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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:01:06,551 --> 00:01:11,551 Provided by explosiveskull https://twitter.com/kaboomskull 2 00:02:41,929 --> 00:02:44,662 Hello, Three? All clear. Bring it in. 3 00:05:17,962 --> 00:05:19,228 Brigade. 4 00:05:20,062 --> 00:05:22,462 Once more unto the breach. 5 00:05:23,495 --> 00:05:24,729 Yes, chef. 6 00:06:14,294 --> 00:06:16,260 Where the fuck am I? 7 00:07:20,361 --> 00:07:22,895 - Look, it's Diana. - Excuse me. 8 00:07:23,795 --> 00:07:26,361 I'm looking for somewhere. 9 00:07:26,395 --> 00:07:28,528 I've absolutely no idea where I am. 10 00:07:35,495 --> 00:07:36,929 There are no signs anywhere. 11 00:07:40,829 --> 00:07:41,862 Where am I? 12 00:08:32,395 --> 00:08:33,462 Right. 13 00:08:38,528 --> 00:08:40,695 "Half my weight's in jewellery, anyway." 14 00:08:44,062 --> 00:08:46,428 Do you remember when she said that? 15 00:08:46,462 --> 00:08:49,295 I wasn't here, but I heard about it. 16 00:08:49,328 --> 00:08:51,228 Is she here yet? 17 00:08:52,762 --> 00:08:54,428 Not yet, Ma'am, no. 18 00:08:54,695 --> 00:08:56,361 Then she's late. 19 00:08:59,029 --> 00:09:00,595 And he is early. 20 00:09:06,462 --> 00:09:08,261 And yet she is late. 21 00:09:10,595 --> 00:09:12,528 Well, well, well. 22 00:10:23,762 --> 00:10:24,962 Excuse me! 23 00:10:41,994 --> 00:10:44,528 What the bloody hell are you doing here, Diana? 24 00:10:45,028 --> 00:10:47,729 Sorry, I mean... Your Royal Highness. 25 00:10:50,495 --> 00:10:51,428 I'm lost. 26 00:10:53,762 --> 00:10:57,228 But if it's you, I must be close, yes? 27 00:10:57,729 --> 00:10:59,595 Yeah, the house is just there but... 28 00:11:00,028 --> 00:11:01,762 why are you driving yourself? 29 00:11:02,595 --> 00:11:04,595 Well, cars don't drive on their own. 30 00:11:05,994 --> 00:11:06,895 No. 31 00:11:07,994 --> 00:11:10,729 Where's your driver? Where's your security detail? 32 00:11:11,028 --> 00:11:12,495 I don't know 33 00:11:13,729 --> 00:11:15,695 I was in the café in Kensington giving some presents and... 34 00:11:15,961 --> 00:11:17,762 I thought I might just... 35 00:11:18,462 --> 00:11:19,462 drive. 36 00:11:20,762 --> 00:11:21,729 Do they know? 37 00:11:22,361 --> 00:11:23,261 No. 38 00:11:24,628 --> 00:11:25,762 I just drove. 39 00:11:27,762 --> 00:11:29,662 Well, anyway. 40 00:11:30,495 --> 00:11:31,462 Hello again. 41 00:11:32,929 --> 00:11:33,929 Hello, Darren. 42 00:11:36,295 --> 00:11:37,528 Is everybody there? 43 00:11:37,562 --> 00:11:40,361 Well, apart from Her Majesty, yeah. 44 00:11:40,862 --> 00:11:41,862 Perfect. 45 00:11:45,994 --> 00:11:47,762 Look. 46 00:11:48,295 --> 00:11:49,361 Of course. 47 00:11:49,862 --> 00:11:51,328 Now I know where I am. 48 00:11:52,829 --> 00:11:54,428 We used to call him Bertie. 49 00:11:56,328 --> 00:11:58,395 I think that's my father's coat he's wearing. 50 00:11:59,994 --> 00:12:02,361 We used to live just over that hill. 51 00:12:02,895 --> 00:12:05,261 Papa used to give the farmer his old clothes. 52 00:12:11,029 --> 00:12:14,729 Gosh, how could I get lost in a place where I used to play? 53 00:12:14,762 --> 00:12:16,795 We should really get going. 54 00:12:19,695 --> 00:12:21,628 Will they kill me, do you think? 55 00:12:22,795 --> 00:12:24,395 I'm going to check. 56 00:12:24,428 --> 00:12:25,729 Check what? 57 00:12:25,928 --> 00:12:28,261 Look, it's sandwiches in 15 minutes. 58 00:12:28,295 --> 00:12:29,928 - It's Papa's, I'm sure of it. - Wait. 59 00:12:30,395 --> 00:12:33,361 Say there was a big tractor broken down or something, eh? 60 00:12:33,395 --> 00:12:34,528 Say you got lost. 61 00:12:34,729 --> 00:12:35,595 Anything. 62 00:12:36,762 --> 00:12:38,695 It's too late for trying broken tractors on them. 63 00:14:06,528 --> 00:14:07,828 Her Majesty. 64 00:14:09,962 --> 00:14:11,295 Your Royal Highness. 65 00:15:27,395 --> 00:15:28,395 Hello. 66 00:15:31,795 --> 00:15:32,728 No. 67 00:15:33,462 --> 00:15:34,929 Gary usually lets me off. 68 00:15:35,528 --> 00:15:37,361 Gary, Your Royal Highness? 69 00:15:37,395 --> 00:15:40,428 The normal page. The usual Christmas page. 70 00:15:40,462 --> 00:15:42,628 We have a thing between us, an understanding. 71 00:15:43,062 --> 00:15:45,462 I don't usually do the getting-weighed thing. 72 00:15:45,495 --> 00:15:47,328 I'm half jewellery, anyway. 73 00:15:47,361 --> 00:15:48,761 That's what I always say. 74 00:15:50,728 --> 00:15:51,829 I'm not, though. 75 00:15:52,062 --> 00:15:54,295 - It's a joke. - Ma'am. 76 00:15:54,862 --> 00:15:57,862 Her Majesty herself just a second ago sat on these scales. 77 00:15:58,462 --> 00:16:01,495 And she was very insistent that everyone joins in. 78 00:16:01,528 --> 00:16:04,962 - I don't think I've seen you before. - This is my first Sandringham duty. 79 00:16:05,694 --> 00:16:07,495 To make sure everyone joins in. 80 00:16:07,962 --> 00:16:10,895 They said no one is above tradition. 81 00:16:12,929 --> 00:16:14,261 Okay, fine. 82 00:16:14,562 --> 00:16:15,795 I'm in enough trouble. 83 00:16:23,661 --> 00:16:26,261 We have to put on three pounds minimum before we leave 84 00:16:26,628 --> 00:16:28,795 to prove we enjoyed Christmas, yes? 85 00:16:29,495 --> 00:16:30,895 That is the tradition. 86 00:16:31,895 --> 00:16:35,261 It was Prince Albert in 1847 who began it. 87 00:16:36,495 --> 00:16:39,762 - It's meant to be a bit of fun. - Well, it is, it's a lovely bit of fun. 88 00:16:39,995 --> 00:16:42,595 I'll do what I can. But no promises. 89 00:16:43,328 --> 00:16:45,428 I'm always catching up, always. 90 00:16:48,562 --> 00:16:50,495 - They're all here, aren't they? - Yes. 91 00:16:52,528 --> 00:16:53,661 Mm. 92 00:16:55,395 --> 00:16:56,528 What happened? 93 00:16:56,762 --> 00:16:57,995 A tractor broken down. 94 00:16:58,029 --> 00:17:01,228 I had to help mend it. My fingernails. 95 00:17:02,562 --> 00:17:05,829 - Is the bedroom cold again this year? - Yes, it is. 96 00:17:05,862 --> 00:17:08,929 I always tell them. They never listen. 97 00:17:08,962 --> 00:17:12,661 - Ma'am, if the bedroom's cold... - The bedroom's always cold. 98 00:17:12,695 --> 00:17:14,862 It's a bit of fun. Tradition. 99 00:17:15,295 --> 00:17:16,962 I will have more blankets delivered. 100 00:17:16,995 --> 00:17:19,428 Why don't they just turn up the heating 101 00:17:19,462 --> 00:17:21,428 instead of burying everyone in blankets? 102 00:17:21,627 --> 00:17:23,562 - It's every year I say it. - Mummy? 103 00:17:23,862 --> 00:17:26,495 What? Oh, look at you! 104 00:17:26,528 --> 00:17:28,295 -Mummy, I'm cold. 105 00:17:28,328 --> 00:17:30,929 Who gave you this big, hilarious coat? 106 00:17:30,962 --> 00:17:32,627 It's from the storeroom, Ma'am. 107 00:17:32,661 --> 00:17:35,395 His Royal Highness kept saying he was cold. 108 00:17:35,428 --> 00:17:36,762 Instead of heating... 109 00:17:36,995 --> 00:17:40,462 they've dressed you up like Winston Churchill. 110 00:17:42,462 --> 00:17:43,895 Your Royal Highness. 111 00:17:43,929 --> 00:17:47,328 The family are all gathered in the drawing room for the sandwiches. 112 00:17:47,361 --> 00:17:48,495 They are waiting. 113 00:17:51,295 --> 00:17:52,528 The sandwiches. 114 00:17:53,995 --> 00:17:55,895 The sandwiches. The holy sandwiches. 115 00:17:56,995 --> 00:17:58,228 Good. 116 00:17:59,295 --> 00:18:00,462 To the sandwiches. 117 00:18:01,528 --> 00:18:02,895 I'll be there in a minute. 118 00:18:04,295 --> 00:18:05,395 Ma'am. 119 00:19:19,462 --> 00:19:20,829 Three days. 120 00:19:22,628 --> 00:19:23,762 That's it. 121 00:19:35,494 --> 00:19:36,995 Maggie. 122 00:19:40,662 --> 00:19:42,695 Oh my God. Didn't they tell you? 123 00:19:43,929 --> 00:19:46,695 I've got you again. I bagged you. 124 00:19:47,395 --> 00:19:49,361 They gave me to you because I insisted. 125 00:19:50,062 --> 00:19:51,395 Good. 126 00:19:52,029 --> 00:19:53,328 Hope. 127 00:19:57,562 --> 00:19:59,494 These are your dresses for the whole thing. 128 00:20:02,595 --> 00:20:04,862 I have to run. Listen... 129 00:20:05,695 --> 00:20:07,295 I've left a coat in my car. 130 00:20:07,595 --> 00:20:09,729 I want you to clean it, sew it up, 131 00:20:09,762 --> 00:20:10,962 whatever it needs. 132 00:20:11,829 --> 00:20:14,427 A coat from where, Ma'am? 133 00:20:15,562 --> 00:20:17,261 Ancient history. 134 00:20:17,295 --> 00:20:18,562 Whose ancient history? 135 00:20:18,995 --> 00:20:20,395 Spencer. 136 00:20:36,295 --> 00:20:37,595 I was always last back. 137 00:20:37,862 --> 00:20:39,461 Always late for everything. 138 00:20:40,695 --> 00:20:43,795 I'd get home half an hour after the others and... 139 00:20:43,829 --> 00:20:45,394 everyone would just laugh. 140 00:20:47,427 --> 00:20:49,995 I'd actually forgotten all about the scarecrow until today. 