All language subtitles for Young Sheldon - 05x09 - The Yips and an Oddly Hypnotic Bohemian.CAKES.English.HI.C.updated.Addic7ed.com

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,179 --> 00:00:03,156 Previously on Young Sheldon... 2 00:00:03,159 --> 00:00:05,570 Billy! Mr. Cooper is here. 3 00:00:07,094 --> 00:00:08,571 How you doing? 4 00:00:08,573 --> 00:00:11,098 Do not look under that rock. 5 00:00:12,229 --> 00:00:14,403 But I appreciate you asking. 6 00:00:14,405 --> 00:00:16,144 Hey, you got rejected. 7 00:00:16,146 --> 00:00:18,103 But was it the end of the world? 8 00:00:18,105 --> 00:00:19,257 No. 9 00:00:19,260 --> 00:00:21,541 And that is extremely valuable information. 10 00:00:21,543 --> 00:00:22,977 And honestly... 11 00:00:22,979 --> 00:00:25,197 you dodged a bullet with Missy. 12 00:00:25,199 --> 00:00:27,025 The girl is mean. 13 00:00:27,027 --> 00:00:28,985 Thanks. 14 00:00:34,842 --> 00:00:36,407 [indistinct chatter, clamoring] 15 00:00:36,410 --> 00:00:37,931 WOMAN: Come on, Missy! 16 00:00:37,934 --> 00:00:39,368 - Hey. - Hey! 17 00:00:39,371 --> 00:00:42,278 Came to see your man be a leader of little people, huh? 18 00:00:42,281 --> 00:00:44,738 I came to see my granddaughter pitch. 19 00:00:44,740 --> 00:00:46,387 Yeah, under my leadership. 20 00:00:46,390 --> 00:00:48,307 All right, Cooper, let's see what you got. 21 00:00:48,309 --> 00:00:49,571 Come on, girl! 22 00:00:52,443 --> 00:00:53,964 Come on, shake it off! 23 00:00:53,966 --> 00:00:55,533 You got this. 24 00:00:59,624 --> 00:01:01,711 What the hell was that? 25 00:01:01,713 --> 00:01:03,541 Well, there's some leadership. 26 00:01:06,675 --> 00:01:08,457 DALE: Time! 27 00:01:08,459 --> 00:01:09,806 Cooper! 28 00:01:09,808 --> 00:01:10,997 Time! 29 00:01:11,000 --> 00:01:14,082 Cooper, what is the problem? 30 00:01:14,085 --> 00:01:16,074 The ball isn't going where it's supposed to. 31 00:01:16,076 --> 00:01:17,162 I saw that. 32 00:01:17,164 --> 00:01:18,614 What am I doing wrong? 33 00:01:18,617 --> 00:01:20,575 Just a little case of the yips. 34 00:01:20,578 --> 00:01:22,689 - It happens. - What's that? 35 00:01:22,691 --> 00:01:24,908 The yips... you know, it's when you're thinking 36 00:01:24,910 --> 00:01:26,432 about stuff in your head 37 00:01:26,435 --> 00:01:28,390 and something you've done a million times, 38 00:01:28,392 --> 00:01:31,609 you can't do it anymore. Even the pros get it. 39 00:01:31,612 --> 00:01:33,265 How do I get rid of it? 40 00:01:33,267 --> 00:01:35,615 Uh, just don't think about it. 41 00:01:35,617 --> 00:01:37,314 Okay. 42 00:01:37,317 --> 00:01:39,580 [sighs] 43 00:01:42,412 --> 00:01:45,195 Don't think, just throw. 44 00:01:48,586 --> 00:01:49,933 [crowd clamoring] 45 00:01:49,935 --> 00:01:53,198 I hate the little people. 46 00:01:53,200 --> 00:01:56,114 ♪ Nobody else is stronger than I am ♪ 47 00:01:56,116 --> 00:01:58,986 ♪ Yesterday I moved a mountain ♪ 48 00:01:58,988 --> 00:02:01,317 ♪ I bet I could be your hero ♪ 49 00:02:01,320 --> 00:02:04,278 ♪ I am a mighty little man ♪ 50 00:02:04,281 --> 00:02:10,578 - Synced and corrected by VitoSilans - -- www.Addic7ed.com -- 51 00:02:14,917 --> 00:02:16,962 [engine sputtering] 52 00:02:19,008 --> 00:02:21,226 BRENDA: Damn it! 53 00:02:21,228 --> 00:02:22,531 Brenda? 54 00:02:22,533 --> 00:02:23,765 What? 55 00:02:23,768 --> 00:02:25,491 Everything okay over there? 56 00:02:25,493 --> 00:02:27,190 Oh, yeah. 57 00:02:27,906 --> 00:02:29,122 Okay. 58 00:02:29,125 --> 00:02:30,496 [engine sputtering] 59 00:02:30,498 --> 00:02:32,351 Damn it! 60 00:02:32,354 --> 00:02:34,325 Okay, give her a go. 61 00:02:34,328 --> 00:02:36,373 [engine starts] 62 00:02:37,332 --> 00:02:38,942 You're a lifesaver. 63 00:02:39,871 --> 00:02:41,696 It's a gift. 64 00:02:41,699 --> 00:02:44,422 Can I offer you a beer and some thank-you cobbler? 65 00:02:44,425 --> 00:02:46,406 Weren't you on your way somewhere? 