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00:00:02,000 --> 00:00:07,000
Downloaded from
YTS.MX
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00:00:02,036 --> 00:00:03,271
* MTV. *
3
00:00:08,000 --> 00:00:13,000
Official YIFY movies site:
YTS.MX
4
00:00:09,177 --> 00:00:13,514
NARRATOR:
And now, a Paramount Plus
made-for-TV movie.
5
00:00:13,614 --> 00:00:17,618
"It's not a movie--
it's a made-for-TV movie."
6
00:00:18,486 --> 00:00:20,788
* *
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00:00:20,888 --> 00:00:22,723
NARRATOR:
From the green hills of Vermont
8
00:00:22,823 --> 00:00:24,892
to the verdant canyons
of Arizona,
9
00:00:24,992 --> 00:00:27,961
people all over the country
are beginning to realize
10
00:00:28,062 --> 00:00:29,863
it's nearly over!
11
00:00:29,963 --> 00:00:34,034
We have almost beaten COVID
and the best news of all:
12
00:00:36,904 --> 00:00:38,939
Infections are
at an all-time low.
13
00:00:39,039 --> 00:00:41,675
New, stronger vaccinations
have ebbed the tide.
14
00:00:41,775 --> 00:00:43,911
And we humans
are cleaning up the mess
15
00:00:44,011 --> 00:00:46,347
and finally
getting on with our lives.
16
00:00:46,447 --> 00:00:49,650
But as we start to get back
to our jobs and schools,
17
00:00:49,750 --> 00:00:51,452
one question remains:
18
00:00:51,552 --> 00:00:55,256
What lingering effects will
the pandemic have on children?
19
00:00:55,356 --> 00:00:58,959
Some say no effect at all.
The children are just fine.
20
00:00:59,059 --> 00:01:00,628
-(chiming)
-We came together
21
00:01:00,728 --> 00:01:02,130
and finally we can say,
we are starting to
22
00:01:02,230 --> 00:01:04,198
-win the war against COVID.
-WOMAN: Stan?
23
00:01:04,298 --> 00:01:06,200
Stan, the phone's for you!
24
00:01:06,300 --> 00:01:07,835
Stan!
25
00:01:07,935 --> 00:01:10,304
What?!
26
00:01:10,404 --> 00:01:12,340
Could you not hear me?
27
00:01:12,440 --> 00:01:14,642
Yeah, dude,
but I'm busy working.
28
00:01:14,742 --> 00:01:16,477
Working on getting drunk again.
29
00:01:16,577 --> 00:01:18,011
I'm not "getting drunk,"
30
00:01:18,112 --> 00:01:20,080
I'm an online
whiskey consultant.
31
00:01:20,181 --> 00:01:21,415
I'm doing research.
32
00:01:21,515 --> 00:01:23,451
Everyone needs
to leave me alone.
33
00:01:23,551 --> 00:01:25,486
The guy on the phone
said it's important.
34
00:01:25,586 --> 00:01:28,722
He said his name
is Kyle Broflovski.
35
00:01:29,857 --> 00:01:31,091
Kyle?
36
00:01:33,794 --> 00:01:35,696
-Hello?
-KYLE: Oh, hi.
37
00:01:35,796 --> 00:01:39,367
Is this Stan Marsh,
from South Park?
38
00:01:39,467 --> 00:01:42,035
-Kyle?
-Oh, dude, it is you!
39
00:01:42,136 --> 00:01:44,205
How have you--
How have you been?
40
00:01:44,305 --> 00:01:46,807
I'm... fine. How are you?
41
00:01:46,907 --> 00:01:48,242
I'm good, I'm...
42
00:01:48,342 --> 00:01:50,678
I know this is weird.
We haven't talked since...
43
00:01:50,778 --> 00:01:52,713
well, you know,
since it all happened.
44
00:01:52,813 --> 00:01:56,417
Yeah, well, the pandemic
is about over now.
45
00:01:56,517 --> 00:01:57,918
I'm moving on with my life.
46
00:01:58,018 --> 00:02:00,421
Stan...
you should come back here.
47
00:02:00,521 --> 00:02:02,556
There's a lot going on.
48
00:02:02,656 --> 00:02:05,193
There's nothing in
South Park for me, Kyle!
49
00:02:05,293 --> 00:02:07,195
I'm not going back there, ever.
50
00:02:07,295 --> 00:02:09,630
Look, dude, you remember
when we were little?
51
00:02:09,730 --> 00:02:11,699
When the pandemic...
first started.
52
00:02:11,799 --> 00:02:13,434
Us friends said
we'd always be there
53
00:02:13,534 --> 00:02:14,802
for each other
when things got bad.
54
00:02:14,902 --> 00:02:17,238
What do you mean?
What's happened?
55
00:02:17,338 --> 00:02:18,606
Stan...
56
00:02:18,706 --> 00:02:21,775
It's Kenny. He's dead.
57
00:02:21,875 --> 00:02:23,911
* *
58
00:02:36,023 --> 00:02:38,626
* *
59
00:02:38,726 --> 00:02:41,195
(audience cheering)
60
00:02:41,295 --> 00:02:43,364
ANNOUNCER:
Live from the Moderna Center
61
00:02:43,464 --> 00:02:44,832
in downtown New York,
62
00:02:44,932 --> 00:02:46,867
it's Late Night With Jimmy!
63
00:02:47,868 --> 00:02:51,239
Tonight's guest,
First Lady Tom Kardashian!
64
00:02:51,339 --> 00:02:55,976
And now here he is,
the king of woke comedy, Jimmy!
65
00:02:56,076 --> 00:02:58,145
(audience cheering)
66
00:02:58,246 --> 00:02:59,447
Wow.
67
00:02:59,547 --> 00:03:01,649
Wow, what a terrific audience.
68
00:03:01,749 --> 00:03:04,017
What a fantastic audience, wow.
69
00:03:04,117 --> 00:03:05,386
(cheering quiets)
70
00:03:05,486 --> 00:03:08,021
Geez, what's the deal
with these Mexicans, huh?
71
00:03:08,121 --> 00:03:09,290
(laughter)
72
00:03:09,390 --> 00:03:11,124
I mean, they have fabulous food,
73
00:03:11,225 --> 00:03:12,926
their country
has amazing beaches,
74
00:03:13,026 --> 00:03:16,230
and they're
really fantastic people.
75
00:03:16,330 --> 00:03:17,698
(cheering and applause)
76
00:03:17,798 --> 00:03:19,667
Wow, what a great audience.
77
00:03:20,568 --> 00:03:21,935
You know,
today I was on the subway
78
00:03:22,035 --> 00:03:24,238
and I saw an ad
for the Center for People
79
00:03:24,338 --> 00:03:27,708
Who Identify as Homosexual
But Were Born Bi.
80
00:03:27,808 --> 00:03:29,277
-(laughter)
-Have you seen this?
81
00:03:29,377 --> 00:03:30,544
Have you heard about this?
82
00:03:30,644 --> 00:03:32,079
I'll tell you one thing--
83
00:03:32,179 --> 00:03:33,647
those people are brave
and deserve
84
00:03:33,747 --> 00:03:36,417
-every ounce of our respect.
-(cheering)
85
00:03:36,517 --> 00:03:37,851
S-Stick around.
86
00:03:37,951 --> 00:03:39,687
First Lady Tom Kardashian
is here.
87
00:03:39,787 --> 00:03:41,789
We'll be right back!
88
00:03:41,889 --> 00:03:43,090
(band playing in distance)
89
00:03:43,190 --> 00:03:44,692
Jimmy, we got
a call from corporate.
90
00:03:44,792 --> 00:03:46,159
They want you to cut
the hummus joke.
91
00:03:46,260 --> 00:03:47,395
What?!
92
00:03:47,495 --> 00:03:49,129
It's hard enough
doing comedy these days.
93
00:03:49,229 --> 00:03:50,898
Now I'm getting notes
during commercial breaks?!
94
00:03:50,998 --> 00:03:53,000
You're just gonna have to joke
about something else.
95
00:03:53,100 --> 00:03:55,035
All right, fine, what else
is going on in the news? Quick!
96
00:03:55,135 --> 00:03:58,339
Uh, Amazon thinks they might
have discovered gold on Mars.
97
00:03:58,439 --> 00:04:00,073
Ah, Jesus. Anything else?
98
00:04:00,173 --> 00:04:02,376
Uh, that famous
eccentric scientist died.
99
00:04:02,476 --> 00:04:05,513
The millionaire philanthropist?
Dr. McCormick?
100
00:04:06,880 --> 00:04:09,650
Kenny? Kenny's dead?
101
00:04:09,750 --> 00:04:11,352
Oh, I'm sorry,
did you know him?
102
00:04:11,452 --> 00:04:13,721
We were friends when we
were kids. Let me see that!
103
00:04:13,821 --> 00:04:16,023
ANNOUNCER: "Very
mysterious circumstances."
104
00:04:16,123 --> 00:04:18,292
That's what doctors
are saying about
105
00:04:18,392 --> 00:04:19,760
the death of beloved scientist
106
00:04:19,860 --> 00:04:22,396
and humanitarian,
Dr. Kenny McCormick.
107
00:04:22,496 --> 00:04:25,299
McCormick was a pioneer of
science and technology
108
00:04:25,399 --> 00:04:28,402
who was always trying to unlock
the key to a better future.
109
00:04:28,502 --> 00:04:31,772
He worked tirelessly--
some say balls-out crazily--
110
00:04:31,872 --> 00:04:33,574
on new inventions and theories
111
00:04:33,674 --> 00:04:36,710
but somehow his biggest
questions seemed to elude him.
112
00:04:36,810 --> 00:04:38,879
The head of NASA said,
"We have lost
113
00:04:38,979 --> 00:04:40,714
"an innovator and a visionary.
114
00:04:40,814 --> 00:04:43,016
"Kenny was so brilliant
that most of the time,
115
00:04:43,116 --> 00:04:45,786
we couldn't even understand
what he was saying."
116
00:04:47,120 --> 00:04:48,822
Get me a first-class ticket
to South Park!
117
00:04:48,922 --> 00:04:51,625
What? You can't leave!
You have to get back onstage!
118
00:04:51,725 --> 00:04:53,293
The first lady is here!
119
00:04:53,394 --> 00:04:55,095
Tell Tom Kardashian to suck my
120
00:04:55,195 --> 00:04:58,231
P-P-Popsicles
that are in the green room,
121
00:04:58,332 --> 00:04:59,500
and that I am very sorry,
122
00:04:59,600 --> 00:05:01,301
and that he is
a fantastic person.
123
00:05:06,139 --> 00:05:09,276
* *
124
00:05:14,448 --> 00:05:16,249
WOMAN:
Stan?
125
00:05:16,350 --> 00:05:18,719
Stan, wake up,
I think we're here.
126
00:05:28,762 --> 00:05:30,030
So that's it, huh?
127
00:05:30,130 --> 00:05:33,066
-That's the town you grew up in?
-STAN: Yeah.
128
00:05:33,166 --> 00:05:36,770
Well, how does it feel to
be back after all these years?
129
00:05:37,571 --> 00:05:40,207
It feels shitty, okay?
Can you please shut the fuck up?
130
00:05:40,307 --> 00:05:42,743
Why did you even bring me
along if you're not going
131
00:05:42,843 --> 00:05:44,344
to let me help you
through this?!
132
00:05:44,445 --> 00:05:45,746
Alexa, stop!
133
00:05:45,846 --> 00:05:48,015
("Stir It Up"
by Patti LaBelle playing)
134
00:05:48,115 --> 00:05:50,283
(beeps)
135
00:05:50,384 --> 00:05:53,286
* *
136
00:05:59,192 --> 00:06:03,196
* I can't sit here
while I go nowhere *
137
00:06:04,031 --> 00:06:08,168
* Chase my dreams
through the polluted air *
138
00:06:08,268 --> 00:06:11,572
* Walking on a wire *
139
00:06:11,672 --> 00:06:13,240
* Running out of time *
140
00:06:13,340 --> 00:06:16,944
* There's no room
in this ol' heart of mine *
141
00:06:17,044 --> 00:06:21,381
* So much pressure
to keep holdin' on *
142
00:06:21,482 --> 00:06:27,054
* Pack my clothes up, baby,
I'll be gone *
143
00:06:27,154 --> 00:06:31,124
* Stir it up, I've got to
break it up now *
144
00:06:31,224 --> 00:06:32,893
* When I think about tomorrow *
145
00:06:32,993 --> 00:06:35,796
* I can't wait to *
146
00:06:35,896 --> 00:06:38,031
* Stir it up *
147
00:06:38,131 --> 00:06:39,867
* Got to shake it up now *
148
00:06:39,967 --> 00:06:42,069
* If I have to beg or borrow *
149
00:06:42,169 --> 00:06:43,671
* I don't wanna *
150
00:06:43,771 --> 00:06:46,740
* Take it anymore *
151
00:06:46,840 --> 00:06:49,009
* Got to break it up now *
152
00:06:49,109 --> 00:06:51,845
* When I think about tomorrow *
153
00:06:51,945 --> 00:06:54,515
* I can't wait to stir it up. *
154
00:06:54,615 --> 00:06:58,051
MALE VOICE: Come on in
and let your taste buds soar!
155
00:06:58,151 --> 00:07:01,455
Denny's is now
Denny's Applebee's Max.
156
00:07:01,555 --> 00:07:02,956
Come taste the difference.
157
00:07:03,056 --> 00:07:05,826
(woman speaking Japanese)
158
00:07:13,033 --> 00:07:17,037
(soft electronic music playing)
159
00:07:18,205 --> 00:07:20,040
(sighs)
160
00:07:21,074 --> 00:07:23,043
-Hey, dude.
-Hey, dude.
161
00:07:25,078 --> 00:07:26,680
Wow. This is crazy, huh?
162
00:07:26,780 --> 00:07:28,916
I mean, how long has it been?
163
00:07:29,016 --> 00:07:31,785
I guess...
since we were nine.
164
00:07:31,885 --> 00:07:33,453
Well, have a seat.
165
00:07:34,722 --> 00:07:35,923
What have you been up to?
166
00:07:36,023 --> 00:07:37,457
Oh, dude,
just all kinds of stuff.
167
00:07:37,558 --> 00:07:39,026
You know, getting stuff going.
168
00:07:39,126 --> 00:07:41,695
Got my own online
whiskey consultant gig.
169
00:07:41,795 --> 00:07:43,230
I'm totally happy.
What about you?
170
00:07:43,330 --> 00:07:45,098
Oh, I'm getting things
going, too.
171
00:07:45,198 --> 00:07:48,435
I'm doing a sort of counseling
online start-up thing.