141 00:20:50,695 --> 00:20:52,795 I can't believe he's still watching over us. 142 00:20:54,862 --> 00:20:56,394 How can he watch us? 143 00:20:58,562 --> 00:21:01,495 Ma'am, they're about to open the presents. 144 00:21:01,528 --> 00:21:02,695 Yes, coming. 145 00:21:04,462 --> 00:21:05,595 Mummy, 146 00:21:06,762 --> 00:21:09,462 why do we have to open our presents on Christmas Eve? 147 00:21:10,495 --> 00:21:12,595 Why not Christmas Day like everybody else? 148 00:21:13,595 --> 00:21:16,394 - You know at school you do tenses? - Yeah. 149 00:21:16,427 --> 00:21:18,862 There's the past, the present, future. 150 00:21:18,895 --> 00:21:19,962 Right. 151 00:21:20,462 --> 00:21:22,628 Well here, there is only one tense. 152 00:21:23,427 --> 00:21:24,795 There is no future. 153 00:21:25,628 --> 00:21:27,762 The past and the present are the same thing. 154 00:21:28,328 --> 00:21:30,662 Daddy told Harry it's because Father Christmas 155 00:21:30,695 --> 00:21:33,595 does queens and kings the day before everybody else 156 00:21:33,929 --> 00:21:35,662 so that we get the best presents. 157 00:21:35,695 --> 00:21:37,662 - It's true. - He still believes it. 158 00:21:37,695 --> 00:21:38,895 What? 159 00:21:38,929 --> 00:21:40,929 Actually, that was my little fabrication. 160 00:21:40,962 --> 00:21:42,562 I believe Mummy. 161 00:21:43,327 --> 00:21:45,261 Daddy did confirm it, though. 162 00:21:45,295 --> 00:21:47,462 Oh, if Daddy confirmed it, then it must be true. 163 00:21:47,495 --> 00:21:48,962 Yes, of course it is. 164 00:21:49,495 --> 00:21:51,829 You two are both gonna get coal for Christmas. 165 00:21:53,428 --> 00:21:55,595 Can we go to the house where you used to live? 166 00:21:55,628 --> 00:21:56,762 It's boarded up. 167 00:21:57,762 --> 00:21:59,495 It's dangerous, apparently. 168 00:21:59,528 --> 00:22:01,862 They said, "It's dangerous, you know?" 169 00:22:02,394 --> 00:22:04,829 - Aww. - In those voices, like doors closing. 170 00:22:04,862 --> 00:22:06,662 Did Granny order that? 171 00:22:08,528 --> 00:22:10,395 Ma'am, the others are waiting. 172 00:22:10,428 --> 00:22:12,762 Okay, you go. I'll join you in a minute. Come on. 173 00:22:15,395 --> 00:22:17,462 Do you like them getting cross with you? 174 00:22:17,495 --> 00:22:18,762 Yes, terribly. 175 00:22:19,562 --> 00:22:20,762 Mummy, 176 00:22:20,795 --> 00:22:21,929 what's happened? 177 00:22:22,695 --> 00:22:24,327 It's Christmas. 178 00:22:24,360 --> 00:22:26,294 Everything waits until after Christmas. 179 00:22:26,595 --> 00:22:27,662 Go on. 180 00:22:38,895 --> 00:22:40,462 Fuck. 181 00:23:05,562 --> 00:23:06,962 There. 182 00:23:22,895 --> 00:23:24,227 What do you think? 183 00:23:24,729 --> 00:23:26,729 Very beautiful, Your Royal Highness. 184 00:23:27,062 --> 00:23:28,260 Mm. 185 00:23:32,662 --> 00:23:35,294 - It's Martha, isn't it? - Maria, Ma'am. 186 00:23:35,328 --> 00:23:36,361 Oh. 187 00:23:38,829 --> 00:23:40,662 My husband doesn't know it, but... 188 00:23:41,962 --> 00:23:43,595 I saw a photo and... 189 00:23:43,829 --> 00:23:46,395 she was wearing exactly the same pearls. 190 00:23:48,029 --> 00:23:49,962 He bought exactly the same for her. 191 00:23:51,395 --> 00:23:52,762 But he doesn't even realise. 192 00:23:55,995 --> 00:23:57,462 It's why I left them. 193 00:23:57,495 --> 00:23:58,628 As a gesture. 194 00:24:02,528 --> 00:24:03,762 They are beautiful. 195 00:24:06,595 --> 00:24:08,562 It's not the pearls' fault, is it? 196 00:24:08,595 --> 00:24:10,462 No, Ma'am. 197 00:24:12,662 --> 00:24:14,628 If I gave them to you, would you take them? 198 00:24:19,295 --> 00:24:20,295 No. 199 00:24:21,328 --> 00:24:22,995 No, she couldn't possibly think of it, Ma'am. 200 00:24:24,361 --> 00:24:26,462 I'm told there's a dress to go with them. 201 00:24:26,495 --> 00:24:27,862 I'm told it's all set. 202 00:24:28,795 --> 00:24:30,328 You know? All set. 203 00:24:31,995 --> 00:24:33,995 As if everything's already happened. 204 00:25:35,495 --> 00:25:39,595 Papa, didn't you say that we Spencers were distantly related to Anne Boleyn? 205 00:25:41,595 --> 00:25:42,962 Yes, I read all about her. 206 00:25:44,729 --> 00:25:45,929 They even wrote a poem. 207 00:25:48,695 --> 00:25:50,395 "She married the King of England 208 00:25:50,895 --> 00:25:52,762 "And the King chopped off her head 209 00:25:54,328 --> 00:25:55,795 "Because he met another woman 210 00:25:56,962 --> 00:25:58,628 "And wanted her to be Queen... 211 00:26:00,361 --> 00:26:01,462 "instead." 212 00:26:37,595 --> 00:26:38,662 Who is it? 213 00:26:38,862 --> 00:26:40,295 It's Maggie, Ma'am. 214 00:26:41,862 --> 00:26:43,228 Well, come. 215 00:26:44,562 --> 00:26:45,762 Emergency. 216 00:26:49,829 --> 00:26:51,495 Gosh, thank God it's you. 217 00:26:52,295 --> 00:26:53,295 Look. 218 00:26:53,328 --> 00:26:54,995 Emergency, why? It looks beautiful. 219 00:26:55,562 --> 00:26:58,295 - But it doesn't fit. - Have you tried it on? 220 00:26:58,328 --> 00:26:59,695 No, with my mood. 221 00:26:59,729 --> 00:27:01,829 It... It doesn't fit in with my mood. 222 00:27:02,428 --> 00:27:05,862 Should be black. Black, to contrast the pearls. 223 00:27:12,462 --> 00:27:15,395 Not only did I rescue it from a scarecrow, 224 00:27:15,962 --> 00:27:17,528 I'm talking to it. 225 00:27:18,628 --> 00:27:20,929 All rumours of my disintegration confirmed. 226 00:27:26,361 --> 00:27:27,929 You know, the dust in this house... 227 00:27:29,695 --> 00:27:32,228 almost certainly contains the dead skin of every person who's ever stayed in it. 228 00:27:33,295 --> 00:27:34,962 This was once Queen Victoria's room. 229 00:27:35,829 --> 00:27:38,228 So it will have her skin floating in the air. 230 00:27:39,895 --> 00:27:42,495 She wore black for forty years after her husband died. 231 00:27:43,862 --> 00:27:45,562 That's love, isn't it? 232 00:27:45,595 --> 00:27:48,729 Well, there's no need to wear black because no one has died. 233 00:27:52,895 --> 00:27:55,261 - I've put on weight. - No, you've lost weight. 234 00:27:55,495 --> 00:27:57,929 There's up or down. It's not an issue of debate. 235 00:27:58,361 --> 00:27:59,961 Remember, we used to talk. 236 00:28:00,562 --> 00:28:02,862 They fill your eggs with princes and ride away. 237 00:28:03,862 --> 00:28:05,361 That's fine. 238 00:28:05,662 --> 00:28:06,961 It's just fine. 239 00:28:06,994 --> 00:28:08,428 Oh, fuck it. 240 00:28:09,829 --> 00:28:11,261 I will wear the dress. 241 00:28:11,795 --> 00:28:13,328 With the pearls. 242 00:28:13,361 --> 00:28:14,428 Good. 243 00:28:14,862 --> 00:28:16,228 Good choice. 244 00:28:16,961 --> 00:28:18,595 Because I'm too weak to insist on black. 245 00:28:18,628 --> 00:28:19,729 Please. 246 00:28:20,829 --> 00:28:22,361 - It will be fine. - Yes, it will be fine. 247 00:28:23,395 --> 00:28:24,562 Good. 248 00:28:24,862 --> 00:28:27,628 You'll be in the world, in some pub. Laughing. 249 00:28:28,762 --> 00:28:31,361 And I will be in a field full of fucking landmines. 250 00:28:31,961 --> 00:28:34,729 So stand very still and smile a lot. 251 00:28:35,029 --> 00:28:37,628 In this house, everyone can hear everything. 252 00:28:37,829 --> 00:28:39,862 Yes, even your thoughts. 253 00:28:39,895 --> 00:28:41,295 Who is that new chap? 254 00:28:41,895 --> 00:28:43,528 He can read your thoughts. 255 00:28:43,562 --> 00:28:46,029 Yes, they're getting quite serious. 256 00:28:46,062 --> 00:28:49,528 - About? - They're getting serious about you. 257 00:28:50,762 --> 00:28:52,295 It is concern. 258 00:28:52,762 --> 00:28:54,261 Yes, concern. 259 00:28:54,862 --> 00:28:56,662 Suggesting compassion. 260 00:28:57,595 --> 00:28:59,395 Why wouldn't they be concerned? 261 00:28:59,894 --> 00:29:01,328 I'm half gone. 262 00:29:01,628 --> 00:29:03,495 - Gone where? - I don't know. 263 00:29:05,595 --> 00:29:07,295 Today, I nearly just... 264 00:29:08,062 --> 00:29:09,762 nearly just kept driving. 265 00:29:12,995 --> 00:29:15,695 This year they insisted on weighing me. 266 00:29:18,862 --> 00:29:20,462 Just a bit of fun. 267 00:29:21,062 --> 00:29:22,662 They can't change. 268 00:29:23,361 --> 00:29:24,662 You have to change. 269 00:29:25,894 --> 00:29:29,228 I mean, the weighing, yes, that is just that. 270 00:29:29,795 --> 00:29:30,962 A bit of fun. 271 00:29:30,995 --> 00:29:33,995 But don't see conspiracy everywhere. 272 00:29:34,729 --> 00:29:36,829 Don't behave the way the say you behave. 273 00:29:37,462 --> 00:29:38,962 You make it easy for them. 274 00:29:39,962 --> 00:29:41,562 Easy for them to do what? 275 00:29:42,361 --> 00:29:43,361 Well, say it. 276 00:29:43,662 --> 00:29:45,428 Just look gorgeous. 277 00:29:45,928 --> 00:29:48,695 I know about the pearls. I know he gave the same to her. 278 00:29:48,894 --> 00:29:51,428 I understand why you're like this. 279 00:29:53,928 --> 00:29:56,795 - It's deliberate. - No, no. 280 00:29:57,295 --> 00:29:58,428 He just forgets. 