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1
00:00:09,634 --> 00:00:11,594
Jeremy, party of five!
That's us!
2
00:00:12,637 --> 00:00:15,473
Ooh, oh.
Ah! Excuse me.
3
00:00:16,808 --> 00:00:18,393
Whew.
4
00:00:18,476 --> 00:00:19,853
Remember when we
had to legally
5
00:00:19,936 --> 00:00:21,771
stand six feet apart
from one another?
6
00:00:21,855 --> 00:00:23,356
Yeah,
I miss it.
7
00:00:23,440 --> 00:00:24,816
Excuse us.
Oh, excuse us.
8
00:00:25,316 --> 00:00:26,651
Sorry.
9
00:00:26,735 --> 00:00:27,569
Carrie?
10
00:00:27,652 --> 00:00:29,696
Is that
Bitsy von Muffling?
11
00:00:29,779 --> 00:00:32,407
Carrie. Excuse me.
Yep, that's Bitsy.
12
00:00:32,490 --> 00:00:34,659
I can't believe it.
I cannot believe it.
13
00:00:34,743 --> 00:00:37,120
Oh, it's been forever.
14
00:00:37,203 --> 00:00:38,997
Do we hug
or bump elbows?
15
00:00:39,080 --> 00:00:40,915
Sign language,
smoke signals.
16
00:00:40,999 --> 00:00:41,750
Where are we these days?
17
00:00:41,833 --> 00:00:45,253
And, and where's
the fourth musketeer?
18
00:00:45,336 --> 00:00:46,504
Where's Samantha?
19
00:00:46,588 --> 00:00:49,340
Oh, um, she's
no longer with us.
20
00:00:50,508 --> 00:00:51,384
No, no, no, no.
She didn't die.
21
00:00:51,468 --> 00:00:54,262
Oh no! No, no.
I'm so sorry, no.
22
00:00:54,345 --> 00:00:55,847
I just meant
she's not with us.
23
00:00:55,930 --> 00:00:59,768
She's in London.
Oh, thank god.
24
00:00:59,851 --> 00:01:01,770
After the horror show
we've been through,
25
00:01:01,853 --> 00:01:03,438
I just assume
anyone I haven't seen
26
00:01:03,521 --> 00:01:04,272
in a while
has passed on,
27
00:01:04,355 --> 00:01:06,107
or... gave up
and moved to Palm Beach.
28
00:01:06,191 --> 00:01:10,320
No, she moved
to the U.K. for work.
Smart.
29
00:01:10,403 --> 00:01:14,115
Sexy sirens in their 60s
are still viable over there.
30
00:01:14,199 --> 00:01:17,869
Well, enjoy.
Bitsy, are you coming?
31
00:01:19,204 --> 00:01:21,581
Bye!
32
00:01:21,664 --> 00:01:24,292
Remember when we
couldn't air kiss
hello or goodbye?
33
00:01:24,375 --> 00:01:26,002
Yes, I miss it.
34
00:01:26,085 --> 00:01:27,003
Carrie, party of three!
35
00:01:27,086 --> 00:01:30,882
Yay! Yes, that's us. Yay.
Nice! Here we go.
36
00:01:30,965 --> 00:01:33,343
♪ ♪
37
00:01:37,263 --> 00:01:40,683
I stepped on a used condom
in Brady's room this morning.
38
00:01:40,767 --> 00:01:42,185
Eww--
Wait!
39
00:01:42,268 --> 00:01:44,145
I was barefoot at the time.
Okay now.
40
00:01:44,229 --> 00:01:48,274
Eww.
Ooh, does anyone wanna
split the croque madame?
41
00:01:48,358 --> 00:01:50,610
I will.
Did you hear
what I said?
42
00:01:50,693 --> 00:01:52,821
Mmhm.
Are we getting
fries with that?
43
00:01:52,904 --> 00:01:55,240
I stepped on my son's
semen before coffee.
44
00:01:55,323 --> 00:01:56,115
We are definitely
getting fries with that.
45
00:01:56,199 --> 00:01:59,786
Hmm.
This is totally
on Steve and me.
46
00:01:59,869 --> 00:02:02,163
We started letting
Luisa spend the night
because we like her,
47
00:02:02,247 --> 00:02:05,041
and now Brady's bedroom
floor is a minefield.
48
00:02:05,124 --> 00:02:07,252
Well, it's good
he's using protection.
49
00:02:07,335 --> 00:02:09,838
Now that is seeing
the condom as half full.
50
00:02:09,921 --> 00:02:10,922
When do you start school?
51
00:02:12,924 --> 00:02:14,926
What?
I changed the subject.
Life's too short.
52
00:02:15,009 --> 00:02:17,929
I'm starting with
spring semester next week.
53
00:02:18,012 --> 00:02:20,849
Wow.
Oh, really? Next week?
54
00:02:20,932 --> 00:02:23,268
Are you gonna,
you know--
55
00:02:23,351 --> 00:02:26,104
Go crazy?
Too late, already happened.
56
00:02:26,187 --> 00:02:27,272
No, color your hair.
57
00:02:27,355 --> 00:02:32,026
Now where is that darn
waitperson with the check?
58
00:02:32,110 --> 00:02:33,987
We haven't even ordered yet.
Oh, I know, but I want out now.
59
00:02:34,070 --> 00:02:35,905
I just think
the gray ages you.
60
00:02:35,989 --> 00:02:38,700
No, you think
the gray ages you
61
00:02:38,783 --> 00:02:40,201
because if we're friends,
and I am this age,
62
00:02:40,285 --> 00:02:43,037
you can't be whatever age
you're pretending to be.
63
00:02:43,121 --> 00:02:45,206
I am not pretending
to be any age.
64
00:02:45,290 --> 00:02:47,458
I am 55.
What? You want a medal?
65
00:02:47,542 --> 00:02:50,044
Yes. Yes, I do.
Can I get a medal?
66
00:02:50,128 --> 00:02:53,339
Yes, you can,
and when I turn
55 in 10 years,
67
00:02:53,423 --> 00:02:55,258
I would like
a medal as well.
68
00:02:55,341 --> 00:02:59,304
Thank you.
And... why are you
just going after me?
69
00:02:59,387 --> 00:03:00,805
Carrie dyes
her hair, too.
70
00:03:00,889 --> 00:03:03,224
Yeah, but hers is obvious.
You're trying to pass.
71
00:03:03,308 --> 00:03:05,018
Yeah, but obvious
in a good way, right?
72
00:03:05,101 --> 00:03:07,020
'Cause this kind of "obvious,"
it don't come cheap.
73
00:03:07,103 --> 00:03:09,063
You look great gray,
but I miss the red.
74
00:03:09,147 --> 00:03:12,233
And I just thought
it might be fun,
75
00:03:12,317 --> 00:03:13,693
you know, for
the start of school.
76
00:03:13,776 --> 00:03:15,862
Yeah, for all your
playdates and things.
77
00:03:15,945 --> 00:03:18,781
Charlotte, I'm getting
a Master's in Human Rights
78
00:03:18,865 --> 00:03:20,700
to pair with my law degree,
79
00:03:20,783 --> 00:03:24,412
so, hopefully,
I can become an advocate
for women who need one.
80
00:03:24,495 --> 00:03:28,374
I don't have to be
a spicy redhead to do that.
81
00:03:28,458 --> 00:03:31,377
I mean, we can't
just stay who we were.
82
00:03:31,461 --> 00:03:32,128
Right?
Absolutely.
83
00:03:32,211 --> 00:03:34,464
And there are more
important issues
84
00:03:34,547 --> 00:03:36,299
in the world than
trying to look young.
85
00:03:39,385 --> 00:03:41,679
Ruth Bader Ginsburg
dyed her hair.
86
00:03:41,763 --> 00:03:42,931
Mic drop.
87
00:03:44,724 --> 00:03:48,227
Wow, I've gotta get him.
88
00:03:48,311 --> 00:03:51,314
Do you see his hat?
Looks like a light fixture.
89
00:03:53,608 --> 00:03:55,443
For my Instagram.
90
00:03:55,526 --> 00:03:56,402
How's all that goin'?
91
00:03:56,486 --> 00:03:58,655
Uh, you know,
when I first
started doing it,
92
00:03:58,738 --> 00:04:00,865
it was really just for me,
you know, just for fun,
93
00:04:00,949 --> 00:04:03,785
posting strangers who
have interesting style,
94
00:04:03,868 --> 00:04:06,537
but now... that
I'm on that podcast,
95
00:04:06,621 --> 00:04:07,956
it's kind of
growing into a thing.
96
00:04:08,039 --> 00:04:09,123
Wow. Instagram, podcast.
97
00:04:09,207 --> 00:04:11,793
I guess you're passing
as younger, too.
98
00:04:11,876 --> 00:04:13,795
Still haven't listened
to it, have you?
99
00:04:13,878 --> 00:04:16,297
Carrie,
I love you to death,
100
00:04:16,381 --> 00:04:17,966
but I draw the line
at podcasts.