172
00:07:48,536 --> 00:07:49,837
Really doing great, too.
173
00:07:49,937 --> 00:07:52,339
-Sweet.
-Listen, Stan...
174
00:07:52,439 --> 00:07:55,976
I know that we disagreed
a lot during the pandemic,
175
00:07:56,076 --> 00:07:57,645
but I hope we can
put that aside...
176
00:07:57,745 --> 00:08:00,247
Dude, Kyle,
I'm just here for Kenny.
177
00:08:00,347 --> 00:08:01,849
All right, well,
178
00:08:01,949 --> 00:08:04,484
there's something you should
know about the way Kenny died.
179
00:08:04,585 --> 00:08:07,087
Hi, guys, welcome to
Denny's Applebee's Max.
180
00:08:07,187 --> 00:08:08,922
I see you
got your menus already.
181
00:08:09,022 --> 00:08:10,190
As you're deciding
what to order,
182
00:08:10,290 --> 00:08:11,525
I just want to go over
a couple things.
183
00:08:11,625 --> 00:08:12,960
Now, of course, it is the future
184
00:08:13,060 --> 00:08:14,928
so we don't have any meat
on the menu.
185
00:08:15,028 --> 00:08:16,630
'Cause you know,
here in the future,
186
00:08:16,730 --> 00:08:18,866
we've all decided meat is wrong.
187
00:08:18,966 --> 00:08:20,200
Yeah, we know.
188
00:08:20,300 --> 00:08:22,035
Okay, and, uh,
you'll see there's
189
00:08:22,135 --> 00:08:24,237
some dishes made
from insect protein on the menu.
190
00:08:24,337 --> 00:08:26,439
That, of course, is because
here in the future,
191
00:08:26,540 --> 00:08:28,341
we've all learned that insects
are a valuable and sustainable
192
00:08:28,441 --> 00:08:31,645
food and we no longer
fear it as a food. Mm-hmm.
193
00:08:31,745 --> 00:08:33,280
We know, dude.
194
00:08:33,380 --> 00:08:35,515
Okay, well, if you have any
questions, please don't hesitate
195
00:08:35,616 --> 00:08:38,351
to say anything, because,
you know, it's the future.
196
00:08:38,451 --> 00:08:41,521
We've learned to all just
get along and love each other.
197
00:08:43,190 --> 00:08:45,225
Look, Stan,
Kenny was trying to find
198
00:08:45,325 --> 00:08:47,460
the answers
to some pretty heavy stuff.
199
00:08:47,561 --> 00:08:50,130
He felt like there
were people responsible
200
00:08:50,230 --> 00:08:51,732
for everything that's happened.
201
00:08:51,832 --> 00:08:53,433
Like who?
202
00:08:53,533 --> 00:08:57,070
That's just it. Nobody knows.
But whoever these people are,
203
00:08:57,170 --> 00:08:59,707
they didn't want
Kenny McCormick exposing them.
204
00:08:59,807 --> 00:09:01,875
Wait a minute. Token?
205
00:09:01,975 --> 00:09:03,543
Yeah, it's me.
206
00:09:03,644 --> 00:09:05,979
Just before he died,
Kenny was texting me
207
00:09:06,079 --> 00:09:07,815
that he was on
to something huge.
208
00:09:07,915 --> 00:09:09,416
And he was texting me, too.
209
00:09:09,516 --> 00:09:11,018
Saying he'd discovered
something that
210
00:09:11,118 --> 00:09:12,319
could change the world.
211
00:09:12,419 --> 00:09:13,654
And then he died,
212
00:09:13,754 --> 00:09:15,255
and the hospital won't say how.
213
00:09:15,355 --> 00:09:17,090
And that got us thinking...
214
00:09:17,190 --> 00:09:20,427
Oh, my God.
They killed Kenny.
215
00:09:22,930 --> 00:09:24,164
I'm just here for the funeral.
216
00:09:24,264 --> 00:09:26,867
I don't want to be a part
of anything else.
217
00:09:26,967 --> 00:09:28,201
Dude, there might be
people to blame
218
00:09:28,301 --> 00:09:30,303
for ruining our childhoods.
219
00:09:30,403 --> 00:09:32,105
So what do you wanna do, Kyle?
220
00:09:32,205 --> 00:09:35,108
Go on some bullshit adventure
like when we were kids?
221
00:09:35,208 --> 00:09:37,444
Maybe, maybe we can call
Jesus and Santa
222
00:09:37,544 --> 00:09:40,547
and ask them for help.
Is that what you want?
223
00:09:40,648 --> 00:09:44,184
It's the fucking future,
you guys. Grow up.
224
00:09:50,023 --> 00:09:53,360
Hello, welcome to
the Super 12 Motel Plus.
225
00:09:53,460 --> 00:09:55,729
-Can I help you?
-Yeah, Stan Marsh.
226
00:09:55,829 --> 00:09:57,530
I have a room for one night.
227
00:09:57,631 --> 00:10:02,169
Okay, I see you're in one of
our Mach Ten Super Plus rooms.
228
00:10:02,269 --> 00:10:04,571
Now, of course,
we only take Bitcoin
229
00:10:04,672 --> 00:10:06,106
and other cryptocurrency 'cause,
230
00:10:06,206 --> 00:10:07,607
you know, it's the future.
231
00:10:07,708 --> 00:10:09,609
We've all decided
centralized banking is rigged,
232
00:10:09,710 --> 00:10:12,479
so we trust more in
fly-by-night Ponzi schemes.
233
00:10:12,579 --> 00:10:14,081
Yeah, I know.
234
00:10:17,384 --> 00:10:19,319
So you walked out on
all your friends and then
235
00:10:19,419 --> 00:10:21,188
just hung out at a bar all day?
236
00:10:21,288 --> 00:10:24,825
Alexa, fucking just go
throw yourself out a window.
237
00:10:24,925 --> 00:10:27,160
I'm sorry.
I didn't quite get that.
238
00:10:27,260 --> 00:10:30,463
Nothing.
Alexa, turn on the TV.
239
00:10:30,563 --> 00:10:33,867
Oh, God, you are
such a piece of shit.
240
00:10:33,967 --> 00:10:35,268
-(TV chimes)
-You know,
241
00:10:35,368 --> 00:10:37,104
if you had
Remote Prime membership,
242
00:10:37,204 --> 00:10:39,106
you could watch Amazon movies
wherever you go.
243
00:10:39,206 --> 00:10:40,674
Would you like to get started?
244
00:10:40,774 --> 00:10:42,409
-No.
-I'm sorry.
245
00:10:42,509 --> 00:10:44,644
I'm trying
to be fucking helpful.
246
00:10:44,745 --> 00:10:47,147
Why don't you grow up
and start acting like an adult
247
00:10:47,247 --> 00:10:48,615
for once in your life...
248
00:10:48,716 --> 00:10:49,817
Alexa, stop!
249
00:10:49,917 --> 00:10:51,051
Fuck you!
250
00:10:51,151 --> 00:10:53,754
(news theme volume increases)
251
00:10:53,854 --> 00:10:57,624
Jon, I'm standing outside
the South Park Flash Rail Max,
252
00:10:57,725 --> 00:10:59,492
where hundreds of people
are coming to
253
00:10:59,592 --> 00:11:02,495
pay their respects
to Dr. Kenny McCormick.
254
00:11:02,595 --> 00:11:05,098
There's still no word
from the hospital
255
00:11:05,198 --> 00:11:07,300
on what exactly
killed Kenny McCormick,
256
00:11:07,400 --> 00:11:09,669
but letters sent to multiple
news outlets reveal
257
00:11:09,770 --> 00:11:12,439
that he might have
known his life was in danger.
258
00:11:12,539 --> 00:11:16,643
Dr. McCormick said,
"I am about to expose the truth.
259
00:11:16,744 --> 00:11:19,112
"In the event of my death
I have hidden away
260
00:11:19,212 --> 00:11:20,714
"all relevant information.
261
00:11:20,814 --> 00:11:23,717
My closest friends
will know where to find it."
262
00:11:23,817 --> 00:11:25,385
Dr. Kenneth McCormick.
263
00:11:25,485 --> 00:11:28,255
He wanted to make the future
a better place.
264
00:11:28,355 --> 00:11:32,259
Too bad he died, 'cause
the future certainly sucks.
265
00:11:33,493 --> 00:11:35,528
* *
266
00:11:43,003 --> 00:11:44,037
(doorbell rings)
267
00:11:44,137 --> 00:11:46,373
* Someone's at the door *
268
00:11:46,473 --> 00:11:48,375
* This is the doorbell *
269
00:11:48,475 --> 00:11:51,879
* It's the future
so doorbells sing. *
270
00:11:51,979 --> 00:11:54,047
Yeah, I know.
271
00:11:54,982 --> 00:11:56,784
Okay, so you were right.
272
00:11:56,884 --> 00:11:58,318
Kenny was on to some bad people
273
00:11:58,418 --> 00:12:00,387
and he hid something
for us to find.
274
00:12:00,487 --> 00:12:02,222
Yeah, I saw.
Only problem is
275
00:12:02,322 --> 00:12:03,656
I don't know
what he's talking about.
276
00:12:03,757 --> 00:12:05,625
But thank you
for saying I was right.
277
00:12:05,725 --> 00:12:07,560
You're welcome. It doesn't mean
that you were right
278
00:12:07,660 --> 00:12:08,929
about everything
during the pandemic.
279
00:12:09,029 --> 00:12:09,930
Because you weren't.
280
00:12:10,030 --> 00:12:11,498
Okay, well, obviously
281
00:12:11,598 --> 00:12:13,433
we're never going to agree
on certain things,
282
00:12:13,533 --> 00:12:15,068
so we shouldn't talk about them.
283
00:12:15,168 --> 00:12:17,805
Sounds good.
So let's go to Kenny's wake
284
00:12:17,905 --> 00:12:19,339
and see if anyone else shows up
285
00:12:19,439 --> 00:12:21,108
who might know what
Kenny's talking about.
286
00:12:21,208 --> 00:12:23,043
Let's do that.
287
00:12:26,579 --> 00:12:28,615
(busy chatter)
288
00:12:30,617 --> 00:12:33,486
Hello. Testing.
Hey, everybody.
289
00:12:33,586 --> 00:12:36,056
It's amazing to see you all
here for Kenny's wake.
290
00:12:37,157 --> 00:12:38,725
Wow, what a great audience.
291
00:12:38,826 --> 00:12:40,327
Uh, for those of you
who don't know,
292
00:12:40,427 --> 00:12:41,829
my name is Jimmy Valmer and, uh,
293
00:12:41,929 --> 00:12:44,764
I had to take an Asian airline
to get here today.
294
00:12:44,865 --> 00:12:46,566
You know what they say
about Asian airlines--
295
00:12:46,666 --> 00:12:48,235
they're dependable
and just as efficient
296
00:12:48,335 --> 00:12:50,103
as any other competent airline.
297
00:12:50,203 --> 00:12:52,672
(whooping and cheering)
298
00:12:52,772 --> 00:12:54,541
What a terrific audience.
299
00:12:54,641 --> 00:12:56,643
So many people
have come for Kenny today--
300
00:12:56,743 --> 00:12:59,779
so many amazing friends
I haven't seen in ages.
301
00:12:59,880 --> 00:13:02,682
You know, I had a friend once
who was a Polish hair stylist.
302
00:13:02,782 --> 00:13:05,685
Talk about an amazing haircut
at an affordable price.
303
00:13:05,785 --> 00:13:08,288
(whooping and cheering)
304
00:13:08,388 --> 00:13:09,823
Well, I know that
we're all ready
305
00:13:09,923 --> 00:13:11,791
to talk to each other
and share our memories of Kenny.
306
00:13:11,892 --> 00:13:13,660
So please just have fun
and we'll see you
307
00:13:13,760 --> 00:13:16,063
-at the funeral tomorrow.
-(applause)
308
00:13:16,163 --> 00:13:18,999
(electronic drumbeat playing)
309
00:13:19,099 --> 00:13:21,334
* We are all, you and me *
310
00:13:21,434 --> 00:13:24,504
* We are all living
in the future *
311
00:13:24,604 --> 00:13:26,673
* We are all in the future... *
312
00:13:26,773 --> 00:13:28,141
-(groans)
-Stan?
313
00:13:28,241 --> 00:13:30,277
-Stan Marsh?
-Yeah?
314
00:13:30,377 --> 00:13:32,679
Hi. It's Wendy.
315
00:13:32,779 --> 00:13:34,982
Wendy Testaburger, wow.
316
00:13:35,082 --> 00:13:37,050
Yeah. My husband, Darwin.
317
00:13:37,150 --> 00:13:38,718
Hey, pal, how are ya?
318
00:13:38,818 --> 00:13:40,921
Hey, guys.
It's Tweek and Craig.
319
00:13:41,021 --> 00:13:42,689
Oh, hey.
How are you guys?
320
00:13:42,789 --> 00:13:43,924
We're good.
321
00:13:44,024 --> 00:13:45,392
(straining):
I have a lot of anxiety
322
00:13:45,492 --> 00:13:46,726
being back
with all these people!
323
00:13:46,826 --> 00:13:48,595
Wendy's told me a lot
about you, Stan.
324
00:13:48,695 --> 00:13:50,864
How's everything
with the family?
325
00:13:50,964 --> 00:13:54,401
Excuse me, I'm gonna go
get, uh, drunk.
326
00:13:54,501 --> 00:13:56,736
-What's wrong with Stan?
-We're just...
327
00:13:56,836 --> 00:13:58,505
trying to find out
what happened to Kenny.
328
00:13:58,605 --> 00:14:01,574
I think this goes deeper
than you guys realize.
329
00:14:03,176 --> 00:14:05,979
Hey, Stan Marsh!
Good to see you.
330
00:14:06,079 --> 00:14:08,081
It's me, Clyde Donovan.
331
00:14:08,181 --> 00:14:09,449
Oh, hey, Clyde.
332
00:14:09,549 --> 00:14:11,784
What have you been doing
during the pandemic?
333
00:14:11,885 --> 00:14:13,386
Oh, you know, lots of stuff.
334
00:14:13,486 --> 00:14:16,423
Yeah, me, too.
Sucks about Kenny, huh?
335
00:14:16,523 --> 00:14:17,590
Hope they find
all the information
336
00:14:17,690 --> 00:14:19,559
-on that thing he hid.
-You know
337
00:14:19,659 --> 00:14:21,128
where he might have hid it?
338
00:14:21,228 --> 00:14:24,697
No, I don't.
But I bet someone here does.
339
00:14:24,797 --> 00:14:26,900
It's really great
to see you guys again.
