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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:00,800 Young Sheldon #508 "The Grand Chancellor and a Den of Sin" Closed Captioned 2 00:00:01,000 --> 00:00:02,700 Previously on Young Sheldon... 3 00:00:02,900 --> 00:00:04,190 A secret casino room? 4 00:00:04,190 --> 00:00:06,030 The cops shut me down. 5 00:00:06,030 --> 00:00:07,190 Let's get this going again. 6 00:00:07,190 --> 00:00:08,530 (slot machines whirring) 7 00:00:08,530 --> 00:00:09,740 How we doing? 8 00:00:09,740 --> 00:00:11,110 There's a problem with the cashbox. 9 00:00:11,110 --> 00:00:12,200 Oh, what's that? 10 00:00:12,200 --> 00:00:14,200 Can't get it to close. 11 00:00:14,200 --> 00:00:16,750 That is my kind of problem. 12 00:00:18,890 --> 00:00:21,180 ADULT SHELDON: Let's talk about the glory of meetings. 13 00:00:21,180 --> 00:00:24,140 What's not to love? Agendas, detailed minutes, 14 00:00:24,140 --> 00:00:26,980 and if you're lucky, they begin and end 15 00:00:26,980 --> 00:00:28,480 with the soothing sound of discipline and rules. 16 00:00:28,480 --> 00:00:30,320 Ah. 17 00:00:30,320 --> 00:00:32,360 You can imagine my frustration 18 00:00:32,360 --> 00:00:35,030 when I found out East Texas Tech 19 00:00:35,030 --> 00:00:38,030 had faculty meetings that I was not allowed to attend. 20 00:00:38,030 --> 00:00:39,330 Excuse me. Not that I didn't try. 21 00:00:39,330 --> 00:00:41,330 Goodbye, Sheldon. SHELDON: Darn it. 22 00:00:42,370 --> 00:00:44,660 (quiet chatter) 23 00:00:45,670 --> 00:00:47,040 Sheldon, out. 24 00:00:47,040 --> 00:00:48,540 Aw. 25 00:00:49,670 --> 00:00:50,880 (quiet chatter) 26 00:00:54,590 --> 00:00:57,390 Sorry, I thought you were an irritating young man 27 00:00:57,390 --> 00:00:58,930 that won't leave me alone. 28 00:00:58,930 --> 00:01:00,390 SHELDON: That's rude. 29 00:01:01,260 --> 00:01:02,270 Out. 30 00:01:02,270 --> 00:01:03,810 So, how was it? 31 00:01:03,810 --> 00:01:05,310 Did any subcommittees get formed? 32 00:01:05,310 --> 00:01:07,690 No, Sheldon, it was just a budget meeting. 33 00:01:07,690 --> 00:01:09,560 Ooh, budgets, do tell. 34 00:01:09,560 --> 00:01:12,030 Most of it was about reducing the gen-ed science requirement 35 00:01:12,030 --> 00:01:13,690 from eight credits to four. 36 00:01:13,690 --> 00:01:16,150 But that's less science classes. Who would want that? 37 00:01:16,150 --> 00:01:19,740 Apparently the administration, the students and their parents. 38 00:01:19,740 --> 00:01:21,580 Did anyone try to stop it? No. 39 00:01:21,580 --> 00:01:24,040 Did it spark a heated debate? Not really, no. 40 00:01:24,040 --> 00:01:25,790 Were you at least annoyed? 41 00:01:25,790 --> 00:01:27,540 Do I sound annoyed? Yes. 42 00:01:27,540 --> 00:01:29,880 Well, there you go. Hmm. 43 00:01:29,880 --> 00:01:32,800 ♪ Nobody else is stronger than I am ♪ 44 00:01:32,800 --> 00:01:35,630 ♪ Yesterday I moved a mountain ♪ 45 00:01:35,630 --> 00:01:38,220 ♪ I bet I could be your hero ♪ 46 00:01:38,220 --> 00:01:40,550 ♪ I am a mighty little man ♪ 47 00:01:40,550 --> 00:01:44,810 ♪ I am a mighty little man. ♪ 48 00:01:47,890 --> 00:01:50,560 I can't believe the faculty is okay with this. 49 00:01:50,560 --> 00:01:53,070 It just means students who aren't science majors 50 00:01:53,070 --> 00:01:55,400 need to take one class instead of two. 51 00:01:55,400 --> 00:01:56,740 But that's 50% less. 52 00:01:56,740 --> 00:01:58,110 Sheldon, this doesn't affect you. 53 00:01:58,110 --> 00:01:59,820 Less science affects all of society. 54 00:01:59,820 --> 00:02:01,200 And in case you haven't noticed, 55 00:02:01,200 --> 00:02:02,740 I'm good at making things all about me. 56 00:02:02,740 --> 00:02:04,450 Yes, I have picked up on that. 57 00:02:04,450 --> 00:02:06,910 Sorry, there's nothing I can do about it. 58 00:02:06,910 --> 00:02:09,580 I understand. You're just a cog in the machine. 59 00:02:09,580 --> 00:02:11,250 In fact, why am I talking to you? 60 00:02:11,250 --> 00:02:13,000 Feel free to stop. 61 00:02:17,470 --> 00:02:18,930 I thought you'd be at work. 62 00:02:18,930 --> 00:02:20,970 I work nights this week. 63 00:02:20,970 --> 00:02:23,140 Oh, I didn't realize the Laundromat was open late. 64 00:02:23,140 --> 00:02:24,890 I did that. 65 00:02:24,890 --> 00:02:26,850 People work during the day, it seemed like an untapped market. 