281 00:29:58,929 --> 00:30:00,361 But wear them anyway. 282 00:30:01,662 --> 00:30:03,729 And in your beauty, he will remember. 283 00:30:04,528 --> 00:30:06,428 I don't care if he fucking remembers. 284 00:30:07,495 --> 00:30:09,495 Then only remember you're beautiful. 285 00:30:10,495 --> 00:30:11,828 Don't let that go. 286 00:30:12,495 --> 00:30:13,762 Beauty is useless. 287 00:30:15,628 --> 00:30:16,795 Beauty is clothing. 288 00:30:24,995 --> 00:30:28,628 Prepare the tureens, warm the bowls. Please. Hush, hush, no noise. 289 00:30:28,662 --> 00:30:31,762 Stay on on your feet! 290 00:30:31,794 --> 00:30:33,395 They can hear us. 291 00:30:33,695 --> 00:30:35,794 Pitter, patter, soft words. 292 00:30:35,828 --> 00:30:40,462 Fingers out of saucers, you sons and you daughters of bitches. 293 00:30:40,495 --> 00:30:43,995 And we blanch the nettles or they will sting us. 294 00:30:46,695 --> 00:30:50,995 Brigade, we make everything the best it can be. 295 00:30:51,029 --> 00:30:53,895 I want our Princess of Wales 296 00:30:55,395 --> 00:30:56,729 to want something. 297 00:30:58,295 --> 00:30:59,428 Service. 298 00:36:14,729 --> 00:36:15,762 Ma'am? 299 00:36:16,328 --> 00:36:17,494 It's dessert. 300 00:36:18,595 --> 00:36:20,527 - They're waiting for you. - Yes, I know. 301 00:37:41,562 --> 00:37:43,528 Still hungry, Ma'am? 302 00:37:54,462 --> 00:37:55,729 Who are you... 303 00:37:56,295 --> 00:37:57,462 exactly? 304 00:37:58,729 --> 00:38:01,295 I'm usually at Clarence House, drafted in for this occasion. 305 00:38:01,562 --> 00:38:03,295 I'm the Queen Mother's equerry. 306 00:38:06,495 --> 00:38:07,595 Before that? 307 00:38:09,062 --> 00:38:11,829 I was an officer. In a regiment called the Black Watch. 308 00:38:13,029 --> 00:38:14,528 And that's what you do. 309 00:38:15,062 --> 00:38:15,962 You watch. 310 00:38:17,495 --> 00:38:19,762 Mostly I'm here because of the press. 311 00:38:21,360 --> 00:38:24,929 It was felt we needed to be on guard because of all the silly attention 312 00:38:25,360 --> 00:38:27,495 that your Royal Highness is attracting. 313 00:38:27,528 --> 00:38:28,995 Yes, I'm a magnet for madness. 314 00:38:30,528 --> 00:38:31,895 Other people's madness. 315 00:38:32,394 --> 00:38:34,495 I have military experience. 316 00:38:34,528 --> 00:38:39,394 Part of my remit is the security within the grounds of Sandringham House. 317 00:38:40,327 --> 00:38:41,695 To keep photographers away. 318 00:38:42,462 --> 00:38:43,829 Foreigners, you know? 319 00:38:45,795 --> 00:38:47,995 One of the men reported back today that they saw you 320 00:38:48,029 --> 00:38:50,595 dressing and undressing with your curtains open. 321 00:38:51,762 --> 00:38:54,562 If there had been a photographer... 322 00:38:56,862 --> 00:38:58,261 Now you really watch. 323 00:38:59,062 --> 00:39:01,895 I watch to make sure that others do not see. 324 00:39:03,327 --> 00:39:06,327 Their lenses are terribly powerful these days, Ma'am. 325 00:39:06,595 --> 00:39:09,261 Their lenses are more like microscopes, actually. 326 00:39:11,327 --> 00:39:13,462 And I am the insect in the dish. 327 00:39:15,462 --> 00:39:17,895 You see, they're pulling my wings and my legs off. 328 00:39:18,962 --> 00:39:21,895 One by one. Making notes on how I react. 329 00:39:23,995 --> 00:39:27,327 "Oh, she really does make a fuss this one, doesn't she?" 330 00:39:29,462 --> 00:39:30,528 Not like Anne Boleyn... 331 00:39:32,729 --> 00:39:35,895 who offered her head to the tweezers with such grace. 332 00:39:38,729 --> 00:39:41,395 I just wanted to be sure you were feeling all right. 333 00:39:42,395 --> 00:39:44,562 And give you that word of warning. 334 00:39:45,695 --> 00:39:46,962 I will feel all right. 335 00:39:48,595 --> 00:39:50,428 If you go away. Please. 336 00:39:50,929 --> 00:39:51,995 Very well. 337 00:39:52,929 --> 00:39:54,260 But please... 338 00:39:54,562 --> 00:39:56,929 - keep your curtains... - Close my curtains. 339 00:39:57,729 --> 00:39:58,829 Yes. 340 00:40:00,895 --> 00:40:01,995 Maybe. 341 00:40:03,428 --> 00:40:04,428 No. 342 00:40:05,929 --> 00:40:08,395 Depending on lots of things. Hmm. 343 00:40:12,929 --> 00:40:14,995 Oh. 344 00:40:16,029 --> 00:40:17,462 It's gone midnight. 345 00:40:18,294 --> 00:40:19,294 So... 346 00:40:20,395 --> 00:40:21,662 Happy Christmas. 347 00:40:22,328 --> 00:40:23,528 Happy Christmas. 348 00:41:37,795 --> 00:41:39,595 Who is this? 349 00:41:39,628 --> 00:41:41,395 Hands on your head! 350 00:41:41,862 --> 00:41:43,595 Sorry. 351 00:41:43,628 --> 00:41:44,628 It's me. 352 00:41:47,462 --> 00:41:48,995 Your Royal Highness, apologies. 353 00:41:49,029 --> 00:41:50,595 We thought you were... 354 00:41:50,628 --> 00:41:52,962 Can I take my hands off my head? 355 00:41:53,562 --> 00:41:55,829 Of course. Sorry, Ma'am. 356 00:41:55,862 --> 00:41:57,295 I used to live there. 357 00:41:57,895 --> 00:41:58,962 I grew up there. 358 00:41:59,929 --> 00:42:01,562 Came to have a look. 359 00:42:01,595 --> 00:42:05,795 Ma'am, according to the rules, if we have an encounter, we have to report it. 360 00:42:06,428 --> 00:42:07,528 With me? 361 00:42:07,929 --> 00:42:09,029 With anyone. 362 00:42:09,062 --> 00:42:12,495 I'd like it if you didn't report this encounter. 363 00:42:13,595 --> 00:42:14,662 Just... 364 00:42:15,029 --> 00:42:16,595 say you saw a ghost. 365 00:42:17,695 --> 00:42:19,729 Are you warm enough, Ma'am? 366 00:42:20,295 --> 00:42:21,495 Not really. 367 00:42:22,562 --> 00:42:24,295 They won't turn the heating up. 368 00:42:26,895 --> 00:42:29,528 - I'll go back. - We'll escort you. 369 00:42:29,829 --> 00:42:32,428 - Why? - There are photographers. 370 00:42:32,695 --> 00:42:36,295 Well, perhaps they just want to take photos of what's really going on. 371 00:42:36,829 --> 00:42:38,795 2323, anyone there? 372 00:42:39,428 --> 00:42:40,428 Joe, is anyone there? 373 00:42:40,862 --> 00:42:42,595 No, nothing at all. 374 00:42:42,895 --> 00:42:44,428 No one, all clear. 375 00:43:22,495 --> 00:43:24,361 Mummy, you're freezing. 376 00:43:26,328 --> 00:43:27,795 I tried to escape. 377 00:43:27,829 --> 00:43:28,995 Got captured. 378 00:43:32,862 --> 00:43:34,261 This one's for you. 379 00:43:36,562 --> 00:43:38,595 - What is it? - Not telling you. 380 00:43:39,061 --> 00:43:42,462 Open it in the morning. Christmas morning, like normal people. 381 00:43:42,895 --> 00:43:44,895 Don't tell anyone. 382 00:43:44,929 --> 00:43:48,328 - Okay. - I can hear you both talking, you know? 383 00:43:49,994 --> 00:43:51,994 - And I'm still cold. - Oh. 384 00:43:52,762 --> 00:43:54,562 When you're cold, 385 00:43:54,595 --> 00:43:55,994 you light a fire. 386 00:43:59,328 --> 00:44:00,395 For you. 387 00:44:03,495 --> 00:44:04,994 Let's play. Come on. 388 00:44:05,895 --> 00:44:06,994 Attention. 389 00:44:08,895 --> 00:44:11,361 I'll be the major. You be the soldiers. 390 00:44:12,428 --> 00:44:13,729 This game is silly. 391 00:44:13,762 --> 00:44:15,895 Because you're hopeless at it. 392 00:44:15,929 --> 00:44:16,795 Soldier William. 393 00:44:19,361 --> 00:44:21,295 Best thing about Christmas so far? 394 00:44:21,994 --> 00:44:24,328 - Best thing... - And it has to be the truth. 395 00:44:24,795 --> 00:44:27,895 Best thing about Christmas so far is being with the family, Sir. 396 00:44:29,795 --> 00:44:32,395 Soldier, I said I wanted the truth. 397 00:44:32,428 --> 00:44:33,961 - Soldier. - Sorry, Sir. 398 00:44:34,729 --> 00:44:35,795 Presents, Sir. 399 00:44:37,096 --> 00:44:38,762 Sir, presents are the only good thing about Christmas, Sir. 400 00:44:40,096 --> 00:44:42,428 - Not if you can't open them. - That's true. 401 00:44:43,961 --> 00:44:46,562 Soldier Harry. Best part of Christmas so far? 402 00:44:46,795 --> 00:44:49,261 And I know I'll get the truth from you, Sir. 403 00:44:49,595 --> 00:44:51,729 When you arrived, Mummy, Sir. 404 00:44:53,562 --> 00:44:55,628 - Thank you, Sir. - My turn. 405 00:44:56,062 --> 00:44:58,261 Major William to Soldier Diana. 406 00:44:58,462 --> 00:45:00,695 Tell the Major what's happened to make you so sad. 407 00:45:01,595 --> 00:45:03,462 Sir. Don't know what you mean, Sir. 408 00:45:03,729 --> 00:45:06,595 I want the truth, Soldier. 409 00:45:06,628 --> 00:45:07,695 Sir. 410 00:45:08,695 --> 00:45:09,595 The past, Sir. 411 00:45:10,328 --> 00:45:12,261 I think it's the present, Soldier. 412 00:45:14,562 --> 00:45:16,295 I think it's in the future. 413 00:45:19,762 --> 00:45:22,361 Mummy, I actually have to open this or I'll be sick. 414 00:45:22,662 --> 00:45:24,595 For God's sake, then open it. 415 00:45:27,628 --> 00:45:29,662 Major William to Soldier Diana. 416 00:45:30,395 --> 00:45:32,628 Um... What's your favourite colour? 