All language subtitles for Hot.Lead.And.Cold.Feet.1978.720p.WEBRip.x264.AAC-[YTS.MX]

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[ Acoustic guitar ]

♪ May the best man win ♪

♪ May the best man win ♪

♪ May the best man win ♪

♪ Way out west ♪
♪ a rich old man ♪

♪ Had two ♪
♪ such different sons ♪

♪ Eli spoke ♪
♪ with Bible raised ♪

♪ And Billy spoke with guns ♪

♪ Daddy Bloodshy left a will ♪

♪ And Eli said that's fair ♪

♪ But Billy said ♪
♪ No, let's fight it out ♪

♪ So I can get your share ♪

♪ May the best man win ♪

♪ May the best man win ♪

♪ May the best man win ♪

♪ They mayor said ♪
♪ Folks, let's work it out ♪

♪ By setting up a race ♪

♪ And everyone said ♪
♪ poor preacher man ♪

♪ He'll fall right on his face ♪

♪ Eli was a city boy ♪

♪ And Billy knew the land ♪

♪ Please don't go ♪
♪ the schoolmarm begged ♪

♪ But Eli took a stand ♪

♪ May the best man win ♪

♪ May the best man win ♪

♪ May the best man win ♪

♪ When they meet ♪

♪ It'll be like hot lead and cold feet ♪

♪ When they meet ♪

♪ It'll be like hot lead and cold feet ♪

♪ On that street ♪

♪ It'll be like hot lead and cold feet ♪

♪ Hot lead and cold feet ♪

♪ Hot lead and cold feet ♪

♪ Hot lead and cold feet ♪

♪ Hot lead and cold feet ♪

♪ May the best man win ♪

♪ May the best man win ♪

♪ May the best man win ♪

♪ Daddy Bloodshy left a will ♪

♪ And Eli said that's fair ♪

♪ But Billy said ♪
♪ No, let's fight it out ♪

♪ So I can get your share ♪

♪ May the best man win ♪

♪ May the best man win ♪

♪ May the best man win ♪

♪ When they meet ♪

♪ It'll be like hot lead and cold feet ♪

♪ When they meet ♪

♪ It'll be like hot lead and cold feet ♪

♪ On that street ♪

♪ It'll be like hot lead and cold feet ♪

♪ Hot lead and cold feet ♪
♪ may the best man win ♪

♪ Hot lead and cold feet ♪
♪ may the best man win ♪

♪ Hot lead and cold feet ♪
♪ may the best man win ♪

♪ Hot lead and cold feet ♪
♪ may the best man win ♪

No man...

Should have to face mornin'...

Or old man Bloodshy sober.

That's a good idea.
Listen...

Why don't you wait here, and
I'll go up and get us a drink.

It've been a better idea if I'd
thought of it five minutes ago.

Whoa, whoa, whoa.

Whoa, baby.

We are here, sir.
Here, Mr. Bloodshy.
I'll give you my hand.

You do and you'll get my foot,
you jailhouse jellyfish.

Mind the wind, sir.
And mind your business, Mansfield.

[ Groans ]

Oh, great glory.
Take a look at that sight, will ya? Mine!

Bloodshy territory
as far as the eye can see.

The doctors
are quite concerned.

How much time
does he have?

According to the doctors, if he
doesn't take care of himself...

It'll be soon.

And how much time if he
does take care of himself?

They give me
at least two days,

and that's why we're here...
To get a last look...

At what I'm leaving
to my heirs.

Heirs?

The land, the town,
the money.

When you say "heirs," you do mean
your son Wild Billy, don't you?

When I say "heirs,"
I mean just that.

I found my other boy.

Many years ago I grew
a mite too wild...

For my bride's
highfalutin ways,

so one day she up and ran
off back to England,

taking half of my sons.

"Half"? You mean
you got two boys?

Traced him to Philadelphia.

Two boys?
This town needs another Wild Billy...

Like it needs an earthquake.
You eat them words...

Before I pound your face
into a flapjack.

We-we'd better write out a new will so
that everything's done fair and square.

You can stick your quill
back in the goose.

I already "writ" out my will.

And you ain't gettin' it
until I'm ready to go.

A new will?
Mansfield, what do you know about this?

Absolutely nothing, sir.

I never heard of it.
What are we going to do?

Will you wait a minute
while I think about this?

There's got to be an answer.
Whoa!

Bloodshy!
Bloodshy!

Two, three, four.
[ Band playing off-key ]

♪ Oh, something good ♪
♪ is bound to happen ♪

♪ When love ♪
♪ is in your heart ♪

♪ For love and human kindness is ♪
♪ where good things always start ♪

♪ There's goodness ♪
♪ in your neighbors ♪

♪ There's goodness ♪
♪ close at hand ♪

♪ Oh, let's spread love ♪
♪ and goodness ♪

♪ Over all this blessed land ♪

♪ Blessed land ♪
♪ blessed land ♪

♪ Blessed land ♪
♪ blessed land ♪

♪ Over all this blessed land ♪

Everybody!
♪ something good ♪
♪ is bound to happen ♪

♪ When love is in your heart ♪

♪ For love and human kindness ♪

♪ Is where good things ♪
♪ always start ♪

♪ There's goodness ♪
♪ in your neighbors ♪

♪ There's goodness ♪
Yeah!
Now!

Stop that racket!
Let's...

Let's get out of here!
These vegetables tell me something...

We've got their attention.
Get out of here!

Those guys over on 10th Street
were listening a lot better.

They were throwing rocks.

Brother Eli,
is that you?

Oh! Brother Joshua.
I'm sorry to bother you during your work,

but I have a very important
letter for you.

A letter?
Yes. It's marked
"special delivery" and "urgent."

And look at that postmark.

"Arizona Territory."
That's way out west.

We don't want you around here!
That's curious.

[ Man ]
Good shot, Harry!

I didn't know my father.
In fact, I didn't even know I had a father.

Now I've found him and I've
lost him all in one letter.

Guess you're an orphan,
brother Eli, like us.

At least
he's a rich one.

Only when we are giving,
brother Marcus.

Of course, that's what
you meant to say, hmm?

Oh, sure.
How rich are you gonna be?

Well, it appears that there is
a considerable inheritance.

It mentions land,
and that there is a town,

and it says a considerable
amount of money.

Ha, ha, ha.
I mean, just imagine all the good work...

We could do with...
With that kind of wealth.

Guess you'll be out there
a long time.

Well, just long enough to-to claim my
inheritance, and then we'll be back.

"We'll be back"?
You mean we're going with you?

Brother Demetrius says that
it might help your education.

Yahoo!
Out with the cowboys
and the gunslingers...

And the shoot-outs!
We're really going out west!

No, no, no, brother Marcus,
not in my father's town, no.

Remember, "Whosoever seeks
peace and love shall find it."

Now, if you've anymore
dreaming to do,

I suggest you do it
with your eyes shut.

