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Chapter 16, there are as many
ways to celebrate Christmas
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00:00:04,380 --> 00:00:07,049
as there are snowflakes
on a winter's day.
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00:00:07,050 --> 00:00:08,342
I can still see tree.
4
00:00:08,350 --> 00:00:10,080
We need some more tinsel up in here.
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00:00:10,110 --> 00:00:12,563
And Marina enjoyed all of them.
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00:00:12,570 --> 00:00:14,900
[sweater playing festive
chiptune melody]
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Don't take this the wrong way,
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00:00:16,380 --> 00:00:18,102
but you're not usually this happy.
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Here's the thing, Gretchen.
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00:00:19,380 --> 00:00:21,940
The rest of my year is
unrelenting drudgery,
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00:00:21,960 --> 00:00:23,315
but for a few magical weeks,
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00:00:23,320 --> 00:00:26,880
it's about family and
posadas and bu�uelos.
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00:00:26,910 --> 00:00:28,599
Also I craft like a beast.
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00:00:28,600 --> 00:00:32,070
How are we gonna get that
on? I can't even see the top.
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00:00:32,080 --> 00:00:35,020
Oh, I'll figure it out.
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00:00:35,040 --> 00:00:38,600
Every year, the Hayworth family
did a secret Santa gift exchange.
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00:00:38,620 --> 00:00:41,584
They started it so they'd only have
to buy one present per person,
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00:00:41,590 --> 00:00:43,460
but Connor still went overboard.
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00:00:43,470 --> 00:00:45,793
So this year, they
instituted a price cap.
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00:00:45,800 --> 00:00:47,715
What do we think? 25?
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00:00:47,720 --> 00:00:50,593
2,500? Seems kind of
steep for you guys, no?
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00:00:50,600 --> 00:00:52,386
She means $25.
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00:00:52,390 --> 00:00:54,138
[chuckles] 25...
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00:00:55,190 --> 00:00:56,620
$25?
25
00:00:56,640 --> 00:00:58,340
Can you even buy a card with $25?
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00:00:58,370 --> 00:01:01,160
We need a price limit. Last year,
you bought me an electric bike
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00:01:01,180 --> 00:01:02,800
while I wrote you a poem.
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00:01:02,820 --> 00:01:05,107
Well, can't do sick tricks on a poem.
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00:01:05,110 --> 00:01:07,600
- JoJo, you in, secret Santa?
- No, I'm good.
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00:01:07,620 --> 00:01:09,239
I don't like to make
people buy me presents.
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That is so considerate.
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00:01:10,410 --> 00:01:11,680
Yeah, they kinda suck at it.
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00:01:11,700 --> 00:01:14,074
I am way better at
buying things for myself.
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00:01:14,080 --> 00:01:15,618
That's the holiday spirit.
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00:01:15,620 --> 00:01:19,288
All right, my little elves,
let's pick some names.
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00:01:19,290 --> 00:01:21,780
[upbeat music]
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00:01:21,800 --> 00:01:24,710
Are the snowflakes supposed
to look like hermit crabs?
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00:01:26,640 --> 00:01:29,290
Hey, so hypothetically speaking,
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00:01:29,300 --> 00:01:32,600
if someone were to get
Denise for secret Santa,
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00:01:32,620 --> 00:01:35,070
what would you suggest
that person get her,
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00:01:35,090 --> 00:01:36,880
you know, with the price
limit thing and all?
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00:01:37,730 --> 00:01:39,391
You seriously don't know
what Denise likes?
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00:01:39,392 --> 00:01:41,280
First of all, I said "someone."
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00:01:41,290 --> 00:01:43,093
- Mm-hmm.
- Not me, okay?
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00:01:43,100 --> 00:01:45,397
Second, I know what Denise likes.
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00:01:45,400 --> 00:01:46,774
- Mm-hmm.
- Teaching.
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00:01:46,780 --> 00:01:49,276
- That's her job.
- Lesbian stuff.
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00:01:49,280 --> 00:01:51,700
Okay, she's your sister-in-law,
she's family.
49
00:01:51,710 --> 00:01:53,489
You should be able to get
her a thoughtful gift.
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00:01:53,490 --> 00:01:55,660
But for $25? I mean, what
am I supposed to get her?
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00:01:55,680 --> 00:01:57,076
Like, a pack of scrunchies?
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00:01:58,250 --> 00:01:59,745
Seriously, would she like that?
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00:01:59,750 --> 00:02:02,081
- What do you think, Connor?
- Yeah.
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00:02:02,090 --> 00:02:03,260
Think about it again.
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00:02:03,280 --> 00:02:04,500
- No. Yeah.
- No.
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00:02:04,510 --> 00:02:07,294
- Hey, guys, I got the star on the tree.
- Oh, my God.
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00:02:07,300 --> 00:02:09,460
- Oh, oh. Oh, boy.
- Whoa!
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00:02:09,480 --> 00:02:10,630
- Uh...
- Nice, Kel.
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00:02:10,631 --> 00:02:11,659
?
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00:02:11,660 --> 00:02:14,660
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00:02:17,760 --> 00:02:19,380
It's like a Christmas miracle.
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00:02:19,390 --> 00:02:22,740
I know. Ghostwriting Sofia's
memoir finally paid off.
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00:02:22,760 --> 00:02:25,940
I mean, yeah, I had to put
my novel aside, but look.
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00:02:25,950 --> 00:02:28,273
We finally have a check
with a comma in it.
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00:02:28,280 --> 00:02:29,733
We can get the floors fixed.
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00:02:29,740 --> 00:02:31,026
Or that leaky faucet in the bathroom.
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00:02:31,027 --> 00:02:32,653
And replace the washer/dryer.
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00:02:32,660 --> 00:02:36,680
- Can I interest you in a new AC unit?
- Ooh, all that cold air
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00:02:36,700 --> 00:02:37,950
is making me hot.
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00:02:37,960 --> 00:02:40,940
[chuckles] The only thing better
than this would be if we had it
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00:02:40,950 --> 00:02:43,313
in $100 bills we could
roll around in it.
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00:02:43,320 --> 00:02:44,707
[chuckles]
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00:02:46,940 --> 00:02:49,250
- Oh, my gosh.
