Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:06,000 --> 00:00:12,074
2
00:01:12,781 --> 00:01:15,867
[Shrek] "Once upon a time there
was a lovely princess.
3
00:01:17,828 --> 00:01:21,123
But she had an enchantment
upon her of a fearful sort,
4
00:01:21,540 --> 00:01:24,459
which could only be broken
by love's first kiss.
5
00:01:26,628 --> 00:01:28,547
She was locked away
in a castle,
6
00:01:28,880 --> 00:01:32,050
guarded by a terrible
fire-breathing dragon.
7
00:01:33,260 --> 00:01:37,097
Many brave knights had attempted to
free her from this dreadful prison,
8
00:01:37,597 --> 00:01:39,349
but none prevailed.
9
00:01:40,600 --> 00:01:42,561
She waited in
the dragon's keep,
10
00:01:42,644 --> 00:01:45,147
in the highest room
of the tallest tower,
11
00:01:45,564 --> 00:01:49,359
for her true love
and true love's first kiss."
12
00:01:50,569 --> 00:01:53,488
[laughing]
Like that's ever gonna happen.
13
00:01:54,072 --> 00:01:56,992
-[paper rustling and toilet flushes]
-what a load of--
14
00:01:57,075 --> 00:02:01,663
♪ Somebody once told methe world is gonna roll me ♪
15
00:02:01,913 --> 00:02:05,751
♪ I ain't the sharpest toolIn the shed ♪
16
00:02:06,293 --> 00:02:10,672
♪ She was lookin' kind of dumb With her finger and her thumb ♪
17
00:02:10,756 --> 00:02:14,676
♪ In the shape of an "L"On her forehead ♪
18
00:02:15,761 --> 00:02:18,013
♪ The years start comin'And they don't stop comin' ♪
19
00:02:18,096 --> 00:02:20,557
♪ Fed to the rulesAnd I hit the ground runnin' ♪
20
00:02:20,641 --> 00:02:22,851
♪ Didn't make senseNot to live for fun ♪
21
00:02:22,934 --> 00:02:25,145
♪ Your brain gets smartBut your head gets dumb ♪
22
00:02:25,228 --> 00:02:27,147
♪ So much to doSo much to see ♪
23
00:02:27,230 --> 00:02:29,524
♪ So what's wrong withTakin' the backstreets ♪
24
00:02:29,691 --> 00:02:31,902
♪ You'll never knowIf you don't go ♪
25
00:02:31,985 --> 00:02:33,987
♪ You'll never shineIf you don't glow ♪
26
00:02:34,529 --> 00:02:36,448
♪ Hey, nowYou're an all-star ♪
27
00:02:36,531 --> 00:02:38,867
♪ Get your game on, go play ♪
28
00:02:38,950 --> 00:02:43,497
♪ Hey, now, you're a rock starGet the show on, get paid ♪
29
00:02:43,580 --> 00:02:47,209
♪ And all thatGlitters is gold ♪
30
00:02:47,292 --> 00:02:52,589
♪ Only shootin' starsBreak the mould ♪
31
00:02:52,672 --> 00:02:54,966
♪ It's a cool placeAnd they say it gets colder ♪
32
00:02:55,050 --> 00:02:57,302
♪ You're bundled up now But wait till you get older ♪
33
00:02:57,386 --> 00:02:59,304
♪ But the meteor menBeg to differ ♪
34
00:02:59,388 --> 00:03:01,556
♪ Judging by the holeIn the satellite picture ♪
35
00:03:01,640 --> 00:03:03,934
♪ The ice we skateIs gettin' pretty thin ♪
36
00:03:04,017 --> 00:03:05,936
♪ The water's getting warmSo you might as well swim ♪
37
00:03:06,019 --> 00:03:08,480
♪ My world's on fireHow 'bout yours ♪
38
00:03:08,563 --> 00:03:10,857
{\an8}♪ That's the way I like itAnd I'll never get bored ♪
39
00:03:10,941 --> 00:03:13,443
♪ Hey, now You're an all-star ♪
40
00:03:13,568 --> 00:03:16,113
♪ Get your game on, go play ♪
41
00:03:16,196 --> 00:03:20,325
♪ Hey, now, you're a rock starGet the show on, get paid ♪
42
00:03:20,700 --> 00:03:24,079
♪ And all thatGlitters is gold ♪
43
00:03:24,162 --> 00:03:29,626
♪ Only shootin' starsBreak the mould ♪
44
00:03:29,709 --> 00:03:31,837
[belches]
45
00:03:33,213 --> 00:03:35,006
-Go!
-Go!
46
00:03:39,136 --> 00:03:40,846
♪ Hey, nowYou're an all-star ♪
47
00:03:40,929 --> 00:03:43,473
♪ Get your game on, go play ♪
48
00:03:44,015 --> 00:03:47,936
♪ Hey, now, you're a rock starGet the show on, get paid ♪
49
00:03:48,353 --> 00:03:51,773
♪ And all thatGlitters is gold ♪
50
00:03:51,857 --> 00:03:57,696
♪ Only shootin' starsBreak the mould ♪
51
00:04:02,534 --> 00:04:05,787
-Think it's in there?
-All right. Let's get it!
52
00:04:05,912 --> 00:04:08,290
Whoa. Hold on. Do you know what that
thing can do to you?
53
00:04:08,373 --> 00:04:11,460
Yeah, it'll grind
your bones for its bread.
54
00:04:11,543 --> 00:04:15,547
[laughs] Yes, well, actually,
that would be a giant.
55
00:04:15,630 --> 00:04:19,301
[gasps]
Now, ogres, they're much worse.
56
00:04:19,634 --> 00:04:22,721
They'll make a suit
from your freshly peeled skin.
57
00:04:22,804 --> 00:04:25,056
-No!
-They'll shave your liver.
58
00:04:25,140 --> 00:04:27,809
Squeeze the jelly
from your eyes!
59
00:04:28,101 --> 00:04:30,854
-Actually, it's quite good on toast.
-Back! Back, beast!
60
00:04:30,937 --> 00:04:32,981
Back! I warn ya!
61
00:04:36,777 --> 00:04:38,612
[gasping]
Right.
62
00:04:40,030 --> 00:04:42,365
[roaring]
63
00:04:42,491 --> 00:04:46,119
-[shouting]
-[roaring]
64
00:04:47,370 --> 00:04:49,289
[roaring continues]
65
00:04:50,749 --> 00:04:53,084
[shouting continues]
66
00:04:55,378 --> 00:04:58,089
[whispers]
This is the part where you run away.
67
00:04:59,049 --> 00:05:02,260
-[gasping]
-[laughs]
68
00:05:05,555 --> 00:05:07,265
And stay out!
69
00:05:11,311 --> 00:05:13,313
"Wanted. Fairy tale creatures."
70
00:05:15,023 --> 00:05:16,274
[sighs]
71
00:05:20,070 --> 00:05:21,613
[man's voice]
All right. This one's full.
72
00:05:21,696 --> 00:05:23,657
-Take it away!
-[gasps]
73
00:05:24,407 --> 00:05:26,993
-Move it along. Come on! Get up!
-Next!
74
00:05:28,411 --> 00:05:31,248
Give me that!
Your flying days are over.
75
00:05:31,373 --> 00:05:34,042
That's 20 pieces of silver
for the witch. Next!
76
00:05:34,125 --> 00:05:36,711
-Get up! Come on!
-Twenty pieces.
77
00:05:37,379 --> 00:05:39,256
[thudding]
Sit down there!
78
00:05:39,339 --> 00:05:41,841
-Keep quiet!
-[crying]
79
00:05:42,217 --> 00:05:44,719
This cage is too small.
80
00:05:44,844 --> 00:05:46,638
Please don't turn me in.
I'll never be stubborn again.
81
00:05:46,721 --> 00:05:48,640
I can change.
Please! Give me another chance!
82
00:05:48,723 --> 00:05:51,268
-Oh, shut up. Oh!
-[man] Next!
83
00:05:51,560 --> 00:05:54,479
-What have you got?
-This little wooden puppet.
84
00:05:54,563 --> 00:05:57,190
I'm not a puppet.
I'm a real boy.
85
00:05:59,568 --> 00:06:01,611
Five shillings
for the possessed toy.
86
00:06:01,695 --> 00:06:03,989
-Take it away. Father, please!
-Don't let them do this!
87
00:06:04,072 --> 00:06:05,657
-Help me!
-Next. What have you got?
88
00:06:05,740 --> 00:06:08,618
-Well, I've got a talking donkey.
-[grunts]
89
00:06:08,994 --> 00:06:12,998
Right. Well, that's good
for ten shillings, if you can prove it.
90
00:06:13,081 --> 00:06:15,375
Oh, go ahead, little fella.
91
00:06:18,378 --> 00:06:19,462
Well?
92
00:06:19,588 --> 00:06:22,132
Oh, oh, he's just--
He's just a little nervous.
93
00:06:22,215 --> 00:06:25,594
He's really quite a chatterbox.
Talk, you boneheaded dolt--
94
00:06:25,677 --> 00:06:28,722
-That's it. I've heard enough. Guards!
-[lady] No, no, he talks!
95
00:06:28,805 --> 00:06:32,892
He does. I can talk.
I love to talk.
96
00:06:33,059 --> 00:06:35,437
I'm the talkingest
damn thing you ever saw.
97
00:06:37,147 --> 00:06:38,773
-Get her out of my sight.
-No, no!
98
00:06:38,857 --> 00:06:41,943
I swear! Oh!
He can talk!
99
00:06:43,486 --> 00:06:44,779
[gasps]
100
00:06:46,323 --> 00:06:48,074
Hey! I can fly!
101
00:06:48,158 --> 00:06:49,743
He can fly!
He can fly!
102
00:06:50,076 --> 00:06:52,704
-He can talk!
-Ha, ha! That's right, fool!
103
00:06:52,787 --> 00:06:54,831
Now I'm a flying,
talking donkey.
104
00:06:54,914 --> 00:06:57,667
You might have seen a house fly,
maybe even a super fly,
105
00:06:57,751 --> 00:07:00,795
but I bet you ain't
never seen a donkey fly.
106
00:07:00,879 --> 00:07:02,172
Ha, ha!
107
00:07:03,506 --> 00:07:04,591
Uh-oh.
108
00:07:05,216 --> 00:07:06,509
[grunts]
109
00:07:07,218 --> 00:07:08,136
Seize him!
110
00:07:09,054 --> 00:07:11,431
[gasps]
111
00:07:11,514 --> 00:07:13,975
[man] After him!
He's getting away!
112
00:07:15,393 --> 00:07:17,145
[panting]
113
00:07:19,564 --> 00:07:21,816
[grunts] gasps]
114
00:07:21,942 --> 00:07:24,861
[man]
Get him! This way! Turn!
115
00:07:30,241 --> 00:07:32,535
You there. Ogre!
116
00:07:32,911 --> 00:07:34,037
Aye?
117
00:07:34,329 --> 00:07:39,042
By the order of Lord Farquaad, I am
authorized to place you both under arrest,
118
00:07:39,125 --> 00:07:44,756
and transport you
to a designated... resettlement facility.
119
00:07:45,090 --> 00:07:48,301
Oh, really?
You and what army?
120
00:07:52,055 --> 00:07:54,182
[gasps]
[whimpering]
121
00:07:54,265 --> 00:07:56,351
[chuckles]
122
00:07:56,434 --> 00:07:58,269
[birds screeching]
123
00:07:59,938 --> 00:08:01,064
Can I say something to you?
124
00:08:01,731 --> 00:08:05,068
Listen, you was really, really somethin'
back there. Incredible!
125
00:08:05,276 --> 00:08:11,491
Are you talkin' to--
me? Whoa!
126
00:08:11,574 --> 00:08:14,119
Yes, I was talkin' to you. Can I tell you
that you was great back there?
127
00:08:14,202 --> 00:08:15,036
Those guards!
128
00:08:15,245 --> 00:08:17,580
They thought they was all of that.
Then you showed up, and bam!
129
00:08:17,789 --> 00:08:19,833
They was trippin'
over themselves like babes in the woods.
130
00:08:19,916 --> 00:08:22,002
That really made me
feel good to see that.
131
00:08:22,127 --> 00:08:24,838
-Oh, that's great. Really.
-Man, it's good to be free.
132
00:08:24,921 --> 00:08:29,551
Now, why don't you go celebrate your
freedom with your own friends? Hmm?
133
00:08:30,635 --> 00:08:33,430
But, uh, I don't
have any friends.
134
00:08:34,014 --> 00:08:36,141
And I'm not goin'
out there by myself.
135
00:08:36,766 --> 00:08:39,269
Hey, wait a minute!
I got a great idea! I'll stick with you.
136
00:08:39,602 --> 00:08:41,312
You're a mean,
green, fightin' machine.
137
00:08:41,396 --> 00:08:43,857
Together we'll scare
the spit out of anybody that crosses us.
138
00:08:44,983 --> 00:08:47,485
[roaring]
139
00:08:48,069 --> 00:08:50,530
Oh, wow!
That was really scary.
140
00:08:50,822 --> 00:08:52,657
[Donkey] If you don't mind me sayin',
if that don't work,
141
00:08:52,741 --> 00:08:54,492
your breath certainly will
get the job done,
142
00:08:54,701 --> 00:08:57,454
'cause you definitely need some Tic Tacs
or something, 'cause your breath stinks!
143
00:08:59,289 --> 00:09:01,166
You almost burned the hair
outta my nose,
144
00:09:01,249 --> 00:09:04,044
just like the time--
[mumbling]
145
00:09:04,169 --> 00:09:05,378
Then I ate some rotten berries.
146
00:09:05,462 --> 00:09:07,756
I had strong gases eking out
of my butt that day.
147
00:09:08,006 --> 00:09:10,425
Why are you following me?
148
00:09:11,468 --> 00:09:12,635
I'll tell you why.
149
00:09:14,804 --> 00:09:16,890
♪ 'Cause I'm all alone ♪
150
00:09:17,265 --> 00:09:20,727
♪ There's no one here beside me ♪
151
00:09:21,061 --> 00:09:23,021
♪ My problems have all gone ♪
152
00:09:23,146 --> 00:09:27,901
♪ There's no one to deride me ♪
153
00:09:28,276 --> 00:09:30,487
♪ But you gotta have friends ♪
154
00:09:30,570 --> 00:09:32,363
Stop singing!
155
00:09:32,989 --> 00:09:35,658
Well, It's no wonder
you don't have any friends.
156
00:09:36,242 --> 00:09:39,079
Wow. Only a true friend
would be that truly honest.
157
00:09:39,162 --> 00:09:43,333
Listen, little donkey.
Take a look at me. What am I?
158
00:09:44,667 --> 00:09:46,336
[Donkey] Uh...
159
00:09:48,379 --> 00:09:51,257
-Really tall?
-No! I'm an ogre.
160
00:09:51,549 --> 00:09:54,511
You know.
"Grab your torch and pitchforks."
161
00:09:55,011 --> 00:09:56,596
Doesn't that bother you?
162
00:09:57,222 --> 00:09:58,598
-[birds chirping]
-Nope.
163
00:09:59,974 --> 00:10:01,768
-Really?
-Really, really.
164
00:10:02,268 --> 00:10:05,146
-Oh.
-Man, I like you. What's your name?
165
00:10:05,605 --> 00:10:08,108
Uh, Shrek.
166
00:10:09,150 --> 00:10:11,986
Shrek? Well, you know
what I like about you, Shrek?
167
00:10:12,320 --> 00:10:15,406
You got that kind of I-don't-care-what-
nobody-thinks-of-me thing.
168
00:10:15,490 --> 00:10:18,326
I like that.
I respect that, Shrek. You all right.
169
00:10:20,453 --> 00:10:24,499
Whoo! Look at that.
Who'd want to live in a place like that?
170
00:10:25,250 --> 00:10:27,127
That would be my home.
171
00:10:27,877 --> 00:10:30,672
Oh! And it is lovely!
Just beautiful.
172
00:10:30,755 --> 00:10:31,923
You know, you are quite a decorator.
173
00:10:32,006 --> 00:10:34,092
It's amazing what you've done
with such a modest budget.
174
00:10:34,634 --> 00:10:37,846
I like that boulder.
That is a nice boulder.
175
00:10:43,518 --> 00:10:45,895
{\an8}I guess you don't
entertain much, do you?
176
00:10:45,979 --> 00:10:47,856
I like my privacy.
177
00:10:48,231 --> 00:10:50,358
You know, I do too.
That's another thing we have in common.
178
00:10:50,441 --> 00:10:52,193
Like, I hate it when
you got somebody in your face.
179
00:10:52,277 --> 00:10:53,945
You're trying to give them a hint,
and they won't leave.
180
00:10:54,028 --> 00:10:56,114
There's that awkward silence, you know.
181
00:11:00,118 --> 00:11:02,203
-Can I stay with you?
-Uh, what?
182
00:11:02,912 --> 00:11:04,956
Can I stay with you, please?
183
00:11:05,582 --> 00:11:07,542
-Of course!
-Really?
184
00:11:07,625 --> 00:11:10,295
-No.
-Please! I don't wanna go back there!
185
00:11:10,378 --> 00:11:14,173
You don't know what it's like to be
considered a freak. Well, maybe you do.
186
00:11:14,257 --> 00:11:16,801
But that's why we gotta stick together.
You gotta let me stay!
187
00:11:16,885 --> 00:11:19,971
Please! Please!
Okay! Okay!
188
00:11:20,263 --> 00:11:22,807
-But one night only.
-Ah! Thank you!
189
00:11:22,891 --> 00:11:24,976
-What are you-- No! No!
-This is gonna be fun!
190
00:11:25,059 --> 00:11:27,020
We can stay up late,
swappin' manly stories,
191
00:11:27,103 --> 00:11:29,397
and in the mornin'
I'm makin' waffles.
