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"CURB YOUR ENTHUSIASM"
THEME MUSIC PLAYING...
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Jake Blum's office.
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Oh, hey!
Larry David calling for Jake.
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00:00:16,890 --> 00:00:19,602
- Oh, hey, Larry, how are ya?
- Oh. Couldn't be better.
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00:00:19,686 --> 00:00:21,980
Oh, good.
Hey, I read the script.
6
00:00:23,898 --> 00:00:26,546
Yeah?
7
00:00:26,776 --> 00:00:29,570
- Oh, yeah. Um...
- Ah, you read the script.
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- I d... I did.
- Well, congratulations.
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- You can read. That's so great.
- Hey, did you call earlier?
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Our phones have been down
all day.
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Yeah, I was calling to see
if Jake had converted.
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Ba-dump-bump.
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00:00:42,667 --> 00:00:44,251
- What's that?
- Ba-dump-bump.
14
00:00:44,335 --> 00:00:46,250
- You know?
- Hmm, yeah.
15
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That's what I thought you did.
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- I'll get Jake for ya.
- Yeah and while you're at it,
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00:00:50,049 --> 00:00:52,426
maybe you can think
of an adjective for the script.
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00:00:52,510 --> 00:00:55,638
Jake, I've
got Larry David on the phone for you.
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- Larry, bubbie. How are ya?
- Good.
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00:00:58,057 --> 00:01:00,309
Listen, we have to recast
the young Larry part
21
00:01:00,393 --> 00:01:02,144
and, uh, it's gonna take
a couple of weeks
22
00:01:02,228 --> 00:01:03,479
before we can start rehearsal.
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Okay. It's your show.
We're just paying for it.
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00:01:05,982 --> 00:01:08,067
Thank you.
I appreciate that. By the way,
25
00:01:08,151 --> 00:01:09,402
your, uh, assistant...
26
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- gave me a, "Ba-dump-bump."
- "Ba-dump-bump?"
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Yeah, like I'm a comic
in the Catskills.
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By the way, she is on the call.
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Oh, for fuck's sake.
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Hi, Larry. I'm...
I'm still here, so...
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Why is she on the phone?
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She's my assistant, Larry.
She takes notes,
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- that's part of the gig.
- No! It's not part of the gig.
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She's not a court stenographer.
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I've taken notes on all...
All of your calls, just a FYI.
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Get off the phone.
Jake, get her off the phone.
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Should I be writing all this,
Jake?
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No, you should get
the fuck off the phone.
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00:01:37,263 --> 00:01:39,443
- I'm getting... I'm off. Okay.
- Hang up.
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00:01:39,528 --> 00:01:40,809
- She's hanging up, Larry.
- I'm off of the phone.
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- She's hanging up.
- Everything is off.
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00:01:43,019 --> 00:01:45,354
- I think she's off now.
- Don't ever do that to me again.
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I'm sorry about that. So,
what do you wanna talk about?
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- I already told you.
- I... I don't remember.
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00:01:50,985 --> 00:01:52,611
You might
wanna check your notes.
46
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Without Jimmy Mayhew,
47
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it is not the result we wanted.
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You can just kiss goodbye
to the fertilizer run up bill.
49
00:02:01,538 --> 00:02:03,330
See you later, guys.
50
00:02:03,414 --> 00:02:04,457
Bye.
51
00:02:05,208 --> 00:02:08,294
What? Oh, my God. You?
52
00:02:08,378 --> 00:02:11,714
I am so sorry
about the election.
53
00:02:11,798 --> 00:02:14,425
- One vote. Your fault.
- I've learned my lesson.
54
00:02:14,509 --> 00:02:15,885
-Every vote counts
-Every vote counts.
55
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It's really sunk in.
Anyway, I'm awfully sorry.
56
00:02:18,972 --> 00:02:20,807
Uh, I... I got these for you.
57
00:02:25,103 --> 00:02:28,022
You know, I've missed you.
I... I was watching
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00:02:28,106 --> 00:02:30,649
the House of Representatives
on C-SPAN,
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00:02:30,733 --> 00:02:32,610
and it made me think of you.
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00:02:32,694 --> 00:02:34,737
Then I watched
Mr. Smith Goes to Washington
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00:02:34,821 --> 00:02:36,405
with Jimmy Stewart,
in the filibuster
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and I was thinking to myself,
"I bet Irma would be
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- a great filibusteress."
- Thank you.
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00:02:41,244 --> 00:02:42,369
Yeah.
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00:02:42,453 --> 00:02:45,998
But I'm still mad at you.
So mad, so disappointed.
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00:02:46,082 --> 00:02:48,709
Everybody is disappointed
at me at some point.
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00:02:48,793 --> 00:02:50,503
But you know what?
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00:02:50,587 --> 00:02:53,881
I'd love to be friends again.
Can I take you out to dinner
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00:02:53,965 --> 00:02:56,175
and make it up to you
with a big sumptuous,
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- expensive meal?
- Okay.
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00:02:59,095 --> 00:03:01,931
- You can call me.
- Yeah.
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00:03:03,933 --> 00:03:06,936
But not tonight.
I'm finishing a cleanse.
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00:03:07,020 --> 00:03:09,980
- I'm preparing for colonoscopy.
- Huh.
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One vote.
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You're gonna get
that law repealed, I know it.
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00:03:20,033 --> 00:03:22,910
Well, the recasting's buying us
some extra time, which is great,
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- yeah. And when I called Jake...
- Yeah.
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00:03:25,121 --> 00:03:26,914
...his assistant, Carly,
answered the phone.
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00:03:26,998 --> 00:03:30,292
- She gave me a, "Ba-dump-bump."
- Yeah, Carly likes that.
80
00:03:30,376 --> 00:03:33,254
- Carly likes that?
- I kinda think it's adorable.
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00:03:33,880 --> 00:03:35,130
Hmm.
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00:03:35,214 --> 00:03:36,757
- Something you wanna ask me?
- No, I... I...
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- 'Cause I'll tell you if you ask me.
- You don't have to tell me
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00:03:39,010 --> 00:03:40,803
- 'cause I already know.
- That's why I'm buying
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00:03:40,887 --> 00:03:44,181
this stupid, fresh cut lilac
bath and body wash
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00:03:44,265 --> 00:03:46,851
because Carly smells like that.
I'm with her,
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00:03:46,935 --> 00:03:50,312
if Susie smells it on me,
she'll get suspicious.
88
00:03:50,396 --> 00:03:52,356
So, I'm gonna have it
in the house.
89
00:03:52,440 --> 00:03:55,442
- And be using it all the time.
- Well, that's a brilliant move.
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00:03:55,526 --> 00:03:58,737
Yeah, you better get used
to me smelling like a lilac.
91
00:03:58,821 --> 00:04:01,949
What's going on over here?
Shouldn't she be moving up?
92
00:04:02,033 --> 00:04:03,742
Isn't that how a line works?
93
00:04:03,826 --> 00:04:05,202
- Yep.
- I don't like a big gap in the line.
94
00:04:05,286 --> 00:04:06,871
You wanna feel
like a line is moving.
95
00:04:06,955 --> 00:04:08,998
Otherwise, physiologically,
it's bad. Right?
96
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I'm languishing back here.
Maybe I'll say something.
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Don't.
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Excuse me? Excuse me?
Uh, would... could you...
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00:04:18,091 --> 00:04:20,509
Would you mind moving up
in the line a bit?
100
00:04:20,593 --> 00:04:24,054
No, I'm good. Maybe
just worry about yourself.
101
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Well, I... I mean,
you're on the line,
102
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you have a responsibility as a
person on a line to keep the line moving.
103
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You're not holding up
your end of the bargain.
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Would you tell somebody
that was a white man
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- to just move up?
- Yeah, in a second.
106
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- Sure, of course.
- Oh, so this is racial. Is that what this is?
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Sir, you know what?
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I'm gonna actually need you
to get in the back of the line.
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- Or... or you can leave.
- What? Are you kidding?
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Oh, oh, please.
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- Th-there-there's a big...
- Get in the back of the line.
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Racial? Oh, please.
113
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- Come on.
- Come on, you're harassing her.
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Just get back,
would you do that?
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In 2021.
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- I'm so sorry about that.
- What did I do? I asked somebody
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to move up in line.
118
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I tap her on the shoulder
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and you would've thought
I called her the "N" word.
120
00:05:02,135 --> 00:05:05,179
She thought I was a racist,
everybody else thought I was a racist.
121
00:05:05,263 --> 00:05:08,140
Just because I asked her
to move up. It's crazy.
122
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- Hmm. It is racist.
- What?
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00:05:10,351 --> 00:05:11,644
- Of course.
- Get out of here.
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Only a Black person
would tell another Black person,
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- and they'd move the fuck up.
- Oh, that's ridiculous.
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You out of your lane.
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You swerved
out of your fucking lane.
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Stay in your lane.
That's fucking racist.
129
00:05:21,112 --> 00:05:23,530
No, it's the opposite of racist.
Treating someone differently
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because of the color
of their skin, that's racist.
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00:05:25,950 --> 00:05:29,536
- What I did was anti-racist.
- No, no, no. That's not racism.
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It's audacity.
You had the fucking audacity.
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00:05:33,875 --> 00:05:35,709
You shouldn't have asked
that lady to move up
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in your fucking white condition.
Now, if I was with you,
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00:05:39,088 --> 00:05:41,590
I would say, "Hey, sister.
Would you move the fuck up."
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- And she would move up.
- So, you would ask her?
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It's gotta be Black on Black.
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00:05:44,761 --> 00:05:46,762
If I'm standing there
and a white dude come up to me
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and tap my shoulder,
"Hey, buddy. Hey, pal.
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Could you move up a little bit?"
I'd say, "Man,
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- get the fuck out my face."
- Is that right?
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00:05:52,351 --> 00:05:53,811
- I'll move when I'm fucking ready.
- Oh.
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00:05:53,895 --> 00:05:56,397
Now, if said person
was a bald-ass white man...
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00:05:56,481 --> 00:05:58,357
You can't ask the bald guy
to move up, but I can.
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00:05:58,441 --> 00:06:00,234
I wouldn't do it.
I wouldn't say shit to him.
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00:06:00,318 --> 00:06:01,902
But you go up there...
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00:06:01,986 --> 00:06:04,071
- Y'all got something in common.
- So, bald on bald.
148
00:06:04,155 --> 00:06:05,739
- Bald on bald.
- Jew on Jew.
149
00:06:05,823 --> 00:06:07,783
- Jew on Jew is cool too. See?
- Yeah.
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00:06:07,867 --> 00:06:09,076
Mm-hmm.
151
00:06:09,160 --> 00:06:11,745
Oh, that's the plumber.
I gotta talk to him.
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00:06:11,829 --> 00:06:13,372
♪
153
00:06:13,456 --> 00:06:16,000
All right, got some bad news.