- Oh... more!
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00:02:49,260 --> 00:02:51,240
[upbeat music]
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00:02:51,970 --> 00:02:54,550
Kelvin has got to do a better
job of hiding his gifts.
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00:02:54,560 --> 00:02:56,677
- I found these behind the toilet.
- [laughs]
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00:02:57,200 --> 00:03:00,305
Speaking of presents, shall
we check out our gift haul?
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00:03:00,310 --> 00:03:02,380
Yeah. You know, I tell
my class every year,
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00:03:02,400 --> 00:03:04,160
"Don't bother," but
second graders love me.
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00:03:04,180 --> 00:03:06,979
- What can I say?
- Mm. Okay.
81
00:03:07,820 --> 00:03:08,840
Oh.
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00:03:08,860 --> 00:03:11,063
A cotton ball snowman.
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00:03:11,070 --> 00:03:13,610
- And one appears to be used.
- Oh.
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00:03:13,620 --> 00:03:15,863
Oh, this one's heavy. "From Cameron."
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00:03:15,870 --> 00:03:17,449
Oh, is that the boy
who has a crush on you?
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00:03:17,450 --> 00:03:20,620
Yeah. And it's car keys.
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00:03:20,640 --> 00:03:22,578
- I'll call his mom.
- Yeah. All right,
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00:03:22,580 --> 00:03:26,039
shall we see how fancy-schmancy
Windmount Academy does it?
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00:03:26,040 --> 00:03:27,416
Huh? Hm, hm.
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00:03:29,040 --> 00:03:30,780
Oh, wow.
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00:03:30,800 --> 00:03:32,980
Oh, it's one of those expensive bags
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00:03:33,000 --> 00:03:34,840
that the moms at school wear.
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00:03:34,850 --> 00:03:36,259
It's probably like three
months' worth of rent...
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00:03:36,260 --> 00:03:38,427
- Yeah.
- In a much nicer apartment.
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00:03:38,430 --> 00:03:40,139
All because some designer
put their name on it.
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00:03:40,140 --> 00:03:41,760
Who would want something like this?
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00:03:41,780 --> 00:03:44,057
[gasps] Oh, my God.
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00:03:44,060 --> 00:03:46,769
That's the new Armendo.
How did you two get this?
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00:03:46,770 --> 00:03:49,740
- You didn't have to say it like that.
- This bag is super exclusive.
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00:03:49,760 --> 00:03:52,400
Even Beyonc� is on the waitlist.
Can you take a picture of me?
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00:03:52,420 --> 00:03:54,743
- Yeah.
- I need to post right now.
102
00:03:55,620 --> 00:03:58,405
- [camera shutter clicking]
- Ooh, people are gonna hate me.
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00:03:58,410 --> 00:03:59,700
[laughs]
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00:03:59,720 --> 00:04:01,249
Yeah, I don't think this
bag is really for us.
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00:04:01,250 --> 00:04:03,535
- No, I'll return it for cash tomorrow.
- Smart.
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00:04:03,540 --> 00:04:05,119
You're not even pointing
the camera at me.
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00:04:05,120 --> 00:04:06,619
Oops.
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00:04:06,620 --> 00:04:07,629
?
109
00:04:07,630 --> 00:04:08,707
[sighs]
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00:04:08,710 --> 00:04:11,280
You always hear about
roll around on money sex,
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00:04:11,300 --> 00:04:14,240
but you never think it'll happen to you.
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00:04:14,250 --> 00:04:15,880
?
113
00:04:15,900 --> 00:04:18,133
Tom, you there?
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00:04:18,140 --> 00:04:22,763
Yeah, sorry, just I can't stop
thinking about my brother.
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00:04:22,770 --> 00:04:24,970
Weird thing to say in this moment.
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00:04:24,980 --> 00:04:29,390
[laughs] It's just now that
we have that check, I...
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00:04:30,320 --> 00:04:32,680
I kind of want to pay him
back for that loan he gave us.
118
00:04:32,690 --> 00:04:33,982
You're thinking about that now?
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00:04:33,990 --> 00:04:35,609
I've been thinking about it for a while.
120
00:04:35,610 --> 00:04:37,620
It's always kind of hovering over me.
121
00:04:37,640 --> 00:04:40,700
Well, Connor is certainly
not thinking about it,
122
00:04:40,720 --> 00:04:42,199
and you told him that
you would pay him back
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00:04:42,200 --> 00:04:43,450
once you sold your novel.
124
00:04:43,460 --> 00:04:45,720
Who knows how long that could be?
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00:04:45,740 --> 00:04:47,869
And I don't like the feeling
of being in debt to anyone,
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00:04:47,870 --> 00:04:49,240
you know, especially him.
127
00:04:49,250 --> 00:04:51,320
But we could certainly use the money.
128
00:04:51,340 --> 00:04:55,045
Remember, the floor,
the AC, the trip to Hawaii?
129
00:04:55,050 --> 00:04:56,505
Did we talk about a trip to Hawaii?
130
00:04:56,510 --> 00:04:58,000
It just occurred to me.
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00:04:58,020 --> 00:05:00,940
Right. [laughs] Look, all
that stuff sounds great,
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00:05:00,960 --> 00:05:06,160
and I want to do it, but I'm
not sure if I could enjoy it...
133
00:05:06,180 --> 00:05:08,141
until I pay Connor back.
134
00:05:08,150 --> 00:05:09,900
[sighs]
135
00:05:09,920 --> 00:05:14,180
Fine, if... it bothers you
that much, then yes.
136
00:05:14,200 --> 00:05:16,650
We can use our sex check
to pay Connor back.
137
00:05:16,660 --> 00:05:19,319
Wow, yes, thank you. That means a lot.
138
00:05:19,320 --> 00:05:20,359
[sighs]
139
00:05:20,360 --> 00:05:21,520
Wait a second. Where'd it go?
140
00:05:21,530 --> 00:05:24,680
?
141
00:05:24,700 --> 00:05:27,077
Huh, how'd it get in there?
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00:05:27,080 --> 00:05:31,180
? Have to work as a busy bee ?
143
00:05:31,200 --> 00:05:35,210
? To decorate the Christmas tree ?
