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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:04,004 --> 00:00:06,789 - The auto industry is changing. 2 00:00:06,832 --> 00:00:09,487 Payne Motors has been making cars for 100 years, 3 00:00:09,531 --> 00:00:12,055 but until now, all our CEOs have been men 4 00:00:12,099 --> 00:00:13,839 and members of the Payne family. 5 00:00:13,883 --> 00:00:15,145 - Well, I didn't want the job. 6 00:00:15,189 --> 00:00:16,364 - They didn't offer you the job. 7 00:00:16,407 --> 00:00:17,495 - Because they knew I didn't want it. 8 00:00:17,539 --> 00:00:20,107 - Anyway, today we are-- - You can sit. 9 00:00:20,150 --> 00:00:21,543 I don't need, like, a whole big intro. 10 00:00:21,586 --> 00:00:23,023 - I just had a little bit-- - 11 00:00:23,066 --> 00:00:24,415 I just wanna keep things moving. 12 00:00:24,459 --> 00:00:27,157 All right, so someone bring me up to speed 13 00:00:27,201 --> 00:00:29,029 on this self-driving car that we are announcing. 14 00:00:29,072 --> 00:00:30,813 - Yes. 15 00:00:30,856 --> 00:00:33,859 The Ponderosa will be Payne's first fully autonomous vehicle. 16 00:00:33,903 --> 00:00:35,165 It has seven key innovations-- 17 00:00:35,209 --> 00:00:36,688 - I don't wanna interrupt your flow. 18 00:00:36,732 --> 00:00:39,213 I just have one question, the name Ponderosa, 19 00:00:39,256 --> 00:00:42,259 do we like it? 20 00:00:42,303 --> 00:00:44,827 - It tested well. - Really? 21 00:00:44,870 --> 00:00:48,004 Yeah, to me, it sounds like ponderous, like dull, 22 00:00:48,048 --> 00:00:50,398 you know, like a dull, ponderous car. 23 00:00:50,441 --> 00:00:52,400 - It comes from the Ponderosa pine tree. 24 00:00:52,443 --> 00:00:53,749 - Do people wanna drive a tree? 25 00:00:53,792 --> 00:00:55,490 - We're not saying that it is a tree. 26 00:00:55,533 --> 00:00:57,405 It's just, like, a vibe. - Yeah. 27 00:00:57,448 --> 00:01:00,538 There's also the Ponderosa lemon and the Ponderosa snails. 28 00:01:00,582 --> 00:01:02,149 - But aren't snails like the slowest animal, 29 00:01:02,192 --> 00:01:03,846 and also a lemon? 30 00:01:03,889 --> 00:01:05,717 I mean, isn't that what people call a car that sucks? 31 00:01:05,761 --> 00:01:07,067 Sounds like we're saying 32 00:01:07,110 --> 00:01:10,331 it's like a dull, slow, bad tree-car. 33 00:01:10,374 --> 00:01:12,028 - Yeah, you know, I've gotta say, I agree with you. 34 00:01:12,072 --> 00:01:13,073 You know, I think the name's crap. 35 00:01:13,116 --> 00:01:14,509 - Do you? - Yes, I do. 36 00:01:14,552 --> 00:01:15,988 I've always thought that. - Have you? 37 00:01:16,032 --> 00:01:17,860 - Yes. - To me, it sounds dirty. 38 00:01:17,903 --> 00:01:19,470 Like, pon sounds like poon, 39 00:01:19,514 --> 00:01:22,647 which means vagina, and de rosa means "of pink." 40 00:01:22,691 --> 00:01:25,389 So I just picture a giant pink vagina on wheels. 41 00:01:25,433 --> 00:01:27,217 - That's probably why it tested so well. 42 00:01:27,261 --> 00:01:28,436 - The name isn't important. 43 00:01:28,479 --> 00:01:30,525 We've made advancements in sensor fusion 44 00:01:30,568 --> 00:01:32,440 and scene recognition that will revolutionize-- 45 00:01:32,483 --> 00:01:35,138 - Wasn't there a car that meant something bad in Spanish? 46 00:01:35,182 --> 00:01:36,705 - Yeah. Quite a few of them actually. 47 00:01:36,748 --> 00:01:39,055 There's the Chevy Nova, the Mazda Laputa, 48 00:01:39,099 --> 00:01:40,665 the Mitsubishi Pajero. 49 00:01:40,709 --> 00:01:42,232 - You'd think these companies would hire at least one guy 50 00:01:42,276 --> 00:01:44,452 who spoke Spanish. 51 00:01:44,495 --> 00:01:47,150 - Does anyone here speak Spanish? 52 00:01:49,283 --> 00:01:50,762 - Jesus, people. 53 00:01:50,806 --> 00:01:53,635 [upbeat music] 54 00:01:53,678 --> 00:01:58,727 ♪ 55 00:01:58,770 --> 00:02:02,034 - My great-grandfather would be rolling over in his grave 56 00:02:02,078 --> 00:02:04,428 if he saw that woman running the company that he founded. 57 00:02:04,472 --> 00:02:05,560 - Oh, because he hated women? 58 00:02:05,603 --> 00:02:06,865 - I thought he hated communists. 59 00:02:06,909 --> 00:02:08,737 - No, I think it was Irishmen. - No. 60 00:02:08,780 --> 00:02:10,608 It's because she knows nothing about the auto industry. 61 00:02:10,652 --> 00:02:12,175 - She did pretty well with that drug company. 62 00:02:12,219 --> 00:02:14,308 - Exactly. She's literally a drug dealer. 63 00:02:14,351 --> 00:02:15,613 I wouldn't let my drug dealer 64 00:02:15,657 --> 00:02:17,485 run a billion-dollar corporation. 65 00:02:17,528 --> 00:02:20,618 Actually, with him, I might. He's like low-key genius. 66 00:02:20,662 --> 00:02:22,620 - I just never worked for a woman before. 67 00:02:22,664 --> 00:02:24,187 You know, with a man, if I make a mistake, 68 00:02:24,231 --> 00:02:25,449 I can flirt a little, 69 00:02:25,493 --> 00:02:27,625 but you cannot flirt with a woman. 70 00:02:27,669 --> 00:02:29,758 Well, I guess you can, technically. 