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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:18,619 --> 00:00:23,557 * HEY, MOMMA, I'M SUCH A SELFISH BASTARD * 2 00:00:23,591 --> 00:00:27,128 * I STARE THROUGH DIRTY WINDOWPANES * 3 00:00:27,161 --> 00:00:29,197 * AT FUMBLED D.N.A. 4 00:00:29,230 --> 00:00:31,832 * THEY STUMBLE UPRIGHT NOW * 5 00:00:31,865 --> 00:00:34,602 * WE'LL COME DOWN 6 00:00:34,635 --> 00:00:37,405 * TO MAN-MADE FOLIAGE 7 00:00:37,438 --> 00:00:39,840 * WHERE ALL THE CRAZIES BE * 8 00:00:39,873 --> 00:00:42,143 * THEY'RE CRAZY JUST LIKE ME * 9 00:00:42,176 --> 00:00:44,245 * EXCEPT I'M SHELTERED 10 00:00:44,278 --> 00:00:49,750 * FROM THE COLD 11 00:00:50,784 --> 00:00:52,753 * OH DARLING, HOLD ME TIGHTER 12 00:00:52,786 --> 00:00:55,656 * SO YOUR TEETH DON'T HAVE TO CHATTER * 13 00:00:55,689 --> 00:01:01,429 * WE CAN SMILE 14 00:01:01,462 --> 00:01:04,198 * AT PUTRID, SENILE FACES 15 00:01:04,232 --> 00:01:06,700 * TAXING WHERE OUR SPACE IS 16 00:01:06,734 --> 00:01:12,473 * MAN, THAT'S LOVE 17 00:01:12,506 --> 00:01:15,109 * LOVE 18 00:01:15,143 --> 00:01:18,078 * LOVE LOVE LOVE 19 00:01:34,228 --> 00:01:36,630 * OH, BABY, GET ME ALL 20 00:01:36,664 --> 00:01:39,433 * FRESH BENT ON STIMULANTS 21 00:01:39,467 --> 00:01:42,870 * MY STEMS IS STOUT FROM THE CAFFEINE * 22 00:01:42,903 --> 00:01:45,773 * DRENCHED PETALS, FRAGRANCE, NICOTINE * 23 00:01:45,806 --> 00:01:48,442 * AND I'LL BE ASLEEP BY 8:30 * 24 00:01:48,476 --> 00:01:50,444 * IN THE MORNING 25 00:01:50,478 --> 00:01:53,881 * WAKE ME GENTLY 26 00:01:53,914 --> 00:01:56,217 * LIKE A BIRD OF PARADISE 27 00:01:56,250 --> 00:01:58,619 * MY AGENDA IS MY VICE 28 00:01:58,652 --> 00:02:01,789 * AND I'M ALL DRESSED UP WITH NOWHERE * 29 00:02:01,822 --> 00:02:04,492 * TO GO, MAN 30 00:02:04,525 --> 00:02:07,195 * GET OUT, MAN 31 00:02:07,228 --> 00:02:09,897 * FREAK OUT, MAN... 32 00:02:09,930 --> 00:02:13,167 Man: living in there with you. 33 00:02:13,201 --> 00:02:16,737 I'll be by at 12:30 to collect my extra money. 34 00:02:16,770 --> 00:02:18,239 Your landlord. 35 00:02:18,272 --> 00:02:20,708 * FREAK OUT, MAN. 36 00:02:31,885 --> 00:02:33,754 - ( kicks ) - MM. 37 00:02:33,787 --> 00:02:35,423 ( whispering ) JAKE, JAKE. 38 00:02:35,456 --> 00:02:37,491 GET UP. WAKE UP. 39 00:02:39,360 --> 00:02:41,462 I JUST GOT A MESSAGE FROM STU. HE KNOWS YOU'VE BEEN STAYING HERE. 40 00:02:41,495 --> 00:02:44,298 YOU GOTTA GO. HE'S ON HIS WAY OVER. COME ON, LET'S GO. GET UP. 41 00:02:44,332 --> 00:02:47,235 - GOOD MORNING. - HI. GOOD MORNING. 42 00:02:55,343 --> 00:02:56,910 GOD DAMN IT. 43 00:03:07,588 --> 00:03:10,224 YOU SEE WHAT YOU'VE DONE? YOU'RE TEARING MY LIFE APART, JAKE. 44 00:03:10,258 --> 00:03:11,859 THERE'S SOMEONE AT THE DOOR. 45 00:03:11,892 --> 00:03:14,828 DON'T MOVE. STAY. STAY. 46 00:03:18,432 --> 00:03:21,302 HEY, STU. 47 00:03:21,335 --> 00:03:23,404 YOU WANT SOME BREAKFAST? HOW ARE YOU DOING? YOU HUNGRY? 48 00:03:23,437 --> 00:03:25,406 OH, I'D LOVE SOME LUNCH. YOU KNOW WHAT? 49 00:03:25,439 --> 00:03:27,675 I WOULD LIKE A SIDE ORDER OF GREEN. 50 00:03:27,708 --> 00:03:29,977 THAT WOULD BE TWO BILLS EXTRA A MONTH. 51 00:03:30,010 --> 00:03:32,980 AND I NEED $1000 BACK RENT, OR YOU TWO-- 52 00:03:33,013 --> 00:03:35,749 - THERE'S ONLY ONE. - BALONEY THERE'S ONLY ONE! 53 00:03:35,783 --> 00:03:37,351 I-- HE-- NO ONE-- 54 00:03:37,385 --> 00:03:39,253 WHAT'S THIS? HA, LOOK AT THAT. 55 00:03:39,287 --> 00:03:40,654 HI. HOW ARE YOU? NICE NIPPLES. 56 00:03:40,688 --> 00:03:42,723 HEY, STU, HOW ARE YOU? 57 00:03:42,756 --> 00:03:44,325 "HEY, STU, WHAT'S HAPPENING," HUH? 58 00:03:44,358 --> 00:03:46,026 IS THAT COOL? ARE YOU COOL? 59 00:03:46,059 --> 00:03:48,329 - HE JUST SPENT THE NIGHT, STU. - YOU KNOW WHAT? DON'T. 60 00:03:48,362 --> 00:03:50,364 HE'S HANGING OUT FOR A FEW DAYS. 61 00:03:50,398 --> 00:03:53,667 CRASHING FOR A COUPLE DAYS? DON'T. DON'T. JUST DON'T PLAY ME FOR AN IDIOT. 62 00:03:53,701 --> 00:03:57,004 - NO ONE'S CALLING YOU AN IDIOT. - WE ALL KNOW HOW INTELLIGENT YOU ARE. 63 00:03:57,037 --> 00:04:00,541 DON'T PLAY STUPID WITH ME, 'CAUSE MRS. KLEIN ALREADY RATTED YOU OUT. 64 00:04:00,574 --> 00:04:04,011 SO I WANT THE TWO OF YOU-- PAY UP OR GET OUT! 65 00:04:04,044 --> 00:04:06,013 I'M SORRY, BOYS. 66 00:04:06,046 --> 00:04:08,749 HE-- HE ASKED ME QUESTIONS. 67 00:04:08,782 --> 00:04:12,320 I'M DISAPPOINTED, MRS. KLEIN, VERY DISAPPOINTED. 68 00:04:12,353 --> 00:04:14,322 Stu: IT'S OKAY, MRS. KLEIN. 69 00:04:14,355 --> 00:04:16,424 LISTEN, YOU JUST KEEP THOSE SOCIAL SECURITY CHECKS COMING 70 00:04:16,457 --> 00:04:18,459 AND I'LL BE IN TO RUB YOUR CORNS. 71 00:04:18,492 --> 00:04:19,993 THAT'S DISGUSTING. 72 00:04:20,027 --> 00:04:21,895 THAT'S DISGUSTING? I'LL TELL YOU WHAT'S DISGUSTING. 73 00:04:21,929 --> 00:04:24,298 THE TWO OF YOU MEN IN A ONE-BEDROOM HOUSE. 74 00:04:24,332 --> 00:04:27,601 THE TWO OF YOU MEN DOING STUFF TO EACH OTHER. 75 00:04:27,635 --> 00:04:29,603 - THIS IS DISGUSTING. - I DON'T THINK THAT'S-- 76 00:04:29,637 --> 00:04:32,373 OH YEAH? THAT'S FUNNY, 'CAUSE YOU REEK LIKE HIS JIZZ. 77 00:04:32,406 --> 00:04:34,375 - ( laughs ) - IS THAT HOW IT WORKS? 78 00:04:34,408 --> 00:04:36,043 OH, YOU KNOW, IT'S INNOCENT AT FIRST, ISN'T IT? 79 00:04:36,076 --> 00:04:38,712 "OH, I GOTTA TAKE A SHOWER. LET'S SAVE WATER. IT'S TUESDAY. 80 00:04:38,746 --> 00:04:41,715 WHY DON'T YOU JUMP IN WITH ME?" I WANT TWO EXTRA BILLS 81 00:04:41,749 --> 00:04:43,917 AND $1000 BACK RENT, 82 00:04:43,951 --> 00:04:45,919 OR FAG CITY IS GONNA BE CLOSED DOWN 83 00:04:45,953 --> 00:04:47,921 BY MAYOR McCHEESE OVER HERE. 84 00:04:47,955 --> 00:04:51,091 GOOD DAY! PAY UP! 85 00:04:51,124 --> 00:04:54,828 JAKE, YOU GOTTA COME UP WITH $1200 86 00:04:54,862 --> 00:04:56,830 BY TOMORROW MORNING! 87 00:04:56,864 --> 00:04:59,900 DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT. I'LL TAKE CARE OF IT, MAN. 88 00:04:59,933 --> 00:05:01,835 JAKE, YOU HAVEN'T GOT A PAYCHECK IN SIX MONTHS. 89 00:05:01,869 --> 00:05:03,804 HOW ARE YOU GONNA COME UP WITH $1200 TOMORROW MORNING, JAKE? 90 00:05:03,837 --> 00:05:07,107 OKAY, I'M EXPECTING A RESIDUAL CHECK ANY DAY NOW FROM THE UNDERWEAR AD. 91 00:05:07,140 --> 00:05:09,677 JAKE, THE LAST TIME YOU GOT A RESIDUAL CHECK FOR THAT, 92 00:05:09,710 --> 00:05:11,679 IT WAS $20. 93 00:05:11,712 --> 00:05:14,648 AND YOU SPENT IT ON THE "MILF MONTHLY" SUBSCRIPTION. 94 00:05:14,682 --> 00:05:16,350 YES, THAT WASN'T A VERY GOOD INVESTMENT, HUH? 95 00:05:16,384 --> 00:05:18,352 YES, JAKE, THAT'S A BAD INVESTMENT. 96 00:05:18,386 --> 00:05:19,687 THAT IS A VERY VERY BAD INVESTMENT. 97 00:05:19,720 --> 00:05:20,921 WHAT ARE YOU TRYING TO SAY, RON? 98 00:05:20,954 --> 00:05:22,356 I'M TRYING TO SAY GET A JOB. 99 00:05:22,390 --> 00:05:24,692 OKAY? GET A JOB, JAKE. 100 00:05:24,725 --> 00:05:27,795 ALL YOU DO IS BRING HOME HOT WOMEN 101 00:05:27,828 --> 00:05:29,497 AND SLEEP WITH THEM IN MY BED. 102 00:05:29,530 --> 00:05:32,400 AND I HAVE TO SLEEP ON THE COUCH IN MY OWN HOUSE. 103 00:05:32,433 --> 00:05:34,735 YOU DON'T PAY FOR RENT. YOU DON'T PAY FOR GROCERIES. 104 00:05:34,768 --> 00:05:36,904 - YOU DON'T DO ANYTHING. AND I'M SICK OF IT. - OKAY. 105 00:05:36,937 --> 00:05:39,473 I CAN'T LIVE LIKE THIS ANYMORE. I JUST CAN'T AFFORD IT ANYMORE. 106 00:05:39,507 --> 00:05:41,509 I REFUSE TO AFFORD IT. I CAN'T AFFORD IT. 107 00:05:41,542 --> 00:05:43,110 I CAN'T SUPPORT YOU. 108 00:05:43,143 --> 00:05:46,880 RONALD, CALM DOWN. THINGS AREN'T THAT EASY FOR ME EITHER, OKAY? 109 00:05:46,914 --> 00:05:49,883 IT'S NOT LIKE I'M ON VACATION. I'M OUT THERE EVERY DAY TRYING TO MAKE A LIVING. 110 00:05:49,917 --> 00:05:51,885 THINGS ARE GONNA CHANGE, OKAY? 111 00:05:51,919 --> 00:05:53,987 I'M TRYING REALLY HARD. I'M GONNA MAKE THIS WORK. 112 00:05:54,021 --> 00:05:56,724 I'M GONNA GET THE CASH TO YOU, I SWEAR TO GOD. I SWEAR. 113 00:05:56,757 --> 00:05:59,693 I'VE GOT A CASTING IN A COUPLE OF HOURS. IT'S FOR THIS MODELING GIG. 114 00:05:59,727 --> 00:06:01,429 I THINK I'VE GOT A GOOD SHOT AT IT, MAN. 115 00:06:01,462 --> 00:06:03,163 I'VE GOT ONE OF THOSE REALLY GOOD FEELINGS I USUALLY GET-- 116 00:06:03,196 --> 00:06:05,866 A REALLY GOOD FEELING. DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT. 117 00:06:05,899 --> 00:06:08,669 WELL, THAT'S WONDERFUL. 'CAUSE EVERY TIME I GO OUT, 118 00:06:08,702 --> 00:06:10,704 I GET A REALLY GOOD FEELING ABOUT THIS ONE, 119 00:06:10,738 --> 00:06:12,706 AND THAT SEEMS TO NEVER WORK OUT FOR ME. 120 00:06:12,740 --> 00:06:16,143 OKAY, WELL, THAT'S WHERE YOU AND I DIFFER, MY FRIEND, 121 00:06:16,176 --> 00:06:19,413 BECAUSE I HAVE A SECRET WEAPON-- A VERY SECRET WEAPON 122 00:06:19,447 --> 00:06:21,415 WHICH WILL HELP MY SUCCESS. 123 00:06:21,449 --> 00:06:25,519 I GOT MYSELF A BRAND NEW STAGE NAME. 124 00:06:25,553 --> 00:06:27,755 - YOU WANT TO HEAR IT? - YEAH. 125 00:06:27,788 --> 00:06:30,591 HI. I'M GERARD COLBECK. 126 00:06:34,127 --> 00:06:36,930 THAT'S IT. IT'S SICK, RIGHT? 127 00:06:36,964 --> 00:06:39,199 IF YOU'RE DOING GAY PORN. 128 00:06:39,232 --> 00:06:41,201 LOOK, I'LL TAKE CARE OF THIS, OKAY, MAN? 129 00:06:41,234 --> 00:06:43,203 I PROMISE. I'LL FIND THE MONEY SOMEHOW. 130 00:06:43,236 --> 00:06:45,439 I WILL MAKE THIS RIGHT, I SWEAR. 131 00:06:45,473 --> 00:06:48,008 OKAY? 132 00:06:48,041 --> 00:06:50,578 OKAY? ALL RIGHT. 133 00:06:50,611 --> 00:06:52,580 - WISH ME LUCK. I GOTTA GO. - GOOD LUCK. 134 00:06:52,613 --> 00:06:56,083 WAIT, WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO WITH THIS GIRL IN THE BED? 135 00:06:58,251 --> 00:07:00,854 I DON'T KNOW. MAKE HER BREAKFAST. 136 00:07:00,888 --> 00:07:03,223 WELL, WHAT'S HER NAME? 137 00:07:03,256 --> 00:07:06,159 UH, DON'T KNOW. 138 00:07:06,193 --> 00:07:08,228 BUT SHE'S GOT A FETISH FOR WHIPPED CREAM. 139 00:07:08,261 --> 00:07:09,697 IF WE'VE GOT SOME LEFT, USE IT. 140 00:07:09,730 --> 00:07:11,899 REESE'S PIECES. 141 00:07:17,638 --> 00:07:20,808 UH UH, EXCUSE ME, MISS? 142 00:07:20,841 --> 00:07:22,910 HI. 143 00:07:22,943 --> 00:07:24,912 GERARD COBALT? 144 00:07:24,945 --> 00:07:27,648 - COBALT? COLBECK? - COLBECK. 145 00:07:27,681 --> 00:07:31,519 WE ARE SHOOTING A CAMPAIGN FOR BRIONI, ALL RIGHT? 146 00:07:31,552 --> 00:07:33,521 AND HONESTLY, I MEAN, LOOKING AT YOU, 147 00:07:33,554 --> 00:07:35,556 THIS IS KIND OF WHAT WE'RE LOOKING FOR. 148 00:07:35,589 --> 00:07:38,892 I MEAN, YOU-- THIS IS OUR CLIENT MR. HARTLEY 149 00:07:38,926 --> 00:07:42,095 AND MISS BARBRA SKYPES. SHE'S THE OWNER OF THE P.R. FIRM 150 00:07:42,129 --> 00:07:43,831 LAUNCHING THE CAMPAIGN FOR MR. HARTLEY. 151 00:07:43,864 --> 00:07:45,833 - HI. - HOW DO YOU DO? 152 00:07:45,866 --> 00:07:47,935 FIRST OFF, WE'RE JUST GONNA GET A FEW SHOTS, OKAY? 153 00:07:47,968 --> 00:07:50,070 WE'RE JUST GONNA SEE HOW YOU LOOK ON CAMERA 154 00:07:50,103 --> 00:07:51,572 WITH OUR BEAUTIFUL GIADA HERE. 155 00:07:51,605 --> 00:07:53,073 - YES YES? - HELLO, GIADA. PLEASURE. 156 00:07:53,106 --> 00:07:55,142 Photographer: MM-HMM. 157 00:07:55,175 --> 00:07:57,545 - JUST SORT OF GET INTO IT? - JUST, YEAH, SNUGGLE RIGHT UP. 158 00:07:57,578 --> 00:08:00,213 SHE WON'T BITE. ( giggles ) 159 00:08:02,249 --> 00:08:04,184 SNUGGLE RIGHT IN THERE. 160 00:08:06,554 --> 00:08:09,523 YES YES. UH... 161 00:08:25,639 --> 00:08:27,575 UH, I DON'T-- 162 00:08:27,608 --> 00:08:29,877 UM... 163 00:08:32,012 --> 00:08:33,981 UM... 164 00:08:34,014 --> 00:08:35,683 BRIONI. 165 00:08:35,716 --> 00:08:37,284 R-R-R-R. 166 00:08:37,317 --> 00:08:39,286 SOPHISTICATED CHIC, YES? 167 00:08:39,319 --> 00:08:41,555 LET'S JUST TRY SOME OF THOSE LOOKS-- LOTS OF EYES. 168 00:08:41,589 --> 00:08:43,957 YES YES YES? OKAY. 169 00:08:43,991 --> 00:08:45,959 ALL RIGHT, YES. ALIVE EYES. 170 00:08:45,993 --> 00:08:47,961 YOU'RE ALIVE. 171 00:08:47,995 --> 00:08:49,930 YES YES. 172 00:08:52,600 --> 00:08:55,569 LET'S-- 173 00:08:55,603 --> 00:08:57,571 LET'S JUST TRY DOING NOTHING 174 00:08:57,605 --> 00:08:59,573 WITH YOUR-- WITH YOURSELF. 175 00:08:59,607 --> 00:09:02,576 - LET'S JUST TRY EMPTINESS AND EMOTIONLESS. - RIGHT. 176 00:09:02,610 --> 00:09:05,679 JUST STOP DOING EVERYTHING. OKAY. 177 00:09:05,713 --> 00:09:07,547 YES YES. 178 00:09:12,653 --> 00:09:14,855 GOT IT. I THINK WE GOT THAT ONE. 179 00:09:14,888 --> 00:09:17,357 WE'VE REALLY GOT IT. I THINK THAT'S FANTASTIC. OKAY. 180 00:09:17,390 --> 00:09:18,759 REALLY? 181 00:09:18,792 --> 00:09:20,761 VERY VERY EMPTY. 182 00:09:20,794 --> 00:09:23,363 I'M NOT SURE I BROUGHT MY A-GAME TO THE LAST ONE. 183 00:09:23,396 --> 00:09:24,998 WE GOT IT. THANK YOU. 184 00:09:25,032 --> 00:09:27,367 YEAH, IT WAS ACTUALLY PRETTY GOOD. IT WAS PRETTY GOOD. 185 00:09:27,400 --> 00:09:31,605 I ALSO BROUGHT A HEADSHOT FOR YOU GUYS, 186 00:09:31,639 --> 00:09:33,607 IF YOU'LL PARDON THE PUN. 187 00:09:33,641 --> 00:09:35,342 GET IT? HEADSHOT? 188 00:09:35,375 --> 00:09:38,712 YEAH, A HEADSHOT. 189 00:09:38,746 --> 00:09:40,280 ( laughs ) 190 00:09:40,313 --> 00:09:43,150 - WE'LL BE IN TOUCH. - OR NOT. 191 00:09:43,183 --> 00:09:45,318 - JUST THAT WAY. - OKAY. 192 00:09:49,422 --> 00:09:51,892 ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT. 193 00:09:51,925 --> 00:09:54,728 - Ronnie: OH JAKEY. - HEY BUDDY. 194 00:09:54,762 --> 00:09:56,730 - DIDN'T GO VERY WELL, HUH? - I'M SORRY. 195 00:09:56,764 --> 00:09:58,932 I'M SORRY, MAN. DID NOT GO WELL AT ALL. 196 00:09:58,966 --> 00:10:01,034 I DIDN'T HAVE THE RIGHT LOOK THEY WANTED. 197 00:10:01,068 --> 00:10:03,403 IT'S SO STUPID, MAN. THEY WERE GOING FOR THAT MIDDLE AMERICA THING. 198 00:10:03,436 --> 00:10:05,372 - I DON'T GET IT MYSELF. - THAT IS KIND OF STUPID. THANK YOU. 199 00:10:05,405 --> 00:10:07,975 - GRACIAS, JORGE. - JORGE, CAN YOU PLEASE GO IN THE BACK? 200 00:10:08,008 --> 00:10:11,144 I'VE ASKED YOU TO GO GET SOME OLIVES FROM THE BACK. CAN YOU DO THAT, PLEASE? 201 00:10:11,178 --> 00:10:14,181 JORGE. GOD DAMN IT, JORGE. 202 00:10:14,214 --> 00:10:17,284 I'M SORRY. GO. GO BACK THERE. 203 00:10:17,317 --> 00:10:19,787 HEY, GET IN THE GODDAMN KITCHEN. 204 00:10:23,791 --> 00:10:25,993 - WHAT'S THAT GUY'S DEAL? - I DON'T EVEN THINK HE SPEAKS ENGLISH. 205 00:10:26,026 --> 00:10:27,728 I DON'T KNOW IF HE UNDERSTANDS WHAT I'M SAYING. 206 00:10:27,761 --> 00:10:30,698 ALL RIGHT, I HAVE TO GO MAKE SURE HE'S NOT CUTTING HIMSELF AGAIN. 207 00:10:30,731 --> 00:10:33,100 - WOULD YOU WATCH THE BAR? - YEAH YEAH YEAH. 208 00:10:35,402 --> 00:10:37,738 - BABY, HAVE A SEAT. - ALL RIGHT. 209 00:10:37,771 --> 00:10:39,740 ( sighs ) 210 00:10:39,773 --> 00:10:41,742 HEY YO. 211 00:10:41,775 --> 00:10:44,411 HEY YO. CAN I HELP YOU? 212 00:10:44,444 --> 00:10:46,714 - YOU WORK HERE, BUDDY? - I DO INDEED. WHAT CAN I GET YOU? 213 00:10:46,747 --> 00:10:50,684 TWO VODKA TONICS, DOUBLES. WE'RE GETTING CRAZY TONIGHT, BABY. 214 00:10:50,718 --> 00:10:52,219 - YEAH. - YES. 215 00:10:52,252 --> 00:10:54,221 - DOUBLES? GETTING CRAZY, EH, BIG MAN? - YEAH. 216 00:10:54,254 --> 00:10:57,257 - TWO VODKA TONICS COMING RIGHT UP. - WE'RE GETTING CRAZY. 217 00:10:57,290 --> 00:10:59,259 ( both laugh ) 218 00:10:59,292 --> 00:11:01,361 GETTING CRAZY. SORRY, I FORGET YOUR NAME. 219 00:11:01,394 --> 00:11:04,364 - I DIDN'T TELL YOU. - OH, OKAY. 220 00:11:05,833 --> 00:11:08,268 TWO VODKA TONICS. 221 00:11:09,870 --> 00:11:13,340 - YOU'RE AN AIR SIGN, RIGHT? - YES. HOW DID YOU KNOW THAT? 222 00:11:13,373 --> 00:11:17,144 I'M GONNA SAY YOU ARE AN AQUARIUS. 223 00:11:17,177 --> 00:11:19,346 YES. THAT IS CRAZY. 224 00:11:19,379 --> 00:11:21,281 OH MY GOD, ARE YOU LIKE PSYCHIC OR SOMETHING? 225 00:11:21,314 --> 00:11:22,649 - HEY BUDDY, HEY BUDDY. - HOLD ON, PAL. 226 00:11:22,682 --> 00:11:25,118 - JUST MAKE THE DRINKS, ALL RIGHT? - ONE SEC, BUDDY, ONE SEC. 227 00:11:25,152 --> 00:11:28,221 - MY NAME IS CINDI. - CINDI? HMM. 228 00:11:28,255 --> 00:11:32,192 CINDI, YOU DON'T STRIKE ME AS A VODKA TONIC KIND OF GAL. 229 00:11:32,225 --> 00:11:34,762 I'M GONNA GO AHEAD AND SAY 230 00:11:34,795 --> 00:11:37,464 YOUR FAVORITE DRINK IS 231 00:11:37,497 --> 00:11:39,466 A STRAWBERRY MOJITO. 232 00:11:39,499 --> 00:11:43,236 OH MY GOSH, THAT IS MY FRIGGIN' FAVORITE. 233 00:11:43,270 --> 00:11:46,740 ( both laugh ) 234 00:11:46,774 --> 00:11:50,878 YEAH, I THINK WHAT WE SHOULD DO IS 235 00:11:50,911 --> 00:11:53,346 ONCE YOU'RE DONE WITH VON DOUCHE HERE, YOU AND I GET TOGETHER 236 00:11:53,380 --> 00:11:55,482 - AND GRAB THAT STRAWBERRY MOJITO. - WHOA, WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY? 237 00:11:55,515 --> 00:11:58,385 - I SAID ONCE YOU'RE DONE-- - HEY, COME HERE. 238 00:11:58,418 --> 00:12:00,087 - COME HERE. COME HERE. - WHAT? 239 00:12:00,120 --> 00:12:02,756 - OH! - I'LL CUT YOU. 240 00:12:02,790 --> 00:12:05,325 - ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT. ENOUGH WITH THE 'ROID RAGE. - GET YOURSELF A TAN, ALL RIGHT? 