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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:04,796 --> 00:00:17,976 ♪♪ 2 00:00:18,059 --> 00:00:21,187 -Can't blame this one on the wind-chill factor, Hammersmith. 3 00:00:21,271 --> 00:00:22,731 I'm calling this in. 4 00:00:22,814 --> 00:00:26,776 ♪♪ 5 00:00:26,860 --> 00:00:30,113 -[ Sniffs ] 6 00:00:30,196 --> 00:00:31,531 Chick-O-Stick. 7 00:00:31,614 --> 00:00:33,491 No me digas. 8 00:00:33,575 --> 00:00:37,120 -We got another Jamal Sanchez. 9 00:00:37,203 --> 00:00:41,458 Looks like Dino's playing a game of, uh, cat-and-mouse. 10 00:00:41,541 --> 00:00:44,294 -Only question is, are we the gato, 11 00:00:44,377 --> 00:00:47,297 or are we the... 12 00:00:47,380 --> 00:00:48,923 uh... 13 00:00:49,007 --> 00:00:50,383 Shit. I'm sorry. Can we cut? 14 00:00:50,467 --> 00:00:53,094 I just -- I can see this guy's sweating. 15 00:00:53,178 --> 00:00:55,013 -I'm sorry. Is it me? 16 00:00:55,096 --> 00:00:57,182 -No. No, no, no, no, no. No, you're fine, man. 17 00:00:57,265 --> 00:00:58,683 You guys are great. You guys are -- 18 00:00:58,767 --> 00:00:59,809 I'm vibing off everything you guys are giving me. 19 00:00:59,893 --> 00:01:00,977 -Cool, cool, cool, cool, cool. 20 00:01:01,060 --> 00:01:02,145 -No. It's makeup's fault, you know? 21 00:01:02,228 --> 00:01:03,855 It's wardrobe. It's scheduling. 22 00:01:03,938 --> 00:01:05,190 It's fucking locations. 23 00:01:05,272 --> 00:01:08,359 It's fucking this fucking guy. Would you mind?! 24 00:01:08,443 --> 00:01:10,987 -It's a single on you, Pat. 25 00:01:11,070 --> 00:01:13,448 They can't see the sweat. -Okay. 26 00:01:13,531 --> 00:01:14,949 -Your brains look awesome, by the way. 27 00:01:15,033 --> 00:01:16,326 -But I can see it. -Really? 28 00:01:16,409 --> 00:01:17,786 I thought they were a little more ooze-tastic 29 00:01:17,869 --> 00:01:19,454 in the first take. -My character can see it. 30 00:01:19,537 --> 00:01:21,039 -Your character. Yeah. 31 00:01:21,122 --> 00:01:23,333 -And Detective Hammersmith cannot solve crime in a world 32 00:01:23,416 --> 00:01:24,876 that does not depend on logic! 33 00:01:24,959 --> 00:01:27,170 -Cut! Cut! -Great, it's fuckin' me again. 34 00:01:27,253 --> 00:01:28,505 Okay. -Fucking guy. 35 00:01:28,588 --> 00:01:30,590 -Okay, so, my girl Bren-Bren up here shooting. 36 00:01:30,673 --> 00:01:32,091 -Right, right, right. -I'mma just run in real quick 37 00:01:32,175 --> 00:01:33,468 and say hey. -Nah, it's fine. 38 00:01:33,551 --> 00:01:34,886 Let's definitely take time away from duty 39 00:01:34,969 --> 00:01:37,388 so you can visit your celebrity friend at work. 40 00:01:37,472 --> 00:01:40,141 [British accent] You know, just pop on over for a chat, innit? 41 00:01:40,225 --> 00:01:42,060 Have some tea and stromp-- crompets. 42 00:01:42,143 --> 00:01:43,603 -Stop. -Strumpets? 43 00:01:43,686 --> 00:01:45,522 -Look. They got free food. -[ Normal voice ] Oh, yeah? 44 00:01:45,605 --> 00:01:46,815 -Good-ass food. -Yeah? 45 00:01:46,898 --> 00:01:48,066 -Yeah. You ever tried hamantaschen? 46 00:01:48,149 --> 00:01:49,192 -Never even heard of hamantaschen. 47 00:01:49,275 --> 00:01:50,527 -Exactly. Yes. -Sounds good. 48 00:01:50,610 --> 00:01:52,070 Hey, 10 minutes, right? -Yeah, yeah. 49 00:01:52,153 --> 00:01:53,613 -Hey. So, I'm not doing another interview, 50 00:01:53,696 --> 00:01:55,490 so you might as well just hang up. 51 00:01:55,573 --> 00:01:57,617 Hang up. Mm-hmm. -Sides. 52 00:01:57,700 --> 00:01:59,744 -You fired, skank! 53 00:01:59,828 --> 00:02:02,038 -What? -I'm just playin'. 54 00:02:03,790 --> 00:02:07,043 She always cryin', but I always just be playin'. 55 00:02:07,126 --> 00:02:08,211 -Mm-hmm. 56 00:02:08,294 --> 00:02:10,045 -Oh, wait, is that that new Off-White? 57 00:02:10,128 --> 00:02:11,464 -Um, I don't know. Probably. 58 00:02:11,548 --> 00:02:12,882 -Do you mind if I just take -- Okay. 59 00:02:12,966 --> 00:02:14,259 -Yeah, there's a bunch of stuff over there. 60 00:02:14,342 --> 00:02:16,386 Help yourself. 61 00:02:16,469 --> 00:02:17,887 -Yo. Yes. 62 00:02:17,971 --> 00:02:19,514 This is that Virgil. 63 00:02:19,597 --> 00:02:21,558 Damn, Brenda, you living living. 64 00:02:21,641 --> 00:02:23,309 No, no, no. Fuck living. 65 00:02:23,393 --> 00:02:24,602 You out here thriving. 66 00:02:24,686 --> 00:02:26,104 -Uh-huh. Hey, Amy. 67 00:02:26,187 --> 00:02:28,147 Can you go make her some of that caramelized bacon? 68 00:02:28,231 --> 00:02:30,149 And sprinkle some of that protein powder on that for her. 69 00:02:30,233 --> 00:02:31,860 For the glutes. Yeah. 70 00:02:31,943 --> 00:02:35,029 Actually, everybody, can we have the room, please? 71 00:02:35,113 --> 00:02:36,114 Thank you! 72 00:02:36,197 --> 00:02:37,866 -Okay. -Yeah. 73 00:02:37,949 --> 00:02:39,993 -Except Rukey. You can stay. 74 00:02:40,076 --> 00:02:41,161 -Stunt bae. 75 00:02:41,244 --> 00:02:44,330 Are my dogs good? Is there a problem? 76 00:02:44,414 --> 00:02:46,749 -Oh, no, no, no. I'm sorry. 77 00:02:46,833 --> 00:02:48,585 I was just, nah -- I'm here for you. 78 00:02:48,668 --> 00:02:50,253 And your dogs. They're good. 79 00:02:50,336 --> 00:02:51,546 -Great. Great. 80 00:02:51,629 --> 00:02:53,298 So, after you get them... -Mm-hmm? 81 00:02:53,381 --> 00:02:56,593 -...um, can you stop by my place and screw in my new shower head? 82 00:02:56,676 --> 00:02:59,596 Um, but can you first go buy me a new shower head? 83 00:02:59,679 --> 00:03:01,931 'Cause I'm not gonna do it. -Of course. 84 00:03:02,015 --> 00:03:03,391 -Yeah. Thank you. 85 00:03:03,474 --> 00:03:04,934 [ Knock on door ] 86 00:03:05,018 --> 00:03:06,811 -Hey, girl, it's Olivia again. 87 00:03:06,895 --> 00:03:08,938 -They always send her to deal with me. 88 00:03:09,022 --> 00:03:10,273 They're smart. 89 00:03:10,356 --> 00:03:11,733 She was actually too old to even get this job. 90 00:03:11,816 --> 00:03:14,986 But they needed somebody I wouldn't cuss out. 91 00:03:15,069 --> 00:03:17,614 So they hired a Black lady. Assholes. 92 00:03:17,697 --> 00:03:20,283 [ Knock on door ] -You gon' get that? 93 00:03:20,366 --> 00:03:23,453 -Hey. I got an idea. 94 00:03:23,536 --> 00:03:24,746 -What? 95 00:03:24,829 --> 00:03:26,915 -Hey, Rukey, can you put your earbuds in, please? 96 00:03:26,998 --> 00:03:30,668 Thank you. -Is she -- she really doing it? 97 00:03:30,752 --> 00:03:32,462 That's crazy. -Yeah. She cool. 98 00:03:32,545 --> 00:03:34,797 You good? Okay. 99 00:03:34,881 --> 00:03:36,174 Um, let's ditch set. 100 00:03:36,257 --> 00:03:37,842 I'm trying to be out in the world today. 101 00:03:37,926 --> 00:03:40,386 -Why? Why would you want to leave? 