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Young Sheldon #508
"The Grand Chancellor and a Den of Sin" Closed Captioned
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Previously on
Young Sheldon...
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00:00:02,900 --> 00:00:04,190
A secret casino room?
4
00:00:04,190 --> 00:00:06,030
The cops shut me down.
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00:00:06,030 --> 00:00:07,190
Let's get this going again.
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(slot machines whirring)
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How we doing?
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00:00:09,740 --> 00:00:11,110
There's a problem
with the cashbox.
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00:00:11,110 --> 00:00:12,200
Oh, what's that?
10
00:00:12,200 --> 00:00:14,200
Can't get it to close.
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00:00:14,200 --> 00:00:16,750
That is my kind of problem.
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00:00:18,890 --> 00:00:21,180
ADULT SHELDON:
Let's talk about the glory of meetings.
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What's not to love?
Agendas, detailed minutes,
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00:00:24,140 --> 00:00:26,980
and if you're lucky,
they begin and end
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with the soothing sound
of discipline and rules.
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Ah.
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You can imagine my frustration
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00:00:32,360 --> 00:00:35,030
when I found out East Texas Tech
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00:00:35,030 --> 00:00:38,030
had faculty meetings that
I was not allowed to attend.
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Excuse me.
Not that I didn't try.
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Goodbye, Sheldon.
SHELDON: Darn it.
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(quiet chatter)
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Sheldon, out.
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Aw.
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(quiet chatter)
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Sorry, I thought you were
an irritating young man
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that won't leave me alone.
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SHELDON: That's rude.
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Out.
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So, how was it?
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00:01:03,810 --> 00:01:05,310
Did any subcommittees
get formed?
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00:01:05,310 --> 00:01:07,690
No, Sheldon,
it was just a budget meeting.
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Ooh, budgets, do tell.
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Most of it was about reducing
the gen-ed science requirement
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from eight credits to four.
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But that's less science classes.
Who would want that?
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00:01:16,150 --> 00:01:19,740
Apparently the administration,
the students and their parents.
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00:01:19,740 --> 00:01:21,580
Did anyone try to stop it?
No.
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00:01:21,580 --> 00:01:24,040
Did it spark a heated debate?
Not really, no.
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Were you at least annoyed?
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Do I sound annoyed?
Yes.
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Well, there you go.
Hmm.
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♪ Nobody else
is stronger than I am ♪
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♪ Yesterday I moved a mountain ♪
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♪ I bet I could be your hero ♪
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♪ I am a mighty little man ♪
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♪ I am a mighty little man. ♪
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I can't believe
the faculty is okay with this.
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It just means students
who aren't science majors
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need to take one class
instead of two.
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00:01:55,400 --> 00:01:56,740
But that's 50% less.
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00:01:56,740 --> 00:01:58,110
Sheldon, this doesn't
affect you.
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Less science affects
all of society.
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And in case you haven't noticed,
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I'm good at making things
all about me.
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Yes, I have picked up on that.
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Sorry, there's nothing
I can do about it.
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I understand. You're just
a cog in the machine.
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In fact,
why am I talking to you?
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Feel free to stop.
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I thought you'd be at work.
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I work nights this week.
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Oh, I didn't realize
the Laundromat was open late.
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I did that.
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People work during the day, it
seemed like an untapped market.
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Smart. You know,
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if you want to advertise
your new hours,
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you could take out an ad
in the church bulletin.
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That ain't a bad idea.
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Maybe I'm where you get it from.
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Oh! It could say something like,
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"Jesus washes away your sins,
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and we'll wash away
your stains."
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(chuckles): Wow!
You are really good at this.
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(laughs)
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SHELDON: And do you
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really want to be the president
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of a university
that is responsible
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for the dumbing down
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of scientific discourse
on this campus?
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I totally agree with you.
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You do?
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Oh, it's an outrage.
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I came here to make this school
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the Harvard of East Texas.
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Not the...
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Wh-What's
your least favorite school?
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MIT.
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00:03:08,890 --> 00:03:11,640
Not the MIT of East Texas.
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Nice dig at MIT.
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(chuckles):
Well, they deserve it.
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So, you're gonna keep the
science requirements the same?
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If it were up to me, yes.
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But you're the president.
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Everyone has a boss, Sheldon.
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Now, unfortunately,
I have to answer to the...
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grand chancellor.
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Oh. I've never heard of him.
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Oh, well, he definitely exists.
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Perhaps I should speak with him.
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I appreciate that,
but this is my fight--
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win or lose--
and I'll probably lose,
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but I am gonna go down swinging,
I promise you that.
