All language subtitles for Sabrina, The Teenage Witch - 03x06 -Good Will Haunting-eng

( organ playing Bach's "Toccata
and Fugue in D minor" )

( wolf howls )

( man screams )

( imitating Alfred Hitchcock ):
Good evening.

It's that time
of year again, children.

Halloween.

( chuckling )

( laughing )

( guffawing )

( gagging )

I'll work on that.

( clears throat )

Tonight's terrifying episode

of Sabrina, the Teenage Witch

may not be suitable
for some parents.

( man screaming )
( laughs )

This would be a good time

to put them to bed.

I'll wait.

( screaming )
¶ Dum-de-dum-dum-dum ¶

( whistling )

Oh. Oh.

That was quick.

So you're all alone
without Mommy or Daddy?

Well, there's been a jailbreak.

An escaped convict
in your neighborhood.

Ooh. Who's that behind you?

( screaming, crying )

( laughing )

Made you look.

( laughing maniacally )

( upbeat rock theme playing )

I'm one hot tamale.

( Hilda screaming )

Hilda!

Hilda, get ahold of yourself.

Oh. Thanks.
I needed that.

Oh, no. We've been invited

to Aunt Beulah's
Halloween party again.

Aunt Beulah?
I've never met her.

Does she know the family secret?

Her only secret
is that she's managed to throw

the dullest Halloween party

for the last 500 years in a row.

So why do you guys go?

It's not like your social life--

Oh.

We've never gone.

Come to think of it,
we've never even met her.

And we're running out
of excuses.

World wars I and II,

the Chicago fires

not to mention
Luke and Laura's wedding.

Oh, dear, we have to go.

Oh, thank goodness.

I was afraid I was gonna
have fun this Halloween.

There.

We've R.S.V.P.'d.

Which stands for "rotten,
stupid, vile party."

Well, it's not like
it's etched in stone.

"Spellman family confirmed
for Allhallows Eve."

Is it possible
to put someone up

for adoption
just for one night?

Yeah, put me up.

VALERIE:
I've got the best idea
for Halloween.

Harvey, Justin, you
and me at your house

watching scary movies.

Please tell me you haven't
already invited them.

No, I learned my lesson
from last year.

I'm telling you
before I invite people

to your house
without telling you.

Good. 'Cause I'd really like
to have you guys over,

but I've already
promised my aunts--

Harvey!

VALERIE: And Justin.
Sabrina.

And Valerie.

Let's not break into song, okay?

What are we doing for Halloween?

Watching scary movies
at Sabrina's house.

Cool. We'll get the movies,
you get the hoagies.

Valerie, you invited people
to my house again.

Sorry.
It's so ironic.

It's the one area of my life
I'm really pushy.

Please, please, please.

Don't make me go to
Aunt Beulah's party.

Come on.
It's our first double date.

Come on.

I-If you say yes,
I'll do all the cooking

the cleaning, the laundry.

You won't have to lift
your finger for weeks.

Come on, look at this face.

Oh, all right.
You don't have to go.

Thanks. Are you still
gonna hold me to that

cooking, cleaning,
laundry thing?

( laughs )

Boo.

Salem,
you look ridiculous.

You were terrified,
and you know it.

( scoffs )

MAN:
Special delivery
for Sabrina Spellman.

Oh, that's me.

Um, would you accept
an invisible tip?

How about you kiss
my invisible behind?

Sounds like someone
should go back to sorting.

Why does Sabrina get
to stay home

and I have to go?

Hey, Aunt Beulah sent me
a Halloween present

'cause I can't make it
to her party.

She doesn't have to go
and she gets presents?

It's a Molly Dolly?

Whatever happened
to a crisp 20?

Oh, well, dear,
she means well.

Listen,
if you need to call us,

we left the number.

This will be fun.

I haven't been a chaperone
since Altamont.

I don't have to go. I just
remembered I have free will.

No, you don't.

Okay,
young lady,

you listen,
and you listen good.

There will be no smooching, no--

( doorbell ringing )

They're here.

Play with my doll.

Trick or treat.

Hey, good call on
not wearing a costume.

Where are the guys?

( guys grunt )
( screams )

Pretty scary, huh?

On a lot of levels.

Cool. A storm.

Hope my little brother's okay.
He's going as the tin man.

I bet it's gonna rain.