102 00:03:40,470 --> 00:03:42,805 Everything is so much better and richer in here. 103 00:03:42,889 --> 00:03:44,349 -Oh! -Moshi moshi! 104 00:03:44,432 --> 00:03:45,808 -Japanese toilet? 105 00:03:45,892 --> 00:03:47,977 Now, if a man used one of those, 106 00:03:48,061 --> 00:03:52,023 yeah, I could see eating his booty hole. 107 00:03:52,106 --> 00:03:55,693 -Girl, I feel like the walls are closing in on me today 108 00:03:55,777 --> 00:03:57,946 and I'm going a little stir crazy. 109 00:03:58,029 --> 00:04:00,698 And I'm suffocating, okay? 110 00:04:00,782 --> 00:04:02,367 Can't you ditch work for a few hours? 111 00:04:02,450 --> 00:04:04,661 Like, we never get to hang out. 112 00:04:04,744 --> 00:04:07,413 I know you want to. We gonna go have a good time. 113 00:04:07,497 --> 00:04:09,332 We gon' kick it. We gon' hang out. 114 00:04:09,415 --> 00:04:12,502 Who you textin'? -My partner. 115 00:04:12,585 --> 00:04:16,214 "Gotta bounce. My eye is loose." 116 00:04:16,297 --> 00:04:18,048 Alright, bitch. Let's mount up. 117 00:04:18,132 --> 00:04:20,385 -Yeah! Hey. 118 00:04:20,468 --> 00:04:22,679 You can take 'em out. 119 00:04:22,762 --> 00:04:25,598 So, you probably think that I'm really spoiled, right? 120 00:04:25,682 --> 00:04:30,186 But I worked my ass off to get to where I am, and I need this. 121 00:04:30,269 --> 00:04:32,855 I need a break. 122 00:04:32,939 --> 00:04:34,774 And plus? 123 00:04:34,857 --> 00:04:37,110 It's been like a whole week since I pushed any boundaries. 124 00:04:41,531 --> 00:04:44,075 Okay, cute bob. I see you. 125 00:04:44,158 --> 00:04:45,702 Girl, you can borrow my wigs any day. 126 00:04:45,785 --> 00:04:46,953 You look good. 127 00:04:47,036 --> 00:04:49,247 -Thank you! Let's get it. 128 00:04:49,330 --> 00:04:51,541 Operation: Bad Bitches Take the Streets. 129 00:04:51,624 --> 00:04:54,043 -They won't even know we gone. -Ha! 130 00:04:54,127 --> 00:05:12,186 ♪♪ 131 00:05:12,270 --> 00:05:14,897 [ Engine starts ] 132 00:05:16,482 --> 00:05:18,359 -♪ I was born on the South Side ♪ 133 00:05:18,443 --> 00:05:19,944 ♪ I was raised on the South Side ♪ 134 00:05:20,028 --> 00:05:21,654 ♪ Everybody stick together like we in a line ♪ 135 00:05:21,738 --> 00:05:23,614 ♪ 'Cause it ain't no side like the South Side ♪ 136 00:05:23,698 --> 00:05:24,866 ♪ On the South Side ♪ 137 00:05:24,949 --> 00:05:26,868 ♪ South Side! ♪ 138 00:05:26,951 --> 00:05:28,119 -What is that, Devo? 139 00:05:28,202 --> 00:05:30,413 -No, I think it's Art Of Noise. 140 00:05:30,496 --> 00:05:31,873 -It was Yello. 141 00:05:31,956 --> 00:05:34,250 -Ohh, yeah! -Ohh, yeah! 142 00:05:34,334 --> 00:05:35,793 -You know, I started as an extra. 143 00:05:35,877 --> 00:05:37,920 I got nothin' but respect for you guys. 144 00:05:38,004 --> 00:05:39,213 -Really? 145 00:05:39,297 --> 00:05:40,465 -You guys doin' all the Chicago shows? 146 00:05:40,548 --> 00:05:42,050 You doin' "EMT"? You doin' "Urgent Care"? 147 00:05:42,133 --> 00:05:43,760 You doin' "Irish and Angry"? 148 00:05:43,843 --> 00:05:45,011 -I gotta be honest with you, Pat. 149 00:05:45,094 --> 00:05:46,637 We don't know any of those shows. 150 00:05:46,721 --> 00:05:48,723 -Yeah, we work shitty day jobs, but we got big dreams. 151 00:05:48,806 --> 00:05:50,058 -Plus, the acting industry 152 00:05:50,141 --> 00:05:51,434 is the only one that can't be automated. 153 00:05:51,517 --> 00:05:52,769 So we're doin' a little bit of recon. 154 00:05:52,852 --> 00:05:54,812 -Whoa, buddy. You have no idea. 155 00:05:54,896 --> 00:05:56,147 Computers nowadays, man? 156 00:05:56,230 --> 00:05:58,274 No, next season, I could be replaced by some dude 157 00:05:58,357 --> 00:06:00,651 in a black Lycra suit covered in Ping-Pong balls. 158 00:06:00,735 --> 00:06:02,612 I've seen it. -Are we gonna shoot soon? 159 00:06:02,695 --> 00:06:04,447 I don't wanna fall out of character. 160 00:06:04,530 --> 00:06:05,656 -Oh, I have no idea. 161 00:06:05,740 --> 00:06:08,826 We're still on a "Brenda Break." 162 00:06:08,910 --> 00:06:10,369 After she locks that trailer door, 163 00:06:10,453 --> 00:06:11,871 it could be anywhere from 10 minutes to 2 hours. 164 00:06:11,954 --> 00:06:14,665 So I-I'd say smoke 'em if you got 'em, you know? 165 00:06:14,749 --> 00:06:16,000 -He said smoke 'em. 166 00:06:16,084 --> 00:06:18,461 Hey, you think he's cool? -He -- He seems like it. 167 00:06:18,544 --> 00:06:22,799 -I hope we do this soon. -You know, you're good, man. 168 00:06:24,926 --> 00:06:26,344 You know, I think you know this character. 169 00:06:26,427 --> 00:06:27,970 It's like it's -- It's like it's in you. 170 00:06:28,054 --> 00:06:30,973 -It's not just that. 171 00:06:31,057 --> 00:06:34,727 My novel is being read at a book club today. 172 00:06:34,811 --> 00:06:37,063 -You're an actor and a writer? 173 00:06:37,146 --> 00:06:39,774 Ooh, we got ourselves a regular Eric Bogosian, here. 174 00:06:39,857 --> 00:06:41,109 -Love that guy. 175 00:06:41,192 --> 00:06:42,860 He played Travis Dane in "Under Siege 2." 176 00:06:42,944 --> 00:06:44,070 -I just read the book. 177 00:06:44,153 --> 00:06:45,363 -You guys are "Siege" heads? -Yeah. 178 00:06:45,446 --> 00:06:47,323 -Yeah. -Oh, that's fuckin' it. 179 00:06:47,406 --> 00:06:48,950 Okay, you know what your friend Pat's gonna do. 180 00:06:49,033 --> 00:06:52,453 Pat's gonna make book club happen here. 181 00:06:52,537 --> 00:06:53,788 -For real? 182 00:06:53,871 --> 00:06:54,997 -Awesome. -Fozzie? 183 00:06:55,081 --> 00:06:57,917 -That's love. -Yeah. 184 00:06:58,000 --> 00:07:00,336 I have one right here. 185 00:07:00,419 --> 00:07:02,255 -♪ On the beat ♪ 186 00:07:02,338 --> 00:07:03,464 ♪ I'm lovin' it ♪ 187 00:07:03,548 --> 00:07:13,349 ♪♪ 188 00:07:13,432 --> 00:07:16,853 -I feel like I just don't really, like, look up. 189 00:07:16,936 --> 00:07:19,564 Oh, my God, that's so cute! 190 00:07:19,647 --> 00:07:26,529 ♪♪ 191 00:07:26,612 --> 00:07:27,905 -Hey, man. 192 00:07:27,989 --> 00:07:30,324 Hey, do you guys have any Parmesan cheese back there? 193 00:07:30,408 --> 00:07:32,034 I'll take the -- the big flake version if you have it. 194 00:07:32,118 --> 00:07:33,578 It's kind of more classic. Oh! 195 00:07:33,661 --> 00:07:34,996 Ooh, hey, hey, let me get some of that Reynolds Wrap. 196 00:07:35,079 --> 00:07:36,539 Yeah, that's right -- One sec. One sec. 197 00:07:36,622 --> 00:07:38,624 -Put that slice down. Where is your partner? 198 00:07:38,708 --> 00:07:40,168 I know they're together. 199 00:07:40,251 --> 00:07:42,044 They gon' fire me if I don't find her. 200 00:07:42,128 --> 00:07:43,963 Put the slice down! -Oh, sorry. 