417 00:45:32,662 --> 00:45:34,595 - What... What's your favourite... - Sir, pink. 418 00:45:34,628 --> 00:45:36,395 No, um... Favourite food? 419 00:45:36,428 --> 00:45:40,695 Um... Pink, pink... um... hippopotamus cake, spotted. 420 00:45:41,295 --> 00:45:43,729 - What's your favourite animal, Soldier? - Oh... 421 00:45:43,762 --> 00:45:45,595 Lobster. 422 00:45:46,894 --> 00:45:49,328 - Lobster. - Why did you get me a lobster? 423 00:45:49,795 --> 00:45:53,361 Um... Because it's red like your cheeks, Sir. 424 00:45:53,395 --> 00:45:57,762 And it was flown from... um... 425 00:45:57,795 --> 00:46:00,562 It was flown from Santa's home all the way... 426 00:46:00,595 --> 00:46:01,762 Um... 427 00:46:01,795 --> 00:46:04,295 It's... it's Santa's... lobster. 428 00:46:04,328 --> 00:46:05,861 It's Santa's lobster, Sir. 429 00:46:06,628 --> 00:46:07,962 I wanted the truth! 430 00:46:09,328 --> 00:46:11,695 It's all the way from the North Pole. She flew here. 431 00:46:12,062 --> 00:46:14,562 - You have wings? - Definitely. 432 00:46:14,962 --> 00:46:17,295 - Soldier William. - Ah. 433 00:46:17,729 --> 00:46:19,628 Your perfect, perfect Christmas. 434 00:46:19,662 --> 00:46:21,361 Tell me all about it. 435 00:46:21,762 --> 00:46:23,628 My perfect, perfect Christmas, Sir, 436 00:46:23,662 --> 00:46:26,829 is not following the rules and doing whatever you want. 437 00:46:26,861 --> 00:46:29,894 - Eating with your hands. - Not showing up. 438 00:46:30,495 --> 00:46:32,462 What would that be like? 439 00:46:32,495 --> 00:46:33,795 That would be a miracle. 440 00:46:35,528 --> 00:46:37,462 We've never had a miracle before. 441 00:46:37,894 --> 00:46:39,495 Don't know what it's like. 442 00:46:40,462 --> 00:46:42,861 Soldier. Do you want to be king, Soldier? 443 00:46:46,361 --> 00:46:47,528 I have no choice. 444 00:46:49,995 --> 00:46:51,894 Do you want to be the queen, Soldier? 445 00:46:53,495 --> 00:46:54,695 I'll be your mum. 446 00:46:55,628 --> 00:46:56,762 That's my job. 447 00:46:57,595 --> 00:46:58,929 Do you get paid? 448 00:47:00,562 --> 00:47:01,662 Hardly. 449 00:47:02,795 --> 00:47:05,261 If I start being really silly in the next few days, 450 00:47:06,295 --> 00:47:07,361 just tell me. 451 00:47:08,695 --> 00:47:10,762 I'll only believe it if it's you who tells me. 452 00:47:10,794 --> 00:47:12,361 Okay, Mummy. 453 00:47:12,395 --> 00:47:13,662 Sure can do. 454 00:47:46,729 --> 00:47:47,662 Who is it? 455 00:47:47,695 --> 00:47:49,962 Your dresser, Your Royal Highness. 456 00:48:01,662 --> 00:48:02,929 Where's Maggie? 457 00:48:03,395 --> 00:48:05,261 I have dressed you before, Ma'am. 458 00:48:05,295 --> 00:48:06,395 Yes, I know. 459 00:48:06,628 --> 00:48:07,794 May I come in? 460 00:48:08,528 --> 00:48:09,761 Where's Maggie? 461 00:48:10,528 --> 00:48:13,428 I believe Major Gregory sent her back to London. 462 00:48:28,395 --> 00:48:29,995 It's very cold this morning. 463 00:48:43,628 --> 00:48:44,862 This is for breakfast. 464 00:48:46,628 --> 00:48:49,361 The next outfit, the one you chose for church... 465 00:48:49,395 --> 00:48:52,528 I suggest you wear a warm Merino long coat. 466 00:48:54,862 --> 00:48:55,995 How do I look? 467 00:48:57,361 --> 00:48:58,595 What do you mean? 468 00:48:59,029 --> 00:49:01,462 Right now, how do I look? 469 00:49:01,929 --> 00:49:03,261 Very nice. 470 00:49:04,528 --> 00:49:05,528 Hmm. 471 00:49:07,428 --> 00:49:09,662 - Happy Christmas. - Oh! 472 00:49:10,428 --> 00:49:13,328 - Happy Christmas... - "...Christmas, Ma'am." "Very nice." 473 00:49:13,728 --> 00:49:15,862 I'd really like to have someone I can talk to properly. 474 00:49:15,895 --> 00:49:17,295 When is Maggie back? 475 00:49:17,328 --> 00:49:19,761 - I really don't know, Ma'am. - That will be all. Thank you. 476 00:49:19,795 --> 00:49:21,062 I'm sorry? 477 00:49:21,096 --> 00:49:23,495 There's a designated dress which I will put on for breakfast. 478 00:49:23,528 --> 00:49:24,962 And I can put it on myself. 479 00:49:25,829 --> 00:49:27,562 Your hair isn't set, Ma'am. 480 00:49:31,295 --> 00:49:32,694 Tell them I want Maggie. 481 00:49:34,228 --> 00:49:37,361 Tell Major Gregory, who hears everything, that I insist on having Maggie. 482 00:49:39,295 --> 00:49:41,562 It isn't really Major Gregory who decides. 483 00:49:41,895 --> 00:49:44,428 No, he doesn't decide. There's never a decision to make. 484 00:49:44,462 --> 00:49:46,261 There's only what must happen. 485 00:49:46,495 --> 00:49:47,428 But even so... 486 00:49:48,929 --> 00:49:51,328 Tell them I insist on having Maggie. 487 00:49:58,462 --> 00:50:01,462 Or I'll cut all my dresses to pieces with a kitchen knife. 488 00:50:05,361 --> 00:50:06,627 Yes, Ma'am. 489 00:50:07,029 --> 00:50:09,962 Wait, don't say that. 490 00:50:09,995 --> 00:50:11,462 No, I don't mean that. 491 00:50:11,829 --> 00:50:12,929 Don't say that. 492 00:50:12,962 --> 00:50:15,261 Just say that I'd like Maggie. 493 00:50:16,962 --> 00:50:18,395 Though you're good, 494 00:50:19,361 --> 00:50:20,595 I would prefer... 495 00:50:21,328 --> 00:50:22,661 I would like Maggie. 496 00:50:23,428 --> 00:50:25,595 - Yes, Ma'am. - Thank you. 497 00:51:05,895 --> 00:51:09,495 Your Majesties, Your Royal Highnesses, smile, please. 498 00:51:15,729 --> 00:51:19,561 This will be followed by coddled eggs with cream sauce, 499 00:51:19,594 --> 00:51:21,862 Scottish kippers, brown and white toast. 500 00:51:22,328 --> 00:51:24,528 Accompanied by simmered herring roe, 501 00:51:24,561 --> 00:51:27,962 roasted muffins, quince jelly. Followed by fresh... 502 00:51:27,995 --> 00:51:29,594 This will be followed by fresh coffee 503 00:51:29,829 --> 00:51:32,762 with a selection of organic pastries and cakes 504 00:51:32,795 --> 00:51:34,096 from Highgrove House, 505 00:51:34,129 --> 00:51:37,929 a selection of organic Highgrove jams and marmalades with honey 506 00:51:38,628 --> 00:51:39,862 from Highgrove bees. 507 00:51:40,561 --> 00:51:43,295 Then, at ten o'clock precisely, 508 00:51:43,495 --> 00:51:45,428 cars will take all those concerned 509 00:51:45,462 --> 00:51:48,695 to St. Mary Magdalene's Church for traditional morning worship. 510 00:51:49,561 --> 00:51:50,762 But now, 511 00:51:51,662 --> 00:51:53,762 enjoy your breakfast, your Majesty. 512 00:51:59,829 --> 00:52:00,929 How do I look? 513 00:52:03,929 --> 00:52:05,295 You look fine. 514 00:52:08,729 --> 00:52:11,395 There is... one thing. 515 00:52:14,462 --> 00:52:17,261 The chickens laid the eggs, 516 00:52:18,062 --> 00:52:19,862 the fishermen caught the fish, 517 00:52:20,962 --> 00:52:23,695 all these little bees made the honey... 518 00:52:24,527 --> 00:52:27,729 They all made such an effort to bring you breakfast. 519 00:52:28,595 --> 00:52:29,628 Please, 520 00:52:29,662 --> 00:52:32,962 do them the courtesy of not regurgitating it all 521 00:52:32,995 --> 00:52:36,494 into a lavatory bowl before the church bells even ring. 522 00:52:43,562 --> 00:52:46,628 The peace of God, which passeth all understanding, 523 00:52:46,962 --> 00:52:50,695 shall keep your hearts and minds in the knowledge and love of God 524 00:52:50,895 --> 00:52:53,695 and of his Son, Jesus Christ our Lord. 525 00:52:54,595 --> 00:52:58,895 And the blessings of God almighty, the Father, the Son and Holy Ghost 526 00:52:59,562 --> 00:53:02,328 be amongst you and remain with you always. 527 00:53:02,995 --> 00:53:04,729 - Amen. - Amen. 528 00:53:28,762 --> 00:53:29,929 Come here. 529 00:53:31,695 --> 00:53:32,895 Thanks for the crab. 530 00:53:33,662 --> 00:53:35,595 It's awful. 531 00:53:36,361 --> 00:53:37,829 I got it at the petrol station. 532 00:53:38,595 --> 00:53:39,628 It's Christmas. 533 00:53:39,662 --> 00:53:42,361 It's the thought that counts. 534 00:53:52,795 --> 00:53:54,929 Did you tell anyone? Mm? 535 00:53:55,595 --> 00:53:56,662 No. 536 00:53:56,695 --> 00:53:58,995 I told Harry to hide his lobster. 537 00:53:59,029 --> 00:54:00,427 But he lost it anyway. 538 00:54:01,062 --> 00:54:02,394 Of course. 539 00:54:02,795 --> 00:54:03,929 Well, that's okay. 540 00:54:05,228 --> 00:54:06,829 There's lots of crustaceans to be had at the petrol station. 541 00:54:07,295 --> 00:54:08,461 - Mm? - Yeah. 542 00:54:14,427 --> 00:54:16,394 - You cold? - Mm-hmm. 543 00:54:16,895 --> 00:54:18,929 - Yeah. - Almost. 544 00:54:23,062 --> 00:54:24,929 Diana! 545 00:54:24,962 --> 00:54:25,895 Diana! 546 00:54:27,628 --> 00:54:29,862 Look this way. Give us a smile. 547 00:54:29,895 --> 00:54:31,628 And William! Will! 548 00:54:42,995 --> 00:54:45,328 Look this way. There she is. 549 00:55:05,795 --> 00:55:07,261 Diana! 550 00:55:08,862 --> 00:55:11,029 The public began arriving early this morning... 551 00:55:11,062 --> 00:55:13,295 Look, she's wearing the wrong one. 552 00:55:13,327 --> 00:55:16,929 She's wearing "Boxing Day lunch" when it should be "Christmas Day church." 