66 00:02:26,850 --> 00:02:28,640 Smart. You know, 67 00:02:28,640 --> 00:02:30,440 if you want to advertise your new hours, 68 00:02:30,440 --> 00:02:32,770 you could take out an ad in the church bulletin. 69 00:02:32,770 --> 00:02:34,480 That ain't a bad idea. 70 00:02:34,480 --> 00:02:37,070 Maybe I'm where you get it from. 71 00:02:37,070 --> 00:02:40,280 Oh! It could say something like, 72 00:02:40,280 --> 00:02:42,450 "Jesus washes away your sins, 73 00:02:42,450 --> 00:02:43,990 and we'll wash away your stains." 74 00:02:43,990 --> 00:02:46,410 (chuckles): Wow! You are really good at this. 75 00:02:46,410 --> 00:02:48,200 (laughs) 76 00:02:49,160 --> 00:02:50,500 SHELDON: And do you 77 00:02:50,500 --> 00:02:51,710 really want to be the president 78 00:02:51,710 --> 00:02:53,330 of a university that is responsible 79 00:02:53,330 --> 00:02:54,790 for the dumbing down 80 00:02:54,790 --> 00:02:55,880 of scientific discourse on this campus? 81 00:02:55,880 --> 00:02:57,960 I totally agree with you. 82 00:02:57,960 --> 00:02:59,470 You do? 83 00:02:59,470 --> 00:03:00,680 Oh, it's an outrage. 84 00:03:00,680 --> 00:03:02,260 I came here to make this school 85 00:03:02,260 --> 00:03:04,140 the Harvard of East Texas. 86 00:03:04,140 --> 00:03:05,850 Not the... 87 00:03:05,850 --> 00:03:07,520 Wh-What's your least favorite school? 88 00:03:07,520 --> 00:03:08,890 MIT. 89 00:03:08,890 --> 00:03:11,640 Not the MIT of East Texas. 90 00:03:11,640 --> 00:03:13,150 Nice dig at MIT. 91 00:03:13,150 --> 00:03:14,860 (chuckles): Well, they deserve it. 92 00:03:14,860 --> 00:03:16,900 So, you're gonna keep the science requirements the same? 93 00:03:16,900 --> 00:03:18,990 If it were up to me, yes. 94 00:03:18,990 --> 00:03:20,570 But you're the president. 95 00:03:20,570 --> 00:03:23,030 Everyone has a boss, Sheldon. 96 00:03:23,030 --> 00:03:26,330 Now, unfortunately, I have to answer to the... 97 00:03:26,330 --> 00:03:28,080 grand chancellor. 98 00:03:28,080 --> 00:03:30,160 Oh. I've never heard of him. 99 00:03:30,160 --> 00:03:32,750 Oh, well, he definitely exists. 100 00:03:32,750 --> 00:03:34,330 Perhaps I should speak with him. 101 00:03:34,330 --> 00:03:37,630 I appreciate that, but this is my fight-- 102 00:03:37,630 --> 00:03:39,760 win or lose-- and I'll probably lose, 103 00:03:39,760 --> 00:03:43,050 but I am gonna go down swinging, I promise you that. 104 00:03:44,340 --> 00:03:45,350 Can I help? 105 00:03:45,350 --> 00:03:46,600 Absolutely. 106 00:03:46,600 --> 00:03:48,220 I need you to put together 107 00:03:48,220 --> 00:03:50,100 a report backing up our position. 108 00:03:50,100 --> 00:03:51,890 Charts, graphs-- the whole shebang. 109 00:03:51,890 --> 00:03:53,310 Hmm. 110 00:03:53,310 --> 00:03:54,770 Charts and graphs of what? 111 00:03:54,770 --> 00:03:56,110 (stammers) 112 00:03:56,110 --> 00:03:57,860 Am I helping you or are you helping me? 113 00:03:57,860 --> 00:03:58,940 Uh, of course. 114 00:03:58,940 --> 00:04:00,030 I'll figure it out. 115 00:04:00,030 --> 00:04:01,190 I know you will. 116 00:04:01,190 --> 00:04:02,360 Okay, now, 117 00:04:02,360 --> 00:04:03,740 get out of here. 118 00:04:03,740 --> 00:04:04,860 You have a lot of work to do. 119 00:04:04,860 --> 00:04:06,240 Yes, ma'am. 120 00:04:07,870 --> 00:04:09,410 (sighs) (door opens) 121 00:04:09,410 --> 00:04:11,080 (door closes) 122 00:04:11,080 --> 00:04:12,540 Kid makes me thirsty. 123 00:04:15,790 --> 00:04:17,420 (coughing) 124 00:04:21,420 --> 00:04:25,130 Maybe we take a little break and let this one dry out. 125 00:04:25,130 --> 00:04:27,220 You don't have to ask me twice. 126 00:04:27,220 --> 00:04:29,010 (coughing) 127 00:04:29,970 --> 00:04:31,430 Do you ever think about quitting? 128 00:04:31,430 --> 00:04:32,560 This job? Yeah. 129 00:04:32,560 --> 00:04:33,770 Since when did we start 130 00:04:33,770 --> 00:04:36,600 advertising gambling rooms? 131 00:04:36,600 --> 00:04:38,480 What? It's a Laundromat. 132 00:04:38,480 --> 00:04:42,940 Yeah, and the massage parlor off the freeway is for stiff necks. 