You're gonna have to replace
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00:06:16,084 --> 00:06:18,002
the whole filtration system,
top to bottom.
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00:06:18,086 --> 00:06:19,253
- What?
- Ouch.
156
00:06:19,337 --> 00:06:21,130
Seriously?
I just did it three years ago.
157
00:06:21,214 --> 00:06:23,257
Well, usually warranty's
between three and ten years.
158
00:06:23,341 --> 00:06:24,550
Wait a minute. Wait, wait, wait.
Where the fuck
159
00:06:24,634 --> 00:06:25,843
- is other seven years goin' at?
- I mean, I don't know
160
00:06:25,927 --> 00:06:27,553
what happened,
I don't know who you hired.
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00:06:27,637 --> 00:06:29,847
It's a bad job
and if you don't fix it,
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00:06:29,931 --> 00:06:32,474
they'll be flooding
and even worse.
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00:06:32,558 --> 00:06:33,642
- Shit.
- All right. So, um,
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00:06:33,726 --> 00:06:35,227
when do you think
you can do this by?
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00:06:35,311 --> 00:06:37,813
Uh, by the end of the
week. We'll figure something out.
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00:06:37,897 --> 00:06:40,107
All right, I'll call you
when the parts come in.
167
00:06:40,191 --> 00:06:42,693
- Mmm.
- What are you doing?
168
00:06:42,777 --> 00:06:45,237
Something just ain't right, man.
169
00:06:45,321 --> 00:06:48,741
- Let me go talk to this guy real quick.
- Okay, sure.
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00:06:48,825 --> 00:06:51,535
Hey, roto-rooter. Come on, man.
What's going down here?
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00:06:51,619 --> 00:06:52,829
What's really going down?
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00:06:55,957 --> 00:06:58,167
Come on, man. You got to do
somethin' better than this, man.
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00:06:58,251 --> 00:07:00,335
You can't come up here
and throw that shit on us, man.
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00:07:00,419 --> 00:07:01,879
- My man, get that right.
- All right
175
00:07:01,963 --> 00:07:04,048
- You got me?
- I got you. I got you.
176
00:07:05,341 --> 00:07:08,093
- Done and done. You good.
- Wh... what'd you say?
177
00:07:08,177 --> 00:07:09,595
I told him
to stop fucking around.
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00:07:09,679 --> 00:07:12,139
It's a 50-dollar valve.
I had to set his ass straight.
179
00:07:12,223 --> 00:07:14,308
He was gonna fuck you
with sandpaper, you understand?
180
00:07:14,392 --> 00:07:18,312
Hold it. So, this whole job
is getting done for 50 dollars,
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00:07:18,396 --> 00:07:19,813
is that what you trying
to tell me?
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00:07:19,897 --> 00:07:21,982
- Mm-hmm.
- Okay, first of all,
183
00:07:22,066 --> 00:07:24,485
thank you. But it's kind
of sickening in a way
184
00:07:24,569 --> 00:07:26,570
that I can get gouged like that.
185
00:07:26,654 --> 00:07:28,489
They do that shit to you
'cause you don't know better.
186
00:07:28,573 --> 00:07:31,325
People are being taken
advantage of all the time.
187
00:07:31,409 --> 00:07:34,078
You have somebody like
me around, who knows shit.
188
00:07:34,162 --> 00:07:35,496
I will read through
that bullshit.
189
00:07:35,580 --> 00:07:37,539
You know what you are? You're...
You're like a househusband.
190
00:07:37,623 --> 00:07:40,209
Yeah. That's what the fuck I am.
A person who's here
191
00:07:40,293 --> 00:07:43,170
- to point out the bullshit.
- Oh, my God. I got a great idea.
192
00:07:43,254 --> 00:07:44,463
Mm-hmm.
193
00:07:44,547 --> 00:07:45,964
When them motherfuckin'
eyebrows go up,
194
00:07:46,048 --> 00:07:47,341
that's some bullshit
coming down.
195
00:07:47,425 --> 00:07:49,093
What is it? Give it to me.
196
00:07:49,177 --> 00:07:51,637
A business called
"House Husband."
197
00:07:51,721 --> 00:07:55,432
So people call you
whenever they're in a situation
198
00:07:55,516 --> 00:07:57,101
where they could be
taken advantage of
199
00:07:57,185 --> 00:07:59,103
by a mechanic, by a plumber,
by an electrician...
200
00:07:59,187 --> 00:08:01,063
- Oh.
- ...and you save that person
201
00:08:01,147 --> 00:08:02,689
- tons of money.
- They need a motherfucker
202
00:08:02,773 --> 00:08:04,441
who knows a little bit
about everything
203
00:08:04,525 --> 00:08:07,194
- and a lot about nothing.
- They need a househusband.
204
00:08:07,278 --> 00:08:09,029
- Fuck right.
- You know, it's a little sexist,
205
00:08:09,113 --> 00:08:11,073
- the name, House Husband, but...
- Right.
206
00:08:11,157 --> 00:08:13,033
...listen,
I would avail myself of it.
207
00:08:13,117 --> 00:08:14,201
- Fuck, yeah.
- I'm a guy...
208
00:08:14,285 --> 00:08:15,744
Love that idea.
I fucking love it.
209
00:08:15,828 --> 00:08:17,371
Already fucking done.
210
00:08:21,918 --> 00:08:22,918
- Hey.
- Hey.
211
00:08:23,002 --> 00:08:24,628
Got a second?
I'd love to talk to ya.
212
00:08:24,712 --> 00:08:26,547
Yeah, sure. Come on in.
213
00:08:26,631 --> 00:08:27,882
Thank you.
214
00:08:29,217 --> 00:08:31,636
All right. What's going on?
215
00:08:32,511 --> 00:08:34,638
This is awkward, but...
216
00:08:34,722 --> 00:08:37,349
Maria Sofia.
What's the deal with her?
217
00:08:37,433 --> 00:08:39,601
- What do you mean?
- Are you fucking her?
218
00:08:39,685 --> 00:08:41,353
No!
219
00:08:41,437 --> 00:08:43,522
- No way...
- Are you fucking her mother?
220
00:08:43,606 --> 00:08:45,816
No, get out of here.
"Fucking her mother..."
221
00:08:45,900 --> 00:08:48,986
Well, you're fucking me, man.
I ca... I can't work with her.
222
00:08:49,070 --> 00:08:50,946
This is my career too.
If I share the screen
223
00:08:51,030 --> 00:08:53,824
with that... that... - Don't
worry, it's only temporary.
224
00:08:53,908 --> 00:08:54,992
I promise you.
225
00:08:55,076 --> 00:08:56,910
The situation's being resolved.
226
00:08:56,994 --> 00:09:00,622
- I'm taking steps...
- Hold on. Cheryl. Hey, Cheryl.
227
00:09:00,706 --> 00:09:02,166
How much did this repair cost?
228
00:09:02,250 --> 00:09:04,877
I don't... I don't know.
I'm not a mechanic.
229
00:09:04,961 --> 00:09:06,587
If he says you need
a new transmission,
230
00:09:06,671 --> 00:09:08,839
you probably do.
How much is it gonna cost?
231
00:09:08,923 --> 00:09:10,257
Over 4,000.
232
00:09:10,341 --> 00:09:12,092
- Are you kidding me?
- No, that's just for starters.
233
00:09:12,176 --> 00:09:15,429
Well, that's crazy.
They see you coming a mile away,
234
00:09:15,513 --> 00:09:16,972
and I don't know what to do,
I know...
235
00:09:17,056 --> 00:09:18,807
I know less than you do
about cars.
236
00:09:18,891 --> 00:09:20,309
- I know!
- All right. All right.
237
00:09:20,393 --> 00:09:22,436
I'll be there in a second.
I gotta go.
238
00:09:22,520 --> 00:09:24,229
The guy says she's gonna
have to replace...
239
00:09:24,313 --> 00:09:25,480
It's just a little rattle...
240
00:09:25,564 --> 00:09:28,609
- The whole transmission...
- Okay, hold on. Leon!
241
00:09:28,693 --> 00:09:30,485
- Leon?
- What's cracking?
242
00:09:30,569 --> 00:09:31,820
The mechanic
is telling Cheryl
243
00:09:31,904 --> 00:09:33,989
she needs a new transmission,
I think it's a job
244
00:09:34,073 --> 00:09:35,490
- for house husband.
- "House husband?"
245
00:09:35,574 --> 00:09:36,950
- Yes.
- That's right.
246
00:09:37,034 --> 00:09:39,119
He's got a new business called
House Husband. This is his job.
247
00:09:39,203 --> 00:09:41,288
I don't want you to go over there
and get fucked. You understand?
248
00:09:41,372 --> 00:09:42,998
Cheryl is beautiful,
you a handsome-ass devil.
249
00:09:43,082 --> 00:09:44,416
He gon' take advantage
of your ass.
250
00:09:44,500 --> 00:09:47,002
He just saved me 100s of dollars
with a plumber.
251
00:09:47,086 --> 00:09:48,337
If I'm there,
there's no way
252
00:09:48,421 --> 00:09:50,088
he'll take advantage
of your ass. That money goes
253
00:09:50,172 --> 00:09:51,340
back in your fucking pocket.
254
00:09:51,424 --> 00:09:52,674
And some to me, of course.
255
00:09:52,758 --> 00:09:55,510
- Hey, can you go right now?
- Fuck, yeah. I'm already there.
256
00:09:55,594 --> 00:09:57,138
All right, let's do this shit.
257
00:09:58,597 --> 00:10:00,516
Hey, we still need to talk.
258
00:10:05,104 --> 00:10:08,148
After seeing that movie,
I'm never eating octopus again.
259
00:10:11,527 --> 00:10:13,153
- Yeah.
- How are you enjoying the wine?
260
00:10:13,237 --> 00:10:14,238
Oh, fabulous.
261
00:10:14,322 --> 00:10:15,656
Have you decided
on any appetizers?
262
00:10:15,740 --> 00:10:18,659
- Yeah, I'd like the bruschetta.
- The bruschetta, you got it.
263
00:10:18,743 --> 00:10:20,327
- I would advise against that.
- Why?
264
00:10:20,411 --> 00:10:23,580
You get little bits of tomato
on a piece of hard bread.
265
00:10:23,664 --> 00:10:24,998
- They pile it up...
- Yeah?
266
00:10:25,082 --> 00:10:26,583
You take a bite it all falls,
267
00:10:26,667 --> 00:10:28,335
they're very
structurally unsound.
268
00:10:28,419 --> 00:10:31,129
Can you bring an extra lay
of bread for the bruschetta.
269
00:10:31,213 --> 00:10:32,547
That would just be
a tomato sandwich.
270
00:10:32,631 --> 00:10:34,341
He's kind a crazy. Sorry.
271
00:10:34,425 --> 00:10:36,093
- Okay. And for you sir?
- A market salad.
272
00:10:36,177 --> 00:10:37,636
A market salad, you got it.