553 00:55:17,562 --> 00:55:20,662 Does it really matter that she's, um, swapping them around? 554 00:55:20,695 --> 00:55:21,628 And those crowds... 555 00:55:21,662 --> 00:55:23,729 I mean, do you think I should tell someone? 556 00:55:23,762 --> 00:55:25,829 They might think it's me making mistakes. 557 00:55:26,360 --> 00:55:28,762 Oh, no. Oh, don't worry. 558 00:55:29,327 --> 00:55:31,261 ...as the Royal Family turned out... 559 00:55:31,294 --> 00:55:34,294 They'll know it's not you who's making mistakes. 560 00:55:34,327 --> 00:55:35,662 ...the Duke of Edinburgh. 561 00:55:36,662 --> 00:55:38,528 "Oh death rock me to sleep 562 00:55:39,862 --> 00:55:41,462 "Bring me to quiet rest 563 00:55:42,662 --> 00:55:44,995 "Let pass my weary, guiltless ghost 564 00:55:46,428 --> 00:55:47,929 "Out of my careful breast." 565 00:55:54,695 --> 00:55:55,862 Diana. 566 00:55:59,762 --> 00:56:01,595 Oh death, rock me to sleep. 567 00:56:31,962 --> 00:56:33,228 Pull! 568 00:56:40,328 --> 00:56:41,361 Pull! 569 00:56:55,729 --> 00:56:57,328 You have to say "Pull." 570 00:56:57,695 --> 00:57:00,260 - Pull. - Don't whisper it, say it loud. 571 00:57:00,995 --> 00:57:01,995 Pull! 572 00:57:07,062 --> 00:57:08,395 Again. 573 00:57:09,328 --> 00:57:10,361 Pull! 574 00:57:17,495 --> 00:57:20,895 You've got... You've got 24 hours. Just teach him. 575 00:57:20,929 --> 00:57:23,260 You move with the bird, you aim for the beak. 576 00:57:23,295 --> 00:57:24,528 Okay. 577 00:57:24,995 --> 00:57:27,227 One in three would be bearable. 578 00:57:30,662 --> 00:57:33,295 William told me before we came here he didn't want to shoot guns. 579 00:57:33,328 --> 00:57:35,995 I want to talk because someone aid something about clothes. 580 00:57:36,029 --> 00:57:37,729 - Will he be all right? - Yes, of course he'll be alright. 581 00:57:37,762 --> 00:57:39,962 Your dresser said something about clothes. 582 00:57:40,495 --> 00:57:41,528 I mean, will he be safe? 583 00:57:41,562 --> 00:57:43,995 It's perfectly safe, you wear protective glasses. 584 00:57:45,495 --> 00:57:46,995 How can it be safe 585 00:57:47,029 --> 00:57:49,295 if you have to wear protective glasses? 586 00:57:49,662 --> 00:57:52,628 Yesterday, you arrived after the Queen. 587 00:57:53,395 --> 00:57:55,295 - I got lost. - How could you get lost? 588 00:57:55,328 --> 00:57:56,962 You've lived over the hill for years. 589 00:57:57,662 --> 00:57:58,929 It looks different now. 590 00:57:59,729 --> 00:58:01,328 Everything looks different. 591 00:58:02,595 --> 00:58:03,895 Except the scarecrow. 592 00:58:03,929 --> 00:58:06,862 Yes, she says you took a jacket off a scarecrow. 593 00:58:08,462 --> 00:58:09,795 It was a bit of fun. 594 00:58:11,361 --> 00:58:13,995 You sure you weren't late yesterday because you were delayed by someone? 595 00:58:15,528 --> 00:58:16,495 Someone? 596 00:58:16,528 --> 00:58:18,595 I just thought someone might have delayed you. 597 00:58:19,795 --> 00:58:20,962 No. 598 00:58:22,862 --> 00:58:25,695 Sometimes you get delayed by someone. 599 00:58:26,762 --> 00:58:28,228 No one says anything. 600 00:58:29,462 --> 00:58:31,695 It's perfectly acceptable for you to be delayed by someone. 601 00:58:31,729 --> 00:58:33,562 How can you ask if it's safe? It's a tradition. 602 00:58:33,595 --> 00:58:35,462 Why did you send Maggie away? 603 00:58:35,495 --> 00:58:37,628 They said she left the curtains open. 604 00:58:37,662 --> 00:58:38,895 I left the curtains open. 605 00:58:40,029 --> 00:58:42,762 They are circling us. Didn't you know? Don't you read? 606 00:58:43,029 --> 00:58:45,829 They're hungry for anything. Why are you swapping dresses around? 607 00:58:47,929 --> 00:58:49,862 Why would you think I got delayed by someone? 608 00:58:49,895 --> 00:58:51,462 Oh, come on, come on. 609 00:58:55,695 --> 00:58:58,495 - He said he didn't want to shoot yet. - He's old enough. 610 00:58:59,762 --> 00:59:01,929 And you want him to shoot real birds tomorrow? 611 00:59:01,962 --> 00:59:03,562 For God's sake. 612 00:59:06,295 --> 00:59:07,462 Also... 613 00:59:08,295 --> 00:59:10,595 one of Major Gregory's men said he saw you 614 00:59:10,829 --> 00:59:13,462 wandering around in the grounds last night. 615 00:59:14,695 --> 00:59:16,428 I wanted to see my house. 616 00:59:16,462 --> 00:59:19,261 The police caught you but didn't report it. 617 00:59:19,295 --> 00:59:20,395 Gregory's men saw you too. 618 00:59:20,428 --> 00:59:22,862 - They're better than the police. - I wanted to go home. 619 00:59:22,895 --> 00:59:26,662 - It's boarded up. - Yes, but I wish it would be unboarded. 620 00:59:26,695 --> 00:59:28,662 But if I wish it aloud it definitely won't happen. 621 00:59:28,695 --> 00:59:31,462 You talk like a baby who isn't being spoilt enough. 622 00:59:34,328 --> 00:59:35,862 I would like it 623 00:59:35,895 --> 00:59:38,729 if you didn't make him shoot real birds tomorrow. 624 00:59:39,729 --> 00:59:41,261 And I would like it 625 00:59:42,762 --> 00:59:45,595 if you didn't buy me pearls because you bought us both the same thing. 626 00:59:49,762 --> 00:59:51,562 And if they're circling... 627 00:59:52,495 --> 00:59:54,729 it seems they're circling just me. 628 00:59:55,428 --> 00:59:56,328 Not you. 629 00:59:57,395 --> 00:59:58,528 Just me. 630 00:59:59,795 --> 01:00:01,762 Perhaps because I always take care to close my curtains. 631 01:00:19,962 --> 01:00:21,228 Look. 632 01:00:22,662 --> 01:00:25,628 The thing is, Diana, there has to be two of you. 633 01:00:27,962 --> 01:00:31,795 You... There's... There's two of me, there's two of Father, two of everyone. 634 01:00:32,562 --> 01:00:33,895 There's the real one, 635 01:00:34,829 --> 01:00:37,395 and the one they take pictures of. 636 01:00:41,595 --> 01:00:43,462 Now, we are given tasks. 637 01:00:43,962 --> 01:00:46,895 You know, I... I hated to shoot at first. 638 01:00:47,595 --> 01:00:49,862 I gave my gun to the other one, but... 639 01:00:50,662 --> 01:00:53,495 But you know, you have to be able to make your... 640 01:00:53,528 --> 01:00:55,261 body do things... 641 01:00:56,028 --> 01:00:56,929 you hate. 642 01:00:58,829 --> 01:01:00,261 That you hate? 643 01:01:02,395 --> 01:01:04,528 - That you hate. - That you hate? 644 01:01:06,562 --> 01:01:07,628 Yes. 645 01:01:10,628 --> 01:01:12,462 For the good of the country. 646 01:01:14,961 --> 01:01:17,361 - Of the country? - Yes, the people. 647 01:01:18,361 --> 01:01:20,328 Because they don't want us to be people. 648 01:01:22,862 --> 01:01:24,495 That's how it is. 649 01:01:27,062 --> 01:01:28,895 I'm sorry, I thought you knew. 650 01:01:49,395 --> 01:01:51,595 So please, stick to the list as it is written, 651 01:01:51,862 --> 01:01:53,595 in the order that it is written. 652 01:01:53,829 --> 01:01:56,829 - The dresser gets upset. - I want Maggie back. 653 01:01:56,862 --> 01:01:59,729 Someone heard Maggie saying she thinks you're cracking up. 654 01:02:00,029 --> 01:02:02,295 What? 655 01:02:02,528 --> 01:02:05,328 Yes, everyone here hears everything. 656 01:02:05,994 --> 01:02:08,729 They just don't always tell you what they've heard. 657 01:02:18,762 --> 01:02:21,295 This can be an opportunity to reflect on our own good fortune 658 01:02:21,928 --> 01:02:24,261 and on whether we have anything to offer, 659 01:02:24,295 --> 01:02:25,562 by way of example, 660 01:02:27,495 --> 01:02:29,628 to those who have recently broken free of dictatorship. 661 01:02:29,961 --> 01:02:32,562 We, who claim to be of the free world, 662 01:02:33,029 --> 01:02:36,295 should examine what we really mean by freedom. 663 01:02:37,295 --> 01:02:39,428 And how we can help to ensure 664 01:02:39,729 --> 01:02:42,595 that once in place, it is there to stay. 665 01:02:44,361 --> 01:02:47,628 There are all sorts of elements to a free society. 666 01:02:49,462 --> 01:02:51,729 But I believe that among the most important 667 01:02:52,528 --> 01:02:54,662 is the willingness of ordinary men and women... 668 01:02:56,361 --> 01:02:57,662 Good girl. 669 01:03:03,062 --> 01:03:04,428 Your Majesty. 670 01:03:12,395 --> 01:03:14,795 I really like the dress you wore on television. 671 01:03:17,361 --> 01:03:19,695 Wasn't the one my dresser recommended. 672 01:03:21,695 --> 01:03:24,261 They take a lot of photographs of you, don't they? 673 01:03:25,328 --> 01:03:29,595 The only portrait that really matters is the one they put on the ten pound note. 674 01:03:29,795 --> 01:03:32,662 When they take that one, you understand all you are, 675 01:03:32,695 --> 01:03:33,962 my dear, is currency. 676 01:03:36,595 --> 01:03:38,261 Come on. 677 01:03:52,528 --> 01:03:56,562 The turkey and the goose will be accompanied by the following: 678 01:03:56,595 --> 01:04:00,695 plum sauce, bread sauce, cranberry sauce, cloudberry sauce, 679 01:04:01,495 --> 01:04:03,462 potatoes, carrots and spinach. 