192
00:11:29,772 --> 00:11:33,192
-Oh!
-Where do, uh, I sleep?
193
00:11:33,610 --> 00:11:35,153
Outside!
194
00:11:36,154 --> 00:11:38,489
Oh, well,
I guess that's cool.
195
00:11:38,698 --> 00:11:40,450
I mean, I don't know you,
and you don't know me,
196
00:11:40,533 --> 00:11:42,869
so I guess outside
is best, you know.
197
00:11:42,952 --> 00:11:44,954
[sniffles]
Here I go.
198
00:11:48,416 --> 00:11:52,003
Good night.
[sighs]
199
00:11:52,629 --> 00:11:55,256
[Donkey] I mean, I do like the outdoors.
I'm a donkey. I was born outside.
200
00:11:55,340 --> 00:11:56,424
[sighs]
201
00:11:56,549 --> 00:11:59,302
I'll just be sitting by myself
outside, I guess, you know.
202
00:11:59,427 --> 00:12:00,595
By myself, outside.
203
00:12:01,471 --> 00:12:06,100
♪ I'm all aloneThere's no one here beside me ♪
204
00:12:06,726 --> 00:12:09,312
[bubbling]
205
00:12:10,188 --> 00:12:12,732
[instrumental music]
206
00:12:19,530 --> 00:12:20,740
[sighs]
207
00:12:25,828 --> 00:12:26,829
[sighs]
208
00:13:08,788 --> 00:13:10,748
[creaking]
209
00:13:10,832 --> 00:13:13,167
[sighs]
I thought I told you to stay outside.
210
00:13:13,543 --> 00:13:15,670
-[Donkey] i am outside.
-[clattering]
211
00:13:15,753 --> 00:13:19,298
-[footsteps]
-[clattering]
212
00:13:22,510 --> 00:13:26,431
Well, gents, it's a far cry
from the farm, but what choice do we have?
213
00:13:26,514 --> 00:13:29,017
It's not home,
but it'll do just fine.
214
00:13:29,225 --> 00:13:30,977
What a lovely bed.
215
00:13:31,060 --> 00:13:33,104
-Got ya. [sniffs]
-I found some cheese.
216
00:13:33,312 --> 00:13:36,149
-Ow! [grunts]
-Blah! Awful stuff.
217
00:13:36,816 --> 00:13:37,817
[grunts]
218
00:13:37,900 --> 00:13:39,986
-Is that you, Gorder?
-How did you know?
219
00:13:40,069 --> 00:13:43,489
Enough!
What are you doing in my house?
220
00:13:43,573 --> 00:13:45,241
[grunts]
Hey!
221
00:13:45,533 --> 00:13:47,618
-[snickers]
-Oh, no, no, no.
222
00:13:47,702 --> 00:13:49,620
Dead broad off the table.
223
00:13:49,704 --> 00:13:51,873
Where are we supposed to put her?
The bed's taken.
224
00:13:52,248 --> 00:13:55,084
Huh?
[gasps]
225
00:13:56,169 --> 00:13:57,086
What?
226
00:13:57,587 --> 00:14:02,633
I live in a swamp.
I put up signs. I'm a terrifying ogre!
227
00:14:02,717 --> 00:14:05,845
What do I have to do
to get a little privacy?
228
00:14:05,928 --> 00:14:07,889
-Aah!
-Oh, no.
229
00:14:08,931 --> 00:14:10,391
Oh, no.
230
00:14:10,725 --> 00:14:12,894
-No! No!
-[cackling]
231
00:14:14,437 --> 00:14:17,273
-[cackling continues]
-What?
232
00:14:17,398 --> 00:14:19,317
-Quit it.
-Don't push.
233
00:14:19,442 --> 00:14:21,736
[squeaking]
234
00:14:23,738 --> 00:14:26,449
What are you doing
in my swamp?
235
00:14:26,532 --> 00:14:29,160
[echoing]
Swamp! Swamp! Swamp!
236
00:14:29,285 --> 00:14:32,372
-[gasping]
-Oh, dear!
237
00:14:32,622 --> 00:14:33,706
Whoa!
238
00:14:35,333 --> 00:14:37,960
All right, get out of here.
All of you, move it!
239
00:14:38,044 --> 00:14:40,922
Come on! Let's go!
Hapaya! Hapaya! Hey!
240
00:14:41,005 --> 00:14:42,256
-Quickly. Come on!
-No, no!
241
00:14:42,340 --> 00:14:44,258
No, no.
Not there. Not there.
242
00:14:44,342 --> 00:14:47,428
-Oh!
-[sighs]
243
00:14:48,971 --> 00:14:50,848
Hey, don't look at me.
I didn't invite them.
244
00:14:50,932 --> 00:14:52,892
Oh, gosh, no one invited us.
245
00:14:53,017 --> 00:14:55,728
-What?
-We were forced to come here.
246
00:14:55,895 --> 00:14:58,147
-By who?
-Lord Farquaad.
247
00:14:58,648 --> 00:15:02,735
He huffed und he puffed und he...
signed an eviction notice.
248
00:15:02,819 --> 00:15:04,987
[sighs]
All right.
249
00:15:05,822 --> 00:15:09,826
Who knows where
this Farquaad guy is?
250
00:15:11,202 --> 00:15:12,829
-[murmuring] Oh, I do.
-I know where he is.
251
00:15:13,037 --> 00:15:16,582
Does anyone else
know where to find him?
252
00:15:18,543 --> 00:15:20,420
-Anyone at all?
-Me! Me!
253
00:15:20,503 --> 00:15:22,255
-Anyone?
-Oh! Oh, pick me!
254
00:15:22,338 --> 00:15:24,424
Oh, I know!
I know! Me, me!
255
00:15:25,007 --> 00:15:27,510
[sighs]
Okay, fine.
256
00:15:28,136 --> 00:15:32,390
Attention, all fairy tale things.
257
00:15:32,932 --> 00:15:36,978
Do not get comfortable.
Your welcome is officially worn out.
258
00:15:37,061 --> 00:15:41,232
In fact, I'm gonna see
this guy Farquaad right now
259
00:15:41,315 --> 00:15:44,402
and get you all off my land
and back where you came from!
260
00:15:46,028 --> 00:15:49,073
[cheering]
261
00:15:49,198 --> 00:15:52,076
-[birds chirping]
-[cheering continues]
262
00:15:52,201 --> 00:15:54,328
Oh! You!
263
00:15:55,204 --> 00:15:56,622
You're comin' with me.
264
00:15:57,206 --> 00:15:59,500
All right, that's
what I like to hear, man.
265
00:15:59,584 --> 00:16:03,463
Shrek and Donkey, two stalwart friends,
off on a whirlwind big-city adventure.
266
00:16:03,546 --> 00:16:04,714
I love it!
267
00:16:05,423 --> 00:16:06,799
♪ On the road again ♪
268
00:16:06,883 --> 00:16:08,301
Sing it with me Shrek.
269
00:16:08,468 --> 00:16:10,803
♪ I can't wait to getOn the road again ♪
270
00:16:10,887 --> 00:16:13,222
What did I say
about singing?
271
00:16:13,306 --> 00:16:14,557
-Can I whistle?
-No.
272
00:16:14,640 --> 00:16:17,310
-Can I hum it?
-All right, hum it.
273
00:16:17,643 --> 00:16:20,104
[humming]
274
00:16:23,733 --> 00:16:25,193
[grunts]
275
00:16:25,401 --> 00:16:27,487
[intense music playing]
276
00:16:44,212 --> 00:16:47,298
[whimpering]
277
00:16:47,423 --> 00:16:49,884
That's enough.
He's ready to talk.
278
00:16:50,551 --> 00:16:52,386
[coughing]
279
00:16:54,347 --> 00:16:58,976
[laughing]
280
00:16:59,602 --> 00:17:01,687
[clears throat]
281
00:17:03,397 --> 00:17:05,900
Run, run, run,
as fast as you can.
282
00:17:05,983 --> 00:17:09,320
You can't catch me.
I'm the gingerbread man!
283
00:17:09,403 --> 00:17:12,907
-You're a monster.
-I'm not the monster here. You are.
284
00:17:12,990 --> 00:17:17,245
You and the rest of that fairy tale trash,
poisoning my perfect world.
285
00:17:17,787 --> 00:17:19,372
Now, tell me!
Where are the others?
286
00:17:19,455 --> 00:17:21,082
-Eat me!
-[grunts]
287
00:17:21,874 --> 00:17:25,002
I've tried to be fair
to you creatures.
288
00:17:25,086 --> 00:17:28,589
Now my patience
has reached its end! Tell me or I'll--
289
00:17:28,673 --> 00:17:31,467
No, no, not the buttons.
Not my gumdrop buttons.
290
00:17:31,551 --> 00:17:33,511
All right then.
Who's hiding them?
291
00:17:33,761 --> 00:17:39,016
Okay, I'll tell you.
Do you know the muffin man?
292
00:17:39,100 --> 00:17:41,352
-The muffin man?
-The muffin man.
293
00:17:41,602 --> 00:17:44,897
Yes, I know the muffin man,
who lives on Drury Lane?
294
00:17:44,981 --> 00:17:48,401
Well, she's married
to the muffin man.
295
00:17:48,484 --> 00:17:50,653
-The muffin man?
-The muffin man!
296
00:17:50,736 --> 00:17:53,656
-She's married to the muffin man.
-[door opens]
297
00:17:53,739 --> 00:17:55,324
My lord! We found it.
298
00:17:55,700 --> 00:17:58,119
Then what are you waiting for?
Bring it in.
299
00:17:58,744 --> 00:18:00,663
[man grunting]
300
00:18:10,089 --> 00:18:12,550
-[gasping]
-Oh!
301
00:18:13,467 --> 00:18:17,054
-Magic mirror--
-Don't tell him anything!
302
00:18:17,305 --> 00:18:18,848
No!
303
00:18:19,682 --> 00:18:22,476
-[gingerbread man whimpers]
-Evening.
304
00:18:23,436 --> 00:18:25,313
Mirror, mirror, on the wall.
305
00:18:25,396 --> 00:18:28,733
Is this not the most
perfect kingdom of them all?
306
00:18:29,066 --> 00:18:31,527
Well, technically
you're not a king.
307
00:18:31,861 --> 00:18:33,279
Uh, Thelonius.
308
00:18:34,989 --> 00:18:38,367
-You were saying?
-What I mean is, you're not a king yet.
309
00:18:38,618 --> 00:18:42,288
But you can become one.
All you have to do is marry a princess.
310
00:18:43,039 --> 00:18:45,249
-Go on.
-[chuckles]
311
00:18:45,416 --> 00:18:49,003
So, just sit back
and relax, my lord,
312
00:18:49,086 --> 00:18:53,215
because it's time for you to meet
today's eligible bachelorettes.
313
00:18:53,299 --> 00:18:56,719
And here they are!
314
00:18:57,219 --> 00:18:59,847
[mirror] Bachelorette number one is a mentally abused shut-in
315
00:18:59,930 --> 00:19:01,724
from a kingdom far, far away.
316
00:19:01,932 --> 00:19:04,310
She likes sushiand hot tubbing anytime.
317
00:19:04,602 --> 00:19:07,897
Her hobbies include cooking and cleaning for her two evil sisters.
318
00:19:07,980 --> 00:19:11,067
-Please welcome Cinderella.
-[applauds]
319
00:19:11,150 --> 00:19:14,612
Bachelorette number two is a cape-wearing girl from the land of fancy.
320
00:19:14,695 --> 00:19:17,448
Although she lives with
seven other men, she's not easy.
321
00:19:17,531 --> 00:19:21,035
Just kiss her dead, frozen lips and find out what a live wire she is.
322
00:19:21,118 --> 00:19:24,580
Come on.Give it up for Snow White!
323
00:19:24,997 --> 00:19:27,416
And last,but certainly not least,
324
00:19:27,500 --> 00:19:29,627
bachelorette number threeis a fiery redhead...
325
00:19:29,710 --> 00:19:32,254
from a dragon-guarded castle
surrounded by hot boiling lava!
326
00:19:32,338 --> 00:19:33,881
But don't let that cool you off.
327
00:19:33,964 --> 00:19:36,175
She's a loaded pistol who likes pina coladas
328
00:19:36,258 --> 00:19:37,718
and getting caught in the rain.
329
00:19:37,802 --> 00:19:41,472
Yours for the rescuing,Princess Fiona!
330
00:19:42,014 --> 00:19:44,266
So will it bebachelorette number one,
331
00:19:44,350 --> 00:19:47,853
bachelorette number twoor bachelorette number three?
332
00:19:48,145 --> 00:19:50,398
-Two! Two!
-Three! Three!
333
00:19:50,481 --> 00:19:51,774
-Two! Two!
-Three!
334
00:19:51,857 --> 00:19:54,026
Three? One?
[shudders] Three?
335
00:19:54,110 --> 00:19:56,195
Three! Pick number three, my lord!
336
00:19:56,278 --> 00:19:59,532
Okay, okay, uh, number three!
337
00:19:59,907 --> 00:20:04,453
Lord Farquaad,
you've chosen Princess Fiona.
338
00:20:04,745 --> 00:20:07,832
♪ If you love pina coladas ♪
339
00:20:08,124 --> 00:20:09,625
♪ And getting caught in the rain ♪
340
00:20:09,709 --> 00:20:11,794
Princess Fiona.
341
00:20:11,919 --> 00:20:13,045
♪ If you're not into yoga ♪
342
00:20:13,129 --> 00:20:14,046
She's perfect.
343
00:20:14,463 --> 00:20:17,133
All I have to do is
just find someone who can go--
344
00:20:17,216 --> 00:20:19,552
But I probably should mention
the little thing that happens at night.
345
00:20:19,635 --> 00:20:21,178
-I'll do it.
-Yes, but after sunset--
346
00:20:21,262 --> 00:20:25,307
Silence! I will make
this Princess Fiona my queen,
347
00:20:25,599 --> 00:20:29,270
and DuLoc will finally
have the perfect king!
348
00:20:29,687 --> 00:20:31,856
Captain, assemble
your finest men.
349
00:20:32,356 --> 00:20:34,525
We're going to have
a tournament.
350
00:20:38,654 --> 00:20:40,740
{\an8}But that's it.
That's it right there. That's DuLoc.
351
00:20:40,990 --> 00:20:42,408
I told ya I'd find it.
352
00:20:42,616 --> 00:20:46,662
So, that must be
Lord Farquaad's castle.
353
00:20:47,204 --> 00:20:48,873
[Donkey]
Uh-huh. That's the place.
354
00:20:49,457 --> 00:20:52,084
Do you think maybe
he's compensating for something?
355
00:20:52,168 --> 00:20:54,253
[laughs]
356
00:20:54,920 --> 00:20:56,005
[groans]
357
00:20:57,131 --> 00:20:58,758
Hey, wait.
Wait up, Shrek.
358
00:20:59,216 --> 00:21:01,844
Hurry, darling.
We're late. Hurry.
359
00:21:03,763 --> 00:21:06,140
-Hey, you!
-[screams]
360
00:21:06,432 --> 00:21:09,810
Wait a second.
Look, I'm not gonna eat ya.
361
00:21:09,894 --> 00:21:13,439
-I just-- I just--
-[whimpering]
362
00:21:13,522 --> 00:21:14,815
[sighs]
363
00:21:14,899 --> 00:21:19,779
[whimpering and groans]
364
00:21:28,287 --> 00:21:29,455
[turnstile clatters]
365
00:21:32,500 --> 00:21:33,584
[chuckles]
366
00:21:34,376 --> 00:21:35,586
[sighs]
367
00:21:36,295 --> 00:21:40,508
[instrumental music]
368
00:21:44,929 --> 00:21:45,971
It's quiet.
369
00:21:49,099 --> 00:21:50,226
Too quiet.
370
00:21:51,060 --> 00:21:52,645
[creaking]
371
00:21:53,521 --> 00:21:57,399
Where is everybody?
Hey, look at this!
372
00:22:00,110 --> 00:22:03,531
[clattering, whirring]
373
00:22:03,864 --> 00:22:06,492
[clicking]
374
00:22:07,368 --> 00:22:09,245
[clicking quickens]
375
00:22:10,538 --> 00:22:14,291
♪ Welcome to DuLocSuch a perfect town ♪
376
00:22:14,375 --> 00:22:17,628
{\an8}♪ Here we have some rulesLet us lay them down ♪
377
00:22:17,711 --> 00:22:21,757
{\an8}♪ Don't make wavesStay in line and we'll get along fine ♪
378
00:22:21,841 --> 00:22:25,469
♪ DuLoc is a perfect place ♪
379
00:22:25,553 --> 00:22:29,848
♪ Please keep off of the grassShine your shoes Wipe your... face ♪
380
00:22:30,015 --> 00:22:33,561
♪ DuLoc is DuLoc is ♪
381
00:22:33,644 --> 00:22:37,064
♪ DuLoc is a perfect ♪
382
00:22:37,147 --> 00:22:38,774
♪ Place ♪
383
00:22:39,525 --> 00:22:40,401
[camera shutter clicks]
384
00:22:41,151 --> 00:22:43,028
{\an8}[whirring]
385
00:22:45,197 --> 00:22:48,909
Wow! Let's do that again!
386
00:22:48,993 --> 00:22:51,412
No. No.
No, no, no! No.
387
00:22:51,537 --> 00:22:53,872
[trumpet fanfare]
388
00:22:53,956 --> 00:22:56,375
-[crowd cheering]
-[Farquaad] Brave knights.
389
00:22:56,458 --> 00:22:58,586
You are the best and brightest in all the land.
390
00:22:58,669 --> 00:23:00,212
[Donkey humming]
391
00:23:00,671 --> 00:23:03,090
Today one of youshall prove himself--
392
00:23:03,173 --> 00:23:05,426
All right. You're going the right way
for a smacked bottom.
