All language subtitles for Crossing Swords s02e06 Tent Pitching.eng

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,376 --> 00:00:04,376 ♪ 2 00:00:04,379 --> 00:00:06,379 [chirping] 3 00:00:07,216 --> 00:00:08,926 Ooh! That was a good one! 4 00:00:08,926 --> 00:00:10,966 What's going on? We did it, Patrick! 5 00:00:10,969 --> 00:00:13,309 We found the very last gem! 6 00:00:13,305 --> 00:00:15,885 And since you were the one that found the first gem, 7 00:00:15,891 --> 00:00:17,271 I wanted you to be here. 8 00:00:17,267 --> 00:00:19,267 What, you took all the gems?! 9 00:00:19,269 --> 00:00:21,519 That was never the deal! The caves are cursed! 10 00:00:21,522 --> 00:00:24,532 All the more reason to blow them from here to kingdom come! 11 00:00:24,525 --> 00:00:26,395 Light that bitch up! 12 00:00:30,322 --> 00:00:32,572 It seems like a waste of resources. 13 00:00:32,574 --> 00:00:35,334 Oh, you ain't seen nothing yet. Check this shit out! 14 00:00:35,327 --> 00:00:38,367 ♪ 15 00:00:40,958 --> 00:00:41,788 [mooing] 16 00:00:42,876 --> 00:00:44,286 [dribbling] 17 00:00:45,462 --> 00:00:46,712 [clanging] 18 00:00:48,048 --> 00:00:50,928 That's going to be hard to sweep under the rug. 19 00:00:50,926 --> 00:00:53,926 ♪ medieval theme playing ♪ 20 00:01:02,104 --> 00:01:04,904 [musical chiming] 21 00:01:04,898 --> 00:01:06,438 [clicking] 22 00:01:06,441 --> 00:01:08,781 MERRIMAN CLOCK [winding down]: Today's the day... 23 00:01:08,777 --> 00:01:10,607 ♪ energetic music ♪ 24 00:01:10,612 --> 00:01:12,452 [elephant trumpeting] Ah! 25 00:01:12,447 --> 00:01:14,317 Today's the day, Tuls! 26 00:01:14,324 --> 00:01:16,834 Oh, here we go. 27 00:01:21,665 --> 00:01:23,455 ♪ music continues ♪ 28 00:01:24,084 --> 00:01:25,294 [excited squeal] 29 00:01:25,878 --> 00:01:27,208 You there! What day is it? 30 00:01:27,588 --> 00:01:29,548 Why, it's Circus Day, sir. 31 00:01:29,548 --> 00:01:31,218 I know it's Circus Day. 32 00:01:31,216 --> 00:01:34,216 I just wanted to hear you fuckin' say it! 33 00:01:34,219 --> 00:01:35,219 [grumbles] 34 00:01:35,220 --> 00:01:36,890 ♪ circus music ♪ 35 00:01:36,889 --> 00:01:40,309 ♪ Circus, circus, it's the best of my life ♪ 36 00:01:40,309 --> 00:01:41,729 ♪ Circus, circus! ♪ 37 00:01:41,727 --> 00:01:43,687 ♪ Twice as sexy as my wife ♪ 38 00:01:43,687 --> 00:01:47,187 ♪ Circus, circus, Daddy said it'd rot my brain ♪ 39 00:01:47,191 --> 00:01:50,781 ♪ Circus, circus, joke's on him, he went insane ♪ 40 00:01:50,777 --> 00:01:54,197 ♪ Daddy's gone and I'm in charge! My circus dreams are living large ♪ 41 00:01:54,198 --> 00:01:57,488 ♪ Oh so much that I was missing, like animal abuse and otherism ♪ 42 00:01:57,492 --> 00:01:59,332 ♪ Circus! ♪ 43 00:01:59,328 --> 00:02:02,708 ♪ Circus, circus, it's that time of year at last ♪ 44 00:02:02,706 --> 00:02:05,496 ♪ Circus, circus! My chance to kick back ♪ 45 00:02:05,501 --> 00:02:07,711 ♪ And relax! ♪ 46 00:02:07,711 --> 00:02:09,591 ♪ 47 00:02:09,588 --> 00:02:11,168 ♪ Harness ♪ 48 00:02:11,173 --> 00:02:12,513 ♪ All this ♪ 49 00:02:12,508 --> 00:02:14,338 ♪ Madness ♪ 50 00:02:14,343 --> 00:02:15,723 ♪ Purpose ♪ 51 00:02:15,719 --> 00:02:17,049 ♪ Circus ♪ 52 00:02:17,054 --> 00:02:20,774 ♪ Circus, circus, circus! ♪ 53 00:02:20,766 --> 00:02:23,386 [fireworks crackling] [heavy breathing] 54 00:02:23,393 --> 00:02:25,523 Y'all are dancin' in elephant shit. 55 00:02:25,521 --> 00:02:27,771 [angry grumbling] 56 00:02:27,773 --> 00:02:30,193 Alright, alright! Everyone, back to one. 57 00:02:30,192 --> 00:02:32,742 [annoyed grumbling] 58 00:02:33,195 --> 00:02:35,565 Due to unforeseen stupidity, 59 00:02:35,572 --> 00:02:37,202 there's an opening for a new knight. 60 00:02:37,199 --> 00:02:38,949 [excited chatter] 61 00:02:38,951 --> 00:02:41,371 One of you squires could be that knight. 62 00:02:41,370 --> 00:02:44,500 [gasps] This is my time Is it me, is it my time? 63 00:02:45,415 --> 00:02:47,625 Nope. Wait, you're right. It's yours. 64 00:02:47,626 --> 00:02:49,286 Shotgun next! 65 00:02:49,294 --> 00:02:51,844 Impress the king, and you could earn that knighthood. 