340
00:14:27,000 --> 00:14:29,502
These past few decades
have been really tough.
341
00:14:29,602 --> 00:14:32,772
Yeah, sometimes I think
the pandemic really aged me.
342
00:14:32,872 --> 00:14:35,475
Kyle, can I talk to you
for a second?
343
00:14:36,276 --> 00:14:39,246
-Dude, he's here.
-Who's here?
344
00:14:40,313 --> 00:14:43,216
-Cartman?
-Yeah, but he's changed.
345
00:14:43,316 --> 00:14:44,584
Changed how?
346
00:14:44,684 --> 00:14:46,453
Yes, I know,
it's been a long time
347
00:14:46,553 --> 00:14:47,754
since we've seen each other.
348
00:14:47,854 --> 00:14:49,122
I'm doing really well.
349
00:14:49,222 --> 00:14:51,091
I'm actually the head
of Gespetzah Synagogue
350
00:14:51,191 --> 00:14:52,392
down in Colorado Springs.
351
00:14:52,492 --> 00:14:54,461
Can you believe it?
I'm a rabbi.
352
00:14:54,561 --> 00:14:57,998
Yeah, you know, when
the whole pandemic happened,
353
00:14:58,098 --> 00:14:59,299
I think it changed me.
354
00:14:59,399 --> 00:15:01,334
It really changed me
for the better.
355
00:15:01,434 --> 00:15:02,769
-It did?
-No.
356
00:15:02,869 --> 00:15:05,472
-He's fucking with me.
-What? Oh, yeah.
357
00:15:05,572 --> 00:15:08,175
Yeah, I get it,
the Eric Cartman you guys knew
358
00:15:08,275 --> 00:15:10,043
didn't seem like
he'd become a rabbi.
359
00:15:10,143 --> 00:15:12,179
But I found real meaning
in the Torah
360
00:15:12,279 --> 00:15:14,281
and then I found a great
Jewish woman and...
361
00:15:14,381 --> 00:15:17,284
let the spirit of the Talmud
guide our lives.
362
00:15:17,384 --> 00:15:18,952
Okay, jut knock it off, fat-ass.
363
00:15:19,052 --> 00:15:20,220
Dude.
364
00:15:20,320 --> 00:15:21,821
Wow, that's very big
of you, Kyle.
365
00:15:21,921 --> 00:15:24,824
Still living in South Park
and calling people fat-ass, huh?
366
00:15:24,924 --> 00:15:27,127
Wait, I'm sorry,
that was uncalled for.
367
00:15:27,227 --> 00:15:28,795
It's not fucking funny, Cartman!
368
00:15:28,895 --> 00:15:31,398
Stop pretending you
have a happy Jewish life!
369
00:15:31,498 --> 00:15:33,033
Hey, shoogina!
I'm sorry, I couldn't
370
00:15:33,133 --> 00:15:35,902
wait in the car anymore;
I had to meet your friends.
371
00:15:36,003 --> 00:15:38,972
Oh, that's okay.
Guys, this is my wife, Yentl.
372
00:15:39,072 --> 00:15:41,674
I've heard so many stories
about you all.
373
00:15:41,774 --> 00:15:43,543
It must have been amazing
to grow up
374
00:15:43,643 --> 00:15:45,412
in these beautiful mountains!
375
00:15:45,512 --> 00:15:47,981
Yentl? Her name is Yentl?
376
00:15:48,081 --> 00:15:51,384
Can we fucking stop this
and talk about Kenny, please?!
377
00:15:51,484 --> 00:15:55,422
-Oh, is that, uh...?
-Yeah, that's-that's Kyle, yeah.
378
00:15:55,522 --> 00:15:57,490
I'm sorry, honey, can you
just give me a couple minutes?
379
00:15:57,590 --> 00:15:59,392
I just need a few more
seconds with them
380
00:15:59,492 --> 00:16:00,527
and I'll be right out
to the car.
381
00:16:00,627 --> 00:16:02,029
Oh, okay, I get it.
382
00:16:02,129 --> 00:16:03,396
Nice to meet you guys.
383
00:16:03,496 --> 00:16:05,365
We'll see you at the funeral,
I guess.
384
00:16:05,465 --> 00:16:07,400
And I'm very sorry
for your loss.
385
00:16:07,500 --> 00:16:10,103
Bye, Mrs. Cartman.
386
00:16:10,203 --> 00:16:14,041
Okay, look, guys, Kenny and I
were still really good friends.
387
00:16:14,141 --> 00:16:17,144
He used to email me all the time
about stuff he was doing.
388
00:16:17,244 --> 00:16:18,411
Yeah, me, too!
389
00:16:18,511 --> 00:16:20,180
Well, so then maybe he also
390
00:16:20,280 --> 00:16:22,149
told you that
he was trying to find
391
00:16:22,249 --> 00:16:23,950
the origin of the coronavirus.
392
00:16:24,051 --> 00:16:25,718
What are you talking about?
393
00:16:25,818 --> 00:16:28,855
Kenny was obsessed with
how corona first got started.
394
00:16:28,955 --> 00:16:32,492
He was clearly on to something,
and then he died.
395
00:16:32,592 --> 00:16:34,894
I know we all want
to solve this for him.
396
00:16:34,994 --> 00:16:36,996
You know, in the Torah,
when Abraham
397
00:16:37,097 --> 00:16:38,298
first heard the word of God...
398
00:16:38,398 --> 00:16:39,999
Just knock it off!
You don't believe
399
00:16:40,100 --> 00:16:41,534
a word of that shit.
You're just doing all this
400
00:16:41,634 --> 00:16:43,002
to get a rise out of me.
401
00:16:43,103 --> 00:16:44,237
Kyle, you really think
402
00:16:44,337 --> 00:16:45,672
I would spend 40 years
of my life
403
00:16:45,772 --> 00:16:47,340
just to get a rise out of you?
404
00:16:47,440 --> 00:16:50,077
-Yes, I do!
-Same ol' Kyle.
405
00:16:50,177 --> 00:16:51,478
Well, I got to go, guys.
406
00:16:51,578 --> 00:16:53,713
I'll see you at Kenny's funeral
tomorrow.
407
00:16:56,316 --> 00:16:57,684
Maybe he's really changed.
408
00:16:57,784 --> 00:17:01,521
No. He is fucking with me.
409
00:17:13,032 --> 00:17:14,801
INTERVIEWER (on TV):
Sometimes I feel like
410
00:17:14,901 --> 00:17:17,170
things weren't supposed
to be like this.
411
00:17:17,270 --> 00:17:20,307
Like maybe there are others
in control of the way
412
00:17:20,407 --> 00:17:21,841
it all turned out.
413
00:17:21,941 --> 00:17:24,043
Is that what you're saying,
Dr. McCormick?
414
00:17:24,144 --> 00:17:27,747
Are you saying that there are
other people responsible?
415
00:17:27,847 --> 00:17:31,118
I guess what I'm trying to say,
Dr. McCormick, is...
416
00:17:31,218 --> 00:17:34,954
your theories seem to point to
some kind of people with power.
417
00:17:35,054 --> 00:17:39,126
Let me put it another way--
we've all seen the pictures
418
00:17:39,226 --> 00:17:41,594
of you working in Egypt,
lecturing at MIT.
419
00:17:41,694 --> 00:17:44,131
And you always seem to
come back to this concept
420
00:17:44,231 --> 00:17:47,400
of this mysterious
organization who is to blame.
421
00:17:47,500 --> 00:17:49,469
-Let me put it yet
another way, Dr. McCormick.
-Hang on a second.
422
00:17:49,569 --> 00:17:52,439
What was that?
Alexa, freeze the video.
423
00:17:52,539 --> 00:17:53,973
-What?
-Freeze video
424
00:17:54,073 --> 00:17:56,476
and reverse playback
ten seconds.
425
00:17:59,279 --> 00:18:00,513
Stop there.
426
00:18:03,683 --> 00:18:05,352
Enhance image 20%.
427
00:18:05,452 --> 00:18:06,886
Ugh. Whatever.
428
00:18:06,986 --> 00:18:08,855
(beeps, whirs)
429
00:18:10,390 --> 00:18:11,924
Shift right ten frames.
430
00:18:12,024 --> 00:18:14,026
(beeps, whirs)
431
00:18:14,127 --> 00:18:15,061
Enhance.
432
00:18:15,162 --> 00:18:16,696
(beeps, whirs)
433
00:18:16,796 --> 00:18:18,731
ALEXA:
Tegridy Weed?
434
00:18:18,831 --> 00:18:22,302
Isn't that your dad's
old marijuana company?
435
00:18:22,402 --> 00:18:25,738
Oh, shit.
436
00:18:25,838 --> 00:18:27,874
* *
437
00:18:34,514 --> 00:18:38,050
Hi. Welcome.
Welcome, my friends.
438
00:18:38,151 --> 00:18:39,719
So blessed to have you here.
439
00:18:39,819 --> 00:18:42,121
Hello, my child,
thank you for coming.
440
00:18:42,222 --> 00:18:44,090
-Yeah, sure.
-Wait, Stan?
441
00:18:44,191 --> 00:18:45,658
Stan Marsh?
442
00:18:45,758 --> 00:18:48,328
Praise be!
I haven't seen you in ages!
443
00:18:48,428 --> 00:18:50,029
I'm sorry, do I know you?
444
00:18:50,129 --> 00:18:51,464
Well, sure, it's me!
445
00:18:51,564 --> 00:18:53,866
Scott Malkinson!
Remember me?
446
00:18:54,701 --> 00:18:56,936
-Uh, no, sorry.
-I hung out with you guys
447
00:18:57,036 --> 00:18:58,805
all the time
when we were little.
448
00:18:58,905 --> 00:19:00,640
I was the kid with the lisp.
449
00:19:00,740 --> 00:19:03,643
-Who had diabetes?
-Oh, yeah, sure...
450
00:19:03,743 --> 00:19:06,213
Great to see you again.
451
00:19:07,013 --> 00:19:08,715
Hey, guys.
Great to see you in church.
452
00:19:08,815 --> 00:19:10,883
-It's Scott Malkinson.
-Who?
453
00:19:10,983 --> 00:19:13,353
Scott Malkinson, I went
to school with you guys?
454
00:19:13,453 --> 00:19:14,754
Oh, okay.
455
00:19:14,854 --> 00:19:18,725
Hello. Welcome. Hey!
It's me! Scott Malkinson!
456
00:19:18,825 --> 00:19:21,494
With the diabetes. No?
457
00:19:22,362 --> 00:19:26,599
Kenny McCormick was
a cherished son, a wise man,
458
00:19:26,699 --> 00:19:28,134
and a wonderful friend.
459
00:19:28,235 --> 00:19:30,169
Kenny touched all
of our lives and made
460
00:19:30,270 --> 00:19:34,207
each and every one of us
laugh, cry and ponder.
461
00:19:34,307 --> 00:19:35,708
And in his death,
462
00:19:35,808 --> 00:19:38,511
now we can reflect on
our own lives.
463
00:19:38,611 --> 00:19:40,880
Are we happy?
464
00:19:40,980 --> 00:19:44,217
Are we the person
we hoped to be?
465
00:19:44,317 --> 00:19:47,820
Have we, like Kenny,
given all that we can
466
00:19:47,920 --> 00:19:50,056
to forgive those around us?
467
00:19:50,156 --> 00:19:51,724
For life is short,
468
00:19:51,824 --> 00:19:54,794
and our family and friends
must be cherished.
469
00:19:54,894 --> 00:19:58,298
You know, in many ways,
death is like diabetes.
470
00:19:58,398 --> 00:20:01,133
You spend your whole life
trying to fight it off
471
00:20:01,234 --> 00:20:03,903
but ultimately it just wins.
472
00:20:04,003 --> 00:20:07,574
And so let's take the time now
to reach out to our friends.
473
00:20:07,674 --> 00:20:09,108
To reach out to our family.
474
00:20:09,208 --> 00:20:11,744
To tell our mothers
and our fathers that we...
475
00:20:11,844 --> 00:20:14,747
All right! All right! Who
the fuck put you up to this?
476
00:20:14,847 --> 00:20:16,916
Did you write
this goddamn speech, Kyle?
477
00:20:17,016 --> 00:20:18,685
Did you tell him
to say all this stuff?
478
00:20:18,785 --> 00:20:21,120
What the fuck
are you talking about?
479
00:20:21,220 --> 00:20:23,122
You know that I know something
about Kenny
480
00:20:23,222 --> 00:20:25,525
that I'm not telling you because
it involves my father,
481
00:20:25,625 --> 00:20:27,093
who I don't want to face!
482
00:20:27,193 --> 00:20:29,762
That's crazy and you'd be able
to face what happened
483
00:20:29,862 --> 00:20:32,064
to your family if you
weren't a fucking asshole!
484
00:20:32,164 --> 00:20:34,601
Guys, please,
this is a house of God.
485
00:20:34,701 --> 00:20:36,035
You shut the fuck up!
486
00:20:36,135 --> 00:20:39,205
You judge me,
you all sit here and judge me.
487
00:20:39,306 --> 00:20:41,040
Well, fuck all of you!
488
00:20:41,140 --> 00:20:43,910
This is exactly why I moved out
of this hick-ass town!
489
00:20:44,010 --> 00:20:45,912
And I am going back home
to the city!
490
00:20:46,012 --> 00:20:48,281
My child, please,
we are gathered in Christ...
491
00:20:48,381 --> 00:20:49,816
(mockingly): My child, please,
we are gathered in Christ.
492
00:20:49,916 --> 00:20:52,719
I'm Scott Malkinson.
I have diabetes.
493
00:20:55,254 --> 00:20:57,156
He does remember me!
494
00:20:57,256 --> 00:20:59,592
Alexa, start the car!
495
00:21:00,527 --> 00:21:02,329
Start the car?
Where are you going?
496
00:21:02,429 --> 00:21:04,764
I need to stop at a store
and then we're going home.
497
00:21:04,864 --> 00:21:06,433
What about the connection
you just found
498
00:21:06,533 --> 00:21:07,834
between Kenny and your father?
499
00:21:07,934 --> 00:21:10,169
Alexa, find the nearest
liquor store.
500
00:21:10,269 --> 00:21:11,771
Oh, you wanna get drunk?
501
00:21:11,871 --> 00:21:13,773
Let me guess-- someone said
something you didn't like
502
00:21:13,873 --> 00:21:16,008
and it made you want to
pound beer and wine?
503
00:21:16,108 --> 00:21:17,910
It's not
"pounding beer and wine."
504
00:21:18,010 --> 00:21:19,946
I drop wine shots into the beer.
