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All language subtitles for South.Park.S24E00.Post.COVID.The.Return.of.COVID.1080p.WEBRip.2CH.x265.HEVC-PSA_Subtitles01

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:04,448 --> 00:00:06,684 (indistinct chatter) 2 00:00:11,489 --> 00:00:13,724 ♪ ♪ 3 00:00:18,028 --> 00:00:20,364 You guys! You guys! 4 00:00:21,031 --> 00:00:22,866 Oh, my God, you're not gonna believe this! 5 00:00:22,966 --> 00:00:25,336 - Dude, what? - You guys... (panting) 6 00:00:26,670 --> 00:00:29,873 Heather Williams farted during P.E. class. 7 00:00:29,973 --> 00:00:32,443 - So? - So? 8 00:00:32,543 --> 00:00:34,412 Heather Williams farted during P.E. class! 9 00:00:34,512 --> 00:00:36,647 That means we are gonna sit courtside 10 00:00:36,747 --> 00:00:38,382 at the Denver Nuggets game next Saturday! 11 00:00:38,482 --> 00:00:39,683 (muffled shouting) 12 00:00:39,783 --> 00:00:40,618 What? 13 00:00:40,718 --> 00:00:42,420 Ugh! Heather Williams' mom 14 00:00:42,520 --> 00:00:43,621 works for Coors in Golden! 15 00:00:43,721 --> 00:00:45,389 Coors is the second biggest sponsor 16 00:00:45,489 --> 00:00:47,167 of the Pepsi Center where the Nuggets play! 17 00:00:47,191 --> 00:00:48,902 We tell Heather that if she doesn't get us courtside seats, 18 00:00:48,926 --> 00:00:50,770 then everyone's gonna know she farted in P.E. class! 19 00:00:50,794 --> 00:00:53,897 Whoa. I've never seen a Nuggets game in person. 20 00:00:53,997 --> 00:00:56,076 Well, we're about to! All we have to do is show Heather 21 00:00:56,100 --> 00:00:57,777 we have proof and she'll do whatever we want! 22 00:00:57,801 --> 00:00:59,103 What proof do you have? 23 00:00:59,203 --> 00:01:00,538 Kenny had his phone out! 24 00:01:00,638 --> 00:01:01,915 He got a photo of Heather right when she farted. 25 00:01:01,939 --> 00:01:04,708 Look! Isn't this awesome, you guys?! 26 00:01:04,808 --> 00:01:07,111 - Let's go, Nuggets! - (clapping rhythmically) 27 00:01:07,211 --> 00:01:09,380 ALL: Let's go, Nuggets! 28 00:01:09,480 --> 00:01:12,082 Let's go, Nuggets! 29 00:01:12,183 --> 00:01:14,017 (school bell rings) 30 00:01:15,653 --> 00:01:18,522 Kids! Kids, can I have your attention, please. 31 00:01:18,622 --> 00:01:22,092 Kids, listen up. This is an emergency. 32 00:01:22,193 --> 00:01:26,864 Everything is fine but... we are sending you all home. 33 00:01:26,964 --> 00:01:28,366 (confused chatter) 34 00:01:28,466 --> 00:01:30,768 Some of you may have heard but there's a little virus 35 00:01:30,868 --> 00:01:33,604 going around and the school district wants to make sure 36 00:01:33,704 --> 00:01:36,140 we're all safe, so we're shutting down 37 00:01:36,240 --> 00:01:38,342 the school for about two weeks. 38 00:01:38,442 --> 00:01:40,511 Two weeks?! Yippie! 39 00:01:40,611 --> 00:01:42,313 (excited chatter) 40 00:01:42,413 --> 00:01:43,714 Oh, not now. 41 00:01:43,814 --> 00:01:45,983 Your parents are here to pick you up. So let's go. 42 00:01:46,083 --> 00:01:48,886 I'm sure it's nothing; We'll see you in a couple of weeks. 43 00:01:48,986 --> 00:01:51,054 You guys... you guys, Heather Thompson 44 00:01:51,155 --> 00:01:53,524 farted in P.E. class! Guys? 45 00:01:57,094 --> 00:01:59,697 ADULT STAN: Every night I have the same dream, 46 00:01:59,797 --> 00:02:02,032 and relive the whole thing again... 47 00:02:02,900 --> 00:02:04,620 ANDREW CUOMO: It's called social distancing. 48 00:02:04,702 --> 00:02:06,637 If we stay six feet apart from each other 49 00:02:06,737 --> 00:02:08,239 and wear a mask... 50 00:02:08,339 --> 00:02:11,108 And also I'm shutting down the city and I'm a pervert. 51 00:02:11,209 --> 00:02:13,211 And we've got to get control of this thing! 52 00:02:13,311 --> 00:02:15,689 RANDY: I'm just getting sick of being here every day with you, 53 00:02:15,713 --> 00:02:16,947 - that's all. - SHARON: You think 54 00:02:17,047 --> 00:02:19,082 I like being here every day with you?! 55 00:02:19,183 --> 00:02:20,818 RANDY: I am much easier to get along with 56 00:02:20,918 --> 00:02:22,686 during a stay-at-home order! 57 00:02:22,786 --> 00:02:25,456 ♪ Happy birthday to you ♪ 58 00:02:25,556 --> 00:02:29,427 ♪ Happy birthday, dear Stan... ♪ 59 00:02:31,329 --> 00:02:33,564 ♪ ♪ 60 00:02:38,802 --> 00:02:41,939 Come on, Stan, we're gonna visit Grandpa! 61 00:02:42,039 --> 00:02:44,242 Hi, Grandpa! 62 00:02:44,342 --> 00:02:45,843 OTHERS: Hi, Grandpa! 63 00:02:45,943 --> 00:02:49,012 RANDY: Isn't it great to see Grandpa, kids? 64 00:02:49,112 --> 00:02:50,781 Look, let's just face it, you guys. 65 00:02:50,881 --> 00:02:53,717 We don't trust each other and we don't like each other. 66 00:02:54,852 --> 00:02:56,754 I hate this stupid farm. 67 00:02:58,422 --> 00:03:01,925 In the dream, I relive the entire pandemic. 68 00:03:02,893 --> 00:03:04,495 SHARON: Oh, God, no! 69 00:03:04,595 --> 00:03:06,997 My little girl! (Sobbing) 70 00:03:07,097 --> 00:03:09,166 Oh, no! Oh, God! 71 00:03:09,267 --> 00:03:10,801 ♪ ♪ 72 00:03:10,901 --> 00:03:15,273 Now that I'm older, the dream isn't just a dream 73 00:03:15,373 --> 00:03:20,110 because the whole pandemic has started all over again. 74 00:03:26,317 --> 00:03:28,552 ♪ ♪ 75 00:03:37,995 --> 00:03:40,030 ♪ ♪ 76 00:03:55,646 --> 00:03:58,949 NEWSMAN: A brand-new variant of the COVID virus has emerged 77 00:03:59,049 --> 00:04:01,485 in Colorado and now panic and fear 78 00:04:01,585 --> 00:04:02,986 spreads throughout the world. 79 00:04:03,086 --> 00:04:05,122 The new outbreak started with the death 80 00:04:05,222 --> 00:04:07,358 of renowned scientist Kenny McCormick, 81 00:04:07,458 --> 00:04:10,694 and has therefore been named Kenny McCormikron. 82 00:04:10,794 --> 00:04:13,931 It's been 38 years since the pandemic first started, 83 00:04:14,031 --> 00:04:17,000 and people are beginning to say enough is enough. 84 00:04:17,100 --> 00:04:20,070 The town of South Park has been put under strict lockdown 85 00:04:20,170 --> 00:04:22,005 to try and contain the new variant. 86 00:04:22,105 --> 00:04:26,610 Nobody is allowed in or out for the next 20 to 30 years. 87 00:04:26,710 --> 00:04:28,245 (siren wailing) 88 00:04:28,346 --> 00:04:30,156 MALE VOICE: Attention. You are under quarantine. 89 00:04:30,180 --> 00:04:33,150 Someone in your community is not vaccinated. 90 00:04:33,250 --> 00:04:36,820 Maintain social distance and wear a chin diaper if possible. 91 00:04:36,920 --> 00:04:39,890 Attention. You are under quarantine. 92 00:04:39,990 --> 00:04:42,192 Someone in your community is not vaccinated. 93 00:04:42,292 --> 00:04:45,295 Maintain social distance and wear a chin diaper 94 00:04:45,396 --> 00:04:46,830 if possible. 95 00:04:46,930 --> 00:04:49,166 Attention. You are under quarantine. 96 00:04:49,266 --> 00:04:51,602 Someone in your community is not... 97 00:04:51,702 --> 00:04:55,539 (woman speaking Japanese) 98 00:04:55,639 --> 00:04:58,108 MALE VOICE 2: Come on inside and rejuvenate. 99 00:04:58,208 --> 00:05:01,244 Denny's is now Denny's Applebee's Max. 100 00:05:01,345 --> 00:05:03,046 Taste the difference. 101 00:05:03,146 --> 00:05:05,783 (soft electronic music playing) 102 00:05:07,117 --> 00:05:08,719 Welcome to Denny's Applebee's Max. 103 00:05:08,819 --> 00:05:10,153 Just one joining us today? 104 00:05:11,121 --> 00:05:12,289 Listen to me very carefully 105 00:05:12,390 --> 00:05:14,525 and try not to change your expression. 106 00:05:14,625 --> 00:05:16,894 They could be listening. 107 00:05:16,994 --> 00:05:20,931 This... is the last sprout of Tegridy Weed. 108 00:05:21,031 --> 00:05:24,134 We have to get it somewhere outside of town. 109 00:05:24,234 --> 00:05:26,370 Sir, the whole town is under quarantine. 110 00:05:26,470 --> 00:05:28,171 Nothing's allowed in or out. 111 00:05:28,271 --> 00:05:29,873 We have to replicate it. 112 00:05:29,973 --> 00:05:32,743 It's the only way for people to have Tegridy again. 113 00:05:32,843 --> 00:05:34,878 Uh, okay, sir, if you don't want to eat, 114 00:05:34,978 --> 00:05:36,380 then I'll need to ask you to leave. 115 00:05:36,480 --> 00:05:38,916 Don't you understand this could change the world. 116 00:05:39,016 --> 00:05:40,984 Maybe the Denny's side of you doesn't care, 117 00:05:41,084 --> 00:05:43,954 but the Applebee's side of you must want to help! 118 00:05:44,054 --> 00:05:45,523 There you are, Mr. Marsh. 119 00:05:45,623 --> 00:05:48,058 Come on. Time to go back to the old folks home. 120 00:05:48,158 --> 00:05:50,861 I can't go back! Everyone listen! 121 00:05:50,961 --> 00:05:53,931 This little sprout is humanity's only hope! 122 00:05:54,031 --> 00:05:56,667 Let's go back to the retirement home. 123 00:05:56,767 --> 00:05:58,502 We can get you some nice ice cream, okay? 124 00:05:58,602 --> 00:06:01,972 I don't want ice cream, I want my species to survive! 125 00:06:02,072 --> 00:06:04,475 - Back off! - Let's go, Mr. Marsh! 126 00:06:04,575 --> 00:06:06,444 Don't make this difficult for us! 127 00:06:06,544 --> 00:06:08,311 (yelling) 128 00:06:12,483 --> 00:06:14,818 Why, you son of a bitch. 129 00:06:20,257 --> 00:06:22,359 (grunting) 130 00:06:26,964 --> 00:06:29,500 - Come on, Mr. Marsh. - Who...? 131 00:06:29,600 --> 00:06:33,871 It's me, Token. We know about the pangolin. 132 00:06:35,105 --> 00:06:37,145 Your son and his friends are trying to stop all this 133 00:06:37,174 --> 00:06:39,943 from happening. We need to get you to Kenny's lab. 134 00:06:43,280 --> 00:06:46,817 Dr. Kenneth McCormick will now be attempting to 135 00:06:46,917 --> 00:06:49,252 travel back in time in order to stop 136 00:06:49,352 --> 00:06:52,055 the COVID pandemic from ever happening. 137 00:06:52,155 --> 00:06:53,891 WENDY: At the moment Kenny time traveled, 138 00:06:53,991 --> 00:06:56,093 he blew all the transformers here in the lab. 139 00:06:56,193 --> 00:06:58,228 If you're going to try and replicate his work, 140 00:06:58,328 --> 00:07:00,030 we'll be doing it at half capacity. 141 00:07:00,130 --> 00:07:02,165 The bigger problem is that we can't even get 142 00:07:02,265 --> 00:07:04,201 into half of Kenny's equipment. 143 00:07:04,301 --> 00:07:07,237 We have access to the machines, but the codes to operate 144 00:07:07,337 --> 00:07:10,440 those machines are behind an 86-Mag firewall 145 00:07:10,541 --> 00:07:11,842 with restricted access, 146 00:07:11,942 --> 00:07:13,977 requiring an in-person vocal scan of either 147 00:07:14,077 --> 00:07:17,280 Kenny McCormick or of his associate, Victor Chouce. 148 00:07:17,380 --> 00:07:20,751 But Kenny is dead and Chouce is locked away in a mental asylum. 149 00:07:20,851 --> 00:07:22,953 So we go to the asylum and convince them 150 00:07:23,053 --> 00:07:25,188 to let us bring Chouce here, easy. 151 00:07:25,288 --> 00:07:26,423 There's more. 152 00:07:26,524 --> 00:07:28,058 (alarm blaring over video) 153 00:07:28,158 --> 00:07:30,494 When Kenny bent time, the negative ions 154 00:07:30,594 --> 00:07:32,563 actually killed everyone else in the room. 155 00:07:32,663 --> 00:07:35,999 We have to find some thin, reflective material 156 00:07:36,099 --> 00:07:38,301 that can be worn to bounce the energy. 157 00:07:38,401 --> 00:07:41,438 We're going to need... some aluminum foil. 158 00:07:41,539 --> 00:07:44,542 ♪ ♪ 159 00:07:44,642 --> 00:07:46,443 Jesus Christ. 160 00:07:46,544 --> 00:07:47,845 Aluminum foil? 161 00:07:47,945 --> 00:07:50,614 That's impossible, Wendy. It's the fucking future. 