273
00:10:37,720 --> 00:10:40,055
Market salad.
He hates us.
274
00:10:40,139 --> 00:10:43,850
- I do not like him at all.
- He hates me. Did you see... He hates.
275
00:10:43,934 --> 00:10:45,018
- What did we do?
- Hi.
276
00:10:45,102 --> 00:10:46,186
- Oh, my God. Hi.
- Hi, hi, hi!
277
00:10:46,270 --> 00:10:47,396
- Oh.
- I'm sorry to interrupt.
278
00:10:47,480 --> 00:10:48,939
- Hi.
- This is my daughter.
279
00:10:49,023 --> 00:10:50,482
- Hi.
- Deidre, this is Larry.
280
00:10:50,566 --> 00:10:52,359
- It's so nice to meet you.
- What a... what a pleasure.
281
00:10:52,443 --> 00:10:53,777
- Deidre?
- Yes. Nice to meet you.
282
00:10:53,861 --> 00:10:55,821
Deidre not "Deer-dra?"
Nice to meet you.
283
00:10:55,905 --> 00:10:57,489
Um, I know Susie Greene,
by the way,
284
00:10:57,573 --> 00:10:59,032
- who's great.
- Uh, great.
285
00:10:59,116 --> 00:11:01,702
I don't know about great.
Maybe good. Great, uh...
286
00:11:01,786 --> 00:11:03,537
you know, Gandhi was great,
Churchill, great.
287
00:11:03,621 --> 00:11:05,872
- Yeah.
- Gorbachev, for my money, great.
288
00:11:05,956 --> 00:11:08,625
But Susie Greene, I don't know
if anybody's ever described her
289
00:11:08,709 --> 00:11:10,002
- as "Great."
- He's funny.
290
00:11:10,086 --> 00:11:11,586
- Yeah. He's fun.
- He's funny.
291
00:11:11,670 --> 00:11:13,755
He could be very funny.
So, how is the house?
292
00:11:13,839 --> 00:11:15,299
Oh, God. He can't figure it out.
293
00:11:15,383 --> 00:11:16,842
What do you mean
he can't figure it out?
294
00:11:16,926 --> 00:11:19,344
He... he's an electrician who
doesn't know how to fix electricity.
295
00:11:19,428 --> 00:11:20,804
It's all terrible
and none of it is working,
296
00:11:20,888 --> 00:11:22,848
- so he has to come back.
- So, what are they gonna do?
297
00:11:22,932 --> 00:11:24,433
I don't know. I don't know
298
00:11:24,517 --> 00:11:26,226
How
could you not know how long it took,
299
00:11:26,310 --> 00:11:28,186
she takes the afternoon
off work and nobody...
300
00:11:28,270 --> 00:11:30,564
No, it was fine. It was fine.
I... You know.
301
00:11:30,648 --> 00:11:31,815
He's being very funny.
302
00:11:31,899 --> 00:11:33,984
- I'm sure. I'm sure.
- So, what am I gonna do?
303
00:11:34,068 --> 00:11:36,028
You have to close
the garage door manually
304
00:11:36,112 --> 00:11:38,572
- and then... - Okay, yeah.
So, you close it manually. Okay.
305
00:11:38,656 --> 00:11:41,199
- So nice to meet you.
- Oh, and I stole this back
306
00:11:41,283 --> 00:11:42,826
'cause you have
been hoarding my DVD.
307
00:11:42,910 --> 00:11:44,453
- Okay.
- Little Women?
308
00:11:44,537 --> 00:11:46,246
- Yeah.
- I cannot stand
309
00:11:46,330 --> 00:11:48,707
those March sisters.
Boy, do they get on my nerves.
310
00:11:48,791 --> 00:11:50,375
What about them gets
on your nerves?
311
00:11:50,459 --> 00:11:53,253
The giggling all the time,
making jam,
312
00:11:53,337 --> 00:11:56,214
getting under the blanket
and cozying up with Marmee.
313
00:11:56,298 --> 00:11:57,716
I feel like
you're misreading it.
314
00:11:57,800 --> 00:11:59,634
I find them a little mockish
315
00:11:59,718 --> 00:12:01,386
- and twee.
- I don't find them twee,
316
00:12:01,470 --> 00:12:03,138
I find them
to be women of substance.
317
00:12:03,222 --> 00:12:05,724
Oh, they're all so talented
in their own right.
318
00:12:05,808 --> 00:12:08,852
A writer, and a musician,
and an artist.
319
00:12:08,936 --> 00:12:10,896
And one, of course,
has to be an actor.
320
00:12:10,980 --> 00:12:13,815
Is there no creative realm
these sisters can't conquer?
321
00:12:13,899 --> 00:12:15,275
What would you prefer
they had done?
322
00:12:15,359 --> 00:12:17,611
One could've been a writer
and the, uh, the other three,
323
00:12:17,695 --> 00:12:20,947
you know, housewives.
324
00:12:21,031 --> 00:12:25,327
- Uh, it's a joke. It's a joke.
- Um, great to meet you, Larry.
325
00:12:25,411 --> 00:12:26,828
- Nice to meet you.
- Bye. I love you, Mom.
326
00:12:26,912 --> 00:12:29,373
- All right, my darling.
- Enjoy your evening.
327
00:12:29,457 --> 00:12:30,457
- Yes.
- Um...
328
00:12:30,541 --> 00:12:32,959
- Okay, see you.
- I love you.
329
00:12:33,043 --> 00:12:34,753
Oh, what a...
What a lovely daughter.
330
00:12:34,837 --> 00:12:35,962
- Isn't she...
- Yes.
331
00:12:36,046 --> 00:12:37,422
- ...beautiful, so bright.
- You're so fortunate.
332
00:12:37,506 --> 00:12:38,882
- You're so fortunate.
- Incredible.
333
00:12:38,966 --> 00:12:40,092
I've never seen
anything like her.
334
00:12:40,176 --> 00:12:42,594
Your bruschetta...
335
00:12:42,678 --> 00:12:44,846
- and the market salad.
- Thank you.
336
00:12:44,930 --> 00:12:46,557
Enjoy, I'll be back in a bit.
337
00:12:47,766 --> 00:12:48,767
Oh.
338
00:12:50,436 --> 00:12:54,523
- Oh. Oh, God. No.
- Yeah, see I told you.
339
00:12:54,607 --> 00:12:55,649
Look at that.
340
00:12:57,234 --> 00:12:59,820
I'm sorry. I'll try this.
341
00:13:01,405 --> 00:13:04,658
- Oh, that makes it worse.
- Yeah, God.
342
00:13:04,742 --> 00:13:07,994
- You want some? You okay? Hmm.
- No. I'm good. Yeah.
343
00:13:08,078 --> 00:13:09,413
Hey, so let me
ask you something.
344
00:13:09,497 --> 00:13:10,914
- Yeah.
- You're on the council.
345
00:13:10,998 --> 00:13:12,499
You're a council women.
What do you think
346
00:13:12,583 --> 00:13:15,127
about this five-foot fence law?
You know, you have to have
347
00:13:15,211 --> 00:13:17,587
the fence around the pool.
What kind of law is that?
348
00:13:17,671 --> 00:13:19,089
I don't know
if you voted for or not.
349
00:13:19,173 --> 00:13:21,049
That was passed
before I was on the council.
350
00:13:21,133 --> 00:13:22,843
It's a crazy law. Huh?
351
00:13:22,927 --> 00:13:24,553
It's a safety thing you... you...
You know,
352
00:13:24,637 --> 00:13:26,179
you gotta put a fence
around your pool.
353
00:13:26,263 --> 00:13:28,348
- Why? That doesn't make any...
- Because you do.
354
00:13:28,432 --> 00:13:29,599
Because you know,
that's the law.
355
00:13:29,683 --> 00:13:31,601
You gotta have a fence
around your pool.
356
00:13:33,979 --> 00:13:35,730
♪
357
00:13:35,814 --> 00:13:38,358
- Now, I'm scooping and picking.
- So, um...
358
00:13:38,442 --> 00:13:40,861
...maybe um, after dinner...
359
00:13:41,946 --> 00:13:42,988
maybe we go back...
360
00:13:44,073 --> 00:13:45,241
to my house?
361
00:13:49,453 --> 00:13:53,249
I haven't had sex
with anyone in 13 years.
362
00:13:55,376 --> 00:13:57,377
Just a little heads up,
you know?
363
00:13:57,461 --> 00:13:59,505
And now
I'm gonna have garlic breath.
364
00:14:01,382 --> 00:14:02,757
I've laid fallow,
365
00:14:02,841 --> 00:14:06,887
it's like whistling
into the Sahara up there.
366
00:14:06,971 --> 00:14:09,473
I think I'll get another glass
of wine.
367
00:14:10,307 --> 00:14:12,309
And so, to bed.
368
00:14:15,354 --> 00:14:16,772
Come to bed.
369
00:14:28,659 --> 00:14:30,369
It's better than I expected.
370
00:14:32,121 --> 00:14:33,998
But I have low expectations.
371
00:14:36,625 --> 00:14:39,294
It's funny.
You know, I can't stop thinking
372
00:14:39,378 --> 00:14:41,630
about the pool and that fence.
373
00:14:41,714 --> 00:14:43,423
Why you so obsessive about this?
374
00:14:43,507 --> 00:14:45,217
'Cause I don't wanna run
to a pool
375
00:14:45,301 --> 00:14:47,135
and then unlatch a gate
and jump in. I...
376
00:14:47,219 --> 00:14:48,512
I just wanna run and jump in.
377
00:14:48,596 --> 00:14:50,555
They don't have a fence
around the dock.
378
00:14:50,639 --> 00:14:52,140
You don't have a fence
around a... a beach.
379
00:14:52,224 --> 00:14:53,975
- Yeah.
- But you have a fence around a pool.
380
00:14:54,059 --> 00:14:56,645
- It's crazy, makes no sense...
- Can I borrow your toothbrush?
381
00:14:58,022 --> 00:15:01,441
Not so sure about that.
Don't think that's a great idea.
382
00:15:01,525 --> 00:15:03,402
It's fine.
383
00:15:04,403 --> 00:15:07,781
Mm-hmm. I have my retainer.
384
00:15:07,865 --> 00:15:11,744
I'm a grinder.
385
00:15:15,581 --> 00:15:18,876
Ooh, come here.
386
00:15:38,937 --> 00:15:41,899
♪
387
00:15:47,279 --> 00:15:49,657
What have I done?
388
00:15:51,867 --> 00:15:54,078
What have I done?
389
00:15:56,455 --> 00:16:00,166
What have I done?
390
00:16:00,250 --> 00:16:02,252
♪
391
00:16:08,884 --> 00:16:10,218
Would you mind...
392
00:16:10,302 --> 00:16:12,721
pulling down the sleeves
on that sweater?
393
00:16:12,805 --> 00:16:15,015
- What, this?