101
00:04:18,049 --> 00:04:22,595
I just ran into LTW
in the ladies' room.
102
00:04:22,679 --> 00:04:24,764
Great! I don't know
what that means.
103
00:04:24,847 --> 00:04:26,849
Lisa Todd Wexley.
104
00:04:26,933 --> 00:04:28,977
Everyone at school
calls her LTW.
105
00:04:29,060 --> 00:04:32,188
Now, is LTW a person,
106
00:04:32,271 --> 00:04:34,816
or a sorority you
hope to pledge.
I know, I know.
107
00:04:34,899 --> 00:04:37,777
I sound so silly,
but she's just so cool.
108
00:04:37,860 --> 00:04:41,447
She is a documentarian,
and a humanitarian.
109
00:04:41,531 --> 00:04:45,284
And her husband, Herbert,
is an investment banker
who might run for mayor.
110
00:04:45,368 --> 00:04:48,663
And she's on
the International "Vogue"
BestDressed List.
111
00:04:48,746 --> 00:04:50,373
Wow, I think I need a nap.
112
00:04:50,456 --> 00:04:51,582
We are on the parent
school board together,
113
00:04:51,666 --> 00:04:54,669
so, this year, we've
been getting to know
each other better
114
00:04:54,752 --> 00:04:56,546
'cause she signed
her son, Henry, up
115
00:04:56,629 --> 00:05:00,383
to study with the same
piano teacher that
Lily studies with.
116
00:05:00,466 --> 00:05:02,010
Oh, which reminds me--
To breathe?
117
00:05:02,093 --> 00:05:04,929
You haven't RSVP'd yet
for Lily's piano recital.
118
00:05:05,013 --> 00:05:08,016
Oh, I know.
I'm sorry, sweetie.
I can't go.
119
00:05:08,099 --> 00:05:08,933
Big and I are driving
out east on Wednesday.
120
00:05:09,017 --> 00:05:11,060
Can't you drive out Friday?
121
00:05:11,144 --> 00:05:12,854
'Cause Lily has
been practicing
122
00:05:12,937 --> 00:05:14,522
for this night
every day for a year.
123
00:05:14,605 --> 00:05:17,817
Sweetie, I know,
but Big already
took time off.
124
00:05:17,900 --> 00:05:20,403
But you could
go to the Hamptons
with Big any time.
125
00:05:20,486 --> 00:05:23,948
And this concert
is at the Manhattan
School of Music.
126
00:05:24,032 --> 00:05:26,659
It's a very big deal.
127
00:05:26,743 --> 00:05:27,910
The Manhattan School
of Music, Carrie.
128
00:05:27,994 --> 00:05:31,289
The Manhattan
School of Music.
129
00:05:31,372 --> 00:05:32,290
I'm sorry, where is
the concert again?
130
00:05:34,292 --> 00:05:36,502
All right, I'll talk
to him. I will.
131
00:05:36,586 --> 00:05:38,421
Oh, hi!
I don't wanna interrupt.
132
00:05:38,504 --> 00:05:40,173
Oh, you're not interrupting!
Hi.
133
00:05:40,256 --> 00:05:42,967
These are my
very best friends,
Miranda and Carrie.
134
00:05:43,051 --> 00:05:44,218
Hi.
Hi, I'm Lisa.
135
00:05:44,302 --> 00:05:45,386
Charlotte has told me
so much about you both.
136
00:05:45,470 --> 00:05:48,347
Well, we just got
the crash course
on you, too.
137
00:05:48,431 --> 00:05:49,474
Oh no.
138
00:05:49,557 --> 00:05:53,061
That's a great bracelet.
It's interesting, right?
139
00:05:53,144 --> 00:05:55,063
It's this 20yearold out
of Jackson, Mississippi,
I came across online.
140
00:05:55,146 --> 00:05:56,314
She's amazing.
Oh, that's great.
141
00:05:56,397 --> 00:05:59,067
Oh my god.
Who ordered
the French fries?
142
00:05:59,150 --> 00:06:02,236
I'd have to know you
a lot longer before
I confessed that.
143
00:06:02,320 --> 00:06:03,571
Can I have one?
Sure, they're cold.
144
00:06:03,654 --> 00:06:06,407
But they're still
greasy, right?
145
00:06:06,491 --> 00:06:07,992
So bad, they're good.
Ooh, yikes, I'm gonna be late.
146
00:06:08,076 --> 00:06:10,787
I have to go
do a podcast.
147
00:06:10,870 --> 00:06:14,207
They're like jury duty now.
Yeah, I should go, too.
148
00:06:14,290 --> 00:06:15,958
Um, it was
really, really
nice to meet you.
149
00:06:16,042 --> 00:06:20,254
Any friend of French fries
is a friend of mine.
Hope to see you again.
150
00:06:20,338 --> 00:06:22,298
Yeah, same here.
151
00:06:22,381 --> 00:06:24,550
Sit!
What did you get at Oscar?
152
00:06:24,634 --> 00:06:26,636
Show me.
Oh, it's for the girls.
153
00:06:27,470 --> 00:06:30,389
Tada!
It's gorg.
154
00:06:30,473 --> 00:06:32,016
I just wanted them to have
something so special
155
00:06:32,100 --> 00:06:34,477
for Lily's big night.
156
00:06:34,560 --> 00:06:35,311
Henry is gonna
bomb this recital.
157
00:06:35,394 --> 00:06:36,771
Oh, no, he won't.
It's my fault.
158
00:06:36,854 --> 00:06:38,773
I started him too late.
159
00:06:38,856 --> 00:06:39,607
I have to force
him to practice.
160
00:06:39,690 --> 00:06:41,734
I literally have
to pry his fingers
161
00:06:41,818 --> 00:06:44,278
off the PlayStation,
and put them on the keyboard.
162
00:06:44,362 --> 00:06:46,155
Well, you know what?
He's a beginner.
163
00:06:46,239 --> 00:06:49,117
People will understand.
People might, but my
motherinlaw won't.
164
00:06:49,200 --> 00:06:51,119
She's a worldrenowned
concert pianist,
165
00:06:51,202 --> 00:06:53,955
and an even more
accomplished
pain in my ass.
166
00:06:54,038 --> 00:06:56,165
Oh, my friends are waiting.
I'll call you later.
167
00:06:56,249 --> 00:06:57,792
Bye.
Bye! I'll talk to you soon.
168
00:06:57,875 --> 00:06:59,460
Yes! Bye.
169
00:06:59,544 --> 00:07:01,129
Don't stress if you
can't make the recital.
170
00:07:01,212 --> 00:07:04,799
Her piano teacher
rents that venue.
171
00:07:04,882 --> 00:07:06,634
It's the Park Avenue
equivalent of
172
00:07:06,717 --> 00:07:07,510
"every kid
gets a trophy."
173
00:07:08,970 --> 00:07:11,347
Still, I should go.
174
00:07:11,430 --> 00:07:14,725
Charlotte's
an amazingly
supportive friend.
175
00:07:14,809 --> 00:07:17,603
She listens to the podcast.
176
00:07:20,982 --> 00:07:23,025
You know,
it is kinda like
she's dead...
177
00:07:23,109 --> 00:07:24,110
Samantha.
178
00:07:24,193 --> 00:07:25,736
We never even
talk about her.
179
00:07:27,864 --> 00:07:28,531
Well, what is
there to say?
180
00:07:31,242 --> 00:07:32,827
I told her that
because of, you know,
181
00:07:32,910 --> 00:07:33,661
what the book
business is now,
182
00:07:33,744 --> 00:07:36,539
it just didn't make
sense for me to...
183
00:07:36,622 --> 00:07:38,541
keep her on
as a publicist.
She said, "Fine,"
184
00:07:38,624 --> 00:07:41,919
and then fired me as a friend.
She didn't fire you.
185
00:07:42,003 --> 00:07:43,796
Okay, she stopped
returning my calls.
186
00:07:43,880 --> 00:07:45,506
You know Samantha.
187
00:07:45,590 --> 00:07:47,592
Her pride got damaged.
Which was why I kept
188
00:07:47,675 --> 00:07:51,179
leaving her voicemails,
asking her to please
call me back,
189
00:07:51,262 --> 00:07:52,471
so we could talk
about this and fix it.
190
00:07:55,725 --> 00:07:57,768
Look, I understand
that she was upset,
191
00:07:57,852 --> 00:07:59,896
but I thought
I was more to her
than an ATM.
192
00:07:59,979 --> 00:08:02,231
You are.
193
00:08:02,315 --> 00:08:06,569
She was embarrassed.
So embarrassed she took a job
and moved to London?
194
00:08:06,652 --> 00:08:08,029
Wait, have you
spoken to her?
195
00:08:08,112 --> 00:08:11,908
No, neither
has Charlotte.
196
00:08:11,991 --> 00:08:14,619
I mean,
we texted and called,
but we never heard back.
197
00:08:16,495 --> 00:08:20,208
Do you think, maybe, if you--
I did. Multiple texts.
