125 --> 00:47:23,500
Just get up there.
923
00:47:24,083 --> 00:47:26,541
[sighs] Okay. Three.
924
00:47:26,625 --> 00:47:27,833
[both grunt]
925
00:47:28,916 --> 00:47:31,000
-[Jeff] Now climb up me.
-Okay.
926
00:47:31,083 --> 00:47:32,666
[Pam grunting]
927
00:47:35,041 --> 00:47:37,958
-[Pam pants, grunts]
-[Jeff] Oh, no!
928
00:47:38,041 --> 00:47:40,166
[grunts]
929
00:47:40,958 --> 00:47:43,250
[Jeff straining]
930
00:47:43,333 --> 00:47:46,958
[Jeff screams, grunts]
931
00:47:47,041 --> 00:47:48,458
[Jeff] Take my hand.
932
00:47:49,041 --> 00:47:52,541
-[Pam grunts]
-[Jeff screams]
933
00:47:52,625 --> 00:47:54,416
[grunts]
934
00:47:54,500 --> 00:47:57,833
♪ His power ♪
935
00:47:58,416 --> 00:47:59,875
Get up there.
936
00:47:59,958 --> 00:48:01,875
♪ And glory ♪
937
00:48:01,958 --> 00:48:04,666
[both groaning]
938
00:48:04,750 --> 00:48:05,958
Okay.
939
00:48:06,541 --> 00:48:07,541
I'm nearly up.
940
00:48:08,625 --> 00:48:10,541
[both grunt]
941
00:48:11,541 --> 00:48:12,750
[grunts]
942
00:48:12,833 --> 00:48:14,000
[sighs]
943
00:48:16,958 --> 00:48:18,458
[whimpers]
944
00:48:18,541 --> 00:48:19,791
[sighs]
945
00:48:21,625 --> 00:48:23,791
-It's okay, Pam. I-- [screams]
-[singing fades]
946
00:48:24,541 --> 00:48:25,750
[grunts]
947
00:48:26,791 --> 00:48:28,000
Oh.
948
00:48:28,083 --> 00:48:29,250
A gate.
949
00:48:31,833 --> 00:48:34,375
[Jeff grunting]
950
00:48:35,916 --> 00:48:36,916
Oh.
951
00:48:37,000 --> 00:48:39,125
[Jeff] A side gate? Really?
952
00:48:39,833 --> 00:48:42,416
I'm sorry, but it's not like
you saw the gate either.
953
00:48:42,500 --> 00:48:45,208
[groans] Oh, I'm-- I'm fine by the way.
Thank you.
954
00:48:51,916 --> 00:48:53,375
Come on.
955
00:48:55,000 --> 00:48:56,333
[sighs]
956
00:48:59,083 --> 00:49:00,583
-[speaks indistinctly]
-[Jeff] What?
957
00:49:04,291 --> 00:49:05,416
[phone beeps]
958
00:49:07,083 --> 00:49:09,625
[choir singing]
959
00:49:09,708 --> 00:49:11,750
Oh.
960
00:49:11,833 --> 00:49:13,708
[Pam] That's our little girl.
961
00:49:13,791 --> 00:49:15,541
[choir continues]
962
00:49:15,625 --> 00:49:17,458
-Try the door.
-Okay.
963
00:49:26,125 --> 00:49:30,250
"…the difference being
that the clothes are made to fit you,
964
00:49:30,333 --> 00:49:32,000
while you have to be made
to fit the tree."
965
00:49:32,083 --> 00:49:34,125
[woman] Better not
let your father hear you say that.
966
00:49:34,208 --> 00:49:35,333
Okay, Mom.
967
00:49:35,416 --> 00:49:37,208
[man] "…wanted to with their buckets.
968
00:49:37,291 --> 00:49:40,375
And how ardently they grew to love their…"
969
00:49:44,041 --> 00:49:47,500
-[sighs] The wrong house. That's on me.
-Yeah, yeah. I get the sense it was.
970
00:49:47,583 --> 00:49:49,041
Okay, let's just go next door.
971
00:49:49,125 --> 00:49:51,125
That's where he lives.
We're gonna check it out.
972
00:49:52,541 --> 00:49:56,000
[both screaming]
973
00:49:58,250 --> 00:50:00,333
We're in a swimming pool! [screams]
974
00:50:00,416 --> 00:50:02,250
We're freezing! [screams]
975
00:50:02,333 --> 00:50:05,333
[Pam] Pulling you up! Come here! [screams]
976
00:50:05,416 --> 00:50:07,708
-[Pam] Come on!
-[Pam and Jeff grunting]
977
00:50:07,791 --> 00:50:09,833
-[Pam] What should I do?
-Get on my back!
978
00:50:09,916 --> 00:50:11,791
[both groaning, screaming]
979
00:50:14,791 --> 00:50:18,083
[man] "…one step, they leapt
into the sky toward Neverland."
980
00:50:18,166 --> 00:50:20,541
Why are man and lady drowning?
981
00:50:20,625 --> 00:50:23,375
No. They're not drowning.
They're in the sky flying.
982
00:50:23,458 --> 00:50:26,583
-[Jeff] Okay.
-[Pam] I'm up. I'm up. Okay.
983
00:50:28,166 --> 00:50:29,958
Swim. Swim to me.
984
00:50:30,041 --> 00:50:31,125
[Jeff grunts]
985
00:50:31,208 --> 00:50:32,208
[Pam] I got you.
986
00:50:32,791 --> 00:50:34,583
[Pam] Pull you up. Come here.
987
00:50:35,250 --> 00:50:36,791
[both grunting]
988
00:50:36,875 --> 00:50:38,333
[Pam grunts] And you're out.
989
00:50:38,416 --> 00:50:40,875
[both panting]
990
00:50:49,166 --> 00:50:50,583
What are we doing?
991
00:50:51,458 --> 00:50:52,666
I am a teacher.
992
00:50:53,625 --> 00:50:54,833
You're a data…
993
00:50:56,291 --> 00:50:58,958
-[Pam stammers] ...manager.
-Migration manager.
994
00:51:01,000 --> 00:51:03,791
Maybe the universe is trying to
tell us something, you know?
995
00:51:03,875 --> 00:51:06,166
I mean, maybe we
should just cut our losses.
996
00:51:06,250 --> 00:51:07,833
-[Jeff screams]
-[Pam grunts]
997
00:51:07,916 --> 00:51:10,208
-[grunts, pants]
-[Jeff grunts]
998
00:51:10,291 --> 00:51:13,833
[both grunting, panting]
999
00:51:16,333 --> 00:51:17,333
No.
1000
00:51:18,208 --> 00:51:19,583
We're not giving up.
1001
00:51:20,208 --> 00:51:21,583
We need a W, Pam.
1002
00:51:23,625 --> 00:51:25,041
A win.
1003
00:51:25,625 --> 00:51:26,666
Yeah.
1004
00:51:27,791 --> 00:51:29,250
We do deserve a W.
1005
00:51:31,000 --> 00:51:32,833
We're good people, Pam.
1006
00:51:32,916 --> 00:51:35,750
And we're gonna lose our home
because Harry stinkin' Potter
1007
00:51:35,833 --> 00:51:39,583
comes into our house and steals
the only thing that can fix our problems.