We've got a very long journey tomorrow.
God bless.

God bless.
God bless.

[ Men cheering ]

One, two...

- [ Men shouting, cheering ]
- You have a go at me now, Simon.

Well, thank you, Billy.
Thank you.

- Hold it!
- Easy, Billy.

Me and my brothers,
we know you're grievin'.

We ain't lookin' for trouble.
Well, you found it.

Next time it won't be your hardware.
It'll be your head.

Oh, quit shakin', doc.
You made me miss.

I-I'm sorry, Billy.

I-I'm sorry!

[ Billy ]
Set 'em up again, Red Dog.

What's up, Ragsdale?

I'd like a little privacy.
You, come inside.

Wonder what he's gonna do when
he finds out he's got a brother.

You reckon he's gonna share
his fortune with him?

Don't worry about a brother
that ain't gonna show up.

- How's that?
- Boys, you got a job to do.

[ Girl ] Marcus, look!
Something's coming.

Yeah. It's a stagecoach.
The kind that gets held up by robbers.

I hope not.
Don't worry.

That's why the hombre next to
the driver is riding shotgun.

Eli! The stagecoach is here!

[ Driver shouting ]

Whoa!
Hey, you there.
Shake a leg.

We ain't got
all day, you.

You can take as long
as you want, Billy.

[ Chuckles ]
Just say the word,
and you got all day.

I beg your pardon?

You ain't gonna get a quarrel out of us.
No, sir.

See? He dropped
his gun.

Does this stagecoach
got to Bloodshy, please?

You bet your sweet life it does.
Any place you say.

Bloodshy, Carson City,
Timbuktu...

You name it, and that's
where we're going.

Yes, sir, we got nothin' but time.
Step right in.

There ain't no passengers
to bother you.

And if there were, we'd throw 'em out.
I'd be very much obliged...

If you could store that
for me, please. Okay.

Thank you.
And that one.

I-I'll be back in a jiffy.
Yes, sir, you just take your time.

Wild Bill is talking kind
of peculiar, ain't he?

Probably still liquored up
from grievin'.

Well, shall we make a run for it?
He ain't wearing no guns.

I don't know.
Probably got 'em hid
under that coat of his.

Right, driver.
We're all in now.

Yes, sir.
[ Shouts, whistles ]
Let's go.

People sure seem polite
around here.

They even call you by your first
name, even if it's the wrong one.

I've noticed... "Billy."

I wonder why. Hmm?
[ Driver ] Come on there!

[ Driver whistles, shouts ]

Hey, get out of there!
Whoa!

Whoa!
Whoa there!

Ho! Ho there!

Hey, you there.
Get that thing out of the way.

Sure. First we got a
little business. Boys!

[ Snickering ]

We ain't carrying gold.

No, but you got
a passenger we want.

You want him?
Good luck.

Yeah.

I had a feeling
we might need this.

You, inside!
Come on out.

We got a little
surprise for you.

You!
What's he doing out here?

[ Nervous chuckle ]
Y-y-you kind of took us by surprise.

Another one of your
little jokes, huh, Billy?
[ Laughs ]

[ All laughing ]

Guess this one's on us.
We come all the way out here
and find out it's you.

I don't know who you are
or who you think I am,

but I do know
you shouldn't point that...

Especially when
there are children around.

It's liable to go off
and hurt somebody.

Get down!

[ Gunshots continue ]
Run for it!
Out of my way!

Move it! Move it! Run!
[ Shouting ]

Why, he's crazy.
Let's get out of here.

Ha! Giddyap!
Ha!

Wow!
That was awful.

Did I tell you?
Our first day in the west,
and we've already been held up.

We-we'd better take this...
This thing with us.

We don't want it to fall
into the wrong hands.

Oh!

I'm so tired I can hardly walk.
Don't worry.

When we go through the
badlands, you'll be running.

We don't run, we walk...
Head high, brother Marcus.

By holding good thoughts and
relying on the power within us,

our burden shall be lifted.

Do you remember that
prophet of old, Elijah?

Not again.
Oh, no!

Oh, yes, a man of
righteousness and goodness.

He was sent to his final victory,
his eternal destination,

in a fiery chariot.
[ Woman ] Whoa! Whoa there!

Whoa, whoa, boy!
Whoa there!

Look out!

Are you all right?
Yes.

These critters always seem
to have a mind of their own.

What are you doing in the
middle of the road anyway?

We were just walking along.
We didn't expect a wagon to come...

Are you gonna
stand there babbling,

or help me with this rig?
W-we'll help.

Give the lady a hand.

The fiery chariot.

I imagine you could
use a lift too, huh?

- Thank you very much.
Where are you going?
- As far as Bloodshy.

Oh, that's a coincidence.
So are we.

First the fiery chariot, and now
she's taking us to Bloodshy.

See? You don't have
to run at all...

If you listen to what
to brother Eli says.

Thank you.
Hey, I'm Jenny Willingham.

Are you a dance hall girl?
Marcus!

No, I'm a school teacher.

How do you do?
I'm Eli Bloodshy.

We're missionaries.
That's Roxanne, and this is Marcus.

Bloodshy, huh?
Yes. It was my father's town.

He passed away, but I'm going
to collect my inheritance.

Now, am I just gonna stand here
blabbering, or get that lift, huh?

[ Laughs ]
[ Man ] Wahoo!

[ Honky-tonk piano ]

Put me down!
I said put me down!

Oh, Mansbridge.

Uh, "Field," sir.
Oh, yeah.

Well, what can I do
for you, Fieldbridge?

- It's "Mansfield," sir.
- Oh. Yeah.

Well, them English names
are all Greek to me.
[ Laughs ]

You wanna watch it there,
fella?

I'll turn your overnight stay
into a life sentence.

Gotta keep your eye on 'em every
minute so they don't fly the coop.

Well, we had a little fire in
here, thanks to Mr. Wild Billy.

One of these days I'm gonna put
the cuffs on him for good.

Ha, ha!

If you don't mind, sir, I'm
looking for mayor Ragsdale.

Uh, Mr. Bloodshy's will...

Oh, a will. If it has to do with the
law, you came to the right place.

Oh, but it has to be
administered by the mayor.

Just leave it to me,
mainstream.

[ Clears throat ]

Now, you remember, now,
you're on your honor.

"I, Jasper Bloodshy...

Last will and testament...
My entire inheritance..."

It's a contest.
It is?

No, it isn't.
I-I-It isn't?

No. Couldn't be, not when the
other contestant can't make it.

Oh, of course not.
Why can't he make it?

Because by now the poor
sucker's on his way...

Sheriff, don't you have anything
better to do with your time?

No. No, not right now.
I'm just sitting around...
Go out and find Wild Billy.

Wild Billy?
Tell him it's official...
He's rich.

Wild Billy?

It's good news, sheriff.
Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah.
Good news.

Yeah, then maybe he won't
want a shoot-out.

Yeah, I'll tell him.
Very rich.