66 00:02:46,409 --> 00:02:47,648 Weight Watchers. 67 00:02:47,651 --> 00:02:49,731 [laughs] 68 00:02:49,734 --> 00:02:51,081 What do you say? 69 00:02:51,083 --> 00:02:53,173 Eh, sure. 70 00:02:54,525 --> 00:02:56,786 Do guys ever go to those Weight Watchers meetings? 71 00:02:56,789 --> 00:02:59,350 Yeah, but they're all fat. 72 00:02:59,353 --> 00:03:00,929 [laughs] 73 00:03:00,932 --> 00:03:03,789 ADULT SHELDON: Of all the tests one takes in school, 74 00:03:03,792 --> 00:03:06,164 my favorite was the midterm. 75 00:03:06,167 --> 00:03:07,688 Finals weren't bad, 76 00:03:07,691 --> 00:03:09,903 but they also meant summer was approaching. 77 00:03:09,906 --> 00:03:12,581 I don't believe in religion, but sunshine, 78 00:03:12,583 --> 00:03:14,046 picnics and pool parties 79 00:03:14,049 --> 00:03:15,787 are proof hell exists. 80 00:03:15,790 --> 00:03:17,618 [nearby thud] 81 00:03:20,893 --> 00:03:23,026 [door thuds] 82 00:03:26,050 --> 00:03:27,397 Aah! 83 00:03:27,400 --> 00:03:28,944 Why are you trying to hit me? 84 00:03:28,947 --> 00:03:30,875 I'm trying to hit the target. 85 00:03:30,878 --> 00:03:32,166 It's over there. 86 00:03:32,168 --> 00:03:34,109 I know, dingus. 87 00:03:36,546 --> 00:03:38,285 I thought you were good at this. 88 00:03:38,288 --> 00:03:39,347 I was. 89 00:03:39,349 --> 00:03:41,915 Coach Dale says I have the yips. 90 00:03:41,917 --> 00:03:43,699 It's not contagious, is it? 91 00:03:43,701 --> 00:03:45,875 No, it happens in sports. 92 00:03:45,877 --> 00:03:48,313 Suddenly you can't do a thing that used to be easy. 93 00:03:48,315 --> 00:03:50,097 It doesn't sound real. 94 00:03:50,099 --> 00:03:51,757 Then why can't I pitch anymore? 95 00:03:51,760 --> 00:03:53,757 Ooh, perhaps it's the onset of puberty 96 00:03:53,760 --> 00:03:56,022 and the hysterical mood swings that go with it. 97 00:03:56,025 --> 00:03:57,756 Dingus, house. 98 00:03:57,759 --> 00:03:59,761 You're only proving my point. 99 00:04:03,939 --> 00:04:05,852 What, Billy won an award? 100 00:04:05,854 --> 00:04:07,992 Participation. 101 00:04:07,995 --> 00:04:09,377 Big whoop. 102 00:04:09,379 --> 00:04:10,593 I guess it's something. 103 00:04:10,596 --> 00:04:12,543 Well, he ain't the sharpest pencil in the box, 104 00:04:12,546 --> 00:04:14,289 but he's the sweetest kid I know. 105 00:04:14,292 --> 00:04:16,818 Well, Sheldon is the sharpest pencil. 106 00:04:16,821 --> 00:04:18,453 Sometimes I'd just like 107 00:04:18,456 --> 00:04:20,364 to shove his head in that box. 108 00:04:20,367 --> 00:04:22,695 - [chuckles] - Where's your trash? 109 00:04:22,697 --> 00:04:24,000 Everywhere. 110 00:04:24,002 --> 00:04:26,657 - But the basket's under the sink. - Mm. 111 00:04:27,745 --> 00:04:30,093 [exhales] 112 00:04:30,095 --> 00:04:32,008 You know your faucet's leaking? 113 00:04:32,010 --> 00:04:34,489 Yep, this whole place is falling apart. 114 00:04:34,491 --> 00:04:35,593 Well... 115 00:04:35,596 --> 00:04:37,750 I'll come over another time, and take care of it.Oh. 116 00:04:37,753 --> 00:04:39,929 You know, you don't have to do that. 117 00:04:39,931 --> 00:04:42,323 One more? 118 00:04:42,325 --> 00:04:44,673 I should get going. 119 00:04:44,675 --> 00:04:46,416 Well, thanks again. 120 00:04:48,853 --> 00:04:51,750 Want to buy a house? 121 00:04:51,753 --> 00:04:53,116 [door opens] 122 00:04:53,118 --> 00:04:54,523 Hey, where you been? 123 00:04:54,526 --> 00:04:56,875 Ah, Brenda was having car trouble. 124 00:04:56,878 --> 00:04:59,051 - Just giving her hand. - That's nice. 125 00:04:59,054 --> 00:05:01,124 I'm sure it's hard being by herself. 126 00:05:01,126 --> 00:05:02,125 Yeah. 127 00:05:02,128 --> 00:05:03,890 That whole house is in need of repair. 128 00:05:03,893 --> 00:05:05,820 I hope you offered to help her out. 129 00:05:05,823 --> 00:05:07,779 I did... she said no. 130 00:05:07,782 --> 00:05:10,132 Well, that's just her being proud. 