505
00:21:20,046 --> 00:21:22,181
It's called a "smorgasvein"
and it's very cultural!
506
00:21:22,281 --> 00:21:25,151
Stop acting like a child and
support your dead friend, Stan!
507
00:21:25,251 --> 00:21:28,120
-You don't even have any...
-Alexa, stop!
508
00:21:29,589 --> 00:21:30,723
(car beeps)
509
00:21:30,823 --> 00:21:33,025
(tires screeching)
510
00:21:34,126 --> 00:21:35,895
Thank you.
Thank you, Father.
511
00:21:35,995 --> 00:21:38,331
Hello, everyone.
My name is Rabbi Cartman
512
00:21:38,431 --> 00:21:42,001
and I was Kenny McCormick's
very, very best friend.
513
00:21:42,101 --> 00:21:46,272
Kenny was not a Jew,
but he had so many
514
00:21:46,373 --> 00:21:48,007
amazing Jewish qualities.
515
00:21:48,107 --> 00:21:50,176
Qualities that I see
in my loving wife
516
00:21:50,276 --> 00:21:53,846
and my amazing kids,
that are right over there.
517
00:21:53,946 --> 00:21:55,615
Over there by Kyle.
518
00:21:55,715 --> 00:21:57,950
And as we all return now
to our homes
519
00:21:58,050 --> 00:22:00,820
and our lives, I think that--
a lot like Abraham--
520
00:22:00,920 --> 00:22:03,490
-let's not forget that...
-Excuse me. Everyone?
521
00:22:03,590 --> 00:22:04,924
Hello?
522
00:22:05,024 --> 00:22:07,026
Everyone, can I have
your attention, please?
523
00:22:07,126 --> 00:22:10,830
We got results from the PNR scan
of Dr. McCormick's remains
524
00:22:10,930 --> 00:22:13,065
and we now know
the cause of his death.
525
00:22:13,165 --> 00:22:16,536
-(murmuring)
-Now we all need to stay calm.
526
00:22:16,636 --> 00:22:19,472
There is no reason
to panic, but...
527
00:22:19,572 --> 00:22:21,874
Kenny died of COVID.
528
00:22:21,974 --> 00:22:23,242
It's a new variant.
529
00:22:23,342 --> 00:22:27,847
The COVID Delta Plus
Rewards Program variant.
530
00:22:28,681 --> 00:22:30,650
(all screaming)
531
00:22:30,750 --> 00:22:32,084
Everyone, please!
532
00:22:32,184 --> 00:22:33,753
We cannot panic!
533
00:22:33,853 --> 00:22:36,088
(all screaming and clamoring)
534
00:22:39,191 --> 00:22:41,928
(whooshing)
535
00:22:42,729 --> 00:22:45,398
(all screaming)
536
00:22:50,970 --> 00:22:53,105
That's it! We're all out
of chin diapers!
537
00:22:53,205 --> 00:22:55,875
Oh, God, we're all out
of chin diapers!
538
00:22:55,975 --> 00:22:59,311
(frantic groaning)
539
00:22:59,412 --> 00:23:00,447
Zoom...
540
00:23:00,547 --> 00:23:01,848
(muttering)
541
00:23:01,948 --> 00:23:03,583
Come on, come on, come on!
Remote learning!
542
00:23:03,683 --> 00:23:05,618
Come on, come on, come on!
543
00:23:05,718 --> 00:23:09,255
(horns honking)
544
00:23:12,459 --> 00:23:13,860
Alexa, what's going on?
545
00:23:13,960 --> 00:23:16,829
ALEXA: There's some kind
of road closure ahead.
546
00:23:23,369 --> 00:23:26,806
Set up a perimeter!
I want all exit points sealed.
547
00:23:31,478 --> 00:23:33,112
People of South Park,
548
00:23:33,212 --> 00:23:36,048
there is an outbreak of COVID
in your community.
549
00:23:36,148 --> 00:23:37,917
You are being quarantined.
550
00:23:38,718 --> 00:23:42,088
Hey, dude! I don't live here.
I need to get home!
551
00:23:42,188 --> 00:23:44,924
Nobody is going in or out.
552
00:23:45,024 --> 00:23:48,060
We have confirmation that
one person in this community
553
00:23:48,160 --> 00:23:50,563
has never been vaccinated
against COVID,
554
00:23:50,663 --> 00:23:52,899
so we must quarantine everyone.
555
00:23:52,999 --> 00:23:55,635
One person?!
Well, who is it?!
556
00:23:55,735 --> 00:23:57,904
We are not allowed to say.
557
00:23:58,004 --> 00:24:00,106
But if you tell us who
the unvaccinated person is,
558
00:24:00,206 --> 00:24:02,575
we can have them vaccinated
and then this will all be over!
559
00:24:02,675 --> 00:24:06,178
We can't tell you who it is
because, in case you forgot,
560
00:24:06,278 --> 00:24:09,749
it's the future, and we don't
single out or ridicule anyone
561
00:24:09,849 --> 00:24:11,784
for their personal beliefs.
562
00:24:11,884 --> 00:24:14,020
Gah! I hate the future!
563
00:24:14,120 --> 00:24:15,922
What does this mean?
564
00:24:16,022 --> 00:24:17,924
Yeah, what's it mean, Daddy?
565
00:24:18,024 --> 00:24:19,992
I think it means...
566
00:24:20,092 --> 00:24:22,294
we're all stuck in South Park.
567
00:24:23,329 --> 00:24:25,932
(busy chatter)
568
00:24:27,934 --> 00:24:29,101
-(groans)
-Okay, there we go.
569
00:24:29,201 --> 00:24:30,302
We'll get back
with the results.
570
00:24:30,402 --> 00:24:31,771
Maintain six feet
social distance
571
00:24:31,871 --> 00:24:33,205
and stay indoors.
Thank you.
572
00:24:33,305 --> 00:24:34,406
Next, please!
573
00:24:35,174 --> 00:24:36,943
Yeah, listen, I have to
get out of here.
574
00:24:37,043 --> 00:24:38,177
Yes, don't we all.
575
00:24:38,277 --> 00:24:39,679
No, no, no,
I don't belong here
576
00:24:39,779 --> 00:24:41,213
and I don't have
anywhere to stay.
577
00:24:41,313 --> 00:24:43,049
They've shut down
all the motels.
578
00:24:43,149 --> 00:24:45,317
Do you have any friends or
family that you can stay with?
579
00:24:45,417 --> 00:24:47,119
No, these people
are not my friends
580
00:24:47,219 --> 00:24:48,788
and I have no family here.
581
00:24:48,888 --> 00:24:50,723
-Oka-- (groans)
-It's okay.
582
00:24:50,823 --> 00:24:52,291
They've set up
an emergency shelter
583
00:24:52,391 --> 00:24:54,827
for all the people who were here
from out of town.
584
00:24:54,927 --> 00:24:57,129
Where?
585
00:24:59,932 --> 00:25:03,002
(indistinct chatter)
586
00:25:12,011 --> 00:25:13,613
PC PRINCIPAL: All right,
everyone, listen up.
587
00:25:13,713 --> 00:25:15,047
No way.
588
00:25:15,147 --> 00:25:17,183
Welcome to
South Park Elementary.
589
00:25:17,283 --> 00:25:19,451
We want to help you all
be as comfortable as possible.
590
00:25:19,552 --> 00:25:21,854
So we will have quiet time
from 9:00 p.m.
591
00:25:21,954 --> 00:25:24,290
to 6:00 a.m. every day.
I don't want to hear
592
00:25:24,390 --> 00:25:27,259
any fucking gender-specific
language in here.
593
00:25:27,359 --> 00:25:29,562
And if anybody here
casts a movie with someone
594
00:25:29,662 --> 00:25:31,964
other than the culture
that that movie is about,
595
00:25:32,064 --> 00:25:33,600
you are fucking out of here!
596
00:25:33,700 --> 00:25:38,337
All right, thank you.
It is now 9:01. Lights out.
597
00:25:42,575 --> 00:25:44,811
* *
598
00:25:50,049 --> 00:25:53,052
It's been a long time
since I've prayed.
599
00:25:54,020 --> 00:25:56,355
I don't know
if anyone can hear me...
600
00:25:56,455 --> 00:25:59,225
but we all really
need help right now.
601
00:26:00,026 --> 00:26:02,494
I know in my heart
that Kenny didn't just die
602
00:26:02,595 --> 00:26:04,864
of some new COVID variant.
603
00:26:04,964 --> 00:26:08,334
I know there's something
way bigger going on.
604
00:26:08,434 --> 00:26:11,871
But it all seems like
so much to take on.
605
00:26:11,971 --> 00:26:14,540
Please, if there's
anyone who could
606
00:26:14,641 --> 00:26:18,945
help see me through this,
it would be a miracle.
607
00:26:19,879 --> 00:26:20,947
(water splashes)
608
00:26:21,047 --> 00:26:23,315
* *
609
00:26:34,460 --> 00:26:35,728
(doorbell rings)
610
00:26:35,828 --> 00:26:38,297
* Someone's at the door *
611
00:26:38,397 --> 00:26:40,833
-(groans)
-* This is the doorbell *
612
00:26:40,933 --> 00:26:42,669
* Apparently in the future *
613
00:26:42,769 --> 00:26:45,204
* All doorbells
sing, sing, sing. *
614
00:26:45,304 --> 00:26:48,507
Yeah, I fucking know,
goddamn it!
615
00:26:49,275 --> 00:26:52,411
Hey, Kyle.
Oh, man, this is crazy, huh?
616
00:26:52,511 --> 00:26:55,147
The school is all filled up
and the motels are shut down.
617
00:26:55,247 --> 00:26:57,049
I was, I was just hoping
maybe we could crash here.
618
00:26:57,149 --> 00:27:00,086
Look, I, uh,
I don't think that's gonna work.
619
00:27:00,186 --> 00:27:02,421
I figured Stan is probably
staying with you, too?
620
00:27:02,521 --> 00:27:03,756
No. No, he's not.
621
00:27:03,856 --> 00:27:06,025
Oh, great!
Then you have some extra rooms.
622
00:27:06,125 --> 00:27:08,928
-We're gonna be okay, kids!
-KIDS: Yay!
623
00:27:09,028 --> 00:27:10,329
No, no, Cartman,
I'm sure there are
624
00:27:10,429 --> 00:27:11,898
some other places you can stay.
625
00:27:11,998 --> 00:27:13,399
My family would be
really comfortable
626
00:27:13,499 --> 00:27:16,602
in a nice Jewish home.
Please, Kyle, for my kids.
627
00:27:17,536 --> 00:27:20,172
We promise we'll be good,
Uncle Kyle.
628
00:27:20,272 --> 00:27:21,774
Please, Uncle Kyle?
629
00:27:21,874 --> 00:27:23,910
Please,
Uncle Kyle?
630
00:27:24,010 --> 00:27:25,344
I can't believe this.
631
00:27:25,444 --> 00:27:27,313
Come on, kids!
Oh, bless you, Kyle.
632
00:27:27,413 --> 00:27:29,181
Don't worry,
I'll put them right to bed.
633
00:27:29,281 --> 00:27:31,383
You won't even know we're here.
634
00:27:31,483 --> 00:27:33,652
Toda raba, Uncle Kyle.
635
00:27:33,753 --> 00:27:35,988
That's Hebrew for "thank you."
636
00:27:40,993 --> 00:27:43,796
(quiet chatter)
637
00:27:43,896 --> 00:27:47,399
Guys, doesn't this all
seem a little too convenient?
638
00:27:47,499 --> 00:27:48,634
What do you mean?
639
00:27:48,735 --> 00:27:50,002
I mean that Kenny's death
is suspicious,
640
00:27:50,102 --> 00:27:52,104
he talks about people
to blame and then
641
00:27:52,204 --> 00:27:54,406
he suddenly dies of
some new COVID variant?
642
00:27:54,506 --> 00:27:56,208
You think it's a cover, Token?
643
00:27:56,308 --> 00:27:58,377
I think it's
definitely suspicious.
644
00:27:58,477 --> 00:28:01,180
Speaking of suspicious,
what do you call a trans woman
645
00:28:01,280 --> 00:28:03,382
that walks into
an abortion clinic?
646
00:28:04,216 --> 00:28:07,787
Her name is Rebecca
and she's a fantastic person.
647
00:28:08,554 --> 00:28:10,757
Just seems all nice
and buttoned up, doesn't it?
648
00:28:10,857 --> 00:28:13,125
It's a perfect cause of death
and anyone who's trying
649
00:28:13,225 --> 00:28:14,894
to sort it out is quarantined
650
00:28:14,994 --> 00:28:16,796
because one person
isn't vaccinated?
651
00:28:16,896 --> 00:28:19,866
It's true-- who wouldn't be
vaccinated by now?
652
00:28:19,966 --> 00:28:21,267
I'm certainly vaccinated.
653
00:28:21,367 --> 00:28:23,635
-Yeah, I'm vaccinated.
-Me, too.
654
00:28:23,736 --> 00:28:25,137
We're all vaccinated.
655
00:28:25,237 --> 00:28:29,208
Yeah, I mean, I-I think
it's a personal choice.
656
00:28:30,843 --> 00:28:33,179
What does that mean?
Are you vaccinated, Clyde?
657
00:28:33,279 --> 00:28:35,314
I'm... immunized.
658
00:28:35,414 --> 00:28:36,983
He's not fucking vaccinated!
659
00:28:37,083 --> 00:28:38,250
He's the fucking one!
660
00:28:38,350 --> 00:28:39,518
Hey, I just, I just
661
00:28:39,618 --> 00:28:41,620
need to see the research
first, you know.
662
00:28:41,720 --> 00:28:46,225
It's been 40 years, Clyde.
That's enough research!
663
00:28:47,626 --> 00:28:50,629
Alexa, set an alarm
for 7:00 a.m.
664
00:28:52,464 --> 00:28:56,168
Alexa,
set an alarm for 7:00 a.m.
665
00:28:56,268 --> 00:28:58,470
Why don't you go talk
to your father?
666
00:28:58,570 --> 00:28:59,671
Goddamn it.
667
00:28:59,772 --> 00:29:01,373
If there's some kind
of connection
668
00:29:01,473 --> 00:29:03,142
with your dad's farm that can
help everyone figure out
669
00:29:03,242 --> 00:29:06,112
what's going on,
then you need to talk to him.
670
00:29:06,212 --> 00:29:07,980
Can I just go to sleep, please?
671
00:29:08,080 --> 00:29:09,949
Oh, poor you!
Poor you!
672
00:29:10,049 --> 00:29:12,484
Stop being a fucking victim.