66 00:02:51,839 --> 00:02:55,339 As you know, today is the king's favorite day, Circus Day, 67 00:02:55,342 --> 00:02:57,182 and each of you will be given an opportunity 68 00:02:57,177 --> 00:02:59,507 to prove yourselves at your posts. 69 00:02:59,513 --> 00:03:02,393 Here is the list of assignments. [excited chatter] 70 00:03:03,100 --> 00:03:05,190 I got Royal Corn Dog Taster! 71 00:03:05,185 --> 00:03:06,935 I get to hold the king's balloon! 72 00:03:06,937 --> 00:03:09,517 What's a "funnel cake chuck bucket"? 73 00:03:09,523 --> 00:03:12,113 I don't think I like it. I'm a tour guide? 74 00:03:12,109 --> 00:03:15,279 I've no sense of direction. I'm lost right now! 75 00:03:15,863 --> 00:03:18,163 Seat warmer? This hot ass? 76 00:03:18,156 --> 00:03:19,526 I'll burn through the thing! 77 00:03:19,908 --> 00:03:22,618 Cotton candy bouncer? What's a cotton candy? 78 00:03:22,619 --> 00:03:24,079 Oh, I heard it's amazing. 79 00:03:24,079 --> 00:03:26,579 It's sand candy that becomes air, something like that. 80 00:03:26,582 --> 00:03:28,832 The king is desperate to try it. 81 00:03:28,834 --> 00:03:31,304 You'll be guarding the line, so he has the very first taste 82 00:03:31,295 --> 00:03:32,875 in the entire kingdom! 83 00:03:32,880 --> 00:03:36,680 I heard, once you taste it, it takes all your pain away. 84 00:03:36,675 --> 00:03:37,965 ♪ melancholy music ♪ 85 00:03:37,968 --> 00:03:40,718 Apparently, everyone carries a lowgrade amount of pain at all times, 86 00:03:40,721 --> 00:03:43,181 and you just get used to it. But cotton candy 87 00:03:43,182 --> 00:03:45,562 takes it all away. But then, 88 00:03:45,559 --> 00:03:47,059 when you're out of cotton candy, 89 00:03:47,060 --> 00:03:49,150 pain comes back worse than ever, 90 00:03:49,146 --> 00:03:51,356 until you can score more cotton candy. 91 00:03:51,356 --> 00:03:53,356 ♪ 92 00:03:55,777 --> 00:03:57,947 Well, I gotta go hit a meeting. [laughs] Later! 93 00:03:59,573 --> 00:04:02,583 ♪ circus music ♪ 94 00:04:02,576 --> 00:04:04,536 [crowd chatter] 95 00:04:04,536 --> 00:04:06,456 [megaphone]: Step right up! Step right up! 96 00:04:06,455 --> 00:04:08,785 See the magnificent Elephant Man. 97 00:04:08,790 --> 00:04:11,880 Half elephant, all man! 98 00:04:11,877 --> 00:04:13,457 The snout of a mighty elephant 99 00:04:13,462 --> 00:04:16,222 and the sad, ridiculous penis of a man. 100 00:04:16,215 --> 00:04:18,255 Repulsed by ol' dingledangle dick? 101 00:04:18,258 --> 00:04:21,138 I politely asked you to stop calling me that, Maurice. 102 00:04:21,136 --> 00:04:24,096 Behold the broad with a beard! 103 00:04:24,097 --> 00:04:25,847 Feast your eyes on the atrocity 104 00:04:25,849 --> 00:04:28,389 God certainly turned his back on. 105 00:04:28,393 --> 00:04:31,193 For those with weak stomachs, medics are on standby. 106 00:04:31,188 --> 00:04:34,648 Last year, she grossed someone out to death. Ah! 107 00:04:34,650 --> 00:04:37,190 Plenty of oddities to tickle your interest! 108 00:04:37,194 --> 00:04:40,914 Feel better about your averageness. Step right up! 109 00:04:42,574 --> 00:04:44,204 Soon, it will be ready! 110 00:04:44,201 --> 00:04:46,331 We have a special Candy Scepter 111 00:04:46,328 --> 00:04:48,618 for the first taste! [rummaging] 112 00:04:48,622 --> 00:04:50,872 ♪ angelic music ♪ 113 00:04:50,874 --> 00:04:53,094 [excited giggling] 114 00:04:53,085 --> 00:04:55,205 Patrick, I must be the first one 115 00:04:55,212 --> 00:04:57,382 to taste the elusive cloud candy. 116 00:04:57,381 --> 00:04:59,131 You can count on me, Sire. 117 00:04:59,132 --> 00:05:02,342 I will keep every mouth away from this spun sugar delight 118 00:05:02,344 --> 00:05:05,434 until the first bite is melting in your mouth. 119 00:05:05,430 --> 00:05:07,930 Spoken like a future knight. 120 00:05:07,933 --> 00:05:10,353 Or a smut romance novelist. 121 00:05:10,727 --> 00:05:13,517 Ah. Here, kid. Feeling generous today. 122 00:05:15,899 --> 00:05:16,899 [clatter] 123 00:05:16,900 --> 00:05:18,490 ♪ 124 00:05:19,987 --> 00:05:21,447 [clank, gem tinkles] 125 00:05:21,947 --> 00:05:24,157 Hm. I really thought you'd catch that. 126 00:05:24,157 --> 00:05:26,027 Not very knightlike. [tiger roars] 127 00:05:26,034 --> 00:05:27,744 Oh my god, tigers! 