393
00:23:05,676 --> 00:23:07,636
-Sorry about that.
-[cheering]
394
00:23:08,220 --> 00:23:12,808
That champion shall havethe honour-- No, no, the privilege,
395
00:23:13,350 --> 00:23:17,021
to go forth and rescue
the lovely Princess Fiona,
396
00:23:17,271 --> 00:23:20,608
from the fiery keep
of the dragon.
397
00:23:20,858 --> 00:23:25,112
If for any reasonthe winner is unsuccessful,
398
00:23:25,195 --> 00:23:28,032
the first runner-up
will take his place,
399
00:23:28,490 --> 00:23:30,451
and so on and so forth.
400
00:23:31,243 --> 00:23:36,624
Some of you may die,
but it's a sacrifice I am willing to make.
401
00:23:36,832 --> 00:23:39,835
[cheering]
402
00:23:41,920 --> 00:23:44,048
Let the tournament begin!
403
00:23:47,760 --> 00:23:49,595
[gasps]
Oh!
404
00:23:49,678 --> 00:23:52,890
-What is that?
-[gasping]
405
00:23:53,015 --> 00:23:56,727
-It's hideous!
-Ah, that's not very nice.
406
00:23:57,978 --> 00:24:00,147
-It's just a donkey.
-Huh?
407
00:24:00,481 --> 00:24:03,192
Indeed. Knights, new plan!
408
00:24:03,442 --> 00:24:08,030
The one who kills the ogre
will be named champion! Have at him!
409
00:24:08,197 --> 00:24:09,031
[man] Get him!
410
00:24:09,114 --> 00:24:12,785
Oh, hey! Now come on!
Hang on now.
411
00:24:13,452 --> 00:24:14,912
[woman]
Go ahead! Get him!
412
00:24:15,037 --> 00:24:17,706
Can't we just settle this
over a pint?
413
00:24:18,082 --> 00:24:19,458
[man]
Kill the beast!
414
00:24:19,541 --> 00:24:22,294
No? All right then.
415
00:24:24,296 --> 00:24:25,506
Come on!
416
00:24:34,014 --> 00:24:37,226
♪ I don't give a damnAbout my reputation ♪
417
00:24:38,477 --> 00:24:41,313
♪ You're living in the pastIt's a new generation ♪
418
00:24:42,439 --> 00:24:45,401
♪ A girl can dowhat she wants to do ♪
419
00:24:45,484 --> 00:24:47,736
♪ And that's whatI'm gonna do ♪
420
00:24:47,820 --> 00:24:50,948
♪ And I don't give a damnAbout my bad reputation ♪
421
00:24:52,574 --> 00:24:55,577
♪ Oh, no, no, no, no, noNot me ♪
422
00:24:55,661 --> 00:24:57,246
♪ Me, me, me ♪
423
00:24:57,329 --> 00:24:59,039
Hey, Shrek, tag me! Tag me!
424
00:24:59,123 --> 00:25:00,708
♪ And I don't give a damnAbout my reputation ♪
425
00:25:01,959 --> 00:25:04,461
♪ Never said I wantedto improve my station ♪
426
00:25:04,545 --> 00:25:06,255
Ah!
[laughs]
427
00:25:06,338 --> 00:25:07,965
♪ And I'm always feelin' good When I'm having fun ♪
428
00:25:08,048 --> 00:25:08,882
Yeah!
429
00:25:09,007 --> 00:25:11,301
♪ And I don't haveto please no one ♪
430
00:25:11,385 --> 00:25:13,095
The chair!
Give him the chair!
431
00:25:13,178 --> 00:25:14,763
♪ And I don't give a damnAbout my bad reputation ♪
432
00:25:15,889 --> 00:25:19,143
♪ Oh, no, no, no, no, noNot me ♪
433
00:25:19,226 --> 00:25:20,644
♪ Me, me, me ♪
434
00:25:20,728 --> 00:25:23,397
♪ Oh, no, no, no, no ♪
435
00:25:23,480 --> 00:25:26,984
♪ Not me, not me ♪
436
00:25:27,067 --> 00:25:28,235
♪ Not me ♪
437
00:25:28,318 --> 00:25:29,319
[bell dings]
438
00:25:29,403 --> 00:25:32,406
-[cheering]
-[laughs]
439
00:25:32,489 --> 00:25:38,078
Oh, yeah! Ah! Ah!
440
00:25:38,162 --> 00:25:40,664
Thank you!
Thank you very much!
441
00:25:40,873 --> 00:25:43,125
I'm here till Thursday.
Try the veal! Ha, ha!
442
00:25:43,208 --> 00:25:47,963
-[Shrek laughs]
-[crowd gasping, murmuring]
443
00:25:50,007 --> 00:25:51,383
Shall I give
the order, sir?
444
00:25:51,717 --> 00:25:54,928
No, I have a better idea.
445
00:25:55,596 --> 00:26:00,225
People of DuLoc,
I give you our champion!
446
00:26:00,309 --> 00:26:01,727
-[crowd cheering]
-What?
447
00:26:02,853 --> 00:26:04,563
[Farquaad] Congratulations, ogre.
448
00:26:04,730 --> 00:26:08,650
You've won the honour of embarking
on a great and noble quest.
449
00:26:08,859 --> 00:26:13,447
Quest? I'm already on a quest,
a quest to get my swamp back.
450
00:26:13,530 --> 00:26:16,533
-Your swamp?
-Yeah, my swamp!
451
00:26:16,742 --> 00:26:19,411
Where you dumped
those fairy tale creatures!
452
00:26:19,578 --> 00:26:21,538
[crowd murmuring]
Indeed.
453
00:26:22,080 --> 00:26:24,208
All right, ogre,
I'll make you a deal.
454
00:26:24,291 --> 00:26:28,128
Go on this quest for me, and
I'll give you your swamp back.
455
00:26:28,796 --> 00:26:30,923
Exactly the way it was?
456
00:26:31,131 --> 00:26:33,759
Down to the last
slime-covered toadstool.
457
00:26:33,842 --> 00:26:37,054
-And the squatters?
-As good as gone.
458
00:26:40,808 --> 00:26:42,518
What kind of quest?
459
00:26:44,269 --> 00:26:46,730
[Donkey] Let me get this straight.
You're gonna go fight a dragon
460
00:26:46,814 --> 00:26:49,483
and rescue a princess just so Farquaad
will give you back a swamp,
461
00:26:49,566 --> 00:26:50,776
which you only don't have
462
00:26:50,859 --> 00:26:52,444
because he filled it full of freaks
in the first place.
463
00:26:52,528 --> 00:26:53,570
Is that about right?
464
00:26:53,654 --> 00:26:56,990
Maybe there's a good reason
donkeys shouldn't talk.
465
00:26:57,157 --> 00:27:00,786
I don't get it. Why don't you just pull
some of that ogre stuff on him?
466
00:27:00,869 --> 00:27:02,371
Throttle him,
lay siege to his fortress,
467
00:27:02,704 --> 00:27:05,624
grind his bones
to make your bread, the whole ogre trip.
468
00:27:05,707 --> 00:27:07,584
Oh, I know what.
469
00:27:07,668 --> 00:27:10,128
Maybe I could have
decapitated an entire village
470
00:27:10,212 --> 00:27:11,797
and put their heads
on a pike,
471
00:27:12,130 --> 00:27:15,717
gotten a knife, cut open their
spleen and drink their fluids.
472
00:27:16,134 --> 00:27:17,761
Does that sound
good to you?
473
00:27:18,011 --> 00:27:20,514
Uh, no, not really, no.
474
00:27:20,973 --> 00:27:24,726
For your information, there's a lot more
to ogres than people think.
475
00:27:24,935 --> 00:27:27,020
Example?
Example?
476
00:27:27,396 --> 00:27:33,861
-Okay, um, ogres are like onions.
-[sniffs] They stink?
477
00:27:33,944 --> 00:27:35,279
-Yes-- No!
-They make you cry?
478
00:27:35,487 --> 00:27:37,489
-No.
-Oh,You leave them out in the sun,
479
00:27:37,573 --> 00:27:39,449
they get all brown, start sproutin'
little white hairs.
480
00:27:39,575 --> 00:27:41,577
No! Layers!
481
00:27:41,994 --> 00:27:44,288
Onions have layers.
482
00:27:44,371 --> 00:27:46,999
Ogres have layers!
Onions have layers.
483
00:27:47,541 --> 00:27:50,252
You get it? We both have layers.
[sighs]
484
00:27:52,004 --> 00:27:55,090
Oh, you both
have layers. Oh.
485
00:27:55,716 --> 00:27:58,051
[sniffs]
You know, not everybody likes onions.
486
00:27:58,969 --> 00:28:01,847
Cake! Everybody
loves cakes! Cakes have layers.
487
00:28:01,930 --> 00:28:05,142
I don't care...
what everyone likes.
488
00:28:05,684 --> 00:28:08,979
Ogres are not like cakes.
489
00:28:11,773 --> 00:28:13,817
You know what else
everybody likes? Parfaits.
490
00:28:13,901 --> 00:28:16,445
Have you ever met a person, you
say, "Let's get some parfait,"
491
00:28:16,528 --> 00:28:18,071
they say, "No,
I don't like no parfait"?
492
00:28:18,155 --> 00:28:20,032
-Parfaits are delicious.
-No!
493
00:28:20,115 --> 00:28:23,285
You dense, irritating,
miniature beast of burden!
494
00:28:23,368 --> 00:28:26,121
Ogres are like onions!
End of story.
495
00:28:26,204 --> 00:28:28,624
Bye-bye. See ya later.
496
00:28:33,378 --> 00:28:36,715
Parfaits may be the most delicious thing
on the whole damn planet.
497
00:28:36,798 --> 00:28:39,384
[Shrek] You know, I think
I preferred your humming.
498
00:28:39,843 --> 00:28:42,512
[Donkey] Do you have a tissue
or something? I'm making a mess.
499
00:28:42,596 --> 00:28:45,349
Just the word parfait
make me start slobbering.
500
00:28:50,062 --> 00:28:55,901
♪ I'm on my way from miseryTo happiness today ♪
501
00:28:56,026 --> 00:28:58,487
♪ Uh-huh, uh-huhUh-huh, uh-huh ♪
502
00:28:58,570 --> 00:29:04,034
♪ I'm on my way from miseryTo happiness today ♪
503
00:29:04,159 --> 00:29:06,620
♪ Uh-huh, uh-huhUh-huh, uh-huh ♪
504
00:29:06,703 --> 00:29:10,624
♪ And everythingThat you receive up yonder ♪
505
00:29:10,707 --> 00:29:14,544
♪ Is what you give to meThe day I wander ♪
506
00:29:14,795 --> 00:29:16,588
♪ I'm on my way ♪
507
00:29:18,924 --> 00:29:20,884
♪ I'm on my way ♪
508
00:29:23,011 --> 00:29:24,554
♪ I'm on my way ♪
509
00:29:25,180 --> 00:29:27,224
Ooh! Shrek!
Did you do that?
510
00:29:27,683 --> 00:29:30,394
You gotta warn somebody before you just
crack one off.
511
00:29:30,477 --> 00:29:31,561
My mouth was open and everything.
512
00:29:31,645 --> 00:29:34,815
Believe me, Donkey, if
it was me, you'd be dead.
513
00:29:35,399 --> 00:29:37,401
[sniffs]
It's brimstone.
514
00:29:37,985 --> 00:29:40,821
-We must be getting close.
-Yeah, right, brimstone.
515
00:29:41,697 --> 00:29:42,990
Don't be talking about it's the brimstone.
516
00:29:43,073 --> 00:29:45,284
I know what I smell.
It wasn't no brimstone.
517
00:29:45,367 --> 00:29:47,536
It didn't come off
no stone neither.
518
00:29:50,539 --> 00:29:52,958
[rumbling]
519
00:30:05,679 --> 00:30:08,640
Sure, it's big enough,
but look at the location.
520
00:30:08,724 --> 00:30:11,643
[laughing]
521
00:30:11,727 --> 00:30:17,441
Uh, Shrek? Uh, remember when
you said ogres have layers?
522
00:30:17,524 --> 00:30:18,817
Oh, aye.
523
00:30:19,860 --> 00:30:21,945
Well, I have a bit
of a confession to make.
524
00:30:22,362 --> 00:30:25,741
Donkeys don't have layers. We wear our
fear right out there on our sleeves.
525
00:30:25,824 --> 00:30:29,911
-Wait a second. Donkeys don't have sleeves
-You know what I mean.
526
00:30:29,995 --> 00:30:32,622
You can't tell me
you're afraid of heights.
527
00:30:32,706 --> 00:30:35,584
No, I'm just a little uncomfortable
about being on a rickety bridge
528
00:30:35,667 --> 00:30:37,294
over a boiling lake of lava!
529
00:30:37,586 --> 00:30:41,506
Come on, Donkey.
I'm right here beside ya, okay?
530
00:30:41,590 --> 00:30:43,717
For emotional support,
531
00:30:44,092 --> 00:30:48,347
we'll just tackle this thing
together one little baby step at a time.
532
00:30:48,805 --> 00:30:50,432
-Really?
-Really, really.
533
00:30:50,891 --> 00:30:54,144
-Okay, that makes me feel so much better.
-Just keep moving.
534
00:30:54,227 --> 00:30:55,854
And don't look down.
535
00:30:55,937 --> 00:30:58,857
Don't look down. Okay, don't look down.
536
00:30:59,066 --> 00:31:02,486
Don't look down.
Keep on moving. Don't look down.
537
00:31:02,569 --> 00:31:06,239
[gasps]
Shrek! I'm lookin' down!
538
00:31:06,323 --> 00:31:09,159
Oh, God, I can't do this!
Just let me off, please!
539
00:31:09,242 --> 00:31:12,662
-But you're already halfway.
-But I know that half is safe!
540
00:31:12,746 --> 00:31:15,874
Okay, fine.
I don't have time for this. You go back.
541
00:31:15,957 --> 00:31:18,293
-Shrek, no! Wait!
-Just, Donkey--
542
00:31:18,377 --> 00:31:21,546
-Let's have a dance then, shall we?
-Don't do that!
543
00:31:22,089 --> 00:31:24,466
Oh, I'm sorry. Do what?
544
00:31:25,258 --> 00:31:28,387
-Oh, this?
-Yes, that!
545
00:31:28,470 --> 00:31:31,848
Yes? Yes, do it. Okay.
546
00:31:31,932 --> 00:31:34,476
[screams]
No, Shrek!
547
00:31:34,559 --> 00:31:37,687
-No! Stop it! You said do it!
-I'm doin' it.
548
00:31:37,813 --> 00:31:40,899
I'm gonna die.
I'm gonna die. Shrek, I'm gonna die.
549
00:31:41,942 --> 00:31:42,901
Oh!
550
00:31:44,486 --> 00:31:46,947
That'll do, Donkey.
That'll do.
551
00:31:52,077 --> 00:31:53,161
Cool.
552
00:31:54,454 --> 00:31:57,249
[Donkey] So where is this fire-breathing
pain-in-the-neck anyway?
553
00:31:57,332 --> 00:31:59,876
Inside, waiting for us
to rescue her.
554
00:31:59,960 --> 00:32:03,171
[chuckles]
I was talkin' about the dragon, Shrek.
555
00:32:05,132 --> 00:32:07,175
[water dripping]
556
00:32:09,094 --> 00:32:11,179
[wind howling]
557
00:32:20,439 --> 00:32:21,398
[Donkey whispering]
You afraid?
558
00:32:21,481 --> 00:32:24,776
No, but-- Shh.
559
00:32:24,860 --> 00:32:27,904
Oh, good. Me neither.
[gasps]
560
00:32:29,072 --> 00:32:31,658
'Cause there's nothin'
wrong with bein' afraid.
561
00:32:31,741 --> 00:32:34,911
Fear's a sensible response
to an unfamiliar situation.
562
00:32:34,995 --> 00:32:37,038
Unfamiliar dangerous
situation, I might add.
563
00:32:37,122 --> 00:32:39,708
With a dragon that breathes fire and
eats knights and breathes fire,
564
00:32:39,791 --> 00:32:41,376
it sure doesn't mean you're a coward
565
00:32:41,460 --> 00:32:43,086
if you're a little scared you
know what I mean.
566
00:32:43,712 --> 00:32:47,466
I sure as heck ain't
no coward. I know that. [gasps]
567
00:32:47,883 --> 00:32:51,011
Donkey, two things, okay?
568
00:32:51,595 --> 00:32:53,388
Shut... up.
569
00:32:54,055 --> 00:32:56,433
Now go over there
and see if you can find any stairs.
570
00:32:56,516 --> 00:32:59,102
Stairs? I thought
we was lookin' for the princess.
571
00:32:59,186 --> 00:33:04,065
The princess will be up the stairs in
the highest room in the tallest tower.
572
00:33:04,357 --> 00:33:07,235
-What makes you think she'll be there?
-I read it in a book once.
573
00:33:08,487 --> 00:33:11,698
Cool. You handle the dragon.
I'll handle the stairs.
574
00:33:12,032 --> 00:33:14,618
I'll find those stairs.
I'll whip their butt too.
575
00:33:14,701 --> 00:33:16,912
That's right. Those stairs won't know
which way they're goin'.
576
00:33:17,287 --> 00:33:20,957
[creaking]
577
00:33:22,125 --> 00:33:23,293
I'm gonna take drastic steps.
578
00:33:23,376 --> 00:33:26,171
Kick it to the kerb.
Don't mess with me. I'm the stair master.
579
00:33:26,254 --> 00:33:28,965
I've mastered the stairs. I wish I had
a step right here, right here.