144
00:05:35,220 --> 00:05:37,713
Love the bag. Tr�s chic.
145
00:05:37,720 --> 00:05:39,923
Oh, I'm actually here to... um,
146
00:05:39,930 --> 00:05:41,758
- thank you.
- [chuckles]
147
00:05:42,740 --> 00:05:45,130
Uh, sorry, excuse me.
148
00:05:45,140 --> 00:05:47,222
- Could you just help me with...
- Stop.
149
00:05:47,230 --> 00:05:49,308
Is that top from Stella McCartney?
150
00:05:49,310 --> 00:05:50,684
Uh, do they sell it at Goodwill?
151
00:05:50,690 --> 00:05:53,312
Ugh, you're hilarious. Champagne?
152
00:05:53,320 --> 00:05:55,689
[chuckles] Are you ser...
in the afternoon?
153
00:05:55,690 --> 00:05:57,816
Stop, I'm dead. Here.
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00:05:57,820 --> 00:06:00,235
Can I show you some new belts
that aren't even on the floor?
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00:06:00,240 --> 00:06:02,237
Perfect match for that bag.
156
00:06:02,240 --> 00:06:05,407
Oh, no. You know, actually,
um, the truth is...
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00:06:06,790 --> 00:06:08,819
Who doesn't need a new belt?
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00:06:08,820 --> 00:06:10,940
- [chuckles] This way.
- Okay.
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00:06:12,420 --> 00:06:13,880
Thanks for helping me.
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00:06:13,900 --> 00:06:15,229
If I don't get Denise a good gift,
161
00:06:15,230 --> 00:06:17,210
Sarah's gonna shoot me a mean look,
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00:06:17,220 --> 00:06:19,243
and I do not need another one of those.
163
00:06:19,250 --> 00:06:21,340
[chuckles] Shopping and a free lunch?
164
00:06:21,360 --> 00:06:23,634
This is, like, a dream Saturday for me.
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00:06:23,640 --> 00:06:26,310
Well, the moms at Gretchen's
school seem to love this store.
166
00:06:26,320 --> 00:06:28,430
I need something for
under 25 bucks though.
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00:06:29,420 --> 00:06:30,724
This.
168
00:06:31,780 --> 00:06:34,120
- A candle?
- Cinnamon swirl.
169
00:06:34,140 --> 00:06:36,146
Smells like Christmas,
and it's 20 bucks.
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00:06:36,150 --> 00:06:38,559
You pay for it. I'll go reserve a
table at the Cheesecake Palace.
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00:06:38,560 --> 00:06:40,400
Wait, wait, wait, wait,
isn't this a little...
172
00:06:41,700 --> 00:06:43,070
Does Denise like candles?
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00:06:43,080 --> 00:06:45,900
Who doesn't like candles or cinnamon?
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00:06:45,920 --> 00:06:47,580
And she's married to Sarah,
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00:06:47,600 --> 00:06:50,118
so she's obviously down with the swirl.
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00:06:50,120 --> 00:06:51,440
Uh-huh.
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00:06:51,470 --> 00:06:54,247
Is that an interracial joke?
Can I laugh at that?
178
00:06:54,250 --> 00:06:55,958
- I'm laughing at that.
- [laughs]
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00:06:55,960 --> 00:06:58,280
I don't know, I just
thought you'd give me
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00:06:58,300 --> 00:07:00,170
some, like, sister insight.
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00:07:00,180 --> 00:07:02,040
[sighs] Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
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00:07:02,060 --> 00:07:05,258
Um, here's your sister insight.
183
00:07:05,260 --> 00:07:06,593
Mm-hmm.
184
00:07:06,600 --> 00:07:08,720
No one can buy anything for Denise.
185
00:07:08,740 --> 00:07:10,360
She's all selfless.
186
00:07:10,380 --> 00:07:13,058
She's not the kind of person
who wants anything from a store.
187
00:07:13,060 --> 00:07:14,939
Oh, that's cool. That's
good insight, yeah.
188
00:07:14,940 --> 00:07:15,949
- Yeah.
- I kind of wish you had told me that
189
00:07:15,950 --> 00:07:17,104
maybe before we came here.
190
00:07:17,110 --> 00:07:18,860
Made me park at the
mall during Christmas.
191
00:07:18,870 --> 00:07:20,816
Okay, okay, but free lunch though.
192
00:07:20,820 --> 00:07:22,401
Oh, that's weird.
193
00:07:22,410 --> 00:07:24,339
There's a rich lady who
looks just like my sister.
194
00:07:24,340 --> 00:07:26,273
Could you imagine Sarah
in a store like this?
195
00:07:26,280 --> 00:07:28,073
- [laughter]
- My God.
196
00:07:28,080 --> 00:07:30,380
- It's perfect. It's perfect.
- Oh, I know.
197
00:07:30,390 --> 00:07:33,245
- You have to.
- Yes, I must. I must.
198
00:07:36,260 --> 00:07:39,450
Hey, you're just in time
to help me ice these guys.
199
00:07:39,460 --> 00:07:41,920
- Mm.
- I sound like a mob boss.
200
00:07:41,930 --> 00:07:43,129
Oh, you didn't return the purse.
201
00:07:43,130 --> 00:07:46,133
I tried, but they wouldn't take
the bag without a receipt.
202
00:07:46,140 --> 00:07:48,060
- That's annoying.
- I know. Stupid rules.
203
00:07:48,080 --> 00:07:50,762
- Oh, well, guess I have to keep it.
- We can sell it online.
204
00:07:50,770 --> 00:07:53,348
Oh, wow, yeah. That's so smart.
205
00:07:53,350 --> 00:07:55,300
I bet we'd make even
more money that way.
206
00:07:55,320 --> 00:07:56,879
People online go crazy
for stuff like this.
207
00:07:56,880 --> 00:07:58,590
Oh, great, yeah, let's sell it.
208
00:07:58,600 --> 00:08:00,480
- Yeah.
- Get it out of here.
209
00:08:00,490 --> 00:08:02,274
Yeah, I better hide it
before JoJo takes it.
210
00:08:02,280 --> 00:08:06,073
Mm, yeah, okay. Put that thing away.