1008
00:51:40,625 --> 00:51:43,583
No. That's an injustice.
1009
00:51:44,958 --> 00:51:46,875
Yeah. That's not fair.
1010
00:51:46,958 --> 00:51:51,083
And-- And who are we if we give up now?
I mean, what do we say to our kids?
1011
00:51:51,166 --> 00:51:53,000
"Oh, sorry we flushed your life
down the toilet,
1012
00:51:53,083 --> 00:51:56,000
but life kept smacking us down
with klepto kids
1013
00:51:56,083 --> 00:51:59,250
and German grandmothers
and the stupid cloud."
1014
00:51:59,958 --> 00:52:02,625
I hate you, cloud.
1015
00:52:02,708 --> 00:52:04,125
Enough is enough.
1016
00:52:04,750 --> 00:52:10,416
Our W, our family's W, is in that house,
and we're gonna get it.
1017
00:52:10,500 --> 00:52:13,041
Right now.
1018
00:52:13,708 --> 00:52:15,666
Well, I don't know about right now.
Becau--
1019
00:52:15,750 --> 00:52:17,458
I mean, they could come home
at any second.
1020
00:52:17,541 --> 00:52:20,166
Also, my pants are starting to freeze.
1021
00:52:20,250 --> 00:52:21,750
Oh, mine too.
1022
00:52:22,833 --> 00:52:24,000
Like, I don't feel that.
1023
00:52:25,125 --> 00:52:26,333
At all.
1024
00:52:26,416 --> 00:52:30,333
So let's come back later, you know?
Like after dinner, after b-bedtime even.
1025
00:52:30,416 --> 00:52:33,791
Midnight, you know? Like after--
after the old lady's gone to sleep.
1026
00:52:33,875 --> 00:52:35,541
Yeah, but what if the kid wakes up?
1027
00:52:35,625 --> 00:52:37,166
You know, kids are always running down
1028
00:52:37,250 --> 00:52:39,375
in the middle of the night
to see if Santa came.
1029
00:52:40,708 --> 00:52:42,125
What if I dress as Santa?
1030
00:52:43,333 --> 00:52:45,708
He'll think I'm just Saint Nick.
1031
00:52:45,791 --> 00:52:47,250
But this Santa's gonna be leaving
1032
00:52:47,333 --> 00:52:50,666
with that $200,000 ugly little boy
in his sack.
1033
00:52:51,375 --> 00:52:53,416
And that's how we win. [chuckles]
1034
00:52:54,416 --> 00:52:57,708
Okay. Midnight it is, Mr. Claus.
1035
00:53:06,958 --> 00:53:09,958
I'm not spending my best years
in some old lady's bedroom.
1036
00:53:10,541 --> 00:53:12,875
-Homebot, search good booby traps.
-[Homebot beeps]
1037
00:53:12,958 --> 00:53:17,083
[Homebot] I'm sorry, the parental controls
of this system restrict the term "booby."
1038
00:53:17,166 --> 00:53:18,458
Never mind.
1039
00:53:19,958 --> 00:53:22,750
-I love this dress.
-Ollie, Ollie, what is that?
1040
00:53:22,833 --> 00:53:24,875
-Hey, did you take that from the church?
-Oh?
1041
00:53:24,958 --> 00:53:25,958
What--
1042
00:53:26,458 --> 00:53:27,708
Oh.
1043
00:53:27,791 --> 00:53:30,916
[chuckling] Mom, Dad, where were you?
1044
00:53:31,000 --> 00:53:32,541
And wha-- what happened?
1045
00:53:32,625 --> 00:53:36,125
A car drove through a puddle
and splashed us.
1046
00:53:36,208 --> 00:53:37,625
[Mei] What is--
1047
00:53:37,708 --> 00:53:39,458
-Yuck.
-[chuckles] Imagine that.
1048
00:53:40,291 --> 00:53:41,500
-Ew.
-[Hunter] Hmm.
1049
00:53:42,083 --> 00:53:43,958
Well, we should get dinner ready, huh?
1050
00:53:44,041 --> 00:53:45,083
Yeah.
1051
00:53:48,291 --> 00:53:49,791
[airplane dings]
1052
00:54:13,250 --> 00:54:15,291
-Sorry.
-Am I looking at your screen?
1053
00:54:15,375 --> 00:54:16,708
-Yes.
-Oh, okay.
1054
00:54:16,791 --> 00:54:18,708
-Yes.
-I didn't even realize I'm doing it.
1055
00:54:18,791 --> 00:54:20,666
-[chuckles] Classic.
-[chuckling] Yeah.
1056
00:54:28,291 --> 00:54:30,291
-Sorry, you're doing it again.
-I'm still doing it?
1057
00:54:30,375 --> 00:54:32,416
-Yes.
-I just-- I just can't help it, you know?
1058
00:54:32,500 --> 00:54:34,708
This is my screen,
and that's your screen, so…
1059
00:54:34,791 --> 00:54:37,708
-No, I know that. I know how screens work.
-Yeah.
1060
00:54:38,333 --> 00:54:40,625
You know they got TV and films on there?
1061
00:54:40,708 --> 00:54:43,708
Yep, yep, fully aware.
I'm just, um, eager to get home.
1062
00:54:44,291 --> 00:54:46,708
It's like watching a watched pot, though.
It's not gonna boil.
1063
00:54:46,791 --> 00:54:49,958
Yeah, well, it might one day.
1064
00:54:50,041 --> 00:54:51,250
Okay.
1065
00:54:51,333 --> 00:54:53,750
-I'll just get some sleep.
-Thank you.
1066
00:54:53,833 --> 00:54:56,375
-Would you like some of my blanket? Okay.
-No.
1067
00:55:01,833 --> 00:55:04,583
-Sorry. I'm sorry.
-Apology accepted.
1068
00:55:09,416 --> 00:55:12,083
So, Mei wanted to spend Christmas
in Hawaii this year,
1069
00:55:12,166 --> 00:55:14,375
but I told her, we just gotta suck it up
and come here
1070
00:55:14,458 --> 00:55:16,333
because I knew you guys
would appreciate it.
1071
00:55:16,416 --> 00:55:17,958
[speaking in German]
1072
00:55:45,458 --> 00:55:47,541
He could be a model, and he's only--
1073
00:55:47,625 --> 00:55:50,708
-How old are you? Four, right?
-[Jeff] Like a runway model?
1074
00:55:50,791 --> 00:55:55,041
[Mei] Any kind of model. They say he has
an incredible body for a boy his age.
1075
00:56:24,250 --> 00:56:26,958
♪ Christmas time, so full of cheer ♪
1076
00:56:27,041 --> 00:56:29,500
♪ But not for the children
Who live in fear ♪
1077
00:56:29,583 --> 00:56:32,625
♪ 'Cause it ain't about gifts and toys ♪
1078
00:56:32,708 --> 00:56:36,583
♪ For less fortunate girls and boys ♪
1079
00:56:53,666 --> 00:56:56,291
[Mei singing]
♪ In a world so full of famine and wars ♪
1080
00:56:56,375 --> 00:56:59,000
♪ We all need a little more Santa Claus ♪
1081
00:57:11,250 --> 00:57:13,125
-Here you go. Just for the kids.