198
00:08:20,291 --> 00:08:22,376
And nothing.
Okay.
199
00:08:22,460 --> 00:08:25,963
Well, then I guess
that's all we can,
you know, do.
200
00:08:26,047 --> 00:08:28,382
So weird.
I know.
201
00:08:29,967 --> 00:08:31,469
I always thought
the four of us would
be friends forever.
202
00:08:34,764 --> 00:08:36,849
Anyway, up I go.
Okay.
203
00:08:36,933 --> 00:08:38,601
Okay, thanks for walking me.
Sure.
204
00:08:40,811 --> 00:08:43,731
Hey, Carrie...
My hair?
205
00:08:43,814 --> 00:08:45,233
Fabulous.
206
00:08:46,817 --> 00:08:48,611
♪ ♪
207
00:08:57,620 --> 00:08:58,829
Hi, everyone.
208
00:09:01,082 --> 00:09:03,793
That's it? That's all
the greeting I get
after I rescued you?
209
00:09:03,876 --> 00:09:07,797
Are you talking to me or Burton?
'Cause you rescued me, too.
210
00:09:07,880 --> 00:09:10,258
Lily, that is
a terrible thing to say.
211
00:09:10,341 --> 00:09:13,094
I know.
That's why I said it.
212
00:09:13,177 --> 00:09:14,929
Well, never say it again,
213
00:09:15,012 --> 00:09:17,431
and, for the record,
you rescued me.
214
00:09:17,515 --> 00:09:19,475
Mwah!
215
00:09:19,558 --> 00:09:21,477
Please love me.
Mom, don't be so needy.
216
00:09:21,560 --> 00:09:26,023
I am not being needy.
He's withholding.
217
00:09:26,107 --> 00:09:27,650
Do you wanna see your dress?
Mmhm.
218
00:09:28,818 --> 00:09:30,736
Do you wanna see
the dress, Richard Burton?
219
00:09:30,820 --> 00:09:31,570
Do you wanna
see the dress, hm?
220
00:09:34,657 --> 00:09:36,701
Dadadada!
221
00:09:36,784 --> 00:09:38,619
So pretty!
I love it.
222
00:09:38,703 --> 00:09:40,579
And what's in
the other bag?
223
00:09:40,663 --> 00:09:42,248
A dress for Rose,
of course.
224
00:09:46,377 --> 00:09:49,088
We are here!
Hit it, kiddo. Hit it hard.
225
00:09:50,631 --> 00:09:52,717
Ooh, nicely done.
226
00:09:53,676 --> 00:09:57,138
Okay, go for it, Dad.
227
00:09:57,221 --> 00:10:00,683
Harry, you better
not have your hands
on those walls again!
228
00:10:00,766 --> 00:10:01,559
I don't!
229
00:10:03,311 --> 00:10:04,770
Much...
230
00:10:04,854 --> 00:10:06,147
Just once or twice.
231
00:10:06,230 --> 00:10:09,150
I'm gettin' really good, babe.
You are ridiculous.
232
00:10:09,233 --> 00:10:12,028
But it keeps you guessin'.
Yes.
233
00:10:12,111 --> 00:10:15,114
Rose, honey, let me show
you the dress I got you
for Lily's concert.
234
00:10:15,197 --> 00:10:16,032
I am gettin' there.
235
00:10:16,115 --> 00:10:19,285
Uhhuh, yeah, yeah.
236
00:10:19,368 --> 00:10:21,037
Isn't it pretty?
Ooh.
237
00:10:21,120 --> 00:10:22,705
Okay... define pretty.
238
00:10:28,002 --> 00:10:31,047
Uh, Dad?
What?
239
00:10:31,130 --> 00:10:33,883
Bike helmet not
a good look on
a 58 year old Jew?
240
00:10:43,100 --> 00:10:46,437
Oh, honey, I'm home!
Hey, kid.
241
00:10:47,229 --> 00:10:47,521
Let the wine begin.
242
00:10:49,940 --> 00:10:52,610
♪ ♪
243
00:10:55,488 --> 00:10:56,447
Mmm.
244
00:10:58,616 --> 00:11:01,035
Is that supposed
to make me forget that
you're a halfhour late?
245
00:11:01,118 --> 00:11:02,411
Did it?
Oh yeah.
246
00:11:02,495 --> 00:11:05,373
Then my work
here is done.
247
00:11:08,292 --> 00:11:09,460
How was your day?
248
00:11:09,543 --> 00:11:13,506
Perfect.
The Dow and the Mets both up.
249
00:11:13,589 --> 00:11:15,424
Very nice.
250
00:11:15,508 --> 00:11:18,719
Hey... that shady fish guy
251
00:11:18,803 --> 00:11:20,471
tried to slip me some
lowrent salmon again.
252
00:11:20,554 --> 00:11:23,140
I said, "At these prices?"
Oh, no, sir.
253
00:11:23,224 --> 00:11:25,518
No, no, no, no, no.
254
00:11:25,601 --> 00:11:27,978
That is not
the Copper River
sockeye salmon.
255
00:11:31,732 --> 00:11:34,568
What?
I'm just wondering who
this person is I'm looking at
256
00:11:34,652 --> 00:11:36,570
because I remember
when you kept
257
00:11:36,654 --> 00:11:37,405
your sweaters
in the stove.
258
00:11:37,488 --> 00:11:40,241
I remember when
your hair was black.
259
00:11:40,324 --> 00:11:41,659
Oh, that's really
uncalled for.
260
00:11:41,742 --> 00:11:45,788
Totally uncalled for.
You wanna go there, huh?
261
00:11:47,164 --> 00:11:48,457
'Cause I can go there.
262
00:11:48,541 --> 00:11:50,584
Well why don't you
stop going there,
263
00:11:50,668 --> 00:11:53,254
and go there, and put on
the album du jour.
264
00:11:53,337 --> 00:11:54,130
Okay, Mr. Big.
265
00:11:54,213 --> 00:11:56,715
What letter we up to?
266
00:11:56,799 --> 00:11:58,592
"R," last night
was Ronstadt.
267
00:11:58,676 --> 00:12:02,430
That's right.
Yep, Ronstadt.
Here we are.
268
00:12:02,513 --> 00:12:05,433
So, tonight is
Todd Rundgren.
269
00:12:05,516 --> 00:12:08,519
Oh, that's my favorite
fucking album.
Fucking album.
270
00:12:08,602 --> 00:12:10,146
You know, you've
said that about
271
00:12:10,229 --> 00:12:12,064
pretty much every
album since we started
272
00:12:12,148 --> 00:12:13,441
this little dinner
ritual waaay back
273
00:12:13,524 --> 00:12:16,068
on day three
of the lockdown.
274
00:12:16,152 --> 00:12:19,155
What's your point?
My point is...
275
00:12:19,238 --> 00:12:22,199
You got a lot of favorites.
Yes, I do.
276
00:12:26,203 --> 00:12:27,413
But this guy--
277
00:12:28,539 --> 00:12:34,587
This guy
and this song...
this song.
278
00:12:34,670 --> 00:12:36,839
♪ Hello it's me ♪
279
00:12:39,758 --> 00:12:45,264
♪ I've thought about us
for a long, long time ♪
280
00:12:45,347 --> 00:12:48,642
♪ Maybe I think too much
but something's wrong ♪
281
00:12:50,769 --> 00:12:56,025
♪ There's something here
doesn't last too long ♪
282
00:12:56,108 --> 00:12:59,487
♪ Maybe I shouldn't
think of you as mine ♪
283
00:12:59,570 --> 00:13:03,073
Oh, I'm yours,
and I'm hungry.
284
00:13:03,157 --> 00:13:04,283
Okay, what do I do to help?
285
00:13:04,366 --> 00:13:07,536
Salt the fish, please.
'Kay.
286
00:13:07,620 --> 00:13:09,330
♪ Seeing you ♪
287
00:13:09,413 --> 00:13:10,915
Hey, can we wait to drive out
288
00:13:10,998 --> 00:13:13,876
to the Hamptons 'til Friday?
♪ Or seeing anything ♪
289
00:13:13,959 --> 00:13:16,128
Charlotte really
wants me to go to
290
00:13:16,212 --> 00:13:18,964
Lily's recital
on Thursday.
291
00:13:19,048 --> 00:13:22,510
Thank you.
Do you wanna
come with me?
292
00:13:24,678 --> 00:13:26,514
Didn't think so.
293
00:13:26,597 --> 00:13:28,182
Well, what are you
gonna do that night?
294
00:13:28,265 --> 00:13:30,267
Oh, don't worry about me.
295
00:13:30,351 --> 00:13:34,355
I'll be spending the night
at home... with Allegra.
296
00:13:34,438 --> 00:13:36,649
Oh, her again?
297
00:13:36,732 --> 00:13:39,985
Yes, jealous?
298
00:13:40,069 --> 00:13:40,486
That's enough salt.
299
00:13:40,569 --> 00:13:43,364
Yeah, I'm jealous.