211
00:08:06,080 --> 00:08:08,740
?
212
00:08:08,760 --> 00:08:12,840
- Kelvin, come help us!
- I'm busy!
213
00:08:12,860 --> 00:08:16,079
I'm hanging up the mistletoe
in case any shorties drop by.
214
00:08:16,080 --> 00:08:18,123
Gretchen, can you pass
the candy cane balcony?
215
00:08:18,130 --> 00:08:20,542
Oh, it's not a balcony. It's a terrace.
216
00:08:22,980 --> 00:08:25,290
Oh, there he is.
217
00:08:25,300 --> 00:08:27,049
Connor, today is a very big day.
218
00:08:27,050 --> 00:08:28,633
You finally got a personal trainer.
219
00:08:28,640 --> 00:08:30,010
What? No.
220
00:08:30,020 --> 00:08:32,054
You going straight to calf implants?
221
00:08:32,060 --> 00:08:33,680
Dude, just do some calf raises first.
222
00:08:33,700 --> 00:08:35,500
- Then go from there.
- No, what are you...
223
00:08:35,520 --> 00:08:40,604
No, um, today is a big day
because I am giving you this.
224
00:08:40,610 --> 00:08:42,930
- Merry Christmas.
- Thank you.
225
00:08:43,740 --> 00:08:46,777
- What's this?
- It's the money I owe you.
226
00:08:46,780 --> 00:08:48,180
From tacos the other night?
227
00:08:48,200 --> 00:08:49,579
Tom, I don't think it was this much.
228
00:08:49,580 --> 00:08:52,491
- No, from the loan.
- The loan.
229
00:08:52,500 --> 00:08:56,160
The loan, the loan. The loan!
230
00:08:56,180 --> 00:08:57,880
Oh, I totally forgot about that.
231
00:08:57,900 --> 00:08:59,873
Okay, well, I didn't forget about it,
232
00:08:59,880 --> 00:09:01,083
so that is for you.
233
00:09:01,090 --> 00:09:04,044
Consider our transaction complete.
234
00:09:04,050 --> 00:09:06,860
That's so dope. Thank you, Tom.
235
00:09:06,880 --> 00:09:09,440
But you know what?
You can keep the money.
236
00:09:09,470 --> 00:09:12,360
- Merry Christmas.
- No. [chuckles]
237
00:09:12,380 --> 00:09:15,640
No, I insist. Merry Christmas.
238
00:09:15,660 --> 00:09:17,480
No, I also insist.
239
00:09:17,500 --> 00:09:18,880
The loan is forgiven.
240
00:09:18,900 --> 00:09:20,760
I'm giving you the check back.
241
00:09:20,780 --> 00:09:21,937
Merry Christmas, Tom.
242
00:09:22,960 --> 00:09:27,270
No, Merry Christmas to you.
243
00:09:27,280 --> 00:09:31,655
Merry Christmas and happy new year.
244
00:09:31,660 --> 00:09:33,419
What are you doing?
This isn't how loans work.
245
00:09:33,420 --> 00:09:34,574
You have to take it back.
246
00:09:34,580 --> 00:09:36,060
What are you, my accountant now, huh?
247
00:09:36,080 --> 00:09:37,870
What are you, Milton Seler, CPA?
248
00:09:37,880 --> 00:09:39,121
'Cause that's what you sound like, Tom.
249
00:09:39,122 --> 00:09:41,540
Okay, you know what?
Two can play this game.
250
00:09:41,550 --> 00:09:44,380
- Feliz Navidad.
- Cool.
251
00:09:44,400 --> 00:09:46,378
- Happy Hanukkah.
- Okay.
252
00:09:46,380 --> 00:09:48,820
I'll just send you the money
with Zelle. It's super easy.
253
00:09:49,980 --> 00:09:51,000
Beep, boop, bop.
254
00:09:51,020 --> 00:09:52,179
- Already done. Sent.
- [phone chimes]
255
00:09:52,180 --> 00:09:55,820
Cool, and I am just gonna send you back
256
00:09:55,840 --> 00:09:58,920
the same amount plus 10 bucks.
257
00:09:58,940 --> 00:10:00,809
- Thank you, Zelle.
- Okay, you know what?
258
00:10:00,810 --> 00:10:02,880
This is $14
259
00:10:02,900 --> 00:10:05,120
and a Smoothie Shack
card with nine punches.
260
00:10:05,140 --> 00:10:07,220
- Consider it a down payment.
- What is the big deal?
261
00:10:07,230 --> 00:10:08,733
It's just money.
It doesn't mean anything.
262
00:10:08,734 --> 00:10:10,963
[chuckles] Wow.
263
00:10:10,970 --> 00:10:13,321
You know what? Maybe not to you.
264
00:10:16,410 --> 00:10:19,400
That has nine punches.
I earned this smoothie.
265
00:10:22,340 --> 00:10:27,040
[soft dramatic music]
266
00:10:28,420 --> 00:10:30,500
Good evening... to you both.
267
00:10:30,520 --> 00:10:33,400
Hi, hello, good evening. Up late?
268
00:10:33,420 --> 00:10:34,551
While you were out on the town,
269
00:10:34,552 --> 00:10:37,020
a buyer from Craigslist came
by to meet your little friend,
270
00:10:37,040 --> 00:10:38,430
but imagine my surprise
271
00:10:38,440 --> 00:10:40,900
when the bag was nowhere to be found.
272
00:10:40,920 --> 00:10:44,936
Right, yeah, um, I just took
it out grocery shopping.
273
00:10:44,940 --> 00:10:46,570
- Really?
- Yeah, mm-hmm.
274
00:10:46,590 --> 00:10:47,606
What'd you buy?
275
00:10:47,610 --> 00:10:49,691
Oh, I just got some...
[mumbles indistinctly]
276
00:10:49,700 --> 00:10:50,775
What's that?
277
00:10:50,780 --> 00:10:52,694
Some dry... dried fig fruit.
278
00:10:52,700 --> 00:10:53,862
Okay.
279
00:10:53,870 --> 00:10:56,900
- And where is this dried frig fruit?
- I ate it.
280
00:10:56,920 --> 00:10:58,283
Yeah, it was so good
that I ate the whole box.