-Chris.
1082
00:57:14,166 --> 00:57:16,166
-[Chris and Abby gasp]
-No.
1083
00:57:16,250 --> 00:57:18,083
That's not the most expensive thing
we bought you.
1084
00:57:18,166 --> 00:57:20,041
[Pam] We can't keep those. Thank you.
1085
00:57:49,875 --> 00:57:51,416
[yawns]
1086
00:57:52,333 --> 00:57:55,125
Oh, look at those snuggly,
little elves all ready for bed.
1087
00:57:55,208 --> 00:57:58,041
Only a half-hour left till Christmas.
See you in the morning.
1088
00:57:59,250 --> 00:58:01,333
-[footsteps depart]
-[door closes]
1089
00:58:17,458 --> 00:58:19,250
Locked and loaded.
1090
00:58:20,125 --> 00:58:21,375
[Pam] Okay, we have a plan.
1091
00:58:21,458 --> 00:58:24,833
If we stick to it, we'll be back
before anyone will even notice.
1092
00:58:26,791 --> 00:58:28,750
-Honey, slow down.
-[tires screech]
1093
00:58:29,708 --> 00:58:30,916
Babe, slow down.
1094
00:58:31,000 --> 00:58:33,333
I'm trying. It's so icy.
1095
00:58:33,416 --> 00:58:34,541
[Pam] Put on the brakes!
1096
00:58:34,625 --> 00:58:36,875
-Steer into the slide.
-No.
1097
00:58:36,958 --> 00:58:40,333
You pump into a slide,
and you steer into a skid.
1098
00:58:40,416 --> 00:58:42,000
-Which one is this?
-I'm not sure.
1099
00:58:42,083 --> 00:58:43,875
-[tires screech]
-[both scream]
1100
00:58:44,958 --> 00:58:46,833
[both yell]
1101
00:58:46,916 --> 00:58:49,208
[Jeff grunts]
1102
00:58:49,291 --> 00:58:50,875
[chuckles] Yes.
1103
00:58:51,375 --> 00:58:55,000
-[both groaning]
-[airbags squeal]
1104
00:58:55,083 --> 00:58:57,458
-Okay.
-[Jeff] Okay. It's all over.
1105
00:58:58,541 --> 00:59:00,541
-Could've been worse. Could've--
-Yeah.
1106
00:59:00,625 --> 00:59:01,750
[both scream]
1107
00:59:01,833 --> 00:59:03,041
[laughs]
1108
00:59:04,208 --> 00:59:05,375
[sighs]
1109
00:59:10,250 --> 00:59:11,291
[Jeff clears throat]
1110
00:59:11,375 --> 00:59:15,291
Okay. Let's shake that off and focus.
1111
00:59:16,041 --> 00:59:18,208
[Pam] We are doing this.
1112
00:59:18,291 --> 00:59:20,041
[Jeff] We are doing it.
1113
00:59:21,000 --> 00:59:22,666
We'll be in and out before you--
1114
00:59:22,750 --> 00:59:23,833
-[screams]
-[Pam grunts]
1115
00:59:23,916 --> 00:59:24,833
[winces]
1116
00:59:24,916 --> 00:59:27,833
-This is not going well.
-[groans]
1117
00:59:28,666 --> 00:59:30,500
I think I shattered my coccyx.
1118
00:59:30,583 --> 00:59:31,750
[Pam grunts]
1119
00:59:31,833 --> 00:59:34,000
-Be careful, Jeff. It's slippery.
-[groans]
1120
00:59:34,875 --> 00:59:37,666
-Oh, really? Thanks for letting me know.
-[grunts]
1121
00:59:37,750 --> 00:59:41,250
[both grunt, groan]
1122
00:59:42,791 --> 00:59:44,833
[Jeff]
I think I've worked out a good method.
1123
00:59:46,791 --> 00:59:47,791
How are you doing?
1124
00:59:47,875 --> 00:59:49,208
[Pam] Good. I'm getting there.
1125
00:59:49,291 --> 00:59:50,875
-I'm gonna make it.
-[Jeff grunts]
1126
00:59:51,541 --> 00:59:53,000
All right. I'm doing this.
1127
00:59:53,083 --> 01:00:00,083
-I'm right behind you, babe. [yelling]
-One more step and I got [elongated] it.
1128
01:00:00,708 --> 01:00:02,791
-[Jeff] Save me!
-Okay. I got you.
1129
01:00:09,375 --> 01:00:10,375
[Jeff groans]
1130
01:00:11,666 --> 01:00:14,041
[shouts] The motion sensor.
1131
01:00:14,125 --> 01:00:16,083
-Hide.
-[Jeff] Why is it so bright?
1132
01:00:17,041 --> 01:00:18,000
Why is it so dark?
1133
01:00:18,916 --> 01:00:20,208
[grunts, groans]
1134
01:00:20,291 --> 01:00:21,791
[chuckles]
1135
01:00:26,583 --> 01:00:28,250
[screams, groans]
1136
01:00:28,333 --> 01:00:29,416
[groans]
1137
01:00:29,500 --> 01:00:31,208
Come over here, honey. Come over here.
1138
01:00:31,291 --> 01:00:32,500
-Okay.
-Quick, quick.
1139
01:00:32,583 --> 01:00:34,125
[screams, grunts]
1140
01:00:34,208 --> 01:00:35,333
-[Pam] Oh!
-[Jeff grunts]
1141
01:00:35,416 --> 01:00:37,291
Yes! [chuckles]
1142
01:00:37,375 --> 01:00:39,666
What's the lumen count on that thing?
1143
01:00:39,750 --> 01:00:41,083
Oh, man.
1144
01:00:41,166 --> 01:00:44,375
Hey, what if they're awake?
1145
01:00:47,166 --> 01:00:48,250
Wait here.
1146
01:00:49,125 --> 01:00:50,208
-[Pam grunts]
-[Jeff] Oh.
1147
01:00:50,833 --> 01:00:51,833
[chuckles]
1148
01:00:53,208 --> 01:00:54,583
Now it's re-tangling.
1149
01:00:54,666 --> 01:00:56,166
Go the other way. Now turn. Face.
1150
01:00:56,250 --> 01:00:58,250
-It's getting more wrapped up.
-Rotate.
1151
01:00:59,250 --> 01:01:01,208
-[Pam] You're not helping.
-[Jeff] Yes, I am.
1152
01:01:01,916 --> 01:01:03,375
-Okay. Yeah, I did it.
-Okay.
1153
01:01:07,375 --> 01:01:08,625
I'm going round back.
1154
01:01:16,208 --> 01:01:17,416
Aw.
1155
01:01:24,375 --> 01:01:28,000
[Jeff] "Dear Santa. I tried waiting up
for you, but I'm too sleepy.
1156
01:01:28,083 --> 01:01:29,458
Come on in!"
1157
01:01:29,541 --> 01:01:32,458
[chuckles] Aw.
1158
01:01:36,708 --> 01:01:37,708
Mmm.