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Can I help?
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Absolutely.
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I need you to put together
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a report backing up
our position.
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Charts, graphs--
the whole shebang.
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Hmm.
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Charts and graphs of what?
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(stammers)
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Am I helping you
or are you helping me?
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Uh, of course.
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I'll figure it out.
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I know you will.
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Okay, now,
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get out of here.
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You have a lot of work to do.
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Yes, ma'am.
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(sighs)
(door opens)
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(door closes)
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Kid makes me thirsty.
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(coughing)
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Maybe we take a little break
and let this one dry out.
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You don't have to ask me twice.
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(coughing)
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Do you ever
think about quitting?
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This job? Yeah.
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Since when did we start
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advertising gambling rooms?
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What? It's a Laundromat.
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00:04:38,480 --> 00:04:42,940
Yeah, and the massage parlor off
the freeway is for stiff necks.
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(scoffs) Well, that is
a legitimate business.
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00:04:45,950 --> 00:04:48,410
My mother owns it,
my son works there.
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If you say so.
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I do say so.
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Fine.
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It's true.
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I'd say, "Want to bet,"
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00:04:55,620 --> 00:04:57,330
but I lost 40 bucks last night
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00:04:57,330 --> 00:05:00,000
at your mom's
"legitimate business."
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Are you running a gambling room
in the back of the Laundromat?
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00:05:03,300 --> 00:05:05,430
What? No.
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00:05:05,430 --> 00:05:07,510
Peg says she was there
last night.
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Oh, "gambling room."
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00:05:09,890 --> 00:05:10,970
Yeah.
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What are you thinking?
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You know gambling is illegal.
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00:05:19,710 --> 00:05:22,290
Why do you care
how people spend their money?
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00:05:22,290 --> 00:05:25,050
Gambling destroys lives.
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00:05:25,050 --> 00:05:26,800
That's what you say about booze.
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00:05:26,800 --> 00:05:28,920
I think it's
an excellent pairing.
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Wait, does Georgie
know about all of this?
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Um...
Oh, my Lord.
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It's okay,
I'm looking after for him.
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What if the police show up?
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00:05:39,600 --> 00:05:41,400
Don't you worry about them.
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00:05:41,400 --> 00:05:42,770
We got an understanding.
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00:05:42,770 --> 00:05:43,810
What does that mean?
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00:05:43,810 --> 00:05:44,940
I'd explain it to you,
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00:05:44,940 --> 00:05:46,230
but you wouldn't understand.
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You are unbelievable.
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It is bad enough
for you to do all this stuff,
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but then to drag Georgie down
into your den of sin.
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Oh, please,
it's not a den of sin.
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Although that is a great name.
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Den of Sin.
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That would get
some butts in seats.
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00:06:02,790 --> 00:06:04,290
(exclaims)
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The chancellor said no?
Did he even look at my report?
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He did, he was impressed,
but it didn't change his mind.
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After all our hard work.
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I know. Bummer.
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But hey,
we gave it our best shot,
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00:06:18,310 --> 00:06:20,100
so time to move on, right?
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Absolutely not.
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Are you sure?
'Cause it feels like time to me.
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We have to keep fighting.
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If Antonie van Leeuwenhoek
had given up,
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00:06:27,610 --> 00:06:28,820
where would we be?
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00:06:29,820 --> 00:06:30,950
Where would we be?
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In a world without microscopes.
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00:06:32,450 --> 00:06:34,660
Because that guy invented them?
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00:06:34,660 --> 00:06:36,990
Boy, did he. At least
the first modern microscope.
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00:06:36,990 --> 00:06:38,620
He's known as
the father of microbiology.
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I have a good book on him
I could loan you.
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Anyway, we can't give up.
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Hey, you are preaching
to the choir,
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but... (scoffs)
I mean, what can we do?
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I could write to some science
luminaries,
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00:06:47,170 --> 00:06:48,460
try get them on our side.
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00:06:48,460 --> 00:06:49,960
Stephen Hawking,
Carl Sagan.
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00:06:49,960 --> 00:06:51,840
Not Antonie van Leeuwenhoek.
He's dead.
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00:06:51,840 --> 00:06:53,590
All right,
but just on the off chance
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that they're too busy to reply,
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I think that you should
get out there on campus,
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00:06:58,560 --> 00:07:00,680
talk to students,
change their minds.
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00:07:00,680 --> 00:07:03,310
One-on-one?
That could take months.
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00:07:03,310 --> 00:07:04,650
Great.
200
00:07:04,650 --> 00:07:06,480
ALEX TREBEK:
Animated films.