128 00:05:28,829 --> 00:05:30,909 Squire, resume walking tour. 129 00:05:31,623 --> 00:05:33,583 Resuming walking tour. 130 00:05:33,584 --> 00:05:35,464 Hm. Spoken like a future knight. 131 00:05:38,005 --> 00:05:41,465 By the W, those worthless diamonds are from the "donate" pile. 132 00:05:41,466 --> 00:05:44,086 They're super flawed, just like my manchild husband 133 00:05:44,094 --> 00:05:47,314 who I'm learning to love again through the magic of counseling. Hm. 134 00:05:47,306 --> 00:05:49,016 Happy Circus Day. 135 00:05:50,517 --> 00:05:54,017 And furthermore, caged animals display repetitive behavior 136 00:05:54,021 --> 00:05:57,521 due to the lack of engagement and extreme levels of stress. 137 00:05:57,524 --> 00:06:00,194 On the right, you'll seeOh. 138 00:06:00,194 --> 00:06:02,954 Sorry. On the left Wow! 139 00:06:02,946 --> 00:06:05,026 Scatacological magic! 140 00:06:05,032 --> 00:06:07,372 I love the circus. 141 00:06:08,744 --> 00:06:11,414 Hey, hey! Blarney's beef tubes! 142 00:06:11,413 --> 00:06:12,833 Get your beef tubes! 143 00:06:12,831 --> 00:06:15,501 Plump and juicy beef tubes! 144 00:06:15,501 --> 00:06:17,881 [gasps] No way! 145 00:06:17,878 --> 00:06:19,338 ♪ 146 00:06:19,338 --> 00:06:22,668 Hey, hey! It's Tubbo, Flatfoot, and Bidet! 147 00:06:22,674 --> 00:06:26,264 It's me, Blarney from clown college. 148 00:06:26,261 --> 00:06:27,891 Didn't you get kicked out? 149 00:06:27,888 --> 00:06:30,718 Yes, I did! At orientation. 150 00:06:30,724 --> 00:06:33,564 For partying too hard! [laughs] 151 00:06:33,560 --> 00:06:37,400 And assault. My tuition was not refunded. 152 00:06:38,941 --> 00:06:41,111 Anyway, you playing tonight? Do you need a... 153 00:06:41,109 --> 00:06:43,739 [quietly]: one, two, three, four, five... seventh? 154 00:06:44,363 --> 00:06:46,573 [laughter] 155 00:06:47,074 --> 00:06:48,704 No offense, Blonzo. 156 00:06:48,700 --> 00:06:50,910 [laughs] Blonzo! It's Blurtney. 157 00:06:50,911 --> 00:06:53,751 Gah! Why'd I say that? Blarney. I'm Blarney. 158 00:06:53,747 --> 00:06:56,247 You're not big top material. 159 00:06:56,250 --> 00:06:57,920 [grunting] 160 00:06:57,918 --> 00:07:00,918 [laughter] 161 00:07:05,175 --> 00:07:07,005 Excuse me, excuse me, excuse me. Nope! 162 00:07:07,511 --> 00:07:08,761 Get outta here! Ow! 163 00:07:08,762 --> 00:07:10,182 [grumbling] 164 00:07:10,180 --> 00:07:12,020 Hey! PATRICK: So sorry, 165 00:07:12,015 --> 00:07:13,885 but the first taste is reserved for the king. 166 00:07:13,892 --> 00:07:15,602 Oh, taste my ass. 167 00:07:15,602 --> 00:07:17,692 [coughing] Please, sir. 168 00:07:18,397 --> 00:07:20,357 I'm not long for this world. 169 00:07:20,357 --> 00:07:22,727 I haven't had a joyful moment in ages! 170 00:07:22,734 --> 00:07:25,534 My last wish is to taste the fairy floss. 171 00:07:25,988 --> 00:07:28,118 May I, please? May I? 172 00:07:28,115 --> 00:07:29,945 [coughing] [Patrick sighs] 173 00:07:29,950 --> 00:07:32,160 It's just that the first bite belongs to the king. 174 00:07:32,160 --> 00:07:33,540 I'm sorry, little buddy. 175 00:07:33,537 --> 00:07:36,497 What?! That always works! You're an arsehole! 176 00:07:36,498 --> 00:07:39,418 Ah! [groaning] Hey, Patrick! 177 00:07:39,418 --> 00:07:41,298 [Patrick groaning] Sleeping on the job? 178 00:07:41,295 --> 00:07:43,295 That's cool. I got fired! 179 00:07:44,298 --> 00:07:47,378 Behold! The coveted First Taste! 180 00:07:48,051 --> 00:07:49,891 ♪ angelic music ♪ 181 00:07:49,887 --> 00:07:51,677 CROWD: Aah... 182 00:07:53,265 --> 00:07:56,055 Ah! WhaDa Where's the First Taste? 183 00:07:56,059 --> 00:07:59,019 Well, there's an old idiom in the cotton candy business. 184 00:07:59,021 --> 00:08:01,231 You snooze, you lose. 185 00:08:01,231 --> 00:08:03,361 ♪ 186 00:08:03,358 --> 00:08:05,858 Come back! In the name of the king! 187 00:08:10,741 --> 00:08:13,331 I will lick the inside of your entire asshole 188 00:08:13,327 --> 00:08:14,747 for that cotton candy. 