680 01:04:03,662 --> 01:04:06,029 Three plums for the Prince of Wales. 681 01:04:06,062 --> 01:04:07,228 Organic carrots. 682 01:04:07,261 --> 01:04:09,662 Please, be careful which box we take the carrots from 683 01:04:09,695 --> 01:04:11,495 because he will bloody check. 684 01:04:11,828 --> 01:04:14,595 Parsnips, again organic. 685 01:04:14,628 --> 01:04:17,562 Okay, on to dessert. 686 01:04:17,595 --> 01:04:20,929 We have soufflé d'abricots, bread and butter pudding, 687 01:04:20,962 --> 01:04:24,528 a Christmas pudding chocolate yule log, plum pudding, 688 01:04:24,562 --> 01:04:26,895 mince pies, raspberry croquets, 689 01:04:26,929 --> 01:04:29,828 pastries, fondants, chocolate mousses, 690 01:04:29,862 --> 01:04:33,895 white chocolate mousses, crème brûlée. 691 01:04:33,929 --> 01:04:38,295 Finally, a selection of sweet and savoury organic biscuits. 692 01:04:38,328 --> 01:04:39,929 Organic biscuits from? 693 01:04:39,962 --> 01:04:41,794 Highgrove, chef! 694 01:04:42,462 --> 01:04:43,595 Yes, 695 01:04:44,029 --> 01:04:45,662 yes, bloody Highgrove. 696 01:04:46,862 --> 01:04:49,929 Right. Okay, the time now is ten minutes past three. 697 01:04:49,962 --> 01:04:52,495 Dinner will be served at eight p.m. precisely... 698 01:05:13,929 --> 01:05:15,761 What happens to the pheasants? 699 01:05:18,929 --> 01:05:21,261 What happens to the pheasants that my son will be shooting? 700 01:05:24,295 --> 01:05:25,628 After the shoot... 701 01:05:25,995 --> 01:05:28,361 we'll dress them and we'll pluck them and... 702 01:05:28,662 --> 01:05:30,862 everyone will take a brace home with them. 703 01:05:32,862 --> 01:05:34,528 There will be lots left over. 704 01:05:35,929 --> 01:05:38,662 The staff get some, the dogs get some, and the rest is thrown away. 705 01:05:40,428 --> 01:05:41,728 Thrown away... 706 01:05:43,462 --> 01:05:47,662 The pheasants are bred to be shot, Ma'am. But for the gun, they wouldn't be there. 707 01:05:48,361 --> 01:05:50,862 And the ones that don't get shot, they just get run over. 708 01:05:50,895 --> 01:05:52,761 They're not the brightest of birds. 709 01:05:53,562 --> 01:05:55,361 Beautiful but not very bright. 710 01:05:57,029 --> 01:05:59,361 Did you read the Vogue article about me? 711 01:06:00,661 --> 01:06:04,562 I've put soufflé d'abricots on the menu for you, your favourite. 712 01:06:04,595 --> 01:06:06,995 And I will make it myself for you. 713 01:06:09,929 --> 01:06:10,995 Fine. 714 01:06:16,328 --> 01:06:17,661 Do you mind? 715 01:06:21,062 --> 01:06:23,462 I've been reading about Anne Boleyn. 716 01:06:23,929 --> 01:06:24,895 Oh. 717 01:06:25,795 --> 01:06:27,795 I never remember which one is which. 718 01:06:28,295 --> 01:06:31,628 She's the one who was beheaded by King Henry VIII. 719 01:06:32,528 --> 01:06:34,795 Because he said that she was having an affair. 720 01:06:34,829 --> 01:06:37,829 But in fact he was the one who was having the affair. 721 01:06:40,029 --> 01:06:41,361 I think I saw her. 722 01:06:41,962 --> 01:06:43,228 The ghost of her. 723 01:06:43,261 --> 01:06:47,328 Everything you say to any member of staff here becomes currency. 724 01:06:47,528 --> 01:06:50,428 Do you understand? It becomes currency in these rooms. 725 01:06:50,895 --> 01:06:51,962 Good. 726 01:06:52,694 --> 01:06:53,829 Excellent. 727 01:06:54,995 --> 01:06:56,661 I'm prepared for my future 728 01:06:56,694 --> 01:06:59,528 as a face on a coin to be passed from hand to hand. 729 01:06:59,562 --> 01:07:00,929 No. 730 01:07:01,462 --> 01:07:02,995 You don't even think that. 731 01:07:04,795 --> 01:07:06,895 Did Maggie say that I was cracking up? 732 01:07:08,428 --> 01:07:09,627 Which one's Maggie? 733 01:07:14,462 --> 01:07:16,328 I thought she was my friend. 734 01:07:18,029 --> 01:07:19,528 Did she say it? 735 01:07:19,562 --> 01:07:21,261 I... I don't listen. 736 01:07:21,594 --> 01:07:22,594 I just cook. 737 01:07:25,795 --> 01:07:28,594 Some things are best not said out loud. 738 01:07:30,462 --> 01:07:31,661 Stories of ghosts, 739 01:07:31,695 --> 01:07:34,729 cutting off of heads and any odd thing that you might say, 740 01:07:34,762 --> 01:07:36,462 they get repeated here. 741 01:07:36,995 --> 01:07:40,328 But if I don't say it out loud, they read it on my face. 742 01:07:41,829 --> 01:07:43,594 - They can all see into me. - Ma'am. 743 01:07:44,062 --> 01:07:46,795 Usually when they sit at these tables and talk, 744 01:07:46,995 --> 01:07:48,328 they're laughing. 745 01:07:49,594 --> 01:07:51,962 At all the oddness and all the scandals. 746 01:07:54,328 --> 01:07:57,261 But with you, they do not laugh. 747 01:07:59,995 --> 01:08:01,829 They're gentle with you. 748 01:08:02,795 --> 01:08:04,395 And they're kind. 749 01:08:05,662 --> 01:08:07,395 And they are worried. 750 01:08:11,561 --> 01:08:13,328 They want you to survive. 751 01:08:14,929 --> 01:08:18,594 As the person you were when you first came here ten years ago. 752 01:08:23,628 --> 01:08:25,929 Do you have access to wire cutters? 753 01:08:28,295 --> 01:08:30,361 Why do you want wire cutters, Diana? 754 01:08:31,062 --> 01:08:32,462 To cut wire. 755 01:08:50,729 --> 01:08:52,261 Oh, go on. 756 01:08:52,795 --> 01:08:53,929 Fly away. 757 01:08:55,895 --> 01:08:57,428 Before it's too late. 758 01:09:01,862 --> 01:09:05,361 If you are going to fly anywhere, may I recommend Kensington? 759 01:09:06,695 --> 01:09:09,494 They wouldn't shoot you there. 760 01:09:09,795 --> 01:09:12,395 They'd make a fuss of your beautiful feathers. 761 01:09:13,561 --> 01:09:15,295 Look at the colours, they'd say. 762 01:09:16,795 --> 01:09:19,729 And everyone would start wearing feathers just like yours. 763 01:09:21,062 --> 01:09:23,328 You're so lucky, because you can wear the same outfit. 764 01:09:23,361 --> 01:09:24,196 Forgive me, Ma'am, 765 01:09:24,228 --> 01:09:26,361 But you need to get ready for dinner. 766 01:09:27,527 --> 01:09:28,662 It's almost five. 767 01:09:31,295 --> 01:09:32,494 Dinner's at eight. 768 01:09:33,628 --> 01:09:35,862 Your dresser needs to dress you Ma'am. Come, come. 769 01:09:35,895 --> 01:09:37,361 I'll be along shortly. 770 01:09:50,527 --> 01:09:51,662 Ma'am, may I? 771 01:09:59,528 --> 01:10:02,461 You know, some years ago I was in Belfast. 772 01:10:03,461 --> 01:10:05,328 The Falls Road. 773 01:10:05,361 --> 01:10:06,862 Sour times back then. 774 01:10:08,062 --> 01:10:09,494 We were in an alley. 775 01:10:09,995 --> 01:10:11,494 About to cross... 776 01:10:11,995 --> 01:10:13,762 I had a good friend beside me. 777 01:10:14,562 --> 01:10:15,662 A good friend. 778 01:10:16,695 --> 01:10:18,528 Soldiers become more than friends, you know? 779 01:10:20,129 --> 01:10:23,762 Anyway, to stop our legs from shaking, he was telling me a story. 780 01:10:23,795 --> 01:10:26,695 He was brought up in a farm up in the Highlands and he was... 781 01:10:26,729 --> 01:10:27,995 He was talking about some horse 782 01:10:28,029 --> 01:10:31,328 that his father had bought at the fair that couldn't be tamed. 783 01:10:31,662 --> 01:10:34,228 Lots of funny stories 784 01:10:34,461 --> 01:10:38,228 about this wild horse throwing his brothers around and such. 785 01:10:38,427 --> 01:10:39,628 But then he said... 786 01:10:41,295 --> 01:10:42,295 "But then, 787 01:10:42,762 --> 01:10:44,461 one fine morning..." 788 01:10:47,361 --> 01:10:49,595 In that moment, the bullet hit him. 789 01:10:49,628 --> 01:10:53,461 Back of the head, out through his nose. And he fell onto me and... 790 01:10:53,995 --> 01:10:55,361 I hugged him. 791 01:10:55,595 --> 01:10:56,662 Close. 792 01:10:57,562 --> 01:10:59,562 Saved myself from the next bullet. 793 01:11:00,328 --> 01:11:01,729 Hmm. 794 01:11:03,228 --> 01:11:05,762 Never did find out what happened to that wild horse. 795 01:11:06,360 --> 01:11:09,962 I asked myself, who do we soldiers die for? 796 01:11:14,862 --> 01:11:16,695 Then I remembered my oath. 797 01:11:18,360 --> 01:11:21,360 We all make an oath of loyalty to the Crown. 798 01:11:22,462 --> 01:11:24,360 It's not the human beings, you see? 799 01:11:25,427 --> 01:11:27,895 But it's the oath you chose to believe. 800 01:11:29,295 --> 01:11:32,562 Their faults, their weaknesses, that's not what you think about 801 01:11:32,595 --> 01:11:34,595 when you're in an alley in the Falls Road. 802 01:11:35,327 --> 01:11:37,729 You think only about your oath. 803 01:11:38,394 --> 01:11:39,595 And what that means. 804 01:11:42,695 --> 01:11:44,495 I don't want anyone to die for me. 805 01:11:46,062 --> 01:11:48,528 And I hope your friend's wild horse 806 01:11:50,327 --> 01:11:51,495 was never tamed. 