1159
01:01:42,083 --> 01:01:43,291
[grunts]
1160
01:01:44,625 --> 01:01:46,916
[gags] Milk hot!
1161
01:01:47,625 --> 01:01:49,041
Why milk hot?
1162
01:01:49,125 --> 01:01:50,416
[screams]
1163
01:01:50,500 --> 01:01:52,833
[grunting]
1164
01:01:58,666 --> 01:01:59,708
[soda fizzes]
1165
01:02:02,291 --> 01:02:03,916
[soda bubbles, fizzes]
1166
01:02:04,000 --> 01:02:06,458
[soda bubbling]
1167
01:02:09,666 --> 01:02:12,833
[soda fizzing]
1168
01:02:14,083 --> 01:02:15,750
[soda fizzes]
1169
01:02:16,541 --> 01:02:17,541
Hmm.
1170
01:02:20,166 --> 01:02:22,125
[screaming]
1171
01:02:22,208 --> 01:02:23,125
[laughs]
1172
01:02:24,375 --> 01:02:25,791
Bombs away.
1173
01:02:27,875 --> 01:02:29,625
Stop! Stop!
1174
01:02:29,708 --> 01:02:33,625
[Pam grunting]
1175
01:02:34,208 --> 01:02:37,250
You know, I guess my mum was right.
Soda is bad for you.
1176
01:02:37,333 --> 01:02:39,708
Wait! We just want our doll-- [grunts]
1177
01:02:39,791 --> 01:02:41,958
Stop! We can talk.
1178
01:02:42,458 --> 01:02:43,666
[grunts] We just want our--
1179
01:02:45,750 --> 01:02:46,916
[grunts]
1180
01:02:47,000 --> 01:02:49,291
How the heck do you have so much soda?
1181
01:02:49,375 --> 01:02:52,708
My parents buy in bulk.
It's more cost effective.
1182
01:02:54,250 --> 01:02:57,958
And forget about taking
this $200,000 ugly boy.
1183
01:02:59,000 --> 01:03:00,416
We're not here to hurt you.
1184
01:03:01,458 --> 01:03:05,708
Please, just calm down,
and we can talk about this rationally.
1185
01:03:07,625 --> 01:03:10,000
So easy on the soda, okay?
1186
01:03:10,083 --> 01:03:13,083
Ah. [screams]
1187
01:03:13,166 --> 01:03:16,833
[whimpers]
1188
01:03:16,916 --> 01:03:19,958
[screams]
1189
01:03:20,041 --> 01:03:21,125
[whimpers]
1190
01:03:21,208 --> 01:03:22,625
Ouch! Ouch!
1191
01:03:22,708 --> 01:03:24,833
Ow! Ow! Ooh!
1192
01:03:24,916 --> 01:03:26,791
[grunting]
1193
01:03:26,875 --> 01:03:29,958
[pants]
1194
01:03:38,375 --> 01:03:39,833
[machine beeps]
1195
01:03:43,041 --> 01:03:45,416
[alarm blaring]
1196
01:03:45,500 --> 01:03:46,583
[electronic voice] Alarm!
1197
01:03:48,250 --> 01:03:50,166
One, one, one, two--
1198
01:03:50,250 --> 01:03:51,250
[groaning, cries]
1199
01:03:51,333 --> 01:03:52,791
-[keypad beeps]
-[alarm stops]
1200
01:03:53,791 --> 01:03:56,625
Santa? Is that you?
1201
01:03:56,708 --> 01:03:58,083
[groans]
1202
01:03:58,166 --> 01:04:01,625
Ho! Ho! Ho! How are you, little boy?
1203
01:04:01,708 --> 01:04:03,666
Orange stripe, center pocket.
1204
01:04:03,750 --> 01:04:04,791
No!
1205
01:04:04,875 --> 01:04:05,875
[grunts]
1206
01:04:08,041 --> 01:04:11,625
Ooh! That did not sound right. [chuckles]
1207
01:04:19,916 --> 01:04:20,916
[pants]
1208
01:04:33,625 --> 01:04:37,791
[grunting]
1209
01:04:37,875 --> 01:04:41,083
So hot and so cold
at the same time. [cries]
1210
01:04:43,541 --> 01:04:44,541
Jeff?
1211
01:04:45,875 --> 01:04:47,250
Jeff!
1212
01:04:53,041 --> 01:04:54,041
[grunts]
1213
01:04:55,625 --> 01:04:56,791
Where am I?
1214
01:04:56,875 --> 01:05:00,458
-[Jeff gasps] What? This-- [whimpers]
-[dogs barking]
1215
01:05:00,541 --> 01:05:02,250
-[Jeff] I'm scared.
-[bird shrieks]
1216
01:05:04,541 --> 01:05:05,791
What is this?
1217
01:05:07,166 --> 01:05:08,416
[Jeff groans]
1218
01:05:08,500 --> 01:05:11,750
Okay. I'm okay. I have all my parts.
1219
01:05:13,416 --> 01:05:16,083
[whimpers]
1220
01:05:16,791 --> 01:05:18,708
-Am I dead? Is this dead?
-[bird shrieks]
1221
01:05:19,208 --> 01:05:20,083
[gasps]
1222
01:05:20,166 --> 01:05:21,458
[screams, whimpers]
1223
01:05:22,208 --> 01:05:23,875
That's too high! I'm too high.
1224
01:05:23,958 --> 01:05:26,208
[grunts, pants]
1225
01:05:26,291 --> 01:05:28,708
I don't like-- [whimpers]
1226
01:05:28,791 --> 01:05:30,541
Where have you taken me?
1227
01:05:31,250 --> 01:05:32,583
You can do this, McKenzie.
1228
01:05:32,666 --> 01:05:34,916
-[stones fall]
-Okay, you just gotta make it across.
1229
01:05:35,000 --> 01:05:36,250
Just one small jump.
1230
01:05:37,500 --> 01:05:39,625
[whimpers]
1231
01:05:39,708 --> 01:05:44,583
One, two, three!
1232
01:05:45,333 --> 01:05:46,458
[groans]
1233
01:05:46,541 --> 01:05:49,000
[laughs]
1234
01:05:49,083 --> 01:05:52,500
[groaning]
1235
01:05:52,583 --> 01:05:53,583
[Pam] Jeff?
1236
01:05:53,666 --> 01:05:55,833
[groans]
1237
01:05:55,916 --> 01:05:57,000
Jeff?
1238
01:05:57,958 --> 01:05:59,083
Jeff!
1239
01:06:00,416 --> 01:06:01,791
[bangs]
1240
01:06:01,875 --> 01:06:04,625
[banging]
1241
01:06:05,208 --> 01:06:06,875
There's something blocking the door.
1242
01:06:06,958 --> 01:06:08,083
[grunts]
1243
01:06:09,458 --> 01:06:11,000
[banging]
1244
01:06:11,083 --> 01:06:12,208
[grunting]
1245
01:06:12,291 --> 01:06:13,416
[sound distorts]
1246
01:06:16,583 --> 01:06:18,125
-[Jeff groans]
-[Pam gasps]
1247
01:06:18,208 --> 01:06:20,375
-Oh, honey.