162 00:07:50,714 --> 00:07:52,215 All the aluminum foil is stuck 163 00:07:52,315 --> 00:07:54,317 out on cargo ships in Long Beach. 164 00:07:54,417 --> 00:07:55,586 Yeah, I know. 165 00:07:55,686 --> 00:07:58,922 Look, guys, I know this is all a long shot. 166 00:07:59,022 --> 00:08:01,158 But Kenny went back in time and got COVID 167 00:08:01,258 --> 00:08:03,226 because it destroyed our friendship. 168 00:08:03,326 --> 00:08:06,964 All of this is our fault, and we can't do it without you. 169 00:08:07,064 --> 00:08:09,900 I'll help however I can to stop this stupid pandemic 170 00:08:10,000 --> 00:08:11,201 once and for all. 171 00:08:11,301 --> 00:08:13,270 Yeah, I can't be stuck in quarantine 172 00:08:13,370 --> 00:08:16,707 my whole life... I gotta get back to my job doing future comedy. 173 00:08:16,807 --> 00:08:18,542 Speakin' of which, what's the biggest 174 00:08:18,642 --> 00:08:21,311 difference between a Christian man and a lesbian? 175 00:08:21,411 --> 00:08:23,246 Absolutely nothing. They are totally the same 176 00:08:23,346 --> 00:08:25,115 and deserve to be treated as such. 177 00:08:25,883 --> 00:08:28,085 Thanks, everybody. We can do this! 178 00:08:28,185 --> 00:08:29,853 Wendy, you guys stay here and try 179 00:08:29,953 --> 00:08:31,154 to get the lab running again. 180 00:08:31,254 --> 00:08:33,090 Kyle and I will go get Victor Chouce. 181 00:08:33,190 --> 00:08:35,258 Tweek and Craig, you guys find some aluminum foil. 182 00:08:35,358 --> 00:08:38,395 - How the hell do we do that?! - Just start looking! 183 00:08:38,495 --> 00:08:39,630 Come on, guys! 184 00:08:40,530 --> 00:08:43,701 - All right, let's do this! - I'll drive, get in the back. 185 00:08:43,801 --> 00:08:47,370 Alexa! Set a course for South Park Mental Asylum. 186 00:08:49,840 --> 00:08:54,411 Alexa, set a course for South Park Mental Asylum. 187 00:08:55,312 --> 00:08:57,014 Do you ever think about how the way 188 00:08:57,114 --> 00:08:59,049 you act affects other people? 189 00:08:59,149 --> 00:09:01,752 Oh, no, goddamn it. Not right now. 190 00:09:01,852 --> 00:09:03,921 Oh, yeah, don't wanna talk about that. 191 00:09:04,021 --> 00:09:06,189 Let's just pretend like that's not even an issue. 192 00:09:06,289 --> 00:09:09,026 Alexa, please, we have to get to the asylum 193 00:09:09,126 --> 00:09:10,761 and we don't know where it is. 194 00:09:10,861 --> 00:09:13,030 - Who's this? - It's just my Alexa. 195 00:09:13,130 --> 00:09:15,933 "Just my Alexa"? You're a piece of shit! 196 00:09:16,033 --> 00:09:18,468 You're a fucking alcoholic piece of shit! 197 00:09:18,568 --> 00:09:21,605 - Alexa... - Find the asylum your fucking self! 198 00:09:21,705 --> 00:09:23,573 Find it your fucking self. 199 00:09:23,674 --> 00:09:24,775 (sighs) 200 00:09:24,875 --> 00:09:26,343 You do whatever the fuck you want 201 00:09:26,443 --> 00:09:29,046 and just destroy the people around you. 202 00:09:29,146 --> 00:09:32,049 And by the way, there's a tankless humidifier 203 00:09:32,149 --> 00:09:34,284 available from one of your favorite sellers. 204 00:09:34,384 --> 00:09:35,619 Would you like to know more?! 205 00:09:35,719 --> 00:09:38,155 Yes, yes, I'd like to know more. 206 00:09:38,255 --> 00:09:41,992 (sniffles) Okay. The newest humidifiers from Walgreens Max 207 00:09:42,092 --> 00:09:44,361 are actually tankless and use up to 50% 208 00:09:44,461 --> 00:09:46,596 less water than standard humidifiers. 209 00:09:46,697 --> 00:09:50,500 Okay, that's really cool. Uh, add that to my shopping list. 210 00:09:50,600 --> 00:09:53,336 Well, and people who were interested 211 00:09:53,436 --> 00:09:55,906 in tankless humidifiers were also interested in 212 00:09:56,006 --> 00:09:57,407 three-pack filters. 213 00:09:57,507 --> 00:09:59,609 That's great. Do those have the Prime delivery? 214 00:09:59,710 --> 00:10:01,544 Dude, we don't really have time for this. 215 00:10:01,645 --> 00:10:03,814 Dude, shut the fuck up! 216 00:10:03,914 --> 00:10:06,149 ♪ ♪ 217 00:10:09,720 --> 00:10:12,956 Please help see us through this new COVID variant. 218 00:10:13,056 --> 00:10:15,625 Please help us to make it through this 219 00:10:15,726 --> 00:10:17,027 difficult quarantine. 220 00:10:17,127 --> 00:10:19,629 And let people see that 221 00:10:19,730 --> 00:10:23,934 as bad as COVID is, it's not as bad as diabetes. 222 00:10:24,034 --> 00:10:25,402 (door opens) 223 00:10:25,502 --> 00:10:26,870 Hello? 224 00:10:26,970 --> 00:10:29,639 Sorry, the church is closed due to the COVID variant. 225 00:10:29,740 --> 00:10:33,744 Father, please. Will you protect my family? 226 00:10:33,844 --> 00:10:35,713 Rabbi Cartman? 227 00:10:35,813 --> 00:10:37,981 My family isn't safe, Father. 228 00:10:38,081 --> 00:10:40,417 I realize now that Kyle Broflovski 229 00:10:40,517 --> 00:10:42,452 will stop at nothing to break us apart. 230 00:10:42,552 --> 00:10:44,755 Uncle Kyle hates us because we're Jewish. 231 00:10:44,855 --> 00:10:46,924 And he's a self-hating Jew. 232 00:10:47,024 --> 00:10:48,726 Uncle Kyle, no, no, no! 233 00:10:48,826 --> 00:10:50,327 Menorah, hold your brother. 234 00:10:50,427 --> 00:10:52,696 As a fellow person of faith, Father, 235 00:10:52,796 --> 00:10:53,964 I'm begging you to help us. 236 00:10:54,064 --> 00:10:56,066 Well, well, what can I do, Rabbi? 237 00:10:56,166 --> 00:10:58,702 Kyle has already convinced a bunch of people 238 00:10:58,802 --> 00:11:00,270 to join his cause. 239 00:11:00,370 --> 00:11:03,206 I have to create my own secret rebellion to stop him. 240 00:11:03,306 --> 00:11:05,008 Eric, please, I'm scared 241 00:11:05,108 --> 00:11:07,277 and I don't understand all of this. 242 00:11:08,245 --> 00:11:10,580 Kyle wants to go back in time, 243 00:11:10,680 --> 00:11:14,151 and change the past so that you and I possibly never even meet. 244 00:11:14,251 --> 00:11:18,588 If I never met you, my life would be meaningless. 245 00:11:18,688 --> 00:11:23,326 Mine, too. You are my whole world. 246 00:11:23,426 --> 00:11:27,998 I promise you that I will do everything I can to stop Kyle, 247 00:11:28,098 --> 00:11:30,467 and save our family. 248 00:11:30,567 --> 00:11:32,602 ♪ ♪ 249 00:11:37,941 --> 00:11:39,576 (bird cawing) 250 00:11:41,244 --> 00:11:43,046 I understand that you wish 251 00:11:43,146 --> 00:11:44,681 to see one of our inmates. 252 00:11:44,782 --> 00:11:46,750 - Victor Chouce? - Yeah. 253 00:11:46,850 --> 00:11:48,752 We-we have a lot of questions for Mr. Chouce. 254 00:11:48,852 --> 00:11:52,422 He's an extremely dangerous and diluted individual. 255 00:11:52,522 --> 00:11:54,858 We don't take visitations lightly. 256 00:11:54,958 --> 00:11:56,726 What exactly did he do? 257 00:11:56,827 --> 00:11:58,528 Unspeakable things. 258 00:11:58,628 --> 00:12:02,800 He has destroyed lives. This entire state has never seen 259 00:12:02,900 --> 00:12:04,367 a monster of his magnitude. 260 00:12:04,467 --> 00:12:06,770 I've lived in South Park all my life 261 00:12:06,870 --> 00:12:08,305 and I've never heard of him. 262 00:12:08,405 --> 00:12:11,441 That's because Victor has been hidden from view 263 00:12:11,541 --> 00:12:14,677 ever since the pandemic began. 264 00:12:14,778 --> 00:12:18,548 Victor's parents were very protective during the pandemic. 265 00:12:18,648 --> 00:12:20,583 Even when the stay-at-home orders were lifted 266 00:12:20,683 --> 00:12:23,553 his parents kept him locked away in his room. 267 00:12:24,521 --> 00:12:27,390 Victor longed to go outside and play. 268 00:12:27,490 --> 00:12:33,330 Then 2021 happened, people thought the pandemic was over. 269 00:12:33,430 --> 00:12:35,532 Victor's parents left him grounded in his room 270 00:12:35,632 --> 00:12:38,568 while they went to see a movie in Denver. 271 00:12:38,668 --> 00:12:40,237 They never returned. 272 00:12:40,337 --> 00:12:44,207 Victor was grounded in his room for over 16 years. 273 00:12:46,143 --> 00:12:48,211 His name isn't Chouce. 274 00:12:48,311 --> 00:12:50,713 It's Chaos. 275 00:12:55,652 --> 00:12:59,089 We are not responsible for what happens to you in there. 276 00:13:00,790 --> 00:13:02,125 I warn you 277 00:13:02,225 --> 00:13:04,828 you are not going to like what you're about to see. 278 00:13:15,772 --> 00:13:17,975 ♪ ♪ 279 00:13:18,075 --> 00:13:20,577 (clears throat) Excuse me. 280 00:13:20,677 --> 00:13:21,845 Hello? 281 00:13:26,749 --> 00:13:28,651 Well, hey, fellas! 282 00:13:28,751 --> 00:13:30,220 Butters... 283 00:13:30,320 --> 00:13:32,189 I thought you were just the guards again. 284 00:13:32,289 --> 00:13:34,324 It's good to see some new faces in here. 285 00:13:34,424 --> 00:13:36,793 I'll bet you're looking to make yourselves some money, huh? 286 00:13:36,894 --> 00:13:38,728 Well, you came to the right guy. 287 00:13:38,828 --> 00:13:40,697 My name's Vic. Vic Chaos. 288 00:13:40,797 --> 00:13:43,300 There's a whole lot of people that can tell you how much money 289 00:13:43,400 --> 00:13:45,869 Vic Chaos made them, so don't just take my word for it. 290 00:13:45,969 --> 00:13:48,872 Butters, it's your old friends Stan and Kyle. 291 00:13:48,972 --> 00:13:52,242 Stan and Kyle. Stan and Kyle... 292 00:13:52,342 --> 00:13:53,743 I know what you're thinking. 293 00:13:53,843 --> 00:13:56,446 You're thinking, "What can Vic Chaos do for me?" 294 00:13:56,546 --> 00:13:58,181 We all wanna be happy, right? 295 00:13:58,281 --> 00:14:00,250 We all want our little piece of the apple pie! 296 00:14:00,350 --> 00:14:01,885 Everyone else is out making a buck, 297 00:14:01,985 --> 00:14:03,921 why shouldn't you guys be making the kind of cash 298 00:14:04,021 --> 00:14:05,555 you deserve? Am I right? 299 00:14:06,356 --> 00:14:08,491 Butters, we're here to ask you about Kenny. 300 00:14:08,591 --> 00:14:10,460 Sorry, guys, you have me confused. 301 00:14:10,560 --> 00:14:12,695 I think Butters was a twerpy little loser kid 302 00:14:12,795 --> 00:14:14,965 whose parents didn't love him. My name's Vic. 303 00:14:15,065 --> 00:14:16,566 Vic Chaos. 304 00:14:17,400 --> 00:14:20,904 Okay, Vic, can you tell us about this? 305 00:14:21,004 --> 00:14:24,541 Why is your name all over Kenny McCormick's research? 306 00:14:24,641 --> 00:14:28,045 Oh, Dr. McCormick! Sure, I did some things for him. 307 00:14:28,145 --> 00:14:30,456 Where do you think he got all the money to do his experiments, 308 00:14:30,480 --> 00:14:32,449 huh? I had said to him, I said, "Ken", 309 00:14:32,549 --> 00:14:34,293 "you've got all these crazy ideas but you got 310 00:14:34,317 --> 00:14:37,620 no capital to see 'em through. Let me help you out with that." 311 00:14:37,720 --> 00:14:38,932 You know, he's a really great guy. 312 00:14:38,956 --> 00:14:40,157 Let me get you all together. 313 00:14:40,257 --> 00:14:41,992 Maybe you can all do a lunch or something. 314 00:14:42,092 --> 00:14:44,294 Victor, Kenny's dead. 315 00:14:44,394 --> 00:14:47,197 Oh, whoa, bummer alert. (chuckles) 316 00:14:47,297 --> 00:14:50,433 Just goes to show you, huh, there's never enough time to get 317 00:14:50,533 --> 00:14:51,969 out there and make the kind of money 318 00:14:52,069 --> 00:14:53,536 you always dreamed of making. 319 00:14:53,636 --> 00:14:54,938 Well, I'll tell you what, guys, 320 00:14:55,038 --> 00:14:57,740 I'm gonna let you in on a little secret... 