133 00:04:42,940 --> 00:04:45,950 (scoffs) Well, that is a legitimate business. 134 00:04:45,950 --> 00:04:48,410 My mother owns it, my son works there. 135 00:04:48,410 --> 00:04:49,740 If you say so. 136 00:04:49,740 --> 00:04:51,450 I do say so. 137 00:04:51,450 --> 00:04:52,450 Fine. 138 00:04:52,450 --> 00:04:54,250 It's true. 139 00:04:54,250 --> 00:04:55,620 I'd say, "Want to bet," 140 00:04:55,620 --> 00:04:57,330 but I lost 40 bucks last night 141 00:04:57,330 --> 00:05:00,000 at your mom's "legitimate business." 142 00:05:01,000 --> 00:05:03,300 Are you running a gambling room in the back of the Laundromat? 143 00:05:03,300 --> 00:05:05,430 What? No. 144 00:05:05,430 --> 00:05:07,510 Peg says she was there last night. 145 00:05:07,510 --> 00:05:09,890 Oh, "gambling room." 146 00:05:09,890 --> 00:05:10,970 Yeah. 147 00:05:16,080 --> 00:05:17,710 What are you thinking? 148 00:05:17,710 --> 00:05:19,710 You know gambling is illegal. 149 00:05:19,710 --> 00:05:22,290 Why do you care how people spend their money? 150 00:05:22,290 --> 00:05:25,050 Gambling destroys lives. 151 00:05:25,050 --> 00:05:26,800 That's what you say about booze. 152 00:05:26,800 --> 00:05:28,920 I think it's an excellent pairing. 153 00:05:28,920 --> 00:05:32,430 Wait, does Georgie know about all of this? 154 00:05:33,430 --> 00:05:36,060 Um... Oh, my Lord. 155 00:05:36,060 --> 00:05:37,890 It's okay, I'm looking after for him. 156 00:05:37,890 --> 00:05:39,600 What if the police show up? 157 00:05:39,600 --> 00:05:41,400 Don't you worry about them. 158 00:05:41,400 --> 00:05:42,770 We got an understanding. 159 00:05:42,770 --> 00:05:43,810 What does that mean? 160 00:05:43,810 --> 00:05:44,940 I'd explain it to you, 161 00:05:44,940 --> 00:05:46,230 but you wouldn't understand. 162 00:05:46,230 --> 00:05:48,240 You are unbelievable. 163 00:05:48,240 --> 00:05:50,490 It is bad enough for you to do all this stuff, 164 00:05:50,490 --> 00:05:53,450 but then to drag Georgie down into your den of sin. 165 00:05:53,450 --> 00:05:56,410 Oh, please, it's not a den of sin. 166 00:05:56,410 --> 00:05:58,080 Although that is a great name. 167 00:05:59,120 --> 00:06:00,920 Den of Sin. 168 00:06:00,920 --> 00:06:02,790 That would get some butts in seats. 169 00:06:02,790 --> 00:06:04,290 (exclaims) 170 00:06:05,960 --> 00:06:08,420 The chancellor said no? Did he even look at my report? 171 00:06:08,420 --> 00:06:12,340 He did, he was impressed, but it didn't change his mind. 172 00:06:12,340 --> 00:06:14,350 After all our hard work. 173 00:06:14,350 --> 00:06:16,430 I know. Bummer. 174 00:06:16,430 --> 00:06:18,310 But hey, we gave it our best shot, 175 00:06:18,310 --> 00:06:20,100 so time to move on, right? 176 00:06:20,100 --> 00:06:21,600 Absolutely not. 177 00:06:21,600 --> 00:06:24,610 Are you sure? 'Cause it feels like time to me. 178 00:06:24,610 --> 00:06:26,070 We have to keep fighting. 179 00:06:26,070 --> 00:06:27,610 If Antonie van Leeuwenhoek had given up, 180 00:06:27,610 --> 00:06:28,820 where would we be? 181 00:06:29,820 --> 00:06:30,950 Where would we be? 182 00:06:30,950 --> 00:06:32,450 In a world without microscopes. 183 00:06:32,450 --> 00:06:34,660 Because that guy invented them? 184 00:06:34,660 --> 00:06:36,990 Boy, did he. At least the first modern microscope. 185 00:06:36,990 --> 00:06:38,620 He's known as the father of microbiology. 186 00:06:38,620 --> 00:06:40,040 I have a good book on him I could loan you. 187 00:06:40,040 --> 00:06:41,410 Anyway, we can't give up. 188 00:06:41,410 --> 00:06:43,170 Hey, you are preaching to the choir, 189 00:06:43,170 --> 00:06:45,500 but... (scoffs) I mean, what can we do? 190 00:06:45,500 --> 00:06:47,170 I could write to some science luminaries, 191 00:06:47,170 --> 00:06:48,460 try get them on our side. 192 00:06:48,460 --> 00:06:49,960 Stephen Hawking, Carl Sagan. 193 00:06:49,960 --> 00:06:51,840 Not Antonie van Leeuwenhoek. He's dead. 194 00:06:51,840 --> 00:06:53,590 All right, but just on the off chance 195 00:06:53,590 --> 00:06:56,300 that they're too busy to reply, 196 00:06:56,300 --> 00:06:58,560 I think that you should get out there on campus, 197 00:06:58,560 --> 00:07:00,680 talk to students, change their minds. 