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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:20,135 --> 00:00:22,177 ♪ ♪ 2 00:00:23,885 --> 00:00:25,927 Dear Evan Hansen... 3 00:00:38,011 --> 00:00:41,178 ...today is going to be an amazing day, 4 00:00:41,303 --> 00:00:43,095 and here's why. 5 00:00:46,596 --> 00:00:50,762 Because today, all you have to do is just be yourself. 6 00:00:52,554 --> 00:00:55,262 But also confident. That's-that's important. 7 00:00:55,387 --> 00:00:57,262 And interesting. Easy to talk to. 8 00:00:57,387 --> 00:00:59,054 Approachable. But mostly just be yourself. 9 00:00:59,179 --> 00:01:00,721 You know, that's number one, obviously. Be yourself. 10 00:01:00,846 --> 00:01:02,638 But, like, a confident version of yourself, 11 00:01:02,763 --> 00:01:04,930 like, approachable and interesting 12 00:01:05,055 --> 00:01:06,555 and not weird or anxious or depressed. 13 00:01:06,680 --> 00:01:08,263 But you're not weird or anxious or depressed. 14 00:01:08,388 --> 00:01:09,888 I don't even know why you're bringing it up. 15 00:01:10,013 --> 00:01:11,055 You can't be scared to talk to other people. 16 00:01:11,180 --> 00:01:12,638 You said that you'd be better. 17 00:01:12,763 --> 00:01:13,597 You said this year would be different. 18 00:01:13,722 --> 00:01:14,763 You're overthinking it. 19 00:01:14,888 --> 00:01:16,347 Do you like having no friends? 20 00:01:16,472 --> 00:01:17,889 All you have to do is just be yourself. 21 00:01:18,014 --> 00:01:20,764 ♪ I've learned to slam on the brake ♪ 22 00:01:20,889 --> 00:01:24,389 ♪ Before I even turn the key ♪ 23 00:01:24,514 --> 00:01:27,473 ♪ Before I make the mistake ♪ 24 00:01:27,598 --> 00:01:30,848 ♪ Before I lead with the worst of me ♪ 25 00:01:30,973 --> 00:01:34,099 ♪ Give them no reason to stare ♪ 26 00:01:34,224 --> 00:01:37,599 ♪ No slipping up if you slip away ♪ 27 00:01:37,724 --> 00:01:40,932 ♪ So I got nothing to share ♪ 28 00:01:41,057 --> 00:01:44,140 ♪ No, I got nothing to say ♪ 29 00:01:44,265 --> 00:01:46,390 ♪ Step out, step out of the sun ♪ 30 00:01:46,515 --> 00:01:49,183 ♪ If you keep getting burned ♪ 31 00:01:51,058 --> 00:01:55,516 ♪ Step out, step out of the sun because you've learned ♪ 32 00:01:55,641 --> 00:01:59,391 ♪ Because you've learned ♪ 33 00:01:59,516 --> 00:02:02,016 ♪ On the outside always looking in ♪ 34 00:02:02,141 --> 00:02:05,267 ♪ Will I ever be more than I've always been? ♪ 35 00:02:05,392 --> 00:02:08,892 ♪ 'Cause I'm tap, tap, tapping on the glass ♪ 36 00:02:09,017 --> 00:02:11,601 ♪ I'm waving through a window ♪ 37 00:02:11,726 --> 00:02:14,934 ♪ I try to speak, but nobody can hear ♪ 38 00:02:15,059 --> 00:02:19,226 ♪ So I wait around for an answer to appear ♪ 39 00:02:19,351 --> 00:02:22,143 ♪ While I'm watch, watch, watching people pass ♪ 40 00:02:22,268 --> 00:02:24,852 ♪ I'm waving through a window ♪ 41 00:02:27,435 --> 00:02:29,685 ♪ Can anybody see? ♪ 42 00:02:29,810 --> 00:02:34,477 ♪ Is anybody waving back at me? ♪ 43 00:02:34,602 --> 00:02:37,019 ♪ ♪ 44 00:02:44,894 --> 00:02:46,519 So you just didn't eat last night? 45 00:02:46,644 --> 00:02:48,353 I wasn't hungry. 46 00:02:48,478 --> 00:02:50,019 You're a senior in high school. 47 00:02:50,144 --> 00:02:51,561 You need to be able to order dinner for yourself. 48 00:02:51,686 --> 00:02:52,894 You can do it all online. 49 00:02:53,020 --> 00:02:54,729 You don't have to talk to anybody. 50 00:02:54,854 --> 00:02:56,562 Okay, well, that's not, that's not true, actually, though, 51 00:02:56,687 --> 00:02:58,270 because, um, the credit card's expired, so you have to meet 52 00:02:58,395 --> 00:03:00,229 the delivery person at the door, you know? 53 00:03:00,354 --> 00:03:01,520 You have to pay them with cash at the door. 54 00:03:01,645 --> 00:03:02,937 You have to greet them. 55 00:03:03,062 --> 00:03:04,312 You know, you have to figure out the right, 56 00:03:04,437 --> 00:03:06,395 the right, um... the-the proper greeting. 57 00:03:06,520 --> 00:03:07,562 Okay. 58 00:03:08,938 --> 00:03:10,813 This is what you're supposed to be working on, sweetheart, 59 00:03:10,938 --> 00:03:12,480 with Dr. Sherman. 60 00:03:12,605 --> 00:03:14,730 Have you been doing those letters he wants you to do? 61 00:03:14,855 --> 00:03:16,271 "Dear Evan Hansen." 62 00:03:16,396 --> 00:03:19,521 I mean, I've definitely... I-I've been trying to. 63 00:03:19,646 --> 00:03:20,688 Those letters are important, honey. 64 00:03:20,813 --> 00:03:22,313 You have to keep working. 65 00:03:22,438 --> 00:03:24,939 We can't go back to where you were last year, right? 66 00:03:25,064 --> 00:03:26,731 Um, you have an appointment this afternoon. 67 00:03:26,856 --> 00:03:28,272 I'm working till 6:00, 68 00:03:28,397 --> 00:03:30,689 so you're gonna have to take the bus. 69 00:03:30,814 --> 00:03:32,231 Hey. 70 00:03:32,356 --> 00:03:33,772 I thought you could go around 71 00:03:33,897 --> 00:03:36,314 and ask all the other kids to sign your cast. 72 00:03:36,439 --> 00:03:37,814 Perfect icebreaker, right? 73 00:03:39,856 --> 00:03:42,482 - What happened to your shirt? - There was a stain on it. 74 00:03:42,607 --> 00:03:44,482 - Wha... But it's brand-new. - Yes, I know. 75 00:03:44,607 --> 00:03:46,648 I was... I'm so mad. 76 00:03:46,773 --> 00:03:49,148 ♪ We start with stars in our eyes ♪ 77 00:03:50,357 --> 00:03:53,440 ♪ We start believing that we belong ♪ 78 00:03:53,565 --> 00:03:56,690 ♪ But every sun doesn't rise ♪ 79 00:03:56,815 --> 00:04:00,108 ♪ And no one tells you where you went wrong ♪ 80 00:04:00,233 --> 00:04:02,608 ♪ Step out, step out of the sun ♪ 81 00:04:02,733 --> 00:04:04,816 ♪ If you keep getting burned ♪ 82 00:04:06,774 --> 00:04:10,733 ♪ Step out, step out of the sun because you've learned ♪ 83 00:04:10,858 --> 00:04:13,150 ♪ Because you've learned ♪ 84 00:04:13,275 --> 00:04:15,984 ♪ On the outside always looking in ♪ 85 00:04:16,109 --> 00:04:18,775 ♪ Will I ever be more than I've always been? ♪ 86 00:04:18,900 --> 00:04:22,942 ♪ 'Cause I'm tap, tap, tapping on the glass ♪ 87 00:04:23,067 --> 00:04:25,234 ♪ Waving through a window ♪ 88 00:04:25,359 --> 00:04:29,068 ♪ I try to speak, but nobody can hear ♪ 89 00:04:29,193 --> 00:04:32,193 ♪ So I wait around for an answer to appear ♪ 90 00:04:32,318 --> 00:04:36,068 ♪ While I'm watch, watch, watching people pass ♪ 91 00:04:36,193 --> 00:04:38,360 ♪ Waving through a window ♪ 92 00:04:40,901 --> 00:04:43,110 ♪ Can anybody see? ♪ 93 00:04:43,235 --> 00:04:45,611 ♪ Is anybody waving? ♪ 94 00:04:45,736 --> 00:04:46,986 ♪ When you're falling in a forest ♪ 95 00:04:47,111 --> 00:04:49,069 ♪ And there's nobody around ♪ 96 00:04:49,194 --> 00:04:52,152 ♪ Do you ever really crash or even make a sound? ♪ 97 00:04:52,277 --> 00:04:53,694 ♪ When you're falling in a forest ♪ 98 00:04:53,819 --> 00:04:55,569 ♪ And there's nobody around ♪ 99 00:04:55,694 --> 00:04:58,777 ♪ Do you ever really crash or even make a sound? ♪ 100 00:04:58,902 --> 00:05:00,402 ♪ When you're falling in a forest ♪ 101 00:05:00,527 --> 00:05:02,195 ♪ And there's nobody around ♪ 102 00:05:02,320 --> 00:05:05,028 ♪ Do you ever really crash or even make a sound? ♪ 103 00:05:05,153 --> 00:05:07,070 ♪ When you're falling in a forest ♪ 104 00:05:07,195 --> 00:05:08,862 ♪ And there's nobody around ♪ 105 00:05:08,987 --> 00:05:12,237 ♪ Do you ever really crash or even make a sound? ♪ 106 00:05:12,362 --> 00:05:15,237 ♪ Did I even make a sound? Did I even make a sound? ♪ 107 00:05:15,362 --> 00:05:16,695 ♪ It's like I never made a sound ♪ 108 00:05:16,821 --> 00:05:19,863 ♪ Will I ever make a sound? ♪ 109 00:05:19,988 --> 00:05:22,571 ♪ On the outside always looking in ♪ 110 00:05:22,696 --> 00:05:25,821 ♪ Will I ever be more than I've always been? ♪ 111 00:05:25,946 --> 00:05:29,404 ♪ 'Cause I'm tap, tap, tapping on the glass ♪ 112 00:05:29,529 --> 00:05:31,488 ♪ Waving through a window ♪ 113 00:05:31,613 --> 00:05:35,405 ♪ I try to speak, but nobody can hear ♪ 114 00:05:35,530 --> 00:05:38,780 ♪ So I wait around for an answer to appear ♪ 115 00:05:38,905 --> 00:05:42,780 ♪ While I'm watch, watch, watching people pass ♪ 116 00:05:42,905 --> 00:05:45,072 ♪ Waving through a window ♪ 117 00:05:47,655 --> 00:05:49,948 ♪ Can anybody see? ♪ 118 00:05:50,073 --> 00:05:55,531 ♪ Is anybody waving back at me? ♪ 119 00:05:55,656 --> 00:05:58,948 ♪ Is anybody waving? ♪ 120 00:05:59,073 --> 00:06:02,365 ♪ Waving, waving ♪ 121 00:06:02,490 --> 00:06:04,698 ♪ Whoa... ♪ 122 00:06:04,824 --> 00:06:10,657 ♪ Whoa. ♪ 123 00:06:10,782 --> 00:06:12,241 ♪ Let's go, Bobcats, let's go... ♪ 124 00:06:14,366 --> 00:06:15,491 Evan. 125 00:06:17,032 --> 00:06:18,157 What? 126 00:06:18,282 --> 00:06:19,616 It's Zoe Murphy 127 00:06:19,741 --> 00:06:22,325 in that hot band shirt you love so much. 128 00:06:22,450 --> 00:06:23,783 Can you just... Can you please stop? 129 00:06:23,908 --> 00:06:25,492 Well, hey, maybe she's into you, too. 130 00:06:25,617 --> 00:06:26,992 Maybe you should talk to her, tell her how you feel. 131 00:06:27,117 --> 00:06:28,825 I've tried talking to her. 132 00:06:28,950 --> 00:06:30,283 Really? 133 00:06:30,408 --> 00:06:32,658 Yes. Yeah, I... 134 00:06:32,783 --> 00:06:34,283 I stayed afterwards, um, last year 135 00:06:34,408 --> 00:06:36,075 after the spring jazz band concert, 136 00:06:36,200 --> 00:06:37,701 but, um, I didn't go up to her 137 00:06:37,826 --> 00:06:39,701 because I was worried that my hands were sweaty. 138 00:06:39,826 --> 00:06:41,284 Which they weren't even, they weren't even that sweaty. 139 00:06:41,409 --> 00:06:42,784 I just... I was worried that they were sweaty, 140 00:06:42,909 --> 00:06:44,409 and sometimes worrying that they're sweaty 141 00:06:44,534 --> 00:06:46,076 makes them sweaty, so I just went to the bathroom 142 00:06:46,201 --> 00:06:47,534 and I put 'em under, like, the hand dryer thing, 143 00:06:47,659 --> 00:06:49,118 but then they were still sweaty. 144 00:06:49,243 --> 00:06:51,451 They were just, um... They were just also warm. 145 00:06:53,077 --> 00:06:54,869 I was kidding. 146 00:06:54,994 --> 00:06:56,410 You obviously should not talk to her. 147 00:06:56,535 --> 00:06:57,910 You are a literal disaster. 148 00:07:05,869 --> 00:07:07,785 Go, Bobcats! 149 00:07:13,370 --> 00:07:15,245 Go, Bobcats. 150 00:07:15,370 --> 00:07:16,328 So awesome. 151 00:07:16,453 --> 00:07:18,078 So awesome, everyone. 152 00:07:18,203 --> 00:07:19,453 Phenomenal, really. 153 00:07:19,578 --> 00:07:21,911 You know what's not phenomenal? 154 00:07:22,036 --> 00:07:23,328 Deforestation. 155 00:07:23,453 --> 00:07:25,621 So, what happened to your arm exactly? 156 00:07:25,746 --> 00:07:28,287 Um, I was climbing a tree, and I fell. 157 00:07:28,412 --> 00:07:29,829 It was stupid. 158 00:07:29,954 --> 00:07:31,912 You fell out of a tree? What are you, five? 159 00:07:32,037 --> 00:07:33,829 Well, um... 160 00:07:33,954 --> 00:07:35,704 So, actually, I-I worked this summer 161 00:07:35,829 --> 00:07:38,621 as an apprentice park ranger at Ellison State Park. 162 00:07:40,705 --> 00:07:42,913 It's a funny story, though, because... 163 00:07:43,038 --> 00:07:44,830 there was, like, this solid ten minutes after I fell 164 00:07:44,955 --> 00:07:46,580 where I just lay there on the ground, 165 00:07:46,705 --> 00:07:48,872 um, waiting for someone to come get me, you know? 166 00:07:48,997 --> 00:07:50,580 I was like, "Any second now." You know? 167 00:07:50,705 --> 00:07:51,997 I just kept... I, like... I was saying to myself, 168 00:07:52,122 --> 00:07:53,663 "Any second now. Here they come." So... 169 00:07:53,788 --> 00:07:54,955 Did they? 170 00:07:55,080 --> 00:07:56,247 No, nobody came. 171 00:07:56,372 --> 00:07:59,039 That's the, um... That's what's funny. 172 00:07:59,164 --> 00:08:00,373 That's not funny. 173 00:08:00,498 --> 00:08:01,873 Model U.N.... 174 00:08:01,998 --> 00:08:04,289 Well, anyways, um, how was... Did you, um... 175 00:08:04,414 --> 00:08:05,748 How was camp? 176 00:08:05,873 --> 00:08:09,456 Well, I put on 13 pounds of pure muscle. 177 00:08:09,581 --> 00:08:12,248 Also, I hooked up with this Brazilian dude 178 00:08:12,373 --> 00:08:15,207 who is literally a supermodel. 179 00:08:16,457 --> 00:08:18,415 So, yeah, hope that answers your question. 180 00:08:18,540 --> 00:08:22,582 So let's have Mother Nature's back so that she'll have ours. 181 00:08:30,625 --> 00:08:32,541 Yeah! Yeah! 182 00:08:32,666 --> 00:08:34,916 All right, thank you, Alana. Very inspirational. 183 00:08:35,041 --> 00:08:36,750 All right, so let's have a great year, 184 00:08:36,875 --> 00:08:39,041 and, go, Bobcats! 185 00:08:48,709 --> 00:08:51,667 Hey, um... 186 00:08:51,792 --> 00:08:53,251 would you want to sign my cast? 187 00:08:53,376 --> 00:08:54,917 You could, you could be the first. 188 00:08:55,042 --> 00:08:56,834 Why would I do that? 189 00:08:57,834 --> 00:09:00,793 Well, I just... I thought, um, because we're friends and... 190 00:09:00,918 --> 00:09:02,502 We're family friends, Evan. 191 00:09:02,627 --> 00:09:03,877 That's an entirely different thing. 192 00:09:04,002 --> 00:09:05,460 Please respect that. 193 00:09:16,919 --> 00:09:18,753 Connor, I'm loving this manicure. 194 00:09:18,878 --> 00:09:21,253 - Very school shooter chic. - You're such an idiot. 195 00:09:21,378 --> 00:09:22,544 That is so not... 196 00:09:23,919 --> 00:09:25,919 ♪ Here we go, Bobcats, here we go. ♪ 197 00:09:32,712 --> 00:09:34,795 You think that's funny? 198 00:09:34,920 --> 00:09:37,170 What? No. Not-not at all. 199 00:09:39,170 --> 00:09:41,045 Then stop laughing! 200 00:09:51,463 --> 00:09:52,921 Hey. 201 00:09:56,588 --> 00:09:58,088 I'm sorry about my brother. 202 00:09:58,213 --> 00:09:59,963 He's a psycho. 203 00:10:01,630 --> 00:10:03,546 Evan, right? 204 00:10:04,547 --> 00:10:05,672 Evan? 205 00:10:06,631 --> 00:10:09,797 That-That's your, that's your name? 206 00:10:09,922 --> 00:10:11,422 Y-Yeah, it is. It is. Sorry. 207 00:10:11,547 --> 00:10:13,464 It's Evan. It's Evan. I'm sorry. 208 00:10:13,589 --> 00:10:15,381 Why are you sorry? 209 00:10:15,506 --> 00:10:18,131 'Cause you s-s... you said Evan, and then I said it, you know? 210 00:10:18,256 --> 00:10:20,381 I just repeated it, which is, um... 211 00:10:20,506 --> 00:10:23,132 That's just really annoying when people do that, so... 212 00:10:25,090 --> 00:10:26,507 I'm Zoe. 213 00:10:34,173 --> 00:10:36,924 Sorry. I should... I think... Sorry. 214 00:10:43,883 --> 00:10:45,924 ♪ ♪ 215 00:10:56,217 --> 00:10:58,009 Dear Evan Hansen, 216 00:10:58,134 --> 00:11:01,217 turns out this wasn't an amazing day after all. 217 00:11:02,217 --> 00:11:05,092 This isn't gonna be an amazing week or an amazing year 218 00:11:05,217 --> 00:11:07,467 because why would it be? 219 00:11:11,926 --> 00:11:13,968 I know. Because there's Zoe. 220 00:11:14,093 --> 00:11:18,260 Who I don't even know and who doesn't know me, but... 221 00:11:20,426 --> 00:11:22,760 Maybe if I did, maybe if I could just talk to her, 222 00:11:22,885 --> 00:11:25,136 maybe things would be better. 223 00:11:27,052 --> 00:11:28,469 Or... 224 00:11:29,844 --> 00:11:31,886 ...maybe nothing would be different at all. 225 00:11:34,094 --> 00:11:36,469 I wish everything was different. 226 00:11:36,594 --> 00:11:38,261 I wish I was different. 227 00:11:38,386 --> 00:11:40,052 I wish I was part of something. 228 00:11:40,177 --> 00:11:44,178 I wish that anything I said mattered to anyone. 229 00:11:45,595 --> 00:11:48,470 But it doesn't, and it never did. 230 00:11:50,428 --> 00:11:52,303 And it never will. 231 00:11:54,678 --> 00:11:59,929 I mean, face it, would anyone even notice if I just... 232 00:12:00,054 --> 00:12:02,138 disappeared tomorrow? 233 00:12:02,263 --> 00:12:05,846 Sincerely, your best and most dearest friend, 234 00:12:05,971 --> 00:12:07,513 Me. 235 00:12:14,805 --> 00:12:16,222 Hey. 236 00:12:16,347 --> 00:12:17,847 What happened to your arm? 237 00:12:21,097 --> 00:12:22,347 Um... 238 00:12:23,805 --> 00:12:25,514 I was climbing a tree, and I fell. 239 00:12:25,639 --> 00:12:27,639 You fell out of a tree? 240 00:12:30,015 --> 00:12:32,348 That's the saddest thing I've ever heard. 241 00:12:34,056 --> 00:12:35,515 I know. 242 00:12:43,306 --> 00:12:46,474 S-Sorry, um, I think I accidentally printed something. 243 00:12:46,599 --> 00:12:48,557 Yeah, we're all waiting. 244 00:12:50,057 --> 00:12:51,932 Um, no one signed your cast. 245 00:12:53,182 --> 00:12:54,474 No, I-I know. 246 00:12:54,599 --> 00:12:55,891 I'll sign it. 247 00:12:56,891 --> 00:12:58,391 You don't... you really don't have to... 248 00:12:58,516 --> 00:12:59,724 Do you have a Sharpie? 249 00:12:59,849 --> 00:13:02,475 Um, I don't. Shoot. 250 00:13:02,600 --> 00:13:04,267 Here's one. 251 00:13:06,767 --> 00:13:08,183 Nice. 252 00:13:22,809 --> 00:13:25,559 Wow, that's great. 253 00:13:25,684 --> 00:13:28,559 Now we can both pretend we have friends. 254 00:13:34,935 --> 00:13:36,685 "Dear Evan Hansen." Here you go. 255 00:13:36,810 --> 00:13:38,394 Y-Yeah, that's mine. That's mine. 256 00:13:38,519 --> 00:13:40,727 - I'll... I can take it, sorry. - "Because there's Zoe..." 257 00:13:41,894 --> 00:13:43,269 Is this about my sister? 258 00:13:43,394 --> 00:13:46,060 What? No, no. Who's-who's your sister? 259 00:13:46,185 --> 00:13:48,978 - You wanted me to find this? - What? 260 00:13:49,103 --> 00:13:51,978 You saw I was here, so you started writing this 261 00:13:52,103 --> 00:13:53,436 - and you started talking to me. - No. 262 00:13:53,561 --> 00:13:54,728 No, you started talking to me. 263 00:13:54,853 --> 00:13:56,145 So that I would read some creepy shit 264 00:13:56,270 --> 00:13:58,145 about my sister and freak out, right? 265 00:13:58,270 --> 00:13:59,811 - Why would I do that? - So then you can tell everyone 266 00:13:59,936 --> 00:14:02,020 that I'm crazy. Right? 267 00:14:02,145 --> 00:14:04,854 - Right?! - Gentlemen! - 268 00:14:06,312 --> 00:14:08,021 No, I really... 269 00:14:08,146 --> 00:14:10,771 Look, I really need that back, so can... 270 00:14:10,896 --> 00:14:12,729 Look, can you please just give it back? 271 00:14:19,396 --> 00:14:21,230 Just-just please don't show it to anyone. 272 00:14:21,355 --> 00:14:22,563 Connor! 