71 00:02:29,801 --> 00:02:31,803 We're about 95% sure about my cousin. 72 00:02:31,847 --> 00:02:34,284 - Hello. - She just bought two ladders. 73 00:02:34,328 --> 00:02:35,807 - You'll be fine, all right? 74 00:02:35,851 --> 00:02:37,200 If anyone's gonna be fired, it's probably gonna be me. 75 00:02:37,244 --> 00:02:38,375 - Or me. - Yeah. 76 00:02:38,419 --> 00:02:39,507 Actually, I really hope it is you. 77 00:02:39,550 --> 00:02:40,943 - I can totally see it being you, dude. 78 00:02:40,986 --> 00:02:42,292 - Now that you said it out loud, I was thinking it. 79 00:02:42,336 --> 00:02:43,989 - And another feature of the Payne Ponderosa 80 00:02:44,033 --> 00:02:47,254 is it's--how do you say this? Chassis, chass-ees? 81 00:02:47,297 --> 00:02:50,822 - Chass-y. - Chass-y, oh, like gassy. 82 00:02:50,866 --> 00:02:53,216 I was feeling very gassy when I got on my chassy. 83 00:02:53,260 --> 00:02:54,870 Chassy. - Perfect. 84 00:02:54,913 --> 00:02:57,220 And then before you introduce the car, 85 00:02:57,264 --> 00:02:58,656 I thought you might wanna say a few words 86 00:02:58,700 --> 00:03:00,963 about what made you excited to come to Payne? 87 00:03:01,006 --> 00:03:03,661 - Oh, I can do that in two words, the money. 88 00:03:03,705 --> 00:03:05,881 I mean, obviously, it wasn't just the money. 89 00:03:05,924 --> 00:03:07,578 There were stock options. 90 00:03:07,622 --> 00:03:09,319 - Right, well, maybe just more what you love 91 00:03:09,363 --> 00:03:11,321 about cars then in general. 92 00:03:11,365 --> 00:03:13,671 - Honestly, I'm not really that into cars. 93 00:03:13,715 --> 00:03:15,412 I mean, if anything, I think is kind of weird 94 00:03:15,456 --> 00:03:17,762 how some people fetishize transportation. 95 00:03:17,806 --> 00:03:19,286 - Right. 96 00:03:19,329 --> 00:03:21,026 Well, that could be a challenge leading a car company. 97 00:03:21,070 --> 00:03:22,854 - I actually think it's better 98 00:03:22,898 --> 00:03:24,856 if you're not that into what you're selling. 99 00:03:24,900 --> 00:03:27,511 It's, like, if you're really into heroin, don't sell heroin. 100 00:03:27,555 --> 00:03:29,557 Go into a different field, you know? 101 00:03:29,600 --> 00:03:31,776 Why, are you like some kind of crazy car person? 102 00:03:31,820 --> 00:03:33,387 - Me? Oh, no, not really. 103 00:03:33,430 --> 00:03:35,258 I mean, define car person, right? 104 00:03:35,302 --> 00:03:37,521 Do I appreciate cars? Sure. 105 00:03:37,565 --> 00:03:39,480 Do I love them? I mean, define love. 106 00:03:39,523 --> 00:03:41,743 Define cars for that matter. 107 00:03:43,832 --> 00:03:47,183 Anyways, so the analysts, they get here at 5:00. 108 00:03:47,227 --> 00:03:49,098 So if you want-- - Who's that guy? 109 00:03:49,141 --> 00:03:50,360 - I don't know. 110 00:03:50,404 --> 00:03:52,536 It's some worker. He looks lost. 111 00:03:52,580 --> 00:03:53,450 - Seems like he needs to talk to you. 112 00:03:53,494 --> 00:03:54,669 - Does he? - Mm-hmm. 113 00:03:54,712 --> 00:03:58,847 - That's weird. Okay, now I'll go--okay. 114 00:03:58,890 --> 00:04:00,501 Go see whoever the heck that is. 115 00:04:00,544 --> 00:04:03,330 And we'll continue this on the B side, Katherine. 116 00:04:03,373 --> 00:04:05,636 - Grassy Shirley Bassey got on her chassy. 117 00:04:05,680 --> 00:04:07,377 - What are you doing here? 118 00:04:07,421 --> 00:04:08,726 - Oh, I just needed to talk to you. 119 00:04:08,770 --> 00:04:10,162 Do you know I've never been up to this level-- 120 00:04:10,206 --> 00:04:11,381 - Just--haven't you-- - This place is really nice. 121 00:04:11,425 --> 00:04:13,253 - Yes, please get in. 122 00:04:14,471 --> 00:04:16,081 Look, I am sorry. 123 00:04:16,125 --> 00:04:18,301 Last week, that was fun, but it was a mistake. 124 00:04:18,345 --> 00:04:20,912 - Oh, you told me. - We have this new boss. 125 00:04:20,956 --> 00:04:22,740 And it would look really bad for me 126 00:04:22,784 --> 00:04:24,220 to be involved with a guy from the factory. 127 00:04:24,264 --> 00:04:25,656 Sorry, not the factory. Just anyone who works here. 128 00:04:25,700 --> 00:04:27,049 - Are you trying to have me transferred 129 00:04:27,092 --> 00:04:28,180 to the truck plant in Westland? 130 00:04:28,224 --> 00:04:29,617 - Hm? - Yeah. 131 00:04:29,660 --> 00:04:31,096 I thought maybe you felt weird about having me around 132 00:04:31,140 --> 00:04:33,751 after--well, you know, and you want to get rid of me. 133 00:04:33,795 --> 00:04:37,842 - No, that was not me. - Are you sure? 134 00:04:37,886 --> 00:04:40,410 Because my supervisor said it was you. 135 00:04:40,454 --> 00:04:42,194 - Oh, Westland? - Westland. 136 00:04:42,238 --> 00:04:43,587 - Westland? - Westland. 137 00:04:43,631 --> 00:04:44,588 - Yes, no, what happened was 138 00:04:44,632 --> 00:04:46,329 that we got this call asking 139 00:04:46,373 --> 00:04:48,288 for a new day shift operator in the Westland, 140 00:04:48,331 --> 00:04:49,332 and I heard you're the best. 141 00:04:49,376 --> 00:04:51,639 - Really? Who do you hear that from? 142 00:04:51,682 --> 00:04:53,380 - Lots of people. - Was one of them Shawn? 