- Yeah, you're stretching it out.
394
00:16:15,099 --> 00:16:16,808
It's like a stretchy...
It's... It's orlon.
395
00:16:16,892 --> 00:16:18,727
- No, it's cashmere.
- It's cashmilon.
396
00:16:18,811 --> 00:16:21,771
- Not cashmilon. It's not a mix.
- I'm shvitzing, so it's a mix.
397
00:16:21,855 --> 00:16:23,857
- You're what?
- If it was pure, I wouldn't shvitz.
398
00:16:23,941 --> 00:16:25,108
You... you said you're sweating?
399
00:16:25,192 --> 00:16:27,945
Hey, hey, hey. I don't
wanna fight with you, lover.
400
00:16:30,280 --> 00:16:32,032
- Oh. Hey.
- Ah, well. Hey!
401
00:16:32,116 --> 00:16:34,034
- Good morning. Leon...
- Good morning.
402
00:16:34,118 --> 00:16:35,536
...this is Irma Kostroski.
403
00:16:36,412 --> 00:16:37,370
- Hey, Irma.
- Oh.
404
00:16:37,454 --> 00:16:39,164
From the, uh,
Santa Monica City Council.
405
00:16:39,248 --> 00:16:40,999
- Oh, okay.
- Did you vote
406
00:16:41,083 --> 00:16:43,418
- in the election last week?
- No, fuck all that.
407
00:16:43,502 --> 00:16:45,503
Once you start voting,
there's taxes,
408
00:16:45,587 --> 00:16:46,796
and... and... and jury duty,
409
00:16:46,880 --> 00:16:48,798
and old-ass warrants
that pop up out of nowhere.
410
00:16:48,882 --> 00:16:51,051
- Fuck all that.
- Language.
411
00:16:51,135 --> 00:16:53,553
Oh, my God.
He comes in, you know,
412
00:16:53,637 --> 00:16:55,096
effing and jeffing
in this morning.
413
00:16:55,180 --> 00:16:57,599
I really wish you'd watch
your language around her.
414
00:16:57,683 --> 00:16:58,933
- Oh.
- It's not necessary.
415
00:16:59,017 --> 00:17:00,143
I told him that many times.
416
00:17:00,227 --> 00:17:02,103
Oh, my God. I'm eating all this.
I'm nervous,
417
00:17:02,187 --> 00:17:04,189
You know, it's been like...
It was a big night for me
418
00:17:04,273 --> 00:17:06,483
and now I have gas.
It just sits there.
419
00:17:06,567 --> 00:17:07,901
- Oh, wow.
- Ooh, I got, like,
420
00:17:07,985 --> 00:17:10,153
a bubble here.
You got any Gas-X?
421
00:17:10,237 --> 00:17:13,448
Leon, is there anything you have
that might disperse the bubble?
422
00:17:13,532 --> 00:17:15,784
Yeah... -Know what
gets that out? The Heimlich.
423
00:17:15,868 --> 00:17:17,285
- Heimlich.
- The Heimlich?
424
00:17:17,369 --> 00:17:19,872
Oh, it's my daughter. Excuse me.
425
00:17:23,167 --> 00:17:26,336
What the fuck, man?
You're in a bad spot, Larry.
426
00:17:26,420 --> 00:17:29,089
Gotta tap that ass
under duress? That's the worst.
427
00:17:29,173 --> 00:17:30,799
Have you ever tapped someone
under duress?
428
00:17:30,883 --> 00:17:33,426
Course I have. My uncle
passed away unexpectedly.
429
00:17:33,510 --> 00:17:35,804
So, I had to tap this cougar
at this mortuary.
430
00:17:35,888 --> 00:17:37,681
Got a half off that coffin.
431
00:17:37,765 --> 00:17:39,557
I hope this turns out
as successful
432
00:17:39,641 --> 00:17:42,060
- as your dead uncle's coffin.
- I hope so.
433
00:17:44,313 --> 00:17:46,064
- That was Deidre.
- Oh.
434
00:17:46,148 --> 00:17:48,108
- You made a horrible impression.
- I did?
435
00:17:48,192 --> 00:17:50,276
With that stuff you said
about Little Women.
436
00:17:50,360 --> 00:17:51,695
Why knock a classic?
437
00:17:51,779 --> 00:17:53,113
You know, I don't like
the March sisters.
438
00:17:53,197 --> 00:17:55,115
- They're obnoxious.
- You like Little Women?
439
00:17:55,199 --> 00:17:56,491
- Fucking, love 'em.
- Yeah.
440
00:17:56,575 --> 00:17:57,992
They call 'em midgets
or dwarves.
441
00:17:58,076 --> 00:17:59,869
- What?
- I stack two on top of each other,
442
00:17:59,953 --> 00:18:01,705
make 'em one whole women.
Tap that ass.
443
00:18:01,789 --> 00:18:03,415
No, we're talking
about something different.
444
00:18:03,499 --> 00:18:06,292
Listen, let's face it, Larry.
You're old and you're bald.
445
00:18:06,376 --> 00:18:07,877
I can get past that,
but I don't think
446
00:18:07,961 --> 00:18:10,130
I can schtup somebody
my daughter doesn't like.
447
00:18:10,214 --> 00:18:11,798
So, we're through.
448
00:18:11,882 --> 00:18:13,925
- What?
- You know, you have...
449
00:18:14,009 --> 00:18:16,094
Let me apologize.
I'll apologize.
450
00:18:16,178 --> 00:18:17,345
You'll call Deidre?
451
00:18:17,429 --> 00:18:19,556
You know what? Forget call.
I'll go to her house.
452
00:18:19,640 --> 00:18:21,683
- You wanna go to her house? Okay, okay.
- I'll go. Yeah.
453
00:18:21,767 --> 00:18:24,144
Listen to me, Deidre
and my son-in-law, Scott,
454
00:18:24,228 --> 00:18:26,479
are having
a ten-year anniversary party
455
00:18:26,563 --> 00:18:28,022
to renew their wedding vows.
456
00:18:28,106 --> 00:18:31,151
Maybe I'll invite you to this
and you can
457
00:18:31,235 --> 00:18:32,610
get along with her a little.
458
00:18:32,694 --> 00:18:34,487
- You wanna try that?
- I... I... I would love to go
459
00:18:34,571 --> 00:18:36,406
to Deidre and Scott's
tenth anniversary party.
460
00:18:36,490 --> 00:18:39,409
- That would be fantastic.
- Okay, I gotta go. I gotta get
461
00:18:39,493 --> 00:18:41,494
to a council meeting where...
462
00:18:41,578 --> 00:18:43,496
It's all about drains today.
463
00:18:43,580 --> 00:18:46,332
- Yeah.
- Drains, ramps, composts.
464
00:18:46,416 --> 00:18:48,877
- They're talking about composts.
- Uh, keep... keep the sweater.
465
00:18:48,961 --> 00:18:50,920
- Keep it.
- You wanna kiss me before I go?
466
00:18:51,004 --> 00:18:52,213
- What?
- Give me a little kiss.
467
00:18:52,297 --> 00:18:55,467
One little kiss. Come on.
468
00:18:55,551 --> 00:18:58,553
Come on.
469
00:18:58,637 --> 00:19:00,597
I want Deidre
to like you so much.
470
00:19:00,681 --> 00:19:01,974
It's just gonna work out.
471
00:19:20,576 --> 00:19:23,077
That was nice.
472
00:19:23,161 --> 00:19:28,375
Put Gas-X on your shopping list.
I gotta go. Have a great day!
473
00:19:34,923 --> 00:19:36,633
That unpleasant bitch
got you twisted
474
00:19:36,717 --> 00:19:38,051
the fuck up right now.
475
00:19:48,103 --> 00:19:49,062
Thank you.
476
00:19:49,146 --> 00:19:50,939
- She's in the sewing room.
- Okay.
477
00:19:51,023 --> 00:19:54,234
What's that delightful scent?
It smells like lilac.
478
00:19:54,318 --> 00:19:56,903
Oh, that... that's my new
body wash, I love it.
479
00:19:56,987 --> 00:19:59,072
I felt like I needed
a new smell.
480
00:19:59,156 --> 00:20:00,907
- Really?
- You like that smell, Larry?
481
00:20:00,991 --> 00:20:03,451
- It's disgusting.
- Love it. You don't like Lilac?
482
00:20:03,535 --> 00:20:05,245
I'm surprised
at you. I really am.
483
00:20:05,329 --> 00:20:07,247
- I'm surprised at you.
- You're full of surprises.
484
00:20:07,331 --> 00:20:10,333
What are you? You're
fucking Irma Kostroski now?
485
00:20:10,417 --> 00:20:13,795
Well, that's a rather crude way
of putting it.
486
00:20:13,879 --> 00:20:16,089
Do I make love to her?
Yes, I do.
487
00:20:16,173 --> 00:20:20,468
She is so not your type.
You're not political in any way,
488
00:20:20,552 --> 00:20:22,303
you're not one to go canvassing.
489
00:20:22,387 --> 00:20:25,098
What the fuck is going on,
Larry? Something's off.
490
00:20:26,516 --> 00:20:27,642
Tell her the truth.
491
00:20:27,726 --> 00:20:30,228
'Cause that's what we deal
with here. The truth.
492
00:20:30,312 --> 00:20:32,272
- All right, you wanna know?
- Yeah.
493
00:20:32,356 --> 00:20:34,065
Okay, we have
this terrible actress
494
00:20:34,149 --> 00:20:36,025
- in our show.
- Maria Sofia.
495
00:20:36,109 --> 00:20:38,319
- Yeah?
- And her father is the brother
496
00:20:38,403 --> 00:20:40,780
of the guy who drowned
in my pool. And he found out
497
00:20:40,864 --> 00:20:42,282
about the five-foot fence law.
498
00:20:42,366 --> 00:20:43,783
- He's extorting you?
- Yeah.
499
00:20:43,867 --> 00:20:46,494
- That's why she's cast.
- Yep. I'm trying to get Irma
500
00:20:46,578 --> 00:20:48,454
- to repeal the law.
- Is she gonna do it?
501
00:20:48,538 --> 00:20:50,790
I don't know. I'm...
I'm working on it.
502
00:20:50,874 --> 00:20:52,250
If Maria Sofia's in the show...
503
00:20:52,334 --> 00:20:53,918
- It's over.
- Yeah. So, get on board
504
00:20:54,002 --> 00:20:55,879
- and get in line.
- It's the only line that you're in
505
00:20:55,963 --> 00:20:58,256
- that I'm ever gonna get in.
- "Ba-dump-bump."
506
00:20:59,549 --> 00:21:01,426
- The fuck was that?
- What?
507
00:21:01,510 --> 00:21:03,219
Where you get
that expression from?
508
00:21:03,303 --> 00:21:05,513
- That gem of a retort.
- You've heard, "Ba-dump-bump."