At least you get to go out
673
00:29:12,584 --> 00:29:15,321
and do stuff.
What do I get to do?
674
00:29:15,421 --> 00:29:17,990
-Okay, okay, I'm sorry.
-Oh, okay, great.
675
00:29:18,090 --> 00:29:19,725
You're sorry, again.
676
00:29:20,993 --> 00:29:22,394
By the way, I can tell you
677
00:29:22,494 --> 00:29:24,696
about some great deals
on headphones at Best Buy.
678
00:29:24,797 --> 00:29:26,298
Would you like to know more?
679
00:29:26,398 --> 00:29:28,801
-Sure, yes, tell me more.
-Okay.
680
00:29:28,901 --> 00:29:31,203
The Mark VII headphones
have a new edition coming out.
681
00:29:31,303 --> 00:29:33,272
Should I add that
to your shopping list?
682
00:29:33,372 --> 00:29:35,541
(sighs) Yes, sure,
add them to my shopping list.
683
00:29:35,641 --> 00:29:37,576
Okay.
I'll add Mark VII headphones
684
00:29:37,676 --> 00:29:40,312
from Best Buy
to your shopping list.
685
00:29:46,185 --> 00:29:48,054
-(Yentl moaning)
-CARTMAN: Oh, yeah.
686
00:29:48,154 --> 00:29:50,756
Yeah, you like that?
Yeah! Yeah!
687
00:29:50,857 --> 00:29:52,791
Yeah, you like how Abraham
trusted in the one true God?!
688
00:29:52,892 --> 00:29:56,628
-(moaning continues)
-Yeah! Oh, oh, yeah! Yeah!
689
00:29:56,728 --> 00:29:59,131
Goddamn it!
690
00:29:59,231 --> 00:30:01,300
(moaning)
691
00:30:01,400 --> 00:30:02,902
CARTMAN:
Oh. Shh, shh. Hang on, honey.
692
00:30:03,002 --> 00:30:04,436
Hang on.
693
00:30:05,571 --> 00:30:07,006
Yeah, yeah,
what's up, buddy?
694
00:30:07,106 --> 00:30:09,141
What's up
is that I am over this!
695
00:30:09,241 --> 00:30:10,276
What are, what are
you talking about?
696
00:30:10,376 --> 00:30:11,677
You know what I'm talking about!
697
00:30:11,777 --> 00:30:14,013
You know I can hear you
through the walls!
698
00:30:14,113 --> 00:30:15,647
Okay, geez, I'm sorry.
699
00:30:15,747 --> 00:30:17,649
Sorry I was making love
to my wife.
700
00:30:17,749 --> 00:30:19,085
No Jewish people have sex
701
00:30:19,185 --> 00:30:20,987
screaming about
their love of Abraham!
702
00:30:21,087 --> 00:30:22,955
You are a fucking fraud!
703
00:30:23,055 --> 00:30:24,323
Is everything all right?
704
00:30:24,423 --> 00:30:26,058
Do you know that
your husband once snuck
705
00:30:26,158 --> 00:30:28,360
in my room
and gave me fucking AIDS?!
706
00:30:28,460 --> 00:30:31,330
-I'm sorry?!
-Oh, my God, Kyle!
707
00:30:31,430 --> 00:30:34,400
If we are being too loud, please
don't lash out at my wife!
708
00:30:34,500 --> 00:30:37,236
Oh, my God. Oh, my God,
I don't know what to say.
709
00:30:37,336 --> 00:30:39,671
Mom, Dad, is everything okay?
710
00:30:39,771 --> 00:30:41,740
It's all right, kids.
Go back to bed.
711
00:30:41,840 --> 00:30:44,710
Kyle, obviously you have
a problem with us being here.
712
00:30:44,810 --> 00:30:48,080
I promise you that we will be
gone first thing in the morning.
713
00:30:48,180 --> 00:30:50,149
That's probably best!
714
00:30:57,323 --> 00:30:59,025
(rhythmic rattling)
715
00:30:59,125 --> 00:31:00,492
-YENTL: Oh, yeah.
-CARTMAN: Oh, yeah!
716
00:31:00,592 --> 00:31:02,028
-YENTL: Oh, yeah.
-Oh, yeah, you like how Abraham
717
00:31:02,128 --> 00:31:03,262
-almost sacrificed
his only son?!
-Oh, yeah!
718
00:31:03,362 --> 00:31:04,296
-(moans)
-CARTMAN: Yeah!
719
00:31:08,234 --> 00:31:10,269
Sir! Sir,
the townspeople are demanding
720
00:31:10,369 --> 00:31:12,071
to know when
the quarantine will end.
721
00:31:12,171 --> 00:31:15,174
It'll end when we get the order
that everything is safe.
722
00:31:15,274 --> 00:31:18,444
But, sir, the people inside
are running out of supplies.
723
00:31:18,544 --> 00:31:19,912
They're saying they don't
have nearly enough
724
00:31:20,012 --> 00:31:22,014
chin diapers and
people are starting to fight.
725
00:31:22,114 --> 00:31:26,986
I have strict orders not to let
anything in or out of this town.
726
00:31:27,086 --> 00:31:30,022
They'll just have to make do
the best they can in there.
727
00:31:30,122 --> 00:31:33,425
Hopefully they can
maintain some sense of humanity.
728
00:31:33,525 --> 00:31:35,027
SOLDIER:
We got a runner!
729
00:31:35,127 --> 00:31:36,996
Another one trying to get out!
730
00:31:37,096 --> 00:31:38,364
Please!
731
00:31:38,464 --> 00:31:40,732
I just need to go to
a sporting event!
732
00:31:40,832 --> 00:31:42,468
(gunshot)
733
00:31:44,270 --> 00:31:46,973
(school bell rings)
734
00:31:47,073 --> 00:31:49,341
(busy chatter)
735
00:31:50,276 --> 00:31:52,011
(yawns)
736
00:31:52,111 --> 00:31:54,046
(smacking lips)
737
00:31:54,146 --> 00:31:56,582
(toilet flushes)
738
00:32:00,819 --> 00:32:03,722
Hey, Clyde. Clyde, can we
talk to you for a second?
739
00:32:03,822 --> 00:32:04,923
Sure, what's up?
740
00:32:05,024 --> 00:32:07,994
Look, Clyde,
we all really respect
741
00:32:08,094 --> 00:32:10,562
your personal p-p-preferences.
742
00:32:10,662 --> 00:32:13,699
But we have things we
really need to get back to.
743
00:32:13,799 --> 00:32:16,702
We've got jobs a-and careers,
people who need us.
744
00:32:16,802 --> 00:32:18,704
B-But we're being forced
to stay here.
745
00:32:18,804 --> 00:32:21,807
So could you maybe just--
just get vaccinated real quick?
746
00:32:21,907 --> 00:32:24,276
Oh. Um...
747
00:32:24,376 --> 00:32:26,678
Nah. I don't wanna.
748
00:32:26,778 --> 00:32:28,014
(all groaning)
749
00:32:28,114 --> 00:32:30,516
Look, I'm sorry, guys.
It's for health reasons.
750
00:32:30,616 --> 00:32:33,452
I can't get vaccinated 'cause
I'm allergic to shellfish.
751
00:32:33,552 --> 00:32:37,389
Clyde, there's no shellfish
in the COVID vaccine.
752
00:32:37,489 --> 00:32:39,425
I know,
but I read that sometimes
753
00:32:39,525 --> 00:32:41,327
in the lab where the vaccine
is made,
754
00:32:41,427 --> 00:32:43,195
if somebody ate shellfish,
755
00:32:43,295 --> 00:32:44,696
then it can
get cross-contaminated
756
00:32:44,796 --> 00:32:47,666
and have leftover
residual shellfish-ness.
757
00:32:47,766 --> 00:32:50,436
So you're saying you
won't take the COVID vaccine
758
00:32:50,536 --> 00:32:52,171
out of shellfish-ness.
759
00:32:52,271 --> 00:32:53,605
Yes, that is correct.
760
00:32:53,705 --> 00:32:56,242
Just a general sense
of shellfish-ness.
761
00:32:56,342 --> 00:32:59,011
Everyone, you better
come check this out.
762
00:33:00,512 --> 00:33:01,647
Look at this.
763
00:33:01,747 --> 00:33:04,016
CRAIG:
The McCormick Science Wing
764
00:33:04,116 --> 00:33:06,185
at South Park Elementary.
765
00:33:06,285 --> 00:33:08,254
Yeah, so? I read about this.
766
00:33:08,354 --> 00:33:09,555
Kenny donated tons of money
767
00:33:09,655 --> 00:33:11,290
to build a science center
for the students.
768
00:33:11,390 --> 00:33:12,758
Yeah, for the students.
769
00:33:12,858 --> 00:33:14,826
So why does it
have a lock on it?
770
00:33:14,926 --> 00:33:17,029
* *
771
00:33:17,129 --> 00:33:18,230
(banging)
772
00:33:18,330 --> 00:33:20,566
(chain rattles)
773
00:33:26,772 --> 00:33:29,608
WENDY: This must be where Kenny
was doing all his research.
774
00:33:29,708 --> 00:33:33,212
He didn't want to be found,
so he used the school as cover.
775
00:33:33,312 --> 00:33:37,383
Uh, guys, why is there
blood everywhere?
776
00:33:38,717 --> 00:33:40,219
Everybody see what you can find.
777
00:33:40,319 --> 00:33:43,355
There's got to be a clue here
of who killed Kenny.
778
00:33:45,324 --> 00:33:47,226
(electronic drumbeat playing)
779
00:33:47,326 --> 00:33:49,061
* In the future *
780
00:33:49,895 --> 00:33:52,831
* We are living in the future *
781
00:33:53,599 --> 00:33:54,766
* It's the future. *
782
00:33:54,866 --> 00:33:56,068
(music stops)
783
00:33:59,705 --> 00:34:02,074
MALE VOICE: And we are the
fastest growing retirement home
784
00:34:02,174 --> 00:34:04,843
in Park County.
With our newest tower,
785
00:34:04,943 --> 00:34:08,247
we can now house over
600,000 old people.
786
00:34:08,347 --> 00:34:13,285
'Cause in the future you're old
for a long, long time.
787
00:34:13,385 --> 00:34:16,988
(indistinct chatter, grumbling)
788
00:34:17,089 --> 00:34:20,326
(pained groaning)
789
00:34:20,426 --> 00:34:21,727
Can I help you?
790
00:34:21,827 --> 00:34:25,464
My name is Stan Marsh.
I came to...
791
00:34:25,564 --> 00:34:27,799
visit my dad.
792
00:34:27,899 --> 00:34:29,268
(knocking)
793
00:34:29,368 --> 00:34:32,971
Mr. Marsh.
Mr. Marsh, guess what.
794
00:34:33,071 --> 00:34:35,006
Your son is here.
795
00:34:36,975 --> 00:34:38,877
I don't have a son.
796
00:34:38,977 --> 00:34:43,149
Oh, come on, Mr. Marsh,
don't be a grumpy pants.
797
00:34:43,249 --> 00:34:46,318
You tell that piece of shit
that if he wants to
798
00:34:46,418 --> 00:34:48,787
talk to me,
he can write an email.
799
00:34:48,887 --> 00:34:51,690
Tell that little pussy
if I had any grandkids,
800
00:34:51,790 --> 00:34:53,659
maybe I wouldn't be so bitter
801
00:34:53,759 --> 00:34:56,295
at having such a little bitch
for a son!
802
00:34:56,395 --> 00:34:59,131
-Hi, Dad.
-Oh, hey, Stan.
803
00:34:59,231 --> 00:35:01,567
I'll leave you two alone.
804
00:35:06,071 --> 00:35:09,908
So, looks like
the Broncos still suck.
805
00:35:10,008 --> 00:35:11,377
Yup.
806
00:35:13,345 --> 00:35:14,646
Well, it was nice seeing ya.
807
00:35:14,746 --> 00:35:16,182
Thanks for coming to visit.
808
00:35:16,282 --> 00:35:17,549
I didn't come to visit.
809
00:35:17,649 --> 00:35:19,251
Trust me,
I don't want to be here.
810
00:35:19,351 --> 00:35:22,654
Right, like you didn't
want to murder your sister.
811
00:35:22,754 --> 00:35:25,591
What happened to Shelley
was your fault, not mine!
812
00:35:25,691 --> 00:35:28,660
Yeah, like it was my fault
your mom shot herself!
813
00:35:28,760 --> 00:35:30,696
Yes, it actually was!
814
00:35:30,796 --> 00:35:34,400
Your mom died the day
her daughter burned to death!
815
00:35:36,368 --> 00:35:38,970
I'm just here because of Kenny.
816
00:35:39,070 --> 00:35:42,441
Why would he have
Tegridy Weed in his equations?
817
00:35:45,711 --> 00:35:47,779
Dr. McCormick mentioned Tegridy?
818
00:35:47,879 --> 00:35:51,183
It seemed to somehow fit
into some grand theory he had.
819
00:35:51,283 --> 00:35:54,953
He knew. He knew
it was the way to fix it all.
820
00:35:55,053 --> 00:35:59,958
He knew...
about the Pandemic Special.
821
00:36:02,761 --> 00:36:05,697
But, Mom,
why do we have to leave?
822
00:36:05,797 --> 00:36:07,333
It's not safe outside!
823
00:36:07,433 --> 00:36:08,834
We aren't welcome here,
children.
824
00:36:08,934 --> 00:36:10,836
We have to find another
place to stay.
825
00:36:10,936 --> 00:36:12,871
Oh, no, this is just like
when our people were
826
00:36:12,971 --> 00:36:14,940
exiled from the Holy Lands.
827
00:36:15,040 --> 00:36:17,209
Mrs. Cartman,
can I talk to you, please?
828
00:36:17,309 --> 00:36:19,211
-Uncle Kyle!
-Uncle Kyle,
829
00:36:19,311 --> 00:36:21,480
why are you making us go? Why?
830
00:36:21,580 --> 00:36:23,048
Is it 'cause we're Jews?
831
00:36:23,148 --> 00:36:26,352
Mrs. Cartman,
I'm sorry for last night.
832
00:36:26,452 --> 00:36:31,557
I was just... tired and it was
extremely inappropriate of me.
833
00:36:31,657 --> 00:36:32,591
BOTH:
Dad!
834
00:36:32,691 --> 00:36:33,892
I think Uncle Kyle
835
00:36:33,992 --> 00:36:35,794
is gonna let us stay, Papa!
836
00:36:35,894 --> 00:36:40,432
Uh, no, kids, I'm sorry, but we
can't stay here with Uncle Kyle.