131 00:05:10,135 --> 00:05:12,268 Of course she wants your help. 132 00:05:13,443 --> 00:05:16,046 [stammers] I guess some time I'll pop over. 133 00:05:16,049 --> 00:05:17,657 Good. 134 00:05:17,660 --> 00:05:19,812 And when you go, hitch up your pants. 135 00:05:19,815 --> 00:05:22,362 There's a lot going on when you squat. 136 00:05:22,365 --> 00:05:23,757 LINKLETTER: All right. 137 00:05:23,760 --> 00:05:25,142 You have 45 minutes to complete 138 00:05:25,145 --> 00:05:27,411 the test, eyes on your own paper and... 139 00:05:27,414 --> 00:05:30,415 Yes, Sheldon, if you finish early, you can take it again. 140 00:05:30,417 --> 00:05:31,807 And... 141 00:05:31,809 --> 00:05:33,113 begin! 142 00:05:33,115 --> 00:05:34,332 ADULT SHELDON: And I was off. 143 00:05:34,334 --> 00:05:35,914 I flew through wave functions. 144 00:05:35,917 --> 00:05:38,160 I dominated harmonic oscillators. 145 00:05:38,163 --> 00:05:40,163 The only challenging part of this exam 146 00:05:40,165 --> 00:05:42,601 was trying to balance the desire to finish quickly 147 00:05:42,603 --> 00:05:45,519 with the urge to stop and smell my freshly sharpened pencil. 148 00:05:46,520 --> 00:05:47,693 Mmm. 149 00:05:47,695 --> 00:05:49,347 I was in the zone. 150 00:05:49,349 --> 00:05:51,087 Only one question left. 151 00:05:51,089 --> 00:05:52,473 All I needed to do 152 00:05:52,476 --> 00:05:54,308 was solve Schrodinger's equation 153 00:05:54,310 --> 00:05:56,745 in a cylindrical well by employing the zeroes 154 00:05:56,747 --> 00:05:58,880 of the Bessel function, which of course were... 155 00:06:00,477 --> 00:06:02,390 Wait, what are they? 156 00:06:02,393 --> 00:06:04,230 Come on, you know this. 157 00:06:04,233 --> 00:06:06,235 You've done it a million times. 158 00:06:07,541 --> 00:06:09,617 Oh, dear. 159 00:06:17,594 --> 00:06:20,116 All right, Sheldon, time to turn in your test. 160 00:06:20,118 --> 00:06:21,335 I'm not done yet. 161 00:06:21,337 --> 00:06:23,536 [sighs] I know you like to add 162 00:06:23,539 --> 00:06:25,557 your own "better questions" at the end, 163 00:06:25,559 --> 00:06:27,497 but for the last time, I don't count them. 164 00:06:27,500 --> 00:06:29,996 I just need a few more minutes on this problem. 165 00:06:29,998 --> 00:06:31,257 That's an easy one. 166 00:06:31,260 --> 00:06:33,086 Just apply the zeroes of the Bessel function. 167 00:06:33,088 --> 00:06:34,740 I know what I have to do. 168 00:06:34,742 --> 00:06:36,093 Is this is a tantrum? 169 00:06:36,096 --> 00:06:38,168 I've heard children your age like to throw them. 170 00:06:38,171 --> 00:06:39,919 I can't remember what the zeroes 171 00:06:39,921 --> 00:06:41,747 of the Bessel function are. 172 00:06:41,749 --> 00:06:42,922 You didn't memorize them? 173 00:06:42,924 --> 00:06:45,141 Of course I did... October 7, 1988. 174 00:06:45,143 --> 00:06:46,752 I had just had a bowl of Teddy Grahams. 175 00:06:46,754 --> 00:06:49,102 Then what's the problem? 176 00:06:49,104 --> 00:06:51,757 I'm blanking, but I'll get it. 177 00:06:51,759 --> 00:06:52,888 Sorry, son, class is over. 178 00:06:52,890 --> 00:06:54,054 No, I can do this. 179 00:06:54,057 --> 00:06:56,325 It's just one question. You'll still pass. 180 00:06:56,328 --> 00:06:58,822 Sheldon Cooper doesn't "just pass." 181 00:06:58,825 --> 00:07:00,259 I have an idea. 182 00:07:00,262 --> 00:07:01,653 Let me see the test. 183 00:07:01,656 --> 00:07:03,290 Thank you. 184 00:07:03,292 --> 00:07:05,510 Sheldon Cooper isn't always 185 00:07:05,512 --> 00:07:07,351 - that gullible. - He was today. 186 00:07:12,137 --> 00:07:15,257 All right, almost there. 187 00:07:15,260 --> 00:07:17,478 Hand me a screwdriver. 188 00:07:17,480 --> 00:07:19,093 Don't stick this in an outlet. 189 00:07:19,096 --> 00:07:21,000 It really tingles. 