201
00:07:06,480 --> 00:07:08,150
Frog anatomy.
202
00:07:08,150 --> 00:07:11,320
The Bible.
Why are you watching Jeopardy?
203
00:07:11,320 --> 00:07:13,990
Sheldon's not the only one
who likes to learn stuff.
204
00:07:13,990 --> 00:07:15,660
You don't know
where the remote is.
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00:07:15,660 --> 00:07:17,660
It's right here.
206
00:07:17,660 --> 00:07:18,950
It's just out of batteries.
207
00:07:18,950 --> 00:07:20,410
Want me to get some?
208
00:07:20,410 --> 00:07:22,370
Hurry, I hate this show.
(door opens, closes)
209
00:07:23,790 --> 00:07:25,000
Is Georgie here?
210
00:07:25,000 --> 00:07:26,830
No, I think he's still at work.
211
00:07:26,830 --> 00:07:30,090
Do you know that that Laundromat
is just a front for gambling?
212
00:07:30,090 --> 00:07:31,090
MISSY:
Cool.
213
00:07:31,090 --> 00:07:32,670
Missy Cooper,
214
00:07:32,670 --> 00:07:34,590
that was not for your ears.
Go to your room.
215
00:07:36,010 --> 00:07:37,180
So, what's this all about?
216
00:07:38,180 --> 00:07:40,430
My mother is running
a gambling room
217
00:07:40,430 --> 00:07:41,970
out of the back
of the Laundromat,
218
00:07:41,970 --> 00:07:44,020
and she has Georgie helping her.
219
00:07:44,020 --> 00:07:45,900
They never invited me.
220
00:07:45,900 --> 00:07:47,190
George.
221
00:07:47,190 --> 00:07:48,650
We have to get him out of there.
222
00:07:48,650 --> 00:07:50,570
Mary, we told him
not to drop out of school,
223
00:07:50,570 --> 00:07:52,110
he dropped out of school.
224
00:07:52,110 --> 00:07:54,650
Told him he couldn't
have girls in the garage,
225
00:07:54,650 --> 00:07:56,360
he has girls in the garage.
226
00:07:56,360 --> 00:07:58,120
He does?
MISSY: So many.
227
00:07:58,120 --> 00:07:59,200
(scoffs) Missy!
228
00:07:59,200 --> 00:08:00,700
I'm in my room.
229
00:08:00,700 --> 00:08:01,740
Well, close the door.
230
00:08:02,750 --> 00:08:04,750
(door creaks slowly)
231
00:08:04,750 --> 00:08:06,040
All the way.
232
00:08:06,040 --> 00:08:07,250
(door closes)
233
00:08:07,250 --> 00:08:08,290
The point is,
234
00:08:08,290 --> 00:08:09,540
he didn't listen to us then,
235
00:08:09,540 --> 00:08:10,710
he's not gonna listen now.
236
00:08:10,710 --> 00:08:12,130
So, we do nothing?
237
00:08:12,130 --> 00:08:13,960
We let him
make his own mistakes.
238
00:08:13,960 --> 00:08:16,680
That just sounds like another
way of saying we do nothing.
239
00:08:16,680 --> 00:08:18,220
I'm gonna go down there.
240
00:08:18,220 --> 00:08:20,350
And that's a mistake
I'm gonna let you make.
241
00:08:21,350 --> 00:08:22,890
(sighs)
242
00:08:22,890 --> 00:08:24,930
(TV continues indistinctly)
243
00:08:24,930 --> 00:08:27,100
Missy! Batteries!
244
00:08:27,100 --> 00:08:29,560
ADULT SHELDON:
President Hagemeyer was counting on me
245
00:08:29,560 --> 00:08:32,400
to turn the tide
of public opinion
246
00:08:32,400 --> 00:08:33,820
and ignite the outrage
of my fellow students.
247
00:08:33,820 --> 00:08:36,450
Excuse me, would you like
to sign my petition?
248
00:08:36,450 --> 00:08:37,740
It's about
the university reducing
249
00:08:37,740 --> 00:08:39,030
our science requirements.
250
00:08:39,030 --> 00:08:40,410
(chuckles):
Less science? Sweet.
251
00:08:40,410 --> 00:08:41,830
No, it's to stop the reduction
252
00:08:41,830 --> 00:08:44,330
and keep our
science curriculum strong.
253
00:08:45,660 --> 00:08:47,500
Are you hurrying off
to tell your friends?
254
00:08:52,590 --> 00:08:54,000
"Ben Dover."
