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1
00:00:01,171 --> 00:00:03,743
Rel is taped in front
of a live studio audience.
2
00:00:03,744 --> 00:00:06,512
Could you do me a favor?
Could you look at Terry's bumps?
3
00:00:06,513 --> 00:00:07,853
Uh, you know his mom is worried
4
00:00:07,914 --> 00:00:09,749
that she may have to take him
to the hospital,
5
00:00:09,750 --> 00:00:11,550
but she don't know,
so what-what do you think?
6
00:00:11,551 --> 00:00:13,586
Uh, yeah, sure. Hey, Terry,
why don't you show me?
7
00:00:13,587 --> 00:00:17,890
I got one here, three right here,
8
00:00:17,891 --> 00:00:20,626
and I'm not sure
because I can't see them,
9
00:00:20,627 --> 00:00:23,029
but I have a lot on my butt.
10
00:00:23,030 --> 00:00:24,864
Uh, I'll save you some time.
11
00:00:24,865 --> 00:00:26,766
He wants to be Spider-Man
12
00:00:26,767 --> 00:00:30,469
and he's been putting spiders
in his bed so they can bite him.
13
00:00:30,470 --> 00:00:31,871
Terry, why would you do that, okay
14
00:00:31,872 --> 00:00:33,305
That wouldn't even work anyway.
15
00:00:33,306 --> 00:00:35,291
The spider's got to be radioactive.
16
00:00:35,292 --> 00:00:37,249
Good idea, Dad.
17
00:00:37,250 --> 00:00:39,084
I'll put them in the microwave.
18
00:00:39,085 --> 00:00:42,454
Yeah, y-you definitely
shouldn't do that.
19
00:00:42,455 --> 00:00:45,724
You don't know anything,
you evil doctor.
20
00:00:45,725 --> 00:00:48,326
Prepare to be webbed.
21
00:00:50,229 --> 00:00:52,964
All right, let's see who we got here.
22
00:00:52,965 --> 00:00:58,103
Uh... Tommy Smith. 5'11".
Allergic to penicillin.
23
00:00:58,104 --> 00:01:00,672
Oh. You're O negative.
24
00:01:00,673 --> 00:01:02,941
Well, what up, my O negative
blood brother?
25
00:01:02,942 --> 00:01:04,776
What do you mean "blood brother"?
26
00:01:04,777 --> 00:01:06,511
I'm just saying
only seven percent of us
27
00:01:06,512 --> 00:01:08,380
have that blood type.
You know what I mean?
28
00:01:08,381 --> 00:01:11,183
So you got it, I got it,
29
00:01:11,184 --> 00:01:14,052
so you my O negative blood brother.
30
00:01:16,355 --> 00:01:18,590
All right, um...
31
00:01:18,591 --> 00:01:23,028
I see you fainted at the protest
yesterday due to a blood clot.
32
00:01:23,029 --> 00:01:25,697
Man, that's crazy,
them protest was wild yesterday
33
00:01:25,698 --> 00:01:28,800
from what I heard, and they said
a bunch of the alt-right dudes
34
00:01:28,801 --> 00:01:31,803
showed up with the khakis
and the tiki torches.
35
00:01:31,804 --> 00:01:34,005
It's good for you
standing up for your beliefs.
36
00:01:34,006 --> 00:01:35,941
Yeah, I was protesting inequality.
37
00:01:35,942 --> 00:01:37,042
That's great.
38
00:01:38,611 --> 00:01:42,147
And how this country has turned
its back on true nationalists
39
00:01:42,148 --> 00:01:44,783
in favor of a politically
correct global conspiracy.
40
00:01:49,689 --> 00:01:52,524
So you are actually
one of those tiki torch,
41
00:01:52,525 --> 00:01:55,694
khaki-wearing alt-right guys.
42
00:01:55,695 --> 00:01:58,163
How alt-right are you?
43
00:01:58,164 --> 00:02:00,832
This country was founded by
and for the white man
44
00:02:00,833 --> 00:02:04,903
and we need to take it back. ac
45
00:02:04,904 --> 00:02:07,138
Huh?
46
00:02:17,149 --> 00:02:19,251
You know, I've never walked out
on a patient,
47
00:02:19,252 --> 00:02:21,086
but that dude was talking
so crazy, man,
48
00:02:21,087 --> 00:02:22,988
if I ain't leave, I probably
would've stole on him.
49
00:02:22,989 --> 00:02:24,256
But me punching him, man,
50
00:02:24,257 --> 00:02:25,624
like, I would've been doing exactly
51
00:02:25,625 --> 00:02:26,825
what he expected me to do.
52
00:02:26,826 --> 00:02:28,760
Man, who cares what
he expected you to do?
53
00:02:28,761 --> 00:02:30,629
If I'd been you, I would've
grabbed the defibrillator
54
00:02:30,630 --> 00:02:32,931
and defibrillated him. Boom!
55
00:02:36,302 --> 00:02:38,537
Nah, l-l-look, we just playing, bro.
56
00:02:38,538 --> 00:02:42,007
Look, you cannot aggressively
defibrillize the dude, okay?
57
00:02:42,008 --> 00:02:44,676
Like Michelle Obama always says,
"When they go low, we go high."
58
00:02:44,677 --> 00:02:47,846
Oh, no, no, no. We changed that.
59
00:02:47,847 --> 00:02:51,016
"When they go low, we kick 'em."
60
00:02:51,017 --> 00:02:53,652
Look, guys, it's not like
I've never dealt
61
00:02:53,653 --> 00:02:55,687
with a racist before,
but this dude, he was just
62
00:02:55,688 --> 00:02:57,489
real casual about it.
You know what I mean?
63
00:02:57,490 --> 00:02:59,424
Like, he was, he was really one
of the most confident racists
64
00:02:59,425 --> 00:03:00,759
I've ever talked to.