580
00:33:29,049 --> 00:33:30,383
I'd step all over it.
581
00:33:32,302 --> 00:33:33,678
[growling]
582
00:33:34,137 --> 00:33:37,682
Well, at least we know
where the princess is, but where's the--
583
00:33:37,766 --> 00:33:41,978
Dragon!
[screams]
584
00:33:43,146 --> 00:33:44,189
[gasps]
585
00:33:50,445 --> 00:33:52,280
[roars]
586
00:33:55,617 --> 00:33:58,119
Donkey, look out!
[screams]
587
00:33:59,120 --> 00:34:00,914
[screams]
588
00:34:05,544 --> 00:34:07,420
[whimpering]
589
00:34:09,506 --> 00:34:11,550
-Got ya!
-[roars]
590
00:34:11,633 --> 00:34:12,842
[gasps]
591
00:34:14,761 --> 00:34:18,723
[shouts]
Whoa! Whoa! Whoa!
592
00:34:20,141 --> 00:34:22,018
[screaming]
593
00:34:31,319 --> 00:34:33,154
[gasps]
594
00:34:33,989 --> 00:34:37,867
Oh! Aah! Aah!
595
00:34:38,743 --> 00:34:40,745
[gasping]
596
00:34:43,498 --> 00:34:46,084
[growls]
597
00:34:47,294 --> 00:34:49,838
No. Oh, no. No!
[screams]
598
00:34:50,171 --> 00:34:53,758
-Oh, what large teeth you have.
-[growls]
599
00:34:53,842 --> 00:34:57,679
I mean, white, sparkling teeth. I know you
probably hear this all the time
600
00:34:57,762 --> 00:34:59,347
from your food, but you must bleach,
or something,
601
00:34:59,431 --> 00:35:02,100
'cause that is one dazzling smile
you got there.
602
00:35:02,183 --> 00:35:04,060
Do I detect a hint
of minty freshness?
603
00:35:05,228 --> 00:35:09,357
And you know what else?
You're-- You're a girl dragon!
604
00:35:09,441 --> 00:35:14,237
Oh, sure!
I mean, of course you're a girl dragon.
605
00:35:14,321 --> 00:35:17,866
'Cause, you're just reeking
of feminine beauty.
606
00:35:17,949 --> 00:35:20,327
Uh, what's the matter with you?
You got something in your eye?
607
00:35:21,036 --> 00:35:23,747
Ooh. Oh. Oh.
608
00:35:23,830 --> 00:35:26,207
Man, I'd really love to stay,
but, you know, I'm, uh-- [coughs]
609
00:35:26,291 --> 00:35:27,959
I'm an asthmatic, and I don't know
if it'd work out
610
00:35:28,043 --> 00:35:29,836
if you're gonna blow
smoke rings and stuff.
611
00:35:30,420 --> 00:35:31,796
Shrek!
[gasps]
612
00:35:32,422 --> 00:35:35,717
[whimpering]
No! Shrek! Shrek!
613
00:35:36,217 --> 00:35:37,344
Shrek!
614
00:35:38,261 --> 00:35:41,097
[groans, sighs]
615
00:35:41,931 --> 00:35:45,560
[chorus vocalizing]
616
00:35:49,606 --> 00:35:52,859
[vocalizing continues]
617
00:36:06,623 --> 00:36:09,000
[vocalizing continues]
618
00:36:09,834 --> 00:36:10,835
Oh! Oh!
619
00:36:10,919 --> 00:36:12,253
-Wake up!
-What?
620
00:36:12,629 --> 00:36:14,297
Are you Princess Fiona?
621
00:36:15,090 --> 00:36:19,636
I am, awaiting a knight
so bold as to rescue me.
622
00:36:19,719 --> 00:36:21,888
Oh, that's nice.
Now let's go!
623
00:36:21,971 --> 00:36:23,765
But wait, Sir Knight.
624
00:36:24,015 --> 00:36:25,809
This be-ith our first meeting.
625
00:36:26,393 --> 00:36:30,021
Should it not be
a wonderful, romantic moment?
626
00:36:30,105 --> 00:36:34,484
-Yeah, sorry, lady. There's no time.
-Hey, wait. What are you doing?
627
00:36:34,818 --> 00:36:36,820
You should sweep me
off my feet,
628
00:36:36,945 --> 00:36:40,031
out yonder window
and down a rope onto your valiant steed.
629
00:36:40,448 --> 00:36:43,243
You've had a lot of time
to plan this, haven't you?
630
00:36:43,326 --> 00:36:45,704
-Mmm-hmm.
-[screams, grunts]
631
00:36:47,288 --> 00:36:49,749
But we have to
savour this moment!
632
00:36:50,291 --> 00:36:52,961
You could recite
an epic poem for me.
633
00:36:53,169 --> 00:36:55,463
A ballad? A sonnet!
634
00:36:55,547 --> 00:36:59,050
-A limerick? Or something!
-I don't think so.
635
00:36:59,342 --> 00:37:03,555
Well, can I at least know
the name of my champion?
636
00:37:03,722 --> 00:37:05,598
Um, Shrek.
637
00:37:06,433 --> 00:37:08,685
Sir Shrek.
[clears throat]
638
00:37:09,644 --> 00:37:14,065
I pray that you take this favour
as a token of my gratitude.
639
00:37:15,567 --> 00:37:16,484
Thanks!
640
00:37:19,279 --> 00:37:20,613
[roaring]
641
00:37:21,322 --> 00:37:23,283
You didn't slay the dragon?
642
00:37:23,366 --> 00:37:25,493
-It's on my to-do list. Now come on!
-[screams]
643
00:37:25,660 --> 00:37:27,537
[Fiona] But this isn't right!
644
00:37:28,037 --> 00:37:30,582
You were meant to charge in,
sword drawn, banner flying.
645
00:37:30,999 --> 00:37:32,917
That's what all
the other knights did.
646
00:37:33,001 --> 00:37:35,503
[Shrek] Yeah, right before
they burst into flame.
647
00:37:35,587 --> 00:37:37,964
That's not the point. Oh!
648
00:37:38,673 --> 00:37:41,342
Wait. Where are you going?
The exit's over there.
649
00:37:41,509 --> 00:37:43,511
Well, I have to save my ass.
650
00:37:43,887 --> 00:37:46,598
What kind of knight are you?
651
00:37:47,390 --> 00:37:48,433
One of a kind.
652
00:37:49,476 --> 00:37:51,853
[Donkey]
Slow down. Slow down, baby, please.
653
00:37:51,936 --> 00:37:55,607
I believe it's healthy to get to know
someone over a long period of time.
654
00:37:55,899 --> 00:37:58,902
Just call me old-fashioned, you know.
[laughs]
655
00:37:59,277 --> 00:38:02,071
I don't want to rush into
a physical relationship.
656
00:38:02,614 --> 00:38:06,075
I'm not emotionally ready for
a commitment of, uh, this, uh--
657
00:38:06,201 --> 00:38:08,286
Magnitude really is
the word I'm looking for.
658
00:38:08,369 --> 00:38:11,915
Magnitude--Hey, that is
unwanted physical contact.
659
00:38:11,998 --> 00:38:13,500
Hey, what are you doing?
660
00:38:14,209 --> 00:38:17,796
Okay, okay. Let's just back up a little
and take this one step at a time.
661
00:38:17,879 --> 00:38:22,091
We really should get to know each other
first as friends or pen pals.
662
00:38:22,175 --> 00:38:25,678
'Cause I'm on the road a lot,
but I just love receiving cards--
663
00:38:26,054 --> 00:38:28,932
Hey, you know I'd really love
to stay, but--
664
00:38:29,015 --> 00:38:31,017
Hey, hey! Don't do that!
That's my tail! That's my personal tail.
665
00:38:31,100 --> 00:38:33,603
You're gonna tear it off.
I don't give permission--
666
00:38:33,686 --> 00:38:35,063
What are you gonna do with that?
667
00:38:35,897 --> 00:38:38,942
Hey, now. No way.
No! No!
668
00:38:39,025 --> 00:38:42,070
No, no! No.
No, no, no! No! Oh!
669
00:38:46,783 --> 00:38:48,910
[growls]
670
00:38:51,621 --> 00:38:53,748
[roars]
671
00:39:07,178 --> 00:39:08,638
-[roaring]
-[gasps]
672
00:39:08,721 --> 00:39:10,181
-Hi, Princess!
-It talks!
673
00:39:10,265 --> 00:39:12,642
Yeah, it's getting him
to shut up that's the trick.
674
00:39:14,644 --> 00:39:16,062
[screams]
675
00:39:17,188 --> 00:39:18,565
[screaming]
676
00:39:19,816 --> 00:39:21,025
Oh!
677
00:39:21,442 --> 00:39:22,610
[thuds]
[groans]
678
00:39:22,986 --> 00:39:25,446
[Shrek groans]
679
00:39:26,489 --> 00:39:28,157
[roars]
680
00:39:31,619 --> 00:39:33,037
[roars]
681
00:39:34,998 --> 00:39:37,625
[roaring]
682
00:39:39,502 --> 00:39:41,045
[roars]
683
00:39:50,096 --> 00:39:52,265
Okay, you two,
head for the exit!
684
00:39:54,017 --> 00:39:55,685
I'll take care of the dragon.
685
00:40:02,275 --> 00:40:08,907
[echoing]
Run!
686
00:40:17,373 --> 00:40:18,791
[gasping]
687
00:40:21,127 --> 00:40:22,253
[screaming]
688
00:40:23,379 --> 00:40:25,089
[roaring]
689
00:40:28,509 --> 00:40:31,679
-[screams]
-[roars]
690
00:40:35,391 --> 00:40:37,435
[panting, sighs]
691
00:40:39,187 --> 00:40:40,355
[whimpers]
692
00:40:41,230 --> 00:40:42,607
[roars]
693
00:40:45,526 --> 00:40:47,612
[roars, whimpers]
694
00:40:48,696 --> 00:40:53,826
-[dragon growling in the distance]
-You did it!
695
00:40:54,035 --> 00:40:56,955
You rescued me!
You're amazing. You're--
696
00:40:57,038 --> 00:40:59,582
You're wonderful. You're...
697
00:41:00,875 --> 00:41:02,877
a little unorthodox I'll admit.
698
00:41:03,002 --> 00:41:07,632
But thy deed is great,
and thine heart is pure.
699
00:41:08,216 --> 00:41:11,427
-I am eternally in your debt.
-[clears throat]
700
00:41:12,387 --> 00:41:16,099
And where would
a brave knight be without his noble steed?
701
00:41:16,474 --> 00:41:19,060
I hope you heard that.
She called me a noble steed.
702
00:41:19,560 --> 00:41:20,728
She thinks I'm a steed.
703
00:41:20,812 --> 00:41:24,065
[Fiona laughs]
The battle is won.
704
00:41:24,232 --> 00:41:26,693
You may remove your helmet,
good Sir Knight.
705
00:41:26,859 --> 00:41:29,487
-Uh, no.
-Why not?
706
00:41:29,570 --> 00:41:31,698
I have helmet hair.
707
00:41:31,906 --> 00:41:35,159
Please. I would'st look
upon the face of my rescuer.
708
00:41:35,243 --> 00:41:37,662
No, no, you wouldn't-- 'st.
709
00:41:37,787 --> 00:41:40,415
But how will you kiss me?
710
00:41:40,581 --> 00:41:44,210
What? That wasn't
in the job description.
711
00:41:45,086 --> 00:41:46,045
Maybe it's a perk.
712
00:41:46,295 --> 00:41:50,758
No, it's destiny.
Oh, you must know how it goes.
713
00:41:51,175 --> 00:41:54,846
A princess locked in a tower
and beset by a dragon...
714
00:41:54,929 --> 00:41:57,140
is rescued by a brave knight,
715
00:41:58,099 --> 00:42:00,977
and then they share
true love's first kiss.
716
00:42:01,269 --> 00:42:03,730
Hmm? With Shrek?
You think-- Wait.
717
00:42:03,813 --> 00:42:06,566
Wait. You think that
Shrek is your true love?
718
00:42:06,941 --> 00:42:09,110
Well, yes.
719
00:42:10,611 --> 00:42:12,697
[both laughing]
720
00:42:12,780 --> 00:42:14,365
You think Shrek
is your true love!
721
00:42:15,450 --> 00:42:17,326
What is so funny?
722
00:42:17,660 --> 00:42:20,621
Let's just say I'm
not your type, okay?
723
00:42:20,830 --> 00:42:23,624
Of course, you are.
You're my rescuer.
724
00:42:24,167 --> 00:42:26,294
Now-- Now remove your helmet.
725
00:42:26,377 --> 00:42:29,172
Look. I really don't think
this is a good idea.
726
00:42:29,255 --> 00:42:31,257
-Just take off the helmet.
-I'm not going to.
727
00:42:31,340 --> 00:42:32,508
-Take it off.
-No!
728
00:42:32,592 --> 00:42:34,135
-Now!
-Okay!
729
00:42:34,385 --> 00:42:38,389
Easy. As you command,
Your Highness.
730
00:42:49,317 --> 00:42:52,445
You-- You're a-- an ogre.
731
00:42:53,654 --> 00:42:56,574
Oh, you were expecting
Prince Charming.
732
00:42:56,657 --> 00:42:58,993
Well, yes, actually.
733
00:42:59,368 --> 00:43:00,244
[panting]
734
00:43:00,787 --> 00:43:03,998
Oh, no. This is all wrong.
735
00:43:04,290 --> 00:43:06,042
You're not supposed
to be an ogre.
736
00:43:06,918 --> 00:43:11,881
[sighs] Princess, I was sent to rescue
you by Lord Farquaad, okay?
737
00:43:12,215 --> 00:43:14,050
He's the one
who wants to marry you.
738
00:43:14,258 --> 00:43:16,135
Then why didn't
he come rescue me?
739
00:43:16,594 --> 00:43:19,388
Good question.
You should ask him that when we get there.
740
00:43:20,181 --> 00:43:22,725
But I have to be rescued
by my true love,
741
00:43:23,518 --> 00:43:26,020
not by some ogre
and his-- his pet.
742
00:43:26,646 --> 00:43:28,481
Well, so much for noble steed.
743
00:43:28,564 --> 00:43:31,067
Look princess, you're not making
my job any easier.
744
00:43:31,150 --> 00:43:33,861
I'm sorry, but your job
is not my problem.
745
00:43:34,737 --> 00:43:39,867
You can tell Lord Farquaad
that if he wants to rescue me properly,
746
00:43:40,159 --> 00:43:42,453
I'll be waiting for him
right here.
747
00:43:42,537 --> 00:43:47,667
Hey! I'm no one's messenger boy,
all right? I'm a delivery boy.
748
00:43:47,917 --> 00:43:49,252
You wouldn't dare.
749
00:43:49,627 --> 00:43:52,296
-[shrieks] Put me down!
-Ya comin', Donkey?
750
00:43:52,380 --> 00:43:53,589
I'm right behind ya.
751
00:43:53,923 --> 00:43:57,468
Put me down, or you will
suffer the consequences!
752
00:43:57,552 --> 00:44:02,014
This is not dignified!
Put me down! [screams]
753
00:44:04,100 --> 00:44:05,351
[Donkey] Okay, so here's
another question.
754
00:44:05,560 --> 00:44:08,479
Say there's a woman that digs you, right,
but you don't really like her that way.
755
00:44:08,563 --> 00:44:10,815
How do you let her down
real easy so her feelings aren't hurt,
756
00:44:10,898 --> 00:44:13,359
but you don't get burned to a crisp
and eaten? How you do that?
757
00:44:13,734 --> 00:44:15,945
You just tell her
she's not your true love.
758
00:44:16,237 --> 00:44:18,948
Everyone knowest what happens
when you find your--
759
00:44:19,115 --> 00:44:21,701
Hey!
[sighs]
760
00:44:22,034 --> 00:44:23,995
The sooner we get
to DuLoc the better.
761
00:44:24,162 --> 00:44:27,039
Oh, you're gonna love it there,
Princess. It's beautiful!
762
00:44:27,248 --> 00:44:30,459
And what of my groom-to-be?
Lord Farquaad? What's he like?
763
00:44:30,543 --> 00:44:32,587
Well, Let me put it this way,
Princess.
764
00:44:32,670 --> 00:44:33,671
[shrieks]
765
00:44:33,880 --> 00:44:37,967
Men of Farquaad's stature
are in short supply.
766
00:44:38,050 --> 00:44:39,051
[laughs]
767
00:44:39,135 --> 00:44:42,638
I don't know.
There are those who think little of him.
768
00:44:42,722 --> 00:44:45,391
[both laughing]
769
00:44:45,558 --> 00:44:47,977
Stop it. Stop it,
both of you.
770
00:44:48,394 --> 00:44:53,399
You're just jealous you can never measure
up to a great ruler like Lord Farquaad.
771
00:44:53,482 --> 00:44:56,068
Yeah, well, maybe
you're right, Princess.
772
00:44:56,527 --> 00:44:59,947
But I'll let you do the "measuring" when
you see him tomorrow.
773
00:45:00,031 --> 00:45:03,951
Tomorrow?
It'll take that long?
774
00:45:04,619 --> 00:45:08,372
-Shouldn't we stop to make camp?
-No, that'll take longer.
775
00:45:08,915 --> 00:45:13,336
-We can keep going.
-But there's robbers in the woods.
776
00:45:13,502 --> 00:45:16,881
Whoa! Time out, Shrek!
Camping's starting to sound good.
777
00:45:16,964 --> 00:45:20,885
Hey, come on. I'm scarier than anything
we're going to see in this forest.
778
00:45:20,968 --> 00:45:23,346
I need to find
somewhere to camp now!
779
00:45:23,804 --> 00:45:25,598
[bird wings fluttering]
780
00:45:28,643 --> 00:45:30,061
[grunting]
781
00:45:30,269 --> 00:45:34,440
-Hey! Over here.