143 00:04:53,423 --> 00:04:55,425 - Yes, Shawn. - Yes. 144 00:04:55,469 --> 00:04:57,079 - He loves you. - Okay, which Shawn was it? 145 00:04:57,122 --> 00:04:59,211 - I do not know his last name-- 146 00:04:59,255 --> 00:05:01,431 - 'Cause we don't have a single Shawn that works here. 147 00:05:01,475 --> 00:05:03,564 - I find that hard to believe. 148 00:05:04,173 --> 00:05:06,741 - In a way, being the CEO would have been the easy way out. 149 00:05:06,784 --> 00:05:09,091 I'm able to be more effective as a consultant. 150 00:05:09,134 --> 00:05:10,397 - Mm-hmm. - Dori. 151 00:05:10,440 --> 00:05:12,312 If anyone calls, I'll be down at the test track. 152 00:05:12,355 --> 00:05:13,617 - Okay. 153 00:05:13,661 --> 00:05:14,966 - And can you handle whatever A/V stuff we need 154 00:05:15,010 --> 00:05:16,316 for the presentation this afternoon? 155 00:05:16,359 --> 00:05:17,534 - Me? 156 00:05:17,578 --> 00:05:18,796 The most technology I know 157 00:05:18,840 --> 00:05:21,364 how to use is my hair curler and my vibrator. 158 00:05:21,408 --> 00:05:23,888 Right? 159 00:05:23,932 --> 00:05:27,849 Mm, but I will figure it out because I'm a professional. 160 00:05:27,892 --> 00:05:31,026 - Great. - Great. 161 00:05:31,069 --> 00:05:33,985 - Great? Oh, my God. 162 00:05:34,029 --> 00:05:37,162 If I was CEO, I would have said "Make it so." 163 00:05:37,206 --> 00:05:38,860 She's so generic. 164 00:05:38,903 --> 00:05:41,558 It's, like, super embarrassing. 165 00:05:41,602 --> 00:05:42,820 ♪ 166 00:05:42,864 --> 00:05:44,300 - So does this self-driving car 167 00:05:44,344 --> 00:05:46,084 actually drive anywhere? 168 00:05:46,128 --> 00:05:49,000 - How do I put this in drive? - It's voice-controlled. 169 00:05:49,044 --> 00:05:52,221 Oh, baby, drive us around the block. 170 00:05:53,178 --> 00:05:56,051 - You're calling it "baby"? Seems a bit misogynistic. 171 00:05:56,094 --> 00:05:57,182 - How is that misogynistic? 172 00:05:57,226 --> 00:05:58,793 - 'Cause you can't call women "baby." 173 00:05:58,836 --> 00:06:00,490 - But it's not a woman. It's a car. 174 00:06:00,534 --> 00:06:01,970 - All cars are women. Everyone knows that. 175 00:06:02,013 --> 00:06:03,928 Like, "She's a beauty. Let's take her for a spin." 176 00:06:03,972 --> 00:06:05,713 - Well, this car is a man, okay? 177 00:06:05,756 --> 00:06:07,932 - Figures, first car to do the driving, 178 00:06:07,976 --> 00:06:09,064 and it's a man. 179 00:06:10,413 --> 00:06:12,720 - Oh, Cyrus, where is the break? 180 00:06:12,763 --> 00:06:14,112 - Don't need one. Watch. 181 00:06:17,725 --> 00:06:19,988 - That's kinda neat. It's like a Roomba. 182 00:06:20,031 --> 00:06:22,686 - Well, not unless your Roomba can create a 3D map of the road 183 00:06:22,730 --> 00:06:26,342 and then uses machine learning algorithms to identify... 184 00:06:26,386 --> 00:06:30,433 but yeah, essentially, it's just like a big Roomba. 185 00:06:30,477 --> 00:06:31,956 - Yeah, it's like a Roomba. 186 00:06:34,785 --> 00:06:36,874 - See our new overlord? 187 00:06:36,918 --> 00:06:38,485 Katherine? 188 00:06:38,528 --> 00:06:41,183 Sounds like someone who uses a catheter. 189 00:06:41,226 --> 00:06:43,011 - Sick burn, man. - Thanks. 190 00:06:43,054 --> 00:06:44,882 Hey, if there's a power struggle, 191 00:06:44,926 --> 00:06:46,231 factory's Team Wesley, right? 192 00:06:46,275 --> 00:06:48,973 - You know, most of us just punch in and out, 193 00:06:49,017 --> 00:06:50,453 don't get involved in that type of thing. 194 00:06:50,497 --> 00:06:53,891 - Got it, neutral. Respect. 195 00:06:53,935 --> 00:06:56,372 But I'm telling you, man, Ewell Payne would not have 196 00:06:56,416 --> 00:06:58,200 wanted that woman running his company. 197 00:06:58,896 --> 00:07:01,029 - Why? Is she Jewish or something? 198 00:07:01,072 --> 00:07:02,552 - Ugh, God. 199 00:07:04,119 --> 00:07:06,382 - Cyrus, there's someone-- - Don't worry, we'll stop. 200 00:07:06,426 --> 00:07:07,731 Just as soon as we-- - Stop it. 201 00:07:07,775 --> 00:07:08,993 - It'll stop. - Stop it. 202 00:07:09,037 --> 00:07:10,386 - There's no break! - Baby, stop! 203 00:07:10,430 --> 00:07:12,214 - Ahh! 204 00:07:12,257 --> 00:07:13,824 Ahh! 205 00:07:16,653 --> 00:07:17,872 - Now, let me put it under your elbow. 206 00:07:17,915 --> 00:07:18,786 It helps with pain. - I'm okay, I'm okay. 207 00:07:18,829 --> 00:07:20,048 They didn't hit me that hard. 208 00:07:20,091 --> 00:07:21,005 - We think we know what caused the accident. 209 00:07:21,049 --> 00:07:22,616 - Alleged accident. - Right. 210 00:07:22,659 --> 00:07:24,400 I may have coincidentally fallen totally on my own. 211 00:07:24,444 --> 00:07:25,532 - Could be. - Okay. 212 00:07:25,575 --> 00:07:27,098 Well, you know how I was saying 213 00:07:27,142 --> 00:07:29,492 that the car identifies objects using machine learning? 214 00:07:29,536 --> 00:07:31,494 Well, the operative word is-- 215 00:07:31,538 --> 00:07:33,191 - Machine. - Learning. 