190 00:07:21,003 --> 00:07:23,657 - We had an incident. - Yeah. 191 00:07:23,660 --> 00:07:25,734 You know what? 192 00:07:25,737 --> 00:07:26,997 Why don't you fix it? 193 00:07:27,000 --> 00:07:28,749 - BOTH: Really? - Yeah, you see 194 00:07:28,752 --> 00:07:29,751 that little screw there? 195 00:07:29,754 --> 00:07:31,672 Just go ahead and tighten her up. 196 00:07:31,675 --> 00:07:33,762 - Like this? - Yep. 197 00:07:33,765 --> 00:07:35,773 BILLY: What now? 198 00:07:35,776 --> 00:07:37,803 Uh, run outside and turn the water back on. 199 00:07:37,805 --> 00:07:40,348 Here, I'm not allowed to run with this. 200 00:07:40,351 --> 00:07:43,027 We've had a lot of incidents. 201 00:07:44,594 --> 00:07:46,638 - Who knew you were so handy? - Yeah. 202 00:07:46,640 --> 00:07:48,703 There's just things guys need to be good at. 203 00:07:48,706 --> 00:07:51,359 What else you good at? 204 00:07:51,362 --> 00:07:53,232 [water sputters] 205 00:07:53,235 --> 00:07:54,888 I should go. 206 00:07:58,695 --> 00:08:00,129 [door closes] 207 00:08:00,131 --> 00:08:02,044 Hey, pretty lady. 208 00:08:02,046 --> 00:08:04,351 - Are you drinking already? - [laughs] No! 209 00:08:04,353 --> 00:08:07,049 Can't a guy give his wife a compliment? 210 00:08:07,051 --> 00:08:08,703 Do I have to smell your breath? 211 00:08:08,705 --> 00:08:10,313 How about a kiss instead? 212 00:08:10,315 --> 00:08:11,706 What is with you? 213 00:08:11,708 --> 00:08:13,229 Well, I don't know. 214 00:08:13,231 --> 00:08:15,362 Kids aren't home. 215 00:08:15,364 --> 00:08:17,882 Now? I'm doing laundry. 216 00:08:17,885 --> 00:08:19,320 Laundry can wait. 217 00:08:19,323 --> 00:08:20,889 So can your thing. 218 00:08:20,891 --> 00:08:22,500 I like to think of it as ourthing, 219 00:08:22,502 --> 00:08:25,590 but if you only have time for my thing, that's fine, too. 220 00:08:25,592 --> 00:08:27,505 You're being weird. 221 00:08:27,507 --> 00:08:29,289 Weird sexy? 222 00:08:29,291 --> 00:08:30,420 No. 223 00:08:30,422 --> 00:08:32,466 - Headed to the bedroom? - No! 224 00:08:32,468 --> 00:08:34,688 Just checking. 225 00:08:35,732 --> 00:08:36,862 [sighs] 226 00:08:36,864 --> 00:08:38,951 SHELDON: Missy! 227 00:08:38,953 --> 00:08:41,023 You gave me your yips. 228 00:08:41,026 --> 00:08:42,085 What? 229 00:08:42,088 --> 00:08:44,173 I froze on a test. That's never happened before. 230 00:08:44,176 --> 00:08:45,435 It's all your fault. 231 00:08:45,437 --> 00:08:46,959 I told you it's not contagious. 232 00:08:46,961 --> 00:08:48,264 You put the thought in my head. 233 00:08:48,266 --> 00:08:49,875 The power of suggestion is very real. 234 00:08:49,877 --> 00:08:51,964 Case in point: tulip mania. 235 00:08:51,966 --> 00:08:53,922 - Here we go. - Tulip mania 236 00:08:53,924 --> 00:08:55,593 was an insane desire to buy and trade 237 00:08:55,596 --> 00:08:57,230 tulip bulbs in the 1600s. 238 00:08:57,232 --> 00:08:59,014 It nearly ruined the Dutch economy. 239 00:08:59,016 --> 00:09:00,973 You would not believe the gilders they were spending. 240 00:09:00,975 --> 00:09:02,714 How can you remember this stupid information, 241 00:09:02,716 --> 00:09:04,411 but not the stuff on your test? 242 00:09:04,413 --> 00:09:05,760 You tell me, they're your yips. 243 00:09:05,762 --> 00:09:07,793 Sheldon, if I knew how to make it stop, 244 00:09:07,796 --> 00:09:08,981 I would tell you. 245 00:09:08,983 --> 00:09:10,678 You better. 246 00:09:10,681 --> 00:09:13,582 Maybe it's puberty making you all emotional. 247 00:09:13,585 --> 00:09:15,832 I checked my armpits... Smooth as balloons. 248 00:09:15,835 --> 00:09:17,513 [groans] 249 00:09:18,645 --> 00:09:21,776 - Hey. - [groans] 250 00:09:21,778 --> 00:09:23,383 What's your problem? 