198 00:07:00,680 --> 00:07:03,310 One-on-one? That could take months. 199 00:07:03,310 --> 00:07:04,650 Great. 200 00:07:04,650 --> 00:07:06,480 ALEX TREBEK: Animated films. 201 00:07:06,480 --> 00:07:08,150 Frog anatomy. 202 00:07:08,150 --> 00:07:11,320 The Bible. Why are you watching Jeopardy? 203 00:07:11,320 --> 00:07:13,990 Sheldon's not the only one who likes to learn stuff. 204 00:07:13,990 --> 00:07:15,660 You don't know where the remote is. 205 00:07:15,660 --> 00:07:17,660 It's right here. 206 00:07:17,660 --> 00:07:18,950 It's just out of batteries. 207 00:07:18,950 --> 00:07:20,410 Want me to get some? 208 00:07:20,410 --> 00:07:22,370 Hurry, I hate this show. (door opens, closes) 209 00:07:23,790 --> 00:07:25,000 Is Georgie here? 210 00:07:25,000 --> 00:07:26,830 No, I think he's still at work. 211 00:07:26,830 --> 00:07:30,090 Do you know that that Laundromat is just a front for gambling? 212 00:07:30,090 --> 00:07:31,090 MISSY: Cool. 213 00:07:31,090 --> 00:07:32,670 Missy Cooper, 214 00:07:32,670 --> 00:07:34,590 that was not for your ears. Go to your room. 215 00:07:36,010 --> 00:07:37,180 So, what's this all about? 216 00:07:38,180 --> 00:07:40,430 My mother is running a gambling room 217 00:07:40,430 --> 00:07:41,970 out of the back of the Laundromat, 218 00:07:41,970 --> 00:07:44,020 and she has Georgie helping her. 219 00:07:44,020 --> 00:07:45,900 They never invited me. 220 00:07:45,900 --> 00:07:47,190 George. 221 00:07:47,190 --> 00:07:48,650 We have to get him out of there. 222 00:07:48,650 --> 00:07:50,570 Mary, we told him not to drop out of school, 223 00:07:50,570 --> 00:07:52,110 he dropped out of school. 224 00:07:52,110 --> 00:07:54,650 Told him he couldn't have girls in the garage, 225 00:07:54,650 --> 00:07:56,360 he has girls in the garage. 226 00:07:56,360 --> 00:07:58,120 He does? MISSY: So many. 227 00:07:58,120 --> 00:07:59,200 (scoffs) Missy! 228 00:07:59,200 --> 00:08:00,700 I'm in my room. 229 00:08:00,700 --> 00:08:01,740 Well, close the door. 230 00:08:02,750 --> 00:08:04,750 (door creaks slowly) 231 00:08:04,750 --> 00:08:06,040 All the way. 232 00:08:06,040 --> 00:08:07,250 (door closes) 233 00:08:07,250 --> 00:08:08,290 The point is, 234 00:08:08,290 --> 00:08:09,540 he didn't listen to us then, 235 00:08:09,540 --> 00:08:10,710 he's not gonna listen now. 236 00:08:10,710 --> 00:08:12,130 So, we do nothing? 237 00:08:12,130 --> 00:08:13,960 We let him make his own mistakes. 238 00:08:13,960 --> 00:08:16,680 That just sounds like another way of saying we do nothing. 239 00:08:16,680 --> 00:08:18,220 I'm gonna go down there. 240 00:08:18,220 --> 00:08:20,350 And that's a mistake I'm gonna let you make. 241 00:08:21,350 --> 00:08:22,890 (sighs) 242 00:08:22,890 --> 00:08:24,930 (TV continues indistinctly) 243 00:08:24,930 --> 00:08:27,100 Missy! Batteries! 244 00:08:27,100 --> 00:08:29,560 ADULT SHELDON: President Hagemeyer was counting on me 245 00:08:29,560 --> 00:08:32,400 to turn the tide of public opinion 246 00:08:32,400 --> 00:08:33,820 and ignite the outrage of my fellow students. 247 00:08:33,820 --> 00:08:36,450 Excuse me, would you like to sign my petition? 248 00:08:36,450 --> 00:08:37,740 It's about the university reducing 249 00:08:37,740 --> 00:08:39,030 our science requirements. 250 00:08:39,030 --> 00:08:40,410 (chuckles): Less science? Sweet. 251 00:08:40,410 --> 00:08:41,830 No, it's to stop the reduction 252 00:08:41,830 --> 00:08:44,330 and keep our science curriculum strong. 253 00:08:45,660 --> 00:08:47,500 Are you hurrying off to tell your friends? 254 00:08:52,590 --> 00:08:54,000 "Ben Dover." 255 00:08:54,000 --> 00:08:55,130 Thanks, Ben. 256 00:08:56,090 --> 00:08:57,420 No. Nuh-uh. 257 00:08:57,420 --> 00:08:58,970 Nope. 258 00:09:01,300 --> 00:09:03,430 Excuse me, would you like to sign my petition about keeping 259 00:09:03,430 --> 00:09:05,430 our science requirements strong? Of course. 260 00:09:05,430 --> 00:09:06,560 If you'll sign mine 261 00:09:06,560 --> 00:09:08,020 to increase funding 262 00:09:08,020 --> 00:09:09,600 for the school jazz band. 263 00:09:09,600 --> 00:09:11,310 Let's pretend we never met. 264 00:09:12,570 --> 00:09:14,110 ADULT SHELDON: I needed a new plan. 265 00:09:14,110 --> 00:09:16,110 One where I could reach the masses. 