216 00:07:33,235 --> 00:07:35,498 See, it still confuses with dark tones with shadows. 217 00:07:35,542 --> 00:07:40,155 So occasionally, certain darker optics come off as not there. 218 00:07:40,198 --> 00:07:42,200 - And by darker objects, do you mean-- 219 00:07:42,244 --> 00:07:43,985 - Like a black cat, 220 00:07:44,028 --> 00:07:48,685 or a dark blue car, or darker brown skin. 221 00:07:51,688 --> 00:07:53,603 - So you've made a car that hits Black people? 222 00:07:53,647 --> 00:07:57,085 - No, no, no. Not intentionally. 223 00:07:57,128 --> 00:07:58,739 - Oh! - Be your own people. 224 00:07:58,782 --> 00:08:00,218 - What would Ewell Payne have said if he saw 225 00:08:00,262 --> 00:08:02,177 that we designed the world's first racist car? 226 00:08:02,220 --> 00:08:05,093 - "Well done," probably. - The car's not racist. 227 00:08:05,136 --> 00:08:07,661 Race is about a shared culture, history, and traditions. 228 00:08:07,704 --> 00:08:09,445 This just doesn't see darker skin. 229 00:08:09,489 --> 00:08:11,316 It hit Indian folk, too. 230 00:08:11,360 --> 00:08:12,622 - Oh, thank God. 231 00:08:12,666 --> 00:08:13,710 I thought for a moment that we built a car 232 00:08:13,754 --> 00:08:15,190 that wouldn't hit Indian people. 233 00:08:15,233 --> 00:08:16,844 - How are you just figuring this out now? 234 00:08:16,887 --> 00:08:18,236 In the pharmaceutical industry, 235 00:08:18,280 --> 00:08:19,977 we would test a product before we announced it. 236 00:08:20,021 --> 00:08:22,110 - Didn't stop all those babies from being born without heads. 237 00:08:22,153 --> 00:08:23,328 - They had heads. 238 00:08:23,372 --> 00:08:24,765 They just weren't attached to their bodies. 239 00:08:24,808 --> 00:08:26,027 - We tested it, but the cardboard cutout thingies 240 00:08:26,070 --> 00:08:27,550 we tested it on were all white. 241 00:08:27,594 --> 00:08:29,160 - Well, why don't we get 242 00:08:29,204 --> 00:08:30,684 some black cardboard cutout thingies, you know, inclusion? 243 00:08:30,727 --> 00:08:32,947 - Thank you for being an ally. - His words. 244 00:08:32,990 --> 00:08:34,514 - Y'all know what this is, right? 245 00:08:34,557 --> 00:08:36,428 This is white privilege. 246 00:08:36,472 --> 00:08:38,387 When you're white, Band-Aids look good on you. 247 00:08:38,430 --> 00:08:41,085 Hell, even a cheap shampoo at the hotel works for you. 248 00:08:41,129 --> 00:08:42,609 Do y'all know the automatic soap dispensers 249 00:08:42,652 --> 00:08:44,132 in the restrooms don't even work for me? 250 00:08:44,175 --> 00:08:46,830 - Those are push-button. - Say what now? 251 00:08:46,874 --> 00:08:48,005 - They're push-button. 252 00:08:48,049 --> 00:08:49,137 - Just go like this-- - Yeah. 253 00:08:49,180 --> 00:08:50,268 - And they come--okay. - Just press it. 254 00:08:50,312 --> 00:08:51,574 - Well, I've been bringing my own soap, 255 00:08:51,618 --> 00:08:53,184 and I actually like it. 256 00:08:53,228 --> 00:08:54,490 - Okay, we need to figure out how we're gonna handle this. 257 00:08:54,534 --> 00:08:55,491 This presentation is in six hours, 258 00:08:55,535 --> 00:08:56,884 and we can't just cancel it. 259 00:08:56,927 --> 00:08:58,494 - Okay, what if we painted the car black? 260 00:08:58,538 --> 00:08:59,887 Optics-wise, I think 261 00:08:59,930 --> 00:09:02,063 a white car that hits Black people looks worse 262 00:09:02,106 --> 00:09:03,717 than a black car that hits Black people. 263 00:09:03,760 --> 00:09:05,240 - I think any car that targets people 264 00:09:05,283 --> 00:09:07,634 based on their race would look pretty not great. 265 00:09:07,677 --> 00:09:08,765 - Especially since Black Lives Matter. 266 00:09:08,809 --> 00:09:10,332 - To be fair, 267 00:09:10,375 --> 00:09:12,073 it would have been bad before Black Lives Matter, too. 268 00:09:12,116 --> 00:09:13,770 - Right, but like, now we understand that also. 269 00:09:13,814 --> 00:09:15,598 - Okay, the analysts don't know 270 00:09:15,642 --> 00:09:16,599 that the car is self-driving, right? 271 00:09:16,643 --> 00:09:18,166 That's the big reveal? 272 00:09:18,209 --> 00:09:19,428 Okay, so maybe we just think of some other features. 273 00:09:19,471 --> 00:09:20,908 - In six hours? 274 00:09:20,951 --> 00:09:22,431 - I'm sure nothing will be as innovative and exciting 275 00:09:22,474 --> 00:09:23,998 as your Klanmobile over there, 276 00:09:24,041 --> 00:09:26,478 but let's not let the perfect be the enemy of the good. 277 00:09:26,522 --> 00:09:28,350 You should come. - Me? 278 00:09:28,393 --> 00:09:29,743 - Him, why? Why him? 279 00:09:29,786 --> 00:09:31,396 - Well, because I would like his perspective. 280 00:09:31,440 --> 00:09:33,790 Plus, we just hit him with a car in a way 281 00:09:33,834 --> 00:09:36,010 that might be perceived as a hate crime. 282 00:09:36,053 --> 00:09:38,360 And so you're part of this now. 283 00:09:38,403 --> 00:09:40,667 - Good, now tell me this, would the car also 284 00:09:40,710 --> 00:09:43,670 hit a white person if they was in blackface? 