[ Eli ]
Isn't it beautiful, children?

Oh, you can see
for miles!

[ Squawks ]
[ Marcus ] Look at that!

[ Eli ]
"Bloodshy."

It's my name, etched in wood.

So where will you be staying?

Well, I hadn't really thought...
[ Marcus ] How about the saloon?

Children can't stay at a saloon.
Why not?

We're used to places like that.

And there's a lot
of souls to save there.

Look, I've made arrangements
to stay at a boarding house,

and I'm sure they'll have
room for all of you.

Oh, thank you very much.
A boarding house?

But Eli, that's not where all
the shooting and fighting is.

Look, Marcus, 99.9%
of all towns in the west...

Are just peaceful, sleepy little
villages where nothing ever happens.

Now, will you get all that
other stuff out of your head.

[ Gunshots ]

Wow!

Hyah! Hyah!

Whoa!
I think we're here.

I don't believe it.

[ Groaning, coughing ]

Wha...
Oh, I'm sorry!

Mr. Bloodshy, are you all right?
I think so. Yes.

Step aside!
Oh!

[ Groans ]

[ Whistling ]

[ Groans ]

Why, you...
[ Coughing ]

Sorry.

Stop, thief!
Get that varmint!

Where is he?
[ Man #2 ] I didn't see him.

[ Man #3 ]
There he goes!

Get down!
Get down!

You sidewinder!

Gentlemen! Gentlemen!
Just a minute!

Just a minute.
Do you mind?

Thank you.
This is no way to solve a problem.

If a man is guilty of a crime, he
should be judged in a court of law,

not by mob rule
and violence.

Yeah. Yeah.
You're right.

Sure.
Whatever you say.

Just because these men are mean, it
doesn't mean they won't listen to reason.

Now, can you tell me
where the sheriff is?

I've got something for him.
Watch out!
There he goes again.

He's going crazy!

Out of my way!

Maybe we'll find him in the saloon.
No, no, not "we."

"Me." You're off to the boarding
house with Miss Willingham.

Jenny.
Aw! Eli!

Besides, you two could use a nap.
A nap?

What?
Good idea.

Eli, we're too old to take naps!
But, Eli!

[ Honky-tonk piano ]
[ Shouting, laughter ]

[ Man ]
Hyah! Get up here!

Yeah, me and Wild Billy
are just like that.
[ Men laughing ]

Leastways,
we're gonna be.

I've got some news that's
gonna keep him in booze,

dames and...

- Sheriff?
- Billy! Don't shoot! Don't shoot!

Pardon?
I've got news...
Good news.

We got the will.
It's official.

I've seen it myself...
In black and white.
Oh.

Cross my heart and hope to die.
Oh, Billy, no.

Let's just check
that cannon, okay?

Thank you very much.

One of man's most disruptive weapons.
Yeah.

What are you doing
in that crazy suit?

That's all right.
You can wear whatever you want.

You can do what you want.
I mean, you own the town...

The land, the money.
The land as far as the eye can see.

You're rich, Billy.
You're rich.

It's almost too good to be true.
You like that, huh?

Yes, I do.
I kind of thought that'd soften you up.

And don't forget,
I'm the one that who you.
Where's that lousy Ragsdale?

[ Grumbling ]

Sheriff, I... I think
I know those men.

Well, boys, I think it's time
for a round of drinks, huh?

Yeah! Yeah!
What'll you have?

A cup of tea, please.
[ Men laughing ]

I've sent for the tea.
Oh, thank you very much.

[ Gunshots ]
[ Man ] Yee-haw!

Out of my way,
you varmints!

You know, if you wasn't
standing right here,

I'd swear that sounds like you.
Yee-hoo!

Yee-hoo!
[ Man ] There's two of 'em.

[ Wild Billy shouting,
whooping ]

He looks just like
a real gunfighter.

You know, I don't think we know
him as well as we thought we did.

Scat! Get out!

This saloon's deader than Boot Hill!
Get down.

All it needs,
liven it up!

That's Eli over there.

Twins?

Twin brothers!
Isn't that wonderful?

What's this?

[ Gunshot ]

I thought I shot out
that mirror.

Don't... don't fire.

Holy smoke.
The mirror's talkin' to me.

No, no, no.
I-I'm not a mirror.

No.
I don't like this.

Now, how come
there's two of me?

I said, how come
there's two of me?

Hold it, Billy. Hold it. There ain't
two of you, there's one of each.

Brothers...
Spittin' images.

Brothers?

Oh, isn't that marvelous!
I'm...

I'm overjoyed.

Well, I don't need no spittin' image.
Now, hold it, Billy.

Hold it.
Now, we got us a brand-new will.

Now, it mentions the fact
that you got a brother,

but it don't say nothin'
about him being a twin.

Well, I don't need no brother,
nor no spittin' twin.

[ Gunshot ]
Like it or not, want it or not,

need it or not,
you got him.

Just whose side
are you on, mayor?

Oh, mayor Ragsdale?
Uh, yes.

Eli Bloodshy, sir.
How do you do?

I've got a letter here asking me to
look you up regarding my inheritance.

Your inheritance?
Now, not so fast.

Now, how do we know
he's a real Bloodshy?

You talk funny,
like a foreigner.

Well, I've got my
birth certificate,

and I've got my license to
drive a cart in Philadelphia,

and I'm expecting
my preaching permit...

Any day now.
Your preach...

Oh, lordy.
It ain't bad enough I got me a brother.

He's a tambourine whacker.
[ Men laughing ]

Yeah. Yeah.
Well, uh, E-E-Eli...

Eli, sir.
Yes, Eli.

Well, yes, we-we do have
an inheritance,

but, uh, there's
a little contest involved.

What-what kind of a contest?
Between the two of you.

Yeah, it's spelled out
right-right in here.

Yes. In detail.
Uh...

Yes, there it is.
Winner take all.

Between him and me?
[ Laughing ]

- [ Laughing ]
- Wh-wh-what does it consist of?

Oh, just a little race.

Nothing to be
worried about.

Now, you come on now, Eli,
let me show you the town...

That your daddy built, huh?
I'll see you later, Billy.

"A little race," huh?

On the bloody Bloodshy Trail.

Well, if I was you boys, I'd get
a few bets down in the big city.

That way, whilst I'm cleaning
up on the psalm singer,

you boys can be
cleaning out Reno.

[ Men whooping ]

[ Gunshots continue ]
That's the Bloodshy Savings Bank.

Hasn't been open
since the last robbery.

There's not much money
in this town, parson.

But I thought my father
had considerable wealth.

Oh, yes.
It's all safe and sound in my vault there.

Don't you worry
about a thing, son.

The lunchroom's shut too?
Oh, yeah.

Well, people around here seem to
get what they need in the saloon.

So I see.
Yes, it-it's the west.

You see, son.
It's the wild, wild west.

Hold it. He's here.
Who?

He is.
Rattlesnake.