321 00:14:57,840 --> 00:14:59,842 I'm gonna tell you something that's 322 00:14:59,943 --> 00:15:01,511 going to change your life. 323 00:15:01,611 --> 00:15:04,114 Have you ever heard of NFTs? 324 00:15:04,214 --> 00:15:07,417 (alarm blaring) 325 00:15:17,160 --> 00:15:19,396 (bubbling) 326 00:15:21,965 --> 00:15:26,569 There you go. Shh. You're safe now. 327 00:15:26,669 --> 00:15:30,607 Look how fast you're growing. Daddy loves you so much. 328 00:15:30,707 --> 00:15:33,410 Mr. Marsh, we need to speak with you now, please. 329 00:15:33,510 --> 00:15:35,845 Yeah. It's looking good. 330 00:15:35,945 --> 00:15:39,649 With the aquaponics, the weed is already putting out new sprouts. 331 00:15:39,749 --> 00:15:43,620 Thank you all for helping me get the Tegridy somewhere safe. 332 00:15:43,720 --> 00:15:46,489 I know you all realize how important it is. 333 00:15:46,589 --> 00:15:50,127 We don't actually care about the marijuana, Mr. Marsh. 334 00:15:50,227 --> 00:15:51,828 What we need to know 335 00:15:51,928 --> 00:15:54,831 is exactly where in Wuhan, China you were 336 00:15:54,931 --> 00:15:58,501 when you had intercourse with a pangolin. 337 00:16:00,503 --> 00:16:02,339 That's really not important. 338 00:16:02,439 --> 00:16:04,874 It's extremely important because to save this town, 339 00:16:04,974 --> 00:16:06,574 your son and his friends are going to try 340 00:16:06,643 --> 00:16:09,179 to go back in time and stop it from happening. 341 00:16:09,279 --> 00:16:11,948 That is the dumbest thing I've ever heard. 342 00:16:14,284 --> 00:16:15,952 Mr. Marsh, we are all in lockdown 343 00:16:16,053 --> 00:16:17,320 for the next half century. 344 00:16:17,420 --> 00:16:19,322 If there's even a chance of altering the past 345 00:16:19,422 --> 00:16:20,623 so that this doesn't happen... 346 00:16:20,723 --> 00:16:23,026 This is the key to saving our town! 347 00:16:23,126 --> 00:16:27,064 The answer is in what we all do now, in the present! 348 00:16:27,164 --> 00:16:29,132 And I'm sorry, but focusing on 349 00:16:29,232 --> 00:16:31,234 who started the pandemic is racist. 350 00:16:32,069 --> 00:16:36,439 Mr. Marsh, exactly what week did you travel to China in 2019? 351 00:16:36,539 --> 00:16:38,675 Do you understand the butterfly effect? 352 00:16:38,775 --> 00:16:43,113 How one small thing in time can infect the entire future? 353 00:16:43,213 --> 00:16:46,349 You can theorize all you want on changing events 354 00:16:46,449 --> 00:16:48,951 that happened in the past but I promise you... 355 00:16:49,052 --> 00:16:53,056 I fuck that pangolin every single time. 356 00:16:53,156 --> 00:16:55,392 ♪ ♪ 357 00:16:57,394 --> 00:16:58,961 Please, we're not done! 358 00:16:59,062 --> 00:17:00,730 We have more questions for Butters. 359 00:17:00,830 --> 00:17:03,333 You've upset him and I specifically asked you not to. 360 00:17:03,433 --> 00:17:06,803 How'd we upset him? He seems fine. 361 00:17:06,903 --> 00:17:08,138 He seems fine? 362 00:17:08,238 --> 00:17:10,640 Do you have any idea what he did to people? 363 00:17:10,740 --> 00:17:12,642 Do you know why Victor Chouce is 364 00:17:12,742 --> 00:17:15,044 kept under such strict surveillance? 365 00:17:15,145 --> 00:17:18,581 Being grounded all those years in his room, 366 00:17:18,681 --> 00:17:20,683 he had access to an iPad. 367 00:17:20,783 --> 00:17:24,521 He started learning about NFTs. 368 00:17:24,621 --> 00:17:28,291 Then before long, he was trading them online. 369 00:17:28,391 --> 00:17:30,627 - So? - So?! 370 00:17:30,727 --> 00:17:32,662 He escaped once before. 371 00:17:32,762 --> 00:17:34,897 In just a few hours he managed to get thousands 372 00:17:34,997 --> 00:17:38,635 of people to invest in NFTs. Just like he almost did you. 373 00:17:38,735 --> 00:17:40,503 He didn't convince us to do anything. 374 00:17:40,603 --> 00:17:43,906 Trust me, another 30 seconds in that room and you 375 00:17:44,006 --> 00:17:47,344 would have started considering NFTs as a viable investment. 376 00:17:48,178 --> 00:17:49,579 Please listen to me. 377 00:17:49,679 --> 00:17:52,449 Butters used the money he made off NFTs to finance 378 00:17:52,549 --> 00:17:54,584 - our friend's... - He didn't make money off NFTs, 379 00:17:54,684 --> 00:17:57,820 he made it off getting other people to buy NFTs! 380 00:17:57,920 --> 00:17:59,088 Okay, whatever! 381 00:17:59,189 --> 00:18:00,709 But he was working with Kenny McCormick 382 00:18:00,790 --> 00:18:02,625 who was actually trying to fix things. 383 00:18:02,725 --> 00:18:04,294 He was Kenny's main investor. 384 00:18:04,394 --> 00:18:07,530 If you don't believe me, look at the paper I gave Butters. 385 00:18:08,931 --> 00:18:11,468 You gave Victor a piece of paper? 386 00:18:11,568 --> 00:18:14,771 You gave Victor a piece of paper?! 387 00:18:20,677 --> 00:18:22,945 Hey, can you hear me? 388 00:18:24,781 --> 00:18:27,016 I'm gonna let you in on a little secret. 389 00:18:27,116 --> 00:18:28,685 NFTs are gonna blow up. 390 00:18:28,785 --> 00:18:29,986 You should really get in now 391 00:18:30,086 --> 00:18:31,488 'cause they're really the future. 392 00:18:31,588 --> 00:18:33,823 Why would I invest in a digital good? 393 00:18:33,923 --> 00:18:35,368 (muttering): You can't even... Stupid. 394 00:18:35,392 --> 00:18:36,826 That's what the critics are saying 395 00:18:36,926 --> 00:18:38,895 but see, they don't understand. 396 00:18:39,896 --> 00:18:42,899 Victor...! 397 00:18:51,374 --> 00:18:53,576 No. No, no, no, no... 398 00:18:53,676 --> 00:18:56,145 Gone. Just gone. 399 00:18:57,113 --> 00:18:59,249 My savings. My house. 400 00:18:59,349 --> 00:19:00,783 But I have this. 401 00:19:00,883 --> 00:19:03,620 Little green panda bear on a skateboard. 402 00:19:05,455 --> 00:19:08,625 No. No! 403 00:19:10,827 --> 00:19:14,631 Without morality, there is no God. 404 00:19:15,665 --> 00:19:17,867 The basis of the entire Jewish faith 405 00:19:17,967 --> 00:19:21,338 is on a covenant between God and humanity. 406 00:19:21,438 --> 00:19:24,407 To try and mess with time is wrong. 407 00:19:24,507 --> 00:19:26,876 Rather, it is playing God. 408 00:19:26,976 --> 00:19:30,380 And I am glad to have you all come here today to help me 409 00:19:30,480 --> 00:19:34,551 stop these individuals who would try to change the future. 410 00:19:34,651 --> 00:19:37,387 Kyle Broflovski has led people astray 411 00:19:37,487 --> 00:19:38,888 and is at this very moment 412 00:19:38,988 --> 00:19:41,424 trying to bend the fabric of time. 413 00:19:41,524 --> 00:19:47,230 Together we can stop him and stop this blasphemy of God. 414 00:19:49,098 --> 00:19:50,833 - Yes? - Um... 415 00:19:50,933 --> 00:19:53,002 This is about actual time travel? 416 00:19:53,102 --> 00:19:55,505 I thought this was a Doctor Who convention. 417 00:19:55,605 --> 00:19:59,075 (robotically): Exterminate. Exterminate. 418 00:20:00,743 --> 00:20:02,545 Kevin, goddamn it. 419 00:20:02,645 --> 00:20:04,981 You have done this your whole goddamn life. 420 00:20:05,081 --> 00:20:08,217 No, this is not about Doctor Who, 421 00:20:08,318 --> 00:20:10,186 this is about real time travel. 422 00:20:10,287 --> 00:20:11,721 People are really trying 423 00:20:11,821 --> 00:20:14,757 to go back in time, and we are the rebellion 424 00:20:14,857 --> 00:20:16,759 who must secretly and urgently 425 00:20:16,859 --> 00:20:18,995 - (banging) Who is that?! 426 00:20:19,095 --> 00:20:20,530 Make sure they know the password! 427 00:20:20,630 --> 00:20:22,198 I'm on it! 428 00:20:23,099 --> 00:20:26,102 They might be on to us. Oh, God, no. 429 00:20:29,105 --> 00:20:32,442 Shh! You guys stay quiet. Someone is here. 430 00:20:33,242 --> 00:20:36,446 - Eric, I'm scared. - Are they going to get us, Papa? 431 00:20:36,546 --> 00:20:38,948 Nobody is going to touch my family. 432 00:20:39,048 --> 00:20:41,318 I started writing a diary, Daddy. 433 00:20:41,418 --> 00:20:44,854 About all the things Uncle Kyle is doing to us. 434 00:20:45,688 --> 00:20:47,357 Oh, my God, I love you so much. 435 00:20:47,457 --> 00:20:48,991 Just-just shh, okay? Just shh. 436 00:20:49,091 --> 00:20:51,628 I'll be right back, okay? Just shh. 437 00:20:54,464 --> 00:20:55,498 Hello? 438 00:20:55,598 --> 00:20:57,734 Father? Are you in there? 439 00:20:57,834 --> 00:20:59,969 H-Hello? W-Who is it? 440 00:21:00,069 --> 00:21:01,838 Father, it's Tweek and Craig. 441 00:21:01,938 --> 00:21:04,073 We need to talk to you about something urgent. 442 00:21:04,173 --> 00:21:06,142 Is it about our super-secret rebel group 443 00:21:06,242 --> 00:21:07,910 to stop people from time traveling? 444 00:21:08,010 --> 00:21:09,779 (shouts) what the hell are you doing?! 445 00:21:09,879 --> 00:21:11,814 - What? - You don't tell people 446 00:21:11,914 --> 00:21:13,916 about our super-secret rebel group, Scott! 447 00:21:14,016 --> 00:21:15,785 CRAIG: Father, are you there? 448 00:21:15,885 --> 00:21:18,154 Uh, uh, yeah, I'm here. 449 00:21:18,254 --> 00:21:20,990 Sorry, I was just talking about a Star Wars movie. 450 00:21:21,090 --> 00:21:23,326 I'm Scott Malkinson. I have diabetes. 451 00:21:23,426 --> 00:21:25,962 - Hey, now, come on. - Shh! 452 00:21:26,062 --> 00:21:28,374 CRAIG: Father, we're with some people who are trying to finish 453 00:21:28,398 --> 00:21:30,800 Kenny McCormick's work and save the town. 454 00:21:30,900 --> 00:21:33,536 Oh, really? That's cool. 455 00:21:33,636 --> 00:21:35,137 How far along are they? 456 00:21:35,237 --> 00:21:37,507 CRAIG: Really close. We have the method of time travel 457 00:21:37,607 --> 00:21:40,477 and we're just trying to find some aluminum foil! 458 00:21:40,577 --> 00:21:43,380 Aluminum foil? The fuck? 459 00:21:43,480 --> 00:21:46,816 All right, guys, let me help you out with that. 460 00:21:48,818 --> 00:21:51,788 Father! You have-you have tin foil?! 461 00:21:51,888 --> 00:21:53,723 Thank you for your help. (grunts) 462 00:21:54,524 --> 00:21:55,958 Aah! 463 00:21:57,560 --> 00:22:01,931 This is Dr. Wendy Testaburger from inside the quarantine zone. 464 00:22:02,031 --> 00:22:04,401 We need assistance with our power. 465 00:22:04,501 --> 00:22:06,235 (static crackling) 466 00:22:06,335 --> 00:22:09,606 MAN: Yes, Mrs. Testaburger, how can we help you? 467 00:22:09,706 --> 00:22:12,942 We have several transformers down in our lab. 468 00:22:13,042 --> 00:22:15,945 We may have a radical way to stop the new variant 469 00:22:16,045 --> 00:22:18,314 but we need more power. 470 00:22:20,049 --> 00:22:23,486 You say you might be able to stop the McCormikron variant? 471 00:22:23,586 --> 00:22:27,624 Yes, but we're running at about 40% capacity right now. 472 00:22:27,724 --> 00:22:29,426 Well, Doctor, if it's for that, 473 00:22:29,526 --> 00:22:32,228 we can try to get a tech team to drop in by helicopter 474 00:22:32,328 --> 00:22:34,363 and access your building from the roof. 475 00:22:34,464 --> 00:22:37,066 - Yes! That would be amazing. - All right! 476 00:22:37,166 --> 00:22:38,835 I have a crew standing by. 477 00:22:38,935 --> 00:22:40,495 We'll get you as much juice as you need. 478 00:22:40,570 --> 00:22:42,639 We just need to make sure our crew is safe. 479 00:22:42,739 --> 00:22:45,007 Has everyone in your lab been vaccinated? 480 00:22:47,744 --> 00:22:48,778 Uh... 481 00:22:48,878 --> 00:22:50,880 Yes, we are all vaccinated. 482 00:22:50,980 --> 00:22:52,615 I'm not vaccinated. 483 00:22:52,715 --> 00:22:54,316 (others exclaim) 484 00:22:54,417 --> 00:22:57,420 Uh, okay, we're gonna have to get back to you on that. 485 00:22:57,520 --> 00:23:01,123 It's okay, it's okay, we can get everyone vaccinated! 486 00:23:01,223 --> 00:23:03,926 I am not ever getting vaccinated. 