285 00:09:43,713 --> 00:09:45,628 - Yeah, probably. - Right on! 286 00:09:45,672 --> 00:09:46,934 - Lead with that, say that. 287 00:09:46,977 --> 00:09:48,762 - So it's not all bad. - Silver lining. 288 00:09:48,805 --> 00:09:51,721 [upbeat music] 289 00:09:51,765 --> 00:09:54,724 - How is this my fault? I licensed the AI. 290 00:09:54,768 --> 00:09:56,508 I didn't program it from scratch. 291 00:09:56,552 --> 00:09:57,988 - No one's saying it's your fault. 292 00:09:58,032 --> 00:09:59,642 - But sure, blame the Black guy for systemic racism, 293 00:09:59,686 --> 00:10:02,123 and then ask the Black guy to fix the systemic racism. 294 00:10:02,166 --> 00:10:03,646 Do you know how much pressure that puts on me? 295 00:10:03,690 --> 00:10:04,691 - Is it a lot? 296 00:10:04,734 --> 00:10:06,257 - It is a lot. - Yeah. 297 00:10:06,301 --> 00:10:09,347 - And FYI, I didn't test it on non-white cutouts 298 00:10:09,391 --> 00:10:10,740 'cause we don't have non-white cutouts. 299 00:10:10,784 --> 00:10:12,133 You know why? 300 00:10:12,176 --> 00:10:14,222 - Why? - Because of systemic racism. 301 00:10:14,265 --> 00:10:15,876 - Yeah. 302 00:10:15,919 --> 00:10:17,660 Well, at least you're not being forced to work on a project 303 00:10:17,704 --> 00:10:19,401 with a new boss you're trying to impress 304 00:10:19,444 --> 00:10:22,012 and a subordinate you just had sex with. 305 00:10:22,622 --> 00:10:24,841 - Hot assembly line-guy? - Yeah. 306 00:10:24,885 --> 00:10:27,757 - Shut up, when? - Greg's retirement party. 307 00:10:27,801 --> 00:10:30,281 I'd had a few drinks, and he's very attractive. 308 00:10:30,325 --> 00:10:32,675 Katherine already thinks I'm some car-obsessed fangirl. 309 00:10:32,719 --> 00:10:35,025 Now she's also gonna think I can't keep my pants on at work. 310 00:10:35,069 --> 00:10:37,288 - Look, there's like 15,000 people who work here. 311 00:10:37,332 --> 00:10:39,377 After today, he'll go back to the line. 312 00:10:39,421 --> 00:10:40,770 She's never gonna find out. 313 00:10:40,814 --> 00:10:42,467 - I never even flirt with coworkers. 314 00:10:42,511 --> 00:10:44,165 The one time I make a mistake, 315 00:10:44,208 --> 00:10:45,949 and I'm stuck with it forever like herpes. 316 00:10:45,993 --> 00:10:47,603 - A lot of people have herpes. 317 00:10:47,647 --> 00:10:48,822 It's not that big a deal anymore. 318 00:10:48,865 --> 00:10:50,084 - What? He didn't give me herpes. 319 00:10:50,127 --> 00:10:51,433 - Who'd you get it from then? 320 00:10:51,476 --> 00:10:53,087 - Okay, so what about if we had a second horn 321 00:10:53,130 --> 00:10:54,305 that's like a polite horn. 322 00:10:54,349 --> 00:10:56,873 So the first horn is like, "Rrrrh!" 323 00:10:56,917 --> 00:10:58,396 Like, "I hate you." 324 00:10:58,440 --> 00:11:01,443 But then the second horn is, like, "eeh." 325 00:11:01,486 --> 00:11:03,793 Like, "Excuse me, the light is green." 326 00:11:03,837 --> 00:11:05,055 Right? 327 00:11:05,099 --> 00:11:06,840 - I'm just not sure polite horn counts 328 00:11:06,883 --> 00:11:08,145 as the car of the future. 329 00:11:08,189 --> 00:11:09,538 - Okay, well, maybe we should 330 00:11:09,581 --> 00:11:10,844 still write it down so we don't forget it. 331 00:11:10,887 --> 00:11:12,149 - What about some sort of safety feature? 332 00:11:12,193 --> 00:11:13,760 - I think you figured it out. 333 00:11:13,803 --> 00:11:16,327 The all-new Payne featuring a safety feature. 334 00:11:16,371 --> 00:11:18,634 - All right, guys, I think we need to step back 335 00:11:18,678 --> 00:11:21,942 and ask ourself what do people like about cars? 336 00:11:21,985 --> 00:11:23,987 - You don't like cars? - I mean, they're fine. 337 00:11:24,031 --> 00:11:25,772 Sometimes I'm in a place, and I need to go 338 00:11:25,815 --> 00:11:27,512 to another place, and cars help me do that. 339 00:11:27,556 --> 00:11:28,818 - What? 340 00:11:28,862 --> 00:11:31,038 - Cars are where form meets function. 341 00:11:31,081 --> 00:11:33,214 Name one other thing that's utilitarian 342 00:11:33,257 --> 00:11:35,607 while at the same time, a fashion accessory, 343 00:11:35,651 --> 00:11:37,827 a status symbol, and a work of art. 344 00:11:37,871 --> 00:11:39,350 - A wristwatch. 345 00:11:39,394 --> 00:11:40,874 - Uh-huh. That would be another one. 346 00:11:40,917 --> 00:11:43,398 - Okay, for me, a car is about freedom. 347 00:11:43,441 --> 00:11:45,748 Once you get in that thing, you can go anywhere you want. 348 00:11:45,792 --> 00:11:48,098 - You've literally never left Detroit in your entire life. 349 00:11:48,142 --> 00:11:49,752 - Now, why would I wanna leave Detroit, Sadie? 350 00:11:49,796 --> 00:11:51,058 I just got Wi-Fi. 351 00:11:51,101 --> 00:11:52,320 - Okay, when people are buying cars, 352 00:11:52,363 --> 00:11:53,582 they look at a bunch of different factors. 