241 00:12:05,358 --> 00:12:07,761 - SHE ALREADY HAS THIS. - HEY, ENOUGH. 242 00:12:07,795 --> 00:12:11,231 - SHE DOESN'T NEED THAT. - ENOUGH WITH THE 'ROID RAGE ALREADY. TAKE YOUR DRINK. 243 00:12:11,264 --> 00:12:12,532 - HAVE A SANDWICH, BUDDY. - IT'S OKAY. 244 00:12:12,565 --> 00:12:14,768 - WHAT'S UP WITH THAT? - Ronnie: I'M SORRY. 245 00:12:14,802 --> 00:12:16,770 - Cindi: ENOUGH. - HAVE A SEAT, BABY. 246 00:12:16,804 --> 00:12:19,439 - YOU ARE OUT OF CONTROL. - WHY YOU GOTTA FLIRT WITH EVERYONE, EH? 247 00:12:19,472 --> 00:12:22,542 I LEAVE YOU FOR TWO MINUTES, YOU'RE STARTING FIGHTS IN MY BAR. 248 00:12:22,575 --> 00:12:25,112 - I BUILT THIS FOR YOU. IT'S YOURS. IT'S MY GIFT. - ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT. 249 00:12:25,145 --> 00:12:27,447 WHY YOU GOTTA LOOK AT HIM-- PALE BOY OVER THERE? 250 00:12:27,480 --> 00:12:30,884 DID YOU DO YOUR ASTROLOGY MAGIC? 251 00:12:30,918 --> 00:12:32,419 - I DID INDEED. - YES, DID IT WORK? 252 00:12:32,452 --> 00:12:34,421 APPARENTLY IT'S ONE-IN-FOUR CHANCES, 253 00:12:34,454 --> 00:12:37,424 AND THE REST IS JUST LUCK, SO, I DON'T KNOW, THE BEST ODDS I'LL EVER GET. 254 00:12:37,457 --> 00:12:40,527 - HI JAKE. - JESUS. WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE? 255 00:12:40,560 --> 00:12:42,429 I CAME TO SEE YOU. HELLO. 256 00:12:42,462 --> 00:12:44,097 YEAH, WE SHOULD PUT A BELL AROUND YOUR NECK. 257 00:12:44,131 --> 00:12:46,299 HOW DID YOUR AUDITION GO? 258 00:12:46,333 --> 00:12:48,235 APPARENTLY HE'S NOT MIDDLE AMERICA ENOUGH. 259 00:12:48,268 --> 00:12:51,104 - HE'S BEEN WEEPING IN HIS BEER FOR LIKE 20 MINUTES. - OH, I'M SORRY. 260 00:12:51,138 --> 00:12:54,041 MAYBE MOUSE CAN HELP YOU FEEL BETTER. ( laughs ) 261 00:12:54,074 --> 00:12:56,944 MAYBE MOUSE CAN KEEP HER HANDS TO HERSELF. 262 00:12:56,977 --> 00:12:58,846 WAIT A SEC. WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING HERE ANYWAYS? 263 00:12:58,879 --> 00:13:00,413 AREN'T YOU SUPPOSED TO BE AT WORK? 264 00:13:00,447 --> 00:13:02,415 YEAH, WELL, 265 00:13:02,449 --> 00:13:04,417 THINGS GOT A LITTLE FIRM AT THE FIRM 266 00:13:04,451 --> 00:13:05,819 AND I HAD SEX WITH A CLIENT. 267 00:13:05,853 --> 00:13:07,821 I'M SORRY. YOU HAD SEX WITH YOUR CLIENT? 268 00:13:07,855 --> 00:13:09,256 - SO YOU GOT FIRED? - SHOCKING. 269 00:13:09,289 --> 00:13:11,458 - WOW. - MY BOSS FOUND OUT ABOUT IT, 270 00:13:11,491 --> 00:13:13,927 - SO I HAD SEX WITH HIM TOO. - NICE. 271 00:13:13,961 --> 00:13:16,864 - AND SO THEN WE BOTH GOT FIRED. - THAT'S INTERESTING. 272 00:13:16,897 --> 00:13:18,866 THAT'S GREAT. THAT MAKES TWO OF US 273 00:13:18,899 --> 00:13:22,102 WHO DON'T HAVE JOBS OR ANY MONEY. 274 00:13:22,135 --> 00:13:24,872 ( Italian accent ) THIS IS ONE OF MY FAVORITE PLACES IN TOWN. 275 00:13:24,905 --> 00:13:26,506 I'LL GET YOU THE CREAM-FILLED SKIN ROLL. 276 00:13:26,539 --> 00:13:28,508 - LET'S GO. - OOH, NICE. 277 00:13:28,541 --> 00:13:31,078 - WHAT A BOTTOM FEEDER. - LET'S SIT DOWN, NO? 278 00:13:31,111 --> 00:13:33,413 HE'S FOR HIRE. 279 00:13:33,446 --> 00:13:34,781 WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? WHAT DO YOU MEAN, HE'S FOR HIRE? 280 00:13:34,814 --> 00:13:38,018 - YEAH, LIKE AN ESCORT. - THERE'S NO SUCH THING AS A MALE ESCORT. 281 00:13:38,051 --> 00:13:40,854 - OH, YOU GUYS ARE SO NAIVE. - THAT GUY'S A PROSTITUTE? 282 00:13:40,888 --> 00:13:42,856 HE'S A PRETTY HOT ITEM IN THE COUGAR WORLD. 283 00:13:42,890 --> 00:13:45,893 FIVE YEARS YOUNGER, I WOULD SUCK YOUR FACE OFF RIGHT HERE. 284 00:13:45,926 --> 00:13:47,260 - WAITER! - YOU SHOULD GO BUST IN ON THEM, 285 00:13:47,294 --> 00:13:49,462 BECAUSE COMPARED TO HIS LITTLE FAUCET, 286 00:13:49,496 --> 00:13:51,398 YOURS IS A FREAKIN' FIRE HOSE. 287 00:13:51,431 --> 00:13:53,266 SHE WOULD FLIP. 288 00:13:53,300 --> 00:13:56,870 - EVERYBODY KNOW JAKE HAS A GIANT DICK. - YEAH, I'M JUST SAYING-- 289 00:13:56,904 --> 00:13:58,505 WAITER, TWO MARTINIS, PLEASE. 290 00:13:58,538 --> 00:14:00,040 CHA-CHA-CHA. 291 00:14:00,073 --> 00:14:02,342 WOMEN WOULD PAY FOR THAT MUSCLE OF YOURS. 292 00:14:02,375 --> 00:14:04,511 GUYS, ENOUGH. 293 00:14:04,544 --> 00:14:05,645 I MEAN, COME ON. 294 00:14:05,678 --> 00:14:07,647 YES, THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT YOU NEED. 295 00:14:07,680 --> 00:14:09,950 HEY, BARKEEP, CAN WE GET A ROUND OF DRINKS? 296 00:14:09,983 --> 00:14:11,952 LOOK, NOW JORGE'S POURING DRINKS. 297 00:14:11,985 --> 00:14:13,486 WHOO! ONE FOR YOU, ONE FOR YOU... 298 00:14:13,520 --> 00:14:16,123 - YOU'RE NOT QUALIFIED. - Jake: JORGE, CAN YOU PASS ME A VODKA? 299 00:14:16,156 --> 00:14:17,891 TWO FOR YOU AND FOR YOU. LOOKING GOOD. 300 00:14:17,925 --> 00:14:19,893 JORGE, GET ME ANOTHER BEER TOO, WILL YOU? 301 00:14:19,927 --> 00:14:22,930 * PARTY PARTY 302 00:14:22,963 --> 00:14:25,065 * THAT GIRL'S GOT IT REAL... * 303 00:14:25,098 --> 00:14:28,368 - JORGE. - AH. 304 00:14:28,401 --> 00:14:30,971 HE JUST DOES THIS NOW. 305 00:14:31,004 --> 00:14:32,305 MORE. COME ON. 306 00:14:32,339 --> 00:14:34,374 ( upbeat song continues ) 307 00:14:53,226 --> 00:14:55,228 WHOO! 308 00:15:00,600 --> 00:15:02,635 I LOVE YOU. 309 00:15:15,715 --> 00:15:19,252 OH GOD. 310 00:15:19,286 --> 00:15:21,254 GOOD MORNING, SUNSHINE. 311 00:15:21,288 --> 00:15:23,256 WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE? 312 00:15:23,290 --> 00:15:25,525 I SLEPT OVER, SILLY. 313 00:15:25,558 --> 00:15:27,927 OH GOD. DID WE HAVE SEX? 314 00:15:31,999 --> 00:15:35,668 FEELS LIKE WE HAD SEX. 315 00:15:35,702 --> 00:15:37,670 DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT, JAKEY. 316 00:15:37,704 --> 00:15:40,740 THE IMPORTANT THING IS WE ALL HAD FUN. 317 00:15:40,773 --> 00:15:45,412 WHAT-- WHAT DOES THAT MEAN EXACTLY? 318 00:15:45,445 --> 00:15:48,281 IT MEANS WHAT IT MEANS. 319 00:15:48,315 --> 00:15:50,483 - DO YOU LIKE MY P.J.s? - ( door opens ) 320 00:15:50,517 --> 00:15:53,286 DID YOU GUYS HAVE SEX? 321 00:15:53,320 --> 00:15:56,123 I DON'T KNOW. SHE WON'T TELL ME. 322 00:15:56,156 --> 00:15:59,126 WELL, GUESS WHAT, JAKE. IT'S TOMORROW MORNING ALREADY. 323 00:15:59,159 --> 00:16:02,029 YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS? STU'S ON HIS WAY OVER HERE. 324 00:16:02,062 --> 00:16:03,630 - DID YOU MAKE COFFEE? - YEAH, THERE'S COFFEE OUT THERE. 325 00:16:03,663 --> 00:16:06,633 - THE LANDLORD'S COMING OVER. WHAT ARE WE GONNA DO? - ALL RIGHT. 326 00:16:06,666 --> 00:16:08,701 - SHH. - SHH-- IS MONEY COMING OUT OF YOUR MOUTH? 327 00:16:08,735 --> 00:16:10,070 WHERE'S THE MONEY, JAKE? 328 00:16:10,103 --> 00:16:12,772 COFFEE COFFEE COFFEE. 329 00:16:12,805 --> 00:16:15,275 WHAT ARE WE GONNA DO, GUYS? 330 00:16:15,308 --> 00:16:18,578 - ABOUT WHAT? - THE MONEY, MOUSE, THE MONEY. 331 00:16:18,611 --> 00:16:20,547 - HE OWES ME MONEY. - I'M THINKING, OKAY? 332 00:16:20,580 --> 00:16:23,650 - MY LANDLORD IS COMING IN, LIKE, 20 MINUTES. - SERIOUSLY, CALM DOWN. 333 00:16:23,683 --> 00:16:25,652 GOD. 334 00:16:25,685 --> 00:16:27,454 OKAY, JAKE, 335 00:16:27,487 --> 00:16:30,157 NO OFFENSE OR ANYTHING, BUT THE ONLY MODELING YOU'VE EVER DONE 336 00:16:30,190 --> 00:16:32,792 IS ON THIS WALL RIGHT HERE, RIGHT? 337 00:16:32,825 --> 00:16:35,495 - IT'S A GOOD SHOT, RIGHT? - YOU CAN'T REALLY SEE YOUR FACE, CAN YOU? 338 00:16:35,528 --> 00:16:39,499 I THINK THAT IT'S PROBABLY TIME FOR YOU TO MOVE ON, 339 00:16:39,532 --> 00:16:42,035 YOU KNOW, DO OTHER THINGS WITH YOUR LIFE, 340 00:16:42,069 --> 00:16:44,371 LEAVE THE MODELING THING IN THE PAST. 341 00:16:44,404 --> 00:16:46,373 WHAT, ARE YOU SAYING I'M A BAD MODEL? 342 00:16:46,406 --> 00:16:48,475 ( laughs ) 343 00:16:48,508 --> 00:16:50,377 JAKE, YOU'RE A FREAKIN' TERRIBLE MODEL. 344 00:16:50,410 --> 00:16:51,611 OUCH, RONNIE. 345 00:16:51,644 --> 00:16:54,681 I'M SORRY, YOU ARE. SOMEONE HAD TO SAY IT. 346 00:16:54,714 --> 00:16:56,416 YOU'RE A BAD-- YOU'RE NOT A GOOD MODEL. 347 00:16:56,449 --> 00:16:59,186 YOU DON'T HAVE TO BE SO HARSH, MAN, I MEAN, YOU KNOW? 348 00:16:59,219 --> 00:17:02,389 OKAY, I'M SORRY. I DIDN'T MEAN TO BE HARSH. 349 00:17:02,422 --> 00:17:05,058 IT'S JUST I'M HAVING A HARD TIME 350 00:17:05,092 --> 00:17:07,060 PAYING MY STUDENT LOAN FROM MY USELESS M.B.A. 351 00:17:07,094 --> 00:17:08,728 AND SUPPORTING YOU AT THE SAME TIME. 352 00:17:08,761 --> 00:17:10,430 AND MAYBE YOU SHOULD GO OUT IN THE WORLD, 353 00:17:10,463 --> 00:17:12,765 GET YOUR STUFF TOGETHER, GET A JOB 354 00:17:12,799 --> 00:17:15,068 AND DO SOMETHING WITH YOUR LIFE. 355 00:17:15,102 --> 00:17:17,170 MOUSE, YOU THINK I'M A GOOD MODEL, RIGHT? 356 00:17:17,204 --> 00:17:19,172 OH, YEAH YEAH. 357 00:17:19,206 --> 00:17:22,342 THE DIP IN BETWEEN YOUR BUTT CHEEKS AND THE BACK OF YOUR THIGH, 358 00:17:22,375 --> 00:17:24,811 ESPECIALLY THE RIGHT SIDE-- HELLO. 359 00:17:24,844 --> 00:17:26,846 ALL RIGHT, WHATEVER. THE POINT IS 360 00:17:26,879 --> 00:17:29,782 THIS IS A PRETTY SERIOUS SITUATION, OKAY? WE'VE GOT TO FIGURE SOMETHING OUT. 361 00:17:29,816 --> 00:17:31,851 YES, JAKE, YES. 362 00:17:31,884 --> 00:17:35,255 MAYBE YOU SHOULD REASSESS YOUR SKILL SET 363 00:17:35,288 --> 00:17:37,524 AND GET A JOB YOU'RE ACTUALLY GOOD AT. 364 00:17:37,557 --> 00:17:39,726 THAT'S ACTUALLY NOT A BAD IDEA. 365 00:17:39,759 --> 00:17:42,195 ALL RIGHT, WHAT ARE SOME SKILLS THAT I HAVE, 366 00:17:42,229 --> 00:17:43,830 - THINGS I'M GOOD AT? - PICKING UP WOMEN. 367 00:17:43,863 --> 00:17:45,865 DOING WOMEN, 368 00:17:45,898 --> 00:17:48,835 NOT THAT I WOULD KNOW FROM RECENT EXPERIENCE. 369 00:17:48,868 --> 00:17:51,104 OKAY, WHAT ELSE? 370 00:17:51,138 --> 00:17:53,106 I THINK THAT'S IT. I THINK THAT MIGHT BE IT. 371 00:17:53,140 --> 00:17:54,474 - JAKE. - WHAT? 372 00:17:54,507 --> 00:17:56,109 THAT COUGAR FROM LAST NIGHT. 373 00:17:56,143 --> 00:17:57,777 OH, MAN, I DIDN'T SLEEP WITH HER, DID I? 374 00:17:57,810 --> 00:17:59,746 NO NO, THE BOY TOY THAT SHE WAS WITH. 375 00:17:59,779 --> 00:18:01,748 I DEFINITELY DIDN'T SLEEP WITH THAT GUY. I'D REMEMBER THAT. 376 00:18:01,781 --> 00:18:03,816 NO, THAT'S NOT WHAT I'M SAYING, ALTHOUGH THAT'D BE HOT. 377 00:18:03,850 --> 00:18:06,219 NO, DO YOU REMEMBER HIM? 378 00:18:06,253 --> 00:18:08,721 - YEAH, VAGUELY. - WELL, I THINK 379 00:18:08,755 --> 00:18:11,291 HE MAKES A PRETTY GOOD LIVING TAKING OUT LONELY BABES. 380 00:18:11,324 --> 00:18:13,760 I BET HE DOES. 381 00:18:13,793 --> 00:18:16,196 AND YOU COULD PROBABLY DO THE SAME. 382 00:18:16,229 --> 00:18:19,232 OH, NO, THAT'S A TERRIBLE IDEA. 383 00:18:20,833 --> 00:18:22,869 I COULD BANG FOR BUCKS. 384 00:18:24,904 --> 00:18:27,774 - EVERYONE'S GOT TO MAKE A LIVING. - THAT'S GROSS. 385 00:18:27,807 --> 00:18:29,209 OH, NO, I THINK I COULD DO THAT. 386 00:18:29,242 --> 00:18:31,778 - I COULD BE YOUR MANAGER. - OH MY GOD. 387 00:18:31,811 --> 00:18:33,913 WAIT A SEC. YOU MEAN PIMP. YOU WANT TO BE MY PIMP. 388 00:18:33,946 --> 00:18:37,417 MANAGER. MANAGER SOUNDS BETTER ON A BUSINESS CARD. 389 00:18:37,450 --> 00:18:39,852 YEAH, YOU KNOW, WITH MY P.R. SKILLS 390 00:18:39,886 --> 00:18:42,155 AND MY OLD JOB ALONE-- I KNOW SO MANY COUGS 391 00:18:42,189 --> 00:18:44,457 THAT WOULD LOVE TO TAKE OUT LITTLE JAKEY HERE, 392 00:18:44,491 --> 00:18:47,494 OR SHOULD I SAY BIG JAKEY? 393 00:18:47,527 --> 00:18:49,729 OH. OKAY. 394 00:18:49,762 --> 00:18:51,731 ALL RIGHT, JUST SAY I DO THIS-- 395 00:18:51,764 --> 00:18:55,268 I WOULDN'T WANT TO SLEEP WITH ALL THE WOMEN, BECAUSE I'D FEEL SOMEWHAT DIRTY. 396 00:18:55,302 --> 00:18:57,270 OH, COME ON, YOU'VE BEEN DIRTIER. 397 00:18:57,304 --> 00:18:59,306 - WOULD I HAVE TO SLEEP WITH ALL THE WOMEN? - NOT IF YOU DON'T WANT TO. 398 00:18:59,339 --> 00:19:01,908 OH, DUDE, I CAN GO BY GERARD-- MY STAGE NAME. 399 00:19:01,941 --> 00:19:04,411 - GERARD. - YEAH, I LIKE IT-- GERARD. 400 00:19:04,444 --> 00:19:07,680 OKAY. WE COULD MAKE SOME REAL MONEY OFF THIS, COULDN'T WE? 401 00:19:07,714 --> 00:19:09,949 OH, TOTALLY. I MEAN, DEFINITELY. 402 00:19:09,982 --> 00:19:13,253 IN A COUPLE OF WEEKS WE'LL BE ROLLING IN IT. 403 00:19:13,286 --> 00:19:15,255 OF COURSE IN THE BEGINNING 404 00:19:15,288 --> 00:19:16,956 THERE'LL BE SOME START-UP COSTS. 405 00:19:16,989 --> 00:19:18,858 HOW MUCH MONEY DID YOU MAKE LAST NIGHT? 406 00:19:18,891 --> 00:19:20,860 HUH-UH. HUH-UH. 407 00:19:20,893 --> 00:19:24,931 - RONNIE MONEY, WE NEED YOU. - NO NO. 408 00:19:24,964 --> 00:19:28,235 - WE NEED IT. OH, COME ON, PLEASE. - NO NO. 409 00:19:28,268 --> 00:19:31,538 IN NO TIME HE'S GONNA HAVE THE PAYBACK AND THE RENT-- IN A WEEK, I PROMISE. 410 00:19:31,571 --> 00:19:33,973 AND I PROMISE, IF YOU FRONT ME THIS CASH 411 00:19:34,006 --> 00:19:37,377 PLUS TWO WEEKS' RENT, I'LL TOTALLY PAY YOU BACK. 412 00:19:37,410 --> 00:19:41,314 NOTHING TO LOSE AND EVERYTHING TO GAIN. 413 00:19:41,348 --> 00:19:43,716 COME ON. YOU MIGHT EVEN GET A GIRLFRIEND. 414 00:19:43,750 --> 00:19:45,885 - FINE FINE. - ( squeals ) 415 00:19:45,918 --> 00:19:47,887 RONNIE MONEY HONEY, 416 00:19:47,920 --> 00:19:49,889 HONEY, WE'RE GONNA MAKE SOME MONEY. 417 00:19:49,922 --> 00:19:52,559 I'M THE PIMP. I'M THE PIMP. WHO'S THE PIMP NOW? 418 00:19:52,592 --> 00:19:54,961 LOOK, FIRST THINGS FIRST. 419 00:19:54,994 --> 00:19:57,964 IF YOU'RE GONNA GO FOR A COUGAR, YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO STEP IT UP A NOTCH, 420 00:19:57,997 --> 00:19:59,966 - GET YOU SOME STYLE. - ALL RIGHT, WHATEVER. 421 00:19:59,999 --> 00:20:02,769 OH WAIT, I THINK THIS IS IT. YEP, IT IS. 422 00:20:02,802 --> 00:20:05,805 OKAY, HE'S DOING ME A HUGE FAVOR, SO COME ON. 423 00:20:05,838 --> 00:20:07,974 - HI. - HI. 424 00:20:08,007 --> 00:20:10,377 - DOMINIC HAS BEEN WAITING FOR YOU. - HEY, I'M JAKE. 425 00:20:10,410 --> 00:20:12,379 - UM, YOU CAN STEP UP. - OF COURSE, YEAH. 426 00:20:12,412 --> 00:20:14,381 - DOMINIC. - HI. 427 00:20:14,414 --> 00:20:17,350 - THIS IS JAKE. - YEAH, YOU'RE ALREADY JUMPING UP THERE, ARE YOU? 428 00:20:17,384 --> 00:20:19,352 - HEY, HOW ARE YOU? - HOW ARE YOU DOING? 429 00:20:19,386 --> 00:20:22,255 - GOOD, THANK YOU. GREAT. - WELL WELL WELL. 430 00:20:22,289 --> 00:20:24,957 OOH, SOMEONE MADE THE RIGHT CAREER CHOICE. 431 00:20:24,991 --> 00:20:26,926 ( Mouse and Dominic laugh ) 432 00:20:26,959 --> 00:20:29,529 I DIDN'T HAVE MY BREAKFAST TODAY, SO YOU'D BETTER WATCH OUT. 433 00:20:29,562 --> 00:20:32,299 I MEAN, BOING! HELLO. 434 00:20:32,332 --> 00:20:35,368 - LET ME JUST CHECK THIS INSEAM RIGHT HERE. - DUDE. 435 00:20:35,402 --> 00:20:38,505 WOULDN'T WANT YOU BURSTING OUT OF THOSE BRITCHES NOW, WOULD WE? 436 00:20:38,538 --> 00:20:41,040 - WOW. - THANKS SO MUCH FOR DOING THIS. 437 00:20:41,073 --> 00:20:43,876 - YOU'RE SUCH A SWEETHEART. - Both: MWAH! 438 00:20:43,910 --> 00:20:46,813 UH, MOUSY, WHAT IS JORGE DOING HERE? 439 00:20:46,846 --> 00:20:48,781 - HE'S MY INTERN. - HE'S YOUR INTERN? 440 00:20:48,815 --> 00:20:51,351 DOES RONNIE KNOW? BECAUSE I'M SURE HE'D BE VERY INTERESTED 441 00:20:51,384 --> 00:20:53,353 TO FIND OUT YOU'RE POACHING HIS EMPLOYEES. 442 00:20:53,386 --> 00:20:56,055 UM, SWEETIE, YOU'VE GOT A BIG OLD PACKAGE, 443 00:20:56,088 --> 00:20:58,057 BUT YOU NEED A BODY. 444 00:20:58,090 --> 00:21:01,461 LISTEN, I CAN TAILOR YOU ALL UP AND MAKE YOU LOOK ALL HOT AND SHIT. 445 00:21:01,494 --> 00:21:05,432 HOWEVER, YOU NEED SOME GYM ACTION. 446 00:21:05,465 --> 00:21:08,935 LOOK AT THESE FLABBY ARMS HERE, LITTLE CHICKEN ARMS. 447 00:21:08,968 --> 00:21:11,571 - ( squawks ) - HE'S RIGHT, JAKE. 448 00:21:11,604 --> 00:21:14,574 OKAY, SO DO YOU HAVE ANY SUGGESTIONS FOR ME? I LIVE OFF LAUREL CANYON. 449 00:21:14,607 --> 00:21:16,576 DO I HAVE ANY SUGGESTIONS? 450 00:21:16,609 --> 00:21:19,078 I AM AN OVERLY OPINIONATED HOMOSEXUAL 451 00:21:19,111 --> 00:21:21,080 LIVING IN WEST HOLLYWOOD. 452 00:21:21,113 --> 00:21:23,450 I AM THE PROUD FATHER 453 00:21:23,483 --> 00:21:26,653 OF A PUREBRED COCKAPOO-- LITTLE LILY ALLEN. 454 00:21:26,686 --> 00:21:29,656 - YOU WOULD DIE FOR HER. - AWW. 455 00:21:29,689 --> 00:21:30,923 DO I KNOW A GYM? 456 00:21:30,957 --> 00:21:34,594 HONEY, A BUTCH GYM, LIKE YOU. 457 00:21:34,627 --> 00:21:37,964 AND COME ON BACK HERE AND I'LL HAVE YOU WORK ON SOME GLUTES. 458 00:21:37,997 --> 00:21:39,766 SO WE'RE ALL THROUGH HERE, RIGHT? 459 00:21:39,799 --> 00:21:41,768 GOOD STUFF. THANK YOU. THANK YOU. 460 00:21:41,801 --> 00:21:43,436 - Dominic: KEEP IT COMING. - I'LL WAIT OUTSIDE. 461 00:21:43,470 --> 00:21:45,438 OH GOD. 462 00:21:45,472 --> 00:21:47,440 OH MY GOD. 463 00:21:47,474 --> 00:21:50,377 THIS IS YOUR GENIUS PLAN, P.R. GURU-- 464 00:21:50,410 --> 00:21:52,111 PLACE AN AD IN A NEWSPAPER? 