But don't worry.
It's gonna be all right.

I got the edge on him.
You do? Why?

'Cause he's here,
and I know he's here,

and he knows
I know he's here.

But he doesn't know I know
he knows I know he's here.

But I know,
so I got the edge.

Let's leave this up to
the sheriff, uh, son.

You're here!
I knew you were here.

Yeah, I'm here, all right.
My sister says you insulted her.

No man insults my sister
and stays alive.

Insulted her?
I asked her to marry me.

So she was right.
Get ready to slap leather.

Then get ready to bite the dust.
[ Laughs ]

You're fast, Denver,
but not that fast.

Nobody's that fast.

I didn't get to be the sheriff
of Bloodshy for being slow.

Draw and I'll tattoo your
name all over that sheet.

[ Door slams ]
You draw, and there'll be
another badge on Boot Hill.

We'll see about that.

At the count of three.

[ Grunting, chuckling ]

One, two...

Ow! Oh!

[ Laughing ]

Oh! Whoa, whoa!

[ Groaning ]

It seems that what hasn't been
burned down has been boarded up.

Yeah, yeah.
I hope the church has survived.

No, no.
The church burned down,
oh, about six months ago.

The church as well?
Yeah. Yeah.

Perhaps I can speak to your minister.
Well...

Yeah, you probably passed him
on the way into town.

No, all we passed
was a little cemetery.

Yeah, well that great big
gray tombstone, that was him.

Yeah. You beginning
to get the picture, boy?

Yes, it's the classic picture
of a town on its knees.

Yes, exactly. Exactly!

Now, even if you do win that race,
I mean, look around you here.

What have you got?
What have I got?

I've got the most marvelous
opportunity a man could have.

Huh?
Thank you, mayor Ragsdale,

for the most inspiring
walk of my life.

What?

Jenny?
[ Jenny ] In here.

Jenny, fate certainly took us by
the hand when it led us out here.

Everywhere you turn, there's
a golden opportunity to...

What are you doing?
It's called "packing."

It goes along with leaving,
which is what I'm going to do.

But there's a real job to be done here.
What job?

The school burnt down along
with the church six months ago.

All the more reason
we're needed.

For what?
To start a fire department?

No, to build a new church.
To build a new school.

To lift this town
to its feet.

Jenny, I believe that destiny
itself has spoken to us.

Did destiny tell you where
the money was coming from?

From my inheritance.
What about the race?

The race? You've heard about that?
Who hasn't?

It's all over town.
The kids told me.

Well, considering the life that
my brother's been leading,

I'll be taking
unfair advantage.

You don't think you stand
a chance to win, do you?

Of course.
When you're a missionary in Philadelphia,

you get to be
very fast on your feet.

Fine. But how are you in the water?
Water?

When was the last time
you shot the rapids?

What does that have to do...
And how about the six-up team?

Have you driven one of them lately?
I've never driven one of them.

Then there's the mountain.
Wh-what mountain?

Have you ever climbed
straight up, 2,000 feet,

with only razor-sharp rocks
and death at every turn?

Wait.
Is what you think this race is all about?
That's it exactly.

Half of the people out there are
betting you won't even come out alive.

That's ridiculous!
You've been listening
to rumors and a couple of kids.

What are you doing?
Look, I've been talking to mayor Ragsdale,

and he assures me it's
nothing more than a plain,

simple, ordinary race.

You don't believe him,
do you?

Well, of course.
He's a fine, upstanding gentleman.

I like that.
He's a civic dignitary, you know.

But...
[ Door closes ]

[ Groans ]

He must not finish
that race,

but you gotta make it look
like an accident.

I don't know what you're
so all het-up about.

Ain't no way that city dude
can make that course.

Yeah? Well, there's too much
at stake to take any chances.

Besides, there's something about
him that makes me nervous.

Do you boys think that you
can handle it this time?

[ Sighs ]
Quit your worrying, Ragsdale.

Taking care of an hombre like
Eli is our meat and potatoes.

Good. I'll have some gravy
for you later.

Ahh!
Dinner in a moment, sir.

Try serving it up here,
you overpaid import.

And close your mouth, 'less
you're aiming to catch flies.

If I may, sir, what are
you doing up there?

I'm spying on you,
Mansfield,

to make sure
you deliver the will.

Then perhaps you were able to get a
glimpse of master Eli as well, sir.

I would have, if you hadn't
let me climb up here...

Without my spyglass. Begging your
pardon, sir, but I wasn't here.

That's no excuse,
you lint-headed limey.

[ Sniffs ]
Now, look alive.
I'm coming down.

Very good, sir.

[ Grunting, groaning ]

[ Groaning ]
Are you quite all right, sir?

[ Spitting ]

Now I've had it
with you, Mansfield.

You missed me again...

Just like your broken-down
net did at the gorge.

Accidentally,
I assure you, sir.

Bushwah. If you don't
kill me by missing me,

you're gonna get me
with your poison cooking.

Well, the stage
is now set, sir,

and we patiently await
the opening curtain.

Don't give me that highfalutin
lingo, you shoddy Shakespeare.

Now, what's my boy
look like?

As you would say, the "spitting
image" of your other son.

Totin' guns, was he?
Yes.

Rather a large, rapid-firing one, sir.

Another fightin' fool!
Oh, great glory!

I can see a real battle
shaping up, Mansfield.

Under your watchful eye,
I'm sure it will be...

A marvelous contest, sir.
Yeah.

Do sit down, sir.
Thank you kindly, Mansfield.

Aah!

With you around, Mansfield,
my watchful eye may be...

The only thing left in my body that
ain't broke, battered or busted.

Revival meeting, ma'am?
A pamphlet, sir?

Singin', preachin'
and free soup?

It's homemade.
Yes.

Free booze and you might
get yourself a crowd.
[ Chuckles ]

But free soup?
[ Laughing ]

Maybe some of the farmers will come.
I sure hope someone does.

[ Gunshot ]
I hope those gunfighters don't come.

Me too.
I don't care what Ragsdale says.

If I had my way, that preacher
boy wouldn't make it...

To the starting line.

They mean Eli.
They're gonna get him.
He'd never believe that.

He's always looking at
the good side of people.

Yeah, but while he's looking
at their good side,

their bad side's
gonna finish him.

What we ought to do is try
to help protect him. Look!

Five paces and we turn and shoot.
Right.

What about it?
That's how we're gonna help protect him.

How?
Just wait.

- You ready?
- I'm ready.

- You ready?
- I'm ready. You ready?

I said I was ready.

You gonna count,
count.

All right.
I'm gonna count now.

Well, count!

One,

two, three,

four, five!

[ Growls ]

[ Both growling ]

[ Gunshots ]

Guns?
What are you doing?

Eli needs our help.
We need the practice, Jenny.

They're gonna get him.
We heard some men talking.

I don't care what you heard.
You have no business playing with guns.

You want me to help you unload it?
Absolutely not.