273 00:14:31,605 --> 00:14:33,980 ♪ ♪ 274 00:14:34,105 --> 00:14:35,772 Come on. 275 00:14:37,356 --> 00:14:39,564 Shit, shit. 276 00:14:45,481 --> 00:14:48,439 ♪ ♪ 277 00:15:09,358 --> 00:15:11,108 ♪ ♪ 278 00:15:16,608 --> 00:15:17,983 Hi. 279 00:15:18,108 --> 00:15:19,733 Hi, honey. I'm so sorry. 280 00:15:19,858 --> 00:15:21,275 Erica called in at the last minute with a stomach bug, 281 00:15:21,400 --> 00:15:23,733 and there's only one other nurse on tonight, 282 00:15:23,858 --> 00:15:25,859 so I-I volunteered to take her shift. 283 00:15:25,984 --> 00:15:27,567 I hope you weren't waiting for me to eat. 284 00:15:27,692 --> 00:15:30,234 - No, I already ate. - Um, it's just they, 285 00:15:30,359 --> 00:15:31,942 they announced more budget cuts this morning, 286 00:15:32,067 --> 00:15:33,276 so anything I can do to show 287 00:15:33,401 --> 00:15:34,526 that I'm a team player, you know? 288 00:15:34,651 --> 00:15:36,567 - How was your day? - Fine. 289 00:15:36,692 --> 00:15:38,151 It was, it was pretty good. 290 00:15:38,276 --> 00:15:40,735 Yeah? You know, I-I texted with Meera this morning, 291 00:15:40,860 --> 00:15:42,485 and she said that Jared was 292 00:15:42,610 --> 00:15:44,610 really looking forward to seeing you and reconnecting. 293 00:15:44,735 --> 00:15:46,193 I thought that was nice. 294 00:15:46,318 --> 00:15:48,652 Yeah, he's so nice. 295 00:15:48,777 --> 00:15:50,360 - How was Dr. Sherman? - Pretty good. 296 00:15:50,485 --> 00:15:52,235 Any change to your meds? 297 00:15:53,818 --> 00:15:55,360 Um, no. 298 00:15:55,485 --> 00:15:57,653 God, here he comes. Um, all right, I-I-I... 299 00:15:57,778 --> 00:15:59,111 All right, love you. Bye. 300 00:15:59,236 --> 00:16:01,486 Okay, I love you... 301 00:16:01,611 --> 00:16:02,986 too. 302 00:16:05,986 --> 00:16:07,694 A letter to yourself. I mean, what is that, 303 00:16:07,819 --> 00:16:09,444 like some kind of sex thing? 304 00:16:09,569 --> 00:16:11,236 No. No, it's not a sex thing. 305 00:16:11,361 --> 00:16:12,904 It's... It was an assignment from my therapist. 306 00:16:13,029 --> 00:16:14,779 Ew. Why-why are you telling me this? 307 00:16:14,904 --> 00:16:16,154 Well, I didn't know who else to tell. 308 00:16:16,279 --> 00:16:18,279 You're my only f... family friend. 309 00:16:18,404 --> 00:16:19,737 That's sad. 310 00:16:19,862 --> 00:16:21,529 Look, Connor isn't here again today. 311 00:16:21,654 --> 00:16:23,320 That's-that's three days in a row. 312 00:16:23,445 --> 00:16:25,195 And h-he hasn't done anything with it yet, you know, 313 00:16:25,320 --> 00:16:26,487 like put it online or whatever, 314 00:16:26,612 --> 00:16:28,238 because I've-I've been checking. 315 00:16:28,363 --> 00:16:30,780 So, you know, maybe he just... maybe he forgot, right? 316 00:16:30,905 --> 00:16:32,655 Right. Right. 317 00:16:32,780 --> 00:16:34,196 Or maybe he didn't, 318 00:16:34,321 --> 00:16:35,780 because he's definitely gonna put it online. 319 00:16:35,905 --> 00:16:37,863 Dude, Connor Murphy is batshit. 320 00:16:37,988 --> 00:16:39,988 Don't you remember when he threw a printer at Mrs. G 321 00:16:40,113 --> 00:16:42,530 in the second grade because he couldn't be line leader? 322 00:16:42,655 --> 00:16:44,197 Like, he was seven. 323 00:16:44,322 --> 00:16:46,406 Just imagine what he's capable of now. 324 00:16:46,531 --> 00:16:48,322 Evan Hansen, please report 325 00:16:48,447 --> 00:16:49,656 to Mr. Howard's office. 326 00:16:49,781 --> 00:16:51,572 Damn. 327 00:16:57,031 --> 00:16:58,989 Evan. 328 00:17:02,407 --> 00:17:05,782 Connor Murphy's mother and stepfather are here to see you. 329 00:17:05,907 --> 00:17:07,532 They want to speak in private. 330 00:17:29,991 --> 00:17:31,699 Hi. 331 00:17:33,575 --> 00:17:34,700 Hello. 332 00:17:36,659 --> 00:17:38,367 Why don't you go ahead, honey. 333 00:17:38,492 --> 00:17:40,284 I'm going as fast as I can. 334 00:17:40,409 --> 00:17:43,367 Well, that's not what I said, is it? 335 00:17:46,159 --> 00:17:47,825 This is... 336 00:17:49,826 --> 00:17:52,785 Connor wanted you to have this. 337 00:18:06,077 --> 00:18:08,411 Yeah, we didn't know you were friends. 338 00:18:08,536 --> 00:18:09,952 Well, we didn't think 339 00:18:10,077 --> 00:18:12,827 Connor had any friends, frankly, and... 340 00:18:12,952 --> 00:18:15,619 and then we see this note, and it seems to suggest 341 00:18:15,744 --> 00:18:18,077 pretty clearly that you and Connor were... 342 00:18:18,202 --> 00:18:20,828 Or at least for Connor... 343 00:18:20,953 --> 00:18:22,703 "Dear Evan Hansen." He addressed it to you. 344 00:18:22,828 --> 00:18:24,953 He wrote it to you. 345 00:18:25,078 --> 00:18:27,703 These are the words that he wanted to share with you. 346 00:18:30,703 --> 00:18:33,370 His last words. 347 00:18:35,578 --> 00:18:37,829 Connor took his own life. 348 00:18:42,038 --> 00:18:43,288 He what? 349 00:18:44,288 --> 00:18:46,621 This is all we found with him. 350 00:18:46,746 --> 00:18:49,829 He had it folded up in his pocket. 351 00:18:54,289 --> 00:18:56,580 But this is... 352 00:18:56,705 --> 00:18:58,705 I'm sorry, Connor didn't... He... 353 00:18:58,830 --> 00:19:00,080 He didn't write this. 354 00:19:00,205 --> 00:19:02,455 Connor didn't, Connor didn't write this. 355 00:19:02,580 --> 00:19:04,789 What-what does that mean? 356 00:19:04,914 --> 00:19:06,664 Well, he's obviously in shock. 357 00:19:06,789 --> 00:19:08,623 - I mean, if Connor didn't write this... - I'm so sorry. 358 00:19:08,748 --> 00:19:10,581 Can I just... I should probably go, please. 359 00:19:10,706 --> 00:19:12,123 No, you don't understand. This is all that we have. 360 00:19:12,248 --> 00:19:15,040 This is the only thing that we have left. 361 00:19:15,165 --> 00:19:17,665 - Cynthia, listen to me. - No. No. Don't-don't go. 362 00:19:17,790 --> 00:19:19,415 Okay, then you take it. Please take it, okay? 363 00:19:19,540 --> 00:19:20,456 No. No, don't go. 364 00:19:20,581 --> 00:19:22,956 Don't. Please stay. Please. 365 00:19:28,707 --> 00:19:31,457 His best and most dearest friend. 366 00:19:33,416 --> 00:19:35,249 ♪ ♪ 367 00:19:45,333 --> 00:19:47,750 That's-that's Connor. 368 00:19:47,875 --> 00:19:48,958 Connor Murphy. 369 00:19:51,292 --> 00:19:52,667 Holy shit. 370 00:19:52,792 --> 00:19:54,292 They invited me for dinner. 371 00:19:54,417 --> 00:19:56,043 They want to know more stuff about Connor and me, 372 00:19:56,168 --> 00:19:58,168 about our... friendship. 373 00:19:58,293 --> 00:20:00,126 - A-And you said yes? - I froze. 374 00:20:00,251 --> 00:20:02,834 Well... what are you gonna tell them? 375 00:20:02,959 --> 00:20:04,293 I mean, the truth. 376 00:20:04,418 --> 00:20:05,876 I-I don't know, man. 377 00:20:06,001 --> 00:20:07,501 I mean, are you really gonna tell these people 378 00:20:07,626 --> 00:20:09,043 that the only thing they have left of their son 379 00:20:09,168 --> 00:20:11,334 is a sex letter that you wrote to yourself? 380 00:20:11,459 --> 00:20:12,627 Hey. 381 00:20:12,752 --> 00:20:15,002 I'm so sorry. 382 00:20:15,127 --> 00:20:16,919 What the hell was that? 383 00:20:17,044 --> 00:20:19,419 I don't know. 384 00:20:19,544 --> 00:20:21,210 My God, they were so sad, his parents. 385 00:20:21,335 --> 00:20:24,669 I mean, his-his mom was just... 386 00:20:26,085 --> 00:20:28,253 I've never seen anyone so sad before. 387 00:20:29,211 --> 00:20:31,253 ♪ ♪ 388 00:20:35,878 --> 00:20:37,920 I have to tell them. 389 00:20:54,879 --> 00:20:56,129 You're early. 390 00:20:57,129 --> 00:20:59,379 S-Sorry. 391 00:21:01,838 --> 00:21:03,880 ♪ ♪ 392 00:21:11,422 --> 00:21:13,088 Sit. 393 00:21:18,089 --> 00:21:20,131 I hope you're hungry. 394 00:21:36,757 --> 00:21:38,132 So... 395 00:21:39,757 --> 00:21:41,340 ...you and Connor. 396 00:21:41,465 --> 00:21:43,590 You probably spent a lot of time together, I bet. 397 00:21:45,757 --> 00:21:48,216 So, um, not... 398 00:21:48,341 --> 00:21:50,175 not really, actually. 399 00:21:50,300 --> 00:21:53,175 - The thing is that I... - We looked through his phone. 400 00:21:54,300 --> 00:21:57,175 His texts, emails. 401 00:21:57,300 --> 00:21:58,591 We didn't find anything from you. 402 00:21:58,716 --> 00:21:59,925 Yeah, no, I know. 403 00:22:00,050 --> 00:22:01,175 - I know. - He set up different accounts, 404 00:22:01,300 --> 00:22:02,966 ones we couldn't find. 405 00:22:03,091 --> 00:22:04,634 He knew you read his emails. 406 00:22:04,759 --> 00:22:06,967 Well, somebody had to be the bad guy. 407 00:22:07,092 --> 00:22:09,634 Well, if you did have any 408 00:22:09,759 --> 00:22:12,759 emails or conversations between the two of you, 409 00:22:12,884 --> 00:22:15,759 we'd love to see anything. 410 00:22:15,884 --> 00:22:17,842 - Well... - Yeah, it's-it's weird. 411 00:22:17,967 --> 00:22:19,968 Th-The only time I saw you two together was 412 00:22:20,093 --> 00:22:22,718 when he was screaming in your face at school last week. 413 00:22:22,843 --> 00:22:24,010 He was screaming at you? 414 00:22:24,135 --> 00:22:25,427 Yeah, yeah, um... 415 00:22:25,552 --> 00:22:27,302 Well, that wasn't very nice. 416 00:22:27,427 --> 00:22:30,427 Well, Connor wasn't very nice, so that actually makes sense. 417 00:22:33,177 --> 00:22:35,260 I think that everybody at this table can agree 418 00:22:35,385 --> 00:22:37,261 that Connor was, um... 419 00:22:38,636 --> 00:22:40,886 ...a complicated person. 420 00:22:41,011 --> 00:22:43,094 No, he was a bad person. 421 00:22:43,219 --> 00:22:46,053 - Zoe, please. - Don't pretend like you don't agree with me. 422 00:22:46,178 --> 00:22:48,594 You refuse to remember any of the good things. 423 00:22:48,719 --> 00:22:51,929 Because there were no good things. 424 00:22:52,054 --> 00:22:54,720 What-what were the good things? 425 00:22:54,845 --> 00:22:56,470 I'm not having this conversation 426 00:22:56,595 --> 00:22:59,512 - in front of our guest. - No, tell us the good things. 427 00:22:59,637 --> 00:23:01,262 What were the good things? 428 00:23:01,387 --> 00:23:03,137 - Family day at Sunny Glen? - Zoe! 429 00:23:03,262 --> 00:23:04,595 This is not the time. 430 00:23:04,720 --> 00:23:06,095 Who knew rehab could be so much fun? 431 00:23:06,220 --> 00:23:07,554 There were good things. 432 00:23:08,388 --> 00:23:11,263 I'm not the only one. 433 00:23:11,388 --> 00:23:12,638 You remember, right? 434 00:23:16,596 --> 00:23:17,596 Right. 435 00:23:17,721 --> 00:23:19,013 Of course. 436 00:23:19,138 --> 00:23:20,680 Yes, of course there were good things. 437 00:23:20,805 --> 00:23:23,513 Tell us something. 438 00:23:23,638 --> 00:23:24,847 Please, Evan. 439 00:23:28,764 --> 00:23:30,639 Right, um... 440 00:23:30,764 --> 00:23:32,597 S... Connor and I... 441 00:23:34,139 --> 00:23:36,389 I d... I don't know, um... 442 00:23:38,431 --> 00:23:40,140 We had a really great... 443 00:23:40,265 --> 00:23:43,182 we had a really great time together, um... 444 00:23:43,307 --> 00:23:45,057 this one day recently. 445 00:23:45,182 --> 00:23:49,098 That's something good, um, that I remember. 446 00:23:49,223 --> 00:23:50,598 That day. 447 00:23:50,723 --> 00:23:52,307 Um... 448 00:23:52,432 --> 00:23:54,682 Yeah, that awesome day at the... 449 00:23:55,640 --> 00:23:57,474 ...um, trees. 450 00:23:59,558 --> 00:24:01,641 - Trees? - Never mind, never mind. 451 00:24:01,766 --> 00:24:04,474 I'm sorry, I don't, I don't... I shouldn't have said anything, 452 00:24:04,599 --> 00:24:06,224 and I-I knew it was stupid, so I'm sorry... 453 00:24:06,349 --> 00:24:07,641 You don't mean the orchard, do you? 454 00:24:10,974 --> 00:24:13,309 He took you to the apple orchard? 455 00:24:13,434 --> 00:24:15,392 - When? - Once. 456 00:24:15,517 --> 00:24:16,809 Just-just once. That once. 457 00:24:16,934 --> 00:24:19,434 I thought that place closed years ago. 458 00:24:19,559 --> 00:24:21,475 Well, the hiking trails are still open though, aren't they? 459 00:24:21,600 --> 00:24:24,059 We used to go to the orchard all of the time. 460 00:24:24,184 --> 00:24:25,892 We'd do picnics there. 461 00:24:26,017 --> 00:24:27,684 Do you remember that, Zoe? 462 00:24:27,810 --> 00:24:29,351 Yeah, I do. 463 00:24:29,476 --> 00:24:31,893 And you and Connor would fly that little toy plane 464 00:24:32,018 --> 00:24:34,060 until you crashed it into the creek. 465 00:24:35,685 --> 00:24:37,185 That was an emergency landing. 466 00:24:37,310 --> 00:24:40,143 I can't believe that he took you there. 467 00:24:40,268 --> 00:24:42,143 I bet you had fun. 468 00:24:42,268 --> 00:24:45,186 I bet the two of you... I... 469 00:24:45,311 --> 00:24:47,227 I bet that was fun. 470 00:24:48,227 --> 00:24:50,519 Yeah. 471 00:24:50,644 --> 00:24:52,394 We did. We did. 472 00:24:52,519 --> 00:24:53,394 The whole day. 473 00:24:53,519 --> 00:24:56,394 It-it was just... 474 00:24:56,519 --> 00:24:58,977 ♪ ♪ 475 00:24:59,102 --> 00:25:01,187 ♪ End of May or early June ♪ 476 00:25:01,312 --> 00:25:05,937 ♪ This picture-perfect afternoon we share ♪ 477 00:25:07,478 --> 00:25:10,145 What was the name of that ice cream place that we loved? 478 00:25:10,270 --> 00:25:11,312 Gifford's? 479 00:25:12,562 --> 00:25:13,645 A La Mode. 480 00:25:13,770 --> 00:25:15,520 That's it. A La Mode. 481 00:25:15,645 --> 00:25:17,729 And they had this homemade hot fudge. 482 00:25:17,854 --> 00:25:21,188 ♪ Drive the winding country road ♪ 483 00:25:21,313 --> 00:25:23,771 ♪ Grab a scoop at A La Mode ♪ 484 00:25:23,896 --> 00:25:25,438 ♪ And then we're there ♪ 485 00:25:25,563 --> 00:25:28,354 And we'd sit in that meadow by the pine trees, 486 00:25:28,479 --> 00:25:31,521 and you and your brother would look for four-leaf clovers. 487 00:25:31,647 --> 00:25:34,230 ♪ An open field that's framed with trees ♪ 488 00:25:34,355 --> 00:25:37,314 ♪ We pick a spot and... ♪ 489 00:25:37,439 --> 00:25:40,189 ♪ Shoot the breeze like buddies do ♪ 490 00:25:40,314 --> 00:25:43,397 ♪ Quoting songs by our favorite bands ♪ 491 00:25:43,522 --> 00:25:46,147 ♪ Telling jokes no one understands ♪ 492 00:25:46,272 --> 00:25:48,815 ♪ Except us two ♪ 493 00:25:48,940 --> 00:25:53,606 ♪ And we talk and take in the view ♪ 494 00:25:55,981 --> 00:26:00,606 ♪ All we see is sky for forever ♪ 495 00:26:00,731 --> 00:26:06,441 ♪ We let the world pass by for forever ♪ 496 00:26:06,566 --> 00:26:12,149 ♪ Feels like we could go on for forever this way ♪ 497 00:26:13,816 --> 00:26:17,357 ♪ Two friends on a perfect day ♪ 498 00:26:19,608 --> 00:26:22,317 I'd completely forgotten about that place. 499 00:26:22,442 --> 00:26:25,608 Well, I guess Connor didn't, did he? 500 00:26:26,650 --> 00:26:29,192 ♪ We walk a while and talk about ♪ 501 00:26:29,317 --> 00:26:33,567 ♪ The things we'll do when we get out of school ♪ 502 00:26:33,692 --> 00:26:36,359 ♪ Um... bike the Appalachian Trail ♪ 503 00:26:36,484 --> 00:26:39,026 ♪ Or write a book or learn to sail ♪ 504 00:26:39,151 --> 00:26:41,401 ♪ Wouldn't that be cool? ♪ 505 00:26:41,526 --> 00:26:43,859 ♪ There's nothing that we can't discuss ♪ 506 00:26:43,984 --> 00:26:46,734 ♪ Like girls we wish would notice us ♪ 507 00:26:46,859 --> 00:26:48,818 ♪ But never do ♪ 508 00:26:48,943 --> 00:26:51,359 ♪ He looks around and says to me ♪ 509 00:26:51,484 --> 00:26:53,735 ♪ "There's nowhere else I'd rather be" ♪ 510 00:26:53,860 --> 00:26:55,444 ♪ And I say, "Me, too" ♪ 511 00:26:55,569 --> 00:26:59,944 ♪ And we talk and take in the view ♪ 512 00:27:01,319 --> 00:27:05,652 ♪ We just talk and take in the view ♪ 513 00:27:06,985 --> 00:27:10,528 ♪ All we see is sky for forever ♪ 514 00:27:10,653 --> 00:27:16,611 ♪ We let the world pass by for forever ♪ 515 00:27:16,736 --> 00:27:22,736 ♪ Feels like we could go on for forever this way ♪ 516 00:27:22,861 --> 00:27:26,987 ♪ This way ♪ 517 00:27:27,112 --> 00:27:31,946 ♪ All we see is light for forever ♪ 518 00:27:32,071 --> 00:27:37,029 ♪ 'Cause the sun shines bright for forever ♪ 519 00:27:37,154 --> 00:27:43,613 ♪ Like we'll be all right for forever this way ♪ 520 00:27:43,738 --> 00:27:49,113 ♪ Two friends on a perfect day ♪ 521 00:27:49,238 --> 00:27:51,072 ♪ And there he goes ♪ 522 00:27:51,197 --> 00:27:53,738 ♪ Racing toward the tallest tree ♪ 523 00:27:53,863 --> 00:27:56,073 ♪ From far across a yellow field ♪ 524 00:27:56,198 --> 00:27:58,864 ♪ I hear him calling, "Follow me" ♪ 525 00:27:58,989 --> 00:28:00,739 ♪ There we go ♪ 526 00:28:00,864 --> 00:28:03,864 ♪ Wondering how the world might look from up so high ♪ 527 00:28:03,989 --> 00:28:06,531 ♪ One foot after the other ♪ 528 00:28:06,656 --> 00:28:08,781 ♪ One branch then to another ♪ 529 00:28:08,906 --> 00:28:10,906 ♪ I climb higher and higher ♪ 530 00:28:11,031 --> 00:28:13,990 ♪ I climb till the entire sun ♪ 531 00:28:14,115 --> 00:28:20,157 ♪ Shines on my face ♪ 532 00:28:22,449 --> 00:28:27,950 ♪ And I suddenly feel the branch give way ♪ 533 00:28:31,950 --> 00:28:33,825 ♪ I'm on the ground ♪ 534 00:28:35,533 --> 00:28:37,575 ♪ My arm goes numb ♪ 535 00:28:39,866 --> 00:28:41,575 ♪ I look around ♪ 536 00:28:41,700 --> 00:28:44,492 ♪ And I see him come to get me ♪ 537 00:28:46,742 --> 00:28:49,159 He's come to get me. 538 00:28:51,451 --> 00:28:54,034 ♪ And everything's okay ♪ 539 00:28:57,117 --> 00:29:01,827 ♪ All we see is sky for forever ♪ 540 00:29:01,952 --> 00:29:07,118 ♪ We let the world pass by for forever ♪ 541 00:29:08,660 --> 00:29:15,035 ♪ Buddy, you and I for forever this way ♪ 542 00:29:15,160 --> 00:29:18,244 ♪ This way ♪ 543 00:29:18,369 --> 00:29:23,869 ♪ All we see is light ♪ 544 00:29:23,994 --> 00:29:28,619 ♪ 'Cause the sun burns bright ♪ 545 00:29:28,744 --> 00:29:32,829 ♪ We could be all right for forever ♪ 546 00:29:32,954 --> 00:29:37,995 ♪ This way ♪ 547 00:29:38,120 --> 00:29:40,370 ♪ Two friends ♪ 548 00:29:42,329 --> 00:29:44,120 ♪ True friends ♪ 549 00:29:44,245 --> 00:29:47,204 ♪ On a perfect ♪ 550 00:29:48,413 --> 00:29:54,288 ♪ Day. ♪ 551 00:29:55,621 --> 00:29:58,246 Thank you, Evan. 552 00:29:58,371 --> 00:30:01,288 Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you. 553 00:30:04,872 --> 00:30:06,581 I mean, they think you were lovers. 554 00:30:06,706 --> 00:30:08,581 - You realize that, right? - My God. 555 00:30:08,706 --> 00:30:10,122 I thought you were gonna tell them the truth. 556 00:30:10,247 --> 00:30:11,789 I-I-I tried, but then I just... 557 00:30:11,914 --> 00:30:13,372 I got nervous and I started talking. 558 00:30:13,497 --> 00:30:14,914 And then once I started, I just... 559 00:30:15,039 --> 00:30:16,789 Couldn't stop. 560 00:30:16,914 --> 00:30:18,414 They didn't want me to stop. 561 00:30:18,539 --> 00:30:20,415 What else did you say to them? 562 00:30:20,540 --> 00:30:22,332 His mom thinks that we wrote emails to each other. 