281
00:10:58,284 --> 00:11:00,827
It was in a box. It came in a box.
Picture of a sun on the box.
282
00:11:01,720 --> 00:11:03,030
- Lulu.
- Yes, Lulu?
283
00:11:03,050 --> 00:11:06,416
First you weren't "able"
to return the bag.
284
00:11:06,420 --> 00:11:09,013
Then you took it to
do some fig shopping.
285
00:11:09,020 --> 00:11:10,760
Do you not want to sell the bag?
286
00:11:10,780 --> 00:11:11,963
You know you can let me know.
287
00:11:11,970 --> 00:11:13,131
I wanna get rid of this bag
288
00:11:13,140 --> 00:11:15,383
'cause this bag is a symbol
of everything that we hate.
289
00:11:15,390 --> 00:11:19,183
You know, the leather, the luxury.
290
00:11:19,190 --> 00:11:21,973
Okay, just checking 'cause the
buyer's coming back tomorrow.
291
00:11:21,980 --> 00:11:23,850
Good. That's so good.
292
00:11:23,860 --> 00:11:26,728
'Cause cha-ching, you know?
"Moo-nay" in our pockets.
293
00:11:26,730 --> 00:11:29,231
Okay, well, to be safe, I should
probably hang on to the bag,
294
00:11:29,240 --> 00:11:30,440
- take it in case you...
- Oh.
295
00:11:30,470 --> 00:11:33,149
- ... go grocery shopping again.
- Okay. Okay, yeah.
296
00:11:33,150 --> 00:11:34,159
[chair scooting loudly]
297
00:11:34,160 --> 00:11:35,487
- Just... okay, okay, okay.
- Yeah.
298
00:11:35,488 --> 00:11:36,880
- Okay, yes.
- [laughs]
299
00:11:36,900 --> 00:11:39,360
Okay. Careful. [chuckles]
I mean, I don't care.
300
00:11:41,040 --> 00:11:42,860
Has she done it?
301
00:11:42,880 --> 00:11:46,456
Has she created the perfect wreath?
302
00:11:46,460 --> 00:11:47,958
- Oh, I got it!
- [glue gun hisses]
303
00:11:47,960 --> 00:11:49,209
My crafting hand!
304
00:11:49,210 --> 00:11:51,089
I figured out a way to make
Connor take his money back.
305
00:11:51,090 --> 00:11:52,939
You found out a way to
trick him into taking money
306
00:11:52,940 --> 00:11:54,506
- he does not want?
- Yeah,
307
00:11:54,510 --> 00:11:56,099
I secretly pay his phone
bill every month.
308
00:11:56,100 --> 00:11:59,980
That way after, you
know, 14 to 16 years,
309
00:12:00,000 --> 00:12:01,888
boom, debt's paid off. Genius, right?
310
00:12:02,820 --> 00:12:04,860
Or we keep the money
311
00:12:04,880 --> 00:12:07,160
and we accept Connor's generosity
312
00:12:07,180 --> 00:12:09,980
as an expression of brotherly love.
313
00:12:09,990 --> 00:12:11,140
- Love?
- Yeah.
314
00:12:11,170 --> 00:12:12,643
Come on, this is not love.
315
00:12:12,650 --> 00:12:14,319
Connor never even thought
I could pay him back.
316
00:12:14,320 --> 00:12:17,240
He just sees me as some kind of...
317
00:12:17,260 --> 00:12:19,860
I don't know. Failure that
can't make it on his own.
318
00:12:19,870 --> 00:12:23,034
You got all that from "Keep
the money, merry Christmas"?
319
00:12:24,370 --> 00:12:27,499
All right, I'm sorry, mi
amor. I get it. I get it.
320
00:12:27,500 --> 00:12:30,667
Nobody wants to be treated
like a charity case.
321
00:12:32,220 --> 00:12:34,963
Do you want to help me finish my wreath?
322
00:12:35,840 --> 00:12:38,000
It'll make you feel better.
323
00:12:38,020 --> 00:12:39,426
Eh, I guess.
324
00:12:41,280 --> 00:12:43,930
Crypto! I could secretly
pay him back with crypto.
325
00:12:43,940 --> 00:12:46,140
But what is crypto? Maybe I
can find it on the dark web.
326
00:12:46,160 --> 00:12:47,500
But what is the dark web?
327
00:12:47,520 --> 00:12:49,860
- So we wanna... Yep.
- Okay. Officially off wreath duty.
328
00:12:49,880 --> 00:12:51,290
I'm gonna go research this.
329
00:12:51,300 --> 00:12:53,815
?
330
00:12:53,820 --> 00:12:55,317
You sure you don't want one?
331
00:12:55,320 --> 00:12:57,320
Lupe makes a mean PB&J.
332
00:12:57,340 --> 00:12:59,640
In hers, the J stands for jelly beans.
333
00:12:59,660 --> 00:13:01,906
Nah, I'm good. I'm just here to pick
up Shamiah's gingerbread house.
334
00:13:01,907 --> 00:13:04,284
Hey, sorry I couldn't be
more help at the mall.
335
00:13:04,290 --> 00:13:06,440
- Figure anything out?
- No.
336
00:13:06,460 --> 00:13:10,920
Denise is like a pistachio,
impossible to crack.
337
00:13:10,940 --> 00:13:13,740
Yeah, it is not easy being her sister.
338
00:13:13,760 --> 00:13:16,540
She's always like,
"JoJo, knowing the lyrics
339
00:13:16,560 --> 00:13:17,660
"to every Rihanna song
340
00:13:17,680 --> 00:13:19,716
is not a skill you put on your r�sum�."
341
00:13:19,720 --> 00:13:21,480
Sounds like Sarah. She's always like,
342
00:13:21,500 --> 00:13:24,012
"Connor, you shouldn't be
paying less in taxes than me."
343
00:13:24,020 --> 00:13:25,520
Ugh, big sisters.
344
00:13:25,540 --> 00:13:27,080
Always looking down on us.
345
00:13:27,100 --> 00:13:29,100
I mean, who could measure up to Denise?
346
00:13:29,110 --> 00:13:31,330
She is a teacher at a crumbling school.