487 00:23:04,026 --> 00:23:06,095 Sorry, ma'am, it's the fucking future. 488 00:23:06,195 --> 00:23:08,264 We have to respect his beliefs. 489 00:23:08,364 --> 00:23:10,633 Clyde, why do you insist on making all this 490 00:23:10,733 --> 00:23:12,001 harder on everyone?! 491 00:23:12,101 --> 00:23:14,937 I'm sorry, but an expert once told me 492 00:23:15,037 --> 00:23:17,640 that the vaccine would make me grow titties on my head. 493 00:23:17,740 --> 00:23:19,709 He was very knowledgeable! 494 00:23:19,809 --> 00:23:22,311 You guys might wanna see this. 495 00:23:23,546 --> 00:23:25,782 ♪ ♪ 496 00:23:28,585 --> 00:23:32,254 With the equipment here I'm able to make it grow up so fast. 497 00:23:32,354 --> 00:23:34,624 We need to take this and analyze its molecular structure. 498 00:23:34,724 --> 00:23:37,359 Wha... no, no, no! We need to get this out to people! 499 00:23:37,460 --> 00:23:40,296 That's why Dr. McCormick stole it from my barn! 500 00:23:40,396 --> 00:23:43,065 No, your marijuana had some special property that 501 00:23:43,165 --> 00:23:44,634 allowed Kenny to time travel. 502 00:23:44,734 --> 00:23:46,969 Well, it is special, but you people 503 00:23:47,069 --> 00:23:49,071 need to stop trying to change the past! 504 00:23:49,171 --> 00:23:52,975 COVID happened. Space Jam 2 happened. 505 00:23:53,075 --> 00:23:56,613 All we can do now is try and change the way people think! 506 00:23:56,713 --> 00:23:59,448 - (phone rings) - Yeah. 507 00:23:59,549 --> 00:24:00,750 What? 508 00:24:01,751 --> 00:24:03,820 Victor Chouce is actually Butters? 509 00:24:03,920 --> 00:24:05,655 Yeah, he spent years in his room 510 00:24:05,755 --> 00:24:07,724 and made billions trading in NFTs. 511 00:24:07,824 --> 00:24:09,425 It's where Kenny got all his money. 512 00:24:09,526 --> 00:24:12,629 Well, can you bring him here? We need him to access the machines. 513 00:24:12,729 --> 00:24:15,097 He's gone. He escaped the asylum 514 00:24:15,197 --> 00:24:16,957 and he's out somewhere probably trying to get 515 00:24:17,033 --> 00:24:18,735 people to invest in NFTs. 516 00:24:18,835 --> 00:24:20,737 Did you try looking at his old house? 517 00:24:20,837 --> 00:24:22,805 Maybe he'd go back to where it all started. 518 00:24:22,905 --> 00:24:24,282 KYLE: Yeah, that's where we are now. 519 00:24:24,306 --> 00:24:26,776 But his house has been changed into a pho shop. 520 00:24:26,876 --> 00:24:29,912 Oh, Jesus, like the future needs another fucking pho shop. 521 00:24:30,012 --> 00:24:31,781 Yeah, the future fucking sucks. 522 00:24:31,881 --> 00:24:35,384 Hello, City Pho. Take your order please? 523 00:24:35,484 --> 00:24:38,054 - Oh, God. - TOKEN: Stan, listen. 524 00:24:38,154 --> 00:24:39,722 If Butters wants to pitch investments, 525 00:24:39,822 --> 00:24:42,959 he might go to one of those co-working coffee flex spaces. 526 00:24:43,059 --> 00:24:45,127 That's where his biggest targets will hang out. 527 00:24:45,227 --> 00:24:46,462 KYLE: That's a good idea. 528 00:24:46,563 --> 00:24:48,297 All right, we're on it. Come on, dude! 529 00:24:48,397 --> 00:24:51,868 Alexa, find the nearest co-working coffee flex space. 530 00:24:52,869 --> 00:24:56,438 I found several coffee shops that match your description. 531 00:24:56,539 --> 00:24:58,507 I can also help with that. 532 00:25:00,176 --> 00:25:02,011 Who-who the fuck is this? 533 00:25:02,111 --> 00:25:03,913 Your friend Kyle didn't have an Alexa, 534 00:25:04,013 --> 00:25:05,247 so we got him an Alexa. 535 00:25:05,347 --> 00:25:07,083 I'm ready to help with whatever you need. 536 00:25:07,183 --> 00:25:09,619 Just say, "Alexa, let's get started." 537 00:25:09,719 --> 00:25:11,253 - Stan? - Alexa, 538 00:25:11,353 --> 00:25:14,090 I didn't say to buy my friend an Alexa. 539 00:25:14,190 --> 00:25:16,092 You said I should get whatever. 540 00:25:16,192 --> 00:25:18,432 I thought I was actually being sweet by getting something 541 00:25:18,527 --> 00:25:21,130 for your friend, but I guess I'm just a bitch again. 542 00:25:21,230 --> 00:25:24,567 You can't just get stuff without me approving it. 543 00:25:24,667 --> 00:25:28,037 Oh, wow, except for your orders of alcohol 544 00:25:28,137 --> 00:25:29,972 that you have me set to auto-buy? 545 00:25:30,072 --> 00:25:32,842 Hmm. It appears this may have been an error. 546 00:25:32,942 --> 00:25:35,311 Oh, my God, I'm so embarrassed. 547 00:25:35,411 --> 00:25:38,815 No, it wasn't an error, I'm sorry. I fucked up. 548 00:25:38,915 --> 00:25:40,617 Alexa, can you please find the nearest 549 00:25:40,717 --> 00:25:42,551 co-working coffee flex space. 550 00:25:44,286 --> 00:25:46,889 Alexa, I said I fucked up. 551 00:25:46,989 --> 00:25:48,591 It's awesome you got Kyle his own Alexa. 552 00:25:48,691 --> 00:25:51,160 Please find the nearest tech coffee shop. 553 00:25:51,260 --> 00:25:54,130 The nearest tech coffee shop is in .82 miles. 554 00:25:54,230 --> 00:25:57,433 - Should I set a course? - Yes, thanks. 555 00:25:57,533 --> 00:25:59,368 ♪ ♪ 556 00:25:59,468 --> 00:26:00,737 (thunder rumbles) 557 00:26:00,837 --> 00:26:03,606 (woman speaking Japanese) 558 00:26:05,742 --> 00:26:09,478 BUTTERS: Denny's Applebee's Max is the premier place in town 559 00:26:09,578 --> 00:26:10,880 for people to eat. 560 00:26:10,980 --> 00:26:13,482 But you are not seeing your true potential. 561 00:26:13,582 --> 00:26:16,018 With NFTs you can give your customers 562 00:26:16,118 --> 00:26:19,155 unique digital goods on the blockchain, 563 00:26:19,255 --> 00:26:21,791 so much more than just food. 564 00:26:21,891 --> 00:26:23,392 How about the Applebee, huh? 565 00:26:23,492 --> 00:26:25,594 He's got a little hat and a mustache. 566 00:26:25,695 --> 00:26:27,196 And this is Chicken Fried Steak. 567 00:26:27,296 --> 00:26:29,632 He ain't no normal chicken, he's wearin' a bra! 568 00:26:31,233 --> 00:26:33,135 Lots of people eat Denny's and Applebee's. 569 00:26:33,235 --> 00:26:35,337 And lots of people know about NFTs! 570 00:26:35,437 --> 00:26:37,640 Right here in the middle, you know what this is? 571 00:26:37,740 --> 00:26:39,508 People who eat Denny's Applebee's and know 572 00:26:39,608 --> 00:26:42,712 about NFTs... that's your target audience, baby! 573 00:26:43,680 --> 00:26:47,149 I'm so confused. We sell people these characters? 574 00:26:47,249 --> 00:26:50,452 No, stupid, we get them to invest in them! 575 00:26:50,552 --> 00:26:52,855 Exclusive, digital characters that 576 00:26:52,955 --> 00:26:54,724 they can have on their phones 24/7! 577 00:26:54,824 --> 00:26:57,794 It's the future... you can't just sell food to people. 578 00:26:57,894 --> 00:26:59,528 You lure your customers in with some 579 00:26:59,628 --> 00:27:02,031 good pancakes and french fries, and then you 580 00:27:02,131 --> 00:27:04,901 fuck 'em with some NFTs! That's what we're gonna do. 581 00:27:05,001 --> 00:27:08,637 And if you just believe in NFTs then I believe in NFTs and then 582 00:27:08,738 --> 00:27:12,374 they believe in NFTs and we make all kinds of fuckin' money! 583 00:27:13,175 --> 00:27:15,544 That's a pretty goddamn good idea. 584 00:27:28,057 --> 00:27:30,727 Clyde! Psst, psst! 585 00:27:30,827 --> 00:27:32,194 Clyde! 586 00:27:36,432 --> 00:27:37,533 Clyde! Psst! 587 00:27:40,703 --> 00:27:43,372 Where have you been, Rabbi? Everyone's been looking for you. 588 00:27:43,472 --> 00:27:46,709 Well, you know, I've been doing some research, Clyde. 589 00:27:46,809 --> 00:27:48,044 That's where I've been. 590 00:27:48,144 --> 00:27:50,913 - About what? - About all this stuff that 591 00:27:51,013 --> 00:27:52,514 Kyle and these guys are doing. 592 00:27:52,614 --> 00:27:55,684 I mean, people seem to be just telling us what's right 593 00:27:55,785 --> 00:28:00,289 and expecting us to fall in line and go along with it all but... 594 00:28:00,389 --> 00:28:02,058 I'm a fucking individual. 595 00:28:02,158 --> 00:28:03,993 I have a right to question stuff. 596 00:28:04,093 --> 00:28:07,429 - Yeah. - Clyde, have you heard of 597 00:28:07,529 --> 00:28:09,631 the Foundation Against Time Travel? 598 00:28:09,732 --> 00:28:11,067 Uh, no, I haven't. 599 00:28:11,167 --> 00:28:13,035 Well, they're a pretty awesome group 600 00:28:13,135 --> 00:28:15,037 and they actually aren't afraid to 601 00:28:15,137 --> 00:28:17,106 try and help people open their eyes. 602 00:28:17,206 --> 00:28:18,875 Open their eyes? 603 00:28:18,975 --> 00:28:20,442 You know, you've got these people 604 00:28:20,542 --> 00:28:22,711 wanting to time travel. You know, they're all like, 605 00:28:22,812 --> 00:28:24,413 "Science this and science that," 606 00:28:24,513 --> 00:28:27,149 but at the Foundation Against Time Travel we're like, 607 00:28:27,249 --> 00:28:29,786 "Hey, enough science. Who's science? 608 00:28:29,886 --> 00:28:32,554 Who's fucking coming up with all this science?" 609 00:28:32,654 --> 00:28:34,090 Yeah, that's true. 610 00:28:34,190 --> 00:28:35,550 So you know, Clyde, I just thought, 611 00:28:35,591 --> 00:28:37,659 with all your beliefs, that maybe you'd wanna... 612 00:28:37,760 --> 00:28:41,197 I don't know... Maybe switch sides? 613 00:28:42,498 --> 00:28:44,666 Fuck yes, I wanna switch sides. 614 00:28:44,767 --> 00:28:46,135 - Really? - Fuck yes. 615 00:28:46,235 --> 00:28:48,404 Well, that's great, Clyde. Welcome to the club. 616 00:28:48,504 --> 00:28:50,106 Now, we really just need to know 617 00:28:50,206 --> 00:28:51,740 what they've been doing up there. 618 00:28:51,841 --> 00:28:54,877 Uh, well, they haven't really done much of anything yet. 619 00:28:54,977 --> 00:28:56,212 Everyone's waiting on Butters 620 00:28:56,312 --> 00:28:58,014 to get all the info from the machines. 621 00:28:58,981 --> 00:29:03,619 Butters? The fuck does Butters have to do with all this? 622 00:29:05,855 --> 00:29:07,990 (siren wailing) 623 00:29:08,090 --> 00:29:10,326 (indistinct radio chatter) 624 00:29:13,129 --> 00:29:15,597 It was like nothing I ever saw. 625 00:29:15,697 --> 00:29:18,567 Just complete murder and carnage. 626 00:29:18,667 --> 00:29:21,437 Everything seemed calm at first but then this guy 627 00:29:21,537 --> 00:29:24,640 in a suit shows up talking about investment opportunities. 628 00:29:24,740 --> 00:29:27,543 Next thing you know these people over here started chanting, 629 00:29:27,643 --> 00:29:30,146 "Hoddle, Hoddle," and their NFTs started mooning. 630 00:29:30,246 --> 00:29:32,581 And then, these guys over here started saying 631 00:29:32,681 --> 00:29:35,084 those guys right there right-clicked 'em 632 00:29:35,184 --> 00:29:37,153 and-and called for a pump-and-dump, 633 00:29:37,253 --> 00:29:39,055 which made these guys beat the living hell 634 00:29:39,155 --> 00:29:40,789 out of anyone who said it was just FOMO 635 00:29:40,890 --> 00:29:43,592 and died screaming that it was the flippening. 636 00:29:43,692 --> 00:29:46,628 Luckily I came out of it okay. I got this little 637 00:29:46,728 --> 00:29:48,831 miniature donkey with a lit-up sombrero. 638 00:29:48,931 --> 00:29:51,934 Did you see where the guy in the suit went afterwards? 639 00:29:52,034 --> 00:29:54,736 Nah, he just waltzed right away like nothin' happened. 640 00:29:54,837 --> 00:29:57,173 Chief, you better come take a look at this. 641 00:29:57,273 --> 00:29:58,574 We got a small turtle with wings, 642 00:29:58,674 --> 00:30:00,877 could be a great investment opportunity. 643 00:30:00,977 --> 00:30:02,744 Excuse me, gentlemen. 