563 00:30:22,457 --> 00:30:23,873 Perfect. 564 00:30:23,998 --> 00:30:25,832 Sh-She thinks he had, like, secret accounts. 565 00:30:25,957 --> 00:30:27,790 Ha, yes. Secret email accounts. 566 00:30:27,915 --> 00:30:29,582 That's what all the cool kids are doing. 567 00:30:29,707 --> 00:30:31,123 Hansen! Kalwani! 568 00:30:31,248 --> 00:30:32,415 Pick it up! 569 00:30:32,540 --> 00:30:34,707 - No, thank you. - What was that? 570 00:30:34,832 --> 00:30:37,749 I said thank you for the encouragement! 571 00:30:37,874 --> 00:30:38,874 Fascist. 572 00:30:38,999 --> 00:30:40,749 She wants to see the emails. 573 00:30:40,874 --> 00:30:43,083 And now you want me to make a bunch of fake emails for you. 574 00:30:43,208 --> 00:30:44,708 - Classic. - You know how to do that? 575 00:30:44,833 --> 00:30:47,083 - It's simple coding. - But you failed coding. 576 00:30:47,208 --> 00:30:49,041 If you consider a D-minus failing. 577 00:30:49,166 --> 00:30:50,541 Just so we're clear, 578 00:30:50,666 --> 00:30:51,875 I charge a minimum of two grand per email, 579 00:30:52,000 --> 00:30:53,084 and that is a floor, not a ceiling. 580 00:30:53,209 --> 00:30:54,792 - $2,000? - 500. 581 00:30:54,917 --> 00:30:56,125 I didn't even ask for your help. 582 00:30:56,250 --> 00:30:57,667 250, bottom line. Take it or leave it. 583 00:30:57,792 --> 00:30:59,292 I could probably give you 20 bucks. 584 00:30:59,417 --> 00:31:01,209 Fine, but I'm not gonna act like I'm happy about it. 585 00:31:01,334 --> 00:31:03,417 ♪ ♪ 586 00:31:03,542 --> 00:31:05,084 ♪ Dear Evan Hansen ♪ 587 00:31:05,209 --> 00:31:08,418 ♪ We've been way too out of touch ♪ 588 00:31:08,543 --> 00:31:10,126 ♪ Things have been crazy ♪ 589 00:31:10,251 --> 00:31:13,376 ♪ And it sucks that we don't talk that much ♪ 590 00:31:13,501 --> 00:31:18,210 ♪ But I should tell you that I think of you each night ♪ 591 00:31:18,335 --> 00:31:22,210 ♪ I rub my nipples and start moaning with delight ♪ 592 00:31:22,376 --> 00:31:23,586 Why would you write that? 593 00:31:23,711 --> 00:31:25,169 I'm just trying to make it erotic. 594 00:31:25,294 --> 00:31:26,252 Look, if you can't take this seriously, then... 595 00:31:26,377 --> 00:31:27,586 Calm yourself, honey. 596 00:31:27,711 --> 00:31:28,961 I just want to get this over with. 597 00:31:29,086 --> 00:31:31,044 ♪ I gotta tell you ♪ 598 00:31:31,169 --> 00:31:33,419 ♪ Life without you has been hard ♪ 599 00:31:33,544 --> 00:31:34,627 - "Hard"? - ♪ Has been bad ♪ 600 00:31:34,752 --> 00:31:35,961 - "Bad"? - Has been rough. 601 00:31:36,086 --> 00:31:37,419 - Kinky. - Please stop. 602 00:31:37,544 --> 00:31:39,420 ♪ And I miss talking about life ♪ 603 00:31:39,545 --> 00:31:40,837 ♪ And other stuff ♪ 604 00:31:40,962 --> 00:31:43,003 - Very specific. - Shut up. 605 00:31:43,128 --> 00:31:45,170 - ♪ I like my parents ♪ - Who says that? 606 00:31:45,295 --> 00:31:47,128 ♪ I love my parents ♪ 607 00:31:47,253 --> 00:31:49,420 ♪ But each day's another fight ♪ 608 00:31:50,420 --> 00:31:52,170 ♪ If I stop smoking drugs ♪ 609 00:31:52,295 --> 00:31:54,753 ♪ Then everything might be all right ♪ 610 00:31:54,878 --> 00:31:56,129 "Smoking drugs"? 611 00:31:56,254 --> 00:31:57,754 Just fix it! 612 00:31:57,879 --> 00:32:00,213 - ♪ If I stop smoking crack ♪ - "Crack"? 613 00:32:00,338 --> 00:32:02,129 ♪ If I stop smoking pot ♪ 614 00:32:02,254 --> 00:32:05,129 ♪ Then everything might be all right ♪ 615 00:32:05,254 --> 00:32:07,421 ♪ I'll take your advice ♪ 616 00:32:07,546 --> 00:32:10,296 ♪ I'll try to be more nice ♪ 617 00:32:10,421 --> 00:32:11,547 ♪ I'll turn it around ♪ 618 00:32:11,672 --> 00:32:15,214 ♪ Wait and see ♪ 619 00:32:15,339 --> 00:32:20,005 ♪ 'Cause all that it takes is a little reinvention ♪ 620 00:32:20,130 --> 00:32:24,755 ♪ It's easy to change if you give it your attention ♪ 621 00:32:24,880 --> 00:32:27,214 ♪ All you got to do is just believe ♪ 622 00:32:27,340 --> 00:32:29,965 ♪ You can be who you want to be ♪ 623 00:32:30,090 --> 00:32:32,340 ♪ Sincerely, Me ♪ 624 00:32:32,465 --> 00:32:33,881 Are we done? 625 00:32:34,006 --> 00:32:35,465 Well, I mean, I can't just show them one email. 626 00:32:35,590 --> 00:32:37,465 I want to show that I was, like, a good friend. 627 00:32:37,590 --> 00:32:39,590 That I was trying to help him, you know? 628 00:32:39,715 --> 00:32:41,173 My God. 629 00:32:41,298 --> 00:32:43,299 ♪ Dear Connor Murphy ♪ 630 00:32:43,424 --> 00:32:46,716 ♪ Yes, I also miss our talks ♪ 631 00:32:46,841 --> 00:32:48,382 ♪ Stop doing drugs ♪ 632 00:32:48,507 --> 00:32:51,049 ♪ Just try to take deep breaths and go on walks ♪ 633 00:32:51,174 --> 00:32:53,174 - No. - ♪ I'm sending pictures ♪ 634 00:32:53,299 --> 00:32:55,174 ♪ Of the most amazing trees ♪ 635 00:32:55,299 --> 00:32:56,591 No. 636 00:32:56,716 --> 00:32:58,174 ♪ You'll be obsessed with ♪ 637 00:32:58,299 --> 00:33:01,008 - ♪ All my forest expertise ♪ - What? 638 00:33:01,133 --> 00:33:03,967 ♪ Dude, I'm proud of you ♪ 639 00:33:04,092 --> 00:33:06,967 ♪ Just keep pushing through ♪ 640 00:33:07,092 --> 00:33:08,925 ♪ You're turning around, I can see ♪ 641 00:33:09,050 --> 00:33:11,008 ♪ Just wait and see ♪ 642 00:33:11,133 --> 00:33:16,426 ♪ 'Cause all that it takes is a little reinvention ♪ 643 00:33:16,551 --> 00:33:21,093 ♪ It's easy to change if you give it your attention ♪ 644 00:33:21,218 --> 00:33:23,718 ♪ All you got to do is just believe ♪ 645 00:33:23,843 --> 00:33:26,468 ♪ You can be who you want to be ♪ 646 00:33:26,593 --> 00:33:28,343 ♪ Sincerely, Me ♪ 647 00:33:28,468 --> 00:33:29,551 ♪ My sister's hot ♪ 648 00:33:29,676 --> 00:33:31,260 - What the hell? - My bad. 649 00:33:31,385 --> 00:33:32,885 ♪ Dear Evan Hansen ♪ 650 00:33:33,010 --> 00:33:36,427 ♪ Thanks for every note you send ♪ 651 00:33:36,552 --> 00:33:37,885 ♪ Dear Connor Murphy ♪ 652 00:33:38,010 --> 00:33:41,135 ♪ I'm just glad to be your friend ♪ 653 00:33:41,260 --> 00:33:43,635 ♪ Our friendship goes beyond ♪ 654 00:33:43,760 --> 00:33:46,052 ♪ Your average kind of bond ♪ 655 00:33:46,177 --> 00:33:48,428 ♪ But not because they're gay ♪ 656 00:33:48,553 --> 00:33:49,928 ♪ No, not because... ♪ 657 00:33:50,053 --> 00:33:51,386 ♪ Well, anyway ♪ 658 00:33:51,511 --> 00:33:53,636 ♪ You're getting better every day ♪ 659 00:33:53,761 --> 00:33:55,928 ♪ I'm getting better every day ♪ 660 00:33:56,053 --> 00:33:57,303 - ♪ Keep ♪ - ♪ Getting ♪ 661 00:33:57,428 --> 00:33:58,053 - ♪ Better ♪ - ♪ Every ♪ 662 00:33:58,178 --> 00:33:59,178 ♪ Day ♪ 663 00:33:59,303 --> 00:34:00,928 ♪ Hey, hey, hey, hey ♪ 664 00:34:01,053 --> 00:34:05,887 ♪ 'Cause all that it takes is a little reinvention ♪ 665 00:34:06,012 --> 00:34:10,679 ♪ It's easy to change if you give it your attention ♪ 666 00:34:10,804 --> 00:34:13,262 ♪ All you got to do is just believe ♪ 667 00:34:13,387 --> 00:34:15,887 ♪ You can be who you want to be ♪ 668 00:34:16,012 --> 00:34:17,971 ♪ Sincerely ♪ 669 00:34:18,096 --> 00:34:20,847 ♪ Miss you dearly ♪ 670 00:34:20,972 --> 00:34:23,430 ♪ Sincerely, Me ♪ 671 00:34:24,388 --> 00:34:25,888 ♪ Sincerely, Me ♪ 672 00:34:26,847 --> 00:34:30,222 ♪ Sincerely, Me ♪ 673 00:34:30,347 --> 00:34:31,930 ♪ Sincerely, Me. ♪ 674 00:34:35,848 --> 00:34:38,473 I can't remember the last time that I heard him laugh, 675 00:34:38,598 --> 00:34:40,473 but the two of them, if you read these... 676 00:34:40,598 --> 00:34:42,389 I think if you could take ten minutes 677 00:34:42,514 --> 00:34:44,264 and actually read these emails... 678 00:34:44,389 --> 00:34:46,514 I'm looking at them right now. 679 00:34:48,806 --> 00:34:51,307 Zoe. Look what Evan sent us. 680 00:34:51,432 --> 00:34:53,724 They're emails from your brother. 681 00:34:53,849 --> 00:34:55,015 I printed them out. 682 00:34:55,140 --> 00:34:57,349 Take that, trees. 683 00:34:57,474 --> 00:34:59,099 - How was school? - Terrific. 684 00:34:59,224 --> 00:35:01,057 All of a sudden, people I've never met 685 00:35:01,182 --> 00:35:02,640 want to be my best friend. 686 00:35:02,765 --> 00:35:05,182 I'm the dead kid's sister, didn't you know? 687 00:35:06,182 --> 00:35:07,475 I'm sure they mean well. 688 00:35:07,600 --> 00:35:09,641 I'm sure they don't. 689 00:35:16,266 --> 00:35:18,058 She needs time. 690 00:35:19,100 --> 00:35:21,683 No, Larry, she needs her parents. 691 00:35:21,808 --> 00:35:23,934 Enjoy the game. 692 00:35:31,392 --> 00:35:32,726 Can I come in? 693 00:35:37,267 --> 00:35:39,727 You don't have to stop playing. 694 00:35:40,727 --> 00:35:42,602 How was band? 695 00:35:45,477 --> 00:35:48,518 You know, he-he talks about you playing guitar, 696 00:35:48,643 --> 00:35:52,143 in one of his emails, at the spring concert last year. 697 00:35:52,268 --> 00:35:53,977 Really? 698 00:35:54,102 --> 00:35:55,018 Yeah. 699 00:35:55,144 --> 00:35:58,853 Does he, does he talk about 700 00:35:58,978 --> 00:36:01,186 when he disappeared for two days? 701 00:36:01,311 --> 00:36:04,019 But then he called me and asked me to come pick him up. 702 00:36:04,144 --> 00:36:05,478 He wanted to come home, 703 00:36:05,603 --> 00:36:07,144 but he wasn't ready to talk to you yet, 704 00:36:07,269 --> 00:36:10,186 so I took the bus all the way downtown to get him, 705 00:36:10,311 --> 00:36:12,812 and guess what. 706 00:36:15,812 --> 00:36:18,395 All he really wanted was money. 707 00:36:21,229 --> 00:36:25,270 And I gave it to him because I was 12. 708 00:36:27,938 --> 00:36:29,938 He was struggling. 709 00:36:32,313 --> 00:36:34,605 How about the time he tried to punch through my door, 710 00:36:34,730 --> 00:36:36,230 screaming at the top of his lungs, 711 00:36:36,355 --> 00:36:39,105 saying he was gonna kill me for no reason? 712 00:36:39,230 --> 00:36:41,313 Is that email in there? 713 00:36:43,106 --> 00:36:45,189 We're all grieving in our own way. 714 00:36:52,397 --> 00:36:56,064 You might consider reading these when you're ready. 715 00:36:57,481 --> 00:36:59,690 They might help more than you think. 716 00:37:06,148 --> 00:37:08,190 ♪ ♪ 717 00:37:17,149 --> 00:37:20,191 ♪ Why should I play this game of pretend? ♪ 718 00:37:21,649 --> 00:37:26,191 ♪ Remembering through a secondhand sorrow ♪ 719 00:37:26,316 --> 00:37:30,191 ♪ Such a great son and wonderful friend ♪ 720 00:37:30,316 --> 00:37:34,484 ♪ Don't the tears just pour ♪ 721 00:37:35,567 --> 00:37:38,817 ♪ I could curl up and hide in my room ♪ 722 00:37:40,192 --> 00:37:44,609 ♪ Here in my bed still sobbing tomorrow ♪ 723 00:37:44,734 --> 00:37:48,735 ♪ I could give in to all of the gloom ♪ 724 00:37:48,860 --> 00:37:53,735 ♪ But tell me, tell me what for ♪ 725 00:37:53,860 --> 00:37:56,818 ♪ Why should I have a heavy heart? ♪ 726 00:37:56,943 --> 00:37:59,776 ♪ Why should I start to break in pieces? ♪ 727 00:37:59,901 --> 00:38:03,986 ♪ Why should I go and fall apart for you? ♪ 728 00:38:05,986 --> 00:38:11,319 ♪ Why should I play the grieving girl ♪ 729 00:38:11,444 --> 00:38:14,402 ♪ And lie ♪ 730 00:38:14,527 --> 00:38:19,320 ♪ Saying that I miss you and that my world ♪ 731 00:38:19,445 --> 00:38:24,528 ♪ Has gone dark without your light? ♪ 732 00:38:26,278 --> 00:38:29,320 ♪ I will sing no requiem ♪ 733 00:38:31,153 --> 00:38:32,445 ♪ Tonight ♪ 734 00:38:32,570 --> 00:38:34,612 ♪ ♪ 735 00:38:40,529 --> 00:38:43,613 ♪ We gave you the world, you threw it away ♪ 736 00:38:45,154 --> 00:38:49,488 ♪ Leaving these broken pieces behind you ♪ 737 00:38:49,613 --> 00:38:53,697 ♪ Everything wasted, nothing to say ♪ 738 00:38:53,822 --> 00:38:56,614 ♪ So I can sing no requiem ♪ 739 00:38:56,739 --> 00:39:01,114 ♪ I hear your voice and feel you near ♪ 740 00:39:01,239 --> 00:39:05,947 ♪ Within these words I finally find you ♪ 741 00:39:06,072 --> 00:39:10,448 ♪ And now that I know that you are still here ♪ 742 00:39:10,573 --> 00:39:13,490 ♪ I will sing no requiem tonight ♪ 743 00:39:13,615 --> 00:39:16,490 ♪ Why should I have a heavy heart? ♪ 744 00:39:16,615 --> 00:39:19,406 ♪ Why should I say I'll keep you with me? ♪ 745 00:39:19,531 --> 00:39:25,157 ♪ Why should I go and fall apart for you? ♪ 746 00:39:25,282 --> 00:39:27,949 ♪ Why ♪ 747 00:39:28,074 --> 00:39:30,074 ♪ Should I play the grieving girl ♪ 748 00:39:30,199 --> 00:39:33,449 ♪ And lie ♪ 749 00:39:33,574 --> 00:39:36,157 ♪ Saying that I miss you and that ♪ 750 00:39:36,282 --> 00:39:40,033 LARRY and ZOE: ♪ My world has gone dark without your light? ♪ 751 00:39:40,158 --> 00:39:44,492 ♪ I can see your light ♪ 752 00:39:44,617 --> 00:39:47,992 ♪ I will sing no requiem ♪ 753 00:39:48,117 --> 00:39:50,075 ♪ Tonight ♪ 754 00:39:50,200 --> 00:39:52,617 ♪ 'Cause when the villains fall ♪ 755 00:39:52,742 --> 00:39:55,493 ♪ The kingdoms never weep ♪ 756 00:39:55,618 --> 00:40:00,201 ♪ No one lights a candle to remember ♪ 757 00:40:00,326 --> 00:40:03,451 ♪ No, no one mourns at all ♪ 758 00:40:03,576 --> 00:40:06,618 ♪ When they lay them down to sleep ♪ 759 00:40:06,743 --> 00:40:13,577 ♪ So don't tell me that I didn't have it right ♪ 760 00:40:13,702 --> 00:40:18,327 ♪ Don't tell me that it wasn't black and white ♪ 761 00:40:18,452 --> 00:40:21,035 ♪ After all you put me through ♪ 762 00:40:21,160 --> 00:40:24,327 ♪ Don't say it wasn't true ♪ 763 00:40:24,452 --> 00:40:28,120 ♪ That you were not the monster ♪ 764 00:40:36,703 --> 00:40:38,745 ♪ That I knew ♪ 765 00:40:41,995 --> 00:40:45,121 ♪ 'Cause I ♪ 766 00:40:45,246 --> 00:40:50,537 ♪ Cannot play the grieving girl and lie ♪ 767 00:40:50,662 --> 00:40:55,537 ♪ Saying that I miss you and that my world ♪ 768 00:40:55,662 --> 00:40:57,704 ♪ Has gone dark ♪ 769 00:41:02,080 --> 00:41:05,705 ♪ I will sing no requiem ♪ 770 00:41:06,830 --> 00:41:10,413 ♪ I will sing no requiem ♪ 771 00:41:11,538 --> 00:41:14,538 ♪ I will sing no requiem ♪ 772 00:41:16,706 --> 00:41:18,289 ♪ Tonight ♪ 773 00:41:18,414 --> 00:41:20,706 LARRY and CYNTHIA:♪ ♪ 774 00:41:32,832 --> 00:41:34,457 They did a whole thing about them on NPR yesterday, 775 00:41:34,582 --> 00:41:35,874 these-these essay contests. 776 00:41:35,999 --> 00:41:37,374 And if you win, 777 00:41:37,499 --> 00:41:38,957 it doesn't count against any financial aid. 778 00:41:39,082 --> 00:41:43,874 You know, so $5,000 here or $3,000 there. 779 00:41:43,999 --> 00:41:46,124 It adds up, and we're gonna need 780 00:41:46,249 --> 00:41:48,416 all the help we can get with college. 781 00:41:48,541 --> 00:41:51,875 I mean, unless your stepmother has some trust fund for you 782 00:41:52,000 --> 00:41:54,125 that I don't know about with all those fabulous tips 783 00:41:54,250 --> 00:41:55,625 she made cocktail waitressing. 784 00:41:55,750 --> 00:41:57,625 Right? 785 00:42:04,167 --> 00:42:05,667 I got a... 786 00:42:05,792 --> 00:42:08,501 I got an email from your school yesterday, 787 00:42:08,626 --> 00:42:12,376 um, about that boy that-that killed himself. 788 00:42:12,501 --> 00:42:13,709 Connor Murphy? 789 00:42:13,834 --> 00:42:15,417 Yeah. 790 00:42:15,542 --> 00:42:17,209 I didn't really know him, so... 791 00:42:17,334 --> 00:42:21,877 You know, if you ever want to talk about anything... 792 00:42:22,002 --> 00:42:23,877 You know, I mean, I mean, I know that lately 793 00:42:24,002 --> 00:42:25,377 it feels like I'm-I'm always working. 794 00:42:25,502 --> 00:42:27,210 - It's fine. - But I'm-I'm-I'm here, 795 00:42:27,335 --> 00:42:29,752 and if I... If I'm not here, I'm just a phone call away 796 00:42:29,877 --> 00:42:31,418 or an email or a text, you know, whatever. 797 00:42:31,543 --> 00:42:32,877 I know. 798 00:42:33,877 --> 00:42:36,669 It says "Connor" on your cast. 799 00:42:39,003 --> 00:42:40,503 No, no, yeah. Um... 800 00:42:40,628 --> 00:42:42,711 - You said you didn't know him. - Sorry, I didn't. 801 00:42:42,836 --> 00:42:44,461 Um... 802 00:42:44,586 --> 00:42:47,419 It's in memory, so, like... 803 00:42:47,544 --> 00:42:49,586 Y-You know, kids are, like, um... 804 00:42:49,711 --> 00:42:51,379 they're writing his name on-on... 805 00:42:51,504 --> 00:42:54,337 lockers and stuff like that. 806 00:42:57,712 --> 00:42:59,545 Um... 807 00:43:01,962 --> 00:43:05,087 That's lovely. You know, in memory. 808 00:43:09,130 --> 00:43:10,130 Hey. 809 00:43:10,255 --> 00:43:11,838 Tuesday. What are you doing? 810 00:43:13,213 --> 00:43:15,671 When's the last time we did Taco Tuesday? 811 00:43:15,796 --> 00:43:17,338 That'd be great. 812 00:43:17,463 --> 00:43:19,380 Really? 813 00:43:19,505 --> 00:43:21,005 Yeah. 814 00:43:21,130 --> 00:43:23,006 So the memorial's really just an opportunity 815 00:43:23,131 --> 00:43:24,881 for all of us to come together as a community 816 00:43:25,006 --> 00:43:28,256 and to remember Connor and celebrate who he was. 817 00:43:29,464 --> 00:43:30,797 Would you want to speak or perform? 818 00:43:30,922 --> 00:43:32,672 I didn't really know him. I'm sorry. 819 00:43:32,797 --> 00:43:34,714 - That's okay. - Bye. 820 00:43:47,132 --> 00:43:48,215 Want a wristband? 821 00:43:48,340 --> 00:43:50,715 Yes. Yeah. Okay. 822 00:43:50,840 --> 00:43:52,048 Thank you. 823 00:43:55,049 --> 00:43:56,591 You were friends with him, right? 824 00:43:58,299 --> 00:44:00,174 I saw him sign your cast in the library, 825 00:44:00,299 --> 00:44:02,758 and you started arguing about something. 826 00:44:03,841 --> 00:44:06,466 - Were you friends with him? - We weren't close. 827 00:44:06,591 --> 00:44:09,216 We presented together o-on Huck Finn in the tenth grade, 828 00:44:09,341 --> 00:44:12,134 but he probably didn't tell you that. 829 00:44:12,259 --> 00:44:13,967 Um, no, no, I didn't know. 830 00:44:14,092 --> 00:44:16,175 I always really liked him. 831 00:44:16,300 --> 00:44:17,800 It seemed like he didn't really care 832 00:44:17,925 --> 00:44:20,009 what anyone else thought, and... 833 00:44:20,134 --> 00:44:21,634 I thought that was pretty remarkable. 834 00:44:25,634 --> 00:44:27,885 Well, I'm putting together a memorial for him 835 00:44:28,010 --> 00:44:30,093 at school on Friday. 836 00:44:30,218 --> 00:44:31,510 If you wanted to do something... 