509
00:21:05,597 --> 00:21:07,015
I've heard him say,
"Ba-dump-bump."
510
00:21:07,099 --> 00:21:08,516
You got that from somebody else.
511
00:21:08,600 --> 00:21:11,185
- It's an old classic...
- No, but you never say that.
512
00:21:11,269 --> 00:21:13,396
You don't have original ideas
that you come up with...
513
00:21:13,480 --> 00:21:15,356
He's been "Ba-dump-bump-ing"
for years.
514
00:21:15,440 --> 00:21:17,942
Well, I don't like it.
515
00:21:18,026 --> 00:21:20,153
- You want tea?
- Uh, no, thank you.
516
00:21:21,613 --> 00:21:23,407
- Are you crazy?
- What?
517
00:21:25,867 --> 00:21:28,953
I can't believe how House
Husband is catching on.
518
00:21:29,037 --> 00:21:30,121
- Really?
- Yeah, man.
519
00:21:30,205 --> 00:21:31,873
- That's fantastic.
- Yeah, thanks for hooking me up,
520
00:21:31,957 --> 00:21:33,708
with uh, Jeff and Susie man.
They got that plumber
521
00:21:33,792 --> 00:21:35,168
- coming over there.
- Oh, shit.
522
00:21:35,252 --> 00:21:36,920
I gotta call Irma's daughter,
523
00:21:37,004 --> 00:21:39,464
Deidre, and find out
what time this party starts.
524
00:21:39,548 --> 00:21:41,257
Okay.
525
00:21:41,341 --> 00:21:42,884
Deidre Kostroski Miller's
office.
526
00:21:42,968 --> 00:21:44,260
Oh, hi.
It's Larry David calling
527
00:21:44,344 --> 00:21:46,596
for Deidre. And listen, just
so you know beforehand,
528
00:21:46,680 --> 00:21:48,097
so there's no misunderstanding,
529
00:21:48,181 --> 00:21:50,892
I would appreciate it
if you didn't stay on the call.
530
00:21:50,976 --> 00:21:52,101
- Excuse me?
- If it's not a matter
531
00:21:52,185 --> 00:21:54,103
of national security,
there's no reason for it.
532
00:21:54,187 --> 00:21:55,855
Well, if it's not a matter
of national security,
533
00:21:55,939 --> 00:21:58,900
- why can't I listen?
- Because it's really none of your business.
534
00:21:58,984 --> 00:22:00,360
- Are you listening to this?
- Yeah.
535
00:22:00,444 --> 00:22:02,195
Would you like it
if I listened in to you
536
00:22:02,279 --> 00:22:03,780
and you friends
when you're talking?
537
00:22:03,864 --> 00:22:05,031
Well, that's really pervy.
538
00:22:05,115 --> 00:22:07,033
Oh, that's pervy?
Oh, but it's not pervy for you
539
00:22:07,117 --> 00:22:09,452
to listen in on my call?
So, I don't see the difference.
540
00:22:09,536 --> 00:22:11,245
Sir, listening in
on Deidre's phone calls
541
00:22:11,329 --> 00:22:13,373
is part of my job description.
You listening in
542
00:22:13,457 --> 00:22:16,459
- on my phone calls is pervy.
- No, no. It's not pervy at all.
543
00:22:16,543 --> 00:22:17,961
You'd be talking
to your friends, talking
544
00:22:18,045 --> 00:22:20,129
about where you're gonna go,
what you're gonna eat,
545
00:22:20,213 --> 00:22:21,339
w... what you gonna wear.
546
00:22:21,423 --> 00:22:23,424
And I'd be listening in,
taking notes, same thing.
547
00:22:23,508 --> 00:22:25,259
- Ew.
- Yeah. "Ew." Exactly. That's...
548
00:22:25,343 --> 00:22:26,761
That's exactly
what you're doing to me.
549
00:22:26,845 --> 00:22:29,097
Look, I... I just wanna know
what time the party starts
550
00:22:29,181 --> 00:22:30,598
that's all I really need
to know.
551
00:22:30,682 --> 00:22:33,101
Oh, the party? Why didn't you
say so? The party starts at 6:00.
552
00:22:33,185 --> 00:22:35,728
Well, there you go. Six o'clock.
Fantastic. We could've
553
00:22:35,812 --> 00:22:37,563
- saved ourselves so much time...
- Okay, thank you so much.
554
00:22:37,647 --> 00:22:40,024
- Have a wonderful day, bye-bye.
- And wouldn't have to have this...
555
00:22:40,108 --> 00:22:41,776
That's all I needed to...
556
00:22:41,860 --> 00:22:44,153
She hung up on me.
557
00:22:44,237 --> 00:22:45,822
What's that? See who that is.
558
00:22:47,157 --> 00:22:50,076
Oh, it's Cheryl.
"I need the house husband."
559
00:22:50,160 --> 00:22:51,744
I mean,
this tree is really top-heavy
560
00:22:51,828 --> 00:22:53,246
and you've got
some insect damage too
561
00:22:53,330 --> 00:22:55,081
and that's why
there's those dead branches.
562
00:22:55,165 --> 00:22:56,332
We're gonna need
about five guys.
563
00:22:56,416 --> 00:22:59,585
- It's gonna be full day.
- Five guys? That's expensive.
564
00:22:59,669 --> 00:23:01,921
You don't need five guys,
you just need three.
565
00:23:02,005 --> 00:23:04,340
Me, myself and I.
And as far as insects,
566
00:23:04,424 --> 00:23:06,050
all you need is a little bit
of insecticide.
567
00:23:06,134 --> 00:23:07,635
- Let's do that.
- Let's do that.
568
00:23:07,719 --> 00:23:09,971
- Thank you, house husband.
- You know I got you.
569
00:23:10,055 --> 00:23:12,056
My recommendation would be
to go inside the wall,
570
00:23:12,140 --> 00:23:13,558
you're gonna want
to secure the studs.
571
00:23:13,642 --> 00:23:16,644
That's sounds like a lot more
than we were planning.
572
00:23:16,728 --> 00:23:18,271
First of all,
you're doing too much.
573
00:23:18,355 --> 00:23:19,480
- Yeah.
- All you need
574
00:23:19,564 --> 00:23:22,066
is these right here. See that?
We call them anchors.
575
00:23:22,150 --> 00:23:23,943
Man, woman. See this? See that?
576
00:23:24,027 --> 00:23:25,695
What I need you to do
is make love
577
00:23:25,779 --> 00:23:27,780
to that goddamn shelf,
and hang it up.
578
00:23:27,864 --> 00:23:29,198
Whatever you want.
579
00:23:29,282 --> 00:23:30,908
- You're gonna need a new showerhead.
- Mm-hmm.
580
00:23:30,992 --> 00:23:32,618
And I'm probably gonna have to
replace a lot of the pipes up here
581
00:23:32,702 --> 00:23:34,078
- in the upstairs bedroom.
- Whoa, whoa. Hold on, playboy.
582
00:23:34,162 --> 00:23:35,705
I'm the house husband
around here. Okay?
583
00:23:35,789 --> 00:23:37,790
Just replace the shower head,
that's it.
584
00:23:37,874 --> 00:23:40,084
There could be further problems
you know, in the future...
585
00:23:40,168 --> 00:23:42,712
Okay, we in the present.
Fix the fuckin' showerhead.
586
00:23:42,796 --> 00:23:44,005
- All right.
- Thank you.
587
00:23:44,089 --> 00:23:46,966
Guess what? I got a little
something for you. Here you go.
588
00:23:47,050 --> 00:23:50,136
- Oh. What's this?
- There it is.
589
00:23:50,220 --> 00:23:52,139
Got, uh, a little something.
590
00:23:53,265 --> 00:23:55,183
I thought it was lingerie.
591
00:23:55,267 --> 00:23:57,769
- I got a little disappointed.
- Oh, it's a body wash.
592
00:23:57,853 --> 00:24:00,021
- Fresh cut lilacs. Huh.
- Yeah.
593
00:24:00,105 --> 00:24:01,481
I don't know.
594
00:24:01,565 --> 00:24:03,816
With me, with my eczema,
with my psoriasis,
595
00:24:03,900 --> 00:24:06,486
I use anything.
Oh, it's pretty natural. Okay.
596
00:24:06,570 --> 00:24:08,780
Well, you know, I figured
'cause you don't use deodorant
597
00:24:08,864 --> 00:24:12,533
- that you might like body wash.
- I don't like anything unnatural
598
00:24:12,617 --> 00:24:13,701
near my lymph.
599
00:24:13,785 --> 00:24:15,912
- You'll smell like a flower.
- What is this? A hint?
600
00:24:15,996 --> 00:24:18,664
- No, uh-uh. No.
- Okay. I know I give off this,
601
00:24:18,748 --> 00:24:21,709
like, a sex musk
because I am active again.
602
00:24:21,793 --> 00:24:24,462
I... I think you'll enjoy
the lilac and you know?
603
00:24:24,546 --> 00:24:27,006
- Frankly, it couldn't hurt.
- Well, I'm just gonna rub it
604
00:24:27,090 --> 00:24:29,634
all over then.
605
00:24:29,718 --> 00:24:31,135
- Hey, come on.
- Yeah.
606
00:24:31,219 --> 00:24:34,472
Wanna come sit on the couch?
Come and sit beside me.
607
00:24:34,556 --> 00:24:36,808
I'd love to except
I bruised my testicle
608
00:24:36,892 --> 00:24:38,476
getting off the peloton.
609
00:24:38,560 --> 00:24:40,061
- You what?
- Yeah, you know.
610
00:24:40,145 --> 00:24:41,896
You're in pain?
611
00:24:41,980 --> 00:24:44,190
Yeah, so uh, I'm a little out
of commission
612
00:24:44,274 --> 00:24:45,900
- for... for a while.
- Is it anything to do
613
00:24:45,984 --> 00:24:49,445
- with my exertions?
- Oh, no, no. That was a delight.
614
00:24:49,529 --> 00:24:53,116
Phew. A bit shvitzy.
I'm gonna go take a shower...
615
00:24:53,200 --> 00:24:55,118
- Mm. Yeah.
- ...in my lilac.
616
00:24:55,202 --> 00:24:57,912
- Smell my lilac. It's gonna be all over me.
- Mm. Lovely. Yes.
617
00:24:57,996 --> 00:24:59,539
- Yes.
- It's gonna be all over me.
618
00:24:59,623 --> 00:25:01,082
You wanna come and join me?
619
00:25:01,166 --> 00:25:02,959
I don't feel
like getting wet just now.
620
00:25:03,043 --> 00:25:04,752
You can watch.
621
00:25:04,836 --> 00:25:07,338
You know what? I got a,
uh, beach volleyball game.
622
00:25:07,422 --> 00:25:11,092
I'm gonna rub it all over.
Come on, watch me.
623
00:25:11,176 --> 00:25:14,220
- I'm waiting for you!