65
00:03:00,760 --> 00:03:02,761
I'm glad racists out in the open.
66
00:03:02,762 --> 00:03:04,529
I mean, for a while,
they was undercover.
67
00:03:04,530 --> 00:03:06,865
You had to trick them, sniff
them out with questions like,
68
00:03:06,866 --> 00:03:08,606
"Hey, man, you like
a mobile quarterback?"
69
00:03:10,036 --> 00:03:12,504
If they said no, racist.
70
00:03:12,505 --> 00:03:15,340
Yeah, like, when everybody says
a pure pocket passer,
71
00:03:15,341 --> 00:03:17,576
it always sound
like white power to me.
72
00:03:17,577 --> 00:03:19,477
Yeah, you know what I'm saying?
Like, look, man,
73
00:03:19,478 --> 00:03:21,713
a racist is always gonna be a racist.
74
00:03:21,714 --> 00:03:24,516
Our job is to make their life
as hard as we can, okay?
75
00:03:24,517 --> 00:03:26,017
So, what you gonna do, Rel?
76
00:03:26,018 --> 00:03:27,986
You gonna put some laxative
in his drink?
77
00:03:27,987 --> 00:03:29,588
Tell him you got the Ebola virus?
78
00:03:29,589 --> 00:03:31,056
It's from Africa,
that'll freak him out.
79
00:03:31,057 --> 00:03:32,657
Or better yet,
80
00:03:32,658 --> 00:03:36,328
paper his room with
all the Kwanzaa decorations.
81
00:03:36,329 --> 00:03:38,730
Dad, I can't do any of that, okay?
82
00:03:38,731 --> 00:03:40,599
And that's not gonna work. I'm...
83
00:03:40,600 --> 00:03:43,234
Look, me just messing with him
or-or just walking out on him,
84
00:03:43,235 --> 00:03:44,803
that's jeopardizing my job.
85
00:03:44,804 --> 00:03:47,205
And that's letting him win
if I do that.
86
00:03:47,206 --> 00:03:49,207
You know what I'm gonna do? I'm
gonna go back down there, right?
87
00:03:49,208 --> 00:03:50,575
And I'm-a do my job so well
88
00:03:50,576 --> 00:03:52,744
he's gonna have no choice
but to respect me.
89
00:03:52,745 --> 00:03:56,014
All right, you do you.
Leave a thermometer in his ass.
90
00:04:00,820 --> 00:04:03,521
Damn, Jake, you deejaying
in the middle of the afternoon?
91
00:04:03,522 --> 00:04:05,423
Yeah, yeah, when a song
this hot drops,
92
00:04:05,424 --> 00:04:07,325
you want to play it all day,
93
00:04:07,326 --> 00:04:09,227
and because it was requested
for a third time,
94
00:04:09,228 --> 00:04:11,029
and it's already my favorite song,
95
00:04:11,030 --> 00:04:14,966
here's "Sprinkle Dinkle,"
the instant classic by Doolock.
96
00:04:14,967 --> 00:04:16,568
♪ Sprinkle, dinkle, doodle ♪
97
00:04:16,569 --> 00:04:18,370
♪ Dettle ice cream ♪
98
00:04:18,371 --> 00:04:19,871
♪ Sprinkle, dinkle, doodle. ♪
99
00:04:21,273 --> 00:04:23,241
Damn, Jake, why the hell
would you do this to me?
100
00:04:23,242 --> 00:04:26,711
It's not my fault you dated
Doolock then dumped him.
101
00:04:26,712 --> 00:04:30,482
If I was you, he'd still be my man.
102
00:04:30,483 --> 00:04:32,150
Listen, he was a terrible boyfriend.
103
00:04:32,151 --> 00:04:34,319
He didn't have a job,
he lived with his sister,
104
00:04:34,320 --> 00:04:37,322
and he would clip his toenails in bed.
105
00:04:37,323 --> 00:04:40,892
And one day I woke up
and one of them was on my face.
106
00:04:40,893 --> 00:04:42,594
I get it, you're filled with regret.
107
00:04:42,595 --> 00:04:44,095
If I had dumped Doolock,
108
00:04:44,096 --> 00:04:47,966
I'd be dead in a ditch someplace
by my own hand.
109
00:04:47,967 --> 00:04:50,869
But I didn't because I know
what a treasure looks like.
110
00:04:50,870 --> 00:04:53,772
So you know what I'm-a do?
I'm-a keep playing this song.
111
00:04:53,773 --> 00:04:55,340
Let's run that back, y'all.
"Sprinkle Dinkle."
112
00:04:55,341 --> 00:04:57,342
♪ Sprinkle, dinkle, doodle ♪
113
00:04:57,343 --> 00:04:58,877
♪ Dettle ice cream ♪
114
00:04:58,878 --> 00:05:01,112
♪ Sprinkle, dinkle, doodle. ♪
115
00:05:01,113 --> 00:05:05,984
Okay, Tommy, it's Rel, your
ebony healthcare professional.
116
00:05:05,985 --> 00:05:07,452
Now, look, I've decided,
117
00:05:07,453 --> 00:05:08,987
even though you suck as a person,
118
00:05:08,988 --> 00:05:10,789
I'm not gonna suck at my job.
Now, sit up.
119
00:05:10,790 --> 00:05:12,657
I'm waiting for a real nurse.
120
00:05:12,658 --> 00:05:14,726
I am your real nurse.
121
00:05:17,263 --> 00:05:20,098
Now take a deep breath.
122
00:05:20,099 --> 00:05:23,134
Now, let it out.
123
00:05:25,271 --> 00:05:28,440
So you gonna just hold your breath?