465 00:21:52,144 --> 00:21:54,547 WHO EVEN READS A NEWSPAPER ANYMORE? 466 00:21:54,581 --> 00:21:57,550 I KNOW WOMEN WHO READ ARE A LITTLE BIT OUT OF YOUR COMFORT ZONE, 467 00:21:57,584 --> 00:22:00,387 BUT I'M TELLING YOU THIS IS OUR PERFECT TARGET DEMO. 468 00:22:00,420 --> 00:22:02,389 - PLEASE, I KNOW HOW TO READ. - YEAH. 469 00:22:02,422 --> 00:22:04,891 - WELL, IF YOU SAY SO. - YEAH, I SAY SO. 470 00:22:04,924 --> 00:22:06,893 - HEY LOOK, JUST GO PLACE THIS AD. - ALL RIGHT. 471 00:22:06,926 --> 00:22:09,662 BECAUSE I HAVE TO MAKE SOME PHONE CALLS TO GET YOU SOME BUSINESS. 472 00:22:09,696 --> 00:22:12,665 ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT. THANK YOU, THANK YOU. 473 00:22:12,699 --> 00:22:15,935 - HELLO THERE. - GOOD MORNING. I'M JEANIE. 474 00:22:15,968 --> 00:22:17,870 - HELLO, JEANIE. - WELCOME TO "THE HOLLYWOOD BEAT," 475 00:22:17,904 --> 00:22:20,139 THE LARGEST AND LONGEST-RUNNING INDUSTRY NEWSPAPER IN ALL OF LOS ANGELES, 476 00:22:20,172 --> 00:22:24,043 ESTABLISHED 1921, WINNER OF THE 2009 REEL TIME AWARD FOR ENTERTAINMENT JOURNALISM. 477 00:22:24,076 --> 00:22:25,512 HOW CAN I HELP YOU? 478 00:22:25,545 --> 00:22:27,547 THEY REALLY MAKE YOU SAY A LOT, DON'T THEY? 479 00:22:27,580 --> 00:22:29,516 YEAH, THEY DO. 480 00:22:29,549 --> 00:22:31,551 MY NAME IS JAKE DYLAN. 481 00:22:31,584 --> 00:22:34,454 AND I'M LOOKING TO PUT AN AD IN THE NEXT WEEK'S NEWSPAPER. 482 00:22:34,487 --> 00:22:36,589 OH GREAT. I WILL CALL OUR ADVERTISING MANAGER. 483 00:22:36,623 --> 00:22:37,824 PERFECT. THANK YOU. 484 00:22:37,857 --> 00:22:39,826 ROBERT, I HAVE A MR. DYLAN HERE 485 00:22:39,859 --> 00:22:41,861 THAT WOULD LIKE TO PLACE AN AD. 486 00:22:45,932 --> 00:22:48,401 GREAT. HE'LL BE RIGHT OUT. 487 00:22:48,435 --> 00:22:51,103 - PERFECT. - CAN YOU DO ME A FAVOR? 488 00:22:51,137 --> 00:22:53,540 I WOULD LOVE TO DO YOU A FAVOR. 489 00:22:53,573 --> 00:22:55,542 BE PATIENT WITH HIM. 490 00:22:55,575 --> 00:22:58,511 HE'S VERY SENSITIVE ABOUT HIS IMPAIRMENT. 491 00:22:58,545 --> 00:23:00,413 HIS IMPAIRMENT? 492 00:23:00,447 --> 00:23:03,416 YOU'LL SEE. JUST BE PATIENT. 493 00:23:03,450 --> 00:23:06,786 THANK YOU. THANKS A LOT. 494 00:23:06,819 --> 00:23:10,523 - ACTUALLY, YOU MIND IF I ASK YOU A QUESTION? - SURE. 495 00:23:10,557 --> 00:23:13,460 YOU SEEM TO BE IN OUTSTANDING SHAPE. 496 00:23:13,493 --> 00:23:15,528 I WAS WONDERING IF THERE WAS, LIKE, A GYM 497 00:23:15,562 --> 00:23:17,464 OR SOMETHING LIKE A GYM AROUND HERE 498 00:23:17,497 --> 00:23:19,832 WHERE I COULD MAYBE, YOU KNOW, BULK UP A LITTLE BIT. 499 00:23:19,866 --> 00:23:22,435 YEAH, ACTUALLY I GO TO A GREAT YOGA STUDIO DOWN THE STREET 500 00:23:22,469 --> 00:23:25,905 - CALLED BACK DOOR YOGA. - BACK DOOR YOGA? 501 00:23:25,938 --> 00:23:27,674 THEY HAVE GREAT BERRY PROTEIN SHAKES 502 00:23:27,707 --> 00:23:30,176 AND MY FRIEND NORAH IS THE INSTRUCTOR. SHE'S REALLY GOOD. 503 00:23:30,209 --> 00:23:32,044 HER MOM'S BEST FRIENDS WITH MY MOM. 504 00:23:32,078 --> 00:23:34,481 YEAH, BUT IT'S GREAT FOR YOUR CORE. 505 00:23:34,514 --> 00:23:38,117 CLEARLY-- CLEARLY GREAT FOR YOUR CORE. 506 00:23:38,150 --> 00:23:40,219 IT'S NOT LIKE A GREASY, SWEATY, SMELLY-- 507 00:23:40,252 --> 00:23:42,989 OH, NO NO, JUST GOOD OLD AMERICAN YOGA. 508 00:23:43,022 --> 00:23:46,459 BUT THE CLASSES ARE MOSTLY GIRLS. 509 00:23:46,493 --> 00:23:48,628 - WELL, THAT'S OKAY. - EXCEPT FOR ROBERT-- MY BOSS. 510 00:23:48,661 --> 00:23:50,630 I TOOK ROBERT ONCE AND NOW HE GOES ALL THE TIME. 511 00:23:50,663 --> 00:23:52,632 YOU LOVE IT, DON'T YOU, ROBERT? 512 00:23:52,665 --> 00:23:53,733 HELLO. 513 00:23:53,766 --> 00:23:55,535 ROBERT, THIS IS JAKE. 514 00:23:55,568 --> 00:23:57,537 ( stuttering ) MM-- 515 00:23:57,570 --> 00:24:01,574 MR. DYLAN. 516 00:24:01,608 --> 00:24:03,242 - YO. - JAKE. 517 00:24:03,275 --> 00:24:05,177 HERE'S ALL THE INFORMATION THAT YOU WILL NEED. 518 00:24:05,211 --> 00:24:08,114 AND I HOPE TO SEE YOU AT YOGA. 519 00:24:08,147 --> 00:24:10,483 I HOPE TO SEE YOU AT YOGA TOO. THANK YOU. 520 00:24:10,517 --> 00:24:12,485 OH, DON'T WANT TO FORGET THIS. 521 00:24:12,519 --> 00:24:15,454 CAN'T FORGET MY AD, CAN I? THANK YOU. 522 00:24:23,830 --> 00:24:25,932 Jake: OKAY, IT'S JUST-- 523 00:24:25,965 --> 00:24:28,801 - ( stuttering ) - OH, SORRY. 524 00:24:28,835 --> 00:24:32,505 DO YOU MIND? 525 00:24:34,006 --> 00:24:39,178 S-S-S-S-S-SO 526 00:24:39,211 --> 00:24:44,116 YOU WANT TO PLACE AN AD? 527 00:24:44,150 --> 00:24:45,552 YES, I WOULD INDEED. 528 00:24:45,585 --> 00:24:47,119 RIGHT HERE. 529 00:24:47,153 --> 00:24:48,220 "BOY TOY FOR HIRE. 530 00:24:48,254 --> 00:24:50,256 ARE YOU BORED WITH LONELY NIGHTS ALONE? 531 00:24:50,289 --> 00:24:52,258 ARE YOU TIRED OF BEING A THIRD WHEEL? 532 00:24:52,291 --> 00:24:54,260 DO YOU JUST WANT TO HAVE SOME FUN? 533 00:24:54,293 --> 00:24:56,262 WELL, IF SO, CALL THE BOY TOY! 534 00:24:56,295 --> 00:24:59,666 555-0188. SATISFACTION AND DISCRETION GUARANTEED." 535 00:24:59,699 --> 00:25:02,535 BLAH BLAH BLAH. THERE YOU GO. 536 00:25:02,569 --> 00:25:05,605 THERE'S A PICTURE THAT GOES WITH IT TOO. 537 00:25:09,676 --> 00:25:11,243 NICE, EH? 538 00:25:13,312 --> 00:25:18,217 OKEY-DOKEY. 539 00:25:18,250 --> 00:25:22,254 I GOTTA CALL IT 540 00:25:22,288 --> 00:25:25,224 TO MY DESIGNER. 541 00:25:27,293 --> 00:25:30,096 S-S-STAN, 542 00:25:30,129 --> 00:25:32,198 IT'S M-ME. 543 00:25:32,231 --> 00:25:34,233 I HAVE AN AD. 544 00:25:34,266 --> 00:25:38,270 "BOY TOY 545 00:25:38,304 --> 00:25:42,241 FOR HIRE. 546 00:25:42,274 --> 00:25:45,678 BORED WITH 547 00:25:45,712 --> 00:25:47,747 LONELY N-N-N--" 548 00:25:47,780 --> 00:25:49,749 WHAT? 549 00:25:49,782 --> 00:25:53,586 YEAH, I CAN START OVER. 550 00:25:53,620 --> 00:25:55,788 HEY, LOOK, IF IT'S EASIER, I CAN READ IT TO THE GUY. 551 00:25:59,626 --> 00:26:02,028 BLOW IT OUT YOUR BUTTHOLE. 552 00:26:02,061 --> 00:26:03,896 FAIR ENOUGH. 553 00:26:03,930 --> 00:26:06,933 LET ME DO MY JOB. 554 00:26:06,966 --> 00:26:08,935 - OKAY. - "BORED-- 555 00:26:08,968 --> 00:26:10,937 BORED WITH 556 00:26:10,970 --> 00:26:16,375 L-L-L-LONELY NIGHTS ALONE? 557 00:26:16,408 --> 00:26:18,945 TIRED OF 558 00:26:18,978 --> 00:26:23,950 - BEING A THIRD WHEEL? - WHEEL. 559 00:26:23,983 --> 00:26:28,921 JUST WANT TO HAVE 560 00:26:28,955 --> 00:26:30,923 SOME F-F-F-- 561 00:26:30,957 --> 00:26:32,925 JUST-- 562 00:26:32,959 --> 00:26:35,728 HI. YEAH. 563 00:26:35,762 --> 00:26:37,730 NO, IT SAYS, "BOY TOY FOR HIRE. 564 00:26:37,764 --> 00:26:41,067 ARE YOU BORED WITH LONELY NIGHTS ALONE? JUST WANT TO HAVE SOME FUN? 565 00:26:41,100 --> 00:26:44,070 CALL THE BOY TOY! 555-0188. 566 00:26:44,103 --> 00:26:46,405 SATISFACTION AND DISCRETION GUARANTEED." 567 00:26:46,438 --> 00:26:49,075 ALL RIGHT. B-B-BYE. 568 00:26:49,108 --> 00:26:50,643 ( chuckles ) ALL RIGHT. 569 00:26:52,879 --> 00:26:55,682 HOW MUCH DO I OWE YOU? 570 00:26:55,715 --> 00:26:57,650 $2100. 571 00:26:57,684 --> 00:27:00,820 WHOA, $2100? FOR WHAT, MAN? 572 00:27:00,853 --> 00:27:05,291 WHAT DO YOU-- WHAT DO YOU EXPECT? 573 00:27:05,324 --> 00:27:08,394 THIS-- THIS ISN'T 574 00:27:08,427 --> 00:27:10,396 "THE SAVER." 575 00:27:10,429 --> 00:27:15,434 THIS IS "THE HOLLYWOOD BEAT"-- 576 00:27:15,467 --> 00:27:17,704 OF COURSE NOT. 577 00:27:17,737 --> 00:27:19,839 - --THE NUMBER-- - ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT. 578 00:27:19,872 --> 00:27:22,842 200 RIGHT NOW. THE REST I'LL GET TO YOUR RECEPTIONIST OUT FRONT, OKAY? 579 00:27:22,875 --> 00:27:26,445 - GREAT. THANK YOU. - --ONE NEWSP-- 580 00:27:26,478 --> 00:27:29,281 - LOOK AT THAT. - --THE NUMBER ONE 581 00:27:29,315 --> 00:27:32,418 NEWS-- NEWSPAPER-- 582 00:27:32,451 --> 00:27:34,420 - ALL RIGHT. - --THE LONGEST-- 583 00:27:34,453 --> 00:27:38,324 - --RUNNING NEWSPAPER. - --RUNNING NEWSP-- 584 00:27:41,293 --> 00:27:43,730 - ( game playing on TV ) - SHOOT SHOOT. 585 00:27:43,763 --> 00:27:46,799 - OH, YOU SON OF A BITCH. - ( cell phone ringing ) 586 00:27:46,833 --> 00:27:48,367 - YOU BASTARD. - THAT WAS CLOSE, MAN. 587 00:27:48,400 --> 00:27:49,902 - Jake: IS YOUR PHONE RINGING? - YEAH. 588 00:27:49,936 --> 00:27:51,904 - LET ME GRAB THAT FOR A SEC. - NO, JAKE. 589 00:27:51,938 --> 00:27:53,139 - ONE SECOND. - JAKE, JAKE. 590 00:27:53,172 --> 00:27:55,141 LISTEN, RONNIE, I THINK I USED 591 00:27:55,174 --> 00:27:57,143 YOUR TELEPHONE NUMBER IN THE AD. 592 00:27:57,176 --> 00:28:00,012 - YOU THINK YOU DID? - HELLO, THIS IS BOY TOY. 593 00:28:00,046 --> 00:28:03,415 - OH HEY, MOUSE. - SHOOT! 594 00:28:03,449 --> 00:28:06,485 YEAH, SOME CHICK GAVE ME THE ADDRESS TO THIS YOGA PLACE. 595 00:28:06,518 --> 00:28:08,320 NO, I'M GONNA HEAD THERE NOW. 596 00:28:08,354 --> 00:28:10,322 OKAY, BYE. THERE YOU GO. 597 00:28:10,356 --> 00:28:12,324 SHE DIDN'T WANT TO TALK TO ME? 598 00:28:12,358 --> 00:28:16,863 ARE YOU BUSY RIGHT NOW? 599 00:28:16,896 --> 00:28:18,898 I'M WATCHING THE GAME. 600 00:28:18,931 --> 00:28:21,067 I'M GONNA NEED A RIDE TO YOGA IN ABOUT FIVE MINUTES. 601 00:28:21,100 --> 00:28:23,936 ALSO I'LL NEED TO BORROW A PAIR OF SHORTS, MAYBE A TOP. 602 00:28:23,970 --> 00:28:26,405 - ( buzzer sounds ) - GOAL! YES! 603 00:28:26,438 --> 00:28:29,041 OH, WHAT A GOAL! 604 00:28:29,075 --> 00:28:31,844 THIS IS THE SPOT RIGHT HERE. 605 00:28:31,878 --> 00:28:34,146 OKAY. GOOD? 606 00:28:34,180 --> 00:28:35,314 YEAH. 607 00:28:35,347 --> 00:28:37,316 - A HUG? - NO. 608 00:28:37,349 --> 00:28:39,318 OKAY, GOOD. ALL RIGHT, BE SAFE. 609 00:28:39,351 --> 00:28:40,486 CALL YOU LATER. 610 00:28:40,519 --> 00:28:42,721 OKAY. 611 00:28:45,124 --> 00:28:47,093 MAKE ME PROUD. 612 00:28:47,126 --> 00:28:49,095 DO IT FOR ME. 613 00:28:49,128 --> 00:28:51,163 - LOVE YOU, BUDDY. - LOVE YOU. 614 00:28:53,800 --> 00:28:56,202 - HELLO. - HELLO. 615 00:28:59,839 --> 00:29:01,841 WHAT'S UP? 616 00:29:21,060 --> 00:29:22,561 WHOA. 617 00:29:22,594 --> 00:29:25,297 * I WANT A HUNK, A HUNK 618 00:29:26,966 --> 00:29:29,401 * I WANT A HUNK, A HUNK * 619 00:29:31,337 --> 00:29:34,006 * I WANT A HUNK, A HUNK 620 00:29:35,908 --> 00:29:37,944 * I WANT A HUNK, A HUNK... * 621 00:29:47,053 --> 00:29:50,122 I LOVE YOGA. 622 00:29:53,926 --> 00:29:55,494 HI. NORAH. 623 00:29:55,527 --> 00:29:57,496 NICE. I'M JAKE. 624 00:29:57,529 --> 00:29:59,498 LISTEN, THIS IS MY FIRST TIME TO YOGA, 625 00:29:59,531 --> 00:30:01,934 SO I DIDN'T REALLY KNOW WHAT TO WEAR, YOU KNOW, 626 00:30:01,968 --> 00:30:03,569 IF YOU COULD TELL BY WHAT I'M WEARING. 627 00:30:03,602 --> 00:30:05,071 I CAN SEE THAT. 628 00:30:05,104 --> 00:30:08,507 LISTEN, I WAS WONDERING MAYBE YOU AND I COULD PARTNER UP OR SOMETHING 629 00:30:08,540 --> 00:30:10,509 AND YOU COULD SHOW ME A FEW MOVES. 630 00:30:10,542 --> 00:30:12,912 THANK YOU. ACTUALLY I'M GONNA SHOW YOU PLENTY OF MOVES. 631 00:30:12,945 --> 00:30:15,614 - I'M THE INSTRUCTOR. - OH, YOU'RE THE INSTRUCTOR. 632 00:30:15,647 --> 00:30:18,851 OH, THAT'S GREAT. I'VE GOT A REALLY NATURALLY ATHLETIC BODY, 633 00:30:18,885 --> 00:30:20,386 SO DON'T HOLD BACK. PUSH ME. 634 00:30:20,419 --> 00:30:21,620 OKAY, I'LL KEEP THAT IN MIND. 635 00:30:21,653 --> 00:30:24,123 WHAT ARE YOU DRINKING THERE? DON'T TELL ME. LET ME GUESS. 636 00:30:24,156 --> 00:30:27,526 IT'S A PROTEIN STRAWBERRY BLUEBERRY MOCHA-SHAKE? 637 00:30:27,559 --> 00:30:30,196 - WATER. - GOD, WATER. 638 00:30:30,229 --> 00:30:31,864 - I WAS CLOSE, WASN'T I? - CLOSE. 639 00:30:31,898 --> 00:30:34,433 LET ME GUESS, YOU'RE TRYING TO GUESS WHAT SHE LIKES TO DRINK 640 00:30:34,466 --> 00:30:37,469 SO SHE MIGHT ACTUALLY FALL FOR ONE OF YOUR LITTLE HIGH SCHOOL ONE-LINERS. 641 00:30:37,503 --> 00:30:40,039 ACTUALLY YEAH. 642 00:30:40,072 --> 00:30:42,341 OH, WELL, THAT'S TOO BAD, BECAUSE MY FRIEND NORAH HERE 643 00:30:42,374 --> 00:30:44,643 HAS A VERY STRICT PERSONAL AND PROFESSIONAL POLICY 644 00:30:44,676 --> 00:30:46,913 WHERE SHE DOES NOT DATE HER STUDENTS-- 645 00:30:46,946 --> 00:30:49,481 - BUT I-- - --EVER. 646 00:30:49,515 --> 00:30:51,483 WHICH IS SUCH A SHAME. 647 00:30:51,517 --> 00:30:53,385 BUT IT'S NOTHING PERSONAL. 648 00:30:53,419 --> 00:30:56,622 I JUST DON'T DATE MY STUDENTS. WHY DON'T YOU GO FIND A SPOT? 649 00:30:56,655 --> 00:30:58,958 I THINK YOU GUYS GOT THE WRONG IMPRESSION ABOUT ME, OKAY? 650 00:30:58,991 --> 00:31:00,960 I'M HERE FOR MY JOB AND TO WORK OUT, MAYBE-- 651 00:31:00,993 --> 00:31:03,395 JAKE, I'M SO GLAD THAT YOU CAME. 652 00:31:03,429 --> 00:31:05,998 - ISN'T THIS THE CUTEST YOGA STUDIO EVER? - YEAH. 653 00:31:06,032 --> 00:31:08,968 AND YOU MET MY FRIEND NORAH. NORAH'S THE BEST. 654 00:31:09,001 --> 00:31:10,903 - I DID. SHE'S GREAT. - THANKS, JEANIE. 655 00:31:10,937 --> 00:31:12,571 - HI KYLIE. - BYE JEANIE. 656 00:31:12,604 --> 00:31:14,206 THERE'S ROOM NEXT TO ME IN THE BACK. 657 00:31:14,240 --> 00:31:15,507 - I-- NO-- - YEAH, COME ON. 658 00:31:15,541 --> 00:31:17,076 THANKS FOR BRINGING YOUR GIRLFRIEND. 659 00:31:18,945 --> 00:31:22,214 REMEMBER, A NATURALLY ATHLETIC BODY. PUSH ME. 660 00:31:22,248 --> 00:31:24,216 - WHAT A LOSER. - GO TO YOUR MAT. 661 00:31:24,250 --> 00:31:26,118 ALL RIGHT, GUYS, WELCOME. 662 00:31:26,152 --> 00:31:28,020 LET'S JUST STAND HERE FOR A SECOND 663 00:31:28,054 --> 00:31:30,422 BREATHING IN, LETTING GO OF OUR WHOLE DAY, 664 00:31:30,456 --> 00:31:33,960 PUTTING IT OUT THE DOOR, FOCUSING ON THE PRESENT MOMENT, 665 00:31:33,993 --> 00:31:36,695 INHALING, 666 00:31:36,728 --> 00:31:40,132 EXHALING THROUGH OUR NOSE. GREAT. WONDERFUL. 667 00:31:40,166 --> 00:31:41,700 THESE LOOK BEAUTIFUL, YOU GUYS-- 668 00:31:41,733 --> 00:31:43,669 BEAUTIFUL. 669 00:31:43,702 --> 00:31:46,405 OKAY, LET'S INHALE. 670 00:31:46,438 --> 00:31:49,976 ON THE EXHALE, LET'S BEND THAT FRONT LEG A LITTLE BIT DEEPER. 671 00:31:50,009 --> 00:31:51,944 WONDERFUL. LET'S STAY THERE, 672 00:31:51,978 --> 00:31:56,082 INHALING, EXHALING, RELAXING OUR SHOULDERS. 673 00:31:56,115 --> 00:31:59,151 THAT FRONT KNEE IS BENT. GREAT. WONDERFUL. 674 00:31:59,185 --> 00:32:02,221 THESE LOOK BEAUTIFUL, YOU GUYS-- BEAUTIFUL. 675 00:32:02,254 --> 00:32:04,490 OKAY, LET'S INHALE. 676 00:32:04,523 --> 00:32:07,393 ON THE EXHALE, LET'S BEND THAT FRONT LEG. 677 00:32:07,426 --> 00:32:09,228 GREAT. GOOD JOB, JAKE. UH-HUH. 678 00:32:09,261 --> 00:32:13,032 OKAY, LET'S KEEP OUR FRONT LEG BENT, BACK LEG STRAIGHT. 679 00:32:13,065 --> 00:32:17,136 - HIPS ARE GONNA BE FACING THE FRONT OF THE ROOM. - ( Robert farts ) 680 00:32:17,169 --> 00:32:19,972 GREAT JOB, YOU GUYS. 681 00:32:20,006 --> 00:32:21,507 EVERYONE DID FANTASTIC. 682 00:32:21,540 --> 00:32:23,475 YEAH. 683 00:32:23,509 --> 00:32:25,011 SEE YOU NEXT WEEK. 684 00:32:25,044 --> 00:32:27,179 OH, WASN'T THAT SO RELAXING? 685 00:32:27,213 --> 00:32:29,648 RELAXING IS NOT REALLY A WORD I'D USE 686 00:32:29,681 --> 00:32:31,650 - TO DESCRIBE WHAT WE JUST DID. - OH, SORRY. 687 00:32:31,683 --> 00:32:36,088 I WAS THINKING ABOUT GOING TO THE PARK AND TAKING A RUN. YOU WANT TO COME? 688 00:32:36,122 --> 00:32:38,490 - THAT'S ACTUALLY A GREAT IDEA. - YEAH? 689 00:32:38,524 --> 00:32:41,227 YEAH, BUT I'M GONNA STAY HERE FOR A WHILE. BUT I'LL MEET YOU UP LATER ON. 690 00:32:41,260 --> 00:32:43,595 YEAH? PINKIE PROMISE? 691 00:32:43,629 --> 00:32:45,431 - OKAY, GREAT. - OKAY. 692 00:32:45,464 --> 00:32:46,999 - I'LL SEE YOU LATER ON. - SURE. 693 00:32:50,736 --> 00:32:52,104 ( sighs ) 694 00:32:52,138 --> 00:32:55,374 GOOD JOB, ROBERT. YOU'RE A NATURAL. 695 00:32:55,407 --> 00:32:56,708 REALLY? 696 00:32:56,742 --> 00:32:58,777 - SEE YOU NEXT CLASS? - YEAH, FOR SURE, YEAH. 697 00:32:58,810 --> 00:33:02,048 - OKAY. BYE, GUYS. - ( cell phone ringing ) 698 00:33:07,719 --> 00:33:09,088 BOY TOY. 699 00:33:09,121 --> 00:33:10,356 ( gasps ) 700 00:33:14,593 --> 00:33:16,628 ( buzzing ) 701 00:33:29,175 --> 00:33:30,809 IS THAT MY BEARD TRIMMER? 702 00:33:30,842 --> 00:33:33,445 YEAH YEAH, MAN. 703 00:33:33,479 --> 00:33:35,514 I'VE GOT TO FREE THE COBRA FROM THE JUNGLE, YOU KNOW? 704 00:33:35,547 --> 00:33:38,050 ( buzzing continues ) 705 00:33:38,084 --> 00:33:40,486 YOU MIND? 706 00:33:40,519 --> 00:33:42,288 COME ON. 707 00:33:47,126 --> 00:33:49,128 THANKS, BUDDY. 708 00:34:01,373 --> 00:34:03,809 QUESTION IS, WHO'S THE FIRST LUCKY LADY 709 00:34:03,842 --> 00:34:06,678 TO JUMP ON THE JAKE TRAIN? 710 00:34:06,712 --> 00:34:08,514 BITCH IS HOT. 711 00:34:08,547 --> 00:34:12,851 YEAH, SHE'S GOT A HANDFUL. 712 00:34:12,884 --> 00:34:16,122 ( quiet music playing ) 713 00:34:17,589 --> 00:34:20,092 I LIKE THIS PLACE. 714 00:34:20,126 --> 00:34:21,860 A GREAT PLACE. 715 00:34:21,893 --> 00:34:25,531 CHEERS TO US. 716 00:34:26,898 --> 00:34:29,468 SO, SANDRA DEAN, 717 00:34:29,501 --> 00:34:32,238 TELL ME ABOUT YOURSELF. WHERE ARE YOU FROM? 718 00:34:32,271 --> 00:34:36,842 WELL, I'M A SOUTHERN GAL, PUMPKIN. 