251 00:09:23,386 --> 00:09:24,864 I don't want to talk about it. 252 00:09:24,867 --> 00:09:26,738 - Great. - I had a mental block 253 00:09:26,740 --> 00:09:28,217 on a test and it was something that 254 00:09:28,219 --> 00:09:29,697 I absolutely know how to do. 255 00:09:29,699 --> 00:09:32,004 Oh, you know, that sort of thing happens in sports, too. 256 00:09:32,006 --> 00:09:33,353 I know. It's called the yips, 257 00:09:33,355 --> 00:09:34,484 and it's a very silly name 258 00:09:34,486 --> 00:09:35,964 for a very serious problem. 259 00:09:35,967 --> 00:09:37,793 Well, you know, the best thing to do 260 00:09:37,796 --> 00:09:40,316 is get out of your head. 261 00:09:40,318 --> 00:09:41,448 How do I do that? 262 00:09:41,450 --> 00:09:43,929 Just turn your brain off. 263 00:09:43,931 --> 00:09:45,495 It's like I'm not even your son. 264 00:09:45,497 --> 00:09:46,975 [sighs] Look. 265 00:09:46,977 --> 00:09:49,144 I know you don't respect what I do as a coach. 266 00:09:49,147 --> 00:09:50,567 Maybe you do know me. 267 00:09:50,570 --> 00:09:53,356 But this is a thing I actually know about. 268 00:09:53,359 --> 00:09:55,157 I've seen it happen to my players. 269 00:09:55,159 --> 00:09:57,072 I've seen it happen to pros in golf. 270 00:09:57,074 --> 00:09:58,552 In baseball. 271 00:09:58,554 --> 00:10:00,075 The answer is always the same. 272 00:10:00,077 --> 00:10:02,730 Stop thinking and get out of your own way. 273 00:10:02,732 --> 00:10:06,125 I don't know how to do that. 274 00:10:06,127 --> 00:10:08,954 Have you ever heard the Nike slogan "Just do it"? 275 00:10:08,956 --> 00:10:10,782 I'm familiar with the phrase "let's do it," 276 00:10:10,784 --> 00:10:12,740 uttered by Gary Gilmore, the last person 277 00:10:12,742 --> 00:10:15,440 to be executed by firing squad in America. 278 00:10:16,594 --> 00:10:19,551 Okay, well, it's a shoe slogan. 279 00:10:19,554 --> 00:10:21,585 And it's good advice. 280 00:10:21,588 --> 00:10:23,843 The answer is already in your head. 281 00:10:23,846 --> 00:10:25,579 Don't think so hard. 282 00:10:25,581 --> 00:10:27,148 Just do it. 283 00:10:28,410 --> 00:10:29,801 I'll try. 284 00:10:29,803 --> 00:10:31,921 Good man. 285 00:10:31,924 --> 00:10:34,457 Another fun footwear slogan is "I'm Buster Brown. 286 00:10:34,459 --> 00:10:36,721 I live in a shoe. That's my dog Tige. 287 00:10:36,723 --> 00:10:38,157 Look for him there, too." 288 00:10:38,159 --> 00:10:40,202 Mm, I think mine is more helpful. 289 00:10:40,204 --> 00:10:41,989 Well, mine rhymes, so... 290 00:10:44,600 --> 00:10:47,340 ADULT SHELDON: I decided to heed my father's advice. 291 00:10:47,343 --> 00:10:50,024 I wasn't sure how to turn off my brain. 292 00:10:50,027 --> 00:10:52,723 Thankfully, I lived with an expert. 293 00:10:52,726 --> 00:10:54,477 What's up? 294 00:10:54,479 --> 00:10:56,781 I've never really thought about not thinking before. 295 00:10:56,784 --> 00:10:58,743 Well, I'm asking you to think about it. 296 00:10:58,745 --> 00:11:01,023 But I thought you were interested in not thinking. 297 00:11:01,026 --> 00:11:02,833 I am. I want you to think about not thinking, 298 00:11:02,836 --> 00:11:04,183 and then teach me how to do it. 299 00:11:04,185 --> 00:11:06,489 - Do what? - Not think. 300 00:11:06,491 --> 00:11:08,537 All right. 301 00:11:11,018 --> 00:11:12,626 This is tough. 302 00:11:12,628 --> 00:11:14,765 I'm good at not thinking, but I don't think 303 00:11:14,768 --> 00:11:16,935 I can teach you how to not think without thinking. 304 00:11:16,937 --> 00:11:19,117 Hmm, well, thank you for trying. 305 00:11:19,120 --> 00:11:20,851 Hold on! What if you're thinking 306 00:11:20,854 --> 00:11:22,331 about something else instead? 307 00:11:22,333 --> 00:11:24,333 Would that count as thinking or not thinking? 308 00:11:24,335 --> 00:11:26,466 I suppose it's similar to the mantras 309 00:11:26,468 --> 00:11:28,195 extolled by the sages of the east. 310 00:11:28,198 --> 00:11:30,111 It's a practice that Swami Vivekananda 311 00:11:30,114 --> 00:11:32,384 called Japa Yoga and it's intended to bring out 312 00:11:32,387 --> 00:11:35,129 a single-pointedness of concentration. 