266 00:09:16,110 --> 00:09:17,990 The front page of the campus newspaper 267 00:09:17,990 --> 00:09:19,780 was my best course of action. 268 00:09:19,780 --> 00:09:22,620 I deployed every weapon in my literary arsenal. 269 00:09:22,620 --> 00:09:23,990 Humor. 270 00:09:23,990 --> 00:09:24,990 So funny. 271 00:09:24,990 --> 00:09:26,700 Gravitas. 272 00:09:26,700 --> 00:09:27,710 So moving. 273 00:09:27,710 --> 00:09:29,120 Fearmongering. 274 00:09:29,120 --> 00:09:30,170 So scary. 275 00:09:30,170 --> 00:09:32,040 And last but not least, 276 00:09:32,040 --> 00:09:33,750 heartfelt emotion. 277 00:09:33,750 --> 00:09:36,170 Eh, not where I shine. I'll end on fear. 278 00:09:38,300 --> 00:09:39,840 (music playing faintly on radio) 279 00:09:39,840 --> 00:09:42,090 (quiet chatter) 280 00:09:42,970 --> 00:09:45,720 Excuse me, if I had an exposé 281 00:09:45,720 --> 00:09:48,060 that's going to rip the lid off this university's leadership 282 00:09:48,060 --> 00:09:50,140 and shine a light on its rotten core, 283 00:09:50,140 --> 00:09:51,150 who would I turn that in to? 284 00:09:51,150 --> 00:09:52,350 You can give it to me. 285 00:09:52,350 --> 00:09:54,150 I'd feel more comfortable giving it 286 00:09:54,150 --> 00:09:56,150 to someone who's less likely to roll it up and smoke it. 287 00:09:56,150 --> 00:09:58,740 Well, I'm the editor, so it's me or nothing. 288 00:09:58,740 --> 00:10:00,110 Very well. 289 00:10:00,110 --> 00:10:02,490 I'm handing you the scoop of a lifetime. 290 00:10:02,490 --> 00:10:03,990 Okay. 291 00:10:03,990 --> 00:10:06,700 As your people say, I think you'll dig it. 292 00:10:09,830 --> 00:10:11,170 Georgie. 293 00:10:11,170 --> 00:10:12,880 Hey, what are you doing here? 294 00:10:13,880 --> 00:10:16,340 I know about the room in the back. 295 00:10:16,340 --> 00:10:19,510 Do you know whether or not I know? 296 00:10:19,510 --> 00:10:20,550 Yes. 297 00:10:20,550 --> 00:10:21,550 Okay, that's gonna 298 00:10:21,550 --> 00:10:22,550 save us a lot of time. 299 00:10:22,550 --> 00:10:23,840 It is not okay. 300 00:10:23,840 --> 00:10:25,350 You are quitting right now. 301 00:10:25,350 --> 00:10:26,720 Why would I do that? 302 00:10:26,720 --> 00:10:30,180 Because I am your mother, and it is wrong. 303 00:10:30,180 --> 00:10:32,810 Well, I'm working for your mother, and she says it's okay. 304 00:10:33,850 --> 00:10:35,480 And I answer to a higher power, 305 00:10:35,480 --> 00:10:37,520 and He says it's also wrong, so I win, let's go. 306 00:10:37,520 --> 00:10:39,610 Mom, please don't make a big deal out of this. 307 00:10:39,610 --> 00:10:42,110 Oh, so there is an illegal gambling room 308 00:10:42,110 --> 00:10:43,860 in the back, and it's no big deal? 309 00:10:43,860 --> 00:10:45,200 There's a gambling room back there? 310 00:10:45,200 --> 00:10:46,990 And there is a church two blocks down, 311 00:10:46,990 --> 00:10:48,660 so maybe try that. 312 00:10:48,660 --> 00:10:50,540 Just go around to the alley. The password is "dryer sheet." 313 00:10:51,540 --> 00:10:53,710 This is not a joke. 314 00:10:53,710 --> 00:10:55,250 I'm worried about your soul. 315 00:10:55,250 --> 00:10:57,380 I'm not gambling. No one's getting hurt. 316 00:10:57,380 --> 00:11:01,130 Georgie, I know you think that, but this does hurt people. 317 00:11:01,130 --> 00:11:03,130 It's not my business what people do with their money. 318 00:11:03,130 --> 00:11:05,050 And it ain't your business, either, so butt out. 319 00:11:08,720 --> 00:11:10,560 ADULT SHELDON: The next day, 320 00:11:10,560 --> 00:11:13,190 I got to campus early to get a copy of my article, 321 00:11:13,190 --> 00:11:14,940 hot off the presses. 322 00:11:14,940 --> 00:11:17,230 Normally, I don't like getting newspaper ink 323 00:11:17,230 --> 00:11:19,400 on my hands, but this was worth it. 324 00:11:20,730 --> 00:11:22,900 Plus, I had Wet-Naps. 325 00:11:24,740 --> 00:11:26,120 Where's my exposé? 326 00:11:26,120 --> 00:11:28,620 I didn't run it. What? Why? 327 00:11:28,620 --> 00:11:30,580 You're blaming this whole thing on a grand chancellor. 328 00:11:30,580 --> 00:11:32,200 There's no such person. 