837 00:44:31,635 --> 00:44:34,051 Um... 838 00:44:34,176 --> 00:44:36,301 Sorry, I-I... 839 00:44:36,426 --> 00:44:39,885 I-I probably w-would rather not, if that's okay. 840 00:44:40,010 --> 00:44:41,010 Yeah, sure. 841 00:44:41,135 --> 00:44:43,469 If you change your mind... 842 00:44:43,594 --> 00:44:44,802 just text me. 843 00:44:48,761 --> 00:44:50,677 Okay. 844 00:44:57,469 --> 00:44:58,720 Mom. 845 00:45:06,053 --> 00:45:08,095 ♪ ♪ 846 00:45:26,429 --> 00:45:28,471 ♪ ♪ 847 00:45:37,180 --> 00:45:39,264 My mom realized we were out of ice cream, 848 00:45:39,389 --> 00:45:41,222 so they went to go get more. 849 00:45:42,222 --> 00:45:44,139 Did you park in the driveway? 850 00:45:44,264 --> 00:45:46,681 'Cause if you park on the street, they'll ticket you. 851 00:45:46,806 --> 00:45:48,598 The people in this neighborhood are monsters. 852 00:45:48,723 --> 00:45:50,806 Um, no, I didn't, I didn't, um... 853 00:45:50,931 --> 00:45:52,806 I took the bus. My mom needed the car for work. 854 00:45:52,931 --> 00:45:54,890 - What about your dad? - My dad. 855 00:45:55,015 --> 00:45:57,515 Um, he lives in Colorado, so... 856 00:45:57,640 --> 00:45:59,681 He left when I was seven. 857 00:46:02,348 --> 00:46:03,807 That sucks. 858 00:46:05,057 --> 00:46:08,432 Mine died when I was one, so... 859 00:46:08,557 --> 00:46:09,807 I sort of win. 860 00:46:10,932 --> 00:46:12,849 - Sorry. - Thanks. 861 00:46:12,974 --> 00:46:14,516 It's fine. 862 00:46:14,641 --> 00:46:17,557 I-I don't even really remember him, to be honest. 863 00:46:17,682 --> 00:46:20,475 Connor did, though, a little. 864 00:46:20,600 --> 00:46:22,433 That's terrible. 865 00:46:22,558 --> 00:46:23,975 Yeah. 866 00:46:24,100 --> 00:46:27,725 And then Larry showed up, fixed everything. 867 00:46:29,183 --> 00:46:31,142 For a while, at least. 868 00:46:31,267 --> 00:46:32,975 Yeah. 869 00:46:33,100 --> 00:46:35,643 Most people, with Connor, they just would've been like, 870 00:46:35,768 --> 00:46:40,184 "See ya," but he's the only dad we ever really knew, so... 871 00:46:41,851 --> 00:46:43,809 Wow, your mom... I didn't, I didn't realize. 872 00:46:43,934 --> 00:46:45,393 Yeah, well. 873 00:46:45,518 --> 00:46:47,768 She's in total denial now. 874 00:46:47,893 --> 00:46:49,268 So is Larry. 875 00:46:49,393 --> 00:46:50,810 I mean, he didn't even cry at the funeral. 876 00:46:50,935 --> 00:46:52,019 I'm sorry. 877 00:46:53,227 --> 00:46:55,685 Not as sorry as you're gonna be. 878 00:46:57,602 --> 00:46:59,560 Is-is that the... 879 00:46:59,685 --> 00:47:02,935 Gluten-free apple pie? You bet. 880 00:47:03,060 --> 00:47:04,519 It-it looks... 881 00:47:06,185 --> 00:47:07,895 Inedible? 882 00:47:08,020 --> 00:47:09,478 It is. 883 00:47:10,561 --> 00:47:13,436 Just be glad we get to have real ice cream. 884 00:47:13,561 --> 00:47:15,436 My mom was Buddhist last year, 885 00:47:15,561 --> 00:47:17,186 so we couldn't have any animal products. 886 00:47:17,311 --> 00:47:19,770 She was B... um, Buddhist last year but not this year? 887 00:47:19,895 --> 00:47:22,103 Yep. That's sort of what she does. 888 00:47:22,228 --> 00:47:23,937 She gets into a lot of different things. 889 00:47:24,062 --> 00:47:27,187 For a while, it was Pilates. 890 00:47:27,312 --> 00:47:29,062 The Secret. 891 00:47:29,187 --> 00:47:31,187 Buddhism. Et cetera. 892 00:47:31,312 --> 00:47:33,354 It's cool that she's interested in so much different stuff. 893 00:47:33,479 --> 00:47:34,771 Yeah, she's not, though. 894 00:47:34,896 --> 00:47:36,771 That's just what happens when you're rich 895 00:47:36,896 --> 00:47:37,854 and you don't have a job. 896 00:47:37,979 --> 00:47:39,105 You get a little crazy. 897 00:47:39,230 --> 00:47:40,438 Well, my mom always says 898 00:47:40,563 --> 00:47:42,188 it's better to be rich than poor, so... 899 00:47:42,313 --> 00:47:43,772 Yeah, well, your mom's probably never been rich, then. 900 00:47:43,897 --> 00:47:45,480 Yeah, you've probably never been poor. 901 00:47:47,855 --> 00:47:49,105 My God, I can't believe I just said that. 902 00:47:49,230 --> 00:47:50,522 I'm so sorry. 903 00:47:50,647 --> 00:47:52,605 Wow. I didn't realize 904 00:47:52,730 --> 00:47:54,981 you were capable of saying something that wasn't nice. 905 00:47:55,106 --> 00:47:56,773 I'm n... I'm not. I'm really sorry. 906 00:47:56,898 --> 00:47:59,231 You really don't have to keep saying that. 907 00:47:59,356 --> 00:48:01,189 Okay. 908 00:48:01,314 --> 00:48:03,439 You want to say it again. 909 00:48:03,564 --> 00:48:04,856 Yeah, very much so, I do. 910 00:48:11,857 --> 00:48:14,315 Why did he write that... 911 00:48:14,440 --> 00:48:15,690 in his note? 912 00:48:15,815 --> 00:48:17,982 "Because there's Zoe. 913 00:48:18,107 --> 00:48:21,440 And I don't even know her, but if I could just talk to her..." 914 00:48:24,065 --> 00:48:26,190 Honestly, I really don't know. 915 00:48:26,315 --> 00:48:28,816 What does any of that even mean? I mean... 916 00:48:28,941 --> 00:48:31,108 We weren't close at all. 917 00:48:31,233 --> 00:48:33,566 Not since we were kids. 918 00:48:33,691 --> 00:48:35,650 He never noticed anything about me. 919 00:48:35,775 --> 00:48:38,191 That's not true. That's not true. 920 00:48:38,316 --> 00:48:40,441 He-he-he noticed a lot of things about you. 921 00:48:40,566 --> 00:48:42,191 Like what things? 922 00:48:52,317 --> 00:48:53,401 Right. 923 00:48:53,526 --> 00:48:54,401 No, no, no. 924 00:48:54,526 --> 00:48:56,526 That's, um... 925 00:48:56,651 --> 00:48:57,734 Well... 926 00:48:57,859 --> 00:48:59,610 Okay, w... Okay. 927 00:48:59,735 --> 00:49:02,027 Here's something. Um... 928 00:49:02,152 --> 00:49:05,693 Whenever you have, a solo in-in jazz band, 929 00:49:05,818 --> 00:49:07,943 you just... you close your e... 930 00:49:08,068 --> 00:49:09,402 you probably don't even know you're doing this, 931 00:49:09,527 --> 00:49:12,027 but you close your eyes, um, and you get, like... 932 00:49:12,152 --> 00:49:13,735 I don't know, it's like a half smile, 933 00:49:13,860 --> 00:49:15,486 like you just heard the funniest thing in the world, 934 00:49:15,611 --> 00:49:16,903 but it's a secret and you can't tell anyone about it. 935 00:49:17,028 --> 00:49:18,694 But then... 936 00:49:18,819 --> 00:49:20,694 the way that you smile, it's sort of like you are... 937 00:49:20,819 --> 00:49:23,486 you're letting us in on the secret, too. 938 00:49:23,611 --> 00:49:25,278 Um...- ♪ ♪ 939 00:49:25,403 --> 00:49:27,611 ♪ He said ♪ 940 00:49:27,736 --> 00:49:29,486 ♪ There's nothing like your smile ♪ 941 00:49:29,611 --> 00:49:33,445 ♪ Sort of subtle and perfect and real ♪ 942 00:49:34,779 --> 00:49:39,820 ♪ He said you never knew how wonderful ♪ 943 00:49:39,945 --> 00:49:43,737 ♪ That smile could make someone feel ♪ 944 00:49:45,237 --> 00:49:49,280 ♪ And he knew whenever you get bored ♪ 945 00:49:49,405 --> 00:49:53,946 ♪ You scribble stars on the cuffs of your jeans ♪ 946 00:49:55,488 --> 00:49:59,738 ♪ And he noticed that you still fill out the quizzes ♪ 947 00:49:59,863 --> 00:50:02,614 ♪ That they put in those teen magazines ♪ 948 00:50:02,739 --> 00:50:04,572 I-I do that ironically. 949 00:50:04,697 --> 00:50:09,906 ♪ But he kept it all inside his head ♪ 950 00:50:10,031 --> 00:50:14,572 ♪ What he saw he left unsaid ♪ 951 00:50:14,697 --> 00:50:17,322 ♪ And though he wanted to ♪ 952 00:50:17,447 --> 00:50:18,948 ♪ He couldn't talk to you ♪ 953 00:50:19,073 --> 00:50:22,323 ♪ He couldn't find a way ♪ 954 00:50:24,073 --> 00:50:28,698 ♪ But he would always say ♪ 955 00:50:28,823 --> 00:50:32,365 ♪ If I could tell her ♪ 956 00:50:32,490 --> 00:50:34,449 ♪ Tell her everything I see ♪ 957 00:50:34,574 --> 00:50:37,158 ♪ If I could tell her ♪ 958 00:50:37,283 --> 00:50:40,408 ♪ How she's everything to me ♪ 959 00:50:40,533 --> 00:50:45,074 ♪ But we're a million worlds apart ♪ 960 00:50:46,491 --> 00:50:50,659 ♪ And I don't know how I would even start ♪ 961 00:50:50,784 --> 00:50:54,742 ♪ If I could tell her ♪ 962 00:50:55,742 --> 00:51:01,034 ♪ If I could tell her ♪ 963 00:51:02,617 --> 00:51:04,950 Did he say anything else? 964 00:51:05,075 --> 00:51:06,493 About you? 965 00:51:06,618 --> 00:51:08,118 N-Never mind. I don't even care, all right? 966 00:51:08,243 --> 00:51:09,576 No, no, no, no, no. He said so many things. 967 00:51:09,701 --> 00:51:11,076 I'm trying to... I'm just... 968 00:51:11,201 --> 00:51:12,743 I'm trying to remember the best ones, so... 969 00:51:12,868 --> 00:51:14,243 Um... 970 00:51:14,368 --> 00:51:18,160 ♪ He thought it looked pretty cool ♪ 971 00:51:18,285 --> 00:51:21,660 ♪ When you put indigo streaks in your hair ♪ 972 00:51:21,785 --> 00:51:23,869 No fucking way. 973 00:51:23,994 --> 00:51:27,619 ♪ And he wondered how you learned to dance ♪ 974 00:51:27,744 --> 00:51:33,494 ♪ Like all the rest of the world isn't there ♪ 975 00:51:33,619 --> 00:51:38,537 ♪ But he kept it all inside his head ♪ 976 00:51:38,662 --> 00:51:43,245 ♪ What he saw he left unsaid ♪ 977 00:51:43,370 --> 00:51:46,287 ♪ If I could tell her ♪ 978 00:51:46,412 --> 00:51:48,203 ♪ Tell her everything I see ♪ 979 00:51:48,328 --> 00:51:50,870 ♪ If I could tell her ♪ 980 00:51:50,995 --> 00:51:53,370 ♪ How she's everything to me ♪ 981 00:51:53,495 --> 00:51:58,579 ♪ But we're a million worlds apart ♪ 982 00:52:00,538 --> 00:52:04,538 ♪ And I don't know how I would even start ♪ 983 00:52:04,663 --> 00:52:08,746 ♪ If I could tell her ♪ 984 00:52:09,788 --> 00:52:12,039 ♪ If I could tell her ♪ 985 00:52:12,164 --> 00:52:17,122 ♪ But what do you do when there's this great divide? ♪ 986 00:52:17,247 --> 00:52:21,997 ♪ He just seemed so far away ♪ 987 00:52:22,122 --> 00:52:26,248 ♪ And what do you do when the distance is too wide? ♪ 988 00:52:26,373 --> 00:52:27,498 ♪ It's like I don't know anything ♪ 989 00:52:27,623 --> 00:52:29,706 ♪ How do you say ♪ 990 00:52:29,831 --> 00:52:33,790 ♪ I love you? ♪ 991 00:52:34,748 --> 00:52:38,415 ♪ I love you ♪ 992 00:52:39,373 --> 00:52:43,999 ♪ I love you ♪ 993 00:52:44,999 --> 00:52:49,249 ♪ I love you ♪ 994 00:52:52,582 --> 00:52:59,792 ♪ But we're a million worlds apart ♪ 995 00:53:01,750 --> 00:53:05,208 ♪ And I don't know how I would even start ♪ 996 00:53:07,083 --> 00:53:12,917 ♪ If I could tell her ♪ 997 00:53:13,042 --> 00:53:17,543 ♪ If I could. ♪ 998 00:53:22,334 --> 00:53:24,584 Hello. 999 00:53:24,709 --> 00:53:26,501 Sorry. 1000 00:53:26,626 --> 00:53:28,834 You beat us. 1001 00:53:28,959 --> 00:53:30,419 Um, Zoe, can you help serve? 1002 00:53:30,544 --> 00:53:31,960 - Yeah. - Larry, get the plates. 1003 00:53:32,085 --> 00:53:33,502 Can I do anything? 1004 00:53:33,627 --> 00:53:34,960 No, no, no. You're the guest. You sit down. 1005 00:53:35,085 --> 00:53:37,169 We asked if they had any soy ice cream, 1006 00:53:37,294 --> 00:53:41,335 but the guy at the store said there was just no "whey," so... 1007 00:53:41,460 --> 00:53:42,960 When are you gonna give up that joke? 1008 00:53:43,085 --> 00:53:44,710 I think never, actually. 1009 00:53:44,835 --> 00:53:45,919 You don't have to laugh at that. Please don't. 1010 00:53:47,461 --> 00:53:50,003 I'm sorry, but there's no way 1011 00:53:50,128 --> 00:53:52,336 you'd ever be able to tell in a million years 1012 00:53:52,461 --> 00:53:53,670 that this was gluten-free. 1013 00:53:53,795 --> 00:53:55,545 Mom, come on. Look at it. 1014 00:53:55,670 --> 00:53:58,378 A million years is... that's a lot of years. 1015 00:53:58,503 --> 00:54:00,961 Do you see what I have to deal with? 1016 00:54:02,046 --> 00:54:03,171 I'm glad you're here. 1017 00:54:03,296 --> 00:54:05,337 ♪ ♪ 1018 00:54:31,797 --> 00:54:33,755 "The Connor Project." 1019 00:54:33,880 --> 00:54:35,631 So, it's a student group dedicated to 1020 00:54:35,756 --> 00:54:38,756 mental health awareness, outreach and education. 1021 00:54:39,881 --> 00:54:42,131 Great. This is... it's great. 1022 00:54:44,048 --> 00:54:45,548 You know the Murphys, right? 1023 00:54:45,673 --> 00:54:47,839 I was wondering if 1024 00:54:47,964 --> 00:54:49,673 you would reach out to them and get their blessing. 1025 00:54:49,798 --> 00:54:52,715 Well, I don't... I-I don't, I don't, um... 1026 00:54:52,840 --> 00:54:54,424 You want to help the Murphys? 1027 00:54:54,549 --> 00:54:57,590 And all the other people who might need it, 1028 00:54:57,715 --> 00:54:59,007 like people like Connor. 1029 00:54:59,132 --> 00:55:01,007 Or... 1030 00:55:01,132 --> 00:55:02,590 people like us. 1031 00:55:02,715 --> 00:55:04,590 "People like us"? 1032 00:55:06,633 --> 00:55:09,300 Yes, right, because we have so much in common. 1033 00:55:09,425 --> 00:55:10,508 What? 1034 00:55:11,508 --> 00:55:13,258 Well, you're, like, the president 1035 00:55:13,383 --> 00:55:15,133 of a m-million different groups at school, 1036 00:55:15,258 --> 00:55:17,133 and you're, like, part of every single activity. 1037 00:55:17,258 --> 00:55:20,591 And you're, you know, and I'm... 1038 00:55:20,716 --> 00:55:22,509 um, I am not. 1039 00:55:23,717 --> 00:55:25,176 What do you take? 1040 00:55:29,051 --> 00:55:31,301 Okay, I'll go first. 1041 00:55:31,426 --> 00:55:33,426 I'm on Lexapro, ten milligrams. 1042 00:55:38,802 --> 00:55:42,218 Well, I'm-I'm on Zoloft. 1043 00:55:42,343 --> 00:55:44,010 And Wellbutrin. 1044 00:55:46,052 --> 00:55:47,843 And, um... 1045 00:55:47,968 --> 00:55:49,718 Ativan as needed. 1046 00:55:50,677 --> 00:55:53,593 Depression? Anxiety? 1047 00:55:55,011 --> 00:55:56,261 Yeah. 1048 00:55:57,219 --> 00:55:59,303 Yeah, me, too. 1049 00:56:01,344 --> 00:56:03,261 Some days, it's just like, um... 1050 00:56:04,719 --> 00:56:06,386 It's like, um... 1051 00:56:06,511 --> 00:56:07,469 Impossible? 1052 00:56:07,594 --> 00:56:10,012 - Yeah. - Yeah. 1053 00:56:11,679 --> 00:56:14,262 You know, you don't really act like a... 1054 00:56:15,470 --> 00:56:17,179 ...depressed sort of person. 1055 00:56:17,304 --> 00:56:21,179 I'm just good at staying anonymous. 1056 00:56:23,429 --> 00:56:24,679 Same as you. 1057 00:56:27,513 --> 00:56:30,638 There are a lot of people who feel like us. 1058 00:56:30,763 --> 00:56:32,638 ♪ ♪ 1059 00:56:32,763 --> 00:56:35,221 People that you wouldn't think. 1060 00:56:38,888 --> 00:56:40,763 ♪ You ever look at all the people ♪ 1061 00:56:40,888 --> 00:56:44,556 ♪ Who seem to know exactly how to be? ♪ 1062 00:56:47,764 --> 00:56:51,431 ♪ You think, "They don't need piles of prescriptions ♪ 1063 00:56:51,556 --> 00:56:53,139 ♪ To function naturally" ♪ 1064 00:56:55,556 --> 00:56:58,598 ♪ Well, look again and you might catch it ♪ 1065 00:56:58,723 --> 00:57:00,932 ♪ Just stay a minute more ♪ 1066 00:57:02,515 --> 00:57:06,682 ♪ There's this little moment after the sunny smile ♪ 1067 00:57:06,807 --> 00:57:11,140 ♪ As their eyes fall to the floor ♪ 1068 00:57:11,265 --> 00:57:14,391 ♪ The anonymous ones ♪ 1069 00:57:14,516 --> 00:57:19,558 ♪ Who never let you see the ache they carry ♪ 1070 00:57:20,724 --> 00:57:23,974 ♪ All of those anonymous ones ♪ 1071 00:57:24,099 --> 00:57:28,724 ♪ Who never name that quiet pain they bury ♪ 1072 00:57:30,225 --> 00:57:33,017 ♪ So they keep on keeping secrets ♪ 1073 00:57:33,142 --> 00:57:35,767 ♪ That they think they have to hide ♪ 1074 00:57:35,892 --> 00:57:37,767 ♪ But what if everybody's secret ♪ 1075 00:57:37,892 --> 00:57:40,100 ♪ Is they have that secret side? ♪ 1076 00:57:40,225 --> 00:57:44,392 ♪ And to know they're somehow not alone ♪ 1077 00:57:44,517 --> 00:57:47,768 ♪ Well, that's all they're hoping for ♪ 1078 00:57:47,893 --> 00:57:50,268 ♪ What if they ♪ 1079 00:57:50,393 --> 00:57:53,185 ♪ Didn't have to stay ♪ 1080 00:57:54,351 --> 00:57:56,268 ♪ Anonymous anymore? ♪ 1081 00:57:57,226 --> 00:57:59,268 ♪ ♪ 1082 00:58:03,602 --> 00:58:07,227 ♪ Spot the girl who stays in motion ♪ 1083 00:58:07,352 --> 00:58:10,602 ♪ She spins so fast so she won't fall ♪ 1084 00:58:10,727 --> 00:58:13,602 ♪ She's built a wall with her achievements ♪ 1085 00:58:13,727 --> 00:58:15,602 ♪ To keep out the question ♪ 1086 00:58:15,727 --> 00:58:19,978 ♪ Without it, is she worth anything at all? ♪ 1087 00:58:20,103 --> 00:58:23,728 ♪ So nobody can know ♪ 1088 00:58:24,770 --> 00:58:28,895 ♪ Just what the cracks might show ♪ 1089 00:58:29,020 --> 00:58:35,229 ♪ How deep and dark they go ♪ 1090 00:58:35,354 --> 00:58:38,438 ♪ There are those anonymous ones ♪ 1091 00:58:38,563 --> 00:58:42,479 ♪ Stuck inside the perfect frame they're faking ♪ 1092 00:58:44,229 --> 00:58:47,104 ♪ All of us anonymous ones ♪ 1093 00:58:47,229 --> 00:58:52,022 ♪ Who pick themselves apart till they start breaking ♪ 1094 00:58:53,230 --> 00:58:55,605 ♪ And we keep on keeping secrets ♪ 1095 00:58:55,730 --> 00:58:57,814 ♪ That we think we have to hide ♪ 1096 00:58:57,939 --> 00:59:00,314 ♪ But what we really need is somebody ♪ 1097 00:59:00,439 --> 00:59:02,397 ♪ To see that secret side ♪ 1098 00:59:02,522 --> 00:59:05,981 ♪ And to know we're somehow not alone ♪ 1099 00:59:06,106 --> 00:59:08,856 ♪ Is all we're hoping for ♪ 1100 00:59:08,981 --> 00:59:13,148 ♪ And then we wouldn't have to be ♪ 1101 00:59:13,273 --> 00:59:15,148 ♪ Anonymous anymore ♪ 1102 00:59:16,356 --> 00:59:18,856 ♪ ♪ 1103 00:59:21,690 --> 00:59:23,816 ♪ The parts we can't tell, we carry them well ♪ 1104 00:59:23,941 --> 00:59:26,357 ♪ But that doesn't mean they're not heavy ♪ 1105 00:59:26,482 --> 00:59:28,774 ♪ The parts we can't tell, we carry them well ♪ 1106 00:59:28,899 --> 00:59:31,274 ♪ But that doesn't mean they're not heavy ♪ 1107 00:59:31,399 --> 00:59:34,066 ♪ The anonymous one ♪ 1108 00:59:34,191 --> 00:59:36,524 ♪ Noticed by none ♪ 1109 00:59:38,567 --> 00:59:40,400 Go, Bobcats! 1110 00:59:40,525 --> 00:59:44,067 ♪ The parts we can't tell, we carry them well ♪ 1111 00:59:44,192 --> 00:59:47,567 ♪ But that doesn't mean they're not heavy. ♪ 1112 00:59:53,233 --> 00:59:55,276 ♪ ♪ 1113 01:00:07,109 --> 01:00:08,401 "The Connor Project"? 1114 01:00:08,526 --> 01:00:09,985 Yeah, so it's a student group 1115 01:00:10,110 --> 01:00:13,152 dedicated to keeping Connor's memory alive. 1116 01:00:13,277 --> 01:00:15,485 Um, making sure people that need help, 1117 01:00:15,610 --> 01:00:17,152 they have somewhere they can go. 1118 01:00:17,277 --> 01:00:20,569 I didn't realize Connor meant this much to people. 1119 01:00:20,694 --> 01:00:22,694 Well, it's all... I mean, it was all Alana's idea. 1120 01:00:22,819 --> 01:00:23,902 She thought of the whole thing. 1121 01:00:24,027 --> 01:00:25,360 That's the young woman 1122 01:00:25,485 --> 01:00:27,486 who organized the memorial tomorrow. 