353 00:11:53,625 --> 00:11:55,976 There's fuel economy, safety, price, comfort-- 354 00:11:56,019 --> 00:11:58,326 - Can I just say like as a regular guy 355 00:11:58,369 --> 00:12:00,328 who didn't go to business school 356 00:12:00,371 --> 00:12:02,722 or anything like that, I like cars 'cause they're cool. 357 00:12:02,765 --> 00:12:04,419 That is it. They look cool. 358 00:12:04,462 --> 00:12:06,116 They sound cool. They are fun to drive. 359 00:12:06,160 --> 00:12:07,901 That's why I don't get why anybody ever 360 00:12:07,944 --> 00:12:10,599 in their right mind would want a self-driving car. 361 00:12:10,642 --> 00:12:12,514 Driving is just fun. 362 00:12:14,037 --> 00:12:15,909 - Well, someone's cuckoo for car-nuts. 363 00:12:15,952 --> 00:12:17,954 - You like cars as much as I do. 364 00:12:17,998 --> 00:12:19,390 - Not really, I don't know why you'd say that. 365 00:12:19,434 --> 00:12:21,044 - Well, because you got Ferrari bedsheets 366 00:12:21,088 --> 00:12:22,524 and a showerhead that's shaped like a fuel nozzle. 367 00:12:22,567 --> 00:12:24,265 [all gasp] - Shut up, shut up, shut up! 368 00:12:24,308 --> 00:12:25,657 - [laughs] 369 00:12:25,701 --> 00:12:28,095 - Now, how you know what her showerhead looks like? 370 00:12:28,138 --> 00:12:30,271 - "Sexy Sadie," new nickname, boom! 371 00:12:30,314 --> 00:12:31,620 I'm the best at nicknames. - Hey, hey. 372 00:12:31,663 --> 00:12:33,274 So should we get back to the car we're supposed 373 00:12:33,317 --> 00:12:35,276 to have redesigned and produced in roughly five hours? 374 00:12:35,319 --> 00:12:38,932 - Right, thank you. Okay, new approach. 375 00:12:38,975 --> 00:12:41,064 In pharma, let's say that the patent 376 00:12:41,108 --> 00:12:42,892 on your big pain pill is about to expire. 377 00:12:42,936 --> 00:12:44,807 Well, constipated people get pain, too. 378 00:12:44,851 --> 00:12:47,114 So you mix a little poop meds in with your pain pill, 379 00:12:47,157 --> 00:12:48,463 and next thing you know, 380 00:12:48,506 --> 00:12:50,987 Rasputinol is making $1.6 billion. 381 00:12:51,031 --> 00:12:52,684 - I used to snort Rasputinol. - Everyone did. 382 00:12:52,728 --> 00:12:54,077 That's why it grossed 1.6. 383 00:12:54,121 --> 00:12:57,689 - So you just wanna combine like a bunch of cars? 384 00:12:57,733 --> 00:12:58,995 - Well, no. 385 00:12:59,039 --> 00:13:00,605 I mean, not whole cars, just the best parts. 386 00:13:00,649 --> 00:13:02,999 - Ooh, like an all-star team. - Or like the Avengers. 387 00:13:03,043 --> 00:13:04,261 - Yeah, I mean, I don't know how many metaphors 388 00:13:04,305 --> 00:13:05,393 that we need to say to explain this. 389 00:13:05,436 --> 00:13:06,437 - Frankenstein. 390 00:13:06,481 --> 00:13:07,743 - So where are all 391 00:13:07,787 --> 00:13:09,266 these random car parts supposed to come from? 392 00:13:11,268 --> 00:13:13,140 - These are the employees' cars. 393 00:13:13,183 --> 00:13:14,924 - Which they brought onto company property. 394 00:13:14,968 --> 00:13:16,186 You can do whatever you want to something 395 00:13:16,230 --> 00:13:17,797 if it's on your property. 396 00:13:17,840 --> 00:13:19,189 - Legally speaking, that's not-- 397 00:13:19,233 --> 00:13:20,887 - All right, everybody. Let's go make a car. 398 00:13:20,930 --> 00:13:22,671 Come on. 399 00:13:22,714 --> 00:13:26,936 [Bruce Springsteen's "Working on the Highway"] 400 00:13:26,980 --> 00:13:28,546 I like the two lights on this. 401 00:13:28,590 --> 00:13:31,506 - Good to know. Yeah, we can do that. 402 00:13:31,549 --> 00:13:33,682 - ♪ Friday night's pay night, guys fresh out of work ♪ 403 00:13:33,725 --> 00:13:36,728 - No, no, no. 404 00:13:36,772 --> 00:13:38,165 - ♪ Heading home to their families ♪ 405 00:13:38,208 --> 00:13:40,080 ♪ Some are looking to get hurt ♪ 406 00:13:40,123 --> 00:13:42,647 - There's gotta be a manual or something. 407 00:13:42,691 --> 00:13:45,825 - ♪ Wearing trouble on their shirts ♪ 408 00:13:45,868 --> 00:13:48,001 - Like a screw or a bolt? 409 00:13:48,044 --> 00:13:51,787 ♪ 410 00:13:51,831 --> 00:13:53,876 - Here you go. - Oh. 411 00:13:53,920 --> 00:13:55,269 - You just pull these out! 412 00:13:55,312 --> 00:13:56,966 Guys, just pull these right out. 413 00:13:57,010 --> 00:14:01,318 - [grunting] 414 00:14:01,362 --> 00:14:03,407 - ♪ All day long I don't stop ♪ 415 00:14:03,451 --> 00:14:05,366 - Oh. 416 00:14:05,409 --> 00:14:08,282 Sorry, there's a child, sleeping child. 417 00:14:08,325 --> 00:14:09,979 - No. 418 00:14:10,023 --> 00:14:13,417 Yes, please. [grunts] 419 00:14:13,461 --> 00:14:15,202 Oh, that's nicer. 420 00:14:15,245 --> 00:14:17,552 - You've been to 722 raves, 421 00:14:17,595 --> 00:14:19,554 and you ain't picked up nothing about lights? 422 00:14:19,597 --> 00:14:23,471 - ♪ I met her at a dance down at the union hall ♪ 423 00:14:23,514 --> 00:14:25,603 - This looks nice. 424 00:14:25,647 --> 00:14:27,431 - Hey, don't take their dry-cleaning. 425 00:14:27,475 --> 00:14:29,869 - I wasn't. I'm just looking. 