-Shrek, we can do better than that.
782
00:45:34,523 --> 00:45:36,651
I don't think
this is fit for a princess.
783
00:45:37,151 --> 00:45:40,154
No, no, it's perfect.
It just needs a few homey touches.
784
00:45:40,237 --> 00:45:44,825
-Homey touches? Like what?
-[crashing]
785
00:45:44,992 --> 00:45:49,455
A door? Well, gentlemen,
I bid thee good night.
786
00:45:49,538 --> 00:45:52,041
You want me to read you
a bedtime story? I will.
787
00:45:52,124 --> 00:45:53,292
[Fiona] I said good night!
788
00:45:57,004 --> 00:45:58,255
Shrek, what are you doing?
789
00:45:58,673 --> 00:46:02,051
[laughs]
I just-- You know-- Oh, come on.
790
00:46:02,134 --> 00:46:03,469
I was just kidding.
791
00:46:08,015 --> 00:46:09,767
[fire crackling]
792
00:46:09,850 --> 00:46:13,229
[Shrek] And, uh, that one,
that's Throwback,
793
00:46:13,521 --> 00:46:16,732
the only ogre to ever spit
over three wheat fields.
794
00:46:17,191 --> 00:46:18,859
Right. Yeah.
795
00:46:21,028 --> 00:46:22,989
Hey, can you tell my future
from these stars?
796
00:46:23,072 --> 00:46:26,659
The stars don't tell
the future, Donkey. They tell stories.
797
00:46:26,993 --> 00:46:30,037
Look, there's Bloodnut,
the Flatulent.
798
00:46:30,371 --> 00:46:34,083
-You can guess what he's famous for.
-I know you're making this up.
799
00:46:34,291 --> 00:46:36,919
No, look.
There he is,
800
00:46:37,003 --> 00:46:40,089
and there's the group
of hunters running away from his stench.
801
00:46:40,172 --> 00:46:42,299
That ain't nothin' but
a bunch of little dots.
802
00:46:42,842 --> 00:46:46,053
You know Donkey, sometimes things are
more than they appear.
803
00:46:47,096 --> 00:46:48,139
Hmm?
804
00:46:49,098 --> 00:46:50,099
Forget it.
805
00:46:52,977 --> 00:46:53,894
[sighs]
806
00:46:54,437 --> 00:46:57,565
Hey, Shrek, what we gonna do
when we get our swamp anyway?
807
00:46:58,232 --> 00:46:59,233
Our swamp?
808
00:46:59,316 --> 00:47:01,944
You know, when we're through
rescuing the princess and all that stuff.
809
00:47:02,028 --> 00:47:05,948
We? Donkey, there's no "we."
There's no "our."
810
00:47:06,198 --> 00:47:08,367
There's just me and my swamp.
811
00:47:08,993 --> 00:47:12,329
The first thing I'm gonna do
is build a ten-foot wall around my land.
812
00:47:14,415 --> 00:47:15,833
You cut me deep, Shrek.
813
00:47:15,958 --> 00:47:17,501
You cut me real deep just now.
814
00:47:19,503 --> 00:47:20,713
You know what I think?
815
00:47:20,796 --> 00:47:24,383
I think this whole wall thing
is just a way to keep somebody out.
816
00:47:24,550 --> 00:47:28,721
-No, do ya think?
-Are you hidin' something?
817
00:47:29,055 --> 00:47:30,514
Never mind, Donkey.
818
00:47:31,348 --> 00:47:34,393
Oh, this is another one of
those onion things, isn't it?
819
00:47:34,518 --> 00:47:38,105
No, this is one of those drop-it
and leave-it-alone things.
820
00:47:38,189 --> 00:47:41,650
-Why don't you want to talk about it?
-Why do you want to talk about it?
821
00:47:41,734 --> 00:47:43,527
Why are you blocking?
I'm not blocking.
822
00:47:43,611 --> 00:47:45,863
Oh, yes, you are.
Donkey, I'm warning you.
823
00:47:45,946 --> 00:47:49,658
-Who you trying to keep out?
-Everyone! Okay?
824
00:47:51,077 --> 00:47:52,995
Oh, now we're gettin' somewhere.
825
00:47:53,079 --> 00:47:55,414
Oh! For the love of Pete!
826
00:47:56,290 --> 00:47:59,085
What's your problem? What you got
against the whole world anyway, huh?
827
00:47:59,168 --> 00:48:01,670
Look, I'm not the one
with the problem, okay?
828
00:48:01,754 --> 00:48:04,256
It's the world that seems
to have a problem with me.
829
00:48:04,715 --> 00:48:08,594
People take one look at me
and go, "Aah! Help! Run!
830
00:48:08,677 --> 00:48:10,888
A big, stupid, ugly ogre!"
831
00:48:12,556 --> 00:48:15,559
[sighs]
They judge me before they even know me.
832
00:48:16,811 --> 00:48:18,771
That's why
I'm better off alone.
833
00:48:27,655 --> 00:48:28,864
You know what?
834
00:48:28,948 --> 00:48:32,868
When we met, I didn't think you was
just a big, stupid, ugly ogre.
835
00:48:34,787 --> 00:48:35,871
Yeah, I know.
836
00:48:37,790 --> 00:48:40,709
So, uh, are there
any donkeys up there?
837
00:48:41,085 --> 00:48:44,004
Well, there's, um, Gabby,
838
00:48:44,797 --> 00:48:46,298
the Small and Annoying.
839
00:48:46,924 --> 00:48:50,928
Okay, okay, I see it now, yeah. The big
shiny one, right there. That one there?
840
00:48:52,138 --> 00:48:54,515
-That's the moon.
-Oh, okay.
841
00:49:13,909 --> 00:49:15,870
[dulcimer playing on mirror]
842
00:49:17,413 --> 00:49:19,081
[Farquaad]
Again. Show me again.
843
00:49:19,165 --> 00:49:22,042
[music stops and rewinds]
844
00:49:23,252 --> 00:49:26,922
Mirror, mirror, show her to me.
Show me the princess.
845
00:49:27,298 --> 00:49:30,384
-Hmph.
-[rewinds, resumes]
846
00:49:31,886 --> 00:49:36,515
Ah. Perfect.
[inhales]
847
00:49:43,647 --> 00:49:45,774
[snoring]
848
00:49:53,949 --> 00:49:56,744
[vocalizing]
849
00:49:56,827 --> 00:49:59,872
[vocalizing continues]
850
00:50:00,164 --> 00:50:02,833
[whistling]
851
00:50:03,083 --> 00:50:05,586
[whistling continues]
852
00:50:06,253 --> 00:50:09,298
-[vocalizes]
-[whistles]
853
00:50:09,381 --> 00:50:12,426
-[vocalizes]
-[whistles]
854
00:50:12,509 --> 00:50:15,763
-[vocalizing]
-[whistling]
855
00:50:15,846 --> 00:50:17,556
[vocalizing,
high-pitched]
856
00:50:17,640 --> 00:50:19,225
[whistling,
high-pitched]
857
00:50:20,226 --> 00:50:21,477
[bursts]
858
00:50:23,938 --> 00:50:25,397
[sizzling]
859
00:50:32,613 --> 00:50:36,909
[sniffs]
[yawns]
860
00:50:39,870 --> 00:50:42,164
[Donkey] Mmm, yeah, you know
I like it like that.
861
00:50:42,873 --> 00:50:47,086
-Come on, baby. I said I like it.
-Donkey, wake up.
862
00:50:47,169 --> 00:50:49,713
-Huh? What?
-Wake up.
863
00:50:50,297 --> 00:50:51,632
-What?
-[Fiona] Good morning.
864
00:50:52,424 --> 00:50:54,677
Um, how do you like your eggs?
865
00:50:54,843 --> 00:50:58,764
-Good morning, Princess!
-What's all this about?
866
00:50:58,847 --> 00:51:02,851
You know, we kind of got off
to a bad start yesterday and...
867
00:51:03,185 --> 00:51:04,770
I wanted to make it up to you.
868
00:51:04,853 --> 00:51:08,857
I mean, after all, you did rescue me.
869
00:51:09,775 --> 00:51:13,028
-Uh, thanks.
-[sniffs]
870
00:51:13,112 --> 00:51:16,240
Well, eat up.
We've got a big day ahead of us.
871
00:51:21,537 --> 00:51:23,163
-[belches]
-Shrek!
872
00:51:23,247 --> 00:51:24,957
What? It's a compliment.
873
00:51:25,249 --> 00:51:28,127
Better out than in,
I always say. [laughs]
874
00:51:28,210 --> 00:51:29,837
Well, it's no way to behave
in front of a princess.
875
00:51:29,920 --> 00:51:30,879
[belches]
876
00:51:32,047 --> 00:51:34,508
-Thanks.
-She's as nasty as you are.
877
00:51:34,591 --> 00:51:35,801
[laughs]
878
00:51:35,884 --> 00:51:39,388
You know, you're not exactly
what I expected.
879
00:51:39,471 --> 00:51:43,475
Well, maybe you shouldn't
judge people before you get to know them.
880
00:51:44,935 --> 00:51:47,313
[vocalizing]
881
00:51:47,396 --> 00:51:50,149
[man]
La liberte! Hey!
882
00:51:50,232 --> 00:51:51,066
Princess!
883
00:51:51,150 --> 00:51:54,403
-[laughs]
-What are you doing?
884
00:51:54,486 --> 00:51:57,823
Be still, mon cherie,
for I am your saviour!
885
00:51:57,906 --> 00:52:01,785
And I am rescuing you
from this green-- [kissing sounds]
886
00:52:02,619 --> 00:52:04,872
-beast.
-[Shrek] Hey!
887
00:52:04,955 --> 00:52:07,750
That's my princess!
Go find your own!
888
00:52:07,916 --> 00:52:12,838
Please, monster!
Can't you see I'm a little busy here?
889
00:52:12,921 --> 00:52:16,258
Look, pal, I don't know
who you think you are!
890
00:52:16,342 --> 00:52:18,719
Oh! Of course!
Oh, how rude.
891
00:52:18,802 --> 00:52:20,888
Please let me
introduce myself.
892
00:52:20,971 --> 00:52:23,849
Oh, Merry Men!
[laughs]
893
00:52:23,974 --> 00:52:27,853
[accordion playing]
894
00:52:27,936 --> 00:52:30,022
♪ Ta dah dah dah whoo ♪
895
00:52:30,105 --> 00:52:32,316
♪ I steal from the richAnd give to the needy ♪
896
00:52:32,399 --> 00:52:34,234
-♪ He takes a wee percentage ♪-♪ But I'm not greedy ♪
897
00:52:34,318 --> 00:52:36,028
♪ I rescue pretty damselsMan I'm good ♪
898
00:52:36,111 --> 00:52:39,073
-♪ What a guy Monsieur Hood-♪ Break it down ♪
899
00:52:42,951 --> 00:52:45,371
♪ I like an honest fightAnd a saucy little maid ♪
900
00:52:45,454 --> 00:52:46,830
♪ What he's basically saying is He likes to get-- ♪
901
00:52:46,914 --> 00:52:47,915
♪ Paid ♪
902
00:52:47,998 --> 00:52:50,501
♪ So when an ogre in the bushGrabs a lady by the tush ♪
903
00:52:50,584 --> 00:52:52,795
-♪ That's bad ♪-♪ That's bad, that's bad, that's bad ♪
904
00:52:52,878 --> 00:52:55,756
♪ When a beauty's with a beastit makes me awfully mad ♪
905
00:52:55,839 --> 00:52:57,174
♪ He's madHe's really really mad ♪
906
00:52:57,257 --> 00:52:59,301
♪ I'll take my blade andRam it through your heart ♪
907
00:52:59,468 --> 00:53:04,223
♪ Keep your eyes on me boys'cause I'm about to start ♪
908
00:53:04,306 --> 00:53:06,266
-[grunts]
-[groans]
909
00:53:06,350 --> 00:53:09,019
-[karate yell]
-[merry men gasping]
910
00:53:09,478 --> 00:53:12,022
[panting]
Man, that was annoying!
911
00:53:12,106 --> 00:53:13,607
Oh, you little--
912
00:53:24,118 --> 00:53:26,245
[karate yell]
913
00:53:29,248 --> 00:53:32,876
[accordion playing]
914
00:53:35,712 --> 00:53:37,589
-[shouting]
-[groaning]
915
00:53:38,590 --> 00:53:40,467
[groaning]
916
00:53:41,260 --> 00:53:43,595
[chuckles]
Um, shall we?
917
00:53:45,973 --> 00:53:47,975
-Hold the phone.
-[grunts]
918
00:53:49,184 --> 00:53:52,062
Oh! Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Hold on now.
919
00:53:52,146 --> 00:53:54,022
-Where did that come from?
-What?
920
00:53:54,106 --> 00:53:56,984
That! Back there.
That was amazing!
921
00:53:57,317 --> 00:53:58,527
[Shrek] Where did you learn that?
922
00:53:58,902 --> 00:54:02,072
Well-- [chuckles]
When one lives alone,
923
00:54:02,281 --> 00:54:05,033
uh, one has to
learn these things in case there's a--
924
00:54:05,117 --> 00:54:07,202
-There's an arrow in your butt!
-What?
925
00:54:07,828 --> 00:54:11,748
-Oh, would you look at that?
-Oh, no. This is all my fault.
926
00:54:11,832 --> 00:54:13,500
I'm so sorry.
Why? What's wrong?
927
00:54:13,584 --> 00:54:15,544
-Shrek's hurt.
-Shrek's hurt. Shrek's hurt?
928
00:54:15,836 --> 00:54:17,087
Oh, no, Shrek's gonna die.
929
00:54:17,171 --> 00:54:19,715
-Donkey, I'm okay.
-You can't do this to me, Shrek.
930
00:54:19,798 --> 00:54:21,049
I'm too young for you to die.
931
00:54:21,133 --> 00:54:22,926
Keep your legs elevated.
Turn your head and cough.
932
00:54:23,218 --> 00:54:26,221
-Does anyone know the Heimlich?
-Donkey! Calm down.
933
00:54:26,430 --> 00:54:27,723
If you want to help Shrek,
934
00:54:28,015 --> 00:54:31,059
run into the woods and find me
a blue flower with red thorns.
935
00:54:31,143 --> 00:54:33,812
Blue flower, red thorns.
Okay, I'm on it. Blue flower, red thorns.
936
00:54:33,896 --> 00:54:34,938
Blue flower, red thorns.
937
00:54:35,022 --> 00:54:37,983
Don't die, Shrek. If you see a long
tunnel, stay away from the light!
938
00:54:38,066 --> 00:54:41,320
-[both] Donkey!
-Oh, yeah. Right. Blue flower, red thorns.
939
00:54:41,403 --> 00:54:43,363
-Blue flower, red thorns.
-What are the flowers for?
940
00:54:43,947 --> 00:54:46,158
-For getting rid of Donkey.
-Ah.
941
00:54:46,241 --> 00:54:48,535
Now you hold still,
and I'll yank this thing out.
942
00:54:48,619 --> 00:54:50,537
Ow! Hey!
Easy with the yankin'.
943
00:54:50,621 --> 00:54:53,749
-I'm sorry, but it has to come out.
-No, it's tender.
944
00:54:53,832 --> 00:54:55,501
Now, hold on.
945
00:54:55,584 --> 00:54:57,252
-What you're doing is the opposite of help
-Don't move.
946
00:54:57,336 --> 00:54:59,755
-Okay, look, look, time out.
-Would you--
947
00:55:00,506 --> 00:55:04,718
[grunts]
Okay. What do you propose we do?
948
00:55:05,219 --> 00:55:07,804
Blue flower, red thorns. Blue flower,
red thorns. Blue flower, red thorns.
949
00:55:07,888 --> 00:55:09,848
This would be so much easier
if I wasn't colour-blind!
950
00:55:10,015 --> 00:55:12,226
-Blue flower, red thorns.
-[Shrek] Ow!
951
00:55:12,309 --> 00:55:13,936
Hold on, Shrek!
I'm comin'!
952
00:55:16,480 --> 00:55:18,315
Ow! Not good.
953
00:55:18,398 --> 00:55:21,360
-Okay. Okay, I can nearly see the head.
-[grunts]
954
00:55:21,443 --> 00:55:23,362
-It's just about--
-Ow! Ohh!
955
00:55:25,739 --> 00:55:26,907
[Donkey] Ahem.
956
00:55:27,950 --> 00:55:30,702
Nothing happened.
We were just, uh--
957
00:55:31,078 --> 00:55:34,331
Look, if you wanted to be alone,
all you had to do was ask, okay.
958
00:55:34,414 --> 00:55:37,709
Oh, come on!
That's the last thing on my mind.
959
00:55:37,960 --> 00:55:41,380
The princess here
was just-- Ugh!
960
00:55:44,841 --> 00:55:47,386
-Ow!
-Hey, what's that?
961
00:55:47,594 --> 00:55:50,013
[nervous chuckle]
That's-- Is that blood?
962
00:55:50,681 --> 00:55:51,640
[sighs]
963
00:55:52,599 --> 00:55:54,726
[bird chirping]
964
00:55:58,939 --> 00:56:00,315
[grunts]
965
00:56:06,655 --> 00:56:10,450
♪ My beloved monster and me ♪
966
00:56:11,785 --> 00:56:14,788
♪ We go everywhere together ♪
967
00:56:16,123 --> 00:56:19,918
♪ Wearin' a raincoatThat has four sleeves ♪
968
00:56:20,836 --> 00:56:24,715
♪ Gets us through all kinds of weather ♪
969
00:56:26,300 --> 00:56:29,970
♪ She will always be the only thing ♪
970
00:56:31,263 --> 00:56:34,850
♪ That comes between meAnd the awful sting ♪
971
00:56:35,434 --> 00:56:41,064
♪ That comes from living In a world that's so damn mean ♪
972
00:56:46,945 --> 00:56:48,238
[croaks]
973
00:56:49,990 --> 00:56:54,453
♪ Oh oh-oh-oh-oh ♪
974
00:57:08,759 --> 00:57:09,843
Hey!