347
00:13:31,350 --> 00:13:32,470
She's vegan.
348
00:13:32,490 --> 00:13:34,090
She once fostered ducklings.
349
00:13:34,100 --> 00:13:36,024
There is such a thing as being too nice.
350
00:13:36,030 --> 00:13:38,068
Exactly.
351
00:13:38,070 --> 00:13:39,736
Wait, exactly.
352
00:13:39,740 --> 00:13:43,073
I think you might have just
given me the perfect gift idea.
353
00:13:43,080 --> 00:13:45,241
Well, I guess I helped after all.
354
00:13:45,250 --> 00:13:47,035
You're welcome.
355
00:13:47,994 --> 00:13:49,662
Extra payment.
356
00:13:52,170 --> 00:13:53,249
Mm.
357
00:13:53,250 --> 00:13:55,293
- It's an acquired taste.
- Mm-hmm.
358
00:13:55,300 --> 00:13:56,680
?
359
00:13:56,700 --> 00:13:58,546
Thank you so much for coming back.
360
00:13:58,550 --> 00:14:00,215
So we agree on a price?
361
00:14:00,220 --> 00:14:02,967
Yeah. Seems fair for a bag like this.
362
00:14:02,970 --> 00:14:05,160
I'm sorry. Uh, can I just ask.
363
00:14:05,180 --> 00:14:07,013
What will you be using this bag for?
364
00:14:07,880 --> 00:14:10,340
Uh, well, it's for my wife,
365
00:14:10,360 --> 00:14:13,519
so I assume she'd use it as a bag.
366
00:14:13,520 --> 00:14:14,530
Mm-hmm, mm-hmm, mm-hmm.
367
00:14:14,540 --> 00:14:16,062
And do you both work
outside of the home?
368
00:14:16,063 --> 00:14:17,679
Yeah, I'm a consultant
at a bank, and she's...
369
00:14:17,680 --> 00:14:19,780
Oh, so the bag would be
left alone during the day?
370
00:14:19,800 --> 00:14:21,940
- Okay.
- Or unattended in a hot car?
371
00:14:21,960 --> 00:14:24,114
Do you mind giving us
a moment of privacy?
372
00:14:24,780 --> 00:14:27,030
Uh, where?
373
00:14:27,040 --> 00:14:28,993
In the loft.
374
00:14:29,000 --> 00:14:30,573
- Go up there.
- Up.
375
00:14:30,580 --> 00:14:32,247
- Okay.
- Thank you.
376
00:14:33,500 --> 00:14:35,380
- What is going on?
- Nothing.
377
00:14:35,400 --> 00:14:37,583
These are standard questions
for a situation like this.
378
00:14:37,584 --> 00:14:39,754
We answered fewer questions
when we adopted our kids.
379
00:14:40,900 --> 00:14:42,500
I don't want to give up the bag.
380
00:14:42,510 --> 00:14:44,592
Yeah, that's clear.
You can just keep it.
381
00:14:44,600 --> 00:14:46,177
- Really?
- Wait, what?
382
00:14:46,180 --> 00:14:48,346
James, it's a private conversation.
383
00:14:48,350 --> 00:14:50,223
Okay.
384
00:14:50,230 --> 00:14:51,979
Sarah, I don't care about the bag.
385
00:14:51,980 --> 00:14:53,518
I just want you to be honest with me.
386
00:14:54,080 --> 00:14:55,480
I know that it's stupid,
387
00:14:55,500 --> 00:14:59,740
but, um, around all those
rich families at Windmount,
388
00:14:59,760 --> 00:15:01,980
I feel more broke than usual,
389
00:15:02,000 --> 00:15:05,420
so with this bag when
I'm out in the world
390
00:15:05,440 --> 00:15:07,350
and people are treating me differently,
391
00:15:07,360 --> 00:15:11,280
it just... it makes me feel special.
392
00:15:11,300 --> 00:15:15,540
Hey, we're allowed to be a
little shallow now and then.
393
00:15:15,560 --> 00:15:17,709
- You've seen my earring collection.
- Mm-hmm.
394
00:15:17,710 --> 00:15:19,060
But just so you know,
395
00:15:19,080 --> 00:15:20,837
I always think you're special...
396
00:15:20,840 --> 00:15:21,880
Oh.
397
00:15:21,890 --> 00:15:24,000
- With our without the bag.
- Oh.
398
00:15:24,010 --> 00:15:25,580
You know, it was fun while it lasted,
399
00:15:25,600 --> 00:15:28,170
- but, um, this bag is not me.
- So...
400
00:15:28,190 --> 00:15:29,900
Yes, James, you can come down now.
401
00:15:29,920 --> 00:15:32,682
- God, he's so whiny.
- Okay, that's what I thought.
402
00:15:34,360 --> 00:15:36,186
How many people live here?
403
00:15:36,190 --> 00:15:38,393
I swear to God, James, do not
make us change our minds.
404
00:15:38,394 --> 00:15:40,398
Here's the bag. She's all yours now.
405
00:15:40,400 --> 00:15:42,210
Thank you. I heard what you said,
406
00:15:42,220 --> 00:15:43,940
and I think my wife's gonna love this.
407
00:15:43,960 --> 00:15:45,445
She's very shallow.
408
00:15:46,100 --> 00:15:47,860
Great, well, treat her well.
409
00:15:49,330 --> 00:15:50,408
Your wife and the bag.
410
00:15:50,410 --> 00:15:51,703
?
411
00:15:51,710 --> 00:15:52,911
Connor!
412
00:15:52,920 --> 00:15:56,180
- Hey, hope this isn't a bad time.
- Yeah, no problem.
413
00:15:56,200 --> 00:15:57,990
I was just wrapping
some gifts for Gretchen.
414
00:15:58,000 --> 00:15:59,440
Oh.
415
00:16:00,690 --> 00:16:05,215
Oh, boy. So I try to not get
involved with brotherly issues.
416
00:16:05,220 --> 00:16:07,300
Mm-hmm.
417
00:16:07,310 --> 00:16:12,555
All right, let me... let me do that.
Let me... let me do that.
418
00:16:12,560 --> 00:16:15,350
Okay, here's the deal.