300
00:13:43,447 --> 00:13:46,242
I'm jealous of your
Peloton instructor.
301
00:13:46,325 --> 00:13:48,160
Well, you should be.
302
00:13:48,244 --> 00:13:50,204
You know she's
from Barcelona?
303
00:13:50,287 --> 00:13:52,289
She motivates me.
304
00:13:52,373 --> 00:13:54,833
And she's giving me
a special shoutout
305
00:13:54,917 --> 00:13:56,168
on my thousandth ride.
306
00:13:56,252 --> 00:13:59,171
Aw, you love
shoutouts.
307
00:13:59,255 --> 00:14:02,383
♪ Think of me ♪
308
00:14:04,552 --> 00:14:09,890
♪ You know that I'd be
with you if I could ♪
309
00:14:09,974 --> 00:14:12,851
♪ I'll come around ♪
♪ 'Round to see you
once in a while ♪
310
00:14:15,479 --> 00:14:20,734
♪ Or if you ever need
a reason to smile ♪
311
00:14:20,818 --> 00:14:25,072
♪ And spend the night
if you think I should ♪
312
00:14:25,155 --> 00:14:26,407
Pepper.
313
00:14:31,370 --> 00:14:33,414
♪ ♪
314
00:14:40,170 --> 00:14:41,964
Oh.
315
00:14:52,182 --> 00:14:54,393
♪ ♪
316
00:15:06,030 --> 00:15:07,740
Hi.
317
00:15:07,823 --> 00:15:08,532
Could I get a glass
of Chablis, please?
318
00:15:08,616 --> 00:15:10,868
Oh, we don't
open 'til 11.
319
00:15:12,661 --> 00:15:15,039
It's 11:00 somewhere.
Sorry, ma'am.
320
00:15:17,499 --> 00:15:20,669
Okay, I'll wait.
321
00:15:49,031 --> 00:15:53,327
Hey, that's where
the professor sits.
Oh, sorry.
322
00:15:55,537 --> 00:15:56,747
Thanks.
323
00:15:58,290 --> 00:15:59,124
Thank you.
324
00:16:04,254 --> 00:16:05,339
Oh, hey, hey, hey.
325
00:16:06,173 --> 00:16:07,883
That's where
the professor sits.
326
00:16:08,759 --> 00:16:10,219
Uh, sorry,
he just told me.
327
00:16:10,302 --> 00:16:12,680
Someone's quick
with the pronouns.
Uh, it's fine.
328
00:16:13,263 --> 00:16:14,848
I am the professor.
329
00:16:14,932 --> 00:16:18,477
Wa-YYou're the professor?
Yeah.
330
00:16:18,560 --> 00:16:20,688
You're Nya Wallace?
Yes.
331
00:16:20,771 --> 00:16:22,356
Why do you seem
so surprised?
332
00:16:22,439 --> 00:16:24,692
Well, your braids.
333
00:16:24,775 --> 00:16:26,402
A law professor can't
have hair like mine?
334
00:16:26,485 --> 00:16:29,530
Why is that?
Oh, no, no, no.
I didn't, I didn't mean
335
00:16:29,613 --> 00:16:31,240
because of the braids.
I was, I was--
336
00:16:31,323 --> 00:16:34,118
I, I was just thrown
because the braids
337
00:16:34,201 --> 00:16:36,787
are, are so different than
the hair in your photo
338
00:16:36,870 --> 00:16:38,372
on the Columbia website.
339
00:16:38,455 --> 00:16:39,873
My comment had
nothing whatsoever
340
00:16:39,957 --> 00:16:40,708
to do with it being
a Black hairstyle.
341
00:16:40,791 --> 00:16:42,543
I, I knew that
you were Black
342
00:16:42,626 --> 00:16:44,211
when I signed up
for this class.
343
00:16:44,294 --> 00:16:44,920
Uh, that was
important to me.
344
00:16:47,798 --> 00:16:49,842
You signed up for this class
because I'm Black?
345
00:16:49,925 --> 00:16:52,302
Well, not just
because you're Black.
346
00:16:52,386 --> 00:16:54,221
I picked this class
because...
347
00:16:54,304 --> 00:16:55,264
you're such a force
in academia
348
00:16:55,347 --> 00:16:58,892
on top of everything you do
as a community activist.
349
00:16:58,976 --> 00:17:00,394
God, I sound like
such a brownnose.
350
00:17:00,477 --> 00:17:02,479
I mean, um...
351
00:17:02,563 --> 00:17:05,232
please just forget
352
00:17:05,315 --> 00:17:07,818
that I ever said
anything about your hair.
353
00:17:07,901 --> 00:17:10,738
Hair has...
nothing whatsoever
354
00:17:10,821 --> 00:17:12,781
to do with, uh,
appropriateness,
355
00:17:12,865 --> 00:17:15,492
or intelligence,
or gravitas, obviously.
356
00:17:15,576 --> 00:17:16,577
I mean, do I look like
someone who attaches
357
00:17:16,660 --> 00:17:18,245
any significance to hair?
358
00:17:18,328 --> 00:17:22,499
I, I let mine go gray,
and I don't care if it
makes me look old.
359
00:17:22,583 --> 00:17:25,419
Not that I'm ageist.
Do I sound ageist?
360
00:17:25,502 --> 00:17:27,337
You really want me
to answer that question?
361
00:17:28,672 --> 00:17:30,799
I am so sorry for
taking everyone's time.
362
00:17:30,883 --> 00:17:31,717
This is not
at all who I am.
363
00:17:31,800 --> 00:17:33,302
I will just be quiet now.
364
00:17:33,385 --> 00:17:34,928
Okay, uh...
365
00:17:35,012 --> 00:17:38,766
Hi, hi, hello, everyone.
366
00:17:38,849 --> 00:17:40,684
Welcome to
Policies and Principles
of Humanitarian Law.
367
00:17:40,768 --> 00:17:43,061
I am Professor
Nya Wallace,
368
00:17:43,145 --> 00:17:44,938
and before we
delve into this
369
00:17:45,022 --> 00:17:45,647
complicated
and important work,
370
00:17:45,731 --> 00:17:48,108
I just want to clear up
371
00:17:48,192 --> 00:17:50,944
that on the Columbia
University website,
372
00:17:51,028 --> 00:17:54,114
I am rockin' a short
Halle Berry, right?
373
00:17:54,198 --> 00:17:58,577
This is "X, Y, and Me,"
the podcast that talks about
374
00:17:58,660 --> 00:18:01,288
gender roles, sexual roles,
and... cinnamon rolls.
375
00:18:01,371 --> 00:18:04,917
All the roles I care
passionately about.
376
00:18:05,000 --> 00:18:06,794
Representing
the cisgender
women is...
377
00:18:06,877 --> 00:18:07,586
Carrie Bradshaw.
378
00:18:07,669 --> 00:18:09,797
Hey, hey.
Hey, Ms. Cis.
379
00:18:09,880 --> 00:18:13,008
And representing
the cishet men is...
380
00:18:13,091 --> 00:18:15,093
the dude himself,
Jackie Nee.
381
00:18:15,177 --> 00:18:18,430
What up, sistabrotha?
382
00:18:18,514 --> 00:18:19,681
That's right because
I'm both and neither.
383
00:18:19,765 --> 00:18:23,310
I am Che Diaz, your host.
384
00:18:23,393 --> 00:18:25,312
And queer, nonbinary,
Mexican, Irish diva
385
00:18:25,395 --> 00:18:28,690
representing everyone
else outside these
two boring genders.
386
00:18:28,774 --> 00:18:30,317
Soundboard:
Woke moment!
387
00:18:30,400 --> 00:18:31,693
And yes, I know
that no one person
388
00:18:31,777 --> 00:18:33,654
can represent all the genders,
389
00:18:33,737 --> 00:18:34,947
and sexual orientations,
390
00:18:35,030 --> 00:18:38,450
or an entire race,
and I, I fully acknowledge
391
00:18:38,534 --> 00:18:41,286
that we are complicated,
diverse beings
392
00:18:41,370 --> 00:18:42,204
here on this wondrous planet
393
00:18:42,287 --> 00:18:45,415
all just striving to be
our very best self.
394
00:18:45,499 --> 00:18:48,168
Many of us just
tryin' to get laid.
395
00:18:48,252 --> 00:18:48,919
Or at least that's what
we talk about on my show,
396
00:18:49,002 --> 00:18:51,088
so let's figure
some shit out.
397
00:18:51,171 --> 00:18:52,631
Who's got what?
I'll go.
398
00:18:52,714 --> 00:18:53,715
Oh, okay.
Hi, Carrie.
399
00:18:53,799 --> 00:18:54,967
Hello.
I have a question
400
00:18:55,050 --> 00:18:56,176
for you about women.
401
00:18:56,260 --> 00:18:57,719
What is it, Jackie?
402
00:18:57,803 --> 00:19:01,014
Why don't you see women
jerkin' it on the subway?
403
00:19:01,098 --> 00:19:03,559
I'm hoping that's
a multiple choice question.