837
00:36:40,532 --> 00:36:44,069
Please stay.
I am asking you to stay.
838
00:36:44,169 --> 00:36:46,472
Can we, Dad?
We'll be good, we promise!
839
00:36:46,572 --> 00:36:48,807
You little ones are always good.
840
00:36:48,907 --> 00:36:52,511
* Mik-helm, Mik-helm,
mit cloiska pudding *
841
00:36:52,611 --> 00:36:54,946
* Vil plotz vit laughter, too *
842
00:36:55,046 --> 00:36:56,081
Stop it!
843
00:36:56,181 --> 00:36:57,249
(doorbell rings)
844
00:36:57,349 --> 00:36:59,585
* Someone is at the door! *
845
00:36:59,685 --> 00:37:03,389
-* Yeah! This is the doorbell! *
-(yells)
846
00:37:03,489 --> 00:37:05,424
* It is the future! *
847
00:37:05,524 --> 00:37:07,393
They killed Kenny...
848
00:37:07,493 --> 00:37:09,561
because he was
trying to stop it.
849
00:37:09,661 --> 00:37:11,430
Stop what?
850
00:37:11,530 --> 00:37:12,964
We found Kenny's lab.
851
00:37:13,064 --> 00:37:16,034
All of his confidential work
and his wild experiments.
852
00:37:16,134 --> 00:37:19,805
Kenny wasn't just trying to find
the source of the coronavirus.
853
00:37:19,905 --> 00:37:21,840
He was trying
to go back in time,
854
00:37:21,940 --> 00:37:24,443
and stop the pandemic
from ever happening.
855
00:37:24,543 --> 00:37:26,878
* *
856
00:37:26,978 --> 00:37:30,215
(woman speaking Japanese)
857
00:37:30,316 --> 00:37:32,117
Okay, old people.
858
00:37:32,217 --> 00:37:34,453
It's 4:00.
You know what that means.
859
00:37:34,553 --> 00:37:36,322
It's share time!
860
00:37:36,422 --> 00:37:37,989
(all grumbling)
861
00:37:38,089 --> 00:37:40,191
Who has something that they
want to share?
862
00:37:40,292 --> 00:37:41,493
Mr. Garrison?
863
00:37:41,593 --> 00:37:44,496
I'd like to share
my dick in your mouth.
864
00:37:44,596 --> 00:37:47,699
-(laughter)
-M'kay.
865
00:37:47,799 --> 00:37:50,001
Okay, guys, let's settle down.
866
00:37:50,101 --> 00:37:53,505
Look, I know sharing feelings is
hard during this time of crisis.
867
00:37:53,605 --> 00:37:56,642
Is anyone feeling nervous
about the new COVID outbreak?
868
00:37:56,742 --> 00:37:58,710
(grumbling)
869
00:37:58,810 --> 00:38:01,079
We don't want you to worry,
because, you know,
870
00:38:01,179 --> 00:38:03,515
it's the future--
we all do everything we can
871
00:38:03,615 --> 00:38:05,517
to make sure
old people don't die.
872
00:38:05,617 --> 00:38:07,085
(all groaning)
873
00:38:07,185 --> 00:38:09,154
Okay, if nobody else
wants to go first,
874
00:38:09,254 --> 00:38:11,122
Randy Marsh had
a little visitor today
875
00:38:11,222 --> 00:38:13,692
and he'd like to share that
with all of you.
876
00:38:13,792 --> 00:38:17,863
Uh, hey, everyone. I had
a special visitor today.
877
00:38:17,963 --> 00:38:19,498
My "son."
878
00:38:19,598 --> 00:38:22,233
Who hasn't come to see me
in over 20 years.
879
00:38:22,334 --> 00:38:24,570
And I have some things
I need to tell him
880
00:38:24,670 --> 00:38:26,505
but it's hard because...
881
00:38:26,605 --> 00:38:28,039
he killed his mom
and his sister.
882
00:38:28,139 --> 00:38:30,509
Okay, okay,
here's what happened.
883
00:38:30,609 --> 00:38:31,943
Oh, here we go, here we go.
884
00:38:32,043 --> 00:38:34,413
After the pandemic,
my mom wanted a divorce
885
00:38:34,513 --> 00:38:36,214
and she owned half of the farm.
886
00:38:36,314 --> 00:38:38,717
She didn't own half,
she always hated weed,
887
00:38:38,817 --> 00:38:40,285
and she didn't do shit
for the farm.
888
00:38:40,386 --> 00:38:42,888
He wouldn't give her half
the farm, so I got sick
889
00:38:42,988 --> 00:38:44,222
of their fighting
and decided to burn
890
00:38:44,322 --> 00:38:46,057
the whole stupid farm
to the ground.
891
00:38:46,157 --> 00:38:48,827
And his sister was in the barn
and she burned to death.
892
00:38:48,927 --> 00:38:51,062
Because you locked her
in the barn 'cause she wouldn't
893
00:38:51,162 --> 00:38:53,799
do her weed chores
'cause she hated weed, too!
894
00:38:53,899 --> 00:38:56,001
Yes, she had
a marijuana problem.
895
00:38:56,101 --> 00:38:58,537
And so his mother
couldn't take the loss
896
00:38:58,637 --> 00:39:00,572
of Shelley
and so she killed herself!
897
00:39:00,672 --> 00:39:02,273
Which is your fault.
898
00:39:02,374 --> 00:39:03,642
You were the one who
899
00:39:03,742 --> 00:39:04,876
burned the family business
to the ground.
900
00:39:04,976 --> 00:39:06,378
You guys are hearing this,
right?
901
00:39:08,447 --> 00:39:12,283
So, Kenny spends years
researching time travel,
902
00:39:12,384 --> 00:39:14,185
then suddenly Kenny dies,
903
00:39:14,285 --> 00:39:16,655
and all his fellow
scientists go missing.
904
00:39:16,755 --> 00:39:19,391
Just leaving behind
a trail of blood.
905
00:39:19,491 --> 00:39:21,727
Seems like all of
the scientists were murdered
906
00:39:21,827 --> 00:39:24,262
so that nobody could
complete Kenny's work.
907
00:39:24,362 --> 00:39:25,764
All of them except one.
908
00:39:25,864 --> 00:39:27,666
In almost all this research,
909
00:39:27,766 --> 00:39:31,302
one name keeps popping up:
Victor Chouce.
910
00:39:31,403 --> 00:39:34,473
It appears that Chouce
was Kenny's right-hand man.
911
00:39:34,573 --> 00:39:36,141
But he was insane.
912
00:39:36,241 --> 00:39:38,276
He's been locked up for years
inside a mental institution.
913
00:39:38,376 --> 00:39:40,612
Oh, come on.
Now we're gonna start talking
914
00:39:40,712 --> 00:39:42,280
to certifiably crazy people?
915
00:39:42,380 --> 00:39:45,283
Crazy or not,
we find this Victor Chouce
916
00:39:45,383 --> 00:39:48,286
and we find where
Kenny hid the information.
917
00:39:48,386 --> 00:39:50,422
* *
918
00:39:52,190 --> 00:39:54,426
(crazed chatter and wailing)
919
00:39:56,027 --> 00:39:57,496
WARDEN (echoes):
Yes.
920
00:39:57,596 --> 00:39:59,197
Yes, that is correct.
921
00:39:59,297 --> 00:40:02,200
Victor Chouce is
one of our patients here.
922
00:40:02,300 --> 00:40:04,770
What is the nature
of your inquiry?
923
00:40:04,870 --> 00:40:07,439
We have reason to believe
that Victor Chouce
924
00:40:07,539 --> 00:40:10,341
can answer questions
regarding our friend's death.
925
00:40:10,442 --> 00:40:12,377
Could you put him
on the line please?
926
00:40:12,478 --> 00:40:14,646
I'm afraid that's impossible.
927
00:40:14,746 --> 00:40:19,017
Victor is too unstable for
phone calls. They confuse him.
928
00:40:19,117 --> 00:40:22,087
Well, can we come
talk to him in person then?
929
00:40:23,154 --> 00:40:25,691
Yes, I believe
that could be arranged.
930
00:40:25,791 --> 00:40:28,727
As long as
the proper protocols are met.
931
00:40:28,827 --> 00:40:32,030
Is everyone
in your party vaccinated?
932
00:40:33,599 --> 00:40:34,866
No.
933
00:40:34,966 --> 00:40:36,935
Well, then
I'm afraid we can't allow you
934
00:40:37,035 --> 00:40:38,436
into our facility.
935
00:40:38,537 --> 00:40:41,640
But-but we have to talk to him!
It's urgent!
936
00:40:41,740 --> 00:40:42,908
What'd they say?
937
00:40:43,008 --> 00:40:44,309
They're not
gonna let us see him!
938
00:40:44,409 --> 00:40:47,112
It's some kind of
goddamn conspiracy!
939
00:40:48,580 --> 00:40:52,317
(woman speaking Japanese)
940
00:40:57,055 --> 00:40:58,890
Listen to me, it's very simple.
941
00:40:58,990 --> 00:41:01,326
I need to take my dad
out of here.
942
00:41:01,426 --> 00:41:02,561
He has to come with me.
943
00:41:02,661 --> 00:41:04,429
I'm afraid that's impossible.
944
00:41:04,530 --> 00:41:07,098
Senior citizens are
in here to keep them safe.
945
00:41:07,198 --> 00:41:10,802
You know, it's the future--
we can't let old people die.
946
00:41:10,902 --> 00:41:13,338
-I told you, stupid.
-Shut up, Dad.
947
00:41:13,438 --> 00:41:16,274
Look, there's a chance we
can help fight this new variant.
948
00:41:16,374 --> 00:41:18,243
I just need him out for
a couple hours
949
00:41:18,343 --> 00:41:19,745
so we can
get something important.
950
00:41:19,845 --> 00:41:21,312
Well, why don't you
just go get it?
951
00:41:21,412 --> 00:41:23,582
Because he won't tell me
where it is because
952
00:41:23,682 --> 00:41:26,384
-he doesn't trust me.
-Because he killed his mom.
953
00:41:27,152 --> 00:41:29,320
Look, I'm sorry,
but this is the future.
954
00:41:29,420 --> 00:41:32,257
Nothing is more important than
keeping old people alive.
955
00:41:32,357 --> 00:41:33,925
What if you took him out there
and, God forbid,
956
00:41:34,025 --> 00:41:35,360
he crapped his pants?
957
00:41:35,460 --> 00:41:36,895
And then slipped on
the old people diarrhea
958
00:41:36,995 --> 00:41:38,296
and hit his head?
959
00:41:38,396 --> 00:41:39,631
We'd have to shut down
the entire country,
960
00:41:39,731 --> 00:41:40,699
for Christ's sake.
961
00:41:40,799 --> 00:41:42,668
Well, I guess that's it.
962
00:41:42,768 --> 00:41:45,236
Only one way out now.
963
00:41:48,574 --> 00:41:49,975
Kick him in the balls, Stan!
964
00:41:50,075 --> 00:41:51,442
-What?!
-Kick him in the balls!
965
00:41:51,543 --> 00:41:53,779
-Come on, hurry!
-Get your hands off of me!
966
00:41:53,879 --> 00:41:55,413
-Dad!
-Goddamn it, Stan,
967
00:41:55,513 --> 00:41:58,416
kick his fucking balls
so we can go!
968
00:41:58,516 --> 00:41:59,951
-Fuck!
-(groans)
969
00:42:00,051 --> 00:42:03,955
Okay, grab his keys!
Grab his keys, you stupid ass!
970
00:42:05,023 --> 00:42:07,693
(coughing and groaning)
971
00:42:07,793 --> 00:42:09,260
(alert beeping)
972
00:42:09,360 --> 00:42:12,430
FEMALE VOICE: Warning. Warning.
Old person has escaped.
973
00:42:12,530 --> 00:42:15,667
Old person has escaped.
Warning.
974
00:42:15,767 --> 00:42:18,503
(woman speaking Japanese)
975
00:42:18,604 --> 00:42:20,371
(alarm blaring)
976
00:42:22,540 --> 00:42:25,110
(sirens wailing)
977
00:42:25,210 --> 00:42:26,978
All of these documents
we found in Kenny's lab
978
00:42:27,078 --> 00:42:29,815
referred to possible origins
of the coronavirus.
979
00:42:29,915 --> 00:42:31,750
He wanted to go back
and stop it.
980
00:42:31,850 --> 00:42:34,686
But to stop it, he had to
figure out how to bend time.
981
00:42:34,786 --> 00:42:38,657
Exactly. There's notes--
years and years of research
982
00:42:38,757 --> 00:42:40,058
that Kenny compiled--
983
00:42:40,158 --> 00:42:42,227
all on the possibilities
of time travel.
984
00:42:42,327 --> 00:42:44,295
CARTMAN (giggling):
You silly girl.
985
00:42:44,395 --> 00:42:47,165
You, yes.
Who's a little mister, yes.
986
00:42:47,265 --> 00:42:48,700
Who's a little hetzpah?
987
00:42:48,800 --> 00:42:50,301
Who's my little meshugana?
988
00:42:50,401 --> 00:42:51,837
Excuse me!
989
00:42:51,937 --> 00:42:53,438
Geez, sorry, Kyle.
990
00:42:53,538 --> 00:42:55,841
Kenny was researching
the nature of space-time
991
00:42:55,941 --> 00:42:58,076
to see if some kind
of bending was possible.
992
00:42:58,176 --> 00:43:01,079
But then suddenly, all
the research just gets cut off.
993
00:43:01,179 --> 00:43:03,048
Because whoever
made the pandemic happen
994
00:43:03,148 --> 00:43:05,316
killed Kenny before
he could go back and stop it.
995
00:43:05,416 --> 00:43:07,686
CARTMAN (giggling):
Silly girl. Yes.
996
00:43:07,786 --> 00:43:09,888
Will you please knock it off?!
997
00:43:09,988 --> 00:43:11,489
What's the problem, Kyle?
998
00:43:11,589 --> 00:43:13,424
You know what you're doing,
fat-ass!
999
00:43:13,524 --> 00:43:16,194
Goddamn it, why don't you lay
off my fuckin' dad, Uncle Kyle!
1000
00:43:16,294 --> 00:43:18,930
Moisha! He's never
talked like that before.
1001
00:43:19,030 --> 00:43:20,231
I'm sorry, Mom. It's just...
1002
00:43:20,331 --> 00:43:22,600
Uncle Kyle,
he makes me so crazy!
1003
00:43:22,701 --> 00:43:24,469
That is not okay, Moisha.
1004
00:43:24,569 --> 00:43:28,273
But it's true, Dad.