419
00:16:15,360 --> 00:16:17,560
Christmas, it's my happy time.
420
00:16:17,580 --> 00:16:20,740
When I was a kid, all my relatives,
they would visit from Mexico.
421
00:16:20,760 --> 00:16:23,100
Even my dad would take
time off to cook tamales.
422
00:16:23,120 --> 00:16:25,652
It was beautiful. Your fight with Tom,
423
00:16:25,660 --> 00:16:28,160
it's messing with my Christmas spirit.
424
00:16:28,180 --> 00:16:30,782
Is that what you want to do, Connor?
425
00:16:31,620 --> 00:16:33,740
Look, whatever's bothering Tom,
426
00:16:33,750 --> 00:16:35,036
that's on him, not me.
427
00:16:35,040 --> 00:16:37,040
This loan is about more than money...
428
00:16:37,050 --> 00:16:38,700
though we could use the money.
429
00:16:38,720 --> 00:16:41,251
Our washer/dryer neither
washes nor dries.
430
00:16:41,260 --> 00:16:42,739
It's about pride.
431
00:16:42,740 --> 00:16:45,100
He's hurt because he thinks
you don't believe in him.
432
00:16:45,120 --> 00:16:46,300
Of course I believe in him.
433
00:16:46,320 --> 00:16:48,150
I bought seven copies of his last book
434
00:16:48,170 --> 00:16:49,884
so I could keep 'em in all my bathrooms.
435
00:16:49,890 --> 00:16:51,279
Well, he doesn't see it that way.
436
00:16:51,280 --> 00:16:52,879
He thinks that, because
you refused the money,
437
00:16:52,880 --> 00:16:56,182
it's like you're saying that he'll
never make the money himself.
438
00:16:56,190 --> 00:16:57,760
Finger.
439
00:16:57,780 --> 00:16:59,280
I didn't know it was that deep.
440
00:16:59,290 --> 00:17:00,770
I was just trying to do a nice thing.
441
00:17:00,780 --> 00:17:03,160
Look, I get it. Can Tom
be a big sensitive?
442
00:17:03,180 --> 00:17:04,200
Sure.
443
00:17:04,220 --> 00:17:06,109
I mean, he tears up at ads for minivans,
444
00:17:06,110 --> 00:17:10,697
but maybe you're not
being sensitive enough.
445
00:17:10,700 --> 00:17:12,657
You carry pinecones around with you?
446
00:17:12,660 --> 00:17:15,159
In December? Of course I do.
447
00:17:15,170 --> 00:17:17,900
After all his hard work, he
was really looking forward
448
00:17:17,920 --> 00:17:21,374
to paying you back, but you
robbed him of that moment.
449
00:17:21,380 --> 00:17:23,513
[sighs]
450
00:17:23,520 --> 00:17:24,753
Done.
451
00:17:24,760 --> 00:17:26,440
[upbeat music]
452
00:17:26,460 --> 00:17:28,840
Wow, that last one, though,
is actually a tissue box.
453
00:17:28,850 --> 00:17:31,634
- I see a box, I wrap it.
- Hm.
454
00:17:31,640 --> 00:17:34,887
? Candles burning low ?
455
00:17:34,890 --> 00:17:37,599
- ? Lots of mistletoe ?
- [laughter]
456
00:17:37,600 --> 00:17:40,602
? Lots of snowy nights ?
457
00:17:40,610 --> 00:17:43,313
Okay, I am nogged.
458
00:17:43,320 --> 00:17:45,359
- Let's secret Santa.
- [sweater playing festive chiptune melody]
459
00:17:45,360 --> 00:17:47,358
Ooh, how many of those do you have?
460
00:17:47,360 --> 00:17:49,933
- A normal amount.
- Okay, I had Tom.
461
00:17:49,940 --> 00:17:52,322
Oh, all right. Let's see.
462
00:17:52,330 --> 00:17:55,100
- Oh, it's a journal.
- Oh, not just any journal.
463
00:17:55,120 --> 00:17:56,409
A recycling journal
464
00:17:56,410 --> 00:17:58,244
so you can log everything
that you recycle,
465
00:17:58,250 --> 00:18:00,288
and the journal itself is recyclable.
466
00:18:00,290 --> 00:18:03,240
Neat. I'll probably use
it for other things,
467
00:18:03,260 --> 00:18:05,501
- but thank you.
- Am I getting better at gifts?
468
00:18:05,510 --> 00:18:07,086
- You're definitely not getting worse.
- Okay.
469
00:18:07,087 --> 00:18:08,755
I had Marina.
470
00:18:08,760 --> 00:18:10,173
[gasps]
471
00:18:10,180 --> 00:18:13,540
The Miyoshi X37 with the
detachable base stand?
472
00:18:13,550 --> 00:18:14,594
Thank you.
473
00:18:14,600 --> 00:18:16,512
It's the exact model you requested.
474
00:18:16,520 --> 00:18:18,556
But I didn't know what color
you were gonna get me.
475
00:18:18,560 --> 00:18:21,930
- Sarah, I got you...
- Oh, oh, big.
476
00:18:21,940 --> 00:18:24,760
- Ooh.
- Okay.
477
00:18:24,780 --> 00:18:27,649
- Wait, is this...
- An Armendo knock-off.
478
00:18:28,220 --> 00:18:29,920
Thank you. How did you know?
479
00:18:29,940 --> 00:18:31,402
I may have mentioned something.
480
00:18:33,420 --> 00:18:34,840
[gasps]
481
00:18:34,860 --> 00:18:36,741
Oh, I love it.
482
00:18:37,280 --> 00:18:39,490
It's the only label I need.
483
00:18:40,380 --> 00:18:42,370
All right, my turn.
484
00:18:42,380 --> 00:18:43,956
- Oh, okay.
- Whoa.
485
00:18:43,960 --> 00:18:45,249
Thank you.
486
00:18:45,250 --> 00:18:46,751
- Wow, it's big.
- Yeah.
487
00:18:46,760 --> 00:18:47,919
It's empty.
488
00:18:47,920 --> 00:18:49,060
Yeah.
489
00:18:49,940 --> 00:18:51,220
I respected the limit.
490
00:18:51,240 --> 00:18:52,674
I didn't spend a dime on you.