124
00:05:28,441 --> 00:05:30,942
I'm-a let you know now, man,
you hold your breath, pass out,
125
00:05:30,943 --> 00:05:32,310
I'm-a get paid regardless.
126
00:05:34,780 --> 00:05:36,381
You know, the crazy thing
about you being white,
127
00:05:36,382 --> 00:05:38,416
I can literally see you
losing consciousness.
128
00:05:41,020 --> 00:05:43,722
I mean, you're turning colors
already. Look. Oh, red.
129
00:05:43,723 --> 00:05:46,725
Now you're blue.
130
00:05:46,726 --> 00:05:49,461
You red, white, and blue.
131
00:05:49,462 --> 00:05:52,230
You a whole flag now.
132
00:05:52,231 --> 00:05:54,065
Come on, man, there's no point
in you being angry
133
00:05:54,066 --> 00:05:55,500
and holding your breath.
134
00:05:55,501 --> 00:05:59,404
It's hard to be racist
when you're dead.
135
00:06:02,441 --> 00:06:05,276
Thank you.
136
00:06:05,277 --> 00:06:07,445
How did you get this job, anyway?
137
00:06:07,446 --> 00:06:11,316
Affirmative action?
138
00:06:11,317 --> 00:06:14,452
Well, matter of fact, bruh, I
got a perfect score on my NCLEX,
139
00:06:14,453 --> 00:06:16,454
and guess what I school went to?
140
00:06:16,455 --> 00:06:17,956
Malcolm X College.
141
00:06:20,459 --> 00:06:25,363
So, that's what's gonna happen?
What's next?
142
00:06:25,364 --> 00:06:28,266
Gonna make me apologize for
slavery for the thousandth time?
143
00:06:28,267 --> 00:06:31,436
Nah, you don't actually
have to apologize.
144
00:06:31,437 --> 00:06:33,171
I mean, from looking at you,
145
00:06:33,172 --> 00:06:35,312
your ancestors probably
couldn't even afford slaves.
146
00:06:38,277 --> 00:06:39,677
But look...
147
00:06:39,678 --> 00:06:42,914
What is that? What is that sign?
148
00:06:42,915 --> 00:06:45,850
Is that the racist Bat-Signal?
149
00:06:45,851 --> 00:06:49,254
Well, you guys have
gang signals, why can't we?
150
00:06:49,255 --> 00:06:50,922
You know, y'all be killing me
151
00:06:50,923 --> 00:06:52,791
thinking all black people
in gangs. I'm a nurse.
152
00:06:52,792 --> 00:06:55,460
I can't gangbang a nurse.
That don't make sense.
153
00:06:55,461 --> 00:06:56,895
Now, let me tell you this,
154
00:06:56,896 --> 00:06:58,530
you guys are the craziest
gang out here,
155
00:06:58,531 --> 00:07:00,231
and you don't even have
good gang colors.
156
00:07:00,232 --> 00:07:02,000
What gang wear khakis?
But you know something?
157
00:07:02,001 --> 00:07:03,935
I'm not, I'm not gonna do all that.
158
00:07:03,936 --> 00:07:06,404
I came here to do my job,
and that's what I'm-a do.
159
00:07:06,405 --> 00:07:10,108
- That's right.
- The hell is that?
160
00:07:10,109 --> 00:07:11,876
It's a catheter.
161
00:07:11,877 --> 00:07:14,045
Uh, you know, you gonna be under
the anesthesia for a while,
162
00:07:14,046 --> 00:07:16,214
so, you know, I got to put this
in your urethra.
163
00:07:17,883 --> 00:07:20,718
Oh, you don't know what that is
164
00:07:20,719 --> 00:07:25,690
with your very smart
white supremacist mind.
165
00:07:25,691 --> 00:07:27,725
Well, it's basically your pee hole.
166
00:07:27,726 --> 00:07:31,362
I want a qualified nurse to do this.
167
00:07:31,363 --> 00:07:34,599
So by qualified do you mean white?
168
00:07:34,600 --> 00:07:36,100
Oh, okay. Well...
169
00:07:36,101 --> 00:07:37,402
See, you ain't never been here before.
170
00:07:37,403 --> 00:07:38,770
You know, we only got, like,
171
00:07:38,771 --> 00:07:40,271
one white nurse that's on this floor,
172
00:07:40,272 --> 00:07:41,906
and, uh, she's not, uh,
173
00:07:41,907 --> 00:07:43,308
she's not really steady with her hands
174
00:07:43,309 --> 00:07:44,976
when it come to a catheter.
175
00:07:44,977 --> 00:07:46,917
That's right, we call her
"Butterfinger Becky."
176
00:07:48,781 --> 00:07:51,149
- Is she white?
- Yup.
177
00:07:51,150 --> 00:07:53,017
Then I would like her to do this.
178
00:07:53,018 --> 00:07:56,120
Man, your racist body,
your racist choice.
179
00:07:58,357 --> 00:07:59,824
- Becky.
- Yes.
180
00:07:59,825 --> 00:08:00,992
Could you come help me real quick?
181
00:08:00,993 --> 00:08:02,227
Yeah, yeah, of course.
182
00:08:02,228 --> 00:08:04,562
As I predicted,
183
00:08:04,563 --> 00:08:07,465
this patient here would want you
to do the catheter insertion.
184
00:08:07,466 --> 00:08:09,634
- Damn.
- Yup.
185
00:08:09,635 --> 00:08:11,336
O-Okay.
186
00:08:11,337 --> 00:08:12,904
You got this, go ahead.
187
00:08:12,905 --> 00:08:14,839
Oh, my God. Okay.
188
00:08:14,840 --> 00:08:17,175
Okay, wow!
189
00:08:17,176 --> 00:08:20,411
Okay. Yay.
190
00:08:20,412 --> 00:08:23,982
- I'll be outside.