807 01:11:56,862 --> 01:11:58,196 Ma'am. 808 01:12:00,029 --> 01:12:01,795 I've been asked to ensure 809 01:12:02,662 --> 01:12:03,862 that this time, 810 01:12:04,462 --> 01:12:06,327 unlike your arrival at the House, 811 01:12:06,695 --> 01:12:08,495 you arrive for dinner on time. 812 01:12:09,929 --> 01:12:12,929 It is Her Majesty and the House of Windsor I am pledged to serve. 813 01:12:13,462 --> 01:12:14,962 And I speak with their voice. 814 01:12:15,495 --> 01:12:18,695 So please, there really is no time for indulgence, Ma'am. 815 01:12:22,962 --> 01:12:25,495 It was you who put the book on my bed. 816 01:12:27,062 --> 01:12:28,628 What book? 817 01:12:29,762 --> 01:12:31,495 You put it there as a warning. 818 01:12:32,360 --> 01:12:35,795 I really have no idea what you are talking about, Ma'am. 819 01:13:28,862 --> 01:13:31,562 Ma'am, there seems to have been some confusion 820 01:13:31,595 --> 01:13:33,662 about which dress to wear and when. 821 01:13:34,895 --> 01:13:37,729 Yes, you reported my confusion faithfully. 822 01:13:38,929 --> 01:13:40,662 Perhaps you've taken an oath. 823 01:13:45,462 --> 01:13:47,762 The curtains have been fastened, Ma'am. 824 01:13:48,628 --> 01:13:51,695 That is, I was told to sew them by His Royal Highness. 825 01:13:51,729 --> 01:13:54,662 There have been reports of people in the grounds. 826 01:14:10,562 --> 01:14:12,328 They think photographers. 827 01:14:13,462 --> 01:14:14,662 We thought it wise. 828 01:14:15,595 --> 01:14:16,595 Yes, it is wise. 829 01:14:17,962 --> 01:14:20,428 - For Christmas dinner. - It's very wise... 830 01:14:20,462 --> 01:14:21,628 I took it in. 831 01:14:22,762 --> 01:14:24,295 You have lost weight. 832 01:14:25,528 --> 01:14:26,695 Shall we try it on? 833 01:14:28,328 --> 01:14:30,227 Ma'am, I will help you. 834 01:14:32,829 --> 01:14:34,595 How can you help me? 835 01:15:03,528 --> 01:15:05,528 I thought at first it might not fit me. 836 01:15:06,295 --> 01:15:07,628 But it does. 837 01:15:07,662 --> 01:15:09,929 There's even a little room left in it to accommodate for dinner. 838 01:15:13,862 --> 01:15:14,862 There we are. 839 01:15:20,328 --> 01:15:21,528 Hmm. 840 01:15:21,862 --> 01:15:23,029 Will you wear it? 841 01:15:23,062 --> 01:15:24,595 Of course I will wear it. 842 01:15:26,495 --> 01:15:28,729 It says on the label "Christmas Day dinner," 843 01:15:28,762 --> 01:15:30,528 and it's Christmas Day dinner. 844 01:15:30,562 --> 01:15:31,895 What else would I wear? 845 01:15:35,462 --> 01:15:36,495 Now leave me. 846 01:15:38,062 --> 01:15:39,462 I wish to masturbate. 847 01:15:41,328 --> 01:15:42,595 Ma'am. 848 01:15:46,029 --> 01:15:47,929 You can tell everyone I said that. 849 01:16:46,595 --> 01:16:48,595 Ma'am. 850 01:16:48,628 --> 01:16:51,462 - Dinner is served in 30 minutes. - God. 851 01:17:17,729 --> 01:17:19,829 Yes, I'm coming! 852 01:17:29,462 --> 01:17:30,361 Mummy? 853 01:17:32,295 --> 01:17:33,662 Mummy? 854 01:17:41,295 --> 01:17:42,395 Mummy, 855 01:17:43,495 --> 01:17:45,495 you said to tell you if you were being really silly. 856 01:17:47,428 --> 01:17:49,295 Mummy, you're being really silly. 857 01:17:51,295 --> 01:17:52,261 Please. 858 01:17:53,228 --> 01:17:54,628 Mummy, we have to sit down before Granny. 859 01:17:57,028 --> 01:17:59,729 Ma'am, dinner is served in ten minutes. 860 01:17:59,762 --> 01:18:01,462 Yes, we are just... 861 01:18:04,295 --> 01:18:06,395 Mummy, just switch off your mind. 862 01:18:06,628 --> 01:18:09,328 Don't think about it until after dinner. 863 01:18:09,795 --> 01:18:10,994 For everyone's sake. 864 01:18:14,695 --> 01:18:16,628 The chef has made soufflé d'abricots. 865 01:18:17,562 --> 01:18:18,895 It's just for me. 866 01:18:20,495 --> 01:18:21,994 It's not for them, it's for me. 867 01:18:22,662 --> 01:18:24,829 You've got like one minute to get dressed. 868 01:18:26,895 --> 01:18:28,295 You can do this. 869 01:18:30,029 --> 01:18:31,895 That's okay because... 870 01:18:32,395 --> 01:18:33,829 it only takes me one minute. 871 01:18:34,361 --> 01:18:36,428 I look great anyway. 872 01:18:38,628 --> 01:18:39,961 Did you see her in church? 873 01:18:41,328 --> 01:18:42,562 See who, Mummy? 874 01:18:45,495 --> 01:18:46,829 Jane Seymour, of course. 875 01:18:48,729 --> 01:18:49,762 Mummy... 876 01:18:50,395 --> 01:18:52,328 - I'll be one minute. - Okay. 877 01:18:52,961 --> 01:18:54,762 Okay... one minute. 878 01:18:58,528 --> 01:18:59,961 I just need one minute. 879 01:19:05,762 --> 01:19:07,829 - Just one minute. Sorry. - No, no! 880 01:19:07,862 --> 01:19:10,462 - It's okay, it's okay! - No, please, Mummy. 881 01:19:35,462 --> 01:19:36,528 Ma'am? 882 01:19:37,428 --> 01:19:39,361 Dessert is about to be served. 883 01:19:41,662 --> 01:19:44,395 The soufflé d'abricots is just for me. 884 01:19:47,762 --> 01:19:49,894 Ma'am, I've been told to wait for you. 885 01:19:51,729 --> 01:19:53,462 That's very kind of you. 886 01:19:54,795 --> 01:19:55,861 Very kind... 887 01:19:57,062 --> 01:19:58,361 Ma'am? 888 01:20:01,662 --> 01:20:02,662 Diana. 889 01:20:10,395 --> 01:20:11,361 Come. 890 01:20:12,328 --> 01:20:13,428 Emergency! 891 01:20:18,062 --> 01:20:19,328 Hold on. 892 01:20:20,295 --> 01:20:20,995 Fight them. 893 01:20:22,462 --> 01:20:23,628 Be beautiful. 894 01:20:25,595 --> 01:20:27,328 You are your own weapon. 895 01:20:28,295 --> 01:20:29,995 Don't cut it to pieces. 896 01:20:30,029 --> 01:20:32,861 Okay, but you have to stay with me. 897 01:20:34,861 --> 01:20:35,995 You can't leave me. 898 01:20:37,528 --> 01:20:39,729 - No. - Stay with me. 899 01:20:39,995 --> 01:20:40,895 Of course. 900 01:20:51,895 --> 01:20:53,528 Where is she? 901 01:20:54,428 --> 01:20:55,895 Ma'am? 902 01:20:58,895 --> 01:21:00,995 Ma'am, they are all waiting. 903 01:21:36,361 --> 01:21:37,395 Ma'am, please. 904 01:21:41,528 --> 01:21:43,228 Tell them I'm not well. 905 01:21:45,995 --> 01:21:48,261 Tell them I'm not at all well! 906 01:22:00,295 --> 01:22:01,662 Tell them I am not well. 907 01:22:02,829 --> 01:22:04,295 Tell them I'm not well. 908 01:22:13,029 --> 01:22:15,295 Go tell them I'm not well! 909 01:22:24,929 --> 01:22:25,795 Ma'am. 910 01:22:26,761 --> 01:22:29,462 I need a pair of Wellingtons. And a torch. 911 01:22:38,628 --> 01:22:39,694 Thank you. 912 01:22:40,694 --> 01:22:42,361 Where are you going, Ma'am? 913 01:22:42,995 --> 01:22:43,929 Home. 914 01:22:55,295 --> 01:22:55,962 Sir. 915 01:22:56,895 --> 01:22:58,895 The Princess of Wales has gone outside. 916 01:22:59,661 --> 01:23:01,728 She said she's going home. 917 01:23:03,428 --> 01:23:05,528 Really? How odd. 918 01:23:08,295 --> 01:23:09,862 I think that means she's going to Park House. 919 01:23:11,495 --> 01:23:12,929 It's dangerous, Sir. 920 01:23:12,962 --> 01:23:15,428 The stairs and the floorboards, they're rotten. 921 01:23:16,062 --> 01:23:19,328 If a princess wants to go home, who are we to stand in her way? 922 01:23:22,428 --> 01:23:24,528 If the constables report anything, 923 01:23:25,029 --> 01:23:26,528 tell them to let her be. 924 01:23:27,929 --> 01:23:29,495 That is all she wants. 925 01:23:30,062 --> 01:23:31,462 For us all to just... 926 01:23:31,795 --> 01:23:32,795 let her be. 927 01:23:34,029 --> 01:23:34,929 Yes, Sir. 928 01:27:22,995 --> 01:27:24,495 So. 929 01:27:53,427 --> 01:27:56,328 Diana! Boys! Get inside! 930 01:28:59,360 --> 01:29:00,995 Diana. 931 01:29:03,628 --> 01:29:05,528 You know he gave her a picture of himself. 932 01:29:05,795 --> 01:29:07,261 A miniature painting. 933 01:29:10,895 --> 01:29:12,929 She wore it around her neck. 934 01:29:14,929 --> 01:29:16,729 - Same as the one... 935 01:29:16,762 --> 01:29:18,628 that I wore around my neck. 936 01:29:19,862 --> 01:29:21,395 So I just tore it off. 937 01:29:23,962 --> 01:29:25,260 Go. 938 01:29:27,595 --> 01:29:28,662 Run. 939 01:33:47,061 --> 01:33:48,462 Are you real? 940 01:33:49,862 --> 01:33:50,729 Yeah. 941 01:33:53,729 --> 01:33:54,762 Yeah. 942 01:34:02,929 --> 01:34:03,929 Hey. 943 01:34:37,929 --> 01:34:39,562 They asked me back. 944 01:34:41,428 --> 01:34:43,929 They said they needed someone to talk to you. 945 01:34:43,961 --> 01:34:44,994 Hmm. 946 01:34:48,961 --> 01:34:50,462 Who is "they"? 947 01:34:51,361 --> 01:34:52,829 The Prince of Wales. 948 01:34:53,729 --> 01:34:55,495 That was good of him. 949 01:34:55,928 --> 01:34:57,495 He's not all bad. 950 01:34:57,961 --> 01:34:59,428 None of them are. 951 01:34:59,628 --> 01:35:00,662 No. 952 01:35:01,662 --> 01:35:03,528 They asked me to suggest that you see a doctor. 953 01:35:05,595 --> 01:35:06,829 They say you've been... 954 01:35:06,862 --> 01:35:08,395 cutting yourself again. 955 01:35:09,395 --> 01:35:10,562 Hmm. 956 01:35:10,595 --> 01:35:11,862 How do they know? 957 01:35:12,895 --> 01:35:14,795 - They know everything. - They don't. 958 01:35:17,628 --> 01:35:20,628 They don't know that Anne Boleyn saved my life last night. 