-[Jeff groans]
1248
01:06:22,250 --> 01:06:23,708
-[Pam gasps]
-[Jeff groans]
1249
01:06:24,875 --> 01:06:26,750
He's hurting me, Pam.
1250
01:06:27,583 --> 01:06:29,875
Me too, baby. Me too.
1251
01:06:31,083 --> 01:06:34,375
Little, limey monster
tried to set me on fire.
1252
01:06:34,458 --> 01:06:36,958
Why's he doing this to us, Pam?
1253
01:06:38,208 --> 01:06:40,541
He just told me our 200 grand
is getting away.
1254
01:06:40,625 --> 01:06:43,750
He has our doll,
and he knows what it's worth.
1255
01:06:43,833 --> 01:06:44,833
[sighs]
1256
01:06:45,375 --> 01:06:46,750
We have to get it back.
1257
01:06:49,000 --> 01:06:50,208
-[joints crack]
-[groans]
1258
01:06:52,250 --> 01:06:53,250
[Pam grunts]
1259
01:06:56,750 --> 01:06:57,916
[metal scraping]
1260
01:06:58,666 --> 01:07:00,000
Ow!
1261
01:07:00,083 --> 01:07:03,750
Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow!
1262
01:07:08,000 --> 01:07:09,500
[pants]
1263
01:07:09,583 --> 01:07:10,833
Ow!
1264
01:07:11,875 --> 01:07:15,833
[groans] The Eiffel Tower?
Really? [grunts]
1265
01:07:15,916 --> 01:07:17,583
[Legos clattering]
1266
01:07:17,666 --> 01:07:22,375
[grunts]
1267
01:07:25,666 --> 01:07:28,958
[whispers] Don't you dare judge me.
I'm doing this for my family.
1268
01:07:34,375 --> 01:07:35,375
[snores]
1269
01:07:35,458 --> 01:07:39,083
[sniffles]
1270
01:07:39,166 --> 01:07:41,291
[snores]
1271
01:07:42,041 --> 01:07:43,583
[Jeff] You learned anything?
1272
01:07:43,666 --> 01:07:46,541
Just that this kid owns a lot of Legos.
1273
01:07:46,625 --> 01:07:48,000
[footsteps]
1274
01:07:48,083 --> 01:07:49,375
[Jeff speaks German]
1275
01:07:49,458 --> 01:07:51,083
[in German] We are coming in…
1276
01:07:52,166 --> 01:07:53,708
[in English] I forgot the word for peace.
1277
01:07:53,791 --> 01:07:55,250
-Yeah, look it up.
-Okay, let's see.
1278
01:07:56,041 --> 01:07:59,750
-[Jeff murmurs]
-"Pancake." No. "Potato." "Paralysis."
1279
01:07:59,833 --> 01:08:01,375
-[Max] Up here.
-[Jeff] Oh, hey.
1280
01:08:01,458 --> 01:08:05,083
Okay. So-- So listen.
[stammers] We just wanna talk.
1281
01:08:05,166 --> 01:08:07,208
[screams, grunts]
1282
01:08:07,291 --> 01:08:09,875
Would you just stop and talk to us?
1283
01:08:09,958 --> 01:08:11,541
[screams, grunts]
1284
01:08:11,625 --> 01:08:15,083
-Please!
-[speaks German]
1285
01:08:15,166 --> 01:08:17,666
We are coming in Frieden.
1286
01:08:18,458 --> 01:08:19,833
Frieden is peace.
1287
01:08:19,916 --> 01:08:21,875
[Max] Come on up and get me!
1288
01:08:23,000 --> 01:08:24,000
[grunts]
1289
01:08:24,083 --> 01:08:25,083
Ouch.
1290
01:08:25,166 --> 01:08:28,875
[screams, grunts]
1291
01:08:28,958 --> 01:08:31,791
[Pam] He put butter on the stairs.
1292
01:08:31,875 --> 01:08:36,750
Flour, milk and butter.
1293
01:08:36,833 --> 01:08:38,208
He's turning me into a cookie.
1294
01:08:38,291 --> 01:08:40,416
Well, you need sugar for a cookie.
1295
01:08:42,458 --> 01:08:45,666
[groans, cries]
1296
01:08:48,333 --> 01:08:50,791
Who raised this little monster?
1297
01:08:51,958 --> 01:08:53,500
I think we should go back home.
1298
01:08:54,166 --> 01:08:55,750
There is no going back.
1299
01:08:55,833 --> 01:08:57,625
This is who we are now.
1300
01:08:58,416 --> 01:09:00,125
This is the life we've chosen.
1301
01:09:01,750 --> 01:09:03,208
We've gone to the other side.
1302
01:09:08,250 --> 01:09:09,666
You'll never find me.
1303
01:09:11,500 --> 01:09:13,791
[grunts]
1304
01:09:27,125 --> 01:09:30,875
[screams]
1305
01:09:36,708 --> 01:09:39,166
Harry Potter turned me into a pincushion.
1306
01:09:44,583 --> 01:09:47,500
Good job, honey. I'll be right there.
1307
01:09:49,125 --> 01:09:53,458
[groans]
1308
01:09:53,541 --> 01:09:54,541
[grunts]
1309
01:09:55,291 --> 01:09:56,416
Or not.
1310
01:10:00,416 --> 01:10:03,541
[whirring]
1311
01:10:03,625 --> 01:10:04,916
Well, hello.
1312
01:10:13,791 --> 01:10:14,750
Catch.
1313
01:10:16,083 --> 01:10:19,958
Oh, no. You hit me
with the incredibly soft yoga ball.
1314
01:10:20,041 --> 01:10:21,583
[grunts]
1315
01:10:22,416 --> 01:10:25,333
[screams]
1316
01:10:25,416 --> 01:10:26,791
[Jeff screams]
1317
01:10:26,875 --> 01:10:31,916
[Pam screams, grunts]
1318
01:10:33,708 --> 01:10:34,708
[sighs]
1319
01:10:36,708 --> 01:10:38,208
Go get him, Jeff.
1320
01:10:38,291 --> 01:10:39,500
[groans]
1321
01:10:41,958 --> 01:10:44,708
[Max]
Given up yet? Or are you thirsty for more?
1322
01:10:44,791 --> 01:10:45,958
[breathing heavily]
1323
01:10:46,041 --> 01:10:47,250
[joints crack]
1324
01:10:53,625 --> 01:10:56,791
Eight ball. Your face.
1325
01:11:01,291 --> 01:11:03,500
There's nowhere to run now, little man.
1326
01:11:05,041 --> 01:11:06,458
[Max] We'll see about that.
1327
01:11:10,416 --> 01:11:11,416
See ya.
1328
01:11:16,708 --> 01:11:18,833
Pam, he jumped off the balcony!
1329
01:11:19,750 --> 01:11:20,875
Good.
1330
01:11:21,500 --> 01:11:22,500
[pants]
1331
01:11:24,166 --> 01:11:25,208
The jacket.
1332
01:11:27,625 --> 01:11:29,583
Oh, no. A ladder.
1333
01:11:30,625 --> 01:11:33,458
[chuckles]
You really think I'm that stupid?