Perfect night
to watch scary movies.

SABRINA:
Yeah.

Remains of the Day?

Enchanted April?

The Bridges of Madison County?

Sorry. We got to
the movie store kinda late

and these were the only
scary movies we could find.

Well, come on in.

The hoagies are on.

The root beer's chilled.

( spooky theme playing )

Very funny, Salem.

Five's a crowd, doll.

( wolf howling in distance )

Now, remember...

When you want me
to shoot you and put you out

of your misery,
you'll scratch your nose.

Right.

Now brace yourself
for an evening

of awkward conversation
and disturbing smells.

( wolf howls in distance )

( spooky theme playing )

( screams )

What is it?

Clint Eastwood
just took his shirt off.

Nothing worse than cold popcorn.

Uh, I'll, uh-- I'll be
right back with some more.

You're just a doll.

You didn't smile at me, right?

I'm a Molly Dolly.

Salem, please tell me
you're throwing your voice.

Mm? Mm, not me.

( muffled ):
Too many caramels.

( scary theme playing )

Hilda, stop it.

We're not leaving
until we find Aunt Beulah.

Excuse me.

Are you Aunt Beulah?

Oh,no. I'm Delilah,

and I'm delighted to meet you.

They sound alike.

It's a real
conversation starter.

Okay, she's not
here. Let's go.

Ladies, allow me
to introduce myself.

I am Dr. Hans Egglehoffer.

The Dr. Hans Egglehoffer?

The renowned psychiatrist,
author and surgeon?

Really? Where?

Oh. Whoo! That's me.

( laughs )

This party isn't going
to be boring after all.

Dr. Egglehoffer
is the foremost authority

on slug reproduction.

Ooh, ask him
if he's got a friend.

Hi, simply hi.

I'm Gary Owens.

The TV personality?

Oh, sure you are.

Yes, and I also have
my own radio show

heard nationwide
by 15 million listeners.

Thank you.

Doesn't even sound
like Gary Owens.

Is this a fabulous party
or what?

Well, obviously,
you've had a few...too many.

So after our perfunctory hellos
and good-byes

to old Aunt Beulah,

we'll drive you home.

But I am home.

But that would
make you Aunt Beulah.

That's...

¶ Me-e-e-e-e ¶

Aunt Beulah!

Oh, darling.

We're so happy
we finally made it.

Well, that's a load
of bull honky, but I love it.

( laughs )

Listen up,
everybody.

It's time for a toast.

I have been up all night

making this candy corn.

Tell me what you think.

Be brutal.

Be brutal.

It's kind of stale.

Monster.

Okay. Nobody's seen anything.

The night is still salvageable.

I'm a Molly Dolly.

Look, I'm sure you're a nice
dolly, but I don't have time--

Sabrina?
Valerie!

Why are you talking to a doll?

Because I don't
believe in hitting them.

You have some trick-or-treaters,

but none of us
can open the door.

Trick-or-treaters?

What could they possibly want?

( sighs )

Make sure she doesn't
get out of there.

A little time in the box
might do her some good.

Wow, Mulan has quite an arm.

Hey, if you kids
don't knock it off,

I'm gonna
break out the raisins!

You okay?
Yeah.

There must be
an electrical storm,

and you know eggs
conduct lightning.

I'll just go try
the back door.

Here,
I'll help you.

No! Look.

Another bridge.

Now I know why my mom
loves this movie.

You know, you have
a fascinating brain.

I would love to study it.

Oh, you're too kind.

Mind if I take
a few measurements?

Don't you wanna try
the cocktail wieners?

I hear they're good.

"If you like cocktail wieners,

"you'll love our new cheese log.

"Made with 100 percent cheese

and 50 percent log."

I hope this party's over

while I'm still in my 500's.

( laughing )

I don't get it.

Excuse me.

Okay, I can't take it anymore.

I've had enough of this party

and enough candy corn.

I wanna go home.

Don't you think I wanna leave?

But we can't during the toast.

It would just be rude.

After all these centuries

I'm celebrating Halloween

with my dear nieces,

Hilda and Zelda.

Not now.
I don't give a bat's behind.

I want to go home!

( crowd gasps )

Well. Uh...
we'll just be leaving now.

Oh, that's impossible. Ha.

Oh, Bellevuedere.

This is an insane asylum.