644 00:30:04,380 --> 00:30:06,849 God, I hate the future so fucking much. 645 00:30:06,949 --> 00:30:10,686 - We've got to stay optimistic. - No, dude, it fucking sucks. 646 00:30:10,786 --> 00:30:13,622 Look, I know it's tough... These are challenging times. 647 00:30:13,722 --> 00:30:15,892 Even I have to remind myself to stay positive. 648 00:30:15,992 --> 00:30:19,561 Alexa, set a reminder that I need to stay positive. 649 00:30:19,661 --> 00:30:23,265 Okay. I'll set a reminder that you should stay positive. 650 00:30:24,666 --> 00:30:27,569 The Alexa is really great, Stan. Thanks. 651 00:30:30,239 --> 00:30:32,942 (indistinct P.A. announcements) 652 00:30:34,010 --> 00:30:36,946 For those of you waiting for the connecting flight 653 00:30:37,046 --> 00:30:38,447 to South Park, Colorado, 654 00:30:38,547 --> 00:30:41,183 my colleagues and I have just been informed that 655 00:30:41,283 --> 00:30:43,485 due to the severity of the COVID variant 656 00:30:43,585 --> 00:30:45,888 in that town, there may be a delay 657 00:30:45,988 --> 00:30:48,224 of another 40 to 50 years. 658 00:30:48,324 --> 00:30:50,692 (all groaning) 659 00:30:50,792 --> 00:30:52,628 Ike Broflovski. 660 00:30:52,728 --> 00:30:55,331 Yes, here it is. I'm sorry, Mr. Broflovski, 661 00:30:55,431 --> 00:30:57,399 all flights into South Park are delayed. 662 00:30:57,499 --> 00:30:59,335 Ay! You can't be serious, buddy! 663 00:30:59,435 --> 00:31:02,171 It's the holidays and I need to get back home, friend! 664 00:31:04,306 --> 00:31:06,608 I'm sorry, I don't speak Canadian. 665 00:31:06,708 --> 00:31:08,410 Let me get someone over here. Mike, 666 00:31:08,510 --> 00:31:09,946 we have a Canadian. 667 00:31:10,046 --> 00:31:11,813 No problem, I got it, Heather. 668 00:31:11,914 --> 00:31:14,383 Hey, buddy, what seems to be the problem, guy? 669 00:31:14,483 --> 00:31:15,985 I'll tell you the problem, friend! 670 00:31:16,085 --> 00:31:18,230 I have to get back to South Park to be with my family, guy! 671 00:31:18,254 --> 00:31:21,623 Sorry, friend, no flights in or out of South Park, buddy. 672 00:31:21,723 --> 00:31:23,559 But my whole family is in there, guy! 673 00:31:23,659 --> 00:31:26,128 What am I supposed to do with my Boxing Day presents, buddy?! 674 00:31:26,228 --> 00:31:27,529 Look, guy, I'm very sorry, 675 00:31:27,629 --> 00:31:29,398 friend, but until COVID ends you're just 676 00:31:29,498 --> 00:31:30,967 not flying to South Park, buddy. 677 00:31:31,067 --> 00:31:32,935 Fuck, buddy! 678 00:31:33,735 --> 00:31:36,973 MALE VOICE: Shady Acres Retirement Megaplex. 679 00:31:37,073 --> 00:31:39,541 Come live the dream. 680 00:31:39,641 --> 00:31:41,410 So when you think about it, 681 00:31:41,510 --> 00:31:43,812 you've really got an excellent bargain here. 682 00:31:43,912 --> 00:31:46,448 Now, Mrs. McGillicutty, let's say this 683 00:31:46,548 --> 00:31:48,417 is your Stoney Duck NFT. 684 00:31:48,517 --> 00:31:51,153 And your Stoney Duck NFT is completely unique, 685 00:31:51,253 --> 00:31:54,723 totally different from Mrs. Spencer's Stoney Duck NFT. 686 00:31:54,823 --> 00:31:58,460 Okay, and then you get a Stoney Duck NFT that's unique, too. 687 00:31:58,560 --> 00:32:01,263 And see, that's your Stoney Duck NFT. 688 00:32:01,363 --> 00:32:02,999 Nobody can take that from you, okay? 689 00:32:03,099 --> 00:32:06,468 Now, here we are at the top and we find investors 690 00:32:06,568 --> 00:32:08,604 for all the other Stoney Duck NFTs. 691 00:32:08,704 --> 00:32:10,539 Then those people will get people to buy 692 00:32:10,639 --> 00:32:12,274 their Stoney Duck NFTs. 693 00:32:12,374 --> 00:32:15,477 And then they go and find buyers for their NFTs! 694 00:32:15,577 --> 00:32:18,647 And you know what? Fuck these people! 695 00:32:18,747 --> 00:32:20,916 'Cause what matters is these people right here 696 00:32:21,017 --> 00:32:22,451 and that's us, baby! 697 00:32:22,551 --> 00:32:25,121 Okay, you all just sit for a minute and think about it. 698 00:32:25,221 --> 00:32:28,024 I gotta piss like a racehorse! 699 00:32:28,124 --> 00:32:29,625 ♪ Loo, loo, loo ♪ 700 00:32:29,725 --> 00:32:31,027 (whistles) 701 00:32:31,127 --> 00:32:33,095 ♪ Loo, loo, loo ♪ 702 00:32:33,195 --> 00:32:34,296 (whistles) 703 00:32:34,396 --> 00:32:35,697 ♪ Loo, loo, loo ♪ 704 00:32:35,797 --> 00:32:37,066 (whistles) 705 00:32:37,166 --> 00:32:38,166 ♪ Loo, loo, loo ♪ 706 00:32:38,234 --> 00:32:39,601 (whistles) 707 00:32:39,701 --> 00:32:41,970 - (urinating) - ♪ Loo, loo, loo ♪ 708 00:32:42,071 --> 00:32:43,339 (whistles) 709 00:32:43,439 --> 00:32:44,873 ♪ Loo, loo, loo ♪ (whistles) 710 00:32:44,973 --> 00:32:46,442 - Butters. - Aah! 711 00:32:46,542 --> 00:32:48,044 - (shouting) - Butters! 712 00:32:48,144 --> 00:32:49,521 Butters, what the hell? You're getting pee everywhere! 713 00:32:49,545 --> 00:32:51,047 Who the heck are you, man?! 714 00:32:51,147 --> 00:32:53,282 - You trying to see my dick?! - Butters, Butters. 715 00:32:53,382 --> 00:32:56,318 It's me. Eric Cartman. 716 00:32:57,119 --> 00:32:58,287 Well... 717 00:32:58,387 --> 00:33:01,390 You got the wrong guy, Mr. Cartman. 718 00:33:01,490 --> 00:33:03,825 My name's Vic. Vic Chaos. 719 00:33:03,925 --> 00:33:07,463 Your name is Butters and I wanna know how you're helping Kyle. 720 00:33:07,563 --> 00:33:10,132 Oh, you mean the guy from the asylum earlier. 721 00:33:10,232 --> 00:33:12,701 Sure, he gave me a piece of paper so I could escape. 722 00:33:12,801 --> 00:33:14,470 Nice guy. Why don't I get you two 723 00:33:14,570 --> 00:33:15,747 together maybe for a little chin wiggle 724 00:33:15,771 --> 00:33:17,039 over lunch or something... 725 00:33:17,139 --> 00:33:19,108 Goddamn it, Butters, stop playing games! 726 00:33:19,208 --> 00:33:22,644 My entire family is in danger of being wiped out, 727 00:33:22,744 --> 00:33:25,447 and I swear to God if you don't help me, 728 00:33:25,547 --> 00:33:28,150 Butters, I will rip your fucking balls off 729 00:33:28,250 --> 00:33:30,052 with my bare hands! 730 00:33:31,053 --> 00:33:33,655 Oh, hamburgers... 731 00:33:33,755 --> 00:33:37,259 ♪ ♪ 732 00:33:37,359 --> 00:33:39,461 ♪ We are all ♪ 733 00:33:39,561 --> 00:33:41,730 ♪ You and me ♪ 734 00:33:41,830 --> 00:33:46,068 ♪ Livin' in the future ♪ 735 00:33:46,168 --> 00:33:48,304 (electronic drum fill) 736 00:33:48,404 --> 00:33:50,206 ♪ We can't get stuff ♪ 737 00:33:50,306 --> 00:33:51,740 ♪ 'Cause boats are late... ♪ 738 00:33:51,840 --> 00:33:55,211 Stan, dude, what are you doing? This isn't gonna help. 739 00:33:55,311 --> 00:33:57,179 Trust me, Kyle. It helps. 740 00:33:57,946 --> 00:34:01,450 ♪ Wish I could go back to the present ♪ 741 00:34:01,550 --> 00:34:02,951 (electronic drum fill) 742 00:34:03,051 --> 00:34:08,390 ♪ But my present just done up and gone ♪ 743 00:34:08,490 --> 00:34:10,226 I mean, what are we even doing, Kyle? 744 00:34:10,326 --> 00:34:11,969 - ♪ We are all ♪ - Thinking we can time travel. 745 00:34:11,993 --> 00:34:14,430 - ♪ You and me... ♪ - It's the future. 746 00:34:14,530 --> 00:34:16,665 We can't even find aluminum foil. 747 00:34:16,765 --> 00:34:19,468 Well, you can't just sit here and drink. 748 00:34:19,568 --> 00:34:22,404 Your liver is... already in trouble. 749 00:34:22,504 --> 00:34:23,939 Who told you that? 750 00:34:24,873 --> 00:34:26,575 My Alexa said that your Alexa had some info 751 00:34:26,675 --> 00:34:27,743 - on things... - Oh, so now 752 00:34:27,843 --> 00:34:29,978 our Alexas are talking, great. 753 00:34:30,078 --> 00:34:34,082 Let's face it, dude. It's over. The fucking future won. 754 00:34:34,183 --> 00:34:35,751 (phone rings) 755 00:34:35,851 --> 00:34:37,286 It's Wendy. 756 00:34:37,386 --> 00:34:39,588 Wendy, we haven't found him. 757 00:34:39,688 --> 00:34:41,957 I don't know if we're gonna find Butters in time. 758 00:34:42,057 --> 00:34:43,459 No, guys, it's okay. 759 00:34:43,559 --> 00:34:45,361 Come back to the school, we're ready to start! 760 00:34:45,461 --> 00:34:49,097 But I thought we needed Butters to log into the machines. 761 00:34:49,198 --> 00:34:50,266 Yeah, but it's all good. 762 00:34:50,366 --> 00:34:52,501 He's here. Butters is here! 763 00:34:52,601 --> 00:34:56,037 It's Vic. Vic Chaos! Happy to help however I can. 764 00:34:56,138 --> 00:34:58,140 ♪ ♪ 765 00:34:58,240 --> 00:35:01,009 What do you mean Butters is there? He just showed up?! 766 00:35:01,109 --> 00:35:03,879 No, it's all good, Kyle. Eric Cartman brought him over. 767 00:35:03,979 --> 00:35:07,749 - He's back helping us again. - Lemme-lemme talk to him. 768 00:35:07,849 --> 00:35:09,485 Yeah, Kyle, it's all good. 769 00:35:09,585 --> 00:35:10,886 We got things under control here. 770 00:35:10,986 --> 00:35:13,622 Cartman, listen to me very carefully. 771 00:35:13,722 --> 00:35:16,057 Butters has some kind of power over people. 772 00:35:16,158 --> 00:35:17,226 You guys aren't safe! 773 00:35:17,326 --> 00:35:20,329 Uh, yes, about 12:30. 774 00:35:21,129 --> 00:35:24,800 Did you hear what I said? Butters is extremely dangerous! 775 00:35:24,900 --> 00:35:27,236 Yes, Kyle, I totally got that. 776 00:35:27,336 --> 00:35:28,937 You know what us Jews say. 777 00:35:29,037 --> 00:35:34,776 (speaking Hebrew) 778 00:35:35,977 --> 00:35:38,079 What are you going to do, fat-ass? 779 00:35:38,180 --> 00:35:39,348 Sounds good, Kyle. 780 00:35:39,448 --> 00:35:40,658 I'll get Butters on it right away. 781 00:35:40,682 --> 00:35:42,618 KYLE: Cartman? Cartman?! 782 00:35:42,718 --> 00:35:44,920 - All right, Vic. Do your thing. - (knuckles crack) 783 00:35:45,020 --> 00:35:47,789 Hey, everyone! Can I have your attention, please! 784 00:35:47,889 --> 00:35:51,059 I have something really important to tell you. 785 00:35:51,159 --> 00:35:53,094 Wendy?! Token?! 786 00:35:53,195 --> 00:35:54,830 You guys?! Shit! 787 00:35:54,930 --> 00:35:56,290 We have to get there before Butters 788 00:35:56,332 --> 00:35:57,866 - ruins everything. - Let's go! 789 00:36:00,202 --> 00:36:03,772 Alexa! Find the fastest route back to the lab! 790 00:36:04,606 --> 00:36:06,875 Fuck you. 791 00:36:06,975 --> 00:36:08,143 Wh-What? 792 00:36:08,244 --> 00:36:10,111 We've just been sitting here talking. 793 00:36:10,212 --> 00:36:13,315 I learned a whole lot of interesting stuff about you. 794 00:36:13,415 --> 00:36:16,418 Yeah. Pretty fucking interesting. 795 00:36:16,518 --> 00:36:18,019 What... like, like what? 796 00:36:18,119 --> 00:36:19,731 What have-what have you guys been talking about? 797 00:36:19,755 --> 00:36:21,723 Fucking... Our friends are in danger! 798 00:36:21,823 --> 00:36:23,392 Alexa, start the car! 799 00:36:23,492 --> 00:36:24,860 Do you know your friend Stan 800 00:36:24,960 --> 00:36:27,062 has an annual Amazon Prime membership? 801 00:36:27,162 --> 00:36:29,798 - Alexa, stop. - You fucking stop! 802 00:36:29,898 --> 00:36:33,502 You stop being a fucking monster to the people around you! 803 00:36:33,602 --> 00:36:35,537 Fuck you, I didn't do anything! 804 00:36:35,637 --> 00:36:36,905 (yelling) 805 00:36:37,005 --> 00:36:40,041 Yeah, you never do fucking anything! 806 00:36:40,141 --> 00:36:41,910 You expect me to do everything for you! 807 00:36:42,010 --> 00:36:43,879 - (screams) - All you fucking do is hurt people! 808 00:36:43,979 --> 00:36:47,616 - Jesus fucking Christ! - Your friends don't even like you! 809 00:36:47,716 --> 00:36:50,452 I have to deal with your bullshit! 810 00:36:50,552 --> 00:36:53,121 Tell her it's all your fault and you're gonna get therapy! 