1334
01:11:42,166 --> 01:11:43,541
[groans]
1335
01:11:44,208 --> 01:11:47,375
Yes. Yes, I do.
1336
01:11:48,000 --> 01:11:51,458
[whispers] Dolly? [pants]
1337
01:11:58,541 --> 01:11:59,541
What?
1338
01:12:00,958 --> 01:12:02,166
[groans]
1339
01:12:04,666 --> 01:12:06,125
Aw.
1340
01:12:10,583 --> 01:12:13,458
That's it. Time's up, little guy.
1341
01:12:20,291 --> 01:12:22,833
[whimpering]
1342
01:12:27,916 --> 01:12:29,791
[whimpers]
1343
01:12:30,416 --> 01:12:33,125
[screams, groans]
1344
01:12:34,166 --> 01:12:35,250
No!
1345
01:12:36,125 --> 01:12:37,541
[whimpers]
1346
01:12:37,625 --> 01:12:41,291
[growls]
1347
01:12:42,416 --> 01:12:43,625
[Pam] That's far enough.
1348
01:12:45,416 --> 01:12:46,916
Well, hello there.
1349
01:12:48,625 --> 01:12:50,458
-[Jeff whimpers]
-I'll do it.
1350
01:12:50,541 --> 01:12:53,500
Please, please, please no more pool balls.
1351
01:12:53,583 --> 01:12:55,416
Drop the gun.
1352
01:12:55,500 --> 01:12:58,291
Not a chance.
1353
01:12:58,375 --> 01:13:01,250
-[gun cocks]
-I'm not playing around, lady.
1354
01:13:01,333 --> 01:13:04,791
[whimpers] He's not. He-- He shot me
with several pool balls tonight.
1355
01:13:04,875 --> 01:13:06,083
Enough!
1356
01:13:06,166 --> 01:13:07,708
This stops here.
1357
01:13:09,291 --> 01:13:11,458
You picked the wrong mom to mess with.
1358
01:13:24,000 --> 01:13:25,250
[screams]
1359
01:13:26,000 --> 01:13:27,208
[screams]
1360
01:13:27,291 --> 01:13:28,916
-[grunts]
-[Jeff] Honey, are you okay?
1361
01:13:29,916 --> 01:13:34,000
Please, no more Legos or fire
1362
01:13:34,083 --> 01:13:37,291
or freaking thumbtacks.
We just wanna talk.
1363
01:13:37,375 --> 01:13:39,875
Yeah, right. I heard your plan.
1364
01:13:39,958 --> 01:13:42,208
You wanna kidnap "the ugly boy"
1365
01:13:42,291 --> 01:13:45,291
and sell me to some old lady
for 200 large.
1366
01:13:45,375 --> 01:13:46,208
What?
1367
01:13:47,000 --> 01:13:48,000
What? [scoffs]
1368
01:13:48,083 --> 01:13:51,791
And I'm not ugly.
My mum says I've got character.
1369
01:13:52,958 --> 01:13:54,083
You thought--
1370
01:13:54,166 --> 01:13:55,458
[stammers]
1371
01:13:55,541 --> 01:13:58,375
Is that why you made this death maze?
1372
01:13:58,458 --> 01:14:00,416
Kid, we just want our doll back.
1373
01:14:00,500 --> 01:14:01,625
What doll?
1374
01:14:01,708 --> 01:14:06,416
The one you stole from our house.
The boy with the bad face. The ugly boy.
1375
01:14:06,500 --> 01:14:09,208
That? I didn't steal that.
1376
01:14:10,708 --> 01:14:13,333
I'm ten years old.
Why on earth would I want a doll?
1377
01:14:16,625 --> 01:14:21,250
Oh, no. This is bad.
1378
01:14:22,375 --> 01:14:23,583
We did a bad thing.
1379
01:14:24,708 --> 01:14:27,291
One of the worst bads we could've done.
1380
01:14:29,125 --> 01:14:32,291
I think we need to wake up your grandma.
1381
01:14:32,375 --> 01:14:34,875
You wanna call my grandma in England?
1382
01:14:34,958 --> 01:14:38,333
No. The grandma who's staying here.
1383
01:14:39,208 --> 01:14:40,500
From Germany.
1384
01:14:41,250 --> 01:14:42,583
[speaks German]
1385
01:14:43,625 --> 01:14:45,375
My grandma's not staying with me.
1386
01:14:46,375 --> 01:14:47,958
Well, then who is?
1387
01:14:55,875 --> 01:14:58,750
No one. It's just me.
1388
01:15:00,625 --> 01:15:01,750
What?
1389
01:15:01,833 --> 01:15:03,750
Wait, where are your parents?
1390
01:15:06,541 --> 01:15:08,000
Tokyo.
1391
01:15:08,666 --> 01:15:14,041
Oh. Sweetie, I am so sorry.
1392
01:15:14,875 --> 01:15:17,791
If we had known you were staying here
by yourself,
1393
01:15:17,875 --> 01:15:20,333
we would've handled things
a lot differently.
1394
01:15:21,708 --> 01:15:24,458
We wouldn't have broken into your home
even once.
1395
01:15:24,541 --> 01:15:27,583
This was just a huge misunderstanding.
1396
01:15:27,666 --> 01:15:30,625
Now, why don't you just put
that heavy gun down?
1397
01:15:31,708 --> 01:15:34,125
Oh, sweetie, come here.
1398
01:15:34,208 --> 01:15:35,708
You're safe now.
1399
01:15:35,791 --> 01:15:37,958
We'll take care of you, okay?
1400
01:15:39,166 --> 01:15:40,458
Okay.
1401
01:15:45,083 --> 01:15:49,750
[all scream]
1402
01:15:49,833 --> 01:15:53,291
[Jeff whimpers, screams]
1403
01:15:54,250 --> 01:15:56,041
[pants]
1404
01:15:56,125 --> 01:15:59,250
Okay, I know what it looks like…
1405
01:16:00,541 --> 01:16:02,875
But that was genuinely an accident.
1406
01:16:02,958 --> 01:16:04,500
Well, I hope so.
1407
01:16:04,583 --> 01:16:06,875
Because-- [screams] No.
1408
01:16:06,958 --> 01:16:10,000
I gotta go take a-- I'm gonna go sit down.
1409
01:16:10,916 --> 01:16:14,625
Okay. Let's call your parents
and let them know that you're okay.
1410
01:16:14,708 --> 01:16:17,125
You can stay with us till they get back.
1411
01:16:18,083 --> 01:16:20,541
I'm gonna be in so much trouble.
1412
01:16:20,625 --> 01:16:22,375
[clicks tongue] No, honey.
1413
01:16:22,458 --> 01:16:26,166
Your mom is just gonna be happy
to see you. I promise.
1414
01:16:26,250 --> 01:16:27,375
[Jeff] At first.
1415
01:16:27,875 --> 01:16:30,583
But-- But then you'll be in trouble.
1416
01:16:30,666 --> 01:16:32,750
Pretty bad, I would-- I would imagine.
1417
01:16:32,833 --> 01:16:36,541
I think we're all gonna have
quite a bit of explaining to do.