If you want to help, finish
delivering those pamphlets.

Now, move.
You better be careful, Jenny.

The shotgun's still loaded.

Don't you worry about me.
I can handle it.
Now get a move on.

All right.
Yes'm.

- Oh!
- Whoa!

Who... who did...

You! You, you...

You almost killed me!

- Eli?
- Are you crazy? What are you...

What are you doing shooting guns, anyway?
You don't understand.

Eli, I wasn't...
I was trying to unload it.
Who was it?

The children.
They heard some men talking, so they...

Jenny, don't blame the children.
It's bad enough to twist the truth, Jenny,

but to blame two innocent children...

[ Blows ]
For this... Oh!

I'm... I'm shocked.
Wait. You... You... wait.

You wait and see.

When it comes
to spotting my son,

this has to be the perfect
spot, Mansfield. Hmm.

Innocent children.

Innocent children.
Mm-hmm.

Aah! Ooh!
Oh!

[ Thunder rumbling ]

[ Groans ]

Huh?
[ Chuckling ]

[ Thunderclap ]

All right, rattlesnake!

None of your tricks this time.

On the count of three, draw.

Counting three's fair by me.

So long, Denver.
[ Chuckles ]

[ Chuckling ]

One,

two,

three.

[ Thunderclap ]

[ Roxanne ] We're gonna be late!
[ Marcus ] Jenny, let's go!

What's wrong, Jenny?

Aren't you going?
No, I don't think I will.

Eli needs us, Jenny.
We've got to stand by him.
It's his first revival meeting.

You'd do just about anything
for him, wouldn't you?

Sure. He's done
everything for us.

Maybe even more than
a father would have done.

You'd like to have
a father, wouldn't you?

More than anything else
in the whole world.

Well, maybe I'll bring
some soup down later on.

Come on.

No, no, I tell you.
I tell you, there is hope.

As Solomon told
ancient Israel,

"The house of the wicked
shall be overthrown,

but the tabernacle of the
upright shall flourish."

A real battler?
You nincompoop!

My son's a psalm singer!

[ Groans ]
[ Man ] Mr. Bloodshy.

You better get out of town
while the getting's good.
That's right.

The last fella who came in here talking
"tabernacles" went out feet first.

- You remember him, Lenny?
- I do remember that.

But running away has never
been the solution, brother...

Not when there are kind, decent,
peaceful people here...

Who want to live in a community
where there's love and goodness.

Looks like his brother
and talks like his mother.

That poor milksop stands
as much chance out here...

As a snowflake in the Sahara.

What about my father, rest his soul?

He practically
built this town.

"Practically"?
I cleared timber,
drove nails, dug ditches...

What am I telling you for,
you English sissy?

But then he just sat around
and let it all turn sour...

Let it fall into the wrong hands.
That's right.

Now it's just a town of gambling
and gunfighting, hard drinking...

And fast women.
Sounds pretty good to me.

Hmm?
[ Cackles ]

But if the town changed
for the worse,

it could change
for the better.

Now, all it needs is a little
faith, courage and conviction.

Now, I'm ready to stay
right here, brothers,

and help you fight
to get this town back again.

Well, I guess he does have
a smidgen of spunk after all...

For a prune picker.
[ Chuckles ]

Mr. Bloodshy?
Yeah?
Oops.

'Fraid you won't be
staying here very long.

You ain't never gonna finish
that race tomorrow.

No. And you know why?
Because there isn't going
to be any silly race.

What does he mean,
no race?

If he cancels my race,
I'll cancel him.

I'm going across the street right
now and talk to my brother.

We'll split this inheritance and
use the money to make this...

A town worth living in.

Now, you'll see...
Behind those guns of his,

there's a fine,
decent human being.

[ Crowd laughing ]
Mr. Bloodshy?

- Do you really believe all that?
- I certainly do. Yes.

Well, you are crazy
as a coot.

[ Laughter ]
He's as crazy as two coots.

Marcus will spread the word.
By the time I've finished
talking to my brother,

the whole town will be
out there with love...

And the milk of human
kindness in their hearts.

Roxanne, ring those bells.

I've heard enough, Mansfield.

I don't have to hear anymore.

[ Groaning ]

[ Together ]
♪ welcome to the church in the vale ♪

[ Gunshots ]
[ Music continues, indistinct ]

[ Discordant piano notes ]

- [ Gunshots ]
- [ Discordant notes ]

[ Choir continues, indistinct ]

Brother Billy,
may I suggest...

[ Discordant note ]

Brother Billy, may I suggest...
[ Gunshot ]

Brother Billy, may I suggest
we put aside this contest...

And join our hands together for
the benefit of the community.

- You know what I mean?
- Yeah. You're afraid to race me.

Well, certainly not,
but I think it's silly...

For two grown men
to compete with each other.

Now, if you don't run
in that race tomorrow,

you're nothin' more
than I thought you was...

A yellow-bellied, lily-livered
coward from the city.

[ Whooping, laughing ]
Now you get out of here...

Before I'm obliged
to blow your brains out.

But we still don't
have this settled, and...

And I'm not leaving here
until we do.

Oh, you're not, huh?

No.

[ Laughter ]

You ought to be
more careful with that gun.

[ Gunshot ]
[ Laughter ]

Say good night to brother Eli.

[ Jeering ]

[ Choir continues, indistinct ]

Oh, Eli.

[ Jeering, laughing ]

We'll see you at the race
tomorrow, brother Eli.

Ha! That is,
if you can...

Get your quaking carcass
to the starting line.

- [ Laughter ]
- Hey, wait a minute!

You can't get away
with that!

Marcus, stop.
[ Billy ] Now you won't have to wash.

When are you gonna realize
they don't want us here?

But we are needed.

Eli, they're
against you.

All of them are.
J-just a minute.

You haven't lost faith,
have you?

Of course not.
Not in you.

Five mighty tests of
courage, skill and strength,

startin' with
the iron donkeys,

snortin' little
piston-drivin' steam engines,

and endin' up
with the six-up teams,

wagons pulled
by six powerful horses.

You're gonna see fierce,
spirited, untamed, wild-eyed...

- You lookin' for me?
- I'll tend to you later.

[ Snickering ]

Anyway, folks, the, uh...

The finish line is in town.
And one more thing...

Oh, yeah. I get it. Right.
Be brief.

Uh, well,
to be brief, folks,

stationed at
each and every point,

there will be an official selected
by our impartial race committee...

To see that there's
no hanky-panky goin' on.

Mornin', Oscar.
Snead.

Hey, five dollars says the preacher
don't make it to the canoes.

You know officials ain't
allowed to make bets.

So?

You givin' odds?
You name 'em, you got 'em.

Cat's cradle, sir.
Ah, it'd better be.

Now push, Mansfield.

Push! Push!
[ Grunting ]

I knew it in my bones, Mansfield.

Fair race, my foot!

My boy Eli's gonna need
help, and lots of it.

I'd best get my tools.
Ohh!