1123 01:00:27,611 --> 01:00:30,028 Well, she seems like... 1124 01:00:30,153 --> 01:00:31,945 - quite a force. - Yeah. 1125 01:00:32,070 --> 01:00:34,320 Um, anyways, um... 1126 01:00:34,445 --> 01:00:36,153 we just wanted to do something. 1127 01:00:36,278 --> 01:00:39,028 It's-it's r-really cool. 1128 01:00:43,737 --> 01:00:45,612 There's something I want to show you. 1129 01:00:46,612 --> 01:00:47,696 Sure. 1130 01:00:49,946 --> 01:00:51,821 Here we go. 1131 01:00:53,404 --> 01:00:55,529 It's a bit of a mess, I know. 1132 01:00:55,654 --> 01:01:00,447 We still haven't decided what to do with, um, everything. 1133 01:01:02,863 --> 01:01:06,322 Um... he used to write songs. 1134 01:01:06,447 --> 01:01:07,947 Or at least he told us he did. 1135 01:01:08,072 --> 01:01:10,113 He refused to play for us, so who knows? 1136 01:01:11,530 --> 01:01:14,489 He never played any for you? 1137 01:01:15,489 --> 01:01:17,114 No, he di... he didn't. 1138 01:01:17,239 --> 01:01:19,281 He... No. I'm sorry. 1139 01:01:22,364 --> 01:01:23,489 Um... 1140 01:01:34,157 --> 01:01:35,824 Here it is. 1141 01:01:37,490 --> 01:01:39,824 It's a... 1142 01:01:39,949 --> 01:01:42,907 When Connor entered seventh grade, 1143 01:01:43,032 --> 01:01:45,324 all of my girlfriends said, 1144 01:01:45,449 --> 01:01:47,283 "Here it comes, Bar Mitzvah season. 1145 01:01:47,408 --> 01:01:51,241 He's gonna have a different party every Saturday." 1146 01:01:51,366 --> 01:01:53,408 And Larry was so excited to take him shopping. 1147 01:01:53,533 --> 01:01:55,158 He dragged him to Brooks Brothers, 1148 01:01:55,283 --> 01:01:58,408 and they picked out a suit, some shirts and this tie. 1149 01:01:58,533 --> 01:02:02,867 He looked... just like his dad. 1150 01:02:08,242 --> 01:02:10,701 He never got invited to a single party. 1151 01:02:16,159 --> 01:02:19,702 He was such a sweet boy underneath it all. 1152 01:02:21,535 --> 01:02:24,493 Everything just hurt too much. 1153 01:02:27,535 --> 01:02:31,035 I thought that, you could wear this to the memorial. 1154 01:02:31,160 --> 01:02:32,743 For your speech. 1155 01:02:34,786 --> 01:02:37,578 I'm not... I-I... 1156 01:02:37,703 --> 01:02:39,536 I wasn't... I'm-I'm not speaking. 1157 01:02:39,661 --> 01:02:41,244 Why not? 1158 01:02:41,369 --> 01:02:44,786 Well, I... I just don't think, um... 1159 01:02:47,036 --> 01:02:49,078 I mean, most people think that I'm... 1160 01:02:50,162 --> 01:02:51,495 ...not that cool of a person, 1161 01:02:51,620 --> 01:02:54,329 so nobody wants to hear from me. 1162 01:02:57,037 --> 01:02:59,329 Well, if... 1163 01:02:59,454 --> 01:03:02,454 that's what most people think... 1164 01:03:03,620 --> 01:03:06,121 ...it sounds like most people don't know you very well. 1165 01:03:08,246 --> 01:03:09,955 They didn't know Connor either. 1166 01:03:11,246 --> 01:03:13,330 They never bothered. 1167 01:03:17,746 --> 01:03:19,788 You can tell them what they missed. 1168 01:03:27,331 --> 01:03:29,039 You're so handsome. 1169 01:03:29,997 --> 01:03:32,039 ♪ ♪ 1170 01:03:48,040 --> 01:03:50,082 ♪ ♪ 1171 01:04:05,708 --> 01:04:08,749 I'm so glad you changed your mind. 1172 01:04:19,417 --> 01:04:23,917 Today is a day of remembrance and reflection. 1173 01:04:24,042 --> 01:04:26,001 It sucks he isn't here to see this. 1174 01:04:26,126 --> 01:04:28,043 The first person we'll hear from this morning 1175 01:04:28,168 --> 01:04:30,293 is Evan Hansen. 1176 01:04:48,294 --> 01:04:50,336 Good morning, s... 1177 01:04:50,461 --> 01:04:52,794 Holy shit. 1178 01:04:55,127 --> 01:04:56,544 Sorry. 1179 01:04:56,669 --> 01:04:58,337 Sorry. 1180 01:05:00,795 --> 01:05:04,170 Good morning, students and faculty. 1181 01:05:04,295 --> 01:05:07,378 I would like to say a few words to you today... 1182 01:05:09,503 --> 01:05:11,003 ...about my friend... 1183 01:05:12,712 --> 01:05:16,004 ...my best friend, Connor Murphy. 1184 01:05:16,129 --> 01:05:17,213 Holy shit. 1185 01:05:19,046 --> 01:05:20,879 I would like to tell you about the day that Connor and I 1186 01:05:21,004 --> 01:05:24,379 went hiking behind the old Autumn Smile Apple Orchard. 1187 01:05:24,504 --> 01:05:27,046 We found a huge oak tree. 1188 01:05:27,171 --> 01:05:29,213 Connor said that he wondered what the world would look like 1189 01:05:29,338 --> 01:05:33,130 from all the way up there, so we decided to find out. 1190 01:05:36,339 --> 01:05:38,589 We started climbing slowly. 1191 01:05:38,714 --> 01:05:40,547 And then, when I finally looked back, 1192 01:05:40,672 --> 01:05:42,464 we were already 30 feet off the ground. 1193 01:05:42,589 --> 01:05:44,630 Um, Connor just looked at me... 1194 01:05:46,465 --> 01:05:48,840 ...and smiled that way he always did. 1195 01:05:48,965 --> 01:05:51,090 Um, and then... 1196 01:06:00,256 --> 01:06:01,716 Um... 1197 01:06:02,841 --> 01:06:04,257 Sorry. Then I fell. 1198 01:06:04,382 --> 01:06:06,466 I-I lay there on the ground and... 1199 01:06:06,591 --> 01:06:09,882 Good morning, students and f-f... faculty. 1200 01:06:12,174 --> 01:06:14,466 Sorry, that... 1201 01:06:14,591 --> 01:06:15,841 Sorry, that's the wrong... 1202 01:06:58,969 --> 01:07:01,010 ♪ ♪ 1203 01:07:13,803 --> 01:07:18,261 ♪ Have you ever felt like nobody was there? ♪ 1204 01:07:20,636 --> 01:07:26,762 ♪ Have you ever felt forgotten in the middle of nowhere? ♪ 1205 01:07:27,971 --> 01:07:31,762 ♪ Have you ever felt like you could disappear? ♪ 1206 01:07:33,679 --> 01:07:35,304 ♪ Like you could fall ♪ 1207 01:07:36,637 --> 01:07:38,763 ♪ And no one would hear ♪ 1208 01:07:41,638 --> 01:07:44,513 But, see, the thing is, when I looked up, Connor was there. 1209 01:07:46,888 --> 01:07:48,888 That's the gift he gave me. 1210 01:07:49,888 --> 01:07:51,680 To show me th-that I wasn't alone. 1211 01:07:51,805 --> 01:07:53,264 Um, nobody is. 1212 01:07:53,389 --> 01:07:56,348 That's-that's the gift that he gave all of us. 1213 01:07:56,473 --> 01:07:58,514 I just wish... 1214 01:08:00,473 --> 01:08:02,139 I wish we could've given that to him. 1215 01:08:05,139 --> 01:08:06,431 So... 1216 01:08:06,556 --> 01:08:10,765 ♪ Let that lonely feeling wash away ♪ 1217 01:08:12,432 --> 01:08:18,140 ♪ Maybe there's a reason to believe you'll be okay ♪ 1218 01:08:18,265 --> 01:08:23,557 ♪ 'Cause when you don't feel strong enough to stand ♪ 1219 01:08:23,682 --> 01:08:29,308 ♪ You can reach, reach out your hand ♪ 1220 01:08:30,683 --> 01:08:36,141 ♪ And, someone will come running ♪ 1221 01:08:36,266 --> 01:08:41,892 ♪ And I know they'll take you home ♪ 1222 01:08:44,684 --> 01:08:47,809 ♪ Even when the dark comes crashing through ♪ 1223 01:08:47,934 --> 01:08:51,101 ♪ When you need a friend to carry you ♪ 1224 01:08:51,226 --> 01:08:55,101 ♪ And when you're broken on the ground ♪ 1225 01:08:55,226 --> 01:08:57,768 ♪ You will be found ♪ 1226 01:08:57,893 --> 01:09:00,435 ♪ So let the sun come streaming in ♪ 1227 01:09:00,560 --> 01:09:03,727 ♪ 'Cause you'll reach up and you'll rise again ♪ 1228 01:09:03,852 --> 01:09:06,518 ♪ Lift your head and look around ♪ 1229 01:09:07,768 --> 01:09:12,435 ♪ You will be found ♪ 1230 01:09:13,394 --> 01:09:17,811 ♪ You will be found ♪ 1231 01:09:18,769 --> 01:09:23,228 ♪ You will be found ♪ 1232 01:09:24,186 --> 01:09:28,853 ♪ You will be found ♪ 1233 01:09:29,812 --> 01:09:31,937 ♪ You will be found ♪ 1234 01:09:32,062 --> 01:09:33,604 ♪ ♪ 1235 01:09:42,895 --> 01:09:44,354 Have you seen this? 1236 01:09:44,479 --> 01:09:45,938 People started sharing it, 1237 01:09:46,063 --> 01:09:47,730 and now, I mean, it's everywhere. 1238 01:09:47,855 --> 01:09:49,480 This morning, it only had, like, 30 views. 1239 01:09:49,605 --> 01:09:51,105 Well, how many does it have now? 1240 01:09:51,230 --> 01:09:53,355 723. 1241 01:09:53,480 --> 01:09:56,438 2,326 views. 1242 01:09:56,563 --> 01:09:59,021 14,359. 1243 01:09:59,146 --> 01:10:01,981 I don't understand what happened. 1244 01:10:02,106 --> 01:10:03,564 You did. 1245 01:10:05,647 --> 01:10:08,939 ♪ There's a place where we don't have to feel unknown ♪ 1246 01:10:09,064 --> 01:10:10,106 My God. 1247 01:10:10,231 --> 01:10:11,606 Everybody needs to see this. 1248 01:10:11,731 --> 01:10:13,606 ♪ And every time that you call out ♪ 1249 01:10:13,731 --> 01:10:15,647 ♪ You're a little less alone ♪ 1250 01:10:15,772 --> 01:10:17,523 - I can't stop watching this video. - ...17 years old. 1251 01:10:17,648 --> 01:10:19,773 ♪ If you only say the word ♪ 1252 01:10:19,898 --> 01:10:21,648 - Take five minutes. - It'll make your day. 1253 01:10:21,773 --> 01:10:27,232 ♪ From across the silence, your voice is heard ♪ 1254 01:10:28,690 --> 01:10:30,107 Share it with the people you love. 1255 01:10:30,232 --> 01:10:32,190 - Repost. - The world needs to hear this. 1256 01:10:32,315 --> 01:10:33,816 Beautiful tribute. 1257 01:10:33,941 --> 01:10:35,941 I know someone who really needed to hear this today. 1258 01:10:36,066 --> 01:10:38,608 So thank you, Evan Hansen, for doing what you're doing. 1259 01:10:38,733 --> 01:10:41,608 I never met you, Connor, but coming on here, 1260 01:10:41,733 --> 01:10:42,983 reading everyone's posts... 1261 01:10:43,108 --> 01:10:44,774 Evan is exactly right. We are not alone. 1262 01:10:44,899 --> 01:10:46,316 We are not alone. 1263 01:10:46,441 --> 01:10:47,524 None of us. 1264 01:10:47,649 --> 01:10:48,691 None of us are alone. 1265 01:10:48,816 --> 01:10:50,275 - Like. - Forward. - Especially now, 1266 01:10:50,400 --> 01:10:51,775 with everything you hear on the news. 1267 01:10:51,900 --> 01:10:53,234 - Like. - Share. - Repost. - Forward. 1268 01:10:53,359 --> 01:10:54,734 Thank you, Evan Hansen, 1269 01:10:54,859 --> 01:10:56,109 for giving us a space to remember Connor. 1270 01:10:56,234 --> 01:10:57,942 - Thanks to Evan. - To be together. 1271 01:10:58,067 --> 01:10:58,900 - Thanks for helping my mom. - Thank you for helping my mom. 1272 01:10:59,025 --> 01:11:00,400 Thank you, Evan Hansen. 1273 01:11:00,525 --> 01:11:01,484 - ♪ To take you home... ♪ - Vermont. - Tampa. 1274 01:11:01,609 --> 01:11:02,942 - Sacramento. - Michigan. 1275 01:11:03,067 --> 01:11:03,900 - ♪ Someone will come... ♪ - Just reach out. 1276 01:11:04,025 --> 01:11:05,360 Thank you, Evan. 1277 01:11:05,485 --> 01:11:06,526 This is about community and friendship. 1278 01:11:06,651 --> 01:11:07,485 - Thank you, Evan. - Thank you. 1279 01:11:08,651 --> 01:11:10,151 Thank you, Evan Hansen. 1280 01:11:10,276 --> 01:11:13,401 ♪ Even when the dark comes crashing through ♪ 1281 01:11:13,526 --> 01:11:16,610 ♪ When you need a friend to carry you ♪ 1282 01:11:16,735 --> 01:11:19,651 ♪ When you're broken on the ground ♪ 1283 01:11:19,776 --> 01:11:21,944 ♪ You will be found ♪ 1284 01:11:22,069 --> 01:11:24,319 ♪ So let the sun come streaming in ♪ 1285 01:11:24,444 --> 01:11:27,569 ♪ 'Cause you'll reach up and you'll rise again ♪ 1286 01:11:27,694 --> 01:11:30,652 ♪ If you only look around ♪ 1287 01:11:30,777 --> 01:11:36,069 ♪ You will be found, you will be found ♪ 1288 01:11:36,194 --> 01:11:37,737 ♪ You will be found ♪ 1289 01:11:37,862 --> 01:11:42,987 ♪ You will be found, you will be found ♪ 1290 01:11:43,112 --> 01:11:47,862 ♪ Out of the shadows, the morning is breaking ♪ 1291 01:11:47,987 --> 01:11:51,195 ♪ And all is new ♪ 1292 01:11:51,320 --> 01:11:54,071 ♪ All is new ♪ 1293 01:11:54,196 --> 01:11:57,029 ♪ It's filling up the empty ♪ 1294 01:11:57,154 --> 01:11:59,654 ♪ And suddenly I see ♪ 1295 01:11:59,779 --> 01:12:01,696 ♪ That all is new ♪ 1296 01:12:01,821 --> 01:12:04,904 ♪ All is new ♪ 1297 01:12:05,029 --> 01:12:09,697 ♪ You are not alone, you are not alone ♪ 1298 01:12:09,822 --> 01:12:12,947 ♪ You are not alone ♪ 1299 01:12:13,072 --> 01:12:17,364 ♪ You are not alone, you are not alone ♪ 1300 01:12:17,489 --> 01:12:19,322 - ♪ You are not alone ♪ - ♪ You are not alone ♪ 1301 01:12:19,447 --> 01:12:20,655 ♪ You are not alone ♪ 1302 01:12:20,780 --> 01:12:22,530 ♪ You are not ♪ 1303 01:12:22,655 --> 01:12:26,906 - ♪ You are not alone ♪ - ♪ You are not alone ♪ 1304 01:12:27,031 --> 01:12:29,656 ♪ Even when the dark comes crashing through ♪ 1305 01:12:29,781 --> 01:12:32,781 ♪ When you need someone to carry you ♪ 1306 01:12:32,906 --> 01:12:35,656 ♪ When you're broken on the ground ♪ 1307 01:12:35,781 --> 01:12:38,031 ♪ You will be found ♪ 1308 01:12:38,156 --> 01:12:40,490 ♪ So let the sun come streaming in ♪ 1309 01:12:40,615 --> 01:12:43,574 ♪ 'Cause you'll reach up and you'll rise again ♪ 1310 01:12:43,699 --> 01:12:46,824 ♪ If you only look around ♪ 1311 01:12:46,949 --> 01:12:49,032 ♪ You will be found ♪ 1312 01:12:49,157 --> 01:12:52,782 ♪ Even when the dark comes crashing through ♪ 1313 01:12:52,907 --> 01:12:54,407 ♪ You will be found ♪ 1314 01:12:54,532 --> 01:12:57,325 ♪ When you need someone to carry you ♪ 1315 01:12:57,450 --> 01:13:02,075 ♪ You will be found ♪ 1316 01:13:03,033 --> 01:13:06,908 ♪ You will be found. ♪ 1317 01:13:10,867 --> 01:13:12,075 ♪ ♪ 1318 01:13:16,243 --> 01:13:17,576 Hey. 1319 01:13:17,701 --> 01:13:19,368 What's wrong? 1320 01:13:21,743 --> 01:13:24,201 Everything you said in your speech. 1321 01:13:24,326 --> 01:13:26,909 Everything you've done. 1322 01:13:27,034 --> 01:13:29,619 You don't know how much... 1323 01:13:29,744 --> 01:13:32,494 you've given all of us. 1324 01:13:32,619 --> 01:13:33,785 My family. 1325 01:13:33,910 --> 01:13:35,577 Me. 1326 01:13:35,702 --> 01:13:37,244 No. 1327 01:13:37,369 --> 01:13:38,994 No, I... 1328 01:13:39,119 --> 01:13:41,910 You've given me my brother back. 1329 01:13:53,036 --> 01:13:55,078 ♪ ♪ 1330 01:14:14,954 --> 01:14:16,997 ♪ ♪ 1331 01:14:30,830 --> 01:14:32,788 Welcome to the first official meeting 1332 01:14:32,914 --> 01:14:34,539 of The Connor Project. 1333 01:14:38,873 --> 01:14:40,289 Right? 1334 01:14:41,206 --> 01:14:44,956 Um, now, as you all know from Evan's speech, 1335 01:14:45,081 --> 01:14:47,623 Connor's favorite place in the entire world 1336 01:14:47,748 --> 01:14:49,624 was the Autumn Smile Apple Orchard. 1337 01:14:49,749 --> 01:14:52,457 I am beyond excited to announce that, 1338 01:14:52,582 --> 01:14:54,915 in addition to our support groups, we will be launching 1339 01:14:55,040 --> 01:14:59,999 a Kickstarter campaign to raise $100,000 to reopen and redesign 1340 01:15:00,124 --> 01:15:03,082 Autumn Smile as the Connor Murphy Memorial Orchard. 1341 01:15:05,916 --> 01:15:09,500 Um, so to explain what we're going to be asking of you, 1342 01:15:09,625 --> 01:15:11,000 I'm gonna turn things over 1343 01:15:11,125 --> 01:15:14,166 to our director of global communications. 1344 01:15:14,291 --> 01:15:15,791 Thanks, Alana. 1345 01:15:15,916 --> 01:15:17,250 So great. 1346 01:15:17,375 --> 01:15:19,666 Our new website is now live. 1347 01:15:19,791 --> 01:15:21,584 If you have not yet read 1348 01:15:21,709 --> 01:15:24,709 the emails between Evan and Connor... 1349 01:15:24,834 --> 01:15:27,501 you're gonna want to grab some tissues. 1350 01:15:31,251 --> 01:15:35,501 I swear, I've got a Cal Ripken here somewhere. 1351 01:15:35,626 --> 01:15:37,752 Look at that? 1352 01:15:38,752 --> 01:15:40,793 The entire '96 team. 1353 01:15:40,918 --> 01:15:42,293 There's three Hall of Famers on there. 1354 01:15:42,418 --> 01:15:43,877 - Wow. - You get the right people, 1355 01:15:44,002 --> 01:15:46,377 baseball fans, you could raise 1356 01:15:46,502 --> 01:15:48,627 at least a few hundred bucks for the orchard, 1357 01:15:48,752 --> 01:15:50,168 maybe a couple thousand. 1358 01:15:50,293 --> 01:15:52,127 Yeah, but... 1359 01:15:52,252 --> 01:15:55,753 I mean, you should, you should probably keep all this stuff. 1360 01:15:55,878 --> 01:15:58,669 It's just gonna sit here gathering dust. 1361 01:16:01,794 --> 01:16:03,794 Stiff as a board, isn't it? 1362 01:16:03,919 --> 01:16:05,711 Yeah. 1363 01:16:05,836 --> 01:16:06,919 Well, it's never been used. 1364 01:16:07,044 --> 01:16:08,419 Connor... 1365 01:16:09,629 --> 01:16:11,629 ...he loved baseball. 1366 01:16:11,754 --> 01:16:14,045 When he was little. 1367 01:16:14,170 --> 01:16:16,212 First time I met him... 1368 01:16:16,337 --> 01:16:18,212 Cynthia wasn't sure how the kids would react, all right? 1369 01:16:18,337 --> 01:16:19,545 She was terrified. 1370 01:16:19,670 --> 01:16:22,462 And I was terrified. 1371 01:16:22,587 --> 01:16:24,462 I mean... 1372 01:16:24,587 --> 01:16:26,255 five minutes in... 1373 01:16:28,213 --> 01:16:32,005 Connor's, like, pulling my arm... 1374 01:16:33,171 --> 01:16:35,463 "Come on, let's go play catch." 1375 01:16:37,005 --> 01:16:38,671 He... 1376 01:16:42,589 --> 01:16:45,089 I bought that... I don't know... two years ago. 1377 01:16:45,214 --> 01:16:48,339 I thought, you know, maybe we could... 1378 01:16:55,089 --> 01:16:56,297 So stupid. 1379 01:16:56,422 --> 01:16:59,965 He was really lucky to have a step... 1380 01:17:02,298 --> 01:17:04,173 ...to have a dad like you. 1381 01:17:06,090 --> 01:17:09,632 Your dad must feel pretty lucky to... 1382 01:17:10,923 --> 01:17:12,632 ...have a son like you. 1383 01:17:15,549 --> 01:17:17,383 Yeah, he does. 1384 01:17:19,883 --> 01:17:21,924 ♪ ♪ 1385 01:17:34,592 --> 01:17:36,800 ♪ ♪ 1386 01:17:53,218 --> 01:17:56,260 You know, I-I saw the strangest thing 1387 01:17:56,385 --> 01:17:58,593 - on-on Facebook yesterday. - Really? 1388 01:17:58,718 --> 01:18:03,344 Um, somebody had a video of you doing a speech. 1389 01:18:04,344 --> 01:18:08,802 About that boy, Connor Murphy. 1390 01:18:08,927 --> 01:18:12,469 How the two of you climbed a tree together 1391 01:18:12,594 --> 01:18:14,302 at an orchard. 1392 01:18:16,261 --> 01:18:18,678 You told me that you didn't know him, but in the speech, 1393 01:18:18,803 --> 01:18:20,512 you said that he was your best friend. 1394 01:18:20,637 --> 01:18:21,762 Right, well... 1395 01:18:23,012 --> 01:18:24,470 ...'cause that wasn't true. 1396 01:18:24,595 --> 01:18:25,845 Um... 1397 01:18:28,845 --> 01:18:30,345 When I said I didn't know him. 1398 01:18:32,137 --> 01:18:35,721 I thought that you broke your arm at-at work. 1399 01:18:35,846 --> 01:18:38,054 Okay, well, who do you think drove me to urgent care 1400 01:18:38,179 --> 01:18:39,721 and-and waited there with me? 1401 01:18:39,846 --> 01:18:41,596 You were at work. You remember? 1402 01:18:41,721 --> 01:18:42,971 I couldn't even... You didn't, you didn't answer your phone. 1403 01:18:43,096 --> 01:18:44,679 You-you told me that your boss took you. 1404 01:18:44,804 --> 01:18:46,304 Well, so I lied, obviously. 