404
00:19:03,642 --> 00:19:06,687
Yeah, good one, Jackie.
I was worried you were gonna
ask something sophomoric,
405
00:19:06,770 --> 00:19:07,896
like, "What can I,
as a straight cis male,
406
00:19:07,980 --> 00:19:10,190
"personally do to eradicate
the harmful patriarchal system
407
00:19:10,274 --> 00:19:13,861
of the gender binary,
and compulsory heterosexuality?"
408
00:19:13,944 --> 00:19:16,780
No, but for serious, I see
dudes masturbating everywhere.
409
00:19:16,864 --> 00:19:19,241
I saw a guy jerkin' off
on the J train today.
410
00:19:19,324 --> 00:19:20,033
I guess that's what
the "J" stands for.
411
00:19:20,117 --> 00:19:23,203
And the "A" train
stands for anal.
412
00:19:23,287 --> 00:19:24,705
Oh, that must be
why I don't ride it.
413
00:19:24,788 --> 00:19:27,332
Woke moment!
414
00:19:27,416 --> 00:19:29,042
Sexual expression
of any kind should
415
00:19:29,126 --> 00:19:29,751
always be discussed
and consented to
416
00:19:29,835 --> 00:19:31,879
by all parties
involved.
417
00:19:31,962 --> 00:19:33,589
Unless it's just you
and your sex toys.
418
00:19:33,672 --> 00:19:35,424
Then, go ahead!
419
00:19:35,507 --> 00:19:37,050
Surprise yourself.
420
00:19:37,134 --> 00:19:39,761
All right, let's, uh,
move off the prototypes,
421
00:19:39,845 --> 00:19:42,222
and into the personal.
Jackie--
422
00:19:42,306 --> 00:19:44,641
Yeah.
Have you ever masturbated
out in pub--
423
00:19:44,725 --> 00:19:46,393
Nah, you know what?
Let's just speed this along.
424
00:19:46,476 --> 00:19:49,396
Is there any public place
where you haven't masturbated?
425
00:19:49,479 --> 00:19:53,525
Uh... nah.
426
00:19:53,609 --> 00:19:54,818
I like to masturbate
at Yankee Stadium.
427
00:19:54,902 --> 00:19:56,737
Well, my version
of masturbation.
428
00:19:56,820 --> 00:19:58,196
I, uh, I wear a Yankees cap,
429
00:19:58,280 --> 00:20:01,825
and I just, uh, I sit
there sippin' a beer,
430
00:20:01,909 --> 00:20:03,076
and...
431
00:20:03,160 --> 00:20:04,703
I really get off
on watching
432
00:20:04,786 --> 00:20:06,705
the bros try
to figure out
what I am.
433
00:20:06,788 --> 00:20:09,207
And it's not just the dudes.
It's also the ladies.
434
00:20:09,291 --> 00:20:11,627
I'm an equal
opportunity confuser.
435
00:20:11,710 --> 00:20:13,211
What about you, Carrie?
Oh, me? What? What? What?
436
00:20:13,295 --> 00:20:16,715
Oh. What about,
What about me?
Oh, oh, oh--
437
00:20:16,798 --> 00:20:19,885
Oh, are you ask--
You're asking me about,
about masturbation?
438
00:20:19,968 --> 00:20:22,804
Yes, I'm, I'm asking
you about masturbation.
439
00:20:22,888 --> 00:20:24,139
Particularly you.
Do you masturbate?
440
00:20:24,222 --> 00:20:27,726
Uh, I would like
to buy a vowel, please.
441
00:20:31,021 --> 00:20:33,607
Sorry, I don't--
I don't know
what that means.
442
00:20:33,690 --> 00:20:35,817
Um, okay, yes, sorry.
443
00:20:35,901 --> 00:20:37,903
Let's see. Ooh, yes.
I'm here, okay.
444
00:20:38,528 --> 00:20:41,281
Yes, go. I'm here. Yes.
445
00:20:41,365 --> 00:20:43,116
Um... have you
ever masturbated
in a public place?
446
00:20:43,200 --> 00:20:46,995
Uh, well, uh, not
since Barneys closed.
447
00:20:47,079 --> 00:20:48,872
Hmm.
Uh, what's Barneys?
448
00:20:48,956 --> 00:20:52,459
Okay, now that's offensive.
449
00:20:56,546 --> 00:20:58,674
What are we thinkin'
time framewise about
our next IVF round?
450
00:20:58,757 --> 00:21:01,259
I don't know, Andre.
451
00:21:01,343 --> 00:21:02,511
Uh, my body still feels off
from that last round,
452
00:21:02,594 --> 00:21:05,806
and why're we talkin' about this
as I'm gettin' on mass transit?
453
00:21:05,889 --> 00:21:07,683
Uh, Samuel was just kinda
454
00:21:07,766 --> 00:21:10,018
pushing me about
whether I'm going out
on the tour or not.
455
00:21:10,102 --> 00:21:11,395
Now you're pushing me?
Am I?
456
00:21:11,478 --> 00:21:15,691
Um, I'm sorry.
I didn't mean to.
My bad. I just--
457
00:21:15,774 --> 00:21:16,858
I didn't wanna
keep him hangin'.
458
00:21:16,942 --> 00:21:18,986
They've been
so good to me.
459
00:21:19,069 --> 00:21:20,362
No, I get that, um...
460
00:21:23,115 --> 00:21:26,827
Uh... I guess what
I'm saying is, um...
461
00:21:26,910 --> 00:21:27,869
I'm feeling--
462
00:21:31,707 --> 00:21:32,624
Can't talk right now.
463
00:21:32,708 --> 00:21:33,875
No, no. Uh, go ahead, Ny.
464
00:21:33,959 --> 00:21:36,378
You're feelin' what?
I can't talk right now,
Andre Rashad.
465
00:21:36,461 --> 00:21:39,256
I have a student
lookin' right at me.
466
00:21:39,339 --> 00:21:40,132
Shit, she's comin' over here.
467
00:21:40,215 --> 00:21:44,678
Okay, I gotta go.
Uh, I'll be home soon.
468
00:21:44,761 --> 00:21:47,055
I'll set dinner.
Nothin' but love.
469
00:21:47,139 --> 00:21:48,265
Okay, bye.
470
00:21:49,516 --> 00:21:50,892
I just wanted
to introduce myself
471
00:21:50,976 --> 00:21:52,894
in a nonmanic,
noncrazy lady way.
472
00:21:52,978 --> 00:21:55,063
Oh.
I'm Miranda Hobbes,
473
00:21:55,147 --> 00:21:56,898
and that, I don't even
know what to call it,
474
00:21:56,982 --> 00:21:58,358
performance I gave
about your hair--
It's fine.
475
00:21:58,442 --> 00:22:01,862
We don't have to do that again.
Miranda: Oh, I hear ya.
476
00:22:01,945 --> 00:22:03,447
I, I just wanted you
to know that I am,
477
00:22:03,530 --> 00:22:05,991
actually, a serious person,
478
00:22:06,074 --> 00:22:08,744
and that being in your class
means a lot to me.
479
00:22:08,827 --> 00:22:10,370
I, I quit--
480
00:22:11,788 --> 00:22:12,664
I, uh--
481
00:22:12,748 --> 00:22:14,499
I left corporate law,
482
00:22:14,583 --> 00:22:16,710
recently, after
almost 30 years
483
00:22:16,793 --> 00:22:19,129
because I couldn't be part
of the problem anymore.
484
00:22:19,212 --> 00:22:21,214
I was at home
watching CNN
485
00:22:21,298 --> 00:22:23,675
when the Muslim ban
was initiated,
486
00:22:23,759 --> 00:22:25,844
and I saw all
those attorneys
487
00:22:25,927 --> 00:22:28,221
out at the airport
offering assistance,
488
00:22:28,305 --> 00:22:28,889
and I just--
The next thing I knew,
489
00:22:28,972 --> 00:22:32,350
I was in a cab
goin' to JFK
490
00:22:32,434 --> 00:22:35,270
to do something,
anything because,
you know...
491
00:22:36,855 --> 00:22:39,816
my wearing a pink pussy hat
just wasn't cutting it.
492
00:22:39,900 --> 00:22:43,278
I'm sorry, I didn't
catch a lot of that.
Probably just as well.
493
00:22:53,288 --> 00:22:55,832
Hey, Carrie.
You got a minute?
494
00:22:55,916 --> 00:22:58,752
Oh, sure...
That was a funny
show today.
495
00:22:58,835 --> 00:23:01,171
I like the gloves.
Oh, thanks.
496
00:23:01,254 --> 00:23:04,257
Yeah, they're really
mostly for elevator
buttons and handrails.
497
00:23:04,341 --> 00:23:07,010
It's just a little
something I started
during the pandemic.
498
00:23:07,094 --> 00:23:08,011
Seems to be hangin' in there.
499
00:23:08,095 --> 00:23:10,055
So, about today's show,
500
00:23:10,138 --> 00:23:10,764
you need to dialogue
with us more.