- [ Groaning ]
- W-watch it!

Stand fast,
ya cockeyed cockney, you!

Ohh!
I'm sorry, sir.

There's one thing for sure, sir.

Master Eli certainly has
a chance with you around.

Sir?

Sir?

Oh, sir!

Oh, and something else I forgot.
Before we start the race...

[ Crowd laughing ]
Uh, on second thought, let's just...

Let's start the race, okay?
Br-bring up the iron donkeys.

What do you think
that means?

I don't know.

Eli, we got something
for you.

For me?
Be careful.
Don't squash it.

- It's for good luck.
- In case you need any.

Oh. Oh, it's-it's...
It's beautiful.

[ Marcus ]
Eli, we know you can win.

Win? He'll be lucky
if he stays alive.

Roxanne!
Do you mind just having
a little faith, hmm?

Contestants,
mount your engines!

[ Man ]
I'm countin' on you, Billy!
Go get 'im!

[ Cheering ]

Don't worry.
I've nothing to be afraid of.

[ Whistle blows ]
Cheer up, brother.

We both got something
to look forward to:

The town greetin' me,
and Saint Peter greetin' you!

Eli? For luck.
Yes?

And be careful.

Now, when you hear
my gunshot,

that's your signal
to start the race.

Are you ready?

Yeah!
Yes.

[ Clicks ]

[ Man ]
Hey, what's goin' on?

[ Man #2 ]
When is he gonna start this thing?

[ Woman complaining ]

[ Men laughing ]

Are we gonna
wait around here all day?

Hey.

[ Cheering ]

Eli, you're going
the wrong way!

[ Crash ]

- Billy, what are you stoppin' for?
- Oh!

Out of the way!

Oh!

Whoa!

Get off me!
Get your foot off of my...

[ Whistle blows ]
Oh!

Thank you very much.
Push!

Push! Here we go!
Here we go!

Is this a race or
ring around the roundhouse?

[ Marcus ]
Come on, hurry!
Get him on the track!

[ Roxanne ]
You're on the track now, Eli!

[ Marcus ]
Go, Eli! Go, go, go, Eli!

[ Cheering ]

[ Marcus ]
Go, Eli! Get him!

What's goin' on?

You're losin', that's what!
[ Laughing ]

Come on! Get him!
Git! Git!

Snail foot!

We'll see ya later, brother!

Come on!

[ Gunshots ]

[ Whistle blowing ]

Uh-oh.

Huh?

Ah!

[ Yelling ]

Clear the road!

- Clear the road!
- [ Clamoring ]

[ Barking ]

[ Snarling ]

[ Whistle blows ]

Ow! Ooh!

[ Mouths words ]

[ Coughing ]

[ Yelling, whooping ]

[ Screaming ]

Hey, what's that?
Ah, it's just another Indian sacrifice.

What, a whole teepee?

Yeah, looks like it.

Say, what's become
of your brother?

Should've been here by now.
What happened?
You get ahead of him?

No. I guess he's steamin'
home back to Philadelphia.

Holy horsefly!
Would you look who that is?

Now, how did he
get there?

[ Gasping, coughing ]

You get back here, you
schemin', cheatin' polecat!

You paddle like you talk...
Like a sissy!

A Bloodshy! Ha!

Well, quitters don't run in our family!

Yahoo!

Yah!

Wrong way. Wrong way.

Oh, no. Oh, no.
[ Screaming ]

Ohh!

Help!

Looks pretty good for ya, Billy.

Yeah, and pretty bad
for him.

Hey, look!

Am I seein' what I think I'm seein'?

I coulda told him this race would
get him one way or t'other.

[ Gasping ]

Well, looks like you
might get your chance.

I don't believe it!
I just don't believe it!

Hey, you better
get a wiggle on, Billy.

That fella's still a-kickin'.

Come on, buckey.
Let's help him out.

[ Mansfield ] Has he succeeded, sir?
[ Jasper ] Has he?

I told you that half-drowned church
mouse is sure givin' him a run for it,

in spite of them
sabotagin' Sneads.

I daresay the Sneads
aren't bright enough...

To be doing this dastardly
deed on their own, sir.

I'll do the "daresayin'"
around here, Mansfield.

Very good, sir.

I daresay the Sneads don't seem
bright enough to be doing this...

Dastardly...
Deed by themselves, Mansfield.

Excellent observation, sir.
Yeah.

We'd best get into town.
I got a hunch who the real
scheming skunk is.

Hop aboard.

Wh-where am I going now?
Up the mountain.

Just as soon as you refresh
yourself with a little water.

W-water?
I'm a walking sponge
right now, and a cold one.

Don't matter.
One of the rules.

I mean, uh, you know, it's for the
well-being of both contestants.

Why, you saw Wild Billy
take his, didn't ya?

Well, if-if-if Billy...

- Mountain water.
- [ Gags ] I've never...

I've... I've never tasted
water like this before.

Th-th-that's the funniest
stuff I've ever had.

You know, it's, uh...
It's not bad.

Yes, it... it certainly...
Certainly got rid of those shivers.

[ Gagging ]

You know, I kinda like it.

A man water drink,
oughta... more often.

I like visitin' with ya, neighbor,
but you better catch Wild Billy.

You gentlemen mind if I take this
little old water jug with me?

Why, I think that'd be all right.
Good.

Hey, mister!
That's not the mountain!

That's the river!
Oh, that's right, yes.

The mountain and the river.

The mountain.
I'll start right on up.

"Eli groggy,

[ cheering ]

But right behind Wild Billy."

[ Groaning ]

You think Eli can win?
Against a stacked deck?

We better find out
what they're up to.

[ Ragsdale ]
Now, if you don't get
that preacher on the mountain,

you make sure you get
him at Devil's Gorge.

I told ya, quit worryin'.
Ain't no possible way
he can get by that gorge.

Ain't no possible way!
That's good, that's good.

All right, now, here's the
gravy that I promised you.

Now, after you get rid of that
psalm singer... Pay attention!

We're plannin' a little
dynamite party...

For Wild Billy at Dead Man's Pass.

Wild Billy?
Yup!

You wanna get rid of Wild Billy too?
Yeah!

I don't know.
That's something else again.
No, no, wait.

You see,
I've doctored that will.

You see, if nobody wins, then
the money and the saloon,

the whole town goes to the executor
of that will, and that's me.

Now, you and your brothers
bein' my partners,

why, you'll get, uh...

Uh, uh, half.

Well, now do you wanna
bump off Wild Billy?

[ Snickering ]
Does a coyote like to howl?
All right, all right.

Now, here's where he likes to come
down the trail. Right here, see?

Right there.
That's where you put
the dynamite. There!

Got it.
Okay.

[ Snead ]
This is gonna be a cinch.

[ Ragsdale ]
All right, now, let's go.

Come on.

Sir!
Let go, Mansfield!

They're gonna get my sons...
Over my dead body!