1405 01:18:46,429 --> 01:18:48,930 So when were you planning on telling me any of this? 1406 01:18:49,055 --> 01:18:50,597 When would I tell you exactly? When are you even here? 1407 01:18:50,722 --> 01:18:53,055 - I'm here now. - Okay. 1408 01:18:54,389 --> 01:18:57,389 You know, I-I-I talked to Dr. Sherman, and he told me 1409 01:18:57,514 --> 01:18:58,889 - you've been skipping appointments. - I missed one. 1410 01:18:59,014 --> 01:19:00,972 You know those aren't free. 1411 01:19:06,473 --> 01:19:08,640 Sorry. I'm sorry. 1412 01:19:09,640 --> 01:19:11,931 I'm... 1413 01:19:13,640 --> 01:19:16,348 I'm so happy you had a friend, sweetheart. 1414 01:19:17,848 --> 01:19:19,515 I'm sorry he's gone. 1415 01:19:19,640 --> 01:19:21,516 I just wish I'd known. 1416 01:19:25,516 --> 01:19:27,557 That speech you gave, it... 1417 01:19:30,141 --> 01:19:32,391 I don't even know what to say. I'm... 1418 01:19:33,807 --> 01:19:35,641 I'm proud of you. 1419 01:19:38,558 --> 01:19:39,892 Thanks. 1420 01:19:55,393 --> 01:19:56,434 Hi. 1421 01:19:58,268 --> 01:20:00,143 This is a cool surprise. 1422 01:20:02,143 --> 01:20:03,934 Um... 1423 01:20:04,059 --> 01:20:06,059 Can I get you anything or...? 1424 01:20:06,184 --> 01:20:07,851 Just water. 1425 01:20:08,852 --> 01:20:11,310 - Just water? You're sure? - Yeah. That's perfect. 1426 01:20:12,310 --> 01:20:13,394 Coming up. 1427 01:20:17,977 --> 01:20:19,060 Where's your mom? 1428 01:20:19,185 --> 01:20:21,935 She works late on Fridays. 1429 01:20:22,060 --> 01:20:24,227 I wanted to meet her. 1430 01:20:24,352 --> 01:20:26,811 Yeah, that would've been great. 1431 01:20:30,478 --> 01:20:31,686 What's this? 1432 01:20:31,811 --> 01:20:33,561 It's just my mom is obsessed 1433 01:20:33,686 --> 01:20:35,728 with these college scholarship essay contests. 1434 01:20:35,853 --> 01:20:37,936 I mean, I'd-I'd-I'd have to win probably, like, all of them 1435 01:20:38,061 --> 01:20:41,812 to actually pay for college, so... 1436 01:20:43,479 --> 01:20:45,479 Your parents, they-they can't...? 1437 01:20:45,604 --> 01:20:47,562 Not really. 1438 01:20:49,062 --> 01:20:50,312 I'm sorry. 1439 01:20:59,147 --> 01:21:01,272 Is your room upstairs? 1440 01:21:05,855 --> 01:21:07,563 Yeah. It's, um... 1441 01:21:10,147 --> 01:21:11,397 Yeah. 1442 01:21:18,981 --> 01:21:21,481 Yeah, so it's, like, a pretty standard sort of room, I guess. 1443 01:21:21,606 --> 01:21:22,898 So... 1444 01:21:23,023 --> 01:21:24,856 Hey. Um... 1445 01:21:24,981 --> 01:21:26,689 actually, I meant to tell you this before. 1446 01:21:26,814 --> 01:21:29,315 Um, so Alana and I had a really good... 1447 01:21:30,732 --> 01:21:33,315 Um, we had a really good meeting this morning, 1448 01:21:33,440 --> 01:21:35,440 and I think that... y-you probably noticed, 1449 01:21:35,565 --> 01:21:38,274 um, that, you know, a lot of people were giving, 1450 01:21:38,399 --> 01:21:41,024 during that first week, which is definitely great, 1451 01:21:41,149 --> 01:21:43,482 but, um, it sort of slowed down a bit, obviously. 1452 01:21:43,607 --> 01:21:44,858 But Alana and I are really confident 1453 01:21:44,983 --> 01:21:46,275 that it's gonna pick right back up. 1454 01:21:46,400 --> 01:21:48,650 I think it's just a m... a matter of... 1455 01:21:49,650 --> 01:21:51,983 Can I talk to you about something? 1456 01:21:55,608 --> 01:21:57,066 Yes. 1457 01:22:03,234 --> 01:22:05,609 The Connor Project is... awesome. 1458 01:22:05,734 --> 01:22:08,484 It's-it's really, really cool. 1459 01:22:11,026 --> 01:22:13,359 - Thank you. - It's just that, my whole life, 1460 01:22:13,484 --> 01:22:14,984 everything has been about him. 1461 01:22:15,109 --> 01:22:18,610 And maybe the two of us... 1462 01:22:20,068 --> 01:22:22,568 ...maybe we don't have to talk about my brother all the time. 1463 01:22:22,693 --> 01:22:24,902 Maybe we can... 1464 01:22:25,027 --> 01:22:28,402 talk about other things. 1465 01:22:36,528 --> 01:22:37,903 I like you. 1466 01:22:40,528 --> 01:22:44,153 And it's not because you were friends with my brother 1467 01:22:44,278 --> 01:22:46,153 or because of The Connor Project. 1468 01:22:46,278 --> 01:22:48,862 ♪ ♪ 1469 01:22:48,987 --> 01:22:51,570 I like you 'cause... 1470 01:22:51,695 --> 01:22:53,570 you. 1471 01:22:53,695 --> 01:22:57,945 ♪ I don't need you to sell me on reasons to want you ♪ 1472 01:23:00,529 --> 01:23:04,613 ♪ I don't need you to search for the proof that I should ♪ 1473 01:23:07,363 --> 01:23:10,946 ♪ You don't have to convince me ♪ 1474 01:23:11,071 --> 01:23:14,863 ♪ You don't have to be scared you're not enough ♪ 1475 01:23:14,988 --> 01:23:17,863 ♪ 'Cause what we've got going ♪ 1476 01:23:17,988 --> 01:23:20,196 ♪ Is good ♪ 1477 01:23:21,197 --> 01:23:25,531 ♪ I don't need more reminders of all that's been broken ♪ 1478 01:23:27,947 --> 01:23:32,697 ♪ I don't need you to fix what I'd rather forget ♪ 1479 01:23:34,406 --> 01:23:38,115 ♪ Clear the slate and start over ♪ 1480 01:23:38,240 --> 01:23:42,698 ♪ Try to quiet the noises in your head ♪ 1481 01:23:42,823 --> 01:23:45,907 ♪ We can't compete with all that ♪ 1482 01:23:48,490 --> 01:23:50,573 ♪ So what if it's us? ♪ 1483 01:23:50,698 --> 01:23:55,408 ♪ What if it's us and only us ♪ 1484 01:23:55,533 --> 01:24:00,449 ♪ And what came before won't count anymore or matter? ♪ 1485 01:24:00,574 --> 01:24:02,699 ♪ Can we try that? ♪ 1486 01:24:02,824 --> 01:24:06,074 ♪ What if it's you, what if it's me ♪ 1487 01:24:06,199 --> 01:24:10,034 ♪ And what if that's all that we need it to be ♪ 1488 01:24:10,159 --> 01:24:13,492 ♪ And the rest of the world falls away? ♪ 1489 01:24:14,659 --> 01:24:15,825 ♪ What do you say? ♪ 1490 01:24:15,950 --> 01:24:17,617 ♪ I never thought there'd be ♪ 1491 01:24:17,742 --> 01:24:20,534 ♪ Someone like you who would want me ♪ 1492 01:24:20,659 --> 01:24:21,867 Well... 1493 01:24:21,992 --> 01:24:25,118 ♪ So I give you 10,000 reasons ♪ 1494 01:24:25,243 --> 01:24:27,285 ♪ To not let me go ♪ 1495 01:24:29,660 --> 01:24:33,701 ♪ But if you really see me ♪ 1496 01:24:33,826 --> 01:24:38,035 ♪ If you like me for me and nothing else ♪ 1497 01:24:38,160 --> 01:24:39,868 ♪ Well, that's all that I've wanted ♪ 1498 01:24:39,993 --> 01:24:44,119 ♪ For longer than you could possibly know ♪ 1499 01:24:44,244 --> 01:24:46,119 ♪ So it can be us ♪ 1500 01:24:46,244 --> 01:24:51,119 ♪ It can be us and only us ♪ 1501 01:24:51,244 --> 01:24:56,245 ♪ And what came before won't count anymore or matter ♪ 1502 01:24:56,370 --> 01:24:58,203 ♪ We can try that ♪ 1503 01:24:58,328 --> 01:25:01,953 ♪ It's not so impossible ♪ 1504 01:25:02,078 --> 01:25:04,787 ♪ Nobody else but the two of us here ♪ 1505 01:25:04,912 --> 01:25:08,745 ♪ 'Cause you're saying it's possible ♪ 1506 01:25:08,870 --> 01:25:12,120 ♪ We can just watch the whole world disappear ♪ 1507 01:25:12,246 --> 01:25:17,496 ♪ Till you're the only one ♪ 1508 01:25:17,621 --> 01:25:24,288 ♪ I still know how to see ♪ 1509 01:25:27,704 --> 01:25:29,330 ♪ It's just you and me ♪ 1510 01:25:29,455 --> 01:25:31,747 ♪ It'll be us ♪ 1511 01:25:31,872 --> 01:25:36,747 ♪ It'll be us and only us ♪ 1512 01:25:36,872 --> 01:25:41,455 ♪ And what came before won't count anymore ♪ 1513 01:25:41,580 --> 01:25:44,080 ♪ We can try that ♪ 1514 01:25:44,206 --> 01:25:47,706 ♪ You and me ♪ 1515 01:25:47,831 --> 01:25:50,998 ♪ That's all that we need it to be ♪ 1516 01:25:51,123 --> 01:25:54,540 ♪ And the rest of the world falls away ♪ 1517 01:25:54,665 --> 01:26:00,666 ♪ And the rest of the world falls away ♪ 1518 01:26:02,666 --> 01:26:05,332 ♪ The world falls away ♪ 1519 01:26:06,499 --> 01:26:09,499 ♪ The world falls away ♪ 1520 01:26:15,541 --> 01:26:17,583 ♪ The world falls away ♪ 1521 01:26:18,917 --> 01:26:21,667 ♪ The world falls away ♪ 1522 01:26:22,667 --> 01:26:25,417 ♪ The world falls away ♪ 1523 01:26:26,542 --> 01:26:29,458 ♪ The world falls away ♪ 1524 01:26:37,168 --> 01:26:38,584 ♪ The world falls away ♪ 1525 01:26:38,709 --> 01:26:40,709 All right, let's just start without him. 1526 01:26:40,834 --> 01:26:44,418 ♪ The world falls away ♪ 1527 01:26:44,543 --> 01:26:50,419 ♪ And it's only us. ♪ 1528 01:27:06,628 --> 01:27:07,503 No. 1529 01:27:07,628 --> 01:27:08,878 I'm famous for doing that. 1530 01:27:09,003 --> 01:27:10,003 I've been told that many times. 1531 01:27:11,128 --> 01:27:12,003 Hi, honey. 1532 01:27:12,128 --> 01:27:13,461 Come join us. 1533 01:27:13,586 --> 01:27:15,878 - I just put dinner in the oven. - Hi. 1534 01:27:18,295 --> 01:27:19,586 She made me swear to keep it a surprise. 1535 01:27:19,711 --> 01:27:20,962 I'm surprised. 1536 01:27:21,087 --> 01:27:22,254 Hi. 1537 01:27:22,379 --> 01:27:23,879 It's so nice to finally meet you. 1538 01:27:24,004 --> 01:27:25,462 - Hi. - Hi. 1539 01:27:25,587 --> 01:27:27,129 Yeah, great. 1540 01:27:27,254 --> 01:27:29,129 It's great. 1541 01:27:29,254 --> 01:27:30,796 Come on, Evan. Sit. 1542 01:27:32,754 --> 01:27:34,712 I-I thought that you were working tonight. 1543 01:27:34,837 --> 01:27:36,922 Cynthia called and invited me for dinner, 1544 01:27:37,047 --> 01:27:38,797 so, you know, I'm playing hooky. 1545 01:27:38,922 --> 01:27:41,047 We were just discussing how sneaky you and Connor were. 1546 01:27:41,172 --> 01:27:43,672 I had no idea that he and Connor were even friends. 1547 01:27:43,797 --> 01:27:45,172 We were the same. 1548 01:27:45,297 --> 01:27:46,713 You know, boys love their secrets. 1549 01:27:46,838 --> 01:27:48,713 Something smells good. What's for dinner? 1550 01:27:48,838 --> 01:27:50,547 It's chicken Milanese, your favorite. 1551 01:27:50,672 --> 01:27:52,506 Actually his favorite is 1552 01:27:52,631 --> 01:27:53,881 my great-grandmother's black beans. 1553 01:27:54,006 --> 01:27:55,089 Really? 1554 01:27:55,214 --> 01:27:56,423 Well, he's the only one 1555 01:27:56,548 --> 01:27:57,714 that appreciates my cooking, so... 1556 01:27:57,839 --> 01:27:59,256 - That's not true. - Another drop? 1557 01:27:59,381 --> 01:28:01,381 No, no. I'm-I'm fine. Thank you. 1558 01:28:01,506 --> 01:28:03,839 Um, fascinating story about the wine. 1559 01:28:03,964 --> 01:28:06,548 It's from a vineyard in Napa, 1560 01:28:06,673 --> 01:28:09,632 and the entire growing process from start to finish, 1561 01:28:09,757 --> 01:28:11,549 100% sustainable. 1562 01:28:11,674 --> 01:28:13,007 Is that right? 1563 01:28:13,132 --> 01:28:15,465 Not to mention, it tastes good, too. 1564 01:28:15,590 --> 01:28:16,715 It does. 1565 01:28:16,840 --> 01:28:19,090 You know, I-I didn't realize... 1566 01:28:19,215 --> 01:28:20,465 Cynthia and Larry were telling me 1567 01:28:20,590 --> 01:28:22,132 that you spend so much time here. 1568 01:28:22,257 --> 01:28:23,924 Yeah, I... you've been working a lot, so... 1569 01:28:24,050 --> 01:28:26,008 Why did I think you were at Jared's? 1570 01:28:26,133 --> 01:28:27,508 I-I don't know. 1571 01:28:27,633 --> 01:28:28,966 Evan was showing me 1572 01:28:29,091 --> 01:28:32,216 all of those scholarship contests that you found. 1573 01:28:32,341 --> 01:28:33,383 It's really impressive. 1574 01:28:33,508 --> 01:28:36,175 Well, Evan is a great writer. 1575 01:28:36,300 --> 01:28:37,800 Well, that does not 1576 01:28:37,925 --> 01:28:39,341 surprise me at all. 1577 01:28:40,301 --> 01:28:42,717 His English teacher last year told me that he wrote 1578 01:28:42,842 --> 01:28:45,176 one of the best papers she'd ever read on Sulu. 1579 01:28:45,301 --> 01:28:46,259 Is that right? 1580 01:28:46,384 --> 01:28:48,676 - It's Sula. - What? 1581 01:28:48,801 --> 01:28:50,176 You said "Sulu." It's Sula. 1582 01:28:50,301 --> 01:28:52,259 Yeah, I believe Sulu's 1583 01:28:52,384 --> 01:28:54,176 a character on Star Trek. 1584 01:28:57,802 --> 01:28:59,177 My mistake. 1585 01:29:00,885 --> 01:29:04,093 So, speaking of scholarships... 1586 01:29:05,052 --> 01:29:06,427 Right... 1587 01:29:06,552 --> 01:29:08,718 Yeah, well, I guess... 1588 01:29:08,843 --> 01:29:12,094 now's as good a time as any. 1589 01:29:14,428 --> 01:29:16,636 Cynthia, do you want to...? 1590 01:29:17,761 --> 01:29:19,719 Well, um... 1591 01:29:19,844 --> 01:29:23,344 Zoe happened to mention that Evan was having some difficulty 1592 01:29:23,469 --> 01:29:27,136 in terms of the financial burden of college. 1593 01:29:27,261 --> 01:29:30,554 And Larry and I started thinking, 1594 01:29:30,679 --> 01:29:32,387 and we've been fortunate enough 1595 01:29:32,512 --> 01:29:34,720 to set some money aside for Connor. 1596 01:29:38,304 --> 01:29:39,929 Um, I'm good. 1597 01:29:40,054 --> 01:29:41,720 - I'm okay. - Yeah. 1598 01:29:41,845 --> 01:29:44,180 Heidi, with your blessing, we would like to give Evan 1599 01:29:44,305 --> 01:29:45,930 the money that we set aside for our son 1600 01:29:46,055 --> 01:29:49,971 so he can fulfill his dreams. 1601 01:29:55,638 --> 01:29:58,055 Thank you so much... 1602 01:29:58,180 --> 01:29:59,805 but we're gonna be fine. 1603 01:29:59,930 --> 01:30:02,222 I don't have a lot of money, but I-I do have some. 1604 01:30:03,972 --> 01:30:05,556 No, no, no, no, no. I didn't mean to intimate... 1605 01:30:05,681 --> 01:30:08,056 No, no, I understand, but, um, we do have money, 1606 01:30:08,181 --> 01:30:11,639 so I'm sorry you were under the impression that we didn't. 1607 01:30:11,764 --> 01:30:13,889 And whatever money we don't have, 1608 01:30:14,014 --> 01:30:16,890 Evan will either make up for with a job 1609 01:30:17,015 --> 01:30:18,557 or he'll get a scholarship. 1610 01:30:18,682 --> 01:30:21,473 I don't want my son to get the idea that it's okay 1611 01:30:21,598 --> 01:30:23,015 to rely on other people for favors. 1612 01:30:23,140 --> 01:30:24,932 - Well, it's not a favor. - No. 1613 01:30:25,057 --> 01:30:27,223 But as his mother, I need to set that example. 1614 01:30:27,348 --> 01:30:29,265 You can't expect things from strangers. 1615 01:30:29,390 --> 01:30:31,223 We're not strangers. 1616 01:30:31,348 --> 01:30:33,599 No, of course not. 1617 01:30:34,599 --> 01:30:36,474 But you're not family either. 1618 01:30:44,058 --> 01:30:45,558 Mom, just hold on. 1619 01:30:45,724 --> 01:30:47,433 No, I think I better get to work, 1620 01:30:47,558 --> 01:30:49,225 see if I can grab a shift now that I know 1621 01:30:49,350 --> 01:30:51,309 how concerned you are about our finances. 1622 01:30:51,434 --> 01:30:52,725 Mom, will you please come back inside? 1623 01:30:52,850 --> 01:30:54,767 My God. Are you kidding me? 1624 01:30:54,892 --> 01:30:57,017 Will you just come back inside, please? 1625 01:30:57,142 --> 01:30:59,059 They think you're their son, these people. 1626 01:31:00,100 --> 01:31:01,100 They're not "these people." 1627 01:31:01,225 --> 01:31:02,559 They don't really know you. 1628 01:31:02,684 --> 01:31:04,601 Well, they like me. They like me. 1629 01:31:04,726 --> 01:31:06,226 I know that that's very hard for you to believe, 1630 01:31:06,351 --> 01:31:07,726 that they don't think I'm... 1631 01:31:07,851 --> 01:31:09,185 you know, that there's something wrong with me, 1632 01:31:09,310 --> 01:31:10,643 that I need to be, like, fixed, like you do. 1633 01:31:10,768 --> 01:31:12,560 - When have I ever said that? - My God. 1634 01:31:12,685 --> 01:31:13,893 Mom, I-I have to go to therapy, right? 1635 01:31:14,018 --> 01:31:15,268 I have to take drugs. I have to... 1636 01:31:15,393 --> 01:31:16,935 There's-there's nothing wrong with that. 1637 01:31:17,060 --> 01:31:18,226 There-There's nothing wrong with needing help, honey. 1638 01:31:18,351 --> 01:31:19,310 Just stop. I know that there is, 1639 01:31:19,435 --> 01:31:20,894 and I know that I'm a burden, 1640 01:31:21,019 --> 01:31:22,394 that I'm the worst thing that ever happened to you, 1641 01:31:22,519 --> 01:31:23,436 and I just... well, I just ruined your life, okay?! 1642 01:31:23,561 --> 01:31:26,477 No. You are the best thing. 1643 01:31:26,602 --> 01:31:28,811 You're the best thing that's ever happened to me. 1644 01:31:30,311 --> 01:31:32,269 I'm sorry I can't give you anything more than that. 1645 01:31:33,727 --> 01:31:35,853 It's not my fault if other people can. 1646 01:31:43,187 --> 01:31:44,103 I'll see you at home. 1647 01:31:55,646 --> 01:31:57,188 Hi. 1648 01:31:57,313 --> 01:31:59,021 I'm so sorry. I meant to be there yesterday. 1649 01:31:59,146 --> 01:32:02,313 Okay, well, we have two days left, and we're $25,000 short. 1650 01:32:02,438 --> 01:32:04,313 Yeah, I just... Everything... 1651 01:32:04,438 --> 01:32:05,938 You're right. I know. I'm sorry. 1652 01:32:06,063 --> 01:32:07,646 Things have been really busy, so... 1653 01:32:09,980 --> 01:32:11,439 I've been wondering something. 1654 01:32:14,314 --> 01:32:16,064 Were you ever actually friends with him? 1655 01:32:17,855 --> 01:32:19,397 What are you talking about? 1656 01:32:19,522 --> 01:32:22,022 Well, the thing about the emails, it's just that, 1657 01:32:22,147 --> 01:32:23,981 like, you and Connor keep talking about 1658 01:32:24,106 --> 01:32:25,690 climbing this tree together in June. 1659 01:32:26,898 --> 01:32:29,106 We were in school in June. 1660 01:32:30,106 --> 01:32:32,273 You didn't have a cast until September. 1661 01:32:32,398 --> 01:32:34,065 Well, you know what? 1662 01:32:34,190 --> 01:32:35,940 We probably just wrote down the wrong date or something. 1663 01:32:36,065 --> 01:32:39,481 It's not just the emails, Evan. 1664 01:32:39,606 --> 01:32:41,941 You've missed, like, three meetings in a row. 1665 01:32:42,066 --> 01:32:43,857 If I were his best friend, 1666 01:32:43,982 --> 01:32:45,649 I would be doing everything I could to make sure 1667 01:32:45,774 --> 01:32:47,274 his dream of rebuilding the orchard came true. 1668 01:32:47,399 --> 01:32:49,024 Okay. 1669 01:32:49,149 --> 01:32:50,774 Look, it's terrible that people aren't giving 1670 01:32:50,899 --> 01:32:52,524 as much money as we hoped they would. 1671 01:32:52,649 --> 01:32:54,941 It is, but-but it's not like it's him. 1672 01:32:55,066 --> 01:32:56,317 You know what I mean? 1673 01:32:56,442 --> 01:32:58,358 It's-it's just... it's an orchard, Alana. 1674 01:32:58,483 --> 01:33:01,108 ♪ ♪ 1675 01:33:02,400 --> 01:33:05,400 We have people watching us, 1676 01:33:05,525 --> 01:33:07,733 hoping... 1677 01:33:07,858 --> 01:33:10,858 praying that we can prove Connor wrong. 