No one leaves...ever.

( laughing )

It didn't say that
on the invitation.

( maniacal laughter )

I'm a Molly Dolly.

I know.

Wait.

You're behind all this.

Why'd you seal all the doors?

How'd you get out of the box?

Where's Salem?

( Salem crying, muffled )

( gasping ):
The Molly Dolly is bad.

Hide me behind the rye
and close the door.

You sicken me.

Look, Molly "Psycho" Dolly,
I don't know

what you're up to, but
if you don't unlock this house,

I'm gonna throw you out
in the middle of traffic.

Well...as soon
as you unlock this house.

I'm a Molly Dolly.

Stop it! Can't you
say anything else?

I'm a Molly Dolly,

and I'm gonna get you.

That's not
what I wanted to hear.

( spooky theme playing )

Look, Molly,
I'm not afraid of you.

I don't know if you're aware
of this, but I'm a witch.

Ooh, I'm scared.

Sarcasm not sold separately.

( giggling )

SABRINA:
Look, I'm warning you.

I have friends over.

Oh, goody.

I have friends too.

Oh, um--

Nice to meet you, Frank.
How'd the operation turn out?

Got to go.
( growling )

( growling )

Hoagies repeating
on you too, huh?

( violin playing )

Do I hear a violin?

I need the practice.

Don't look! I'm self-conscious.

( growling )

Not the sharpest pencil
in the monster box.

( chuckles )

You can't just keep us here.

We can just zap ourselves out.

What have you done
with our magic?

You no longer have your power.

That's what
the candy corn was for.

Oh, Bellevuedere!

Oh.
Oh.

You don't understand.

We do not belong
in an insane asylum.

We don't even
like Crazy Bread.

Maybe we'll have
to subdue you.

Won't hurt a bit.

Not me, anyway. Ha.

( in unison ):
Run!

I'm glad I wore
my sensible shoes.

They were on sale at Fayva.

The prices were insane!

Okay, it's late.

Time to go. See you at school.

I'm looking
at a still photo. Move!

It's only 8:45.

And the doors are stuck.

I'm pretty sure
the mud porch is wide open.

Not anymore.

Don't go.

The knife--
Heh-heh.

I mean, the night
has just begun.

And they say she's
the next Teddy Ruxpin. Ha!

Who turned out the lights?

( giggles )

( all screaming )

( giggles )

Me!

SABRINA:
That's it.

I'm calling my aunts for help.

The phone's dead.

If you're a teenager
scared out of your wits,

press the pound key now.

Listen,
I shouldn't tell you this,

but it may be our only chance
for survival.

That doll has magical powers.

It's out to get all of us.

Run! Hide! Save yourselves!

( laughs )

Sabrina, when you do a prank,
you go all out.

I heard about
your river of candy corn.

It's not a prank!

We're never gonna get
to see Enchanted April!

( all laughing )

( giggling )

All right, I think
we've lost Bellevuedere.

Luckily, we were running
and he was frolicking.

Oh, great-- an exit.
We can escape.

( babbling )

Nope, just an escape

from reality.

Quick. Bellevuedere's coming.

I know a way out.

Oh, thank goodness,
Delilah.

You're the only
sane person here.

Delilah? My name's not Delilah.

It's Fred.

Don't make me turn this
car around.

( making motor running noises )

It's funny. I never thought
I'd die this way.

Not really funny ha-ha.

No.

More funny ha-ha--

( chortling )

Well, I thought it was funny.

( both scream )

There's gotta be a flashlight
around somewhere.

Are we afraid of the dark?

Can we take out her batteries
or something?

I can't find a candle,
a match, a torch--

There's never an angry mob
around when you need one.

Here's some light.

Maybe we could put
a bag over her head.

¶ Merrily, merrily
Merrily, merrily ¶

¶ Life is but a scream ¶

Sabrina, I know you went
to a lot of trouble,

but sometimes pranks
can go too far.

( thunder crashes )

( growling )

( groaning )

See, this is exactly
what I'm talking about.

( all scream )

( growling )
( groaning )

( scary rock theme playing )

( all scream )

( both scream )

What am I gonna do?

There's no spell
to stop killer dolls.

Well, at least find one
to turn on the lights.

I don't believe this.

Clap on.

Well, good. We have light.

Maybe now we have a fighting
chance against Molly.