719 00:34:36,875 --> 00:34:39,545 I'VE HAD FIVE LOVING HUSBANDS. 720 00:34:39,578 --> 00:34:41,180 - FIVE? - BUT THEY ALL KEELED OVER 721 00:34:41,213 --> 00:34:44,216 BEFORE OUR FIVE-YEAR ANNIVERSARY. 722 00:34:44,250 --> 00:34:46,685 WELL, I GUESS I JUST BURN THEM OUT. 723 00:34:46,718 --> 00:34:48,554 OOH OOH. 724 00:34:48,587 --> 00:34:51,657 THEY CAN'T HANDLE TOO MUCH SANDRA DEAN! 725 00:34:51,690 --> 00:34:53,425 ( upbeat song playing ) 726 00:34:53,459 --> 00:34:55,694 OH, I LOVE THIS SONG. 727 00:34:55,727 --> 00:34:58,530 ( snapping fingers ) 728 00:35:07,239 --> 00:35:09,475 HI JAKE. REMEMBER ME? 729 00:35:09,508 --> 00:35:12,644 BECCA. BECCA. 730 00:35:12,678 --> 00:35:14,680 OF COURSE I REMEMBER YOU. HOW COULD I FORGET YOU, 731 00:35:14,713 --> 00:35:16,682 BECCA? 732 00:35:20,286 --> 00:35:23,589 ALL RIGHT. 733 00:35:23,622 --> 00:35:27,926 THAT'S MY-- MY AUNT SANDRA, MY FATHER'S SISTER. 734 00:35:27,959 --> 00:35:31,563 SO WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN? I HAVEN'T HEARD FROM YOU AFTER THAT NIGHT. 735 00:35:31,597 --> 00:35:34,266 OH, I WAS-- I'VE BEEN, YOU KNOW, 736 00:35:34,300 --> 00:35:36,902 IN THE WITNESS PROTECTION PROGRAM. 737 00:35:36,935 --> 00:35:39,771 - OH. - GERARD, COME ON. 738 00:35:39,805 --> 00:35:43,209 - GERARD? - UM, THAT'S MY COVER NAME. 739 00:35:43,242 --> 00:35:45,377 OH, ALL RIGHT. 740 00:35:45,411 --> 00:35:47,279 - YOU SHOULD CALL ME... - I WILL. 741 00:35:47,313 --> 00:35:49,548 - ...WHEN YOU'RE DONE WITH THIS WITNESS PROTECTION THING. - YEAH. 742 00:35:49,581 --> 00:35:51,683 I'VE REALLY MISSED YOU. 743 00:35:51,717 --> 00:35:53,685 - SAME NUMBER? - UH-HUH. 744 00:35:53,719 --> 00:35:55,721 - ALL RIGHT, GREAT. - BYE. 745 00:35:58,990 --> 00:36:01,627 OH MY SWEET HEAVEN, THAT'S YOUR DATE? 746 00:36:01,660 --> 00:36:04,630 OH MY GOD, SHE'S SMOKING HOT. 747 00:36:06,898 --> 00:36:08,500 I'LL GO OUT WITH HER FOR MONEY. 748 00:36:08,534 --> 00:36:11,503 NO NO, THAT'S NOT MY DATE. MY DATE'S RIGHT BEHIND YOU. 749 00:36:11,537 --> 00:36:13,405 REALLY? 750 00:36:13,439 --> 00:36:15,307 WHO'S THIS? 751 00:36:15,341 --> 00:36:17,509 THIS GENTLEMAN IS A FRIEND OF MINE NAMED RONNIE. 752 00:36:17,543 --> 00:36:19,211 - HI HI. - YEAH, SAY HI. 753 00:36:19,245 --> 00:36:21,313 NICE TO MEET YOU. YOU'RE GERARD'S--? 754 00:36:21,347 --> 00:36:24,316 - I LIKE. - OH, SHE'S-- 755 00:36:24,350 --> 00:36:26,318 HOW MUCH MORE FOR A THREESOME? 756 00:36:26,352 --> 00:36:29,321 - FOR A THREESOME? - WE-- I DON'T THINK-- 757 00:36:29,355 --> 00:36:32,391 WOW, I DON'T KNOW. HOW MUCH IS A THREESOME? 758 00:36:32,424 --> 00:36:34,993 ( giggling ) 759 00:36:35,026 --> 00:36:39,931 * SO BE MY BABY GIGOLO 760 00:36:39,965 --> 00:36:42,768 * AND GO WHEREVER I WILL GO... * 761 00:36:42,801 --> 00:36:44,770 HA HA! MM! 762 00:36:44,803 --> 00:36:47,439 TAKE THIS OFF. 763 00:36:50,342 --> 00:36:52,311 * IT WON'T TAKE 764 00:36:52,344 --> 00:36:54,780 * ANY TIME AT ALL... 765 00:36:54,813 --> 00:36:57,716 WAIT WAIT WAIT. WHOA, ONE SEC, ONE SEC. 766 00:36:57,749 --> 00:37:01,353 SORRY, SANDRA, I DON'T-- I DON'T DO IT. 767 00:37:01,387 --> 00:37:03,722 YOU DON'T DO WHAT? 768 00:37:03,755 --> 00:37:06,592 I DON'T DO IT. I DON'T GO ALL THE WAY. 769 00:37:06,625 --> 00:37:08,594 I'M SORRY. IT'S NOTHING PERSONAL. 770 00:37:08,627 --> 00:37:10,996 IT'S MORE OF A PROFESSIONAL THING I HAVE, YOU KNOW? 771 00:37:11,029 --> 00:37:14,300 WELL, HOW ABOUT A DRY HUMP? 772 00:37:14,333 --> 00:37:15,601 WHAT? 773 00:37:15,634 --> 00:37:17,603 - YOU JUST SIT THERE. - NO, I KNOW WHAT IT IS. 774 00:37:17,636 --> 00:37:20,339 I'LL DO ALL THE WORK. 775 00:37:20,372 --> 00:37:22,741 ( Sandra moaning ) 776 00:37:22,774 --> 00:37:24,810 ( laughing ) 777 00:37:28,814 --> 00:37:31,550 * I HAD A FEELING IT WAS LOVELY * 778 00:37:31,583 --> 00:37:34,320 * AFTER I SAW YOUR PHOTOGRAPH * 779 00:37:34,353 --> 00:37:37,756 * YOU LOOK SO GOOD IN BLACK AND WHITE... * 780 00:37:37,789 --> 00:37:39,758 ( screams ) 781 00:37:39,791 --> 00:37:41,760 * YOU KNOW THAT FEELING 782 00:37:41,793 --> 00:37:44,430 * WHEN YOU SEE SOMETHING YOU REALLY GOTTA HAVE * 783 00:37:44,463 --> 00:37:47,399 * EVEN IF ONLY FOR A NIGHT? * 784 00:37:51,803 --> 00:37:56,375 * SO BE MY BABY GIGOLO... 785 00:37:56,408 --> 00:37:59,478 HEY, NORAH, I'VE GOT A BIT OF A PROBLEM. 786 00:37:59,511 --> 00:38:02,080 YOU SEE, THERE'S THIS REALLY GREAT BAND PLAYING THIS FRIDAY 787 00:38:02,113 --> 00:38:04,816 - AT A FRIEND OF MINE'S BAR. - WHAT'S THE PROBLEM? 788 00:38:04,850 --> 00:38:08,086 I HAVEN'T FIGURED OUT A WAY TO GET YOU TO COME WITH ME YET. 789 00:38:08,119 --> 00:38:12,424 LOOK, JAKE, I DON'T REALLY DATE MY STUDENTS. 790 00:38:12,458 --> 00:38:15,093 OKAY OKAY, THAT'S FINE. 791 00:38:15,126 --> 00:38:17,596 WELL, WE CAN GO AND CALL IT A STUDENT-TEACHER CONFERENCE, 792 00:38:17,629 --> 00:38:20,499 YOU KNOW? IT'LL BE FUN. 793 00:38:20,532 --> 00:38:22,501 I DON'T KNOW HOW TO SAY THIS POLITELY, 794 00:38:22,534 --> 00:38:24,770 BUT I REALLY DON'T DATE GUYS IN YOUR LINE OF WORK. 795 00:38:24,803 --> 00:38:26,838 MY LINE OF WORK? 796 00:38:26,872 --> 00:38:30,075 YEAH, LET ME GUESS, YOU ARE A HOLLYWOOD SOMETHING. 797 00:38:30,108 --> 00:38:32,544 HOLLYWOOD SOME--? NO, I'M MORE OF 798 00:38:32,578 --> 00:38:35,747 AN ENTERTAINMENT ENTREPRENEUR, YOU KNOW? 799 00:38:35,781 --> 00:38:38,384 COME ON, WE'LL GO OUT JUST FOR A FEW DRINKS. 800 00:38:38,417 --> 00:38:39,485 IT'LL BE GREAT. 801 00:38:39,518 --> 00:38:41,487 WHAT DO YOU SAY? 802 00:38:41,520 --> 00:38:43,489 COME ON. 803 00:38:43,522 --> 00:38:47,426 OKAY, FINE FINE FINE, AS A STUDENT-TEACHER, OKAY? 804 00:38:47,459 --> 00:38:48,827 - A STUDENT-TEACHER? - YES. 805 00:38:48,860 --> 00:38:50,829 SO HER NAME IS MARY 806 00:38:50,862 --> 00:38:52,831 AND YOU'RE PICKING HER UP AT HER PLACE. 807 00:38:52,864 --> 00:38:55,434 AND SHE'S GOT THE DATE ALL PLANNED. 808 00:38:55,467 --> 00:38:58,136 OKAY, PLEASE TELL ME SHE'S AN UPGRADE FROM MY LAST CLIENT. 809 00:38:58,169 --> 00:39:00,739 OH, FOR SURE. SHE'S SO MUCH MORE MATURE. 810 00:39:00,772 --> 00:39:04,142 MATURE? REALLY? I CAN DEAL WITH THAT. 811 00:39:04,175 --> 00:39:05,677 READ 'EM AND WEEP, SUCKERS. 812 00:39:05,711 --> 00:39:08,380 OH, DID WE WIN? I DON'T UNDERSTAND THIS GAME. 813 00:39:08,414 --> 00:39:10,382 DAMN RIGHT. I'VE BEEN TAKING MONEY 814 00:39:10,416 --> 00:39:12,884 FROM DIERDRA SINCE THE EISENHOWER ADMINISTRATION. 815 00:39:12,918 --> 00:39:15,153 - SHE CHEATED. - I HEARD YOU. 816 00:39:15,186 --> 00:39:17,989 - GOOD. - YOU WANT A PIECE OF THIS? 817 00:39:18,023 --> 00:39:20,526 OKAY, WHOA WHOA WHOA. IT'S NOT WORTH IT, 818 00:39:20,559 --> 00:39:22,661 OKAY, MARY? SHE'S NOT EVEN IN YOUR CLASS. 819 00:39:22,694 --> 00:39:24,963 DID YOU CALL MY DIERDRA AN ASS? 820 00:39:24,996 --> 00:39:26,998 WHAT? 821 00:39:27,032 --> 00:39:29,401 NO NO NO, FRED. NO, FRED. 822 00:39:29,435 --> 00:39:31,169 RELAX, BUDDY. I DIDN'T CALL HER AN ASS, ALL RIGHT? 823 00:39:31,202 --> 00:39:34,440 YOU DON'T WANT TO BUST YOUR HIP OR BUST A LUNG. FRED, FRED. 824 00:39:34,473 --> 00:39:36,442 TONGUE? YOU CAN SLIP HER SOME TONGUE? 825 00:39:36,475 --> 00:39:38,176 LISTEN, BOY, YOU STAY OFF MY WOMAN. 826 00:39:38,209 --> 00:39:40,879 WHAT? LOOK, I WASN'T TALKING TO YOUR WIFE, FRED. 827 00:39:40,912 --> 00:39:42,781 - FREDDY, I THINK I WET MYSELF. - I WAS TALKING TO MARY. 828 00:39:42,814 --> 00:39:45,016 OH GOD. JESUS, FRED. 829 00:39:45,050 --> 00:39:47,419 HOW DO YOU LIKE ME NOW, PERVERT? 830 00:39:47,453 --> 00:39:49,488 - DAMN IT. JEEZ. - KICK HIS WRINKLED ASS, GERALD. 831 00:39:49,521 --> 00:39:52,758 - WHAT DID YOU DO THAT FOR? - BRING IT ON, SONNY. 832 00:39:52,791 --> 00:39:54,793 - I'M NOT GONNA FIGHT YOU. I'M NOT GONNA HIT YOU. - COME ON. 833 00:39:54,826 --> 00:39:56,962 - I THINK I WET MYSELF, FREDDY. - YOU'RE JUST JEALOUS 834 00:39:56,995 --> 00:39:59,831 - BECAUSE FRED CAN'T GET HIS DING-A-LING UP ANYMORE. - I'M NOT GONNA FIGHT YOU. 835 00:39:59,865 --> 00:40:02,434 - Jake: THANK YOU FOR EVERYTHING. - ARGH! 836 00:40:02,468 --> 00:40:04,436 NOW YOU THREW YOUR BACK OUT. I HOPE YOU'RE HAPPY. 837 00:40:04,470 --> 00:40:06,438 - ( Fred moaning ) - SEE YOU LATER, SUCKERS. 838 00:40:06,472 --> 00:40:08,440 LET'S GET YOUR STUFF HERE. 839 00:40:08,474 --> 00:40:10,709 OKAY, LET'S GO. CALM DOWN. 840 00:40:12,611 --> 00:40:15,013 Jake: THESE WOMEN REFLECT POORLY 841 00:40:15,046 --> 00:40:16,748 ON ME AS A PROFESSIONAL, MOUSE. 842 00:40:16,782 --> 00:40:18,216 WE NEED TO STEP UP OUR GAME. 843 00:40:18,249 --> 00:40:20,218 I DON'T UNDERSTAND WHY YOU'RE COMPLAINING. 844 00:40:20,251 --> 00:40:22,554 YOU JUST MADE $2000 THIS WEEK. 845 00:40:22,588 --> 00:40:25,123 THAT'S MORE MONEY THAN YOU MADE IN THE LAST YEAR. 846 00:40:25,156 --> 00:40:27,125 - YOU MADE $2000 THIS WEEK? - YEAH. 847 00:40:27,158 --> 00:40:29,761 - DO I GET TO SEE ANY OF THAT? - NO, NOT RIGHT NOW. 848 00:40:29,795 --> 00:40:33,064 DO YOU KNOW WHY? BECAUSE I WAS THE ONE THAT GOT DRY-HUMPED BY THE WHALEOPOLUS. 849 00:40:33,098 --> 00:40:35,534 I WAS THE ONE WHO HAD TO MAKE OUT WITH A SENIOR CITIZEN 850 00:40:35,567 --> 00:40:37,469 ON THE SIDEWALK IN BROAD DAYLIGHT, NOT YOU TWO. 851 00:40:37,503 --> 00:40:39,471 OKAY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU WANT FROM ME. 852 00:40:39,505 --> 00:40:42,841 NO ONE SAID THIS JOB WOULD BE FUN. RONNIE, DID YOU SAY THIS JOB WOULD BE FUN? 853 00:40:42,874 --> 00:40:44,610 I DID NOT SAY THIS JOB WOULD BE FUN. 854 00:40:44,643 --> 00:40:46,612 IT'S NOT ABOUT FUN, YOU IDIOTS. 855 00:40:46,645 --> 00:40:48,980 IT'S ABOUT PROFESSIONALISM, OKAY? WE NEED TO UPGRADE 856 00:40:49,014 --> 00:40:51,850 IF WE'RE GONNA ATTRACT NEW CLIENTS. DON'T YOU GET THIS? 857 00:40:51,883 --> 00:40:53,819 I'M ALSO GOING TO NEED A NEW CAR. 858 00:40:53,852 --> 00:40:56,522 HOW CAN YOU HAVE A NEW CAR IF YOU DON'T HAVE A CAR TO BEGIN WITH? 859 00:40:56,555 --> 00:40:58,256 - YEAH. - HAVE YOU FORGOTTEN ABOUT MY CAR-- 860 00:40:58,289 --> 00:41:00,926 MY LIFE'S SAVINGS FOR MY SMART CAR? 861 00:41:00,959 --> 00:41:03,629 LISTEN TO ME, OKAY? 862 00:41:03,662 --> 00:41:05,631 THERE'S OVER $2000 HERE. 863 00:41:05,664 --> 00:41:08,066 BUT WE NEED TO REINVEST IT BACK INTO THE COMPANY. 864 00:41:08,099 --> 00:41:10,736 DO YOU GET THAT? SO, MOUSE, TAKE THIS, 865 00:41:10,769 --> 00:41:13,104 GO GET ME A CAR-- A SWEET CAR, A REALLY SWEET CAR. 866 00:41:13,138 --> 00:41:14,740 I CAN'T DRIVE THAT BEATER ANYMORE. 867 00:41:14,773 --> 00:41:16,875 FINE. 868 00:41:16,908 --> 00:41:20,546 ALSO I GET FINAL APPROVAL ON ALL THE DATES. 869 00:41:20,579 --> 00:41:23,515 DO YOU UNDERSTAND? I ONLY WANT HOT COUGARS FROM NOW ON. 870 00:41:23,549 --> 00:41:25,651 NO MORE B-TEAM NONSENSE, OKAY? 871 00:41:25,684 --> 00:41:29,054 THEY HAVE TO BE HOT-- HOT WOMEN, HOT COUGARS, HOT PEOPLE. 872 00:41:29,087 --> 00:41:30,288 - OKAY. - DID YOU GET IT? 873 00:41:30,321 --> 00:41:32,558 - I GOT IT. - GOOD. 874 00:41:34,192 --> 00:41:37,195 ONE MORE THING-- I'M GOING ON A DATE WITH NORAH THIS EVENING. 875 00:41:37,228 --> 00:41:39,598 I'M TAKING HER TO THE HORNTOAD. 876 00:41:39,631 --> 00:41:41,600 I PROBABLY WON'T BE PAYING FOR ANYTHING, 877 00:41:41,633 --> 00:41:44,035 NOR WILL I LEAVE A TIP, JUST SO YOU KNOW. 878 00:41:45,771 --> 00:41:47,873 WHEN DO YOU EVER PAY FOR ANYTHING? 879 00:41:49,207 --> 00:41:52,143 THAT'S MY ROOM, DICKHEAD. 880 00:41:52,177 --> 00:41:54,145 - Norah: THANK YOU. - Ronnie: YEAH, NO PROBLEM. 881 00:41:54,179 --> 00:41:56,147 - ( bottles jingle ) - OH. 882 00:41:56,181 --> 00:41:57,816 IS THAT YOUR BUDDY? 883 00:41:57,849 --> 00:41:59,751 YEAH YEAH, THAT'S MY BEST FRIEND RONNIE. 884 00:41:59,785 --> 00:42:01,987 WE MOVED OUT HERE TOGETHER WHEN WE GRADUATED COLLEGE. 885 00:42:02,020 --> 00:42:03,789 - YOU WENT TO COLLEGE? - I DID. 886 00:42:03,822 --> 00:42:06,792 YES, I GRADUATED WITH A B.A. IN WOMEN'S STUDIES. 887 00:42:06,825 --> 00:42:09,828 - YOU'RE JOKING. - IF YOU CAN'T GET IN TOUCH WITH YOUR OWN FEMININE SIDE, 888 00:42:09,861 --> 00:42:13,298 HOW ARE YOU SUPPOSED TO BE ABLE TO TOUCH SOMEBODY ELSE'S FEMININE SIDE? 889 00:42:13,331 --> 00:42:15,300 ( laughs ) 890 00:42:15,333 --> 00:42:17,703 SO WHAT ABOUT THIS NEW JOB? 891 00:42:19,805 --> 00:42:22,741 IT'S SORT OF COMPLICATED. SEE, A FRIEND OF MINE-- 892 00:42:22,774 --> 00:42:24,743 MOUSE-- SHE'S IN P.R. 893 00:42:24,776 --> 00:42:27,613 AND SHE SORT OF HIRED ME ON 894 00:42:27,646 --> 00:42:30,015 AS A-- AS AN EVENT PLANNER-- 895 00:42:30,048 --> 00:42:33,184 HOSTING PARTIES FOR RICH FOLK, THAT KIND OF THING. 896 00:42:33,218 --> 00:42:35,186 - THAT'S COOL. - YEAH YEAH. 897 00:42:35,220 --> 00:42:38,189 IT'S BASICALLY JUST HIGH-CLASS PARTIES FOR RICH PEOPLE. 898 00:42:38,223 --> 00:42:40,191 I'M LIKE AN M.C. BASICALLY. 899 00:42:40,225 --> 00:42:42,828 I JUST SORT OF TAKE CARE OF DIFFERENT PEOPLE'S NEEDS, 900 00:42:42,861 --> 00:42:45,130 DEPENDING ON THE PARTY. 901 00:42:46,131 --> 00:42:47,298 THAT'S INTERESTING. 902 00:42:47,332 --> 00:42:49,300 SO A PRETTY SOUTHERN GIRL LIKE YOURSELF 903 00:42:49,334 --> 00:42:52,070 LIVING IN LOS ANGELES IS SINGLE. HOW IS THIS POSSIBLE? 904 00:42:52,103 --> 00:42:56,207 I DECIDED A WHILE AGO I WASN'T GONNA DATE MODELS 905 00:42:56,241 --> 00:42:59,377 OR WANNABE PRODUCERS OR ACTORS. 906 00:42:59,410 --> 00:43:02,981 SO THAT PRETTY MUCH RULES OUT EVERYBODY IN L.A. 907 00:43:03,014 --> 00:43:05,250 YEAH, AND THE ONLY ONES THAT ARE LEFT ARE THESE MACHO, 908 00:43:05,283 --> 00:43:08,386 LOOK-HOW-EXPENSIVE-MY-WATCH-IS TYPES, YEAH. 909 00:43:08,419 --> 00:43:10,722 - BALLERS. - BALLERS. 910 00:43:10,756 --> 00:43:14,359 AND WITH THOSE GUYS-- THEIR EGO IS ALWAYS BIGGER THAN THEIR MANHOOD. 911 00:43:14,392 --> 00:43:17,328 - OH. - AND IT'S A LITTLE DISAPPOINTING. 912 00:43:17,362 --> 00:43:20,866 WOW, FORTUNATELY FOR ME, I POSSESS NONE OF THOSE TRAITS. 913 00:43:20,899 --> 00:43:23,935 I AM NOT MACHO. I DON'T EVEN OWN A WATCH. 914 00:43:23,969 --> 00:43:28,406 HOWEVER, I AM RATHER WELL ENDOWED. 915 00:43:28,439 --> 00:43:31,409 REALLY? WOW. 916 00:43:31,442 --> 00:43:34,079 - REALLY? - NO, I'M NOT. 917 00:43:34,112 --> 00:43:35,781 - ( applause ) - WE SHOULD HEAD OVER THERE THOUGH. 918 00:43:35,814 --> 00:43:37,683 YES, SHOULD WE? YEAH, OKAY. 919 00:43:40,451 --> 00:43:44,756 * I AM STANDING IN MY BARE FEET * 920 00:43:44,790 --> 00:43:48,059 * WATCHING YOU 921 00:43:48,093 --> 00:43:50,729 * DRIVE AWAY 922 00:43:52,764 --> 00:43:56,067 * LAST NIGHT KEEPS RUNNING THROUGH MY HEAD... * 923 00:43:56,101 --> 00:43:59,137 WHY ARE MEN SO OBSESSED WITH THEIR PENIS SIZES? 924 00:43:59,170 --> 00:44:03,374 I THINK IT WAS YOU WHO BROUGHT UP MEN'S PENIS SIZES ACTUALLY. 925 00:44:03,408 --> 00:44:05,376 I THINK THAT YOU'RE RIGHT. 926 00:44:05,410 --> 00:44:08,379 * IT'S BEEN SO LONG... 927 00:44:08,413 --> 00:44:10,916 THIS IS A REALLY GOOD BAND. I HOPE YOU LIKE THEM. 928 00:44:10,949 --> 00:44:13,852 WHAT? YOU'RE GLAD I LIKE YOU? 929 00:44:13,885 --> 00:44:15,854 WHAT? 930 00:44:15,887 --> 00:44:17,756 YES. 931 00:44:17,789 --> 00:44:20,358 - I MEANT THE BAND. - OH, THE BAND? 932 00:44:20,391 --> 00:44:23,695 - YEAH, I THOUGHT YOU SAID-- - YEAH, I LOVE THE BAND. 933 00:44:23,729 --> 00:44:25,697 DO YOU LIKE ME? 934 00:44:25,731 --> 00:44:27,232 OH MY GOD, YEAH. THEY'RE GREAT. 935 00:44:27,265 --> 00:44:30,769 * THIS ADDICTION 936 00:44:30,802 --> 00:44:32,738 * IF I SEE YOU AGAIN 937 00:44:32,771 --> 00:44:35,774 * I DON'T KNOW WHAT I'D DO * 938 00:44:35,807 --> 00:44:38,744 * THE FEELING STILL REMAINS * 939 00:44:38,777 --> 00:44:40,712 * I THINK I'VE GOT 940 00:44:40,746 --> 00:44:43,749 * A HANGOVER FROM YOU 941 00:44:48,987 --> 00:44:54,025 * LAST NIGHT I LOOKED INTO YOUR EYES * 942 00:44:54,059 --> 00:44:58,496 * AND SAW A FIRE BURNING BRIGHT... * 943 00:44:58,529 --> 00:45:00,832 HOLY SHIT. CHECK IT OUT. 944 00:45:00,866 --> 00:45:03,935 THAT'S THE P.R. LADY FROM THAT CASTING I BOMBED, REMEMBER? 945 00:45:03,969 --> 00:45:06,504 SHE'S JUST A SEARING-HOT LITTLE MILF. 946 00:45:06,537 --> 00:45:09,841 OH, I TOTALLY KNOW HER. THAT'S BARBRA SKYPES. 947 00:45:09,875 --> 00:45:12,377 SHE OWNS ONE OF THE BIGGEST P.R. FIRMS HERE IN L.A.-- 948 00:45:12,410 --> 00:45:16,815 TOTALLY LOADED AND SUPER SINGLE. 949 00:45:16,848 --> 00:45:18,516 SHE'D BE A GREAT CLIENT. 950 00:45:18,549 --> 00:45:20,952 ALL RIGHT, I'LL SEE YOU TWO LOSERS LATER. 951 00:45:20,986 --> 00:45:24,022 - HAVE FUN AT SCHOOL, SWEETIE. - THANKS, BABY. 952 00:45:26,391 --> 00:45:29,194 - WHAT ARE YOU DOING SITTING HERE? GO SIGN HER UP. - OH, RIGHT. 953 00:45:29,227 --> 00:45:30,762 - GET PAID. - I'M ON IT. 954 00:45:30,796 --> 00:45:32,998 MAKE MONEY. DADDY NEEDS A NEW CAR. 955 00:45:33,999 --> 00:45:36,401 - GREAT. - MISS SKYPES. 