- Okay. Um...
191
00:08:23,983 --> 00:08:26,251
- So...
- No, no, no! Wait, wait, wait, wait!
192
00:08:26,252 --> 00:08:28,119
No, no! Oh, whoa, oh, whoa,
whoa, whoa, whoa!
193
00:08:28,120 --> 00:08:31,189
Stop, stop, stop! Oh, oh, stop!
194
00:08:31,190 --> 00:08:35,159
Oh, whoa, hey, hey,
what's all the commotion, huh?
195
00:08:35,160 --> 00:08:36,995
Is everything okay in here?
196
00:08:36,996 --> 00:08:41,666
Well, I-I may have tried to go
a little too fast, or too slow.
197
00:08:41,667 --> 00:08:45,370
I'm not sure. Either way,
it-it didn't make it in.
198
00:08:45,371 --> 00:08:47,038
You know something, I'm...
199
00:08:47,039 --> 00:08:48,640
I would help you, but you know...
200
00:08:48,641 --> 00:08:50,341
You said you wanted
201
00:08:50,342 --> 00:08:52,377
a very qualified white nurse;
well, you got her.
202
00:08:52,378 --> 00:08:54,145
No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
203
00:08:54,146 --> 00:08:57,749
Just... Nurse Rel, will you,
will you do it?
204
00:08:57,750 --> 00:09:01,619
I'd do it, Tommy, if you say please.
205
00:09:01,620 --> 00:09:03,187
Please?
206
00:09:03,188 --> 00:09:04,856
Okay.
207
00:09:06,859 --> 00:09:09,794
I got one more request,
though, brother.
208
00:09:09,795 --> 00:09:11,462
Could you put your fist up like this
209
00:09:11,463 --> 00:09:13,598
and say, "Black Lives Matter"?
210
00:09:19,355 --> 00:09:22,036
We'll put a tiny camera
down your esophagus
211
00:09:22,037 --> 00:09:24,849
and then we'll put a coiled hose
through your neck artery
212
00:09:24,850 --> 00:09:27,052
and thread the other end
through a vein at the groin
213
00:09:27,053 --> 00:09:29,254
and suction out the blood clot.
Any questions?
214
00:09:29,255 --> 00:09:31,456
U-Um, no.
215
00:09:31,457 --> 00:09:34,025
Okay, great. See you in the OR.
216
00:09:34,026 --> 00:09:37,362
All right, is there any problems
with the catheter?
217
00:09:37,363 --> 00:09:39,397
No, I'm-I'm... I'm okay.
218
00:09:41,700 --> 00:09:45,303
Okay. Look, even though
your a racist...
219
00:09:46,806 --> 00:09:48,506
I can see that you're scared, right?
220
00:09:48,507 --> 00:09:50,341
And it's my job to comfort you,
you know that?
221
00:09:50,342 --> 00:09:53,645
Look, have you ever...
had surgery before?
222
00:09:53,646 --> 00:09:56,014
No, I-I haven't even been in
a hospital since middle school
223
00:09:56,015 --> 00:09:58,083
when I burned myself
sitting in front of a lamp
224
00:09:58,084 --> 00:09:59,517
'cause I thought it had gamma rays
225
00:09:59,518 --> 00:10:01,186
and it would turn me into the Hulk.
226
00:10:01,187 --> 00:10:03,455
You know what's crazy?
227
00:10:03,456 --> 00:10:05,190
My son kind of did the same thing.
228
00:10:05,191 --> 00:10:07,592
He got a bunch of spiders
and put them in his bed
229
00:10:07,593 --> 00:10:08,993
so they could bite him,
230
00:10:08,994 --> 00:10:10,962
thinking it would turn him
into Spider-Man.
231
00:10:10,963 --> 00:10:12,764
That doesn't work.
232
00:10:12,765 --> 00:10:14,799
Wait, you did the same thing, too?
233
00:10:14,800 --> 00:10:17,435
Yeah, I mean, who doesn't
want to be Spider-Man?
234
00:10:19,738 --> 00:10:21,739
Look, man, you don't have
nothing to worry about, okay?
235
00:10:21,740 --> 00:10:23,174
Surgery is gonna be okay.
236
00:10:23,175 --> 00:10:25,176
- All right?
- Okay.
237
00:10:25,177 --> 00:10:28,079
Spider-Man.
238
00:10:32,251 --> 00:10:34,085
All right, y'all, I want to
thank you y'all for coming out
239
00:10:34,086 --> 00:10:35,520
to the first ice cream happy hour
240
00:10:35,521 --> 00:10:37,255
in honor of "Sprinkle Dinkle."
241
00:10:40,159 --> 00:10:42,427
Man, Brit, you lost out.
242
00:10:42,428 --> 00:10:44,562
Doolock's the new king
of the West Side.
243
00:10:44,563 --> 00:10:45,830
First of all, you can't have a city
244
00:10:45,831 --> 00:10:47,928
- run by some rapper named Doolock.
- Right.
245
00:10:47,929 --> 00:10:49,000
You got a city with all
the men running around
246
00:10:49,001 --> 00:10:51,202
with grills in their mouth
and chains around their neck,
247
00:10:51,203 --> 00:10:52,937
and you got the female
police officers twerking
248
00:10:52,938 --> 00:10:54,472
when they're trying
to write you a ticket.
249
00:10:54,473 --> 00:10:57,275
Man, that sounds amazing to me.
250
00:10:57,276 --> 00:10:59,410
Look, this whole generation is lost.
251
00:10:59,411 --> 00:11:01,479
At least you got some sense, Milt.
252
00:11:01,480 --> 00:11:04,315
There you go, playboy.
Sprinkle Dinkle.
253
00:11:06,685 --> 00:11:08,586
What the hell is everybody doing?