255
00:08:54,000 --> 00:08:55,130
Thanks, Ben.
256
00:08:56,090 --> 00:08:57,420
No.
Nuh-uh.
257
00:08:57,420 --> 00:08:58,970
Nope.
258
00:09:01,300 --> 00:09:03,430
Excuse me, would you like to
sign my petition about keeping
259
00:09:03,430 --> 00:09:05,430
our science requirements strong?
Of course.
260
00:09:05,430 --> 00:09:06,560
If you'll sign mine
261
00:09:06,560 --> 00:09:08,020
to increase funding
262
00:09:08,020 --> 00:09:09,600
for the school jazz band.
263
00:09:09,600 --> 00:09:11,310
Let's pretend we never met.
264
00:09:12,570 --> 00:09:14,110
ADULT SHELDON:
I needed a new plan.
265
00:09:14,110 --> 00:09:16,110
One where I could
reach the masses.
266
00:09:16,110 --> 00:09:17,990
The front page
of the campus newspaper
267
00:09:17,990 --> 00:09:19,780
was my best course of action.
268
00:09:19,780 --> 00:09:22,620
I deployed every weapon
in my literary arsenal.
269
00:09:22,620 --> 00:09:23,990
Humor.
270
00:09:23,990 --> 00:09:24,990
So funny.
271
00:09:24,990 --> 00:09:26,700
Gravitas.
272
00:09:26,700 --> 00:09:27,710
So moving.
273
00:09:27,710 --> 00:09:29,120
Fearmongering.
274
00:09:29,120 --> 00:09:30,170
So scary.
275
00:09:30,170 --> 00:09:32,040
And last but not least,
276
00:09:32,040 --> 00:09:33,750
heartfelt emotion.
277
00:09:33,750 --> 00:09:36,170
Eh, not where I shine.
I'll end on fear.
278
00:09:38,300 --> 00:09:39,840
(music playing faintly on radio)
279
00:09:39,840 --> 00:09:42,090
(quiet chatter)
280
00:09:42,970 --> 00:09:45,720
Excuse me,
if I had an exposé
281
00:09:45,720 --> 00:09:48,060
that's going to rip the lid off
this university's leadership
282
00:09:48,060 --> 00:09:50,140
and shine a light
on its rotten core,
283
00:09:50,140 --> 00:09:51,150
who would I turn that in to?
284
00:09:51,150 --> 00:09:52,350
You can give it to me.
285
00:09:52,350 --> 00:09:54,150
I'd feel more comfortable
giving it
286
00:09:54,150 --> 00:09:56,150
to someone who's less likely
to roll it up and smoke it.
287
00:09:56,150 --> 00:09:58,740
Well, I'm the editor,
so it's me or nothing.
288
00:09:58,740 --> 00:10:00,110
Very well.
289
00:10:00,110 --> 00:10:02,490
I'm handing you
the scoop of a lifetime.
290
00:10:02,490 --> 00:10:03,990
Okay.
291
00:10:03,990 --> 00:10:06,700
As your people say,
I think you'll dig it.
292
00:10:09,830 --> 00:10:11,170
Georgie.
293
00:10:11,170 --> 00:10:12,880
Hey, what are you doing here?
294
00:10:13,880 --> 00:10:16,340
I know about the room
in the back.
295
00:10:16,340 --> 00:10:19,510
Do you know
whether or not I know?
296
00:10:19,510 --> 00:10:20,550
Yes.
297
00:10:20,550 --> 00:10:21,550
Okay, that's gonna
298
00:10:21,550 --> 00:10:22,550
save us a lot of time.
299
00:10:22,550 --> 00:10:23,840
It is not okay.
300
00:10:23,840 --> 00:10:25,350
You are quitting right now.
301
00:10:25,350 --> 00:10:26,720
Why would I do that?
302
00:10:26,720 --> 00:10:30,180
Because I am your mother,
and it is wrong.
303
00:10:30,180 --> 00:10:32,810
Well, I'm working for your
mother, and she says it's okay.
304
00:10:33,850 --> 00:10:35,480
And I answer to a higher power,
305
00:10:35,480 --> 00:10:37,520
and He says it's also wrong,
so I win, let's go.
306
00:10:37,520 --> 00:10:39,610
Mom, please don't make
a big deal out of this.
307
00:10:39,610 --> 00:10:42,110
Oh, so there is
an illegal gambling room
308
00:10:42,110 --> 00:10:43,860
in the back,
and it's no big deal?
309
00:10:43,860 --> 00:10:45,200
There's a gambling room
back there?