956 00:45:36,434 --> 00:45:40,138 - MAY I HELP YOU? - HI. I'M MINDY LEE. 957 00:45:40,171 --> 00:45:44,175 HEY. I USED TO WORK FOR MR. CAHILL 958 00:45:44,209 --> 00:45:46,912 AND I'M ALSO ACQUAINTANCES WITH YOUR FRIEND CLIVE. 959 00:45:46,945 --> 00:45:48,546 - CLIVE? - YEAH. 960 00:45:48,579 --> 00:45:50,949 OH, BUT DON'T WORRY. EVERYTHING I KNOW AND DO 961 00:45:50,982 --> 00:45:52,951 IS ALWAYS IN COMPLETE CONFIDENCE. 962 00:45:52,984 --> 00:45:55,453 AND HOW CAN I HELP YOU THEN, MINDY? 963 00:45:55,486 --> 00:45:57,889 OH, PLEASE CALL ME MOUSE. 964 00:45:57,923 --> 00:46:02,027 MOUSE-- THAT NAME DOES RING A BELL ACTUALLY. 965 00:46:02,060 --> 00:46:04,429 AND YOU SAID YOU USED TO WORK FOR MR. CAHILL? 966 00:46:04,462 --> 00:46:07,365 - I DID. - AH, I KNOW EXACTLY WHO YOU ARE. 967 00:46:07,398 --> 00:46:10,902 YOU'RE THE ONE WHO SLEPT WITH CAHILL AND GOT HIS CHAUVINISTIC ASS FIRED. 968 00:46:10,936 --> 00:46:13,204 - THAT'S ME. - OH, THANK YOU. 969 00:46:13,238 --> 00:46:15,073 I TELL YOU, I ALWAYS THOUGHT HE WAS A JERK. 970 00:46:15,106 --> 00:46:18,877 BUT SINCE YOU GOT HIM FIRED, MY BUSINESS HAS GONE UP 20%. 971 00:46:18,910 --> 00:46:21,112 YEAH, WELL, HE WASN'T MUCH OF A GOOD LAY EITHER. 972 00:46:21,146 --> 00:46:23,114 OH GEE, WHY AM I NOT SURPRISED AT THAT? 973 00:46:23,148 --> 00:46:27,452 SO, MINDY-- MOUSE, WHAT CAN I DO TO HELP YOU? 974 00:46:27,485 --> 00:46:29,454 I WAS THINKING 975 00:46:29,487 --> 00:46:31,823 THAT SINCE, YOU KNOW, I HELPED YOU WITH YOUR BUSINESS, 976 00:46:31,857 --> 00:46:33,424 YOU CAN HELP ME WITH MINE. 977 00:46:33,458 --> 00:46:35,994 I HAVE A REALLY INTERESTING PROPOSAL FOR YOU. 978 00:46:36,027 --> 00:46:38,897 WELL, I'M ALWAYS OPEN TO INTERESTING PROPOSALS, 979 00:46:38,930 --> 00:46:41,199 ESPECIALLY FROM ENTERPRISING YOUNG WOMEN LIKE YOURSELF, 980 00:46:41,232 --> 00:46:43,902 SO GO RIGHT AHEAD. 981 00:46:45,904 --> 00:46:49,174 WELL, DO YOU REMEMBER THAT UNDERWEAR CAMPAIGN YOU WORKED ON? 982 00:46:49,207 --> 00:46:51,877 THERE WAS A MODEL NAMED GERARD. 983 00:46:51,910 --> 00:46:55,346 GERARD? 984 00:46:55,380 --> 00:46:59,584 SO, MOUSETRAP, I'VE GOT A QUESTION FOR YOU. 985 00:47:01,386 --> 00:47:03,521 HOW DID YOU MANAGE TO LAND BARBRA? 986 00:47:03,554 --> 00:47:07,558 WHAT CAN I SAY? I'M A SALESWOMAN. 987 00:47:07,592 --> 00:47:09,627 DON'T SCREW THIS UP, JAKE. 988 00:47:09,660 --> 00:47:11,963 I MEAN, BARBRA IS HUGE. 989 00:47:11,997 --> 00:47:14,265 SHE COULD BE A REALLY BIG CLIENT FOR US. 990 00:47:14,299 --> 00:47:16,434 YOU KNOW, IF SHE LIKES YOU, SHE MIGHT DROP YOUR NAME 991 00:47:16,467 --> 00:47:17,903 TO ALL HER RICH OLD FRIENDS. 992 00:47:17,936 --> 00:47:20,939 MOUSE, HAVE I EVER LET YOU DOWN BEFORE? 993 00:47:22,573 --> 00:47:24,509 NOPE. ( laughs ) 994 00:47:26,144 --> 00:47:28,379 JORGE. 995 00:47:28,413 --> 00:47:30,015 FASTER. 996 00:47:30,048 --> 00:47:32,350 LOOK WHAT SHE SENT OVER. 997 00:47:32,383 --> 00:47:35,320 SHE WANTS YOU TO WEAR THIS TO THE CHAMPAGNE THINGY. 998 00:47:35,353 --> 00:47:37,355 - YEAH YEAH YEAH. - SHE'S A DEMANDING WOMAN. 999 00:47:37,388 --> 00:47:39,357 OH YEAH, THAT'S SNAZZY ALL RIGHT. 1000 00:47:39,390 --> 00:47:41,359 THAT IS A SHARP-LOOKING SUIT, BOY-O. 1001 00:47:41,392 --> 00:47:43,194 WELCOME TO FIRST CLASS. 1002 00:47:43,228 --> 00:47:44,562 NO KIDDING. 1003 00:47:44,595 --> 00:47:46,564 ALL RIGHT, I'M GONNA GO THROW IT ON. 1004 00:47:46,597 --> 00:47:48,566 - DO YOU NEED HELP? - NO, THAT'S OKAY. 1005 00:47:48,599 --> 00:47:50,168 - NO, I THINK YOU-- - IT'S OKAY. 1006 00:47:50,201 --> 00:47:51,502 COME ON, JAKE. 1007 00:47:51,536 --> 00:47:53,671 - DASHELLE. - HELLO, BARBRA. 1008 00:47:53,704 --> 00:47:56,541 OH, WELCOME. SO GLAD YOU CAME. 1009 00:47:56,574 --> 00:47:58,409 - THANKS. - Jake: HEY. 1010 00:47:58,443 --> 00:48:01,512 THAT'S DASHELLE JONES. HE'S IN BENJY BRATT'S NEW FILM. 1011 00:48:01,546 --> 00:48:03,514 - RIGHT. - SOFIA. 1012 00:48:03,548 --> 00:48:05,516 OH, THAT COVER LAST MONTH WAS FABULOUS. 1013 00:48:05,550 --> 00:48:08,353 - THANK YOU, BARB. - THANKS. 1014 00:48:08,386 --> 00:48:10,355 OH, THAT POOR GIRL. I TELL YOU, 1015 00:48:10,388 --> 00:48:12,490 SHE JUST LOOKED TERRIBLE ON THAT COVER-- 1016 00:48:12,523 --> 00:48:15,593 ALL THAT COKE SHE'S SHOVELING UP HER NOSE. 1017 00:48:15,626 --> 00:48:18,563 HELEN, WHAT A SURPRISE. 1018 00:48:18,596 --> 00:48:20,631 BARBRA, YOU SURE KNOW HOW TO THROW A PARTY, LADY. 1019 00:48:20,665 --> 00:48:23,001 HELLO. AND YOU ARE? 1020 00:48:23,034 --> 00:48:26,037 THIS IS GERARD, HELEN, AND HE IS WITH ME TONIGHT. 1021 00:48:26,071 --> 00:48:30,208 OH, WOW, WHAT A GORGEOUS SUIT. 1022 00:48:30,241 --> 00:48:32,543 PAWS OFF OR WE'LL HAVE TO GET YOU DECLAWED. 1023 00:48:32,577 --> 00:48:34,545 PLEASURE TO MEET YOU, HELEN. 1024 00:48:34,579 --> 00:48:36,547 IT'S GOOD TO MEET YOU. 1025 00:48:36,581 --> 00:48:38,549 AND PLEASE CALL ME PEACHES, 1026 00:48:38,583 --> 00:48:40,551 LIKE THE SWEET FRUIT. 1027 00:48:40,585 --> 00:48:42,587 AND ON THAT LINE, 1028 00:48:42,620 --> 00:48:44,455 I THINK WE WILL EXIT. 1029 00:48:45,456 --> 00:48:47,425 Woman: PEACHES, DARLING, 1030 00:48:47,458 --> 00:48:49,494 COME LOOK AT THE MAGNIFICENT WATERFALL. 1031 00:48:51,496 --> 00:48:53,664 - HAVE A SEAT. - OKAY. 1032 00:48:55,666 --> 00:48:57,635 GERARD, I LIKE YOU. 1033 00:48:57,668 --> 00:48:59,570 SO FAR YOU'VE BEEN AN EXCELLENT DATE. 1034 00:48:59,604 --> 00:49:01,472 OH GREAT. 1035 00:49:01,506 --> 00:49:04,309 SO WHY DON'T WE GET A FEW GROUND RULES SET, SHALL WE? 1036 00:49:04,342 --> 00:49:07,078 - SURE. - YOU'RE TO NEVER FLIRT, 1037 00:49:07,112 --> 00:49:09,680 FONDLE OR FORNICATE WITH ANY OF MY FAMILY OR FRIENDS 1038 00:49:09,714 --> 00:49:12,250 UNLESS GIVEN SPECIFIC CONSENT AHEAD OF TIME. 1039 00:49:12,283 --> 00:49:13,985 NO PROBLEM. 1040 00:49:14,019 --> 00:49:15,987 - YOU'RE A QUICK LEARNER. - AH. 1041 00:49:16,021 --> 00:49:18,723 IF YOU'RE GOOD TO ME, I'LL BE GOOD TO YOU. 1042 00:49:18,756 --> 00:49:20,725 THAT'S WHY I'M HERE. 1043 00:49:20,758 --> 00:49:23,694 WHICH BRINGS US TO THE SEXUAL SIDE. 1044 00:49:23,728 --> 00:49:25,396 I TAKE CARE OF MYSELF, 1045 00:49:25,430 --> 00:49:27,698 I HAVE A PLETHORA OF TOYS AT HOME THAT GIVE ME 1046 00:49:27,732 --> 00:49:30,335 A LOT MORE PLEASURE THAN THE AVERAGE MAN CAN OFFER. 1047 00:49:30,368 --> 00:49:32,337 WELL, I'M NOT THE AVERAGE MAN, 1048 00:49:32,370 --> 00:49:35,006 BUT I TOTALLY UNDERSTAND WHERE YOU'RE COMING FROM. 1049 00:49:35,040 --> 00:49:37,008 AND I'D ALSO LIKE TO POINT OUT 1050 00:49:37,042 --> 00:49:39,377 THAT YOU ARE MY VERY BEST CLIENT. 1051 00:49:39,410 --> 00:49:42,080 WELL, AS LONG AS YOU TREAT ME WITH RESPECT, 1052 00:49:42,113 --> 00:49:45,316 YOU WILL MAKE A PRETTY PENNY BEING ON MY ARM. 1053 00:49:45,350 --> 00:49:48,786 AND I MIGHT RECOMMEND YOUR SERVICES TO SOME OF MY FRIENDS. 1054 00:49:48,819 --> 00:49:51,589 REALLY? THAT'S GREAT. 1055 00:49:51,622 --> 00:49:54,092 AND IF I CAN SPEAK FRANKLY, 1056 00:49:54,125 --> 00:49:56,361 I MUST SAY THAT YOU ARE BY FAR 1057 00:49:56,394 --> 00:50:00,531 THE MOST STUNNING 35-YEAR-OLD WOMAN I HAVE EVER SEEN. 1058 00:50:00,565 --> 00:50:02,533 WHAT A CHARMING LIAR. 1059 00:50:02,567 --> 00:50:04,202 SHALL WE? 1060 00:50:04,235 --> 00:50:06,171 WE SHALL. 1061 00:50:06,204 --> 00:50:08,739 * SATURDAY... 1062 00:50:16,547 --> 00:50:20,185 * YOU WERE A CHRISTIAN MAN, MR. MCCANN * 1063 00:50:20,218 --> 00:50:22,753 * WORKED YOU SO HARD IN THE WEEK, YOU COULDN'T STAND IT * 1064 00:50:22,787 --> 00:50:25,490 * WEAK AND REPRIMANDED, WAS GETTING HANDED * 1065 00:50:25,523 --> 00:50:28,193 * SAID YOU'D NEVER SMART THAT GIRL, BUT SHE WAS CANDID * 1066 00:50:28,226 --> 00:50:30,828 * ANYTHING TO MOVE THOSE FEET FROM WHERE THEY'RE PLANTED * 1067 00:50:30,861 --> 00:50:33,431 * OH, THE ANTICS GOT SUPPLANTED * 1068 00:50:33,464 --> 00:50:35,800 * LITTLE WHITE DEVIL, AND SHE SOUNDED ROMANTIC * 1069 00:50:35,833 --> 00:50:38,836 * SWEET SEMANTICS, SMILE NOW, CRY LATER * 1070 00:50:38,869 --> 00:50:41,372 * TAILORED TIGHT TO THE CROTCH * 1071 00:50:41,406 --> 00:50:44,175 * STRIPED COLORED SHIRT, MATCHING BELT, MATCHING WATCH * 1072 00:50:44,209 --> 00:50:46,411 * CATCHY BLOND TINTS ON THE FADE IN THE TIPS * 1073 00:50:46,444 --> 00:50:49,414 * TO THE TOP OF THE HAIR, EVEN TRIMMING DOWN BARE * 1074 00:50:49,447 --> 00:50:51,849 * THE DEVIL-MAY-CARE ATTITUDE, WASN'T YOU * 1075 00:50:51,882 --> 00:50:54,652 * BUT TONIGHT THE COSTUME, IT WAS BUSINESS ONLY * 1076 00:50:54,685 --> 00:50:57,388 * SWOOPING UP A VICTIM, CHICKENS LEAVING YOU LONELY * 1077 00:50:57,422 --> 00:51:00,091 * SMOKING PACKS OF CIGARETTES JUST LIKE YOUR HOMIES * 1078 00:51:00,125 --> 00:51:02,727 * THEM CHAIN-SMOKING PHONIES IN LINE TO RIDE THE PONY * 1079 00:51:02,760 --> 00:51:05,230 * ERRONEOUS TALK, MOTORMOUTH HERE NEEDS A SOCK * 1080 00:51:05,263 --> 00:51:07,865 * YOU COULD HAVE CONTROLLED YOUR COCK, SLOBBER PUSS GOT YOU LOCKED IN * 1081 00:51:07,898 --> 00:51:10,701 * WALKED INTO A SITUATION NOBODY WAS BLOCKING * 1082 00:51:10,735 --> 00:51:13,671 * IN THE MORNING IT WAS SHOCKING, WORKING HARD, PARTY HARDER * 1083 00:51:13,704 --> 00:51:15,673 * BARTERED WITH THE DEVIL AND BECAME A MARTYR * 1084 00:51:15,706 --> 00:51:18,643 * AND FOUND YOURSELF A PARTNER IN DRAG, HIS NAME IS EBONY * 1085 00:51:18,676 --> 00:51:21,546 * SOLD YOUR SOUL TO THE NIGHT, THE MORNING FEELS EMPTY * 1086 00:51:21,579 --> 00:51:23,281 * YOU WORK SO HARD 1087 00:51:23,314 --> 00:51:25,883 * WITH LITTLE SLEEP TO KEEP THAT CARD * 1088 00:51:25,916 --> 00:51:28,419 * YOU SOLD YOUR SOUL ON A SATURDAY NIGHT * 1089 00:51:28,453 --> 00:51:32,323 * YOU SOLD YOUR SOUL ON A SATURDAY NIGHT * 1090 00:51:32,357 --> 00:51:34,225 * YOU WORK SO HARD 1091 00:51:34,259 --> 00:51:36,461 * WITH LITTLE SLEEP TO KEEP THAT CARD * 1092 00:51:36,494 --> 00:51:38,863 * YOU SOLD YOUR SOUL ON A SATURDAY NIGHT * 1093 00:51:38,896 --> 00:51:41,899 * YOU SOLD YOUR SOUL ON A SATURDAY NIGHT * 1094 00:51:41,932 --> 00:51:44,169 * SATURDAY... 1095 00:51:45,803 --> 00:51:48,173 OH YEAH. 1096 00:51:48,206 --> 00:51:51,242 YOU KNOW, THAT'S QUITE A PHYSIQUE YOU HAVE, GERARD. 1097 00:51:51,276 --> 00:51:53,211 THANK YOU, BARBRA. 1098 00:51:53,244 --> 00:51:55,913 I HAVEN'T WORKED OUT IN SIX MONTHS, 1099 00:51:55,946 --> 00:51:59,184 BUT I HAVE STARTED YOGA. 1100 00:51:59,217 --> 00:52:01,186 MAY I ASK YOU SOMETHING? 1101 00:52:01,219 --> 00:52:02,820 ANYTHING. 1102 00:52:02,853 --> 00:52:04,655 ARE YOU HAPPY? 1103 00:52:04,689 --> 00:52:07,358 BARBRA, I COULDN'T BE HAPPIER. 1104 00:52:07,392 --> 00:52:09,360 AND I OWE IT ALL TO YOU 1105 00:52:09,394 --> 00:52:11,762 AND OF COURSE MOUSE FOR HOOKING US UP. 1106 00:52:11,796 --> 00:52:13,764 YEAH, FOR THE FIRST TIME IN MY LIFE 1107 00:52:13,798 --> 00:52:16,534 I HAVE EVERYTHING I EVER WANTED-- MONEY, WOMEN, 1108 00:52:16,567 --> 00:52:19,337 A BED THAT DOESN'T SMELL LIKE CHEETOS AND PISS. 1109 00:52:19,370 --> 00:52:21,172 IT'S GREAT. 1110 00:52:21,206 --> 00:52:24,342 WELL, THERE IS SOMETHING TO BE SAID FOR THAT. 1111 00:52:24,375 --> 00:52:27,445 SO THE LADIES ARE TREATING YOU WELL? 1112 00:52:27,478 --> 00:52:29,447 CLIENTS, YOU MEAN? 1113 00:52:29,480 --> 00:52:32,283 OH YEAH, I FORGOT. 1114 00:52:32,317 --> 00:52:35,420 YEAH YEAH, MOSTLY THEY'VE BEEN GREAT. 1115 00:52:35,453 --> 00:52:37,422 ALTHOUGH HELEN-- SHE GOT A LITTLE UPSET 1116 00:52:37,455 --> 00:52:39,424 WHEN I TOLD HER I DON'T SCREW. 1117 00:52:39,457 --> 00:52:42,293 BUT SHE SEEMED TO GET OFF JUST FINE LICKING MY EARS, 1118 00:52:42,327 --> 00:52:44,295 WHICH IS KIND OF WEIRD, BUT, YOU KNOW, 1119 00:52:44,329 --> 00:52:45,930 GOES WITH THE TERRITORY, RIGHT? 1120 00:52:45,963 --> 00:52:47,632 HMM. 1121 00:52:47,665 --> 00:52:49,934 THAT'S WHY I LIKE YOU, BARBRA, YOU KNOW? 1122 00:52:49,967 --> 00:52:51,936 I DON'T FEEL DIRTY WHEN I'M WITH YOU. 1123 00:52:51,969 --> 00:52:53,938 I FEEL LIKE YOU ACTUALLY 1124 00:52:53,971 --> 00:52:57,942 YOU APPRECIATE ME FOR ME, YOU KNOW? 1125 00:52:57,975 --> 00:53:00,278 ABOUT THAT-- GERARD, THERE'S SOMETHING 1126 00:53:00,311 --> 00:53:02,247 - I'VE BEEN WANTING TO TALK TO YOU ABOUT. - SURE. 1127 00:53:02,280 --> 00:53:05,383 EXCUSE ME, MISS SKYPES, THERE'S A MR. CLIVE HERE TO SEE YOU. 1128 00:53:05,416 --> 00:53:07,685 CLIVE? OH MY GOD. 1129 00:53:07,718 --> 00:53:09,987 DARLING, HOLD THAT THOUGHT. 1130 00:53:10,020 --> 00:53:12,257 I'LL BE RIGHT BACK. 1131 00:53:16,361 --> 00:53:18,396 ( cell phone ringing ) 1132 00:53:27,505 --> 00:53:28,973 HELLO. 1133 00:53:29,006 --> 00:53:31,342 HEY, BABY, WHAT ARE YOU DOING? 1134 00:53:31,376 --> 00:53:34,745 UM, I'M WITH A CLIENT RIGHT NOW ACTUALLY. 1135 00:53:34,779 --> 00:53:37,482 OH, OKAY, REAL QUICK-- WHAT ARE YOU DOING TONIGHT? 1136 00:53:37,515 --> 00:53:40,017 I HAVE A SURPRISE FOR YOU. 1137 00:53:40,050 --> 00:53:42,887 Really? A naked surprise? 1138 00:53:42,920 --> 00:53:44,889 MAYBE. 1139 00:53:44,922 --> 00:53:47,325 HOW'S LIKE 7:00? 1140 00:53:47,358 --> 00:53:50,027 7:00? YEAH. YEAH, I CAN DO THAT. 1141 00:53:50,060 --> 00:53:51,429 See you then. 1142 00:53:51,462 --> 00:53:53,464 ALL RIGHT. 1143 00:53:56,066 --> 00:53:58,035 ( kissing ) 1144 00:53:58,068 --> 00:54:00,505 - THANK YOU. - HI. 1145 00:54:00,538 --> 00:54:02,006 YOU'RE FALLING FOR HIM, AREN'T YOU? 1146 00:54:02,039 --> 00:54:04,008 - YOU'RE FALLING HARD. - MAYBE. 1147 00:54:04,041 --> 00:54:06,377 HOW IS HE IN THE SACK? 1148 00:54:06,411 --> 00:54:07,478 I DON'T KNOW. 1149 00:54:07,512 --> 00:54:09,013 OH MY GOD, WHAT? 1150 00:54:09,046 --> 00:54:11,449 YOU HAVEN'T SLEPT WITH HIM YET? 1151 00:54:12,450 --> 00:54:14,419 YOU ARE SUCH A GOOD GIRL. 1152 00:54:14,452 --> 00:54:17,355 WHEN IS THE BIG DATE, HUH? 1153 00:54:17,388 --> 00:54:20,325 I THINK TONIGHT MAYBE. 1154 00:54:20,358 --> 00:54:22,593 - OOH. - I DON'T KNOW. I MIGHT AS WELL, RIGHT? 1155 00:54:22,627 --> 00:54:25,696 - YEAH, I THINK SO. - I'M PRETTY MUCH A BORN-AGAIN VIRGIN. 1156 00:54:25,730 --> 00:54:27,698 I JUST WANT TO, I DON'T KNOW, TEST THE WATERS, 1157 00:54:27,732 --> 00:54:30,935 SEE EXACTLY WHAT I'M GETTING INTO. 1158 00:54:30,968 --> 00:54:32,937 HMM, INTERESTING. 1159 00:54:32,970 --> 00:54:35,440 YOU'RE GONNA NEED TO MAYBE TAKE THOSE GRANNY PANTIES OFF. 1160 00:54:35,473 --> 00:54:37,442 - STOP STOP. - WHAT DO YOU HAVE IN THERE? 1161 00:54:37,475 --> 00:54:39,777 - STOP IT. STOP IT. - LET ME SEE, LET ME SEE. 1162 00:54:39,810 --> 00:54:42,580 I THOUGHT WE HAD SOMETHING SPECIAL, BARBIE. 1163 00:54:42,613 --> 00:54:44,582 OH, DON'T CALL ME THAT. NOW, CLIVE, LOOK, 1164 00:54:44,615 --> 00:54:46,984 I HAVE TOLD YOU. I DON'T KNOW HOW TO MAKE IT ANY CLEARER: 1165 00:54:47,017 --> 00:54:50,087 I'VE MET SOMEONE ELSE. I'VE MOVED ON 1166 00:54:50,120 --> 00:54:52,623 AND YOU GOTTA GO. 1167 00:54:52,657 --> 00:54:54,959 WHY? IS HE HERE? 1168 00:54:54,992 --> 00:54:57,428 WHERE IS HE? I'LL FIND THAT SON OF A BITCH. 1169 00:54:57,462 --> 00:54:58,996 CLIVE, NOW. 1170 00:55:00,665 --> 00:55:03,368 WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS TO ME, MY QUEEN? 1171 00:55:03,401 --> 00:55:06,337 NONE OF THE OTHER LADIES-- THEY DON'T CALL ME BACK IN, LIKE, A MONTH. 1172 00:55:06,371 --> 00:55:08,873 I CAN'T PAY MY RENT. I-- I-- 1173 00:55:08,906 --> 00:55:10,875 I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO. 1174 00:55:10,908 --> 00:55:16,447 PLEASE PLEASE, I HAVEN'T HAD SEX IN THREE DAYS. 1175 00:55:16,481 --> 00:55:18,883 PLEASE TAKE ME BACK. I'M SO SORRY. 1176 00:55:18,916 --> 00:55:21,386 I'LL EVEN LET YOU DO THE THING THAT YOU DO-- 1177 00:55:21,419 --> 00:55:23,821 THE TICKLE IN MY BOOM-BOOM, REMEMBER? 1178 00:55:23,854 --> 00:55:26,857 CLIVE, LOOK, I'VE MET SOMEONE ELSE. 1179 00:55:26,891 --> 00:55:30,995 YEAH, WELL, DOES HE HAVE A GREEK GODDESS BODY? 1180 00:55:31,028 --> 00:55:32,797 ( grunts ) 1181 00:55:32,830 --> 00:55:34,565 THAT IS A GODDESS. 1182 00:55:35,966 --> 00:55:39,470 MM, IS EVERYTHING OKAY HERE, BARBRA? 1183 00:55:39,504 --> 00:55:41,906 EVERYTHING IS FINE, GERARD. 1184 00:55:43,741 --> 00:55:45,710 GERARD? 1185 00:55:45,743 --> 00:55:48,813 THIS IS THE FAMOUS GERARD? 1186 00:55:48,846 --> 00:55:51,382 HE LOOKS-- HE LOOKS LIKE A WET DOG. 1187 00:55:51,416 --> 00:55:54,385 LOOK, IS THERE SOMETHING I CAN DO FOR YOU, MAN? 1188 00:55:54,419 --> 00:55:57,422 THERE'S SOMETHING. YOU AMERICANS ARE THE SAME. 1189 00:55:57,455 --> 00:55:59,724 YOU THINK YOU CAN JUST WALK IN HERE 1190 00:55:59,757 --> 00:56:01,826 AND TAKE WHATEVER YOU WANT, YEAH? 1191 00:56:01,859 --> 00:56:04,395 I AM THE ONLY BOY TOY IN THIS TOWN, OKAY? 1192 00:56:04,429 --> 00:56:07,164 I LAY THE SALAMI AROUND THESE PARTS. 1193 00:56:07,197 --> 00:56:08,533 OKAY. 1194 00:56:08,566 --> 00:56:10,535 CLIVE, LOOK, 1195 00:56:10,568 --> 00:56:12,737 IF YOU DON'T LEAVE I'M GONNA CALL THE POLICE. 