254
00:11:08,587 --> 00:11:11,222
They getting ready for the
Sprinkle Dinkle dance challenge.
255
00:11:11,223 --> 00:11:13,491
My man Doolock asked people
to submit videos
256
00:11:13,492 --> 00:11:15,593
of them sprinkling and dinkling.
257
00:11:17,363 --> 00:11:19,664
I'm sick of this.
Who made this dance up?
258
00:11:19,665 --> 00:11:21,666
It look like everybody ran out
of paper towels,
259
00:11:21,667 --> 00:11:23,201
so they air-drying their hands.
260
00:11:23,202 --> 00:11:25,069
Oh, you got to see it done with music.
261
00:11:25,070 --> 00:11:27,405
- No, Jake, don't play it...
- ♪ Sprinkle, dinkle, doodle ♪
262
00:11:27,406 --> 00:11:28,740
♪ Dettle ice cream ♪
263
00:11:28,741 --> 00:11:30,475
♪ Sprinkle, dinkle, doodle ♪
264
00:11:30,476 --> 00:11:32,577
♪ Dettle ice cream... ♪
265
00:11:32,578 --> 00:11:34,546
What are you doing?
266
00:11:34,547 --> 00:11:36,781
I don't know, Brittany.
I just... I like it.
267
00:11:36,782 --> 00:11:37,982
But you're supposed to be on my side.
268
00:11:37,983 --> 00:11:40,118
I am, but look... it's-it's just fun.
269
00:11:40,119 --> 00:11:41,419
♪ Sprinkle, dinkle. ♪
270
00:11:41,420 --> 00:11:43,321
♪ Doolock,
I'm gonna put these streets... ♪
271
00:11:43,322 --> 00:11:46,057
All right, y'all, I got a little
surprise for y'all.
272
00:11:46,058 --> 00:11:48,393
My man Doolock is in the building.
273
00:11:48,394 --> 00:11:51,095
Oh, yeah. I see y'all.
274
00:11:51,096 --> 00:11:53,264
It's me in the flesh.
275
00:11:53,265 --> 00:11:55,233
Sprinkle Dinkle, y'all.
276
00:11:55,234 --> 00:12:00,305
Hey. Oh, oh, oh, oh, wait a minute.
277
00:12:00,306 --> 00:12:02,807
Brittany, is that you?
278
00:12:02,808 --> 00:12:05,076
Mm, mm, mm.
279
00:12:05,077 --> 00:12:06,778
Still got it, too.
280
00:12:06,779 --> 00:12:08,813
Hey, y'all. Do y'all who this is?
281
00:12:08,814 --> 00:12:11,082
This is my ex-boo.
You know what I mean?
282
00:12:11,083 --> 00:12:13,818
My ex-boo thang.
283
00:12:13,819 --> 00:12:16,321
You know, some people may say
she the one that got away.
284
00:12:16,322 --> 00:12:18,957
It's all good.
'Cause they always come back.
285
00:12:18,958 --> 00:12:21,960
Boy, I'm not here for you, Carl.
286
00:12:21,961 --> 00:12:23,795
It look like you threw a dead raccoon
287
00:12:23,796 --> 00:12:25,964
over top of the "Thriller" jacket.
288
00:12:25,965 --> 00:12:29,500
Uh... ha, ha, ha.
289
00:12:29,501 --> 00:12:30,935
You know what I'm saying?
290
00:12:30,936 --> 00:12:32,370
She over here trying
to make jokes and stuff.
291
00:12:32,371 --> 00:12:34,172
Ha. It's all good. You know?
292
00:12:34,173 --> 00:12:36,608
'Cause my name ain't Carl,
you know what I mean?
293
00:12:36,609 --> 00:12:38,509
Trying to make a fool-lock
out of Doolock. I see.
294
00:12:38,510 --> 00:12:39,877
That's your plan, huh?
295
00:12:39,878 --> 00:12:41,779
Let me ask you a question.
296
00:12:41,780 --> 00:12:44,983
- Still designing clothes?
- Yep.
297
00:12:44,984 --> 00:12:47,452
Doolock got his own clothing line.
298
00:12:47,453 --> 00:12:48,953
And what you don't realize is, boo,
299
00:12:48,954 --> 00:12:50,722
this could have been both of us. Huh?
300
00:12:50,723 --> 00:12:53,191
We could have been a power
couple. All this could be yours.
301
00:12:53,192 --> 00:12:57,061
Couple manicures, his and her furs,
302
00:12:57,062 --> 00:13:01,733
twin garages, swimming lessons.
303
00:13:01,734 --> 00:13:03,735
Im-a backstroke by my damn self.
304
00:13:03,736 --> 00:13:07,272
That's right, 'cause Doolock
is single and ready to sprinkle.
305
00:13:07,273 --> 00:13:08,506
Let's do this, y'all!
306
00:13:08,507 --> 00:13:10,508
Oh, lady.
307
00:13:10,509 --> 00:13:13,611
♪ Sprinkle, dinkle, doodle
308
00:13:13,612 --> 00:13:15,546
♪ Dettle ice cream
309
00:13:15,547 --> 00:13:17,382
♪ Sprinkle, dinkle, doodle...
310
00:13:17,383 --> 00:13:20,184
First, it was a song, then a dance
311
00:13:20,185 --> 00:13:21,986
and now he got his own clothing line.
312
00:13:21,987 --> 00:13:25,690
And nobody hates it but me.
I need you to hate it with me.
313
00:13:25,691 --> 00:13:28,493
Okay, Brittany, you can't text
me and say it's an emergency
314
00:13:28,494 --> 00:13:30,128
when you just jealous
of your ex-boyfriend.
315
00:13:30,129 --> 00:13:33,031
First of all,
ain't nobody jealous of him.