- Yeah, there's a hockey game
624
00:25:14,304 --> 00:25:17,265
- I taped last night...
- Come on and watch me.
625
00:25:17,349 --> 00:25:18,891
Come on and watch!
626
00:25:18,975 --> 00:25:21,561
♪
627
00:25:24,814 --> 00:25:27,066
Speaking of watching
the beginning, maybe like, yeah,
628
00:25:27,150 --> 00:25:29,819
like ten after, hopefully.
Um, and...
629
00:25:29,903 --> 00:25:33,364
Sorry. Excuse me, one second.
Hi, Larry.
630
00:25:33,448 --> 00:25:35,491
- Oh, hey!
- How's it going?
631
00:25:35,575 --> 00:25:37,827
- Swell!
- You're here early?
632
00:25:37,911 --> 00:25:39,620
- Early?
- Yeah, yeah. The party doesn't start
633
00:25:39,704 --> 00:25:40,746
until 7:00.
634
00:25:40,830 --> 00:25:41,873
- 7:00?
- Yeah, yeah. Yeah.
635
00:25:41,957 --> 00:25:45,293
Your assistant, she...
Told me it was at 6:00.
636
00:25:45,377 --> 00:25:47,295
- Britney?
- She told me six o'clock.
637
00:25:47,379 --> 00:25:50,214
I don't... I think you must've
taken that down wrong.
638
00:25:50,298 --> 00:25:52,049
No, I'm quite sure
she said 6:00.
639
00:25:52,133 --> 00:25:54,010
Um...
640
00:25:54,094 --> 00:25:55,428
Thank you for the...
The flowers...
641
00:25:55,512 --> 00:25:56,762
- Oh, yeah. Yeah.
- I just feel like um...
642
00:25:56,846 --> 00:25:58,264
- Thank you. Um...
- Oh! Y... you're welcome.
643
00:25:58,348 --> 00:26:00,683
But... So, we're just still
getting prepped here, we're not...
644
00:26:00,767 --> 00:26:02,310
By the way,
I really wanna apologize
645
00:26:02,394 --> 00:26:05,271
for my comments about the,
uh, the March sisters.
646
00:26:05,355 --> 00:26:07,106
I've given 'em a second look...
647
00:26:07,190 --> 00:26:08,733
...and they're not as mockish
648
00:26:08,817 --> 00:26:10,651
and twee as I...
As I thought they were.
649
00:26:10,735 --> 00:26:12,987
Thank you. That means a lot
that you would apologize.
650
00:26:13,071 --> 00:26:16,532
Yeah, I've seen all five
of the movies again.
651
00:26:16,616 --> 00:26:19,660
And they're so talented.
Really, who's your favorite Jo?
652
00:26:19,744 --> 00:26:24,540
Katharine Hepburn, June Allyson,
Winona Ryder, Susan Dey,
653
00:26:24,624 --> 00:26:28,377
uh, Chivon...
What's her... The, you know,
654
00:26:28,461 --> 00:26:29,921
- the Irish girl...
- Saoirse, Saoirse Ronan.
655
00:26:30,005 --> 00:26:31,255
- Saoirse Ronan. Yeah.
- Yeah.
656
00:26:31,339 --> 00:26:33,090
My money, June Allyson.
657
00:26:33,174 --> 00:26:36,260
- Really?
- With the bangs, cute. Cute.
658
00:26:36,344 --> 00:26:39,013
Cute? That's your criterion
for what makes a great Jo?
659
00:26:39,097 --> 00:26:42,225
No, I'm just uh, I'm just a man
partial to a bang.
660
00:26:42,309 --> 00:26:45,478
Okay, so the March sisters... - And, by
the way, who doesn't love a good bang?
661
00:26:45,562 --> 00:26:46,979
Honey?
662
00:26:47,063 --> 00:26:51,275
Hi. Scott this is Larry David,
my mom's friend.
663
00:26:51,359 --> 00:26:53,319
- Larry.
- Larry, this is my husband, Scott.
664
00:26:53,403 --> 00:26:54,987
Scotty... Scotty boy.
665
00:26:55,071 --> 00:27:01,827
- Scott's good. Um, what's up?
- Larry, uh, mistook the time...
666
00:27:01,911 --> 00:27:03,287
- Um...
- I was told 6:00.
667
00:27:03,371 --> 00:27:04,997
Where is... Irma?
668
00:27:05,081 --> 00:27:07,667
- She got tied up. You said...
- In City Council.
669
00:27:07,751 --> 00:27:08,918
- She... Right.
- Yeah.
670
00:27:09,002 --> 00:27:10,711
Well, the party's actually
at 7:00, so...
671
00:27:10,795 --> 00:27:12,380
Britney wanted to listen in
on the conversation,
672
00:27:12,464 --> 00:27:14,715
I got upset, so she gave me
the wrong time.
673
00:27:14,799 --> 00:27:16,968
I don't think
that's what happened.
674
00:27:17,052 --> 00:27:19,720
- No, no, that's... that's what happened.
- Party's not for an hour so,
675
00:27:19,804 --> 00:27:22,223
could you... could you...
I don't know, uh,
676
00:27:22,307 --> 00:27:24,558
kill time for an hour and...
And... and come back?
677
00:27:24,642 --> 00:27:26,936
The thing is,
by the time I got home,
678
00:27:27,020 --> 00:27:29,939
it's gonna be time to come back.
It doesn't even make any sense.
679
00:27:30,023 --> 00:27:32,024
You don't need to go home,
you could just...
680
00:27:32,108 --> 00:27:34,485
- not stay here.
- There's coffee shops.
681
00:27:34,569 --> 00:27:36,612
- Sure.
- Do you have any errands you need to run?
682
00:27:36,696 --> 00:27:38,364
No, no I don't. No, I don't.
683
00:27:38,448 --> 00:27:39,824
The problem is we can't host,
684
00:27:39,908 --> 00:27:41,325
really, 'cause we have
to get dressed and...
685
00:27:41,409 --> 00:27:44,036
You don't need to host!
I'll just sit here and guest.
686
00:27:44,120 --> 00:27:45,747
I can be a guest without a host.
687
00:27:47,123 --> 00:27:49,750
- Can you?
- I... I think I can.
688
00:27:49,834 --> 00:27:51,377
- Okay.
- Don't worry about me.
689
00:27:51,461 --> 00:27:53,170
I'll be fine. I will disappear.
690
00:27:53,254 --> 00:27:56,132
You will not know I'm here.
Do you have the NHL package?
691
00:27:56,216 --> 00:27:57,634
I don't know what that is.
692
00:27:58,510 --> 00:27:59,593
- No.
- Okay.
693
00:27:59,677 --> 00:28:00,970
Yeah, we're gonna go
take showers.
694
00:28:01,054 --> 00:28:02,471
- Go take a shower.
- Yeah.
695
00:28:02,555 --> 00:28:04,724
- I'm not even here.
- Okay. Make yourself at home.
696
00:28:04,808 --> 00:28:05,892
You gonna shower, too?
697
00:28:06,851 --> 00:28:13,024
♪
698
00:28:20,490 --> 00:28:21,574
- Hi.
- Hey.
699
00:28:21,658 --> 00:28:24,577
- Videographer.
- Oh, great. Come on in.
700
00:28:24,661 --> 00:28:26,078
- Glad you can make it.
- Thank you.
701
00:28:26,162 --> 00:28:27,913
Make yourself at home.
702
00:28:27,997 --> 00:28:29,999
- So, they're upstairs.
- Okay.
703
00:28:30,083 --> 00:28:32,794
- Seven o'clock, party starts.
- Yes.
704
00:28:33,962 --> 00:28:36,630
- Um, this is interesting.
- What?
705
00:28:36,714 --> 00:28:39,300
- You're tucking in the sweater?
- Yes.
706
00:28:39,384 --> 00:28:40,885
How long you been doing that?
707
00:28:40,969 --> 00:28:42,845
- My whole life.
- Do people comment on it?
708
00:28:42,929 --> 00:28:44,388
There's almost
never conversation about it.
709
00:28:44,472 --> 00:28:46,474
Did you notice
any other tuckers in your life?
710
00:28:46,558 --> 00:28:48,476
I honestly have never really
thought about it that much.
711
00:28:48,560 --> 00:28:49,935
Who started you with that?
Your mother?
712
00:28:50,019 --> 00:28:51,479
- I just started doing it.
- You started that on your own?
713
00:28:51,563 --> 00:28:52,938
- Yes. Yes. I started on my own...
- Really?
714
00:28:53,022 --> 00:28:54,190
- ...when I was a kid. Yes.
- Fascinating.
715
00:28:54,274 --> 00:28:55,733
- It's not. It's really not.
- I... No, it is.
716
00:28:55,817 --> 00:28:56,942
I think it's fascinating.
717
00:28:57,026 --> 00:28:58,402
- Your father didn't tuck?
- No.
718
00:28:58,486 --> 00:29:00,654
- There were no tuckers in the family?
- No, look I...
719
00:29:00,738 --> 00:29:01,781
There's a lot of stuff to do.
720
00:29:01,865 --> 00:29:03,491
I mean, the only person
I've ever seen tuck
721
00:29:03,575 --> 00:29:05,034
is James Mason in Lolita.
722
00:29:05,118 --> 00:29:08,037
"Lolita, do you think
I should tuck in my sweater?
723
00:29:08,121 --> 00:29:10,164
Does it look good?
What would you do?
724
00:29:10,248 --> 00:29:13,209
What would you advise me?
Would you advise me to tuck?"
725
00:29:13,293 --> 00:29:14,919
I'm sorry,
but what is your role here?
726
00:29:15,003 --> 00:29:17,129
- I'm a guest.
- Okay, you're very early.
727
00:29:17,213 --> 00:29:19,423
- I know, what happened was...
- No, I... Look,
728
00:29:19,507 --> 00:29:21,842
I don't really care, I'm gonna
set up in the living room.
729
00:29:21,926 --> 00:29:25,012
- Yeah, set up.
- Okay, yeah. Great. Thank you so much.
730
00:29:25,096 --> 00:29:27,890
Look, it's in the back too.
You're really very thorough.
731
00:29:27,974 --> 00:29:29,600
- Why do you care?
- I don't.
732
00:29:29,684 --> 00:29:31,018
Okay. Thank you.
733
00:29:31,102 --> 00:29:34,147
♪
734
00:29:41,404 --> 00:29:42,947
Babe, you made sure
that the sprinklers
735
00:29:43,031 --> 00:29:45,324
aren't gonna go off, right,
when the guests are here?
736
00:29:45,408 --> 00:29:48,619
I did it already. Aren't
you proud of me?
737
00:29:48,703 --> 00:29:51,372
Look at him
What is he doing?
738
00:29:51,456 --> 00:29:54,501
♪ What... I don't know.
739
00:29:57,962 --> 00:30:00,798
That's my favorite
candle. Please, put that down.
740
00:30:02,133 --> 00:30:03,593
Why would you pick that up?