329 00:11:32,200 --> 00:11:34,620 Of course there is. He's President Hagemeyer's boss. 330 00:11:34,620 --> 00:11:36,750 She doesn't have a boss. She's the president. 331 00:11:36,750 --> 00:11:38,340 Yes, she does, and we've been trying to fight him, 332 00:11:38,340 --> 00:11:39,920 but he won't budge. 333 00:11:39,920 --> 00:11:42,590 The grand chancellor? 334 00:11:42,590 --> 00:11:44,630 Well, when you say it like that it sounds made-up. 335 00:11:45,970 --> 00:11:46,970 How would you say it? 336 00:11:46,970 --> 00:11:48,300 The grand chancellor. 337 00:11:49,720 --> 00:11:51,060 I've been had. 338 00:11:57,350 --> 00:11:59,440 Mm-hmm. Oh. 339 00:11:59,440 --> 00:12:00,940 Not now, I'm on the phone. 340 00:12:00,940 --> 00:12:02,940 Oh, are you talking to the grand chancellor? 341 00:12:02,940 --> 00:12:05,150 Who I know doesn't exist, just like your integrity. 342 00:12:05,150 --> 00:12:06,360 Uh, I'll-I'll call you back. 343 00:12:06,360 --> 00:12:07,740 Don't believe her! 344 00:12:07,740 --> 00:12:09,780 You can't just barge into my office. 345 00:12:09,780 --> 00:12:11,290 And you can't just lie to my face. 346 00:12:11,290 --> 00:12:12,540 I can and I did. 347 00:12:12,540 --> 00:12:13,660 Well, I'm going to start 348 00:12:13,660 --> 00:12:15,410 calling you President Hage-liar, 349 00:12:15,410 --> 00:12:16,750 and I think it'll to catch on 350 00:12:16,750 --> 00:12:18,500 because it's both true and clever. 351 00:12:18,500 --> 00:12:20,790 Look, I know you're upset, but you left me no choice. 352 00:12:20,790 --> 00:12:23,210 I knew you'd be a pain in the ass about these cuts. 353 00:12:23,210 --> 00:12:24,590 Language, and also, these cuts 354 00:12:24,590 --> 00:12:26,300 are detrimental on so many levels. 355 00:12:26,300 --> 00:12:27,590 Not to the university. 356 00:12:27,590 --> 00:12:29,260 Look... (sighs) 357 00:12:29,260 --> 00:12:31,810 My job means sometimes making very hard decisions. 358 00:12:31,810 --> 00:12:33,270 Now, I'm sorry that I lied to you, 359 00:12:33,270 --> 00:12:35,980 and-and if it helps, I didn't enjoy it. 360 00:12:35,980 --> 00:12:37,980 Yes, you did. (chuckles): Yes, I did. 361 00:12:37,980 --> 00:12:40,060 I mean, grand chancellor? (snorts) 362 00:12:40,060 --> 00:12:41,320 I really pulled that one out of my... 363 00:12:41,320 --> 00:12:43,650 Ah-ah. ...bottom. 364 00:12:43,650 --> 00:12:45,900 Well, I can lie about things, too. 365 00:12:46,900 --> 00:12:48,740 Did I knock your papers on the floor? 366 00:12:50,740 --> 00:12:52,080 No, I didn't. 367 00:12:52,080 --> 00:12:53,990 Did I move your stapler? 368 00:12:53,990 --> 00:12:55,080 No, I didn't. 369 00:12:55,080 --> 00:12:58,080 Ooh, did I break your pencil? 370 00:12:59,710 --> 00:13:01,040 (grunts) 371 00:13:01,040 --> 00:13:02,540 Yes, I did. 372 00:13:04,840 --> 00:13:05,840 Hey, Mary. 373 00:13:05,840 --> 00:13:07,220 Quick question. 374 00:13:07,220 --> 00:13:09,050 Why can I see you through my newsletter? 375 00:13:09,050 --> 00:13:12,350 Oh, sorry, I had to remove one of the ads. 376 00:13:12,350 --> 00:13:13,930 Was there anything important on the other side? 377 00:13:13,930 --> 00:13:17,020 Just Peg's recipe for her grape salad. 378 00:13:17,020 --> 00:13:19,400 With the mayonnaise and the pretzels. Barf. 379 00:13:20,770 --> 00:13:22,230 Everything okay? 380 00:13:25,610 --> 00:13:28,030 I feel like I'm a failure as a mother. 381 00:13:28,030 --> 00:13:29,450 What? 382 00:13:30,410 --> 00:13:32,200 Why? 383 00:13:34,410 --> 00:13:36,830 Georgie dropped out of school, 384 00:13:36,830 --> 00:13:39,120 and now he's working in a gambling room. 385 00:13:40,460 --> 00:13:42,960 I tried so hard to keep him on the right path, 386 00:13:42,960 --> 00:13:45,750 and now I feel like I'm just pushing him away. 387 00:13:45,750 --> 00:13:47,920 Hey, teenagers rebel. 388 00:13:47,920 --> 00:13:49,470 When I was a kid 389 00:13:49,470 --> 00:13:51,640 in El Paso, we used to cross the border 390 00:13:51,640 --> 00:13:53,430 to drink beer and dance the night away. 391 00:13:53,430 --> 00:13:55,720 I thought your father was a pastor. 392 00:13:55,720 --> 00:13:58,100 He was. It didn't stop me. 393 00:13:58,100 --> 00:14:00,270 It's hard to imagine. 