316
00:13:33,032 --> 00:13:36,067
But, look, this Sprinkle Dinkle
craze is worse than cancer, Rel.
317
00:13:36,068 --> 00:13:41,339
There's a few people on this
floor that'll beg to differ.
318
00:13:41,340 --> 00:13:42,940
Don't tell me how to feel, okay?
319
00:13:42,941 --> 00:13:44,275
I just need you to be my friend
320
00:13:44,276 --> 00:13:46,411
and hate Sprinkle Dinkle with me.
321
00:13:46,412 --> 00:13:49,881
Or you could let go of that hate.
322
00:13:49,882 --> 00:13:51,582
Let me tell you, today,
I've been, like,
323
00:13:51,583 --> 00:13:54,052
changing over this racist
patient I have, right?
324
00:13:54,053 --> 00:13:56,387
He started out really negative,
but I'm really getting to him.
325
00:13:56,388 --> 00:14:00,224
I think when he leave here,
he gonna download SoulSwipe.
326
00:14:00,225 --> 00:14:01,526
See, Brittany,
what you got to do is...
327
00:14:01,527 --> 00:14:02,860
Look, great for you
and your racist, Rel.
328
00:14:02,861 --> 00:14:05,530
Great. But I don't need
a lesson right now.
329
00:14:05,531 --> 00:14:07,699
I just need a partner in hate.
330
00:14:07,700 --> 00:14:11,135
All right, look, you my friend.
331
00:14:11,136 --> 00:14:13,538
I guess I hate the song, too.
332
00:14:13,539 --> 00:14:16,407
- Yes, thank you.
- ♪ Sprinkle, dinkle, doodle ♪
333
00:14:16,408 --> 00:14:18,276
♪ Dettle ice cream ♪
334
00:14:18,277 --> 00:14:20,011
♪ Sprinkle, dinkle, doodle ♪
335
00:14:20,012 --> 00:14:21,913
♪ Dettle ice cream ♪
336
00:14:21,914 --> 00:14:23,748
♪ Sprinkle, dinkle, doodle ♪
337
00:14:23,749 --> 00:14:25,583
♪ Dettle ice cream... ♪
338
00:14:25,584 --> 00:14:27,118
Really?
339
00:14:27,119 --> 00:14:28,586
I'm just saying, it's really catchy,
340
00:14:28,587 --> 00:14:30,421
and it's got a nice beat to it.
It's really dope.
341
00:14:30,422 --> 00:14:32,223
♪ And when I hit the streets,
all you hear is pop, pop ♪
342
00:14:32,224 --> 00:14:34,292
♪ I make a girl scream
"More ice cream"... ♪
343
00:14:41,033 --> 00:14:43,067
Hey, Tommy. How are you feeling
344
00:14:43,068 --> 00:14:45,570
Good. Just very tired.
345
00:14:45,571 --> 00:14:47,405
Well, that's completely normal.
346
00:14:47,406 --> 00:14:49,073
So the surgery was a success,
347
00:14:49,074 --> 00:14:51,309
but there was a complication
removing the clot
348
00:14:51,310 --> 00:14:52,677
and you lost a lot of blood.
349
00:14:52,678 --> 00:14:54,112
Well, not to worry.
350
00:14:54,113 --> 00:14:55,847
We were able to perform a transfusion,
351
00:14:55,848 --> 00:14:57,482
and now everything's fine.
352
00:14:57,483 --> 00:14:59,751
Wow. T-Thank you.
353
00:14:59,752 --> 00:15:01,486
Well, actually, you don't have
to thank me. You...
354
00:15:01,487 --> 00:15:02,587
need to thank Rel.
355
00:15:02,588 --> 00:15:04,722
He literally saved your life.
356
00:15:04,723 --> 00:15:06,391
We had a problem with
the O negative blood supply,
357
00:15:06,392 --> 00:15:09,393
and Rel donated on the spot.
358
00:15:13,198 --> 00:15:15,366
Wow.
359
00:15:15,367 --> 00:15:16,768
We done come a long way, huh?
360
00:15:16,769 --> 00:15:18,236
Well, you and I were just,
361
00:15:18,237 --> 00:15:19,771
we were just yelling
at each other yesterday,
362
00:15:19,772 --> 00:15:21,739
and today, my blood
literally saved your life.
363
00:15:21,740 --> 00:15:23,107
Why would you do that?!
364
00:15:23,108 --> 00:15:26,177
I don't want your disgusting
blood in me!
365
00:15:26,178 --> 00:15:28,746
I'm gonna,
I'm gonna sue this hospital.
366
00:15:28,747 --> 00:15:30,081
Why the hell would you do that to me?
367
00:15:30,082 --> 00:15:34,418
J-Just drain me! Drain me!
368
00:15:37,595 --> 00:15:40,242
Wait, wait, wait. You
gave this guy your blood?
369
00:15:40,243 --> 00:15:41,943
Oh, that's genius, Rel.
370
00:15:41,944 --> 00:15:44,779
You put your black blood in a racist?
371
00:15:44,780 --> 00:15:47,389
Oh, man, I'm proud of you, son.
372
00:15:48,684 --> 00:15:52,120
Aw, man, I bet you his elbows
are ashy right now, man.
373
00:15:52,121 --> 00:15:55,323
I am so proud of you, man.
374
00:15:55,324 --> 00:15:58,493
Your ancestors are cheering you on.
375
00:15:58,494 --> 00:16:00,128
Okay, okay, Dad, look, look.
376
00:16:00,129 --> 00:16:01,763
I didn't do it
for my ancestors, all right?
377
00:16:01,764 --> 00:16:03,431
I was just doing my job.
378
00:16:03,432 --> 00:16:05,700
But man, you know,
instead of him thanking me
379
00:16:05,701 --> 00:16:07,836
for saving his life,
he treated me like trash.