741
00:30:06,346 --> 00:30:08,848
- Ew.
- Oh, my God.
742
00:30:08,932 --> 00:30:11,100
I don't know
why he's not just sitting
743
00:30:11,184 --> 00:30:13,436
in one place
and looking at his phone...
744
00:30:13,520 --> 00:30:15,271
- Right.
- ...like a normal person.
745
00:30:16,272 --> 00:30:19,316
What is he doing?
746
00:30:19,400 --> 00:30:21,652
This is so bizarre.
747
00:30:21,736 --> 00:30:23,905
Hopefully,
he'll just wear himself out.
748
00:30:28,618 --> 00:30:30,078
He's so weird.
749
00:30:32,372 --> 00:30:34,958
- Do we need to go down there?
- I don't wanna go down there.
750
00:30:40,129 --> 00:30:43,550
Ew. What is wrong with him?
751
00:30:44,842 --> 00:30:46,594
I don't think
I've ever seen anyone take,
752
00:30:46,678 --> 00:30:48,680
"Make yourself at home"
so literally.
753
00:30:51,391 --> 00:30:53,791
- Don't touch that. Don't touch that.
- He's futzing with it.
754
00:30:54,894 --> 00:30:56,395
I would never go
into somebody's house
755
00:30:56,479 --> 00:30:58,064
and touch
their air conditioning.
756
00:31:02,235 --> 00:31:03,903
I didn't know
that we had to say, like,
757
00:31:03,987 --> 00:31:05,154
"Please make yourself at home
758
00:31:05,238 --> 00:31:06,864
but don't mess
with our thermostat."
759
00:31:09,492 --> 00:31:11,744
Oh, my God.
He's taking his pants off.
760
00:31:11,828 --> 00:31:13,287
He is.
761
00:31:13,371 --> 00:31:15,790
- What is he doing? No.
- Don't do that.
762
00:31:18,501 --> 00:31:20,836
Why is he tucking
his sweater into his pants?
763
00:31:20,920 --> 00:31:23,380
- I don't know.
- Who does that?
764
00:31:23,464 --> 00:31:25,132
I have to keep
on getting ready, so.
765
00:31:25,216 --> 00:31:27,510
Okay. What a strange individual.
766
00:31:29,429 --> 00:31:31,472
Just wondering
where I should plug in...
767
00:31:35,310 --> 00:31:37,686
- I... I was just testing.
- How do you like it?
768
00:31:37,770 --> 00:31:39,813
- I don't care for it.
- Okay.
769
00:31:39,897 --> 00:31:41,190
I'm gonna go back
over there now.
770
00:31:41,274 --> 00:31:42,358
Okay.
771
00:31:44,360 --> 00:31:46,654
- So, no dinner?
- Tell me about it.
772
00:31:46,738 --> 00:31:48,155
If it's seven o'clock,
you expect dinner?
773
00:31:48,239 --> 00:31:49,615
- Absolutely.
- I'm... I'm starving.
774
00:31:49,699 --> 00:31:51,033
- See the fence?
- I did.
775
00:31:51,117 --> 00:31:52,993
Let me ask you a question.
If I start walking into the pool,
776
00:31:53,077 --> 00:31:54,495
you think
that fence is gonna stop me?
777
00:31:54,579 --> 00:31:56,455
- Everybody. If we could...
- Hi.
778
00:31:56,539 --> 00:31:58,457
- ...get your attention for a minute.
- Oh, boy.
779
00:31:58,541 --> 00:32:00,793
- Here we go.
- Thank you all so much for being here
780
00:32:00,877 --> 00:32:02,169
and for joining us.
781
00:32:02,253 --> 00:32:03,295
We wanted to do
782
00:32:03,379 --> 00:32:04,797
what it is
that we gathered you all
783
00:32:04,881 --> 00:32:08,300
here to do, and that is to,
uh, renew our vows.
784
00:32:08,384 --> 00:32:11,345
- Aw!
- Let's get out the anti-nausea pills.
785
00:32:12,472 --> 00:32:17,268
- I'll start... crying.
- Oh, God.
786
00:32:17,352 --> 00:32:20,062
Scott... I promise
to always remember
787
00:32:20,146 --> 00:32:22,648
- that you are human.
- She's gonna remember he's human.
788
00:32:22,732 --> 00:32:24,316
- You care about people...
- How do you forget that?
789
00:32:24,400 --> 00:32:27,069
How do you do this in front
of people? It's so unseemly...
790
00:32:27,153 --> 00:32:29,196
You've got such big soul.
791
00:32:29,280 --> 00:32:31,991
- And I love that about you.
- I would rather masturbate
792
00:32:32,075 --> 00:32:34,827
in... in public than have
to say that stuff.
793
00:32:34,911 --> 00:32:37,663
Today, I promise to show
that same care
794
00:32:37,747 --> 00:32:40,499
and consideration for you
for the rest of my life.
795
00:32:40,583 --> 00:32:41,959
Oh, this is just so...
796
00:32:42,043 --> 00:32:45,004
I can't take it anymore.
797
00:32:47,048 --> 00:32:48,591
- I agree with her.
- Right now,
798
00:32:48,675 --> 00:32:50,676
- it's the easiest thing in the world to do...
- What's the matter?
799
00:32:50,760 --> 00:32:52,428
...because I honestly love you
so much
800
00:32:52,512 --> 00:32:54,388
- and want nothing but your happiness.
- What?
801
00:32:54,472 --> 00:32:56,056
- I will always show...
- The videographer.
802
00:32:56,140 --> 00:32:57,933
...the same care
and consideration for you.
803
00:32:58,017 --> 00:33:00,936
I'm screwed. She's gonna see
that tape, she'll tell Irma.
804
00:33:01,020 --> 00:33:03,063
Before I get to my vows
and start to cry...
805
00:33:03,147 --> 00:33:04,815
Oh, my God.
806
00:33:04,899 --> 00:33:06,692
Oh, my God. This is bad.
807
00:33:06,776 --> 00:33:09,320
- ...I thought maybe I'd tell the story of how we met.
- I think some of you know.
808
00:33:09,404 --> 00:33:11,447
Obviously, we're both lawyers,
everybody knows that.
809
00:33:11,531 --> 00:33:12,698
We met at a conference...
810
00:33:12,782 --> 00:33:14,158
- Hey...
- can I talk to you for a second?
811
00:33:14,242 --> 00:33:15,576
- I'm sorry to interrupt.
- I'm working.
812
00:33:15,660 --> 00:33:18,287
I know... I know you're working.
Craziest thing happened,
813
00:33:18,371 --> 00:33:19,163
so crazy.
814
00:33:19,247 --> 00:33:21,040
A mosquito got caught
in my throat
815
00:33:21,124 --> 00:33:25,419
and I put my finger down there,
and if they see the video...
816
00:33:25,503 --> 00:33:27,087
- Yeah.
- ...it might be,
817
00:33:27,171 --> 00:33:28,714
you know, misconstrued.
818
00:33:28,798 --> 00:33:30,257
Yeah, 'cause
that's not how it looked.
819
00:33:30,341 --> 00:33:32,509
So, I'm wondering,
maybe if it's possible,
820
00:33:32,593 --> 00:33:35,054
- you could erase it?
- I can't do that. No, I'm sorry.
821
00:33:35,138 --> 00:33:36,805
- Well, uh...
- It's my job.
822
00:33:36,889 --> 00:33:38,599
Is it because of the tucking in
the sweater?
823
00:33:38,683 --> 00:33:40,934
No, you're obsessed with that.
I don't care about that.
824
00:33:41,018 --> 00:33:43,270
If I did offend you,
I apologize.
825
00:33:43,354 --> 00:33:45,230
- I can't. I just can't.
- You sure?
826
00:33:45,314 --> 00:33:48,734
- Totally sure. Okay.
- Yeah. Yo... you know what?
827
00:33:51,946 --> 00:33:56,700
Huh? Your name's...
Samuel Tannenbaum?
828
00:33:56,784 --> 00:34:00,537
- Yes.
- Samuel, my Hebrew brother.
829
00:34:00,621 --> 00:34:03,374
Could you be a mensch
and maybe reconsider
830
00:34:03,458 --> 00:34:05,250
this position for a...
831
00:34:05,334 --> 00:34:08,129
...fellow tribesman.
832
00:34:10,381 --> 00:34:12,132
- Okay. Yeah.
- You'll erase it?
833
00:34:12,216 --> 00:34:13,634
- Yeah, I'll erase it.
- Thank you so much.
834
00:34:13,718 --> 00:34:15,135
- We got off on the wrong foot.
- Yeah, we did.
835
00:34:15,219 --> 00:34:16,887
If this isn't the worst
p... party in your life?
836
00:34:16,971 --> 00:34:19,264
- This is hell. And the vows.
- It's... it's a living hell.
837
00:34:19,348 --> 00:34:21,642
- No, it's literally, it's...
- Could you do me a favor?
838
00:34:21,726 --> 00:34:22,893
Get me again. Do another take
839
00:34:22,977 --> 00:34:25,354
- and I'll have a different reaction.
- Okay, yeah.
840
00:34:25,438 --> 00:34:27,690
- L'chaim.
- L'chaim.
841
00:34:29,025 --> 00:34:31,318
I didn't think this was gonna be
hard but it, it is. Um...
842
00:34:31,402 --> 00:34:34,071
- You got it, man!
- Webster's dictionary
843
00:34:34,155 --> 00:34:36,281
defines paradise...
844
00:34:36,365 --> 00:34:40,744
as "an idyllic,
or ideal place or state."
845
00:34:40,828 --> 00:34:43,539
I define it as,
"Netflix and chilling with you."
846
00:34:46,209 --> 00:34:48,419
- Deidre, I promise...
- Very nice.
847
00:34:48,503 --> 00:34:50,671
- ...to make you smile...
- Oh, my God. This is so beautiful.
848
00:34:50,755 --> 00:34:52,673
- ...as much as you make me.
- I'm sorry.
849
00:34:52,757 --> 00:34:54,842
Even if that means I have
to watch a little less football.
850
00:34:56,594 --> 00:34:59,763
- I promise to listen.
- He promises to listen.
851
00:34:59,847 --> 00:35:02,349
And I promise
to solve the problem if I can.
852
00:35:02,433 --> 00:35:04,518
But not offer solutions...
853
00:35:04,602 --> 00:35:06,145
- You okay?
- Yeah.
854
00:35:06,229 --> 00:35:08,605
...that you didn't ask for, because
I've learned my lesson about that.
855
00:35:08,689 --> 00:35:10,149
They're such a beautiful couple.
856
00:35:10,233 --> 00:35:12,109
- And I promise you are my light.
- I love you, Scooter.
857
00:35:12,193 --> 00:35:14,027
- I love you, Dinkles.
- Aw.
858
00:35:18,574 --> 00:35:20,659
Have a good time.