959 01:35:23,762 --> 01:35:27,562 I've been imagining how they'll write about me in a thousand years. 960 01:35:28,528 --> 01:35:29,729 If you're Royal, 961 01:35:31,196 --> 01:35:33,495 the more time that passes, the fewer words they use to describe you. 962 01:35:33,528 --> 01:35:34,894 William: "the Conqueror." 963 01:35:36,295 --> 01:35:38,628 Elizabeth: "the Virgin." Diana... 964 01:35:45,462 --> 01:35:46,961 If I ever do become Queen, 965 01:35:48,395 --> 01:35:49,595 what will I be? 966 01:35:51,995 --> 01:35:52,995 Insane? 967 01:35:58,861 --> 01:36:00,961 He said that you told someone that... 968 01:36:01,528 --> 01:36:03,595 you thought I was cracking up. 969 01:36:05,528 --> 01:36:06,528 It's okay. 970 01:36:07,328 --> 01:36:08,662 But did you say it? 971 01:36:15,029 --> 01:36:17,328 Before I answer that question, 972 01:36:17,662 --> 01:36:18,662 - Ma'am... - Hmm. 973 01:36:19,595 --> 01:36:20,861 For what it's worth... 974 01:36:22,462 --> 01:36:25,928 I've never told you this and it probably means you'll have to fire me, but... 975 01:36:27,962 --> 01:36:30,228 well actually, I'm in love with you. 976 01:36:33,995 --> 01:36:35,295 Yes, I mean... 977 01:36:35,328 --> 01:36:36,894 I mean in that way. 978 01:36:39,595 --> 01:36:40,595 Completely. 979 01:36:46,962 --> 01:36:50,528 So, I suppose the one word I'd use to describe you 980 01:36:50,562 --> 01:36:51,729 would be "shocked." 981 01:36:53,295 --> 01:36:55,762 Diana: "the Shocked." 982 01:37:00,828 --> 01:37:02,228 Um... 983 01:37:02,695 --> 01:37:05,528 - Goodness. - Yes, quite. 984 01:37:05,562 --> 01:37:06,995 So what do you say to that? 985 01:37:08,828 --> 01:37:11,695 - I... - Shock does wonders apparently. 986 01:37:13,495 --> 01:37:16,361 And I know... I know you don't see me in that way. 987 01:37:16,395 --> 01:37:19,228 - No, I... - It's perfectly fine. I'm a grown-up. 988 01:37:22,794 --> 01:37:24,828 I just thought I'd lighten the gloom with something totally unexpected. 989 01:37:25,828 --> 01:37:26,695 Bam. 990 01:37:29,495 --> 01:37:31,861 Just think of all the times I've seen you naked. 991 01:37:36,861 --> 01:37:38,328 I'm surprised, but... 992 01:37:38,361 --> 01:37:39,628 completely... 993 01:37:39,962 --> 01:37:41,828 I'm grown-up about... this. 994 01:37:42,595 --> 01:37:44,462 No, you're not. You're not. 995 01:37:44,761 --> 01:37:46,929 You're having a childish giggle and I love it. 996 01:37:47,462 --> 01:37:49,628 Fuck doctors. What you need is love. 997 01:37:50,628 --> 01:37:53,729 Love, shocks and laughter. 998 01:37:55,462 --> 01:37:56,595 Plenty of it. 999 01:37:58,462 --> 01:38:00,495 - I... - You ready for that walk now? 1000 01:38:20,595 --> 01:38:22,662 It's going out. Further and further. 1001 01:38:38,361 --> 01:38:39,595 One hour to the guns. 1002 01:38:40,929 --> 01:38:42,595 Load the shoot boxes, please. 1003 01:38:46,062 --> 01:38:50,562 Eggs, dairy and cheese are our friends. Meats and oils our enemies. 1004 01:38:50,829 --> 01:38:54,261 Remember, salt cellars will lie down with the spices 1005 01:38:54,528 --> 01:38:56,295 on muslin bed sheets. 1006 01:39:19,328 --> 01:39:21,295 - Just do your best, okay? - Yes. 1007 01:40:19,328 --> 01:40:21,462 Park the car in the staff car park 1008 01:40:21,495 --> 01:40:23,595 and leave the keys in the glove compartment. 1009 01:40:24,361 --> 01:40:25,829 Why? What are you going to do? 1010 01:40:27,995 --> 01:40:30,428 I'm going to take my place among the pheasants. 1011 01:40:31,962 --> 01:40:32,929 No... 1012 01:40:33,462 --> 01:40:34,695 Seriously. What? 1013 01:40:34,729 --> 01:40:35,829 No, seriously. 1014 01:40:37,428 --> 01:40:39,862 Oh, Maggie, it's all just a bit of fun, isn't it? 1015 01:40:42,428 --> 01:40:43,395 Men. 1016 01:40:43,594 --> 01:40:44,962 Husbands, sex. 1017 01:40:45,895 --> 01:40:46,829 Mistresses. 1018 01:40:47,627 --> 01:40:48,627 Deceit. 1019 01:40:49,361 --> 01:40:50,361 Succession. 1020 01:40:52,361 --> 01:40:53,528 It's currency. 1021 01:40:54,795 --> 01:40:55,929 That's all we are. 1022 01:40:56,361 --> 01:40:57,762 I like nice things 1023 01:40:59,594 --> 01:41:01,695 that are simple, ordinary. 1024 01:41:02,729 --> 01:41:04,261 But things that are real. 1025 01:41:05,029 --> 01:41:06,995 You know, I really like things that are 1026 01:41:07,462 --> 01:41:09,395 quite middle-class, unfashionable. 1027 01:41:09,729 --> 01:41:11,261 I love Les Mis, I love... 1028 01:41:11,561 --> 01:41:12,762 Phantom of the Opera. 1029 01:41:13,594 --> 01:41:14,695 I love fast food. 1030 01:41:15,795 --> 01:41:18,361 I feel sorry for pheasants. 1031 01:41:18,795 --> 01:41:20,361 There's no hope for me. 1032 01:41:20,762 --> 01:41:21,862 Not with them. 1033 01:41:25,762 --> 01:41:27,762 I'm going to see you back in Kensington. 1034 01:41:28,295 --> 01:41:29,594 I can't wait. 1035 01:41:31,395 --> 01:41:33,627 - I'll have a pheasant feather in my hat. - Okay. 1036 01:43:41,461 --> 01:43:43,029 Saboteur! 1037 01:43:43,062 --> 01:43:45,695 Hold your fire! 1038 01:43:48,062 --> 01:43:49,394 Boys! 1039 01:43:50,695 --> 01:43:52,528 I want to take you home. 1040 01:44:04,795 --> 01:44:06,895 I'm not moving from this spot 1041 01:44:07,628 --> 01:44:09,261 until they come to me! 1042 01:44:18,795 --> 01:44:20,795 You'll just have to shoot me! 1043 01:44:36,962 --> 01:44:37,929 Go. 1044 01:44:40,360 --> 01:44:41,695 You... try to help her. 1045 01:44:45,528 --> 01:44:47,360 Your Royal Highness, do you want me to intervene here? 1046 01:44:47,394 --> 01:44:48,495 My sons... 1047 01:44:50,328 --> 01:44:51,895 are going to join their mother. 1048 01:44:56,062 --> 01:44:58,228 So everyone hold your fire. 1049 01:44:59,595 --> 01:45:00,628 Go. 1050 01:45:24,762 --> 01:45:25,628 Yes. 1051 01:45:25,929 --> 01:45:26,862 Okay. 1052 01:45:26,895 --> 01:45:27,895 Oh! 1053 01:45:37,462 --> 01:45:38,360 Come on! 1054 01:45:38,395 --> 01:45:40,862 - Slowpoke! Slowpoke! - Come on! 1055 01:45:40,895 --> 01:45:43,695 - Come on! - Do you want to be first? 1056 01:45:44,462 --> 01:45:45,528 Come on, Mummy. 1057 01:45:49,327 --> 01:45:50,695 Hang on. Boys. 1058 01:45:52,995 --> 01:45:54,662 Come here. Come on, come on. 1059 01:45:55,762 --> 01:45:56,995 Feet up, feet up. 1060 01:45:59,428 --> 01:46:01,260 What are we? 1061 01:46:01,995 --> 01:46:03,395 Seventeen and a half stone. 1062 01:46:04,528 --> 01:46:06,395 - There. - Come, Mummy. 1063 01:46:06,428 --> 01:46:07,829 That's how much I enjoyed myself. 1064 01:46:07,862 --> 01:46:10,428 - Ma'am, shall I bring the car? - Tell Major Gregory: 1065 01:46:10,462 --> 01:46:12,294 seventeen and a half stone. 1066 01:46:12,327 --> 01:46:13,327 Write it down. 1067 01:46:15,428 --> 01:46:16,795 Right here, Mummy? 1068 01:46:17,462 --> 01:46:18,929 Are you leaving us, Ma'am? 1069 01:46:18,962 --> 01:46:20,895 Yes! Isn't it terrible? 1070 01:46:20,929 --> 01:46:23,628 Yeah. Would you like me to make you up some food? 1071 01:46:23,662 --> 01:46:24,895 There's a lot left over. 1072 01:46:25,462 --> 01:46:27,495 No, I've promised them a real treat. 1073 01:46:28,361 --> 01:46:30,662 I missed your soufflé. 1074 01:46:31,029 --> 01:46:33,495 It would've only been wasted on me, anyway. 1075 01:46:33,729 --> 01:46:34,829 We need the keys. 1076 01:46:36,729 --> 01:46:38,428 There's also a note. 1077 01:46:53,562 --> 01:46:54,628 Bye! 1078 01:47:12,462 --> 01:47:13,628 Where are we going? 1079 01:47:14,395 --> 01:47:15,260 Home. 1080 01:47:17,595 --> 01:47:19,395 - I'm cold. - And I'm hungry. 1081 01:47:19,428 --> 01:47:21,729 Well, turn the heating up! We're going to eat. 1082 01:47:24,829 --> 01:47:26,729 Where are we going to eat? 1083 01:47:26,762 --> 01:47:27,962 Somewhere! 1084 01:47:28,395 --> 01:47:30,260 - Do you know? - Trust me! 1085 01:47:30,295 --> 01:47:32,428 - Do you know? - We'll find out! 1086 01:47:42,729 --> 01:47:44,862 All I need is a miracle 1087 01:47:45,361 --> 01:47:48,528 All I need is you 1088 01:47:49,795 --> 01:47:52,227 All I need is a miracle 1089 01:47:52,428 --> 01:47:55,227 All I need is you 1090 01:47:56,895 --> 01:47:59,361 All I need is a miracle 1091 01:47:59,395 --> 01:48:02,495 All I need is you 1092 01:48:33,862 --> 01:48:35,428 I love this car. 1093 01:48:35,462 --> 01:48:36,829 I love this song! 1094 01:48:36,862 --> 01:48:39,729 I'm gonna love you for the rest of your life 1095 01:48:43,962 --> 01:48:44,995 Let's go! 1096 01:49:05,395 --> 01:49:06,729 Can I take your order? 1097 01:49:07,862 --> 01:49:09,261 Three times chicken. 1098 01:49:10,628 --> 01:49:12,929 Three times fries. Two colas and an orange juice, please. 1099 01:49:13,729 --> 01:49:14,895 And what name is it? 1100 01:49:16,428 --> 01:49:17,428 Spencer. 1101 01:50:13,871 --> 01:50:18,871 Provided by explosiveskull https://twitter.com/kaboomskull 76728

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