189 00:08:14,745 --> 00:08:16,705 It's five cents. 190 00:08:16,705 --> 00:08:18,745 I will lick the inside of your entire asshole 191 00:08:18,749 --> 00:08:20,829 if you let me borrow five cents. 192 00:08:20,834 --> 00:08:21,844 ♪ 193 00:08:24,588 --> 00:08:26,838 ♪ 194 00:08:26,840 --> 00:08:28,840 [applause] [tiger roars] 195 00:08:28,842 --> 00:08:31,222 [roaring] CROWD: Ooh! 196 00:08:31,220 --> 00:08:34,310 [seals barking] Aah! 197 00:08:34,306 --> 00:08:36,806 [cheering] 198 00:08:36,808 --> 00:08:39,438 When do you think Piss Angel's gonna come out? Soon? 199 00:08:39,436 --> 00:08:41,686 Would you keep your dong in your drawers?! 200 00:08:41,688 --> 00:08:43,148 Um, I mean, 201 00:08:43,148 --> 00:08:45,478 as our couples' counselor would want me to phrase it, 202 00:08:45,484 --> 00:08:48,784 I feel like you should keep your dong in your drawers. 203 00:08:48,779 --> 00:08:50,029 Honey. 204 00:08:50,322 --> 00:08:51,452 [nose squeaking] 205 00:08:51,448 --> 00:08:53,078 ♪ 206 00:08:53,075 --> 00:08:56,075 Has anyone seen a kid with our king's head on a gold stick? 207 00:08:56,578 --> 00:08:58,078 Oh, you're not stopping. Okay. 208 00:09:02,334 --> 00:09:04,134 ♪ mysterious music ♪ 209 00:09:04,127 --> 00:09:06,337 [door creaking] [man struggling] 210 00:09:06,338 --> 00:09:08,338 Um, hello? 211 00:09:08,340 --> 00:09:10,630 [struggling continues] 212 00:09:10,634 --> 00:09:12,974 Mr. Mind Leak? Have you seen a 213 00:09:12,970 --> 00:09:16,850 My lungs are constricting in this straightjacket. 214 00:09:16,849 --> 00:09:19,349 Every breath I take could be my last! 215 00:09:19,351 --> 00:09:21,851 Unless... [struggling] 216 00:09:22,771 --> 00:09:25,231 Uh, that's not how straightjackets work. 217 00:09:25,232 --> 00:09:28,572 And I'm free! [laughs] Great. Cool. Tight. 218 00:09:28,569 --> 00:09:30,739 Um, so hi. I'm Patrick, and I'm looking for 219 00:09:30,737 --> 00:09:33,317 Watch my mouth. Jesus H. Christ! 220 00:09:33,323 --> 00:09:35,993 Why?! You're gonna shred your colon! 221 00:09:35,993 --> 00:09:38,583 Let me leak your mind... [grunts] 222 00:09:38,579 --> 00:09:40,579 [poof] [door opening, slamming shut] 223 00:09:42,666 --> 00:09:46,036 I saw you go through the trap door. None of this is magic. 224 00:09:46,044 --> 00:09:47,054 [creak] 225 00:09:47,713 --> 00:09:50,173 I made him disappear? 226 00:09:50,174 --> 00:09:53,094 [gasps] I am magic! Argh! [glass breaks] 227 00:09:53,427 --> 00:09:57,097 Oh, please! I have never wanted anything more 228 00:09:57,097 --> 00:10:00,637 than a shot of vodka. Gah! Shot at the stage! 229 00:10:00,642 --> 00:10:02,982 We can't just let any schmo up there. 230 00:10:02,978 --> 00:10:06,608 You need a degree in tomfoolery and a minor in jackassery. 231 00:10:06,607 --> 00:10:09,397 Oh, come on! A piece of paper 232 00:10:09,401 --> 00:10:12,321 can't tell you if you can clown, man! 233 00:10:12,321 --> 00:10:14,661 It comes from the heart! 234 00:10:14,656 --> 00:10:16,486 And I've got an enlarged one! 235 00:10:16,491 --> 00:10:18,701 Buzz off, cornball. You're just a loser 236 00:10:18,702 --> 00:10:21,082 with a dream that'll never come true. 237 00:10:21,079 --> 00:10:23,619 CLOWNS: Red nose goes! Aw, yeet yeet! 238 00:10:23,624 --> 00:10:25,834 Juju on the beat! Tuna can! 239 00:10:25,834 --> 00:10:28,464 Hello to the big top! The big top! Woof woof! 240 00:10:28,462 --> 00:10:30,882 Let's go get 'em, boys. TUBBO: Let's go! 241 00:10:31,548 --> 00:10:35,388 Oh, I'll show ya who's the real fool. 242 00:10:35,385 --> 00:10:37,385 ♪ circus music ♪ 243 00:10:37,763 --> 00:10:40,143 [Blarney screaming] [clowns grunting] 244 00:10:40,140 --> 00:10:41,890 ACROBATS: Haha! Hoohoo! 245 00:10:41,892 --> 00:10:43,812 [grunting] [crowd cheering] 246 00:10:44,853 --> 00:10:46,863 Oh! A pie to the face! 247 00:10:46,855 --> 00:10:50,185 I've never seen that before! These guys are geniuses! 248 00:10:50,567 --> 00:10:51,777 [growls] 249 00:10:53,445 --> 00:10:56,735 What? They topped it! I didn't think they could improve on that! 250 00:10:57,324 --> 00:10:59,704 Ah! [growling] 251 00:10:59,701 --> 00:11:01,831 I really loved what you did with the clowns. 