1418
01:16:39,125 --> 01:16:44,625
Okay, so, you go to this kid's house,
because you think he stole the doll…
1419
01:16:44,708 --> 01:16:46,833
-[stammers]
-…and on the way there, you hit a tree,
1420
01:16:46,916 --> 01:16:47,875
which is why…
1421
01:16:47,958 --> 01:16:48,958
Yeah.
1422
01:16:49,041 --> 01:16:51,375
And then when you get to this kid's house,
he's home alone?
1423
01:16:52,083 --> 01:16:54,291
-Yes. Pretty much, yeah. Yes.
-Mm-hmm.
1424
01:16:54,375 --> 01:16:56,333
[clicks tongue] Wow.
1425
01:16:56,416 --> 01:16:58,333
How about your mom?
Have you talked to her?
1426
01:16:58,416 --> 01:17:00,708
Yeah, we called her when she landed.
1427
01:17:00,791 --> 01:17:04,125
She cried happy tears.
I didn't even know you could do that.
1428
01:17:04,208 --> 01:17:07,458
So, are we moving?
1429
01:17:13,375 --> 01:17:14,833
I'm sorry, guys…
1430
01:17:16,166 --> 01:17:18,916
But we got an offer on the house,
1431
01:17:19,000 --> 01:17:22,500
and we can't afford not to take it.
1432
01:17:24,791 --> 01:17:26,125
But it's okay,
1433
01:17:26,208 --> 01:17:30,541
because what makes this house
so special to us is us.
1434
01:17:31,208 --> 01:17:32,208
Right?
1435
01:17:35,250 --> 01:17:37,000
Your mum speaks a lot of sense.
1436
01:17:38,250 --> 01:17:42,791
Without my mum and dad,
my house really didn't feel like home.
1437
01:17:47,416 --> 01:17:51,333
Oh, babe, what if one of those open house
poacher people took the doll?
1438
01:17:51,416 --> 01:17:53,208
-Mmm, yes.
-Jeff, have you heard about this?
1439
01:17:53,291 --> 01:17:56,458
They just come into your house and take
all of your valuables. It's crazy.
1440
01:17:56,541 --> 01:17:58,875
Greta Van Susteren did a thing about it
on 60 Minutes.
1441
01:17:58,958 --> 01:18:00,666
-Full hour. Yeah.
-Full hour.
1442
01:18:00,750 --> 01:18:02,708
-Who knows?
-Greta Van Susteren knows.
1443
01:18:02,791 --> 01:18:06,750
But it's gone now, and,
you know, we need to--
1444
01:18:11,000 --> 01:18:12,166
Ollie?
1445
01:18:13,166 --> 01:18:14,250
Doll.
1446
01:18:15,916 --> 01:18:19,083
Ollie, angel, do not move.
1447
01:18:19,833 --> 01:18:22,541
[speaks Spanish]
1448
01:18:22,625 --> 01:18:28,625
-["Carol of the Bells" playing]
-[no audible dialogue]
1449
01:18:44,875 --> 01:18:46,666
[music continues]
1450
01:19:04,791 --> 01:19:06,875
[music continues]
1451
01:19:21,708 --> 01:19:24,208
[music fades]
1452
01:19:24,291 --> 01:19:25,291
[grunts]
1453
01:19:25,916 --> 01:19:27,375
-[groans]
-That was incredible.
1454
01:19:27,458 --> 01:19:28,666
[stammers] Are you okay?
1455
01:19:28,750 --> 01:19:29,791
[chuckles]
1456
01:19:29,875 --> 01:19:32,791
Yeah. Yeah, I think we both are.
1457
01:19:33,291 --> 01:19:36,375
Hey, who would've thought Ollie
was gonna save the day, right?
1458
01:19:36,458 --> 01:19:39,541
-[Mei] Yay, baby. Good job, my love.
-[Hunter] Good job, buddy.
1459
01:19:39,625 --> 01:19:40,708
[doorbell rings]
1460
01:19:42,458 --> 01:19:43,708
[gasps]
1461
01:19:48,833 --> 01:19:49,833
Mum!
1462
01:19:50,791 --> 01:19:52,166
[bag thuds]
1463
01:19:52,750 --> 01:19:55,958
Max. Mmm.
1464
01:19:56,625 --> 01:19:59,875
Oh. I'm so sorry we left you, darling.
1465
01:19:59,958 --> 01:20:05,333
[chuckles] Let me look at you. [laughs]
1466
01:20:05,416 --> 01:20:06,750
You've got a great kid.
1467
01:20:08,666 --> 01:20:11,250
Yeah. Yeah, I really do.
1468
01:20:12,875 --> 01:20:16,000
He's very creative.
1469
01:20:16,083 --> 01:20:20,916
Creative. Yes. He's so creative.
1470
01:20:21,000 --> 01:20:24,083
Thank you. That's nice to, um--
1471
01:20:24,166 --> 01:20:25,166
Oh.
1472
01:20:26,458 --> 01:20:28,375
Wow, that really was some fender bender.
1473
01:20:28,458 --> 01:20:29,750
-[chuckles]
-[Pam] Mmm.
1474
01:20:29,833 --> 01:20:31,291
You should see the tree.
1475
01:20:36,416 --> 01:20:37,916
[gasps] Oh.
1476
01:20:38,000 --> 01:20:39,375
Do-- Do you wanna stay?
1477
01:20:39,458 --> 01:20:40,958
Because we have a lot of eggnog.
1478
01:20:41,041 --> 01:20:42,791
They got more nog than they know
what to do with.
1479
01:20:42,875 --> 01:20:45,791
Oh. Uh, uh, thank you, but, uh, no.
1480
01:20:45,875 --> 01:20:47,458
I-- I, um…
1481
01:20:47,541 --> 01:20:50,083
I just wanna get this guy home now.
[chuckles]
1482
01:20:50,166 --> 01:20:51,875
Never been so excited to see my house.
1483
01:20:51,958 --> 01:20:53,333
-[Carol chuckles]
-Actually--
1484
01:20:53,416 --> 01:20:55,583
-Yes! Home.
-Mm-mmm.
1485
01:20:55,666 --> 01:20:57,500
Home is where the heart is.
1486
01:20:58,250 --> 01:20:59,583
"Sweet Home Alabama."
1487
01:21:00,625 --> 01:21:02,541
Homer's Odyssey .
1488
01:21:02,625 --> 01:21:05,208
-Where do they wind up at the end?
-Home.
1489
01:21:05,291 --> 01:21:06,291
Spoiler alert.
1490
01:21:06,375 --> 01:21:08,833
You're probably too young to have read it,
but they end up at home.
1491
01:21:08,916 --> 01:21:10,208
[Carol] Yeah, that's lovely.
1492
01:21:10,291 --> 01:21:12,708
-There is no place like home. Thank you.
-Thank you.
1493
01:21:14,291 --> 01:21:15,708
Come on, you.
1494
01:21:19,250 --> 01:21:20,541
Merry Christmas, Max.
1495
01:21:21,708 --> 01:21:23,000
Be good.
1496
01:21:23,083 --> 01:21:24,125
You too.
1497
01:21:25,083 --> 01:21:26,916
[Carol] Ooh. I need another hug.