394 00:14:00,270 --> 00:14:01,940 I'm sure my father felt the same way 395 00:14:01,940 --> 00:14:03,980 when he found his little jefe doing the hustle 396 00:14:03,980 --> 00:14:05,230 en la discoteca. 397 00:14:05,230 --> 00:14:06,860 (both chuckle) 398 00:14:06,860 --> 00:14:10,400 Just picture this, but with a big ol' '70s perm. 399 00:14:10,400 --> 00:14:11,780 I looked like a Chia Pet. 400 00:14:11,780 --> 00:14:12,950 ♪ Do the hustle. ♪ 401 00:14:14,870 --> 00:14:16,120 (music playing faintly on radio) 402 00:14:16,120 --> 00:14:17,790 I still can't believe she lied to me. 403 00:14:17,790 --> 00:14:21,420 Look, here's something you should know about life: 404 00:14:21,420 --> 00:14:22,790 People lie. 405 00:14:22,790 --> 00:14:23,960 Everybody? 406 00:14:23,960 --> 00:14:25,090 Pretty much. 407 00:14:25,090 --> 00:14:26,590 Well, I don't like it. 408 00:14:26,590 --> 00:14:29,010 Mm. It's not always a bad thing. 409 00:14:29,010 --> 00:14:31,090 When is lying good? 410 00:14:31,090 --> 00:14:34,930 Like when you're trying to spare someone's feelings. 411 00:14:34,930 --> 00:14:37,430 Oh, I'd rather everybody just be honest. 412 00:14:37,430 --> 00:14:38,720 Hmm. 413 00:14:38,720 --> 00:14:40,430 Fine. 414 00:14:40,430 --> 00:14:42,520 The last thing I wanted to do today was pick you up. 415 00:14:42,520 --> 00:14:44,270 You said you were happy to do it. 416 00:14:44,270 --> 00:14:45,770 See? Lies. 417 00:14:45,770 --> 00:14:47,770 Not the worst. 418 00:14:48,780 --> 00:14:51,450 I think I need to stop blindly trusting everything. 419 00:14:51,450 --> 00:14:53,820 Hmm. Probably not a bad idea. 420 00:14:53,820 --> 00:14:54,950 Thanks. 421 00:14:54,950 --> 00:14:56,660 I wish I could believe you. 422 00:14:59,450 --> 00:15:01,460 ADULT SHELDON: Once I was on the lookout for liars, 423 00:15:01,460 --> 00:15:03,870 I saw them everywhere. ...absolutely necessary. 424 00:15:03,870 --> 00:15:06,500 You're not a captain. You're just an actor. 425 00:15:06,500 --> 00:15:08,170 Which is another word for liar. 426 00:15:08,170 --> 00:15:10,510 And nothing... 427 00:15:10,510 --> 00:15:12,840 is more important than my ship. 428 00:15:12,840 --> 00:15:15,800 He's so darn good at it, though. 429 00:15:18,060 --> 00:15:20,060 (cereal crackling) 430 00:15:21,020 --> 00:15:22,940 I hear no snap, 431 00:15:22,940 --> 00:15:26,020 I hear no pop, only crackle. 432 00:15:30,980 --> 00:15:32,650 A bowl of lies. 433 00:15:32,650 --> 00:15:34,030 (indistinct chatter) 434 00:15:35,490 --> 00:15:37,530 Why are you watching wrestling? 435 00:15:37,530 --> 00:15:39,240 They beat the crap out of each other. 436 00:15:39,240 --> 00:15:40,240 It's great. 437 00:15:40,240 --> 00:15:41,660 I bet it's all fake. 438 00:15:41,660 --> 00:15:43,370 Does that look fake to you? 439 00:15:45,330 --> 00:15:48,250 Okay, it's nice to know something's real. 440 00:15:49,250 --> 00:15:50,630 Ooh, he's bleeding. 441 00:15:50,630 --> 00:15:52,380 Please watch over Missy and Sheldon 442 00:15:52,380 --> 00:15:54,680 and especially Georgie. 443 00:15:54,680 --> 00:15:57,090 And please don't let my failings as a mother 444 00:15:57,090 --> 00:15:59,640 get in the way of Your plans for their lives. 445 00:15:59,640 --> 00:16:00,760 Amen. 446 00:16:01,720 --> 00:16:03,430 (gasps) 447 00:16:03,430 --> 00:16:06,230 Hey, baby. What's wrong? 448 00:16:06,230 --> 00:16:07,900 Is it that obvious? 449 00:16:07,900 --> 00:16:11,690 Well, you are outside, where birds live. 450 00:16:11,690 --> 00:16:13,820 True. I'll make it quick. 451 00:16:13,820 --> 00:16:16,950 I'm experiencing what the Germans call weltschmerz. 452 00:16:16,950 --> 00:16:18,030 Uh-huh. 453 00:16:18,030 --> 00:16:20,450 And what do Americans call it? 454 00:16:20,450 --> 00:16:21,740 The pain of the world. 455 00:16:21,740 --> 00:16:23,700 Sounds more fun in German. 456 00:16:23,700 --> 00:16:25,210 Most things do. 457 00:16:25,210 --> 00:16:27,750 Hmm. Sit. 458 00:16:28,710 --> 00:16:31,210 Tell me why you have... What is it? 459 00:16:31,210 --> 00:16:33,960 Weltschmerz. 460 00:16:35,550 --> 00:16:37,550 It's recently come to my attention 461 00:16:37,550 --> 00:16:39,340 that everybody lies and you can't believe 462 00:16:39,340 --> 00:16:41,220 a thing that comes out of anyone's mouth. 