252 00:11:01,828 --> 00:11:03,828 Let's write it into the act. Excuse me, 253 00:11:03,830 --> 00:11:05,620 have you seen an orphan around here? 254 00:11:05,624 --> 00:11:08,674 You can always tell an orphan from the contractions and double negatives. 255 00:11:08,669 --> 00:11:10,419 There ain't no orphan 'round here! 256 00:11:10,420 --> 00:11:13,720 You mean there isn't an orphan around here? 257 00:11:13,715 --> 00:11:16,085 Fuck off, buddy! Squirrel wings! 258 00:11:16,093 --> 00:11:18,183 [laughter] 259 00:11:18,804 --> 00:11:21,524 Squirrel wings? That was Danielle's thing. 260 00:11:21,515 --> 00:11:24,265 This place is crawling with reminders of my ex. [gasps] 261 00:11:24,268 --> 00:11:25,558 ♪ 262 00:11:25,561 --> 00:11:26,811 Gotcha! 263 00:11:26,812 --> 00:11:30,072 [laughs] Look! I'm facefucking the king! 264 00:11:30,065 --> 00:11:32,565 [grunting] 265 00:11:33,402 --> 00:11:35,402 ♪ 266 00:11:37,114 --> 00:11:39,244 WHISPERING VOICES: Exgirlfriend. OMG, it's your exgirlfriend. 267 00:11:39,241 --> 00:11:40,831 [gasps] 268 00:11:41,410 --> 00:11:43,000 I'm in love with you, 269 00:11:42,995 --> 00:11:45,825 but I'm gonna kill everyone you care about. 270 00:11:45,831 --> 00:11:47,331 Come and get me. 271 00:11:48,250 --> 00:11:50,130 [grunting] 272 00:11:50,127 --> 00:11:53,547 MERRIMAN: I'm also in love with you, and I'm going to knight you. 273 00:11:53,547 --> 00:11:55,717 Now, get this orphan's wiener out of my face. 274 00:11:55,716 --> 00:11:57,966 What do I do, what do I do, what do I do? 275 00:11:57,968 --> 00:12:00,968 [grunting continues] 276 00:12:01,471 --> 00:12:04,561 [growling] That's the assassin! Stop her! 277 00:12:05,017 --> 00:12:06,637 Not so fast! 278 00:12:06,643 --> 00:12:07,983 Juggle trap! Nyah! 279 00:12:07,978 --> 00:12:09,808 Whoa! Ah! [panting] 280 00:12:09,813 --> 00:12:11,863 Us circus folks stick together! 281 00:12:11,857 --> 00:12:13,977 You wanna get to her, you gotta go through me! 282 00:12:13,984 --> 00:12:15,744 Oh! God! Ah! 283 00:12:15,736 --> 00:12:17,906 She's getting away! Stop protecting her! 284 00:12:17,905 --> 00:12:20,485 [grunting] Ah! Molotov cocktail! 285 00:12:20,490 --> 00:12:24,160 [grunting] Must... break... the... juggle. 286 00:12:24,161 --> 00:12:26,121 Ah! If you come back 'round here, 287 00:12:26,121 --> 00:12:28,581 you'll be juggling with the fishes! 288 00:12:28,582 --> 00:12:32,252 Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, 289 00:12:32,252 --> 00:12:35,052 binaries and nonbinaries, 290 00:12:35,047 --> 00:12:38,177 it's the moment you've all been waiting for... 291 00:12:38,175 --> 00:12:39,505 MERRIMAN: Piss Angel! 292 00:12:39,510 --> 00:12:41,930 It's the golden boy himself... 293 00:12:41,929 --> 00:12:44,219 MERRIMAN: Piss Angel Mind Leak?! 294 00:12:44,223 --> 00:12:47,353 Give a warm Cirque du Circus welcome 295 00:12:47,351 --> 00:12:48,271 to... 296 00:12:48,268 --> 00:12:50,558 Piss Angel Mind Leak! RINGLEADER: Piss Angel... 297 00:12:50,562 --> 00:12:52,902 Mind Leak! [cheering] 298 00:12:52,898 --> 00:12:55,438 Move. [grunting] 299 00:12:57,069 --> 00:13:00,409 Patrick... oh, I did a bad thing. [stomach gurgling] 300 00:13:00,405 --> 00:13:03,195 I chased the cotton dragon, and I caught her. 301 00:13:03,200 --> 00:13:04,330 [Patrick sighs] 302 00:13:05,327 --> 00:13:06,247 [gasps] 303 00:13:06,662 --> 00:13:09,672 ♪ suspenseful music ♪ 304 00:13:10,582 --> 00:13:13,422 Ah, ha! [gasps] Have you seen my grandma? 305 00:13:13,418 --> 00:13:14,418 What the... 306 00:13:16,296 --> 00:13:17,296 ♪ dramatic sting ♪ 307 00:13:18,632 --> 00:13:21,472 I ask the wise, I ask the weak, 308 00:13:21,468 --> 00:13:23,678 a volunteer is 309 00:13:23,679 --> 00:13:25,059 what I seek. 310 00:13:25,055 --> 00:13:27,675 [excited squealing] Me! Please pick me! 311 00:13:27,683 --> 00:13:30,313 You, sir! The eager young man 312 00:13:30,310 --> 00:13:33,270 with the gleaming crown. Come forward. 