201 00:07:44,046 --> 00:07:46,340 Uh, hi? Alessandro Goodnight. Can I help you? 202 00:07:46,424 --> 00:07:49,177 -Olivia. I'm a P.A. -You're a P.A.? 203 00:07:49,260 --> 00:07:50,511 -Yeah. -Oh. 204 00:07:50,595 --> 00:07:52,263 I thought P.A.s were usually kind of on the -- 205 00:07:52,346 --> 00:07:54,640 you know, fresh out of college, kind of a younger-y kind of -- 206 00:07:54,724 --> 00:07:56,601 I mean, you seem like you've lived. That's all. 207 00:07:56,684 --> 00:07:58,352 -Okay, well, I'm a late bloomer. Get off my dick! 208 00:07:58,436 --> 00:07:59,645 -Oh, sorry. Getting off your dick. 209 00:07:59,729 --> 00:08:01,314 And I'm off of it. Can I help you? 210 00:08:01,397 --> 00:08:02,815 -Where's your motherfucking partner? 211 00:08:02,899 --> 00:08:05,484 -Right, yeah. Let me -- Just one second here. 212 00:08:05,568 --> 00:08:07,195 Let's see what we got going here. 213 00:08:07,278 --> 00:08:09,739 I'mma check the old Samsung Galaxy 8, see if she's, uh... 214 00:08:09,822 --> 00:08:11,240 Oh, you know what? She texted me. 215 00:08:11,324 --> 00:08:12,950 We got our first clue. Let's see what it says. 216 00:08:13,034 --> 00:08:16,287 Uh, "Had to bounce. My eye is loose." 217 00:08:16,370 --> 00:08:17,580 Wow. 218 00:08:17,663 --> 00:08:19,165 She has no respect for my intelligence. 219 00:08:19,248 --> 00:08:21,250 Like, none. You know, every time I think to myself, 220 00:08:21,334 --> 00:08:25,463 "Can I still be offended by that...monster?" 221 00:08:25,546 --> 00:08:27,215 She's a -- She's a monster. -So's Brenda. 222 00:08:27,298 --> 00:08:29,884 Everybody on the show is her personal assistant. 223 00:08:29,967 --> 00:08:32,720 Man. I think they ditched set. 224 00:08:32,803 --> 00:08:34,554 -Yup, yup, just Googled it. 225 00:08:34,639 --> 00:08:37,433 Loose eyeball. Zero entries. 226 00:08:37,515 --> 00:08:38,768 Okay, you know what? 227 00:08:38,851 --> 00:08:40,352 Let's find them. Can you leave? 228 00:08:40,436 --> 00:08:41,770 -Yeah, but can you drive? 229 00:08:41,854 --> 00:08:43,188 -Yeah, I got my driver's license when I was like 15. 230 00:08:43,272 --> 00:08:44,565 Come on. -Okay, cool. 231 00:08:44,649 --> 00:08:45,942 Look, I know about five places she could go. 232 00:08:46,025 --> 00:08:48,611 -Let's go. 233 00:08:48,694 --> 00:08:50,988 [ Crowd cheering ] 234 00:08:53,991 --> 00:08:55,952 -Beulah? 235 00:08:56,035 --> 00:08:58,412 Beulah? 236 00:08:58,496 --> 00:09:01,207 Somebody named Beulah order a sock full of fries? 237 00:09:02,667 --> 00:09:04,627 I know. It ain't right. 238 00:09:04,710 --> 00:09:06,879 They don't fill 'em up like they used to. 239 00:09:06,963 --> 00:09:10,132 Used to be you could get fries all the way down into the toes. 240 00:09:10,216 --> 00:09:11,592 Mm. 241 00:09:11,676 --> 00:09:14,220 -See you later, girl. -Turner! 242 00:09:14,303 --> 00:09:16,347 Sergeant Turner! 243 00:09:16,430 --> 00:09:19,475 You out here serving the people, girl?! 244 00:09:19,558 --> 00:09:20,685 -Shh, shh, shh, shh, shh! Shh! 245 00:09:20,768 --> 00:09:23,771 -Hey, Turner! -Hey. 246 00:09:23,854 --> 00:09:25,815 Oh, uh, Keisha, this my girl, Brenda. 247 00:09:25,898 --> 00:09:27,108 -What up, Keisha? 248 00:09:27,191 --> 00:09:30,236 -You Brenda Cole?! 249 00:09:30,319 --> 00:09:31,279 "Chicago Shields"! 250 00:09:31,362 --> 00:09:32,697 Hey, Nene! Hey, Nene! 251 00:09:32,780 --> 00:09:34,323 -Keisha, shut the fuck up. -Okay. Never mind, Nene. 252 00:09:34,407 --> 00:09:36,826 -No. No, thank you, Nene. Damn, Keisha. 253 00:09:36,909 --> 00:09:37,827 -Hey. -Hey. 254 00:09:37,910 --> 00:09:40,162 -Hi. My name is Keisha. 255 00:09:40,246 --> 00:09:41,872 Keisha Cole. 256 00:09:41,956 --> 00:09:43,874 I'm just kiddin'. -Calm down, Thirsty. 257 00:09:43,958 --> 00:09:45,543 -I understand. You right. My bad. 258 00:09:45,626 --> 00:09:47,003 -Thank you. 259 00:09:47,086 --> 00:09:49,505 -What y'all doing up here? -Oh, um, well, you know... 260 00:09:49,588 --> 00:09:50,840 -Chillin'. 261 00:09:50,923 --> 00:09:52,216 -...me and Brenda, we just taking the day off. 262 00:09:52,300 --> 00:09:53,676 Doing hoodrat things with our friends. 263 00:09:53,759 --> 00:09:55,094 Gang gang. -Gang gang. 264 00:09:55,177 --> 00:09:56,679 -Dang. I am so jealous. 265 00:09:56,762 --> 00:09:59,265 -Keisha, we're gettin' backed up on Sox fries. 266 00:10:02,351 --> 00:10:05,021 -And, um -- And that's why we, um -- 267 00:10:05,104 --> 00:10:07,732 -She and I -- -That's why we came here, 268 00:10:07,815 --> 00:10:10,526 to tell you -- you, 269 00:10:10,609 --> 00:10:12,069 Big Momma died, girl. 270 00:10:12,153 --> 00:10:13,362 It was so sudden. 271 00:10:13,446 --> 00:10:14,697 So, unfortunately, you gotta come with us 272 00:10:14,780 --> 00:10:16,449 right now to identify this body. 273 00:10:16,532 --> 00:10:18,117 -They had shot her up real bad. 274 00:10:18,200 --> 00:10:19,493 -Real bad. Arms. 275 00:10:19,577 --> 00:10:23,164 -Swiss cheese. -Man, this city is savage. 276 00:10:23,247 --> 00:10:26,042 If it's a choice between grief and nothingness, 277 00:10:26,125 --> 00:10:27,293 then I choose grief. -Mm. 278 00:10:27,376 --> 00:10:29,003 -Mm. -You're a beautiful man, boss. 279 00:10:29,086 --> 00:10:31,380 Thank you for your warmth and compassion. 280 00:10:36,302 --> 00:10:37,345 -K-Keisha? 281 00:10:37,428 --> 00:10:38,637 Y'all got it? -Yeah, we got it. 282 00:10:38,721 --> 00:10:40,181 We gon' take care of her, okay? 283 00:10:40,264 --> 00:10:42,558 We gon' take care of her. -Oh, Brenda, you so pretty. 284 00:10:42,641 --> 00:10:45,686 -Fuck it up, fuck it up, fuck it up. 285 00:10:45,770 --> 00:10:48,397 -So, that's how that family does it? 286 00:10:48,481 --> 00:10:50,524 Respect. Next! 287 00:10:52,985 --> 00:10:54,570 -Thank y'all for coming to book club. 288 00:10:54,653 --> 00:10:59,325 Today's book -- "Web of Stars, Saga One, Quantum Tunnel." 289 00:10:59,408 --> 00:11:02,078 A story about Shaheer, a lonely space miner 290 00:11:02,161 --> 00:11:03,788 stuck on a dead-end rock 291 00:11:03,871 --> 00:11:06,248 with dreams of being a hero one day. 292 00:11:09,877 --> 00:11:11,087 -Thank you, Bluto. 293 00:11:11,170 --> 00:11:14,298 This is from Chapter 2, "The Quickening." 294 00:11:14,382 --> 00:11:16,133 "You've got to shut down those vents!" 295 00:11:16,217 --> 00:11:18,803 Karin shouted from her vox implants. 296 00:11:18,886 --> 00:11:21,889 Shaheer stared at the neophosphorescent plasma 297 00:11:21,972 --> 00:11:24,016 leaking all over the concourse. 298 00:11:24,100 --> 00:11:25,476 And then he froze. 299 00:11:25,559 --> 00:11:29,230 Froze like a goddamn megalovore in a hydro-glacier. 300 00:11:29,313 --> 00:11:31,273 But then he got unfrozen. 