310
00:10:45,200 --> 00:10:46,990
And there is a church
two blocks down,
311
00:10:46,990 --> 00:10:48,660
so maybe try that.
312
00:10:48,660 --> 00:10:50,540
Just go around to the alley.
The password is "dryer sheet."
313
00:10:51,540 --> 00:10:53,710
This is not a joke.
314
00:10:53,710 --> 00:10:55,250
I'm worried about your soul.
315
00:10:55,250 --> 00:10:57,380
I'm not gambling.
No one's getting hurt.
316
00:10:57,380 --> 00:11:01,130
Georgie, I know you think that,
but this does hurt people.
317
00:11:01,130 --> 00:11:03,130
It's not my business
what people do with their money.
318
00:11:03,130 --> 00:11:05,050
And it ain't your business,
either, so butt out.
319
00:11:08,720 --> 00:11:10,560
ADULT SHELDON:
The next day,
320
00:11:10,560 --> 00:11:13,190
I got to campus early
to get a copy of my article,
321
00:11:13,190 --> 00:11:14,940
hot off the presses.
322
00:11:14,940 --> 00:11:17,230
Normally, I don't like
getting newspaper ink
323
00:11:17,230 --> 00:11:19,400
on my hands,
but this was worth it.
324
00:11:20,730 --> 00:11:22,900
Plus, I had Wet-Naps.
325
00:11:24,740 --> 00:11:26,120
Where's my exposé?
326
00:11:26,120 --> 00:11:28,620
I didn't run it.
What? Why?
327
00:11:28,620 --> 00:11:30,580
You're blaming this whole thing
on a grand chancellor.
328
00:11:30,580 --> 00:11:32,200
There's no such person.
329
00:11:32,200 --> 00:11:34,620
Of course there is.
He's President Hagemeyer's boss.
330
00:11:34,620 --> 00:11:36,750
She doesn't have a boss.
She's the president.
331
00:11:36,750 --> 00:11:38,340
Yes, she does, and we've been
trying to fight him,
332
00:11:38,340 --> 00:11:39,920
but he won't budge.
333
00:11:39,920 --> 00:11:42,590
The grand chancellor?
334
00:11:42,590 --> 00:11:44,630
Well, when you say it like that
it sounds made-up.
335
00:11:45,970 --> 00:11:46,970
How would you say it?
336
00:11:46,970 --> 00:11:48,300
The grand chancellor.
337
00:11:49,720 --> 00:11:51,060
I've been had.
338
00:11:57,350 --> 00:11:59,440
Mm-hmm. Oh.
339
00:11:59,440 --> 00:12:00,940
Not now, I'm on the phone.
340
00:12:00,940 --> 00:12:02,940
Oh, are you talking
to the grand chancellor?
341
00:12:02,940 --> 00:12:05,150
Who I know doesn't exist,
just like your integrity.
342
00:12:05,150 --> 00:12:06,360
Uh, I'll-I'll call you back.
343
00:12:06,360 --> 00:12:07,740
Don't believe her!
344
00:12:07,740 --> 00:12:09,780
You can't just
barge into my office.
345
00:12:09,780 --> 00:12:11,290
And you can't just
lie to my face.
346
00:12:11,290 --> 00:12:12,540
I can and I did.
347
00:12:12,540 --> 00:12:13,660
Well, I'm going to start
348
00:12:13,660 --> 00:12:15,410
calling you President Hage-liar,
349
00:12:15,410 --> 00:12:16,750
and I think it'll to catch on
350
00:12:16,750 --> 00:12:18,500
because it's
both true and clever.
351
00:12:18,500 --> 00:12:20,790
Look, I know you're upset,
but you left me no choice.
352
00:12:20,790 --> 00:12:23,210
I knew you'd be a pain
in the ass about these cuts.
353
00:12:23,210 --> 00:12:24,590
Language, and also, these cuts
354
00:12:24,590 --> 00:12:26,300
are detrimental
on so many levels.
355
00:12:26,300 --> 00:12:27,590
Not to the university.
356
00:12:27,590 --> 00:12:29,260
Look... (sighs)
357
00:12:29,260 --> 00:12:31,810
My job means sometimes
making very hard decisions.
358
00:12:31,810 --> 00:12:33,270
Now, I'm sorry
that I lied to you,
359
00:12:33,270 --> 00:12:35,980
and-and if it helps,
I didn't enjoy it.
360
00:12:35,980 --> 00:12:37,980
Yes, you did.
(chuckles): Yes, I did.
361
00:12:37,980 --> 00:12:40,060
I mean, grand chancellor?