313 00:13:33,272 --> 00:13:35,572 Outta the way! Outta the way! Make way for the king! 314 00:13:35,566 --> 00:13:38,106 One side! I'm special! Not you! 315 00:13:38,110 --> 00:13:39,440 [grunts] 316 00:13:39,444 --> 00:13:41,784 ♪ 317 00:13:41,780 --> 00:13:43,950 Ah, ha! [roars] Oh, hey. Uh, 318 00:13:43,949 --> 00:13:47,079 it's me, um, Little Red Riding Hood. Yup. [burp] 319 00:13:47,870 --> 00:13:51,040 I'm just going to go my gramgram's now. 320 00:13:51,039 --> 00:13:52,249 TTYL! 321 00:13:54,168 --> 00:13:55,498 Oh! 322 00:13:55,502 --> 00:13:58,762 [excited giggling] Oh boy! Oh good! 323 00:13:58,755 --> 00:14:00,915 ♪ 324 00:14:00,924 --> 00:14:03,724 Ha! Oh! Blessed be the squash. 325 00:14:03,719 --> 00:14:06,429 I am the Footmaid. Would you care to hear my fable? 326 00:14:06,430 --> 00:14:10,180 Oh... This sounds long. No, thank you. 327 00:14:10,184 --> 00:14:11,694 Oh! Wait! 328 00:14:14,563 --> 00:14:16,823 Hm. You're Patrick. 329 00:14:16,815 --> 00:14:18,815 Danielle had a message for you. 330 00:14:18,817 --> 00:14:21,147 ♪ 331 00:14:21,153 --> 00:14:23,163 [panting] I did it! [laughs] 332 00:14:23,155 --> 00:14:26,735 I'm the volunteer. What is your name, young man? 333 00:14:26,742 --> 00:14:28,122 [timidly]: King Merriman. 334 00:14:28,118 --> 00:14:30,198 Well, King Merriman, behold! 335 00:14:30,204 --> 00:14:33,584 The Box of Comeuppance! Comeuppance?! 336 00:14:33,582 --> 00:14:35,792 [gasps] I love comeuppance! 337 00:14:35,792 --> 00:14:38,462 It's like I'm standing in a coffin! 338 00:14:38,462 --> 00:14:40,342 A king you now lack, 339 00:14:40,339 --> 00:14:42,259 a king you'll get back. 340 00:14:42,257 --> 00:14:45,007 Chant "bring back the king" three times, 341 00:14:45,010 --> 00:14:46,890 and Piss Angel 342 00:14:46,887 --> 00:14:48,807 will leak your minds! 343 00:14:48,805 --> 00:14:52,385 CROWD: Bring back the king! Bring back the king! 344 00:14:52,392 --> 00:14:55,942 "In... sum... at"? 345 00:14:55,938 --> 00:14:58,608 Sorry, it's been awhile since I've been allowed to read words. 346 00:14:58,607 --> 00:15:01,737 "Inin sum... mation... 347 00:15:01,735 --> 00:15:04,275 This is a dis...dis..." 348 00:15:04,279 --> 00:15:05,989 Distraction! I can do it! 349 00:15:05,989 --> 00:15:08,279 "Distraction. The lo... 350 00:15:08,283 --> 00:15:10,793 "longer you stand here, 351 00:15:10,786 --> 00:15:13,656 "the longer you leave your king unprotected. 352 00:15:13,664 --> 00:15:16,714 [Patrick gasps] "You're a fool and a virgin." 353 00:15:16,708 --> 00:15:18,538 See? I can read! 354 00:15:18,544 --> 00:15:19,634 Oh, he left. 355 00:15:19,628 --> 00:15:21,168 CROWD: Bring back the king... 356 00:15:21,171 --> 00:15:23,511 You asked, and I shall deliver. 357 00:15:23,507 --> 00:15:26,967 Bring back the king, and may he long live... 358 00:15:26,969 --> 00:15:28,549 er. [crowd groaning] 359 00:15:28,554 --> 00:15:32,224 [scoffs] Rhymes are hard. I'm freestyling up here, you know? 360 00:15:32,224 --> 00:15:33,934 [grunts] Behold! 361 00:15:33,934 --> 00:15:35,444 [crowd gasping] 362 00:15:35,435 --> 00:15:36,685 ♪ 363 00:15:38,564 --> 00:15:40,154 Papa's home! 364 00:15:40,148 --> 00:15:41,318 Oh no. 365 00:15:41,316 --> 00:15:42,606 [laughs] 366 00:15:45,529 --> 00:15:47,489 [panicked crowd chatter] 367 00:15:47,489 --> 00:15:49,659 The old king is alive! Ah! 368 00:15:50,659 --> 00:15:53,409 Your rightful ruler is back from the dead, 369 00:15:53,412 --> 00:15:55,412 ya spoony rascals! 370 00:15:55,414 --> 00:15:58,544 Now, who wants to tug on my testes? 371 00:15:58,542 --> 00:15:59,792 [clears throat] 372 00:15:59,793 --> 00:16:01,843 Oh, where are my manners? 373 00:16:01,837 --> 00:16:03,627 May I introduce to you 374 00:16:03,630 --> 00:16:07,090 the brainpower behind my return to the people. 375 00:16:07,092 --> 00:16:09,142 My granddaughter, Danielle. 376 00:16:09,136 --> 00:16:10,466 Ha, ha! 377 00:16:10,470 --> 00:16:12,890 WHISPERING VOICES: Exgirlfriend. OMG, it's your exgirlfriend. 378 00:16:12,890 --> 00:16:14,520 Ah! Danielle! 379 00:16:14,516 --> 00:16:17,016 Raised in a circus, bitch! 