There's loads of appetizers,
859
00:35:20,743 --> 00:35:24,163
- so help yourselves. Thanks, everybody.
- Yeah. Thank you.
860
00:35:26,249 --> 00:35:31,503
Hello, hi. Hi, hi, hi, hi.
There's no valet.
861
00:35:31,587 --> 00:35:33,714
- Oh, hi.
- Hi, how are you?
862
00:35:33,798 --> 00:35:35,924
- I'm fine. How... Nice to see you, too.
- So good to see you.
863
00:35:36,008 --> 00:35:37,718
- I changed in my car.
- Oh, you did?
864
00:35:37,802 --> 00:35:39,178
- Yes...
- You look so beautiful.
865
00:35:39,262 --> 00:35:40,262
- Thank you.
- You don't wear that
866
00:35:40,346 --> 00:35:42,014
- to your board meeting?
- No, no, no.
867
00:35:42,098 --> 00:35:44,224
Remember the four city workers
that got crushed?
868
00:35:44,308 --> 00:35:45,851
- Yeah.
- Well, we were doing a memorial.
869
00:35:45,935 --> 00:35:47,019
I kept pushing, I kept saying
870
00:35:47,103 --> 00:35:48,562
- "You gotta get 'em all up there."
- Oh.
871
00:35:48,646 --> 00:35:50,856
You know, families were there.
There was a lot of emotions.
872
00:35:50,940 --> 00:35:52,357
- It's so much...
- It's really good.
873
00:35:52,441 --> 00:35:54,109
Oh, that's so... -...we have
the crosswalks for the blind today.
874
00:35:54,193 --> 00:35:55,778
- Hi, hi, hi.
- Oh, good. Hi.
875
00:35:55,862 --> 00:35:57,237
- What did I miss?
- Well, so nice seeing you.
876
00:35:57,321 --> 00:35:58,947
I left my phone
in the bathroom.
877
00:35:59,031 --> 00:36:00,324
- Yes.
- I apologize...
878
00:36:00,408 --> 00:36:01,992
- Okay. Yeah.
- ...and I'll talk to you later.
879
00:36:02,076 --> 00:36:04,745
I wanna see them. Where
are they? Was it wonderful?
880
00:36:04,829 --> 00:36:06,330
- Oh, Deidre...
- You've been nice to Deidre?
881
00:36:06,414 --> 00:36:08,040
- Oh, wonderful. Oh, yes.
- Yes, they're wonderful.
882
00:36:08,124 --> 00:36:09,541
- And Scott?
- Oh, Scotty...
883
00:36:09,625 --> 00:36:11,335
- He's wonderful. And so funny.
- Oh, he's wonderful.
884
00:36:11,419 --> 00:36:13,670
- I love Scotty. Yeah.
- My darling, I'm here...
885
00:36:13,754 --> 00:36:15,172
- Hi!
- ...I'm so sorry.
886
00:36:15,256 --> 00:36:17,174
- Oh, look at you.
- You!
887
00:36:17,258 --> 00:36:19,927
Irma Kostroski!
Keep your fucking hands
888
00:36:20,011 --> 00:36:23,764
off of my husband,
you homewrecker! You whore!
889
00:36:23,848 --> 00:36:25,015
- You slut!
- Susie...
890
00:36:25,099 --> 00:36:26,934
Your mother
is fucking my husband.
891
00:36:27,018 --> 00:36:29,683
- What are you talking...
- You think you're a councilwoman,
892
00:36:29,768 --> 00:36:30,771
you could get away
with anything?
893
00:36:30,855 --> 00:36:31,897
What have I done?
894
00:36:31,981 --> 00:36:33,398
- I smell the lilacs, baby.
- What are you...
895
00:36:33,482 --> 00:36:34,983
- I smell the lilacs...
- What is she talking...
896
00:36:35,067 --> 00:36:36,735
- ...and I knew it was you.
- What is she talking about?
897
00:36:36,819 --> 00:36:38,946
Hey, hey, hey! Hey, hey! Ladies.
898
00:36:39,030 --> 00:36:40,948
Ladies.
Hey, hey, hey, Ladies. Ladies.
899
00:36:41,032 --> 00:36:45,619
What an ending to the evening.
It was so weird. Susie lost it.
900
00:36:45,703 --> 00:36:46,870
But...
901
00:36:46,954 --> 00:36:48,372
I know but we got this.
902
00:36:48,456 --> 00:36:51,041
- I promise to listen...
- I loved your vows.
903
00:36:51,125 --> 00:36:53,168
- I loved your vows.
- I promise to...
904
00:36:53,252 --> 00:36:55,796
- Oh, my God. Look at him.
- If it's important to you,
905
00:36:55,880 --> 00:36:57,965
- it's important to me.
- Is he crying?
906
00:36:58,049 --> 00:36:59,925
- I promise...
- He's like, legit moved.
907
00:37:00,009 --> 00:37:02,302
I have to text my mom.
I have to tell her
908
00:37:02,386 --> 00:37:05,138
that I think he's great.
I'm so happy
909
00:37:05,222 --> 00:37:07,307
that my mom found him.
910
00:37:07,391 --> 00:37:08,851
So, then I found out
911
00:37:08,935 --> 00:37:12,146
his name was Tannenbaum.
I played the Jew card,
912
00:37:12,230 --> 00:37:13,272
I couldn't believe it.
913
00:37:13,356 --> 00:37:14,773
It worked like a charm.
914
00:37:14,857 --> 00:37:17,109
You gotta play those fucking
cards. I'm telling you, man.
915
00:37:17,193 --> 00:37:18,861
Imagine if he was bald,
what I could've done?
916
00:37:18,945 --> 00:37:20,612
I got a whole fucking deck
of cards.
917
00:37:20,696 --> 00:37:22,906
I... I got the Black card,
I got the handsome card,
918
00:37:22,990 --> 00:37:24,867
the tall card,
the Big Johnson card...
919
00:37:24,951 --> 00:37:26,910
Oh, hold on. Hold it.
Hold it. Handsome card?
920
00:37:26,994 --> 00:37:28,787
- Fuck, yeah.
- You don't have a handsome card.
921
00:37:28,871 --> 00:37:29,872
- I got one.
- Who told you
922
00:37:29,956 --> 00:37:31,415
you had a handsome card?
Your mother?
923
00:37:31,499 --> 00:37:32,958
- Everybody.
- Auntie Ray?
924
00:37:33,042 --> 00:37:35,377
The fucking doctor who delivered
my ass. Everybody said that shit.
925
00:37:36,963 --> 00:37:41,133
What's with this?
926
00:37:41,217 --> 00:37:43,510
I thought you told the plumber
how to fix this.
927
00:37:43,594 --> 00:37:45,679
- I thought I did.
- Holy shit.
928
00:37:45,763 --> 00:37:48,390
You don't know what the fuck
you're doing, do you?
929
00:37:48,474 --> 00:37:51,018
♪
930
00:37:51,102 --> 00:37:54,021
What?
931
00:37:54,105 --> 00:37:56,107
♪
932
00:38:04,240 --> 00:38:06,325
Shit, shit...
933
00:38:07,451 --> 00:38:08,494
Leon!
934
00:38:29,974 --> 00:38:32,684
So, how long do you think
this is gonna be?
935
00:38:32,768 --> 00:38:36,939
Well, I don't know what Leon
told these guys to do
936
00:38:37,023 --> 00:38:39,524
but the whole grid has blown.
It could be weeks,
937
00:38:39,608 --> 00:38:42,402
it could be a long time.
Now, this I need pressed
938
00:38:42,486 --> 00:38:44,321
- for tomorrow for work.
- Hmm, yeah.
939
00:38:44,405 --> 00:38:45,656
- Uh, you have a steamer?
- No.
940
00:38:45,740 --> 00:38:46,865
- You don't have a steamer?
- Mm-mm.
941
00:38:46,949 --> 00:38:48,533
- You can iron everything, right?
- Oh, yeah, sure.
942
00:38:48,617 --> 00:38:51,161
Everything in this case needs
to be taken out, ironed and...
943
00:38:51,245 --> 00:38:53,705
- Yeah. Ironed it all, yeah.
- Great. Great. Now,
944
00:38:53,789 --> 00:38:55,040
- when everything is ironed...
- Yeah.
945
00:38:55,124 --> 00:38:56,583
- ...go to the store for me.
- Oh, go to the store?
946
00:38:56,667 --> 00:38:58,752
- Oh, of course.
- Yeah. And I need regular flavor
947
00:38:58,836 --> 00:39:01,004
Metamucil. Not the cherry,
not the orange.
948
00:39:01,088 --> 00:39:02,756
- Mm-hmm.
- And I need arnica...
949
00:39:02,840 --> 00:39:04,591
- Uh-huh.
- ...and I need pickles.
950
00:39:04,675 --> 00:39:06,594
You gotta have pickles.
951
00:39:08,054 --> 00:39:10,389
Pickles?
952
00:39:10,473 --> 00:39:14,393
Ah! The brine.
That's what it is.
953
00:39:14,477 --> 00:39:19,398
- She stinks from pickles.
- Oh, my God! Look at this!
954
00:39:19,482 --> 00:39:22,609
Ugh. Fucking Leon. Everything...
955
00:39:22,693 --> 00:39:24,820
Jesus fucking Christ.
956
00:39:25,988 --> 00:39:29,908
Maybe these are okay.
Jesus, what is this?
957
00:39:29,992 --> 00:39:33,578
Hiding a second fucking phone,
you asshole.
958
00:39:33,662 --> 00:39:37,624
Are you kidding me?
Really, Jeff? Really?
959
00:39:37,708 --> 00:39:42,546
You stupid moron,
you are fucking caught, asshole.
960
00:39:42,630 --> 00:39:44,548
Gotcha.
961
00:39:44,632 --> 00:39:47,217
I've got Susie Greene for you.
962
00:39:47,301 --> 00:39:48,677
Yeah, I'll take her.
963
00:39:50,429 --> 00:39:52,556
- Hey, Susie.
- Hi, how's everything going
964
00:39:52,640 --> 00:39:54,433
- over there?
- Good, good. All good.
965
00:39:54,517 --> 00:39:56,018
Uh-huh. Is your assistant on?
966
00:39:56,102 --> 00:39:57,102
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
967
00:39:57,186 --> 00:39:58,812
- Taking notes as usual?
- Always.
968
00:39:58,896 --> 00:40:00,230
- I am.
- Great.
969
00:40:00,314 --> 00:40:03,650
Take this down.
She's fucking my husband.
970
00:40:03,734 --> 00:40:05,446
"Ba-dump-bump."
971
00:40:08,872 --> 00:40:10,173
Call you back.
972
00:40:13,415 --> 00:40:19,250
"CURB YOUR ENTHUSIASM"
THEME MUSIC PLAYING...
973
00:41:22,290 --> 00:41:23,610
THEME MUSIC CONCLUDES....
77082
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