(snorts)
362
00:12:40,060 --> 00:12:41,320
I really pulled that one
out of my...
363
00:12:41,320 --> 00:12:43,650
Ah-ah.
...bottom.
364
00:12:43,650 --> 00:12:45,900
Well, I can
lie about things, too.
365
00:12:46,900 --> 00:12:48,740
Did I knock your papers
on the floor?
366
00:12:50,740 --> 00:12:52,080
No, I didn't.
367
00:12:52,080 --> 00:12:53,990
Did I move your stapler?
368
00:12:53,990 --> 00:12:55,080
No, I didn't.
369
00:12:55,080 --> 00:12:58,080
Ooh, did I break your pencil?
370
00:12:59,710 --> 00:13:01,040
(grunts)
371
00:13:01,040 --> 00:13:02,540
Yes, I did.
372
00:13:04,840 --> 00:13:05,840
Hey, Mary.
373
00:13:05,840 --> 00:13:07,220
Quick question.
374
00:13:07,220 --> 00:13:09,050
Why can I see you
through my newsletter?
375
00:13:09,050 --> 00:13:12,350
Oh, sorry,
I had to remove one of the ads.
376
00:13:12,350 --> 00:13:13,930
Was there anything important
on the other side?
377
00:13:13,930 --> 00:13:17,020
Just Peg's recipe
for her grape salad.
378
00:13:17,020 --> 00:13:19,400
With the mayonnaise
and the pretzels. Barf.
379
00:13:20,770 --> 00:13:22,230
Everything okay?
380
00:13:25,610 --> 00:13:28,030
I feel like I'm a failure
as a mother.
381
00:13:28,030 --> 00:13:29,450
What?
382
00:13:30,410 --> 00:13:32,200
Why?
383
00:13:34,410 --> 00:13:36,830
Georgie dropped out of school,
384
00:13:36,830 --> 00:13:39,120
and now he's working
in a gambling room.
385
00:13:40,460 --> 00:13:42,960
I tried so hard
to keep him on the right path,
386
00:13:42,960 --> 00:13:45,750
and now I feel like
I'm just pushing him away.
387
00:13:45,750 --> 00:13:47,920
Hey, teenagers rebel.
388
00:13:47,920 --> 00:13:49,470
When I was a kid
389
00:13:49,470 --> 00:13:51,640
in El Paso,
we used to cross the border
390
00:13:51,640 --> 00:13:53,430
to drink beer
and dance the night away.
391
00:13:53,430 --> 00:13:55,720
I thought
your father was a pastor.
392
00:13:55,720 --> 00:13:58,100
He was.
It didn't stop me.
393
00:13:58,100 --> 00:14:00,270
It's hard to imagine.
394
00:14:00,270 --> 00:14:01,940
I'm sure my father
felt the same way
395
00:14:01,940 --> 00:14:03,980
when he found his little jefe
doing the hustle
396
00:14:03,980 --> 00:14:05,230
en la discoteca.
397
00:14:05,230 --> 00:14:06,860
(both chuckle)
398
00:14:06,860 --> 00:14:10,400
Just picture this,
but with a big ol' '70s perm.
399
00:14:10,400 --> 00:14:11,780
I looked like a Chia Pet.
400
00:14:11,780 --> 00:14:12,950
♪ Do the hustle. ♪
401
00:14:14,870 --> 00:14:16,120
(music playing faintly on radio)
402
00:14:16,120 --> 00:14:17,790
I still can't believe
she lied to me.
403
00:14:17,790 --> 00:14:21,420
Look, here's something
you should know about life:
404
00:14:21,420 --> 00:14:22,790
People lie.
405
00:14:22,790 --> 00:14:23,960
Everybody?
406
00:14:23,960 --> 00:14:25,090
Pretty much.
407
00:14:25,090 --> 00:14:26,590
Well, I don't like it.
408
00:14:26,590 --> 00:14:29,010
Mm. It's not always
a bad thing.
409
00:14:29,010 --> 00:14:31,090
When is lying good?
410
00:14:31,090 --> 00:14:34,930
Like when you're trying
to spare someone's feelings.
411
00:14:34,930 --> 00:14:37,430
Oh, I'd rather everybody
just be honest.
412
00:14:37,430 --> 00:14:38,720
Hmm.
413
00:14:38,720 --> 00:14:40,430
Fine.
414
00:14:40,430 --> 00:14:42,520
The last thing I wanted to do
today was pick you up.
415
00:14:42,520 --> 00:14:44,270
You said you were
happy to do it.
416
00:14:44,270 --> 00:14:45,770
See? Lies.