1196 00:56:12,770 --> 00:56:15,740 YOU PICKED THE WRONG CLIVE TO MESS WITH, BUDDY. 1197 00:56:15,773 --> 00:56:18,409 YOU'RE ACTUALLY THE ONLY CLIVE I KNOW, SO... 1198 00:56:18,443 --> 00:56:20,377 WELL, CLIVE THIS. 1199 00:56:24,582 --> 00:56:27,151 NO. 1200 00:56:27,184 --> 00:56:29,487 - ARE YOU OKAY? - YEAH YEAH. 1201 00:56:29,520 --> 00:56:30,721 DUDE. 1202 00:56:30,755 --> 00:56:33,190 OW, GOD. 1203 00:56:33,223 --> 00:56:36,126 I FIGHT FOR MY LOVE. 1204 00:56:36,160 --> 00:56:40,465 BARBIE, I WILL ALWAYS LOVE YOU. 1205 00:56:46,971 --> 00:56:50,475 OH, I USED TO LOVE IT WHEN HE SLAPPED ME LIKE THAT. 1206 00:56:50,508 --> 00:56:52,477 COME ON, HE'S JUST BITTER. 1207 00:56:52,510 --> 00:56:54,612 LET'S GET SOME ICE ON THAT EYE. 1208 00:56:55,613 --> 00:56:57,582 Jake: SO, BARBRA, 1209 00:56:57,615 --> 00:56:59,584 LISTEN, BARBRA, I REALLY GOTTA GET GOING. 1210 00:56:59,617 --> 00:57:01,819 BARBRA? 1211 00:57:36,921 --> 00:57:38,889 YOU KNOW, I WAS THINKING, GERARD, 1212 00:57:38,923 --> 00:57:41,058 WE MIGHT TAKE THIS ARRANGEMENT TO THE NEXT LEVEL. 1213 00:57:41,091 --> 00:57:44,929 LET'S CALL IT A PROMOTION. 1214 00:57:44,962 --> 00:57:46,931 OH, WOW. 1215 00:57:46,964 --> 00:57:48,933 OH SHIT. 1216 00:57:48,966 --> 00:57:50,935 YEAH, I THOUGHT I WOULD CHANGE INTO 1217 00:57:50,968 --> 00:57:53,738 SOMETHING A LITTLE MORE COMFORTABLE. 1218 00:57:53,771 --> 00:57:55,740 INDEED. 1219 00:57:55,773 --> 00:57:59,043 YOU KNOW, YOU ARE SUCH A GOOD-LOOKING YOUNG MAN. 1220 00:57:59,076 --> 00:58:02,580 BARBRA, I COMPLETELY AGREE WITH YOU ON THAT, I REALLY DO, 1221 00:58:02,613 --> 00:58:05,716 BUT AS MUCH AS I HATE TO DO THIS TO YOU, 1222 00:58:05,750 --> 00:58:07,084 I HAVE TO GO. 1223 00:58:07,117 --> 00:58:09,954 I HAVE A PERSONAL ENGAGEMENT I HAVE TO GET TO. 1224 00:58:09,987 --> 00:58:11,956 A PERSONAL ENGAGEMENT? 1225 00:58:11,989 --> 00:58:15,159 YOU KNOW, I'M THE BOSS AND I DON'T RECALL 1226 00:58:15,192 --> 00:58:17,628 SCHEDULING ANOTHER MEETING. 1227 00:58:17,662 --> 00:58:20,230 YOU HAVEN'T FORGOTTEN THAT I'M PRIORITY NUMBER ONE, RIGHT? 1228 00:58:20,264 --> 00:58:22,232 NO, NOT AT ALL. 1229 00:58:22,266 --> 00:58:25,603 BUT IT'S A PERSONAL THING. IT'S NOT A PROFESSIONAL THING. 1230 00:58:25,636 --> 00:58:27,605 SO YOUR PERSONAL LIFE 1231 00:58:27,638 --> 00:58:30,507 IS STARTING TO INTERFERE WITH YOUR WORK LIFE. 1232 00:58:35,045 --> 00:58:37,281 DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW MANY MEN 1233 00:58:37,314 --> 00:58:39,316 WOULD LOVE TO BE WITH ME RIGHT NOW? 1234 00:58:39,349 --> 00:58:42,887 CLIVE, FOR INSTANCE. 1235 00:58:45,022 --> 00:58:47,558 I FIRED HIM. DID YOU KNOW THAT? 1236 00:58:47,592 --> 00:58:49,827 HE WAS YOU BEFORE YOU WERE YOU. 1237 00:58:49,860 --> 00:58:51,629 LOOK, I'M REALLY SORRY, BUT IT'S PER-- 1238 00:58:51,662 --> 00:58:55,833 I FIRED HIM AND HIRED YOU. 1239 00:58:55,866 --> 00:58:58,669 MOUSE ASSURED ME YOU WOULDN'T CREATE ANY PROBLEMS. 1240 00:58:58,703 --> 00:59:00,638 LOOK, IT'S NOT A PROBLEM. IT'S A PERSONAL THING. 1241 00:59:00,671 --> 00:59:03,841 I NEED TO GET TO IT. I REALLY DO, OKAY? 1242 00:59:03,874 --> 00:59:06,343 - BUT I COULD COME BACK. - WHAT TIME? 1243 00:59:06,376 --> 00:59:08,045 - 9:30. - SHARP. 1244 00:59:08,078 --> 00:59:09,747 SHARP. 1245 00:59:09,780 --> 00:59:11,281 THANK YOU. 1246 00:59:21,626 --> 00:59:23,594 NOW SHE WANTS TO TAKE THINGS TO THE NEXT LEVEL-- 1247 00:59:23,628 --> 00:59:25,362 THE NEXT LEVEL. 1248 00:59:25,395 --> 00:59:27,798 I CANNOT DO THIS ANYMORE, YOU GUYS. I CAN'T. 1249 00:59:27,832 --> 00:59:30,701 I DON'T UNDERSTAND WHY YOU DIDN'T JUST SLEEP WITH HER. 1250 00:59:30,735 --> 00:59:32,269 RIGHT, JORGE? 1251 00:59:32,302 --> 00:59:35,072 PLEASE DON'T BRING JORGE INTO THIS. HE CAN'T EVEN SPEAK ENGLISH. 1252 00:59:35,105 --> 00:59:37,374 LOOK, I CAN'T SLEEP WITH BARBRA. 1253 00:59:37,407 --> 00:59:40,010 I REALLY WANT TO SLEEP WITH NORAH. 1254 00:59:40,044 --> 00:59:42,312 AND YOU CAN'T DO BOTH BECAUSE--? 1255 00:59:42,346 --> 00:59:45,616 I THINK I'M FALLING IN LOVE WITH HER. 1256 00:59:47,084 --> 00:59:48,352 WHAT? 1257 00:59:48,385 --> 00:59:50,855 JAKE, WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? 1258 00:59:50,888 --> 00:59:53,824 OKAY, THIS IS SO NOT GOOD. 1259 00:59:53,858 --> 00:59:57,728 I MEAN, THERE'S NO ROOM FOR LOVE HERE, OR WE'RE SCREWED. 1260 00:59:57,762 --> 00:59:59,730 I THINK IT'S REALLY BEAUTIFUL, MAN. 1261 00:59:59,764 --> 01:00:01,932 I'M SO HAPPY FOR YOU, MAN. THIS IS WONDERFUL. 1262 01:00:01,966 --> 01:00:05,636 I'M SORRY, GUYS. I HAVE TO TELL HER, LIKE, TONIGHT. 1263 01:00:05,670 --> 01:00:08,072 I GOTTA TELL HER THE ENTIRE BOY TOY STORY. I GOTTA-- 1264 01:00:08,105 --> 01:00:10,741 - I CAN'T DO THIS TO HER ANYMORE. - OKAY, JAKE, AS YOUR MANAGER 1265 01:00:10,775 --> 01:00:14,044 AND YOUR PIMP, I STRONGLY ADVISE AGAINST THIS. 1266 01:00:14,078 --> 01:00:17,381 WELL, I'M SORRY, BUT I DON'T CARE WHAT YOU ADVISE ANYMORE. 1267 01:00:17,414 --> 01:00:21,719 SO WHAT, YOU'RE JUST GONNA THROW THIS ALL AWAY? 1268 01:00:21,752 --> 01:00:23,721 DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD I'VE WORKED? 1269 01:00:23,754 --> 01:00:26,724 YOU KNOW, THIS ISN'T JUST ABOUT YOU, JAKE. 1270 01:00:26,757 --> 01:00:28,425 YOU GOT A COMMISSION ON EVERY JOB, DIDN'T YOU? 1271 01:00:28,458 --> 01:00:31,261 RONNIE GOT HIS MONEY BACK. HE GOT HIS SMART CAR. 1272 01:00:31,295 --> 01:00:33,731 LOOK, MAYBE BARBRA WILL UNDERSTAND. MAYBE YOU'RE RIGHT. 1273 01:00:33,764 --> 01:00:36,400 I WAS BEING NICE. BARB WILL FLIP. 1274 01:00:36,433 --> 01:00:39,069 SHE WILL RUIN YOU. YOU WILL NEVER WORK IN THIS TOWN AGAIN. 1275 01:00:39,103 --> 01:00:42,172 YOU'LL BE LUCKY IF YOU CAN NAIL A 50-YEAR-OLD CRACK WHORE. 1276 01:00:42,206 --> 01:00:44,274 WELL, MAYBE I DON'T WANT TO DO THIS ANYMORE, OKAY? 1277 01:00:44,308 --> 01:00:45,209 MAYBE WE DON'T NEED ALL THIS STUFF. 1278 01:00:45,242 --> 01:00:47,712 I'LL FIND SOMETHING ELSE TO DO WITH MY LIFE. 1279 01:00:47,745 --> 01:00:49,747 OH YEAH, WITH YOUR WOMEN'S STUDIES DEGREE. 1280 01:00:49,780 --> 01:00:51,782 YEAH, YOU COULD WORK AT A WOMEN'S HEALTH CLINIC 1281 01:00:51,816 --> 01:00:53,718 INSPECTING MOLDY VAGINAS. 1282 01:00:53,751 --> 01:00:56,020 - WHAT? - VAGINAS GET MOLDY? 1283 01:00:56,053 --> 01:00:58,923 THAT'S DISGUSTING. GOODBYE, MOUSE. 1284 01:00:58,956 --> 01:01:01,358 OH. I LOVE YOU. 1285 01:01:03,794 --> 01:01:05,295 LOVE YOU TOO. 1286 01:01:07,231 --> 01:01:08,799 ( screams ) 1287 01:01:12,737 --> 01:01:14,839 - THIS IS IT. - YAY. 1288 01:01:17,041 --> 01:01:19,409 OH, MAMA MIA. 1289 01:01:19,443 --> 01:01:23,180 NOW I GOT YOU, YOU SON OF A GUN. 1290 01:01:23,213 --> 01:01:24,782 ( laughs ) YES. 1291 01:01:24,815 --> 01:01:26,784 YOU NEVER SAID WHAT HAPPENED TO YOUR FACE. 1292 01:01:26,817 --> 01:01:29,720 OH YEAH, I KIND OF FELL OUT OF BED THIS MORNING, HIT THE FLOOR. 1293 01:01:29,754 --> 01:01:31,722 - HI. - HI. 1294 01:01:31,756 --> 01:01:33,991 HI. WE HAVE A RESERVATION FOR TWO. THE NAME'S JAKE DYLAN. 1295 01:01:34,024 --> 01:01:36,827 - SURE, RIGHT THIS WAY. - GREAT. THANK YOU. 1296 01:01:36,861 --> 01:01:38,829 WAIT, YOU FELL OUT? WAIT, WHAT? 1297 01:01:38,863 --> 01:01:40,798 I JUST ROLLED OVER TO THE SIDE. 1298 01:01:40,831 --> 01:01:42,800 OH, HONEY, THIS PLACE IS SO ROMANTIC. 1299 01:01:42,833 --> 01:01:44,802 - THANK YOU. - YOU'RE WELCOME. 1300 01:01:44,835 --> 01:01:47,471 Norah: WOW. 1301 01:01:47,504 --> 01:01:50,007 THANK YOU VERY MUCH. 1302 01:01:50,040 --> 01:01:52,509 - A DRINK LIST? - YES. 1303 01:01:52,542 --> 01:01:54,378 WELL, WE WON'T BE NEEDING THESE. 1304 01:01:54,411 --> 01:01:56,280 HELLO. WHAT CAN I GET YOU TO DRINK? 1305 01:01:56,313 --> 01:01:58,849 WE'RE GONNA TAKE A BOTTLE OF YOUR FINEST CHAMPAGNE, PLEASE. 1306 01:01:58,883 --> 01:02:00,517 - OH, WOW. - COMING RIGHT UP. 1307 01:02:00,550 --> 01:02:03,921 WATCH OUT, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN. HE IS TRYING TO GET ME DRUNK. 1308 01:02:03,954 --> 01:02:06,123 BIG TIME. 1309 01:02:08,492 --> 01:02:10,895 THANK YOU. 1310 01:02:13,430 --> 01:02:14,832 THANK YOU... 1311 01:02:14,865 --> 01:02:16,033 YEAH. 1312 01:02:16,066 --> 01:02:18,502 ...FOR SUCH A LOVELY EVENING. 1313 01:02:18,535 --> 01:02:21,338 YEAH, IT WAS GOOD. IT WAS REALLY GOOD. 1314 01:02:21,371 --> 01:02:23,273 ARE YOU OKAY? 1315 01:02:23,307 --> 01:02:26,510 I NEED TO TELL YOU SOMETHING AND IT'S PRETTY IMPORTANT. 1316 01:02:26,543 --> 01:02:29,413 I NEED TO TELL YOU SOMETHING TOO. 1317 01:02:29,446 --> 01:02:31,782 OKAY, BUT LET ME GO FIRST, BECAUSE I REALLY NEED TO GET THIS ONE OUT. 1318 01:02:31,816 --> 01:02:34,251 LADIES FIRST. 1319 01:02:35,920 --> 01:02:37,888 WHEN I MET YOU, I ASSUMED 1320 01:02:37,922 --> 01:02:40,424 THAT YOU WERE LIKE EVERY OTHER WANNABE IN THIS TOWN. 1321 01:02:40,457 --> 01:02:43,060 I MEAN, ANYBODY AS CUTE AS YOU 1322 01:02:43,093 --> 01:02:45,062 IS USUALLY A PLAYBOY. 1323 01:02:45,095 --> 01:02:46,463 YEAH. 1324 01:02:46,496 --> 01:02:48,799 WHAT I'M TRYING TO SAY IS 1325 01:02:48,833 --> 01:02:51,836 THAT I NEVER THOUGHT THAT I WOULD FEEL 1326 01:02:51,869 --> 01:02:54,104 THE WAY I DO ABOUT YOU. 1327 01:02:54,138 --> 01:02:57,842 AND I'M SORRY THAT I JUDGED YOU 1328 01:02:57,875 --> 01:02:59,910 BEFORE I GOT TO KNOW YOU. 1329 01:02:59,944 --> 01:03:02,813 YEAH, I NEVER THOUGHT 1330 01:03:02,847 --> 01:03:04,815 I'D FEEL THIS WAY ABOUT YOU EITHER, 1331 01:03:04,849 --> 01:03:07,517 OR ANY OTHER GIRL FOR THAT MATTER, WHICH IS WHY I-- 1332 01:03:07,551 --> 01:03:10,254 * MY HEART 1333 01:03:10,287 --> 01:03:12,823 * CAN BARELY START 1334 01:03:12,857 --> 01:03:15,492 * EVERY BEAT 1335 01:03:16,861 --> 01:03:18,829 * WHAT I FEEL 1336 01:03:18,863 --> 01:03:22,900 * IS THE HEAT IN YOUR EYES * 1337 01:03:22,933 --> 01:03:26,503 * LET IT SHINE DOWN ON ME... * 1338 01:03:33,643 --> 01:03:35,612 I'M NOT-- I'M NOT-- 1339 01:03:35,645 --> 01:03:37,614 I'M NOT USED TO THIS RELATIONSHIP-- 1340 01:03:37,647 --> 01:03:39,616 YOU KNOW, ACTUALLY-- 1341 01:03:39,649 --> 01:03:42,619 ACTUALLY FEELING STUFF, YOU KNOW? 1342 01:03:42,652 --> 01:03:46,356 BUT I LIKE IT. 1343 01:03:46,390 --> 01:03:48,458 IT'S NICE, HUH? 1344 01:03:48,492 --> 01:03:50,460 YEAH. 1345 01:03:50,494 --> 01:03:52,529 YEAH, IT IS. 1346 01:03:57,935 --> 01:04:00,971 - Norah: GREAT JOB, EVERYBODY. - ( Jake sighs ) 1347 01:04:01,005 --> 01:04:03,407 - ( Ronnie sighs ) - YEAH? 1348 01:04:03,440 --> 01:04:05,475 THAT WAS GREAT. 1349 01:04:08,012 --> 01:04:10,347 - OH, THAT WAS GREAT. - THANK YOU. 1350 01:04:10,380 --> 01:04:11,681 - I LOVED IT. - YEAH, TRIPPY, MAN. 1351 01:04:11,715 --> 01:04:15,152 ALL THESE STRETCHES ARE TOTALLY GONNA ADD TO MY SEXUAL REPERTOIRE. 1352 01:04:15,185 --> 01:04:17,154 WHY DO YOU THINK I STARTED YOGA? 1353 01:04:17,187 --> 01:04:19,890 OH, WOW. 1354 01:04:21,959 --> 01:04:23,928 SWEETIE, ARE YOU OKAY? YOU LOOK STRESSED. 1355 01:04:23,961 --> 01:04:26,330 ACTUALLY I REALLY NEED TO TALK TO YOU ABOUT SOMETHING. 1356 01:04:26,363 --> 01:04:28,332 YEAH, OF COURSE. I'LL JUST GRAB MY STUFF. 1357 01:04:28,365 --> 01:04:31,668 ALL RIGHT. 1358 01:04:31,701 --> 01:04:33,670 - Ronnie: WOW. - Jake: SHE'S GREAT, ISN'T SHE? 1359 01:04:33,703 --> 01:04:37,207 - Mouse: SHE'S A CATCH. - DUDE, DUDE, WE GOT TROUBLE. 1360 01:04:37,241 --> 01:04:39,910 Ronnie: SCHEISSE. ISN'T THAT THAT--? 1361 01:04:39,944 --> 01:04:41,345 SERIOUS. 1362 01:04:47,985 --> 01:04:49,486 READY, SWEETIE. 1363 01:04:49,519 --> 01:04:52,022 - Mouse: HI. - MOM? 1364 01:04:52,056 --> 01:04:54,191 - NORAH. - BARBRA. 1365 01:04:54,224 --> 01:04:56,360 GERARD. 1366 01:04:57,727 --> 01:05:00,330 - NORAH. - MOM, WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE? 1367 01:05:00,364 --> 01:05:02,332 "MOM"? 1368 01:05:02,366 --> 01:05:04,668 OH MY GOD, MOM, THIS IS JAKE. 1369 01:05:04,701 --> 01:05:08,205 THIS IS THE GUY I'VE BEEN TELLING YOU ABOUT. 1370 01:05:08,238 --> 01:05:09,673 WAIT A SECOND, WHO'S GERARD? 1371 01:05:09,706 --> 01:05:12,276 - I AM. I'M GERARD. - NO NO NO NO. 1372 01:05:12,309 --> 01:05:15,579 GERARD IS JAKE, DARLING. 1373 01:05:15,612 --> 01:05:17,948 AND GERARD STOOD ME UP LAST NIGHT. 1374 01:05:17,982 --> 01:05:19,950 JAKE, WHAT IS SHE TALKING ABOUT? 1375 01:05:19,984 --> 01:05:21,685 MOM, WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? 1376 01:05:21,718 --> 01:05:24,554 JAKE, WOULD YOU LIKE TO EXPLAIN? NO NO, LET ME DO IT. 1377 01:05:24,588 --> 01:05:26,556 YOU KNOW, I JUST LOVE A GOOD STORY. 1378 01:05:26,590 --> 01:05:28,558 DARLING, YOU SEE, 1379 01:05:28,592 --> 01:05:32,262 JAKE HAS RECENTLY BEEN IN MY EMPLOY. 1380 01:05:32,296 --> 01:05:33,663 YOUR EMPLOY? 1381 01:05:33,697 --> 01:05:37,567 YES, SORT OF A PERSONAL EMPLOYEE, YOU MIGHT SAY. 1382 01:05:37,601 --> 01:05:41,171 H-HE'S A B-B-BOY T-T-- 1383 01:05:41,205 --> 01:05:43,473 HE'S A BOY TOY LIKE ME, 1384 01:05:43,507 --> 01:05:46,643 ONLY YOUNGER AND, 1385 01:05:46,676 --> 01:05:49,346 BY THE BULGE IN HIS SWEATS, I THINK HE HAS BIGGER PENIS. 1386 01:05:49,379 --> 01:05:50,714 YOU'RE AN ESCORT? 1387 01:05:50,747 --> 01:05:53,083 - NO NO, LOOK-- - YES. 1388 01:05:53,117 --> 01:05:55,219 I CAN EXPLAIN ALL OF THIS. 1389 01:05:55,252 --> 01:05:57,421 - IN A WORD. - MAYBE. 1390 01:05:57,454 --> 01:06:00,424 YES, I AND AN ASSORTMENT OF OTHER LADIES 1391 01:06:00,457 --> 01:06:02,759 PAY JAKE VERY HANDSOMELY TO ACCOMPANY US 1392 01:06:02,792 --> 01:06:05,462 TO VARIOUS FUNCTIONS AND EVENTS. 1393 01:06:05,495 --> 01:06:09,099 BUT WHAT I DIDN'T KNOW UNTIL LAST NIGHT 1394 01:06:09,133 --> 01:06:11,601 IS THAT HE ALSO KNEW YOU. 1395 01:06:11,635 --> 01:06:13,603 YOU SAID YOU WERE AN EVENT HOST. 1396 01:06:13,637 --> 01:06:15,739 WELL, LOOK, HOSTING THESE DATES 1397 01:06:15,772 --> 01:06:18,575 IS LIKE HOSTING AN EVENT, SO... 1398 01:06:18,608 --> 01:06:21,011 - YEAH. - TOO TRUE. THAT'S REALLY-- 1399 01:06:21,045 --> 01:06:24,614 SO WHEN GERARD FAILED TO SHOW UP AS PROMISED LAST NIGHT, 1400 01:06:24,648 --> 01:06:26,616 I WAS FORCED TO DOWNGRADE TO CLIVE HERE 1401 01:06:26,650 --> 01:06:30,154 WHO HELPED ME TRACK YOU DOWN. 1402 01:06:30,187 --> 01:06:34,091 I MUST SAY, JAKE, STANDING ME UP IS ONE THING, 1403 01:06:34,124 --> 01:06:37,027 BUT TO STAND ME UP FOR MY OWN DAUGHTER-- 1404 01:06:39,096 --> 01:06:41,231 I'M SORRY, OKAY? I DIDN'T KNOW SHE WAS YOUR DAUGHTER. I HAD NO-- 1405 01:06:41,265 --> 01:06:43,300 YOU'RE APOLOGIZING TO HER? 1406 01:06:43,333 --> 01:06:46,136 NO NO, I'M NOT APOLOGIZING TO HER, OKAY? I DIDN'T KNOW SHE WAS YOUR MOTHER. 1407 01:06:46,170 --> 01:06:49,106 I WAS ON MY WAY TO TELL YOU, ALL RIGHT? I ALMOST-- 1408 01:06:49,139 --> 01:06:52,776 OH, LIKE I ALMOST HAD SEX WITH YOU LAST NIGHT? OH WAIT, I DID. 1409 01:06:52,809 --> 01:06:55,179 OH, DISGUSTING. I LIKE IT. 1410 01:06:55,212 --> 01:06:57,181 GET THE-- 1411 01:06:57,214 --> 01:07:00,517 LOOK, NORAH, I HAD NO IDEA SHE WAS YOUR MOTHER, OKAY? 1412 01:07:00,550 --> 01:07:02,786 - YOU HAVE TO BELIEVE ME. - OH! 1413 01:07:02,819 --> 01:07:04,788 JESUS. 1414 01:07:04,821 --> 01:07:06,790 GOD DAMN IT. 1415 01:07:06,823 --> 01:07:08,792 - ( Mouse yelps ) - Ronnie: RIGHT IN THE-- 1416 01:07:08,825 --> 01:07:11,161 FUCK. 1417 01:07:11,195 --> 01:07:14,564 JAKE BABY, 1418 01:07:14,598 --> 01:07:17,434 I GAVE YOU A FEW SIMPLE RULES 1419 01:07:17,467 --> 01:07:19,836 AND YOU JUST COULDN'T FOLLOW THEM. 1420 01:07:19,869 --> 01:07:21,838 NOT ONLY HAVE YOU SCREWED ME OVER, 1421 01:07:21,871 --> 01:07:23,373 YOU HAVE EMBARRASSED MY DAUGHTER. 1422 01:07:23,407 --> 01:07:26,410 AND NOBODY MESSES WITH MY FAMILY. 1423 01:07:26,443 --> 01:07:27,611 GOT IT? 1424 01:07:27,644 --> 01:07:29,613 I KNOW. THIS WAS A COMPLETE MISTAKE. 1425 01:07:29,646 --> 01:07:31,615 I NEVER MEANT TO HURT YOU OR YOUR DAUGHTER. 1426 01:07:31,648 --> 01:07:34,318 OH, JAKE, YOU JUST SCREWED THE WRONG LADY. 1427 01:07:34,351 --> 01:07:37,687 YOU STAY THE HELL AWAY FROM MY DAUGHTER 1428 01:07:37,721 --> 01:07:39,489 AND YOU STAY THE HELL AWAY FROM ME. 1429 01:07:39,523 --> 01:07:42,192 WELL, BARBRA, THAT'S GONNA BE A BIT OF A PROBLEM, 1430 01:07:42,226 --> 01:07:44,528 BECAUSE I'M KIND OF IN LOVE WITH YOUR DAUGHTER RIGHT NOW. 1431 01:07:44,561 --> 01:07:46,530 GEE, YOU SHOULD HAVE THOUGHT OF THAT 1432 01:07:46,563 --> 01:07:50,167 BEFORE YOU STARTED DATING HER MOTHER. CLIVE. 1433 01:07:52,202 --> 01:07:55,739 ( chuckles ) I'M BACK IN BUSINESS, BABY. 1434 01:07:55,772 --> 01:07:58,675 WHO'S THE MAN NOW, GERARD? 1435 01:07:58,708 --> 01:08:02,579 - CLIVE. - COMING, MY QUEEN. 1436 01:08:02,612 --> 01:08:04,881 SHE'S GONNA FORGET ABOUT THAT IN THE MORNING. 1437 01:08:04,914 --> 01:08:07,151 - CLIVE. - LITTLE PENIS. 