But, sir, there must be
another way of handling this.

Mansfield, would you
take your hands off...

- [ Gunshot ]
- [ Neighs ]

Where have you two been?
I've been looking all over...

They're gonna get
brother Eli! Hyah!

Whoa! What?
Wild Billy too!

With dynamite at Dead Man's Pass!
We gotta hurry!

Wait a minute.
We don't have time
for you not to believe us.

I mean, "wait a minute,
I'm going with you." Hyah!

Good goin', Billy.
You made it.

Well, what did you
expect?

Well, I always figured
that you'd be first, but I...
[ Eli singing ]

Can you hear
somebody singin'?

Yeah. Real pretty.
[ Singing continues ]

It's that blasted bulldog.

♪ Play ♪

♪ Where seldom is heard ♪

♪ A discouraging word ♪

One, two, three!
♪ And skies are not ♪

♪ cloudy all day ♪

♪ Home, home one, two, ♪

Three!
♪ On the range ♪

[ grunts ]

♪ Where the deer and ♪
♪ the thingambobs play ♪

[ Straining ]
♪ where seldom ♪

♪ Is heard ♪

Come on.
We'll get him.

♪ A discouraging word and ♪
♪ the skies are not cloudy ♪

Ohh!

Yodel-ay-ee-hee! Hmm!

Yodel-ay-ee-hee!

Come on.
Here he comes.

[ Humming ]

Now!

Oh! I wonder where
they came from.

Biggest hailstones
I've ever seen.

Boy, he's slipperier than a dad-gum snake.
[ Growls ]

Mmm! Mmm! Ah!

This has gotta do it.

I'll tell ya when.
Right.

[ Coughing ]

Okay.

[ Grunting ]

Ohh.

Ohh.

The-the world trembles
at your beauty.

Don't tell me
we missed him again.

We'll get him...
At the gorge.

That's the way!
Keep it up! You're doin' terrific!

Congratulations, Billy.

Why, with the lead you got, you could
let them horses ride you and still win.

That stall-fed tenderfoot, he got
no business bein' in the race.

[ Man ]
But he hasn't come by yet,

so you don't have
anything to worry about.

Yeah... wha...?

Hello, Billy!

Now, how does that hymn
Hummer keep a-doin' it?

The team's
just up the hill.

That's the skinniest-looking
bridge I've-I've ever seen.

Yee-ha!

Uh, uh... ohh.

[ Man ]
Eli, what are you doing?

Not that-a-way!
Hand over hand!

You mean...
Yeah! Hand over hand!

No! You don't
understand!

You don't have
to walk on 'em!

Ohh!

[ Groaning ]

Come on!
You can make it!

- No, he can't!
- [ Screams ]

Hey, preacher, how do
you like the view?

[ Laughing ]

This is no time to be
lying down on the job!

[ Laughing ]

Help!
Yeah, boys, help him out!

[ Laughing ]

What do you think
you're doing?

After you.

[ Men laughing ]
Go on! Get that other surprise
ready up at Dead Man's Pass.

This hombre's a goner!

Okay, boss.
You bet.

Whoa!

♪ Rock of ages cleft for me ♪

Come on.
We've got work to do.

You ain't never gonna
make it, preacher!

Take a long look down and say
your last prayer, preacher!

[ Laughing ]

Amen! Adios!

There's nothin' like a
well-aimed rock, Mansfield.

Eli!

If only I could
help you, son.

Mansfield, have you
gone plumb loco?

Oww! Ohh!

[ Marcus ]
Get him, Roxanne!
Hit him! Hit him!

Oww! Ohh!

Good. We did it.

Yeah! We went over a lot
easier than I thought.

He sure did.
Look!

[ Roxanne ]
Oh, no!

Hang on, Eli!

[ Screams ]

Eli! Eli!
Hurry! Hurry!

Oh, thank heaven.
Hang on, Eli.

Yeah, hang on!
We'll save you!

[ Snapping ]

Help me up.

Quick, Jenny,
the rope!

[ Snapping ]
Aah!

Here, Eli!

[ Roxanne ]
All right, hit him!

Yah!
Go! Hyah!

- [ Roxanne ] Let go, Eli!
- Eli, let go!

[ Jenny ]
Is he all right?

That mountain water sure
makes you do funny things.
Eli, we came to warn you.

- Ragsdale's with the Sneads!
- They're out to get Wild Billy
too, at Dead Man's Pass.

Ragsdale will get everything.
So you've gotta win!

Right now the only thing I've got
to do is to save my brother's life.

This map shows the dynamite and
where's the Sneads are gonna be.

You'll lose the race to save
someone who hates you.
And you've gone so far.

Well, isn't that what we're
supposed to do, Marcus?

Help anybody
who needs saving, hmm?

Yeah, I guess so.
Come on.

- Come on!
- [ Sighs ] Come on.

Hey, you two!
Wait for us!

Tallyho.

Gee-yup.
Give me those.

[ Whistles ]
Hyah!

- Aah! Ohh!
- Look out!

[ Eli ]
Everybody in the back!

Quickly!
Oh, no!

Is everybody all right?
[ Marcus ] Yeah, Jenny.

[ Jenny ] Eli, look at that.
[ Marcus ] Yeah, what is it?

[ Roxanne ] It's the Sneads.
[ Marcus ] Yeah.

See anything?
No. No sign of him yet.

The lookout has the rifle.

Eli can handle him.
I hope so.

We've got to him away
from that plunger.

If he falls on it, the whole
mountainside will go.

I got an idea.
Oh, really?

You get behind that rock.
Right.

Stay here.
I'll be right back.

Now cover it up.

All right.

Huh!

Why, you little dad-gum...

Now!

Billy, get back!
Get back! Get...

Whoa! Whoa!

[ Screams ]
Let go of my hair!

Get off of me, you little...
Hold it!

Just keep him buttoned up.

Billy!

- Pete, get on that plunger.
- Yeah, boss.

Did he hear him?
I don't know.
I'm not sure.

Ain't a bad swap, huh?
Two brothers for a fortune.

Git.

Hey, he's a-movin'.

When he gets to the mine,

they both get it.

Shall I help you
steady the rifle, sir?

Only when I decide to aim
it at you, Mansfield.

[ Pete ]
He's gettin' pretty close, boss.

[ Boss snead ]
All right. Get ready.

Should I blow it now?
No, not yet.

Ready?

[ Screams ]
Billy! Dynamite!

- Get him!
- Get down!

Where is he?

[ Marcus ] Yahoo!
[ Roxanne ] Yea!

I got him, Eli,
I got him!

You? It was Jenny.
I don't think it was me.

I think it was the...
Oh, no!

[ Rumbling ]
Uh, I don't know what that was, folks.

It could've been thunder,
maybe a small earthquake.

But one thing I do know, a winner
could be comin' in any minute now.

[ Crowd murmuring ]

Oh, Eli.
I've got to find out.

Billy! Billy!

Billy!