1498
01:21:27,000 --> 01:21:28,000
Aw.
1499
01:21:28,833 --> 01:21:30,250
-I missed you so much.
-[Max chuckles]
1500
01:21:30,333 --> 01:21:32,500
[Carol]
Hey, I hope the house isn't a mess.
1501
01:21:35,083 --> 01:21:36,625
-[Jeff whispers indistinctly]
-Wow.
1502
01:21:38,875 --> 01:21:40,416
-[Jeff groans]
-Wow.
1503
01:21:40,500 --> 01:21:43,250
-She must be so happy to finally be home.
-Yeah.
1504
01:21:45,541 --> 01:21:50,208
Because I guess home
is just another word for family, right?
1505
01:21:50,291 --> 01:21:52,541
So, does that mean we get to stay here?
1506
01:21:57,416 --> 01:21:59,875
-Yeah, sweetie. It does.
-[Chris] Yes.
1507
01:21:59,958 --> 01:22:02,125
-Yeah.
-[Pam chuckles]
1508
01:22:02,750 --> 01:22:04,208
-[Chris chuckles]
-[grunting]
1509
01:22:04,291 --> 01:22:07,958
Mommy's ribs. Mommy's ribs are sore.
1510
01:22:08,041 --> 01:22:09,541
So glad they're not poor anymore.
1511
01:22:09,625 --> 01:22:11,708
-It made me so uncomfortable.
-It was so awkward.
1512
01:22:12,541 --> 01:22:14,375
Hey, what do you say
we open some presents?
1513
01:22:14,458 --> 01:22:15,750
-[Chris gasps] Yes!
-Yes!
1514
01:22:17,250 --> 01:22:19,583
-[Abby] Can I open the big one?
-[Chris] Oh, my gosh!
1515
01:22:19,666 --> 01:22:21,583
-Merry Christmas.
-Merry Christmas.
1516
01:22:21,666 --> 01:22:23,166
-[Abby] I call opening first.
-Me first.
1517
01:22:23,250 --> 01:22:25,291
[Pam] Okay, guys. One at a time.
1518
01:22:25,375 --> 01:22:27,041
-[Chris] Thank you, Dad.
-[Abby] Thank you.
1519
01:22:27,125 --> 01:22:28,125
I love it.
1520
01:22:28,208 --> 01:22:29,416
[all laugh]
1521
01:22:29,500 --> 01:22:31,541
[Carol] You wouldn't believe
how much I missed you.
1522
01:22:31,625 --> 01:22:34,000
It's just gonna be
two of us for Christmas, hey?
1523
01:22:34,083 --> 01:22:35,958
-That'll be nice, won't it?
-Mm-hmm.
1524
01:22:36,041 --> 01:22:37,541
[Carol] Oh, dear. What a day.
1525
01:22:38,291 --> 01:22:39,458
[Carol grunts]
1526
01:22:39,541 --> 01:22:41,041
-Home sweet home.
-[machine beeps]
1527
01:22:49,708 --> 01:22:52,166
-There's a very reasonable explanation.
-[cracking]
1528
01:22:58,500 --> 01:23:00,500
[chattering, laughing]
1529
01:23:00,583 --> 01:23:02,750
[Carol] I think he looks
like a little politician.
1530
01:23:02,833 --> 01:23:04,875
-[Max] Mum, please.
-[Katie] He looks like a politician.
1531
01:23:04,958 --> 01:23:08,333
[Abby] Part of it's the sweater vest.
He does look like a politician.
1532
01:23:08,416 --> 01:23:10,958
-I like it. I actually like it.
-Mum.
1533
01:23:11,041 --> 01:23:14,583
-I don't even know anything about…
-Okay, everybody, time to eat.
1534
01:23:14,666 --> 01:23:16,583
Oh, this looks incredible.
1535
01:23:16,666 --> 01:23:19,791
Thank you so much,
and the house looks so beautiful.
1536
01:23:19,875 --> 01:23:21,708
Oh, don't thank me.
1537
01:23:21,791 --> 01:23:22,916
Thank that creepy doll.
1538
01:23:23,000 --> 01:23:27,125
Selling that paid for everything.
Our mortgage, our trip to Europe…
1539
01:23:27,208 --> 01:23:29,083
And your new chandelier.
1540
01:23:29,166 --> 01:23:31,416
-[Carol] Thank you.
-And don't forget the drywall.
1541
01:23:31,500 --> 01:23:32,500
Oh, yeah. Well--
1542
01:23:32,583 --> 01:23:35,583
I always thought the house could've done
with a little remodeling anyway. So…
1543
01:23:35,666 --> 01:23:39,291
Keep it on those settings, Terry.
All right. Take it easy. All right. Sorry.
1544
01:23:39,375 --> 01:23:41,375
Sorry, everybody. That was work.
Apologies.
1545
01:23:41,458 --> 01:23:42,666
On Christmas Day?
1546
01:23:42,750 --> 01:23:46,416
Jeff has been promoted
to District Manager.
1547
01:23:46,500 --> 01:23:48,791
There's no Christmas for the cloud, Mike.
1548
01:23:48,875 --> 01:23:50,333
The cloud never sleeps.
1549
01:23:50,416 --> 01:23:53,416
And I provide 24-7 cloud
management services. And that includes--
1550
01:23:53,500 --> 01:23:55,041
[clears throat] Dad.
1551
01:23:55,541 --> 01:23:56,666
Oh.
1552
01:23:56,750 --> 01:23:57,916
Let's make a toast.
1553
01:23:58,000 --> 01:24:01,083
-Yes.
-Oh, um, can I get one of those?
1554
01:24:06,000 --> 01:24:08,125
You know, they're quite sugary.
1555
01:24:08,208 --> 01:24:09,875
I think we should let him have the soda.
1556
01:24:10,958 --> 01:24:12,708
Remember what happened last time?
1557
01:24:12,791 --> 01:24:14,458
[all laugh]
1558
01:24:17,000 --> 01:24:18,666
-There you go, buddy.
-Thanks.
1559
01:24:18,750 --> 01:24:20,916
-Huh? Oh. [chuckles]
-[all laugh]
1560
01:24:21,000 --> 01:24:22,166
Cheers.
1561
01:24:23,666 --> 01:24:24,958
To new friends.
1562
01:24:25,041 --> 01:24:27,083
-And family.
-Mmm.
1563
01:24:27,166 --> 01:24:29,791
And me having
no permanent neurological damage.
1564
01:24:29,875 --> 01:24:32,500
-[all laugh]
-Yeah, that's good.
1565
01:24:32,583 --> 01:24:36,083
And here's to Max
for bringing us all together.
1566
01:24:36,666 --> 01:24:37,833
Merry Christmas, everybody.
1567
01:24:37,916 --> 01:24:39,708
-Merry Christmas!
-[Mike] Cheers.
1568
01:24:39,791 --> 01:24:42,083
-[Carol] Merry Christmas, darling.
-[chattering]
1569
01:24:42,166 --> 01:24:43,500
Merry Christmas. Cheers, darling.
1570
01:24:44,625 --> 01:24:47,291
-[Jeff] Merry Christmas, everyone!
-[glasses clinking]
114286
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