463 00:16:41,220 --> 00:16:44,980 I don't think everybody lies. You don't lie. 464 00:16:44,980 --> 00:16:47,060 No, but perhaps to get by in the world 465 00:16:47,060 --> 00:16:48,810 it's a skill I should cultivate. 466 00:16:48,810 --> 00:16:50,310 I hope you don't. 467 00:16:50,310 --> 00:16:51,820 I love your honesty. 468 00:16:51,820 --> 00:16:54,280 I want to believe you. 469 00:16:54,280 --> 00:16:55,900 (scoffs) You should, 470 00:16:55,900 --> 00:16:58,320 because I'm your mother and I would never lie to you. 471 00:16:58,320 --> 00:16:59,990 I would never lie to you, either. 472 00:16:59,990 --> 00:17:02,240 So, I guess not everybody lies. 473 00:17:04,950 --> 00:17:06,580 I heard what you said in your prayer, 474 00:17:06,580 --> 00:17:08,620 and I don't think you're failing as a mother. 475 00:17:08,620 --> 00:17:10,540 Thank you. 476 00:17:10,540 --> 00:17:13,340 I think you're a pretty great son yourself. 477 00:17:13,340 --> 00:17:15,300 I know I'm difficult. 478 00:17:16,970 --> 00:17:19,930 There is not a single thing about you I would change. 479 00:17:19,930 --> 00:17:23,600 ADULT SHELDON: My mom promised she would never lie to me. 480 00:17:23,600 --> 00:17:25,020 And she never did. 481 00:17:25,020 --> 00:17:26,270 (whispers): I'm sorry. 482 00:17:32,940 --> 00:17:34,980 (slot machines whirring) 483 00:17:36,530 --> 00:17:37,530 Hey. 484 00:17:37,530 --> 00:17:39,200 Mom send you? 485 00:17:39,200 --> 00:17:40,610 No. 486 00:17:40,610 --> 00:17:41,870 She also doesn't know I'm here, 487 00:17:41,870 --> 00:17:43,120 so let's keep that between us. 488 00:17:43,120 --> 00:17:44,620 All right. 489 00:17:44,620 --> 00:17:46,370 Where's your meemaw? 490 00:17:46,370 --> 00:17:47,830 Not here. She leaves me in charge 491 00:17:47,830 --> 00:17:49,660 when she's gone. Is that right? 492 00:17:49,660 --> 00:17:51,880 I also handle stuff in the Laundromat. 493 00:17:51,880 --> 00:17:53,250 Well, good for you. 494 00:17:53,250 --> 00:17:56,670 So... you're okay with me working here? 495 00:17:58,170 --> 00:17:59,550 Well, since I never been here 496 00:17:59,550 --> 00:18:01,180 and we never had this conversation... 497 00:18:02,140 --> 00:18:03,390 ...sure. 498 00:18:03,390 --> 00:18:05,180 Cool. Want to give it a spin? 499 00:18:06,850 --> 00:18:08,600 These things really pay out? 500 00:18:08,600 --> 00:18:09,980 All the time. 501 00:18:11,140 --> 00:18:13,150 Not that one. We call it the homewrecker. 502 00:18:13,150 --> 00:18:14,860 Which one, then? 503 00:18:14,860 --> 00:18:16,320 That one's your buddy. 504 00:18:17,320 --> 00:18:18,530 Yeah? 505 00:18:20,320 --> 00:18:22,860 Look at me! I-I won two dollars! 506 00:18:26,370 --> 00:18:28,330 (phone rings) 507 00:18:28,330 --> 00:18:29,790 President Hagemeyer. 508 00:18:29,790 --> 00:18:31,040 (speaking device): Miss Hagemeyer, 509 00:18:31,040 --> 00:18:32,710 Stephen Hawking here. 510 00:18:33,580 --> 00:18:36,500 Oh, hello. I... 511 00:18:36,500 --> 00:18:39,090 I... Is this really Stephen Hawking? 512 00:18:39,090 --> 00:18:41,590 Does it not sound like me? 513 00:18:41,590 --> 00:18:44,470 Sorry, I have a cold. 514 00:18:44,470 --> 00:18:45,890 Oh, uh... 515 00:18:45,890 --> 00:18:48,350 That was a joke. Ha, ha, ha. 516 00:18:48,350 --> 00:18:50,600 (chuckles) Uh... 517 00:18:50,600 --> 00:18:52,310 how can I help you, sir? 518 00:18:52,310 --> 00:18:54,980 I received a letter from one of your students 519 00:18:54,980 --> 00:18:58,860 about the decision to reduce science requirements. 520 00:18:59,860 --> 00:19:01,400 Very disappointing. 521 00:19:01,400 --> 00:19:03,660 Well, I would never want to disappoint you, 522 00:19:03,660 --> 00:19:06,030 but that-that wasn't my decision. 523 00:19:06,030 --> 00:19:08,580 Whose decision was it? 524 00:19:09,660 --> 00:19:11,910 The grand chancellor. 525 00:19:11,910 --> 00:19:14,330 That is a lie. Yeah, yeah, that's a lie. 526 00:19:14,330 --> 00:19:17,960 Has anyone ever called you President Hage-liar? 527 00:19:18,010 --> 00:19:22,560 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 36545

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