501
00:23:13,183 --> 00:23:15,769
Oh, um, no, go ahead.
I'll, I'll ride down with you.
502
00:23:15,852 --> 00:23:16,686
Okay.
503
00:23:24,986 --> 00:23:27,155
Oh, just a few quick puffs.
I'm so wired after a show.
504
00:23:27,239 --> 00:23:29,449
You want a hit?
No, I'm, I'm good, thank you.
505
00:23:33,870 --> 00:23:35,956
Yeah, so...
506
00:23:36,039 --> 00:23:38,125
you can't just
sit there giggling.
You know what I mean?
507
00:23:38,208 --> 00:23:41,086
Well, um,
508
00:23:41,169 --> 00:23:42,129
I'm really stronger
when people call in
509
00:23:42,212 --> 00:23:45,382
with relationship
questions.
510
00:23:45,465 --> 00:23:47,300
You know, today turned
kind of raunchy.
511
00:23:47,384 --> 00:23:48,552
Well, that's where
it goes sometimes,
512
00:23:48,635 --> 00:23:51,763
and you need to go
with it, or the trolls
will label you
513
00:23:51,847 --> 00:23:55,142
"the uptight cisgender
female married lady."
514
00:23:55,225 --> 00:23:57,310
And that's not who you are.
It's not?
515
00:23:57,394 --> 00:23:59,104
I know you got more.
516
00:23:59,187 --> 00:24:00,480
C'mon, I mean, you had
a column about sexuality
517
00:24:00,564 --> 00:24:03,442
in a mainstream newspaper
in the fuckin' 1990s.
518
00:24:03,525 --> 00:24:07,154
You're the OG.
You... are badass.
519
00:24:07,237 --> 00:24:09,197
Well, you know, that
was writing at a desk.
520
00:24:09,281 --> 00:24:12,784
I'm not a standup
like you two.
521
00:24:12,868 --> 00:24:16,329
I'm, I'm not comfortable
with the more graphic content,
522
00:24:16,413 --> 00:24:18,498
you know, it's just--
It's not me.
523
00:24:18,582 --> 00:24:20,250
Hmm, you might wanna
step out of that box.
524
00:24:20,333 --> 00:24:23,753
Surprise yourself.
Just a suggestion.
525
00:24:23,837 --> 00:24:26,173
Well, in, in my defense,
I did do that anal joke
526
00:24:26,256 --> 00:24:28,341
about not riding the A train.
That was good!
527
00:24:28,425 --> 00:24:30,927
See? Don't hold yourself back.
Okay.
528
00:24:31,011 --> 00:24:33,388
You were--
You were so funny
at your job interview.
529
00:24:33,471 --> 00:24:35,599
Yeah, but that was like
our first date, you know?
530
00:24:35,682 --> 00:24:37,767
I gave you all
my good stuff.
531
00:24:37,851 --> 00:24:39,603
Look, I really want
this to work out
for all of us,
532
00:24:39,686 --> 00:24:41,188
so I say this
with love...
533
00:24:41,271 --> 00:24:43,356
ya better step
your pussy up.
534
00:24:43,440 --> 00:24:46,985
Oh, okay.
Okay, so what're you gonna do?
535
00:24:48,111 --> 00:24:50,780
I'm gonna...
step my pussy up?
536
00:24:50,864 --> 00:24:53,033
Hmm, was that a question?
No.
537
00:24:53,116 --> 00:24:54,951
Oh.
I'm gonna step
my pussy up.
538
00:24:55,035 --> 00:24:57,787
Yes!
539
00:25:11,843 --> 00:25:13,470
♪ ♪
540
00:25:31,446 --> 00:25:32,614
Do you masturbate?
541
00:25:36,785 --> 00:25:38,870
I feel like that's
a trick question.
542
00:25:38,954 --> 00:25:41,957
Do you?
Uh, Senator, I'm gonna
wait for my counsel
543
00:25:42,040 --> 00:25:42,624
before I respond to that.
544
00:25:44,209 --> 00:25:46,836
Is this for your new book?
545
00:25:47,963 --> 00:25:48,463
For the podcast.
546
00:25:51,424 --> 00:25:52,592
I have to step my pussy up.
547
00:25:52,676 --> 00:25:54,135
Well, I don't know what
we're talkin' about,
548
00:25:54,219 --> 00:25:55,470
but I like the sound of it.
549
00:25:57,097 --> 00:25:57,472
Well...
550
00:25:59,099 --> 00:26:00,267
do you?
551
00:26:01,685 --> 00:26:04,062
Do you?
Yes.
552
00:26:04,145 --> 00:26:05,230
Well, next time
give me a heads up.
553
00:26:05,313 --> 00:26:06,815
I'd like to attend
that event.
554
00:26:06,898 --> 00:26:09,276
You have my LinkedIn
address, right?
555
00:26:17,075 --> 00:26:17,575
Masturbate for me.
556
00:26:19,035 --> 00:26:20,120
I wanna see you.
557
00:26:21,288 --> 00:26:23,707
Okay, what are you doing?
I'm surprising myself.
558
00:26:23,790 --> 00:26:26,626
Well, you're surprising
the hell outta me, too.
559
00:26:30,255 --> 00:26:32,590
Are you gonna join me?
560
00:26:32,674 --> 00:26:35,051
Mmmm, I just wanna watch.
561
00:26:35,969 --> 00:26:37,470
With or without my glasses?
562
00:26:40,223 --> 00:26:41,391
Ahem...
563
00:26:43,810 --> 00:26:44,477
What're you doing?
564
00:26:44,561 --> 00:26:47,230
Getting some lube.
I'm not 30.
565
00:26:48,732 --> 00:26:50,859
I thought you
were reaching
for your emergency
566
00:26:50,942 --> 00:26:52,652
nitroglycerin pill.
567
00:26:52,736 --> 00:26:54,571
You want me
to masturbate or not?
568
00:27:07,834 --> 00:27:09,502
Come here.
Mmmm.
569
00:27:09,586 --> 00:27:12,797
Just do what you usually do.
Pretend I'm not here.
570
00:27:25,143 --> 00:27:26,019
Oh, Carrie!
571
00:27:26,102 --> 00:27:29,481
Oh my, Carrie!
572
00:27:29,564 --> 00:27:30,648
I must have you!
573
00:27:34,235 --> 00:27:36,571
That's some "Bridgerton"
shit there.
574
00:27:38,990 --> 00:27:40,825
Look at you.
575
00:27:58,551 --> 00:28:00,428
Hello, lovers.
576
00:28:12,816 --> 00:28:15,819
Oh... the weekly cigar,
577
00:28:15,902 --> 00:28:18,113
and Allegra
on the same night?
578
00:28:18,196 --> 00:28:20,907
I'm all in, baby.
579
00:28:20,990 --> 00:28:22,450
Do you notice
anything special?
580
00:28:24,244 --> 00:28:27,747
Nope.
581
00:28:27,831 --> 00:28:31,376
I see the wedding shoes.
How could I not?
582
00:28:31,459 --> 00:28:33,294
Those blue shoes are
the whole ball game.
583
00:28:33,378 --> 00:28:36,005
Hey, I was thinking,
if I get home early enough,
584
00:28:36,089 --> 00:28:37,298
maybe we can drive
out east tonight.
585
00:28:37,382 --> 00:28:39,050
Would you be
up for that?
586
00:28:39,134 --> 00:28:41,511
Depends how spent
I am after Allegra.
587
00:28:41,594 --> 00:28:43,221
All right, well...
588
00:28:43,304 --> 00:28:44,514
just text me
and let me know
589
00:28:44,597 --> 00:28:47,058
and I won't go out
for a drink after.
590
00:28:47,851 --> 00:28:51,729
Okay...
I'll see you later.
591
00:28:51,813 --> 00:28:53,231
Hm?
592
00:28:55,400 --> 00:28:56,276
What?
593
00:28:57,402 --> 00:28:57,735
I'm just looking at you.
594
00:29:03,908 --> 00:29:06,327
All right, tell that whore
Allegra I said bye.
595
00:29:13,543 --> 00:29:17,005
Please put this dress on.
I want us all in florals.
596
00:29:17,088 --> 00:29:17,881
I wanna wear
what I wanna wear.
597
00:29:17,964 --> 00:29:20,341
What is the problem?
It isn't even poofy.
598
00:29:20,425 --> 00:29:23,595
Rose, we're
gonna be late!
599
00:29:23,678 --> 00:29:25,889
And it's Lily's big night.
Leave me out of this.
600
00:29:25,972 --> 00:29:27,390
What's the holdup?
What's happenin'?
601
00:29:27,474 --> 00:29:30,101
What's happening
is that Rose won't
wear her dress.
602
00:29:30,185 --> 00:29:32,103
I picked something
else to wear!
603
00:29:32,187 --> 00:29:33,980
Can't she just wear
what she wants to wear?
604
00:29:34,063 --> 00:29:35,482
No, Harry, no.