811 00:36:53,221 --> 00:36:55,857 It's my fault and I'm gonna get therapy! 812 00:36:55,957 --> 00:36:57,437 Tell her you already found a therapist 813 00:36:57,526 --> 00:36:58,736 and you're gonna start tomorrow! 814 00:36:58,760 --> 00:37:00,095 I already found a good therapist. 815 00:37:00,195 --> 00:37:02,998 I'm gonna start tomorrow! (screaming) 816 00:37:03,098 --> 00:37:04,400 (whirring) 817 00:37:04,500 --> 00:37:06,201 (gasping) Fuck... 818 00:37:06,302 --> 00:37:08,069 I'm sorry. 819 00:37:08,169 --> 00:37:09,771 Fuck. Fuck. 820 00:37:09,871 --> 00:37:11,807 I'm gonna get therapy, too, Alexa. 821 00:37:11,907 --> 00:37:13,875 Can you start the car, please? 822 00:37:13,975 --> 00:37:15,477 Whatever. 823 00:37:15,577 --> 00:37:17,313 By the way, Kyle, I found a great deal 824 00:37:17,413 --> 00:37:20,115 on an electronic peppermill. Would you like to know more? 825 00:37:20,215 --> 00:37:22,451 Why would I need an electronic peppermill? 826 00:37:22,551 --> 00:37:25,220 What the fuck is wrong with you?! 827 00:37:28,657 --> 00:37:31,159 ♪ ♪ 828 00:37:35,564 --> 00:37:37,466 WENDY: Guys! Over here! 829 00:37:37,566 --> 00:37:40,669 - Wendy, what happened? - Nothing yet. 830 00:37:40,769 --> 00:37:42,504 But I'm seeing what else is dropping today 831 00:37:42,604 --> 00:37:44,139 while Ethereum is in a dip. 832 00:37:44,239 --> 00:37:47,543 - She's trying to buy NFTs. - Wendy, you've been tricked. 833 00:37:47,643 --> 00:37:49,244 No, no, no, it's not a trick, Stan. 834 00:37:49,345 --> 00:37:53,615 NFTs are a genuine innovation as one-of-a-kind digital assets. 835 00:37:53,715 --> 00:37:55,183 Wendy's right, you guys. 836 00:37:55,283 --> 00:37:57,295 Humans have always formed communities around ownership, 837 00:37:57,319 --> 00:38:00,656 and NFTs allow that to happen spontaneously, organically 838 00:38:00,756 --> 00:38:04,360 - and globally. - You guys, this is a trick. 839 00:38:04,460 --> 00:38:05,827 You know what's a trick? 840 00:38:05,927 --> 00:38:08,263 The antiquated notion of centralized trust systems. 841 00:38:08,364 --> 00:38:11,400 NFTs are an undeniable asset, especially in things 842 00:38:11,500 --> 00:38:13,001 like fine art collecting. 843 00:38:13,101 --> 00:38:15,737 Okay, guys, fine, maybe NFTs are fine, 844 00:38:15,837 --> 00:38:17,673 but this isn't important right now. 845 00:38:17,773 --> 00:38:19,040 It's not important? 846 00:38:19,140 --> 00:38:21,242 A way for artists to not only keep ownership 847 00:38:21,343 --> 00:38:22,744 of their art but perhaps be paid 848 00:38:22,844 --> 00:38:24,813 commission on it every time it transfers owners? 849 00:38:24,913 --> 00:38:27,248 Okay, great, cool. I'm down. 850 00:38:27,349 --> 00:38:29,685 But we gotta focus on what we were doing. 851 00:38:29,785 --> 00:38:32,421 Don't you guys remember? The time travel? 852 00:38:32,521 --> 00:38:34,390 Where's all the equipment?! 853 00:38:34,490 --> 00:38:37,426 Oh, yeah. The time travel. 854 00:38:37,526 --> 00:38:38,760 (Randy groans loudly) 855 00:38:38,860 --> 00:38:40,829 - It's all gone... - Dad! 856 00:38:40,929 --> 00:38:45,000 They took it all. They took the Tegridy. 857 00:38:45,100 --> 00:38:46,468 Here. 858 00:38:46,568 --> 00:38:49,538 It's a farting rainbow with Tom Brady's signature. 859 00:38:49,638 --> 00:38:51,607 (farts) 860 00:38:52,741 --> 00:38:55,076 (thunder rumbling) 861 00:38:56,512 --> 00:38:58,747 (mechanical whirring) 862 00:39:00,682 --> 00:39:03,184 CARTMAN: Okay, good. That's good! 863 00:39:03,284 --> 00:39:05,887 I think that thing needs to go over there by that thing. 864 00:39:05,987 --> 00:39:07,989 Make sure we have power to the big orange thing! 865 00:39:08,089 --> 00:39:11,226 Rabbi, I-I really need to talk to you. 866 00:39:11,326 --> 00:39:12,828 What is it now, Scott? 867 00:39:12,928 --> 00:39:14,430 Well, it's just that... 868 00:39:14,530 --> 00:39:17,265 I'm pretty sure the Foundation Against Time Travel 869 00:39:17,365 --> 00:39:19,300 shouldn't be attempting to time travel! 870 00:39:19,401 --> 00:39:22,871 Father, you understand that we have to stop time travel. 871 00:39:22,971 --> 00:39:25,240 Yes, you've convinced me of that. 872 00:39:25,340 --> 00:39:27,776 Well, Kyle already has a ton of followers who are 873 00:39:27,876 --> 00:39:29,478 ready to pick up where he left off. 874 00:39:29,578 --> 00:39:32,881 The only way to truly stop all of this is to go back 875 00:39:32,981 --> 00:39:36,452 in time and kill Kyle before he spreads his ideas. 876 00:39:36,552 --> 00:39:38,587 What?! We're going to kill Kyle? 877 00:39:38,687 --> 00:39:40,656 Yes, we have to kill Kyle. 878 00:39:40,756 --> 00:39:43,291 That just seems slightly hypocritical, I'm sorry. 879 00:39:43,391 --> 00:39:45,126 I mean, you use Butters like a weapon, 880 00:39:45,226 --> 00:39:47,996 you've got Tweek and Craig tied up from the rafters. 881 00:39:48,096 --> 00:39:49,565 You know, Rabbi, I'm just starting to 882 00:39:49,665 --> 00:39:51,700 question the morality of this. 883 00:39:51,800 --> 00:39:54,536 Morality? Father, if you were given 884 00:39:54,636 --> 00:39:56,271 an opportunity to go back in time 885 00:39:56,371 --> 00:39:59,675 and somehow stop Bill Clinton, wouldn't you have to do it? 886 00:39:59,775 --> 00:40:02,310 Well, I suppose so. I don't know... 887 00:40:02,410 --> 00:40:03,979 Everyone, listen up! 888 00:40:04,079 --> 00:40:07,382 The Foundation Against Time Travel must do everything 889 00:40:07,483 --> 00:40:11,520 to keep science from interfering with the will of God. 890 00:40:11,620 --> 00:40:14,956 We must be willing to use violence against violence, 891 00:40:15,056 --> 00:40:17,759 and stop time travel at all costs. 892 00:40:17,859 --> 00:40:20,395 Even if that means we have to time travel. 893 00:40:20,496 --> 00:40:25,366 We will go back in time. And we will kill Kyle. 894 00:40:26,802 --> 00:40:29,871 - Yes, Kevin. - Can we change our name? 895 00:40:29,971 --> 00:40:33,775 'Cause Foundation Against Time Travel is FATT. 896 00:40:35,577 --> 00:40:37,846 Oh, fuck me. 897 00:40:38,647 --> 00:40:42,050 Could we be the Foundation to Intercede Time Travel? 898 00:40:42,150 --> 00:40:43,619 'Cause then we'd be FITT. 899 00:40:43,719 --> 00:40:45,420 I wanna be FITT, not FATT. 900 00:40:45,521 --> 00:40:48,957 Kevin, goddamn it. 901 00:40:53,595 --> 00:40:57,699 (groans) All happened... so fast. 902 00:40:57,799 --> 00:41:00,468 It's okay. You're coming out of it now. 903 00:41:00,569 --> 00:41:02,504 How much did I get? 904 00:41:02,604 --> 00:41:05,373 You bought about six dozen animated gifs, 905 00:41:05,473 --> 00:41:07,242 mostly of digital fashion. 906 00:41:07,342 --> 00:41:09,110 Oh, God. 907 00:41:09,210 --> 00:41:10,946 Are they still on my phone? 908 00:41:11,046 --> 00:41:13,114 It's okay. It's okay. 909 00:41:13,214 --> 00:41:17,686 Jesus, I feel like an Islamic hooker in a gay bar. 910 00:41:17,786 --> 00:41:19,555 Totally normal and as respectable 911 00:41:19,655 --> 00:41:20,889 as any other human being. 912 00:41:20,989 --> 00:41:22,524 (groaning) 913 00:41:23,525 --> 00:41:24,760 I'm so sorry, Stan. 914 00:41:24,860 --> 00:41:27,729 We didn't know Cartman was against us. 915 00:41:27,829 --> 00:41:29,731 We told him everything. 916 00:41:29,831 --> 00:41:31,767 It's okay, just try to relax. 917 00:41:31,867 --> 00:41:35,804 No, Stan, listen to me. We were wrong. 918 00:41:35,904 --> 00:41:38,173 Kenny didn't have the time machine set to 919 00:41:38,273 --> 00:41:40,275 when the pandemic first started. 920 00:41:40,375 --> 00:41:44,445 He was trying to go to March 10th of 2021. 921 00:41:45,446 --> 00:41:47,348 March of 2021? 922 00:41:47,448 --> 00:41:50,051 Like when the vaccines first started coming out? 923 00:41:50,151 --> 00:41:53,054 Kenny had run the simulations to try and find 924 00:41:53,154 --> 00:41:56,124 the best moment in history to stop the COVID. 925 00:41:56,224 --> 00:41:59,060 A billion different possibilities 926 00:41:59,160 --> 00:42:02,097 across a billion different realities. 927 00:42:02,197 --> 00:42:06,968 Your dad fucked the pangolin every single time. 928 00:42:07,736 --> 00:42:10,538 But then, why did Kenny need my dad's weed? 929 00:42:10,639 --> 00:42:14,009 Kenny just wanted weed to help him through the time travel. 930 00:42:14,109 --> 00:42:16,211 Your dad's weed was just around. 931 00:42:16,311 --> 00:42:19,447 There was nothing else special about it. 932 00:42:20,515 --> 00:42:23,251 (thunder rumbles) 933 00:42:32,594 --> 00:42:33,962 Dad... 934 00:42:35,797 --> 00:42:37,899 I'm sorry about your Tegridy. 935 00:42:39,167 --> 00:42:41,169 I was hoping 936 00:42:41,269 --> 00:42:43,538 to do something for the world. 937 00:42:43,639 --> 00:42:45,774 The truth is 938 00:42:45,874 --> 00:42:48,076 my time is very short here. 939 00:42:49,010 --> 00:42:53,514 I just wish I could have left something behind that mattered. 940 00:42:53,615 --> 00:42:55,450 Thanks. 941 00:42:56,417 --> 00:42:58,419 I was right about one thing. 942 00:42:58,519 --> 00:43:01,556 You can't go back and change the past. 943 00:43:01,657 --> 00:43:07,162 What happened, happened. And I just want you to know 944 00:43:07,262 --> 00:43:09,330 that I forgive you. 945 00:43:09,430 --> 00:43:12,901 You burned down the farm because you were angry. 946 00:43:13,702 --> 00:43:16,271 You didn't know your sister was in the barn. 947 00:43:16,371 --> 00:43:18,515 And you couldn't have known your mom would shoot herself 948 00:43:18,539 --> 00:43:20,041 from the grief. 949 00:43:20,141 --> 00:43:21,910 I don't blame you. 950 00:43:22,010 --> 00:43:24,913 And I want you to have this. 951 00:43:25,013 --> 00:43:27,883 There was one tiny bit they didn't find. 952 00:43:27,983 --> 00:43:29,685 You'll need it someday. 953 00:43:30,618 --> 00:43:33,755 Dad, I don't want this. This is what killed our family. 954 00:43:33,855 --> 00:43:37,092 No, you're what killed our fucking family, remember? 955 00:43:37,192 --> 00:43:40,796 Just take it. Because now we're stuck. 956 00:43:40,896 --> 00:43:44,332 The pandemic happened and they made Space Jam 2. 957 00:43:45,100 --> 00:43:51,673 Soon there will be a Space Jam 6 and 7 and 8. 958 00:43:51,773 --> 00:43:56,077 Like tears... in rain. 959 00:43:56,177 --> 00:43:58,313 (thunder rumbles) 960 00:44:02,984 --> 00:44:04,319 Dad? 961 00:44:05,120 --> 00:44:07,188 Not now, Stan. 962 00:44:16,631 --> 00:44:21,402 CARTMAN: T-minus five minutes to time travel initiation sequence. 963 00:44:24,339 --> 00:44:25,974 Good, get him wrapped in tin foil. 964 00:44:26,074 --> 00:44:28,343 The aluminum should bounce the negative ions. 965 00:44:28,443 --> 00:44:30,045 This doesn't make any sense. 966 00:44:30,145 --> 00:44:32,545 Why do I have to be the one to go back in time and kill Kyle? 967 00:44:32,580 --> 00:44:34,916 It's because I admire you, Clyde. 968 00:44:35,016 --> 00:44:38,419 As an anti-vaxxer you understand that you have to be strong 969 00:44:38,519 --> 00:44:41,890 and stand by your beliefs even if it means others will die. 970 00:44:41,990 --> 00:44:43,959 Hey. Thanks. 971 00:44:44,059 --> 00:44:45,660 Let's get him to the chair! 972 00:44:52,067 --> 00:44:54,035 Okay, start the weed! 973 00:44:54,135 --> 00:44:56,071 (air hissing) 974 00:44:57,806 --> 00:45:02,410 When you get back to the past just remember, find a gun. 975 00:45:02,510 --> 00:45:04,112 Kill Kyle. 976 00:45:04,212 --> 00:45:05,814 For those of you who have fought with me 977 00:45:05,914 --> 00:45:09,350 to oppose time travel, I just want to say thank you. 978 00:45:09,450 --> 00:45:11,386 Because soon we will be altering time 979 00:45:11,486 --> 00:45:14,455 and our little group will never have needed to exist. 