975
00:57:10,469 --> 00:57:13,972
♪ La-la, la-la la-la-la-la ♪
976
00:57:14,765 --> 00:57:19,311
♪ La-la, la-la, la-la ♪
977
00:57:20,938 --> 00:57:22,272
There it is, Princess.
978
00:57:23,649 --> 00:57:24,900
Your future awaits you.
979
00:57:25,484 --> 00:57:27,569
-That's DuLoc?
-Yeah, I know.
980
00:57:27,653 --> 00:57:30,155
You know, Shrek thinks Lord Farquaad's
compensating for something,
981
00:57:30,238 --> 00:57:32,991
which I think means
he has a really-- Ow!
982
00:57:33,200 --> 00:57:34,201
Um, I, uh--
983
00:57:34,993 --> 00:57:37,287
-I guess we better move on.
-Sure.
984
00:57:37,704 --> 00:57:38,789
But, Shrek?
985
00:57:39,748 --> 00:57:42,542
-I'm-- I'm worried about Donkey.
-[blubbering]
986
00:57:42,709 --> 00:57:44,795
-What?
-I mean, look at him.
987
00:57:45,128 --> 00:57:48,173
-He doesn't look so good.
-What are you talking about? I'm fine.
988
00:57:48,256 --> 00:57:51,969
That's what they always say, and then next
thing you know, you're on your back.
989
00:57:53,637 --> 00:57:55,681
-Dead.
-You know, she's right.
990
00:57:55,889 --> 00:57:58,558
You look awful.
Do you want to sit down?
991
00:57:58,642 --> 00:58:01,520
-You know, I'll make you some tea.
-I didn't want to say nothin' but,
992
00:58:02,062 --> 00:58:04,398
I got this twinge in my neck, and when
I turn my head like this, look.
993
00:58:04,481 --> 00:58:05,524
-[bones crunch]
-Ow! See?
994
00:58:05,607 --> 00:58:08,652
-Who's hungry? I'll find us some dinner.
-I'll get the firewood.
995
00:58:08,735 --> 00:58:12,823
Hey, where you goin'?
Oh, man, I can't feel my toes!
996
00:58:13,782 --> 00:58:15,117
I don't have any toes!
997
00:58:16,118 --> 00:58:17,661
I think I need a hug.
998
00:58:22,290 --> 00:58:23,875
Mmm.
999
00:58:24,418 --> 00:58:28,672
Mmm. This is good.
This is really good.
1000
00:58:30,465 --> 00:58:32,759
-What is this?
-Uh, weedrat.
1001
00:58:33,552 --> 00:58:35,053
Rotisserie style.
1002
00:58:35,345 --> 00:58:36,513
No kidding.
1003
00:58:38,098 --> 00:58:39,474
Well, this is delicious.
1004
00:58:39,558 --> 00:58:41,560
Well, they're also great
in stews.
1005
00:58:41,768 --> 00:58:46,314
Now, I don't mean to brag,
but I make a mean weedrat stew.
1006
00:58:46,398 --> 00:58:47,607
[chuckling]
1007
00:58:49,860 --> 00:58:53,280
[sighs] I guess I'll be dining a little
differently tomorrow night.
1008
00:58:54,156 --> 00:58:58,326
[gulps] Maybe you can come visit me
in the swamp sometime.
1009
00:58:59,244 --> 00:59:01,371
I'll cook all kinds
of stuff for you.
1010
00:59:01,496 --> 00:59:04,541
Swamp toad soup,
fish eye tartare, you name it.
1011
00:59:06,209 --> 00:59:08,378
[chuckles]
I'd like that.
1012
00:59:09,379 --> 00:59:12,132
-[slurps]
-[laughs]
1013
00:59:15,385 --> 00:59:18,889
♪ See the pyramidsalong the Nile ♪
1014
00:59:18,972 --> 00:59:21,600
Um, Princess?
1015
00:59:22,642 --> 00:59:25,145
Yes, Shrek?
1016
00:59:25,687 --> 00:59:28,648
I, um, I was wondering.
1017
00:59:29,608 --> 00:59:30,901
Are you...
1018
00:59:31,568 --> 00:59:32,736
Ah, ah...
1019
00:59:34,446 --> 00:59:36,782
[sighs]
Are you gonna eat that?
1020
00:59:42,537 --> 00:59:44,122
[chuckles]
1021
00:59:44,206 --> 00:59:47,334
Man, isn't this romantic?
Just look at that sunset.
1022
00:59:47,709 --> 00:59:48,627
Sunset?
1023
00:59:48,710 --> 00:59:51,213
Oh, no!
I mean, it's late.
1024
00:59:51,296 --> 00:59:52,923
-I-- It's very late.
-What?
1025
00:59:53,006 --> 00:59:55,801
Wait a minute.
I see what's goin' on here.
1026
00:59:56,468 --> 00:59:59,054
-You're afraid of the dark, aren't you?
-Yes!
1027
00:59:59,304 --> 01:00:02,849
Yes, that's it. I'm terrified.
You know, I'd better go inside.
1028
01:00:02,933 --> 01:00:06,228
Don't feel bad, Princess. I used to be
afraid of the dark, too, until--
1029
01:00:06,770 --> 01:00:08,980
Hey, no, wait.
I'm still afraid of the dark.
1030
01:00:09,064 --> 01:00:11,650
-[Shrek sighs]
-Good night.
1031
01:00:12,984 --> 01:00:14,027
Good night.
1032
01:00:15,904 --> 01:00:19,074
-[door creaks]
-[Donkey] Oh!
1033
01:00:19,157 --> 01:00:21,576
Now I really see
what's goin' on here.
1034
01:00:21,660 --> 01:00:23,537
Oh, what are you talkin' about?
1035
01:00:23,620 --> 01:00:26,039
Hey, I don't even wanna hear it.
Look, I'm an animal, and I got instincts.
1036
01:00:26,123 --> 01:00:28,416
And I know you two were
diggin' on each other. I could feel it.
1037
01:00:28,500 --> 01:00:31,670
Oh, you're crazy.
I'm just bringing her back to Farquaad.
1038
01:00:32,212 --> 01:00:35,173
Oh, come on, Shrek.
Wake up and smell the pheromones.
1039
01:00:35,423 --> 01:00:37,342
-Just go on in and tell her how you feel.
-I--
1040
01:00:38,426 --> 01:00:41,972
There's nothing to tell.
Besides, even if I did tell her that,
1041
01:00:42,139 --> 01:00:43,723
well, you know--
1042
01:00:43,974 --> 01:00:47,269
and I'm not sayin' I do
'cause I don't--
1043
01:00:48,145 --> 01:00:50,313
she's a princess,
and I'm--
1044
01:00:50,689 --> 01:00:51,648
An ogre?
1045
01:00:53,316 --> 01:00:55,443
Yeah. An ogre.
1046
01:00:56,153 --> 01:00:59,990
-Hey, where you goin'?
-To get... more firewood.
1047
01:01:10,458 --> 01:01:11,835
[sighs]
1048
01:01:19,092 --> 01:01:20,135
Princess?
1049
01:01:21,219 --> 01:01:22,762
Princess Fiona?
1050
01:01:28,226 --> 01:01:29,895
Princess, where are you?
1051
01:01:31,104 --> 01:01:33,356
[wings fluttering]
1052
01:01:35,650 --> 01:01:36,860
Princess?
1053
01:01:38,653 --> 01:01:41,615
-[creaking]
-[gasps]
1054
01:01:41,698 --> 01:01:44,618
It's very spooky in here.
I ain't playing no games.
1055
01:01:49,164 --> 01:01:50,832
[screams]
1056
01:01:54,794 --> 01:01:57,088
-Aah! No, help!
-Oh, no!
1057
01:01:57,172 --> 01:01:58,798
-Shh!
-Shrek! Shrek!
1058
01:01:58,882 --> 01:02:00,342
-Shrek!
-No, it's okay. It's okay.
1059
01:02:00,467 --> 01:02:02,969
-What did you do with the princess?
-Donkey, I'm the princess.
1060
01:02:03,053 --> 01:02:05,889
-Aah!
-It's me, in this body.
1061
01:02:05,972 --> 01:02:08,516
Oh, my God!
You ate the princess!
1062
01:02:08,600 --> 01:02:10,435
-Can you hear me?
-Donkey!
1063
01:02:10,518 --> 01:02:12,270
-Listen, keep breathing!
-No!
1064
01:02:12,354 --> 01:02:13,188
I'll get you out of there!
1065
01:02:13,396 --> 01:02:15,815
-Shrek! Shrek! Shrek!
-Shh.
1066
01:02:15,899 --> 01:02:17,692
-Shrek!
-This is me.
1067
01:02:17,817 --> 01:02:19,903
[muffled mumbling]
1068
01:02:23,198 --> 01:02:24,366
Princess?
1069
01:02:25,825 --> 01:02:28,954
What happened to you?
You're, uh, uh,
1070
01:02:29,454 --> 01:02:31,039
uh, different.
1071
01:02:31,122 --> 01:02:33,583
-I'm ugly, okay?
-Well, yeah!
1072
01:02:33,667 --> 01:02:36,753
Was it something you ate? 'Cause I told
Shrek those rats was a bad idea.
1073
01:02:36,836 --> 01:02:38,797
-You are what you eat, I said. Now--
-No.
1074
01:02:39,256 --> 01:02:42,509
I-- I've been this way
as long as I can remember.
1075
01:02:42,592 --> 01:02:45,303
What do you mean? Look, I ain't never
seen you like this before.
1076
01:02:45,553 --> 01:02:48,265
It only happens
when the sun goes down.
1077
01:02:50,016 --> 01:02:53,186
By night one way,
by day another.
1078
01:02:53,728 --> 01:02:55,480
This shall be the norm...
1079
01:02:55,897 --> 01:02:58,316
until you find
true love's first kiss...
1080
01:02:59,109 --> 01:03:01,987
and then
take love's true form."
1081
01:03:04,155 --> 01:03:07,033
Ah, that's beautiful.
I didn't know you wrote poetry.
1082
01:03:07,117 --> 01:03:08,493
It's a spell.
1083
01:03:08,952 --> 01:03:11,538
[sighs]
When I was a little girl,
1084
01:03:11,955 --> 01:03:13,790
a witch cast a spell on me.
1085
01:03:14,749 --> 01:03:16,668
Every night I become this.
1086
01:03:17,877 --> 01:03:20,588
This horrible, ugly beast!
1087
01:03:23,508 --> 01:03:27,512
I was placed in a tower to await the day
my true love would rescue me.
1088
01:03:28,638 --> 01:03:31,224
That's why I have to marry
Lord Farquaad tomorrow,
1089
01:03:31,308 --> 01:03:33,351
before the sun sets
and he sees me...
1090
01:03:35,979 --> 01:03:38,356
like this.
[sobs]
1091
01:03:39,024 --> 01:03:41,901
All right, all right.
Calm down. Look, it's not that bad.
1092
01:03:42,110 --> 01:03:45,739
You're not that ugly.
Well, I ain't gonna lie. You are ugly.
1093
01:03:46,614 --> 01:03:49,367
But you only look
like this at night. Shrek's ugly 24-7.
1094
01:03:49,576 --> 01:03:52,746
But, Donkey,
I'm a princess,
1095
01:03:53,121 --> 01:03:55,582
and this is not
how a princess is meant to look.
1096
01:03:55,665 --> 01:03:56,750
[sobbing]
1097
01:03:56,833 --> 01:04:00,462
Princess, how 'bout if you
don't marry Farquaad?
1098
01:04:00,712 --> 01:04:02,005
I have to.
1099
01:04:02,339 --> 01:04:05,175
Only my true love's kiss
can break the spell.
1100
01:04:05,592 --> 01:04:08,762
But, you know, um,
you're kind of an ogre,
1101
01:04:08,970 --> 01:04:12,098
and Shrek-- well,
you got a lot in common.
1102
01:04:13,058 --> 01:04:14,059
Shrek?
1103
01:04:14,601 --> 01:04:17,645
Princess, I--
Uh, how's it going, first of all?
1104
01:04:18,229 --> 01:04:20,940
Good?
Um, good for me too.
1105
01:04:21,149 --> 01:04:22,192
I'm okay.
1106
01:04:22,442 --> 01:04:27,280
I saw this flower and thought of you
because it's pretty and--
1107
01:04:27,864 --> 01:04:30,075
well, I don't really like it,
1108
01:04:30,158 --> 01:04:32,452
but I thought you might like it
'cause you're pretty.
1109
01:04:32,577 --> 01:04:35,497
But I like you anyway.
I'd-- uh, uh--
1110
01:04:35,580 --> 01:04:36,748
[sighs]
1111
01:04:37,832 --> 01:04:41,294
I'm in trouble.
Okay, here we go.
1112
01:04:41,378 --> 01:04:43,254
[Fiona]
I can't just marry whoever I want.
1113
01:04:43,922 --> 01:04:45,507
Take a good look at me, Donkey.
1114
01:04:46,383 --> 01:04:47,759
I mean, really,
1115
01:04:48,301 --> 01:04:50,804
who could ever love a beast
so hideous and ugly?
1116
01:04:51,054 --> 01:04:53,306
"Princess" and "ugly" don't go together.
1117
01:04:53,390 --> 01:04:55,683
-That's why I can't stay here with Shrek.
-[gasps]
1118
01:04:55,767 --> 01:05:00,146
My only chance to live happily ever after
is to marry my true love.
1119
01:05:00,647 --> 01:05:03,525
-[deep sigh]
-Don't you see, Donkey?
1120
01:05:04,067 --> 01:05:05,944
That's just how it has to be.
1121
01:05:08,405 --> 01:05:10,031
It's the only way to break the spell.
1122
01:05:10,615 --> 01:05:12,992
-You at least gotta tell Shrek the truth.
-No!
1123
01:05:13,076 --> 01:05:16,079
You can't breathe a word.
No one must ever know.
1124
01:05:16,204 --> 01:05:18,665
What's the point of being able to
talk if you gotta keep secrets?
1125
01:05:18,748 --> 01:05:21,084
Promise you won't tell.
Promise!
1126
01:05:21,167 --> 01:05:23,878
All right, all right.
I won't tell him. But you should.
1127
01:05:25,046 --> 01:05:27,799
I just know before this is over, I'm gonna
need a whole lot of serious therapy.
1128
01:05:27,882 --> 01:05:30,510
-Look at my eye twitchin'.
-[door opens]
1129
01:05:50,905 --> 01:05:52,532
[snoring]
1130
01:05:53,992 --> 01:05:57,287
[Fiona]
I tell him, I tell him not.
1131
01:05:59,080 --> 01:06:02,167
I tell him,
I tell him not.
1132
01:06:03,168 --> 01:06:04,252
I tell him.
1133
01:06:05,170 --> 01:06:06,087
Shrek!
1134
01:06:06,880 --> 01:06:09,424
Shrek, there's something
I want--
1135
01:06:09,549 --> 01:06:12,510
[snoring]
1136
01:06:30,778 --> 01:06:31,863
Shrek.
1137
01:06:33,865 --> 01:06:35,700
-Are you all right?
-Perfect!
1138
01:06:35,783 --> 01:06:36,951
Never been better.
1139
01:06:37,827 --> 01:06:41,372
I-- I don't--
There's something I have to tell you.
1140
01:06:41,456 --> 01:06:43,750
You don't have to tell me
anything, Princess.
1141
01:06:43,917 --> 01:06:46,586
-I heard enough last night.
-You heard what I said?
1142
01:06:46,669 --> 01:06:47,795
Every word.
1143
01:06:48,588 --> 01:06:51,508
-I thought you'd understand.
-Oh, I understand.
1144
01:06:51,841 --> 01:06:55,720
Like you said,
"Who could love a hideous, ugly beast?"
1145
01:06:56,930 --> 01:06:58,765
But I thought that
wouldn't matter to you.
1146
01:06:58,848 --> 01:07:00,600
Yeah? Well, it does.
1147
01:07:00,767 --> 01:07:02,393
-[gasps]
-[sighs]
1148
01:07:02,727 --> 01:07:04,938
-Ah, right on time.
-[horse whinnies]
1149
01:07:05,522 --> 01:07:08,149
Princess, I've brought you
a little something.
1150
01:07:08,233 --> 01:07:12,403
[fanfare]
1151
01:07:12,820 --> 01:07:15,782
[yawns]
What'd I miss? What'd I miss?
1152
01:07:16,574 --> 01:07:19,160
[muffled] Who said that?
Couldn't have been a donkey.
1153
01:07:20,662 --> 01:07:22,455
Princess Fiona.
1154
01:07:22,539 --> 01:07:25,375
As promised.
Now hand it over.
1155
01:07:25,625 --> 01:07:29,921
Very well, ogre. The deed to your swamp,
cleared out, as agreed.
1156
01:07:30,296 --> 01:07:33,883
Take it and go
before I change my mind.
1157
01:07:34,801 --> 01:07:37,011
[Farquaad] Forgive me, Princess,
for startling you,
1158
01:07:37,095 --> 01:07:38,930
but you startled me,
1159
01:07:39,514 --> 01:07:42,892
for I have never seen
such a radiant beauty before.
1160
01:07:43,601 --> 01:07:46,229
I am Lord Farquaad.
1161
01:07:46,688 --> 01:07:50,525
Lord Farquaad?
Oh, no, no.
1162
01:07:50,608 --> 01:07:53,570
[snaps fingers] Forgive me, my lord,
for I was just saying...