301 00:11:31,357 --> 00:11:32,608 He got to work. 302 00:11:32,692 --> 00:11:35,444 -Bars! 303 00:11:35,528 --> 00:11:37,947 -Hearing your voice do it brought the whole thing to life. 304 00:11:38,030 --> 00:11:40,282 I could actually see the space leeches. 305 00:11:40,366 --> 00:11:43,327 I could feel them sucking on my back. 306 00:11:43,411 --> 00:11:44,537 Their tendrils tickle. 307 00:11:44,620 --> 00:11:45,996 -Let me just go ahead and dive in. 308 00:11:46,080 --> 00:11:47,748 I didn't like Shaheer's "sub-human" 309 00:11:47,832 --> 00:11:49,291 identical doppelganger. 310 00:11:49,375 --> 00:11:51,460 I mean, he's evil, he's ugly, his girlfriend 311 00:11:51,544 --> 00:11:53,462 is deeply unhappy with his penis. 312 00:11:53,546 --> 00:11:56,340 Every fight he gets in to, he gets the "green shit" 313 00:11:56,424 --> 00:11:57,842 beat out of him. 314 00:11:57,925 --> 00:11:59,385 A good villain is supposed to be the hero of his own story, 315 00:11:59,468 --> 00:12:01,637 but this guy is a disappointment to himself. 316 00:12:01,721 --> 00:12:05,558 I mean, his catchphrase is, "Why am I so wack?" 317 00:12:05,641 --> 00:12:07,017 -Yeah. It's like -- It's like the book 318 00:12:07,101 --> 00:12:08,978 was really trying for something cool, 319 00:12:09,061 --> 00:12:10,646 and I-I was rooting for it. 320 00:12:10,729 --> 00:12:12,982 I was rooting for it to get there, to get there, like... 321 00:12:13,065 --> 00:12:15,651 It just -- It just never got there for me. 322 00:12:15,734 --> 00:12:18,404 -It's okay. This is my first major novel, 323 00:12:18,487 --> 00:12:20,698 and I'm open to constructive criticism. 324 00:12:20,781 --> 00:12:22,992 Steel sharpens steel. -This is my third read. 325 00:12:23,075 --> 00:12:24,827 I'm -- I'm still seeing new colors. 326 00:12:24,910 --> 00:12:26,620 Like, I didn't realize till just now 327 00:12:26,704 --> 00:12:28,873 that it's the Dyson Sphere on Blake's World 328 00:12:28,956 --> 00:12:30,916 that's powering the tremor grenades. 329 00:12:31,000 --> 00:12:33,210 -Dude! -Dude, those tremor grenades? 330 00:12:33,294 --> 00:12:34,587 So good. 331 00:12:34,670 --> 00:12:35,838 -Hey, babies, you look amazing. 332 00:12:35,921 --> 00:12:37,298 Get on in there, okay? 333 00:12:37,381 --> 00:12:40,134 -That's cute, though. 334 00:12:40,217 --> 00:12:41,469 -Hi. 335 00:12:41,552 --> 00:12:43,220 We'd like a table for three, please. 336 00:12:43,304 --> 00:12:44,597 -Oh, we're a members-only club. 337 00:12:44,680 --> 00:12:45,848 -Oh, you must not know who this is. 338 00:12:45,931 --> 00:12:47,183 -He must not. He must not. 339 00:12:47,266 --> 00:12:48,225 -At all. -Mnh-mnh. 340 00:12:48,309 --> 00:12:50,644 -Mnh-mnh. -'Cause this is Sia. 341 00:12:50,728 --> 00:12:53,022 -Ha! -Mm-hmm. Yep. 342 00:12:53,105 --> 00:12:55,816 -Um, so, no disrespect, Miss Sox Sausages, 343 00:12:55,900 --> 00:12:57,693 but I'm afraid it is not. 344 00:12:57,776 --> 00:13:00,154 -Who is your manager? -Well, Lisa is on break. 345 00:13:00,237 --> 00:13:02,364 I can help you. But I don't have to help you 346 00:13:02,448 --> 00:13:04,158 because that is obviously not Sia. 347 00:13:04,241 --> 00:13:05,242 -What? -This ain't Sia? 348 00:13:05,326 --> 00:13:06,577 -No. -Who is it then? 349 00:13:06,660 --> 00:13:08,537 -Well, Sia is Caucasian, first of all. 350 00:13:08,621 --> 00:13:10,623 -Mm. They still spreading those white lies? 351 00:13:10,706 --> 00:13:12,166 -White lies. -You know what? 352 00:13:12,249 --> 00:13:15,711 -Here you go, ma'am. -I can't -- I can't see that. 353 00:13:15,794 --> 00:13:17,046 -What?! -Oh, hey, Tiffany. 354 00:13:17,129 --> 00:13:18,380 New hair, don't care. Yes, gawd. 355 00:13:18,464 --> 00:13:19,840 -Bring it down. Listen. 356 00:13:19,924 --> 00:13:21,217 You just one of them people that believe 357 00:13:21,300 --> 00:13:22,551 anything you see on the Internet, huh? 358 00:13:22,635 --> 00:13:23,719 -Absolutely, yes. 359 00:13:23,802 --> 00:13:25,513 -Well, it's all part of our ruse, sir. 360 00:13:25,596 --> 00:13:26,889 -Mm-hmm. 361 00:13:26,972 --> 00:13:29,183 -It took us six years to find the most perfect, basic, 362 00:13:29,266 --> 00:13:30,768 average-looking white lady. 363 00:13:30,851 --> 00:13:32,937 Her real name's actually Sarah, and she's a nice chick, 364 00:13:33,020 --> 00:13:35,397 but Sia is not white, okay? -Mnh-mnh. 365 00:13:35,481 --> 00:13:36,982 -Do you listen to her music? 366 00:13:37,066 --> 00:13:39,109 That is the voice of a powerful 367 00:13:39,193 --> 00:13:41,737 and strong, soulful Black woman. 368 00:13:41,820 --> 00:13:43,155 [ Telephone rings ] -I need a sec. Thank you. [ Telephone rings ] 369 00:13:43,239 --> 00:13:44,448 -Take two, take two. 370 00:13:44,532 --> 00:13:45,950 -Sosi House. How can I help you? 371 00:13:46,033 --> 00:13:47,535 -Hello. This is Russell. 372 00:13:47,618 --> 00:13:49,245 I need to speak to Lisa immediately. 373 00:13:49,328 --> 00:13:51,121 It's urgent. -Oh, well, Lisa's on break. 374 00:13:51,205 --> 00:13:52,665 I can help you, though. -You don't get it. 375 00:13:52,748 --> 00:13:55,543 Fuck! Okay? Just listen. 376 00:13:55,626 --> 00:13:58,504 I am the assistant to Kate Furler. 377 00:13:58,587 --> 00:13:59,880 You may know her by her stage name. 378 00:13:59,964 --> 00:14:01,298 It's Sia. She's on her way 379 00:14:01,382 --> 00:14:03,759 to you right now, and she's very temperamental. 380 00:14:03,842 --> 00:14:05,010 -Okay, well, in that case, 381 00:14:05,094 --> 00:14:06,595 we'll be happy to accommodate her. 382 00:14:06,679 --> 00:14:09,098 Um, just so that I can locate her immediately, 383 00:14:09,181 --> 00:14:11,100 could please you describe her for me? 384 00:14:11,183 --> 00:14:14,853 -Sure, but keep it on the low, but she Black. 385 00:14:14,937 --> 00:14:16,772 Light-skinned but definitely Black. 386 00:14:16,855 --> 00:14:19,942 Blonde bob, see-through booty-out jumpsuit. 387 00:14:20,025 --> 00:14:21,777 -Uh, thank you so much, Russell. 388 00:14:24,238 --> 00:14:26,949 -This here is one of Brenda's spots. 389 00:14:27,032 --> 00:14:28,200 -Yeah? -Sia! 390 00:14:28,284 --> 00:14:29,577 I am so sorry for the mix-up. -Are you? 391 00:14:29,660 --> 00:14:31,245 -We're gonna give you our best table. 392 00:14:31,328 --> 00:14:33,163 Uh, Marcus? -Marcus? Unh-unh. 393 00:14:33,247 --> 00:14:34,456 -Uh, what name would you like him to have? 394 00:14:34,540 --> 00:14:35,874 -Matthew. 395 00:14:35,958 --> 00:14:37,459 -Marcus, your name is Matthew now. Get them a table. 396 00:14:37,543 --> 00:14:38,627 -Yeah. -I'm so sorry. 397 00:14:38,711 --> 00:14:40,254 -And we order two sets of wings. 