380
00:16:07,837 --> 00:16:09,905
Oh, oh, I see.
I already told you once,
381
00:16:09,906 --> 00:16:11,740
you can't change a racist, man.
382
00:16:11,741 --> 00:16:13,241
What we need to figure out
is how to put some more
383
00:16:13,242 --> 00:16:15,744
black organs in him.
384
00:16:15,745 --> 00:16:17,045
Hey, Rel, I mean,
I know I was telling you,
385
00:16:17,046 --> 00:16:18,580
"Hey, go high" and all that stuff,
386
00:16:18,581 --> 00:16:20,582
but you went way higher
than I expected, bro.
387
00:16:20,583 --> 00:16:24,486
I mean, you literally put
yourself in that man heart.
388
00:16:24,487 --> 00:16:27,656
Michelle Obama would be proud, man.
389
00:16:27,657 --> 00:16:30,125
Man, see, it's not
about all that, man.
390
00:16:30,126 --> 00:16:32,594
Like, I-I hate the fact
that he got me hating him.
391
00:16:32,595 --> 00:16:35,664
You know? I mean, hate is so
contagious, man, I hate hate.
392
00:16:35,665 --> 00:16:39,134
There is nothing I love
more than hate.
393
00:16:39,135 --> 00:16:40,669
Here you go, Rel.
394
00:16:40,670 --> 00:16:42,837
My hate made you this shirt.
395
00:16:42,838 --> 00:16:45,740
Here you go, Milt.
My hate made you this hat.
396
00:16:45,741 --> 00:16:49,077
And Nat, my hate made you
this quilted phone cover.
397
00:16:50,846 --> 00:16:53,848
Damn, Brit, this is
a dope-ass phone case.
398
00:16:53,849 --> 00:16:56,618
I know. See, at first, Doolock's
song annoyed me, right?
399
00:16:56,619 --> 00:16:59,854
But then, I decided to be mature
and channel my hatred.
400
00:16:59,855 --> 00:17:01,823
So I started designing and sewing,
401
00:17:01,824 --> 00:17:03,792
and it's the most productive
I've ever been.
402
00:17:03,793 --> 00:17:07,229
See, I realized Doolock
is the hate of my life.
403
00:17:07,230 --> 00:17:10,332
Feels so good to be in hate.
404
00:17:10,333 --> 00:17:12,067
See, Rel? That's what
you got to do with hate.
405
00:17:12,068 --> 00:17:14,102
You got to take it,
throw it right back at them.
406
00:17:14,103 --> 00:17:16,238
Right. I took my power back.
407
00:17:16,239 --> 00:17:20,175
Look here.
I don't want to hate nobody,
408
00:17:20,176 --> 00:17:22,944
but I do want to take my power back.
409
00:17:22,945 --> 00:17:25,715
Ah, you know,
I know exactly what I'm-a do.
410
00:17:25,716 --> 00:17:27,884
All right? I'm-a go down there
and I'm-a demand an apology.
411
00:17:27,885 --> 00:17:29,553
And if he doesn't give it to me,
412
00:17:29,554 --> 00:17:33,056
I'm-a ask for my black blood back.
413
00:17:33,057 --> 00:17:35,258
- Oh, hey, Rel...
- No, no, no, no.
414
00:17:35,259 --> 00:17:37,027
Saved your life, all right?
415
00:17:37,028 --> 00:17:39,229
- And I need you to say, right...
- I'm sorry.
416
00:17:39,230 --> 00:17:43,667
Okay, that was easier
than I thought it was gonna be.
417
00:17:43,668 --> 00:17:46,102
I mean, for real, I-I actually
was planning to come down here
418
00:17:46,103 --> 00:17:48,839
and pretend like I was gonna
take your blood back.
419
00:17:48,840 --> 00:17:52,742
And then turn on BET
until you beg for mercy.
420
00:17:52,743 --> 00:17:56,379
Look, you know,
I overreacted yesterday.
421
00:17:56,380 --> 00:18:00,851
And you treated me great
while I treated you terribly,
422
00:18:00,852 --> 00:18:05,222
and you saved my life,
and, um, I am sorry.
423
00:18:05,223 --> 00:18:09,059
You, Rel, have opened my eyes.
424
00:18:09,060 --> 00:18:11,428
That's a good first step.
425
00:18:11,429 --> 00:18:13,497
I mean, we got to communicate.
426
00:18:13,498 --> 00:18:16,099
And I can honestly say that...
427
00:18:18,436 --> 00:18:21,538
...you're one of the good ones.
428
00:18:21,539 --> 00:18:24,007
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa...
429
00:18:28,546 --> 00:18:30,180
You said I'm one of the good ones?
430
00:18:30,181 --> 00:18:32,616
Yeah. Yeah. Like, you're not living
431
00:18:32,617 --> 00:18:35,619
off of government handouts, you're...
432
00:18:35,620 --> 00:18:38,555
you're educated, y-you're well-spoken.
433
00:18:40,625 --> 00:18:42,993
Excuse me?
434
00:18:42,994 --> 00:18:45,061
Do you know how racist you sound?
435
00:18:45,062 --> 00:18:47,063
I mean, even when you're not
even trying to sound racist,
436
00:18:47,064 --> 00:18:48,832
you sound racist.
437
00:18:48,833 --> 00:18:50,166
- How did you get like this?
- Now, look.
438
00:18:50,167 --> 00:18:52,102
You don't understand, okay?
439
00:18:52,103 --> 00:18:55,005
It's getting harder and harder
for a white man to succeed.
440
00:18:55,006 --> 00:18:57,407
Okay? I-I've been... I've been
unemployed for three years
441
00:18:57,408 --> 00:19:01,177
because the... these minority
caravans are taking our jobs.