1163
01:07:53,695 --> 01:07:58,533
a short... farewell.
1164
01:07:59,033 --> 01:08:03,162
Ah, that is so sweet. You don't have to
waste good manners on the ogre.
1165
01:08:03,246 --> 01:08:05,832
[chuckles]
It's not like it has feelings.
1166
01:08:06,291 --> 01:08:09,419
No, you're right.
It doesn't.
1167
01:08:09,919 --> 01:08:13,840
Princess Fiona,
beautiful, fair, flawless Fiona.
1168
01:08:14,048 --> 01:08:17,051
-I ask your hand in marriage.
-[gasps]
1169
01:08:17,135 --> 01:08:21,097
Will you be the perfect bride
for the perfect groom?
1170
01:08:26,019 --> 01:08:30,607
Lord Farquaad, I accept.
Nothing would make--
1171
01:08:30,690 --> 01:08:33,735
Excellent!
I'll start the plans, for tomorrow we wed!
1172
01:08:33,818 --> 01:08:35,945
No! I mean, uh,
1173
01:08:36,738 --> 01:08:37,739
why wait?
1174
01:08:38,448 --> 01:08:41,618
Let's get married today
before the sun sets.
1175
01:08:42,160 --> 01:08:44,912
Oh, anxious, are we?
You're right.
1176
01:08:45,121 --> 01:08:47,707
The sooner, the better.
There's so much to do!
1177
01:08:48,875 --> 01:08:51,169
There's the caterer,
the cake, the band, the guest list.
1178
01:08:51,377 --> 01:08:53,379
Captain, round up
some guests!
1179
01:08:54,922 --> 01:08:56,633
[Fiona]
Fare-thee-well, ogre.
1180
01:08:57,467 --> 01:08:59,552
Shrek, what are you doing?
You're letting her get away.
1181
01:08:59,719 --> 01:09:01,054
Yeah? So what?
1182
01:09:01,220 --> 01:09:02,805
Shrek, there's something
about her you don't know.
1183
01:09:02,930 --> 01:09:05,433
Look, I talked to her
last night. She's--
1184
01:09:05,516 --> 01:09:09,395
I know you talked to her
last night. You're great pals, aren't ya?
1185
01:09:09,729 --> 01:09:13,316
Now, if you two are such good friends,
why don't you follow her home?
1186
01:09:13,399 --> 01:09:15,276
Shrek, I--
I wanna go with you.
1187
01:09:15,360 --> 01:09:18,071
I told you, didn't I?
You're not coming home with me.
1188
01:09:18,196 --> 01:09:22,408
I live alone!
My swamp! Me! Nobody else!
1189
01:09:22,492 --> 01:09:24,369
Understand? Nobody!
1190
01:09:24,577 --> 01:09:29,165
Especially useless, pathetic,
annoying, talking donkeys!
1191
01:09:29,457 --> 01:09:32,418
-But I thought--
-Yeah. You know what?
1192
01:09:32,752 --> 01:09:34,295
You thought wrong!
1193
01:09:36,631 --> 01:09:37,674
Shrek.
1194
01:09:44,347 --> 01:09:48,184
♪ I heard there wasA secret chord ♪
1195
01:09:48,267 --> 01:09:51,396
♪ That David playedAnd it pleased the Lord ♪
1196
01:09:51,479 --> 01:09:56,150
♪ But you don't reallyCare for music do ya ♪
1197
01:09:58,486 --> 01:10:01,489
♪ It goes like thisThe fourth the fifth ♪
1198
01:10:01,572 --> 01:10:04,617
♪ The minor fallThe major lift ♪
1199
01:10:05,159 --> 01:10:10,331
♪ The baffled kingComposing hallelujah ♪
1200
01:10:10,998 --> 01:10:13,793
♪ Hallelujah ♪
1201
01:10:14,293 --> 01:10:17,004
♪ Hallelujah ♪
1202
01:10:17,839 --> 01:10:20,883
♪ Hallelujah ♪
1203
01:10:21,134 --> 01:10:26,264
♪ Hallelujah ♪
1204
01:10:28,808 --> 01:10:31,894
♪ Baby, I've been here before ♪
1205
01:10:31,978 --> 01:10:35,106
♪ I know this roomI've walked this floor ♪
1206
01:10:35,189 --> 01:10:40,611
♪ I used to live aloneBefore I knew you ♪
1207
01:10:42,155 --> 01:10:45,491
♪ I've seen your flagOn the marble arch ♪
1208
01:10:45,575 --> 01:10:48,536
♪ But love is notA victory march ♪
1209
01:10:48,619 --> 01:10:53,458
♪ It's a coldAnd it's a broken hallelujah ♪
1210
01:10:54,751 --> 01:10:57,545
♪ Hallelujah ♪
1211
01:10:57,920 --> 01:11:00,798
♪ Hallelujah ♪
1212
01:11:01,174 --> 01:11:04,010
♪ Hallelujah ♪
1213
01:11:04,677 --> 01:11:09,557
♪ Hallelujah ♪
1214
01:11:12,101 --> 01:11:15,188
♪ And all I everLearned from love ♪
1215
01:11:15,313 --> 01:11:17,607
♪ Is how to shoot at someone ♪
1216
01:11:17,690 --> 01:11:20,276
♪ Who outdrew you ♪
1217
01:11:21,527 --> 01:11:24,739
♪ And it's not a cryYou can hear at night ♪
1218
01:11:24,822 --> 01:11:28,242
♪ It's not somebodyWho's seen the light ♪
1219
01:11:28,326 --> 01:11:33,956
♪ It's a cold and it's A broken hallelujah ♪
1220
01:11:34,540 --> 01:11:36,959
♪ Hallelujah ♪
1221
01:11:37,502 --> 01:11:40,505
♪ Hallelujah ♪
1222
01:11:40,838 --> 01:11:43,966
♪ Hallelujah ♪
1223
01:11:44,133 --> 01:11:50,973
♪ Hallelujah ♪
1224
01:11:54,519 --> 01:11:57,063
[thumping sound]
1225
01:11:59,315 --> 01:12:00,274
Donkey?
1226
01:12:01,067 --> 01:12:03,277
-[grunts]
-What are you doing?
1227
01:12:03,361 --> 01:12:06,364
I would think, of all people, you would
recognize a wall when you see one.
1228
01:12:06,697 --> 01:12:08,115
Well, yeah.
1229
01:12:08,324 --> 01:12:11,744
But the wall's supposed
to go around my swamp, not through it.
1230
01:12:11,828 --> 01:12:14,789
It is around your half. See, that's
your half, and this is my half.
1231
01:12:14,872 --> 01:12:17,500
Oh! Your half. Hmm.
1232
01:12:17,583 --> 01:12:20,127
Yes, my half.
I helped rescue the princess.
1233
01:12:20,211 --> 01:12:22,421
I did half the work,
I get half the booty.
1234
01:12:22,505 --> 01:12:24,966
Now hand me that big old rock,
the one that looks like your head.
1235
01:12:26,050 --> 01:12:28,344
-Back off!
-No, you back off.
1236
01:12:28,427 --> 01:12:30,638
-This is my swamp!
-Our swamp.
1237
01:12:30,721 --> 01:12:32,056
-Let go, Donkey!
-You let go.
1238
01:12:32,139 --> 01:12:34,100
-Stubborn jackass!
-Smelly ogre.
1239
01:12:34,183 --> 01:12:35,518
Fine!
1240
01:12:36,644 --> 01:12:38,479
Hey, come back here.
I'm not through with you yet.
1241
01:12:38,563 --> 01:12:39,939
Well, I'm through with you.
1242
01:12:40,022 --> 01:12:43,150
Uh-uh. You know,
with you it's always, "Me, me, me!"
1243
01:12:43,442 --> 01:12:46,028
Well, guess what!
Now it's my turn!
1244
01:12:46,112 --> 01:12:48,239
So you just shut up
and pay attention!
1245
01:12:48,614 --> 01:12:50,032
You are mean to me.
1246
01:12:50,241 --> 01:12:52,869
You insult me and you don't appreciate
anything that I do!
1247
01:12:53,160 --> 01:12:55,830
You're always pushing me around
or pushing me away.
1248
01:12:55,913 --> 01:12:59,750
Oh, yeah? Well, if I treated you so bad,
how come you came back?
1249
01:13:00,251 --> 01:13:03,462
Because that's what friends do!
They forgive each other!
1250
01:13:03,546 --> 01:13:06,507
Oh, yeah.
You're right, Donkey.
1251
01:13:06,757 --> 01:13:09,844
I forgive you...
for stabbin' me in the back!
1252
01:13:11,345 --> 01:13:14,891
Ohh! You're so wrapped up
in layers, onion boy,
1253
01:13:14,974 --> 01:13:16,392
you're afraid of your own feelings.
1254
01:13:16,475 --> 01:13:19,020
-Go away!
-See! There you are, doing it again,
1255
01:13:19,103 --> 01:13:20,104
just like you did to Fiona.
1256
01:13:20,229 --> 01:13:22,356
All she ever do was like you,
maybe even love you.
1257
01:13:22,523 --> 01:13:26,861
[Shrek] Love me? She said I was ugly,
a hideous creature.
1258
01:13:26,986 --> 01:13:28,988
I heard the two of you
talking.
1259
01:13:29,113 --> 01:13:30,114
She wasn't talkin' about you.
1260
01:13:30,197 --> 01:13:32,742
She was talkin' about, uh,
somebody else.
1261
01:13:35,912 --> 01:13:38,331
She wasn't talking
about me?
1262
01:13:38,998 --> 01:13:40,750
Well, then who was
she talking about?
1263
01:13:40,833 --> 01:13:43,544
Uh-uh, no way. I ain't saying anything.
You don't wanna listen to me.
1264
01:13:43,628 --> 01:13:45,671
-Right? Right?
-Donkey!
1265
01:13:45,755 --> 01:13:48,299
-No!
-Okay, look.
1266
01:13:48,549 --> 01:13:50,384
I'm sorry, all right?
1267
01:13:52,261 --> 01:13:53,387
Hmph.
1268
01:13:55,181 --> 01:13:57,850
[sighs]
I'm sorry.
1269
01:13:59,143 --> 01:14:02,939
I guess I am just a big,
stupid, ugly ogre.
1270
01:14:04,398 --> 01:14:05,733
Can you forgive me?
1271
01:14:08,778 --> 01:14:10,279
Hey, that's what friends
are for, right?
1272
01:14:10,821 --> 01:14:12,990
Right. Friends?
1273
01:14:13,616 --> 01:14:14,575
Friends.
1274
01:14:16,118 --> 01:14:17,078
So, um,
1275
01:14:18,871 --> 01:14:20,831
what did Fiona
say about me?
1276
01:14:21,207 --> 01:14:23,793
What are you asking me for?
Why don't you just go ask her?
1277
01:14:24,543 --> 01:14:27,004
The wedding!
We'll never make it in time.
1278
01:14:27,088 --> 01:14:30,341
Ha-ha-ha! Never fear,
for where there's a will, there's a way,
1279
01:14:30,466 --> 01:14:32,343
and I have a way.
[whistles]
1280
01:14:33,427 --> 01:14:35,221
[roaring]
1281
01:14:37,056 --> 01:14:39,141
-Donkey?
-[Donkey laughing]
1282
01:14:39,225 --> 01:14:41,769
I guess it's just
my animal magnetism.
1283
01:14:41,852 --> 01:14:45,189
[laughing]
Aw, come here, you.
1284
01:14:45,272 --> 01:14:47,775
All right, all right. Don't get
all slobbery. No one likes a kiss ass.
1285
01:14:47,858 --> 01:14:50,403
All right, hop on
and hold on tight.
1286
01:14:50,486 --> 01:14:52,822
I haven't had a chance to
install the seat belts yet.
1287
01:14:52,905 --> 01:14:54,573
[laughing]
1288
01:15:00,746 --> 01:15:02,957
[Donkey laughing]
Whoo!
1289
01:15:16,721 --> 01:15:20,850
[bells tolling]
1290
01:15:23,894 --> 01:15:25,062
[all gasping]
1291
01:15:25,146 --> 01:15:27,690
{\an8}People of DuLoc,
1292
01:15:28,441 --> 01:15:31,110
{\an8}we gather here today,
1293
01:15:31,193 --> 01:15:32,820
to bear witness,
1294
01:15:33,195 --> 01:15:35,031
-to the union...
-Um--
1295
01:15:35,114 --> 01:15:37,575
-...of our new king--
-Excuse me.
1296
01:15:37,825 --> 01:15:40,202
-Could we just skip ahead to the "I do's"?
-[chuckling]
1297
01:15:41,078 --> 01:15:41,996
Go on.
1298
01:15:43,414 --> 01:15:46,167
[screaming]
1299
01:15:47,668 --> 01:15:50,713
Go ahead, have some fun. If we need you,
I'll whistle. How about that?
1300
01:15:53,883 --> 01:15:55,760
Shrek, wait, wait!
Wait a minute!
1301
01:15:55,843 --> 01:15:58,387
-You wanna do this right, don't you?
-What are you talking about?
1302
01:15:58,471 --> 01:16:00,306
There's a line, there's a line you
gotta wait for.
1303
01:16:00,389 --> 01:16:02,516
The preacher's gonna say,
"Speak now or forever hold your peace."
1304
01:16:02,600 --> 01:16:06,771
-That's when you say, "I object!"
-I don't have time for this!
1305
01:16:06,854 --> 01:16:08,522
Wait. What are you doing?
Listen to me!
1306
01:16:08,606 --> 01:16:10,274
-Look, you love this woman, don't you?
-Yes.
1307
01:16:10,441 --> 01:16:11,901
-You wanna hold her?
-Yes.
1308
01:16:11,984 --> 01:16:13,319
-Please her?
-Yes!
1309
01:16:13,402 --> 01:16:17,073
♪ Then you got to got toTry a little tenderness ♪
1310
01:16:17,156 --> 01:16:19,617
-The chicks love that romantic crap!
-All right! Cut it out.
1311
01:16:19,825 --> 01:16:23,496
-When does this guy say the line?
-We gotta check it out.
1312
01:16:23,871 --> 01:16:26,957
-[Donkey grunting]
-And so, by the power vested in me,
1313
01:16:27,041 --> 01:16:29,335
-[Shrek] What do you see?
-The whole town's in there.
1314
01:16:29,752 --> 01:16:32,922
-I now pronounce you husband and wife--
-They're at the altar.
1315
01:16:33,422 --> 01:16:36,008
-King and queen...
-Mother Fletcher! He already said it.
1316
01:16:36,092 --> 01:16:38,344
-Oh, for the love of Pete!
-[grunts]
1317
01:16:40,262 --> 01:16:41,931
I object!
1318
01:16:42,014 --> 01:16:43,724
-Shrek?
-[gasps]
1319
01:16:44,475 --> 01:16:46,185
Oh, now what
does he want?
1320
01:16:46,268 --> 01:16:49,021
[crowd clamouring]
1321
01:16:49,772 --> 01:16:52,775
Hi, everyone.
Havin' a good time, are ya?
1322
01:16:53,150 --> 01:16:55,319
[laughs]
I love DuLoc, first of all.
1323
01:16:55,402 --> 01:16:57,488
-Very clean.
-What are you doing here?
1324
01:16:57,571 --> 01:17:00,741
Really, it's rude enough being alive
when no one wants you,
1325
01:17:00,825 --> 01:17:03,661
-but showing up uninvited to a wedding--
-Fiona!
1326
01:17:04,286 --> 01:17:06,789
-I need to talk to you.
-Oh, now you wanna talk?
1327
01:17:07,289 --> 01:17:09,959
Well, It's a little late for that,
so if you'll excuse me--
1328
01:17:10,126 --> 01:17:12,711
-But you can't marry him.
-And why not?
1329
01:17:12,962 --> 01:17:16,715
Because-- Because
he's just marrying you so he can be king.
1330
01:17:16,966 --> 01:17:19,343
Outrageous!
Fiona, don't listen to him.
1331
01:17:19,426 --> 01:17:22,680
-He's not your true love.
-And what do you know about true love?
1332
01:17:22,763 --> 01:17:25,266
Well, I-- Uh--
1333
01:17:25,850 --> 01:17:28,769
-I mean--
-Oh, this is precious.
1334
01:17:28,853 --> 01:17:33,566
[chuckling] The ogre has fallen in love
with the princess!
1335
01:17:33,649 --> 01:17:35,985
-Oh, good Lord.
-[crowd laughing]
1336
01:17:36,068 --> 01:17:37,945
An ogre and a princess!
1337
01:17:38,028 --> 01:17:42,908
[laughing continues]
1338
01:17:43,742 --> 01:17:46,203
Shrek, is this true?
1339
01:17:47,371 --> 01:17:49,957
Who cares? It's preposterous!
1340
01:17:50,124 --> 01:17:53,711
Fiona, my love, we're but a kiss away from
our "happily ever after."
1341
01:17:53,794 --> 01:17:56,589
Now kiss me!
Mmmm!
1342
01:18:00,509 --> 01:18:03,429
"By night one way,by day another."
1343
01:18:06,182 --> 01:18:07,725
I wanted to show you before.
1344
01:18:27,036 --> 01:18:30,915
-[whimpers]
-[crowd gasping]
1345
01:18:31,749 --> 01:18:33,500
Well, uh,
1346
01:18:34,251 --> 01:18:35,586
that explains a lot.
1347
01:18:36,212 --> 01:18:39,298
[Farquaad]
Ugh! It's disgusting!
1348
01:18:39,757 --> 01:18:41,342
Guards! Guards!
1349
01:18:41,425 --> 01:18:44,970
I order you to get that
out of my sight now! Get them!
1350
01:18:45,054 --> 01:18:47,014
-Get them both!
-No, no!