426 00:14:29,912 --> 00:14:32,567 - ♪ Sometimes we'd go walking down the union tracks ♪ 427 00:14:32,610 --> 00:14:38,616 - There's a child here. Anyone's child--small boy. 428 00:14:38,660 --> 00:14:42,229 - What are you doing to my car? - I'm stealing your hubcaps. 429 00:14:42,272 --> 00:14:44,057 It's fine. I'm the new CEO. 430 00:14:44,100 --> 00:14:46,059 - ♪ Working on the highway 431 00:14:48,975 --> 00:14:51,542 - Hey, could you give me a hand? 432 00:14:51,586 --> 00:14:53,066 Only take a sec. 433 00:14:57,418 --> 00:14:58,985 - What do you need? 434 00:14:59,028 --> 00:15:00,551 - Just hold this here while I try to bolt it. 435 00:15:00,595 --> 00:15:01,857 - Yep, fine. 436 00:15:01,901 --> 00:15:03,424 - Just--yeah, right there. 437 00:15:03,467 --> 00:15:05,078 - This here? - Yeah, like right here. 438 00:15:05,121 --> 00:15:06,688 - Okay, sure. - Yeah, hold that in. 439 00:15:06,731 --> 00:15:08,516 - Oh. - Mm-hmm, yeah. 440 00:15:08,559 --> 00:15:10,300 - Just in there? - Yeah, like right there. 441 00:15:10,344 --> 00:15:11,911 - Okay. - Nice support. 442 00:15:16,959 --> 00:15:19,788 So in retrospect, I think talking 443 00:15:19,831 --> 00:15:22,095 about what your bedsheets looked like, 444 00:15:22,138 --> 00:15:24,619 yeah, that might've been a mistake. 445 00:15:24,662 --> 00:15:26,664 - It wasn't ideal. 446 00:15:27,752 --> 00:15:31,800 - I'm sorry. I would never--I'm sorry. 447 00:15:34,237 --> 00:15:36,457 - It's okay. 448 00:15:40,026 --> 00:15:41,679 - Hey, guys. 449 00:15:41,723 --> 00:15:43,464 - Hey. - I just-- 450 00:15:43,507 --> 00:15:45,770 - It should go without saying, but don't bang in here, okay? 451 00:15:45,814 --> 00:15:46,989 - Oh, no-- - No, no, that's not--we-- 452 00:15:47,033 --> 00:15:48,295 - I would never. 453 00:15:48,338 --> 00:15:49,861 - You can bang in here later. 454 00:15:49,905 --> 00:15:51,776 It's not a problem for me. It's just, show's in an hour. 455 00:15:51,820 --> 00:15:54,692 So no banging now. I'm not a prude. 456 00:15:54,736 --> 00:15:57,652 [upbeat music] 457 00:15:57,695 --> 00:15:59,959 - Thank you all so much for coming tonight. 458 00:16:00,002 --> 00:16:03,788 I have been asked to introduce our new female CEO. 459 00:16:03,832 --> 00:16:07,183 - Is it good? I can't tell. 460 00:16:07,227 --> 00:16:09,838 - It is interesting. 461 00:16:09,881 --> 00:16:11,840 - Yep, I mean, it's eclectic. 462 00:16:11,883 --> 00:16:16,976 It's got a sort of bohemian/rococo/steampunk vibe. 463 00:16:17,019 --> 00:16:18,629 - I'm not sure it's something I'd drive, 464 00:16:18,673 --> 00:16:20,457 but you definitely have a car. 465 00:16:20,501 --> 00:16:22,459 - What do you think? 466 00:16:22,503 --> 00:16:24,984 - How do I put this? 467 00:16:25,027 --> 00:16:28,378 It looks like something Bjork would drive to the Oscars. 468 00:16:28,422 --> 00:16:30,119 Mm-mm, scratch that. 469 00:16:30,163 --> 00:16:33,731 It looks like if Bjork were driving to the Oscars 470 00:16:33,775 --> 00:16:35,820 and got into a head-on collision with Blossom 471 00:16:35,864 --> 00:16:37,387 on the way to prom, 472 00:16:37,431 --> 00:16:40,303 and then the car was reassembled by a blind villager 473 00:16:40,347 --> 00:16:43,959 from a tribe that had never seen technology 474 00:16:44,003 --> 00:16:48,790 and a spider on LSD who also had bad taste. 475 00:16:53,055 --> 00:16:55,231 - Well, at least it's not racist. 476 00:16:58,887 --> 00:17:01,150 - Now, a number of you might be wondering 477 00:17:01,194 --> 00:17:02,891 why the board put this woman in charge 478 00:17:02,934 --> 00:17:05,763 when Paynes have been running Payne Motors successfully 479 00:17:05,807 --> 00:17:07,896 for over 100 years. 480 00:17:09,115 --> 00:17:10,638 Thank you. 481 00:17:10,681 --> 00:17:15,208 [applause] 482 00:17:15,251 --> 00:17:17,166 [laughs] 483 00:17:17,210 --> 00:17:18,472 - Thank you, Wesley. 484 00:17:18,515 --> 00:17:20,126 It's good stuff to think about... 485 00:17:20,169 --> 00:17:22,954 - Just unplug this 'cause I'ma keep my job. 486 00:17:22,998 --> 00:17:26,741 - I am honored to get to present the Ponderosa 487 00:17:26,784 --> 00:17:28,308 to all of you today. 488 00:17:28,351 --> 00:17:33,182 But I am a bit embarrassed because truth is, 489 00:17:33,226 --> 00:17:37,012 it was developed before I started at the company. 490 00:17:37,056 --> 00:17:39,145 Honestly, and this is not false modesty, 491 00:17:39,188 --> 00:17:41,103 I had nothing to do with this car. 492 00:17:41,147 --> 00:17:42,583 - Not a natural speaker, is she? 493 00:17:42,626 --> 00:17:43,932 - So ladies and gentlemen, 494 00:17:43,975 --> 00:17:47,327 the car of the future, the Ponderosa! 495 00:17:50,721 --> 00:17:53,550 [Steppenwolf's "Born to Be Wild"] 496 00:17:53,594 --> 00:17:57,206 ♪ 497 00:17:57,250 --> 00:18:00,470 - Oh, good. We're raising expectations. 