398 00:14:40,337 --> 00:14:42,548 -Absolutely, yes. -Lemon pepper side. 399 00:14:42,631 --> 00:14:44,091 -"Cheap Thrills" was my shit, girl! 400 00:14:44,174 --> 00:14:45,884 -Thank God I paid the meter just in time, I think! 401 00:14:45,968 --> 00:14:47,886 $12 for 8 minutes? -Shit. 402 00:14:47,970 --> 00:14:49,138 -This is one of Brenda's spots. 403 00:14:49,221 --> 00:14:51,307 -Great. -Oh, no, wait, wait, wait. 404 00:14:51,390 --> 00:14:53,309 It's members only, and I'm not a member. 405 00:14:53,392 --> 00:14:56,478 -I'm a cop. I'm a member of everything. 406 00:14:56,562 --> 00:14:59,481 Hey, hey! 407 00:14:59,565 --> 00:15:01,442 Uh, I need to get in here right now. 408 00:15:01,525 --> 00:15:03,736 -Okay, do you have a -- a warrant? 409 00:15:03,819 --> 00:15:06,238 -Ha, warrant. That's funny. 410 00:15:06,322 --> 00:15:07,489 Good band. 411 00:15:07,573 --> 00:15:08,657 "Cherry Pie," right? 412 00:15:08,741 --> 00:15:10,409 No, I don't have that, uh, 413 00:15:10,492 --> 00:15:12,870 but there are two women in here who are fugitives from the law. 414 00:15:12,953 --> 00:15:15,039 So go ahead and let me in so I can get that going, and -- 415 00:15:15,122 --> 00:15:16,707 and everybody can be safer. 416 00:15:16,790 --> 00:15:19,043 Safer at the Sosi House. 417 00:15:32,264 --> 00:15:33,974 -Burgers? 418 00:15:36,226 --> 00:15:38,395 -Thank you, no, I'm straight. 419 00:15:38,479 --> 00:15:40,230 -I meant, are you in here for the burgers? 420 00:15:40,314 --> 00:15:43,609 They have the Au Cheval burger here. 421 00:15:43,692 --> 00:15:46,528 -Why are you here? -Burgers. 422 00:15:46,612 --> 00:15:49,198 You'd think they'd let me in. I am an alderman. 423 00:15:49,281 --> 00:15:52,785 But I guess that titles don't matter here at Sosi House! 424 00:15:57,456 --> 00:16:00,793 -Listen, I am so sick of you "Chicago Shields" extras 425 00:16:00,876 --> 00:16:02,336 sliding your greasy, no-count asses in here 426 00:16:02,419 --> 00:16:04,463 pretending like you're CPD, okay? 427 00:16:04,546 --> 00:16:05,881 -You consider me greasy? -Yes, a little bit. 428 00:16:05,964 --> 00:16:07,132 -I just walked up a lot of stairs, sir, okay? 429 00:16:07,216 --> 00:16:08,342 -Okay, I understand that. 430 00:16:08,425 --> 00:16:09,551 I didn't design the building, sir. 431 00:16:09,635 --> 00:16:10,761 -I didn't love that word. 432 00:16:10,844 --> 00:16:11,845 And I don't think an African-American, 433 00:16:11,929 --> 00:16:13,389 which I assume you are -- 434 00:16:13,472 --> 00:16:14,890 or you could be Cuban, perhaps Dominican, from Panama. 435 00:16:14,973 --> 00:16:16,558 -I'm African-American. -African-American? 436 00:16:16,642 --> 00:16:17,976 -Yes. -People from the South? 437 00:16:18,060 --> 00:16:19,186 -Yes. -Guess what. 438 00:16:19,269 --> 00:16:20,646 My people are also from the South. 439 00:16:20,729 --> 00:16:23,399 -I guess they don't care about brothers 440 00:16:23,482 --> 00:16:24,900 being on the wall, either. 441 00:16:24,983 --> 00:16:27,903 Sad there ain't no brothers on the wall. 442 00:16:27,986 --> 00:16:31,365 -I don't get it. 443 00:16:31,448 --> 00:16:34,326 -Uh, "Do The Right Thing"? 444 00:16:34,410 --> 00:16:37,329 -I'm sorry. Is that a TV show? 445 00:16:37,413 --> 00:16:40,082 -No, it's -- it's a movie. 446 00:16:40,165 --> 00:16:43,043 -Who directed it? 447 00:16:43,127 --> 00:16:46,255 -Spike Lee. -Oh. 448 00:16:46,338 --> 00:16:48,090 Yeah, uh, I thought... 449 00:16:48,173 --> 00:16:49,591 I like Spike Lee. 450 00:16:49,675 --> 00:16:51,802 I'm more of a "Clockers" guy. 451 00:16:51,885 --> 00:16:52,928 -This is a very important situation. 452 00:16:53,011 --> 00:16:54,388 What about -- Uh-oh. -No. 453 00:16:54,471 --> 00:16:57,015 -What if I did this? -Sir, no. No. 454 00:16:57,099 --> 00:16:58,350 Sir, sir, please, sir. -What about this right here? 455 00:16:58,434 --> 00:17:00,018 All of a sudden, I can just move this way. 456 00:17:00,102 --> 00:17:01,270 -I can't handle this today. -I can't handle it, either. 457 00:17:01,353 --> 00:17:02,646 I -- Jessica! That's my friend. 458 00:17:02,730 --> 00:17:05,232 Jessie, yo! Can I be your plus, uh, one? 459 00:17:05,315 --> 00:17:06,483 Girl, you crazy. She so crazy. 460 00:17:06,567 --> 00:17:07,984 -Please stop harassing our guests. 461 00:17:08,068 --> 00:17:10,069 -She has a hearing thing, okay? Are you happy? 462 00:17:10,154 --> 00:17:12,990 -Brenda just posted a pic on IG with the caption 463 00:17:13,073 --> 00:17:15,075 "Super sick, just resting up in my trailer." 464 00:17:15,159 --> 00:17:18,954 And now the hashtag savebrenda is trending. 465 00:17:19,038 --> 00:17:20,204 -Ohh! -Aw! 466 00:17:20,289 --> 00:17:22,332 -That woman is not sick. -Oh. 467 00:17:22,415 --> 00:17:25,461 -But you just liked the photo. 468 00:17:25,544 --> 00:17:26,627 -Well, the last time I didn't like a photo, 469 00:17:26,712 --> 00:17:27,963 I lost an entire page of dialogue. 470 00:17:28,047 --> 00:17:29,548 And then she said -- she said some shit 471 00:17:29,631 --> 00:17:30,966 about, like, how I was acting 472 00:17:31,049 --> 00:17:33,510 "too tall and like being imperious over her," 473 00:17:33,594 --> 00:17:35,471 and now I'm in a wheelchair for the next three episodes. 474 00:17:35,554 --> 00:17:38,015 -That's crazy. You know what else is crazy? 475 00:17:38,098 --> 00:17:39,641 How good K's book is. 476 00:17:39,725 --> 00:17:42,561 -Okay, this is something that's not necessarily in the book, 477 00:17:42,644 --> 00:17:44,897 but as I was reading it, I was wondering, like, 478 00:17:44,980 --> 00:17:46,315 is Shaheer blind? 479 00:17:46,398 --> 00:17:47,775 'Cause there were some parts where I was reading 480 00:17:47,858 --> 00:17:49,651 and I'm like like, "Oh, he can't see." 481 00:17:49,735 --> 00:17:51,695 -Shit, I wish I was blind reading this book. 482 00:17:51,779 --> 00:17:53,322 -Fuck you, Jay-Mal! -Hey, hey, hey. 483 00:17:53,405 --> 00:17:55,115 -Face it. We're dancing around the truth. 484 00:17:55,199 --> 00:17:57,326 The book fucking sucks. 485 00:17:57,409 --> 00:17:58,911 -This is literature. 486 00:17:58,994 --> 00:18:01,163 And I still can't get over those tremor grenades. 487 00:18:01,246 --> 00:18:03,332 They are fantastic. Am I right? 488 00:18:03,415 --> 00:18:04,875 -They're pretty cool. 489 00:18:04,958 --> 00:18:07,753 -You sure are harping a lot on those tremor grenades. 490 00:18:07,836 --> 00:18:09,254 What else did you like, Simon? 491 00:18:09,338 --> 00:18:11,548 -Well, I'm glad you asked that question. 