1438 01:08:10,587 --> 01:08:12,556 * YOU STOLE MY HEART 1439 01:08:12,589 --> 01:08:16,126 * AND YOU PUT IT IN A BOX * 1440 01:08:16,160 --> 01:08:18,128 * THREW IT IN THE RIVER 1441 01:08:18,162 --> 01:08:20,130 * AND FILLED IT UP WITH ROCKS * 1442 01:08:20,164 --> 01:08:22,499 * NOW I'M DOWN AND OUT AND EMPTY * 1443 01:08:22,532 --> 01:08:25,535 * BUT THROWN OUT UNDER THE BUS * 1444 01:08:25,569 --> 01:08:30,540 * AND I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO * 1445 01:08:30,574 --> 01:08:32,542 * GONNA BUY A GUN 1446 01:08:32,576 --> 01:08:34,911 * AND I'M GONNA KILL CUPID * 1447 01:08:34,944 --> 01:08:37,314 * 'CAUSE HE MISSED ME WITH THE LOVE SHOT * 1448 01:08:37,347 --> 01:08:39,783 * AND HIT ME WITH THE STUPID * 1449 01:08:39,816 --> 01:08:41,785 * OH, GONNA GET A GUN 1450 01:08:41,818 --> 01:08:44,721 * AND I'M GONNA KILL CUPID * 1451 01:08:44,754 --> 01:08:47,157 * 'CAUSE HE MISSED ME WITH THE LOVE SHOT * 1452 01:08:47,191 --> 01:08:50,760 * AND HIT ME WITH THE STUPID * 1453 01:08:52,662 --> 01:08:55,532 * AND I FEEL STUPID 1454 01:09:03,907 --> 01:09:06,576 * OH, I'VE BEEN DECEIVED 1455 01:09:06,610 --> 01:09:09,213 * THOUGHT YOU WERE MEANT TO BE * 1456 01:09:09,246 --> 01:09:11,215 * BUT YOU'RE NOT 1457 01:09:11,248 --> 01:09:13,750 * OH, YOU'RE SUCH A... 1458 01:09:13,783 --> 01:09:16,220 * YOU'RE A LIAR AND A THIEF * 1459 01:09:16,253 --> 01:09:18,222 * OH, YOU'RE A LIAR 1460 01:09:18,255 --> 01:09:20,757 * YOUR PANTS ARE ON FIRE... * 1461 01:09:20,790 --> 01:09:22,759 Ronnie: COME ON, JUMP OFF HIS DICK. 1462 01:09:22,792 --> 01:09:24,761 THE GUY'S IN PAIN. LOOK AT HIM. 1463 01:09:24,794 --> 01:09:27,931 HE'S HURTING. WE NEED THE OLD JAKE BACK. 1464 01:09:27,964 --> 01:09:31,201 THE OLD JAKE IS GONE. I'M A ONE-WOMAN MAN NOW, OKAY? 1465 01:09:31,235 --> 01:09:33,203 GOD DAMN IT, JAKE-- HE IS NOT GONE. 1466 01:09:33,237 --> 01:09:35,972 HE IS REPRESSED. HE IS THERE. 1467 01:09:36,005 --> 01:09:38,542 WHAT HAPPENED TO THE JAKE THAT PIONEERED 1468 01:09:38,575 --> 01:09:41,678 THE DOUBLE-DECKER THREEWAY, HUH? 1469 01:09:41,711 --> 01:09:43,680 WHAT HAPPENED TO THE JAKE THAT WAS BANNED 1470 01:09:43,713 --> 01:09:45,682 FROM SEVEN DIFFERENT SORORITY HOUSES? 1471 01:09:45,715 --> 01:09:47,684 WHAT HAPPENED TO THE JAKE 1472 01:09:47,717 --> 01:09:49,853 THAT NEEDED BI-WEEKLY S.T.D. TESTS? 1473 01:09:49,886 --> 01:09:51,621 - EWW. - I DON'T MISS TAKING THOSE. 1474 01:09:51,655 --> 01:09:53,690 - YES, BUT YOU MISS THE REST OF IT, RIGHT? - YEAH. 1475 01:09:53,723 --> 01:09:57,327 GOD DAMN IT, JAKE, WE'RE GETTING YOU LAID TONIGHT. 1476 01:09:57,361 --> 01:10:00,964 GUYS, IT'S A MONDAY. WHAT ARE WE GONNA DO ON A MONDAY? 1477 01:10:00,997 --> 01:10:02,966 GOD DAMN IT. 1478 01:10:02,999 --> 01:10:05,502 WE HAVE THIS HOUSE FOR ANOTHER NIGHT, RIGHT? 1479 01:10:05,535 --> 01:10:08,004 - HOUSE PARTY! - YEAH! I LIKE IT. 1480 01:10:08,037 --> 01:10:10,006 ALL RIGHT, SHIT, SHOWER AND SHAVE, BIG GUY. 1481 01:10:10,039 --> 01:10:12,909 YOU TOO, JORGE. EVERYBODY'S GONNA GET LAID TONIGHT. 1482 01:10:12,942 --> 01:10:14,911 ( dance music playing ) 1483 01:10:14,944 --> 01:10:16,913 Ronnie: MY HEART'S BEATING SO FAST NOW. 1484 01:10:16,946 --> 01:10:18,915 SEE, THIS IS WHY I DON'T WANT TO BE TOO CLOSE-- 1485 01:10:18,948 --> 01:10:20,984 'CAUSE I THINK WE BOTH MIGHT HAVE HEART ATTACKS. 1486 01:10:21,017 --> 01:10:22,986 YOU KNOW WHAT I'M SAYING? 1487 01:10:23,019 --> 01:10:25,655 OH MAN, I GOTTA GO CHECK ON MY FRIEND. 1488 01:10:25,689 --> 01:10:27,657 - PLEASE DON'T GO ANYWHERE. - OH, OKAY. 1489 01:10:27,691 --> 01:10:30,260 DON'T MOVE. WAIT RIGHT HERE FOR ME, OKAY? 1490 01:10:30,294 --> 01:10:32,262 DON'T MOVE. 1491 01:10:32,296 --> 01:10:35,365 MY GOD, WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU? 1492 01:10:35,399 --> 01:10:37,534 - WHAT? - YOU CAN'T SWING YOUR DICK IN THIS PLACE 1493 01:10:37,567 --> 01:10:39,035 WITHOUT HITTING SOME HOT PIECE OF ASS. 1494 01:10:39,068 --> 01:10:43,039 NO NO, I DON'T KNOW, MAN. I THINK WE DISTURBED THE CHI IN THIS PLACE, BUDDY. 1495 01:10:43,072 --> 01:10:44,841 WHAT THE HELL IS THE CHI? 1496 01:10:44,874 --> 01:10:47,477 CHI-- IT'S THIS YOGA STUFF NORAH'S BEEN TEACHING ME, YOU KNOW? 1497 01:10:47,511 --> 01:10:50,547 IT HAS TO DO WITH, LIKE, GOOD VIBES AND GOOD ENERGY-- THAT KIND OF STUFF. 1498 01:10:50,580 --> 01:10:52,649 I'M PICKING UP SOME REALLY BAD CHAKRAS HERE, MAN. 1499 01:10:52,682 --> 01:10:54,284 I'M NOT GONNA LAST. 1500 01:10:54,318 --> 01:10:56,286 CHAKRAS? I THOUGHT THOSE GAVE YOU GAS. 1501 01:10:56,320 --> 01:10:57,921 LOOK, MY BLONDE'S TALKING TO SOMEBODY ELSE NOW. 1502 01:10:57,954 --> 01:11:01,391 - THAT SUCKS. - THAT SUCKS BIG TIME. YOU GO DO SOMETHING, OKAY? 1503 01:11:01,425 --> 01:11:03,293 I CAN'T HAVE YOU STANDING OVER HERE LOOKING GLUM. 1504 01:11:03,327 --> 01:11:06,029 - GO LAY YOUR YOGA STUFF ON THESE GIRLS, MAN. - OKAY. 1505 01:11:06,062 --> 01:11:08,031 THEY LOVE YOGA STUFF. 1506 01:11:08,064 --> 01:11:10,033 OKAY, I'LL SEE YOU IN A SEC. 1507 01:11:10,066 --> 01:11:12,068 WAIT WAIT WAIT, HAVE YOU LEARNED 1508 01:11:12,101 --> 01:11:14,538 - HOW TO SUCK YOUR OWN DICK? - OH, OKAY, ALL RIGHT. 1509 01:11:14,571 --> 01:11:16,940 'CAUSE IF I COULD SUCK MY OWN DICK, I JUST WOULDN'T EVEN LEAVE. 1510 01:11:16,973 --> 01:11:18,942 - OH MY GOD, JAKE. - OH MY GOD. 1511 01:11:18,975 --> 01:11:21,311 WHAT THE HEY, THIS IS YOUR PARTY. WHAT A COINKY-DINK. 1512 01:11:21,345 --> 01:11:23,313 I HAD NO IDEA THAT YOU LIVED HERE. 1513 01:11:23,347 --> 01:11:25,782 - THIS IS MY FRIEND RONNIE. I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU'RE HERE. - HI. 1514 01:11:25,815 --> 01:11:28,051 - THIS IS AMAZING. - YEAH, MY FRIEND MANDY HERE-- SHE WAS LIKE, 1515 01:11:28,084 --> 01:11:31,755 "OKAY, LET'S TOTALLY NOT GO TO THAT PARTY 'CAUSE THERE'S NOT GONNA BE CUTE GUYS THERE." 1516 01:11:31,788 --> 01:11:34,358 I WAS LIKE, "YEAH, THERE'S TOTALLY GONNA BE CUTE GUYS HERE." 1517 01:11:34,391 --> 01:11:36,760 AND THERE TOTALLY ARE CUTE GUYS HERE. AND THANK GOODNESS 1518 01:11:36,793 --> 01:11:38,762 I PAINTED MY NAILS TO MATCH MY DRESS, RIGHT? 1519 01:11:38,795 --> 01:11:41,865 - YEAH, YOU DID. - SO THIS IS YOUR PARTY. THIS MUST BE YOUR PLACE. 1520 01:11:41,898 --> 01:11:43,867 YOU WANT TO GIVE ME A TOUR, MAYBE SHOW ME YOUR BEDROOM? 1521 01:11:43,900 --> 01:11:45,969 - ACTUALLY I WAS JUST-- - YOU USED TO PLAY BASEBALL, RIGHT? 1522 01:11:46,002 --> 01:11:48,004 YOU WANT TO SHOW ME YOUR BALLS? OKAY, LET'S GO. 1523 01:11:52,542 --> 01:11:55,412 REALLY? YOU WANT TO SEE THESE THINGS? 1524 01:11:55,445 --> 01:11:58,415 MY BASEBALLS OR THESE BALLS? 1525 01:12:02,819 --> 01:12:06,122 OH, WOW. 1526 01:12:06,155 --> 01:12:08,124 WHOO! 1527 01:12:08,157 --> 01:12:09,292 WHOO-HOO! 1528 01:12:11,160 --> 01:12:14,431 THIS IS SO MUCH FUN, ISN'T IT? IT'S GOING SUPER WELL. 1529 01:12:14,464 --> 01:12:16,433 ( inhales ) MM. 1530 01:12:16,466 --> 01:12:18,435 OKAY, ALL RIGHT. 1531 01:12:18,468 --> 01:12:20,470 OKAY. 1532 01:12:20,504 --> 01:12:23,607 OKAY, THIS IS TOTALLY NOT LIKE ME. I NEVER HOOK UP WITH RANDOM GUYS 1533 01:12:23,640 --> 01:12:26,843 BECAUSE I'M TOTALLY PARANOID ABOUT S.T.D.s AND TEEN PREGNANCY AND-- 1534 01:12:26,876 --> 01:12:29,479 - NOT THAT I'M A TEEN. - NO, THAT'S GOOD. 1535 01:12:29,513 --> 01:12:32,382 BUT YOU CAN NEVER BE TOO SURE, ESPECIALLY WITH GUYS. 1536 01:12:32,416 --> 01:12:34,684 WHOA. WHY DON'T I PUT ON SOME MUSIC? WHAT DO YOU THINK? 1537 01:12:34,718 --> 01:12:37,621 OH MY GOSH, MUSIC WOULD BE GREAT. THAT IS SO ROMANTIC. 1538 01:12:37,654 --> 01:12:39,623 - AND GUESS WHAT. - WHAT? 1539 01:12:39,656 --> 01:12:41,891 I'VE BEEN BEEN PRACTICING SOMETHING JUST FOR YOU. 1540 01:12:41,925 --> 01:12:44,127 YOU DON'T SAY. WHAT IS IT? 1541 01:12:44,160 --> 01:12:46,029 IT'S CALLED THE BELGIAN PRETZEL. 1542 01:12:46,062 --> 01:12:48,031 I LEARNED IT ON THIS NAUGHTY YOGA WEBSITE. 1543 01:12:48,064 --> 01:12:51,067 YOU JUST TAKE YOUR ARMS LIKE THIS, PUT YOUR LEGS LIKE THIS. 1544 01:12:51,100 --> 01:12:53,069 THAT'S WHAT YOU'VE BEEN PRACTICING? OH WOW. 1545 01:12:53,102 --> 01:12:54,471 IS THIS TOO ADVANCED FOR YOU? 1546 01:12:54,504 --> 01:12:57,607 I KNOW SOME BEGINNER KAMA SUTRA STUFF IF THAT WOULD WORK BETTER. 1547 01:12:57,641 --> 01:12:59,543 IT JUST REMINDS ME OF NORAH. 1548 01:12:59,576 --> 01:13:00,777 YOU'RE THINKING OF NORAH? 1549 01:13:00,810 --> 01:13:03,413 YEAH YEAH, I AM. 1550 01:13:03,447 --> 01:13:05,415 OKAY, YOU KNOW WHAT? YOU TOTALLY SHOULDN'T BE, 1551 01:13:05,449 --> 01:13:07,417 BECAUSE SHE IS, LIKE, WAY OVER YOU 1552 01:13:07,451 --> 01:13:09,886 AND I'M HERE AND I'M DOING THIS YOGA POSE WHICH IS REALLY HARD. 1553 01:13:09,919 --> 01:13:12,422 SHE WOULDN'T EVEN BE ABLE TO DO IT. WE JUST GO BETTER TOGETHER. 1554 01:13:12,456 --> 01:13:14,157 YOU KNOW, WE CLICK. ( snaps fingers ) 1555 01:13:14,190 --> 01:13:17,527 LOOK, I'M REALLY SORRY. I JUST-- I CAN'T DO THIS WITH YOU RIGHT NOW. 1556 01:13:17,561 --> 01:13:20,096 OKAY, WELL, IF RIGHT NOW DOESN'T WORK, HOW ABOUT TOMORROW? 1557 01:13:20,129 --> 01:13:21,731 I'M FREE AFTER WORK ON MONDAY. TUESDAY I'M-- 1558 01:13:21,765 --> 01:13:23,467 - RIGHT. - BUT I CAN SEE YOU AFTER YOGA. 1559 01:13:23,500 --> 01:13:25,635 WEDNESDAY I HAVE MY MANICURE AND PEDICURE, 1560 01:13:25,669 --> 01:13:27,471 BUT WE CAN DO IT RIGHT AFTER THAT. AND THEN-- 1561 01:13:27,504 --> 01:13:29,539 - ( door opens and closes ) - OKAY, BYE. 1562 01:13:37,714 --> 01:13:40,850 LOOK WHAT YOU DID. YOU MADE HIM WORSE. 1563 01:13:40,884 --> 01:13:43,553 OKAY, I'M SORRY, OKAY? I'M SORRY. 1564 01:13:43,587 --> 01:13:45,522 I THOUGHT A PARTY WOULD MAKE HIM FEEL BETTER. 1565 01:13:45,555 --> 01:13:47,824 I DIDN'T KNOW HE GREW A CONSCIENCE. DON'T YOU WORRY, JAKEY. 1566 01:13:47,857 --> 01:13:50,527 THESE EGGS I'M MAKING-- THEY'RE MAGIC EGGS. 1567 01:13:50,560 --> 01:13:52,496 RONNIE'S FAMOUS EGGS-- THEY'LL CURE YOU. 1568 01:13:52,529 --> 01:13:54,498 I DON'T WANT THE MAGICAL EGGS, RONNIE. 1569 01:13:54,531 --> 01:13:56,866 I JUST WANT NORAH BACK, MAN. 1570 01:13:56,900 --> 01:13:59,869 - WELL, CHRIST ALMIGHTY. - GOD, LIFE SUCKS WITHOUT HER. 1571 01:13:59,903 --> 01:14:02,238 WELL, WEEPING LIZARDS, GO GET HER BACK IF YOU WANT HER THEN. 1572 01:14:02,271 --> 01:14:04,073 DON'T JUST SIT HERE AND WHINE. 1573 01:14:04,107 --> 01:14:05,975 Jake: IF YOU PUT IT THAT WAY-- SURE, NO PROBLEM. 1574 01:14:06,009 --> 01:14:08,545 I'LL JUST RUN ON OVER TO HER PLACE AND KNOCK ON THE DOOR, 1575 01:14:08,578 --> 01:14:09,979 TELL HER I'M SORRY FOR BEING A MALE ESCORT 1576 01:14:10,013 --> 01:14:11,715 AND HOPEFULLY SHE'LL TAKE ME BACK? THAT'S STUPID. 1577 01:14:11,748 --> 01:14:14,551 ALL YOU HAVE TO DO IS SHOW HER THAT YOU'VE CHANGED. 1578 01:14:14,584 --> 01:14:16,553 OH MY GOD, YOU GUYS, 1579 01:14:16,586 --> 01:14:19,255 SHE'S NEVER GONNA DATE A MALE ESCORT EVER AGAIN. 1580 01:14:19,288 --> 01:14:22,559 I'M NOT EVEN A MALE ESCORT ANYMORE. I'M UNEMPLOYED. 1581 01:14:22,592 --> 01:14:24,828 AND I'M BACK LIVING IN THIS DUMP. 1582 01:14:24,861 --> 01:14:27,063 HEY, MAN, THIS IS MY HOUSE. 1583 01:14:27,096 --> 01:14:30,133 MAYBE YOU COULD BE THE PIMP AND I'LL BE THE ESCORT. 1584 01:14:30,166 --> 01:14:31,635 DO YOU THINK SHE'LL DATE A PIMP? 1585 01:14:31,668 --> 01:14:34,270 COME ON, MOUSE, YOU'RE NOT HELPING. 1586 01:14:34,303 --> 01:14:37,941 I'M BEING SERIOUS. JORGE COULD SHOW HIM THE ROPES. 1587 01:14:37,974 --> 01:14:40,977 THAT'S NOT ACTUALLY A TERRIBLY BAD IDEA. 1588 01:14:41,010 --> 01:14:43,079 WHAT, PIMPING MOUSE OUT? 1589 01:14:43,112 --> 01:14:45,715 CAN'T PIMP MOUSE OUT. SHE'S ALREADY HAD SEX WITH EVERYONE IN LOS ANGELES. 1590 01:14:45,749 --> 01:14:49,285 - HEY, I HAVEN'T SLEPT WITH YOU. - NOT YET. 1591 01:14:49,318 --> 01:14:52,288 - MOUSE, BEAR WITH ME. THIS COULD WORK. - HUH? 1592 01:14:52,321 --> 01:14:54,624 OKAY, THINK ABOUT THIS. 1593 01:14:54,658 --> 01:14:56,793 BOY TOY ENTERPRISES, RIGHT? 1594 01:14:56,826 --> 01:15:00,697 BOY TOY ENTERPRISES NATIONWIDE. 1595 01:15:00,730 --> 01:15:02,699 YOU AND I COULD RUN THE COMPANY, OKAY? 1596 01:15:02,732 --> 01:15:04,868 WE'LL HIRE A BUNCH OF GUYS. THEY'LL BE OUR ESCORTS. 1597 01:15:04,901 --> 01:15:08,538 IT'LL BE A COMPLETELY LEGITIMATE BUSINESS, RIGHT? 1598 01:15:08,572 --> 01:15:10,540 OKAY, LOOK, WE KEEP IT 1599 01:15:10,574 --> 01:15:12,542 ON THE UP AND UP THE ENTIRE TIME-- 1600 01:15:12,576 --> 01:15:14,578 NO SEXUAL CONTACT OF ANY TYPE. 1601 01:15:14,611 --> 01:15:16,279 OUR ESCORTS WILL PROVIDE THE KIND OF SERVICE 1602 01:15:16,312 --> 01:15:18,648 THAT LONELY WOMEN ALL OVER THIS CITY ARE LOOKING FOR. 1603 01:15:18,682 --> 01:15:20,717 WE'RE ACTUALLY PRETTY GOOD AT DOING THIS, ARE WE NOT? 1604 01:15:20,750 --> 01:15:25,121 WELL, WE DID HAVE KIND OF A SOLID REPUTATION UNTIL YOU SCREWED IT UP WITH BARBRA. 1605 01:15:25,154 --> 01:15:27,290 BUT THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT, RIGHT? 1606 01:15:27,323 --> 01:15:30,193 - WE COULD BE PARTNERS-- YOU AND I. - LIKE SEX PARTNERS? 1607 01:15:30,226 --> 01:15:33,329 - NO, NOT SEX PARTNERS. BUSINESS PARTNERS. - WITH SEX? 1608 01:15:33,362 --> 01:15:35,599 NO, NOT WITH SEX. 1609 01:15:35,632 --> 01:15:37,601 OKAY, THANKS, MOUSE. 1610 01:15:37,634 --> 01:15:40,003 WELL, YOU MAY HAVE SOMETHING, BUT THE QUESTION IS, 1611 01:15:40,036 --> 01:15:42,772 WHAT WILL NORAH THINK? 1612 01:15:42,806 --> 01:15:45,041 I DON'T KNOW. 1613 01:15:45,074 --> 01:15:48,111 I HAVE NO IDEA, MAN. BUT IT'S WORTH A SHOT, RIGHT? 1614 01:15:48,144 --> 01:15:50,346 COME ON, RONNIE. I NEED YOUR HELP ON THIS, BUDDY. 1615 01:15:50,379 --> 01:15:52,315 WE GOT THE SECURITY DEPOSIT FROM THE LOFT. 1616 01:15:52,348 --> 01:15:55,151 THAT COULD COVER OUR COSTS INITIALLY, RIGHT? 1617 01:15:55,184 --> 01:15:57,153 YOU COULD BE THE C.F.O., MAN. 1618 01:15:57,186 --> 01:15:59,656 AND AND AND AND WE CAN FIND 1619 01:15:59,689 --> 01:16:02,125 A VERY VERY ATTRACTIVE YOUNG LADY TO BE YOUR ASSISTANT. 1620 01:16:03,993 --> 01:16:07,030 I DON'T KNOW, IF WE KEPT IT LEGIT, YOU KNOW, MAYBE GOT AN OFFICE SPACE... 1621 01:16:07,063 --> 01:16:10,299 COME ON, SAY YES. PLEASE. 1622 01:16:17,406 --> 01:16:19,142 COME ON, BUD. 1623 01:16:22,378 --> 01:16:24,648 MAYBE? 1624 01:16:27,751 --> 01:16:29,619 ALL RIGHT, I'M DOWN. LET'S PIMP SOME HOS. 1625 01:16:31,420 --> 01:16:33,623 AHH. 1626 01:17:49,332 --> 01:17:52,068 - BOY TOY ENTERPRISES. - BOY TOY ENTERPRISES. HOW MAY I HELP YOU? 1627 01:17:52,101 --> 01:17:54,070 - ( phone ringing ) - ABSOLUTELY. CAN YOU HOLD, PLEASE? 1628 01:17:54,103 --> 01:17:55,772 YES, BUT CAN YOU HOLD, PLEASE? THANK YOU. 1629 01:17:55,805 --> 01:17:57,140 BOY TOY ENTERPRISES. HOW CAN I HELP YOU? 1630 01:17:57,173 --> 01:17:59,142 OKAY, SO YOU SAID YOU WERE LOOKING FOR 1631 01:17:59,175 --> 01:18:01,477 THE INTELLECTUAL TYPE? 1632 01:18:01,510 --> 01:18:03,479 WELL, HE DOESN'T HAVE TO BE A GENIUS, 1633 01:18:03,512 --> 01:18:05,481 BUT HE SHOULD BE ABLE TO MAINTAIN A CONVERSATION. 1634 01:18:05,514 --> 01:18:08,084 SURE SURE, YEAH. OKAY, THAT SOUNDS GOOD. 1635 01:18:08,117 --> 01:18:10,186 WE'LL GET EVERYTHING SQUARED AWAY. IS THERE ANYTHING ELSE? 1636 01:18:10,219 --> 01:18:11,855 MUSCLES. HE MUST HAVE MUSCLES. 1637 01:18:11,888 --> 01:18:13,022 MUSCLES? 1638 01:18:13,056 --> 01:18:15,725 MM, YOURS WILL WORK. 1639 01:18:22,531 --> 01:18:25,468 COME ON. UM, OKAY. 1640 01:18:25,501 --> 01:18:28,437 YEAH, ABSOLUTELY. OKAY, WE'RE GONNA EMAIL YOU SOME PICTURES 1641 01:18:28,471 --> 01:18:30,273 AND SOME STATS WITHIN THE HOUR. 1642 01:18:30,306 --> 01:18:31,474 PERFECT. 1643 01:18:31,507 --> 01:18:34,110 NOW MOUSE HERE WILL GET ALL THE NECESSARY INFORMATION-- 1644 01:18:34,143 --> 01:18:37,513 A CREDIT CARD, EVERYTHING ELSE YOU NEED. 1645 01:18:37,546 --> 01:18:40,483 - I WANT YOU TO RELAX. - THANK YOU SO MUCH. 1646 01:18:40,516 --> 01:18:43,086 THAT'S ENOUGH. THAT'S WHAT WE'RE HERE FOR-- 1647 01:18:43,119 --> 01:18:45,922 PROVIDING YOU THE SERVICE YOU NEED, RIGHT? 1648 01:18:45,955 --> 01:18:48,191 THERE IS NO WAY I WOULD SHOW UP ALONE 1649 01:18:48,224 --> 01:18:51,227 TO A RITZY DINNER PARTY AT BARBRA SKYPES'S HOUSE. 1650 01:18:51,260 --> 01:18:55,264 IT WOULD BE SOCIAL SUICIDE, DARLING, ESPECIALLY FOR US PUMAS. 1651 01:18:55,298 --> 01:18:57,366 WHOA, HOLD ON. DID YOU SAY BARBRA SKYPES? 1652 01:18:57,400 --> 01:18:59,235 YES. DO YOU KNOW HER? 1653 01:18:59,268 --> 01:19:01,537 YEAH. NO NO NO, I DON'T-- I DON'T KNOW HER. I KNOW HER DAUGHTER 1654 01:19:01,570 --> 01:19:04,040 NORAH. 1655 01:19:04,073 --> 01:19:07,376 - WELL-- - IS SHE GONNA BE THERE? 1656 01:19:07,410 --> 01:19:09,178 I SUPPOSE. 1657 01:19:09,212 --> 01:19:12,515 I WILL BE WAITING FOR THAT EMAIL WITH HIGH EXPECTATIONS. 1658 01:19:12,548 --> 01:19:15,318 - GOT IT? - OF COURSE. 