605
00:29:35,565 --> 00:29:37,484
I bought this
Oscar de la Renta
606
00:29:37,567 --> 00:29:40,737
special for tonight.
Okay, okay.
607
00:29:42,780 --> 00:29:45,450
How about if I wear it?
608
00:29:47,368 --> 00:29:49,370
Rose, baby...
609
00:29:50,205 --> 00:29:50,788
can you just
wear the dress?
610
00:29:52,415 --> 00:29:53,791
Please?
611
00:29:53,875 --> 00:29:55,835
Please. For me?
612
00:30:04,677 --> 00:30:07,138
Hey, you. I like your outfit.
It's really cute, right?
613
00:30:07,222 --> 00:30:10,350
Hi, hi, hi!
Sorry we're
a little late!
614
00:30:10,433 --> 00:30:12,101
What the hell is
with that getup?
615
00:30:12,185 --> 00:30:13,853
She looks like
a little Edie Beale.
616
00:30:13,937 --> 00:30:15,396
Anthony, not now.
617
00:30:15,480 --> 00:30:17,482
Not in front of
the Manhattan School
of Music, okay?
618
00:30:17,565 --> 00:30:20,360
Hey, I have
everybody's tickets!
619
00:30:21,444 --> 00:30:24,280
Steveo,
long time, no see.
620
00:30:24,364 --> 00:30:25,949
What's new?
Hey, I got hearing aids.
621
00:30:26,032 --> 00:30:28,326
I'm an old timer now.
No, you're not.
622
00:30:28,409 --> 00:30:30,578
You only have
60% hearing loss
in one ear,
623
00:30:30,662 --> 00:30:31,829
and 40%
in the other.
624
00:30:31,913 --> 00:30:33,331
Yeah, 'cause I'm old.
Ugh!
625
00:30:33,414 --> 00:30:37,710
Honey, I think we should get
Lily backstage, don't you?
Yes, I agree.
626
00:30:37,794 --> 00:30:40,255
Lily!
Here, tickets.
627
00:30:40,338 --> 00:30:42,382
Brady, here are your tickets.
Thanks, Mom.
628
00:30:42,465 --> 00:30:44,384
Good luck!
Are you nervous?
Not really.
629
00:30:44,467 --> 00:30:48,513
I've played this piece
like a billion times.
Oh my god, I wanna be you.
630
00:30:48,596 --> 00:30:51,266
Go!
I'll see you all inside!
631
00:30:51,349 --> 00:30:53,309
Have a good show!
Oh, Anthony, I gave
Stanford's ticket to Carrie.
632
00:30:53,393 --> 00:30:56,396
Okay.
I got it.
633
00:30:56,479 --> 00:30:58,731
So, where's your better half?
He's late.
634
00:30:58,815 --> 00:31:01,234
He couldn't decide
what to wear.
Of course.
635
00:31:01,317 --> 00:31:04,404
Well, there he is!
Hey, good lookin'!
636
00:31:04,487 --> 00:31:06,906
Whatcha got cookin'?
You left?!
637
00:31:06,990 --> 00:31:09,576
You just left?!
Oh, we're not
in the same place.
638
00:31:09,659 --> 00:31:11,452
I told you
I wasn't waiting.
639
00:31:11,536 --> 00:31:13,329
What kind
of person
just leaves?
640
00:31:13,413 --> 00:31:15,915
Steve, would you ever
just leave Miranda?
Oh, boy.
641
00:31:15,999 --> 00:31:17,542
What?
What he say?
642
00:31:17,625 --> 00:31:20,253
You were picking
out a suit for
an hour and a half.
643
00:31:20,336 --> 00:31:21,504
Periwinkle or tan?
Periwinkle or tan?
644
00:31:21,588 --> 00:31:23,756
It didn't
friggin' matter!
645
00:31:23,840 --> 00:31:26,968
I'm goin' in.
Carrie has your ticket.
646
00:31:27,051 --> 00:31:29,053
I do.
Did I kiss you hello yet?
647
00:31:29,137 --> 00:31:32,223
Mmmm.
What was all that?
648
00:31:32,307 --> 00:31:36,603
Us on a good night.
Oh, Lord.
649
00:31:36,686 --> 00:31:39,564
Everyone was looking at me
like I was the white lady
650
00:31:39,647 --> 00:31:41,232
who couldn't stop
saying the word "Black."
651
00:31:41,316 --> 00:31:43,192
It's a miracle nobody
pulled out their phone,
652
00:31:43,276 --> 00:31:44,944
or I would be
a meme now.
653
00:31:45,028 --> 00:31:47,196
What do you
think was goin'
on with you?
654
00:31:47,280 --> 00:31:48,781
I think I was
just so worried
655
00:31:48,865 --> 00:31:51,034
about saying the wrong
thing in this climate
656
00:31:51,117 --> 00:31:52,994
that I said all
the wrong things.
657
00:31:53,077 --> 00:31:55,288
I'm sure you didn't say
all the wrong things.
658
00:31:55,371 --> 00:31:57,999
You're right.
I'll probably blurt out
some new ones tomorrow.
659
00:31:59,542 --> 00:32:01,961
God, is this even moving?
I really have to go.
660
00:32:02,045 --> 00:32:05,131
Well, there's no line
for the men's room,
as usual.
661
00:32:05,214 --> 00:32:07,800
Fuck it. I'm 55,
and I have to pee.
662
00:32:07,884 --> 00:32:09,677
Ladies and gentlemen,
the show is about to begin.
663
00:32:09,761 --> 00:32:11,804
Please find your
way to your seats.
664
00:32:11,888 --> 00:32:14,599
It's funny, you
couldn't stop talking,
665
00:32:14,682 --> 00:32:17,185
and my boss told me if
I wanna keep my podcast job,
666
00:32:17,268 --> 00:32:18,728
which I do, I'm gonna
have to start talking,
667
00:32:18,811 --> 00:32:22,607
and a lot more
graphically about sex.
668
00:32:22,690 --> 00:32:23,858
That's not who you are.
669
00:32:23,941 --> 00:32:27,403
Well, we can't stay
who we were, right?
670
00:32:29,405 --> 00:32:31,074
Oh, yeah, no, you're
in the right place.
671
00:32:31,157 --> 00:32:32,950
Sorry, I'm just standing
guard for my friend.
672
00:32:33,034 --> 00:32:34,369
She'll be done
any second now.
673
00:32:34,452 --> 00:32:36,663
See?
674
00:32:36,746 --> 00:32:39,666
Just--
Hey.
675
00:32:42,168 --> 00:32:45,004
Hello, again.
Oh yeah.
676
00:32:45,880 --> 00:32:47,965
Oh, excuse me, ma'am.
677
00:32:48,049 --> 00:32:50,009
Hey, where's Stanny?
He's in the balcony.
678
00:32:50,093 --> 00:32:51,844
He'll meet ya
in the lobby to go
for a drink after.
679
00:32:51,928 --> 00:32:55,848
Hope you like your Cosmos
with a side of drama.
680
00:32:55,932 --> 00:32:58,059
Charlotte gave
his seat to Rose.
681
00:32:58,142 --> 00:33:00,853
Well, what's he doing
in the balcony?
Actin' out.
682
00:33:00,937 --> 00:33:04,816
Accused me of scrollin'
hot boys at a friggin'
kids' piano recital.
683
00:33:04,899 --> 00:33:07,193
Well, what're you doin'?
Scrollin' hot boys...
684
00:33:07,276 --> 00:33:08,736
for my sourdough
business.
685
00:33:08,820 --> 00:33:09,904
Hotfellas Bread
is not gonna find
686
00:33:09,987 --> 00:33:12,615
its own hot fellas
to deliver the bread.
687
00:33:12,699 --> 00:33:13,074
So true.
688
00:33:15,368 --> 00:33:16,911
Well, what about him?
Unavail.
689
00:33:16,994 --> 00:33:18,746
Well, he's hot.
Unavail.
690
00:33:19,455 --> 00:33:23,876
Not hot, not hot, not hot.
691
00:33:23,960 --> 00:33:26,045
Well, he looks like
he could kill you.
Hot.
692
00:33:26,129 --> 00:33:27,755
Who wants wine?
Carrie?
693
00:33:27,839 --> 00:33:31,718
Oh, sure.
I love some
good purse wine.
694
00:33:31,801 --> 00:33:34,929
Hi, Charlotte.
Hi, how are you?
695
00:33:35,012 --> 00:33:36,723
Miranda.
696
00:33:36,806 --> 00:33:41,060
What?
I had a rough
first day of school,
697
00:33:41,144 --> 00:33:43,354
and I'm lookin' at two
hours of tween Mozart.
698
00:33:44,564 --> 00:33:46,399
Let it go.
699
00:33:46,482 --> 00:33:49,068
Charlotte... Hi!
Hi!
700
00:33:49,152 --> 00:33:50,820
I wanted you to meet
my motherinlaw,
Eunice Wexley.
701
00:33:50,903 --> 00:33:54,073
Oh, it is so nice to meet you.