313 00:11:36,608 --> 00:11:38,347 Sorry, I zoned out. 314 00:11:38,349 --> 00:11:40,359 - Ooh, tell me how. - Let's see. 315 00:11:40,362 --> 00:11:41,492 You were blabbering. 316 00:11:41,495 --> 00:11:43,109 It all started to blur together. 317 00:11:43,112 --> 00:11:44,312 And I was gone. 318 00:11:44,315 --> 00:11:46,311 At what point did it start to happen? 319 00:11:46,314 --> 00:11:47,789 I don't know. Say it again. 320 00:11:47,792 --> 00:11:49,053 I said I suppose 321 00:11:49,056 --> 00:11:50,446 it's similar to the mantras 322 00:11:50,448 --> 00:11:52,203 extolled by the sages of the east. 323 00:11:52,206 --> 00:11:55,424 It's a practice that Swami Vivekananda called Japa Yoga... 324 00:11:55,427 --> 00:11:57,908 ♪ 325 00:12:04,549 --> 00:12:06,508 That is wild. 326 00:12:12,644 --> 00:12:15,242 ADULT SHELDON: The next day, armed with the sage advice 327 00:12:15,245 --> 00:12:17,054 of my father, my brother, 328 00:12:17,057 --> 00:12:20,649 and an executed murderer, I was allowed to retake the test. 329 00:12:20,652 --> 00:12:23,655 You have 45 minutes starting now. 330 00:12:24,539 --> 00:12:26,000 SHELDON: Okay, just do it. 331 00:12:26,003 --> 00:12:27,164 Just do it. 332 00:12:27,167 --> 00:12:29,776 Just turn your brain off and do it. 333 00:12:29,779 --> 00:12:31,648 Is it off? Am I doing it? 334 00:12:31,651 --> 00:12:34,156 Wait, if I'm thinking it's off, then it must still be on. 335 00:12:34,159 --> 00:12:37,057 I'm trying too hard. Don't overthink, just do it. 336 00:12:37,060 --> 00:12:39,570 Just do it, just... 337 00:12:39,573 --> 00:12:42,617 Time's up. 338 00:12:42,620 --> 00:12:43,837 But I didn't do it. 339 00:12:43,840 --> 00:12:45,125 Waste my morning? 340 00:12:45,128 --> 00:12:46,545 You did it. 341 00:12:46,548 --> 00:12:48,766 That toilet won't stop running. 342 00:12:48,768 --> 00:12:50,429 Have you tried jiggling the handle? 343 00:12:50,432 --> 00:12:51,968 I jiggled it, wiggled it. 344 00:12:51,971 --> 00:12:53,596 Damn near had a baby with it. 345 00:12:53,598 --> 00:12:55,207 [chuckles] Yeah, let me take a look. 346 00:12:55,209 --> 00:12:58,645 I was fixing to put some dinner on, if you care to join me. 347 00:12:58,647 --> 00:13:00,576 I don't want to put you out. 348 00:13:00,579 --> 00:13:02,231 It's just frozen lasagna. 349 00:13:02,234 --> 00:13:04,782 But I'm going oven instead of microwave, 350 00:13:04,784 --> 00:13:06,479 'cause you're company. [chuckles] 351 00:13:06,481 --> 00:13:08,481 What are you doing? 352 00:13:08,483 --> 00:13:09,699 What do you mean? 353 00:13:09,701 --> 00:13:11,965 [scoffs] You know what I mean. 354 00:13:13,820 --> 00:13:16,332 I was just trying to thank you. 355 00:13:16,335 --> 00:13:17,901 And you're the one who offered 356 00:13:17,904 --> 00:13:19,512 to come over here and fix things. 357 00:13:19,515 --> 00:13:20,775 I was being nice. 358 00:13:20,778 --> 00:13:21,864 So was I. 359 00:13:21,867 --> 00:13:23,551 Yeah, maybe a little too nice. 360 00:13:23,554 --> 00:13:25,280 There is no pleasing you. 361 00:13:25,282 --> 00:13:26,512 Well, I don't need this here. 362 00:13:26,515 --> 00:13:27,793 I can get fighting at my house. 363 00:13:27,796 --> 00:13:29,894 Then maybe you should go back to your house. 364 00:13:29,896 --> 00:13:32,684 BILLY: Mom, can you help with my homework? 365 00:13:32,687 --> 00:13:34,942 There in a sec. 366 00:13:34,944 --> 00:13:36,814 You leaving? 367 00:13:36,816 --> 00:13:38,250 You gonna fix the toilet? 368 00:13:38,252 --> 00:13:39,904 - No. - Then I guess I'm not leaving. 369 00:13:39,906 --> 00:13:41,253 Thank you. Lasagna? 370 00:13:41,255 --> 00:13:42,950 Small piece. Mary's making tacos. 371 00:13:42,952 --> 00:13:44,187 Okay. 372 00:13:44,190 --> 00:13:46,442 ADULT SHELDON: Trying to outsmart my own thought patterns 373 00:13:46,445 --> 00:13:47,999 proved to be challenging. 