Uncle Kyle makes me crazy, too!
1005
00:43:28,373 --> 00:43:30,709
-(scoffs) Menorah!
-Fuck you, Kyle.
1006
00:43:30,809 --> 00:43:32,778
(gasps) Hackelm!
1007
00:43:32,878 --> 00:43:34,746
You guys, listen.
In Kenny's work
1008
00:43:34,846 --> 00:43:37,448
he talks about where he would
hide important information.
1009
00:43:37,548 --> 00:43:39,885
He says his friends
will always know where to look
1010
00:43:39,985 --> 00:43:42,620
if they just
think like kids again.
1011
00:43:43,621 --> 00:43:45,657
Think like kids again...
1012
00:43:46,725 --> 00:43:49,527
I know where Kenny hid
what we're looking for.
1013
00:43:49,627 --> 00:43:51,897
It's up his ass.
1014
00:43:57,535 --> 00:43:59,037
Who's the broad?
1015
00:43:59,137 --> 00:44:01,239
That's just my Alexa.
1016
00:44:02,107 --> 00:44:03,608
That's the best
you could do, huh?
1017
00:44:03,709 --> 00:44:04,910
Is it even the new one?
1018
00:44:05,010 --> 00:44:07,445
-Excuse me?
-Just ignore him.
1019
00:44:08,313 --> 00:44:10,348
Okay, fine, there's a new
upgrade available
1020
00:44:10,448 --> 00:44:11,983
for your Amazon Prime
membership.
1021
00:44:12,083 --> 00:44:13,451
Would you like to know more?
1022
00:44:13,551 --> 00:44:14,886
Not now, please.
1023
00:44:14,986 --> 00:44:17,655
Okay, so I guess
just fuck me, then?
1024
00:44:19,424 --> 00:44:21,326
Uh-huh.
1025
00:44:24,996 --> 00:44:26,431
(car beeps)
1026
00:44:30,902 --> 00:44:33,138
* *
1027
00:44:37,608 --> 00:44:40,245
This was once
such a magical place.
1028
00:44:40,345 --> 00:44:42,080
Can we just get this over with?
1029
00:44:42,180 --> 00:44:43,648
I don't want to be here.
1030
00:44:43,749 --> 00:44:45,250
You think I want to be here?
1031
00:44:45,350 --> 00:44:48,319
This is where I lost
everything that I cared about!
1032
00:44:48,419 --> 00:44:50,488
And your mom and your sister!
1033
00:44:56,995 --> 00:44:59,030
Dad, there's nothing here.
1034
00:45:00,031 --> 00:45:01,199
Dad?
1035
00:45:01,299 --> 00:45:02,934
I think I can
trust you now, Stan.
1036
00:45:03,034 --> 00:45:06,838
It's time for you to learn what
your friend Kenny was after.
1037
00:45:06,938 --> 00:45:10,208
When the pandemic started,
you were only a kid.
1038
00:45:10,308 --> 00:45:13,644
You don't remember the pain
we all went through.
1039
00:45:13,745 --> 00:45:14,980
Yeah, I do.
1040
00:45:15,080 --> 00:45:17,883
We as Americans
went through so much.
1041
00:45:17,983 --> 00:45:22,220
First, that incompetent
jack-hole was elected president.
1042
00:45:22,320 --> 00:45:25,723
Then the pandemic came,
and then the race wars.
1043
00:45:25,824 --> 00:45:29,795
And then just when it seemed
like we'd turned a corner,
1044
00:45:29,895 --> 00:45:35,200
Space Jam 2 came out,
and we all just kind of gave up.
1045
00:45:35,300 --> 00:45:38,703
What we lost,
Stan, was our Tegridy.
1046
00:45:38,804 --> 00:45:40,906
But it was all by design.
1047
00:45:41,006 --> 00:45:42,974
They needed us to lose it.
1048
00:45:43,074 --> 00:45:44,242
Who did?
1049
00:45:44,342 --> 00:45:46,878
Who would want us
to lose our optimism
1050
00:45:46,978 --> 00:45:49,314
and start fighting
with each other?
1051
00:45:49,414 --> 00:45:50,215
China.
1052
00:45:50,315 --> 00:45:53,251
-China?
-China.
1053
00:45:53,351 --> 00:45:55,486
They're the superpower now.
1054
00:45:55,586 --> 00:45:58,456
The future is totally theirs
and we let it happen.
1055
00:45:58,556 --> 00:46:01,092
A man in China
had sex with a pangolin
1056
00:46:01,192 --> 00:46:04,062
and that started COVID.
That man was me.
1057
00:46:04,162 --> 00:46:05,596
So I knew how to go back
1058
00:46:05,696 --> 00:46:07,098
and stop them
from taking over...
1059
00:46:07,198 --> 00:46:08,800
Wait, whoa, whoa,
wait, wait, wait.
1060
00:46:08,900 --> 00:46:10,501
You started COVID?
1061
00:46:10,601 --> 00:46:12,503
Yes, but that's
besides the point.
1062
00:46:12,603 --> 00:46:14,840
China used me
like they used us all.
1063
00:46:14,940 --> 00:46:17,909
So I came up with a way
to help everyone fight back.
1064
00:46:18,009 --> 00:46:20,311
A special Tegridy weed.
1065
00:46:21,279 --> 00:46:22,747
You had sex with a pangolin
1066
00:46:22,848 --> 00:46:25,683
in China and started
the whole pandemic?!
1067
00:46:25,783 --> 00:46:27,919
Will you listen
to what I'm saying?!
1068
00:46:28,019 --> 00:46:30,721
Gal!
I worked to create more Tegridy,
1069
00:46:30,822 --> 00:46:33,591
but China did everything
they could to stop me.
1070
00:46:33,691 --> 00:46:35,326
They even got to my son.
1071
00:46:35,426 --> 00:46:38,329
Who burned all of
Tegridy Farms to the ground.
1072
00:46:38,429 --> 00:46:40,665
But what you didn't even know
1073
00:46:40,765 --> 00:46:44,069
was that I had secretly
created a new strain of weed.
1074
00:46:44,169 --> 00:46:48,173
A weed so powerful, I couldn't
even call it a special.
1075
00:46:48,273 --> 00:46:50,375
It was more like an event.
1076
00:46:50,475 --> 00:46:53,011
I hid it away all these years.
1077
00:46:53,111 --> 00:46:57,715
And now it... is the key
to saving us all.
1078
00:47:00,585 --> 00:47:02,453
(whirring)
1079
00:47:07,358 --> 00:47:09,327
-Where the fuck is it?
-What?
1080
00:47:09,427 --> 00:47:12,597
The Tegridy Weed Special Event!
Where the fuck is it?!
1081
00:47:12,697 --> 00:47:14,165
I don't know, Dad!
1082
00:47:14,265 --> 00:47:16,601
They got it. They took it!
1083
00:47:16,701 --> 00:47:18,536
There's even fresh
footprints on the ground!
1084
00:47:18,636 --> 00:47:20,138
Oh, Jesus!
1085
00:47:20,238 --> 00:47:22,273
So maybe it wasn't the Chinese.
1086
00:47:22,373 --> 00:47:26,377
Yeah, no, it was definitely
the Chinese. Oh, God.
1087
00:47:26,477 --> 00:47:30,048
That was it! That was
the very last bit of Tegridy!
1088
00:47:30,148 --> 00:47:32,984
The only other thing I had
were some seeds that I hid
1089
00:47:33,084 --> 00:47:36,922
up my ass, but they took them
from me at the old folks home!
1090
00:47:37,022 --> 00:47:38,990
Wait a minute.
What did you say?
1091
00:47:39,090 --> 00:47:42,093
I said they took them from me
at the old folks home.
1092
00:47:42,193 --> 00:47:43,294
No, before that.
1093
00:47:43,394 --> 00:47:46,764
Oh. I said I hid 'em
up my ass.
1094
00:47:46,864 --> 00:47:51,002
Jesus. It's so simple.
How did we not get it?
1095
00:47:51,102 --> 00:47:53,138
Alexa, start the car!
1096
00:47:54,072 --> 00:47:56,307
There's no point now, son!
1097
00:47:56,407 --> 00:47:58,209
It's all gone.
1098
00:47:58,309 --> 00:48:01,512
It's all lost. All lost.
1099
00:48:01,612 --> 00:48:04,749
VOICE (whispering):
Randy.
1100
00:48:04,849 --> 00:48:07,785
Randy.
1101
00:48:07,885 --> 00:48:10,021
Ah...?
1102
00:48:10,121 --> 00:48:12,590
MAN (over P.A.):
ICU, please. Blue Team, ICU.
1103
00:48:14,459 --> 00:48:17,228
(indistinct chatter)
1104
00:48:18,729 --> 00:48:20,698
"Un-cle Kyle."
1105
00:48:22,200 --> 00:48:25,803
"Uncle Kyle."
Say it, Hackelm.
1106
00:48:27,072 --> 00:48:31,109
-"Uncle Kyle."
-Fuck you, Kyle.
1107
00:48:31,209 --> 00:48:34,812
No, no, no.
"Uncle Kyle."
1108
00:48:34,912 --> 00:48:36,181
Fuck you, Kyle.
1109
00:48:36,281 --> 00:48:38,283
CARTMAN:
Oh, my gosh, no.
1110
00:48:38,383 --> 00:48:40,318
We're so sorry about this.
1111
00:48:40,418 --> 00:48:43,121
CARTMAN:
Hackelm, say "Uncle."
1112
00:48:43,221 --> 00:48:47,792
"Uncle. Uncle Kyle."
1113
00:48:48,859 --> 00:48:50,761
Fuck you, Uncle Kyle!
1114
00:48:50,861 --> 00:48:52,163
Hey, that was better.
1115
00:48:52,263 --> 00:48:54,099
It isn't gonna work.
The hospital says
1116
00:48:54,199 --> 00:48:56,134
we don't have authorization
to see Kenny's remains.
1117
00:48:56,234 --> 00:48:57,435
What?!
1118
00:48:57,535 --> 00:48:59,070
Sounds like someone
doesn't want us
1119
00:48:59,170 --> 00:49:01,539
to see Kenny's remains.
'Cause we might find the truth.
1120
00:49:01,639 --> 00:49:03,474
There has to be
a way for us to get in there.
1121
00:49:03,574 --> 00:49:05,843
-Ha ha. Fuck you, Uncle Kyle!
-Hackelm.
1122
00:49:05,943 --> 00:49:08,179
STAN: What the hell
are you guys doing here?
1123
00:49:08,846 --> 00:49:10,948
-Stan?
-What are you doing here?
1124
00:49:11,049 --> 00:49:13,451
I've been trying to
find out who killed Kenny.
1125
00:49:13,551 --> 00:49:16,054
I think I know where he
stored the information.
1126
00:49:16,154 --> 00:49:17,255
BOTH:
It's in his asshole.
1127
00:49:17,355 --> 00:49:18,689
-Yes.
-Well, it doesn't matter.
1128
00:49:18,789 --> 00:49:20,291
They won't let us
into the morgue.
1129
00:49:20,391 --> 00:49:22,027
Yeah, that's because
you guys don't think.
1130
00:49:22,127 --> 00:49:23,394
Excuse me?
We need to examine
1131
00:49:23,494 --> 00:49:25,430
the remains of Dr. McCormick
right away.
1132
00:49:25,530 --> 00:49:27,065
Like I told the others,
1133
00:49:27,165 --> 00:49:30,001
only certified medical personnel
are allowed to examine cadavers.
1134
00:49:30,101 --> 00:49:31,702
Stan Marsh, consultant
1135
00:49:31,802 --> 00:49:34,639
for Post-Modem Beveragetainment
Online Services.
1136
00:49:35,873 --> 00:49:37,875
One moment, Doctor.
1137
00:49:37,975 --> 00:49:39,677
This is highly unorthodox.
1138
00:49:39,777 --> 00:49:42,147
We don't normally allow
outsiders into the morgue.
1139
00:49:42,247 --> 00:49:46,251
That's understandable, Doctor,
but luckily I am orthodox.
1140
00:49:46,351 --> 00:49:48,386
I don't think this
is suitable for children.
1141
00:49:48,486 --> 00:49:50,721
You guys go.
You were the closest to him.
1142
00:49:50,821 --> 00:49:52,857
We'll stay back
and watch the kids.
1143
00:49:54,859 --> 00:49:56,627
I'm sorry we can't
supply any chin diapers.
1144
00:49:56,727 --> 00:49:58,629
Just maintain social distance.
1145
00:49:58,729 --> 00:50:00,398
Middle cabinet,
second from the bottom.
1146
00:50:00,498 --> 00:50:02,733
* *
1147
00:50:17,448 --> 00:50:19,117
Hello, old friend.
1148
00:50:19,217 --> 00:50:20,851
(rats squeaking)
1149
00:50:20,951 --> 00:50:22,420
Ah, come on!
1150
00:50:25,423 --> 00:50:27,292
Well, let's get him...
1151
00:50:27,392 --> 00:50:28,759
turned over.
1152
00:50:33,464 --> 00:50:34,732
Somebody's got to look.
1153
00:50:34,832 --> 00:50:36,501
I'm not reaching up Kenny's ass.
1154
00:50:36,601 --> 00:50:38,035
Well, somebody has to.
1155
00:50:38,136 --> 00:50:39,604
-Cartman, go ahead.
-No, I can't do it.
1156
00:50:39,704 --> 00:50:40,938
If anyone should reach up
Kenny's ass,
1157
00:50:41,038 --> 00:50:42,373
it should be you, Kyle.
1158
00:50:42,473 --> 00:50:44,109
I thought you were
his fucking "best friend."
1159
00:50:44,209 --> 00:50:47,078
I was his best friend,
but I am also married,
1160
00:50:47,178 --> 00:50:49,514
so I can't be fingering
people's buttholes.
1161
00:50:49,614 --> 00:50:51,949
God, you guys fucking suck.
I'll just do it.
1162
00:50:52,049 --> 00:50:54,219
Just like I always had to
fix fucking everything else!
1163
00:50:54,319 --> 00:50:56,421
(rats squeaking)
1164
00:50:57,255 --> 00:50:58,689
(squishing)
1165
00:51:00,057 --> 00:51:01,992
You did not
"fucking fix everything,"
1166
00:51:02,093 --> 00:51:04,829
you just started acting like
everyone else was stupid.
1167
00:51:04,929 --> 00:51:07,765
Oh, really? Because
they were acting stupid?
1168
00:51:07,865 --> 00:51:10,168
Yeah, because you got all
self-righteous about everything.
1169
00:51:10,268 --> 00:51:12,603
-I got self-righteous?
-Yeah, you got self-righteous.