Hello.
702
00:33:54,157 --> 00:33:58,161
Uh, Lisa, where am I seated?
I have you seated here
703
00:33:58,244 --> 00:34:00,246
with Herbert Jr.
and Gabrielle in this row
704
00:34:00,329 --> 00:34:03,040
right in front of
Herbert and myself.
705
00:34:03,124 --> 00:34:04,333
This far back?
706
00:34:04,834 --> 00:34:07,044
Yes... God.
707
00:34:07,128 --> 00:34:09,589
Miranda brought wine.
708
00:34:09,672 --> 00:34:11,424
She had a rough
first day of school.
709
00:34:11,507 --> 00:34:13,593
My hero.
May I have some?
710
00:34:13,676 --> 00:34:15,052
Here, give that
to Black Charlotte.
711
00:34:17,889 --> 00:34:21,017
You sure you good?
I got this.
712
00:34:21,100 --> 00:34:23,144
All right,
you got this.
713
00:34:48,044 --> 00:34:49,712
All right, uh,
he don't got this.
714
00:34:49,796 --> 00:34:50,797
No.
715
00:35:06,020 --> 00:35:08,356
I think my soul
just left my body.
716
00:35:13,027 --> 00:35:16,280
Pass.
Don't you
want to know what it is?
717
00:35:16,364 --> 00:35:18,282
Is it alcoholic
in nature?
718
00:35:19,575 --> 00:35:20,910
Then pass.
719
00:35:21,327 --> 00:35:22,370
Thank you.
720
00:35:31,254 --> 00:35:33,881
Welcome to Peloton.
I'm Allegra Planche,
721
00:35:33,965 --> 00:35:35,341
and thank you for joining me
722
00:35:35,424 --> 00:35:37,969
for this 45 minute power ride.
723
00:35:38,052 --> 00:35:39,554
Let's go!
Yes!
724
00:35:48,104 --> 00:35:51,440
Tell your son to stop.
What?
725
00:35:52,775 --> 00:35:54,277
They're making out.
726
00:35:55,444 --> 00:35:58,865
It's your turn.
I can't always
be the bad guy.
727
00:35:58,948 --> 00:36:01,576
Mom, we will not
be sexshamed.
728
00:36:01,659 --> 00:36:03,286
Tell Luisa
I got the message.
729
00:36:45,536 --> 00:36:48,414
In three, two, one,
pick it up!
730
00:37:02,219 --> 00:37:02,762
Ah, sí, señor!
731
00:37:19,028 --> 00:37:22,281
Now, we sprint.
Three, two, one, go!
732
00:37:27,620 --> 00:37:29,956
Whew!
733
00:37:30,039 --> 00:37:31,457
Celebrate yourself!
734
00:37:39,006 --> 00:37:41,175
We have
a threeminute climb.
735
00:37:41,259 --> 00:37:43,135
Three, two, one, arriba!
736
00:37:47,932 --> 00:37:51,310
Now we sprint!
Three, two, one, go!
737
00:38:27,430 --> 00:38:27,471
Shit!
738
00:38:35,479 --> 00:38:37,189
♪ ♪
739
00:38:56,959 --> 00:38:59,503
Yeah, Lily!
740
00:39:04,133 --> 00:39:05,885
Woo!
741
00:39:05,968 --> 00:39:07,261
Woo!
742
00:39:10,639 --> 00:39:11,640
Thanks, thanks.
743
00:39:11,724 --> 00:39:15,478
I need to stay
at your old apartment
again tonight.
744
00:39:15,561 --> 00:39:17,021
I'm not going
home to that
745
00:39:17,104 --> 00:39:20,066
selfish, selfinvolved,
sourdough Mussolini.
746
00:39:20,149 --> 00:39:21,400
I can't get a drink.
747
00:39:21,484 --> 00:39:22,610
Big and I are gonna drive
out to the beach tonight.
748
00:39:22,693 --> 00:39:24,153
Oh, fuck me.
749
00:39:24,236 --> 00:39:27,823
I'm sorry. Here.
Here's the key.
750
00:39:27,907 --> 00:39:30,409
Oh, go.
I had one made
after our last fight.
751
00:39:32,244 --> 00:39:32,578
Nightynight.
Good night.
752
00:39:32,661 --> 00:39:34,246
Good night.
753
00:39:35,998 --> 00:39:38,709
Oh, oh.
754
00:39:47,468 --> 00:39:48,969
Hmm.
755
00:39:55,393 --> 00:39:57,269
I'm here.
756
00:40:17,873 --> 00:40:18,874
John?
757
00:40:38,519 --> 00:40:39,728
John!
758
00:40:41,605 --> 00:40:42,022
Oh god!
759
00:40:42,106 --> 00:40:44,817
Oh god, John! Oh!
760
00:40:44,900 --> 00:40:45,526
John! Honey!
761
00:40:47,069 --> 00:40:49,655
John! Honey?
762
00:40:49,738 --> 00:40:50,573
Oh!
763
00:40:52,366 --> 00:40:55,411
Honey!
764
00:40:55,494 --> 00:40:57,580
John! John.
765
00:40:58,414 --> 00:40:59,206
John.
766
00:40:59,957 --> 00:41:01,208
John.
767
00:41:01,292 --> 00:41:01,458
John.
768
00:41:10,926 --> 00:41:14,972
Oh god!
769
00:41:16,265 --> 00:41:17,474
John. John.
770
00:41:19,435 --> 00:41:19,685
John.
771
00:41:19,768 --> 00:41:21,729
John.
772
00:41:21,812 --> 00:41:22,646
John.
773
00:41:24,148 --> 00:41:25,482
And just like that...
774
00:41:27,735 --> 00:41:29,069
Big died.
775
00:41:36,660 --> 00:41:40,289
♪ I know I can count on you ♪
776
00:41:40,372 --> 00:41:43,542
♪ Sometimes I feel like sayin',
Lord, I just don't care ♪
777
00:41:43,626 --> 00:41:46,462
♪ But you've got the love
I need to see me through ♪
778
00:41:53,093 --> 00:41:57,848
♪ When food is gone,
you are my daily meal ♪
779
00:41:58,349 --> 00:42:01,560
♪ Mmhmm ♪
780
00:42:01,644 --> 00:42:06,148
♪ When friends are gone,
I know my Savior's
love is real ♪
781
00:42:06,232 --> 00:42:10,027
♪ Your love is real ♪
782
00:42:10,110 --> 00:42:13,072
♪ You've got the love,
you've got the love ♪
783
00:42:13,155 --> 00:42:16,242
♪ You've got the love ♪
784
00:42:17,660 --> 00:42:22,414
♪ You've got the love,
you've got the love ♪
785
00:42:22,498 --> 00:42:24,124
♪ You've got the love ♪
786
00:42:27,044 --> 00:42:27,920
♪ Sometimes I feel like ♪
787
00:42:28,003 --> 00:42:29,463
♪ Throwin' my hands
up in the air ♪
788
00:42:31,507 --> 00:42:35,261
♪ I know I can count on you ♪
789
00:42:35,344 --> 00:42:38,764
♪ Sometimes I feel like sayin',
Lord, I just don't care ♪
790
00:42:38,847 --> 00:42:42,851
♪ But you've got the love
I need to see me through ♪
791
00:42:47,439 --> 00:42:48,482
♪ ♪
792
00:42:57,449 --> 00:42:58,492
♪ ♪
793
00:43:00,869 --> 00:43:04,790
♪ Time after time I say,
oh, Lord, what's the use ♪
794
00:43:04,873 --> 00:43:08,752
♪ Time after time
I say, this just won't do ♪
795
00:43:08,836 --> 00:43:10,921
♪ But sooner or later in life ♪
796
00:43:11,005 --> 00:43:13,257
♪ The things you love,
you lose ♪
797
00:43:13,340 --> 00:43:17,011
♪ Just like before
you know I call on you ♪
798
00:43:17,094 --> 00:43:22,266
♪ Occasionally
my thoughts are brave
and friends are few ♪
799
00:43:22,349 --> 00:43:26,478
♪ Occasionally I cry out,
Lord, what must I do? ♪
800
00:43:26,562 --> 00:43:29,857
♪ Occasionally I call out,
Master, make me new ♪
801
00:43:29,940 --> 00:43:34,945
♪ You've got the love
I need to see me through ♪
802
00:43:35,029 --> 00:43:38,574
♪ Sometimes I feel
like throwing my hands
up in the air ♪
803
00:43:39,783 --> 00:43:43,495
♪ I know I can
count on you ♪
804
00:43:43,579 --> 00:43:47,666
♪ You've got the love,
you've got the love ♪
805
00:43:47,750 --> 00:43:49,585
♪ You've got the love ♪
806
00:43:51,253 --> 00:43:53,297
♪ You've got the love ♪
807
00:43:53,380 --> 00:43:55,341
♪ You've got the love ♪
808
00:43:55,424 --> 00:43:58,344
♪ You've got the love, ooh ♪
59498
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