374 00:13:48,001 --> 00:13:51,306 It's understandable, as smart as I was, 375 00:13:51,308 --> 00:13:53,178 I was also that smart. 376 00:13:53,180 --> 00:13:56,877 I wondered if I could invent a mind control device, 377 00:13:56,880 --> 00:13:59,336 but that sounded a little too "mwah-ha-ha" 378 00:13:59,339 --> 00:14:01,489 even for me. It turned out 379 00:14:01,492 --> 00:14:03,318 the device I was looking for 380 00:14:03,320 --> 00:14:05,930 had been in my presence the entire time. 381 00:14:05,932 --> 00:14:07,975 Television. It had been tranquilizing 382 00:14:07,977 --> 00:14:10,551 the minds of America's youth for generations, 383 00:14:10,554 --> 00:14:12,434 and it was just what I needed. 384 00:14:12,437 --> 00:14:13,981 MAN: Lift off. 385 00:14:13,983 --> 00:14:15,767 Too interesting. 386 00:14:16,906 --> 00:14:18,159 Too violent. 387 00:14:18,161 --> 00:14:19,552 [indistinct TV chatter] 388 00:14:19,554 --> 00:14:21,902 [chuckles] I don't think so. 389 00:14:21,904 --> 00:14:25,166 Now, then, let's build us a little cloud. 390 00:14:25,168 --> 00:14:27,093 Clouds are very free. 391 00:14:27,096 --> 00:14:28,695 Very, very free. 392 00:14:28,698 --> 00:14:30,242 Tell you what. If you... 393 00:14:30,245 --> 00:14:32,304 That was so much fun, let's get crazy... 394 00:14:32,306 --> 00:14:35,307 Who's this bohemian? 395 00:14:35,310 --> 00:14:37,028 PETERSON: If you could have 396 00:14:37,031 --> 00:14:39,485 any job in the high school, what would it be? 397 00:14:39,487 --> 00:14:41,664 [laughs] I don't know, why? 398 00:14:41,667 --> 00:14:43,884 Sometimes I look at the janitor 399 00:14:43,887 --> 00:14:45,796 pushing around that buffing machine. 400 00:14:45,799 --> 00:14:48,756 That thing looks like a blast. 401 00:14:48,759 --> 00:14:50,193 He doesn't wear a tie. 402 00:14:50,196 --> 00:14:53,154 No fights with the school board. 403 00:14:53,157 --> 00:14:56,595 Vomit and feces aside, he's, he's living the dream. 404 00:14:58,003 --> 00:15:00,389 Hello? Am I boring you? 405 00:15:00,392 --> 00:15:01,435 Sorry. 406 00:15:01,438 --> 00:15:03,247 I'm a little distracted. 407 00:15:03,250 --> 00:15:06,120 Trouble at home? 408 00:15:06,122 --> 00:15:07,578 - Something like that. - Mm. 409 00:15:07,581 --> 00:15:08,973 You want to talk about it? 410 00:15:10,331 --> 00:15:12,070 No. 411 00:15:12,073 --> 00:15:14,203 Tell me about your fun bachelor life. 412 00:15:14,206 --> 00:15:16,257 Well, as of last week, I officially 413 00:15:16,260 --> 00:15:18,617 tasted every Campbell's soup. 414 00:15:18,620 --> 00:15:20,500 [laughing]: Come on, Tom. 415 00:15:20,503 --> 00:15:22,329 I'm trying to live vicariously here. 416 00:15:22,332 --> 00:15:24,138 There's got to be something good. 417 00:15:24,140 --> 00:15:27,141 Let's see, I go hunting and fishing whenever I feel like it. 418 00:15:27,143 --> 00:15:28,751 Now we're getting somewhere. 419 00:15:28,753 --> 00:15:32,059 - Spend my money on whatever I want. - Mm. 420 00:15:32,061 --> 00:15:33,974 What was the last thing you got? 421 00:15:33,976 --> 00:15:36,484 Foreman fight on pay-per-view. 422 00:15:36,487 --> 00:15:39,843 I ate a bucket of chicken and watched it in my underwear. 423 00:15:39,846 --> 00:15:41,117 You lucky bastard. 424 00:15:41,120 --> 00:15:42,765 Uh-huh. [chuckles] 425 00:15:42,768 --> 00:15:44,046 What about women? 426 00:15:44,049 --> 00:15:46,625 [sighs] Honestly... 427 00:15:46,628 --> 00:15:49,771 it's tough to meet people at this age. 428 00:15:49,774 --> 00:15:51,914 No, come on, charming fella like you? 429 00:15:51,917 --> 00:15:53,003 [scoffs] 430 00:15:53,006 --> 00:15:54,504 Sadly, this is the best night out 431 00:15:54,507 --> 00:15:56,344 I've had in a long time. 432 00:15:56,346 --> 00:15:59,054 Yeah. Me, too. 433 00:15:59,057 --> 00:16:02,176 But if you know anybody, send them my way. 434 00:16:02,179 --> 00:16:04,355 [country song playing softly] 435 00:16:05,877 --> 00:16:08,097 Yeah, I'll think about. 