442
00:19:01,178 --> 00:19:02,779
Okay, whoa, whoa.
Okay, bro. You-you...
443
00:19:02,780 --> 00:19:04,848
You talking about jobs? For real?
444
00:19:04,849 --> 00:19:08,084
First of all,
y'all always had the jobs.
445
00:19:08,085 --> 00:19:10,353
Okay? And second of all,
446
00:19:10,354 --> 00:19:12,889
dude, if you stop going to all
these meetings and rallies
447
00:19:12,890 --> 00:19:15,592
and just maybe go to a job fair or...
448
00:19:17,295 --> 00:19:19,329
...or take some classes
or send a résumé...
449
00:19:19,330 --> 00:19:21,498
Okay, you know,
o-of course you'd say that.
450
00:19:21,499 --> 00:19:25,835
You-you need get off
the Democratic plantation.
451
00:19:25,836 --> 00:19:29,105
Okay, you know
something? I-I see what this is.
452
00:19:29,106 --> 00:19:33,109
Right? For the first time
in your life,
453
00:19:33,110 --> 00:19:35,145
you know, you're not just
getting something handed to you
454
00:19:35,146 --> 00:19:37,681
based on the color
of your skin, right?
455
00:19:37,682 --> 00:19:40,183
You got to earn it.
You got to be qualified.
456
00:19:42,086 --> 00:19:46,956
Just a whiny, uneducated,
entitled little punk.
457
00:19:49,126 --> 00:19:50,961
I'm not finna waste my breath
with you no more.
458
00:19:50,962 --> 00:19:52,929
I did my job,
you'll be discharged shortly.
459
00:19:55,232 --> 00:19:57,233
Oh, and I forgot.
460
00:19:57,234 --> 00:20:01,304
Uh, we're gonna make sure
we bill your Obamacare.
461
00:20:01,305 --> 00:20:06,176
I-I do not have Obamacare.
462
00:20:06,177 --> 00:20:10,280
I have health insurance through
the Affordable Care Act.
463
00:20:15,252 --> 00:20:17,921
Well, I hate to bust your bubble.
464
00:20:17,922 --> 00:20:19,723
That is Obamacare.
465
00:20:19,724 --> 00:20:21,625
That's right.
466
00:20:21,626 --> 00:20:24,628
Barack been paying your bills,
and you didn't even know it.
467
00:20:24,629 --> 00:20:26,896
Surprise.
468
00:20:33,382 --> 00:20:36,150
♪ Yeah ♪
469
00:20:40,760 --> 00:20:43,296
♪ You know who it is ♪
470
00:20:43,297 --> 00:20:45,232
♪ It's Doolock, it's Doolock ♪
471
00:20:45,233 --> 00:20:46,800
♪ It's Doolock, it's Doo ♪
472
00:20:46,801 --> 00:20:48,769
♪ Sprinkle, dinkle, doodle ♪
473
00:20:48,770 --> 00:20:49,936
♪ Dettle ice cream ♪
474
00:20:49,937 --> 00:20:52,439
♪ Sprinkle, dinkle, doodle ♪
475
00:20:52,440 --> 00:20:54,207
♪ Dettle ice cream ♪
476
00:20:54,208 --> 00:20:56,176
♪ Sprinkle, dinkle, doodle ♪
477
00:20:56,177 --> 00:20:58,311
- ♪ Dettle ice cream ♪
- ♪ Ice cream ♪
478
00:20:58,312 --> 00:21:00,213
- ♪ Sprinkle, dinkle, doodle ♪
- ♪ Ice cream ♪
479
00:21:00,214 --> 00:21:02,182
- ♪ Dettle ice cream ♪
- ♪ Boy, ice cream ♪
480
00:21:02,183 --> 00:21:04,117
♪ It's Doolock, got the fool-lock ♪
481
00:21:04,118 --> 00:21:05,986
♪ And when I hit the streets,
all you hear is pop, pop ♪
482
00:21:05,987 --> 00:21:07,921
♪ I make a girl scream
"More ice cream" ♪
483
00:21:07,922 --> 00:21:09,556
♪ And I say, all I got
is cookies and cream ♪
484
00:21:09,557 --> 00:21:11,425
♪ I'll tell you, my cream is bananas ♪
485
00:21:11,426 --> 00:21:13,593
♪ I'm-a see your girl mañana ♪
486
00:21:13,594 --> 00:21:15,562
♪ But I got that cheese instead ♪
487
00:21:15,563 --> 00:21:18,068
♪ Talking about that
cheesy bread, diabetes ♪
488
00:21:18,069 --> 00:21:20,104
- ♪ You goons are dead ♪
- ♪ You sick, fam ♪
489
00:21:20,105 --> 00:21:21,288
♪ You don't want my banana bread ♪
490
00:21:21,289 --> 00:21:22,656
♪ Sprinkle, dinkle, doodle ♪
491
00:21:22,657 --> 00:21:24,725
♪ Dettle ice cream ♪
492
00:21:24,726 --> 00:21:26,960
- ♪ You dead to me, fam ♪
♪ Sprinkle, dinkle, doodle ♪
493
00:21:26,961 --> 00:21:28,462
♪ Dettle ice cream ♪
494
00:21:28,463 --> 00:21:29,997
♪ Sprinkle, dinkle, doodle ♪
495
00:21:29,998 --> 00:21:31,999
♪ Dettle ice cream ♪
496
00:21:32,000 --> 00:21:33,900
♪ Sprinkle, dinkle, doodle ♪
497
00:21:33,901 --> 00:21:37,345
- ♪ Dettle ice cream ♪
- ♪ Yeah. ♪
498
00:21:37,557 --> 00:21:44,154
Subtitle sync and corrections by
awaqeded for www.addic7ed.com.
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