491
00:18:53,380 --> 00:18:55,800
Okay, well, may have overcorrected.
492
00:18:55,810 --> 00:18:59,600
But completely separately and
unrelated to secret Santa,
493
00:18:59,620 --> 00:19:01,060
I paid the outstanding lunch debt
494
00:19:01,070 --> 00:19:03,851
- for every kid in your class.
- Connor, that's amazing.
495
00:19:03,860 --> 00:19:06,396
I just asked myself,
"What would Denise do?"
496
00:19:06,400 --> 00:19:07,855
Thank you.
497
00:19:07,860 --> 00:19:10,733
- That's really cool, man.
- Oh, that's really thoughtful.
498
00:19:10,740 --> 00:19:12,220
[relaxed jazz music]
499
00:19:12,240 --> 00:19:13,820
[laughs]
500
00:19:13,830 --> 00:19:17,115
- [camera shutter clicks]
- [laughs]
501
00:19:17,120 --> 00:19:19,840
Hey, man, I'm actually
your secret Santa,
502
00:19:19,860 --> 00:19:22,245
but I thought I would give
this to you in private.
503
00:19:22,250 --> 00:19:24,372
Oh.
504
00:19:25,630 --> 00:19:29,752
Wow, this is awesome. Thank you, man.
505
00:19:31,340 --> 00:19:32,790
And there's a check on the back.
506
00:19:32,800 --> 00:19:34,858
Yeah, I figured you'd
just tear it up again,
507
00:19:34,860 --> 00:19:36,759
but it was worth a shot.
508
00:19:36,760 --> 00:19:38,928
I'm actually not going to.
509
00:19:39,840 --> 00:19:41,090
You're not?
510
00:19:41,100 --> 00:19:43,180
It is money you owe me, right?
511
00:19:43,210 --> 00:19:44,892
I'm not a charity over here.
512
00:19:44,900 --> 00:19:47,120
[chuckles]
513
00:19:47,140 --> 00:19:51,357
Okay, wow, uh, that
actually means a lot.
514
00:19:51,360 --> 00:19:52,740
I'm proud of you, man,
515
00:19:52,760 --> 00:19:54,940
and I can't wait for your
novel about me to come out.
516
00:19:55,680 --> 00:19:57,600
Thank you. It's not about you.
517
00:19:57,620 --> 00:19:59,320
And I'm gonna use some of this money
518
00:19:59,340 --> 00:20:01,719
- to buy a new washer/dryer.
- No, come on, man.
519
00:20:01,720 --> 00:20:03,249
I told you I don't want
you to buy us anything.
520
00:20:03,250 --> 00:20:05,496
No, no, it's not for you. It's for me.
521
00:20:05,500 --> 00:20:07,623
Oh, okay.
522
00:20:07,630 --> 00:20:08,680
Now that that's settled,
523
00:20:08,700 --> 00:20:11,040
does anyone want a used washer/dryer?
524
00:20:11,060 --> 00:20:14,243
Mine's about three months
old, so it's gotta go!
525
00:20:14,250 --> 00:20:16,500
- Marina, washer/dryer?
- I'll take it!
526
00:20:16,520 --> 00:20:18,059
Come on, I can see
what you're doing, man.
527
00:20:18,060 --> 00:20:20,340
No, I'm buying myself a
new washer/dryer, okay?
528
00:20:20,360 --> 00:20:21,971
You can't tell me what to
do with my own money.
529
00:20:21,972 --> 00:20:24,300
- Just give me the check back.
- No.
530
00:20:24,320 --> 00:20:25,975
- Give it back to me.
- No, hey. No.
531
00:20:25,980 --> 00:20:27,393
If you're gonna spend the m...
532
00:20:27,400 --> 00:20:28,895
hey...
533
00:20:28,900 --> 00:20:30,510
?
534
00:20:33,160 --> 00:20:35,400
Bye, Uncle Connor. Love you, thanks.
535
00:20:35,410 --> 00:20:36,920
- Hey, JoJo, one sec.
- What's up?
536
00:20:36,940 --> 00:20:39,489
Just wanted to say thanks
for helping me out.
537
00:20:39,490 --> 00:20:41,300
Oh, no biggie.
538
00:20:41,320 --> 00:20:43,367
And as a token of my appreciation,
539
00:20:43,370 --> 00:20:45,661
I got you a little something.
540
00:20:46,320 --> 00:20:48,120
Cinnamon swirl.
541
00:20:48,140 --> 00:20:49,916
I did actually want that for myself.
542
00:20:49,920 --> 00:20:51,539
- Yeah, I could tell, you know?
- [chuckles]
543
00:20:51,540 --> 00:20:53,415
Might have been all you
talked about at lunch.
544
00:20:53,416 --> 00:20:55,978
- Mm.
- That and the mojito madness cheesecake.
545
00:20:55,980 --> 00:20:57,590
[laughs] It was good.
546
00:20:57,600 --> 00:20:59,050
It was pretty good.
547
00:20:59,060 --> 00:21:02,512
- [upbeat festive music]
- [chuckles]
548
00:21:02,520 --> 00:21:04,680
What? Oh.
549
00:21:04,690 --> 00:21:07,225
- Kelvin must have put that up.
- [chuckles]
550
00:21:07,230 --> 00:21:08,643
Guess we gotta kiss.
551
00:21:09,540 --> 00:21:11,510
- Those are the rules.
- Those are the rules.
552
00:21:11,520 --> 00:21:13,263
[laughs]
553
00:21:13,270 --> 00:21:15,942
[Darlene Love's "Christmas
(Baby Please Come Home)"]
554
00:21:15,950 --> 00:21:19,939
?
555
00:21:19,940 --> 00:21:24,180
? Christmas, the snow's coming down ?
556
00:21:24,210 --> 00:21:27,960
? Christmas, I'm watching it fall ?
557
00:21:27,980 --> 00:21:31,963
? Christmas, lots of people around ?
558
00:21:31,970 --> 00:21:35,500
? Christmas, baby, please come home ?
559
00:21:35,510 --> 00:21:38,700
? Christmas, the church bells... ?
560
00:21:38,750 --> 00:21:43,300
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