1678 01:33:10,983 --> 01:33:14,151 And if the orchard is just an empty promise, 1679 01:33:14,276 --> 01:33:17,318 all of those people will know that Connor was right. 1680 01:33:18,984 --> 01:33:20,443 That no one cares. 1681 01:33:23,484 --> 01:33:25,484 Did you lie to me? 1682 01:33:29,777 --> 01:33:31,860 Did I lie to all these people? 1683 01:33:38,527 --> 01:33:40,360 Just go to your email. 1684 01:33:40,485 --> 01:33:41,735 Another email? 1685 01:33:41,860 --> 01:33:43,820 It's not... 1686 01:33:43,945 --> 01:33:45,986 it's not another email. 1687 01:33:53,903 --> 01:33:56,028 "Dear Evan Hansen..." 1688 01:33:57,986 --> 01:34:00,029 If we weren't friends, then he wouldn't... 1689 01:34:02,029 --> 01:34:04,487 ...he wouldn't have written his note to me. 1690 01:34:07,529 --> 01:34:10,279 Look, only his family have seen this, okay? 1691 01:34:10,404 --> 01:34:14,029 You can't, you can't show it to anybody else, okay? 1692 01:34:14,154 --> 01:34:15,988 Alana. 1693 01:34:16,113 --> 01:34:17,447 Okay. 1694 01:34:27,113 --> 01:34:28,780 He wasn't right. 1695 01:34:30,155 --> 01:34:31,906 You know that, don't you? 1696 01:34:52,032 --> 01:34:54,574 ♪ The parts we can't tell, we carry them well ♪ 1697 01:34:54,699 --> 01:34:57,282 ♪ But that doesn't mean they're not heavy ♪ 1698 01:34:57,407 --> 01:35:00,115 ♪ The parts we can't tell, we carry them well ♪ 1699 01:35:00,240 --> 01:35:02,574 ♪ But that doesn't mean they're not heavy ♪ 1700 01:35:02,699 --> 01:35:05,408 ♪ The anonymous one ♪ 1701 01:35:05,533 --> 01:35:07,783 ♪ Noticed by none ♪ 1702 01:35:07,908 --> 01:35:10,325 ♪ The parts we can't tell, we carry them well ♪ 1703 01:35:10,450 --> 01:35:13,616 ♪ But that doesn't mean they're not heavy ♪ 1704 01:35:14,575 --> 01:35:17,033 ♪ ♪ 1705 01:35:17,158 --> 01:35:19,867 ♪ The parts we can't tell ♪ 1706 01:35:19,992 --> 01:35:22,409 ♪ We carry them well ♪ 1707 01:35:22,534 --> 01:35:26,992 ♪ But that doesn't mean they're not heavy ♪ 1708 01:35:27,117 --> 01:35:29,409 ♪ The parts we can't tell ♪ 1709 01:35:29,534 --> 01:35:31,617 ♪ We carry them well ♪ 1710 01:35:31,742 --> 01:35:38,327 ♪ But that doesn't mean they're not heavy ♪ 1711 01:35:41,993 --> 01:35:44,035 ♪ ♪ 1712 01:35:49,035 --> 01:35:51,994 ♪ The anonymous ones ♪ 1713 01:35:52,119 --> 01:35:56,119 ♪ Who might just need this moment to remind them ♪ 1714 01:35:58,119 --> 01:36:01,786 ♪ That there are more anonymous ones ♪ 1715 01:36:01,911 --> 01:36:06,244 ♪ They're out there if you take the time to find them ♪ 1716 01:36:14,037 --> 01:36:19,537 ♪ Just to know we're somehow not alone ♪ 1717 01:36:19,662 --> 01:36:26,121 ♪ Isn't that all we're ever really looking for? ♪ 1718 01:36:30,746 --> 01:36:32,246 ♪ ♪ 1719 01:36:48,789 --> 01:36:51,539 ♪ Maybe we ♪ 1720 01:36:51,664 --> 01:36:54,206 ♪ We don't have to be ♪ 1721 01:36:57,915 --> 01:37:00,082 ♪ Anonymous anymore. ♪ 1722 01:37:05,707 --> 01:37:07,123 ♪ ♪ 1723 01:37:28,917 --> 01:37:31,709 ♪ ♪ 1724 01:37:36,000 --> 01:37:37,542 Can you imagine? 1725 01:37:55,460 --> 01:37:57,251 Wh-What's wrong? 1726 01:37:57,376 --> 01:37:59,001 ♪ ♪ 1727 01:38:02,919 --> 01:38:04,794 Yep. 1728 01:38:17,920 --> 01:38:20,087 ♪ ♪ 1729 01:38:38,296 --> 01:38:39,588 Hi. 1730 01:38:39,713 --> 01:38:41,379 Alana, you have to take it down, okay? 1731 01:38:41,504 --> 01:38:43,046 They've been through enough. 1732 01:38:43,171 --> 01:38:44,838 I took it down already, Evan, but it-it doesn't matter 1733 01:38:44,963 --> 01:38:46,213 because it's everywhere. 1734 01:38:51,505 --> 01:38:54,255 ♪ ♪ 1735 01:38:54,380 --> 01:38:55,422 Zoe, it's me. 1736 01:38:55,547 --> 01:38:56,672 Please call me back, okay? 1737 01:38:56,797 --> 01:38:58,422 I'm worried about you. 1738 01:38:58,547 --> 01:39:00,172 They have pictures of us now. 1739 01:39:00,297 --> 01:39:01,589 Just put it away. 1740 01:39:01,714 --> 01:39:03,590 "His parents act like they are bereft, 1741 01:39:03,715 --> 01:39:06,298 but where were they when their son was actually alive?" 1742 01:39:06,423 --> 01:39:08,465 Please stop reading them. 1743 01:39:10,923 --> 01:39:13,131 - Hey. Is Zoe here? - She went home. 1744 01:39:15,298 --> 01:39:18,048 ♪ ♪ 1745 01:39:29,382 --> 01:39:30,549 Things really aren't good here. 1746 01:39:30,674 --> 01:39:33,007 I know. I just... I had to come. 1747 01:39:34,174 --> 01:39:36,008 Where did they even... How did they get Connor's note? 1748 01:39:36,133 --> 01:39:37,508 I don't know. 1749 01:39:37,633 --> 01:39:39,258 Like, did they hack our computers? 1750 01:39:39,383 --> 01:39:40,967 They hacked our emails? Did... These people are adults. 1751 01:39:41,092 --> 01:39:42,550 Did you see their pictures? 1752 01:39:42,675 --> 01:39:43,800 These people are adults. 1753 01:39:43,925 --> 01:39:45,425 Look, maybe let it ring. 1754 01:39:45,550 --> 01:39:47,717 I'm sick of hiding. Hello? 1755 01:39:47,842 --> 01:39:49,258 Yeah, have-have fun with your miserable life. 1756 01:39:49,383 --> 01:39:51,050 What did they say? What's the number? 1757 01:39:51,175 --> 01:39:52,384 It's blocked. 1758 01:39:52,509 --> 01:39:53,926 It doesn't... No, it doesn't matter. 1759 01:39:54,051 --> 01:39:55,676 That's it. I'm calling the police. 1760 01:39:55,801 --> 01:39:56,718 No, look, right now, maybe the best thing to do 1761 01:39:56,843 --> 01:39:58,593 is to just stay calm, all right? 1762 01:39:58,718 --> 01:40:00,384 - And sit... - That's always your solution, isn't it? 1763 01:40:00,509 --> 01:40:01,801 Wait and see. Let's just wait and see, right, Larry? 1764 01:40:01,926 --> 01:40:02,968 What are the police going to do? 1765 01:40:03,093 --> 01:40:04,301 It's the Internet. Wh... 1766 01:40:04,426 --> 01:40:05,926 Are they gonna arrest the Internet? 1767 01:40:06,051 --> 01:40:07,051 I had to beg you, every step of the way, 1768 01:40:07,176 --> 01:40:08,177 for-for therapy, for-for rehab. 1769 01:40:08,302 --> 01:40:09,927 What? N-No, no. 1770 01:40:10,052 --> 01:40:11,719 You went lurching from one miracle cure to the next... 1771 01:40:11,844 --> 01:40:13,427 You're... Really? 1772 01:40:13,552 --> 01:40:15,385 ...because all he needed was another $20,000 1773 01:40:15,510 --> 01:40:16,469 weekend yoga retreat. 1774 01:40:16,594 --> 01:40:17,969 What was your alternative, 1775 01:40:18,094 --> 01:40:19,427 other than picking apart everything that I did? 1776 01:40:19,552 --> 01:40:21,469 How about putting him on 1777 01:40:21,594 --> 01:40:23,219 one program and sticking to it? 1778 01:40:23,345 --> 01:40:25,136 Remember what he said 1779 01:40:25,261 --> 01:40:27,220 the first time that Connor tried to kill himself? 1780 01:40:27,345 --> 01:40:28,803 - That he's just looking for attention. - For Christ's sake. 1781 01:40:28,928 --> 01:40:30,428 He just wants attention! 1782 01:40:30,553 --> 01:40:32,136 I'm not gonna sit here and defend myself! 1783 01:40:32,261 --> 01:40:33,595 You couldn't understand him. 1784 01:40:33,720 --> 01:40:36,678 You never understood him because he wasn't yours! 1785 01:40:36,803 --> 01:40:38,845 Mom, what the hell? 1786 01:40:38,970 --> 01:40:40,679 I raised him from the time he was three years old. 1787 01:40:40,804 --> 01:40:42,304 He was getting better, and you refused to see it. Ask Evan. 1788 01:40:42,429 --> 01:40:44,262 Tell them, Evan. 1789 01:40:44,387 --> 01:40:46,054 Evan did everything that he could. 1790 01:40:46,179 --> 01:40:48,971 Evan? Evan was in denial of what was happening. 1791 01:40:49,096 --> 01:40:50,762 Do not bring him into this. 1792 01:40:50,887 --> 01:40:51,971 Read the note, Larry. 1793 01:40:52,096 --> 01:40:53,596 Read what he said. 1794 01:40:53,721 --> 01:40:55,638 "I just wish that everything was different." 1795 01:40:55,763 --> 01:40:57,555 I tried. 1796 01:40:57,680 --> 01:40:59,097 - But he was my son! - He wanted to be better! - ZOE: Please. 1797 01:40:59,222 --> 01:41:00,347 I-I tried everything! 1798 01:41:00,472 --> 01:41:02,013 Stop it! Just please stop! 1799 01:41:02,138 --> 01:41:04,430 - Please stop fighting! - He was trying to be better! 1800 01:41:04,555 --> 01:41:05,430 He was trying! 1801 01:41:05,555 --> 01:41:07,013 And he was failing. 1802 01:41:07,138 --> 01:41:09,263 We failed him. 1803 01:41:10,305 --> 01:41:11,723 No, you didn't. No, you didn't. 1804 01:41:11,848 --> 01:41:12,973 You didn't fail him. 1805 01:41:15,181 --> 01:41:16,431 Read the note. 1806 01:41:18,306 --> 01:41:19,973 He didn't write it. 1807 01:41:25,764 --> 01:41:27,056 I wrote it. 1808 01:41:27,181 --> 01:41:30,557 You didn't write Connor's suicide note. 1809 01:41:31,515 --> 01:41:35,265 Um, it was an assignment from my therapist. 1810 01:41:35,390 --> 01:41:37,307 Write a letter to yourself, um, a pep talk. 1811 01:41:37,432 --> 01:41:39,349 "Evan Hansen, Dear Evan Hansen, today's gonna be a good day. 1812 01:41:39,474 --> 01:41:41,057 - Here's why." - I-I don't, I don't think that... 1813 01:41:41,182 --> 01:41:42,849 I was supposed to bring it to my appointment with me, 1814 01:41:42,974 --> 01:41:45,058 but Connor took it, and then I guess he must have had it 1815 01:41:45,183 --> 01:41:47,058 with him, um... 1816 01:41:49,225 --> 01:41:51,600 ...when you found him, so... 1817 01:41:56,391 --> 01:41:57,850 What are you saying? 1818 01:41:59,601 --> 01:42:01,142 We weren't friends. 1819 01:42:01,267 --> 01:42:02,642 No. 1820 01:42:02,767 --> 01:42:04,142 No, no, no, no. 1821 01:42:04,267 --> 01:42:06,601 ♪ I never meant to make it such a mess ♪ 1822 01:42:08,642 --> 01:42:11,392 ♪ I never thought that it would go this far ♪ 1823 01:42:11,517 --> 01:42:13,892 There were emails. You showed us emails. 1824 01:42:14,017 --> 01:42:18,185 ♪ So I just stand here sorry ♪ 1825 01:42:18,310 --> 01:42:20,810 ♪ Searching for something to say ♪ 1826 01:42:22,143 --> 01:42:23,518 ♪ Something to say ♪ 1827 01:42:23,643 --> 01:42:25,935 Y-Y-You knew about the orchard. 1828 01:42:26,060 --> 01:42:28,185 He-he took you to the orchard. 1829 01:42:28,310 --> 01:42:29,977 That's where you broke your arm. 1830 01:42:30,102 --> 01:42:33,644 I broke my arm in Ellison Park, um, by myself. 1831 01:42:33,769 --> 01:42:36,144 But that day at the orchard... 1832 01:42:37,894 --> 01:42:39,811 You and Connor at the orchard. 1833 01:42:39,936 --> 01:42:41,978 ♪ ♪ 1834 01:42:44,103 --> 01:42:46,144 ♪ Words fail ♪ 1835 01:42:47,229 --> 01:42:49,270 ♪ Words fail ♪ 1836 01:42:50,729 --> 01:42:53,395 ♪ There's nothing I can say ♪ 1837 01:42:53,520 --> 01:42:54,979 God. 1838 01:42:56,937 --> 01:42:59,354 But you said that you guys would talk about me. 1839 01:42:59,479 --> 01:43:01,354 He would... 1840 01:43:01,479 --> 01:43:02,937 How could you do this? 1841 01:43:03,062 --> 01:43:05,605 ♪ I guess I thought I could be part of this ♪ 1842 01:43:07,021 --> 01:43:09,938 ♪ I never had this kind of thing before ♪ 1843 01:43:11,355 --> 01:43:14,438 ♪ I never had that perfect girl ♪ 1844 01:43:14,563 --> 01:43:19,689 ♪ Who somehow could see the good part of me ♪ 1845 01:43:21,189 --> 01:43:23,647 ♪ I never had the dad who stuck it out ♪ 1846 01:43:25,147 --> 01:43:28,939 ♪ No corny jokes or baseball gloves ♪ 1847 01:43:29,064 --> 01:43:31,439 ♪ No mom who just was there ♪ 1848 01:43:31,564 --> 01:43:36,940 ♪ 'Cause mom was all that she had to be ♪ 1849 01:43:37,065 --> 01:43:40,940 ♪ That's not a worthy explanation ♪ 1850 01:43:41,065 --> 01:43:43,898 ♪ I know there is none ♪ 1851 01:43:45,940 --> 01:43:51,441 ♪ Nothing can make sense of all these things I've done ♪ 1852 01:43:53,399 --> 01:43:58,108 ♪ Words fail, words fail ♪ 1853 01:43:58,233 --> 01:44:01,691 ♪ There's nothing I can say ♪ 1854 01:44:01,816 --> 01:44:05,274 ♪ Except sometimes you see everything you wanted ♪ 1855 01:44:05,399 --> 01:44:07,484 ♪ And sometimes ♪ 1856 01:44:07,609 --> 01:44:09,942 ♪ You see everything you wish you had ♪ 1857 01:44:10,067 --> 01:44:15,025 ♪ And it's right there, right there, right there ♪ 1858 01:44:15,150 --> 01:44:17,359 ♪ In front of you ♪ 1859 01:44:22,234 --> 01:44:25,360 ♪ And you want to believe it's true ♪ 1860 01:44:31,401 --> 01:44:34,360 ♪ So you make it true ♪ 1861 01:44:38,068 --> 01:44:41,736 ♪ And you think maybe ♪ 1862 01:44:41,861 --> 01:44:47,319 ♪ Everybody wants it ♪ 1863 01:44:49,986 --> 01:44:51,652 ♪ And needs it ♪ 1864 01:44:53,569 --> 01:44:57,070 ♪ A little bit, too. ♪ 1865 01:45:13,654 --> 01:45:14,904 Zoe. 1866 01:45:17,613 --> 01:45:19,196 ♪ ♪ 1867 01:45:24,154 --> 01:45:26,988 I think it's time for you to go. 1868 01:45:45,531 --> 01:45:47,573 ♪ ♪ 1869 01:45:59,157 --> 01:46:00,324 Go away, Evan. 1870 01:46:00,449 --> 01:46:01,866 It isn't fair, okay? 1871 01:46:01,991 --> 01:46:03,282 You can't, you can't let people 1872 01:46:03,407 --> 01:46:05,449 just blame you and your parents. 1873 01:46:05,574 --> 01:46:06,782 They need to know it was me, okay? 1874 01:46:06,907 --> 01:46:08,116 I'm the one people should hate. 1875 01:46:08,241 --> 01:46:10,699 Yeah, well, we're not telling anyone. 1876 01:46:10,824 --> 01:46:12,282 Well, that's... I... 1877 01:46:12,407 --> 01:46:15,283 You can't... You have to. 1878 01:46:15,408 --> 01:46:17,450 It's not my decision. 1879 01:46:17,575 --> 01:46:19,158 It's my mom's. 1880 01:46:19,283 --> 01:46:20,742 She doesn't want to ruin your life. 1881 01:46:20,867 --> 01:46:23,242 She's afraid you'll do something stupid. 1882 01:46:23,367 --> 01:46:25,325 Like hurt yourself. 1883 01:46:29,408 --> 01:46:31,993 She said they already lost one son. 1884 01:46:36,409 --> 01:46:38,868 Can you just... 1885 01:46:38,993 --> 01:46:41,368 leave my family alone, okay? 1886 01:46:41,493 --> 01:46:43,534 ♪ ♪ 1887 01:47:03,203 --> 01:47:05,245 ♪ ♪ 1888 01:47:08,953 --> 01:47:13,120 ♪ This was just a sad invention ♪ 1889 01:47:14,495 --> 01:47:17,245 ♪ It wasn't real, I know ♪ 1890 01:47:19,037 --> 01:47:20,912 ♪ But we were happy ♪ 1891 01:47:22,621 --> 01:47:26,037 ♪ I guess I couldn't let that go ♪ 1892 01:47:28,079 --> 01:47:30,829 ♪ I guess I couldn't give that up ♪ 1893 01:47:32,412 --> 01:47:35,080 ♪ I guess I wanted to believe ♪ 1894 01:47:35,205 --> 01:47:37,747 ♪ 'Cause if I just believe ♪ 1895 01:47:37,872 --> 01:47:40,622 ♪ Then I don't have to see ♪ 1896 01:47:40,747 --> 01:47:42,997 ♪ What's really there ♪ 1897 01:47:44,872 --> 01:47:46,747 ♪ No, I'd rather pretend ♪ 1898 01:47:46,872 --> 01:47:49,913 ♪ I'm something better than these broken parts ♪ 1899 01:47:50,038 --> 01:47:52,831 ♪ Pretend I'm something other than ♪ 1900 01:47:52,956 --> 01:47:54,873 ♪ This mess that I am ♪ 1901 01:47:54,998 --> 01:47:57,789 ♪ 'Cause then I don't have to look at it ♪ 1902 01:47:57,914 --> 01:48:00,164 ♪ And no one gets to look at it ♪ 1903 01:48:00,289 --> 01:48:05,123 ♪ No, no one can really see ♪ 1904 01:48:05,248 --> 01:48:09,332 ♪ 'Cause I've learned to slam on the brake ♪ 1905 01:48:09,457 --> 01:48:13,915 ♪ Before I even turn the key ♪ 1906 01:48:14,040 --> 01:48:18,290 ♪ Before I make the mistake ♪ 1907 01:48:18,415 --> 01:48:22,165 ♪ Before I lead with the worst of me ♪ 1908 01:48:22,290 --> 01:48:24,375 ♪ I never let them see ♪ 1909 01:48:24,500 --> 01:48:33,000 ♪ The worst of me ♪ 1910 01:48:38,166 --> 01:48:40,667 ♪ ♪ 1911 01:48:42,667 --> 01:48:44,334 ♪ 'Cause what if everyone saw? ♪ 1912 01:48:48,584 --> 01:48:51,084 ♪ What if everyone knew? ♪ 1913 01:48:53,209 --> 01:48:55,585 ♪ Would they like what they saw? ♪ 1914 01:48:57,752 --> 01:49:00,752 ♪ Or would they hate it, too? ♪ 1915 01:49:11,961 --> 01:49:16,253 ♪ Will I just keep on running away ♪ 1916 01:49:16,378 --> 01:49:20,419 ♪ From what's true? ♪ 1917 01:49:23,461 --> 01:49:28,962 ♪ All I ever do is run ♪ 1918 01:49:32,295 --> 01:49:36,754 ♪ So how do I step in ♪ 1919 01:49:41,420 --> 01:49:49,505 ♪ Step into the sun? ♪ 1920 01:49:51,130 --> 01:49:57,713 ♪ Step into the sun. ♪ 1921 01:49:57,838 --> 01:49:59,839 ♪ ♪ 1922 01:50:32,341 --> 01:50:33,591 Evan? 1923 01:50:34,549 --> 01:50:36,174 Evan? 1924 01:50:44,841 --> 01:50:46,091 Evan? 1925 01:51:02,801 --> 01:51:04,260 Honey. 1926 01:51:10,093 --> 01:51:11,968 "Dear Evan Hansen..." 1927 01:51:14,093 --> 01:51:16,343 You wrote this? Connor's note? 1928 01:51:20,011 --> 01:51:21,469 I didn't know. 1929 01:51:21,594 --> 01:51:23,177 No one did. 1930 01:51:23,302 --> 01:51:25,177 No, honey, that's... 1931 01:51:26,594 --> 01:51:28,636 ...that's not what I meant. 1932 01:51:30,511 --> 01:51:32,552 I didn't know that you were... 1933 01:51:33,719 --> 01:51:35,928 ...that you were hurting like that. 1934 01:51:36,053 --> 01:51:38,303 That you felt... 1935 01:51:38,428 --> 01:51:40,095 I didn't know. 1936 01:51:42,595 --> 01:51:44,262 I lied. 1937 01:51:48,220 --> 01:51:50,512 I lied about so many things. 1938 01:51:53,179 --> 01:51:55,221 Not just Connor. Um... 1939 01:52:00,013 --> 01:52:02,263 So, last summer, um... 1940 01:52:05,054 --> 01:52:06,513 ...I just... 1941 01:52:09,055 --> 01:52:11,639 ...I just felt so alone. Um... 1942 01:52:14,722 --> 01:52:16,180 You can tell me. 1943 01:52:19,347 --> 01:52:21,014 The tree. 1944 01:52:24,056 --> 01:52:26,056 I didn't fall. 1945 01:52:29,140 --> 01:52:30,390 I let go. 1946 01:52:34,598 --> 01:52:36,848 - Evan. - Do you hate me now? 1947 01:52:39,224 --> 01:52:42,724 You should. You should. 1948 01:52:42,849 --> 01:52:47,224 If you knew who I am, just how just broken I am. 1949 01:52:48,224 --> 01:52:50,099 I already know you. 1950 01:52:51,599 --> 01:52:52,849 And I love you. 1951 01:52:58,892 --> 01:53:00,975 I can promise you that... 1952 01:53:03,392 --> 01:53:04,850 ...someday... 1953 01:53:06,017 --> 01:53:09,392 ...all of this is gonna feel like a very long time ago. 1954 01:53:16,851 --> 01:53:18,893 Your dad, um... 1955 01:53:21,893 --> 01:53:24,226 Do you remember when he drove by to get his things? 