Come on, Salem.

( gasps )

Oh, wait.
There's the exit.

Let's go.
No.

They're not gonna
fool us this time.

I'm onto them.

Laboratory, my eye.

( Hilda screams )

I don't know about you,
but I wish we would have tried

that door marked "exit."

How kind of you to join us.

I realize you've been captured.

I'm just, uh, being ironic.

Come in.

Here, sit, sit, sit.

Sit here. Ah, ah, ah--

Now, I will attempt
to switch your brains

with the brains
of the two chickens over there.

What? You will
do no such thing.

You should have heard
the chickens complaining.

You're lucky.

Usually his experiments
are kind of crackpot.

And that was "They're
Coming To Take Me Away."

Next up: "They're
Coming To Take Me Away."

Let the experiment begin.

Ah.

Everyone's hiding?

¶ Come out, come out ¶

¶ Wherever you are ¶

That's it! You're going down,

you little plastic nightmare.

( action theme playing )

( yells )

Your winking days are over.

Way to go, Sabrina.

My plan to pretend
I was a coward worked.

Ah. Okay.

All I have to do
is go wrestle Frankenstein,

the mummy
and all those other freaks.

I'll go get my aunts.

You'll never get away with this.

You'd better hope Aunt Beulah
saved your receipt.

You don't toy with Sabrina,

especially if you're a toy.

MOLLY: Oh, really?
Huh?

( spooky theme playing )

( gasping ):
Sabrina. Sab-- Sa--

Next up: "Crazy."

Oh. Aunt Hilda, Aunt Zelda,
you've gotta help me.

Aunt Beulah's doll is wacko.

Harvey, Valerie and Justin
are gonna die.

What am I going to do?

( clucking and squawking )

Could you be a little bit
more specific?

What a lovely cranium,
my dear.

Mind if I borrow it?

You leave her alone.

Sabrina, over here.

Okay, so,
what am I gonna do?

Well, first, we've got

to figure out how we can

not be chickens anymore.

You must be Sabrina.

Everyone, I want you to meet

my great-niece, Sabrina.

DELILAH:
Hey!

That's my name too.

ZELDA:
Aunt Beulah, please don't turn
Sabrina into a chicken.

She's so young.

And high school's so--

Oh, no.
Something's happening to me.

I'm laying an egg.

Oh, that's what happened to me

when I tried to do Music Man
in dinner theater.

Don't worry.

Nothing's going to happen
to Sabrina.

This isn't an insane asylum.

It's a theme party.

You mean this whole thing
is a joke?

If you'd come to my last
500 parties, you would know.

Last year,
we had a prison riot.

Excuse me. I hate
to be the only adult here,

but I have a problem
with my doll.

Oh, no, I hope
I didn't send you the wrong one.

Zelda...

and Hilda...

let's go.

HILDA:
I know I'm a healthy
alternative to red meat,

but change me back.

( growling )

Isn't this fun? Hee-hee.

See what she's doing?

Oh, what's the problem?

This is the right doll.

I thought Molly
would be fun for Halloween.

No. You see, in this realm,

we don't give toys like this
to children.

Fine. I'll stop her.

( clears throat )

( belting out high note )

I'll stop terrorizing
if you stop yelling.

Deal.
Okay, guys, pack it up.

Party's over.

( grunts )

( laughing )

( all laughing )

Oh, you should have seen
the look on your faces.

Great prank, huh?

Yeah, it was great, uh,

but we were onto you.

So you guys wanna stay and watch
the rest of the movies?

( in unison ):
No!

Oh, honey, are you okay?

( clucks )

Excuse me.

Oh, sure. It's not every day

a girl has Frankenstein,
the Mummy, a vampire,

the Headless Horseman and
a werewolf on her double date.

Molly, I didn't tell you
to send a werewolf.

And I didn't.

( growls )

I think I finally
got him calmed down.

Don't make any sudden noises.

( all screaming )

Was it real, or wasn't it?

I know that was scary,

but don't worry, kids.

It's all behind us now.

( Hilda screaming )

Hilda,
get ahold of yourself.

Oh! Thanks.

I needed that.

Oh, no. We've been invited

to Aunt Beulah's
Halloween party.

Aunt Beulah?
I've never met her.

Huh?

( screams )

It never ends!

( screaming )