498 00:18:00,514 --> 00:18:03,560 - Yes. 499 00:18:03,604 --> 00:18:07,608 - ♪ Get your motor runnin' 500 00:18:07,651 --> 00:18:11,133 ♪ Head out on the highway 501 00:18:11,177 --> 00:18:13,744 ♪ Looking for adventure 502 00:18:13,788 --> 00:18:16,747 ♪ In whatever comes our way 503 00:18:16,791 --> 00:18:20,273 - All right, how about that? 504 00:18:21,665 --> 00:18:25,756 Cyrus, maybe you want to explain your vision to us? 505 00:18:25,800 --> 00:18:27,410 - Oh, no, no, mm-mm, mm-mm. 506 00:18:27,454 --> 00:18:28,933 - Come on, mate, tell them all about your cool car--ow. 507 00:18:28,977 --> 00:18:30,718 - What a beauty, huh? 508 00:18:30,761 --> 00:18:34,896 I believe it was inspired by the platypus. 509 00:18:34,939 --> 00:18:36,115 - Is this what a typical day 510 00:18:36,158 --> 00:18:37,551 in the life of an executive is like? 511 00:18:37,594 --> 00:18:39,509 - Yep, basically. 512 00:18:39,553 --> 00:18:41,163 - I think it is endangered. 513 00:18:41,207 --> 00:18:45,341 - Is it what you expected? - Yep, pretty much it. 514 00:18:45,385 --> 00:18:47,256 At least I got to design my own car. 515 00:18:47,300 --> 00:18:48,605 That was pretty cool. 516 00:18:48,649 --> 00:18:50,564 - Yeah, sure. 517 00:18:50,607 --> 00:18:53,436 Who wouldn't want to design their own car? 518 00:18:53,480 --> 00:18:58,572 - I'm not sure if they live on land or water... 519 00:18:58,615 --> 00:19:00,269 - Excuse me. - Actually. 520 00:19:00,313 --> 00:19:01,792 So it's one of those two. 521 00:19:01,836 --> 00:19:04,969 I don't think it's an air--ah! Anyway, enough from me. 522 00:19:05,013 --> 00:19:10,105 Let me hand it to our director of comm--mark--something, 523 00:19:10,149 --> 00:19:12,238 Sadie...Mc-- 524 00:19:13,674 --> 00:19:14,675 - Thanks. 525 00:19:14,718 --> 00:19:16,372 I just wanted to say 526 00:19:16,416 --> 00:19:19,288 we knew it would be a challenge to create the world's 527 00:19:19,332 --> 00:19:23,292 first-ever modular customizable vehicle 528 00:19:23,336 --> 00:19:26,904 where the buyer chooses the parts themselves 529 00:19:26,948 --> 00:19:31,561 because when everyone gets to design their own car, 530 00:19:31,605 --> 00:19:33,781 sometimes it'll come out great, 531 00:19:33,824 --> 00:19:36,305 and sometimes it'll come out like this. 532 00:19:36,349 --> 00:19:38,873 - Exactly, thank you. I was getting to this. 533 00:19:38,916 --> 00:19:41,267 The point is we're all different. 534 00:19:41,310 --> 00:19:44,618 So our cars will reflect the diversity 535 00:19:44,661 --> 00:19:47,664 of the melting pot that is America, 536 00:19:47,708 --> 00:19:49,797 and also international. 537 00:19:51,277 --> 00:19:53,192 The Ponderosa! 538 00:19:54,323 --> 00:19:57,674 - ♪ Get your motor runnin' 539 00:19:57,718 --> 00:19:59,415 ♪ Head out on the highway 540 00:20:00,199 --> 00:20:03,724 - Now what's the share price? - Hong Kong Exchange is 28 1/4. 541 00:20:03,767 --> 00:20:07,380 - Resign, resign, resign. 542 00:20:07,423 --> 00:20:09,120 I'm just kidding. 543 00:20:09,164 --> 00:20:10,687 - Look, if they'd loved it, 544 00:20:10,731 --> 00:20:11,906 there'd be nowhere to go but down. 545 00:20:11,949 --> 00:20:13,037 It's like in pharma. 546 00:20:13,081 --> 00:20:14,691 You don't start with boner pills. 547 00:20:14,735 --> 00:20:17,303 You start with hypertension, move your way up to boners. 548 00:20:17,346 --> 00:20:20,523 - That's a beautiful sentiment. - Almost poetic. 549 00:20:20,567 --> 00:20:22,133 - Excuse me. 550 00:20:22,177 --> 00:20:23,570 - So would you like to tell us which ethnic minority group 551 00:20:23,613 --> 00:20:25,267 you're gonna be targeting next? 552 00:20:25,311 --> 00:20:28,009 - Do you guys like my jacket? No one said anything about it. 553 00:20:28,052 --> 00:20:30,403 - Hey. - Hey. 554 00:20:31,752 --> 00:20:32,970 - What's with the box? 555 00:20:33,014 --> 00:20:34,537 - Oh, I'm just cleaning out my locker. 556 00:20:34,581 --> 00:20:36,365 - Wait, you're leaving? 557 00:20:36,409 --> 00:20:38,411 If this is about the truck plant thing, 558 00:20:38,454 --> 00:20:39,629 that was just an offer. 559 00:20:39,673 --> 00:20:41,631 Like, you don't have to go. 560 00:20:41,675 --> 00:20:43,807 - Why? You scared you'll miss me? 561 00:20:43,851 --> 00:20:46,245 - Please. 15,000 people work here. 562 00:20:46,288 --> 00:20:48,421 It's not like we'll be running into each other 563 00:20:48,464 --> 00:20:49,509 in the halls, so-- 564 00:20:49,552 --> 00:20:51,902 - Oh, hey just take any open desk. 565 00:20:51,946 --> 00:20:53,861 - Oh, cool, cool. - Wait, what? 566 00:20:53,904 --> 00:20:56,603 What's happening? - Oh, I bumped him upstairs. 567 00:20:56,646 --> 00:20:57,995 It feels like we could use 568 00:20:58,039 --> 00:20:59,736 a little blue-collar perspective up here. 569 00:20:59,780 --> 00:21:03,523 [phone buzzes] Oh, that's my Uber. 570 00:21:03,566 --> 00:21:06,308 I don't know how to drive. 571 00:21:06,352 --> 00:21:08,136 Night. 572 00:21:09,180 --> 00:21:11,182 - Well, I guess we'll be seeing each other occasionally. 573 00:21:15,056 --> 00:21:16,536 It's gonna be fun. 574 00:21:16,579 --> 00:21:18,799 - Yeah. - Yeah. 575 00:21:18,849 --> 00:21:23,399 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 43395

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