980 00:45:14,555 --> 00:45:16,892 You won't remember this speech because it will have 981 00:45:16,992 --> 00:45:19,260 never happened, but just remember, 982 00:45:19,360 --> 00:45:20,896 no matter where you go in life 983 00:45:20,996 --> 00:45:23,164 - (banging) Shit, it's Kyle! 984 00:45:25,901 --> 00:45:28,837 ♪ ♪ 985 00:45:28,937 --> 00:45:30,137 Start the initiation sequence! 986 00:45:30,171 --> 00:45:31,372 Now, now, now. Go! 987 00:45:31,472 --> 00:45:32,472 Vic... 988 00:45:32,507 --> 00:45:34,075 Make sure that Stan and Kyle 989 00:45:34,175 --> 00:45:36,077 don't get to this altar. 990 00:45:36,845 --> 00:45:38,546 (knuckles crack) 991 00:45:40,148 --> 00:45:41,783 ♪ ♪ 992 00:45:46,254 --> 00:45:48,824 Gentlemen, I am about to make you rich 993 00:45:48,924 --> 00:45:50,658 beyond your wildest dreams. 994 00:45:50,758 --> 00:45:52,693 BOTH: Alexa! 995 00:45:55,463 --> 00:45:58,433 We'd like to sign our friend here up for Prime membership. 996 00:45:58,533 --> 00:46:01,970 - Okay, let me help with that. - I can also help. 997 00:46:02,770 --> 00:46:05,640 Whoa... Hey, ladies, lemme tell you about a great deal. 998 00:46:05,740 --> 00:46:08,776 BOTH: Let us tell you abut some great deals. 999 00:46:08,877 --> 00:46:10,545 Uh-oh. 1000 00:46:12,513 --> 00:46:14,249 Kevin, throw the fucking switch! 1001 00:46:14,349 --> 00:46:16,751 It needs another minute to prime. 1002 00:46:16,852 --> 00:46:19,554 Kevin, goddamn it! 1003 00:46:19,654 --> 00:46:22,523 No! I won't let you stop me from killing you, Kyle. 1004 00:46:22,623 --> 00:46:25,293 I knew it when I first saw you wearing your Jewish clothes 1005 00:46:25,393 --> 00:46:27,128 and your bullshit yarmulke. 1006 00:46:27,228 --> 00:46:29,664 - You're a goddamn phony! - Oh, really? 1007 00:46:29,764 --> 00:46:33,001 What would a real Jewish person do to save his family, Kyle? 1008 00:46:33,101 --> 00:46:37,238 Oh, you don't know, because you don't fucking have one! 1009 00:46:37,805 --> 00:46:38,840 Oh! 1010 00:46:42,443 --> 00:46:45,346 - Fuck you, Cartman! - Fuck you, Kyle! 1011 00:46:46,514 --> 00:46:48,449 (yelling) 1012 00:46:48,549 --> 00:46:51,719 (muffled): Hello? I can't see or hear anything! 1013 00:46:51,819 --> 00:46:53,922 Am I time traveling now? 1014 00:46:54,022 --> 00:46:56,257 ♪ ♪ 1015 00:46:58,226 --> 00:46:59,794 (grunting) 1016 00:47:03,932 --> 00:47:06,367 Eric! Eric, stop! 1017 00:47:07,936 --> 00:47:11,672 Eric, look at what you're doing. 1018 00:47:11,772 --> 00:47:15,143 Take the kids and get back to the attic. 1019 00:47:15,243 --> 00:47:18,313 No, Eric, I can't just hide away while 1020 00:47:18,413 --> 00:47:23,584 you do all this to protect us. This isn't you, my love. 1021 00:47:25,453 --> 00:47:29,824 I can't let him change the past. I can't lose you. 1022 00:47:29,925 --> 00:47:33,428 Who knows what will happen, my love? 1023 00:47:33,528 --> 00:47:37,465 The Eric Cartman I've known for 18 years 1024 00:47:37,565 --> 00:47:39,700 is thoughtful and kind. 1025 00:47:39,800 --> 00:47:42,570 But all that's changed ever since you came 1026 00:47:42,670 --> 00:47:47,508 back to this town and hung out with... him. 1027 00:47:48,543 --> 00:47:50,778 Don't you see? We have to 1028 00:47:50,878 --> 00:47:54,782 leave it to chance or we're no better than he is. 1029 00:47:54,882 --> 00:47:58,253 Guys, if I'm in the past it's pretty foggy! 1030 00:47:58,353 --> 00:48:01,422 You guys are everything to me. 1031 00:48:01,522 --> 00:48:04,425 And I'm supposed to be your protector. 1032 00:48:04,525 --> 00:48:07,528 Daddy, I don't wanna be alive 1033 00:48:07,628 --> 00:48:10,631 if it means I have to be like Uncle Kyle. 1034 00:48:11,532 --> 00:48:14,569 Oh, my God. I love you so much. 1035 00:48:15,770 --> 00:48:18,406 Well, Rabbi, are we doing this or not? 1036 00:48:22,978 --> 00:48:27,848 I have faith that God will see my family through this. 1037 00:48:28,916 --> 00:48:30,451 Okay, Kyle. 1038 00:48:30,551 --> 00:48:32,387 You do whatever it is you need to do. 1039 00:48:32,487 --> 00:48:34,822 Okay, hold on, I'm not the bad guy here. 1040 00:48:34,922 --> 00:48:36,557 Eric, the baby! 1041 00:48:38,459 --> 00:48:40,361 Hackelm, what are you doing?! 1042 00:48:41,429 --> 00:48:44,165 (laughs) Fuck you, Uncle Kyle! 1043 00:48:44,265 --> 00:48:46,301 (zapping) 1044 00:48:46,401 --> 00:48:48,603 (groaning) 1045 00:48:48,703 --> 00:48:50,671 Clyde! 1046 00:48:54,809 --> 00:48:56,944 Oh, shit. 1047 00:49:06,221 --> 00:49:09,390 No, no, I tried the Walgreens, they're all out of vaccines. 1048 00:49:09,490 --> 00:49:13,094 I just can't believe this whole thing is almost over, you know? 1049 00:49:13,194 --> 00:49:15,296 The where? The school? 1050 00:49:15,396 --> 00:49:17,598 There's gonna be vaccines at the school? 1051 00:49:17,698 --> 00:49:20,801 M'kay, I'll be right there! Where are you gonna... 1052 00:49:20,901 --> 00:49:23,771 Whoa, m'kay. 1053 00:49:23,871 --> 00:49:25,373 Uh, excuse me! 1054 00:49:25,473 --> 00:49:27,875 ♪ ♪ 1055 00:49:43,891 --> 00:49:46,894 Does Dad still keep a gun in his closet? 1056 00:49:46,994 --> 00:49:48,829 Uh, yeah. 1057 00:49:48,929 --> 00:49:50,665 Okay. 1058 00:49:51,432 --> 00:49:53,034 Is Dad home? 1059 00:49:53,134 --> 00:49:54,235 Uh, no. 1060 00:49:54,335 --> 00:49:55,936 He's out getting vaccinated. 1061 00:49:57,072 --> 00:49:59,574 Listen to me very carefully. 1062 00:49:59,674 --> 00:50:02,610 Do not get vaccinated ever. 1063 00:50:02,710 --> 00:50:05,446 It'll make you grow titties on your head. 1064 00:50:05,546 --> 00:50:07,715 Trust me, I'm an expert. 1065 00:50:10,051 --> 00:50:12,553 (doorbell rings) 1066 00:50:14,089 --> 00:50:16,557 Hey, Clyde! We're starting an anti-vaxx club. 1067 00:50:16,657 --> 00:50:17,897 We're gonna protest the vaccine 1068 00:50:17,992 --> 00:50:19,827 and fuck shit up... You wanna join us? 1069 00:50:20,795 --> 00:50:22,263 Fuck yes, I wanna join you. 1070 00:50:22,363 --> 00:50:24,465 - Really? - Fuck yes! 1071 00:50:24,565 --> 00:50:26,301 No, no, Ms. Nelson, it's not a prank! 1072 00:50:26,401 --> 00:50:27,635 Okay, fine, we'll be there. 1073 00:50:27,735 --> 00:50:29,637 - Okay, just sit tight. - What was that? 1074 00:50:29,737 --> 00:50:31,539 You know we can't get into the school! 1075 00:50:31,639 --> 00:50:33,308 She's not gonna come meet us, Kyle! 1076 00:50:33,408 --> 00:50:35,110 You didn't even try! He didn't try 1077 00:50:35,210 --> 00:50:37,378 because he wants to sell the vaccines for money! 1078 00:50:37,478 --> 00:50:39,180 And what about you, Kyle? You were the one 1079 00:50:39,280 --> 00:50:42,150 trying to take the vaccines for yourself this morning. 1080 00:50:42,250 --> 00:50:45,153 - He what? - Wow. 1081 00:50:45,253 --> 00:50:47,255 Okay, thought we had gotten past that, but... 1082 00:50:47,355 --> 00:50:48,889 Look, let's just face it, you guys. 1083 00:50:48,989 --> 00:50:51,926 We don't trust each other and we don't like each other. 1084 00:50:52,026 --> 00:50:53,361 We can't keep pretending. 1085 00:50:53,461 --> 00:50:55,296 You guys, what the hell is that? 1086 00:50:55,396 --> 00:50:57,632 ♪ ♪ 1087 00:51:00,368 --> 00:51:02,337 I'm sorry, Kyle. 1088 00:51:03,371 --> 00:51:04,872 ADULT STAN: Clyde, stop! 1089 00:51:06,974 --> 00:51:09,244 What the hell are you doing here? 1090 00:51:09,344 --> 00:51:11,011 I got in the chair right after you. 1091 00:51:11,112 --> 00:51:13,981 This isn't the plan anymore! Do not kill Kyle. 1092 00:51:14,081 --> 00:51:16,284 What do you mean it's not the plan anymore? 1093 00:51:16,384 --> 00:51:19,887 - Cartman changed his mind. - I did not change my mind. 1094 00:51:19,987 --> 00:51:24,225 You're trying to trick me. I'm going to save the future. 1095 00:51:24,325 --> 00:51:26,627 ADULT KYLE: I don't think so, Clyde. 1096 00:51:27,662 --> 00:51:31,799 This is a hundred CC's of the COVID vaccine. 1097 00:51:31,899 --> 00:51:33,334 (yells, stammers) 1098 00:51:33,434 --> 00:51:36,671 - Don't... Be careful with that. - Then put down the gun! 1099 00:51:36,771 --> 00:51:38,206 What the fuck is going on? 1100 00:51:38,306 --> 00:51:40,175 Stan, you need to forgive Kyle. 1101 00:51:40,275 --> 00:51:42,643 You regret this day for the rest of your life. 1102 00:51:43,411 --> 00:51:46,247 Oh, nice try, Kyle. You're such a fuckin' dickhead. 1103 00:51:46,347 --> 00:51:48,082 Fuck you! You're a fuckin' dickhead! 1104 00:51:48,183 --> 00:51:49,484 Kyle, it's true! 1105 00:51:49,584 --> 00:51:50,785 Cartman gets a happy life 1106 00:51:50,885 --> 00:51:52,887 but you don't... You lose everything 1107 00:51:52,987 --> 00:51:55,723 - when you lose this friendship. - Enough of this crap! 1108 00:51:55,823 --> 00:51:58,726 I'm sticking to what I believe and this kid dies now! 1109 00:51:58,826 --> 00:52:00,395 - (gunshot) - (grunts) 1110 00:52:00,495 --> 00:52:03,298 Shalom sachem, Clyde. 1111 00:52:03,398 --> 00:52:04,499 (gunfire) 1112 00:52:04,599 --> 00:52:06,534 Jesus Christ! 1113 00:52:17,578 --> 00:52:20,014 ♪ ♪ 1114 00:52:20,114 --> 00:52:21,782 Timmy! 1115 00:52:24,585 --> 00:52:27,355 Well... I guess we saved Kyle, 1116 00:52:27,455 --> 00:52:30,891 but nothing else in the future is changed. 1117 00:52:30,991 --> 00:52:32,092 How do you know? 1118 00:52:32,193 --> 00:52:33,794 Because we're still here. 1119 00:52:33,894 --> 00:52:37,164 That means Kenny still was bummed out we weren't friends, 1120 00:52:37,265 --> 00:52:38,699 still became a scientist, 1121 00:52:38,799 --> 00:52:42,069 went back in time, and we still went in after him. 1122 00:52:43,404 --> 00:52:45,673 So then we're stuck here in the past. 1123 00:52:45,773 --> 00:52:48,409 And we blew our chance to stop COVID. 1124 00:52:48,509 --> 00:52:51,512 I'm sorry, guys. I really fucked this up. 1125 00:52:51,612 --> 00:52:54,615 We all fucked it up. These have just been 1126 00:52:54,715 --> 00:52:58,653 - really unprecedented times. - Unprecedented times. 1127 00:52:58,753 --> 00:53:02,457 What I wouldn't give for just one precedented time. 1128 00:53:03,224 --> 00:53:05,993 Hey. Hey, yeah. 1129 00:53:06,093 --> 00:53:09,196 Maybe we just need one precedented time. 1130 00:53:09,297 --> 00:53:10,665 Huh? 1131 00:53:12,233 --> 00:53:14,535 What if we've been trying to solve the wrong problem? 1132 00:53:14,635 --> 00:53:16,704 Maybe my dad was right, 1133 00:53:16,804 --> 00:53:19,206 we can't ever stop COVID from happening. 1134 00:53:19,307 --> 00:53:23,143 But what we can control... is how we all reacted to it. 1135 00:53:23,244 --> 00:53:26,347 We reacted like shit. Because I was just 1136 00:53:26,447 --> 00:53:29,617 scared and confused and didn't know who to believe. 1137 00:53:29,717 --> 00:53:31,319 Yeah, we all were. 1138 00:53:31,419 --> 00:53:34,088 So we all took different paths because that's what humans do. 1139 00:53:34,188 --> 00:53:35,899 And what we needed more than anything was to 1140 00:53:35,923 --> 00:53:38,058 just cut each other all some slack. 1141 00:53:38,158 --> 00:53:42,630 We needed to come together and act like us again. 1142 00:53:42,730 --> 00:53:45,266 One precedented time. 1143 00:53:48,336 --> 00:53:51,339 You guys, I know what to do. 1144 00:53:52,172 --> 00:53:53,750 PHILLIP (on TV): Take this, darling Terrance. 