1956 01:53:24,393 --> 01:53:26,434 ♪ ♪ 1957 01:53:29,810 --> 01:53:32,477 It was a few weeks after he moved out. 1958 01:53:34,185 --> 01:53:36,227 Temporarily, we said. 1959 01:53:37,602 --> 01:53:40,144 ♪ It was a February day ♪ 1960 01:53:41,852 --> 01:53:46,853 ♪ When your dad came by before going away ♪ 1961 01:53:48,228 --> 01:53:51,561 ♪ A U-Haul truck in the driveway ♪ 1962 01:53:53,228 --> 01:53:58,103 ♪ The day it was suddenly real ♪ 1963 01:53:59,562 --> 01:54:02,479 ♪ I told you not to come outside ♪ 1964 01:54:03,604 --> 01:54:09,146 ♪ But you saw that truck, and you smiled so wide ♪ 1965 01:54:10,854 --> 01:54:15,313 ♪ A real live truck in your driveway ♪ 1966 01:54:16,313 --> 01:54:20,355 ♪ We let you sit behind the wheel ♪ 1967 01:54:23,063 --> 01:54:27,772 ♪ Goodbye, goodbye ♪ 1968 01:54:28,772 --> 01:54:32,398 ♪ Now it's just me ♪ 1969 01:54:32,523 --> 01:54:35,481 ♪ And my little guy ♪ 1970 01:54:37,814 --> 01:54:42,273 ♪ And the house felt so big ♪ 1971 01:54:44,273 --> 01:54:49,190 ♪ And I felt so small ♪ 1972 01:54:50,482 --> 01:54:54,982 ♪ The house felt so big ♪ 1973 01:54:56,482 --> 01:55:01,065 ♪ And I felt so small ♪ 1974 01:55:03,150 --> 01:55:05,983 ♪ That night, I tucked you into bed ♪ 1975 01:55:07,358 --> 01:55:12,816 ♪ I will never forget how you sat up and said ♪ 1976 01:55:12,941 --> 01:55:17,025 ♪ "Is there another truck coming to our driveway? ♪ 1977 01:55:18,316 --> 01:55:23,859 ♪ A truck that will take Mommy away?" ♪ 1978 01:55:25,692 --> 01:55:30,942 ♪ And the house felt so big ♪ 1979 01:55:31,942 --> 01:55:37,443 ♪ And I felt so small ♪ 1980 01:55:38,485 --> 01:55:43,485 ♪ The house felt so big ♪ 1981 01:55:43,610 --> 01:55:46,568 ♪ And I ♪ 1982 01:55:46,693 --> 01:55:50,443 ♪ And I knew there would be ♪ 1983 01:55:50,569 --> 01:55:53,403 ♪ Moments that I'd miss ♪ 1984 01:55:53,528 --> 01:55:56,736 ♪ And I knew there would be ♪ 1985 01:55:56,861 --> 01:55:59,278 ♪ Space I couldn't fill ♪ 1986 01:55:59,403 --> 01:56:02,778 ♪ And I knew I'd come up short ♪ 1987 01:56:02,903 --> 01:56:07,279 ♪ A million different ways ♪ 1988 01:56:07,404 --> 01:56:09,904 ♪ And I did ♪ 1989 01:56:11,779 --> 01:56:15,529 ♪ And I do ♪ 1990 01:56:17,070 --> 01:56:19,570 ♪ And I will ♪ 1991 01:56:21,779 --> 01:56:24,446 ♪ But like that February day ♪ 1992 01:56:26,071 --> 01:56:28,155 ♪ I will take your hand ♪ 1993 01:56:28,280 --> 01:56:31,821 ♪ Squeeze it tightly and say ♪ 1994 01:56:31,946 --> 01:56:35,446 ♪ "There's not another truck in the driveway ♪ 1995 01:56:36,946 --> 01:56:39,447 ♪ "Your mom isn't going anywhere ♪ 1996 01:56:39,572 --> 01:56:42,364 ♪ "Your mom is staying right here ♪ 1997 01:56:42,489 --> 01:56:45,114 ♪ "Your mom isn't going anywhere ♪ 1998 01:56:45,239 --> 01:56:48,489 ♪ Your mom is staying right here" ♪ 1999 01:56:49,447 --> 01:56:51,531 ♪ No matter what ♪ 2000 01:56:53,864 --> 01:56:58,282 ♪ I'll be here ♪ 2001 01:56:59,282 --> 01:57:04,323 ♪ When it all feels so big ♪ 2002 01:57:05,573 --> 01:57:10,533 ♪ Till it all feels so small ♪ 2003 01:57:11,533 --> 01:57:16,158 ♪ When it all feels so big ♪ 2004 01:57:17,491 --> 01:57:20,574 ♪ Till it all feels ♪ 2005 01:57:20,699 --> 01:57:26,950 ♪ So small ♪ 2006 01:57:29,367 --> 01:57:35,909 ♪ Till it all feels so small. ♪ 2007 01:57:44,368 --> 01:57:46,910 It's gonna get better, I promise. 2008 01:58:01,494 --> 01:58:03,744 I was never friends with Connor Murphy. 2009 01:58:05,202 --> 01:58:07,494 I lied, 2010 01:58:07,619 --> 01:58:09,244 repeatedly, 2011 01:58:09,369 --> 01:58:12,161 to his family, 2012 01:58:12,286 --> 01:58:14,745 to Alana, 2013 01:58:14,870 --> 01:58:16,745 to all of you. 2014 01:58:18,370 --> 01:58:19,912 I'm not asking for your forgiveness. 2015 01:58:20,037 --> 01:58:21,037 I don't deserve it. 2016 01:58:21,162 --> 01:58:23,703 But, um, please... 2017 01:58:25,328 --> 01:58:27,787 Connor's family doesn't deserve your hatred. 2018 01:58:29,453 --> 01:58:30,913 I do. 2019 01:58:33,246 --> 01:58:34,704 I'm sorry. 2020 01:59:39,458 --> 01:59:41,500 ♪ ♪ 2021 01:59:47,375 --> 01:59:49,958 ♪ Spent so many seasons ♪ 2022 01:59:50,083 --> 01:59:53,293 ♪ Lost inside my mind ♪ 2023 01:59:53,418 --> 01:59:57,751 {\an8}♪ Lost inside my mind ♪ 2024 01:59:59,418 --> 02:00:01,668 {\an8}♪ Like a message in a bottle ♪ 2025 02:00:01,793 --> 02:00:04,626 ♪ I thought nobody would find ♪ 2026 02:00:04,751 --> 02:00:08,960 ♪ That nobody would find ♪ 2027 02:00:10,710 --> 02:00:13,877 ♪ I've been drifting, I've been dreaming ♪ 2028 02:00:14,002 --> 02:00:16,794 ♪ I would land upon the shore ♪ 2029 02:00:16,919 --> 02:00:20,210 ♪ To a haven, to a harbor ♪ 2030 02:00:20,335 --> 02:00:24,753 ♪ That felt so far before ♪ 2031 02:00:26,128 --> 02:00:28,961 ♪ Well, today ♪ 2032 02:00:29,086 --> 02:00:32,003 ♪ Today ♪ 2033 02:00:32,128 --> 02:00:34,545 ♪ What felt so far away ♪ 2034 02:00:34,670 --> 02:00:38,045 ♪ Feels a little closer ♪ 2035 02:00:38,170 --> 02:00:44,337 ♪ For today, today ♪ 2036 02:00:44,462 --> 02:00:46,629 ♪ Today ♪ 2037 02:00:48,754 --> 02:00:53,504 ♪ It feels a little closer ♪ 2038 02:00:56,672 --> 02:00:58,922 ♪ How long these days of darkness ♪ 2039 02:00:59,047 --> 02:01:02,338 ♪ At the bottom of a well ♪ 2040 02:01:02,463 --> 02:01:06,838 ♪ That old, familiar well ♪ 2041 02:01:08,713 --> 02:01:12,173 ♪ Sitting heavy with these secrets ♪ 2042 02:01:12,298 --> 02:01:14,631 ♪ With nobody to tell ♪ 2043 02:01:14,756 --> 02:01:18,589 ♪ Nobody to tell ♪ 2044 02:01:19,589 --> 02:01:21,631 - Okay, your turn. Come on. - ♪ High above ♪ 2045 02:01:21,756 --> 02:01:23,298 ♪ A streak of sunlight ♪ 2046 02:01:23,423 --> 02:01:26,089 ♪ And a wall too tall to climb ♪ 2047 02:01:26,215 --> 02:01:29,965 ♪ All the reaching, all the wanting ♪ 2048 02:01:30,090 --> 02:01:33,465 ♪ Just to tumble every time ♪ 2049 02:01:33,590 --> 02:01:34,674 I think we got it. 2050 02:01:34,799 --> 02:01:36,382 All right. 2051 02:01:36,549 --> 02:01:39,465 ♪ But today ♪ 2052 02:01:39,590 --> 02:01:42,090 ♪ Today ♪ 2053 02:01:42,216 --> 02:01:44,466 ♪ What felt so far away ♪ 2054 02:01:44,591 --> 02:01:48,008 ♪ Feels a little closer ♪ 2055 02:01:48,133 --> 02:01:54,466 ♪ For today, today ♪ 2056 02:01:54,591 --> 02:01:56,925 ♪ Today ♪ 2057 02:01:59,759 --> 02:02:02,759 ♪ It feels a little closer ♪ 2058 02:02:03,717 --> 02:02:05,759 ♪ ♪ 2059 02:02:12,092 --> 02:02:18,468 ♪ And the days carry on ♪ 2060 02:02:18,593 --> 02:02:20,427 ♪ The clouds come rolling in ♪ 2061 02:02:20,552 --> 02:02:23,927 ♪ And then they're gone ♪ 2062 02:02:24,052 --> 02:02:30,928 ♪ As the days keep coming on ♪ 2063 02:02:31,053 --> 02:02:35,303 ♪ The midnight sky turns to dawn ♪ 2064 02:02:45,469 --> 02:02:51,470 ♪ Today, today ♪ 2065 02:02:51,595 --> 02:02:54,054 ♪ What felt so far away ♪ 2066 02:02:54,179 --> 02:02:57,887 ♪ Feels a little closer ♪ 2067 02:02:58,012 --> 02:03:04,138 ♪ Today, today ♪ 2068 02:03:04,263 --> 02:03:06,513 ♪ What felt so far away ♪ 2069 02:03:06,638 --> 02:03:10,971 ♪ Feels a little closer ♪ 2070 02:03:11,096 --> 02:03:16,763 ♪ For today, today ♪ 2071 02:03:16,888 --> 02:03:19,764 ♪ Today ♪ 2072 02:03:22,389 --> 02:03:25,472 ♪ It feels a little closer ♪ 2073 02:03:25,597 --> 02:03:28,139 ♪ A little closer ♪ 2074 02:03:28,264 --> 02:03:31,722 ♪ It feels a little closer ♪ 2075 02:03:31,847 --> 02:03:34,973 ♪ A little closer ♪ 2076 02:03:37,682 --> 02:03:41,890 ♪ It feels a little closer. ♪ 2077 02:04:23,685 --> 02:04:26,518 You must start school pretty soon. 2078 02:04:26,643 --> 02:04:28,518 Two more weeks. 2079 02:04:30,518 --> 02:04:32,893 When do you leave for college? 2080 02:04:33,018 --> 02:04:37,518 Um, actually I decided to take a year off, so... 2081 02:04:37,643 --> 02:04:39,352 Just try to save some money. 2082 02:04:39,477 --> 02:04:41,061 Get a job. 2083 02:04:41,186 --> 02:04:44,727 Take some time. 2084 02:04:44,852 --> 02:04:47,186 So, I'm taking classes at the community college. 2085 02:04:47,311 --> 02:04:50,186 I'll have credits to transfer in the fall, so... 2086 02:04:51,269 --> 02:04:52,352 That's smart. 2087 02:04:52,477 --> 02:04:54,353 Yeah. We'll see. 2088 02:04:58,103 --> 02:05:00,270 I always picture you and Connor here. 2089 02:05:01,645 --> 02:05:03,312 Even though... 2090 02:05:05,145 --> 02:05:07,020 This is my first time. 2091 02:05:08,520 --> 02:05:10,188 It's nice. 2092 02:05:11,521 --> 02:05:13,146 Peaceful. 2093 02:05:14,396 --> 02:05:17,354 My parents come here all the time. 2094 02:05:17,479 --> 02:05:20,688 We do picnics, like, every weekend. 2095 02:05:20,813 --> 02:05:23,688 Lots of gluten-free sandwiches. 2096 02:05:27,522 --> 02:05:29,564 It's helped them a lot, actually. 2097 02:05:30,980 --> 02:05:32,230 Having this. 2098 02:05:38,272 --> 02:05:39,939 What I did... 2099 02:05:41,814 --> 02:05:43,523 ...I can't even... 2100 02:05:47,690 --> 02:05:50,856 It's the worst thing anyone can do. 2101 02:05:58,191 --> 02:06:00,232 I wish we could have met now. 2102 02:06:01,982 --> 02:06:04,066 Today. 2103 02:06:04,191 --> 02:06:05,899 For the first time. 2104 02:06:06,857 --> 02:06:09,232 Me, too. 2105 02:06:13,607 --> 02:06:14,692 I should probably... 2106 02:06:14,817 --> 02:06:16,192 Yeah. Yeah, of course. 2107 02:06:16,317 --> 02:06:18,192 Of course. 2108 02:06:20,650 --> 02:06:22,317 Hey, can I just... 2109 02:06:23,358 --> 02:06:25,400 Can I just ask you... 2110 02:06:27,275 --> 02:06:28,942 Why did you want to meet here? 2111 02:06:35,234 --> 02:06:37,693 I wanted to be sure that you saw this. 2112 02:06:42,193 --> 02:06:44,651 He really loved it here. 2113 02:06:56,569 --> 02:06:58,610 ♪ ♪ 2114 02:07:00,610 --> 02:07:02,820 Dear Evan Hansen... 2115 02:07:04,195 --> 02:07:07,528 ...today is gonna be a good day, and here's why. 2116 02:07:08,778 --> 02:07:12,570 Because today, no matter what else, 2117 02:07:12,695 --> 02:07:15,153 today at least you're you. 2118 02:07:15,278 --> 02:07:16,736 No hiding, no lying. 2119 02:07:16,861 --> 02:07:18,821 And that's... 2120 02:07:18,946 --> 02:07:20,404 that's enough. 2121 02:07:20,529 --> 02:07:23,446 So no matter how hard it gets, 2122 02:07:23,571 --> 02:07:27,487 even if it feels... impossible, 2123 02:07:27,612 --> 02:07:29,487 this time you'll know. 2124 02:07:30,654 --> 02:07:32,862 Don't let go. 2125 02:07:32,987 --> 02:07:36,447 Just hold on and keep going. 2126 02:07:38,238 --> 02:07:39,738 Just keep going. 2127 02:07:39,863 --> 02:07:41,905 ♪ ♪ 2128 02:07:44,405 --> 02:07:53,406 ♪ Today, today ♪ 2129 02:07:53,531 --> 02:07:54,989 ♪ Today ♪ 2130 02:07:58,906 --> 02:08:05,614 ♪ It feels a little closer. ♪ 2131 02:08:08,574 --> 02:08:10,615 ♪ ♪ 2132 02:08:52,992 --> 02:08:57,202 ♪ Have you ever felt like nobody was there? ♪ 2133 02:08:59,077 --> 02:09:04,952 ♪ Have you ever felt forgotten in the middle of nowhere? ♪ 2134 02:09:05,077 --> 02:09:09,577 ♪ Have you ever felt like you could disappear? ♪ 2135 02:09:10,744 --> 02:09:13,411 ♪ Like you could fall ♪ 2136 02:09:13,536 --> 02:09:15,911 ♪ And no one would hear? ♪ 2137 02:09:17,286 --> 02:09:21,411 ♪ Well, let that lonely feeling wash away ♪ 2138 02:09:23,661 --> 02:09:29,204 ♪ Maybe there's a reason to believe you'll be okay ♪ 2139 02:09:29,329 --> 02:09:33,870 ♪ 'Cause when you don't feel strong enough to stand ♪ 2140 02:09:35,245 --> 02:09:37,412 ♪ You can reach ♪ 2141 02:09:37,537 --> 02:09:40,954 ♪ Reach out your hand ♪ 2142 02:09:41,079 --> 02:09:46,913 ♪ And, someone will come running ♪ 2143 02:09:47,038 --> 02:09:54,163 ♪ And I know they'll take you home ♪ 2144 02:09:54,288 --> 02:09:57,163 ♪ Even when the dark comes crashing through ♪ 2145 02:09:57,288 --> 02:10:00,331 ♪ When you need a friend to carry you ♪ 2146 02:10:00,456 --> 02:10:03,789 ♪ And when you're broken on the ground ♪ 2147 02:10:03,914 --> 02:10:06,372 ♪ You will be found ♪ 2148 02:10:06,497 --> 02:10:09,081 ♪ So let the sun come streaming in ♪ 2149 02:10:09,206 --> 02:10:12,539 ♪ 'Cause you'll reach up and you'll rise again ♪ 2150 02:10:12,664 --> 02:10:15,748 ♪ Lift your head and look around ♪ 2151 02:10:15,873 --> 02:10:20,998 ♪ You will be found ♪ 2152 02:10:21,957 --> 02:10:26,832 ♪ You will be found ♪ 2153 02:10:29,165 --> 02:10:33,958 ♪ There's a place where we don't have to feel unknown ♪ 2154 02:10:35,708 --> 02:10:38,166 ♪ And every time you call out ♪ 2155 02:10:38,291 --> 02:10:41,666 ♪ You're a little less alone ♪ 2156 02:10:41,791 --> 02:10:46,334 ♪ If you only say the word ♪ 2157 02:10:46,459 --> 02:10:50,584 ♪ From across the silence ♪ 2158 02:10:50,709 --> 02:10:55,667 ♪ Your voice is heard ♪ 2159 02:10:55,792 --> 02:10:58,709 ♪ Even when the dark comes crashing through ♪ 2160 02:10:58,834 --> 02:11:01,918 ♪ When you need a friend to carry you ♪ 2161 02:11:02,043 --> 02:11:05,376 ♪ And when you're broken on the ground ♪ 2162 02:11:05,501 --> 02:11:07,918 ♪ You will be found ♪ 2163 02:11:08,043 --> 02:11:10,460 ♪ So let the sun come streaming in ♪ 2164 02:11:10,585 --> 02:11:14,085 ♪ 'Cause you'll reach up and you'll rise again ♪ 2165 02:11:14,210 --> 02:11:17,460 ♪ Lift your head and look around ♪ 2166 02:11:17,586 --> 02:11:20,502 ♪ You will be found ♪ 2167 02:11:20,627 --> 02:11:29,419 ♪ You will be found, you will be found ♪ 2168 02:11:29,544 --> 02:11:32,502 ♪ You will be found ♪ 2169 02:11:32,627 --> 02:11:40,087 ♪ You will be found, you will be found ♪ 2170 02:11:43,087 --> 02:11:45,670 ♪ Out of the shadows ♪ 2171 02:11:45,795 --> 02:11:48,337 ♪ The morning is breaking ♪ 2172 02:11:48,462 --> 02:11:54,921 ♪ And all is new and all is new ♪ 2173 02:11:55,046 --> 02:11:57,879 ♪ It's filling up the empty ♪ 2174 02:11:58,004 --> 02:12:00,254 ♪ And suddenly I see ♪ 2175 02:12:00,379 --> 02:12:03,588 ♪ That all is new ♪ 2176 02:12:03,713 --> 02:12:07,839 ♪ All is new ♪ 2177 02:12:07,964 --> 02:12:11,089 ♪ Even when the dark comes crashing through ♪ 2178 02:12:11,214 --> 02:12:14,297 ♪ When you need a friend to carry you ♪ 2179 02:12:14,422 --> 02:12:17,922 ♪ And when you're broken on the ground ♪ 2180 02:12:18,047 --> 02:12:20,589 ♪ You will be found ♪ 2181 02:12:20,714 --> 02:12:23,506 ♪ So let the sun come streaming in ♪ 2182 02:12:23,631 --> 02:12:27,090 ♪ 'Cause you'll reach up and you'll rise again ♪ 2183 02:12:27,215 --> 02:12:30,631 ♪ Lift your head and look around ♪ 2184 02:12:30,756 --> 02:12:35,840 ♪ You will be found. ♪ 2185 02:12:53,007 --> 02:12:55,008 ♪ Ever look at all the people ♪ 2186 02:12:55,133 --> 02:12:58,217 ♪ Seem to know exactly how to be? ♪ 2187 02:12:58,342 --> 02:13:01,758 ♪ How to be, how to be now, how to be ♪ 2188 02:13:01,883 --> 02:13:05,592 ♪ You think, they don't need piles of prescriptions ♪ 2189 02:13:05,717 --> 02:13:08,175 ♪ To function naturally ♪ 2190 02:13:08,300 --> 02:13:12,051 ♪ Functioning natural ♪ 2191 02:13:12,176 --> 02:13:15,384 ♪ Take a look and you might just catch it ♪ 2192 02:13:15,509 --> 02:13:17,551 ♪ Stay a minute more ♪ 2193 02:13:17,676 --> 02:13:20,801 ♪ Minute more, minute more now, minute more ♪ 2194 02:13:20,926 --> 02:13:24,884 ♪ There's a little moment after the sunny smile ♪ 2195 02:13:25,009 --> 02:13:27,094 ♪ Their eyes fall to the floor ♪ 2196 02:13:27,219 --> 02:13:30,219 ♪ To the floor, to the floor now, to the floor ♪ 2197 02:13:30,344 --> 02:13:33,677 ♪ The truth starts peeking through ♪ 2198 02:13:33,802 --> 02:13:35,010 ♪ Peeking through ♪ 2199 02:13:35,135 --> 02:13:39,677 ♪ They're a lot like me and you ♪ 2200 02:13:39,802 --> 02:13:44,761 ♪ They can fake a smile, too ♪ 2201 02:13:47,511 --> 02:13:49,970 ♪ The anonymous ones ♪ 2202 02:13:50,095 --> 02:13:53,386 ♪ Never let you see the ache they carry ♪ 2203 02:13:53,511 --> 02:13:56,678 ♪ They carry, they carry, they carry ♪ 2204 02:13:56,803 --> 02:13:59,762 ♪ All those anonymous ones ♪ 2205 02:13:59,887 --> 02:14:03,137 ♪ Never name the quiet pain they bury ♪ 2206 02:14:03,262 --> 02:14:07,096 ♪ They bury, they bury, they bury ♪ 2207 02:14:07,221 --> 02:14:11,221 ♪ Keep on keeping secrets that they think they have to hide ♪ 2208 02:14:11,346 --> 02:14:16,013 ♪ What if everybody's secret is they have that secret side? ♪ 2209 02:14:16,138 --> 02:14:20,222 ♪ And to know, to know we're not alone ♪ 2210 02:14:20,347 --> 02:14:22,847 ♪ Is all we're hoping for ♪ 2211 02:14:24,055 --> 02:14:26,263 ♪ I don't wanna be anonymous ♪ 2212 02:14:26,388 --> 02:14:28,763 ♪ Why you gotta be anonymous? ♪ 2213 02:14:28,888 --> 02:14:32,139 ♪ I don't wanna be anonymous anymore ♪ 2214 02:14:39,848 --> 02:14:43,264 ♪ Anymore ♪ 2215 02:14:50,474 --> 02:14:52,765 ♪ Spot the girl who stays in motion ♪ 2216 02:14:52,890 --> 02:14:56,224 ♪ Spins so fast so she won't fall ♪ 2217 02:14:56,349 --> 02:15:00,057 ♪ World spins so fast, spins so fast ♪ 2218 02:15:00,182 --> 02:15:02,350 ♪ She's built a wall of her achievements ♪ 2219 02:15:02,475 --> 02:15:04,141 ♪ Keep out the question ♪ 2220 02:15:04,266 --> 02:15:08,850 ♪ Without it, is she worth anything at all? ♪ 2221 02:15:08,975 --> 02:15:13,391 ♪ And truth starts peeking through ♪ 2222 02:15:13,516 --> 02:15:18,226 ♪ They're a lot like me and you ♪ 2223 02:15:18,351 --> 02:15:23,309 ♪ They can fake a smile, too ♪ 2224 02:15:26,184 --> 02:15:28,559 ♪ The anonymous ones ♪ 2225 02:15:28,684 --> 02:15:31,892 ♪ Never let you see the ache they carry ♪ 2226 02:15:32,017 --> 02:15:35,102 ♪ They carry, they carry, they carry ♪ 2227 02:15:35,227 --> 02:15:38,268 ♪ All those anonymous ones ♪ 2228 02:15:38,393 --> 02:15:41,477 ♪ Never name the quiet pain they bury ♪ 2229 02:15:41,602 --> 02:15:45,477 ♪ They bury, they bury, they bury ♪ 2230 02:15:45,602 --> 02:15:47,893 ♪ I don't wanna be anonymous ♪ 2231 02:15:48,018 --> 02:15:50,436 ♪ Why you gotta be anonymous? ♪ 2232 02:15:50,561 --> 02:15:52,519 ♪ I don't wanna be anonymous anymore ♪ 2233 02:15:52,644 --> 02:15:54,894 ♪ The parts we can't tell, we carry them well ♪ 2234 02:15:55,019 --> 02:15:57,269 ♪ But that doesn't mean they're not heavy ♪ 2235 02:15:57,394 --> 02:15:59,728 ♪ The parts we can't tell, we carry them well ♪ 2236 02:15:59,853 --> 02:16:02,061 ♪ But that doesn't mean they're not heavy ♪ 2237 02:16:02,186 --> 02:16:04,436 ♪ The parts we can't tell, we carry them well ♪ 2238 02:16:04,561 --> 02:16:09,229 ♪ But that doesn't mean they're not heavy ♪ 2239 02:16:09,354 --> 02:16:11,687 ♪ Heavy ♪ 2240 02:16:11,812 --> 02:16:14,270 ♪ The anonymous ones ♪ 2241 02:16:14,395 --> 02:16:17,645 ♪ Never let you see the ache they carry ♪ 2242 02:16:17,770 --> 02:16:20,854 ♪ They carry, they carry, they carry ♪ 2243 02:16:20,979 --> 02:16:23,938 ♪ All the anonymous ones ♪ 2244 02:16:24,063 --> 02:16:29,105 ♪ Never name the quiet pain they bury ♪ 2245 02:16:31,271 --> 02:16:35,521 ♪ Keep on keeping secrets that they think they have to hide ♪ 2246 02:16:35,646 --> 02:16:40,147 ♪ What if everybody's secret is they have that secret side? ♪ 2247 02:16:40,272 --> 02:16:44,147 ♪ And to know, to know we're not alone ♪ 2248 02:16:44,272 --> 02:16:47,939 ♪ Is all we're hoping for ♪ 2249 02:16:48,064 --> 02:16:50,314 ♪ I don't wanna be anonymous ♪ 2250 02:16:50,439 --> 02:16:52,856 ♪ Why you gotta be anonymous? ♪ 2251 02:16:52,981 --> 02:16:56,773 ♪ I don't wanna be anonymous anymore. ♪ 163445