417
00:14:45,770 --> 00:14:47,770
Not the worst.
418
00:14:48,780 --> 00:14:51,450
I think I need to stop
blindly trusting everything.
419
00:14:51,450 --> 00:14:53,820
Hmm. Probably not
a bad idea.
420
00:14:53,820 --> 00:14:54,950
Thanks.
421
00:14:54,950 --> 00:14:56,660
I wish I could believe you.
422
00:14:59,450 --> 00:15:01,460
ADULT SHELDON:
Once I was on the lookout for liars,
423
00:15:01,460 --> 00:15:03,870
I saw them everywhere.
...absolutely necessary.
424
00:15:03,870 --> 00:15:06,500
You're not a captain.
You're just an actor.
425
00:15:06,500 --> 00:15:08,170
Which is another word for liar.
426
00:15:08,170 --> 00:15:10,510
And nothing...
427
00:15:10,510 --> 00:15:12,840
is more important than my ship.
428
00:15:12,840 --> 00:15:15,800
He's so darn good at it, though.
429
00:15:18,060 --> 00:15:20,060
(cereal crackling)
430
00:15:21,020 --> 00:15:22,940
I hear no snap,
431
00:15:22,940 --> 00:15:26,020
I hear no pop,
only crackle.
432
00:15:30,980 --> 00:15:32,650
A bowl of lies.
433
00:15:32,650 --> 00:15:34,030
(indistinct chatter)
434
00:15:35,490 --> 00:15:37,530
Why are you watching wrestling?
435
00:15:37,530 --> 00:15:39,240
They beat the crap
out of each other.
436
00:15:39,240 --> 00:15:40,240
It's great.
437
00:15:40,240 --> 00:15:41,660
I bet it's all fake.
438
00:15:41,660 --> 00:15:43,370
Does that look fake to you?
439
00:15:45,330 --> 00:15:48,250
Okay, it's nice to know
something's real.
440
00:15:49,250 --> 00:15:50,630
Ooh, he's bleeding.
441
00:15:50,630 --> 00:15:52,380
Please watch over Missy
and Sheldon
442
00:15:52,380 --> 00:15:54,680
and especially Georgie.
443
00:15:54,680 --> 00:15:57,090
And please don't let
my failings as a mother
444
00:15:57,090 --> 00:15:59,640
get in the way of Your plans
for their lives.
445
00:15:59,640 --> 00:16:00,760
Amen.
446
00:16:01,720 --> 00:16:03,430
(gasps)
447
00:16:03,430 --> 00:16:06,230
Hey, baby. What's wrong?
448
00:16:06,230 --> 00:16:07,900
Is it that obvious?
449
00:16:07,900 --> 00:16:11,690
Well, you are outside,
where birds live.
450
00:16:11,690 --> 00:16:13,820
True. I'll make it quick.
451
00:16:13,820 --> 00:16:16,950
I'm experiencing what
the Germans call weltschmerz.
452
00:16:16,950 --> 00:16:18,030
Uh-huh.
453
00:16:18,030 --> 00:16:20,450
And what do Americans call it?
454
00:16:20,450 --> 00:16:21,740
The pain of the world.
455
00:16:21,740 --> 00:16:23,700
Sounds more fun in German.
456
00:16:23,700 --> 00:16:25,210
Most things do.
457
00:16:25,210 --> 00:16:27,750
Hmm. Sit.
458
00:16:28,710 --> 00:16:31,210
Tell me why you have...
What is it?
459
00:16:31,210 --> 00:16:33,960
Weltschmerz.
460
00:16:35,550 --> 00:16:37,550
It's recently come
to my attention
461
00:16:37,550 --> 00:16:39,340
that everybody lies
and you can't believe
462
00:16:39,340 --> 00:16:41,220
a thing that comes out
of anyone's mouth.
463
00:16:41,220 --> 00:16:44,980
I don't think everybody lies.
You don't lie.
464
00:16:44,980 --> 00:16:47,060
No, but perhaps to
get by in the world
465
00:16:47,060 --> 00:16:48,810
it's a skill
I should cultivate.
466
00:16:48,810 --> 00:16:50,310
I hope you don't.
467
00:16:50,310 --> 00:16:51,820
I love your honesty.
468
00:16:51,820 --> 00:16:54,280
I want to believe you.
469
00:16:54,280 --> 00:16:55,900
(scoffs) You should,
470
00:16:55,900 --> 00:16:58,320
because I'm your mother
and I would never lie to you.
471
00:16:58,320 --> 00:16:59,990
I would never lie
to you, either.