436 00:16:09,620 --> 00:16:11,890 You ever eat chicken in your underwear? 437 00:16:11,893 --> 00:16:13,144 What do you think? 438 00:16:13,146 --> 00:16:14,968 - Yes. - Yes. 439 00:16:14,971 --> 00:16:16,842 BOB ROSS: Making a gorgeous little mountain. 440 00:16:16,845 --> 00:16:17,984 Ooh. 441 00:16:17,987 --> 00:16:20,614 Little stand of evergreens that lives right in here. 442 00:16:20,617 --> 00:16:22,936 I didn't know Richard Simmons can paint. 443 00:16:22,938 --> 00:16:24,351 His name's Bob Ross. 444 00:16:24,354 --> 00:16:26,050 And he's oddly hypnotic. 445 00:16:26,053 --> 00:16:27,443 You're gonna paint? 446 00:16:27,446 --> 00:16:29,203 No, I just like watching him. 447 00:16:29,205 --> 00:16:30,703 I can't explain it, but his voice 448 00:16:30,706 --> 00:16:33,554 and demeanor are comforting, like a hot beverage. 449 00:16:33,557 --> 00:16:35,688 Let's get crazy and, once again, 450 00:16:35,690 --> 00:16:38,125 just pull it out, just like we did the other one. 451 00:16:38,127 --> 00:16:39,561 Yawn. 452 00:16:39,563 --> 00:16:42,825 Barely touch, whisper. 453 00:16:42,827 --> 00:16:44,827 Just whisper light. 454 00:16:44,829 --> 00:16:46,307 Let it go. 455 00:16:46,309 --> 00:16:48,273 Let it go, no pressure. 456 00:16:48,276 --> 00:16:51,007 ADULT SHELDON: The yips are a cruel mistress. 457 00:16:51,010 --> 00:16:54,315 But thanks to a magical man with a halo of curls, 458 00:16:54,317 --> 00:16:58,473 I was finally able to relax and get out of my own head. 459 00:16:58,476 --> 00:17:02,323 Instead of freezing up, I thought about happy integers. 460 00:17:02,325 --> 00:17:04,847 Fluffy little formulas 461 00:17:04,849 --> 00:17:07,067 and a sweet Bessel function that just wants me 462 00:17:07,069 --> 00:17:08,112 to do my very best. 463 00:17:08,114 --> 00:17:09,187 Done. 464 00:17:09,190 --> 00:17:11,020 Great, I can still make my doubles match. 465 00:17:11,023 --> 00:17:12,379 Get out. 466 00:17:19,757 --> 00:17:21,384 - [crowd groaning] - [sighs] Damn it. 467 00:17:21,387 --> 00:17:24,040 - Hold it. Time, time, time. - UMPIRE: Time! 468 00:17:24,043 --> 00:17:25,867 I don't know what I'm doing wrong. 469 00:17:25,870 --> 00:17:27,914 Ah, don't worry about it. It's not your fault. 470 00:17:27,916 --> 00:17:29,559 - It isn't? - No, I'm the one 471 00:17:29,562 --> 00:17:32,049 that let a girl pitch. It's my mistake. 472 00:17:32,051 --> 00:17:34,484 What? I've won so many games. 473 00:17:34,487 --> 00:17:35,791 Oh, that was then. 474 00:17:35,793 --> 00:17:37,630 Why are you being so mean? 475 00:17:37,633 --> 00:17:40,373 Well, why are you getting so emotional, like women do? 476 00:17:40,376 --> 00:17:42,506 Maybe you ought to be a cheerleader. 477 00:17:42,509 --> 00:17:44,379 You trying to make me mad? 478 00:17:44,382 --> 00:17:45,888 - Is it working? - Yeah. 479 00:17:45,890 --> 00:17:47,107 Well, I tell you what, 480 00:17:47,109 --> 00:17:49,414 picture my face in the catcher's mitt. 481 00:17:49,416 --> 00:17:50,415 What? 482 00:17:50,417 --> 00:17:51,894 Do I have to dumb it down for you? 483 00:17:51,896 --> 00:17:54,071 Just do what I tell you. 484 00:17:54,073 --> 00:17:55,552 [sighs] 485 00:17:56,553 --> 00:17:59,208 [spectators calling out] 486 00:18:00,775 --> 00:18:02,427 [grunts] 487 00:18:02,429 --> 00:18:04,385 - Strike! - Yes! 488 00:18:04,387 --> 00:18:07,793 Aw, don't get all hysterical, little girl! 489 00:18:07,796 --> 00:18:09,303 You suck! 490 00:18:09,305 --> 00:18:10,489 You suck! 491 00:18:10,492 --> 00:18:12,872 No! You suck! 492 00:18:12,874 --> 00:18:15,004 Strike! 493 00:18:15,006 --> 00:18:18,227 I am the leader of the little people. 494 00:18:20,453 --> 00:18:26,203 - Synced and corrected by VitoSilans - -- www.Addic7ed.com -- 33695

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