380 00:16:17,019 --> 00:16:19,859 Tada! Grand entrance! Surprise! [poofing] 381 00:16:19,855 --> 00:16:22,685 What am I gonna do? Think, Patrick, think! 382 00:16:22,691 --> 00:16:24,651 Danielle's about to do a redemptive monologue, 383 00:16:24,651 --> 00:16:27,491 which means you have, like, 45 seconds to make a plan. 384 00:16:27,487 --> 00:16:30,067 That's right! Twelve years ago, 385 00:16:30,073 --> 00:16:33,163 they said the old king died in a plague, 386 00:16:33,160 --> 00:16:35,120 but he didn't die in anything. 387 00:16:35,120 --> 00:16:37,500 They just locked his old ass up! Ooh. 388 00:16:37,915 --> 00:16:40,705 Sorry, Grandpa. What? Who are you? 389 00:16:40,709 --> 00:16:41,919 ♪ 390 00:16:41,919 --> 00:16:43,799 Ha, ha! [poof] 391 00:16:44,087 --> 00:16:46,087 [door opening, slamming shut] 392 00:16:47,716 --> 00:16:51,136 I saw you go through the trap door. None of this is magic. 393 00:16:51,136 --> 00:16:52,426 [creak] 394 00:16:53,263 --> 00:16:54,183 [gasps] 395 00:16:54,598 --> 00:16:57,598 DANIELLE: And who's to blame? King Merriman. 396 00:16:57,601 --> 00:17:00,731 Merriman, who faked the rightful king's death, 397 00:17:00,729 --> 00:17:03,769 so he could callously take the throne for himself. 398 00:17:03,774 --> 00:17:07,034 Merriman, who found untold riches underground 399 00:17:07,027 --> 00:17:09,737 and shared them with whom? Nobody! 400 00:17:09,738 --> 00:17:11,408 Do you feel rich? 401 00:17:11,406 --> 00:17:13,986 No! I don't feel rich! 402 00:17:13,992 --> 00:17:16,952 Jeez, would you give someone else a chance to outburst? 403 00:17:17,996 --> 00:17:18,996 Hm? 404 00:17:18,997 --> 00:17:21,497 [nervous laughing] Alright... 405 00:17:21,500 --> 00:17:24,340 Guards, arrest my daughterinlaw! 406 00:17:24,336 --> 00:17:26,756 She was in on it the whole time! 407 00:17:26,755 --> 00:17:29,415 Boo! Boo, I say! 408 00:17:29,424 --> 00:17:31,844 [crowd booing] You suck! 409 00:17:31,844 --> 00:17:34,604 Oh, boo me all you want! 410 00:17:34,596 --> 00:17:37,556 My heart is a pickle! I can't feel shame! 411 00:17:37,558 --> 00:17:38,558 [hisses] 412 00:17:38,559 --> 00:17:41,189 ♪ 413 00:17:43,146 --> 00:17:44,146 [sword slices] 414 00:17:47,067 --> 00:17:48,687 Patrick, you're not supposed to be down here. 415 00:17:48,694 --> 00:17:51,914 But I won't leave you, Sire! Get out, you civilian! 416 00:17:51,905 --> 00:17:53,235 Ooh, you're gonna ruin the trick! 417 00:17:53,240 --> 00:17:56,120 Your Majesty, the trick is that the old king is back, 418 00:17:56,118 --> 00:17:59,498 and the entire kingdom knows what you did. Uhoh. 419 00:17:59,496 --> 00:18:00,956 We need to get you out of here. 420 00:18:00,956 --> 00:18:04,626 Oh, no. I'll die before I give up the throne to that old mummy. 421 00:18:04,626 --> 00:18:07,876 There are 200 armed guards ready to murder you on sight! 422 00:18:07,880 --> 00:18:10,760 Is that supposed to scare me? Because it does. Let's roll. 423 00:18:10,757 --> 00:18:13,387 [grunts] Ooh... [groans] 424 00:18:13,385 --> 00:18:14,965 [footsteps] 425 00:18:14,970 --> 00:18:17,180 GUARD: Under the stage! They found us! 426 00:18:17,181 --> 00:18:18,931 Oh. I failed you, Sire. 427 00:18:18,932 --> 00:18:21,642 Eh. You're no failure. Just flawed. 428 00:18:22,644 --> 00:18:24,354 [gasps] Flawed! 429 00:18:24,354 --> 00:18:26,024 [scraping] 430 00:18:26,023 --> 00:18:27,273 [glass shatters] 431 00:18:28,150 --> 00:18:29,400 It'll do. 432 00:18:30,444 --> 00:18:31,454 [shatters] 433 00:18:31,445 --> 00:18:33,775 ♪ 434 00:18:33,780 --> 00:18:34,990 [both panting] 435 00:18:39,119 --> 00:18:41,619 Be right back. I see an old friend. 436 00:18:43,081 --> 00:18:45,581 [punching, fighting] [Patrick and Orphan grunting] 437 00:18:45,584 --> 00:18:46,924 ORPHAN: Oh, why! 438 00:18:46,919 --> 00:18:48,749 [pants] Here you go, sir. 439 00:18:48,754 --> 00:18:51,304 The first taste of cotton candy, all for you. 440 00:18:51,298 --> 00:18:52,758 Well, that's all well and good, 441 00:18:52,758 --> 00:18:55,838 but did you just beat a 9yearold boy unconscious? 442 00:18:55,844 --> 00:18:56,854 We better keep moving. 