472
00:16:59,990 --> 00:17:02,240
So, I guess not everybody lies.
473
00:17:04,950 --> 00:17:06,580
I heard what you said
in your prayer,
474
00:17:06,580 --> 00:17:08,620
and I don't think you're
failing as a mother.
475
00:17:08,620 --> 00:17:10,540
Thank you.
476
00:17:10,540 --> 00:17:13,340
I think you're
a pretty great son yourself.
477
00:17:13,340 --> 00:17:15,300
I know I'm difficult.
478
00:17:16,970 --> 00:17:19,930
There is not a single thing
about you I would change.
479
00:17:19,930 --> 00:17:23,600
ADULT SHELDON:
My mom promised she would never lie to me.
480
00:17:23,600 --> 00:17:25,020
And she never did.
481
00:17:25,020 --> 00:17:26,270
(whispers):
I'm sorry.
482
00:17:32,940 --> 00:17:34,980
(slot machines whirring)
483
00:17:36,530 --> 00:17:37,530
Hey.
484
00:17:37,530 --> 00:17:39,200
Mom send you?
485
00:17:39,200 --> 00:17:40,610
No.
486
00:17:40,610 --> 00:17:41,870
She also doesn't know I'm here,
487
00:17:41,870 --> 00:17:43,120
so let's keep that between us.
488
00:17:43,120 --> 00:17:44,620
All right.
489
00:17:44,620 --> 00:17:46,370
Where's your meemaw?
490
00:17:46,370 --> 00:17:47,830
Not here.
She leaves me in charge
491
00:17:47,830 --> 00:17:49,660
when she's gone.
Is that right?
492
00:17:49,660 --> 00:17:51,880
I also handle stuff
in the Laundromat.
493
00:17:51,880 --> 00:17:53,250
Well, good for you.
494
00:17:53,250 --> 00:17:56,670
So... you're okay
with me working here?
495
00:17:58,170 --> 00:17:59,550
Well, since I never been here
496
00:17:59,550 --> 00:18:01,180
and we never had
this conversation...
497
00:18:02,140 --> 00:18:03,390
...sure.
498
00:18:03,390 --> 00:18:05,180
Cool.
Want to give it a spin?
499
00:18:06,850 --> 00:18:08,600
These things really pay out?
500
00:18:08,600 --> 00:18:09,980
All the time.
501
00:18:11,140 --> 00:18:13,150
Not that one.
We call it the homewrecker.
502
00:18:13,150 --> 00:18:14,860
Which one, then?
503
00:18:14,860 --> 00:18:16,320
That one's your buddy.
504
00:18:17,320 --> 00:18:18,530
Yeah?
505
00:18:20,320 --> 00:18:22,860
Look at me!
I-I won two dollars!
506
00:18:26,370 --> 00:18:28,330
(phone rings)
507
00:18:28,330 --> 00:18:29,790
President Hagemeyer.
508
00:18:29,790 --> 00:18:31,040
(speaking device):
Miss Hagemeyer,
509
00:18:31,040 --> 00:18:32,710
Stephen Hawking here.
510
00:18:33,580 --> 00:18:36,500
Oh, hello. I...
511
00:18:36,500 --> 00:18:39,090
I... Is this really
Stephen Hawking?
512
00:18:39,090 --> 00:18:41,590
Does it not sound like me?
513
00:18:41,590 --> 00:18:44,470
Sorry, I have a cold.
514
00:18:44,470 --> 00:18:45,890
Oh, uh...
515
00:18:45,890 --> 00:18:48,350
That was a joke. Ha, ha, ha.
516
00:18:48,350 --> 00:18:50,600
(chuckles) Uh...
517
00:18:50,600 --> 00:18:52,310
how can I help you, sir?
518
00:18:52,310 --> 00:18:54,980
I received a letter
from one of your students
519
00:18:54,980 --> 00:18:58,860
about the decision
to reduce science requirements.
520
00:18:59,860 --> 00:19:01,400
Very disappointing.
521
00:19:01,400 --> 00:19:03,660
Well, I would never
want to disappoint you,
522
00:19:03,660 --> 00:19:06,030
but that-that wasn't
my decision.
523
00:19:06,030 --> 00:19:08,580
Whose decision was it?
524
00:19:09,660 --> 00:19:11,910
The grand chancellor.
525
00:19:11,910 --> 00:19:14,330
That is a lie.
Yeah, yeah, that's a lie.
526
00:19:14,330 --> 00:19:17,960
Has anyone ever called you
President Hage-liar?
527
00:19:18,010 --> 00:19:22,560
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