1170
00:51:12,703 --> 00:51:14,639
Do you know what
fucking sanctimonious means?
1171
00:51:14,739 --> 00:51:16,641
No, Kyle, why don't you
fucking tell me
1172
00:51:16,741 --> 00:51:18,343
what fucking
sanctimonious means.
1173
00:51:18,443 --> 00:51:19,844
See, this is exactly
how you acted when
1174
00:51:19,944 --> 00:51:21,612
-the pandemic started to...
-Wait!
1175
00:51:21,712 --> 00:51:22,680
Hold on.
1176
00:51:22,780 --> 00:51:25,116
-(squishing)
-We've got it.
1177
00:51:29,354 --> 00:51:30,821
-Oh, my God.
-What?
1178
00:51:30,921 --> 00:51:34,091
It's got shit on it.
That's dead people shit.
1179
00:51:35,092 --> 00:51:37,362
(retches)
1180
00:51:39,964 --> 00:51:41,566
What are you working on, Clyde?
1181
00:51:41,666 --> 00:51:43,568
I'm going through
Kenny's journals again
1182
00:51:43,668 --> 00:51:45,136
to try to find some answers.
1183
00:51:45,236 --> 00:51:47,938
Seems like we just keep hitting
dead ends, you know?
1184
00:51:48,038 --> 00:51:50,241
I'm just tired
and I want to go home.
1185
00:51:50,341 --> 00:51:52,843
I know. I'm exhausted, too.
1186
00:51:55,480 --> 00:51:58,249
You want to maybe
do a little bump?
1187
00:51:58,349 --> 00:51:59,484
Huh?
1188
00:51:59,584 --> 00:52:00,851
I was just--
1189
00:52:00,951 --> 00:52:03,454
I've got some coke
and I thought we could...
1190
00:52:03,554 --> 00:52:05,723
I don't know,
do you want to party?
1191
00:52:06,657 --> 00:52:08,259
Fuck yes, I want to party.
1192
00:52:08,359 --> 00:52:09,760
-Really?
-Fuck yes.
1193
00:52:09,860 --> 00:52:11,662
Oh, I'm so glad you're down.
1194
00:52:11,762 --> 00:52:13,731
Nobody else is even cool enough
for me to ask.
1195
00:52:13,831 --> 00:52:15,466
It's pretty good shit, too.
1196
00:52:15,566 --> 00:52:18,603
(sniffing)
Oh, man. Thank God.
1197
00:52:18,703 --> 00:52:19,870
Thank God I brought this.
Here ya go.
1198
00:52:19,970 --> 00:52:22,673
Fuck yes.
Let's fucking party.
1199
00:52:23,974 --> 00:52:25,109
Wait a minute.
1200
00:52:26,010 --> 00:52:28,279
-What is this really?
-What do you mean?
1201
00:52:28,379 --> 00:52:31,516
This isn't cocaine, it's
the COVID vaccine, isn't it?!
1202
00:52:31,616 --> 00:52:34,151
I'm not putting
that shit in my body!
1203
00:52:34,252 --> 00:52:35,886
Forget it, guys, it didn't work.
1204
00:52:35,986 --> 00:52:37,355
(all groaning)
1205
00:52:37,455 --> 00:52:40,124
You guys were gonna trick me
into taking the vaccine?!
1206
00:52:40,225 --> 00:52:42,327
Goddamn it, Clyde,
we want to get out of here!
1207
00:52:42,427 --> 00:52:45,563
My body is a temple
and I'm not taking that shit!
1208
00:52:45,663 --> 00:52:47,798
Let's just face it, guys,
it's over.
1209
00:52:47,898 --> 00:52:50,134
We're never going to find
what Kenny was after.
1210
00:52:50,235 --> 00:52:52,437
Whoever controls the world
and killed our friend
1211
00:52:52,537 --> 00:52:54,104
is just gonna get away with it.
1212
00:52:54,205 --> 00:52:55,706
KYLE:
Not so fast!
1213
00:52:57,942 --> 00:53:01,312
We did it! We found Kenny's
hidden information!
1214
00:53:01,412 --> 00:53:03,248
-You did?
-And now we can finally
1215
00:53:03,348 --> 00:53:04,249
learn the truth!
1216
00:53:04,349 --> 00:53:05,650
Whoever Kenny was after,
1217
00:53:05,750 --> 00:53:08,219
we are gonna
take those fuckers down!
1218
00:53:08,319 --> 00:53:09,587
(beeps)
1219
00:53:09,687 --> 00:53:11,556
(static crackles)
1220
00:53:11,656 --> 00:53:15,860
The date is November 3rd.
It is 2:07 p.m.
1221
00:53:15,960 --> 00:53:18,296
Dr. Kenneth McCormick
will now be
1222
00:53:18,396 --> 00:53:20,331
attempting to travel back
in time.
1223
00:53:20,431 --> 00:53:24,469
In order to stop the COVID
pandemic from ever happening.
1224
00:53:25,270 --> 00:53:26,170
He did it?
1225
00:53:26,271 --> 00:53:27,638
Dr. McCormick believes
1226
00:53:27,738 --> 00:53:28,639
that going back
1227
00:53:28,739 --> 00:53:30,107
is the only way
1228
00:53:30,207 --> 00:53:32,810
to stop the people
who have ruined the future.
1229
00:53:32,910 --> 00:53:35,413
In the event of
Dr. McCormick's death,
1230
00:53:35,513 --> 00:53:37,315
he wants everyone
to know the group
1231
00:53:37,415 --> 00:53:39,784
that is responsible
for the way things are.
1232
00:53:39,884 --> 00:53:42,487
It is,
"My three dickhead friends,
1233
00:53:42,587 --> 00:53:44,989
Stan, Kyle and Cartman."
1234
00:53:45,990 --> 00:53:46,724
What?!
1235
00:53:46,824 --> 00:53:48,526
Dr. McCormick says
1236
00:53:48,626 --> 00:53:50,728
that these three
completely ruined everything
1237
00:53:50,828 --> 00:53:53,097
when they let COVID
break up their friendship
1238
00:53:53,197 --> 00:53:56,401
and became argumentative,
combative, pessimistic assholes.
1239
00:53:56,501 --> 00:53:59,003
(muffled muttering)
1240
00:53:59,103 --> 00:54:01,005
He says he hopes
you guys are watching this.
1241
00:54:01,105 --> 00:54:05,009
(muffled shouting)
1242
00:54:05,910 --> 00:54:08,212
He spent his whole life
trying to fix your broship
1243
00:54:08,313 --> 00:54:10,214
and then realized
this was the only way,
1244
00:54:10,315 --> 00:54:11,682
'cause you guys suck.
1245
00:54:11,782 --> 00:54:14,385
-(loud zapping)
-The sequence is active!
1246
00:54:14,485 --> 00:54:16,554
The historic moment is here!
1247
00:54:16,654 --> 00:54:18,356
Godspeed, Dr. McCormick!
1248
00:54:18,456 --> 00:54:19,857
(zapping continues)
1249
00:54:19,957 --> 00:54:23,160
Wait! Dr. McCormick,
you forgot your chin diaper!
1250
00:54:23,260 --> 00:54:24,395
(alarm blaring)
1251
00:54:24,495 --> 00:54:26,030
Something's wrong!
1252
00:54:26,130 --> 00:54:28,633
-(explosions)
-(electronic trilling)
1253
00:54:29,400 --> 00:54:31,302
(shouting)
1254
00:54:48,386 --> 00:54:51,021
(coughing)
1255
00:54:53,424 --> 00:54:56,160
All this time,
the bad guys we were after,
1256
00:54:56,260 --> 00:55:00,865
who Kenny said ruined
the future, was you guys?
1257
00:55:00,965 --> 00:55:03,167
Wendy, I've been trying
not to say anything but...
1258
00:55:03,267 --> 00:55:06,170
your friends are all
kind of douchebags.
1259
00:55:08,072 --> 00:55:10,107
* *
1260
00:55:10,207 --> 00:55:11,509
Kenny was right.
1261
00:55:11,609 --> 00:55:13,678
All this time,
we've been trying to figure out
1262
00:55:13,778 --> 00:55:16,347
whose fault this all was.
1263
00:55:16,447 --> 00:55:18,282
It was our fault.
1264
00:55:18,383 --> 00:55:20,518
I remember when we were kids.
1265
00:55:20,618 --> 00:55:23,087
We were so optimistic.
1266
00:55:23,187 --> 00:55:26,857
We lost that.
We lost our sense of fun.
1267
00:55:26,957 --> 00:55:29,226
Our sense of humor.
1268
00:55:29,326 --> 00:55:32,229
Maybe the pandemic
was a big test.
1269
00:55:32,329 --> 00:55:34,765
And we all failed.
1270
00:55:34,865 --> 00:55:37,301
Let's face it, guys.
1271
00:55:37,402 --> 00:55:39,336
We killed Kenny.
1272
00:55:42,607 --> 00:55:44,141
Yeah. Kenny was right.
1273
00:55:44,241 --> 00:55:46,911
Back in the old days,
we wouldn't give up like this.
1274
00:55:47,011 --> 00:55:48,813
We would have just set out
to save our friend,
1275
00:55:48,913 --> 00:55:50,881
no matter how impossible
it seemed.
1276
00:55:50,981 --> 00:55:52,850
What we would have done--
1277
00:55:52,950 --> 00:55:54,485
and what we
should have done then--
1278
00:55:54,585 --> 00:55:56,387
was double down on our respect
1279
00:55:56,487 --> 00:55:59,156
and our love for one another
and fight through it
1280
00:55:59,256 --> 00:56:01,592
instead of
fighting with each other.
1281
00:56:01,692 --> 00:56:03,327
We can save Kenny.
1282
00:56:03,428 --> 00:56:05,062
We just have to finish his work.
1283
00:56:05,162 --> 00:56:07,665
How? We don't know anything
about quantum physics
1284
00:56:07,765 --> 00:56:09,266
and time travel.
1285
00:56:09,366 --> 00:56:12,837
I don't know how.
But we start by believing.
1286
00:56:12,937 --> 00:56:15,773
In each other
and in what is yet to come.
1287
00:56:15,873 --> 00:56:19,309
We have to go back to being
those kids we once were.
1288
00:56:19,410 --> 00:56:22,880
Even if it means
calling Jesus or Santa.
1289
00:56:22,980 --> 00:56:24,715
Come on, guys,
we've got work to do!
1290
00:56:24,815 --> 00:56:27,652
Sounds good.
I'll be right back.
1291
00:56:29,654 --> 00:56:31,388
Moisha, Hackelm, kids,
get your things.
1292
00:56:31,489 --> 00:56:32,490
We need to go now.
1293
00:56:32,590 --> 00:56:33,958
What's going on, Dad?
1294
00:56:34,058 --> 00:56:36,160
Your Uncle Kyle wants to
go back and change things.
1295
00:56:36,260 --> 00:56:38,596
He's going to try
and change the past.
1296
00:56:38,696 --> 00:56:41,198
But I like things
the way they are.
1297
00:56:41,298 --> 00:56:44,168
Me too, Dad. Do you think
he'll be able to do it?
1298
00:56:44,268 --> 00:56:45,736
No, kids.
1299
00:56:45,836 --> 00:56:47,572
Fuck Uncle Kyle.
1300
00:56:47,672 --> 00:56:48,706
BOTH:
Yay!
1301
00:56:48,806 --> 00:56:50,808
-Yay, Daddy!
-Fuck Uncle Kyle!
1302
00:56:54,679 --> 00:56:56,914
It wasn't supposed
to be like this.
1303
00:56:57,014 --> 00:57:00,084
People were supposed to
get kinder in the future.
1304
00:57:00,918 --> 00:57:03,554
I'm so sorry
what happened to both of you.
1305
00:57:03,654 --> 00:57:06,390
It wasn't your fault, Randy.
1306
00:57:06,491 --> 00:57:08,759
It was all Stan's fault.
1307
00:57:08,859 --> 00:57:12,396
Yes, it was all Stan's fault.
1308
00:57:13,197 --> 00:57:15,332
Thanks for saying that,
you guys.
1309
00:57:15,432 --> 00:57:17,868
I'm sorry Stan
sucks so hard sometimes.
1310
00:57:17,968 --> 00:57:20,270
Don't give up, Randy.
1311
00:57:20,370 --> 00:57:22,239
Humanity needs you.
1312
00:57:22,339 --> 00:57:23,941
No!
1313
00:57:24,041 --> 00:57:26,176
I can't do it alone!
1314
00:57:26,276 --> 00:57:29,747
How can things possibly go
back to the way they were?
1315
00:57:29,847 --> 00:57:32,082
(wind gusting)
1316
00:57:42,760 --> 00:57:44,361
It can't be.
1317
00:57:44,461 --> 00:57:45,830
It's impossible.
1318
00:57:48,165 --> 00:57:52,436
It's the last little
sprout of Tegridy.
1319
00:57:58,442 --> 00:58:00,611
I have to get you
somewhere safe.
1320
00:58:00,711 --> 00:58:03,047
We have a lot of work to do.
1321
00:58:03,814 --> 00:58:06,050
* *
1322
00:58:10,588 --> 00:58:12,823
(footsteps echoing)
1323
00:58:16,661 --> 00:58:19,196
(people wailing)
1324
00:58:19,296 --> 00:58:22,299
(crazed laughter)
1325
00:58:23,934 --> 00:58:28,072
We just had another call asking
to speak with Victor Chouce.
1326
00:58:28,172 --> 00:58:31,008
You're quite a popular man,
Victor.
1327
00:58:34,444 --> 00:58:37,114
I wonder what
all the fuss is about.
1328
00:58:40,117 --> 00:58:43,788
Don't feel like talking, huh?
(chuckles)
1329
00:58:43,888 --> 00:58:46,123
You will.
1330
00:58:49,026 --> 00:58:51,328
* We are all, you and me *
1331
00:58:51,428 --> 00:58:55,132
* We are all living
in the future *
1332
00:58:55,232 --> 00:58:57,568
* We can't get stuff
'cause boats are late *
1333
00:58:57,668 --> 00:59:01,872
* And nobody's working
in the future *
1334
00:59:03,841 --> 00:59:08,145
* They don't sell tostadas
anymore at Taco Bell *
1335
00:59:08,245 --> 00:59:10,380
* Welcome to the future *
1336
00:59:11,315 --> 00:59:12,917
* In the future *
1337
00:59:14,318 --> 00:59:16,854
* We are living in the future *
1338
00:59:17,955 --> 00:59:20,090
* It's the future *
1339
00:59:21,058 --> 00:59:23,260
* We're living in the future. *
93077
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