492 00:18:11,632 --> 00:18:14,343 I... -Did you even read the book? 493 00:18:14,426 --> 00:18:16,678 -Yeah. Yeah, I read it. 494 00:18:16,762 --> 00:18:18,806 I meant to read it, you know? 495 00:18:18,889 --> 00:18:21,016 Here, fuck it. 496 00:18:21,099 --> 00:18:23,894 I owe you one. I owe you one full book read. 497 00:18:23,977 --> 00:18:25,687 We good? 498 00:18:25,771 --> 00:18:27,189 -Ooh, shit, they finna break up. 499 00:18:27,272 --> 00:18:28,774 -Don't ever touch me. 500 00:18:28,857 --> 00:18:31,026 -They finna break up. 501 00:18:31,109 --> 00:18:32,820 -We good? 502 00:18:40,536 --> 00:18:42,579 -Tandem bike riding never really works out. 503 00:18:42,663 --> 00:18:44,206 -Why? -It broke my grandparents up. 504 00:18:44,289 --> 00:18:47,000 They divorced, like, mid-tandem, like... 505 00:18:47,084 --> 00:18:49,044 -Wow. -Oh, shit, that's crazy. 506 00:18:49,127 --> 00:18:50,546 -That's -- That's wild as hell, man. 507 00:18:50,629 --> 00:18:51,922 -I know. My family's wild. 508 00:18:52,005 --> 00:18:53,382 -Is that motherfuckin' Stacy? 509 00:18:53,465 --> 00:18:54,800 Who she with? 510 00:18:54,883 --> 00:18:56,552 Stacy! 511 00:19:05,644 --> 00:19:07,563 Bitch, why we ducking? 512 00:19:07,646 --> 00:19:09,356 -That's my C.O. -What the -- 513 00:19:09,439 --> 00:19:11,191 -My boss. I'm supposed to be working. 514 00:19:11,275 --> 00:19:13,235 -Bitch, why we ducking? 515 00:19:13,318 --> 00:19:14,903 -You think they saw us? 516 00:19:14,987 --> 00:19:16,238 -I don't think so. 517 00:19:16,321 --> 00:19:19,241 Um, I forgot to mention this at breakfast. 518 00:19:19,324 --> 00:19:22,828 I think I need help with my August rent, too. 519 00:19:22,911 --> 00:19:24,288 -That's what I'm here for. 520 00:19:24,371 --> 00:19:27,416 -And September and October. And, like, all next year. 521 00:19:27,499 --> 00:19:30,919 Actually, yeah, all next year. -God, that's hot. 522 00:19:31,003 --> 00:19:33,338 -Maybe I've been going at this wrong the whole time. 523 00:19:33,422 --> 00:19:35,424 You know, I'm -- I'm too uptight. 524 00:19:35,507 --> 00:19:38,093 I should have a more of a devil-may-care attitude 525 00:19:38,176 --> 00:19:40,095 like Brenda. You know, just get lost. 526 00:19:40,178 --> 00:19:42,598 And dive right into that stranger's biz. 527 00:19:42,681 --> 00:19:44,391 -Meanwhile... 528 00:19:44,474 --> 00:19:46,685 -"Save Brenda"? 529 00:19:46,768 --> 00:19:47,936 -Yeah. -That bitch ain't sick! 530 00:19:48,020 --> 00:19:49,771 -Let me tell you something, Liv. 531 00:19:49,855 --> 00:19:53,942 Brenda thinks you're a stupid, stupid bitch. 532 00:19:54,026 --> 00:19:55,444 -Yes, she does. -Yes, she does. 533 00:19:55,527 --> 00:19:57,613 Come on, man. We can't give up right now. 534 00:19:57,696 --> 00:19:59,281 Ain't no reason in hell we should still be here pounding 535 00:19:59,364 --> 00:20:01,408 the pavement and working while they out there having fun. 536 00:20:01,491 --> 00:20:03,452 That shit ain't fair. 537 00:20:03,535 --> 00:20:09,833 ♪♪ 538 00:20:09,917 --> 00:20:12,127 -♪ I can't sleep at night ♪ 539 00:20:12,211 --> 00:20:15,297 ♪ 'Cause they won't see me ♪ 540 00:20:15,380 --> 00:20:17,633 ♪ Running from the daylight ♪ 541 00:20:17,716 --> 00:20:19,301 ♪ To where she keeps me ♪ 542 00:20:19,384 --> 00:20:23,013 ♪ And when the sun rises ♪ 543 00:20:23,096 --> 00:20:26,516 ♪ She watches over me ♪ 544 00:20:26,600 --> 00:20:36,860 ♪♪ 545 00:20:36,944 --> 00:20:38,737 ♪ Waiting for the daylight ♪ 546 00:20:38,820 --> 00:20:41,907 ♪ 'Cause then she'll keep me ♪ 547 00:20:41,990 --> 00:20:44,660 ♪ In the safety of her arms ♪ 548 00:20:44,743 --> 00:20:46,912 ♪ She never leaves me ♪ 549 00:20:46,995 --> 00:20:50,165 ♪ And when the sun rises ♪ 550 00:20:50,249 --> 00:20:52,084 ♪ She watches over me ♪ 551 00:20:52,167 --> 00:20:54,795 -♪ He tells me all his secrets ♪ 552 00:20:54,878 --> 00:20:57,005 ♪ He thinks nobody knows ♪ 553 00:20:57,089 --> 00:21:01,093 ♪ We lay together in daylight ♪ 554 00:21:01,176 --> 00:21:03,720 ♪ I love him so ♪ 555 00:21:03,804 --> 00:21:06,515 ♪ And when the sun rises ♪ 556 00:21:06,598 --> 00:21:08,350 ♪ He watches over me ♪ 557 00:21:08,433 --> 00:21:10,435 -♪ I'm Keisha, I'm Keisha ♪ 558 00:21:10,519 --> 00:21:12,521 ♪ It's really, really nice to meet ya ♪ 559 00:21:12,604 --> 00:21:14,439 ♪ I'm 5'6", got a 5-6 shoes ♪ 560 00:21:14,523 --> 00:21:16,692 ♪ When it comes to baby daddies, I like to choose ♪ 561 00:21:16,775 --> 00:21:19,194 ♪ My home girl, she's muy linda ♪ 562 00:21:19,278 --> 00:21:21,279 ♪ I'mma pass the mic to Brenda! ♪ 563 00:21:21,363 --> 00:21:22,698 -Okay. B-Brenda. 564 00:21:22,781 --> 00:21:25,158 That's my name. Hey, hey. 565 00:21:25,242 --> 00:21:27,160 ♪ My name is Brenda, I'm filthy rich ♪ 566 00:21:27,244 --> 00:21:30,038 ♪ I don't want no kids 'cause I'm that...bitch ♪ 567 00:21:30,122 --> 00:21:31,415 -Whoa! -Whoa! 568 00:21:31,498 --> 00:21:32,749 -But don't say that word, don't say that word. 569 00:21:32,833 --> 00:21:34,042 Okay, I'm gonna pass it to Turner. 570 00:21:34,126 --> 00:21:35,502 Don't say that word. 571 00:21:35,585 --> 00:21:37,421 -Okay, okay, okay. 572 00:21:37,504 --> 00:21:39,631 ♪ My name is Turner, and I keep a burner ♪ 573 00:21:39,715 --> 00:21:41,883 ♪ Gotta keep it on me 'cause I'm a top earner ♪ 574 00:21:41,967 --> 00:21:44,052 ♪ And now I'm rappin', I'm never cappin' ♪ 575 00:21:44,136 --> 00:21:45,846 ♪ I'm knee slappin' ♪ 576 00:21:45,929 --> 00:21:48,223 ♪ And if I test you, then I will best you and then arrest you ♪ 577 00:21:48,307 --> 00:21:49,307 ♪ No, that's not true ♪ 578 00:21:49,391 --> 00:21:52,352 -Ohh! -Ohh! 579 00:21:52,436 --> 00:21:53,729 -They're not respecting... 580 00:21:53,812 --> 00:21:55,897 -You sure had enough time to need enough big-ass... 581 00:21:55,981 --> 00:21:57,691 -You got a lot of free time on your hands. 582 00:21:57,774 --> 00:21:59,443 -Nobody got time for that! -There's a lot of shit 583 00:21:59,526 --> 00:22:01,028 I haven't read that I still love. 584 00:22:01,111 --> 00:22:03,196 Like "Under Siege 2." -You haven't even read that? 585 00:22:03,280 --> 00:22:06,074 If Steven Seagal was here, he would karate-chop you so slow. 586 00:22:06,158 --> 00:22:07,784 -Enter! 587 00:22:13,665 --> 00:22:16,209 Sushi two days in a row, huh? 588 00:22:16,293 --> 00:22:18,336 No, that's great. Leave it. 589 00:22:25,343 --> 00:22:27,220 [ Sighs ] 590 00:22:27,304 --> 00:22:30,223 -Okay, if I may. 591 00:22:30,307 --> 00:22:31,683 It's a great first effort. 592 00:22:31,767 --> 00:22:33,435 I enjoyed it. -Thank you. 593 00:22:33,518 --> 00:22:36,730 -But there are few small logical inconsistencies. 594 00:22:36,813 --> 00:22:39,274 -Yeah? Name one. 595 00:22:39,357 --> 00:22:41,109 I mean, name one if you got time. 596 00:22:41,193 --> 00:22:44,154 -Okay. The single-person aircraft that Shaheer pilots 597 00:22:44,237 --> 00:22:46,406 in the climatic battle at Vaharanda. 