Billy! Billy! Bi...

Are you just gonna stand
there caterwaulin' all day?

Thank heaven you're safe!

I mighta knowed it.
Never trust a Bible binder.

You went and
ruined everything.

What?
The will says,
"May the best man win."

Now I ain't so sure
I am the best man.

Look, you've got to...
You saved my life!

Now, how am I gonna whip
a man who saves my life?

Billy, Ragsdale set us
both up to be killed,

and he's gonna get all the
money if nobody wins the race.

Ragsdale?

That snivelin' sneak!

Then one of us
has gotta win.

[ Applause, cheering ]

Thank you, sheriff.
Thank you. Thank you, boys.

Thank you, ladies and gentlemen,
all my loyal constituents.

Now then, as executor
of the estate of the late,

great, beloved
Jasper Bloodshy,

I was fully prepared
to turn over his entire...

Every last cent
of that fortune...

To whichever brother wins,
whichever one comes in.

But, uh, seems to me that
if there is to be a winner,

he should've been here
a long time ago, hmm?

Matter of fact,
it has occurred to me...

As I am sure it has occurred
to each and every one of you...

That some unforeseen,
dire tragedy...

Has befallen those two...
Those two fine young men.

Let's take him too!
No, no. Come on.

However...
However, there is a, uh,
provision in the will...

Which states that if
there is no winner,

then the entire fortune
goes to...

Rider a-comin'!

A rider coming. What?
[ Crowd murmuring ]

Who is it? Who is it?

I don't believe it.

Are you sure
that's the preacher?

It's Eli! He's won!

[ Crowd cheering ]

You're safe! How's Billy?
Eli, we knew you could do it!

Where's Ragsdale?

There he goes!
With as much money
as he can get away with!

- Hold it, Ragsdale!
- Hyah! Come on!
Giddap! Get outta here!

Move it! Hyah!

Hey, Eli, you're shootin'
just like Wild Billy!

Come back here, you consarned, yellow-bellied,
lily-livered, two-timin' polecat!

[ Gunshot ]

Eli isn't Eli.
Eli's Wild Billy.

[ Man ]
Another rider comin'!

[ Man #2 ]
Now, which one's this?
Is it Eli or Billy?

There's Eli... I think.

Brother, I'd like
a word with you.

I said, "Brother,
I'd like a word with you."

Later! Swing me up!

I'm ready, rattlesnake.

Let's make it
clean and fast.

All right.
We'll count to three.

I'm gonna get you,
Ragsdale!

Marcus, what are you doing?
Oh, no!

Hey, what is this? Get...
Get-get that off me!

Don't see any way
you can trick me this time.

[ Chuckling ]

One!

Two!

Get it off me!
What is this thing?
Get it away!

Three!

[ Ragsdale yelling ]

Hold on!

Come on, you can get him!
Get him, Eli! He's a crook!

He stole the money!

Look out!
Come on!
Aaah!

Tarnation!

Marcus,
are you all right?

That was great!
What?

Here he comes, Mansfield!

The dirty fly
into the spider's web!

Stand back, Mansfield,
and see how the west was won.

Great jumpin'...
Jasper's ghost!

[ Ragsdale ]
Ah! It's a ghost! It's a ghost!

Not yet,
you two-timin' tinhorn!

I can't be seein' this.
I know I'm not seein' this!

- Get off me!
- Nothin' doin', Ragsdale!
I'm takin' ya with me!

I take everything back!
Forgive me!
I'll give you the money back!

Too late,
you whinin' weasel!

I'll see you in jail if it's
the last thing I ever do!

It was the old man, I tell you.
I saw him!

He... I tell you, it was the
strangest thing I ever saw.

He came floatin' down in a white sheet.
Floatin' down!

Bats have taken over the belfry.

You gotta believe me.
You gotta believe me, sheriff!
Somebody's gotta believe!

Listen, cuckoo head, you start
that story one more time,

there'll be two ghosts
and you'll be one of 'em!

I'm late for that ceremony.

Deputy, get in here and
keep an eye on the prisoner.

Right, chief.
D-D-Deputy?

You gotta believe me, man!
You gotta bel...

[ Applause ]
And so... and so my brother and I...

Have decided
to share the money...

And use it
to make a new town.

A town a whole lot different than
the one you've been used to.

And if anybody
has any other ideas,

they're gonna have to answer to m...
Ahem!

My brother Eli.

It's going to be a town
I hope you'll all be proud of.

I know I'm going to be
proud of the new church...

And the new school
we're building,

a new school
for our children,

yours and mine.

He means us.
We've got a father.

And I'll tell you something else.
Not only will these children...

Have the best teacher
in the west,

they'll have the prettiest one
they've ever seen.

Of course, I may be
a little prejudiced.

I think we're gettin'
a mother too.

I can't rightly recollect ever
seein' the whole town together...

With folks a-smilin' at each
other instead of shootin'.

[ Crowd agreeing ]
You know, I think this is
a fitting moment now...

To pay tribute to the one man
who made all this possible:

Our father, Jasper Bloodshy.

It's too bad he couldn't have lived
to see his last wish come true.

Amen, brother.
But if you'll all join in with me now,

singing "Something Good
is Bound to Happen,"

I guarantee
no matter where he is,

he'll be happy
at this very moment.

[ Piano ]

♪ Something good is bound to happen ♪
♪ when love is in your heart ♪

♪ For love and human kindness is ♪
♪ where good things always start ♪

♪ There's goodness ♪
♪ in your neighbors ♪

♪ There's goodness close at hand ♪
shh!

Don't shush me,
you British buzzard!

Can't a man sing
when he's happy?

Of course, sir.
Then you might reconsider
and make an appearance.

And send the whole town off to
the looney bin like Ragsdale?

No, I finished what I set
out to do, Mansfield.

It's time to move on.
Where to, sir?

To a place I ain't seen for
years, Mansfield: Cactus Ridge.

Cactus Ridge?
Why Cactus Ridge, sir?

Now I've straightened out
my sons Wild Billy and Eli,

I gotta go and see how my daughters
Calico Kate and Wildcat Winnie are doin'.

Let's go, Mansfield!

Very good, sir.

♪ Over all this blessed land ♪
Giddap! Giddap!

- Mornin', sheriff!
- Mornin', Mr. Bloodshy.

♪ Something good is bound to happen ♪

♪ When love is in your heart ♪

♪ For love and human kindness is ♪
♪ where goodness always starts ♪

♪ There's goodness ♪
♪ in your neighbors ♪

♪ There's goodness ♪
♪ close at hand ♪

♪ Oh, let's spread all the goodness ♪
♪ over all this blessed land ♪

♪ Blessed land ♪
♪ blessed land ♪

♪ Blessed land ♪
♪ blessed land ♪

♪ Over all this blessed land ♪

♪ Blessed land ♪
♪ blessed land ♪

♪ Blessed land ♪
♪ blessed land ♪

♪ Over all this blessed land ♪