443 00:18:56,845 --> 00:18:59,095 [indistinct chatter] 444 00:18:59,097 --> 00:19:02,307 There's going to be some changes around here. 445 00:19:03,060 --> 00:19:05,560 Okay, guys, when he finishes talking, 446 00:19:05,562 --> 00:19:07,732 we roll in with our showstopper 447 00:19:07,731 --> 00:19:09,821 and make history. 448 00:19:09,816 --> 00:19:11,936 Shotgun! [clown horns honking] 449 00:19:11,944 --> 00:19:13,364 There's no room, fuckface. 450 00:19:13,362 --> 00:19:15,862 [horns honking, silly noises] 451 00:19:17,366 --> 00:19:20,536 Say, where's my jester? 452 00:19:20,536 --> 00:19:21,536 [whispering] 453 00:19:21,537 --> 00:19:24,617 [gasps] Bungles is dead? 454 00:19:25,332 --> 00:19:27,842 Well, who's gonna make my tummy jiggle? 455 00:19:27,835 --> 00:19:30,545 I demand a replacement jester. 456 00:19:30,546 --> 00:19:33,296 Jester? That's what we trained for! 457 00:19:33,298 --> 00:19:35,008 It's every clown's dream! 458 00:19:35,008 --> 00:19:36,718 [slam] Hey! What are you doing? 459 00:19:36,718 --> 00:19:38,798 Sorry, there's no room, 460 00:19:38,804 --> 00:19:40,514 fuckface! [honking] 461 00:19:42,349 --> 00:19:44,099 [galloping] 462 00:19:44,101 --> 00:19:45,391 ♪ 463 00:19:45,394 --> 00:19:46,734 [neighing] 464 00:19:47,145 --> 00:19:48,555 [tires screech] 465 00:19:48,564 --> 00:19:51,194 [boom] [clowns screaming] 466 00:19:52,484 --> 00:19:56,324 Replacement jester at your service! [screaming continues] 467 00:19:56,321 --> 00:19:59,371 [panting] To the mines! 468 00:20:00,409 --> 00:20:01,659 Wonderful idea! 469 00:20:01,660 --> 00:20:04,250 Unless you're thinking of using the gems to bribe our way out of this 470 00:20:04,246 --> 00:20:05,996 because those gems are cursed, Patrick, 471 00:20:05,998 --> 00:20:09,208 and we promised to only take what we need, so don't even think about it. 472 00:20:10,127 --> 00:20:12,627 Sire, I know you took all the gems! 473 00:20:16,383 --> 00:20:18,393 ♪ 474 00:20:18,385 --> 00:20:19,385 [hissing] 475 00:20:19,386 --> 00:20:20,756 [boom] 476 00:20:24,600 --> 00:20:27,440 ♪ 477 00:20:27,436 --> 00:20:29,516 [grunting] [mooing] 478 00:20:29,521 --> 00:20:32,361 Christ! I'm getting teabagged left and right here! [grunts] 479 00:20:35,277 --> 00:20:38,697 Okay. We need to go somewhere no one will recognize us. 480 00:20:38,697 --> 00:20:42,197 No, Patrick. Not we. I need you back at the castle. 481 00:20:42,868 --> 00:20:45,448 Someone needs to watch over my Tulip and my Petal. 482 00:20:45,454 --> 00:20:47,874 [sighs] I won't let you down, Sire. 483 00:20:47,873 --> 00:20:49,793 You probably will. 484 00:20:49,791 --> 00:20:51,711 Okay. Well, 485 00:20:51,710 --> 00:20:54,420 I'm off to disappear into the countryside, 486 00:20:54,421 --> 00:20:56,631 become one with the common folk. 487 00:20:56,632 --> 00:20:59,342 Maybe I'll even follow my dream of joining the circus! 488 00:20:59,343 --> 00:21:00,933 Did you know the circus is in town? 489 00:21:00,928 --> 00:21:03,218 That's a bad idea, Your Majesty. 490 00:21:04,181 --> 00:21:06,981 Well, anyway, I'm off. 491 00:21:06,975 --> 00:21:08,805 But, before I go, 492 00:21:08,810 --> 00:21:11,560 time to take that first taste. 493 00:21:11,563 --> 00:21:13,113 Share this with me, Patrick. 494 00:21:13,440 --> 00:21:16,030 Share a circus treat with an old friend. 495 00:21:16,026 --> 00:21:17,606 I'd be honored, Sire. 496 00:21:17,611 --> 00:21:20,951 [chewing] 497 00:21:20,948 --> 00:21:22,988 This is... 498 00:21:22,991 --> 00:21:24,991 disgusting! [Patrick gags] 499 00:21:24,993 --> 00:21:27,873 [scarfing] 500 00:21:29,540 --> 00:21:31,540 Goodbye forever, Patrick. 501 00:21:31,542 --> 00:21:34,042 I'll never forget you, Your Majesty. 502 00:21:34,044 --> 00:21:37,054 ♪ 503 00:21:45,639 --> 00:21:48,639 ♪ 504 00:22:18,672 --> 00:22:21,632 [8bit video game sounds] 505 00:22:21,633 --> 00:22:23,513 KID: That was amazing. 506 00:22:23,510 --> 00:22:25,510 [crinkling, monkey ooking, slap] 507 00:22:25,560 --> 00:22:30,110 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 36037

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