1351
01:18:47,097 --> 01:18:48,933
This hocus-pocus alters nothing.
1352
01:18:49,016 --> 01:18:51,435
This marriage is binding,
and that makes me king!
1353
01:18:51,518 --> 01:18:53,771
-See? See?
-No, let go of me! Shrek!
1354
01:18:53,854 --> 01:18:54,688
No!
1355
01:18:54,772 --> 01:18:56,148
[Farquaad] Don't just-stand there,
you morons.
1356
01:18:56,232 --> 01:18:57,733
Get out of my way! Fiona!
1357
01:18:57,900 --> 01:18:59,652
[grunts]
1358
01:19:01,237 --> 01:19:02,571
Arrgh!
1359
01:19:03,489 --> 01:19:05,074
[Farquaad] I'll make you regret
the day we met.
1360
01:19:05,157 --> 01:19:06,659
I'll see you drawn and quartered!
1361
01:19:06,825 --> 01:19:09,787
-You'll beg for death to save you!
-No! Shrek!
1362
01:19:09,870 --> 01:19:12,748
-And as for you, my wife,
-Fiona!
1363
01:19:12,831 --> 01:19:16,043
I'll have you locked back
in that tower for the rest of your days!
1364
01:19:16,126 --> 01:19:18,003
-I am king!
-[whistles]
1365
01:19:18,087 --> 01:19:22,132
I will have order!
I will have perfection! I will have--
1366
01:19:22,216 --> 01:19:23,175
[growling]
1367
01:19:23,259 --> 01:19:25,302
Aaah!
1368
01:19:26,303 --> 01:19:28,973
-Aah! All right.
-Nobody move.
1369
01:19:29,098 --> 01:19:30,933
I got a dragon here,
and I'm not afraid to use it.
1370
01:19:31,016 --> 01:19:33,852
-[dragon roars]
-I'm a donkey on the edge!
1371
01:19:35,354 --> 01:19:38,065
-[belches]
-[Donkey laughs]
1372
01:19:38,148 --> 01:19:40,609
Celebrity marriages.
They never last, do they?
1373
01:19:41,443 --> 01:19:43,904
[cheering]
1374
01:19:43,988 --> 01:19:45,239
Go ahead, Shrek.
1375
01:19:46,198 --> 01:19:48,117
Uh, Fiona?
1376
01:19:49,660 --> 01:19:50,953
Yes, Shrek?
1377
01:19:51,787 --> 01:19:55,582
I-- I love you.
1378
01:19:56,333 --> 01:19:57,501
Really?
1379
01:19:59,670 --> 01:20:00,671
Really, really.
1380
01:20:02,631 --> 01:20:04,341
I love you too.
1381
01:20:09,763 --> 01:20:11,682
[all]
Aawww!
1382
01:20:13,600 --> 01:20:16,729
[Fiona's voice]
"Until you find true love's first kiss...
1383
01:20:16,812 --> 01:20:20,524
[echoing] ...and then take love's true form."
1384
01:20:43,672 --> 01:20:47,009
[echoing] "Take love's true form.Take love's true form."
1385
01:20:53,223 --> 01:20:54,350
Fiona?
1386
01:20:57,978 --> 01:20:58,896
Fiona.
1387
01:21:00,314 --> 01:21:01,774
Are you all right?
1388
01:21:03,567 --> 01:21:04,693
Well, yes.
1389
01:21:05,694 --> 01:21:07,404
But I don't understand.
1390
01:21:08,614 --> 01:21:10,282
I'm supposed to be beautiful.
1391
01:21:13,452 --> 01:21:14,661
But you are beautiful.
1392
01:21:15,788 --> 01:21:17,414
[chuckles]
1393
01:21:17,664 --> 01:21:19,708
I was hoping this would be
a happy ending.
1394
01:21:24,254 --> 01:21:28,884
♪ I thought love was only trueIn fairy tales ♪
1395
01:21:28,967 --> 01:21:30,469
[all] Oy!
1396
01:21:30,552 --> 01:21:34,431
♪ Meant for someone elseBut not for me ♪
1397
01:21:36,517 --> 01:21:38,894
♪ Love was out to get me ♪
1398
01:21:39,561 --> 01:21:41,355
♪ That's the way it seemed ♪
1399
01:21:42,314 --> 01:21:46,902
♪ Disappointment haunted all my dreams ♪
1400
01:21:46,985 --> 01:21:49,029
♪ And then I saw her face ♪
1401
01:21:50,364 --> 01:21:52,408
♪ Now I'm a believer ♪
1402
01:21:53,242 --> 01:21:54,993
♪ And not a trace ♪
1403
01:21:55,869 --> 01:21:57,996
♪ Of doubt in my mind ♪
1404
01:21:59,456 --> 01:22:02,584
♪ I'm in loveOoh-ahh ♪
1405
01:22:02,709 --> 01:22:05,295
♪ I'm a believerI couldn't leave her ♪
1406
01:22:05,379 --> 01:22:07,756
♪ If I tried ♪
1407
01:22:07,840 --> 01:22:10,551
God bless us, every one.
1408
01:22:11,343 --> 01:22:15,347
♪ Come on, y'all!Then I saw her face, ha-ha! ♪
1409
01:22:15,431 --> 01:22:18,559
♪ Now I'm a believerListen ♪
1410
01:22:18,642 --> 01:22:21,395
♪ Not a trace ♪
1411
01:22:21,478 --> 01:22:23,522
♪ Of doubt in my mind ♪
1412
01:22:24,398 --> 01:22:27,484
♪ I'm in loveOoh-ahh ♪
1413
01:22:27,568 --> 01:22:32,156
♪ I'm a believerI couldn't leave her if I tried ♪
1414
01:22:32,239 --> 01:22:34,950
-Ooh!
-Uh!
1415
01:22:35,075 --> 01:22:37,619
♪ Then I saw her face ♪
1416
01:22:37,703 --> 01:22:40,581
♪ Now I'm a believerHey ♪
1417
01:22:40,664 --> 01:22:43,417
♪ Not a traceUh, yeah ♪
1418
01:22:43,542 --> 01:22:46,628
♪ Of doubt in my mindOne more time ♪
1419
01:22:47,379 --> 01:22:51,675
♪ I'm in loveI'm a believer ♪
1420
01:22:51,758 --> 01:22:53,385
[Donkey] Come on!
1421
01:22:53,469 --> 01:22:55,471
♪ I believe, I believeI believe, I believe ♪
1422
01:22:55,554 --> 01:22:58,098
♪ I believe, I believeI believe, I believe I believe, hey ♪
1423
01:22:58,182 --> 01:23:00,809
♪ Y'all sing it with me ♪
1424
01:23:00,893 --> 01:23:02,186
♪ I believe ♪
1425
01:23:02,686 --> 01:23:05,397
♪ I believePeople in the back ♪
1426
01:23:05,481 --> 01:23:08,650
♪ I believeI'm a believer ♪
1427
01:23:08,734 --> 01:23:11,236
♪ I believe ♪
1428
01:23:11,737 --> 01:23:14,281
{\an8}♪ I believe ♪
1429
01:23:14,615 --> 01:23:19,369
{\an8}♪ I believe ♪
1430
01:23:19,453 --> 01:23:21,663
[hysterical laughing]
1431
01:23:21,747 --> 01:23:23,916
Oh, that's funny.
Oh. Oh.
1432
01:23:23,999 --> 01:23:25,918
[Donkey] I can't breathe.I can't breathe.
1433
01:23:27,461 --> 01:23:29,671
♪ I believe in self-assertion ♪
1434
01:23:29,755 --> 01:23:31,965
♪ Destiny or a slight diversion ♪
1435
01:23:32,049 --> 01:23:36,303
♪ Now it seems I've got my head on straight ♪
1436
01:23:36,386 --> 01:23:38,514
♪ I'm a freak an apparition ♪
1437
01:23:38,597 --> 01:23:40,724
♪ Seems I've made the right decision ♪
1438
01:23:40,807 --> 01:23:44,228
♪ To try to turn back now It might be too late ♪
1439
01:23:44,311 --> 01:23:48,690
♪ I want to stay home todayDon't wanna go out ♪
1440
01:23:48,774 --> 01:23:53,111
♪ If anyone comes to playGonna get thrown out ♪
1441
01:23:53,195 --> 01:23:57,783
{\an8}♪ I wanna stay home todayDon't want no company ♪
1442
01:23:57,866 --> 01:24:00,327
{\an8}♪ No way ♪
1443
01:24:00,410 --> 01:24:02,996
♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah ♪
1444
01:24:03,080 --> 01:24:05,290
♪ I wanna be a millionaire someday ♪
1445
01:24:05,374 --> 01:24:07,543
♪ But know what it feels Like to give it away ♪
1446
01:24:07,626 --> 01:24:11,046
♪ Watch me march to the beat of my own drum ♪
1447
01:24:11,129 --> 01:24:13,715
♪ And it's off to the moon And then back again ♪
1448
01:24:13,799 --> 01:24:15,842
♪ Same old daySame situation ♪
1449
01:24:15,968 --> 01:24:19,972
♪ My happiness rears back as if to say ♪
1450
01:24:20,055 --> 01:24:24,351
♪ I wanna stay home todayDon't wanna go out ♪
1451
01:24:24,434 --> 01:24:28,814
♪ If anyone comes my wayGonna get thrown out ♪
1452
01:24:28,897 --> 01:24:33,527
♪ I wanna stay home todayDon't want no company ♪
1453
01:24:33,610 --> 01:24:36,071
♪ No way ♪
1454
01:24:36,154 --> 01:24:39,199
♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah ♪
1455
01:24:42,536 --> 01:24:47,249
♪ I wanna stay home stay home stay home ♪
1456
01:24:47,332 --> 01:24:52,379
♪ I wanna stay home todayDon't wanna go out ♪
1457
01:24:52,462 --> 01:24:57,009
♪ If anyone comes to playGonna get thrown out ♪
1458
01:24:57,092 --> 01:24:59,845
♪ I wanna stay home today ♪
1459
01:24:59,928 --> 01:25:03,932
♪ Don't want no companyNo way ♪
1460
01:25:04,016 --> 01:25:07,311
♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah ♪
1461
01:25:20,657 --> 01:25:24,620
♪ I get such a thrillWhen you look in my eyes ♪
1462
01:25:24,703 --> 01:25:28,832
♪ My heart skips a beatGirl I feel so alive ♪
1463
01:25:28,915 --> 01:25:32,711
♪ Please tell me baby if all this is true ♪
1464
01:25:32,794 --> 01:25:36,840
♪ 'Cause deep down insideAll I wanted was you ♪
1465
01:25:36,923 --> 01:25:40,886
♪ Oh-oh-ohMakes me wanna dance ♪
1466
01:25:40,969 --> 01:25:44,806
♪ Oh-oh-ohIt's a new romance ♪
1467
01:25:44,890 --> 01:25:48,935
♪ Oh-oh-ohI look into your eyes ♪
1468
01:25:49,019 --> 01:25:52,856
♪ Oh-oh-ohThe best years of our lives ♪
1469
01:25:52,939 --> 01:25:56,735
♪ When we first metI could hardly believe ♪
1470
01:25:56,818 --> 01:26:00,739
♪ The things that would happenAnd we could achieve ♪
1471
01:26:00,822 --> 01:26:04,534
♪ So let's be togetherFor all of our time ♪
1472
01:26:04,618 --> 01:26:08,497
♪ Oh, girl, I'm so thankfulThat you are still mine ♪
1473
01:26:08,580 --> 01:26:10,957
♪ You always consider meLike an ugly duckling ♪
1474
01:26:11,041 --> 01:26:13,251
♪ And treat me like a Nostradamus, Was why I had to get my shine on ♪
1475
01:26:13,335 --> 01:26:15,337
♪ I break a little somethingTo keep my mind on ♪
1476
01:26:15,420 --> 01:26:17,756
♪ 'Cause you had my mind goneEh-eh, eh-eh, eh-eh ♪
1477
01:26:17,881 --> 01:26:20,676
♪ Turn the lights onCome on baby Let's just rewind the song ♪
1478
01:26:20,801 --> 01:26:23,095
♪ 'Cause all I want to doIs make the rest years the best years ♪
1479
01:26:23,178 --> 01:26:25,347
♪ All night long ♪
1480
01:26:25,472 --> 01:26:28,600
♪ Oh-oh-oh makes me wanna danceMakes me wanna dance ♪
1481
01:26:28,684 --> 01:26:32,604
♪ Oh-oh-oh it's a new romanceIt's a new romance ♪
1482
01:26:32,688 --> 01:26:35,982
♪ Oh-oh-oh I look into your eyesOh, yeah, yeah ♪
1483
01:26:36,066 --> 01:26:38,694
♪ Look into your eyesOh-oh-oh ♪
1484
01:26:38,777 --> 01:26:41,613
♪ The best years of our livesYeah, yeah, yeah, yeah ♪
1485
01:26:41,697 --> 01:26:44,908
♪ Oh-oh-oh makes me wanna danceWhoa-oh-oh, dance, yeah ♪
1486
01:26:44,991 --> 01:26:48,662
♪ Oh-oh-ohIt's a new romance ♪
1487
01:26:48,745 --> 01:26:52,916
♪ Oh-oh-oh I look into your eyesLook into your eyes, yeah ♪
1488
01:26:52,999 --> 01:26:57,754
♪ Oh-oh-ohThe best years of our lives ♪
1489
01:26:57,838 --> 01:27:00,632
♪ Everything looks bright ♪
1490
01:27:00,716 --> 01:27:03,009
♪ Standing in your light ♪
1491
01:27:03,093 --> 01:27:05,429
♪ Everything feels right ♪
1492
01:27:05,512 --> 01:27:08,432
♪ What's left is out of sight ♪
1493
01:27:08,515 --> 01:27:13,228
♪ What's a girl to doI'm telling you, you're on my mind ♪
1494
01:27:13,311 --> 01:27:15,856
♪ I wanna be with you ♪
1495
01:27:15,939 --> 01:27:18,316
♪ 'Cause when you'reStandin' next to me ♪
1496
01:27:18,400 --> 01:27:20,235
♪ It's like wow ♪
1497
01:27:20,318 --> 01:27:23,280
♪ And all your kissesSeem to set me free ♪
1498
01:27:23,363 --> 01:27:25,407
♪ It's like wow ♪
1499
01:27:25,490 --> 01:27:28,785
♪ And when we touchIt's such a rush I can't get enough ♪
1500
01:27:28,869 --> 01:27:31,621
♪ It's like-- It's likeOoh-ooh ♪
1501
01:27:31,705 --> 01:27:34,124
♪ Hey, what ♪
1502
01:27:34,207 --> 01:27:37,544
♪ It's like wowOoh-ooh, hey ♪
1503
01:27:37,627 --> 01:27:40,881
♪ Hey, yeahIt's like wow ♪
1504
01:27:40,964 --> 01:27:44,426
♪ Everything is lookingRight now, right now ♪
1505
01:27:44,509 --> 01:27:47,888
♪ It's like wowAnd I got this feeling ♪
1506
01:27:47,971 --> 01:27:50,891
♪ This feelingIt's just like wow ♪
1507
01:27:51,016 --> 01:27:53,143
♪ It's just like wow ♪
1508
01:27:53,268 --> 01:27:55,228
♪ You are all I'm thinking ofLike wow ♪
1509
01:27:55,312 --> 01:27:59,524
♪ Everything feels rightEverything feels right ♪
1510
01:27:59,608 --> 01:28:02,444
♪ Like wowEverything looks bright ♪
1511
01:28:02,527 --> 01:28:04,696
♪ All my senses are right ♪
1512
01:28:04,780 --> 01:28:07,324
♪ Like wowEverything feels right ♪
1513
01:28:07,407 --> 01:28:10,744
♪ Baby, baby, babyThe way I'm feeling you ♪
1514
01:28:10,827 --> 01:28:12,829
♪ Is like wow ♪
1515
01:28:12,913 --> 01:28:16,166
[instrumental]
1516
01:28:33,350 --> 01:28:36,853
♪ There is somethingThat I see ♪
1517
01:28:36,937 --> 01:28:40,398
♪ In the wayYou look at me ♪
1518
01:28:40,482 --> 01:28:43,985
♪ There's a smileThere's a truth ♪
1519
01:28:44,069 --> 01:28:47,489
♪ In your eyes ♪
1520
01:28:47,572 --> 01:28:50,909
♪ What an unexpected way ♪
1521
01:28:50,992 --> 01:28:54,371
♪ On this unexpected day ♪
1522
01:28:54,454 --> 01:28:56,373
♪ Could it be ♪
1523
01:28:56,456 --> 01:29:01,378
♪ This is where I belong ♪
1524
01:29:01,461 --> 01:29:04,798
♪ It is you I have loved ♪
1525
01:29:04,881 --> 01:29:07,926
♪ All along ♪
1526
01:29:08,009 --> 01:29:11,721
♪ There's no more mystery ♪
1527
01:29:11,805 --> 01:29:15,183
♪ It is finally clear to me ♪
1528
01:29:15,267 --> 01:29:19,020
♪ You're the homeMy heart's searched for ♪
1529
01:29:19,104 --> 01:29:22,107
♪ So long ♪
1530
01:29:22,190 --> 01:29:25,777
♪ It is you I have loved ♪
1531
01:29:25,861 --> 01:29:30,156
♪ All along ♪
1532
01:29:56,933 --> 01:30:00,812
♪ Whoa, over and over ♪
1533
01:30:00,895 --> 01:30:05,984
♪ I'm filled with emotion ♪
1534
01:30:06,067 --> 01:30:08,903
♪ As I look ♪
1535
01:30:08,987 --> 01:30:14,117
♪ Into your perfect face ♪
1535
01:30:15,305 --> 01:31:15,273
120840
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.