1659 01:19:15,351 --> 01:19:17,320 - SEE YOU. - WITHIN THE HOUR. THANK YOU. 1660 01:19:17,353 --> 01:19:19,322 - THANK YOU. - TAKE CARE. 1661 01:19:19,355 --> 01:19:21,224 YOU GOTTA WATCH THE SHOP FOR JUST AN HOUR, OKAY? 1662 01:19:21,257 --> 01:19:23,492 - ONE HOUR-- WATCH THE SHOP JUST FOR ONE HOUR. - NO NO. 1663 01:19:23,526 --> 01:19:26,229 NO NO NO, YOU CAN'T. YOU CAN'T BUST IN ON THAT PARTY. YOU'RE GONNA GET ARRESTED. 1664 01:19:26,262 --> 01:19:30,066 - WHY? - I HATE TO SAY THIS, JAKE, BUT I AGREE WITH RONNIE. 1665 01:19:30,099 --> 01:19:32,869 - I'M NOT GONNA GET ARRESTED. - YOU'RE GONNA CAUSE A SCENE WITH THESE HIGH-CLASS PEEPS. 1666 01:19:32,902 --> 01:19:36,005 AND WE'VE WORKED WAY TOO HARD TO EVEN JUST GET SOME OF YOUR CLIENTS HERE. 1667 01:19:36,039 --> 01:19:38,274 - YOU'RE GONNA KILL BUSINESS. - ALL RIGHT, IT'S COOL. 1668 01:19:38,307 --> 01:19:40,276 - STOP. - YOU GUYS ARE RIGHT. YOU'RE RIGHT. 1669 01:19:40,309 --> 01:19:42,278 I'M SORRY. I WASN'T THINKING. 1670 01:19:42,311 --> 01:19:44,948 - GOD, YOU'RE GONNA KILL THE BUSINESS. - YOU'RE RIGHT. 1671 01:19:46,349 --> 01:19:47,917 - GIVE ME YOUR KEYS. GIVE ME YOUR KEYS. - NO. OW. 1672 01:19:47,951 --> 01:19:50,119 - HEY, JAKE-- - ONE HOUR. 1673 01:19:50,153 --> 01:19:52,121 JAKE, OKAY, I'LL DRIVE. I'LL DRIVE. 1674 01:19:52,155 --> 01:19:54,290 I'M GONNA TAKE YOU. PLEASE. 1675 01:19:55,992 --> 01:19:57,827 WELL, THEN I'M GONNA GO TOO. 1676 01:20:00,029 --> 01:20:02,531 LISTEN, GUYS, I REALLY APPRECIATE YOU COMING WITH ME, 1677 01:20:02,565 --> 01:20:04,934 BUT YOU DON'T HAVE TO DO THIS, OKAY? 1678 01:20:04,968 --> 01:20:08,037 WELL, IF YOU'RE GONNA GO DOWN IN FLAMES, 1679 01:20:08,071 --> 01:20:09,939 I AT LEAST WANT TO WATCH. 1680 01:20:09,973 --> 01:20:13,877 OKAY OKAY, LOOK, THE TRICK IS TO ACT LIKE YOU BELONG, OKAY? 1681 01:20:13,910 --> 01:20:15,879 ACT LIKE YOU BELONG. YOU LOOK REALLY GOOD. 1682 01:20:15,912 --> 01:20:17,881 - JAKE. - THANKS. YOU LOOK REALLY GOOD. 1683 01:20:17,914 --> 01:20:20,216 - THANKS, BUDDY. - ARE YOU READY? ARE YOU GONNA DO THIS? 1684 01:20:20,249 --> 01:20:22,418 - ARE YOU GONNA BREAK SOME HEARTS? - AS READY AS I'LL EVER BE. 1685 01:20:22,451 --> 01:20:25,388 - YOU EVER BEEN TO SWITZERLAND? - NO NO, I HAVEN'T. 1686 01:20:25,421 --> 01:20:27,924 REALLY? WHAT ABOUT OLDER MEN? 1687 01:20:27,957 --> 01:20:29,926 HAVE YOU EVER DATED AN OLDER MAN, NORAH? 1688 01:20:29,959 --> 01:20:31,961 NOT AS OLD AS YOU. 1689 01:20:31,995 --> 01:20:34,363 OKAY, REMEMBER, JUST ACT LIKE YOU BELONG, MAN. 1690 01:20:34,397 --> 01:20:37,934 HEY, CHRISTIE, NICE DRESS. JEEZ. 1691 01:20:37,967 --> 01:20:41,437 HEY, MR. BELVEDERE. HEY, BUDDY, LISTEN, I-- 1692 01:20:41,470 --> 01:20:44,340 - JAKE, OH MY GOSH, WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE? - WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE? 1693 01:20:44,373 --> 01:20:47,176 I'M ACTUALLY LOOKING FOR NORAH. HAVE YOU SEEN HER ANYWHERE? 1694 01:20:47,210 --> 01:20:48,577 - NORAH? - YEAH. 1695 01:20:48,611 --> 01:20:50,479 - JAKE, YOU ARE NOTHING BUT A DOOFUS. - DOOFUS. 1696 01:20:50,513 --> 01:20:52,181 - A GUY HAS NEVER HURT ME THE WAY YOU HAVE. - EVER. 1697 01:20:52,215 --> 01:20:54,283 IT'S LIKE YOU TAKE MY HEART, YOU STICK IT IN THE DRYER 1698 01:20:54,317 --> 01:20:56,886 - AND YOU DON'T EVEN USE FABRIC SOFTENER. - FABRIC SOFTENER. 1699 01:20:56,920 --> 01:20:59,155 HEY, HOW ARE YOU DOING? 1700 01:20:59,188 --> 01:21:01,157 HEY, MAN. 1701 01:21:01,190 --> 01:21:03,159 - HEY, GERARD. - HI, HELEN. 1702 01:21:03,192 --> 01:21:05,028 - WHAT A PLEASANT SURPRISE. - GOOD TO SEE YOU. 1703 01:21:05,061 --> 01:21:07,931 YEAH, HEY, YOU MADE AN EXCELLENT CHOICE DITCHING BARBRA. 1704 01:21:07,964 --> 01:21:09,899 - SHE'S SO HIGH MAINTENANCE. - THAT'S GREAT. 1705 01:21:09,933 --> 01:21:11,901 YEAH, NOW YOU'RE FREE FOR A REAL WOMAN LIKE ME. 1706 01:21:11,935 --> 01:21:14,971 YOU LOOK GREAT, HELEN. I'D LOVE TO TALK ABOUT THIS, BUT SOME OTHER TIME. 1707 01:21:15,004 --> 01:21:17,473 ACTUALLY I'M LOOKING FOR BARBRA'S DAUGHTER NORAH. HAVE YOU SEEN HER ANYWHERE? 1708 01:21:17,506 --> 01:21:20,009 - SHE'S A LITTLE YOUNG FOR YOU, DON'T YOU THINK? - Kylie: MM-HM. 1709 01:21:20,043 --> 01:21:21,978 WHAT ABOUT YOU, KYLIE? HAVE YOU SEEN HER ANYWHERE? 1710 01:21:22,011 --> 01:21:23,446 - SERIOUSLY? - SERIOUSLY. 1711 01:21:23,479 --> 01:21:26,215 WHAT, ARE YOU PRINCE CHARMING NOW? ARE YOU GONNA COME WIN HER BACK? 1712 01:21:26,249 --> 01:21:28,017 - GOD. - YOU'RE SO PATHETIC. 1713 01:21:28,051 --> 01:21:29,085 THANK YOU. 1714 01:21:31,687 --> 01:21:34,123 HEY, BIG GUY, QUICK QUESTION-- 1715 01:21:34,157 --> 01:21:36,125 OH, IT'S YOU. 1716 01:21:36,159 --> 01:21:38,962 ( stuttering ) WHAT'S UP, POOP STICK? 1717 01:21:38,995 --> 01:21:40,930 WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE? 1718 01:21:40,964 --> 01:21:43,632 PARTYING. 1719 01:21:43,666 --> 01:21:46,102 GOD. HAVE YOU SEEN NORAH ANYWHERE? 1720 01:21:47,103 --> 01:21:48,938 YEAH? 1721 01:21:48,972 --> 01:21:51,207 UP MY BUTT. 1722 01:21:51,240 --> 01:21:54,410 - Woman: JAKE. - HI. 1723 01:21:54,443 --> 01:21:58,614 HELLO, HEY. GERARD DEPARDOUCHE IN THE FLESH. 1724 01:21:58,647 --> 01:22:01,150 FANCY SEEING YOU HERE, EH? 1725 01:22:01,184 --> 01:22:04,220 WE JUST HAD A THREESOME IN THE BATHROOM WITH YOUR GRANDMOTHER. 1726 01:22:04,253 --> 01:22:07,356 NO, KIDDING. LET BYGONES BE BYGONES, NO? 1727 01:22:07,390 --> 01:22:09,292 - REALLY? - YEAH. 1728 01:22:09,325 --> 01:22:11,294 PSYCH. 1729 01:22:11,327 --> 01:22:13,396 I GOT HIM WITH THE PSYCH. I TOLD YOU. 1730 01:22:13,429 --> 01:22:17,400 YOU'RE SO STUPID. HE'S SO-- HE'S STUPID, MOUSY. 1731 01:22:17,433 --> 01:22:18,667 YOU DROPPED YOUR DICK BACK THERE. 1732 01:22:18,701 --> 01:22:21,104 - YOU MIGHT WANT TO GO GET IT. - THAT'S FUNNY. I LIKE THAT. 1733 01:22:21,137 --> 01:22:24,740 WELL, WHAT WOULD YOU SAY IF I HAD A 100' YACHT 1734 01:22:24,773 --> 01:22:27,310 DOWN AT THE MARINA WAITING FOR YOU AND ME 1735 01:22:27,343 --> 01:22:29,312 RIGHT NOW? 1736 01:22:29,345 --> 01:22:31,314 WHAT, IS THAT, LIKE, 1737 01:22:31,347 --> 01:22:34,450 99' 8" BIGGER THAN YOUR PENIS? 1738 01:22:34,483 --> 01:22:37,086 RIGHT? GET IT? 1739 01:22:42,358 --> 01:22:46,062 NORAH DARLING, YOU CAN'T JUST SIT HERE AND SULK. 1740 01:22:46,095 --> 01:22:48,731 YOU'RE BECOMING A DISTRACTION FOR THE WHOLE PARTY. 1741 01:22:48,764 --> 01:22:51,000 MOM, I DON'T WANT TO MINGLE WITH YOUR OLD MAN FRIENDS. 1742 01:22:51,034 --> 01:22:52,668 WELL, YOU CAN'T JUST SIT HERE AND POUT. 1743 01:22:52,701 --> 01:22:54,737 - HELLO, LADIES. - GERARD-- 1744 01:22:54,770 --> 01:22:57,640 - JAKE. - JAKE, WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE? 1745 01:22:57,673 --> 01:23:02,045 HI. LOOK, CAN I JUST HAVE A WORD WITH YOU, PLEASE, REALLY QUICKLY? 1746 01:23:02,078 --> 01:23:06,182 JAKE, LOOK, JUST GET OUT OF HERE. DON'T MAKE ME SICK CLIVE ON YOU. 1747 01:23:06,215 --> 01:23:08,384 LOOK, BARBRA, I KNOW I BROKE YOUR RULES, OKAY? 1748 01:23:08,417 --> 01:23:10,753 BUT FOR WHAT IT'S WORTH, I HAD NO IDEA NORAH WAS YOUR DAUGHTER. 1749 01:23:10,786 --> 01:23:12,755 I NEVER WOULD HAVE BAILED ON YOU IF I DIDN'T CARE ABOUT HER SO MUCH. 1750 01:23:12,788 --> 01:23:14,657 I THINK YOU SHOULD LEAVE. 1751 01:23:14,690 --> 01:23:17,426 JUST HEAR ME OUT FOR ONE SECOND, PLEASE? 1752 01:23:17,460 --> 01:23:19,062 EXCUSE ME. 1753 01:23:20,629 --> 01:23:22,798 YOU JUST GOTTA HEAR ME OUT FOR ONE SECOND, OKAY? 1754 01:23:22,831 --> 01:23:26,369 WHAT COULD YOU POSSIBLY SAY THAT COULD CHANGE ANYTHING? 1755 01:23:26,402 --> 01:23:27,570 I'VE CHANGED. 1756 01:23:27,603 --> 01:23:30,106 YOU KNOW WHAT? ENOUGH. ENOUGH. 1757 01:23:30,139 --> 01:23:32,608 ALL RIGHT, I KNEW YOU WERE A PLAYBOY, 1758 01:23:32,641 --> 01:23:35,378 BUT YOU ROPED ME IN WITH YOUR STUPID CHARM. 1759 01:23:35,411 --> 01:23:37,513 YOU LIED TO MY FACE. 1760 01:23:37,546 --> 01:23:40,349 YOU HAD SEX WITH MY MOM'S FRIENDS. YOU HAD SEX WITH MY MOM. 1761 01:23:40,383 --> 01:23:42,418 AND NOW ALL THESE PEOPLE ARE LOOKING AT ME LIKE, 1762 01:23:42,451 --> 01:23:44,553 "POOR GIRL, SHE NEVER SAW IT COMING." 1763 01:23:44,587 --> 01:23:46,622 NORAH, I HATE TO INTERJECT, DARLING, 1764 01:23:46,655 --> 01:23:48,624 BUT JAKE NEVER SLEPT WITH ME. 1765 01:23:48,657 --> 01:23:50,693 JEEZ, HELEN, I REALLY APPRECIATE IT, 1766 01:23:50,726 --> 01:23:53,162 - BUT I DON'T THINK THAT'S HELPING RIGHT NOW. - WE JUST KISSED. 1767 01:23:53,196 --> 01:23:55,164 WE DIDN'T HAVE SEX, 1768 01:23:55,198 --> 01:23:57,566 BUT YOU DID DO AN AMAZING PINKIE POOL. 1769 01:23:57,600 --> 01:24:01,370 WE DIDN'T EITHER. HE WOULDN'T EVEN LET ME TOUCH HIS PACKAGE. 1770 01:24:01,404 --> 01:24:04,840 I SWEAR, SWEETHEART, I ONLY JUST LICKED HIS FEET. 1771 01:24:04,873 --> 01:24:06,275 HE WAS A PERFECT GENTLEMAN. 1772 01:24:06,309 --> 01:24:08,644 ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT, LOOK, NORAH, 1773 01:24:08,677 --> 01:24:10,179 WE DIDN'T HAVE SEX EITHER. 1774 01:24:10,213 --> 01:24:12,381 I APPRECIATE IT, 1775 01:24:12,415 --> 01:24:14,383 YOU GUYS, REALLY I DO. THAT'S SWEET. 1776 01:24:14,417 --> 01:24:16,385 BUT NONE OF THIS MATTERS, 1777 01:24:16,419 --> 01:24:20,223 BECAUSE YOU WERE STILL SEEING DOZENS OF WOMEN BEHIND MY BACK. 1778 01:24:20,256 --> 01:24:23,092 LOOK, I WAS JUST DOING WHAT I NEEDED TO DO TO GET BY, OKAY? 1779 01:24:23,126 --> 01:24:25,861 I WAS PROVIDING A SERVICE FOR THESE LADIES, YOU KNOW? 1780 01:24:25,894 --> 01:24:27,863 LOOK, I WAS ALWAYS A GENTLEMAN. 1781 01:24:27,896 --> 01:24:30,099 I ALWAYS TREATED THEM WITH THE UTMOST RESPECT. 1782 01:24:30,133 --> 01:24:33,436 BUT I NEVER EVER CARED FOR ANY OF THEM. IT WAS JUST A JOB. 1783 01:24:33,469 --> 01:24:36,272 HOW DO I KNOW THAT YOU'RE NOT GONNA JUST TURN INTO GERARD? 1784 01:24:36,305 --> 01:24:39,775 YEAH, IS IT JAKE OR GERARD? WHICH IS IT TODAY? 1785 01:24:39,808 --> 01:24:42,278 - CLIVE. - SORRY. 1786 01:24:43,912 --> 01:24:47,516 HOW DO I KNOW THAT? 1787 01:24:47,550 --> 01:24:49,518 BECAUSE-- 1788 01:24:49,552 --> 01:24:51,520 BECAUSE I LOVE YOU. 1789 01:24:51,554 --> 01:24:54,223 Crowd: AWW. 1790 01:24:54,257 --> 01:24:57,426 THIS IS COMING FROM A GUY WHO'S NEVER SAID THAT TO ANYONE IN HIS ENTIRE LIFE-- 1791 01:24:57,460 --> 01:25:00,829 WELL, EXCEPT FOR RONNIE, BUT HE'S MORE LIKE A BROTHER KIND OF LOVE. 1792 01:25:00,863 --> 01:25:03,299 - I LOVE YOU, BRO. - THANKS, BUDDY. 1793 01:25:03,332 --> 01:25:05,668 LOOK, I LOVE YOU SO MUCH, 1794 01:25:05,701 --> 01:25:07,670 THERE'S NOTHING I WOULDN'T DO FOR YOU. 1795 01:25:07,703 --> 01:25:09,738 AND I'M JUST ASKING FOR ONE MORE CHANCE, PLEASE-- 1796 01:25:09,772 --> 01:25:11,907 ONE CHANCE TO MAKE YOU HAPPY. 1797 01:25:11,940 --> 01:25:15,444 AND I'LL NEVER EVER DISAPPOINT YOU AGAIN. 1798 01:25:19,182 --> 01:25:21,550 I CAN'T HELP IT. 1799 01:25:21,584 --> 01:25:23,719 I LOVE YOU TOO. 1800 01:25:23,752 --> 01:25:27,256 - Woman: YES! - ( applause ) 1801 01:25:27,290 --> 01:25:30,826 HOT-- THAT'S HOT. WHOO! 1802 01:25:32,495 --> 01:25:35,831 RONNIE, COME HERE. 1803 01:25:35,864 --> 01:25:37,500 WHAT? 1804 01:25:37,533 --> 01:25:39,535 NO, COME CLOSER. 1805 01:25:40,536 --> 01:25:42,771 - WHAT? - COME CLOSER. 1806 01:25:43,872 --> 01:25:45,474 WHAT? 1807 01:25:50,246 --> 01:25:52,848 DID I TELL YOU I DRIVE A PORSCHE? 1808 01:25:54,483 --> 01:25:57,420 OH GOD, TELL ME IT'S RED. 1809 01:25:57,453 --> 01:25:59,855 DO YOU KNOW WHAT? I LIKE PORSCHES. THIS ONE TIME WHEN I WAS-- 1810 01:26:01,524 --> 01:26:06,195 THEY CALL ME PEACHES, LIKE FRUIT, BUT SWEETER. 1811 01:26:06,229 --> 01:26:07,563 AND YOU? 1812 01:26:07,596 --> 01:26:10,233 ( British accent ) GEORGE-- GEORGE FROM LONDON. 1813 01:26:10,266 --> 01:26:11,667 OH. 1814 01:26:12,701 --> 01:26:14,403 OH, YEAH. 1815 01:26:15,771 --> 01:26:18,874 OH, THAT'S WONDERFUL. WHAT ARE YOU GUYS DOING? 1816 01:26:18,907 --> 01:26:21,244 - UH, WE'RE JUST CELEBRATING. - YEAH. 1817 01:26:21,277 --> 01:26:23,246 WE'RE JUST OVERCOME WITH HAPPINESS. 1818 01:26:23,279 --> 01:26:27,483 WE'LL MEET YOU THERE. WE'LL JUST BE, LIKE, TWO MINUTES OR SOMETHING. 1819 01:26:27,516 --> 01:26:29,485 OR MAYBE LONGER. 1820 01:26:29,518 --> 01:26:31,487 PROBABLY MORE LIKE 10 OR 15 MINUTES. 1821 01:26:31,520 --> 01:26:34,790 OW. MAYBE HALF AN HOUR, OKAY? 1822 01:26:34,823 --> 01:26:37,393 OKAY, WELL, CONTINUE. 1823 01:26:37,426 --> 01:26:39,762 YEAH, WE'RE NIPPING AT YOUR HEELS. WE'RE RIGHT THERE. 1824 01:26:39,795 --> 01:26:41,129 - OKAY. - WE'RE WITH YOU. 1825 01:26:41,163 --> 01:26:43,299 - ALL RIGHT. - YOU LOOK GREAT IN A SUIT. NO, YOU DO. 1826 01:26:43,332 --> 01:26:45,368 - I'M NOT LYING. YOU LOOK AMAZING. - BYE. 1827 01:26:45,401 --> 01:26:48,003 SO DO YOU, NORAH. 1828 01:26:48,036 --> 01:26:50,439 - SEE YOU GUYS LATER. - OKAY, BYE. 1829 01:26:54,009 --> 01:26:57,380 * CAN'T YOU ADMIT THAT THIS IS NICE? * 1830 01:26:58,647 --> 01:27:01,717 * OH, HONEY, I WOULD KEEP YOU HERE WITH ME * 1831 01:27:01,750 --> 01:27:03,719 * FOREVER, IF I COULD 1832 01:27:03,752 --> 01:27:07,490 * BUT I DON'T THINK I COULD HANDLE THE PRICE * 1833 01:27:10,959 --> 01:27:12,928 * SO BE MY BABY 1834 01:27:12,961 --> 01:27:15,864 * GIGOLO 1835 01:27:15,898 --> 01:27:20,869 * AND GO WHEREVER I WILL GO * 1836 01:27:20,903 --> 01:27:24,239 * AND IF YOU COME RIGHT WHEN I CALL * 1837 01:27:25,874 --> 01:27:27,843 * IT WON'T TAKE 1838 01:27:27,876 --> 01:27:31,246 * ANY TIME AT ALL 1839 01:27:35,318 --> 01:27:37,953 * I'M NOT ASKING YOU TO MARRY ME * 1840 01:27:37,986 --> 01:27:40,756 * IT WOULD JUST BE SO MUCH FUN * 1841 01:27:40,789 --> 01:27:44,727 * TO PLAY FOR A COUPLE OF DAYS * 1842 01:27:44,760 --> 01:27:47,596 * WHEN I SAW YOU IN THE MAGAZINE * 1843 01:27:47,630 --> 01:27:49,532 * COULDN'T BREATHE, I BELIEVE... * 1844 01:27:49,565 --> 01:27:50,966 IS THAT MY BEARD TRIMMER? 1845 01:27:50,999 --> 01:27:53,802 ( blows ) YEAH. 1846 01:27:56,672 --> 01:27:58,641 SORRY, MAN. 1847 01:27:58,674 --> 01:28:01,810 GET THE -- OUT! YOU --! 1848 01:28:03,679 --> 01:28:05,881 --, YOU LITTLE BITCH. 1849 01:28:05,914 --> 01:28:07,950 WE CAN'T DO THIS NINE TIMES. 1850 01:28:10,453 --> 01:28:14,089 * YOU LOOK SO GOOD IN BLACK AND WHITE * 1851 01:28:14,122 --> 01:28:15,591 * YOU KNOW THAT FEELING... * 1852 01:28:15,624 --> 01:28:18,026 I'M NOT WEARING ANY UNDERWEAR, YOU KNOW. 1853 01:28:18,060 --> 01:28:20,363 ( crew laughing ) 1854 01:28:20,396 --> 01:28:23,432 SO THIS IS YOUR GENIUS IDEA, EH, PEEREE GURU-- 1855 01:28:23,466 --> 01:28:24,733 ( expletive deleted ) 1856 01:28:24,767 --> 01:28:27,803 ( mocking mumble ) 1857 01:28:27,836 --> 01:28:29,538 DEAD, ABORTION, DEAD. 1858 01:28:29,572 --> 01:28:31,574 THIS DATE'S NOT GOING WELL AT ALL. 1859 01:28:33,476 --> 01:28:36,845 ALSO, I'M GOING ON A DATE WITH NORAH THIS EVENING. 1860 01:28:36,879 --> 01:28:38,847 WE'RE GOING TO THE HORSETOAD. 1861 01:28:38,881 --> 01:28:40,849 ( laughter ) 1862 01:28:40,883 --> 01:28:43,118 - WHAT KIND OF BAR - Vivian: HORN-- HORNY. 1863 01:28:43,151 --> 01:28:46,021 - ( car horn honks ) - ( tires screech ) 1864 01:28:48,991 --> 01:28:51,360 OH, COMING? DIDN'T YOU SAY SIMULATE? 1865 01:28:51,394 --> 01:28:54,430 - Woman: SIMULATE, GUYS. - OH. 1866 01:28:56,599 --> 01:28:59,034 ( couch squeaking ) 1867 01:29:01,837 --> 01:29:03,806 - Mouse: WHAT ABOUT BARB? - WHAT ABOUT BARB? 1868 01:29:03,839 --> 01:29:05,508 THAT'S WHAT I WAS THINKING TOO. 1869 01:29:05,541 --> 01:29:07,476 YEAH, YOU'LL BE WORKING AT A WOMEN'S HEALTH CLINIC 1870 01:29:07,510 --> 01:29:09,978 - INSPECTING MOLDY VAGINAS. - MOLDY VAGINAS? 1871 01:29:10,012 --> 01:29:11,980 WELCOME TO FIRST CLASS. 1872 01:29:12,014 --> 01:29:14,550 ( laughs ) DAMN IT. 1873 01:29:14,583 --> 01:29:17,119 - WHY? - ( both laugh ) 1874 01:29:17,152 --> 01:29:19,955 STANISLAVSKY. 1875 01:29:19,988 --> 01:29:21,957 - I TOOK HIM ONCE - ( loud pop ) D IT. 1876 01:29:21,990 --> 01:29:24,760 RIGHT, ROBERT? 1877 01:29:24,793 --> 01:29:26,762 ( both laughing ) 1878 01:29:26,795 --> 01:29:28,464 HIS-S-S-STORY. 1879 01:29:28,497 --> 01:29:30,132 ( laughing ) 1880 01:29:30,165 --> 01:29:33,602 * WE WILL SEE HOW IT GOES 1881 01:29:35,471 --> 01:29:39,442 * SO BE MY BABY GIGOLO 1882 01:29:40,809 --> 01:29:43,979 * AND GO WHEREVER I WILL GO 1883 01:29:45,948 --> 01:29:47,916 * WHY DON'T YOU TAKE OFF 1884 01:29:47,950 --> 01:29:51,019 * ALL YOUR CLOTHES? 1885 01:29:51,053 --> 01:29:53,422 * AND WE WILL SEE 1886 01:29:53,456 --> 01:29:56,391 * HOW IT GOES 1887 01:29:58,093 --> 01:30:01,497 WHAT KIND OF APARTMENT-- IN THERE, FOR GOD'S SAKE? 1888 01:30:01,530 --> 01:30:03,198 * OOH OOH OOH OOH 1889 01:30:03,231 --> 01:30:06,034 * AND GO WHEREVER I WILL GO 1890 01:30:08,136 --> 01:30:11,607 * AND IF YOU COME RIGHT WHEN I CALL * 1891 01:30:13,241 --> 01:30:15,511 * IT WON'T TAKE 1892 01:30:15,544 --> 01:30:20,616 * ANY TIME 1893 01:30:24,553 --> 01:30:29,758 * AT ALL. 136337

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