598 00:22:46,490 --> 00:22:48,784 Your character has his dominant arm chewed off 599 00:22:48,867 --> 00:22:51,953 by the space leeches, he hadn't slept in 32 hours 600 00:22:52,037 --> 00:22:54,498 and was high as a mug on OG space kush. 601 00:22:54,581 --> 00:22:57,834 There's no way he could maneuver an asteroid field in battle. 602 00:22:57,918 --> 00:23:00,504 -Well, then I'm fucked 'cause if you don't buy that, 603 00:23:00,587 --> 00:23:03,006 then you don't buy the whole second half. 604 00:23:03,090 --> 00:23:04,341 -I don't buy any of it. 605 00:23:04,424 --> 00:23:06,134 Give up, K. Let this dream go. 606 00:23:06,218 --> 00:23:09,054 -Never that, biscuits! -Like you care. 607 00:23:09,137 --> 00:23:11,223 -Yo, I care. -I believe you. 608 00:23:11,306 --> 00:23:14,684 -"And those three planets were never even there." 609 00:23:17,062 --> 00:23:18,730 -Hmm. 610 00:23:18,814 --> 00:23:21,108 -Okay, here's my take. 611 00:23:21,191 --> 00:23:25,320 K, this is a great book... because of its flaws. 612 00:23:25,403 --> 00:23:27,405 Every great work of literary fiction has got something, 613 00:23:27,489 --> 00:23:30,242 has got some component that doesn't really make sense. 614 00:23:30,325 --> 00:23:33,912 Like, for example, uh, "Ferris Bueller's Day Off" -- 615 00:23:33,995 --> 00:23:35,413 greatest movie ever made. 616 00:23:35,497 --> 00:23:37,040 -Clearly you haven't seen "Spy Kids." 617 00:23:37,124 --> 00:23:38,208 -Shut up, Jay-Mal. 618 00:23:38,291 --> 00:23:39,751 -When Ferris goes to pick up Sloane, 619 00:23:39,835 --> 00:23:42,379 he's standing there in a trench coat and a hat, 620 00:23:42,462 --> 00:23:44,131 and Rooney doesn't recognize him. 621 00:23:44,214 --> 00:23:46,508 -Hmm. -Rooney, who is obsessed 622 00:23:46,591 --> 00:23:49,094 with Ferris, does not recognize him. 623 00:23:49,177 --> 00:23:51,096 It's a massive plot hole. 624 00:23:51,179 --> 00:23:56,518 But without Ferris pretending to be Sloane's father, 625 00:23:56,601 --> 00:24:01,356 without that flawed scene, you don't get the Ferrari. 626 00:24:01,439 --> 00:24:04,651 And without the Ferrari, you don't get that -- 627 00:24:04,734 --> 00:24:06,486 that great last scene. 628 00:24:09,823 --> 00:24:13,368 -Damn! That is so true. Whew! 629 00:24:13,451 --> 00:24:15,078 -Have you seen "Ferris Bueller's Day Off"? 630 00:24:15,162 --> 00:24:16,329 -Uhh... 631 00:24:16,413 --> 00:24:18,874 -She has a nice place. -Yeah. It's nice. 632 00:24:18,957 --> 00:24:20,417 -Really nice. 633 00:24:20,500 --> 00:24:22,878 [ Doorbell rings ] Wow, it's open. 634 00:24:22,961 --> 00:24:24,546 -Some security. 635 00:24:24,629 --> 00:24:26,548 [ Doorbell rings ] 636 00:24:26,631 --> 00:24:27,841 -Hello? -Oh. 637 00:24:27,924 --> 00:24:30,719 Hey, Brenda! Can you open this door? 638 00:24:30,802 --> 00:24:32,888 -Uh, I can't come to the door right now. 639 00:24:32,971 --> 00:24:36,016 I'm not in my trailer, in case you were wondering. 640 00:24:36,099 --> 00:24:39,519 I'm upstairs in my bed, super sick. 641 00:24:39,603 --> 00:24:40,896 Thank you for your concern, 642 00:24:40,979 --> 00:24:42,898 and hopefully I can make it to work tomorrow. 643 00:24:42,981 --> 00:24:44,900 -What are you doing? Um, okay. 644 00:24:44,983 --> 00:24:47,277 -Brenda? 645 00:24:47,360 --> 00:24:49,154 Brenda, you stupid slut! 646 00:24:49,237 --> 00:24:50,572 Yeah, no, she ain't here. -Oh. 647 00:24:50,655 --> 00:24:52,115 You have her door code? -Yeah. 648 00:24:52,199 --> 00:24:53,950 Half the people on set have her door code. 649 00:24:54,034 --> 00:24:55,368 -That's not really safe. -Half the people 650 00:24:55,452 --> 00:24:56,786 on the Chicago Bears have her door code. 651 00:24:56,870 --> 00:24:58,830 The bottom half, if know what I mean. 652 00:24:58,914 --> 00:25:00,582 -Oh, like the worst 26 players? 653 00:25:00,665 --> 00:25:03,585 -Uh, yeah. Sure. -Okay. 654 00:25:03,668 --> 00:25:07,088 Hey, uh, that pineapple is not really sitting right. 655 00:25:07,172 --> 00:25:08,840 You know where I could just, uh, go drop off the Browns 656 00:25:08,924 --> 00:25:10,842 at the Super Bowl? -Oh, uh, yeah. 657 00:25:10,926 --> 00:25:12,594 Why don't you, uh, use the master bath? 658 00:25:12,677 --> 00:25:14,095 It's gorgeous. -Are you sure? 659 00:25:14,179 --> 00:25:15,597 Is it, like, nice up there? 'Cause the thing is, 660 00:25:15,680 --> 00:25:17,224 I got to take the vest off, the pants off. 661 00:25:17,307 --> 00:25:18,892 The -- The -- The tactical boots gotta come off. 662 00:25:18,975 --> 00:25:20,477 I got the socks on. 663 00:25:20,560 --> 00:25:22,103 The socks actually have grip on 'em, so that kinda helps me 664 00:25:22,187 --> 00:25:23,605 when I wanna, like, you know, get some traction. 665 00:25:23,688 --> 00:25:25,649 -Well, the bitch is at my house. 666 00:25:25,732 --> 00:25:28,193 Guess we gotta head back soon. 667 00:25:28,276 --> 00:25:31,404 Hey, can we do one more thing? 668 00:25:31,488 --> 00:25:34,115 -Like what? I mean, I'm in. 669 00:25:34,199 --> 00:25:35,784 Just tell us. 670 00:25:35,867 --> 00:25:39,621 -Turner, I wanna arrest somebody. 671 00:25:39,704 --> 00:25:41,581 -What? Why? 672 00:25:41,665 --> 00:25:43,458 -'Cause I pretend to be a cop every day. 673 00:25:43,541 --> 00:25:45,627 I want to know what the shit actually feels like. 674 00:25:45,710 --> 00:25:46,836 -It's terrible. 675 00:25:46,920 --> 00:25:48,964 Ugh, girl, it's a lot of paperwork. 676 00:25:49,047 --> 00:25:51,132 Nobody likes you. I don't even like my job, okay? 677 00:25:51,216 --> 00:25:52,801 This is supposed to be my day off, too. 678 00:25:52,884 --> 00:25:55,136 Shoot. -Ooh! 679 00:25:55,220 --> 00:25:57,931 I know somebody breaking the law right now. 680 00:25:58,014 --> 00:25:59,891 -There you go, sweetie. 681 00:25:59,975 --> 00:26:01,977 There you go. Yeah, yeah, yeah. 682 00:26:28,962 --> 00:26:30,922 Brenda? 683 00:26:31,006 --> 00:26:32,841 -Cole. 684 00:26:33,717 --> 00:26:34,884 -[ Grunts ] -Hey, there's doughnuts! 685 00:26:34,968 --> 00:26:36,303 Oh, hi. -[ Gasps ] 686 00:26:36,386 --> 00:26:38,930 [ Grunting ] 687 00:26:39,014 --> 00:26:42,350 -Did you... 688 00:26:42,434 --> 00:26:43,810 -He's with me. 689 00:26:43,893 --> 00:26:45,729 -♪ Yuh, left hand whip, right hand whip ♪ 690 00:26:45,812 --> 00:26:47,522 ♪ Left hand whip, right hand whip ♪ 691 00:26:47,605 --> 00:26:48,857 ♪ Left hand whip, right hand ♪ 692 00:26:48,940 --> 00:26:52,694 -You know you up on the curb, right? 693 00:26:52,777 --> 00:26:53,903 -Boom boom, baby. 694 00:26:53,987 --> 00:26:55,530 -Oh, shit! 695 00:26:55,613 --> 00:26:57,449 She's doing the catchphrase! 