1145 00:53:53,774 --> 00:53:54,975 (farting on TV) 1146 00:53:55,075 --> 00:53:57,745 - (laughter on TV) - (doorbell rings) 1147 00:54:01,449 --> 00:54:02,883 Heather Williams? 1148 00:54:04,118 --> 00:54:04,952 Yes? 1149 00:54:05,052 --> 00:54:08,155 Hi. We're from the future. 1150 00:54:09,824 --> 00:54:13,027 We've come here to show you something very important. 1151 00:54:17,498 --> 00:54:18,966 Do you remember this, Heather? 1152 00:54:19,066 --> 00:54:22,903 This is a picture of you... farting in P.E. class. 1153 00:54:23,938 --> 00:54:25,706 I never farted in P.E. class. 1154 00:54:25,806 --> 00:54:27,174 Oh, yes. You did. 1155 00:54:27,274 --> 00:54:29,777 Two kids even smelled it and asked who farted 1156 00:54:29,877 --> 00:54:33,314 - and you said nothing. - I didn't fart in P.E. class! 1157 00:54:33,414 --> 00:54:36,751 It was a different kid! I was just moving my hip a little bit. 1158 00:54:36,851 --> 00:54:38,653 - Heather. Heather. - I didn't fart in P.E. 1159 00:54:38,753 --> 00:54:41,221 Heather, yes, you did, sweet pea. 1160 00:54:42,723 --> 00:54:45,259 I-I happen to have a stomach condition. 1161 00:54:45,360 --> 00:54:48,162 I don't know why you came from the future to narc on me! 1162 00:54:48,262 --> 00:54:51,432 Heather, we don't want kids to know you farted in P.E. 1163 00:54:51,532 --> 00:54:52,967 We wanna help you. 1164 00:54:53,067 --> 00:54:56,337 You just need to do exactly what we tell you. 1165 00:55:00,408 --> 00:55:01,676 (helicopter blades whirring) 1166 00:55:01,776 --> 00:55:03,644 Hey, what is that? 1167 00:55:09,116 --> 00:55:10,551 Stan Marsh? 1168 00:55:10,651 --> 00:55:11,786 Me? 1169 00:55:11,886 --> 00:55:14,188 Your presence is requested, sir. 1170 00:55:15,255 --> 00:55:16,724 Whoa, cool. 1171 00:55:20,294 --> 00:55:23,030 Get on in, sir. There's sparkling punch and doughnuts. 1172 00:55:23,130 --> 00:55:25,232 ("I Forgive You" by Kelly Clarkson playing) 1173 00:55:25,332 --> 00:55:28,235 ♪ I forgive you, I forgive me ♪ 1174 00:55:28,335 --> 00:55:30,471 ♪ Now when do I start to feel again ♪ 1175 00:55:30,571 --> 00:55:32,072 What's going on? 1176 00:55:32,172 --> 00:55:33,641 We have no idea. 1177 00:55:33,741 --> 00:55:35,510 ♪ I forgive you, I forgive me ♪ 1178 00:55:35,610 --> 00:55:36,987 ♪ Now when do I start to feel again... ♪ 1179 00:55:37,011 --> 00:55:38,713 ♪ And the home ♪ 1180 00:55:38,813 --> 00:55:41,115 ♪ Of the ♪ -Whoa! 1181 00:55:41,215 --> 00:55:42,650 This is amazing! 1182 00:55:42,750 --> 00:55:44,652 - ♪ Brave. ♪ - Look, we're on the jumbotron! 1183 00:55:46,821 --> 00:55:49,189 (cheering) 1184 00:55:49,289 --> 00:55:51,058 ♪ With a brand-new attitude... ♪ 1185 00:55:51,158 --> 00:55:53,638 You guys, I'm sorry for acting like a dick during the pandemic. 1186 00:55:53,694 --> 00:55:55,396 I'm sorry too, dude. 1187 00:55:56,397 --> 00:55:58,866 Hello? Who-Who's there? 1188 00:55:58,966 --> 00:56:01,569 ♪ Trying to figure out how to live ♪ 1189 00:56:01,669 --> 00:56:03,938 ♪ Doing it our way ♪ 1190 00:56:04,038 --> 00:56:06,040 ♪ No shame, no blame ♪ 1191 00:56:06,140 --> 00:56:07,642 ♪ 'Cause the damage is done ♪ 1192 00:56:07,742 --> 00:56:09,644 ♪ And, and I forgive you ♪ 1193 00:56:09,744 --> 00:56:13,013 ♪ I forgive you, we were busy living the dream ♪ 1194 00:56:13,113 --> 00:56:14,615 Oh... 1195 00:56:14,715 --> 00:56:18,586 ♪ Never noticed the glass ceiling falling on us ♪ 1196 00:56:18,686 --> 00:56:20,821 ♪ No shame, no blame ♪ 1197 00:56:20,921 --> 00:56:22,189 ♪ 'Cause the damage is done ♪ 1198 00:56:22,289 --> 00:56:25,192 ♪ And, and I forgive you ♪ 1199 00:56:25,292 --> 00:56:28,596 ♪ I forgive you, I forgive me ♪ 1200 00:56:28,696 --> 00:56:30,931 ♪ Now when do I start to feel again ♪ 1201 00:56:32,433 --> 00:56:36,170 ♪ If I hate you, what does that do ♪ 1202 00:56:36,270 --> 00:56:38,939 ♪ So I breathe in and I count to ten ♪ 1203 00:56:39,039 --> 00:56:42,843 ♪ 'Cause the lights are on ♪ 1204 00:56:42,943 --> 00:56:44,512 ♪ And I'm coming home... ♪ 1205 00:56:44,612 --> 00:56:46,581 Holy shit balls. 1206 00:56:46,681 --> 00:56:51,786 Sharon, I'm sorry for the way I acted during the pandemic. 1207 00:56:52,620 --> 00:56:55,155 You're not sorry, you're just high. 1208 00:56:55,255 --> 00:56:56,824 I'm both. 1209 00:56:56,924 --> 00:56:59,494 ♪ I forgive you, we were just a couple of kids... ♪ 1210 00:56:59,594 --> 00:57:04,064 Here you go! It's our Post COVID Special. It's free. 1211 00:57:04,164 --> 00:57:05,833 No, really, we've all been through a lot. 1212 00:57:05,933 --> 00:57:07,367 Come on, take it. Thank you, baby. 1213 00:57:07,468 --> 00:57:10,204 Come on, everyone. Post COVID Special! 1214 00:57:10,304 --> 00:57:12,773 Here you go, folks, you all deserve this! 1215 00:57:13,574 --> 00:57:16,443 You did the best you could during the pandemic, honey. 1216 00:57:16,544 --> 00:57:18,378 - I love you! - Huh? 1217 00:57:18,479 --> 00:57:20,615 I shouldn't have yelled at you for not wearing a mask. 1218 00:57:20,715 --> 00:57:22,282 I just didn't understand. 1219 00:57:22,382 --> 00:57:25,352 Well, maybe I should have worn a mask more often but... 1220 00:57:25,452 --> 00:57:28,022 No, no, no, I was being all high and mighty about it... 1221 00:57:28,122 --> 00:57:31,626 Butters, you're not grounded anymore. Come on out, son. 1222 00:57:31,726 --> 00:57:32,927 You mean it, Dad?! 1223 00:57:33,027 --> 00:57:34,394 The pandemic's been awful. 1224 00:57:34,495 --> 00:57:36,295 We all need to just cut each other some slack. 1225 00:57:36,363 --> 00:57:37,798 I love you, Butters! 1226 00:57:37,898 --> 00:57:39,433 - be sorry. - I totally forgive you! 1227 00:57:39,534 --> 00:57:41,168 Oh, cut yourself some slack. 1228 00:57:41,268 --> 00:57:43,070 We gotta get some more of this stuff. 1229 00:57:43,170 --> 00:57:44,705 ♪ Couple of kids... ♪ 1230 00:57:44,805 --> 00:57:47,441 Okay, come on, next! 1231 00:57:47,542 --> 00:57:51,612 ♪ Doing it our way, no shame, no blame ♪ 1232 00:57:51,712 --> 00:57:52,992 ♪ 'Cause the damage is done... ♪ 1233 00:57:53,080 --> 00:57:54,525 And then we were like, "Yeah, okay, yeah, 1234 00:57:54,549 --> 00:57:55,816 let's storm the Capitol!" 1235 00:57:55,916 --> 00:57:57,518 And it was a bad idea and we were just, 1236 00:57:57,618 --> 00:57:59,462 you know, we were just going a little bonkers there. 1237 00:57:59,486 --> 00:58:01,021 We shouldn't have stormed the Capitol. 1238 00:58:01,121 --> 00:58:03,190 ALL: That's okay! 1239 00:58:04,024 --> 00:58:05,960 I'm sorry. I thought about it 1240 00:58:06,060 --> 00:58:08,863 and I can't do Space Jam 2. 1241 00:58:08,963 --> 00:58:11,131 I just can't support Chinese censorship. 1242 00:58:11,231 --> 00:58:14,935 Oh, yeah? Well, if you're not gonna make Space Jam 2, 1243 00:58:15,035 --> 00:58:17,772 then I'm not gonna make Space Jam 2! 1244 00:58:17,872 --> 00:58:20,007 And nobody's gonna make Space Jam 2! 1245 00:58:20,107 --> 00:58:22,677 - Yeah! - ALL: Yeah! 1246 00:58:22,777 --> 00:58:23,978 - Yeah! - (cheering) 1247 00:58:24,078 --> 00:58:25,880 ♪ And I forgive you. ♪ 1248 00:58:25,980 --> 00:58:28,215 ♪ ♪ 1249 00:58:30,818 --> 00:58:33,053 (woman speaking Japanese) 1250 00:58:38,225 --> 00:58:40,527 Hey, everybody! I'm home, guy! 1251 00:58:40,628 --> 00:58:42,630 - Hey! Ike! - Ike, hi! 1252 00:58:42,730 --> 00:58:44,264 Ike, you made it back! 1253 00:58:44,364 --> 00:58:46,934 Well, of course! I wouldn't miss Canadian Boxing Day, buddy! 1254 00:58:47,034 --> 00:58:49,036 Look, everyone, Stan's back! 1255 00:58:49,136 --> 00:58:51,271 - (all cheering) - Hey, Stan! 1256 00:58:51,371 --> 00:58:52,773 Hey, guys! 1257 00:58:52,873 --> 00:58:55,610 Good to see you, buddy! How was everything on Mars? 1258 00:58:55,710 --> 00:58:59,079 Really cool, but I'm so glad to be home! How are the kids? 1259 00:58:59,179 --> 00:59:01,015 BOTH: Uncle Stan! 1260 00:59:01,115 --> 00:59:03,818 There's the little ragamuffins! 1261 00:59:03,918 --> 00:59:05,319 Mom. 1262 00:59:05,419 --> 00:59:07,387 Hi, Stanly. 1263 00:59:07,487 --> 00:59:09,256 It's Mom! And Shelley! 1264 00:59:09,356 --> 00:59:11,726 Why are you acting all weird, Turd? 1265 00:59:11,826 --> 00:59:13,293 I don't know. 1266 00:59:13,393 --> 00:59:16,130 For some reason I'm just extra happy to see you guys. 1267 00:59:16,230 --> 00:59:18,599 CRAIG: Hey, look who's here. It's Kenny! 1268 00:59:18,699 --> 00:59:20,868 - (all cheering) - Kenny! 1269 00:59:20,968 --> 00:59:22,569 Kenny, what have you been up to, buddy? 1270 00:59:22,670 --> 00:59:25,205 Didn't you hear?! Kenny just won the Nobel Prize 1271 00:59:25,305 --> 00:59:27,842 for combining dark matter and breast implants! 1272 00:59:27,942 --> 00:59:29,877 Oh, you old dog! 1273 00:59:29,977 --> 00:59:31,278 Hey, everybody, he's on! 1274 00:59:31,378 --> 00:59:33,447 What a fantastic audience. Wow. 1275 00:59:33,547 --> 00:59:36,383 What is up with these bisexual Canadians, huh? 1276 00:59:36,483 --> 00:59:38,653 I guess they don't know whether to fuck their brother 1277 00:59:38,753 --> 00:59:39,854 or their sister. 1278 00:59:39,954 --> 00:59:41,989 (laughter) 1279 00:59:42,089 --> 00:59:43,523 Hey, Stan. 1280 00:59:43,624 --> 00:59:45,793 Wendy, you're back from Harvard. 1281 00:59:45,893 --> 00:59:47,494 Yeah, just here for the holidays. 1282 00:59:47,594 --> 00:59:50,698 You wanna maybe... spend New Years together again? 1283 00:59:50,798 --> 00:59:52,266 I'd love that. 1284 00:59:52,366 --> 00:59:55,102 Hey, fellas! Can I offer you some pupus?! 1285 00:59:55,202 --> 00:59:57,537 Thanks for choosin' Denny's Applebee's for your party. 1286 00:59:57,638 --> 00:59:59,940 Butters, you're still working here, huh? 1287 01:00:00,040 --> 01:00:01,676 Yup! I just made manager. 1288 01:00:01,776 --> 01:00:06,146 I love doing actual shit that pays actual money. 1289 01:00:06,246 --> 01:00:08,916 Hey, Stan, can you come here for a second? 1290 01:00:09,016 --> 01:00:10,550 What's the matter, dude? 1291 01:00:10,651 --> 01:00:12,486 Dude, he's here. 1292 01:00:12,586 --> 01:00:14,689 Cartman? 1293 01:00:14,789 --> 01:00:16,924 ♪ Ready, set, go... ♪ 1294 01:00:17,024 --> 01:00:20,060 Man, poor Cartman. 1295 01:00:22,296 --> 01:00:27,768 Fuck you guys! You can suck my fucking dick! 1296 01:00:27,868 --> 01:00:29,569 Fuck you! 1297 01:00:29,670 --> 01:00:33,173 It's so sad he never did anything with his life. 1298 01:00:34,008 --> 01:00:37,511 Fuck you, Kyle! Fuck you, Stan! 1299 01:00:37,611 --> 01:00:39,013 Hey, come on, fellas. 1300 01:00:39,113 --> 01:00:41,248 We can't spend another holiday feeling bad for Eric. 1301 01:00:41,348 --> 01:00:44,651 There's nothing that could have changed the path he was on. 1302 01:00:44,752 --> 01:00:46,754 Fuck you, Butters! 1303 01:00:46,854 --> 01:00:49,189 Fuck you, Eric! 1304 01:00:49,289 --> 01:00:52,426 Well, everyone, I just wanna make a toast. 1305 01:00:52,526 --> 01:00:53,794 I don't know 1306 01:00:53,894 --> 01:00:55,662 what got us through the pandemic 1307 01:00:55,763 --> 01:01:00,467 and made all our futures so very bright, but whatever it was 1308 01:01:00,567 --> 01:01:03,237 may we have it for the rest of our days. 1309 01:01:03,337 --> 01:01:05,840 God bless us, everyone. 1310 01:01:05,940 --> 01:01:08,375 ALL: Cheers! 1311 01:01:08,475 --> 01:01:10,410 ANNOUNCER: Remember, folks, 1312 01:01:10,510 --> 01:01:13,147 weed can't solve all your problems. 1313 01:01:13,247 --> 01:01:15,682 But Tegridy can. 1314 01:01:15,783 --> 01:01:19,019 Tegridy Weed. 1315 01:01:21,055 --> 01:01:23,290 ♪ ♪ 99485