696 00:26:57,532 --> 00:26:58,700 -Brenda Cole! 697 00:26:58,783 --> 00:27:00,493 -Dang, why are you so loud? Stop! 698 00:27:00,577 --> 00:27:03,038 -I'm getting arrested by Brenda Cole! 699 00:27:03,121 --> 00:27:04,789 -Ma'am, ma'am, I'm arresting you today 700 00:27:04,873 --> 00:27:06,750 because you pretending to be a travel nurse 701 00:27:06,833 --> 00:27:08,835 when we all know you the Cat Burglar of Beverly. 702 00:27:08,918 --> 00:27:10,462 -Yeah. -Why you even wearing that? 703 00:27:10,545 --> 00:27:12,005 -Oh, my God! -Hey, why are you so loud? 704 00:27:12,088 --> 00:27:14,132 -I'm getting arrested by a star! 705 00:27:14,215 --> 00:27:17,052 Niggas, we don' made it! -Hey. Hey! 706 00:27:17,135 --> 00:27:19,179 Hey, okay, I'mma let you go with a warning, okay? 707 00:27:19,262 --> 00:27:20,388 -You sure you wanna do that? 708 00:27:20,472 --> 00:27:21,890 -I don't, but you -- you so loud. 709 00:27:21,973 --> 00:27:23,850 -Can we take a selfie? -Oh, my God. Get out of -- 710 00:27:23,933 --> 00:27:26,853 -I want to take a selfie or s-- -No, no. Go. Ugh. 711 00:27:26,936 --> 00:27:28,897 -I been arrested by Brenda Cole! 712 00:27:28,980 --> 00:27:32,233 Man, I'm telling you, cat burgling done finally paid off! 713 00:27:32,317 --> 00:27:35,070 -Wasn't as fun as you thought it was gonna be, huh? 714 00:27:40,617 --> 00:27:43,161 -Am I fake? 715 00:27:43,244 --> 00:27:46,831 -Well, I just met you, but, no. 716 00:27:46,915 --> 00:27:47,999 -Well, my brother called me fake 717 00:27:48,083 --> 00:27:49,793 when we was arguing yesterday. 718 00:27:49,876 --> 00:27:51,294 Talking 'bout I've changed or something. 719 00:27:51,378 --> 00:27:54,089 I don't know. -You probably did change. 720 00:27:54,172 --> 00:27:55,965 You was a little poor girl from East Side Detroit, 721 00:27:56,049 --> 00:27:58,510 and now you rich. But ain't that the point? 722 00:27:58,593 --> 00:28:01,012 Ain't nobody working this hard to stay the same. 723 00:28:01,096 --> 00:28:03,640 Besides, you gonna let somebody tell you who the fuck you are? 724 00:28:03,723 --> 00:28:04,933 'Cause I thought you was that bitch. 725 00:28:05,016 --> 00:28:06,101 -That bitch. -Is you that bitch? 726 00:28:06,184 --> 00:28:07,435 -That bitch! -Is you that bitch? 727 00:28:07,519 --> 00:28:08,853 -That bitch! -I'm that bitch. 728 00:28:08,937 --> 00:28:11,147 I'm that bitch. -Brenda Cole is that bitch! 729 00:28:11,231 --> 00:28:12,440 -He's just trying to tear me down. 730 00:28:12,524 --> 00:28:14,317 'Cause I can afford shit. -Mm-hmm. 731 00:28:14,401 --> 00:28:15,652 -I don't even need any of this shit. 732 00:28:15,735 --> 00:28:18,071 -Nope. -I don't give a fuck about it. 733 00:28:18,154 --> 00:28:19,239 -Nope. -Fuck it up! 734 00:28:19,322 --> 00:28:20,323 -Not these parties. -Fuck, no. 735 00:28:20,407 --> 00:28:22,325 -Not this free shit. -Well... 736 00:28:22,409 --> 00:28:24,828 -People kissin' my ass all day long. 737 00:28:24,911 --> 00:28:27,080 Can I get some real people around me? 738 00:28:27,163 --> 00:28:29,290 -Fuck them blood-sucking ass hoes. 739 00:28:29,374 --> 00:28:30,959 -The fender, all that shit. 740 00:28:31,042 --> 00:28:33,795 Kick all that, okay. Alright, now. 741 00:28:33,878 --> 00:28:36,756 -I got family coming at me all day for no reason at all. 742 00:28:36,840 --> 00:28:39,801 And this car? 743 00:28:39,884 --> 00:28:41,553 Don't even care about it. 744 00:28:44,389 --> 00:28:46,015 -Shit. -Unh! 745 00:28:46,099 --> 00:28:49,185 [ Glass shatters ] 746 00:28:49,269 --> 00:28:50,478 -Whoa. -Ohh, Brenda. 747 00:28:50,562 --> 00:28:51,938 Brenda, Brenda, Brenda! Keisha! 748 00:28:52,021 --> 00:28:56,317 -Turner! Ahhhh! 749 00:28:56,401 --> 00:28:57,819 Aah, no, don't! 750 00:28:57,902 --> 00:29:00,238 Look out, Jesus! [ Car crashes ] 751 00:29:00,321 --> 00:29:03,116 ♪ I got you stuck in my mind ♪ 752 00:29:03,199 --> 00:29:07,829 ♪ Poster girl, I want you to be mine ♪ 753 00:29:07,912 --> 00:29:11,374 ♪ Figment of my imagination ♪ 754 00:29:11,458 --> 00:29:14,335 ♪ You're no less of a creation ♪ 755 00:29:14,419 --> 00:29:15,837 -Warm gummy bear? 756 00:29:15,920 --> 00:29:17,672 -♪ I got you stuck in my mind ♪ 757 00:29:17,755 --> 00:29:19,048 -Ughhhhhh. -Ohh. Seriously, seriously. 758 00:29:19,132 --> 00:29:20,341 Hey, hey, you okay? 759 00:29:20,425 --> 00:29:22,343 My bad, my bad. 760 00:29:22,427 --> 00:29:23,928 -Well, I feel like maybe 761 00:29:24,012 --> 00:29:26,347 I might feel some pain a little later. 762 00:29:26,431 --> 00:29:30,101 But I also feel like maybe, just give me this car. 763 00:29:30,185 --> 00:29:32,353 -Okay. Um, I don't need it. 764 00:29:32,437 --> 00:29:33,730 It's yours. 765 00:29:33,813 --> 00:29:35,690 You got it. It's -- Yep. 766 00:29:35,773 --> 00:29:38,526 It's all you. -Ohh. 767 00:29:38,610 --> 00:29:40,695 -Girl, look, you definitely 768 00:29:40,778 --> 00:29:42,572 don't have to worry about being fake 769 00:29:42,655 --> 00:29:45,909 'cause this was some real-ass shit. 770 00:29:45,992 --> 00:29:47,869 -I'm the realest bitch I know. 771 00:29:47,952 --> 00:29:50,872 -Well, actually, that's me, but you is a close second. 772 00:29:50,955 --> 00:29:52,165 -Okay. -Okay. 773 00:29:52,248 --> 00:29:53,249 -Alright. -Absolutely. 774 00:29:53,333 --> 00:29:54,459 -Okay. 775 00:29:54,542 --> 00:29:56,211 -The rear linkage is still intact. 776 00:29:56,294 --> 00:29:58,379 Mm-hmm. It still drives. 777 00:29:58,463 --> 00:29:59,756 I'm definitely gonna take this car. 778 00:29:59,839 --> 00:30:01,633 -Okay. -O-Okay. 779 00:30:03,259 --> 00:30:07,263 -I'm sick of looking for her all over the goddamn pla-- 780 00:30:07,347 --> 00:30:09,807 Hey! -Are they ready for me? 781 00:30:11,643 --> 00:30:12,977 -Uh... 782 00:30:13,061 --> 00:30:15,355 I... -Uh, can you go find out? 783 00:30:19,025 --> 00:30:21,736 [ Door closes ] 784 00:30:21,819 --> 00:30:22,987 -"The countries of East Africa 785 00:30:23,071 --> 00:30:26,574 divide into two distinct cultural regions. 786 00:30:26,658 --> 00:30:29,661 The Sudan and the Horn nations have been influenced 787 00:30:29,744 --> 00:30:31,913 by the Middle East." I knew that. 788 00:30:31,996 --> 00:30:33,289 -♪ They said burn ♪ 789 00:30:33,373 --> 00:30:46,261 ♪♪ 790 00:30:46,344 --> 00:30:48,638 ♪ They said ♪ 791 00:30:48,721 --> 00:30:53,142 ♪♪ 792 00:30:53,226 --> 00:30:54,936 ♪ They said ♪ 793 00:30:55,019 --> 00:31:00,858 ♪♪ 794 00:31:00,942 --> 00:31:03,152 ♪ They said ♪ -♪ Burn ♪ 795 00:31:03,236 --> 00:31:04,946 ♪ Burn, burn ♪ 796 00:31:04,996 --> 00:31:09,546 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 58164

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